1 2
PROMOTING
PURPOSE FALL 2013
PROMOTING WHAT GOD HAS ALREADY PLACED IN US . . PURPOSE!
A CALL TO REPENTANCE
RELATIONSHIP TIPS TO CONSIDER
Are You Sincere?
THE SILENT SNIPER:
STRESS
5 WAYS TO COMBAT STRESS
UPROOTING BITTERNESS GET YOUR HOUSE IN ORDER Will You Be Ready When The Lord Comes?
AYO THOMAS Women of Excellence Founder (WOE)
ALSO INSIDE Pastor Vonner Horton Monica Lloyd Deborah Ross & More
PROMOTINGPURPOSE.COM FALL 2013
GOD’S HEALTH PLAN Are You Enrolled?
TRICE, TRACY OR SHARON ~ One or more of these ladies will have a hard pill to swallow…
A LOOK IN THE MIRROR TO SOME AND A CAUTIONARY TALE TO OTHERS
Order your copy today www.promotingpurpose.com
CONTENTS
FALL 2013
8 PASTOR JAMES MINOR PP SPOTLIGHT 9 DEBORAH ROSS MONICA LLOYD 10 CHERI KEAGGY YOLANDA M. STITH LIFESTYLE 12 GET YOUR HOUSE IN ORDER 13 PASTOR VONNER HORTON HEALTH 15 GODS PLAN 17 THE SILENT SNIPER: STRESS SPIRITUALITY 19 THE COMFORT ZONE 20 A CALL TO REPENTANCE 22 UPROOTING BITTERNESS 24 THIS DOESN’T FEEL LIKE VICTORY 25 MEN OF GOD FEATURE 26 CO PASTOR AYO THOMAS RELATIONSHIP 29 RELATIONSHIP TIPS TO CONSIDER
IN EVERY ISSUE Letter from Editor Prayer Ask Dr. Matthis On Cover: Ayo Thomas Guest Writers: Patricia Leigh Michelle Davis-‐ Govan
30 ASK DR. INECIR MATTHIS FINANCE 34 THE B WORD…
PROMOTING PURPOSE MAGAZINE www.promotingpurpose.com
PROMOTING PURPOSE
Promoting What God Has Already Placed In Us… Purpose
FALL 2013 FOUNDER/PUBLISHER Sherrell StrakerValdezloqui VICE PRESIDENT Felix Valdezloqui
LET US PROMOTE YOUR
PURPOSE
STAFF WRITERS EMPOWERMENT Daniel Duval RELATIONSHIP Dr. Inecir Matthis BIBLE STUDY Rachel Moore FINANCE Gregory Wayne Covington 11 INSPIRATION Sherrell Straker-Valdezloqui CONTRIBUTORS Patricia Leigh Michelle Davis- Govan Deborah Hightower ADMINISTRATION TEAM EDITING COMPANYTiff’s Editing Café PUBLIC RELATIONS Cheryl Patterson @ Universal Xperience BUSINESS MANAGER Corretta Allison @ The A List Inc. RESEARCHER Rachel Moore
Websites: www.promotingpurpose.com www.authorswithapurpose.com
PROMOTING PURPOSE.COM Sherrell StrakerValdezloqi www.promotingpurpose.com AUTHORS WITH A PURPOSE ACTING EDITOR- IN- CHIEF Carol Grayson EDITORIAL DIRECTOR Sherrell StrakerValdezloqui www.authorswithapurpose.com Promoting Purpose Magazine is a print/online publication of Promoting Purpose LLC.
PRINTED IN THE U.S.A This magazine can not be reproduced or printed without the consent of Promoting Purpose/Sherrell Valdezloqui
4 PROMOTING PURPOSE FALL 2013
EDITOR’S LETTER
BACK TO THE FOUNDATION “Your foundation determines how long you will stand.”
W
ow, can you believe there’s only 3 months left in this year? Time has gone by
so fast. This issue is our 3rd anniversary issue of being in existence. Since starting Promoting Purpose Magazine (PPM), I must admit there have been lots of trials and tests. Within the three years of Promoting Purpose I’ve experienced talking and interviewing awesome Men and Women of God to include gospel celebrities and more. I have experienced both God ideas and Good ideas for this publication. The good ideas for this publication have lead me in circles for several months with frustration and wondering why certain things never worked out. The God ideas, after finally getting tired of the good ideas, has opened up some amazing doors and brought forth several testimonials of how this publication has spoken to the hearts of many. I said all of that to say, whatever God has called you to do, ensure that no matter what, you are sticking to the foundation. There are plenty of good ideas, but it is God ideas that will allow your ministry, personal life and business to flourish. Flourishing may not happen over night, but patience and obedience will mold you and prepare you for the season in which you can pick and enjoy what was planted. I thank God for those of you who read a copy of this publication and those who pray. Thanking god for the staff and those whom God will send in the future as well. I challenge you to answer your calling, and when you do; your purpose will become clearer. Continue to spread the word about us and remember you/we can do all things through Christ Jesus!
Dear Lord, Thank you for the opportunity you have given PPM staff, to minister to the world through anointed articles and features. Lord this month we sense the brutal attacks the enemy is placing on marriages, finances and even faith. We ask that you protect your people and breathe life back into the marriages that you have brought together. Lord we ask that you touch the minds of those who are contemplating suicide. We ask Lord that you send forth-true leaders in these last days that we are living in. We ask that those who you have raised up receive a renewing of strength so that they may remain humble and obedient to you. We thank you Lord for the move that you are about to make in the lives of many. We declare victory in Jesus Name…. Amen
Sherrell Straker-Valdezloqui Sherrell Straker-Valdezloqui Editor-in- Chief 7 PROMOTING PURPOSE FALL 2013
“I want to minister to those who have been healed, but still dealing with remnants of hurt”
PASTOR JAMES MINOR
Born in Natchez, Mississippi, James M. Minor was a church boy. His life has always been dedicated to the church. With no violent history, his prevailing testament to God’s Amazing Grace is sure to reach and impact the lives of many! In 1982 at Copiah Lincoln Junior College, James met an incredible woman that would change his life forever, Alisa Fitzgerald. By the summer of 1984 they were married. Today they have two children, Christopher & Jamesila ; a daughter- in- law, Jessica and wonderful granddaughter, Finley Christina. In 1988 the family relocated to Atlanta, GA, and in 1991 began to seek out a church home. After finding that family oriented worship experience at Zion Missionary Baptist Church, readily they became active leaders in the Body of Christ. November 3, 1996 changed the course of the Minors’ lives again drastically. After several years of serving as Chairman of the Deacon Board; James surrendered to the mandate on his life, and astonishingly one month later under the leadership of Bishop C.D. Gearing Jr. he was licensed to preach. Immediately, he found the opportunity to exercise his ministry by joining forces with the church’s Prison Ministry, New Members Orientation, and One Flesh Ministry (Married Couples) where he ministered and provided spiritual counseling. While for some there may be difficulty in the catapult from Deacon to Minister to Pastor, but for James Minor it was the ordained transitions for his life. On June 8, 1996 he founded True Christ Outreach Ministries in Norcross, GA. Pastor Minor pressed upon his vision to teach the Word in a manner that all will be able to understand, knowing that without doubt that the Will of God for all is to have abundant life on earth and to have everlasting life. As a result of his diligence to the work in the ministry; whole-heartedly charismatic preaching and teaching, in December 2011, he earned an Honorary Doctor of Divinity Degree from The School of the Great Commission Seminary & Bible Institute of Georgia. Now ready to take the Good News to the nation, he is prepared, equipped, and well-appointed.
