Don’t Live Your Life on a Timeline

By Erin Smith

“Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. How do you measure, measure a year?” I think about those lyrics from the movie, “Rent,” often. 2020 has been a year filled with tons of different emotions. Sometimes it feels like days are running together. Time feels like it’s moving fast and slow at the same time.

It makes me question: how do you measure success? How do you measure happiness? Oftentimes we set deadlines for the things we want to happen in life before considering the amount of work it takes to get to that milestone.

“I have to graduate college in 4 years.”

“I want to be married by 30.”

“I need to retire by 40.”

While there is absolutely nothing wrong with speaking things into existence or manifesting the things you want in life…you shouldn’t live your life on a timeline.

Everyday Black people are breaking barriers and showing us that it is never too late to live your best life. Kelly Rowland is pregnant at 39; Viola Davis was 43 when she started receiving breakout roles; Samuel L. Jackson got his first starring role at 46; Kamala Harris met the love of her life at 49; and Morgan Freeman was 52 when he started appearing on the big screens.

If there is anything 2020 has taught us, it’s that life doesn’t always go according to our plans. Sometimes you have to pivot or take a detour. You have to learn to adapt to change. There are many reasons why we chase success.

You may want to retire because your job stresses you out. You might have goals to break generational curses. Or maybe you’re tired of your family asking when you’re getting married during the holidays. Truth is, we shouldn’t try to meet unrealistic “deadlines” created in our heads. We shouldn’t chase the dreams that someone else sets for us. And we definitely shouldn’t want to live up to the expectations placed on us by a society that was not built with today in mind. If we’re being realistic, there are probably situations around us that should have changed but didn’t. Things change and people evolve on their time.

While it may seem cliché to say, “Age is nothing but a number” when it comes to dreams and accomplishments. We can’t attach ourselves to strict expectations when we still have life to live. We have to allow ourselves room to grow and make errors along the way. Getting a degree at 30 feels just as good as getting it at 22. Having a baby at 40 will make you just as happy as having a baby at 30. Ultimately, it’s not the age that makes the event memorable. It’s the experience.

No matter how you define happiness, it’s important to remember that it isn’t linear. Happiness is a journey with high peaks and low valleys. As you grow through life, things that once mattered will no longer make a difference. Celebrate each milestone that you reach along the way, whether big or small. There is no race to the finish line when we’re all just trying to survive.