QMessenger Issue 52

Issue 52

“Wow guys”: The end of an era The second Sabb interview.

Page 4

Monday January 16 2012

QMessenger looks at the bid to grant Tower Hamlets city status. Page 5

Moral or sexist?

Does moral censorship distort our view of female sexuality? Page 7

The Newspaper of Queen Mary Students’ Union

Students say no to assisted suicide » Only 32% of students questioned would give a diagnosis that would allow patients the ‘right’ to die

Chris Smith MPs should not change the law on assisted suicide in favour of terminally ill patients, despite a report released this month by The Commission on Assisted Dying, according to a survey of QM students.

The report chaired by the former Lord Chancellor Lord Falconer, and partially funded by Terry Pratchett, recommends a legal framework on how a person diagnosed with less than 12 months to live may commit suicide as long as strict conditions are met.

However, two thirds of medical students surveyed at Barts and The London said that, when qualified, they would not agree with diagnosing a patient as having less than 12 months to live, which would allow them to end their lives.

Several students commented that, while an end of life diagnosis is usually accurate, people will continue to defy statistics and live past that; assisted suicide would take away this extension of life. New cures and therapies could also be released which could significantly improve a patients quality of life.

“This issue will not be resolved any time soon”, Professor Richard Trembath, Dean of Medicine at Barts and The London told QMessenger. “[Assisted suicide] is contentious and very emotive to so many people.” The Ministry of Justice said that is “a matter for

parliament to decide rather than government policy.”

The report’s recommendations stipulate that two independent doctors must be satisfied with the diagnosis and that the patient is aware of all of the social and medical help available, able to make the decision voluntarily, not acting under the influence of mental illness an is able to take their medication without help from others.

The current law holds that assisted suicide is punishable by up to 14 years in prison. However since new guidelines two years ago, the Crown Prosecution Service have turned a blind eye to over 30 cases. While these recommendations would clear up a very ‘sticky’ area of the law, it would not benefit all.

The conditions are narrow and would not benefit cases such as that of Daniel James, who was paralysed after a rugby accident and chose to end his life at the Dignitas clinic in Switzerland.

The validity of the report has been questioned because it was funded by supporters of assisted suicide and nine of the 12 members of the commission already supported a change in the law.

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68 % of medical students said that they would not diagnose a life expectancy of 12 months or less under the proposals

The report by Lord Falconer recommends a framework on how a person with less than 12 months to live may commit suicide. Image by sparrowsfall by Flickr(cc)

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QMESSENGER MONDAY JANUARY 16 2012

News

Editorial Team: • Executive Editor - Sam Creighton vpcommunications@qmsu.org • Managing Editor - Caz Parra editor@qmessenger.co.uk • Sub-Editors - Robert Pritchard, Maria Sowter and Lauren Mason proof@qmessenger.co.uk • News Editors - Rosie Reynolds, Kaamil Ahmed and Ariane Osman news@qmessenger.co.uk • Comment Editors - Kashmira Gander and Stephanie Rankin comment@qmessenger.co.uk • Satire Editors - Ben Richardson and Aaron Barber satire@qmessenger.co.uk • Sports and Societies Editors - Shafi Musaddique, Hollie Carter and Ashley Sweetman sport@qmessenger.co.uk • Photography Editors - Keeren Flora and Bethia Stone photography@qmessenger.co.uk

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The Cloud How you fit into the news.

Prime Minister David Cameron has decided to tackle the problem of excessive salaries for company bosses by allowing shareholders to decide what they should earn.

NUT and NASUWT, the two biggest teaching unions in the UK have rejected a government lead pensions scheme in order for it to be improved.

Alternatively find us on facebook.com /QMessenger twitter.com/QMessenger

UCAS has said that there has been a late increase in the number of university applications despite fears that students would be put off by the trebling of fees.

QMessenger is printed at Mortons of Horncastle Ltd, Media Centre, Morton Way, Horncastle, Lincolnshire, LN9 6JR. Tel: 01507 523 456. Each issue has a print run of 1,000 and costs £445 to print and deliver.

Established in 2008, QMessenger is the free weekly newspaper of Queen Mary Students’ Union. We are proud of our editorial independence and endeavour to always hold the College, Union and external bodies to account and to provide the best news and analysis to the students of Queen Mary, University of London.

QMessenger is created entirely by students and the publication retains all copyright of design, text, photographs and graphics, along with the individual contributor.

Any views expressed in QMessenger section are those of the individual writer and do not necessarily reflect those of the paper, the editorial board, Queen Mary Students’ Union or Queen Mary, University of London.

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In this digital age of ours it would be remiss forusnottokeepaneagleeyeonouronline presence. So, here are the best messages tweeted @QMessenger this week. @QMessenger look at my side profile pic over there >>>>>>

Looking forward to the @QMessenger party on Monday 23rd!

@QMessenger so many rumours about @QMSU elections already, I wish we had a QM Gossip Girl xoxo

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Spaceflight magazine has said that the American X37B space plane is spying on rival China, although the Pentagon has refused to discuss the mission.

The Leverhulme Trust’s Major Research Fellowships in the Humanities and Social Sciences has awarded £600,000 to Queen Mary, which will enable the university to increase its number of original research projects.

By Ariane Osman Images by: NUT by Image Charles Hutchins (Flickr) Students Image by Flag by Luke Montague (Flickr) Aircraft Image by Guru Sno(Flickr) Steven Hawking Image by Alvaro Herrera (Flickr)

Accident leaves local child dead Bryony Orr A fifteen year old boy was pulled from the Limehouse Cut Canal last Wednesday evening after apparently falling in. He was pronounced dead at around 8pm at the Royal London Hospital. The youth, the oldest sibling in his family, was reported to have been one of three people in the canal, while another person involved in the accident is still missing.

The bridge on Upper North Street was cordoned off to make way for four fire engines, three ambulances, and several police cars and vans. Officers from the marine policing unit were in attendance along with firefighters from Millwall fire station.

Twitter exploded with speculations

over the cause, as a crowd gathered around the crime scene near Thomas Road.

Passers-by voiced their concern for the families of those involved. One eye-witness told QMessenger that a police officer had said that they suspected the accident to be gang related.

However, the police say there were no suspicious circumstances.

The accident occurred close to the location of the incident in October, which saw a 17 year old boy shot in the back on East India Dock road.

A spokesperson from the Metropolitan Police said that officers were investigating the incident and were awaiting the results of a post mortem examination. The death currently remains ‘unexplained’ and next of kin have been informed.

The emergency services responded quickly to the accident. Image by Bryony Orr.

The famous scientist Stephen Hawking missed the symposium to mark his 70th birthday last week at Cambridge University due to health problems.

An amateur astronomer in Paris has managed to capture images of the failed Russian Mars probe Phobos-Grunt which is due to fall to earth in the next couple of days.

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QMESSENGER MONDAY JANUARY 16 2012

News

Two booze-free days QM study could »

Adults encouraged to keep at least two days a week alcohol free

help thousands of MS sufferers Aamna Mohdin

Students following the recommendation would be limited to three club-nights a week

Nathan.F via Flickr

tee admits they are sceptical about “Alcohol guidelines are a crucial providing daily guidelines, instead tool for government in its effort to noting the health benefits of “drink combat excessive and problematic Adults should have two “drink free free days.” drinking. It is vital that they are updays” a week, says a new report “I think that it is fair to ask peo- to date and that people know how from the Commons science and ple to do it because there are clear to use them” Committee chairman technology committee. The report health benefits to letting your Andrew Miller MP told the BBC. released last week, also notes “con- body recover from drinking” says The Institute of Alcohol Studies cerns” with the Government’s cur- second year Biochemistry student estimates that around 42% of men rent alcohol advice and calls for a Harry, “As with exercise and revi- and 22% of women, aged 18 -24, “thorough” review of evidence in- sion you have to have breaks to re- exceed the recommended weekly volving the health risks associated fresh yourself but I think that this alcohol limit and that “more than with drinking alcohol. advice is going to fall on deaf ears. half” of young people view drinkThe current Government guide- .. I think if they want to get people ing positively, saying that it inlines suggest that adult men to start drinking less they should creases their confidence. should not regularly drink more be trying to change the culture of A student bar at Sheffield Unithan three to four units and day drinking, not alcohol itself... binge versity recently drew criticism afand adult women, two to three drinking at home is the cheapest ter an 18 year old girl was hit by a units. The numbers are based on option.” bus, puncturing a lung and receivresearch conducted in the 1990s, The committee, made up of 11 ing serious head injuries, after atwhich suggested a link between low MPs from a range of parties, found tending a 10 hour, £1 a drink event. daily alcohol consumption and re- awareness of existing guidelines “For [a] students’ union to be putduced coronary heart disease mor- was “high”, but public understand- ting on events that make alcohol tality. Evidence now suggests that ing of the guidelines and the units cheaply available is grossly irreany protective effect would only system is “lacking” and “very lit- sponsible and I think it should be apply to men over Programme 40 and post- Adtlev2_Layout evidence” exists to suggest the stopped” Pub8922 Spring 1 06/12/2011 16:13 Pagesaid 1 the area’s Director of menopausal women, the commit- guidelines have been influential.