8 PROMOTING PURPOSE FALL 2013
PP SPOTLIGHT MONICA LlOYD LIVING LIFE ON PURPOSE
www.monicalloyd.net Monica D. Lloyd author of Living Life On Purpose is a woman with a “Teaching Anointing”, bringing about clarity of God’s Word to the Body of Christ. She is purposed to feed those who are willing to eat. As Jesus asked Peter; “lovest thou me” and his reply was “yes”, Elder Monica’s response is the same as she follows the instructions then given, “Feed My Sheep”. Being in ministry for many years she has discovered that serving others is needful for growth and development in the things of Christ.
DEBORAH ROSS DEBORAH ROSS MINISTRIES
www.deborahrossministries.org Deborah Ross is on a mission to STRENGTHEN FAMILIES, ENCOURAGE FAITH and PREACH THE GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST! Deborah's passion is to seek God's anointing, enabling her to minister with a "Contagious Faith"... a faith that resonates deep within the hearts of desperate humanity. Imparting Biblical truths, mixed with personal testimony, Deborah's transparent delivery brings captive audiences into worship as both laughter and tears testify to the sentiment of God's message.
HIDDEN IDENTITIY “UNTOLD STORIES OF PASTORS WIVES” BY: TIMEKO WHITAKER
Ten pastors’ wives answered God’s call to share their stories on these pages, granting women all over the world much more than a glimpse into their secret struggles, tucked away, hidden deep within the recesses of their hearts. Some of these women never revealed their adversity and pain to anyone until now, suffering in silence behind the mask that comes with the role of a pastor’s wife. Order your copy at: www.amazon.com/-/e/B00CN3DSX8 Reading the word on a daily basis helps keep a healthy armored spirit…. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Ephesians 6: 10-17
9 PROMOTING PURPOSE FALL 2013
CHERI KEAGGY SO I CAN TELL www.cherikeaggy.com Beginning as a worship leader at a small church in Southern California, Cheri has ministered through music and testimony for twenty years. Her debut album, Child of the Father, was released to rave reviews in 1994 earning her a Dove Award nomination for New Artist of the Year. Eight albums, nine Number One songs, three Dove Award nominations and a Dove Award win later, Cheri Keaggy is recognized as a mainstay in the adult contemporary and inspirational genres, and songs like “There is Joy in the Lord’ and “In Remembrance of Me” are sung in churches worldwide. Likewise, the songs she’s written for her children have made her a favorite at women’s events. Often with her Bible and journal close at hand, Cheri takes a teachable approach to life, looking for the lesson in every experience. “If God can use our challenges and heartaches to build character that makes us more effective for the Kingdom, than that’s what I want. He can use me however He sees fit.” Penned following the end of her nearly 23-year marriage to her high school sweetheart, So I Can Tell is a testimony of God's goodness in the midst of pain and suffering. Like a modern day psalmist,Keaggy's lyrics express grief, loneliness, and God's comfort in the contemporary hymns "Bind Me To You," "There Will Be One Day" and the arresting "Hello, God." She echoes the apostle Paul in the memorable piano ballad "To Live is Christ" and celebrates Christ's provision in the ukulele-based crowd favorite "Air, Food, and Water."
YOLANDA M. STITH www.thekingdominternational.com Senior Leader of Kingdom Church International, located in Baltimore MD. She has been called to articulate God's truths and to raise up servant leaders in ministry and the marketplace. Her formal training includes a degree in Biblical Studies, formal prophetic training from the “School of the Prophets”, a bachelor’s degree in Grief and Addiction Counseling from GLADD Institute of Nouthetic Counseling. In January 2011, her doctorate in Divinity was conferred upon her by Higher Place University. Currently, she is pursuing her Doctorate in Ministry.
10 PROMOTING PURPOSE FALL 2013
GET YOUR HOUSE IN ORDER If you have been living for the Lord for any length of time you have probably heard the statement, “Saints get ready because the Lord is soon to come.” Many others have heard these very statements yet it has fallen on deaf ears, having very little effect on the conscience. However, we as believers in the Most High must know and believe that the Lord is soon to come but the question is; will you be ready? There are a few things that you can do in order to make sure you are ready when the Bridegroom comes for his Bride. • Make sure that you have obtained the proper method of salvation according to the scripture. Things such as confessing with your mouth, giving the preacher your hand, and even saying the sinner’s prayer (although these are great starting points) does not bring complete salvation. Just as Jesus told Nicodemus, “You MUST be born again,” of the water and of the spirit. Without these vital components, you won’t enter or see the kingdom of God. For further study please read the following: Matthew3:6-11, John3:1-7, Acts2:1-4;15-17;37-41, Acts10:34-48. • Perilous times are all around us and many are losing hope but God has set us to be lights in this dark and dreary world. We must let our light shine so that those who are lost can have an opportunity to experience Christ just as we have. However, if our light is hidden who then can see Christ in our lives? Never forget what the Lord has done; but more importantly never forget to share this good news with others. • Take the time to study the Word of God for yourself. We are in a time where too many of us are having itching ears, indicating that God is trying to guide them but instead are following all sorts of ungodly teachings and practices simply because we aren’t studying the Word of God as we are instructed to (2 Timothy4:3-4). How can we know the tactics of the enemy, how can we know who is teaching and preaching truth if we never take the time to see if their words are true? Don’t allow energetic sermons and hyped up singing get you off focus. When the doors shut to the building, then the Word that is in your heart is the thing that will keep you; especially in the age that we are living in (Paslm119:11).
