2015–16 Issue 5

CAMPUS CHRONICLE ISSUE 5 - VOL XCI - DECEMBER 3, 2015 PACIFIC UNION COLLEGE

RESOLUTION REVOLUTION PAGE 9

MIRACULOUS INJURY-FREE BUS ACCIDENT

PAGE 6

Campus Chronicle

2

Letter From The Editor

News Blurbs

By Tara Hattendorf

2015 has been a difficult year for many in our community. We have grieved for the loss of friends and loved ones, and we have each faced disappointments that no one else could understand. But we made it through the year to the Christmas season, a bright light after a year of uncertainty. Make love your Christmas gift — cherish every person in your life and find new people to give your love to, as well.

In this letter I would like to tell you about what I feel is one of my life’s greatest accomplishments. I have met many wonderful people in online communities; some I have kept in regular contact and I count as good friends. A few years ago I noticed by the way he was acting online that one of my friends, whom I knew had experienced a difficult life, was having a particularly difficult time dealing with an unloving family, depression and other issues. I didn’t know what I could do other than to write to him a few words of encouragement.

Hoping to make his day a little bit brighter, I wrote a note to my friend, basically telling him he was loved, that I knew he had a bright future ahead of him, and that he was a good person. It was a personal message and I was uncertain how he would respond to it. I sent it anonymously and told him not to post it publicly, just to remember my words.

no.5

By JJ Nash

I didn’t think about the message I sent for a while and my friend never commented about it. He seemed to be doing well, though. Then about a year later, he did talk about the message.

He wrote online that he had once received this anonymous message, then he published he text of the message — I was stunned to recognize it as mine. He said the message meant a lot to him and had helped him when he was in trouble.

A year later, he still remembered this message.

Words have incredible power. No one can force you to speak, but your words could be what someone else needs to hear. I hope that somewhere in this issue you, the reader, can find written exactly what you needed to hear to give you hope to keep going. I hope your words can make a difference in someone else’s life.

Merry Christmas.

By now, we have all heard about the attacks that happened Nov. 13 in Paris. NPR reported that after the explosions and gunmen attacks, there were about 132 people dead, and the number rose throughout the following week.

ISIS released a statement claiming to be responsible for this tragic event, according to SITE Intel. Soon after the attacks, President Barack Obama stated that the United States would be alongside France in the pursuit of the terrorists responsible.

Nov. 10, the estimated three-day process of cleaning the famous gum wall in Seattle began.

Many were sad to see the wall filled with gum vanish, but according to Emily Crawford from The Seattle Times, the wall had to go in order to preserve and protect the historic buildings in the Market District.

QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS? Email thhattendorf@puc.edu Editor-in-Chief Tara Hattendorf

Fitness & Sports Editor Malek Sheen

Assistant Editor Taylor Pittenger

Opinion Editor Glorianne Besana

Layout Editor Taylor Smith

Copy Editors Emily Mathe Kevin Tran

News Editor JJ Nash Features Editor Janet Morales

Faculty Advisers Lynne Thew Michelle Rai Cover Photographs Sophia Kwon Grace Romstad Tara Hattendorf Taylor Pittenger

vol. xci

Christmas Charity Project

By Glorianne Besana On Nov. 6 the Student Senate was presented with the Christmas Shoebox Charity Project Bill, a bill proposed by Senator Dominic Young, senior. The bill requested for Senate approval for an allocation of $1000 to purchase supplies and shipping for 30 Christmas shoeboxes, which would contain basic necessities for underprivileged children around the world in the holiday spirit.

The bill was approved Nov. 18 and plans are moving forward to prepare the shoeboxes.

December 3, 2015

Saving Water on Campus Drought rates have been increasing in California, affecting not only the state’s financial bills, but also the amount of water people can use without getting billed more than they can afford. The Pacific Union College student Senate discussed during a meeting the concern that the campus was facing a raise in its water bills due to the recent statewide 25 percent emergency water usage cuts. The statewide drought is a concern for many students on campus having to cut their water usage to decrease the amount of water the college uses as a whole.

Executive Vice President Taleah Tyrell, junior, has a goal to make students aware of the problems brought by the California drought, especially with the severity it showed this summer. The Senate appeals to all students to spread awareness and encourage self-reports on water spills or any water being wasted on campus.

