F RI DAY, N OV EM B ER 30, 2012
Think before you speak Kenya Dream: Did we learn anything at all? OPINIONS
FEATURES pages 6 & 7
pages 4 & 5
VOLUME 54 NO. 3
Bend it like Anand
Jane Li: School artist FLIP SIDE page 12
SPORTS pages 8 & 9
The Prospector
CHSPROSPECTOR.ORG
Student Newspaper of Cupertino High School
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MAKING HISTORY A tribute to Mr. Jay Lawson
PHOTO BY JESSICA SHIN
After 36 and a half years of teaching, history teacher Jay Lawson retires TANAY TANDON sports assistant
VINITRA SWAMY news assistant
For over 36 years, history teacher Jay Lawson has greatly contributed to academic excellence in Cupertino schools. Lawson, who plans to retire at the end of the semester, has had the opportunity to not only instruct countless sophomores and juniors through the courses of World History and U.S. History but also to help many gain new perspectives on the world in which they live. Said senior Joyce Wahba, a former student in Lawson’s world history class, “[Lawson] is so passionate about teaching, [which] really comes across in the way he always has tons of videos and tons of activities for us to do. It’s never a boring day in his class.” Lawson’s unexpected retirement is due to a recent diagnosis of multiple sclerosis (MS). According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, MS is a chronic disease that attacks the central nervous system and causes symptoms of mental and physical fatigue due to damaged scar tissue in the spine.
“A lot of MS patients say ‘I’m tired of being tired’ and that’s the truth. Although there is no cure, I’m feeling pretty good that I’ll still have a productive life,” Lawson said. Lawson, who initially left school to deal with his initial symptoms, has now returned for the semester. “Fortunately for me, I decided that I’m going to go out on my own terms, and that’s the main reason I’m back.” Previously a teacher at Monta Vista High School, Lawson chose to transfer to the school with a little bit of apprehension, but quickly realized he made the right decision. Said Lawson, “After about a year, I said, ‘I am so glad I came to [the school].’ This has been my home ever since 1986. I just love this place.” When he was younger, Lawson thought he would be an elementary school teacher, but due to his role as the head wrestling coach at Monta Vista, he decided to teach at high school instead. Lawson later led the school’s wrestling team to the league playoffs in 2003, and the red and gold banner still hangs in his classroom. His passion for wrestling transformed into a love for instructing high school students in a unique way.
“I have such a strong passion for [history] because it’s basically just one big story. I’ve always liked listening to people’s stories, so I said, ‘Why don’t we teach in the form of a story?’ That’s what makes it fun for me,” Lawson said. Lawson’s teaching partner, Kevin Morgan, has worked with him for the last two and a half years. The two have taught World Core, with Morgan teaching World Literature. “My first year here at Cupertino was my first year working with Mr. Lawson. [It was an] excellent experience from day one and it just continued to get better. I’ve said before in many of my classes, and to the students and other teachers that Mr. Lawson truly is one of my heroes,” said Morgan. “I really believe that if there was a hall of fame for teachers, then it would be made for Mr. Lawson.” Other than his teaching role, Lawson is also the advisor of the LEO Club, a community service organization sponsored by the LIONS Club. Said sophomore Pooja Singh, the vice president of LEO club and a current member of Lawson’s second period World History class, “He really cares about helping the community and getting LAWSON’S LEGACY CONTINUED cont. page 3
What defines Mr. Lawson?
Mr. Lawson is a teacher who strives to make world history appealing to students through his sense of humor and his enthusiasm for teaching - Junior Ruijing Li
His genuine kindness and helpfulness prove him to be one of my favorite teachers at this school and I am definitely disappointed by his absence - Sophomore Vinh Truong
Mr. Lawson always takes time to make history more interesting and always goes out of his way to help us learn more - Sophomore Shelby Chen
Cupertino High School PROUD Pioneer Marching Band wins Sweepstakes Victory is sweet, but that doesn’t mean that the way to it is easy. Cupertino High School Proud Pioneer Marching Band and Colorguard has worked its way up to the top and has finally achieved an accomplishment of a lifetime. Earning the honorary title of “The Band That Got Sweepstakes” was accomplished for the first time in band history on Nov. 3, 2012 at a competition at Lodi High School. Receiving the sweepstakes award for music, visual, general effect and overall performance was a great achievement for them. “I knew we had the potential,” band director Gilbert Iruegas said. “I believed that we could do it, but it was just the matter of doing it. To be honest, I wasn’t very surprised when we finally [won sweepstakes].” The history of the school’s marching band is very long, and there were lots of other victorious seasons such as 2007, 2008 and 2009, when the band won first place in every competition
PHOTO BY JESSICA SHIN
except for one each year. However, winning Sweepstakes was a totally new accomplishment, and the students felt thrilled to be recognized in such a way.
Said freshman alto saxophone player Soohan Woo, “I feel like we got what we deserved, especially since we worked so hard for it. I feel very proud of our band’s achievement.” Not only does the band have an outstanding performance on the field, but they also have a warm “family feel,” as Iruegas said, with one another off the field. “Band is like family,” Andrew Juan junior flautist said. “We work together, suffer together and celebrate together.” Although winning trophies may be tangible proof of the band’s success, it is not everything that this band works towards. Iruegas always teaches the students to have character, and preaches his famous quote to them before every competition, “First place, last place doesn’t matter. It’s the sense of us working towards something and achieving our goals, sticking to it even when it gets hard. That, to me, is more important than getting any COMPILED BY JESSICA SHIN trophy.”
