QMessenger Issue 40

Monday September 26th 2011

Should the London rioters be punished?

Comment, p. 7

Students left homeless as London halls run short News, p. 5

The Newspaper of Queen Mary Students’ Union

The Rundown QMSU passes new election regulations The last Student Council passed the new set of regulations which will determine how this year’s Union elections are run. p. 3

www.qmessenger.co.uk

How did Queen Mary really do in the NSS?

Room booking fiasco

Changes in room booking procedures are seeing student events forced to be cancelled. p.3

First UGM called

QMSU has announced the date of the year’s first General Meeting as October 10th. p. 3

Rogue landlords and super sheds

Tower Hamlets Council vows to crack down on poor housing conditions p.4

Uni home swap

Students have started flying one coop for another to save on living costs. p. 4

Halls shortages

Many students left in the lurch as universities across the capital come up short in offering accommodation. p. 5

National demo called

The National Campaign Against Fees and Cuts has called for students to turn out and march on November 9th. p. 6

New initiative to improve QM prospects The career prospects of QM graduates has been falling, is the Graduate Attributes scheme the answer? p. 12

Every year, final year students take part in the National Student Survey - but are their views really being listened to? Image by Robert Pritchard.

Lara Lavattiata Queen Mary scored five percent above the national average in the latest National Student Survey (NSS). However, the process with which NSS collects its data means that the results may obscure, rather than reveal, student opinion of their departments.

Question 22 of the NSS asks final year students to rate their “overall satisfaction” with their institution. This is the statistic that departments use when publicising their student satisfaction levels. However, when the answers given to question 22 are compared to those given to the first 21 questions - which look at specific aspects of academic support, quality of teaching and assessment and feedback - it can be seen that the results of ques-

Issue 40

tion 22 are disproportionately high.

On average, the answers students gave about how satisfied they were overall ranked 10% higher than the average of their answers to all other questions about specific elements of student satisfaction. The problem with departments using overall satisfaction data to rank themselves is that this figure takes into account extra-curricular activities. This could account for the disparity between average mark for questions 1 to 21 and question 22. Therefore, question 22 may be considered indicative of the performance of the institution as a whole, but not of individual departments.

Professor Susan Dilly, Vice Principal for Teaching and Learning at Queen Mary said: “I am pleased that QM has improved in the NSS

scores this year and believe that this is a fair reflection of the many initiatives across the College to improve the student experience. I do, however, agree that the survey is really only an opinion poll and not a rigourously structured piece of research so you need to be cautious when drawing conclusions.”

The published results for Biology, Aerospace Engineering, and International Relations were all 20% higher than their actual scores with the score for the Biology department’s 100% score standing out quite clearly.

Medicine at Queen Mary ranked eighth out of 32 medical schools, above the prestigious Cambridge University which is generally considered to be one of the best universities for medicine.

Continued on page 2...

QM vindicates generations of complaining men Sam Creighton Queen Mary researchers have proven that ‘man flu’ does, in fact, exist.

Dr. Scotland, of the William Harvey Research Institute, has been studying the immune systems of mice when exposed to different infections and has uncovered the fact that the male immune system is less effective than its female counterpart.

Dr. Scotland’s team studied the white blood cells in the lungs and stomachs of the animals, where the first line of defence agaisnt invading infections occurs. They found that females had twice as many white blood cells and that these cells acted more effectively than those belonging to males. Crucially, females did not release as many of the chemicals that stimulte immune system response, and it is the release of these chemicals that make you feel unwell.

Dr Scotland said: “Man flu is a bit of a joke, but from what I’m seeing there is a real difference.”

QMessenger is not asserting however that men are not guilty of exaggerating the severity of their illnesses in order to garner sympathy, because that would be a lie...

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QMESSENGER MONDAY SEPTEMBER 26 2011

News Editorial Team: • Executive Editor - Sam Creighton vpcommunications@qmsu.org • Managing Editor - Caz Parra editor@qmessenger.co.uk • Sub-Editors - Robert Pritchard, Maria Sowter and Lauren Mason proof@qmessenger.co.uk •News Editors - Rosie Reynolds and Kaamil Ahmed news@qmessenger.co.uk • Comment Editors - Ross Speer and Kashmira Gander comment@qmessenger.co.uk • Satire Editors: Ben Richardson and Aaron Barber satire@qmessenger.co.uk • Sports and Societies Editors - Shafi Musaddique, Hollie Carter and Ashley Sweetman sport@qmessenger.co.uk • Photography Editors - Keeren Flora and Bethia Stone photography@qmessenger.co.uk

You should be writing for us.

Come and meet us every day this week at 6pm in the Blomeley Centre

The Cloud How you fit into the news

The English Defence League have announced plans for a second protest in East London at the end of October. At their last rally, 60 members were arrested after their bus broke down outside Queen Mary.

The IMF has cut its prediction of how much it thinks Britain’s economy will grow this year for the third time in nine months.

They have also suggested that the pace of deficit reduction in Britain will need to be slowed because of the impact it is having on economic growth.

The National Campaign Against Fees and Cuts has called for a demonstration on the 9th November to support the strike action being planned by the TUC for the 30th November.

QMessenger is printed at Mortons of Horncastle Ltd, Media Centre, Morton Way, Horncastle, Lincolnshire, LN9 6JR. Tel: 01507 523 456. Each issue has a print run of 1,000 and costs £445 to print and deliver.

The university has joined the Living Wage Foundation which has called for firms to introduce a living wage of £8.30 an hour in order to bring families out of poverty.

Academics at Queen Mary hosted a Researcher’s Night last week, inviting the public to watch and participate in demonstrations of cutting edge technology and the building of a Lego universe.

Established in 2008, QMessenger is the free weekly newspaper of Queen Mary Students’ Union. We are proud of our editorial independence and endeavour to always hold the College, Union and external bodies to account and to provide the best news and analysis to the students of Queen Mary, University of London.

QMessenger is created entirely by students and the publication retains all copyright of design, text, photographs and graphics, along with the individual contributor.

Any views expressed in QMessenger ‘Question Mark’ section are those of the individual writer and do not necessarily reflect those of the paper, the editorial board, Queen Mary Students’ Union or Queen Mary, University of London.

@QMessenger

In this digital age of ours it would be remiss for us not to keep an eagle eye on our online presence.So,here are the best messages tweeted @QMessenger this week. @annamatheson @QMessenger LOVING your map,or should I say exquisitely a-mazing drawing,of QM! I want this on my wall as a poster!

The things you do for @ QMessenger.I’ll be taking photos of a porn star who’s set to chair a debate a the university...

Get your hands on a copy of @QMessenger the Uni paper for QM out today! 1st edition I’ve not worked on in 2yrs but proud of the new team!

news@qmessenger.co.uk

Images by: English Defence League by Matthew TK Taylor Pakistan flood victim by Joshua Kruger (Flickr) David Cameron by Ben Fisher/GAVI alliance (Flickr)

A Muslim academic who was detained on suspicion of being a member of al-Qaida has won his action against Nottingham Police who admitted that they had no evidence that he had ever been involved in terrorism.

The university rose five places to 23rd in the country in the The Times Good University Guide’s rankings this month.

The Tower Of London have lent support to Tower Hamlets Council’s decision to bid to become a city as part of the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee in 2012 when one place in Britain will be awarded city status.

An estimated £20m has been spent at Westfield in the first week following the centre’s opening.

More than 30 million people in Asia were displaced by natural disaster in 2010 according to the Asian Development Bank. This month there have been floods in Japan and Pakistan and an earthquake caused severe damage in India and Nepal.

