Contents Introducing Field Representatives
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Why Ministry with Men?
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What is Ministry with Men?
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Vision
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Strategy
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Team
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Goals
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Men’s Small Groups
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Ministry with Men Survey
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Ministry with Men Strategic Planning Tool
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Grow Your Men, Grow Your Church
Here to Help the Men of Your Church
COACHING & FIELD REPRESENTATIVES
PASTORS & MEN’S MINISTRY LEADERS
EVENTS & RESOURCES
MEN Transforming Ordinary Guys Into Extraordinary Men
THE SEVEN PROMISES OF A PROMISE KEEPER A Promise Keeper is committed to: 1. Honouring Jesus Christ through worship, prayer and obedience to God’s Word in the power of the Holy Spirit. 2. Pursuing vital relationships with a few other men, understanding that he needs brothers to help him keep his promises. 3. Practicing spiritual, moral, ethical and sexual purity. 4. Building strong marriages and families through love, protection and biblical values. 5. Supporting the mission of his church by honouring and praying for his pastor and by actively giving his time and resources. 6. Reaching beyond any racial and denominational barriers to demonstrate the power of biblical unity. 7. Influencing his world, being obedient to the Great Commandment (Mark 12:30,31) and the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19,20). April 2011
Field Representatives - We’re Here to Help! Establishing an effective Men’s Ministry is challenging for any church. It takes commitment and resources over a period of several years. The Promise Keepers Field Representative network is a way that men can help men succeed at a local level. Consult with a Field Representative to chart a way forward for your church using key tips, ideas and strategies. You benefit from quick and easy access to the Field Representative in your region. We are here to discuss the best way to advance your Men’s Ministry and recommend other resources where needed. The service is free, although some resources are available on a donation basis.
Who Are We? Field Representatives have proven experience in Ministry with Men. We are volunteers who are committed to seeing growth in Ministry with Men and are willing to share our experience. Field Representatives have ongoing training in addition to benefitting from the experience of others in the network. We have access to Promise Keepers information and resources and Coaching staff. If your specific enquiry is outside our personal experience, we can still find the answers for you.
Field Representatives - another way Promise Keepers is working with local churches so that everyone wins!
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WHY MINISTRY WITH MEN? Gender Gap The average gender gap in NZ churches is 39% men and 61% women.1 In the Anglican Church, women make up 67.8% of their congregations; in Union/Co-operating parishes it is 66%, and in the Presbyterian Church, it is 64.1%, with the other leading denominations not far behind.2 In most churches that close their doors, it has been the men who have left first. 1
The 2001 NZ Church Life Survey, NCLS Research, Attender Demographics 2
Dr Peter Lineham, Massey University 2010
Men’s Influence Men can be positive influencers – especially of families. If a child comes to Christ first – 3.5% of families will follow. If Mum comes to Christ first – 17% of families will follow. If Dad comes to Christ first – 93% of families will follow.
Why Men Are Important For Churches 1.
Men’s focus on the outside world promotes church health - Men make things happen. Men expand the church and its influence in the world. Their outward focus is a gift to the church. Without a masculine spirit the church turns inward. It begins to minister primarily to the family in here instead of the world out there.
2.
Men’s orientation toward risk promotes church health - Men are hard-wired for risk taking. In the parable of the talents (Matt 25:14-30), the master praises two servants who invested their assets and produced more, but he curses the servant who played it safe. He who avoids all risk is, in the words of Jesus, “wicked and lazy” (v 26).
3.
Men’s pragmatism brings innovation to the church - Men are always trying to improve things. They’re tinkerers. A generation ago men like Rick Warren and Bill Hybels asked, “How can we do church better?” The results are Saddleback and Willow Creek... two churches that have scads of committed men.
4.
Men bring strength to the church - Gordon Dalbey notes, “A unique and truly awesome power arises when men gather together: the power which God gives especially to men collectively, to get His work done in the world”.
5.
Men bring money to the church - A straight-shooting pastor once told me, “When she comes to church and he doesn’t, you get the tithe off the grocery money. When they come together, you get the tithe off the pay cheque”.
6.
Men bring their families to church - In Acts 16 Paul and Silas shared the gospel with their jailer. The man was instantly changed. He immediately took the apostles to his house, where they shared Christ with his family. In the Bible, fathers lead their children to God, not the other way around.