Several ways students can limit their usage of water is by showering in less time than usual, and remembering to turn on the faucet only when they need to while washing their hands and brushing their teeth. Following the rule “if it’s yellow let it mellow” at the toilet

Making the Most of Christmas Break Christmas break begins soon! What are your plans for Christmas break? Will it be spending time with family? Studying ahead for next quarter? Or just catching up on TV shows? To make the most of Christmas break you could study ahead for next quarter, relax, catch up on sleep and spend time with family and friends. Here are some thoughts from our fellow students on their plans for Christmas break: • “Enjoy your break, and give thanks for your family and for the year.” — Jesus Morales, sophomore

3

By Jun Chong

Save water by turning off the faucet when you don’t need it. would help, too. Since toilets use gallons of water with each flush, they can limit the number of times they flush in order to conserve water.

More ways the students can improve their usage of water on campus is to save water by not washing cars.

The Senate wants to avoid any changes that can affect their usage of water on campus and prevent an emergency water cut that could affect the students’ finances.

By Sara Toussaint

• “Spend as much quality time with the people you love the most, rest often, eat amazing food and laugh a lot.” — Ashley Balanay, junior • “I am visiting family for Christmas.

[I’m] also planning on studying for next quarter’s classes, researching graduate schools and funding, and trying to work some extra shifts.

Oh — and some well-overdue sleep.” — Victoria Wright, senior What are your plans for Christmas break?

4

Campus Chronicle

PUC, the NAD and Human Sexuality After a few tumultuous, discussion-filled years in response to the increase of civil rights for same-sex couples, the North American Division of the Seventh-day Adventist church wrote a statement on human sexuality at the NAD Year-End Meeting Oct. 29–Nov. 2. The statement, available on Spectrum Magazine’s website, was “presented not as a theological document but as one drawing from biblical teachings some practical understanding and guidelines for the Adventist Church in North America.” Dan Jackson, President of the North American Division, emphasized that the statement was not policy, leaving many Adventists, particularly those employed by the church and Adventist institutions, as well as members of the LGBTQ community, to question its implications and implementation. While the statement does not differ greatly from previous Adventist church traditions and teachings, and in a few instances is actually more progressive than prior stated beliefs, many still question the purpose of the statement.

Dr. Heather Knight, President of Pacific Union College, was on the committee to prepare the statement, which discusses point by point: biblical principles, sexual orientation and practice, nature and nurture, church attendance and Christian fellowship, church membership, leadership roles, employment, educational institutions, facilities use, marriage ceremonies, healthcare ministries and the misnomer “transgenderism.”

In an instance of progress for the Adventist church, the statement acknowledges under the header “Sexual Orientation and Practice,” that “individuals may experience same-sex orientation through no choice of their own.” The statement, however, treats human sexuality more conservatively than the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision this year to legalize same-sex marriage. The NAD statement says, “In harmony with biblical teaching, we affirm that sexual relationships are to be celebrated and endorsed only within the context of heterosexual marriage between one man and one woman,” then

no.5

By Tara Hattendorf

citing specific biblical texts from which that view developed.

This NAD statement is not dissimilar from the stances of other Christian churches. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints says in a document on same-sex relationships, “Sexual activity should only occur between a man and a woman who are married. However, that should never be used as justification for unkindness. Jesus Christ, whom we follow, was clear in His condemnation of sexual immorality, but never cruel. His interest was always to lift the individual, never to tear down.” The Roman Catholic Church holds similar views on same-sex marriage and treatment of people.

The NAD statement emphasizes throughout the various points, “Followers of Jesus, regardless of their views on alternative human sexualities, treat people with dignity and respect and extend hospitality and grace to all.”

Leticia Russell, Assistant Professor and First Year Academic Success Program Coordinator, commented about the statement, “Jesus was known for spending time with the marginalized and for spending time with those for whom His company was a comfort. Although this document starts with being kind to people, it immediately deviates into defining the interactions that we can have with people who are different than we are in a very limiting way.”

an enduring pattern of romantic or sexual attraction to one or both genders, and sexual behavior or activity,” saying that the “attraction to someone of the same gender may be temptation, but not an act of sin.” Full and active participation and membership in the church, on the other hand, necessitates conforming to “biblical teachings about sexual behavior,” meaning church members should have only heterosexual relationships.

As PUC’s Student Association President, senior Nic Miller attended the NAD Year-End Meeting and was present during the discussions about the Statement on Human Sexuality. “I’m proud of the church because they are recognizing that maybe people are born this way; it’s a step in the right direction,” Miller said. “For the way we treat people, there is so much work left to do. … I wish that these statements would not talk so much about the logistics about dealing with gay people in the church, but rather how to effectively and compassionately love people who are different than you.”

LGBTQ-identifying students at PUC expressed disappointment at the new statement.

Sophomore Matthew Nuñez said, “It personally offended me because I don’t consider myself straight or heterosexual, and if I ever fell in love with a man, I would no longer be able to get married in my home church without fears of getting the loving and accepting pastoral staff at the church in unnecessary trouble — all because Adventist church staff were told to no longer participate in gay and lesbian weddings.

