DVD REVIEW: “THE EXPENDABLES 3”
By Phil Seahorn January 10, 2015 OUT.FUCKING.STANDING. Finally, Stallone got it right with his “homage” to the action heroes of Hollywood back in the day. I bet that after the fight that Stallone had with Bruce Willis (his replacement, Harrison Ford, is incredible) he was forced to re access the vehicle he created with the last two “Expendables” films. As straight, almost parody laden, send ups of the Hollywood heroes that Stallone was part of back in the mid-eighties, the last 2 movies could be viewed as possible “one-trick” ponies in his latest franchise endeavor with the “Expendables”.
Stallone knew that Willis’ involvement in his (at that time) two film franchise was the major draw to the franchise in the first place. Sure, he got Arnold Schwarzenegger, but people identify more with Willis on screen (and just look at how many films the man has made since 2011 ALONE), so Stallone knew who had the “get assess in seats” juice. With Willis gone, he had to come up with something quick if he wanted to make a third movie in this already successful franchise. The fact that the second movie met with somewhat lukewarm response (but still made chedda) didn’t help matters either on the third installment of the “Expendables” franchise. Enter Wesley Snipes, who provided the action for the first 15 minutes of the movie. Excellent move, recognizing that Wesley means business coming back on the screen. The added shots of Wesley with a sword only hinted at what hopefully will be a fourth “Blade” movie. The first and second acts of the movie are scripted as a regular movie, and not even an action movie. Stallone went for what he has nurtured the last forty years: excellent script, excellent character building, and excellent introductions to not only Harrison Ford (reprising Bruce Willis’ role, but a whole new and different character) as well as the four new faces to the “Expendables “franchise. Two things put me off about actually going to see this movie: the promo picks of Wesley Snipes (the brother had WAY too much makeup on), and the ensemble picture of what, 20 or so people in the promos. Now, I’m all about ensemble writing in a movie that works ( Josh Whedon) but this many characters in a two
hour movie? And yet, Stallone pulls it off, and it works perfectly. Stallone had to call in some scriptwriting help, but he knew that the success of a “homage” franchise after two movies in the series would have to take a different direction in the third installment. Stallone had to make this a for real movie, not a genre laden movie. And with this third installment, he was very successful. Until the third act. Now, what I picked up on is this: I think that they stayed with the “more realistic, less violence and cussing” route with the PG-13 crowd because they were not actually sure that this gambit on the screenplay in the third movie would work. I’m also speculating that the ending with the more realistic approach didn’t fare well with test audiences. So, the third act of the movie is straight up crazy action shit like the first two installments. The movie almost jumps the shark with a motorcycle scene in the end of the movie. But hey, it kept the flavor of the first two “Expendable” movies (except for the rating). However, the third act also had some shit that I perceived as, well, Hollywood traditional sexism and racism. Antonio Banderas’s character must have been offensive to some Latinos, even though the other Latino character in the movie was badass. I just got a real strong “Latin Step and Fetchit” from Banderas’s character, which never really left me the entire movie. The young lady new recruit, however, is sexy and completely believable in having the ability to hand your ass back to you gift wrapped. The first two acts of the movie had her kicking ass and taking names (except for the opening
scenes of introducing her in a very mini, mini dress)which circles all the way back to the third act with Banderas actually helping her to her feet. Now, c’mon, this chick is kicking ass and beating to death motherfuckers all around her, and yet she would need a hand getting to her feet, and by the “Latin Lover” Banderas’ character, no less. C’mon Hollywood: let go, you have to let go. It’s fucking 2015 now, and it ain’t white suburban folks’ asses in seats in movie theaters anymore. Know who the market is, or Hollywood simply will not survive this new millennia and the “new” America. And of course, they end the movie has the chick again in a fucking mini dress, which lends to what Sylvester Stallone’s character says to her after she half ass hits on him, but makes the comment that it would be cool if he were 30 years younger. His response:” I would be very afraid of you”. My point exactly. Excellent movie, excellent script transition , excellent forecast of the audience and the target markets (almost), excellent homage movie ( the scene where Harrison Ford gets asked where he got his flying experience was fucking so cool), excellent stunts, and I need to find out where Terry Crewe’s trained to get his guns. Brother would make an excellent “Luke Cage” or another comic vehicle; the man’s biceps where fucking beastly. Excellent end to the “Expendables” franchise. I say this because of Stallone’s age and his involvement with the recently announced fifth Rambo movie in the franchise. And the motherfucker IS almost 70, I mean, ain’t burning bread, but shit, the motherfucker is old.
SEAHORN MOVIE METER: solid “A”, especially for shooting the cannon on Wesley Snipes’ career after getting out of prison. Mr. Snipes would do well to stay on Mr. Stallone’s good side, and not pull a “Bruce Willis”. Or worse, a “Terrence Howard”. Directed by
Patrick Hughes
Produced by
Avi Lerner Kevin King-Templeton Danny Lerner Les Weldon John Thompson[1]
Screenplay by
Creighton Rothenberger Katrin Benedikt Sylvester Stallone[1]
Story by
Sylvester Stallone
Based on
Characters by David Callaham
Starring
Sylvester Stallone Jason Statham Antonio Banderas Jet Li Wesley Snipes Dolph Lundgren Kelsey Grammer Randy Couture Terry Crews Kellan Lutz Ronda Rousey Glen Powell Victor Ortiz Robert Davi
Mel Gibson Harrison Ford Arnold Schwarzenegger