Public Health.

Alexander Badrick

What’s happening in g?

QM Careers this Sprin Got an interview coming up, or attending an assessment centre?

We are running practice sessions led by a range of employers.

Interested in hearing from people working in areas including politics, human resources, and marketing?

You can find out about a range of different roles first had at our panel discussions and networking sessions Not sure what to do next?

Book to see a Careers Consultant to help look at your options.

For full details visit www.careers.qmul.ac.uk or follow us at www.facebook.com/qmcareers or www.twitter.com/qmcareers

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A new study from researchers at Queen Mary, University of London has revitalised the controversial debate on the link between EpsteinBarr virus (EBV) and multiple sclerosis. The study sheds new light on what role the virus may play in causing the debilitating disease Multiple sclerosis (MS).

100,000 people in the UK are affected by MS, a neurobiological disease that damages the nerves in the brain and spinal cord. Symptoms include trouble with muscle control, balance and vision.

The epidemiological link between EBV and MS is well accepted within the field; however there is a contentious history on whether the EBV drives the inflammation of the central nervous system associated with MS. A group of Italian researchers previously published a report in the Journal of Experimental Medicine in 2009 which suggested a strong correlation between EBV and MS. However, scientists were unable to repeat the finding in subsequent attempts.

The new research suggests that the association between EBV and MS may be more “sophisticated” than thought. EBV tricks the immune system into triggering inflammation and cause nerve cell damage in the

brain. The post mortem brains of MS patients were studied in the new research and the results were published in the journal Neurology.

The team found that the virus, though inactive, was releasing a chemical signals made up of RNA molecules into nearby areas within the brain, which lead to inflammation as the body’s immune system was activated.

Dr Ute-Christiane Meier from Barts and the London Medical School led the “potentially very exciting research”. She explains: “Now we understand how EBV gets smuggled into the brain by cells of the immune system and that it is found at the crime scene…We may have a number of new ways of treating or even preventing the disease.”

This paves way for new research to treat and possibly cure MS. Rituximab, a widely-used cancer drug, is being trialed as a potential treatment. Further research using anti-viral treatment at Queen Mary is being prepared by Professor Gavin Giovannoni and colleagues.

Although the study team identified latent EBV in 100% of their samples, the researches acknowledge that more than 90% of the general population already carry the virus.

The study’s effort to understand the role of EBV in MS is arguably both helped and ahindered by how widespread the virus actually is.

Tower Hamlets Miliband praises child poverty the Living Wage worst in country at Queen Mary Kaamil Ahmed

Kaamil Ahmed

Child poverty in Tower Hamlets is worse than in any other part of the country according to new research by the Campaign to End Poverty.

Rushanara Ali, the MP for Bethnal Green and Bow accused the Lutfur Rahman, the Mayor of Tower Hamlets of wasting money that could have been used to tackle unemployment in the borough.

More than half the children in Tower Hamlets live in households that earn less than 60% of the national average income.

Ali called for nearby Canary Wharf and City of London firms to do more for local people by offering jobs and paid internships that could help ease the problem of child poverty.

The work of CitizensUK in its Living Wage Campaign, and its success at Queen Mary, has been praised by Labour party leader Ed Miliband.

“Every day, you take action to change communities for the better, from the CitySafe initiative to campaigning for the Living Wage. Thanks to you, the cleaners at the Queen Mary University are earning a Living Wage.”

The University has become an ambassador for the campaign having done the research that made it possible and becoming the first campus to offer all its workers a living wage in 2006. The campaign aims to ensure that all workers are paid the Living Wage of £8.30, over two pounds higher than the minimum wage.

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QMESSENGER MONDAY JANUARY 16 2012

News

The second Sabb interview: “Students need to remember that they have power”

From left to right: George Ryan, BLSA President; Oscar Williamson, VP Education and Welfare; Sophie Richardson, President; Sam Creighton, VP Communications; Dom Bell, VP Student Activities.

Image by Bethia Stone As full time officers, the Sabbs’ dai- to work out the sports development general development of the union,” think is worth putting in the manifesCaz Parra tos; what the union’s good at or not so ly work has changed the Union in dif- plan has been good and when that says Sophie Richardson. As somegood at, how it relates to real life and ferent ways. So, what are they expect- starts coming into action that will be one who’s been at QM for six years, ing of those who are to be part of the good.” His regrets include not having she says the Union has come a long One term down, two to go. Time in how they will do their job.”

Vice President Education and Wel- team next year? “I would say we could developed societies earlier in office. “I way. “I think the direction of the unoffice flies by. Just under a year ago, our current Sabbs were asking for our fare, Oscar Williamson, has already do with someone to be a strong cam- kind of realised late what needed to be ion is in the right direction and I think votes with manifestos filled with ide- started thinking about his successors. paigner”, Dom Bell asserts, “not just done, so some of the things that I could that’s something that’s really positive” as for a better Union. Now, with only “In the medical school, they have the from a community background but have done are going to be done by this Our President confesses that there has a few weeks until this year’s elections, secret book that one of the Sabbs start- someone who has some sort of knowl- March, and could have been done a bit been a lot of things she’s been disaped years ago and they all hand down, edge or experience themselves of what quicker.” pointed with, however her biggest disthey have a busy term.

Sam Creighton seems pleased with appointment has been losing the tuDom Bell, Vice President Student but everyone knows about it and it it is to contribute to community life the way in which QMedia has devel- ition fee vote. “We had the biggest Activities is looking forward to a dif- isn’t secret. I’m going to write a secret and how to get students involved.”

Sophie Richardson is particularly oped “If you go back to when I arrived political demonstration the country ferent type of election. “I’m looking book for Education and then probaforward to my campaign,” he says, bly a much slimmer one for Welfare excited about the split of the VP Wel- four and a half years ago we were a uni- had seen in years and I think for QM “although it’s your campaign too ob- but it’s all a secret, so shut up.” Wil- fare and VP Education into two differ- versity that had a magazine that came students, we’d gone from being quite viously.” He’s referring to the London liamson spent some of last term work- ent positions “I hope there’s going to out monthly. Four and a half years lat- an activities focused union to all of a mayoral race and more specifically ing on issues of engagement with the be two really passionate and dedicat- er we’ve got a magazine, a newspaper, sudden having all this political activthe London Student Manifesto, which Union. Talking about the upcoming ed people that fill those positions, par- a television station and a radio sta- ism on campus.”

It’s been a good year so far, but with students in London will use to engage elections, he says “I will try and get as ticularly with welfare because I think tion, we’ve won four awards at regionwith the candidates and persuade many people to run as possible. Try it’s fair to say that that’s normally the al and national levels when we’ve nev- six months to go we ask the Sabbs them to focus on student issues. The and get some science and engineering forgotten side of the VP Education er won awards at Queen Mary before what message they’d like to leave us campaign also would see QM turned types to run, so they can have one of and Welfare.” She thinks the most im- and we’re read, watched and listened with. “Personally I want to thank eveinto a polling station, which should theirs in here rather than just human- portant quality is passion for the job, to by students across London and ryone. It sounds really cheesy and “and whatever responsibilities come across the country, let alone on cam- these are going laugh, but without the help with student with election partic- ities and social science people.”

George only needs three words to with the role you’re running for. You pus. So that’s what I’m most proud of.” students being involved and supportipation. “Everyone becoming politically active, that’s exciting. I mean, stu- tell us what he is most looking for- can learn about the sector and about However, he laments the fact that he ing us we wouldn’t be here” says Sodents haven’t been voting for forever ward to this term: “National MedSoc whatever things that job entails but hasn’t been able to fulfil all his mani- phie Richardson.

“Students need to remember that really, whether it’s elections or wheth- Conference”, he says smiling. “In case you have to have passion, you have to festo points. “I wish I had more time to er it’s real world, so hopefully we can you haven’t heard, BL won the bid to want to change things and to improve concentrate on more things, but, alas, [they] have an awful lot of power to create a massive turnaround in voting host the national MedSoc Conference. the lives of students.” Vice-President there are only so many hours in a day.” change the shape and the direction George Ryan is all about team work. of the Union if they don’t like the way MedSoc is the equivalent of what BL Communications Sam Creighton adds numbers.”