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News
The Prospector
S TA F F 2012-2013
Cupertino High School Established 1958 Vol LIV, No. I | 2012 editors-in-chief azadeh rongere jesse zhou news editor chris s. yoon opinions editor nikhil kanthi features editor laura kao lifestyles editor natasha sharma
The Prospector
Stricter ASB club regulations elicit frustrations from club officers CHRIS S. YOON news editor
As of this year, ASB has modified its club regulations in order to keep track of money that goes through all the clubs at school; however, these changes have been met with frustration and discontent by numerous club officers. There are two main changes that accompany the stricter regulations: A formal purchase order for club apparel and a new mandatory budget sheet. Although these were made to meet the rules and regulations of the school district and the state, it has brought an increase in the number of forms required by clubs, which often slows down club activities and events. “I think a lot of clubs are frustrated with so many forms to fill out instead of just taking care of it by [themselves],” ASB clubs commissioner Prachi Joshi said. “I know a lot of clubs are especially frustrated with the new policy regarding the club apparel. I mean, it was a lot easier to just hand the money and let [each club] take care of it, rather than going through ASB, filling out the purchase order, and filling out the check request. It’s a lot more work, but if you look at it from the legal point of view, it’s the ‘right’ way to do it.” After years of neglect, numerous clubs have found it difficult to adjust to these new policies. Nevertheless, these policies were created not to crack down on clubs, but to monitor each club’s financial status by using legal steps in mon-
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involves a lot of paperwork which could easily get lost or confused.” On the other hand, there are club officers who advocate the stricter regulations. “The fact of the matter is, processes such as ordering apparel are not new, but have traditionally not been honored by many clubs,” VSA President Martin Nguyen said. In addition to internal changes, ASB might change the way Clubs Day is ASB CLUB REGULATIONS Cont. page 3
ALL PHOTOS BY JASON CHEN
A Letter to the Editor Editors, As a supporter of the Cupertino High School athletics program , I am more than disappointed about The Prospector’s lackluster coverage of CHS athletes and coaches. The most recent edition of The Prospec-
Editorial Policy “The Prospector” is an open forum of expression for student editors to inform and educate their readers. It will not be reviewed by or restrained by school officials prior to publication or distribution. Advisors may and should coach and discuss content during the writing process. The staff of “The Prospector” seeks to recognize individuals, events and ideas and bring news to the Cupertino community in an accurate, professional and unbiased manner. “The Prospector” will not avoid publishing a story solely on the basis of possible dissent or controversy. If you believe an error has been made or wish to have your opinion expressed in “The Prospector,” please contact us via mail or email. Letters sent become the sole property of “The Prospector” and can be edited for length, clarity or accuracy. “The Prospector” editorial board reserves the right to accept or reject any ad in accordance with its advertising policy.
While the new policies may help ASB better monitor clubs, ensuring a good use of funds, it somewhat hinders chapters from reaching their full potential by burying them in paperwork
The International Club and English Language Development (ELD) program hosted a Thanksgiving luncheon for their respective members on Nov. 20. The event, which took place in the Wagon Wheel, was well-attended by students and teachers alike, as administrators assembled behind the buffet line to serve traditional Thanksgiving cuisine — the full-course feast included turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce and pumpkin and apple pie — to a long line of students. Organized by Spanish and ELD teacher Joy Keifer and executed by numerous International Club members, the gathering was intended to provide foreign students with a taste — literally — of this American holiday. “Since many people here are from different countries, for a lot, this is their first Thanksgiving,” junior and International Club member Shannon Liang said. “We want to give them the experience of Thanksgiving.” ELD aide Evergreen Chien agreed, explaining that many students in the ELD program only reside in the United States for two to three years and do not celebrate Thanksgiving in their own homes, and are thus unfamiliar with the tradition. “[This event] is an opportunity to enjoy the season, get together and enjoy American culture,” Chien said. For senior Estela Chinchilla, an ELD 3 student from El Salvador, Thanksgiving was unknown before her first year at the school. She now celebrates the holiday at home and particularly enjoys the traditional apple pie served with the meal. But the best part of this school Thanksgiving celebration? “You can enjoy with your friends and meet new people,” COMPILED BY KATIE MARTIN she said.
flip side editor michelle cheung
diana kruzman vinitra swamy michael li
etary transactions. “I think it makes things a lot more complicated and drawn out than necessary,” Math Club President Lisa Lee said. The officers are already weighed down with a lot of pressure from the members to get things done quickly, and with the new regulations, it’s taking a lot longer to get stuff done. Plus, it’s confusing and
International club brings Thanksgiving feast to ELD students
sports editor abhishek zaveri
news assistants
November 30 , 2012
tor contained just four stories in the sports section, two of which did not mention any CHS students. While well written, informative, and professional, I would much rather see a focus on student-athletes than articles on a local health club and unknown sources of protein. The 2012 fall sports season has been flush with interesting stories, and yet in two editions of the paper, there is not one mention of league championship teams in field hockey/volleyball, and/or the most successful football team on this campus in 10 years. While it appears the sports section of The Prospector is geared more towards features than game re-caps, I still believe there is a time and place for recognizing athletic excellence at CHS. As a former student journalist, I recognize the limitations of time and space for articles; however, I certainly believe, there is more than enough time and space to cover the exploits of the many outstanding student-athletes and coaches on this campus. Respectfully, Andy Walczak Assistant Principal
Dear Mr. Walczak, As representatives of our school’s athletics coverage, our objective of the sports section is to balance the coverage of CHS athletes with fitness and sports-related articles that may interest readers who are unaware of what the newspaper has to offer. In our coverage of school athletics, we are always trying our very best to accommodate each sports team with an equal amount of coverage while remaining timely in our output. While we understand your concerns regarding the coverage of successful teams this past season, we urge you to visit our online publication, chsprospector.org, which has articles on every championship team, including a five-minute special report on the football team that was uploaded back in October. We specifically placed these articles online in order to adhere to our publication’s schedule and also to expose these teams’ successes to a broader audience. In our decisions to place certain articles in the paper versus online, we often consider writing about teams that are rarely covered, such as the girl’s water polo team in our September issue. We have found that the members of these teams are truly grateful for the stories we have written about their camaraderie and persistence, and deserve an equal amount of attention that the more successful teams have received. As editors and contributors to both the online and newspaper publication, we apologize for not informing the administration about our new website and the exclusively online content that it contains. We hope to cover each sports team equally, as well as serve our readers’ interests in our future issues. Abhishek Zaveri, Azadeh Rongere, Jesse Zhou The Prospector Sports Editor and Editor-in-Chiefs
November 30 , 2012
News
The Prospector
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ASB club Exploring the school garden Challenge Day experiences regulations Cont. page 2
run in the future. “This isn’t set in stone or anything, but it’s something that we’ve been discussing,” Joshi said. “There is a proposition to change the usual process, so what we’ll do is sell tickets the week before Clubs Day and people can use them to buy their food.” This new system, if enacted, would benefit both the clubs and the students. Instead of rummaging for change or trying to find a booth that can break a twenty dollar bill, students would be able to quickly and easily pay for their food on Clubs day. Similarly, clubs would not have to bother with tedious monetary transactions while surrounded by a horde of customers and would be able to focus more on distribution, ultimately speeding up the line and giving breathing room for students in the congested quad. “Also, there are issues with some clubs that just pocket the money instead of depositing it in their account. Whereas with this, tickets are worth nothing unless they exchange it back to ASB for their money,” Joshi said. Though initially met with much frustration, ASB hopes that its stricter enforcement of club regulations will help them better manage the abounding clubs on campus, and in turn, help clubs grow and succeed.
