Issue 58
Ed keeps his eye on the ball
Monday March 5th 2012
Should we intervene in Syria?
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Hail Mary? More like Fail Mary! LOL banter... Page 7
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The Newspaper of Queen Mary Students’ Union
Your library fine: £650,000 » Each of the last four academic years have seen the Library receive more than £100,000 in fines Kaamil Ahmed Students have paid hundreds of thousands of pounds in fines to the Library in less than ten years according to information released by the college. Across all campuses, Queen Mary’s Library Services have raised more than £650,000 in fines for overdue material since 2004 - the furthest date for which data is available. Each of the last four academic years have seen the Library receive more than £100,000 in fines, but a spokesperson for Library Services said that they do their best to reduce the amount that students have to pay. “The Library monitors and changes book loan statuses to reduce the amount of fines generated whilst still enabling books to circulate and encouraging people to return books on time”, said Pat Simons. “We also have processes that ensure individual borrowers do not incur excessive fines without speaking to Library staff about making arrangements to pay them and how to avoid them in future.” Simons said that the Library Services tried to make it easier for students to return books by getting rid of the short loan status, which meant some books could only be kept for four hours, and making those books one day loans.
How much has the library made? 2004/05 = £74,323 2005/06 = £84,569 2006/07 = £91,081 2007/08 = £102,825 2008/09 = £102,057 2009/10 = £105,449 2010/11 = £100,738
There was a significant increase in the amount of money generated by fines, with £74,323 in the 2004/2005 academic year, but the amount has been consistently over £100,000 since 2007/2008. Simons suggested that this was because there has been a 41% increase in the number of students in full-time education at Queen Mary and a 10% increase in the amount of books which are loaned annually. Simons said that all of the money raised from the fines is used to buy new books and internet resources for students, with more than 55,000 books being bought for the college libraries since 2008. Just over ten per cent of the books bought for the 2009/2010 and 2010/2011 academic years were paid for with money collected from fines. The library has also bought more than 4,000 e-books since 2008. Library fines so far for this academic year have reached £27,000, though may rise significantly towards the end of year as students often have to pay off all of their debts in order to receive their exam results. It was recently revealed that universities across the country had raised £50 million over the last six years, with some universities raising more than a million pounds in that period.
Figures for books added to stock 2008-09: 33186 new books plus 3475 e-books 2009-10: 11604 new books plus 418 e-books of which 1330 books and 168 e-books paid for from fines 2010-11: 12890 new books plus 692 e-books of which 1591 books and 178 e-books were paid for from fines
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QMESSENGER MONDAY MARCH 5 2012
News
Editorial Team: • Executive Editor - Sam Creighton vpcommunications@qmsu.org • Managing Editor - Caz Parra editor@qmessenger.co.uk • Sub Editors - Lauren Mason, Robert Pritchard and Maria Sowter subeditor@qmessenger.co.uk • News Editors - Rosie Reynolds, Kaamil Ahmed and Ariane Osman news@qmessenger.co.uk • Comment Editors - Kashmira Gander and Stephanie Rankin comment@qmessenger.co.uk • Satire Editors - Ben Richardson and Aaron Barber satire@qmessenger.co.uk • Sports and Societies Editors - Shafi Musaddique, Hollie Carter and Ashley Sweetman sport@qmessenger.co.uk • Photography Editors - Keeren Flora and Bethia Stone photography@qmessenger.co.uk
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The Cloud How you fit into the news.
Arts donations made by big companies have dropped £10 million last year, which marks a steady decrease in philanthropy for the arts.
@QMessenger In this digital age of ours it would be remiss for us not to keep an eagle eye on our online presence. So, here are the best messages tweeted @QMessenger this week. Working on one of the last @QMessenger issues of the year and one of my last ever!
I was very touched by the article about the sterilisation of transgender people in @QMessenger this week.
58 @QMessengers down, 2 to go. I actually feel quite emotional #pleasedontmakemeleave #ihatethe1994educationact
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A dance track that seems to be continuously accelerating due to an audio illusion has been created by Queen Mary scientist Dr Stowell.
New research has shown that a few short bursts of intense exercise amounting to no more than a couple of minutes per week could have the same benefits as long work outs.
The Treasury has ordered Barclays Bank to pay £500 million after it was discovered that the bank was using two different schemes to avoid paying tax.
Established in 2008, QMessenger is the free weekly newspaper of Queen Mary Students’ Union. We are proud of our editorial independence and endeavour to always hold the College, Union and external bodies to account and to provide the best news and analysis to the students of Queen Mary, University of London.
Any views expressed in QMessenger section are those of the individual writer and do not necessarily reflect those of the paper, the editorial board, Queen Mary Students’ Union or Queen Mary, University of London.
A British photographer for The Sunday Times has been successfully smuggled out of the Syrian city of Homs after he sustained injuries in the same blast that killed two Western journalists.
Doctors have warned that taking sleeping pills could increase risk of death.
Banksy-esque political graffiti is seeing a rise in Russia thanks to Russian street artist P138 who says he does it for a “strong, educated and cultured homeland”. The Occupy camp outside St Paul’s Cathedral was evicted last week after the High Court decided not to allow an appeal to keep the site.
QMessenger is printed at Mortons of Horncastle Ltd, Media Centre, Morton Way, Horncastle, Lincolnshire, LN9 6JR. Tel: 01507 523 456. Each issue has a print run of 1,000 and costs £445 to print and deliver.
QMessenger is created entirely by students and the publication retains all copyright of design, text, photographs and graphics, along with the individual contributor.
Tensions between Argentina and the UK are rising after two British cruise ships were refused to dock on the Argentine coast due to continuing disagreements over the Falklands.
By Ariane Osman Images by: Barclays bank logo by HowardLake (flickr) RBS by Ell Brown
Ask for more responsibility in placements, says QMUL Alannah Francis As the government’s work experience scheme came under fire from critics deeming it slave labour, QM Careers gave tips on how to get the best out of a work placement. Graduates are encouraged to undertake work placements, as the majority of UK graduate recruiters look for work experience as well as a good degree in candidates. QM Careers said: “Students should expect to develop stronger skills (e.g. communication, teamwork) and commercial awareness from a work placement, so if the work isn’t challenging enough, it’s usually a good idea to offer to take
on more responsibility”. Placements can be a good option for students who are unable to gain long-term employment as they can often lead to permanent positions within a company. “It’s quite common now for graduates to start their career in a short term placement.” “The other thing to bear in mind is that, unless you are working for a charity, statutory body or doing a placement as part of your degree, you are entitled to the National Minimum Wage.” QM Careers said that they are happy to advise students about how best to approach the issue of pay when it comes to placements. The government’s work experi-
ence scheme requires jobseekers claiming Job Seekers Allowance (JSA) to work unpaid for companies supported only by their JSA. The placements are predominantly aimed at young people who have been out of work for more than 3 months and involve participants doing the same work as paid employees. Many companies withdrew from the arrangement after it came to the attention of the firms partaking in the scheme that claimants could lose their benefits, if they did not complete their placement. Burger King, Waterstones and TK Maxx are just some of the companies which decided to pull out of the scheme before the Government
backtracked on benefits sanctions. Tesco has adapted its arrangement with the government, offering paid trials with the guarantee of a job for those whose placements have been successful. Anne-Marie Andoh, a third year History student at Queen Mary, has been on a number of unpaid work placements. She said: “For the places the government is offering unpaid work experience, I don’t think it’s valuable at all. People could easily volunteer in a charity shop and get benefits at the same time.” Anne-Marie added: “If they are going to be offering free work experience then they need to have the prospect of a job for the intern”.