President Sophie Richardson says is at other universities. I’ve just started “I think that goes for Part-Time Offic- He is especially pleased with how he’s something is going,” says Oscar Wilworked with his SPC: “ Your efforts are liamson. “There are a lot of ways they that while the QMSU elections sig- getting in the applications from people ers as well.”

Having been in office last year, most multiplied when you’ve got other peo- can get involved other than Council, nal the “beginning of the end” of her who want to be part of that. I’m realterm in office, she is looking forward ly excited to do it because the poten- of our Sabbs have to leave QMSU at ple on board who are committed and and Course Reps and running to be a to seeing what ideas people will bring tial to attract sponsorship for such an the end of this year. Oscar Williamson passionate because they can enable full time officer, they can just speak to forward during their campaigns. “The event is huge. Depending on how well and George Ryan are the exceptions - you and help you out with the things the Union and organise things themselves and do whatever they want rebuzz on campus around elections is al- our committee runs and depending on they technically could run again, ac- that you do”.

Oscar Williamson is happy to have ally, it’s their organisation.” ways exciting”, she says. Following on how hard everyone works we can put cording to regulations. We ask the While the four boys are all heading Sophie’s comment, George Ryan, The a really good weekend together next Sabbs what have been their greatest “saved the dyslexia funding along with Barts and the London President, com- September, but obviously all the plan- successes and disappointments so far. Shaun [Ramanah, the Disabled Stu- back into educations, politics isn’t over Dom Bell takes pride in the way dents Officer]”. He is also hoping to yet for Sophie Richardson who has her mented “I think working in a union ning has to happen this year, in the eyes set on the Vice Presidency of the and knowing how it works, it will be next couple of months. I’ve really got that sport has been led so far: “I think do more this term.

“I think so far [I’m pleased with] the NUS. Watch this space. what’s been done behind the scenes interesting to see what the students to get my teeth into it.”

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QMESSENGER MONDAY JANUARY 16 2012

Newsfocus

Tower Hamlets could become a city »Petition asks Queen to grant city status on Diamond Jubilee » Borough’s bid to become a city has a good chance

City status is seen as the next step in regenerating the East End

Rosie Reynolds The East End made a controversial bid last month to become a city in its own right. The petition, which has been signed by Tower Hamlets mayor Luftar Rahman as well as the governor of the Tower of London and Canary Wharf’s strategist, pleads with the Queen to grant Tower Hamlets city status in the year of her Diamond Jubilee.

The bid, if granted, would mean that if someone was to walk a mile through the centre of London, they would technically be walking through three cities - the City of London, Westminster, and Tower Hamlets.

Many feel that city status would be another step in regenerating the East End in the same year as the Olympics. “Tower Hamlets has come of age,” said Mayor Rahman. “Our petition is a reflection of the diverse area that we want to showcase to the world, putting the borough at a level with the City of London and City of Westminster.” The official proposal for city status describes “the heart of London, moving East.” The East End and Docklands has become a centre for world business. It would seem that there has never been a better time to celebrate Tower Hamlets, its achievements and its history.

Canary Wharf’s strategy advisor Howard Dawber said: “Tower Hamlets is like the West End and should have the same ‘city’ status. It is central to Britain as a nation. The empire was built through the East End over the centuries with trade in and out

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of its riverside wharves and docks. It makes sense to become the third linked city along the Thames, side-by-side with the Square Mile and Westminster.”

However, despite the uplifting rhetoric of the mayor, official documents and local businessmen, the bid is not without controversy. Tower Hamlets was famously described by a senior Labour official as an ‘Islamic Republic.’ The mayor, Luftar Rahman, was deselected by the Labour Party after allegations were made about his links to the Islamic Forum of Europe. He won the mayoral election as an independent, and controls Tower Hamlets’ £1.3 billion budget. Reports were made about CDs of extremist Islamic sermons being handed out to council workers as part of a council-sanctioned display mounted in the Town Hall.

There were also unconfirmed reports of plans to spend hundreds of thousands of pounds on “Islamic arches’ - or “hijab gates” - at either end of Brick Lane. One resident told the Daily Mail in 2011, “You basically have a large Islamist umbrella group that appears to have a stranglehold over a major council in the East End of London”.

Some critics seem to think that Tower Hamlets’ bid to become a city is simply another way to segregate itself. One rumour that has been doing the rounds for years is that Tower Hamlets is looking to implement Sharia law. Six months ago the Daily Mail reported that an Islamic extremist group - the same peo-

Image by Bethia Stone ple who burned poppies at Remembrance Day parades - were campaigning to testbed Tower Hamlets for a blanket Sharia law within the UK. According to the Mail, if the group got their way then Tower Hamlets would be able to operate entirely outside normal UK law.

While there is no way that Sharia law would ever be forcibly implemented in the East End or anyway else, some people fear that Tower Hamlets’ city status would simply be a step on the way to complete independence from London.

However, there’s no denying that Tower Hamlets is a special place in its own right. Jim Fitzpatrick, MP for Poplar and Limehouse, described it as “a reflection of Britain and the Commonwealth.” It first the first settling place for the French Huguenots in the 1500s (which is why many of the street names around Brick Lane have are French). It was a settlement for Jewish people fleeing from Eastern European persecution at the end of the nineteenth century. Russian radicals evading arrest came here in their droves, and Lenin and Trotsky stayed in Whitechapel on numerous

occasions. The first Chinatown wasn’t in Soho - it was in Shadwell mainly because of the large tea trade that operated from here. In the 18th century East London experienced an influx of black North American slaves, who had been expelled from the US for fighting in the Civil War. From the late 19th century, a large African community settled in Canning Town, primarily due to new shipping links to Africa and the Carribbean. Tower Hamlets is now the largest concentration of Bengali people in the world outside Bangladesh. The face of the East End is constantly changing, along with the trades, skills and businesses new people bring with them.

It was in Bow that Sylvia Pankhurst formed her breakaway division of the suffragette movement, The East London Federation of Suffragettes. The East End was also the birthplace of poor laws. Charles Booth conducted his study of poverty here, which led to a reform of welfare laws across England and Wales. It was in the Docklands that union workers Ben Tillett and John Burns unionised to demand and end to casual labour in the docks, as well as

Becoming a city It used to be that a place had to have a cathedral to be considered a city. However, now factors like population, cultural history, and economy are taken into accountthe holding of city status doesn’t carry any special rights, but nonetheless it carries its own prestige.

Tower Hamlets already has a

mayor and a unitary authority - two things which usually only conferred cities have.

Towns are usually conferred as cities to mark special occasions like coronations, investitures or jubilees. Brighton and Wolverhampton became cities to mark the Millennium in 2000.

a minimum wage. The philanthropist Angela Burdett-Coutts was first active here, and set up the Ragged School Union and the London Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, which eventually became the NSPCC. East London has a rich history, but none of which is as celebrated as the Blitz. East Enders suffered a terrible onslaught from Hitler’s Luftwaffe - beginning on the 7th September 1940, the east End was bombed for 57 successive nights - and the first airborne bomb dropped on Britain fell not far from QM. East London was targeted not only because it was a centre for imports and a place for storage of raw materials, but also because German strategists thought that British support for the war could be wiped out by targeting working class people. Tower Hamlets suffered its fair share of tragedies, and anyone who has used Bethnal Green underground station will have seen the wreaths laid there for people killed during a stampede when it was being used as a bomb shelter.

Becoming a city would be a great achievement for Tower Hamlets. Tower Hamlets has always had strong royal connections - Victoria Park was named for Queen Victoria, and the Queen and Queen Mother celebrated V Day in 1945 in Limehouse. The coronation or jubilee of a monarch has often been used as an excuse to create a new city, and Tower Hamlets’ rich cultural history would mean that it would be a more than suitable candidate.

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QMESSENGER MONDAY JANUARY 16 2012

Comment

The Great Debate

Does censorship distort our view of female sexuality?

A week worth of calories A new report has raised concerns over whether the public actually understand guidelines on alcohol and responsible drinking. While this might seem patronising, they could have a point.

If girl is allowed to drink 2-3 units a day, then surely a couple of glasses of wine in the evening is fine? Well, actually, probably not - a pub-measured large glass of rose contains 3 units. Surprised? A pint of Stella Artois is 3 units. A shot of sambuca is one and a half units. It soon adds up. However, if health professionals want to get young people to really think about and understand their alcohol consumption, they need to change their tack.