Cared for by the Gardening Club and advisor Marilyn Wong, the school garden flourishes with a variety of herbs, flowers, fruits and vegetables. Gardening Club dedicates an hour to the garden every Thursday after school, and while a watering system takes some responsibility off of club members, students work hard to soften the soil and remove pesky weeds manually. Because the plot of land is small, club members stray away from plants that require a lot of space. Aside from this, though, club members have free reign in deciding what they choose to grow. Watermelon and squash are particularly popular choices. The garden is a good opportunity for students to get involved with nature, and even academic classes benefit from the garden; the club keeps half of its yield while the other half is given to science classes to use. However, few students know where this garden is, and most do not know one even exists on campus. To visit the school garden, look for it in the back of the school next to Pioneer Park. COMPILED BY THU DAM
ALL PHOTOS BY THU DAM
On Friday, Nov. 9, the school hosted its 11th biannual Challenge Day event and received a mixed reflection on its costs and benefits. Challenge Day is an organization based in Concord, CA that supplies guest speakers who moderate discussion during the event at school. The ultimate goal of Challenge Day is to allow for students to feel a sense of unity and know that they are not alone in the problems they face. The school’s Challenge Day begins with games and exercises that allow students to feel comfortable while being honest around each other and eventually transforms into a discussion about the problems that many have faced. “You’re able to talk about a lot of things that you usually do not talk about and it feels really good to get that weight off of your shoulders,” junior Kimya Vazindel said. Challenge Day attempts to create an open environment in which stories are shared with an overall goal of creating respect within the student population. The environment and activities that Challenge Day brings, however, elicited not just positive reflections, but negative feedback as well. “I think it is an ‘at the moment’ thing,” senior Aurin Ghosh said. “I’m sure some people walk out that Monday and have an epiphany and their lives are changed, but I feel like most people there didn’t have too many issues that needed to be dealt with. Also, the eight-hour time was too long. If it were around five hours, it would have been alright.” The event costs 7,000 dollars per year and will continue to remain a part of the school’s tradition until a more viable alternative is found. COMPILED BY NIRMIT SHAH
Lawson’s legacy continued Cont. page 1
us involved. I think [that] it’s the amount that he cares and his enthusiasm that really got me interested in the club. Words can’t describe how amazing he is.” “It’s all about what can you as an individual do to make our community a better place, and to me, that’s what education is all about,” Lawson said. “When you learn that you have power, and you can use that power in a positive way, it can change the world.” Even though Lawson’s retirement comes earlier than expected, his career’s impact will be felt for years to come. Said Lawson, “I’ll always be able to look back and say I ended my career on my own terms. I’ll look back for these 36 and a half years and say, ‘I think I made the difference in the lives of a few of my students.’ And what’s better than that? That’s what life is all about. ALL PHOTOS BY THU DAM
Opinions
4
November 30, 2012
Z E R O T OL E R A N C E Are the punishments too stringent? A talk with
the principal Q: Approximately how many Zero Tolerance infringements do you see annually? A: Approximately, I deal with less than five cases a year, but here I’m knocking on wood and every other surface around. It can come in waves, but there’s no conspiracy. One year may have a surge of activity.
Who can enforce the policy?
Assistant Principals
Principal
The principal makes the ultimate call; should it be referred to the district?
School District Decides the punishment
DIANA KRUZMAN news assistant
Weapons, drugs and sexual harassment: the three unforgivable actions that the Zero Tolerance Policy protects our campus from. In most cases, the policy is effective in preventing these actions. The lack of violent incidents, or even their precursors, is a testament to the effectiveness of the policy in achieving its purpose of prevention rather than punishment. The policy is rational as well as effective; well-thought out and well-administered, every facet is designed to create a safe and productive environment at school. Specifically, the policy calls for suspension or expulsion in cases as severe as an assault on another person. Recent incidents involving the execution of this rule have led many students to believe that it is unnecessarily severe, bringing up issues such as a student’s lack of malicious intentions in violating the policy. Many fail to understand that the student’s innocence, or lack thereof, is not the core of the issue. On average, the school reports less than 5 Zero Tolerance Policy infringements per year, proving that students do not dip into the grey area between what is punishable and what is not. This is a testament to the policy’s ability to keep the campus safe. The administration cannot let certain miscreants off the hook without also pardoning similar cases. This kind of loosening on punishment as a snowball effect: small pardons lead to bigger ones, and eventually, the line between pardon and punishment has not only faded, it has been completely erased. This kind of gray area could lead to pardons of real crimes, as well as of innocent students, as the administration has no way to truly know. The axiom “better safe than sorry” is ingrained into the minds of even the smallest children – for a reason. When lives are at stake, a stringent system is imperative. Whether or not students have any intention to hurt others or are even aware that they are carrying weapons, is irrelevant, as the administration can never know for sure. Therefore, assumption is the mandate in order to protect the safety of students at school. Ultimately, the guilt or innocence of the accused is not the issue. The day a parent gets a phone call saying their child has been killed because their school adopted a system that provided exceptions Actual based on guesswork is the day the school has failed. The school has to keep the integral promise it makes to its students when they step through the Wagon Wheel their first day: I will keep you safe.
MICHAEL LI news assistant
The well-known Zero Tolerance policy is meant to combat student crimes of near criminal or criminal nature, such as the possession of dangerous objects on campus. However, recent incidents have sparked a wave of anti-Zero Tolerance policy activism on the Internet. They have brought to light the suggestion that the policy may be incapable of complying with the needs of the school. The punishments listed in the Zero Tolerance policy include suspension from school, referral to law enforcement agencies for prosecution and, the gravest, expulsion. This is not in the best interest of the students because one fixed set of punishments set by the state cannot be versatile enough to apply to all cases. The idea of applying the same laws to an inner city district and Cupertino is fundamentally flawed. Since the school shooting and drug dealing epidemic of the 1990s, states have begun to pass Zero Tolerance policies to ensure a safe learning environment for students, staff and the general public. In order to successfully provide such an environment, schools must enforce the standards given by the state and follow protocols dictated by Sacramento. The rigidity of the policy forces administrators to punish students involved in minor incidents as bringing a water gun or plastic knife to school. These incidents often reach the media and also embitter students against the policy, dividing the school upon the principal issue of student safety. School officials have been warned that Zero Tolerance may not effectively stop crime at schools. The California Department of Education itself admits that the Zero Tolerance policy is flawed. As they stated on their website, “A policy that does not allow school administrators’ discretion or consideration may be arbitrary … in addition to the risk of students being unfairly punished.” Innocent students who clearly did not harbor malicious intentions should not be treated the same way as students who actually intended to cause or attempt to cause bodily harm to other members of the school. However, the Zero Tolerance policy treats them in the same manner and this is a rote approach to something as integral as student expulsion. When a student is called in to talk to the principal because they might have Size accidentally broken Zero Tolerance, they will never forget the fear. Blame and innocence cannot be dealt with by a handful of rules in a book. Those rules have the potential to shatter a child’s life.