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QMESSENGER MONDAY MARCH 5 2012
News
Controversial event given go ahead
Offence rare at Queen Mary
Aamna Mohdin
Kaamil Ahmed
The Palestine Solidarity society event: ‘One State or Two State Solution’, which attracted the attention of national press last week, went ahead peacefully with little disruption. The event was heavily guarded with three members of security patrolling outside Francis Bancroft, and two inside the room. Guests were asked to sign in, with non Queen Mary students required to register beforehand. One man was escorted off campus by security when he attempted to enter the event without registering. The debate drew controversy when the group Student Rights had expressed concerns over the speakers invited. The panel included Dr Azzam Tamimi, Baroness Jennifer Louise Tonge and Professor Haim Bresheeth. ULU President elect Sean Rillo Raczka chaired the debate. All three speakers commended Queen Mary, University of London for allowing the event to go ahead. Baroness Tonge opened the debate discussing the importance of freedom of speech, telling the audience, “I might disagree with what you say, but I will always support your right to say it”. University Principal, Professor Simon Gaskell, told The Telegraph: “In making these arrangements we neither endorse nor deny the views expressed; rather we are allowing
Baroness Tonge (top left) and Dr. Azzam Tamimi (bottom left) spoke at the event. Professor Simon Gaskell (right) claimed to ‘neither endorse nor deny the views expressed’. Images courtesy of QMUL, Wikimedia Commons and Keith Edkins freedom of expression within the QMSU, said “The Jewish society at Queen Mary is not an Israeli socilaw”. The panel discussed what “via- ety; we should not be expected to ble solutions” were available for come and debate against the PalesPalestinian liberation, but a jour- tinian society”. Student Rights also claimed the nalist from Haaretz questioned the partiality of the debate ask- panel was heavily biased. Sam ing, “Why are there no pro-Israe- Playle, an active member of the li speakers and why was the un- Palestine Solidarity society, said: ion’s Jewish society not invited?” “There was a Palestinian, an IsraeThe Palestine Solidarity society li and a British speaker. Only the said that all students were invit- British speaker advocated the two ed to the event. Adam Levine, the state solution, which is the posipresident of the Jewish Society at tion of the Israeli government and
the Palestinian Authority. The Palestinian and Israeli speakers advocated the one state solution, a view supported by neither regime but by some people on both sides. This is a fundamentally asymmetric situation; we are taking that as a given and talking about solutions. There’s no need for an anti-Palestinian speaker.” Security quickly cleared the room at the end of the event, but many students continued their discussions elsewhere.
Complaints about discrimination from academics at Queen Mary in recent years have not been considered serious enough for them to be disciplined, according to information from the college. There have been five complaints since 2005, two relating to race, two relating to religion and one about gender discrimination. The college said that when dealing with a complaint it intends to improve behaviour rather than punish individuals, and suggested that the figures do not mean that the college does not take discrimination seriously. “In some cases, measures other than disciplinary warnings are determined to be the best remedy to a complaint”, said representatives from the Human Resources department. “Examples include equality and diversity training. Such sanctions have been implemented by the college when necessary.” “Amongst the five cases reported, it is possible that while offence may have been caused to the student concerned, it is by no means certain that the staff member concerned deliberately intended to offend.” The statement from Human Resources also said: “There have only been five complaints of this kind since 2005, demonstrating that these incidences are rare and Queen Mary is effective in dealing with these matters.”
Tutoring industry gives lucrative jobs to students Ariane Osman Students are being offered the majority of tutoring positions along with the high wages due to the private tuition industry in the UK being at an all time high, according to a recent survey. The research carried out by the Sutton Trust has found that in spite of the gloomy economy, more teenagers than ever are seeking to improve their exam results by hiring a private tutor. The survey of 11-16 year olds in compulsory education found that the percentage of young people receiving tutoring rose by 5% in the last six years in England and Wales, with an even higher increase of 20% in the London area. “We take on a lot of students. Quite a significant number are recent graduates who tend to work for a year while they’re studying for a masters, or doing their law-conversion course,” said Peter Edwards, from Blue Tutors. “Students have obtained their qualifications more recently than ex-
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perienced tutors, and they tend to enced this myself. Sometimes the empathise with students – there significant cost involved means that if a client decides that their are no language barriers.” “The wages per hour are far high- child needs a break from tutoring er than the majority of other part- then you generally have to accept time jobs”, said Queen Mary third this and wait it out. For most jobs year History student Ashley Sweet- you have to commit for the whole man, who receives £35 an hour tu- academic year, so sometimes it toring AS Level economics, which can be tough deciding whether or not you are taking on too much too helps to pay the rent. Tutoring in the London area is early.” The one thing to remember as a prestigious business, with wages known to exceed £50 an hour a student going into tutoring acin the wealthiest areas. But mon- cording to Ashley is, “Be confident ey isn’t the sole incentive. “Seeing - you probably know more stuff a student progress and develop is off the top of your head than you fulfilling” added Ashley. “Form- think. Don’t be intimidated - they ing a trusting relationship with the are paying for your expertise, you child is fulfilling, there is also the have been trained to do the job.” potential to go on some seriously unbelievable trips abroad for var- Tutoring is providing an increasied periods of time.” ingly popular source of income for However there are things to take Queen Mary students, offering into account, especially in terms over £50 per hour and also providof time commitment. “Most peo- ing a rewarding way to spend your ple who can afford that cost for free time, but you need to be “contheir child live on the other side fident”. of London so it involves quite a bit of travelling. There are potentially Image courtesy of Lower Columbia Colunrealistic expectations from par- lege via Flickr (cc) ents, although I have never experi-
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QMESSENGER MONDAY MARCH 5 2012
News
Students attending extra lectures Heena Battiwala University students are starting to attend lectures outside of their degree subject areas in order to expand and diversify their field of knowledge. In addition to attending lectures for courses they are enrolled on, an increasing number of students are joining their friends on other courses for lectures which interest them. Others go along to listen to lectures recommended to them based on the reputation of the lecturer himself. At university, choice is narrowed to one subject - or at most two for joint honours students and therefore it is not surprising that students are branching out into different fields. Alice Chadd, a first year French student, was enthusiastic about the prospect of learning something new and unrelated to her course. “I think that’s really cool - it’d be awesome to just drop in to a lecture on something you’d never thought of studying before.” On the other hand, Nilufa Yas-
More students are auditing courses outside their field of study to get more out of their time at university. Image courtesy of Tulane Public Relations via Flickr (cc) min, a first year English student, notes!” programmes - we could learn so said that she has already been to Her fellow English student, much more and plus there are cera lecture on a completely different Samiha Azim expressed simi- tain aspects that cross over and subject to that which she studies. lar enthusiasm and even regret- could support our understanding “I would definitely consider go- ted that the university did not en- of aspects of our own degrees.” ing to other lectures, although it courage students to explore other Bilal Singh Butt, a first year depends on the subject. In fact, I courses. English Literature student with already have. I went to a calcu“I would totally give it a go! It’s a broad interest in the Arts, conlus lecture once and actually took such a shame they don’t have such sidered which lectures would con-
Ed shows Queen Mary he’s got balls Paddy Ford Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls MP hit out at the Coalition’s economic policy and argued that their policies were “inflexible” and “unsustainable”. Speaking at a meeting of the Mile End Group, Balls was grilled by QMUL’s own Peter Hennessey, The Independent’s John Rentoul and Bill Keegan of The Observer. The former Education Secretary defended his party’s economic record in front of a sold-out audience. Challenged on why the government was so unaware of the impending crisis when it struck in 2007, Balls insisted that “nobody from the FSA or the Bank of England ever said there was any issue with the balance sheet of RBS”. “I think history will show that Gordon Brown and Alastair Darling did a phenomenal job. Of course, there were lots of issues at the margin [that we could have handled better]… ”, he continued, before praising the use of stimulus to prevent depression and help keep people in employment. Balls also attacked credit rating agencies, which have been widely criticised across the political spectrum for wielding too much unaccountable power. A downgrade in a country’s credit rating can lead to a
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run on the banks and stock market collapse. But referring to Obama’s stimulus plan (which sent debt skyrocketing and saw their credit rating cut), Balls bemoaned the fact that George Osborne did not follow a similar path: since the downgrade, America’s “long-term interest rates have fallen, growth has accelerated and unemployment has fallen. Personally, I think it tells us something about the credit rating agencies”, he said. And Balls didn’t withhold his fire on the Liberal Democrats either: “It is actually the Liberal Democrats who have been the strongest in saying the deficit reduction plan is a cornerstone of the coalition. If George Osborne had a majority, he would have changed course. Either Osborne is unbelievably doctrinaire or the coalition makes life very difficult [to change economic course].” Opinion of the Shadow Chancellor’s performance was mixed. First year History and Politics student Jamie Hilder said that whilst Balls seemed economically reassuring, he “conveniently abridged himself from blame for the current budget deficit”. Sam Creighton, VP Communications, said: “Groups like the Mile End Group, along with New Turn, do a great service to QM bringing such high profile speakers to campus.”
tribute to his existing interests. “I would like to go to other lectures but I do not really know where to go – if Queen Mary did fine art, I’d go to all of those.” However, not everyone is as keen to add hours on to their existing schedule. A group of students were concerned that they just about manage to attend all of their own lectures. Sobi Kumar, a first year Bio Med student, said she preferred to focus on her degree. “Though it seems like a good way to diversify your field of knowledge, I wouldn’t go to lectures on other courses because it would take up too much of my time time which I could be using to revise what I’ve learnt in my own lectures.” The practicalities of university life and the work load degrees bring to students mean that although many may find the idea of having wide access to diverse education alluring, the number of students actually attending lectures outside of their degree subject areas will probably remain small.