At PUC and other Adventist institutions, it’s important because this is basically a slap to the face to the LGBT+ community, who already struggle to fit in with Adventist lifestyles and their personal journeys with God.” Miller said, “What I was thinking about when we were making these comments during discussion is, how do these guidelines for inAdhering to traditional Adventist views on teraction affect our students on the PUC camhomosexuality, the statement “differentiates pus? Is what this policy says going to make between sexual orientation, which denotes these people feel more safe? Is it going to make

“Followers of Jesus ... treat people with dignity and respect and extend hospitality and grace to all.”

vol. xci

them feel less safe? Is it going to make them feel more comfortable or less comfortable being who they are?” He continued, “If we have LGBTQ students here, and they don’t feel safe or comfortable, then we are absolutely doing something wrong. If what our church says is love, and what our church says is right, and this is how we are supposed to treat people, yet those expressions are making people feel unsafe and uncomfortable, then that is a problem.”

Similarly, employment in Adventist organizations and institutions similarly requires that members be consistent in beliefs and practice with Adventist beliefs, including the views espoused in this statement on human sexuality.

Furthermore, the statement says, “Seventh-day Adventist Church employees are not to officiate, perform, or have an active, participatory role in same-sex wedding ceremonies. Attending a same-sex ceremony is a matter of personal conscience and should be considered with discretion.”

December 3, 2015

school years, that it is okay to be a gay student on campus. How can someone who is an employee of PUC be present to support those individuals without at the same time coming to appreciate them and their experience more deeply with each one of those interactions, and have a greater understanding of what it’s like for them to be both gay and Adventist? That understanding, those shared experiences and the stories we hear do change my perspective and my heart.”

They continued, “One of the things we say is it’s ok to be here; we must treat each other kindly. ... The employee is in a difficult position, where it seems they are not allowed to have that reaction. As we listen to each other’s stories and we listen to one another’s experiences, we are drawn to a greater understanding and empathy with one another. That’s what human experience is all about. It seems that this statement is going against natural human experiences. The statement is almost not allowing us to go on a journey with each student and understand their experiences.”

One LGBTQ student at PUC required being nameless in order to comment on the situation out of concern for their family members’ positions within Adventist organizations. “To start, I think the fact that I am tethered to anonymity not only for my own (job) security and protection, but also for that of my family members says more than anything else about what the NAD statement means for those of us living in precarious situations,” the student said. “As a gay student at PUC in a committed and monogamous relationship with full intent to marry my partner come graduation, I cannot fully put into words the kind of fear reading the NAD statement struck into me.

One PUC staff member, a strong supporter The best way to describe it would be as though of all LGBTQ students on campus, had many a massive guillotine were hanging over myself, questions about the purpose of the statement my employers, my family and my partner; the and its relation to employees of the church. string of which could be pulled at the discre“What does this mean for me as an employ- tion of any old-fogey in the glass fortress that is ee? PUC in its diversity statement says that the General Conference.” we welcome all students,” the staff member The student continued, “I have always felt said. “Our president, Dr. Knight, has publicly not only a calling but a responsibility to act as said across multiple occasions across multiple best I could as an optimist to keep hope alive

“This is basically a slap to the face of the LGBT+ community, who already struggle to fit in with Adventist lifestyles and their personal journeys with God.”

5

for those — especially those younger than me — who are in my situation of struggling to balance faith and sexual orientation. But I have to be completely honest that reading the statement did more than anything to this date to really break not only my heart but also my spirit.”

A point of contention about the statement is the committee that wrote it, which did not include any LGBTQ input. Miller said, “If we’re writing statements and policies about gay people in the church, then it’s probably a good idea to have gay people involved in that statement. It’s a document created by heterosexuals about something that they don’t really understand.” He also said, “Critical thinking is inviting different perspectives to the table and saying, ‘You are a gay person in our church; what do you think about what we’re writing?

How does this policy affect you? How does it make you feel? What is something that we’re missing?’ If we don’t have that, then we end up with this document, which in paper and in theory is fine, but when you try to put it to practical use, it doesn’t work.”

Miller concluded about the statement, “We can have beliefs, values and doctrines, but if we can’t implement them with love, then are we really doing what God wants us to do?”