7.
Godly men attract women - Without dynamic, life-giving men, a church will eventually lose its women as well, especially the younger ones.
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Excerpted from Why Men Hate Going to Church by David Murrow
What Men Are Looking For by Steve Sonderman
1.
Relevance - The most important issues for men are their work, family, marriage, sexuality, and finances.
2.
An important cause - Men want to be involved in something driven by a compelling vision.
3.
Greatness - Men want to be heroes. Give them a vision for what they can become.
4.
A challenge - Men are seeking risk, adventure, change, competition, and expansion. Tell them how to find it within the mission of Jesus.
5.
Action - Men want to be active in making a difference. Their desire for adventure is often expressed in the desire to be on the solution side of things.
6.
Leadership - They want to follow a bold, courageous, visionary leader.
7.
Fun - The world is a serious place. Men are looking to laugh and have fun to balance that reality.
8.
Brothers - The church is the place where men should come to see healthy male friendships being modelled. Men need teaching on how to develop and strengthen friendships.
9.
Healing - Men are carrying the burden of wounds, hurts and brokenness that need to be healed.
How Do You Grow Your Men?
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Promise Keepers Survey results confirm that the greatest desire of men in the church is to grow spiritually. The desire is there, but is there a process available in most churches to develop men’s spirituality and to grow men into leaders?
A successful Ministry with Men mobilises men to spiritual growth and builds genuine friendships so that real mission can be accomplished.
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56 50
40
Number of men
The list of “what men are looking for” spells out some key things that men are looking for in their lives. All of those should be available in church but seldom are. Churches need to be able to offer men a pathway from dealing with their brokenness, to training and building them up, to challenge and mission. All this in the context of an engaged, interactive community of men.
MEN’S TOP PRIORITIES
Spiritual growth
30
Relationship with wife
34
20
10
0
Fatherhood/ Balance work/ children home/church
11
10
Handling finances
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Promise Keepers NZ Benchmark Survey of Men’s Ministries
WHAT IS MINISTRY WITH MEN? • Ministry with Men calls and equips men for biblical manhood. • It involves men-only activities, not mixed gender or family activities. • It includes ministry with every man in your church. • It takes 3-5 years to build an effective Ministry with Men. • There is only a 9% likelihood of success if there is no pastor involvement. • Ministry with Men is a BIG deal! • It should be based on the twin pillars of spiritual growth and building friendships, with an outward focus on mission.
Men’s Ministry is not rocket science: it’s harder. Patrick Morley
Goal: Leave No Man Behind • How do you connect every man in the church? • Ministry with Men should be relationship- not program-driven. • Develop a strategy and process to bring men out of isolation and build deeper friendships.
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VISION PURPOSE
PASSION
No purpose > conflict
VISION
STRATEGY
No passion > complacency
SKILLS
GOALS
No vision > confusion
A dynamic Men’s Ministry begins with a clear understanding of what you are trying to achieve. Vision - describes a destination: Where are we going now? Where is our church taking men? Where is God calling us to go? Where is our vision taking us? If you don’t know where you’re going, you might wind up somewhere else. Yogi Berra Where there is no vision, the people perish. Proverbs 29:18
Creating Vision 1. 2. 3.
Gather the key men in your church (including your pastor) to establish your vision. Use the church’s vision as a plumb line for the vision of the Men’s Ministry to align with. Pray - it is critical to listen to God and hear His heartbeat for your ministry.
4.
Is your vision big enough? If your vision doesn’t scare you – it’s too small.
Angus Buchan
5.
Is it compelling?
6. 7.
Brainstorm ideas for the vision. Allow sufficient time to process – remember vision is important and it should propel your Men’s Ministry for up to 5 years. Vision is best written down – everyone is focussed on the same destination, and this also allows you to evaluate progress and be held accountable for it.
8.
If I have learned one thing during my years of Ministry to Men, it’s that men want to be involved in something driven by a compelling vision. Men want to know what hill the church is climbing, where we are going [and] what we are about. Steve Sonderman
Write down the vision and make it plain... so that whoever reads it may run with it. Habakkuk 2:2
Communicating Vision Summarise your vision into a statement that is easy to remember and easy to repeat. Develop a longer statement to flesh out your vision and explain it. You can’t just blow vision all over the church and hope that it will happen. Bill Hybels
Casting Vision Vision needs to be continuously cast. For example, through: term planners; letterheads; notices (written and spoken); messages; conversations, etc. Vision leaks!