Drop in applications after the fee hike could cost £ 5.66bn to UK universities
The drop in university applications will cost the sector more than just students. Image courtesy of fiftydotsix via Flickr (cc)
Sao Mai Ly The rise of tuition fees could negatively affect the economy, as well as undermine the reputation of British universities as world class institutions. Students from EU countries are increasingly reluctant to apply to UK universities, as figures from the Universities and Colleges Admission Service (UCAS) reveals. The number of applications by EU students has dropped by 11% this year. As university fees have increased to up to £9,000 for the next academic year, statistics suggest that European students have been looking at cheaper alterna-
tives in other countries. Although the amount of applications by non EU students has risen by 13%, a report by the consultants London Economics estimates a loss of £5.66bn in fees revenue due to the lack of EU students. This could cost the British economy up to £2.3bn. After the central government cut £830m in teaching funds this year, the overall number of applications to university dropped by 9.9%. As academics point out, the fee hike, restrictions on visas and the murder of an Indian student last Christmas could deter overseas students from pursuing a degree in the UK. While the government has become stricter on immigration, Sir
Peter Scott, a professor at University of London’s Institute of Education claimed that “the trouble is that the Home Office is more important than the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills in Government”, which is perceived as more open to international students. “Is the media more interested in negative stories about immigrants or the positive impact of international students on the economy? Well, we know the answer”, he added. British Council Director of Education Dr Jo Beall stated that, despite the fact Britain is currently the second most popular destination for students after the United States, “we can’t be complacent” as the numbers are dropping.
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QMESSENGER MONDAY MARCH 5 2012
News Candidates scope each other out as NUS Queen Mary research finds hopefuls face off against student hacks animals can have accents Animals can develop accents too, according to new research on goats conducted by scientists at Queen Mary. Dr Elodie Briefer and Dr Alan McElligott from Queen Mary’s School of Biological and Chemical Sciences investigated genetic and social effects on goat kid calls. The team studied four sibling groups of goats. They were recorded during two socially and ecologically distinct periods: at one week old, when they typically stay hidden from predators with their siblings, and at five weeks old, when they form social
groups with animals of the same age, known as ‘crèches’. The calls of the goats became more similar to each other when they were raised in the same social groups. Dr Briefer explains: “We found that genetically related kids produced similar calls, which is not that surprising. But the calls of kids raised in the same social groups were also similar to each other, and became more similar as the kids grew older. This suggests that goat kids modify their calls according their social surroundings, developing similar ‘accents’”.
Queen Mary lecturer aids police investigation
QMSU President, Sophie Richardson, is running for NUS Vice President Higher Education
Alexander Penn Candidates running for the Presidential and Vice Presidential positions in April’s National Union of Students (NUS) elections faced tough questioning from the student media last week. In a press conference at NUS’ London headquarters, nominees for each of the five vice presidential posts and the one presidential position were probed by a number of student journalists from around the country. Noted as the union’s first, the conference comes in preparation for the NUS delegates’ vote in April. Running for the top National President job, Usman Ali, Ed Marsh and Kanja Sesay sat alongside current President, Liam Burns. Issues were raised over Burns’ alleged privileging of left wing politics, risking a prejudiced leadership. “The leadership does have to be careful not to isolate its membership. There is space for every student within this union and we need to come together”, Kanja Sesay said. Burns hit back claiming that, in his one year stint as president, he’s made the NUS “more cohesive”. “I’m certainly no poster boy for the left. We’ve managed to unite different groups. For example, we supported the student demonstrations, with funds and organisational help. I’ve demonstrated a willingness to give space to activists”, he continued. Candidates were also pressed to give their own definitions of the NUS. Most noted the union’s production of “change” in the country for students, as Ali touted it as a “powerful and empowering organisation”. As Burns not-
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ed past achievements, Ed Marsh called for more, arguing that “it makes a difference, but it needs to continue to do new things”. Meanwhile, current VP of Society and Citizenship, the post demanding a consideration of issues in wider society affecting students, Danielle Grufferty and her challenger, Jamie Woodcock, were questioned about students’ right to protest. Grufferty slammed society’s stereotyping of students: “Students are either being demonised as trouble-makers or being told we don’t care about community issues. It’s important to campaign against this”, she said. Woodcock agreed, calling for “further protests”, and assuring that “the majority of people in British society are against austerity”. He also pushed for the launch of an NUS pro-Palestine Campaign, to keep in line with the union’s history. “If we don’t, there would be the danger of not living up to the traditions of the NUS, such as its vital role in campaigning against the South African apartheid. It’s a shame NUS hasn’t done this for Palestine”, he added. Later, Candidate for VP Welfare, a position looking at students’ standard of living, Sean Rillo-Raczka, pushed for radical change in the NUS, accusing the union of “fiddling while Rome burns”. “NUS needs to change the way it works. It does too much navel gazing at the expense of mobilising students on the ground”, he continued. Rillo-Raczka described the government’s closure of the Education Maintenance Allowance (EMA), financial support for low-income college students, last year as the “biggest act of
Image courtesy of QMSU
vandalism”. “To be fair to NUS it has always spoken out on EMA”, he added. Raczka has already been elected as ULU President for next year and says he does not expect to win his NUS race but is running in order to “shape the debate”. Re-running incumbent, Pete Mercer, asserted that “EMA should be reformed, not scrapped”, concluding that the closure was “disgraceful”. Unpaid internships was another hot topic. Candidate for VP Higher Education, Rachel Wenstone, diverted attention to universities rather than corporate companies. “Universities need to allow people to have the same experience while they’re there. It’s not enough just to get students to universities, we need to support them while they’re there”, she said. Current QMSU president and challenger for this post, Sophie Richardson, cited the issue as a “big problem, especially if they’re part of your course”. This extended to postgraduate fees, as further challenger, Michael Chessum, condemned universities for using students as “cash cows”. “I was doing postgraduate stuff before it was popular. Universities are using postgraduates as cash cows, it’s a disaster for access and retention”. “We need to democratise education. Students, staff and teachers should be the ones running universities, it’s a public service and should be funded like every other public service”, he added. If you’d like to know more about the candidates and their opinions, read their manifestos online at http:// www.nusconnect.org.uk/conference/ elections/.
Police are hunting for a thief who was caught in the act on a train by an angry commuter who managed to snap a photo of his face. Matt Parker, a mathematician who works part-time at Queen Mary, said he was outraged when he witnessed the theft on a late night train. He said: “I was just appalled when I saw him pull the phone out of the bag. He didn’t care that people were looking at him and I started filming him. He said 'Go ahead’. He just didn’t care. I got really angry and started shouting but he just ignored
me. The train pulled into a station and he calmly got off with his bicycle and disappeared into the night.” Parker, who was returning home from London’s West End, was travelling on the Waterloo to Guildford train when he noticed a young woman leave the train at Surbiton without her handbag. A few minutes later a mobile in the bag started ringing. Matt went on: “I answered it and it was the lady’s worried boyfriend. I told him I would leave the bag at Guildford train station”.
Former QM sabb honoured by volunteering award Matt Spencer, a former Sabbatical Officer at Queen Mary Students’ Union, has been honoured with the creation of the Volunteering England Matt Spencer Award. Mr Spencer passed away in 2001 aged 23. He was heavily involved in Student Community Action at Queen Mary
before being elected Vice President Education and Welfare. He was later a trustee of Student Volunteering UK. The award has been given to Southampton Medical student Nathan Highton for his involvement in charities, including HIV education charity HIVE.