Read the full NAD Statement on Human Sexuality here: http://spectrummagazine. org/article/2015/11/02/breaking-adventist-church-north-america-approves-sexuality-document

6

Campus Chronicle

The 777 Christmas Miracle: No One Injured After Bus Crash On the seventh of November, at the end of the seventh day of the seventh week of school, Pacific Union College might just have received its Christmas miracle early: around 7 p.m. the PUC bus was in a collision involving two other motor vehicles. While the PUC bus was headed home on Silverado Trail after spending a day feeding the homeless in San Francisco and trying to do the Lord’s work, a truck in the oncoming lane was approaching. While the truck was about to pass an intersection, another driver perpendicular to the truck either didn’t stop at the stop sign or thought they were making a safe right-hand turn. They weren’t.

“A car pulled out in front of a southbound truck, causing it to flip,” said Robert Paulson, professor of physical education at PUC and driver of the PUC bus during the incident.

“We were headed northbound and [the truck] flipped and came into our lane. … The back end of [the truck] made contact with the bus. I slammed on the brakes and tried to swerve out of the way.”

The truck rolled furiously on its side toward

It was midmorning in Manhattan when I received a confusing text message from a coworker. It simply asked if a close friend of mine was “safe” in Paris. Safe? Confused by the choice of words I started scrolling through Twitter to see if anything notable had happened in Paris. I was not prepared to see the live news coverage of the Nov. 13 attacks, and even less prepared to confront the fact that I truly did not know if my friend was safe.

Thanks to Silicon Valley entrepreneurs, my friend was able to “check in safe” in Paris within minutes of the attacks. The Facebook development team, led by founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg, launched the “safety check in” tool in October 2014. The tool had

By Malek Sheen

the bus like it was about to transform into Optimus Prime. “The [truck] started doing barrel rolls,” said Devin Donovan, freshman. “The truck did two and a half barrel rolls, and Dr. Paulson, the great super bus driver he is, took immediate action and he pulled the bus to the right because he saw the truck coming.” On the bus, someone in the front yelled as the bus was about to collide with the truck and Paulson yelled to the passengers to brace for impact.

Even though the bus veered off the side of the road, the truck made impact. The back of the truck was destroyed and the front windshield on the driver’s side of the bus was taken off. “It’s about $50,000 to repair the front of the bus,” said Gilbert Lutes, senior, who works at PUC Plant Services.

After the crash, “Daniel [Arriaza] raced out of the bus and ripped off the door of the truck to help the guy inside,” said Mekenzie Sperber, sophomore.

The driver of the tumbling truck was Catholic and had been on his way to Mass, but he couldn’t communicate with any of the EMTs

The Internet’s Aid to Paris

no.5

The PUC bus is hit by a flipping truck in an injury-free accident Nov. 7. The bus and students were returning from feeding the homeless in San Francisco. Photo by Nikki Neumann. or firefighters because he only spoke Spanish. However, everything worked out because Spanish professor Cristian Pancorbo Cruz was on the bus and translated for him.

People often say that God doesn’t do miracles anymore, but maybe it’s just that people can’t see them anymore.

By David O’Hair, former Campus Chronicle Editor-in-Chief

been used on five previous occasions during natural disasters, but its activation for Paris became the first time is had been used to assess terrorism activity — a depressing milestone for the tech giant.

Immediately following the attacks, the Internet experienced one of the largest occurrences of social media triage. Across all platforms, several attempts to aid victims went into action and seized the world’s bandwidth.

In search of empirical proof ? Within 24 hours of the attack, more than 4.1 million users had “checked in safe” using Facebook’s tool. To give that figure numerical context, Paris’ estimated Immediately following the Paris attacks Facepopulation in 2015 is roughly 2.34 million. book had a check-in feature Parisians and tourThat means Facebook’s tool helped citizens, ists could use to alert family they were safe.

December 3, 2015

vol. xci

tourists and residents of cities close to Paris alert the world that they were safe and alive.

On Twitter, two prevailing hashtags emerged: #rechercheParis and #PorteOuverte.

Those tags translate to “search Paris” and “open door,” respectively. While scrolling through Tweets to find out a loved one’s status is less efficient than Facebook’s method, the tag still gen-

erated more than 64,000 Tweets by the morning after the attacks. Astonishingly though, the “open door” tag, which helped victims locate a safe shelter, had reached more than 1 million mentions within 10 hours of the attacks. That means if a victim was on Twitter, then they in theory had over 1 million safe house options in Paris.

Healthier Holiday Treats

Low-Fat Gingerbread Cookies • 3 tablespoons un- salted butter, sofened • 3/4 cup packed brown sugar • 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce

• 1 egg • 1/3 cup dark molasses • 3 cups all-purpose flour plus

more for dusting • 1 teaspoon baking soda • 2 teaspoons ground ginger • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon • 1/2 teaspoon allspice • 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves In a large mixing bowl beat the butter, sugar and applesauce until smooth. Add the egg and molasses. In another large bowl combine flour, baking soda and spices. Add to sugar and molasses mixture. Divide the dough into two flat

Gym Regimen

Just glancing at these numbers, it is undeniable that the Internet made a devastating day just a little easier. Whether it helped a mother locate a child, alerted a victim of a possible safe haven or informed all victims that the world was with them, the Internet helped.