NSS not an accurate measure of student satisfaction Continued from page1 Dan Poon, a fourth year medical student said: “There is definitely a sense that the school is genuinely trying to engage with students on various aspects of the course.”

The survey asks UK undergraduates in their final year a total of 22 questions. They range from the quality of teaching to academic support and personal development.

Student satisfaction is always

shown on these league tables, and so the use of the wrong data by the university gives a false impression.

The survey was first commissioned in 2005 by the Higher Education Funding Council for England to give feedback on the quality of university life. The survey, however, isn’t compulsory for students to take, which raises questions about the credibility of the results because of often low participation.

There have been cases where

some universities have put pressure on their students to give positive results. In 2008, a lecturer at Kingston University was recorded telling students to increase their scores. He said: “If Kingston comes bottom…no one is going to want to employ you because they’ll think your degree is shit”.

Professor Susan Dilly defended the university’s use of the survey: “The good things about the NSS and other student surveys are that it gives us feedback on

how we are doing and ideas on the areas to focus on for improvement. The answers provided by students in the NSS are consistent with information from our internal surveys and evaluations and so are likely to be broadly correct.”

An exception is the film department whose scores for the final question were lower than the average of the previous 21, indicating that they rate their course more than their overall university experience.

QMESSENGER MONDAY SEPTEMBER 26 2011

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News

Council passes new election regulations for 2011-12 QMSU elections Caz Parra QMSU has adopted a new set of election regulations to govern the procedures through which the union elects its officers.

The motion, presented by QMSU President, Sophie Richardson and seconded by QMSU Vice President of Education and Welfare, Oscar Williamson, clarifies the complaints and appeals process and the role of media coverage within the elections. It clears up existing

confusion around the regulation of online campaigning and, the Union hopes, ‘future-proofs’ the regulations against developments in social media. By-elections will now be run under the same regulations as normal elections.

The new document was passed

by Student Council at the emergency meeting of September 19th, of the 23 councillors present 22 voted in favour and one abstained.

The new regulations feature a more comprehensive set of guidelines regarding the usage of digi-

tal marketing. The new regulations specifically name Facebook,Twitter, Google+ and more as possible tools for campaigning. In line with the old version of the same document, candidates are required to notify and grant admin rights to all websites to the Deputy Returning Officer, who monitors all online campaigns.

Candidates are now allowed to open their sites to up to 20 people before the start of the campaigning period in order to prepare, however these sites must remain secret and

the Deputy Returning Officer must be notified.

The previous set of election regulations were only adopted last year, after then Postgraduate Officer Thomas Chigbo wrote and presented the document to council. The major change these introduced was to switch the method of monitoring candidate spending from a spending cap of £150 to a points-based system. The new regulations do not favour either system, instead saying: “The system for administering the Candidate Budget shall be de-

termined by Student Council in the first semester of the academic year”.

According to Richardson, the changes proposed are a reflection of last year’s election process and will improve the overall running of QMSU elections next year. Preparation for Union elections is due to start within the next month, which is why they needed to be approved at the beginning of the term.

The document will soon be added to the QMSU by-laws and will be made available on the Students’ Union website at www.qmsu.org.

New rules mean fewer guests at events Date set for the first UGM Josh Robin Thorpe External guests could be barred from attending future events held on campus because of a possible change in room booking protocol.

An event organised by the Debating Society which was supposed to take place this week had to be cancelled after it emerged that Tower Hamlets students would be refused entry to the event taking place on the Mile End campus.

Wanda Canton, Women’s Officer, said: “We were trying to organize a debate on lapdancing public to all Tower Hamlets students, we emailed QM and were told we were not allowed to host on campus”.

Canton also said that Events

Management want to stop any political events happening and are “trying to bully us”. She added that she thinks Queen Mary will become isolated as a result of the proposals.

Though the university was unable to comment at this moment, a booking form from Student and Campus services obtained by QMessenger showed signs of the rules already being implemented.

It stated: “The right to invite persons who are not members or employees onto College premises rests exclusively with the College council.”

It outlines that all meetings or activities in the College “are open only to members and employees of QM unless permission has been authorised”. It was also stated that cancella-

tion prior to planned meetings will only occur if it is not possible for the event to continue “without risk of damage, injury, harassment or serious disturbance”.

Dominic Bell,Vice President of Student Activities, said: “External speakers are allowed, they operate on 21 days notice for external speakers, which is actually best practice.”

“One student tried to book a room for a film viewing and she wanted to have external guests there and was told that she couldn’t”, said Bell.

“I don’t really agree with it, I think we should still police it because we’ve got a duty of care for students as well. If an event is going to be unsafe then that’s alright, but I don’t see why we should be closing our doors.”

Bell said he plans to work with the head of Events Management and advised that in the meantime societies should “wait it out” while a solution is found. He added that he is “unsure about the procedures’’ involving room bookings. He also mentioned that QM departments often struggle with the regularly changing rules.

Changes in rules on room bookings could lead to events being cancelled.

Image by Keeren Flora.

The UGM is the best chance students’ have to direct the union. Image by Caz Parra. er roles have come about after a lot of thinking, discussions and Matthew Martin planning," Sophie Richardson, Make sure you don't miss out on the Students’ Union President the opportunity to have your say explained. "We looked objecon the shape of your Students’ tively at all 41 roles and asked Union. This semester's General ourselves which ones are truMeeting is to be held on Octo- ly representative and which ber 10 at 7pm in the Arts 2 Lec- groups of students are we not ture Theatre on the Mile End currently providing representacampus. General Meetings are tion for." open to every student at Queen Anyone can add items to Mary and are a great way to the agenda by tabling a momake your voice heard. Already tion and sending it to tom.suton the agenda are the chang- ton@qmsu.org by October 5th at es to the Union's officers - es- 5pm. As there are only two Gensentially, a restructuring of the eral Meetings each year, it's impeople who represent the stu- portant that you attend if you dents and direct the Union's ac- can. They're the perfect place to tivities - alongside plans for the make your voice heard, and the Union to adopt 'Articles of As- more students that attend, the sociation' that would allow the louder the student voice can be.

Union to register itself as an in- After all, your ideas could help corporated charity. "The chang- others at Queen Mary for years es we are proposing to the Offic- to come.

To read all of the articles from QMessenger and CUB, plus a whole host of original content, go to www.qmessenger.co.uk.

The online home of QMSU student media. news@qmessenger.co.uk

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QMESSENGER MONDAY SEPTEMBER 26 2011

News Tower Hamlets to crack University sees students fly the coop down on rogue landlords just to land straight into another one Max Burman As students across the country settle into new accommodation, housing will no doubt have been a hot topic around campuses.

For some of East London’s most vulnerable, though, the issue is not as high on the agenda as it should be.

Newham and Tower Hamlets are just two of the boroughs in which vulnerable groups, from illegal immigrants to those earning below the minimum wage, have been affected by rogue landlords operating socalled ‘super sheds’. The sheds have been described as a throwback to Victorian era slums, with an Independent journalist who accompanied police on a raid of the illegal structures claiming they were “often dangerous, cramped and unsanitary. Some have only a hole in the floor for a toilet, others are made from wood with a felt covering for a roof”. The sheds are often grossly overcrowded, while their apparently unremarkable appearance and the tenants’ reticence to involve the law has allowed the practice to spread across the capital.

Housing and homelessness charity Shelter have been at the heart of the campaign to end the illegal practice, with the concern being that the vulnerable tenants are left dependent on both the whim of the landlord, and the action of the authorities.