101 year graduate talks QM student to take at Sabbath service part in racy race Queen Mary graduate Jack Vardy became the oldest Jewish worshipper in the world to read the Sabbath service when he spoke in front of 200 people at the weekend at the grand age of 101. The great grandfather of seven celebrated his Hebrew birthday by officiating at the Beth Hamidrash Hagadol Synagogue on Saturday. He graduated with a first-class degree in physics and engineering from the then Queen Mary College, where he met his late wife Jean. Mr Vardy commented: “I enjoy reading at the synagogue and don’t feel 101. I wonder why other people haven’t reached this age - it wasn’t very hard and I didn’t do anything special.”
A Film Studies student at Queen Mary will be running the London Marathon in a corset if she raises more than £500. Francesca Balchin, who is studying for a Masters, is aiming to raise money for the Epilepsy Society after both she and her older sister Tina suffered seizures between the ages of eight and 11. If she reaches her target amount, she will be completed the 26 mile run wearing a corseted burlesque outfit. Francesca, who works as a burlesque dancer in between studying, hopes to make 'burlesque in cinema' the subject of her PhD thesis.
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QMESSENGER MONDAY MARCH 5 2012
Comment
The Great Debate
Should we intervene in Syria? How Laziness Makes The World Go Round People always complain about lazy, unreliable students; it’s become a bit of a running stereotype. However, as our rather pretty front page will attest, it is this very attribute that helps the world, or at least the university, tick over. It’s a surprisingly complex argument. With £9k fees about to commence with a bang we might think that the library clawing £100k plus a year from students in fines might be a bit much. On the other hand, students know that the fines exist and know exactly how to avoid them, so if they choose to keep a book longer than they are meant to maybe they should put some money towards the education of all the other students they kept the book from. All credit to the library pouring the majority of the revenue they get from fines back into buying new books, we certainly need them as resources seem extremely stretched at peak times. Now, if only we could get departments to spend all of their book budgets we might start getting somewhere.
Not Useful Sillyness (NUS) The NUS is a tricky thing. At the core it’s a very good idea, something that is definitely needed to make sure that students get the quality of education they deserve. However, some of the people going for the positions are down-right ludicrous. People like Jamie Woodcock running for Vice President Higher Education for example, while he is undoubtedly a clever and committed guy, he doesn’t even pretend to try and represent all students. Is this really the sort of person you want to talk to the government on your behalf? Surely we need to make sure that the broadest possible base of student opinions are taken into account. Happily there are also some very good candidates for once, especially for the positions of Vice President Higher Education and Vice President Union Development where there is more than one candidate who would lead the recently floundering organisation in the right direction. This is why it’s so important to find your NUS delegates (Ozzy Amir, Ross Speer, Ben Richardson and Joshua Snape) and make sure they know who you want them to vote for. Next year is going to be a dangerous year for higher education and we need to make sure that we have the right and the best voices speaking for us at the highest possible levels. NUS might be a bit lame at the moment, but it doesn’t have to be.
Image by Maria D’Amico
Yes
Meredith Strachan I won’t sit here and discuss the ins and outs of what’s going on in Syria. Whether or not the situation is dire enough in Syria for intervention is an argument other to this one. I’m going to take this opportunity to discuss whether it is ever right for one nation to intervene in the politics of another, and I’m going to argue that it can be. It is first important to discuss what we might mean in terms of ‘intervention’. Indeed, what most consider the West’s form of intervention is weaponry falling from the sky. But our question does not limit us to this form of ‘intervention’. We can intervene on a more personal level. I believe that a great deal of our reluctance to intervene in matters such as these stems from a Western inclination to isolate itself from other nations, and indeed, even on an individual scale. Are we forgetting that what’s behind this word—Syria—are people? Lots of people who have sought liberation and in doing so have sought help. I imagine forlorn eyes in the people of Syria, not to call us to drop bombs, but for us to support them in their cause. Would you consider this support (on any scale but I refer to political, seemingly passive support on a national scale as opposed to a military, unashamedly aggressive one) to also be intervention? I suggest a redefinition of ‘intervention’ that includes facilitation and not just usurpation of military pursuits to ‘control’. I hope that distinction is clear enough, as it changes considerably one’s attitudes toward this action. However, I accept that whilst I am arguing for a peaceful form of intervention that is never what we pro-
pose as a nation (or, more accurately, what Western leaders propose on their nations’ behalf), there is an argument here also for that military intervention. I’ll spare you details of the Assad regime as I suspect that you are fully aware. Whilst I cannot support violence in response to violence on a micro level, I can see the benefits on a scale like we are discussing. I am painfully apprehensive about using WWII as my example, but can we imagine a world wherein we did not intervene? Whilst the situation in Syria is very different, and I accept the absurdity of my comparison, it is vital to understand the motivation behind military intervention in situations of national division: one is horrified of the consequences of not intervening. How can we be sure that the situation will be quelled of its own accord? We can’t, and so we exercise intervention in the hopes that we might never know. Though it is a childish argument, it is also worth pointing out that there is a human propensity (at least as far I have found) to actively encourage others with whom they empathise. True, our condition is not and has never quite been the same as it is in Syria. But if we remove this notion of military versus military what we discover is a suffering people, as I have stated before. The point, however, is significant enough to reiterate. We, as people rather than as nations, wish to know that we have strived for whatever positive advancement we can achieve, even if it does not directly involve us (granted, some are more selfishly motivated). If one considers intervention in Syria a progressive step, then one is right in supporting this intervention. Meredith Strachan is a postgraduate Biomedical student and is a member of the Theatre Company.
No
Ellen Tansey
This debate need not discuss the merits or demerits of Bashar alAssad’s regime in Syria. The question we should be asking is whether it is ever okay for a Western nation to drop bombs on the rest of the world, and the answer to that is no. As the Arab Spring of 2011 showed, the people of the Middle East and Arab world do not need Western bombs to liberate them. In fact, Western bombs aren’t all that liberating at all. Many that argue for intervention in Syria will detail the reported horrors of the Assad regime, and fairly so, but what of the horrors of Western military aggression? Are they not violent, destructive and unwelcome? The residents of Sirte in 2011, or Basra in 2003 would no doubt think so. How can you possibly aim to end violent destruction with further violent destruction? Aiming to end unfavourable regimes with unfavourable action is plainly ridiculous. If your aim is to avoid further deaths, bombing Syria is not the way forward; imperialism only makes things worse. Not only would intervention in Syria be hugely catastrophic in terms of human suffering, it is also entirely hypocritical. Syria belongs to a part of the world that has seen popular revolution tear apart aging despotic regimes in mere months. This is liberation. It is also a part of the world that has seen the West violently invade in the name of humanitarianism. This is imperialism, and at the heart of imperialism is domination. The West assumes itself to be a judge on the world stage regarding what is and is not a human rights violation.
But is selling arms to known human rights violators, such as Israel, not condemned but actively supported, or Bahrain, who despite many similarities to Syria is suffering no threat of intervention, not a human rights violation? Kurt Vonnegut neatly articulated Western hypocrisy, in his case on the subject of Iran, with the words, “I know of only one nation that has dropped nuclear bombs on innocent people”. Who are we to ‘liberate’ Syria, even if we could? So what of Syria if we don’t intervene? The people of the Middle East can liberate themselves. Hosni Mubarak, after 30 years of Westernbacked tyranny, was overthrown in a popular revolution that needed no Western ‘help’. The Egyptian people organised and freed themselves. It would be foolish to suggest that Egypt is without issues, or even that the revolution is over, but the movements that have arisen out of the Egyptian revolution show genuine promise and momentum. Can the same be said of Libya, or Iraq? The Egyptian revolution wasn’t just about overthrowing Mubarak, it was about a far deeper form of liberation, a type that Western intervention can never bring. The Egyptian revolution was empowering the people, from the bottom up. The Egyptians wanted freedom and they fought for it themselves, shaping their own idea of freedom. Liberation can never be achieved by dropping bombs. As James Connolly famously declared, there are “none so fitted to break the chains as they who wear them, none so well equipped to decide what is a fetter” – if you aren’t Syrian, you simply can’t liberate Syria. Ellen Tansey is a first year History and Politics student and is involved with SWSS.
