Mental Health Week

Interconnectedness and my big three solutions

Over a few years now, my Healthy Living column has often been tucked inside the Peak. I have shared details of the difficulties in my journey with addiction, anxiety disorder and agoraphobia.

Through the process of research and writing in a vaguely essay form, I’ve benefitted from this exchange immeasurably. If even one person has found my written ideas and experiences useful in their similar struggle, our mutually symbiotic relationship makes me humble and happy in a deep, profound way.

In the natural world, which we are intricately connected, the examples of mutually symbiotic relationships are plentiful. The bee pollinates the flower, and the flower reciprocates with the gift of nectar, which, in return, gives the energy to fulfill the bee’s role and the interconnectedness of life does its beautiful thing.

Mutual symbiosis can give us a tangible model of how functional relationships can

HEALTHY LIVING

By Robert Skender

work. Aside from the exchange of goods or services, there is an essential connection between biological life of different species. We are part of something bigger, interconnected with everything in our ecosystem. With that awareness in tow, we might treat the earth with more kindness and forwardthinking attitudes when applying our current imposing needs and technologies.

With the luxury of 20/20 hindsight, I can see over-romanticizing the idea of the “artist” alone in the wilderness, combined with an ex-

isting habit to self-medicate with alcohol or drugs, and a predisposed social anxiety, was a lethal combination in my case. That convergence of events and situations might be roughly where the cause and effect of life initially pointed me in a terrible life trajectory of self-harm and suicide ideation. Its hard to exactly pinpoint why some people can enjoy life’s social rituals in a positive and connected way, while others, like me, seem to fail tragically. However, that is unimportant right now.

Right now, the positive experiences I have found in my turn toward wellness is something to happily share in the spirit of interconnectedness.

Meditation, medication and science-based cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) are the big three factors that led me “out of the wilderness” and into the hopeful sober place I am writing from. Medication is just like any human-created technology surrounding us in our

ultra-high-tech times. It can be very helpful, maybe lifesaving, when thoughtfully and cautiously administered with the knowledge and help of a psychiatrist.

Transversely, the misuse of prescribed drugs is a modern tragedy of an epidemic size. My pharmacologic intervention was, and is, a long ongoing process. Neuroreceptors create pathways in our brains, like cutting a trail in the forest. When that trail is repeatedly used it becomes easier to hike, even if the destination is an unhealthy or dangerous place.

Medication influences neurochemicals like dopamine and serotonin off their beaten paths to show my brain better routes. It’s a causeand-effect situation between neurochemicals and actions which, hopefully, will lead to a healthy place.

Meditation, at the beginning, was like trying to climb an icy glacier in flipflops. With breathing patterns creating an introspec-

tive ease slightly distanced from automatic thoughts, the meditator tries to calm the internal scene down. Thought creates reality, negative or positive. Automatic negative thoughts (ANTS) were abundant in my unbalanced, chaotic mind.

Meditation’s role on the road to wellness is to interrupt the introspective process of thought and action and take a quiet control of self. If my chaotic, anxious mind and body can reap benefits from meditation, then everyone has hope. I was the unlikeliest candidate for prolonged mediative practices. Yet, here I am, an example that determination and perseverance can move mountains, even in flip-flops.

CBT is is essential in this information-heavy, rabbithole-littered landscape. Our thoughts and perceptions of any situation creates emotion directed responses, which often can be self-destructive when left unexamined. CBT provides a toolbox of strategies to understand

why we are so frustrated, angry or have any unwanted negative emotional responses monkeywrenching our real-time behaviour.

CBT was surpisely effective and it took place for me in a group setting that provided a social connectedness I needed and, also, some science-based certainty in uncertain times.

The foundation underneath pharmacholic therapies, eastern spiritual influences practices and western behavioual science is interconnectedness. Unlike Chris McCandless, whose life was told in the film Into The Wild, my story about coming out of the wilderness has a happy continued narrative.

With a solid strategy in place and the awareness that community is key, mental wellness is an attainable goal for all.

Robert Skender is a qathet region freelance writer and health commentator who contributes a regular column for the Peak

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Our bodies are not just where we feel anxiety, anguish and distress; our bodies are also where we access important resources that help us cope with distress. When facing emotional distress, we often push through, distract ourselves, vent to others or try to make the distress “go away.”

However, these strategies rarely work long term and we may miss important information that our emotions are communicating.

Here is a way of working with the body to support yourself during emotional difficulty:

1. Sense where the distress/emotion/stuckness lives in your body.

Imagine letting all the energy of that feeling/distress flow into that location. If that feels too overwhelming, try letting just a little bit of the energy in or try visualizing a container that is the right size/material to contain the distress.