Bill Hybels
Checking Vision Vision is your plumb line. Every activity you undertake should be checked against your vision – this helps you avoid going off target. Your vision needs to be checked and reviewed once a year.
Resource Sheet: Inspirational Vision The key to keeping men involved
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STRATEGY PURPOSE
PASSION
VISION
STRATEGY
SKILLS
GOALS
No correct strategy > chaos Once vision has been gained, a realistic, workable strategy must be developed – one that has the power to translate the vision into reality.
How Will We Achieve the Vision? • How will we identify the strategy needed? • How will we implement the strategy? • How will we see our men grow spiritually?
Strategy is Biblical Strategy and strategic planning are all through Scripture: • Nehemiah – building the wall • Moses – spies in the land • Joshua – Battle of Jericho • Jesus – Great Commission
Create/Capture/Sustain Momentum Your strategy needs to link activities together in a way that creates growth. Without a successful strategy, you are in danger of simply filling up the calendar.
Successful Strategy Carefully consider the activities you will put time into - less is more! Strategy is about leverage and is intentional. Does it help you to leave no man behind? A good strategy is measurable, and it should be customised for your Men’s Ministry. Will your strategy create a process/pathway that leads to spiritual growth and building friendships in your men?
Resource Sheets: Starting Point for next year
• Planning Guide for Men’s Ministry Events • Following a Promise Keepers Event - Bringing the Fire Home • Holding a Local Men’s Event to Promote the Promise Keepers Event
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FRIENDSHIP MILESTONES
ACTIVITIES
SPIRITUAL CHARACTERISTICS
MISSION OUTREACH
It’s all about God • Focussed on serving others • Motivated by needs of others • Dying to self
• Mission & ministry • Mission trips • Discipling/fathering next generation in the faith • Leading men’s groups
“Go” (Mark 16:15) • Evangelistic • Fully committed to extending God’s kingdom • Fruitful
BROTHERS
It’s all about others • Loyal, committed • Working together • Role model • Band of brothers
• Men’s Small Groups • Group Bible studies • Discipling/mentoring
“Be with Me” (Mark 3:1314) • Able to receive correction & encouragement • Prepared to be sacrificial • Maturing spiritually
DISCIPLE
It’s all about friends/family • Becoming involved • Getting to know friends’ families • Building deeper friendships
• Promise Keepers Events • Training • Courses • Camps
“Follow Me” (Mark 1:16-17) • Praying for others • Reading Bible regularly • Becoming active in church • Seeking God’s direction
FOLLOWER
It’s all about me • Isolated • Uninvolved • Lacking commitment
• Social activities • Breakfasts • Projects
“Come and see” (John 1:38-39) • Shallow • Passive • Superficial
FRIENDS
ACQ UAINTANCES
LEADER
CONVERT
The Twin Pillars of Men’s Ministry Men’s greatest needs today are to grow spiritually and build real friendships with men who can speak truth into their lives. The Twin Pillars of Men’s Ministry graphic shows how a Ministry with Men can achieve this and fulfil the ultimate purpose of the mission we have been called to do. Certain kinds of activities will produce certain kinds of outcomes. If your Ministry with Men consists of breakfasts and social activities, the result will be a group of men who are acquainted with one another, but have limited opportunities for consistent spiritual input. The value of camps, courses and Promise Keepers Events is that they provide a focused time for men to grow deeper spiritually and begin building genuine friendships. They allow a smooth transition to the next level, which is becoming involved in Men’s Small Groups and mentoring. Here they will become bonded as brothers with other men and grow to be mature disciples of Christ, propelling them towards leadership and mission. The key to the Twin Pillars is that of connection and leverage. How do we connect the activities in our Men’s Ministry in such a way that one level of activity leads to the next? How can we leverage a social event into something deeper? Churches that understand the Twin Pillars will strategically place events and activities one after another, drawing men along a process of deepening friendship and greater spiritual growth.
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TEAM PURPOSE
PASSION
VISION
STRATEGY
SKILLS
GOALS
No skills > confidence crisis Asking one man to lead the Men’s Ministry alone is a recipe for disaster – it needs a committed team.
TEAM
Together
Which roles does our strategy require? • Which skills are needed?