A researcher from the charity, Bill Rashleigh, explained: “The danger is that tenants will be made imminently homeless, because when the council catches up with the landlords, you are going to get turfed out.

You also have no recourse to law.

If the landlord whacks the rent up then you have no claims to make under the law. You have no laws to protect your rights,

and you are left open to exploitation, with your health at risk and with no security”.

With rising prices in the private housing sector and a greater strain on the provision of affordable social housing, many are left without suitable accommodation, some so desperate they turn to rogue landlords, claims Mr Rashleigh. “These super sheds are one example of how so many people aren’t able to access a decent and affordable home. Many have no option but to turn to these places. High prices are meaning that people are struggling to find the kind of accommodation that is suitable for their needs. This is an extreme example of something that is affecting a huge number of people”.

London Mayor Boris Johnson has received strong criticism for his plans on housing in the capital, with Labour’s London spokeswoman on the issue claiming his plans “are all leading in one direction – a wholesale attack on social housing and social segregation on an unprecedented scale”.

The effects of Government and London Assembly policies on the issue of ‘super sheds’ and social housing in general remains to be seen, but in the meantime local authorities are finally set to address the problem. Newham Council have earmarked £1million for a special taskforce on slum accommodation, while Tower Hamlets have also vowed to take “decisive action” on the issue, as well as seeking advice from some Queen Mary staff.

The East London Community Land Trust campaigns for cheaper housing and hopes to win a decision this week on plans to develop the abandoned St. Clements hospital site in Mile End into affordable housing.

Newham Council has pledged to crack down on poor housing conditions in the local area. Image by Nico Hogg.

news@qmessenger.co.uk

Rosie Reynolds Two mothers from Brighton have come up with an idea that could change not only the way students live at their universities, but also the way they choose them in the first place.

Unihomeswap works by allowing students to fly one nest for another. A student using the system will just swap rooms with another, who lives in the place they want to study in. Its creators believe this incredibly simple idea will allow students to save money and go to the university of their choice, whilst still remaining in a caring, supportive environment with links to the wider community.

‘Swappers’ and their families are encouraged to draw up contracts with each other about bills, food, curfews, visitors, smoking and any other issues that may arise. The arrangement is similar to that of taking part in a foreign exchange programme.

Hermione Pask and Becci Carey started the initiative because they were concerned about the huge amount of debt many young people acquire during their time at university.

Their website says, “For most students, the only way to get to university is to take on an enormous loan. The prospect of entering the workplace with a huge debt is a daunting one.

As a result, many students are

staying at home and studying at their local university to save money and others have decided not to go at all.” Unihomeswap means that people can still live at home for free but not at their home, and in a town of their choice. Some students may also benefit from remaining in a family environment, and will appreciate keeping their home comforts and routine. Pask said, “I hope other parents and students will share my vision of the shifting attitudes towards accessing higher education by putting value back into the family environment. I believe this will help support the concept of social mobility for future generations.”

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QMESSENGER MONDAY SEPTEMBER 26 2011

News

Students left with no place to go

Not all students are lucky enough to get a place in on-campus accommodation, some are left homeless or exploited. Image by Keeren Flora.

Rosie Reynolds For most students, an integral part of their university experience is moving out of home.

Halls of residences are offered to first years as a kind of ‘soft landing’ - you’re independent from your parents but are surrounded by your peers, don’t have to sort out electricity bills or an internet connection and still have the peace of mind of campus security. Living in halls is what most people coming to university look forward to and worry about most in equal measure, and yet increasing numbers of students aren’t even being given the chance to apply.

Universities across the country are reporting a large shortfall in the number of rooms they are able to rent compared to how many students they were welcoming in September - Falmouth University College has installed bunk beds in 200 of its rooms, whilst Anglia Ruskin University has written to local residents encouraging them to rent any spare rooms out to students. But what does this mean for University of London and, more specifically, Queen Mary?

STRAINED First years not getting halls isn’t a new phenomenon - students

who come to QM through clearing or put it down as their insurance choice often find that they’re expected to seek out their own accommodation. Eleanor Hallam, a third year History student who arrived at QM in 2009, said “I got into uni through clearing and was told that I probably wouldn’t get accommodation, so I made other arrangements.” But the accommodation services in London this year seemed to be more strained than ever. What with a record number of students entering the higher education system ahead of fees rising in 2012, as well as local landlords being able to charge up to four times the normal price per week for flats and houses because of the Olympics, returning students and first years alike are finding themselves with no place to call home.

“I have had horrific problems finding somewhere to live this year,” a London student told the BBC. “Everywhere seems to be taken, and what’s left seems to be overpriced or far too small. My university have been no help whatsoever when I have given my desperate pleas for help. I have simply been forwarded a standard email with a list of house hunting websites - one of which is branded with the university logo, which I know isn’t actually managed by the universi-

ty.” His problems are shared

by QM students. John Du Fei wrote on the QMUL Accommodation Seekers Facebook page which had 142 members at the time QMessenger went to press “I’ve looked at a few places and gone to see them, but they’re either too expensive or too disgusting.”

DIRTY AND BROKEN Students this year seem to be living further away from campus than ever before, in an attempt to beat rising rents. Sosa Sharon said on the QMUL Accommodation Seekers page “If you really want to find a place, a good tip is to look out beyond Mile End. Places like Leyton are really nice; don’t be fooled by distance.” Lots of returning students are looking further afield because they are frustrated with the quality of accommodation offered in Mile End and Stepney. “Estate agents and landlords seem to think that because we’re students, we won’t care that everything is dirty or broken,” said Rachael Young, a third year Biology student here at QM. “My house this year has a cracked window and when I reported it to the estate agent, he seemed surprised that we even bothered to call. I wish we’d looked a bit further away from campus, because friends that live

in Stratford and Leyton seem to be paying the same as us for a much better deal.”

If returning students are finding it hard, then freshers are finding it harder still. A lot of students are turning up in London to look for accommodation with little or no idea of the local area or even how rentals and house shares work.

While returning students are often looking in groups for whole houses, first years tend to just look for a single room and these are often much thinner on the ground. Yasmin Akthar said on the QMUL Accommodation Seekers page “[Estate agents] have no 3 beds, 2 beds are extortionate, and they don’t really do one room to rent, it’s usually a property as a whole. I’d recommend going with a group of people and going to different agents after making appointments.” While the ULU Accommodation Office will provide lists of university approved landlords and hotels for short term stays, some feel that more could be done. A parent told the BBC News website “My son got into a college of University of London through clearing and the service the accommodation office has provided has been a joke. They couldn’t even provide a list of local hostels and have been generally hopeless.

I don’t know why they even

bother coming in to work. At the moment he is in a youth hostel we found, not thanks to the university.”

OUTRAGEOUS PRICES So what can ULU do to help solve the problem? At the moment, students who don’t qualify for collegiate halls are offered intercollegiate halls or halls owned by private companies. Intercollegiate halls are few and far between and fill up very quickly, whilst the halls owned by private companies tend to be hugely more expensive than ones owned by colleges, sometimes charging up to double the rent price per week for the same services. Vraj Domalip, ULU President, said “A better option than private halls is to look for shared accommodation, rather than paying the outrageous amounts private halls charge. The ULU Accommodation Office will help with any queries students may have.”

For any freshers reading this that didn’t get halls; it may feel like the end of the world, but it’s not.