Radio 1’s Newsbeat have an online ‘booze calculator’, where you can input what you drank last night and how much. It will then tell you not only how many units you drank and how long the alcohol will take to leave your system, but how much you spent (and how much you will spend in a year if you drink that much once a week - terrifying) and how many calories you drank. It then converts the calories into visual aids - for example, last Saturday night I drank the equivalent of a burger, a doughnut, two Jaffa Cakes and an onion bhaji. It’s this tactic that might make young people sit up and listen. It’s cool to drink a week’s worth of units in a night - but a week’s worth of calories? No thanks.

Diagnosis... murder?

Two thirds of medical students at Barts wouldn’t diagnose a patient as having less than 12 months to live, thus denying their opportunity legally end their lives. The figure comes as a surprise at a time when so many activists are lobbying the government in favour of the legalisation of assisted suicide.

Like any other statistic, it can be read in different ways. The two thirds struck us as, perhaps, an indication of the amount of med students aware of the fact that diagnostics can be wrong.

It is always going to be a very difficult and emotive subject. There are no decisions where it is more vital to be sure in your convictions than that which would either you, or someone in your care - be it patient or family member - end their life. It would not be within our remit to weigh in one way or the other in this debate, it is one of those things where each person must decide for themselves whether life is sacred or that it is the quality of life that is sacrosanct. There is no right answer, just two difficult ones.

Image by Maria D’Amico

Yes

Jess Ashman Those in favour of censoring sexually explicit material argue that they are protecting society by helping people develop healthier viewpoints regarding sexuality. However, they are encouraging the very state of mind they seek to prevent. This sort of censorship results in the denial of female sexuality.

The exploitation of the female body makes female sexuality something shameful. This is particularly damaging for young girls who find their burgeoning sexuality something alien; they may thus harbour feelings of resentment towards it, not realising that this sexuality is present in all women. They may see it as something specific to them and assume there’s something wrong with them.

Likewise, young males may also see female sexuality as nonexistent, making them feel that to be truly male they have to become overly sexual and predatory. It could also be said that male sexuality will be distorted by censorship. However, if this is the case it would be to a much lesser extent than to that which female sexuality is distorted. The male body is less censored in society as only the genitalia is considered sexual; it is perfectly acceptable to print a photo of a man shirtless but the same photo would be censored if female. The fe-

male body thus becomes something that is overly sexualised and something to be ashamed of.

Females are taught by censorship that they should hide their bodies, whereas males are taught that there is very little to be hidden about themselves. This is why we see shirtless men on the streets and we do not see shirtless women. It is not because the female body is innately more sexual – it is because censorship has conditioned us to see the female body as a sexual object.

Furthermore, censorship of the female body leads females to believe that they are not the owners of their own body. That it is not their decision whether or not to reveal themselves, it is instead the decision of others that the female body must not be revealed. Females are less able to express themselves sexually as they must hide their bodies even if they are not using them for sexual purposes. A female exposing herself becomes a sexual act in itself, rather than what she does with her body.

Censorship takes away a woman’s power to express her sexuality and allow others to decide in what circumstances the female body should be presented. It is for these reasons that censorship leads to a distorted view of female sexuality, dangerous for females and males alike.

Jess Ashman is a first year English student and an occasional frequenter of the LGBT Society.

No

Stevie Elizabeth Rankin I think it’s wise to recognise that the question is asking us to comment specifically on the representation of female sexuality, and not on the nature, existence or presence of female sexuality as an entity. That it exists is a fact, just perhaps not exactly as we see it.

The error that censorship makes is to attempt to generalise this notion of ‘female sexuality’ into a fixed state of being. The view of which is only distorted if the viewer is disconnected from the reality of female sexuality. Censorship may be accused of distorting the concept of male sexuality too - yet, again, it is merely defining it by and from a single, extreme aspect. Men are not as sex-hungry as they appear in movies, nor do women play the role of The Temptress or The Suppressed or The Naive as they do on film. Yet, if you choose to believe in what the movies tell you, it’s a dangerous game.

I see a woman wearing very little in an ad campaign; she is flaunting her body; she is a sexual being. People walk on. I see Michelle Williams receiving oral sex from her movie-husband Ryan Gosling in Blue Valentine, and society is repulsed by this supposedly amoral exhibitionism. I’m confused. Am I supposed to strip naked and then hide my lady bits be-

cause they offend thine eyes?

My understanding of my sexuality isn’t distorted by the opinions held by directors of companies and movies. I know what it is that’s going on in here. I know what is going on… down there. I don’t need you to tell me where I belong or what is too much or too little to wear. You can try to lure me in and have me buy into your chauvinistic carousel, but I won’t. My sexuality is not yours to define. And I am not, nor is any woman, only ever one of a few extremes.

Sexuality is a fluid system composed of impulses and compulsions— and, indeed, sometimes there need not be any direction to or from anything at all. It is ever-moving and ever-changing, and all this is much faster than any movie or music video can keep up with. Sexuality will never be displayed wholly and accurately through any transitory medium. If you choose to buy into the representations before you instead of observing women, real women, then you have not pondered long enough.

The ignorant blame censorship for their perspective on female sexuality, amongst other things. The plasticity of their attitudes is nonexistent. And so I blame the ignorance and laziness of the consumers of censored industries for the distortion of female sexuality - I do not blame the censorship.

Stevie Elizabeth Rankin is a first year English student, co-Comment editor of QMessenger and member of LGBT society.

comment@qmessenger.co.uk

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QMESSENGER MONDAY JANUARY 16 2012

Comment

The Eternal Princess and the sick state

What connected Princess Diana and Kim Jong-Il was the mass hysteria which surrounded their deaths, which represented the path of modernity shrouded within the enclaves of totalitarianism and celebrity.

Images clockwise from left: Day of the Dead memorial, image by John W. Sculze; flowers for Diana, image by Maxwell Hamilton; Kim Jong Il, image by www.kremlin.ru; memorial walk, image by Jennifer Boyer; North Korea, 2007, image by Gilad Rom

Sam Gentry Look at these people, these backward people, crying over their dear leader. I mean we should laugh, how ridiculous! What kind of charade is this? I kept expecting the crowd to perform some elongated version of Thriller, or some apocalyptic dance ushering in the rain – it did not come.

The cameras swivelled, a halfseeing eye shone upon their tearstrewn faces, and at last Prime Minister Blair made his proclamation: Diana was the “People’s Princess”.

Because you see, in democracies it only takes a catchphrase to make sunshine stick. Dictatorships, on the other hand, have a far more protracted popularity contest, except in their case, there is only one winner.

The death and funeral of Kim Jong-Il presented the west with a rare moment of triumph: a totalitarian nation on its knees (quite literally) lamenting the loss of its “dear leader”. We would never stoop so low. We, a civilized nation, have never worshiped the death of a personality.

What connected Princess Diana and Kim Jong-Il was not their love of landmines, or their children’s fetish for a Fascist uniform, but the mass hysteria which surrounded their deaths. Kim Jong- Il and Princess Diana’s deaths represented, simultaneously, the path of modernity shrouded within the enclaves of totalitarianism and celebrity. Diana’s funeral, or at least her mourning, delineated the consequences of the baby boom era and JG Ballard’s

concept of “the death of affect”.

People of Great Britain, born after World War Two, had “never had it so good”; they had never seen a war domestically or regionally. Notions of crises during the cold war were abstract and were never tangible.

Moreover, the birth of television enabled an individual to project the horrors of war into their living room without experiencing any of the reality. Television and global journalism set the point in the reconstruction of the awareness of space and time, a famine that is happen-

“

TV enables an individual to project horrors into their living room without experiencing the reality

”

ing abroad can now happen in our homes dislocating our sense of space. We may know the geographical distance but our awareness of it fragments once it enters our lounge.

This is a western phenomenon and what Diana represented, along with celebrity in general, was an attempt to locate a narrative into people’s lives – to imbue it with structure – away from the discontinuities of global events.

The cult of Kim Jong-Il offers a fascinating parallel to that of Diana, as they both inspired extremes

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of public hysteria but for entirely different reasons. It is worth mentioning that Kim Jong-Il was merely the General Secretary of the Korean Workers Party. His father, Kim Il-Sung, is still the President, the “eternal president” despite him being dead for seventeen years. The manic displays of emotion in North Korea, upon the death of Kim JongIl, show spectacularly the effects of propaganda upon a population from its birth.

We realize now that some of the displays of mourning were purely for the camera, as lack of appropriate emotion, at said time, can result in death, but the populace as a whole showed quite genuine displays of grief. Primarily this is a result of the totalitarian controls on North Korean people.