Everyone
• Which men have those skills?
Achieves More
Our Model: Jesus called and trained twelve men. He later sent disciples out two by two.
In the New Testament Church, God “gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists and some to be pastors and teachers”. Ephesians 4:11
Team Size: The size of your team determines the size of your Men’s Ministry. The aim is for the team to represent all the men in the church. It must involve a key man for each area of your strategy.
Team Roles: Roles are vital. Each man on your team needs a clearly defined role. • Pastor • Team Leader • Prayer Leader • Leaders for: Social Activities, Projects, Breakfasts, Promise Keepers Events, Courses & Training, Camps • Men’s Small Group Leader • Mission/Outreach Leader(s) – e.g. Widows & Solos Ministry, Short Term Mission Trips • Youth Pastor/Leader • Administrator
Job Descriptions: Job descriptions are a useful tool. They clarify roles and responsibilities. Resource Sheet: Roles &
Responsibilities Within a Men’s Ministry Team
Team Selection: Selection of the right men is critical. • Prayer is vital in the selection of the right men. Jesus prayed all night before selecting twelve disciples (Luke 6:12-13). Have you prayed and fasted before calling men to this ministry? • Identify the right men. Six guidelines for identifying leaders: 1. Character - Determines how a person will act and react in certain situations. It can be observed in: • Family • Conduct with others • Spiritual disciplines - i.e. Bible study/prayer • Speech • Honesty and loyalty
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2. Competence - Does this person have the skill set for the job? There is much to be said for a willing and teachable spirit. However, if we give someone a role when they do not have the giftings or skills for it, we are setting them up for failure. 3. Chemistry - This is the ability to get along with other people. God has not created us all with the same temperaments, personalities and giftings. It is important that the team honours and utilises each other’s differences and strengths. 4. Capacity - Does this person have the time and the spiritual, emotional and physical strength to meet the demands of Men’s Ministry? The “want-to” and the “can-do” must match up. 5. Calling - It is important that the men you select have been called of God to this ministry. • Do they know that God has called them to Men’s Ministry rather than it simply being a good idea? • Have they been obedient to the things that He has called them to and fulfilled their commitments in the past? 6. Contribution - Results or performance. Does the person have a track record for getting things done?
• Ask them to join your team.
Resource Sheet: How to Identify Leaders for Your Team
GOALS PURPOSE
PASSION
VISION
STRATEGY
SKILLS
GOALS
No goals > completion issues Goals deal with the practical outworking of your vision and strategies and allow you to track their achievement. Goals are measurable, and men want and need things that are measurable: • Men need to see tangible results from their efforts. • Men are built to respond to clear directions. • Men like to be able to look at the balance sheet and/or bottom line. • Men want to identify the steps required on the ladder to success. We need SMART goals:
Specific Measurable Achievable Relevant Timely Goal Evaluation: I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 1 Cor 9:26
• When will we achieve our goals? • When will we complete key tasks? • When will we achieve our vision? • When will we reach our destination?
Goals are dreams with deadlines. Diana Scharf Hunt
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MEN’S SMALL GROUPS Why are Men’s Small Groups important? Why should men be part of one?
Men’s Small Groups Are Important: 1. To bring men out of isolation and build real friendships. 2. To encourage and help one another. Mark 2:1-5 (the paralytic) 3. Men grow spiritually - up to seven times faster. 4. For men to deal with issues relevant to them. 5. For evangelism - men reach men. 6. Jesus was in a group of 12 and a “small group” of 4.
Types of Groups: • Prayer/intercession • Tech/parking/security teams • Training/short courses/study • Support, addictions • Open groups (alcohol, drugs, sexual) • Four wheel drive (closed) groups • Divorce recovery • Sports/business/ministry
Purpose: 1. To know Christ better – spiritual growth 2. To encourage one another – build friendships 3. To help others know Christ – mission
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Start Up Strategies for Closed Groups What: • What is the purpose/goal?
• What should you do? (resource material)
Where and when: • Where are you going to meet?
• When and for how long?
Who should you consider? • Existing friendships
• Shared interests
• In your location/area
• Diverse ideas/culture
Qualities and commitment: • Faithful men – guys who will turn up! • Prepared to pray for others
• Make meeting a top priority • Desire to grow spiritually
• Confidentiality
• Honesty and openness
How to invite others: • Pray. Jesus prayed all night before He selected His disciples. Talk to one man about forming a group with you. • Two men then pray for a third man to join your group. • Then three men pray for a fourth man. • Make sure there is a trial period for the group and a defined exit point after the trial.