The Zero Tolerance policy is not made by the school, or the district, but by the state. What qualifies as a Zero Tolerance crime on campus is dictated by the California education board.
The state updates its standards book annually, and in this book are the Zero Tolerance specifications. The most common infringement Mrs. Tomberlain has dealt with in her work experience is weapons posession.
Q: When was the Zero Tolerance policy enacted? A: The phrase ‘Zero Tolerance’ is from the late 1980s or so, but the ideas are much older. The Zero Tolerance policy was enacted to keep our students safe, and I am glad our student body is well behaved and well aware of their responsibility to this school. COMPILED BY NIKHIL KANTHI
Opinions
The Prospector
November 30, 2012
Pioneer
5
Pride
Students should take pride in how much teachers experiment in new technology for their benefit KEELY ZHANG features assistant
For the past few years, students have been furiously scrambling to purchase some of the latest and most high-tech gadgets available. Lately, the school has joined the bandwagon and has purchased its own set of tech tools to incorporate in classrooms. However, the school’s initiative to improve the curriculum is ultimately wasted if students refuse to utilize it to its full potential. For example, formative assessments are short, ungraded quizzes that test students on key concepts for each unit. Once students completed their assessments, they can scan it under a device called Mastery Connect which can instantaneously spit out comprehensive feedback of how each student did on the assessment and pinpoint concepts that teachers may need to clarify.
However, terribly few of my fellow classmates take formative assessments seriously. Most students scribble illegible calculations on their papers and answer the questions randomly. Designed to give teachers prompt and accurate feedback, the 160 dollar Mastery Connect has failed in its purpose because students do not take it seriously enough. Technological abuse like this can be found across campus. This school has invested thousands of dollars in the latest pieces of technology, including but not limited to Smart Boards, document cameras and Macs. However, teachers who transform Smart Boards into jeopardy boards as a way to help students review for the next quiz are met with apathetic students secretly playing phone games under their desks. The document camera is worthless without an audience and Macs lose their educational value when they are utilized as portals for cat viewing. Meowbify is for home time, not school time. The reason students do not treat these classroom tools with respect is because they take them for granted. Students
feel entitled to technological benefits — if there’s technology at home, there should be equal technology at school, right? It never crosses their minds that teachers who use new technology are sacrificing their time to test these teaching methods in order improve their curriculum. That staff members must painstakingly order and keep track of each device, and that additional technicians must be hired to maintain the equipment. However, if students refuse to cooperate and ignore the school’s attempts to help, even the latest shiny gadget won’t magically make students the productive citizens of tomorrow. Although public education in America is by no means flawless, students’ attitudes could use a little improvement as well. While there are certainly some who do appreciate the technology available and who do use it the way it’s intended, many need to stop taking the technological endeavors and pioneering spirit of the school for granted. The school is trying to improve itself for the sake of students. It’s about time the efforts were appreciated.
w i t d l hout r o w A STAFF EDITORIAL The epitome of unity at the school could arguably have occurred three years ago, when the Class of 2010 and their class-created organization Kenya Dream raised 50,000 dollars for an impoverished community in Kenya. Four classes in four years made what was perhaps the greatest collective effort by the school this century. It was an accomplishment rivaled by no other school at the time and one that received national attention from news outlets and local television. Yet the once vibrant school that was united under one organization has lost its unified spirit with minimal effort from any organization on campus to attempt such afeat again. Unless a highly motivated group of students snowballs another similar movement, our school will remain a shade of its former glory. It is understandable that Kenya Dream was a one-of-a-kind organization that may never be able to be properly mimicked in any way, shape or form, and that it is unfair to compare efforts today to one of the most defining moments for the school in recent years. Yet some of the clubs spawning today seem to center on more hobby-based interests and inward focuses instead of focuses that extend beyond the home we call California. While necessarily not a bad thing, especially since these clubs help define a person and plant seeds for
ART BY ASHLEY LIU
future success, one must think of impact when creating a new club. If the school is ever to be collectively focused on a single effort again, it must be seized by an idea that can excite the imagination of every student. Such a club or organization must tie together students of all kinds rather than just a specific archetype. Kenya Dream’s greatest asset was how it was marketed towards every type of student: from buttons to t-shirts to brochures to posters - and more- many groups integrated their effort to a common goal. The end result: a school in Kenya. It takes hundreds of students to move the weight of something as big as 2010’s incredible dream, but when it moves, it makes a difference in the world. It is time for the entire school — not just one club or a certain group of students — to remember that we do not live in a bubble, but a great sea of people who have different and more extreme problems than we do.
Features
6
November 30, 2012
FOUL WO
Is profanity ever okay?
Words have weight. Although they are easily slipped out of mouths, words may come with repercussions a certain word. In today’s youth culture, insensitive words are often thrown around without much thought to
!#&@*$%
!#&@*$%)@#^!&(
35% YES
125 STUDENTS POLLED
COMPILED BY KEVIN CHU
KATIE MARTIN copy editor
VICTORIA DUAN copy editor
LAURA KAO features editor
Gay (adjective) 1. Happily excited, merry 2. Bright, lively 3. Homosexual These, according to Merriam-Webster, are the three definitions of the word “gay.” It is important to note that these meanings are not synonymous with “stupid” or “terrible” or any of the other terms that both students and the media so frequently opt to substitute with a word most commonly used to describe homosexuality. Such use of “gay” has become nothing short of a youth culture phenomenon: Anything from an uncool pair of shoes to an especially difficult chemistry lab can be labeled as “gay” amongst students, and this derisive usage, though often in jest, can be detrimental to both the LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning) community and onlookers. Gay-Straight Alliance members and openly lesbian seniors Jezzy Sanches and Elizabeth Lorenzo have experienced firsthand the effects of the misuse of this word, as the process of coming out, especially for Sanches, was made significantly more difficult by some prejudiced peers. “When I first came out, I was scared because I knew a lot of people … who spoke maliciously about gay people. I picked my battles … I’d get really angry [about the misuse of “gay”] but I’d stay quiet,” Sanches said. Both Sanches and Lorenzo, as well as fellow senior Paul Blank, who identifies as pansexual — someone who experiences attraction to persons of all gender identities — are quick to point out that the school is generally an accepting environment, and that the student body seems to be straying away from the incorrect usage of “gay.” “For the most part, I haven’t actually encountered it in extreme amounts among my peers,” Blank said. But when he does hear students making malicious statements about gay people, “I usually try and correct them as soon as I hear it.” Lorenzo echoes these sentiments, estimating that she hears students misusing the word “gay” approximately once or twice per month. Unfortunately, despite such tolerance, “[some] people,” according to Sanches, “are still in the Dark Ages.” “I remember one guy who was in my U.S. History class … we were taking this poll to see how liberal or conservative we were, and it got to a question that said something like, ‘Are you okay with LGBTQ individuals?’ and he said, ‘I don’t want no (expletive) faggots in my country.’” However, as Sanches, Lorenzo and Blank believe, the problem is not rooted in inherent bigotry but in learned behaviors perpetrated by popular culture.