2. Breathe alongside the

By

distress and let it know you see/sense it.

3. Remember a time when you felt most like yourself (e.g., calm, peaceful, grounded, compassionate, connected, clear, courageous, creative).

We call this felt-sense the Core Self. Stay with that memory and sense where you feel its goodness in your body.

4. Imagine that goodness/ energy flowing from the location of your Core Self toward the part of you that holds distress.

You could do this by imag-

ining colour, breath, vibrations or patterns of movement, or tracing the path between these parts in your mind. Sometimes the Core Self has words or a question for the distress (e.g., what is it afraid of?).

5. Notice what happens. Can the distress feel the goodness of your Core Self? Can these two feeling states exist side-by-side? Some people like to explore these states by drawing/ writing in a journal; others use words or visualization. What helps you listen to and understand what you need during emotionally difficult times?

Michelle Patterson, PhD, Rpsych, is a clinical psychologist with 20 years experience working with adolescents and adults, including parents and couples, first responders and fellow therapists/counsellors in hospital and university settings, as well as in private practice. She lives in Powell River.

Michelle Patterson

How to cope with unexpected loss

The death of a loved one can send you into a deep abyss of depression and guilt. After losing my grandson, I experienced the kind of grief that incapacitated me for months.

Grief is a raw, intense emotion that can prevent you from thinking rationally or acting in a civilized manner. I experienced a lot of anger, blaming and regrets. I felt powerless as the grief took over every aspect of my life. There was no amount of kindness, or well-meaning words from family and friends, that helped me. I wanted to be alone surrounded by pictures and memories of somebody I deeply loved. The pain and grief felt like an everpresent weight filling every moment of my time. There was a time when I preferred death over living. It was then that I sought help from

By Ranka Burzan

a professional. Learning to manage grief and emotional roller-coasters was a full-time job for me. Society prefers control and composure, and I didn’t have any of it.

Everyone deals with loss and grief differently.

Healing occurs at different times. Some people experience feelings of grief that do not appear to ease with time. The mental health

community calls this condition a complicated grief.

Many people with complicated grief feel extreme guilt and responsibility for the death of their loved one. They experience deep sadness and depression and may completely isolate themselves. Treating complicated grief may require additional support from professionals.

One of the first things to do when feeling grief is to recognize that it’s normal. Different cultures and societies grieve differently, but nobody should ever feel pressured to grieve in a manner that isn’t comfortable for them. If a person needs to grieve loudly and openly, that’s perfectly normal. On the other hand, some people may need to be busy to avoid the feeling of sadness and overwhelm. I fit into that category.

Many times, the hardest thing is to accept the death of a loved one. There are so many beliefs surrounding the death. Some people believe their loved one is still living, surrounded by angels, peace and happiness. Having faith can ease the pain of grieving

and help to heal.

After losing my grandson, I began a search for help from people who lost loved ones. Even though I received help from different groups, I still needed professional counselling.

Allowing ourselves to continue on and try to live nor-

mally isn’t disrespectful to those we lost. I believe our loved ones want us to be happy and well.

Ranka Burzan is a transformational life coach who lives in the qathet region. For more information, email getcoachedwithranka@gmail.com.

RICK BERGHAUSER

BA Psych, MEd Counselling Psych, CCC, Owner and lead therapist

For over 30 years, I have worked with children, parents, families, youth, adults and couples. My goal is to help people see how their way of viewing their world affects themselves and those around them. By gaining a new and clear perspective of our current and past situations, we are better equipped to move forward with purpose and direction. To connect with Rick, call 604.223.2717.

LAURA CHAN

Marriage & Family Therapist Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC)

I have been providing services for youth, young adults, couples and families for over a decade. I am a proud Métis woman who has a passion for a culturally informed, trauma sensitive, community minded approach. I work with children, youth and adults from a family systems perspective. I utilize a variety of therapeutic methods depending upon what each individual might need. My couples work involves an Integration of Emotion Focused work and the Gottman Method, which has been proven as highly effective for helping couples build better friendship, manage conflict, improve intimacy, and gain a deeper understanding of each other’s inner world. To connect with Laura, call 250.643.6100

ARNOLD MULDER

MTS-C, CCC

I have been working in the field of counselling for almost three decades. I have spent those years developing insights and strategies aimed at dealing with various mental health and interpersonal challenges from a variety of perspectives and therapeutic modalities. One of my aims is to make the counselling experience positive and supportive so that you can explore and overcome the obstacles that get in the way of you living a more meaningful and fulfilled life. To connect with Arnold, call 604.223.1212.