Effective Groups 1. Keep focussed 2. Start/finish on time 3. People, not programs
5. Be honest 6. Genuine concern 7. Keep the discussion moving
4. Move slowly
Organising Men’s Small Group Ministry in Churches Oversight Co-ordinator Responsibilities: • Content and resources for groups • Formation and evaluation of groups
• Pastoral care of leaders • Training of leaders
• Administration
Continuing Education Meetings: • Leaders meet together 3 or 4 times each year • Share and pray for each other • Discuss problems encountered in their groups and answer questions • Teach on a leadership-related topic • Encourage and support each other as leaders
Continuing Support: • Timing for forming new groups • Personal invitation culture • Keep publicising • Initiative – encourage men to form groups • Use existing ministry teams as basis for new groups
Resource Sheet: Men’s Small Groups Making Wise Choices
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MINISTRY WITH MEN SURVEY Before you build a ministry to and for your men, you need to know them. The men of each church have different interests, pressures, schedules, incomes and needs. The information you gather will likely be the most valuable planning tool you have. The Survey will give your men ownership because they get in on the ground floor. The process of surveying alerts people to the upcoming Men’s Ministry and builds anticipation. It may also help you identify more men interested in being on the organising team.
The Survey Provides You With: 1. Facts instead of impressions 2. A profile of your men 3. An essential planning tool 4. A benchmark against which you can measure progress
The Promise Keepers Survey Template This Survey has been designed to give a range of information on bio data, interests, experience and personal devotional habits. Promise Keepers recommends that the standard Survey be used because: 1. The questions have been carefully worded and designed. 2. The results can be analysed and benchmarked against averages from other churches and thousands of other responses. 3. Promise Keepers offers a service to collate results and provide the results in multiple graph formats. Refer to the Ministry with Men Survey Instructions for best practice methods to get widespread participation. Please follow these instructions carefully. It is very difficult to re-survey following a failed first attempt with low participation. It is vital to give feedback after the survey has been analysed: • Congregation - short summary of key results in a handout sheet. • Men’s Ministry Leaders - overview all results but focus on areas related to planning. Also work out the reason for any major variations from national averages. This may be a point of difference that you need to cater for.
From Your Surveys: 1. What major themes and issues stood out?
Resource Sheets:
2. Where are the men at spiritually? 3. What steps do we need to put in place to achieve our Men’s Ministry goals?
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• Ministry with Men Survey • Ministry with Men Survey Instructions
MINISTRY WITH MEN STRATEGIC PLANNING TOOL Promise Keepers has developed a two-page Strategic Planning Tool which gives an instant picture of where your Men’s Ministry is currently. It also provides an effective process that will propel your Men’s Ministry into the future. Using the information gained from the Strategic Planning Tool enables your Men’s Ministry to chart a way forward that will strengthen friendships and grow your men spiritually and numerically. It enables you to see interconnections between activities so that maximum leverage can be gained to build success.
How to Get the Most Out of the Strategic Planning Tool: Although we have found men’s needs and issues are remarkably similar everywhere, each church is different and needs a customised pathway to reach its mission of seeing men transformed by the power of God. Promise Keepers will work through the Strategic Planning Tool with you step by step. This tool will give you a clear, consistent pathway to building an effective Ministry with Men in your church. Each stage in the document builds upon the previous one. Working through these stages will enable you to identify potentially weak areas and allow opportunity for recommendations and advice to strengthen those areas. The results of your activities are predictable and the pitfalls are avoidable! Promise Keepers’ guidance will mean success, not surprises. Anything worthwhile requires commitment, perseverance and clear goals.
Resource Sheet: Ministry with Men Strategic Planning Tool
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GET TIN GS TA
CONN EC T I NG M EN
OMENTUM M G IN N I TA S SU
LLY A C I EG T RA T S
ED RT
PLA NN IN G
The Growth Cycle
GROWING LEADER S Promise Keepers New Zealand PO Box 48123, Blockhouse Bay, Auckland 0644 Phone: 09 627 0101 Email: pk@promisekeepers.org.nz Web: www.promisekeepers.org.nz