By Andrea James

balls; cover with plastic wrap and chill in the refrigerator for at least 2 hours. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Generously dust the surface of your working area with flour before rolling out the dough. Work with one ball of dough at a time, and keep the other refrigerated while you do so. Roll the dough out to 1/4- or 1/8-inch thickness. Sprinkle a little flour on top of the dough if it’s sticky. Use cookie cutter of your choice. Place cookies 1–2 inches apart on a baking sheet. Bake 10–12 minutes. Makes about 48 cookies.

Healthier Sugar Cookies

• •

7

• 1 1/2 cups un- bleached all-purpose flour • 1 cup whole wheat flour 1/2 teaspoon baking powder 1/4 teaspoon salt

• 1 cup granulated sugar • 10 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened • 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract • 2 large egg whites In a bowl, blend together the flours, baking powder and salt. In a separate bowl, beat together the butter and sugar, then mix in the vanilla extract. Next add the egg whites. Slowly add the flour mixture to the butter mixture. Divide the dough in half, form into balls, wrap in plastic wrap and chill in the fridge for an hour.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Roll the dough on a floured surface to about 1/4-inch thickness. Cut out shapes and place them 1 inch apart on parchment paper on a baking sheet.

Bake for seven minutes or until light brown.

By Janet Morales

After months full of note taking, studying for tests, researching and writing papers, this quarter is finally coming to an end. However, somewhere during this quarter, your workout schedule might have taken a hit. School has taken over your time and the little free time you have, let’s be honest, is for napping or catching up on Netflix. With colder months approaching, it’s not uncommon for many to stop hitting the gym. So, why not start getting

back on track now so you’ll be in shape just in time for spring?

Caressa Kasperbauer, a junior pre-med and business student, and Raul Alvarado, a senior nursing and emergency services major, are both fitness enthusiasts. These two students shared a few tips for getting yourself back into shape for the coming year and winter quarter.

Try this routine: Alvarado: “Anaerobic exercises for winter: I like to do intervals and circuits on the track which involve running on the track. On one corner, push-ups and on the next I’ll do lounges, sit-ups and jump rope. Sprint from one corner to the next. Do this for two miles. This makes you work harder and it also burns a lot more fat. I always end with core exercises.”

Kasperbauer: “Crossfit workouts, 50 reps

8

each set. Start with 10–15 minutes of cardio.

Get heart rate up make sure the resistance is high. Twenty-fie bodyweight squats, 15 lounges, and 10 push-ups then start weight lifting.

Forty minutes total.”

Best post-workout snack: Alvarado: “Zeal protein shake and wellness drink.”

Kasperbauer: “Soy and vegan protein shakes.”

Campus Chronicle

no.5

a salad with almonds and pistachios and lemon juice instead of dressing. For a snack — hummus and pita chips.”

Kasperbauer: “I stay away from dishes or meals that have a lot of bread and cheese, and stay away from sugar. Do a ‘cheat meal’ not a ‘cheat day.’ For a snack, hummus and crackers from the Pacific Café. If you have a better diet you have more energy at the gym.”

When to hit the gym: Alvarado: “It’s prioritization. I could sit What’s for lunch? down and watch a show or I can get my butt Alvarado: “During winter, avoid carbs — up and workout.” eat more vegetable and fruits. Avoid sugars. I Kasperbauer: “There is always time you just usually eat from the wellness or sandwich bar. have to manage your schedule. Use your proStay away from the pizza and the burgers. I like crastination time to work out.”

How to Get into the Christmas Spirit (Courtesy of the Neighborhood Holiday Committee) It’s the holiday season, the happiest time of year! It has come to our attention that, due to rampant commercialism, increasingly cynical world views and the slanderous rhetoric of heretics, Christmas morale is at an all-time low, so we present this helpful guide to holiday happiness.

Green and red are the official colors of the Christmas season; your interior decorating, events and wardrobe should reflect this. It is not a strict requirement that you color-code your life in such fashion, although rejecting the established color scheme may disturb or upset the general holiday atmosphere. Please be considerate of your neighbors, and help maintain the aesthetic symmetry of our beautiful neighborhood.