Since birth they have been imbued with Kim Il-Sung and Kim Jong-Il’s greatness – supposedly the latter hit twelve holes in one on a golf course, was born on a mountain underneath a double rainbow as well as, lest we forget, creating a new star which ascended to heaven. The Daily Mirror certainly couldn’t have concocted a birth of that magnitude.

North Korean people have no access to the outside world, the few black market mobiles are not disseminated widely among the populace - any information they do have is a result of carefully controlled state television and radio.

The most interesting point, with sistently, with violent or sexual imregards to this, is not why North agery. When a real encounter with Korea laments the loss of its lead- the macabre or the profane does er (this much is self-evident) but present itself in the flesh the reacwhy such large chunks of the Brit- tion to it is entirely debased and scenes outside Buckingham Palace are a testament to this.

These are the foundations of the death of affect, but paradoxically it doesn’t so much represent the death of affect, as Diana’s mourning was so affected it was an engagement in mass hysteria, which can be likened to the masses of North Koreans tearful at the death of their leader.

Their emotion, however, is far more justified and far more justifiable than ours. We can sneer at the ish people indulged in the death spectacle - the droves, regimented Princess Diana. North Koreans and bedraggled - but their emotions have been indoctrinated since they have been controlled and tempered born, any emotion they showed was in a way unseen by any civilization. reflective of the emotion they were The hysteria over Diana’s death was taught to show. We in Britain like completely unjustified, considering to think as though we are a haven of the circumstances. freedom of speech, and press – even Like North Korea we have are the royal-loving press – cannot be own indoctrination, the internet blamed for the hysteria which and continuous twenty-four hour surrounded the death of news cycles satiates any feeling of Diana. What the death empathy we could have for a person of Diana represented or a situation until we can discard and still represents is a human tragedy with the flick of a the profoundest de- switch. In the age of modernity the cay of emotional interac- death of 100 men is merely a statistion in a nation. Violent tic - a little red ribbon that circles video games, hardcore the bottom of our television. pornography, internet Kim Jong-Il’s funeral was a specusers’ unrivalled capaci- tacle of compulsive outcry; Diana’s ty to access any video, no an artificial engagement in the matter how morally or death of a celebrity. ethically skewed it may be, mean that an aver- Sam Gentry is a second year Politics age teenager throughout student. his day is saturated, con-

represents “Diana the profoundest decay of emotional interaction in a nation

”

9

QMESSENGER MONDAY JANUARY 16 2012

You’ve Scot to be kidding!

Comment Hain: Labour planning grass roots innovation

Chris Smith

Mann Virdee

I don’t understand Scotland. No, I take that back. I don’t understand Alex Salmond.

Salmond is demanding the impossible. The impossible is not that Scotland becomes independent, but that Scotland should run the referendum.

Scotland is still part of the UK and governed by its constitution. Under the Scotland Act 1998, the Scottish Parliament was barred from passing measures affecting the UK constitution. This means that while the issue is close to the hearts of the Scottish, the rest of the United Kingdom is entitled to a say. The structure is already in place to deliver a referendum via the UK Electoral Commission.

Salmond is insistent on a referendum in 2014 with multiple answers.

The deal offered by the government is a single yes-no answer referendum.

Michael Moore, the Scottish secretary, confirmed that Salmond needs Cameron’s permission to hold a referendum. Yet Salmond is shouting and stamping his feet.

His spokesman claims that “the terms of the referendum will not be dictated by the UK government: those days are over.” I find this offensive. It implies that the UK government is a dictatorship, seeing every decision as a negotiation. That all Scottish people are under Cameron’s thumb and the only way to assert their freedom is through independence.

Salmond’s TV appearance on Sky News came across as panicked. Johann Lamont, Scottish Labour leader, said he revealed it on Sky News because if the debate went on in Westminster, he wouldn’t make the news. I agree.

The Shadow Secretary of State for Wales, Peter Hain MP, recently gave a speech to the Queen Mary Labour Society on the ‘Refounding Labour’ review.

Mr Hain, who is a Queen Mary alumnus, was asked by Ed Miliband to write a consultation paper looking at how the Labour Party could work at regaining voters’ trust after having grown out of touch.

The proposals given in the paper amount to the most significant reorganisation of the party and its structures since 1918, and will be implemented in full.

In the speech, which was attended by the Principal, Professor Simon Gaskell, Mr Hain said that it was important to look back to Labour’s traditions as a communitybased grassroots party, where the voices of individuals are always valued.

He cited the marginal constituency of Birmingham Edgbaston as an example where grassroots campaigning had helped return the Labour MP, Gisela Stuart, in the 2010 General Election. He said the grassroots movement needed to spread across the country if Labour is to return to power.

To help achieve this, Labour will rewrite Clause 1 of its party constitution to emphasise that it actively seeks to make “communities stronger through collective action and support”, rather than just being focused on winning elections.

Moreover, in an effort to open up the party, non-party members, or ‘supporters’, will be given a vote in future Labour leadership elections.

It is estimated that the number of these supporters will be in the region of “tens of thousands”. By doing this, Labour hopes to tackle the problem of being a party that has started looking inward rather than outward too often.

Noting the success of Obama’s 2008 campaign, Mr Hain added that the internet, and in particular, social network-

Chris Smith is a second year studying Biomedical Cciences, is a member of the hockey club and a QMSU Student Representative.

Alex Salmond is pushing hard against Cameron for his vision of the Scottish referrendum.

Image via Saul Gaurdillo via Flickr(cc).

Diane Abbo : Twi er’s latest victim Zubair Suleman Social networking sites such as Twitter and Facebook prize themselves on their ability to expose the lives and misadventures of politicians and celebrities.

In particular, Twitter has become a platform for celebrities to share their views with their enthusiastic followers. It has the capacity to throw a spotlight on even the slightest of foibles. Mindless typing can prove to be costly for celebs with the ever expanding audience these sites provide.

Among Twitter’s latest victims is MP for Hackney and Stoke Newington, Diane Abbott, who, during a conversation on Twitter about the Stephen Lawrence trial, tweeted “White peo-

ple love playing divide and rule, we should not play their game.” This primitive and uncalled for generalisation about white people does nothing but incite hatred toward the white community, causing further disunity.

Abbott was forced to apologise by Labour leader Ed Miliband who condemned the comments. However, some argue that an apology is insufficient and she should have been sacked from her role as Shadow Health minister immediately. If these comments were made by a white politician in regards to the black community, a resignation or sacking would have been inevitable. Hence Tory MP Nadim Zahawi argues that Mr Miliband’s reaction is not enough to address her discriminating remarks.

Tensions among the black com-

munity are high following the Stephen Lawrence trial. Gary Dobson and David Norris were sentenced to a total of 29 years in jail for the widely publicised murder of Mr Lawrence in 1993. However, in light of recent events, leaders should aim to consolidate communities rather than entrench racial divides.

Overall, racism still exists within modern society and it would be foolish to suggest otherwise. But it is essential that communities come together to eliminate racism at all levels.

As Martin Luther King stressed, one should not be “judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character.”

Zubair Suleman is a second year Geography and Economics student.

ing sites, can play a bigger role in Labour’s future campaigns.

Mr Hain, who studied Economics and Political Science at Queen Mary in 1973, also explained to the society how his anti-apartheid activism during his formative years led him into a career in politics.

He went on to say that this anti-apartheid campaigning, and his time as Britain’s Africa minister, meant he had formed close links with Nelson Mandela.

He concluded the event by signing copies of his new biography entitled, Mandela: The Story of a Universal Hero.

Mr Hain’s speech at Queen Mary came less than a fortnight after one from Andy Burnham MP, Shadow Health Secretary. Mr Burnham told members of the Queen Mary Labour Society he intended to step up his ‘Drop the Bill’ campaign, in order to stop cuts to the NHS, and prevent a top-down reorganisation by the Coalition.

Queen Mary and The Barts and The London Alumnus Peter Hain is a Queen Mary Alumnus and flew to the top ranks of the British government.

Other successful ex-students include the singer of Iron Maiden Bruce Dickinson; J.D. Ballard, the recently deceased author of Crash and Empire of the Sun; T.V. Scientist Robert Winston who has worked to improve fertility treatments and American Fox News anchor Bill O’Reily.