54% said Internet
65% NO
Where do students hear the most profanity? 122 STUDENTS POLLED
U M
DA
10% said Movies/TV
TH
COMPILED BY KEVIN CHU
36% said Music
Features
The Prospector
November 30, 2012
ORDPLAY
s. Sometimes the meaning may be taken lightheartedly, other times caution is required when choosing to say the true definition behind the letters.
“I think media can affect people when they’re younger. Media influences … how you act and how you speak. At a younger age, you think that [intolerance] is okay,” Lorenzo said. Because youth are constantly surrounded by media, the usage of the word “gay,” even when used satirically, can become ingrained in one’s daily language. Pop culture has, on the whole, become significantly more accepting of LGBTQ people, with gay characters prominently featured in shows like Glee and The New Normal. But when the wildly popular cartoons South Park and Family Guy use “gay” to promote stereotypes or even describe loud motorcycles, the meaning behind the usage — usually sarcasm — goes over the heads of many of the kids who enjoy these shows. Since a portion of the audience does not understand the often ironic purpose of the word’s inclusion, “gay” thus continues to be used incorrectly. This replacement, Blank explains, is now simply a knee-jerk reaction. “I think that it’s mainly word substitution,” he said. “People don’t typically realize they’re being offensive; it’s just second nature to them … but they end up being offensive.” The poison behind these seemingly innocent comments lies not with the intent but with the effect. By comparing negative situations or objects to homosexuality, or by saying “no homo” after showing affection to someone of the same gender, it is implied that being gay is somehow wrong. These statements, no matter their purpose, can lead to further alienation of LGBTQ youth. But it is not only the LGBTQ community that is negatively affected by the misuse of terminology. Similarly, students with handicaps or have siblings with disabilities feel uncomfortable when their peers carelessly throw around the “r-word.” Last year the Best Buddies club on campus sold wristbands printed with the phrase “End the R-Word,” to dissuade the usage of the word and remind students to think before they speak. But some students feel completely at ease using and hearing the word, and argue that the term has lost its meaning over the years, and thus its offensive bite. Said senior Chris Ying, “Because the modern usage of the word no longer implies the medical term, I feel that it is completely fine to use in colloquial language.” Because of the lax usage of the term, some students are confused by how appropriate the term is when used in everyday speech. Some students compare using the word to swearing: swearing can be offensive, but people often lose themselves in the moment. Senior Mithya Jayakumar agrees that while the word has always bothered her, it is all too simple to accidentally slip out the r-word. “I didn’t know what [the word] really meant until I hit high school, then it hit me ... close to home because I’ve worked with a lot of children who have down syndrome,” she said. “I try not to use it and encourage others not to use it but I feel like it’s just the norm now.” Others maintain that the word continues to be offensive even when used in casual conversation. When the r-word is substituted in place of words such as “dumb” or “stupid,” it only reinforces the stereotypes of those with intellectual disabilities. Similarly to the word “gay,” misuse of the r-word makes the term not only derogatory, but exclusive. Hurtful. coming home laurie breton While these terms are being used more and more frequently in casual conversation, it is crucial to think twice before spitting out words with double meanings. Calling a friend “gay” or “retarded,” even in jest, can cause discomfort to not only those on the receiving end of the conversation but bystanders as well. Carelessness and insensitivity go hand in hand, and more often than not end up offending or hurting people.
Heroes for the cause Special Olympics athlete and global messenger John Franklin Stephens published “An Open Letter to Ann Coulter” after she tweeted a message containing the word ‘retard’ during the Oct. 22 presidential debate. As a 30-year-old man with Down syndrome, he considers his intellectual disability a badge of honour and attacks Coulter’s use of the r-word as an insult. Dan Savage is an award-winning author, journalist, newspaper editor and political commentator. He launched the “It Gets Better” video project to combat bullying and prevent LGBTQ teen suicides. In 2005, Savage married his long-term partner, Terry Miller. The couple lives in Seattle with their adopted son. As a young boy growing up in a former coal town nestled deep in the Appalachians, John Nash was solitary, bookish and introverted. Though suffering from schizophrenia, he hopped from engineering to chemistry before discovering his passion: mathematics. At Princeton University, he absorbed himself in one of the most popular math fields in the day, game theory, which described strategies in competition. In 1994, at the age of 66, he received a Nobel Prize in Economics for his work on game theory. WRITTEN BY KEVIN CHU
Say this instead: TH
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Lifestyles
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November 30, 2012
that’s so
ABHISHEK ZAVERI sports editor YOUSEPH PAVLOVIC lifestyles assistant
The word ‘hipster’ is sometimes thrown around by young people in order to subtly question the authenticity of others. The problem is, the word doesn’t really mean anything. Ask a hundred people and they will each give you a different definition of what a hipster is, mostly centered around cultural stereotypes about the way people dress, what music they listen to and how many Casio watches they own. So why do people say it? The answer lies beyond Instagram filters and leopard-printed Wayfarers. It has to do with people’s deep seated insecurities about their own individuality and authenticity. Buckle up, this article is going to be real. Our problem is with those who sprinkle the word liberally (no pun intended) on top of their insults in order to attack the legitimacy of people who aren’t like them. People say it contemptuously about others who look or act in a way incongruous with what mainstream corporate culture dictates. It is a pretty meaningless pejorative that does little to explain the
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person it is meant to describe. The word has found a place in pop culture as a description of a certain type of a person who is a part of some vague “counter-culture.” The only real consensus that anyone can reach on the definition of a hipster is that he or she probably listens to The Shins, wears skinny jeans and drinks mocha frappe lattes from independent coffee shops. Everyone’s idea of a hipster is different, based on their preconceived judgment of what is cool and what is not. Nobody labels themself a hipster; the word is only used to describe others, to question their lifestyle. It has become a blanket term for anything and everything that rubs the user of the word the wrong way. People who use it in a derogatory manner are just reflecting their own insecurities. If one was completely confident in one’s own lifestyle, there would be no need to use the term hipster. These people should ask themselves the same questions they ask others — why do I wear the clothes I wear? Why do I listen to the music I listen to? What attributes of my personality am I conceding to outside influence? To some extent, everyone succumbs to fads and cultural norms. It’s impossible to define a whole class of people by the clothes they wear or the music they listen to. Let’s start to refrain from throwing around words that disparage people on the grounds of their tastes, lifestyles and preferences alone. It may be popular, but it’s not cool. We should know. We’re pretty hipster.