If there is sin in the camp (in your life), repent! Any sin that is hidden, not dealt with, or anything in your life that God frowns upon because it is controlling you, will eventually separate you from God (James1:1416). Remember the pleasures of sin only last for a moment and when sin is finished it brings forth death! Because we are not robots, we have a free will to choose; but what payment are you prepared to receive? Ask yourself, “Will my actions, thoughts, and behaviors cause me to lose my soul?” • Be aware of the tactics of the enemy (2 Corinthians2:11). His plans are to kill, steal and destroy by any means and he will not stop until he takes you out and ultimately take you to hell with him (John10:10)! The enemy that we are fighting isn’t made of flesh and neither should our weapons of warfare be. We MUST put and keep on the full armor of God that we may be able to fight against the attacks of the devil. Please brothers and sisters continue to press toward the mark that we may obtain our final reward. Many are losing faith and are throwing in the towel. Think about what you have prayed for, believed for, and even fasted for; if you give up now then all will be lost. In getting the house in order, you have to do some soul searching and even more than that, we have to have the prayer of King David “search my heart oh God,… if there be any wicked way in me, take it out of me that I may be like you.” By: Rachel Moore
Rachel Moore is the advisor and staff writer for Promoting Purpose Magazine. Her religious view: The church is not something that you attend just on Sunday and Wednesday. It’s a part of who you are! The Body of Christ (the true believers) is the Church not the location
12 PROMOTING PURPOSE FALL 2013
VONNER HORTON ON BROKEN PIECES MINISTRIES www.onbrokenpiecesministries.com VONNER G. HORTON also known as “Vonner G” is a pastor, teacher, author, national evangelist, inspirational figure, popular personality but most importantly a…woman of God. Transcending socioeconomic and denominational barriers, her powerful message of hope for all but mainly the female population vibrates the emotion of change, transformation, along with physical and spiritual healing. With a faith undaunted by the task at hand, this mother, humanitarian and beloved mentor is also the Senior Pastor of New Oxley Hill Baptist Church in Merry Hill, North Carolina, a non-traditional church with a multicultural mission. A gifted exhorter and motivator, the core of Vonner’s message is “delivering spiritual truths that transforms lives”.
Why God Why? What To Do When Life Doesn't Make Sense, by author, Bible teacher, and speaker Karen Jensen. The book, Jensen's debut from Charisma House, details her experience following the sudden death of her husband and how she moved past the pain to live in God's love and abundance. When Jensen's 37-year-old husband, Brent, died suddenly, the mother of two sons had questions. In Why God Why?, Jensen writes about her personal experience, the questions she asked and what happened next. The book is designed to give hurting people hope, help them move from doubting God to believing Him, and get past the pain to a life of purpose and joy. "I'm so excited to share what God has done for me in the midst of heartache, and what He absolutely wants to do for others as well," says Jensen. "You may have heard people say, 'Don't question God,' but I don't agree with that. He already knows you're asking the questions in your head. You can't scare Him—He's heard them all before! Besides, He loves you. He's your Father, so ask Him! The book serves as a guide through the process of asking questions and then moving past the pain. "It's about changing your thinking and letting God love you," says Jensen. "It's about hope, and reclaiming your life!" Available at major retailers, including Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million and Amazon. For more information about Jensen and Why God Why?, visit karenjensen.org or WhyGodWhyBook.com.
13 PROMOTING PURPOSE FALL 2013
HEALTH
God’s Health Plan The state of our health is intimately connected to God and His dealings with mankind. God's health laws govern how the physical world in which we live interacts with our human body. When we are at our optimal health we are ultimately better servants for Him. God has provided us with an 'owners manual' that tells us how to operate the human body. That manual is the Bible, which contains instructions for proper health maintenance.
God's word reveals many basic principles for good physical, mental and spiritual health. The foundational key is found in Proverbs 3:1-2, 8 where God tells us to "not forget what I teach you. Always remember what I tell you to do. My teaching will give you a long and prosperous life. If you do, it will be like good medicine, healing your wounds and easing your pains." We should not be surprised that obedience to God's commandments and other laws promote good health. When we obey them, we operate in accordance with His instructions. When we are at our optimal health we are ultimately better servants for Him. As our Creator, God knows what's best for us. It is through the scriptures that we discover the whole issue of health, healing and spirituality from God's point of view. To seek the truth in all areas of our lives is of vital importance or we will eventually face the consequences of our uninformed decisions. God has already established health laws and principles that will lead to our good. All we have to do is seek, and we will find the truth. To gain a comprehensive understanding of God's perspective on the subject of health, we must go back to creation. Let us start where the designer and creator of the earth started, in Genesis 1:1, "In the beginning". In verse 26, God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness". We share the same elements of the earth and were created to have a relationship with both our environment and our Creator. In Genesis 2:15, Adam and Eve were given a responsibility to care for the garden. Likewise, we have a personal responsibility to care for our health.
The Apostle Paul reiterates this fact in 1 Corinthians 6:1920 where he states, "Do you not know that your body is the temple (the very sanctuary) of the Holy Spirit Who lives within you, Whom you have received [as a Gift] from God? You are not your own. You were bought with a price [purchased with a preciousness and paid for, made His own]. So then, honor God and bring glory to Him in your body." The temple of Israel was where God dwelt among His people; a Holy place, set apart for God's purposes and presence. Likewise our bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit. We are the temples. God paid a great price for us with the life and death of His son. We are therefore bought with the precious blood of Jesus Christ. The neglect and abuse of our body ultimately hinders how effectively we can serve the Lord. We often think we have the right to do whatever we want with our own bodies. Although we think this is freedom, we are really enslaved to our own desires. There are things, which still cling to the walls of our hearts and interfere with the work of the Holy Spirit within our spirits. When we become Christians, the Holy Spirit fills and lives in us. As a result, our selfish desires shift to what God desires for us and we give up a lot of unhealthy habits. Our bodies have been set apart for God's Holy Spirit to live in. Because of this, we are not to treat our bodies like they were given to us merely for our own personal use. Just as when we borrow a friend's property, whether it is their car, clothes, etc; we typically take great care not to damage their property.
15 PROMOTING PURPOSE FALL 2013
We have a responsibility to try to live healthy. That responsibility is not only for our individual good, but extends outside of ourselves. Our choices affect our children, spouses, friends, community and calling. We as Christians are here to be an example to the rest of the world. We bring honor and glory to Him when we show that God's health laws are equally as effective as His spiritual laws. God does not force us to comply with His principles of health any more than he forces us to do anything else. He's already provided the necessary keys to good health. It is our choice to obey the Lord, follow His plan and reap the resulting benefits. Take the necessary steps to do your part to stay healthy. Experience the benefits of applying right health principles and see the results.