While you may not have a readymade group of people to go to Drapers with, and you might have to walk to campus by yourself, it won’t be like that all year. I myself didn’t get halls when I applied to QM, and although I perhaps had to try a little harder, I have a wide group of good friends. If you get involved, others will involve you.

news@qmessenger.co.uk

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QMESSENGER MONDAY SEPTEMBER 26 2011

News The National Campaign Against Fees and Cuts calls on students to turn out for a national day of action Alex Badrick With tuition fees set to increase up to a maximum of £9,000 a year from next academic year, and the full impact of education budget cuts still to be felt, the National Campaign Against Fees and Cuts (NCAFC) has scheduled a demonstration in central London on Wednesday November 9th from 12pm, with the tagline “defend education, fight privitisation [sic].”

This follows NUS President Liam Burns’ call in The Guardian last month for a “national manifestation of anger”, “direct action” and a UK Uncut style approach to creative protest. These remarks sparked controversy be-

cause the publication of the interview coincided with the August riots, causing Conservative Future (the youth wing of the Conservative Party) to call for a retraction “at a time when thugs and criminals are terrorising families and communities.”

Burns’ comments were made after the NUS National Conference, at which he was elected, voted against a proposed national demonstration, and NUS will have no official capacity in the November 9th demonstration.

Sophie Richardson, President of QMSU said: “At the union we support free education and we also have a policy against fees and cuts. With this particular national demo, we are planning to take it to the Student Council, or

possibly to the General Meeting which is taking place in October, and put it to the students whether it’s a good way to spend our campaign resources and time.”

She added: “I think it would be really sad if people started confusing the riots with student protests; protesting is a perfectly valid way to campaign against something you’re not happy with.”

Three NCAFC members were reportedly arrested at the recent Liberal Democrat Party Conference after dropping a banner reading, “traitors not welcome” outside of the conference hotel, the group is also planning a day of mass direct action and walkouts to coincide with the 30th November trades union strike, which campaign group QMUL

Stop the Cuts supports. Their representative Ross Speer said: “We absolutely support the demonstrations against fees. We’re going to be out on November 9th, we’re going to be getting as many people as possible. Following on from that we’ll be supporting the strikes on the 30th, it’ll be the biggest in 90 years, which will include our lecturers and support staff. [After the riots] I think people are going to see [the protests] in a different light, but look at how the government has responded to the riots ... because of all these things I think we need to be out there in bigger numbers, protesting even harder because it’s not just fees here, actually our civil liberties are in serious danger.”

Want to make your voice heard? Want to shape the direction of your Union?

Union General Meeting Make sure your vote counts and make sure you shape your time at university.

Monday October 10 Arts 2 Lecture Theatre 7pm For more information go to www.qmsu.org/generalmeetings news@qmessenger.co.uk

New initiative could solve QM's plummeting career prospects Rosie Reynolds A new Graduate Attributes scheme set up by the QM Learning Institute aims to combat falling graduate employability by encouraging students to think about skills they can pick up throught their time at university.

Graduate employment rates have been affected by the recession, albeit not as seriously as non-graduate rates. In response to this, the QM Careers team, Employability & Skills team and QM Students’ Union are working together with Queen Mary senior management to build new support for students and graduates. This includes the Graduate Attributes initiative, as well as mentoring schemes and employer events. Emily Huns, Head of Careers, said “Teams across the college are working really, really hard to help our students and graduates compete for the jobs they want. The earlier students engage with this support and the opportunities being generated, the more employable they will be on graduating.”

The scheme encourages students to utilise the teaching, extra-curricular and co-curricular activities offered in order to make them attractive to employers. The list of 32 attributes is comprised of the “behaviours, values, skills and knowledge that all our students can develop during their time at QM,” said Caroline Walker, Employability Development Adviser. “The attributes reflect the distinctive qualities of our graduates.”

Postcards were given out at the latest Freshers’ Fair which tell students which extra-curricualr activities can help them develop certain attributes. “We want to create a strong platform for students to make the most of their time at university” continued Walker.

The college also aims to offer more placement and part-time work support than ever before, as well as a project which aims to increase the number of part-time job roles the college itself is able to offer to students.

Graduates who compete best demonstrate a high level of initiative and skills, and the Graduate Attributes scheme aims to help students achieve this.

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QMESSENGER MONDAY SEPTEMBER 26 2011

Comment How severely should the London rioters be punished?

Only Take Credit Where It's Due The announcement in QMessenger that the average marks given to departments in questions 1 to 21 of the NSS are around 10 percent lower than the mark given for questions 22 may seem nit-picky to a casual observer, but I firmly believe it’s an important one.

Lots of different groups and individuals work hard to make Queen Mary the great institution it is, but, as in all things, there is room for improvement.

By departments only publicising the answers given to question 22, they are falsely inflating their reputations by riding on the back of other areas of QM - be it the Students’ Union, the Careers Service, Disability Support, or any other department that has had a positive impact on a student’s time at university.

The NSS is meant to let students know how a department performs in areas such as teaching, assessment and feedback, but if departments are able to gloss over weaknesses in these areas by piggy-backing on the popularity of sports clubs or societies they there is much less momentum for improvement and that’s no good for anyone.

No Longer Just An Excuse We could write a whole leader on the fact that QM utilises animal testing, but we’ll save that for a rainy day. We should be proud that the ground-breaking QMUL researchers have proven the existence of ‘Man Flu’. They have attributed this to the fact that the female immune system is more effective than those of males. We are yet to discover whether these findings will translate into sympathetic feelings towards the male sex, or whether it will exacerbate their whingeing during times of sickness. The report is also good news for the females, who now have further scientific evidence in support of their biological superiority, in case things like giving birth wasn’t enough evidence. Now that this issue has been settled, we’re left wondering what’s next in the great world of QM research?

Kieran Dunn The riots across London and England came as a shock to lawabiding citizens everywhere.

People who had worked hard to create inclusive and nurturing communities watched their televisions in horror as their toil went up in smoke. In the face of such violence, even The Guardian’s comment boards were full of vitriol towards the unruly masses; drastic measures such as water cannons, cavalry and rubber bullets were considered from both sides of the political divide. But in typical sandal wearing fashion, the cry of compassion and understanding soon became the backdrop of the debate. These rioters were not simply stealing and smashing, they said, but protesting against the terrible Tory cuts. The cynical stealing of the “yoofs’” future was causing a generation for which violence and destruction is the only means of expression.

Balderdash and piffle! These riots were indicative of a broken country, a society broken by 13 years of a mollycoddling Labour government. One in which self-determination and ambition have been subjugated to state handouts and selfishness.

The rioters who broke into JD Sports were not stealing ‘box fresh’ trainers because they had no shoes on their feet but because they felt entitled to take what they wanted. Conditioned by years of instant gratification, of ‘get it now’ advertising, traditional British values of community and hard work have fallen by the wayside.

The left would have you believe that the best way to com-

bat this menace of unashamed, undeserved entitlement is to throw more money at it. Open more youth centres with pool tables and video games. Transform local areas of green pasture into concrete skate parks, all the while spending ever more on counselling and touchy feely quangos. Yet such a softhanded approach does nothing more than encourage yet more entitlement, more greed - and thus, treats the symptom while neglecting the cause.

What these kids need is a short sharp shock to the system. A reminder that the rules DO apply to them, that life is not all hugs and kisses. For a lot of these kids it will be the first time they will have seen the inside of a police cell. This can have a huge effect on a young lad and despite the softening of prisons under Labour, denying them the liberty they stole from others is the only fair punishment.

However, we Tories do understand that part of the problem is that young people sometimes feel as if they are no longer part of society. Prison is the state’s way to demonstrate that freedom comes with conditions.

To that end, part of the compassionate Conservative policy known as the “big society” is about letting young people see and understand the levers of power. Through local charities, churches and community groups, power can be devolved to a very local level, enabling those who feel left behind to become part of functioning society. In the end, it’s not about ‘hugging hoodies’ rather than bringing them close enough to see their face.