Alicia Keys is heating up with her new album TRINA BHATTARAI opinions assistant
ALYA OMAR copy editor
This album will make you feel brand new. Perhaps its sounds will inspire you. Alicia Keys, a new mother and winner of 104 awards, released an awe-inspiring album, “Girl On Fire,” on Nov. 27. Let’s just avoid all the confusion and say that this is not about Katniss from The Hunger Games. However, the album does resonate with the intensity of the famous movie, but in a different perspective. Her album reflects the typical style her other songs about self-love that inspire the confidence and fuzzy feelings of a good hair day. Spicing up the album are duets and backups provided by countless prominent artists, including Bruno Mars, Frank Ocean, Jamie xx, Nicki Minaj, Babyface, Dr. Dre, John Legend and Maxwell. Most admirable of all, Keys remains one of the sole gems in the R&B industry who writes songs about having a good time and partying (“New Day”) without a single reference to alcohol, drugs or dat booty on the dance floor. Though “Girl On Fire” includes records of love, both sweet (“Tears Always Win”) and sexy (“Fire We Make”), Keys stays true to the anthem of loving oneself and being independent. What’s special about her feminist approach, however, is that nowhere in any record does she bash men or over-celebrate the
single ladies. Said Keys in an interview with Washington Post, “My last record, ‘Element,’ it was more like, I was so into sounds and sonics, I was so into how to create more sonic places to go to and experiment. I think the songwriting process came almost second to the sonics of it, which was interesting. But then this record, the songwriting process was king for me.” And the hard work reigns. In “Not Even The King,” a heartmelting single about how love conquers materialism, Keys’s velvet crooning gives more profound meaning to her words: “Some people so lonely; what good is a castle surrounded by people? But ain’t got a friend that’s not on the payroll.” Keys can always be expected to release songs that make a person cry with the feeling of empowerment and strength. However, is that all to which her soulful voice is limited? Keys once again did not venture out of her comfort zone, as several of her new songs inspire the same meaning as her old. “Not Even the King,” for example, sounds too similar to her old hit “Doesn’t Mean Anything,” released in 2009. And in all honesty, a person listening to the whole album probably would not be able to distinguish the end of one song from the beginning of the next one. Nonetheless, the continuous stream of soul is so powerful and beautiful that one can say that it doesn’t really matter. Perhaps this album lacks the fire and new spark that the title indicates, yet its records overflow with the classic Alicia Keys smolder. You go, mama.
TOP 3 SINGLES:
1. Girl On Fire 2. De Novo Adagio 3. Brand New Me
Lifestyles
The Prospector
November 30, 2012
“Veggie” shoes cater to unique fashion tastes $95
$103
$90
TRINA BHATTARAI opinions assistant
Until recently, shoes comforted feet all over the world while providing opportunities to make a bold fashion statements. Nowadays, businesses such as Vegetarian Shoes allow people to not only express their style, but also represent their personal beliefs. Great Britain native Robin Webb founded Vegetarian Shoes in an effort to offer fashionable footwear that completely avoid usage of leather and, hence, animal abuse. Synthetic microfiber material used for yachting upholstery is used as a substitution for leather and, according to Webb, fully resembles the feel and look of real leather. Although Vegetarian Shoes is still a relatively small business located in Brighton, U.K, its popularity is growing steadily as it sends shoes to be sold in
Early Registration Discount! $75 off by Nov. 17th
various stores in numerous countries. The story of Vegetarian Shoes began in 1990 when Webb heard that car tires are recycled to perform as shoes soles in parts of Africa. Soon after, Webb applied his skills learned in art college to make shoes from varieties of material besides leather. Webb’s animal cruelty-free business flourished, and he soon could not meet the demand for shoes himself. Thus, he submitted his materials to a footwear factory to get them to make shoes for him. Along with Vegetarian Shoes, many other brands such as Beyond Skin, Form and Fauna and Good Feet, also offer vegan shoes. Increasing numbers of people are switching to vegan shoes as they not only protect animal rights, but also helps the environment since converting animal skin to sturdy leather requires a large amount of fuel burning in factories. Lastly, vegan shoes tend to be cheaper than styles that use leather. Vegan shoes provide an alternative for people who wish to respect animal rights, protect the environment and save money while shopping for shoes.