We realize it does not belong to us. It is merely a loan and must be returned in the condition it was received. Likewise, the same care and attention should be given to our bodies, which is Christ's temple. Good health is something we often take for granted – until we start to lose it. When our health takes a downturn, we quickly begin to question our habits and diet. God has designed the human body as a finely tuned instrument that is the most resilient on earth. It can endure fractures, constant pain and great stretches of dreariness. However, the body is a fragile instrument and is not built to handle excess, whether in the form of nourishment, fuel or additives. Though the body is made of moving, feeling and thinking parts, it still can be misused. If we utilize God's established health laws as the primary tool for our well being and combine the help provided by trained healthcare providers, we can expect good health. In the instances we find ourselves exceeding the limits of His health laws, He is fully capable of backing up His plan with supernatural health. Hebrews 1:3 tells us that God "upholds ALL things by His own power". When we honor God's health laws and principles, He supports our very effort. This is true even when we have surpassed His protective boundaries that were place for our good. We are instructed in James 1:25 that God is much more inclined to intervene when we are busy DOING what He says. As we study the Scripture, we learn that those who follow God will generally be healthy. However, that does not mean that those who don't follow God will always be sick. Neither does it mean that God's people will be absolutely free of disease. Unfortunately, disease exists as a direct result of Adam's sin, and even the most righteous may suffer. After all, Job was a perfect and upright man, but God ALLOWED him to suffer disease and hardship. John prayed in 3 John 1:2, "that you prosper in every way and that your body may keep well, even as your soul keeps well and prospers". God too is concerned for both our body and our souls.
Let our prayer today be as follows: Lord, help me check today and every day the state of your temple. Help me clean out the habits of my life with which I've grown comfortable. Lord, help me make room for you. Amen.
About the writer: Patricia Leigh is a licensed Physician Assistant currently practicing medicine in Metro-Atlanta, Georgia. She is a graduate of the University of Kentucky, College of Allied Health Science Physician Assistant Program. She has served in the fields of Internal Medicine, Family Medicine, Cardiology and Emergency Medicine. For more healthy living tips visit “The Healthy Me” page at www.iampatricialeigh.com.
16 PROMOTING PURPOSE FALL 2013
THE SILENT SNIPER: STRESS We are under attack! The enemy has come in cloaked and in stealth mode. It is so cunning that we have almost embraced the enemy as part of our normal lifestyle. This enemy has strained relationships, caused businesses to fail, affected our health and caused ministries not to flourish. The enemy I speak of is called STRESS! Stress has become the epidemic of the 21st century. That is not the way God has intended for us to live. God said in John 10:10 that, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (NIV) Living a stressful lifestyle is not part of the abundant life or living to the full. The question you must ask is, how is this enemy or thief using stress to steal, kill and destroy my life? The term stress has many definitions. Here is a definition that I like, “Stress is our physical, emotional and behavioral reaction any demand or change that we believe challenges our resources or capacity to cope. It is a primitive, involuntary response to a threat imagined or real.” Stress is also a term used in construction to measure the breaking or stress point on a beam. In engineering, it is the force per unit area that tends to deform the body on which it is applied. Now, we are using that same word, stress, to describe what our bodies are experiencing when under pressure. Let’s take a closer look at stress, how it affects us and what God says about it. Stress 101. There are two types of stress, good stress and bad stress. Eustress is the proper term for describing good stress. Good stress occurs when you are competing in sports, planning a wedding or even moving (depending on your perspective). This type of stress will decrease once the event has been completed, but what about bad or chronic stress? How is that going to affect your life?
Stress actually has many tentacles and can affect your finances, health, work productivity and more if it is not addressed. Our society has accepted the hamster in the wheel lifestyle as the way it should be. From the time we get up until the time we retire, we are constantly running. How do you think that is affecting your overall health, family time, work performance, etc. The question is, “Why are we so stressed anyway?” God told us to cast our cares on Him for He cares for us. (I Peter 5:7) Casting your cares on the Lord involves trusting and trading of your present anxious thoughts with thoughts of Him, of His love, His care, His character and His sure promises. Worry, fear, and stress – these are things we are not designed to carry. They are things that will kill our bodies over time. So it would benefit us greatly to learn how to do what God says to do and then to actually DO IT; and one of those things is to cast our cares on Him! Philippians 4:6-8 – Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything but in every circumstance and in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving continue to make your requests known to God. In return, God’s peace which surpasses all comprehension, and will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus. If we are living a stressful life, we are not experiencing peace that God has for us. In Matthew 6:25-34 New International Version 25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life [a]? 28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon, in all his splendor, was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow, is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. As a certified stress management coach, verse 27 is one that stood out to me. Worrying or being stressed cannot add a single hour to your life, however it can rob you of your life.
17 PROMOTING PURPOSE FALL 2013
Continuation
5
HERE ARE
WAYS TO BEGIN
TO COMBAT STRESS: 1.
Pray and meditate daily! God wants to hear your concerns. He has a Helper ready to assist you with whatever you need.
2.
Transfer your trust. You only have confidence in someone to help you if you trust and know them. Develop your relationship with God. He won’t fail you like man will.
3.
4.
Properly take care of your temple. Eat right, exercise, and get proper rest. Learn the art of letting go! Whatever was in your past, it’s gone. Plant the seeds today for the future you want tomorrow. Whatever you can’t control let it go and only focus on the areas you can change.
5. Stress is an enemy like the others; that’s already Take time for yourself. It is not selfish to want to spend time by yourself. It actually is necessary. If my car is on E, it can’t take me anywhere. If I am on E, I can’t help my family, friends, ministry or co-workers. Schedule in some “self - full” time!
defeated! We need to remind stress that is has no power or victory over us! Michelle Davis-Govan
Scriptures Concerning Healing Psalms 103:1-4 NKJV) Bless the LORD, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name! {2} Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: {3} Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, {4} Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with loving-kindness and tender mercies (Proverbs 3:7-8 NKJV) Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and depart from evil. {8} It will be health to your flesh, And strength to your bones. (Psalms 30:2 NKJV) O LORD my God, I cried out to You, And You healed me. (Psalms 147:3 NKJV) He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.
18 PROMOTING PURPOSE FALL 2013
Spirituality
The Comfort Zone Our attitude toward whatever we go through not only shows our willingness to let the Lord have his way in our lives, but also can determine how long our season will last. If our attitude and mindset is negative it will make the process longer. But if we can have an attitude of thankfulness and humility, then God will honor that. In our season we have to be willing to be obedient to the voice of the Lord. If He tells us it’s time to tear down, to get rid of, or to separate from, we must obey. Will we like the fact that the Lord has told us these things? Probably not! But we must remember that all things work together for good! God is the potter, we are the clay and His ways are not our ways. In ourselves we may want to hold on to some things but God may be saying otherwise. Not listening to the voice of the Lord will keep us from getting the true healing, deliverance and breakthrough that we desire. If we are willing to yield to the plan of the Most High then our seasons of hurt, pain, and disappointment will pass. In due time, we will walk in seasons of victory, triumph, and blessings but we must wait on the Lord, hold to his promises and watch them come to pass! For so long we’ve been accepting and adapting to the things we feel are comfortable to us. For example, they are the home we live in, the car we drive, the people we associate with, and the job we report to almost every day. This is also true on a spiritual level. We accept where we are instead of digging deeper because we are comfortable. We’re satisfied inside our little box of daily Bible reading, praying, going to church, singing in the choir or ushering. We rely on the Pastors’ Sunday morning message and most times never research for ourselves what was being preached. We testify quickly, but only to those we know are going to cosign or agree with us. We do minister, but only to those who are already saved and know the Word. All the while we believe we have fulfilled our requirement as Christians. Living Christ-like is more than saying, “I love you,” to everyone, or going to church every time the church doors are open. I consider this the comfort and safety zone. My question is: Are you really living a Christ-like life?