Mann Virdee is a second-year Natural Sciences student and President of the Labour Society.

comment@qmessenger.co.uk

10

QMESSENGER MONDAY JANUARY 16 2012

Comment I’m looking forward to seeing the elections from another perspective Sophie Richardson President

Happy New Year to you all! I hope mester is going to be one of our best you had a good break and have come yet with such a wide variety of ways back ready and raring to take on the for you to get involved. On Tuesday next semester. It’s going to be an- 17th January in Francis Bancroft 1.13 other hugely busy 12 weeks for us from 5:30pm we’re hosting our anhere at QMSU with lots of exciting nual Refreshers Fair, where you’ll opportunities ahead, including, cel- be able to get a better idea of everyebratory events, elections, the Lon- thing your Union has to offer, includdon Mayoral Elections, Student Vol- ing Club Sport, Societies and Volununteering Week, Go QM (our Olym- teering. pic-themed celebration event), a I am particularly excited that it’s big International event, Postgradu- election season once more and since ate events and more. I think this se- this is the first election in years that

I am not a candidate in I’m looking forward to seeing elections from a different perspective. I’m hoping for our biggest turnout yet, both in terms of candidates and voters, so if there is something you’re passionate about changing on campus or you have a vision of the future of the QM student experience then you want to see come true then you should certainly consider running for one of the many positions that are up for grabs. I am more than happy to an-

swer any questions you may have about the roles so please do get in touch, particularly if you’re interested in President, VP Education or VP Welfare as I have held those positions and so have a good idea of the roles and what they entail. Email me at president@qmsu.org or pop in to the Blomeley Centre.

T’rah for now, Sophie @PresidentQMSU

You have to grab opportunity by the horns and wrestle it to the ground George Ryan BLSA President

Hello everyone, welcome to 2012 the Association (BLSA) President. year of The Griffin.

What I have enjoyed most about beMay I begin this column by giving ing BLSA President over the past acyou all very warm welcome back to ademic year is the diversity of the East London, I hope you are all well different roles and responsibilities th rested and come back with renewed at the position has afforded me, and vigour for your studies whatever they could do you too. may be, Medical, scientific or otherFrom doing a cheery lecture shout wise. out in the morning to being on a ‘FitElections are the hottest topic of the ness to Practice’ panel in the aftermonth of January, more specifical- noon, my role requires a huge shift in ly who will emerge victorious as next mentality over a very short period of year’s Barts and the London Student time. My first four months of being a

sabbatical officer has been the steepest learning curve I have yet encountered.

I work with so many different people, from students to Professors to managers, all with extremely different personas and hugely different demands.

I work very long hours, and at times being BLSA president is a massively demanding job and I find myself thinking on my feet a lot of the time.

All of the above are very similar characteristics needed when you are practicinsg doctor. It is for these specific reasons that I could not recommend the job of President of BLSA more to students.

I’ve met a lot of incredibly driven students in this job. What separates the driven students from the great students is who decides to step up to the challenge, take it by the horns and wrestle it to the ground like the bronco it is.

Event-packed term will culminate in March’s major regulation overhaul Dom Bell VP Student Activities

Apologies in advance for the ste- nal year projects.

First, this term is all about elecreotypical January blues but it’s a daunting time. One real term to go tions and I know that is going to and make something happen, and swallow a lot of people’s time. On with so much going on it’s going top of that are multiple flagship to be hard just to keep up. May- events – The Awards and Honours be I’m being a little dramatic but Ceremony, the brand new Sports when I came back to work a week Awards Dinner, the brand new Inago I had the feeling I was prepar- ternational Event. On top of that is ing for a mountain climb. Perhaps the priority campaign, the London some of you final years feel the Mayoral Campaign, where the goal same about dissertations and fi- is to get candidates to recognise

the students’ demands and getting students from all over London to vote. On top of that is the major regulation overhaul happening in March. These are just the major things. There’s a lot more going on besides.

So if I get through this term having managed all this I’ll be proud of myself. However, I think there’ll still be some disappointed people out there. I think even after this

year there is still a long way to go, especially for Societies. That whole sector really needs developing. Some of the rule changes coming in March will make a big difference (if they get through) but not until next year. The new student centre due to come next year will also make a big difference.

But these long-term milestones just show that we need what’s happening this term to shine.

Do humanties subjects offer the transferable skills degrees promise?

Oscar Williamson VP Education & Welfare

I saw an interesting report the other day that tracked sixth formers’ attitudes of towards university finds that, compared with a year ago, twice as many students are rethinking their choice of degree in favour of something that will make them ‘more employable or will lead to better job prospects or a higher salary.’

The report also suggests the shock of £9,000 fees fades once applicants have set their sights on university,

but that employability becomes in- that I could directly apply to the real creasingly important. By the time we world. I realised that I had picked the leave here, we need to be employable. wrong course, and that I should have The career prospects and employabil- just done history with economics, so ity page on the QM website lists var- it’s my fault for picking the wrong ious transferable skills, such as good thing. But I wasn’t alone in wanting communication and the ability to re- ‘hands-on’ material. Modules perhaps search. But we also need transferable more at home in the Economics department or Business, such as politiknowledge.

I did BA International Relations. I cal economy, dealing with the impact found much of the course too theo- of politics on oil prices, or on the relaretical, and I wanted to learn things tionship between inflation and unem-

ployment. Breaking the world down into different disciplines might be a good way to organise a university but no job outside of academia sits neatly in ‘history,’ ‘maths.’

A BA is intended to teach transferable skills. But when I look at medics, dentists, law students and science and engineering students, I do kind of wish that we Arts graduates had picked up some broader transferable knowledge.

I’m off to rob a bank, go do a masters and then the world is my oyster Sam Creighton VP Communications

There are few times of years that are stranger for Students’ Unions than January.

We seem to be teetering on the brink of things. Next month we will be electing a whole new set of Sabbatical Officers to hand over to (well, that’s not exactly the case for Dom and myself, but it still marks a certain point). Despite the fact we have six more months in office, the eyes of the student body are fixed squarely

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on next year. Inevitably, this means so are ours.

I will (hopefully) be the fourth VP Communications in a row to go on to do a masters in journalism at City University, that’s the plan anyway.

It’s the best journalism course in the country and the only thing standing between me and it is about £23,000.

So, you know, no sweat.

Actually though, I’ve been spending a lot of time recently thinking

about the past. I’m researching an article for a later issue of QMessenger for which I’m interviewing former presidents of Queen Mary Students’ Union, these include bankers, lawyers, pilots, naval captains and even the managing director of Proctor and Gamble among others. The all seemed to have had very different experiences at QMSU, but one consistent thing they have all said was they regardless of how fun they may or

may not have found their time at the helm, they were bloody well relieved when it was over; contrary to popular belief, being a Sabb is hard.

Speaking to them has inspired me with confidence though, they have all done well, regardless of what field they turned their hands to, and they all say it’s because of the skills they learned while being a Sabb. So, I’m off to rob a bank, go to City and then, I suppose, the world is my oyster.

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QMESSENGER MONDAY JANUARY 16 2012

Satire All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Please don’t mistake anything on this page for fact.

Apple to launch innovative Aaron new product. Again.

Barber talks

An iSticker stuck on a bigger iSticker which is too big too see.

Image by Harry Redknapp

Tahmeed Zaki Apple fans left underwhelmed by the launch of the iPhone 4s finally have something to cheer about as the US company unveils its latest innovative new product for 2012.

The company are set to launch a new brand of adhesive brand label called the iSticker. Available in 4 different colours, customers will also have the option to customise the labels with either the words Apple or iSticker for a small nominal upfront fee, rumoured to be around the region of $75-$105 (UK prices not yet confirmed).

The iSticker is going to be unique as it will be available from virtually every shop anywhere in the world and not just computer or electronic stores.

Leading technological expert and authority Eugene “KingAragorn7468” Algernon (his WoW account name is now legally his middle name) said that Apple have Stuffed meercat. Photo by Leonard Smeg

2012 landed a severe blow to all their competitors by making their product widely available to sell.

“It’s another stroke of marketing genius on the part of Apple,” KingAragorn7468 said. “People can now purchase Apple products online, in-store and even in newsagents and corner shops. They have done it again! I can’t wait for the iSticker. Personally, I think it looks better than anything any of their competitors have out at the moment.”

New Apple executive Tim Cook has claimed the revolutionary sticker will “forever change how people accessorise their mobile and desktop devices, completely changing their outlook on life.” He expects the iSticker to play an important part in bringing families closer together. He also confirmed that iSticker would be selling for $249 per label in the US and a similar price when it eventually comes out in the UK. The launch of the iSticker comes one week after the conclusion of a bitter legal dispute between the

An open letter to advertisers Ben Richardson The people at comparethemarket.com: The Compare the Meer Cat thing was cute at first, but after several items of merchandise and 3 years of annoyance, the joke is over. I’m bored.