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QMESSENGER MONDAY MARCH 5 2012
Comment
Palestine: 21st century apartheid Sam Playle In the last issue of QMessenger, Ryan Henson accused the Palestine solidarity movement on campus of “actively contributing” to anti-semitism. He asserts that anti-semitism is on the increase, citing Community Security Trust figures from 2009. He will be pleased to learn that according to the same group, incidents dropped by 31% in 2010 and a further 9% in 2011. Anti-semitism has inspired some of the most despicable crimes in history and it is vital that we be vigilant, but Henson’s zeal is misdirected. Anti-semitism is rightly viewed as a particularly grave charge to make against someone, yet it is occasionally debased by opponents of Palestinian liberation, deployed as a way to score cheap rhetorical points. For example, last week an editorial in the Duke Chronicle, a student paper at Duke University, criticised a pro-Palestinian poster “that appears to depict an old Jewish woman— gargantuan proportioned, crudely drawn and invoking, whether purposefully or not, old Jewish stereotypes—whimsically lifting and peering inquisitively at a miniature Palestinian soldier.” Even the most superficial acquaintance with the situation would have made it clear that the old woman portrays a Palestinian, since the soldier was drawn in a tank, which only Israelis have. Evidently the writers didn’t know what they were talking about, yet nevertheless raised anti-semitism as a knee-jerk response. The stateless Palestinians are in an almost hopeless situation: some are refugees, ethnically cleansed to
“Anti-semitism is debased by opponents of Palestinian liberation
”
make way for Israel in 1948 and forbidden from returning. Some live under the boot of the Israeli military in the West Bank or Gaza Strip. Some are second-class citizens of Israel. This isn’t a war with two commensurate sides; it’s systematic oppression. In the last “war” 100 Palestinians were killed for each Israeli, while Israeli checkpoints are deadlier to babies in childbirth alone than Palestinian rockets fired into Israel are altogether. South African prime minister Hendrik Verwoerd asserted in 1961 that “Israel, like South Africa, is an apartheid state” (he thought it was a compliment). Students’ Unions around the
world proudly boycotted South Africa until apartheid ended, and now the Palestinians have called for a campaign of boycott, divestment and sanctions against Israel until full human rights for Palestinians are restored: the end of the military occupation, the right of Palestinian refugees to return to the (mostly empty) towns and villages they were driven from, and an end to discrimination against Palestinian citizens of Israel. There is nothing anti-semitic about supporting basic human rights (indeed Jews for Boycotting Israeli Goods is one of the most active groups in London). Henson asks why we don’t boycott “real oppressors like Iran or North Korea”, a curious example since we already have imposed swingeing sanctions on those countries, beyond the wildest dreams of pro-Palestinian activists. Conversely, Israel enjoys a “preferential trade agreement” with the E.U. and $3 billion a year of military “aid” from the United States; there really is no comparison. Of course it seems unfair that there is no comparable solidarity campaign with the people of Syria on campus, but these things need time to build and Palestinian liberation has had nearly 64 years to get to its current strength. It is rich of Henson to decry our alleged “hypocrisy” about the situation in Syria; since he purports to care so urgently about the situation there, he should redress the imbalance by expending effort to support the Syrian people himself instead of undermining those who are supporting the Palestinians. Justice is not a zero-sum game. Before apartheid ended in South Africa the regime there could have similarly claimed the world was being unfair by singling it out with sports boycotts and sanctions, but without that convergence of global outrage it’s quite plausible apartheid would still exist in South Africa today. To suggest that it’s anti-semitic to struggle for Palestinian liberation makes as much sense as accusing The Israeli-Palestinian conflict was likened to Apartheid by South African prime minister Hendrik Verswoerd. the movement against apartheid in Image courtesy of bisonblog via Flickrcc South Africa of being racist against infrastructure to illegal settlements boycott Israel was reported in the Is- ra, a student at the Islamic Universiwhite people. ty of Gaza wrote to us: “I ask everyin the West Bank. There’s no call to raeli press. The irony of railing against rac- one who jumps up and accuses us of No one seeks to financially “pun- boycott individual Israeli academish” innocent Israelis, but if inno- ics; in this regard the South Africa ism while besmirching the Pales- being terrorists as soon as they hear tinian liberation movement as “ter- of Palestinian armed resistance, let cent lives are saved from tank shells boycott was much more hard-line. or rockets the campaign will have us see that you are supporting our Some people wonder if there’s any been worth it. Any economic dam- point in taking a stance here on camlong-ignored non-violent resistance age would be trivial compared with pus? It actually does matter to the approaches that have been taken the devastation in the Gaza Strip, a people at the heart of the conflict. An up by Palestinians for decades.” In deliberate result of collective pun- open letter from students in Gaza to the words of Archbishop Desmond ishment by the Israeli government their peers in London stated: “Our Tutu, “if you are neutral in situa(could Henson explain why len- spirits have been raised by the boytions of injustice, you have chosen tils were banned?). The boycott cott efforts so far in European Unithe side of the oppressor,” and this isn’t against Israelis themselves but versities, exemplified by King’s Colis why QMSU must answer the call against companies and institutions lege where students and academics to boycott. which support the oppression of Pal- have begun a campaign against estinians; in fact the biggest target in the research collaboration between Sam Playle is a third year Physics Tower Hamlets at the moment is Ve- their university and Ahava, the cosstudent, President of the Palestine olia, a French company which sup- metics company based in an illegal rorists who murder Israeli civilians” Solidarity Society and QMSU’s ports the occupation by providing settlement,” while ULU’s decision to seems lost on Henson. Jehan Alfar- Postgraduate Officer elect.
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“ Palestinians: ethnically
cleansed to make way for Israel in 1948, forbidden from returning
”
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QMESSENGER MONDAY MARCH 5 2012
The Clarkson Syndrome Mann Virdee When searching for the most-loved figure in Britain, a name that seems to come up time and again is Jeremy Clarkson. In fact, on the Government’s epetitioning website, there are fifty-thousand people who are officially calling for Clarkson to be made Prime Minister. Unofficially, on Facebook, there is almost ten times that amount. There were over twenty-thousand people campaigning for Clarkson and his cronies to host the opening ceremony at the 2012 Olympics. It’s frightening and exasperating that a man who combines many of the worst attributes in humanity is almost universally adored; held up again and again as the epitome of Britishness. Jeremy Clarkson has a habit of inserting the phrase “in the world” at the end of his hyperbolic sentences in the hope it will lend verisimilitude to his assertions. And of course it works, because in Clarkson’s world opinions triumph over facts. Not to mention that his innate fear of facts prevents him from
uttering anything close the truth. Moreover, who can help but marvel at his unprecedented ability to offend large sections of society? I guess that’s all part of the joy of being a misogynistic, xenophobic, “pig-ugly homophobic twat”. Sure, there are those who will say I’m being unreasonable, that
all part of “That’s the joy of being
a misogynistic, xenophobic, ‘pigugly homophobic twat’
”
I should lighten up a bit, because Clarkson’s just a funny chap who doesn’t mean what he says and that no one is actually calling for him to be made Prime Minister. But I wish it were that simple. Clarkson’s mentality is contagious. His views, masked behind an infinitesimally thin veneer of humour as the moderate opinions
of the average Briton, are actually very extreme ideas, which earned him the praise of the Norwegian terrorist and mass murderer Anders Breivik in his 1500-page manifesto. Those who think Clarkson’s outrageous comments do not reflect his feelings are profoundly deluded. With an estimated worldwide audience of 385 million, we should be very afraid of the messages Top Gear sends out to the world. A lot of the people I know have grown up with Top Gear, and it’s worrying to hear some of them talk; it’s clear that their sentences are laden with Clarkson’s idiosyncrasies. Down to the very words they use, it’s obvious the style over substance rhetoric he champions so wonderfully has had a significant impact. We need to start realising how destructive the Clarkson Syndrome is before more people are infected. A good starting point would be to get Clarkson off of BBC. It’s abhorrent that we should be funding his moronic ramblings.
Comment
Pro-lifers to dictate at pregnancy counselling
Mann Virdee is a second year Natural Sciences student and the President of the Labour Society.