Wanda Canton At a time when anger is raw across the country, Cameron’s motive must be questioned.

Does he seek to merely patronise communities by stemming benefits for the impoverished, fuelling class divisions and anger?

Does he recognise the danger of further revolts by condemning the working classes while conveniently saving pennies?

The Tories creep ever closer to revealing themselves as a sea of Thatcherites. The response is uncanny in its similarity to her policy of a ‘short, sharp, shock’ treatment: enforcing severe punishment immediately. This tended to harden ‘criminals’ in prisons, proving an acceleration of reoffence.

With 51.2% of rioters aged between 18-24, the riots are unsurprising considering the attacks on students, the creativity of the young and unemployed, and their relationship with the police. There is a particularly understandable anger among young, black men – who are 26 times more likely to be stopped and searched in the UK than white people. When Mark Duggan was shot by police, I was more surprised that we hadn’t already seen riots considering the Met’s reputation. A broken window is replaceable, a family member is not.

Locking someone in a cage for stealing £20 worth of trainers, or daring to challenge the authorities that beat, cheat and degrade them is proposterous.

How can the Government shirk it’s responsibilities and continue to insist that the Bullingdon Club smashing up local restaurants

was merely a laugh? The finger should be pointed at the hypocrites who ‘represent’ us.

Before discussing the punishment of rioters, we should speak honestly about the role of politics and prioritise questioning he who pulled the trigger, not he who reacted to the bullet.

Manyarequicktodistancerioters from any political motivation, stemming from a patronising, classist belief that anybody from a council estate can’t be politically conscious. But even without an anti-establishment sentiment, the actions that have been dubbed by others as ‘mindless thieving’ itself is an indication of where we find ourselves. Desperate consumerism is everywhere in society. We are consistently told that money is our highest ambition – the difference being most MPs can buy a laptop on a champagne-induced impulse.

The overblown reaction to the riots is a worrying err towards a police state. People are being imprisoned for speaking out against a system seeking to oppress. How long until political opinion is deemed criminal?

Blaming everything on ‘unruly anarchists’ is ignorant. Punishing those who responded to the Government’s behaviour will achieve nothing.

We now step closer to a liberated society where workers rebel against shops that exploit them, steal the overpriced gadgets from a boss who underpays them, makes them jobless, restless, helpless.

Whilst it’s uncomfortable to know that families have suffered homelessness and unemployment as a result of these riots, this is the unfortunate price of political awakening.

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8

QMESSENGER MONDAY SEPTEMBER 26 2011

Comment

The bullying criminality of the self-important unions must end

Thousands turned out in protest against austerity on June 30: Do the minority have the right to strike if it disrupts the majority? Image by Matthew TK Taylor.

want to get “ Iftoyou work on time you must bow to these unelected commissars.

“

The Trades Union Congress held its annual conference recently, to almost universal indifference from the general public, the political classes, and the media. Filled with a sense of their own self-importance, they called for general strikes and civil disobedience known to the rest of us as criminality.

Their bullying tactics and attempts to threaten the elected government of the country, however, should not have been met with the indifference that it was.

Trade unions still occupy a powerful position, from which they seek to force the country to become a socialist idyll.

Setting aside that the Berlin Wall has collapsed, and the ideals of socialism have been proven wrong, the problem with this approach is that they do not partake in the proper democratic process, but attempt to shape the world by holding a gun to the head of every hard working person in this country.

If you want to get to work on time, have your children educated, or have your rubbish collected then you must bow and scrape to these unelected, and unelectable, commissars. They will bully and bluster their way through negotiations and when their outrageous

demands are not met they have only one response: they strike.

One particularly striking comment from the conference was that some trade unionists were willing to “go to prison” because of their attempts to stop government policy. Irrespective of whether one agrees with their aims, surely we can all agree that when acts of premeditated criminality are considered, these are the actions of a fundamentally destructive part of society?

In the past these overweening institutions actually represented the interests of the workers.

However as we moved into the new economy the trade unions

lost members. Now they represent the most entrenched interests of the public sector. They resist change not because of genuine policy concerns but out of an ideological myopia and a desperate desire to return to the days when they were relevant.

The strikes predicted for this winter will demonstrate how dependent on public sector workers these unions are. Thousands of health and safety inspectors and

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equality impact assessors will join their marches but I can safely predict that there won’t be many hairdressers or shopkeepers.

These strikes are not even supported by the majority of their members, there is no requirement for these strikes to be supported by the majority of members and in many cases where strikes go ahead more than half the members can’t be bothered to vote!

The power of the unions has protected the jobs of thousands of incompetent public sector workers. While in the private sector failure is met with removal, in the public sector failure can be met with promotion. The General Teaching Council estimates there are 17,000 incompetent teachers and yet only 18 have been sacked in the last 40 years. This is simply because the unions will cause too much trouble to make it worth the while of schools to sack the incompetent. The cost to children’s education is incalculable.

The bitterest pill to swallow when it comes to the unions and their commitment to socialism is that their hypocrisy knows no bounds. Many of the leaders of these unions demonstrate their commitment to working class values by taking home six figure salaries that would be more in line with a stockbroker’s salary than a socialist’s. Particu-

need to draft the army to man fire engines.

Finally, we must stop funding these organisations out of taxpayer funds. There are countless examples of nurses, teachers and lecturers undertaking union activities when they should be doing their jobs. They do this at a cost to those they should be serving both through the time they have wasted and the taxpayers’ money they have misused.

In addition to this blatant waste of money, however, there are things such as the union modernisation fund. This is government money, which is intended to be spent on union ‘efficiency’, the government to its knees as and innovative projects. Howevthe dead went unburied and er, it is simply a means of funnelthe country shut down. This led ling taxpayers’ money from the to the biggest backlash against Treasury to the unions and then unions ever and the election of back to the Labour Party, who enthe Thatcher government, the joy significant donations from the only post-war government to unions. This year nearly 90% of stand up to the insane demands their donations have come from the unions. There are no prizes of the unions.

We must once again stand up for guessing who introduced this to the juvenile tactics and prehis- corrupt fund.

Outdated, deluded and yet vasttoric attitudes of the union comrades. It is time to limit their right ly powerful, these impediments to strike so that they require the to progress should be consigned support of the majority of the to the dustbin of history where members before they disrupt the we long ago hurled their outdatlives of thousands. We must work ed Marxist creed. While Britain to ensure those sectors that are struggles to grow its economy depended upon for essential ser- and reform its public services, the vices have no strike agreements task will always be made harder in place so that we never again by these slaves to socialism. larly offensive is Bob Crow who, while taking home £123,833, still lives in a council house. While pretending to care about the fate of the unfortunate in society he is actively preventing them from finding somewhere to live. It is difficult to find a reason behind this that isn’t sheer malice.

The unions have tried these tactics before; in 1978 they brought

is time to limit “ Ittheir right to

strike before they disrupt the lives of thousands.

“

Jon Boulton

9

QMESSENGER MONDAY SEPTEMBER 26 2011

Comment Lee Nelson's Well Good Show cheerfully pushes the stereotypes Many people spend their summer holidays travelling the world and working to pay their way for September. Being pale and unemployable meant I spent my summer making sandwiches and watching TV. It was in this sorry state that I discovered Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show.

Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show starts the programme with the central character, Lee Nelson, played by Simon Brodkin, leaving his son at his council flat and walking through an estate. The programme then goes on to him in a studio with a live audience.