The people at Plusnet: I liked you idea for “Yorkshire broadband” as a good, honest and humble provider of porn, but people think it’s only available in Yorkshire so it’s just been a confusing mess.

The people at Norwich Union/ Aviva: I really like Paul Whitehouse as part of Harry and Paul, but I’ve not once

satire@qmessenger.co.uk

American technological giant and fruit-sellers around the world, which ended after the World Trade Organisation granted the US firm power to sue any grocer claiming to sell apples.

An Apple spokesperson had this to say: “These fruit-sellers are clearly in violation of international copyright laws by selling pear-substitute objects as Apples(TM). Not only are they profiting from using our brand image, they are also deceiving loyal Apple customers by selling them products that don’t have either wi-fi or an HD camera, and do not link to the amazing iTunes online store. We feel this is wrong and the WTO clearly agrees with us, as a result we have achieved a significant victory for giant corporations.”

There have been no words from the fruit-sellers union, apart from a quote by a Finustenian farmer which roughly translates to: “I don’t like or sell apples(TM) anyway. Too showoffy and doesn’t often even taste that good! Blackberries are more to my liking. And bananas. I like bananas!”

With 2011 firmly scraped off the carpet, placed in an oil barrel, doused in petrol and set alight, it’s time to look at what to expect and look forward to in 2012.

1. Fallout from Kim Jong-Il’s expected death (he did tell you he was ill): This has left the Korean peninsular in a bit of a fluster. There might be a nuclear war, millions may die, but hey, it’ll make great telly. Just think: Piers Morgan, Nick Clegg, the traffic warden who gave me a ticket even though I only parked for five seconds to drop off some puppies to an orphanage, Facebook, Bono, Simon Cowell, JLS, racist tram lady, Hayden Christensen, The Coca-Cola Christmas truck, cats, the cast of Cats, cat bin lady and Hello Kitty all horribly deformed and dead. Splendid.

2. The assassination of a Government minister(s): This could give a bright start to the year; we’re well overdue for one! Hopefully the death(s) will make them think about their policies and shake the headup-arsehole Westminster family to its blackened heart. Though most likely, make them close more librar-

ies, take away more civil liberties and punish us for our disobedience.

3. Someone invents a floating laptop: It’s just like a normal laptop but it floats. Just above your legs. So they don’t get hot. I’m typing this on a laptop now and my legs are too warm. Right, well sod you, I thought it was a good idea.

4. The Olympics: For two weeks London will be hosting the greatest show on earth, well I say greatest.

It’s not as good as Sherlock. I think we should have spent the six billion on making really good TV shows and a two week national holiday where we stayed at home watching them. It would have saved us a lot on transport infrastructure (because everyone stays at home) and disposing of the poor (AKA urban regeneration).

5. Enjoy your extra day: As you know, 2012 is a leap year so spend that extra day doing something fun, like baking a cake, getting a Prince Albert or watching re-runs of Location, Location, Location.

Well that’s about it, a whole year and that’s all there is to look forward to. Nevermind.

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Photo by Lauren Weiss

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14

QMESSENGER MONDAY JANUARY 16 2012

Societies

Society in Spotlight: A new year for QM Theatre Co. It’s been a busy year so far for Queen Mary Theatre Company.

We showcased our talents at the Variety Show, put on 5 plays during The Bryony Lavery Festival, babbled in gobbledygook at Flatpack and created a concoction of jazz and pantomime at the Christmas Cabaret. This semester, we’re offering you just as much to get involved in.

QMTC will be performing Bryony Lavery’s It Snows on 14th January at Rich Mix in Shoreditch. This will be our first collaboration with this vibrant East London arts venue, and we’re really excited to have been given a platform to showcase our work outside of the university environment. Tickets are £5 for

QMTC members / £6 for nonmembers.

We will be holding the Mid Season Festival (3rd-5th February), which will be a collection of published plays with a dash of new writing. For all you budding writers, our New Writers Festival (24th-26th February) will be coming up at the end of Reading Week. If you would like to pitch your own play, please come along to our New Writers Pitch Night (6pm on 24th January) at the New Globe. Later on in March we will be putting on the musical comedy I Love You Because – a modern-day re-telling of Pride and Prejudice. Auditions will be taking place in the coming weeks.

societies@qmessengerco.uk

Our weekly improvisation group, Flatpack meets every Tuesday at 7.00pm in RR3 (ArtsOne), followed by our Weekly Social from 8.30pm, upstairs at the New Globe. Our aim to provide a creative platform for all students at QMTC, regardless of what you study. So if you’re interested in any aspect of performance – directing, acting, costume, tech or perhaps you just enjoy going to the theatre, come along and see what you think.

For more information on Queen Mary Theatre Company, as well as updates on upcoming performances and auditions, please join our Facebook Group (Queen Mary Theatre Company 2011/12) or visit our blog (www. qmtc.wordpress.com).

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QMESSENGER MONDAY 16th JANUARY 2012

Storming successes for QMBL Fencing » Gold and bronze for fencers as newbies find the rhythm

Sport Oppurtunities ahead for the Olympic year Shafi Musaddique

Andrew Carlin December saw the first chance for Queen Mary’s novice fencers to test themselves in a big competition.

Warwick University hosted the National novices, a competition for fencers with less than 2 years experience from clubs and universities across the country.

Queen Mary’s team consisted of five fencers along with one from ULU, far smaller than most of the other teams, with experience ranging from a year to just three months.

The day started with a horribly early train journey to Coventry followed by a cab with far too many people and bags crammed in.

When we eventually arrived we had a long wait before the competition actually started which only made the nerves worse. However after the first round of poules everyone was in a reasonably good position with Omer Farooq having done particularly well with all victories ranking 3rd out of 66.

After a break, the second round went just as successfully with Queen Mary having three of our four male foilists in top twenty, quite an achievement given that other teams were far larger.

In the ladies’ competition, Sabrina Brown blew her opponents away to comfortably

Andrew Carlin and Sabrina Brown celebrate bronxe and gold respecively Image courtesy of Riccardo Franchi

hold the number 1 ranking going into the elimination bouts.

All Queen Mary’s fencer made it through the first round of eliminations, except for Carlos Chilima who picked up an extremely hard draw in an eventual semi finalist and ultimately was overcome in the final time period. Riccardo Franchi enjoyed a comfortable first round victory but found himself up against a tricky fencer in the round of 32 and couldn’t progress any further.

Omer, in his first competition,

made it to the last 16 where he was unfortunately beaten by another of the eventual medallists whilst QM’s final fencer Andy Carlin cruised through some mismatched DE’s to reach the quarter finals.

In the ladies’ competition Sabrina Brown again proved far too good for her opponents and dropped less than 10 points overall en-route to the final. In the men’s quarter final Andy beat Dan Smith of Keele who had beaten him during the poule stages.

The semi final proved a step too far and Andy lost to Arnold Ng of Imperial 15-13, Arnold going on to win the competition whilst Andy picked up the bronze. In the ladies competition Sabrina Brown went into the final on the back of several heavy victories and continued her great run of form.

Despite some resistance from her opponent, Emma Speers of Manchester, she eventually cruised to a 15-8 victory and was never in any danger of losing thereby capping off a highly successful day for QM and continuing her amazing form in competitions.

A special mention should go to Mark Williams of ULU who was an honorary part of the QM Team for the day and achieved a finish, 27th, far above his initial ranking and to Carolyn Shearman for helping out with the refereeing, no easy task with novice fencing, as well as providing noisy support to rival much larger teams.

Final rankings were Sabrina Brown Gold women’s foil, Andrew Carlin Bronze men’s foil, Omer Farooq 11th men’s foil, Riccardo Franchi 18th men’s foil and Carlos Chilima 61st men’s foil.

Especially well done to the Omer, Carlos and Riccardo on finishing so well in their first tournament, all above their initial rankings, a good sign for QM in defending our ULU team shield later in 2012.

You’re back from the comforts of home, indulged in the Christmas and post-Christmas food. And it’s all coming back down to earth.

Well, why not fulfil those crumbling New Year’s resolutions by becoming active again?

GetActive, launched in semester one of the academic year, still has plenty of opportunities to have fun and get fit. Session are either free, or cost as little as £1.50 as a one-off payment.

Athetics, Badminton, running and table tennis are all among the many sports available to everyone. A new addition to the list is Judo, where everyone is welcome. Flex those legs and learn the art of Judo with the GetActive scheme in the sports hall on Wednesdays, 6-8pm. If you’re keen to learn more, the Judo club run a session every Friday from 4-6.30pm. Memebership costs £10 for the whole year.