In studying the life of Christ and his journey, we find that he prayed, worshiped and sang to the glory of God. He did this daily. This was his comfort and safety zone. When the time came for him to step out of his comfort zone, Christ ministered and prophesized to those who received him and to those that rebuked and hated him. He traveled outside of his hometown to minister, heal, raise the dead and show love to everyone. Christ knew he would be sent to places in which he would be hated yet he pressed forward and planted the seed of the gospel in all who would listen. The more Christ was pulled out of his comfort zone the more lives he touched along the way. Jesus took the ultimate step outside of his comfort and safety zone. He bared his cross. He fulfilled his purpose and freed many souls. Because Christ stepped out of his comfort and safety zone we are able to ask for forgiveness and receive eternal life. So I ask, “Are you really living a Christ-like life? Are you ready to take that big step of leaving THE COMFORT ZONE this year?” By: Sherrell Straker-Valdezloqui
19 PROMOTING PURPOSE
FALL 2013
A
CALL TO REPENTANCE
In traditional churches, the only time you may hear the words repent or repentance is during “altar call”. For many saints this is the only time we associate repentance 1.When a sinner decides to give their life to the Lord. 2. When a believer experiences a wave of remorse and comes to the altar. Yet, in many cases these individuals fail to see that true repentance is a turning away from sin and making a decision daily to follow Christ. The words repent and repentance is mentioned sixtynine times throughout the bible from Genesis to Revelation. Since the fall of man, individuals and nations of people have done things that have been contrary to the Word of God. God in his mercy gave those people and nations time to repent, some did. However, many chose to turn away from the Lord, to harden their hearts toward Him and to become lifted in pride. As a result some were given over to their enemies (2Kings24), others suffered all manner of plagues and diseases (Exodus7, 8, 9, 10, and 12), and many were destroyed (1 Chronicles21, Isaiah 42:2). The Lord is not willing that any perish but that all come to repentance (2 Peter3:9). There are two types of repentance: 1. I call it the “I got busted repentance”- this surface repentance results because you feel shameful, embarrassed, or surprised that someone has found out what you have been doing. You quickly say “I’m sorry” either to that person or even to the Lord but within a short time return to doing the same things that you did before. Why? Because with this type of repentance you really had no intentions of turning away from your actions. You only apologized because you got busted! How many times have we seen the Word come forth, people flood the altar, crying and asking the Lord to forgive them claiming they’ll never do it again? Yet as soon as that wave passes, they are back to the same mindset and actions. This hinders our spiritual growth because we expect God to do all these wonderful things for us yet, we keep sin and wrongdoing in our lives. This type of repentance is NOT pleasing to the Lord but I would imagine stinks pretty bad before him.
2. I call this the “Psalm 51 repentance”- this repentance is contrite (deep sorrow for actions and behaviors), humble and broken. You see yourself as a filthy mess and acknowledge that the Lord is the ONLY one who can clean your heart and mind (Romans7:15-25). You confess your sin (not because you got busted) because you know confession is good for the soul. You want to be transformed and renewed in your mind and take the necessary steps to remove any and all things that have separated you from the Lord (Romans12:2). You count the cost of your life and know that if you stay on your current path, you will be lost and therefore you choose to follow the Lord (Deuteronomy30:16-19, Joshua24:15). With true repentance, you don’t have to wait until someone exposes you but you allow the Lord to deal with you directly. This type of repentance is lifechanging because it allows the old man to die so that the new man can live! What should we repent of? • Hidden SinHidden sin is anything that you are doing in secret that you think no one knows about. With hidden sin you have to be sneaky because you know if someone finds out what you are doing they would disapprove. This is complete bondage. With hidden sin, we fail to realize that the eyes of the Lord are everywhere beholding the good and the evil (Proverbs15:3). God gives us time to repent and if these hidden sins aren’t exposed, confessed and cast down, then the Lord himself will exposes us and the outcome is never good.
20 PROMOTING PURPOSE
FALL 2013
Continuation A CALL TO REPENTANCE
Wrath, hatred, malice, unforgiveness, prejudice, and lust are also hidden sin. Remedy: Pray for a clean heart and a clean mind. When our hearts and minds become clean, everything else will fall into place. Victory or defeat is in our minds if we hide things and don’t repent, then the enemy will be there to keep you defeated. Study Psalm51; Psalm 139:23-24, Psalm 141:4, Jeremiah17:9-10 * Past Sin that are still lingeringWhen we gave our life to Christ and took on His name through baptism we were made into new creatures. This is an awesome thing knowing that the blood of Jesus has washed and cleansed us! But what happens when we don’t give all past sin to the Lord? Just like bad cells and waste within the human body if they are not eliminated, they can cause all kinds of infections, tumors, and deadly diseases. When this happens, it takes strong medicine and in some cases surgical procedures to remove. The same thing happens to us spiritually and emotionally as well. The longer you hold on, the sicker you become. If Christ came to set us free then why be bound? Remedy: Understand that whom the Son sets free is free indeed. Let go of past hurt, past sin, learn to forgive others and to forgive yourself as well. If we are not mindful of these things, then the enemy will attempt to take us back to the old man and his deeds. Study Mark 2:21-22, John8:36, 2 Corinthians5:17 1. Going along with false teachings, false prophecies and those who commit sinWhen we choose to go after false teachers, false prophets and those who commit sin, we bring danger to our own souls. Not only is the Lord going to judge those who operate in falseness and sin but will also punish those who choose to follow them (Romans1:2132). But how can we know whose speaking truth and whose speaking lies? How can we know what sin is? Remedy: Develop a personal relationship with the Lord, study His word (for it is our instruction manual) and pray for truth to be revealed. The enemy can’t dupe you with going along with falseness if you are in true relationship. Be willing to stand for truth and repent of any falseness that you may be engaging in or going along with.