The whole show pretty much depends on audience reactions (in one episode Nelson gets a member of the audience to act in a pretend jury at the “Old Bailee”); Nelson repeatedly shouting “qualitee” and “legend”, using tired stereotypes of people living in council estates. Lee Nelson is simply portrayed as the thick 2 dimensional ‘chav’ that we’ve seen before in characters like Vicky Pollard. Admittedly, Nelson is more likable than Pollard. He didn’t trade his baby for a Westlife CD, but he speaks with the same broken English, dresses the same and acts in the same thick way. It speaks for itself when one

reviewer stated “chavs get their best PR in years with Lee Nelson as the latest cultural ambassador”.

Really? Nelson thinks nothing of sleeping with his step-sister; is so slow he thinks Admiral Nelson invented car insurance. What this reviewer means when he says ‘chav’ is ‘working class’ - the

“

The words ‘chav’ and ‘working class’ have become synonymous.

“

Madeleine Connor

two terms seem to have become synonymous. Perhaps compared to other characters, Nelson is the

best PR there has been in years.

It could be argued that I took the programme too seriously, that people from all backgrounds could enjoy the programme, that the character isn’t saying or doing anything too drastic or distasteful, and that nothing said on Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show hasn’t been said before - but that’s my point. The perpetual stereotyping of working class people is all too common. It seems to be something everyone is immune to. I can’t think of even one positive role depiction of the working classes, someone actually representing the average council estate dweller. It goes without

saying that most people who live on a council estate are not thick like Lee Nelson. They aren’t promiscuous and lazy like Pollard.

Simon Brodkin, the actor behind Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show, used to be a medical doctor before he found his calling to comedy. David Walliams and Matt Lucas both went to independent schools before studying at Bristol University. With tuition fees rising to some of the highest in the world, and the gap between the rich and poor widening - is it fair for these privileged comedians to laugh at and exploit a group of people who are already so laughed at and exploited by society?

Dale Farm: Do travellers Latest Facebook updates see the long really have a claim to it? awaited death of a stagnant Twitter A last minute injunction has prevented the travellers at Dale Farm from being evicted till Friday. Naturally they are excited at the prospect of their homes being saved. I hate to use the word irony in case I use it wrongly but isn’t this situation ironic? They have used the legal system to protect their homes, but that very same legal system is saying that half of the site is illegal. The travellers happily use the courts to protect themselves but if the decision remains the same, they will not be pleased.

Every resident of the United Kingdom must apply for planning permission. Why is this community different?

They purchased the land 10 years ago and created a community, why not follow the legal route to obtain more?

Yet I understand their fear.

I would hate to have my home ripped from me and would use any argument or reason to keep it. Some of the travellers suffer from cancer and I am genuinely sorry for that. Yet are they using the NHS for their treatment? Why can they choose to claim free national health care and not follow the laws of the council. This is a very harsh statement but I use it as a point of comparison. A democratic society does not let you pick and choose which laws you follow. They always aim to be fair and you remain innocent until proven guilty

(hence the injunction).

This legal challenge has stretched over 10 years with council taking all legal action available to them. This alone must have created a massive bill for the taxpayer.

It would be cheaper to allow the community to remain but that sets a dangerous precedent. Build on any land you like without the council’s permission, refuse to change it and live happily ever after.

on any land “Build you like without

the council’s permission, refuse to change it and live happily ever after. This is not a statement that the council would like to make.

“

Chris Smith

This is not a statement that the council would like to make.

However the biggest thing that gets me when the camp is shown on TV, is that the demonstrators claim that the council are picking on travellers. This is not a racial crusade against travellers.

This is the council doing its job and upholding planning permission laws. Any other racial or social group found to be doing the same, would face the same fate.

Matthew TK Taylor It’s the sign of our era that Silicon Valley startups can rise to global ubiqity in a matter of years and fall even faster. We all remember the dominating presence of the oncevalued $12b MySpace before, in a sudden surge of presence, Facebook became the place to be. It was a clean, adult interface and initial exclusivity that brought us there. There may not have been as many features as MySpace, yet we jumped into the future. It is so easy for a service to die.

Now think about the current situation: we’ve two major competing networks on separate fronts, Facebook and Twitter. Both have unique qualities that make them the controlling powers in our new breed of open, user-curated media. Twitter has carved a highly-specific niche of 140-character, bitesize pieces of real-time information, whilst Facebook has, well, everything else: photos, apps, ‘like’, you-name-it, the Zuckerberg monopoly has it. Twitter’s consistent victory has been in these SMS-sized snippets.

Which is exactly why it can’t last. Twitter isn’t innovative, it is a platform to be built upon, much like Facebook, but without any of the advantages the revenue-sharing Facebook platform allows. Twitter seems to allow developers to make money through third-party services whilst it struggles to advertise itself. Facebook’s revenue

The Age of Empires: Is the rule of the tweet giving way to a resurgent Facebook? Image by Sam Creighton. is growing over 100% a year, nership with Photobucket could with $2b made in 2010, while have seen third-party services Twitter found just $250m this such as twitpic have to instantyear. Twitter has seen a series ly close, had they made pictureof high-profile developers leav- upload immediately part of the ing in the past six months alone, application programming interand multiple CEO changes face (API), and critically, built whilst co-founder and product it into the metadata surroundengineer Jack Dorsey has been ing tweets. But their failure to dipping in and out whilst he do so is highly questionable, it funds his own venture, Square. is as if they do not understand It seems to be recently that their own product, their own Twitter has lost any sense of di- value. rection they may have had. The Facebook’s new smart-lists pressure is growing for them feature, multiple subscription to find monetary value in the options, and new found love of service, but in sticking to their ‘public’ makes it look as if it’s SMS roots, they are being left moments from taking over. Afbehind in the crowd. The recent ter all, they’ve only one thing photo-service addition in partleft to conquer.

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10

QMESSENGER MONDAY SEPTEMBER 26 2011

Comment

What a fantastic first week it's been! I can't believe how great the atmosphere on campus is at the moment!

Sophie Richardson, President

Wow guys, what a fantastic first week it’s been! I can’t believe how great the atmosphere on campus is at the moment!

I hope you are all starting to settle in a bit now. Most of you will hopefully have met me, or one of your VicePresidents, at your School’s induction talk last week and for those of you who are re-

search students we will see you in a couple of weeks at your induction. I want to take this opportunity to remind you all again about the value of extra-curricular activities; I really do feel I got just as much out of the extra-curricular activities that I took part in at the Union as I did out of the academic side of university life. The

activities I got involved in helped speed up the settling in process for me massively, I soon felt like I really belonged here and that I was a part of the QM community.

So my number one freshers tip is to come to the Blomeley Centre or the Association building and sign up for something!

In the meantime you can

keep up to date with everything I’m doing by following me on Twitter, @PresidentQMSU or on Facebook ‘Qmsu Exec’.

T’rah for now, Sophie :)

The GEPs are out in force too, and I quote an anonymous source, "show the freshers how it's done" George Ryan, VP Association

Wow! Freshers’ has been hectic and it’s not been easy balancing meeting all the new faces around the Association and making sure everything I talked about in my last column comes off without a hitch. So far, so good though! So, third, fourth and fifth years have been back for a few weeks now and are settling comfortably in to a new term. Saturday

saw the arrival of the freshers and, despite heavy rain, they flocked in their hundreds down to the GriffInn and the night was a huge success. The GEPs were also out in force too, and I quote an anonymous source “show the freshers how it’s done”. Freshers’ fortnight continues this evening with ‘A Question of Sport’ in the Shield.