Decorating your house is a fun activity for the whole family. Some start as early as October and any variety of decorations can be used, including but not limited to: wreaths, mistletoe, lights (both standard lithium and colored are acceptable), wire animals (preferably “Christmas-themed” like reindeer, although exceptions will be made on a case-by-case basis if an

Left: Kasperbauer goes through her gym routine in the weight room. Right: Alvarado, along with being active in the gym, is a member of the PUC Cross Country team.

By Jonathan Salvador

alternate decoration is deemed funny by the citizens’ council), fake snow, elves, sleds and/ or birth of Jesus dioramas. Official guidelines don’t specify how brightly lit an individual house must be, although “Can it be seen from space?” is a fairly reliable standard. There are no strict deadlines for Christmas decorating, although decorations are prevalent enough that you are generally expected to have taken some notable decorative measures by November. If you have not decorated by this time, a neighbor will appear at your door to give you a friendly reminder. Also keep in mind that holiday decorations left out all year do not carry over, and that any decorations left more than a month after Christmas are rendered inert.

Christmas caroling is a great way to spread holiday cheer, and your community will greatly appreciate your musical services. If you encounter someone who asks you to leave or closes the door, continue singing as normal for 30 minutes or so. Then file a “humbug” report to our central office.

According to a recent change in policy, cactuses are no longer considered valid Christmas trees, nor are “Mele Kalikimaka” or “Feliz Navidad” considered legitimate Christmas songs,

as Christmas music must be both lyrically and sonically Christmas-themed, as per definition.

Home Alone and Die Hard have also been removed from the list of “Christmas Classics” due to inappropriate content.

We believe that the most important part of Christmas is family, which is why every family must now host a required three Christmas parties: one for the nuclear family, one for the extended family and one for work friends. Those who do not have a family or cannot afford a long distance visit will be issued a temporary substitute. A traditional Christmas dinner includes turkey or tofurkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce, apple or pumpkin pie and an assortment of vegetables such as carrots or turnips. Alterations to this basic formula should be minimal.

Statistics indicate a growing number of unbelievers in the Christmas spirit (the terms “Grinch” and “Scrooge” are popular descriptors.) So far, psychological studies have not yet identified a cause for this condition. There is, however, a safe and proven method of interaction with these individuals. If they ask, “Why do people celebrate Christmas?”, simply reply, “Tradition.” If they ask, “What is the point of

December 3, 2015

vol. xci

Christmas?” answer, “It’s the season of giving.”

If they ask again and/or continue asking similar questions, answer “happiness,” “joy” and then “Christmas Spirit,” in that order. If they inquire further, beat them over the head with a giant candy cane.

Telling children under the age of 7 the truth about Santa is a major violation of committee policy and is punishable by up to 24 hours in solitary confinement with “Santa Baby” playing on a loop.

Those who refuse to abide by the “mistletoe rule” will be buried under a pile of red and green Hershey’s kisses, and their life turned into an ironic cautionary tail told to children.

Those who have not bought a Christmas

calendar by Dec. 1 will be mailed one with the word “pain” written on every day of the week, followed by a severed reindeer head every day following.

Failure to attend your local Christmas pageant will result in a strike on your record. Three strikes and you will be issued a harness so you can pull Santa’s Sleigh on the day of the Christmas parade.

Homemade gifts hurt our local economy, thus relying excessively on homemade gifts will result in a “homemade” rock through your window.

The most important thing to remember during the holiday season is to smile. It is after all, the happiest time of the year.

Resolution Revolution After the faint wafts of peppermint settle in the air and the brisk breeze carries season tidings into a new year, we have the annual opportunity to think back on 2015 … and that dreaded list. No, Santa has already made up his mind. But now, it’s time for you to make up yours. Just as arbitrary as leaving perfectly edible cookies out for a seemingly superhuman stranger, the resolution list is ingrained in our very being — often followed by an uncomfortable groan of obligation.

The classics are the gym, the class and the “girl.” We tell ourselves that it’s only been 12 months since we last set foot on a treadmill.

There are always classes next quarter to get an A on, or to pass or to retake. She’ll see me after break; that’s when I’ll talk to her. Love at at second sight.

We’re good at waking up on Mondays and imaging how Friday will feel. We’re good at thinking of summer vacation in the dead of winter. We’re good at planning ahead. So why is this list so deplorable? Why do we hate the idea of resolutions? The harsh truth is, we hate change. More specifically, we hate change that we aren’t sure we can achieve. We like what is sure, solid — what we can reach out and grasp.

But that’s not festive at all! It’s the holidays! It’s time to drown ourselves in lattes and oversized

9

Old Christmas Photo Feature: Tori Barr, freshman, and her family.

By Aaron Jebb Hernandez

sweaters, not in existential crises. Save that for the beginning of winter quarter.