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chsprospector.org
College Counseling
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Sports
November 30, 2012 ANAND HEMMADY copy editor
A Day IN THeir cleats
ALL PHOTOS BY JASON CHEN
AMATEUR HOUR | Staff member Anand Hemmady participated in stretching and basic drills with the varsity soccer team. At the be-
ginning, Hemmady felt confident in his abilities, but soon realized that soccer was more than running up and down the field and kicking arbitrarly. Once Hemmady had to face team members during drills, his respect for the sport increased exponentially
Disclaimer: I’m not actually that great of an athlete. You don’t need to tell me. I already know I’m a gifted athlete. I was born with the body of an Olympian, the mindset of a winner and the heart and soul of a champion. I was born to play sports. I was born to win. To conquer. To shatter records and leave my opponents lying helplessly on the ground as I mocked their inability to make me pant. So when I was told by the forces that govern this newspaper that I had to practice with the varsity soccer team and write about my experience, I just laughed. Soccer? Soccer is a sport that involves running around, hitting balls with your head and occasionally scoring goals, right? Easy. When I arrived at the stadium, the team was already warming up with a practice drill. As I watched the players weaving in between each other, changing directions and firing off precise passes at a dizzying pace, I realized just how outmatched I was. Passing the soccer ball is hard enough. Add in the sprinting bodies I had to avoid and I was more or less set up for failure. And doing all of that accurately and without hesitation? No chance. Luckily, by the time I reached the field, the team had finished that drill. The next drill required us to form a circle. Two people were in the middle, and they would constantly pass the ball to the people on the outside. The people on the outside had to pass it to the other person in the middle of the circle. As I observed this exercise, I felt a bit better. It didn’t look too hard; I didn’t have to run, so I only needed to focus on passing. Everyone else seemed to be managing alright, and I was eager to prove myself. As soon as the ball hit my foot, it bounced off and rolled in the wrong direction. I chased it down and tried to kick it back. I shot it wide and the receiving player had to chase it down. I was stunned. How could I, undoubtedly the greatest athlete of all time, find a trivial game of kicking so difficult? Professional athletes have trouble sleeping at night when they hear my name. How could this simple sport put up such a challenge? Coach Edison Penafiel, the head coach, then decided to put me in the middle. Somehow, I managed to survive the drill. I botched more passes than I could count, though, and I definitely was not nearly as skilled as the people who were in the middle before me. The physical side of soccer had caught up to me, and I was panting, leaving me exhausted and thoroughly humbled. I participated in more drills, but none were any better than the first. By the end, I had a far greater appreciation of the sport than before. Throughout the practice, the amount of finesse and training that soccer requires shocked me. I was astounded by the general awareness that soccer players needed to have, from tracking the ball at all times to knowing the locations of opponents and teammates. Even as the phenomenal I am, I was unable to compete with the skilled varsity players. I learned the hard way that you shouldn’t judge a sport before you play it.
JASON CHEN
LEADING BY EXAMPLE | During halftime, Coach Craig Robertson points to the starters and tells them which positions to play in the next half. He often demonstrated how he wanted plays to be done with a
ball. His passionate speeches during breaks were designed to motivate the team to compete and win. Said Robertson, “Winning is a habit. Have confidence in yourself and you will be able to achieve your goals”
Water polo coach copes with post-season cancer relapse Water polo coach Craig Robertson is an icon to the team because he is more than just a mentor: he is a fighter and a survivor. Robertson is currently battling a relapse of an undisclosed type of cancer, whose symptoms started occurring during the middle of the fall polo season. Despite his affliction, Robertson has been described as a devoted coach who did not let anything stop him from pushing his team to be the best. Said senior Jerry Lo, “He came from one practice pale and sweaty because the day before, he just finished another round of treatment. We asked why he was there, and he said it was because we had a game the next day. He cared about us, and sometimes we couldn’t deliver.” Many players on the team have been affected by Robertson’s affliction. “We had to keep [the emotions] underneath so we could focus on the game,” junior David Poirier said. “I’ve never really been close to someone who has cancer before, so it made me want to show him what I can do before he left for treatment.” Although Robertson is currently out of town recovering, representatives from the water polo team report that he is making a slow and steady recovery. COMPLIED BY JESSE ZHOU
COURTESY OF BOY’S WATER POLO TEAM
11 Evan Almighty: Own the mat Sports
The Prospector
November 30, 2012
A-PUSH to cheer: Coach Roush ASHLEY LIU lifestyles assistant
Finding a suitable long-term substitute for a teacher taking a long-term leave of absence is usually not a problem for most teaching positions. However, for a position as specialized as that of the cheer coach, perhaps it is lucky that one teacher happens to fit right into the empty gap. Rachel Crawford, an English teacher and the school’s cheerleading coach, is going on maternity leave, so Kelly Roush, the current AP U.S. History teacher, will take over the position of cheer coach starting next semester. Roush was a cheerleader when she was in high school and had the opportunity to perform in competitions alongside her school’s combined cheer and dance team. She attended the cheerleading team’s stunt camp in October, as well as a practice several weeks afterward to observe and help with “spotting,” or aiding and supporting moves. She attended more practices this semester alongside Crawford for the duration of football season and first semester, planning to officially take over the cheer squad starting second semester in time for basketball season. Several students expressed optimism about Roush’s coaching ability, despite the fact that she has not coached cheer before. Said junior Emily Garcia, “[Because she is] able to handle classes full of teenagers, [she will] definitely be able to handle and gain the respect of a team full of teenage girls.” Students also believed that a different cheer coach could present a good opportunity to learn something new. Because the cheer team regularly invites guest coaches from other cheer organizations to come to a practice to coach or teach new moves, senior Jenny Kim thought that Roush could similarly offer new
JASON CHEN
JASON CHEN
SPIRIT FINGERS! | New cheerleading coach
DRAKE NOT JOSHIN’ | Senior Evan Drake is
ideas and perspectives from her experience as a cheerleader. “[Crawford] is a great coach, but I think a fresh pair of eyes can always help us improve in many aspects,” Kim said. While Roush currently teaches AP U.S. History, a class known for its brisk pace and frequent issuing of grades well below A’s and B’s, many cheerleaders were optimistic about how Roush’s teaching would translate into coaching. Said sophomore Pooja Singh, “In my experience, [Roush is not] harsh, and I have seen her saying “Try doing this instead,” but she’s not mean about it. I don’t think any girl should have a problem with sensitivity.” Roush eagerly anticipates the changes in both coaches and sports seasons. “I’m super excited to coach. I definitely believe that they have a lot to offer as a team,” said Roush.
NIKHIL KANTHI
Kelly Roush shows off her spirit
training vigorously for the upcoming season
opinions editor
Evan Drake slowly eases himself onto the mat, uncomfortably sweaty and fatigued. Every part of his body aches, from his shoulders to his abdominals to his legs. His calloused and torn fingers fumble for his iPhone. He texts his sister. One word. “Finals.” This year marks Drake’s seventh as a wrestler. One day, when he was in sixth grade, his sister commented that his wiry but muscular build was perfect for wrestling. Curious about his abilities in the sport, he tried out for Lawson Middle School’s team the following week. Six years after making the middle school team, Drake won the Most Outstanding Wrestler Award at Bay Sectionals in Jan. 2012. When he steps on the mat this season,
the 5-foot-6-inch and 134 pound senior will be at the peak of his performance. Coming back from his most celebrated year, he wants to graduate with a bang, not a whimper, and so he trains arduously every day. During practice, the team runs to Prospect High School and back — a journey of six miles. Drake is the first one back in the room. After a water break, he takes on the drills Coaches Mike Moyano and Sean Cryan have prepared for the wrestlers. Once practice ends, he drives home. At home, he does 80 pushups. He runs on the overpass next to his house; on this overpass, he once sprinted for 45 minutes straight in three layers of sweats to lose three pounds for his tournament the next day. He has endured the burden of his own astronomical expectations. His earliest victory was in eighth grade, when he won in double overtime with a double bloody nose. It is not surprising that Drake’s speciality is outlasting his opponent. When he is pitted against a wrestler of equal or greater might, his advantage lies in his stamina. Raw perseverance has earned him many of his victories. In the last seconds of a match, when his panting opponent is sluggish from the bout, Drake maintains his vigilance and ferocity. His quads of steel probably assist him as well. Those final seconds on the mat got him to States this year. In sophomore year, he went on a 1000 calorie per day diet for a month to fall into his appropriate weight class. In doing so, he attained 6 percent body fat. His secret was taking the cheese off the school pizza. Today, his persistence is an accepted truth in his life. He will not rest until he has achieved his personal best. When asked why he tries this hard, he simply responded, “You gotta persevere, right?”