To find out what your Sabbatical Officers are doing, and to get in contact with them, go to www.qmsu.org

Get Active has taken off and I can see a new generation of sports leaders coming out of the Clubs ...

Dom Bell, VP Student Activities

Week 1 over and I hope everyone made the best of it because there’s nothing quite like it. If you’re feeling burnt out already, don’t worry, that’s about right. I certainly am already feeling the strain of getting in early, working till late, and then going out to meet as many new people as possible, as well as reunite with

old faces. As with all aspects of life, some things never change. This is my 5th year now at Queen Mary and each year was different. As a Fresher it was about getting drunk, in my second year it was gyming it and rowing, in my 3rd year I led the mighty Boat Club, and now I’m representing you guys in the Union for a second

year. Whatever it was, I was getting up tired and getting on with the day regardless.

That’s just the way when you’re a student.

From what I saw of Freshers’ Fair and talking to a few of you in Drapers or the Griffinn, everyone else was as seriously busy. It’s built up my confidence that this year will be a great year for

QMSU. In my 2nd year as VPSA I think that a lot of change and improvement is imminent. For the past year, QMSU have been talking about ‘developing’ Sport and now it seems to be happening. Get Active has completely taken off and I can see a new generation of sports leaders coming out of the Clubs…

I'm really excited about the year ahead - but I probably shouldn't be too confident about predicting how it will go Oscar Williamson, VP Education & Welfare

I thought I was on top of things. I’ve spent the past few months getting my head around the workings of the University and the Union, and planning campaigns and projects for the year ahead. I’ve met a lot of enthusiastic people, and learnt about loads of great projects like Get Active, the London Mayoral campaign

and our work for the 2012 Olympics. The year ahead was going to be plain sailing.

I’m writing this at the end of the second day of Freshers, and I’m ready to revise my expectations. So far I’ve spoken at a couple of welcome sessions for international students, and I have seven similar sessions later in the week.

Three students have been to see me about welfare issues, and three more about academic appeals. Freshers Fair looms large, and we’re back in on Saturday to run the Students’ Union stall in Library Square.

Parts of being VP Education & Welfare are exactly as I was expecting, and others are to-

tally different. Some of my day to day work is booked in advance, but the course of my day is really determined by the needs of the students who come through the door of Blomelely Centre. As I said in my last column, I’m really excited about the year ahead – but I probably shouldn’t be too confident in predicting how it’ll go.

Is what is best for the students always what is best for the Union? I would answer yes, but then maybe I'm naive Sam Creighton, VP Communications

Being a Sabbatical Officer means wearing lots of different hats - trustee, student, representative - all very important, all very time consuming and all, often, very contradictory.

This is a juggling feat that all my colleagues have to manage.

However, being Vice-President Communications means that I have another cap to balance on top of this leaning

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tower of headgear: Journalist.

I’m the Sabb that aims to keep all the other Sabbs in check.

My last column positioned the student media as the watchdog of the campus and, well, to extend the metaphor, I’m the guy holding the dog’s leash. Be it the College or my colleagues, I try and keep a wary eye open to ensure that you are always getting the best deal (and I

know my editors have the same eye trained on me). This can lead to huge contradictions.

Doing what I think is best for the students is not always condusive with what I’m told is ‘best’ for the Union in the long term. To be fair, all of my fellow Sabbatical Officers have been supportive of my freedom in times when these sort of conflicts have bubbled to

the surface. The problem is not one of individuals, it’s an institutional one, it centres around the question: Is what is best for the students always what is best for the Union? I would answer yes, but maybe then I’m naive. Even writing this column I’m not entirely sure which role I’m fulfilling, Sabb or editor? Careful, the tower of hats is starting to wobble...

QMESSENGER MONDAY SEPTEMBER 26 2011

12

Satire All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Please don’t mistake anything on this page for fact.

License Revoked

Calvin Harris

Aaron Barber

Ben Richardson

The TV licence collection agency is to save over forty thousand pounds a year by sacking office worker and research assistant Kevin Bates. Although you may not be familiar with Kevin you will certainly be familiar with his work. Each week Kevin redesigns the threatening letter that you receive asking you to pay your TV Licence. We asked Kevin about his job.

“My main task consists of rewording many of the passive aggressive phrases used in licensing letters and re-sizing the letters to make you think we’re closer to finding your un-licensed TV when in fact we really don’t have a clue. The rest of my time is spent developing and testing more aggressive fonts, sadly the agency has cut our development budget in recent years down to about eight million pounds so it may be sometime before we get any serious results.”

When asked about being sacked Kevin only had this to say “They will never ever find you!

Never ever pay!”

Queen Mary Students’ Union events staff have secured a booking with chart-topping DJ Calvin Harris. Having spent the summer season in Ibiza playing to crowds of up to 15,000, Harris is arguably the biggest booking that Drapers Bar has ever seen.

Union sources have said, “We’re very excited to host this event and have decided, due to the widespread Harris’ DJ set to bring record crowds. Image by Keeren Flora.

Quote of the week “If you didn’t learn it at Oxbridge you don’t deserve to learn it now!”

Teresa May speaking about possible cuts to BBC4 interest, to release a total of 20 pre-book tickets. We feel that this way, we can ensure massive queues on the door, lots of people feeling annoyed at the Union and generally one or two ruined nights.

We’re spending a fortune on booking Calvin and have done everything in our power to make Drapers as empty as possible on the night.”

Card game of the week: Have you got it yet?

Number of players: 2 or more This card game is perfect for people who can never remember any card games or enjoy frustrating gullible people. The only rule is that you always win. The game starts when you suggest a card game called “Have you got it yet”, to which they reply “no”

(unless they bothered reading this). You then suggest the best way to teach them is by example and deal the cards in any way you like. An example may go like this: • You draw a ten of clubs, they draw a four of hearts: At which point you win because ten is higher than four.

• You draw a seven of hearts, they draw a ten of diamonds:

At which point you win because the seven of hearts always wins in this game.

• You draw a king of hearts, they draw an Ace of spades: At which point you win because Aces are low in this game.

This continues until they say something along the lines of “this isn’t a real card game!” and bang their fists on the table. At which point they “have

got it” and you note down the time it took for them to “get it”. The game becomes progressively harder as it goes on and can result in violence, depending how angry they get.

Send your winning score and any interesting incidents from your games to our QMessenger email address. ….You could win an all expenses paid trip to Paris.

Second year student, Lawrence Jones, bought a jar of Ken Hom’s Black Bean Sauce and was so upset he decided to write an open letter.

Dear Ken Hom, I saw your shiny head on the front of a jar of your black bean sauce and thought this would be delicious. What a fucking mistake this was. I had had a thoroughly enjoyable and fulfilling day helping freshers over the weekend and had built

screwed “You me over big time here, Ken.

“

Fancy yourself as a satirist or cartoonist? Join our team. Email us!

satire@qmessenger.co.uk

up quite an appetite. I had a variety of possible options for my dinner however your head once again convinced me I should try your sauce. I read your recipe on the back which informed me that I needed onions, peppers and chicken so I made the special effort to go to Sainsbury’s and spent my hard-

earned student loan getting the ingredients. From this point onwards it went downhill. I can’t remember exactly what I said when I opened the jar but that’s irrelevant as it probably couldn’t be printed here anyway.

I don’t proclaim to be the best chef around but even Midas couldn’t turn this shit into gold.

It was meant to be my dinner for a few days but that literally went out the window. You screwed me over big time here, Ken. Fuck you!

Yours sincerely, Lawrence Jones Have you been pissed off recently by a celebrity chef? Has Gordon Ramsay kicked your nan in the shins? Write your open letter and send it to the email address below.