But I’m not sure we should give up on resolutions so resolutely. We spend our fast-paced lives making and breaking promises — especially when it comes to the turn of the year.

So much so that it’s easy to get into a habit of hopelessness. But there’s a whimsy in believing in something. It’s a certain whimsy that college students seldom exhibit.

The solution? All-year resolutions. Seemingly the exact opposite of what one would think if the problem was the sadness that inevitably comes from realizing that you haven’t gotten anything done in the entire year. But you have.

You got through another year of trials, tribulations and Miley Cyrus. You made it through (almost) the end of the quarter. You woke up today! We spend so much of our time thinking ahead of the curve and setting up our next successes that we forget how far we’ve come.

At the very core of the New Year’s resolution is a want to be better. We want to wake up knowing that what we’ve done and what we’re going to do matters. These resolutions are the pinnacle of the hope that can be lacking in our lives. Just believing that we can change throughout a year is, sometimes, motivation enough. Sure, claiming that you’ll climb Ever-

est by 2016 can be a little radical (but feel free to prove me wrong). You do climb Everest everyday, if you let yourself.

Think of yourself at the same time last year.

Two years ago. Ten years ago, if you’re brave enough. I shudder at the idea of myself in the eighth grade; I used to skip drying my luxurious mullet of a hairdo and slop on my Vans hoodie before rolling to class. I thought I was cool. With every single change we want, we need to acknowledge just how much change we’ve been through already.

You woke up today! You’re better than you were two days ago — even if you don’t feel it — because you’re here. Right now, you’re here.

Your insides are a flourishing field of wildflowers! You may not have gotten everything done in the past year that you planned on doing but just think of all the things you didn’t plan.

Think of all the last-minute road trips and early morning french fry runs. Think of that sick season of Game of Thrones you just finished.

Think of that A+ you totally did not expect to get. If we spend just as much time appreciating how much we’ve changed as we do on what we want to change then, maybe, we can take back the resolution.

10

Campus Chronicle

no.5

Conservatives Show Concern Over Disappearance of Snow for the First Time: The Red Cup Controversy

By Nick DeChicchis If you’ve been on social media at all over the past few weeks, you have probably noticed that a blank red cup has sparked controversy around the Internet. It all started when Starbucks released their new cups for the holiday season. Although at first glance these simplistic red cups appear to be harmless, a closer look allows you to see that Starbucks is doing everything it can to offend you and your religion.

In past years, Starbucks included on the cups nativity favorites such as snowflakes, presents, Christmas trees and ornaments. However, as Christians are becoming the oppressed, shrinking minority, Starbucks has drawn the last straw by giving in to the “politically correct.” Our fearless leader Donald Trump has weighed in on the matter stating, “No more ‘Merry Christmas’ at Starbucks. No more. … If I become president, we’re all going to be saying ‘Merry Christmas’ again.” Until that day comes, all we can do is pray the blatant religious discrimination away.

All jokes aside, the red cup controversy is so ridiculous that it is hard to pinpoint whether or not the entire controversy is a joke.

Recently, a new Internet trend has surfaced where users of websites such as Reddit and 4Chan stir up fake and absurd controversy and

promote it with a hashtag. Recent examples include the Back to the Future day mix-ups and #BoycottStarwarsVII, which started after false claims about lack of white representation within the film.

With trends like this occurring so often, you might think that this is just another hoax created by Internet trolls, but you would be wrong. The origin of the red cup controversy comes from a viral Facebook video by social media personality Joshua Feuerstein, titled “Starbucks’ War on Christmas.” In his video, Feuerstein argues that Starbucks has “caved into political correctness,” and even lies, stating that in past years, Starbucks has included the word “Christmas” on the cup. The most ridiculous part of this entire dispute comes from the fact that past holiday cup decorations never included any religious symbols and instead only used religiously ambiguous winter-themed designs. In the past, any design related to Christmas even in the slightest came from the pagan traditions of the holiday rather than from Christian traditions.

The outrage from not being represented on a single cup shows the egocentricity within Christian culture. In a country that is a melting pot of culture, the only religion that

The Curious Case of Leftovers Five million tons. Ten billion pounds. According to Worldwatch Institute, America produces an extra five million tons of food waste per year between Thanksgiving and New Year’s. Family parties and community dinners promote multiple supermarket trips within a span of two months. The fear of not having enough food is in every person’s mind causing them to make large purchases, some of which

The 2015 Starbucks holiday cup on the left versus the 2014 cup. Photo from Getty Images. ever seems to be represented is Christianity.

Yet the one time that their religion isn’t personally catered to, extremists break into hysterical fits. Other holidays around this time, like Hanukkah and Kwanzaa, get little to no representation, whereas with Christmas comes movies, music and decorations everywhere.