1 Timothy 4:1-3- Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; Forbidding to marry, [and commanding] to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth. 2Timothy4:3-4- For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away [their] ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables. For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. 2 Corinthians7:10 (NKJV). Seek true repentance and live. God bless Rachel Moore
21 PROMOTING PURPOSE
FALL 2013
UPROOTING BITTERNESS My entire body was engaged in the moment. The sun was starting to set and I could feel the sweat dripping from my brow. In no way would I allow my enemy to have victory over me. I stood there for a moment, snarling at my beaten opponent. I was not going to hold back. No, not this time. Not after all of the battling, endless fighting, and useless attempts at alternative methods. I dropped the shovel and picked up my axe. With fire in my eyes I was determined to finish the job, right here, right now. With my enemy at my feet, I lifted the axe and brought it down with all my might. I could feel it passing through, leaving me with a surprising sense of relief. It was over. It is incredible what people are capable of when under the sway of bitterness. I will be the first to admit that I have done certain things I am not so proud of when under its influence. As a matter of fact, some of the things I have done may be considered downright despicable. It's not just me though. Be honest with yourself. What have you done under the sway of bitterness that you know wasn't right? Have you set out to destroy the lives of others? Have you sabotaged opportunities? Have you verbally assaulted those around you? Maybe you've even physically abused your spouse or children? This is what the Bible reveals about the root of bitterness: "Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled." (Hebrews 12:15) God recently brought me a fresh perspective regarding the root of bitterness. As a matter of fact, He used the experience that I opened this article with to do it. What sounds like a scene out of a horror movie really has a very practical explanation. I'm not attempting to excuse my actions, but I will do my best explain. I bought a new house last autumn. Now that the winter has passed it's time for the infamous "honey-do" lists. For the record, I am not a fan of these terrible things and frankly, my wife became somewhat ambitious and drove me to the point of no return. So there I was, perplexed, trying to figure out how in the world to remove three giant bushes from the front of my house! I tried to argue my way out of it and make a case for the futility of the effort, but all was to no avail. Furthermore, the only tool I had was a five dollar shovel that we bought on sale. Thank God for my neighbor who was willing to loan me an axe and pneumatic saw before I got started! With these tools it brought the undertaking into the realm of possibility, but it turned into a long and arduous process.
The first step was to deal with the bushes themselves. I had to cut the branches out of the way piece-by-piece until I had cut enough away to gain access to the stump. This took some time, but the pneumatic saw really sped things up. That is, however, until I got near the base of the bushes and realized that their stumps were too thick for the pneumatic saw! My only option was the back-breaking work of chopping away at them with the axe. Mind you, these stumps were thick. I'm talking diameters of six to ten inches! It was like chopping down a not-so-small tree...three times in a row. I finally managed to chop down all of the bushes and haul them to my tree lawn. The problem was that the bush stumps still remained, and my wife had other plans for that space! So there I was, back outside the next day, still sore, trying to figure out how I was going to remove three bush stumps with a five dollar shovel and an axe. Not the ideal situation, but where there is a will there is a way. In this case, my wife provided all the will that I needed to get moving! As soon as I got a couple inches underground I struck part of the root system that was used by the stump. These exist to absorb nutrients from the dirt and provide life force to the entire plant. As you can imagine, it didn't break without a fight. I had to dig around it, expose it, and then strike it with the axe. It wouldn't have been so bad if there were only two of three of these, but there were dozens. As I continued digging what seemed to be a bottomless hole in front of my house I had to keep repeating the process of digging around the large roots to expose them. To make a long story short, when I got to that third bush and put the axe through the final root, it was a great sense of relief! The moral of the story is that getting free of bitterness often comes about through a similar process. First we have to remove what's above the ground and cut it off with our sword which is the word of God (Ephesians 6:17). This will expose the stump. The reason the Bible refers to the root of bitterness is because the true source of this issue is often hidden beneath the surface. It maintains tremendous strength and resiliency due to an extensive root system, drawing its life force from all of the dirt in our lives. Dealing with bitterness can be like going through spiritual surgery, as often the Lord will take us from one root to another, severing them with His word, in order to get the whole stump out of there. The good news is that, however painful or back-breaking the process is, the relief that comes at the end always makes it worth it. Let go and let God! By: Daniel Duval 22 PROMOTING PURPOSE
FALL 2013
THIS DOESN’T FEEL LIKE VICTORY They confidently walked out as briskly as they walked in. One of them was carrying the cashier. As they neared their vehicle two squad cars pulled up. In this short story we are at a juncture. A crime has been committed, money has been stolen, and an unfortunate woman has been abducted. What the robbers didn’t expect was such a prompt response from law enforcement. In that particular area, police response times were notoriously slow.
Let’s be real. Consider all of the Christians you know and then think about all of the problems that they have. Is it overwhelming? What about you? How many areas of life do you feel that you are losing the battle? Do you have anxiety? Are you overweight? Do you have poor self-esteem? Is it possible that you have issues you can’t even define? Life is hard. The frustrating part is when the Bible suggests that we have victory over all of these things. First Corinthians 15:57 clearly reads, “But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” The Bible not only says that God gives us the victory, but that our faith is the victory that actually overcomes the world! “For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith (1 John 5:4).” This is powerful stuff, but how does it work? In order to properly illustrate the answer to this question we are going to utilize a short fictional story.
It all began on a peaceful night in a bad neighborhood. The local convenience store was getting ready to close when five men wearing masks briskly walked inside. They were big, they were menacing, and they were all carrying guns. “Open the drawer! Give us the money!” It was a short conversation as five guns went up in the air and all pointed at a single target—the cashier. She was terrified. What they didn’t know was that she had seen them walking up. Before they opened the door, the hidden alarm was pressed. She cooperated, feeling as though she would pass out at any moment. It is so much easier to watch this on television, she thought. If just one of them slipped on the trigger she would be severely hurt, or worse, she would die. What if they kidnap me and do unmentionable things, she continued to ponder. She opened the drawer, hands shaking, and emptied the money into the brown paper bag. As she was putting the money in the bag, one of the men came around and stood right next to her. When the drawer was empty, she felt a hard hit to the base of her skull. Everything went black.