A word in defence of “LOL”
Anti-abortion groups have been given a say in pregnancy counselling Image courtesy of drewleavy via Flickr CC
rect, slightly patronising perspec- guage lovers” who renounce “lol” tive fails to consider, is this: lan- would think of themselves as any- Jess Ashman guage evolves. And the word “lol”, thing else? To condemn “lol”, is reI’d like to say a few words about a is a perfectly reasonable product of ally to condemn the development of Anti-abortionists being given a role in pregnancy counselling sounds language, and who wants that? word. Specifically, one of the most this development. If “lol” has a legitimate place in like an anti-government scare sto“LOL”, as a word, has grown. It is ubiquitous and universally dividing no longer used to mean “Laugh Out our written communication, I see ry, however MPs are actually conwords: “LOL”. Almost everyone who’s ever used Loud”. Instead, the word has devel- no reason why it cannot be used sidering putting such a plan ahead. social media has at some point oped away from its literal acronym- verbally too. As our digital lives be- Even humouring such an idea seems typed out the word “lol”, but from ic route, and, loathed as any lan- come ever more intertwined with to me unwise at best. I can only asan intellectual perspective, it seems guage purest will be to admit, the our physical existence the languag- sume that the plan is aimed to proto have become the in thing to de- word “lol” now serves a very useful es of the two spaces are merging, vide a “both sides of the coin” apnounce it, label it inferior, and sar- purpose, specific to our digitized and so “lol” has crossed over. It proach to pregnancy counselling donically demand to know if the world, which no other English word serves a useful function in spoken but it is my view that championing writer is physically “laughing out fulfills with anything like the same language, too. If “lol” is no long- being fair and balanced should not er meant to mean “laugh out loud”, take place within a counselling enloud” at their screen as they type it, level of concise eloquence. “Lol” is no longer “LOL”, no long- but instead serves this useful “I find vironment. Impartiality is the only er “Laugh Out Loud”, but is now a this amusing” function, what is to thing important in pregnancy counuseful signifier of “I find this amus- stop me supplementing a chuckle selling as it should only be there to facilitate the potential parent making”, or, “I understand that this is with a “lol”? If you consider yourself a lover ing their own decisions about their not meant to be taken seriously and find it in good humour”. And let’s of language, if you want to see our life and body. It would be just as wrong to allow face it, a simple “lol” is a much more communication develop with us economical way to express that into our new technological future, pro-choice groups a role in pregstop denouncing such a useful so- nancy counselling. Just because I than “IUTTINMTBTSAFIIGH”. Proclaiming that a word cannot cial tool, and a good word. I implore personally agree with them it does and God forbid someone might ac- transcend its original meaning is you, stop condemning the develop- not mean that by many they would not only pretentious and ridiculous ment of language, and “lol” to your not be viewed as an extremist group tually say it out loud! not fit to give advice. The only perI understand this of course, be- but also represents a set of strong- heart’s content. son fit to give advice is someone cause essentially what “LOL” lit- ly conservative values in relation who is qualified as a councillor and erally stands for, nobody actual- to what has always been an ever- Buzz Stas is a second year Film student is dedicated to giving impartial adly does when they use it. Howev- changing, excitingly liberal part of and writes for the Line of Best Fit and vice based on circumstance and the er, what this grammatically cor- our culture. How many of the “lan- the 405. opinions of the pregnant party. Of course it would be much less costly to allow activist groups to give out abortion counselling – parYou don’t have to be a writer to write for us. If you can form a coherent 450-word rant, or ticularly if that group is going to 1000-word spiel, you fit the bill! Additionally, we welcome you to respond to any of the persuade people not to go through articles in this week’s paper. And don’t forget to check out the Great Debate! Contact us at with expensive abortions. It would comment@qmessenger.co.uk or befriend us virtually on Facebook for more information. not, however, be the least costly approach in the long-run, as it would Yours forever and always, Comment.
Buzz Stas
of the “...one most ubiquitous and universally dividing words
”
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mean a rise in the amount spent on the effects of having an unwanted child, this could be anything from more counselling to help from social services. As is often the case, looking at what is better for the person being treated is what is actually better for everyone concerned. Unless we take the anti-abortion stance and take the unborn child as a person concerned – in which case, however heartless it may sound – we could still argue it would be best for all concerned for proper counselling to be given. Surely life is more important if it is a choice and not an obligation. Putting this aside, my own opinions on abortion should not be considered important to the debate. The only person’s opinions who matter in this situation is the person who is considering having an abortion. Their decision as to the best stance to take should be decided in an impartial environment and, with an issue as controversial as abortion, allowing such an environment to be facilitated should be the highest priority of the government when deciding upon how to provide pregnancy counselling. This should be irrespective of their personal beliefs on the matter as a person’s right to freedom to have their own opinions is more important than what the government believes is best for people. Jess Ashman is a first year English Literature student and a member of QMEquality.
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QMESSENGER MONDAY MARCH 5 2012
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Comment The union can take a lot away from the Student Barometer Survey Sophie Richardson President
Last week I received the results of this year’s International Student Barometer Survey and the Student Barometer Survey, both of which surveyed QMUL students on a number of different parts of your experience during the first month of the first semester. Our response rate was fairly high, 27%, with 32% being home students and 68% being international. There were some really very interesting results and lots for the union to take away, whether it be for future officers
to lobby for change on and campaign for or areas for improvement in the Students’ Union. One of the most surprising things for me, though, was the order in which those of you who responded ranked the factors that played into deciding which institution you wanted to go to. The top factor was Teaching Quality, which wasn’t so surprising, but then the following four factors were all linked to reputation; institution, qualification, education
system and department. I have always known that reputational factors play a role in deciding which university you want to study at but I never expected those reputational factors to be ranked higher than things such as social life and specific course of study. It’s all certainly been food for thought! On a different note, on behalf of your Women’s Officer, Wanda Canton, I’d like to invite you all to Festival51 which is taking place this week.
Festival51 promises to be a fantastic week of events featuring a range of sessions discussing women’s issues, from theatre and performance to workshops and films. It’s open to all and you can find out more information as well as watch QMEquality’s video, What Does Feminism Mean to You?, at www.qmsu.org/festival51 Sophie Follow me on Twitter for regular updates on my day-to-day work - @ PresidentQMSU
It’s been a hell of a week and the month ahead looks just as busy! George Ryan BLSA President
Oh what a week! March has hit us with full force. The month of merger, many UH finals, beer race (not promoting drinking), BLAS show, fashion show, Barts Arts, RAG week, the Big BL debate, course rep awards, colours and honours (QMers), sabb question time and what should have been the opening of the GriffInn. Everyones hard work culminating before easter when heads go down and exams kick
in. Just to pick a few highlights there, the GriffInn opening party is set for the first week of May (always subject to delay of course!). Furniture design was the topic of our last project meeting and some rather swanky tables, chairs and bar stools were picked by the committee which may I add now includes incoming President Andrew Smith. I’ve also been in touch with out web and marketing team to dis-
cuss how the new bar will be branded and advertised to students, including events and publishing The GriffInns first ever menu. I must say after the last few months mood seemed rather low about the refurbishment, having heard it was going to be delayed. However now the ball is rolling and our plans coming together I am once again looking forward to the revitalisation of our Association. The breath
of life it has needed for at least ten years has come. It is well and truely on its way to becoming the hub of student activity throughout the day and into the evening. With its new kitchen ready to serve what you demand I expect students will be drawn together, away from the local food holes under one roof. Following a period of mild ischaemia, the heart of BL will beat once more this May.