If you’re inspired by 2012, the year of the Olympics legacy, then why not try your hand it giving something back to the community whilst boosting your CV? Young umpires and referees are needed across London and the UK; Sportsmakers are at hand to give young people the opportunity to plan routes, organise local sporting events and be part of the Olympics itself. Funding from the Mayor’s Fund is also available for refeering and umpiring courses in your field of interest. Simply visit www.sportmakers.co.uk and type in QueenMary as the code.

This is most definitely the year to exercise the heart!

New Year nostalgia awakens the ghosts of the past »

Boris Johnson will not bring about the second buzzword of the year: nostalgia.

Andrew Carlin London’s buzzword for this year will be ringing in your ear. ‘Investment’, an often tarnished word used by Government officials, introduced the new year in spectacular fashion with fireworks crashing out of Big Ben. Investment will continue to trickle in one’s ears till the much-loved (or hated) spectacle that is the Olympic Games of 2012. The Olympic Park continues its progress, with the Aquatics centre opening with the Mayors blessing. Boris Johnson, standing in a suit near the pool, will not bring about the second buzzword of the year - ‘nostalgia’.

Over the Christmas and New

Year period, nostalgia and investment came to the fore in the most spectacular of spectacles.

Housewives’ favourite, chest thumping Frenchman Thierry Henry returned to his spiritual home of London for his beloved Arsenal. Having been on a Mexican holiday at the beginning of January 2012, the Frenchman’s spiral back to the helm of hero for the Gunners should be coloured in sepia.

Many critics, along with Tottenham fans, voiced the cliched concern of an old dog losing his tricks. Well, the old dog just happened to play his old tricks. A sumptuous, sole goal against Leeds United brought tears to the eyes. One could forgive nostalgia. Never had a 3rd

Round FA Cup tie been so beautiful, dazzling, seemed in Godly scriptwriting. One friend even asked the bouncers at Drapers for a smartphone, only to then serenade the Monday night faithful with chants of ‘Thierry Henry’. Happy days.

Henry’s return followed suit to a trend of returns. The Old Boys club at Manchester seemed to be returning too; Paul Scholes rolling his sleeves and socks up for a thrilling 3-2 victory of local rivals Manchester City. Scholes’ passing accuracy was the most successful return out of all the players on the pitch. But even stats sometimes fail to show the whole picture, with a sloppy pass that led to City’s second goal allowing

the noisy neighbours not to be drowned out. Premier League stars continued apace with returns. Remember Eric Cantona? Collar casual celebrations, kung-fu fighting abuse, and now a French-Presidency campaign that eventually curtailed into a hoax.

Jeremy Vine caused a stir when he tweeted: “Cantona wants to be the next president of France. Oh yeah, and Thierry Henry is going to play for Arsenal again and score the winner on his debut.” I think the BBC write the best scripts. Unfortunately, it turned out that Cantona only wanted to highlight the plight of the homeless.

So onto the New Year. An Olympic year, spearheaded by

a new golden generation. And maybe David Beckham to boot?

Even GB Olympic football cannot escape the possibility of a messiah. Goldenballs will almost certainly play a role, either on-or off- the field. Beckham’s presence, as of Henry and Scholes, should be embraced.

The frailty of GB Football looks even more frail, with a Scottish independence campaigns looking to the past, rather than forward.

So, the golden rule of 2012 will be to invest in the old. Bring back Seb-Coe in the 118 shorts, drag Thatcher back through cinematic portrayal. The new year will be lived in the warmth of sepia. So invest today, be nostalgic tomorrow.

sport@qmessenger.co.uk

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QMESSENGER MONDAY 16 JANUARY 2012

Sport

QM Netball at the top of the league

»

All four Queen Mary netball teams within top two teams of respective leagues

Emma Swan QM Netball Club have definitely blazed their trail to an outstanding season with all four teams in the top two of their respective ULU leagues in the first half of the season. QMN 1sts led by Laura Kendrick have proven their worth in their newly promoted league, the Premiership, by winning four of their six matches notably beating rivals LSE 1sts 34-31 and Imperial 1sts 24-13.

QMN 2nds have followed suit and have won all five of their matches so far with a goal different of +113 and find themselves top of their ULU league! (Barts are currently 6th) Eliza Finch and the 3rds are currently 2nd in their ULU league with a massive +97 goal difference; great results beating Royal Vets 45-20 and Goldsmiths 2nds 26-16 and as a team they leave Barts in their tracks in 8th in the same league. Eliza adds, ‘This first term we have gone from strength to strength creating a solid team, we are currently top of the league and are hoping this term will be as successful.

Fantastic team work by captains Alice Edwards and Chrissie Paine has aided their 4th team to the top of their ULU league thrashing the

Sports: good for mind, body and soul Bethia Stone

Image by courtesy of the Queen Mary Netball Club Medics 25-4 and Rums 32-2 ( how dare they let in those 2 goals?!)

The 1st and 2nd go from strength to strength again in the BUCS leagues and cup; QMN 1sts have won two out of the four matches, lost one and drew one with great results beating Royal Free 37-24 and Greenwich 1sts 29-20; they are currently in 4th in their league

but are in a great position for the remaining games. QMN 2nds have stormed through winning 5/5 with an outstanding +127 goal difference, showing that the underdogs always triumph by beating St Georges 1st 38-36 and Portsmouth 37-34 in their BUCS cup challenges. Club captain Rosie Caven is delighted with the club’s

progress and comments, “all the squads have done fantastically over the first semester and the girls have worked extremely hard to put themselves at the highest levels of their leagues. I can only hope that this success will continue and result in all four teams gaining promotion at the end of the season.”

Sports aren’t just for Christmas; they’re good New Year’s Resolutions too. Whether you’ve sworn to lose that extra festive weight, meet more people or get more involved at university outside lectures, sports clubs might just be the way to go about it.

From netball to football or rugby, sports clubs can help you towards a healthier lifestyle - and session is almost infamous for the intense “socialisation” between members, or so rumour would have it.

With winning comes new confidence, with losing comes a new sweaty shoulder to cry on but most sports club members will enthusiastically tell you that they’re just one big competitive family with medals and trophies for aunts and uncles.

It’s not too late to join a team, or fly solo if you’d rather. To find details of available sports clubs and how you can represent your university, visit www.qmsu.org/clubsport.

Beware, McDaid you're yet to impress » QMFC 5ths yet to make a move in the January transfer window

Sean Mahoney As soon as the clock hit midnight on new years day, 5ths ViceCaptain Sam Lowe sat himself down next to the fire to prepare for the business end of the season. It appears the captains are doing just enough to keep the “Lowe out” banners away from Chistlehurst as the 5ths are on course for a historic and famous double.

The January transfer window opened up and despite much speculation from the press and Twitter, the 5ths have been

sport@qmessenger.co.uk

abnormally quiet on the transfer front. QMFC Chairman Alfie Meekings has promised that funds have been made available should Ash or Sam wish to spend it. Ashley ‘history journal’ Sweetman has never been one to talk openly about transfer targets and it seems he is contempt with what he has – despite a poor season from the once highly rated midfield dynamo Mitch Ingram. However, the word on the playground is that Sweetman and Lowe may be facing a difficult month holding onto their star players and with the impending

introduction of the Financial Fair Play rules Sweetman may be forced to sell. The Daily Mail has linked star keeper and ex-Dagenham and Redbridge prodigy Sean Mahoney with a shock return to the fourths as 4ths skipper TJ Johnson is on the look out for a safe pair of hands as Max Zimmerman was released on a free transfer back to the MLS. When pressed on the rumours Lowe had this to say: “Sean is definitely someone we need to keep hold of, sure there has been big interest in him throughout the season, who wouldn’t want

a player like him?” He added “I wouldn’t say he is the best keeper at QM, but he’s definitely in the top one”. There is also talk of 4ths interest in full back Jack Briggs after an impressive start to the season. Sweetman was adamant that Mahoney would stay: “We will not let either Sean, Andy Durr or Ariq Husain go, however, bids for Adam Mcdaid and Tom Huckstepp would be welcomed”.

Mahoney has denied rumours he is off, he told QMessenger “I have spoken to both Ash and Sam and I have reassured them that this is the club for me”. QM have the

strongest defence in the league and with Michael Manning finding prolific form in midfield, it seems that the only area which could be strengthened is the forward line after big summer signing Adam McDaid has failed to hit any kind of form. The pacey and powerful forward could only muster two goals in 14 appearances thus far and his position may be under threat as it seems Michael Owen is looking for a new club and a route off the United bench. One thing is for sure though, there will be no attempt to bring Femi Rotimi back to QM.