Police have what is known as authority. When a crime has been committed, they have the authority to enforce justice, make arrests, and restore law and order. Does this happen just because they show up? No. When they show up they must enforce justice. To be more straightforward about it, we can say that justice must be “forced.” The criminals will try to get away with what they are doing. They may open fire, they may get in the car and try to elude the police, or they may scatter and run in five directions. Regardless of what they do, it is a guarantee that they won’t voluntarily get in the police car without any struggle. Satan is a thief (John 10:10). It is his personal goal to steal as much as possible from you. He also wants to do this as often as possible. Your decision to make him stop is akin to police showing up at the scene of the crime. They can’t just decide to show up. They must also force justice. You must force justice too. The enemy will struggle and fight back. This simply means that you keep fighting until he is under arrest. Police have the victory because the law is on the side of justice (or at least it should be). We have the victory in Christ who fulfilled the law. The parallel is clear. Just like police have to exercise their authority until they subdue the enemy, we have to exercise our authority in Christ until we subdue the enemy. Although every problem isn’t the devil’s fault, a lot of them are. When we deal with the problems that he causes us, we must enforce our victory in the name and authority of Jesus. Just like a real arrest, this can take time, energy, and serious effort. God has given us power over all of the power of the enemy for this reason (Luke 10:19). We must choose to use it by faith! By: Daniel Duval 24 PROMOTING PURPOSE
FALL 2013
MEN OF GOD As men, you have been given a command from the Lord to be the head of the home. You have also been given the responsibility to be a godly and positive example to your children in all matters of life to include but not limited to spiritual matters, finances, relationships and all around godly living. I know for some, this may seem like extra responsibilities; but I d o believe that if you cast your cares upon the Lord, He will see you through every test, and trail that you may face as a father. As the scripture has said, “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.” Brothers with faith in the Lord Jesus, I know that each o f you can lead your families the way that the Lord has designed. One aspect that is clearly established in the bible is, God sets order within the Body of Christ and more so within the homes. “But I want you to know that the head o f every man is Christ, the head of the women is the man, and the head of Christ is God”- 1Corinthians11:3. • Men if you are not allowing Christ to be the head of your life, then you are out of order. • Men if you are passively sitting by allowing the wife and kids to rule, then you are out of order. • Women and children if you are not submitting to the authority that God has set up, then you are out of order as well. The word submission is seen as a dirty word for some, an opportunity to be a Lord-over of others and is often seen and associated with something that is an arduous task filled with drudgery. These are all lies and deceptions of the enemy. Submission simply is a willingness to yield to someone. Brothers when you submit your life, your plans, and your will to Jesus Christ, seeking first his righteousness, then everything else will fall into place. A godly woman doesn’t have a problem submitting to her husband if he is first submitted to Christ. On the other end this role of leadership within the family is often abused when it is run like a dictatorship. Christ never designed for the head to mistreat, neglect or show disrespect in any way to his family (the same is true for the wife and kids as well respect is mutual for all family members). But men are to love and care for their wives as Christ loves the church. Remember love is not selfish, it is not easily provoked and is not puffed up but is caring, longsuffering and kind. Please read 1 Corinthians 13 for further study on the subject of love. On top of being the head of the family, you also have been given the responsibility to be godly and positive examples to your children in all areas of life. The Lord has blessed you to bring forth life into this world. These precious lives are to be guarded and cared for with great value. Yes, as a father you will make mistakes! Yes, there will be times when you and your child will be at odds with each other because you told them no or didn’t allow them to do certain things that are either ungodly or unproductive!
But I d o believe that as a father whose doing his best to guide his children in truth, if you can maintain your integrity, your children will thank you for it later o n in life. Look at it this way, the more positive things you put into your child’s life, the more they will be able to deposit into others. On the other hand if you fail to deposit godly and positive things into them, then how can they positively lead o thers? The things you do or don’t do as a father will have great impact on not only your children but on future generations as well. Husbands and fathers, the time is now for you to be bold in faith and fervent in the Spirit. If you aren’t involved in your family life or if the family seems to be falling apart then it’s time to repair what the enemy has broken. The job of the enemy is to steal, kill and destroy by any means! He knows that if a family can get and stay in order and become complete in Christ, then his chances for wreaking havoc is slim. But if that family is broken for whatever the reason, then this is an open invitation for him to come in and attack. When the enemy comes in the family unit breaks down and ultimately society breaks down. The statistics of those in prison and those who commit crimes would drop drastically if young men and women had a father in their life or at least a father who showed them the right way. Your job as a father is one of the most important jobs that you could ever have! When the spirits of Ahab and Jezebel are in operation within the home anything is bound to take place. The Lord never designed for the women to be the head neither did he ever design for the women to fulfill both roles within the home. I understand that things happen in life where the parents no longer together, but that doesn’t give anyone the right not to be an active part of their kid’s life. Brothers, I pray that the Lord gives each of you the strength to become the true backbone and anchor that your family needs. I pray that as a father and husband you will allow the Lord to lead you before you can truly lead others. Wives, I pray that you will submit to, affirm and truly support your husband in this matter. Children, I pray that you submit to the authority that God has given even for you to follow for when you are obedient to your parents you are obeying the Lord. May the Lord richly bless each of you this day and always. By: Rachel Moore
CO PASTOR
AYO THOMAS Jamie “Ayo”Thomas came into the ministry in 2000, where she was ordained as a Youth Minister in Salisbury MD and later ordained as the Co-Pastor of Fortified City Church in 2012. In a moment of personal reflection, through the brokenness, abandonment, confusion and rejection, God revealed his plan for her life and instilled in her the skills to be able to set the captives free from the bondage of tradition, rejection, loneliness, and fear. Ayo now lives through the gift of “faith” and is a firm believer of speaking life into existence. In October 2005, God gave her a vision of a ministry that would change the lives of women around the world. Through education, God prepped Ayo for her journey. He then empowered her with the tools to birth what is now known as the Women of Excellence Fellowship (W.O.E.) and globally elevate it. As a passionate and prolific minister of the Gospel, Ayo utilizes her gifts and talents by empowering, elevating and educating the people of God in discovering their own purpose. Being a Transformational Life Coach, certified by the Dream Mentors Academy Program Jacksonville Florida, Ayo draws on her personal life experiences along with her background in Human Resources and Professional Training and development to guide ministries and market place professionals. Ayo is also a member of Women’s Speakers Association.
"Excellence is not a one time experience, it's a lifestyle."
In addition to being the founder of W.O.E. Fellowship, Ayo Thomas is also the creator of Daughters of Esther (D.O.E.), a ministry focusing on the purification of younger women through spiritual growth and development, and Her Story, an article segment featuring women of inspiration who services and inspires others through time and selfless giving. Ayo Thomas is also a loving and devoted wife and mother, who persistently work toward her educational goals that will further, enhance her effectiveness within the ministry. With an incredible aptitude for balancing the many demands of a multifaceted lifestyle, Ayo Thomas continues to be an inspiration to all women. www.woefellowship.com
26 PROMOTING PURPOSE
FALL 2013
RELATIONSHIP
Relationship Tips to Consider
*Be sure that you are spiritually mature for dating. Meaning that you have taken into consideration that you are ready for marriage and that dating is a part of that process. This does not mean that you should date two to four individuals at a time to determine who best fits your criteria. You will never receive a true answer, only confusion. Be sure to let that individual know that you are dating to possibly marry. This will give them the opportunity to determine if they would like to date you or move on.
The following guidelines and tips should be considered for Christian Dating:
*Dating is not a game of musical chairs to see how many people you can date within a week, month or year or just to have fun and spice up your life. *When dating, always keep in mind that it is not a means to an end. Your dating should be few, preferably one individual with the end desire and/or result of Marriage. Don’t waste an enormous amount of time on that particular individual. Most individuals know if they are ready for marriage within the first 6 months to 1 year of dating. If you have been waiting on him/her for 3 years now, prayerfully consider moving on with your life.