Come and join us at Rich Mix in Brick Lane for Awards and Honours Dom Bell VP Student Activities
On the 19th March QMSU is going from the Theatre Company, QM on how and what you’ve contribto hold its Awards & Honours, our Music Society, Nepalese Society uted to improving the student exflagship celebratory event reward- and Bhangra Society. perience. Everyone is welcome, so We are also pleased to announce if you haven’t been shortlisted this ing and recognising the commitment and endeavours of students the following nominations for the year this is still a great opportuinvolved in Societies, Media, Vol- society awards. If your society is nity to celebrate the successes for unteering, Campaigning, Charity listed you should buy your ticket 2011-12. Fundraising, and Student Coun- soon as we are limited for space. Tickets can be purchased on the cil. The Awards and Honours Cer- And if not then you may be nomi- QMSU website here: https://www. emony is going to be in Rich Mix nated for one of the many awards qmsu.org/ents/event/1696/?skin at the end of Brick Lane - a cul- in Media, Volunteering, Cam- =TesterHome&template=home_ tural venue fitting for our cele- paigning, Charity Fundraising, wide brations including performances and Student Council, depending
Society of the Year (nominees): Theatre Company, Malaysian Society, Neuroscience Society, New Turn, Entrepreneurs Society, Hindu Society Best New Society of the Year (nominees): Philosophy Society, Socialist Workers Students Society, Ability Society
I learnt more about the college in my first week as a Sabb as a student Oscar Williamson VP Education & Welfare
The best kind of policy is ‘evidence based’ policy. Governments and organisations put a lot of resources into trying to work out what is going on so they can design policies to respond to it. But once crunched, the data is usually squirrelled away in the organisation’s archives, never to be seen again. The government are consulting on opening up many of their databanks for public use. There are a lot of arguments in favour of this: the marginal cost of
disseminating the data once gathered is minute, it is more transparent, and it allows external groups to cast a fresh set of eyes over issues usually seen only by policy wonks. Similarly, QMUL has huge amounts of data about its courses and students. Some of it is rightly confidential, such as staff medical records. Most of it is confidential by default, because it hasn’t occurred to those who hold the knowledge to share it, or because they don’t have
the time, resources or platform to do so. I learnt more about the college in my first week as a Sabb than in the preceding three years, and this has proved invaluable as I work to improve it. Very little of that information was deliberately confidential, and if it was made publically available it would give students huge power to improve the QM experience. We’ve just finished a big survey on library books, recording of lectures,
printed reading packs, and other learning resources, for our Student Experience Seminar on March 7th. We’ve had some interesting results: 60% of History students polled would ban Facebook in the library, but 74% of medics would keep it. It underlines the point that the student body is large and diverse, and it can be difficult to please one group of students without enraging another. This is something to bear in mind when we make far-reaching decisions.
I’m no fan of the NUS but its election candidates are impressive Sam Creighton VP Communications
I was going to talk about how you should all run to be a managing editor (which you should! Deadline March 9th) but then I remembered that I spoke about that last week and while I accept you must have a high threshold for boredom to read these columns it would be downright cruel to simply repeat myself. So, what I shall instead natter about is the NUS press conference I went to yesterday. Last year, along with a group of other student jour-
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nalists, I set up The Delegate, which was a twice daily newspaper reporting on the NUS National Conference. This seems to have started a bit of momentum when it comes to media coverage of NUS elections and so this year they put on their first ever student media press conference to allow budding hacks the chance to grill all of the candidates running for fulltime positions in the organisation. Even as someone who isn’t the NUS’ biggest fan, I have to say that some
of the candidates were impressive, speaking with authority about their remits and striking the right balance between policy wonk and activist. Danielle Grufferty and Toni Pearce, current Vice Presidents Society & Citizenship and Further Education respectively showed very clearly how a second term in office would allow them to build on the great work they have done so far. Vice President Union Development has five strong candidates going for the position but
I think Luke Young, current NUS Wales President and Thomas Holick, a candidate from a FE background, have an edge the other lack. Our very own President Sophie Richardson is running for Vice President Higher Education, but the two of her three opponents who showed up to the press conference were also very impressive. Finally, for President, Liam Burns deserves a second term. Wow, that was boring to write, let alone read. Apologies.
In love? Out of love? Taking a surreptitious sideways glance at love? Just plain bored? Come see I Love You Because a hilarious musical by Joshua Salzman and Ryan Cunningham
A co-production between Queen Mary Theatre Company and Queen Mary Music Society. Saturday 10 11th and Sunday 11 12th of March at 7pm Tickets ÂŁ5 for members ÂŁ6 for none members Email qmtheatreco@gmail.com to book.
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QMESSENGER MONDAY MARCH 5 2012
Satire All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Please don’t mistake anything on this page for fact.
Haunted Hive
Image by QMUL Library. Yes, that’s right, the whole bloody library. Teaching section and all.
Keumars Al-Shabba The supernatural conspiracy behind Hive East closure. Earlier this year it was announced the East side of the Hive was to be closed in order to “create ‘The Hub’, a new centre for student activities” – or at least that was the official line. Recently a string of clues as to the real reason behind the closure of the famed centre for student procrastination have gradually been coming to light, adding a flavour of the extraordinary to these otherwise mundane refurbishment plans. It’s believed that key university staff have acknowledged the possibility that a supernatural being, or beings, may have adopted residence in the Hive after a team of paranormal researchers were hired during the winter break to investigate initial reports of unusual activity. According to our sources their findings appeared to be conclusive, and a second team of hunters was brought in at the start of February to eliminate the ethereal pests. It’s unclear what factored into their findings, but bitterly cold temperatures and high bursts of electromagnetic
fluctuations (EMF) are thought to have been key determinants. During the previous semester there had been a number of typical indicators pointing to the presence of a mystical entity haunting the East wing. Students weren’t often strangers to irritatingly faulty technology, with a chain of computers, keyboards and monitors failing to work correctly. A number of students had also come forward with worrying reports. An unnamed second year student claimed she felt “gradual temperature drops” throughout the months of November and December while attempting to garner some much-needed rest from a series of colds and hangovers. A first year student bemoaned that he had on one occasion discovered his laptop and possessions had mysteriously disappeared upon his return from the bathroom. One source close to the bizarre events told QMessenger that a team assemble “mostly at night when the number of students milling about has dwindled”. He went on to claim “the whole ‘refurbishment plans’ thing is just a cover story, although as it turns out some refurbishments will actually have to be made, mostly in order to reduce suspicion,
but also because, frankly, the place is in a bit of state.” Moreover it’s alleged that a number of high profile professors have joined the efforts of the on-hire team in a collaboration dubbed ‘The Ghost Squad’; a homage to the disappointing 2005 Channel 4 crime drama series ‘The Ghost Squad’, originally named after a real organisation which ran from 1994 to 1998; also called ‘The Ghost Squad’. Unfortunately there are still a number of unknowns in this cocktail of incredulity. Both the ghosts’ origins and whether or not they may be multiplying are yet unclear. Furthermore as to how exactly this ‘Ghost Squad’ intend to remove these seemingly harmless spirits remains a mystery; theories range from the stereotypical Catholic exorcism to the use of a highpowered electromagnetic supervacuum accidentally developed by physicists studying time travel. In any case, staff appear confident all traces of paranormal vermin will have been disposed of in due course. ‘The Hub’, as it will be known in the future, isn’t set to open until the new academic year in September, with a temporary “ghost-free” space currently in development for use in mid-March.
Societies News I applied to come to Queen Mary for the fantastic course, great campus and most of all… London! So when I found my open day letter in the mailbox I was naturally very excited! My flight arrived at Heathrow on Tuesday morning, and I jumped straight on the tube. It was my first experience on the underground and I loved it. All the faces, here and there, then they’re gone. So many people passing through life! I almost accidently got off at Bethnal Green, which might have been a problem considering I didn’t have a map of the area! So anyway, I got off at Mile End and made my way down Mile End Road to the Queens’ Building where I was due to have an interview. The sun was shining, I had Coldplay on and life was feeling great. I was immediately struck by the amazing architecture of the buildings down Mile End Road, they were all so different; some new, some old. Sirens everywhere, I really felt the hustle
Coincidence of the week
Scratch and sniff
Do you want to be my girlfriend? Breathe for yes or alternatively lick your elbow for no.
New ‘Boris Bus’ (the cornerstone of his previous campaign) arrives on the streets of London only weeks before the mayoral elections.
Scratch and sniff to guess the mystery smell.
Enyi Okoronkwo
Aaron Barber
A: Newspaper
satire@qmessenger.co.uk
Kurt Kilbride - Atlanta, GA
What people said about the new Drapers (Bar and Kitchen) “At night it will still be full of dickheads” -Toby Jeff “Less of a cave, more of a Hollyoaks set” - Aaron Barber “Annoyingly mediocre” -Samor Anaivs-Troppin “60 grand to make it look like wood? I’d have done it for fifty quid” -Ivor Nadir “It looks like a beach hut” -Lawrence Jones “I can’t tell the difference” -Blind Man “Has Ikea been sick in here? It has.” -Kaz Gander “WHAT?” -Deaf Man “I can’t wait until we can drink red beer and ride around on the wheely tables.” -Mike Pickering
You know when it’s Chat-up line of the week
and bustle of the big British city. One of the most fascinating moments of my life happened on that day. I crossed the road towards the Queens’ Building, but as I did it I spat out my gum, right there in the middle of the road without thinking. About three seconds later I heard somebody groan and curse. I turned and saw that a girl had stepped on the gum, and was standing on one foot like a flamingo, trying to pick it off. I couldn’t help but laugh, I didn’t really feel bad, I guess you could say I was enjoying the moment. Then out of nowhere I heard a loud horn blow and saw the speeding bus for only a moment before she was completely obliterated. Her head burst on impact and her body spread on the tarmac like jell-o. I walked on. I recently received the great news that I will be able to do my study abroad year at Queen Mary and I can’t wait to start. I hope Drapers is ready for me!