This calls to question: Do we as Christians feel secure enough about our beliefs that a red disposable cup won’t make us feel threatened?

By Eryn Pongs

are destined for the garbage can. In order to cut back on this waste, Worldwatch Institute compiled a list of helpful tips for conserving and re-purposing food.

When shopping, prepare a list ahead of time and stick to it! Make small calculations of food per person for a streamlined idea of approximately how much will be eaten. Stores excel in the promotion of impulse buys, however with

a thorough list anyone can survive the supermarket.

If there is an abundance of food that cannot possibly be eaten, consider donating it to a soup kitchen or food bank near you. They vary on rules and regulations; however, some will pick up the extras from your home. This is a good way to spread the love of the season with people that need it most.

December 3, 2015

vol. xci

A natural way to re-use leftovers is to create your own compost. This method returns nutrients to the soil, doing wonders for the garden, and the ground will accept food in any stage of decomposition without complaint.

Last but not least, if you desire a more entertaining way to see the leftovers re-used, contact your local zoo. They may be able to make use

11

of the veggies and meat for the animals, who would be undoubtedly grateful.

Whether Christmas dinner is a table for two or twenty, leftovers will always appear. This is the year to be creative and put them to good use in the spirit of the season!

During the holiday season, don’t waste food you won’t use, instead find ways to make it useful.

How to Make Your Paycheck Disappear: A List of Christmas Gifts to Give By Taylor Pittenger One year for Christmas, my older brother opened one of his presents from me. He shook the wrapped box and asked, “Is it a puzzle?” I shook my head and told him that he could use it while he was in college. Then to his surprise, he unwrapped a box of cereal. Needless to say he didn’t like his gag gift. Every Christmas he reminds me to never give him cereal as a present ever again. Since then, I’ve perfected the gift of gift giving. Here is a list of presents you can give to your friends and loved ones this year.

Parents Instead of buying an expensive gift for your parent(s), you could create a spa kit. It can be as simple as going to Bath and Body Works and getting something premade, or you can personalize it for your parents. You can add things like Chapstick, candles or candy. Make a kit with lots of small things in it that they could use to relax.

Another idea is working together with your siblings and pay for a couple’s spa day for your parents. It can be a small way to show your appreciation to the hard working people that pay for your tuition.

Significant Other Getting presents for your significant oth-

er can be tricky especially if this is your first Christmas together. My advice is to ask your significant other if they want anything specific for Christmas. If you get “I don’t know” or “surprise me”, then that’s a green light for going cheap! Something that can be fun and easy is printing out pictures of the two of you and framing it. You could write a message on the frame about a memory or letting them know how great the year was with them. It’s a simple and sweet gift for the one you love.

Not that sappy? Buy them clothes (with a receipt).

Friends If you have a large friends group where you love everyone just about equally, try to get a gift that you can get multiples of. Food is an easy gift, especially if it can’t melt or go bad.

This time of year, Target has cute prewrapped candy that you can give out to your larger friend group.

Then in secret, give your best friends expensive gifts from their favorite TV shows/movies.

Siblings Socks.

Grandparents Remember when you were four and you

Find meaningful gifts for your loved ones and warp it well. Photo by Emily Mathe. used to make your grandparents random crafts? The truth is, grandparents still love that.

This time, use the power of the Internet. Google basically any “how to” and make it. It may not be as beautiful as it is in the picture, but they will love it.

In all seriousness, be intentional when you go Christmas shopping. A pet peeve of mine is when people buy gifts without really thinking about the other person in mind. At the end of the day, give a gift that you think that person will either use or cherish. And don’t buy them cereal.

Campus Chronicle

12

no.5

From Diogenes Motion Pictures: Surviving the Holidays

https://youtu.be/in2tQLLsO0E

Do you create? Send your videos to dmp@puc.life!

T

N

O T DISC

U

Complimentary

CHEDDAR BISCUITS

C

with appetizer of entrée purchase.

S

U

EN

%

TR A VIGNE

DI

ST

D

25

AT LONG MEADOW R ANCH

Applies to food on bar menu only.

(707) 942-5938 1457 Lincoln Ave, Calistoga, CA

Facebook: PUC Campus Chronicle

(707) 963-4555 738 Main St, St Helena, CA Fall quarter only.

10

O

UN

%

T ON

D

JOLÉ

PIZZERIA

O

FAR MSTEAD

FO

(707) 967-9999 1016 Main St, St Helena, CA (Not including tip, alcohol and beverages.

While classes are in session.)

Twitter: @PUC_Chronicle

Website: chronicle.ink