Unhelpful Thinking Traps! 1. Over-generalising You are struggling to stick to your healthy eating plan and think, “This always happens to me. Why do other people never have this problem?” This kind of thinking is defeatist. How about a more realistic appraisal such as “It’s a challenge. Nearly everyone who tries to change their diet has had an experience like this. I will only make myself feel worse by fretting”.
2. Over-personalising If a friend ignores you in the street, do you instantly ask yourself “I wonder how I’ve offended him” and not look for other possible explanations? There could be many reasons, so try not to personalise without any concrete evidence.
3. ‘All-or-nothing’ thinking Do you think that, because you are not very good at something, you must therefore be absolutely hopeless at it? Remember that things are not usually all black or all white, so make sure you look for the shades of grey in the middle.
4. Jumping to conclusions without evidence Someone comments on something you are eating and your automatic thought is “They’re thinking oh no here he goes again – on another diet”. If you find yourself jumping to conclusions like this, ask yourself “What is the evidence? What other possible explanations are there?”
5. Catastrophizing Do you regret a mistake and then go over the top with remorse? If you miss a deadline, do you tell yourself: “My boss will think this is what I’m generally like. She’ll never think well of me again. I’ve blown it completely”. This isn’t a balanced way of thinking.
6. Disowning any positives When someone admires your outfit, do you say to her “You always say such nice things” rather than “Thanks. It is nice, isn’t it? I really like it too”. Or when you get praise for a job well done, do you think that without the help you received, you would never have made it? Or do you say to yourself “Haven’t I done well? Good on me, I’ve managed it against all the odds”?
7. Saying you should or must do something when you could choose not to? Do you habitually give yourself an ultimatum in the form of “I should”, “I must”, “Always” or “Everything”? If you do this a lot, then stop to question yourself. Why should you? Is it helpful and to whom? Things are not always so clear cut. Often it is a case of “It would be nice if I could”, or “I wonder whether this is possible”, and “Sometimes” and “Some things”.
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