Flip Side
November 30, 2012
12
NOVEMBER IN PHOTOS JASON CHEN
JASON CHEN
JASON CHEN
THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO | Gene Wang and Minji Seok captivate the audiences
TURKEY TROT | Teachers Teresa Filice, Stacey Morse and Amy Benson run in the school’s Turkey Trot
FORMAL PROMO | Robert Hou and Varsha Prabhakar don appropriate outfits for Winter Formal
COURTESY OF YOUTUBE
JASON CHEN
SPOTLIGHT | Brian Shin participates in K-pop Star, showcasing his talented voice on television
STUDENT FEATURE: JANE LI, SHOE ARTIST
THU DAM
FALL SPORTS AWARDS | Overall MVP of the season was awarded to field hockey player Julia Seaton
going to find time to paint shoes?” especially since I have sports right now, but I was like, “I’m not going to give this up,” and kept on painting and my mom eventually got over it. Q: Is there a preference for the brand of shoes that you paint? A: I don’t really have a preference. Canvas shoes are better to paint on, but I usually paint on Toms or Vans just because more people have them.
JESSICA SHIN
Q: How did you first get the idea to paint shoes? A: In middle school, I used to draw on my own shoes and sometimes on my friends’ shoes and people started to compliment [my drawings]. Then, in high school, I painted a pair for my friend’s birthday and people really liked them. They told me that they would pay for me to paint [their shoes] so I started officially painting on other people’s shoes. Q: How does the process work? A: Right now, I have a website, and I’m still working on the shopping cart, but basically you buy and bring your own shoes to me, and I draw a design that you want on your shoes. If there’s no particular design that you want, I have designs on my website and you can choose from those. Q: About how long does it take you to paint the shoes? A: It takes me about one or two hours, but I usually take about a week to do them so that I don’t have to do all the work at once. Q: Do your parents approve of your shoe-painting business? A: Yes. My mom was really worried about my time management at first, and she was like, “Oh, when are you
Q: How do you decide what prices to put on the designs? A: My standard charge is 15 dollars, but if the design uses a lot of paint or requires more time I charge more, and if it’s easier, I charge less. Q: Where do you use the money that you get from painting shoes? A: I donate it to Wildlife Center of Silicon Valley. It’s basically an animal shelter, and it’s run by all volunteers. Q: I heard that TOMS set up a promo code for Walkinthese? A: I emailed TOMS recently and we had a conversation, and they offered to give me a promo code. So they set up this promo code that’s five dollars off for anyone who buys their shoes and brings them to me to be customized. Q: Do you have a lot of orders? A: Right now, I have an average of one per week. I think the biggest reason why there aren’t that many It’s kind of hard because the process is too long when you have to buy the shoes and then bring them to me. I’m trying to set up a shopping thing where you can just order the shoes through my website so that it’s like one package. COMPILED BY JESSICA SHIN
NEXT MONTH: DECEMBER Holiday Choir Concert Thursday, Dec. 13 - Friday, Dec. 14
Band Winter Concert Wednesday, Dec. 19
End of the First Semester Thursday, Dec. 20
CHRIS CAI
Winter Formal Thursday, Dec. 20
Teacher Work Day - No School Friday, Dec. 21
Holiday Break Monday, Dec. 24 - Friday, Jan. 4
WEB EXCLUSIVE www.chsprospector.org Girl’s volleyball: The team celebrates a recordbreaking season and a league championship
Dr. Martens: Look into the chronicle of these fashionable shoes and their impact on students
Field hockey’s remarkable season: Staffer Youseph Pavlovic reflects on the team’s success
Fashionista of the week: Eric Chuang describes the style that makes him unique
JASON CHEN
It’s the end of the world ALYA OMAR copy editor
As we all know, the end of the world (according to the ancient, clearly reliable Mayan calender), Dec. 21, 2012 is near. I know the common process is for people to write their bucket lists far before facing their death. Then again, seeing as the face of death is supposedly the world imploding in a blazing inferno, I think normalcy is already out the window. So ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the most useless, untimely bucket list in the soon-to-be-over course of mankind: 1. Nap with a potty-trained baby koala 2. Have at least one of Paul Rudd’s children 3. Visit one of those pyramids in which people think I love 4. Meet Oprah 5. Claim my free Prius upon meeting Oprah 6. Full up a balloon with farts 7. Witness Haley’s Comet 8. Find out how he met my mother 9. Show my third grade teacher that I am not a demon 10. Beat one person in a boxing match (must get biceps first) 11. Sleep on the street for a night 12. Ride behind a total hunk on a motorcycle 13. Learn to pole vault 14. Take a money bath 15. Eat an olive 16. Learn to ride backwards on Eunice (my unicycle) 17. Build a fire 18. Ride on a tandem bicycle with someone 19. Pay taxes (just once) 20. Run through the school’s alleged underground tunnel A thousand tears were shed in the realization that my list probably won’t be completed by Dec. 21, as I’m currently years away from rippling biceps and I’ve yet to meet Paul Rudd, much less seduce him with my outrageous charm. On the other hand, it’s clear that I can make a large handful of these dreams of mine come true in a matter of seconds. The greatest and most important challenge one must conquer is finding the time to do these wonderful things, because in the end they are the only things that matter. There’s no better kick in the pants than the thought of impending doom to get one out of bed and into the routine of doing something remarkable as often one can. It’s all about taking a moment to remove oneself from the chaos, focus on what’s most important and head to Diddams to buy those balloons.