Also in the news this week... “Oscars: Gaddaffi wins best actor for his part in the Libya uprising.” “Whitney Houston’s corpse to go on ‘Human Puppet’ tour.” “30th anniversary of Falklands War to be celibrated with second Falklands War.”
Cross Figure
Cartoon by Maria D’Amico
Really Difficult Bridges
Sudoku
Last week’s answers
15
QMESSENGER MONDAY 5 MARCH 2012
Sport
In the spotlight: Rock Climbing Society Tahmeed Zaki Not many societies will make you sign a declaration that you understand that there is a risk of serious injury and/or death, but that is the unique position occupied by the Queen Mary Rock Climbing Society! Be that as it may, this minor niggle associated with the Queen Mary Rock Climbing Society is easily outweighed by the far more positive aspects of the society. The society officially meets each Monday and Friday evening and Wednesday afternoon, at the Mile End Climbing Wall. Unofficially, the hundred or so members, provided they have signed the necessary paper work with the Mile End Climbing Wall, can climb any time they please. This means that members only commit the time they can instead of feeling an obligation towards the society. And unlike many other sports clubs, members of all abilities are welcome to join. Each year the society welcomes everyone from the novice climber to the expert climber, to the former climber who wants to get back into climbing after many months of inactivity. This mix of different levels makes for a unique rapport within the society as there is
Climbing their way to success always someone more experienced to show you how things are done,
Image by Darcie Tyler-Henley while there is always someone less experienced that might need your
help. And then there is the strong
social aspect of the club, run by the enthusiastic duo of president Emma-Jane Heaton and social secretary Harriet Hughes. There are social night outs organised with almost clockwork regularity. This year alone, there have been, on average, about two to three socials organised per month, including Hail Mary, so if you’ve missed one social there is always another one around the corner for you to participate in. The social evenings cover a wide range of events, whether it is pub crawls, club nights, simply getting a take-away at one of the members’ flats or all of the above in one night. We’ve even held a film night - all sorts of tastes are accounted for in Rock Climbing Society so you will definitely find something of interest. There is also the physical side. A half hour session of bouldering will work your arm muscles more than two hours of bicep curls at the gym. If you are not sure that you will be able to cope with the physical demands then don’t worry, as the Mile End Climbing Wall caters for climbers of all levels and, if you stick at it, you can go from novice climber to an expert in just over a year. That is if you’re not put off by the risk of death!
Comment
Hail Mary, full of (dis)grace » A somewhat offensive comment on “sporting traditions”
Caitlin Ketley It is no secret that Drapers staff, exposed as they are to the disgusting excesses of student bingedrinking on a weekly basis, will still go to extraordinary lengths to avoid the Hail Mary shift. It is truly the eighth circle of hell (yes, even Dante didn’t venture to this one) to be sober at this so-called “Midweek Mayhem”. Save a brave few, it is also feared and rejected by the majority of the student population outside sports teams. And who could be surprised? Crying, vomiting, fornication: that night has it all, and it’s all cranked up to the highest, most histrionic level. To summarise for those fortunate enough to be uninitiated (pun intended) in the miseryfuck that is Hail Mary, it is a monthly night at Drapers involving a team video, sportsmanship awards, and copious quantities of red beer. Sportsmen indulge in fisticuffs, sportswomen in drunken gymnastics and everyone, regardless of gender, screams pejorative terms at their team mates. “Slag” ap-
pears to be a particular favourite. Worse yet, during initiation ceremonies, sports team freshers are allegedly “encouraged” to drink one another’s sick. Words fail to describe how relieved I am to have never seen such a harrowing sight. It is a source of particular amazement to me that I have yet to see such an opinion expressed in these pages. How could anyone fail to hate the hideous and moist - a combination of red beer, sambuca and sweat, I believe - experience of the Drapers Club room during team videos? I’ve seen people burst into uncontrollable, inconsolable, hysterical tears in there. Hail Mary room 2 is like a giant game of Sardines, just with more grinding and general crotchrubbing. Not forgetting, of course, the occasional burst of bizarre and unprovoked violence. Here’s an example: a few years ago, a firstyear student went for hepatitis testing after an unknown sporting male bit her and drew blood. An extreme case, perhaps, but evidence of the alcohol-fuelled aggression typical of Hail Mary. Once the awards are over, the
night turns to dancing and general melodrama. Fear not if this frivolity does not appeal to you, it appears to be completely socially acceptable to take a tequila-induced nap in the far corner of the smoking area. Or perhaps a cubicle in the Ladies toilet appeals to you more? Go ahead, no one here will judge you. Not one iota. And if, after a few jugs of Red Beer, you find yourself unable to distinguish between the shrieking girls in polo shirts, never fear, a system is in place. Each young lady is allotted a nickname on the basis of some previous mischief and this pseudonym is emblazoned across her shirt. A few amusing examples: Fresher Fucker; Cherry Licker; and, probably the most concise and effective, Vagina. I’m not denying the right of sporting teams to enjoy their traditions and celebrate their successes. That’s all fine and dandy, honest. I just wish you’d drink less, scream less, and vomit less. Your relationship with your team doesn’t need to be based on shared bodily fluids and phallus-fixated camaraderie. Frankly, we’re too old for this shit.
Red Beer (aka Snakebite): tastes good, bro, I swear. Image by Alexis Fisher via Flickr CC
sport@qmessenger.co.uk
16
QMESSENGER MONDAY 5 MARCH 2012
Sport
Queen Mary RFC reach the semi finals
Queen Mary Rugby Football Club in action
James Bulman After going through to the last 32 of the Cup, Queen Mary have shown that they have entered London’s top flight of rugby. The last 16 game that ended with Queen Mary winning 76-3 over Canterbury CC 2nd set the foundation for what has become a real chance at reaching the final and just perhaps winning the title itself. After our emphatic win over Canterbury at the end of November, we went on to a 50 to 0 victory over local East End rival UEL in
sport@qmessenger.co.uk
the last 16. A strong performance that showed that even with players injured Queen Mary could produce a winning team. Thanks to James Mountain and the Student Union, who laid on a 70 seater coach, we were able to take almost 40 supporters to Chislehurst to watch the game. Our supporters were great and made good use of the bar. We hope to take more supporters down to our games in the near future. While many people went home over reading week, the rugby team had to prepare for their mid-week quarter final against Medway
Spartans 1st XV. This new up and coming team had shown their worth by beating Writtle 1st XV in the last 16 to reach the quarters and we knew that this was going to be a tough game. Come Wednesday the team reached Chislehurst in what must have been some of the worst conditions to play rugby in (especially for a dynamic team like Queen Mary). The rain was hammering down with the bite only worsened by a strong wind. Despite this and not performing quite as strongly as usual, the boys managed to score early and put some pressure
on the Spartans. However, the Medway with a huge pack managed to go over the line and come half time were trailing by 3 points. In his half time speech, captain Joe McDonald told us straight that we either dug in and turned the game around now or went home knowing we had not fought hard enough. His words seemed to resonate with all the boys. In the second half Queen Mary showed that they have the mental strength and determination to come away with the win despite not playing their best. The match ended 29-17 to QM. It was a tough game and, fair play, Medway were a
Image courtesy of James Bulman hard team to beat, but QM were the stronger side and deserved to win. The semi final is against University of Kent on Wednesday 7th March. With the support of the university behind us we can really give us all something to be proud of and put Queen Mary on the map as a top sporting as well as academic university. Show your support for the QM rugby boys by liking our Facebook page or following us on Twitter. If you want to join the club or wish to know anything about us, please email us at queenmaryrfc@gmail. com.