*At the concept of dating, if there are red flags, warnings or things that just don’t seem right (i.e. unwarranted excuses, lies, excessive baggage, jealousy, mistrust), trust and believe that this is the Holy Spirit’s way of warning you that there may be trouble down the road of dating this individual. Prayerfully consider discontinuing the relationship. *If you are unequally yoked at the beginning of dating a particular individual (i.e. different religious beliefs, backgrounds, no belief in God, no church attendance), then you must understand that your faith and belief in God will be greatly challenged. Many of us have great intentions of winning that individual to Christ but end up missing the mark, become less involved in church attendance, prayer and reading the word of God. By: Dr. Inecir Matthis
*As I have stated before, one should never put confidence in the flesh, i.e. the urges and/or desires for intimacy which can result from spending too much time alone, excessive touching, feeling and kissing, which can eventually lead to the act of intimacy which is scripturally known as fornication. This is often followed by guilt, repentance and the promise that it will never happen again. However, if given the opportunity this will continue to happen. If you are at this point in your relationship, consider a cooling off period of not spending so much time together, double, triple or group date with other couples and avoid places that invite solitude and intimacy. 29 PROMOTING PURPOSE
FALL 2013
ASK DR. MATTHIS
Q. Dear Dr. Matthis: I had a child out of wedlock when I was a teen, I am single, never been married and will be turning 40 in a few months. I am active in my church and the singles ministry. However, I have found myself desiring to have a mate but there are very few men in our church and most of them are married. The only men that seem to have an interest in me are the ones that I see or meet on my job, the grocery store or going to the coffee shop. Although the scripture says that we should not be unequally yoked, I really believe that there are a lot of good men out there and I am seriously considering dating someone that is not involved in the church. However, I still have my hesitations and not sure if this would be the wise thing for me to do at this time in my life. I waver between waiting on God and getting involved in the dating scene. Unsure Christian Woman
A. Dear Unsure, There are several things that stand out concerning your spiritual dilemma. Although you were a teen mom, you did not state if your child was an adult or living at home with you.
RELATIONSHIP When we have been active in a particular function of ministry for some time without change or growth, we can become spiritually restless and begin seeking something new and/or exciting, which can cause one to make poor choices and or decisions that have no biblical or scriptural foundation. When we get near or arrive to forty years of age, we begin to see life from a different perspective and become concerned with missing out of things that we feel are vital to us. For most single women, Christian or not; this happens to be a relationship. We begin to seek for validation, love, companionship, support, etc. With that being said, let me add that the fact that you submitted your question and that you are wavering in your decision to possibly become unequally yoked is an indication that you realize that you could be making a grave choice that will alter your personal, emotional and spiritual well-being. The word of God does not change. It is clear and precise. Light has nothing to do with darkness. Simply put: A Christian Woman who dates an unsaved man becomes entangled with darkness and thus becomes unequally yoked. This leaves one open for deception, pain, hurt, confusion and possible spiritual adultery. My advice: Fast, pray and seek God for guidance and His will for your life at this time. Make a list and be specific regarding what you NEED, WANT and EXPECT in a mate and leave the rest to God. Also, prayerfully consider becoming involved in another aspect of ministry to keep you busy. Dr. Matthis
Q. Dear Dr. Matthis: I have a friend that is currently dating someone else. In the past, we were intimate and although I have tried to avoid communicating with him, he continues to contact me, and his girlfriend has even called and asked me to stay away from him. I have cried and agonized over this scenario and have felt moments of discouragement at the loss of what could have been a relationship between us. I have begun attending church on a regular basis and feel as if my faith in God is increasing and would like to move forward in my life. USA
A. Dear USA: Once you’ve taken a platonic friendship to intimacy, you have crossed the boundary of no return. The unfortunate part is that during the act of intimacy, the chemical known as “oxytocin” was released in your body that causes you to become connected and bonded to that individual. Which is why you can’t stop thinking about him, answering his phone calls, text messages and seeing him (under the guise of a friend). What we see as an interruption or hurtful incident is often a blessing in disguise. Some relationships are not just meant to be. Continue your church attending and focus on not just an increased faith in God, but an increased relationship with God as well. In your time of prayer ask God to deliver you from the bonding and soul tie with this friend and to also heal your heart. Get involved in a group and/or singles ministry at your church and choose friends that are like-minded in the faith for support, prayer, and accountability to remain focused. Dr. Matthis
30 PROMOTING PURPOSE
FALL 2013
LOF COSMETICS & ACCESSORIES
Look and feel your best without spending a fortune!!! *LOF CARRIES ALL YOUR MAKEUP NEEDS *scarves & handbags * Men accessories, ties, cufflinks
L.O.F
Ladies Of Faith Call Oneika @ 864-‐414-‐5598 or Tikca @ 804-‐539-‐9033 Follow us on Twitter @LOFCosmetics & Facebook LOF Cosmetics & Accessories Hopewell, VA 23860-‐6425
FINANCE
The B Word…and how you can gain control By: Deborah Hightower
4
Prioritize. Fixed expenses are…well, fixed. So, there is typically only a small amount of savings that can be expected from items, such as utilities, parking, and the like. Dining out and shopping can be prioritized. Determine what’s more important to you – dining out with friends at a 5-star restaurant, saving for a fabulous pair of Christian Louboutin’s, or upgrading your living space. An allowance just for you! One of the major keys to making a budget work is discretionary cash for you. After evaluating your situation utilizing Steps 1-4, decide on a percentage that will come to you in cash every pay period. Of course, this percentage must be factored in with your other expenses. It is not prudent to take a big percent for your allowance that prohibits your ability to pay living expenses. The purpose of the allowance is to give you discretionary cash to spend as you like without the accounting that goes along with other budgetary entries.
5
Budgeting should not be a dreaded task. It should be approached from a power position. It should be about expanding the buying power of every dollar and maximizing the benefit of your earnings. It should be about gaining freedom from the worries of a month lasting longer than the money. It should be a positive proposition. Because… you are in control!
No, not that B word – this one… BUDGET. In some eyes, both are bad! Well, the BUDGET one is a good thing. We cannot promote our purpose without mastering the basics. Let’s take a look at how budgeting can help you gain control of your finances, and free yourself from the stress associated with money. Here are 5 things you need to know about managing your finances.
1
The time to start is now! Regardless of how good or bad you think the bottom line is, don’t procrastinate any longer. Get your bank statements/bills/checkbook/receipts together. Make a list of expenditures for the past two months. Notice the unexpected expenses, such as car repairs, and the largest areas of spending.
2
Know the ins and outs. Ignorance is NOT bliss. How much net money do you bring in each pay period? What expenses do you have for the same period? What is your total debt? How much do you owe on credit cards? Do you pay off the cards each month, or keep a running total? It is impossible to gain control if you don’t know where you are or how to get where you’re going.
3
Evaluate where you spend. Begin with the necessities then review the ‘other’ category. Find the holes that can be plugged. For example, have you inquired with your cell phone, cable, and car insurance companies about a better plan? Often, competition drives the cost down; you will not know the savings unless you inquire. 34 PROMOTING PURPOSE
FALL 2013
ETD