QMESSENGER MONDAY SEPTEMBER 26 2011

13

Games Sudoku

Sweaty Brow of the Week

Image by McConnell Center This international legal big wig is in hot water this week for being too quick to judgement. Twitter isn’t happy, but who is he?

Bridges Rules: Connect the islands to form a network so that you can reach any island from any other island. The number on each island indicates the number of outgoing bridges. You may only connect islands horizontally or vertically, and you may use one or two bridges to connect islands, but no more than two.

NEEDS YOU!

Open  Trials: Saturday  24th September Wednesday  28th September Saturday  1st October Meet  outside  Drapers  at  10:30

Last week’s answers: The answer to the quiz was, of course, Dixie Chicken.

The sweaty brow belonged to Ed Balls, Shadow Chancellor

Attend  as  many  trials  as  possible

Please  bring  boots,  shin  pads  and  £5  to  cover  the  coach  travel  provided.

Facebook:  Queen  Mary  Football  Club, Queen  Mary  Football  Club  Trials  2011-­�2012 www.clubwebsite.co.uk/queenmaryfc games@qmessenger.co.uk

14

QMESSENGER MONDAY SEPTEMBER 26 2011

Societies

Student Council ushers in a new era of growth for clubs and societies

Queen Mary Students’ Union has adopted a new set of regualtions that allows small but active student groups to grow. Image by Keeren Flora.

Ozzy Amir New clubs, societies and student groups regulations were unanimously passed by Student Council in a bid to increase engagement and make it easier for emerging student activity groups to set up.

Proposed by Vice President of Student Activities Dominic Bell, the changes will mean the end of the minimum member rule which required new

clubs and societies to have at least 20 members in order to receive union funding.

The changes will also allow for the creation of new ‘students groups’ for volunteering, campaigning and support activities.

“It’s been a great first council meeting,” said Bell, “We can now start rewarding activity, not numbers.” Societies Officer Wilson Wong agreed, stating the new regulations

“will tailor to particular societies really well”.

Despite the unanimous vote in favour, there was some opposition when the proposals were presented to council for the first time a week earlier. Wilson Wong initially spoke out against the proposed changes, arguing that Union funding for clubs and societies should be focused on groups with the biggest impact on Union members and

the twenty member rule ensured this.

However LGBT Representative Donald McKinnon argued in favour of the changes stating some societies, such as the LGBT society, needed to exist whatever the level of activity to support students which no doubt dispelled any erstwhile doubts council had.

With the new regulations in place, students can look forward to seeing a greater variety of niche societies spring up this year.

Society in spotlight: The heady exploits of romantics Thiago Nunes-Correa The Queen Mary Poetry Society was last year voted ‘Best QM Society’ in the most comprehensive survey into my opinion on the subject ever conducted by myself for the purpose of a student article. And this year it just got better.

Last year’s iteration organised various regular outings to poetry and spoken word events, open mic nights, the theatre, etcetera – always with a focus on the work on show. This year’s revisions have led to a more holistic approach which seeks to encompass poetic culture in its entirety – I invite the reader,

at this point, to consider the heady exploits of many of the romantics as an example, or, that of their contemporaries: hip-hop artists.

The attention being paid to rap culture this year, in fact, illustrates this society’s philosophy to be ever improving by constantly adapting to the demands and suggestions of its members. This is a direct response to the fact that at the last end of year review, several members suggested closer attention be paid to this modern exponent of poetic culture, with long-term member Josephine O’Hare, in particular, championing the cause,

societies@qmessenger.co.uk

delivering a rousing speech to the rest of the members on the cultural impact of Public Enemy’s seminal album Fear of a Black Planet.

Beyond the expected, literary exploits of the society, last year also saw a hugely successful campaign for the P.S.F.C., (the Poetry Society Football Club), in the intersociety 5-a-side football league. Where, despite obvious bias on the part of the organisers, lack of fitness on the part of our regulars, and lack of commitment on the part of squad players, we had, arguably, the most successful campaign of any team. This is dependent, of course, on one’s

idea of what constitutes success, but, by our own measures, we can confidently support the aforementioned conclusion.

Though, as stated, such conclusion remains arguable.

So, considering that this is at once a cultural and a sports society – which has now grown to encompass lifestyle and, (as is evidenced by the above contemplation on the ever arguable nature of conclusions), philosophy too. We come, quite ironically, to an inarguable conclusion: that the Queen Mary Poetry Society is the best society in QM, though it could be better still… if it included you.

Provide–ing a challenge Hollie Carter With Freshers’ Fair now a distant memory in the life of a busy first year, I’d like to take this opportunity to draw your attention to a group of important societies that often get overlooked in the hectic first few weeks of university – Queen Mary’s fundraising and volunteering societies.

Queen Mary has a strong charitable network and societies such as READ International and Provide offer an excellent way of giving a little something back to the community in which we spend our three plus years as students.

You will have no doubt have signed up to Provide, even if it was just to receive a free mug – all of my housemates have judging by how many new additions we have to the mug cupboard! Provide offers the opportunity to get involved in a range of great events from stewarding at the London marathon, to cooking at the local homeless shelters. There is huge range to suit everyone’s interests and busy timetables.

READ International is another great charitable society which is infamous for its fundraising events like JAILBREAK and that notorious Charity Date Auction where we got to see more than was necessary of some members of our community! But, despite the collection of mugs I have in the kitchen, I’m ashamed to say that I have never been involved in the charity side of any of the fundraising or volunteering societies. Yes, I did attend the Charity Date Auction and sponsored friends in their JAILBREAK attempts, but I never got involved. I did at one point come close to volunteering at Whitechapel Mission homeless shelter, but then 6am seemed too early... So this year I’d like to challenge all students of Queen Mary, myself included, to get involved in at least one of the many amazing events that our charitable societies put on. Not only do we get to feel like we’ve made a positive contribution to the local community but we also get to drink our tea guiltlessly from those well earned mugs!

15

QMESSENGER MONDAY SEPTEMBER 26 2011

Sport Sport in spotlight: En garde...ready...and...fence...

Oli Griffin

It was a few days ago that a desperate friend and QMessenger sports editor sent me a text requesting an article on fencing that had to be 450 words and in by Wednesday lunchtime. At the time of writing, it is Wednesday morning and so far only 51 words have materialised. Better get cracking then.

Fencing is a sport that originated in sword fighting throughout medieval Europe.

Rich nobles and aristocrats would fence with each other as a way of training themselves for the real deal, fights to the death in duels and battles. Modern fencing is a lot less deadly than its historical roots, although the three different disciplines all relate to their original purposes. The most popular sword in fencing is undoubtedly the foil. A foil is light blade with a small point that is used to score points by stabbing your opponent (not too hard) in the torso.

Foil has come from the training

attributed to soldiers, who were taught to make clean thrusts to the stomach and chest to quickly finish off an enemy.

Similar to the foil is the épée. Épée is another thrusting weapon, but unlike the foil it has a larger guard and longer blade.

This weapon originates from duelling, where the aim was not to kill but to draw the first blood. For this reason, the target area for épée is the whole body, from head to foot. Unlike in foil it is possible for both players to score points together, creating a different and interesting dynamic.

Lastly, there is sabre. Sabre originates from cavalry weapons and unlike its foil and epee counterparts, is a cutting weapon (think Pirates of the Caribbean). The area for points scoring in sabre is anywhere from the waist up. The reason for this is that in terms of fighting, killing the man on the horse opposite was a must but horses were so incredibly valuable that it would be better to keep them

The fencing squad, one of the most successful sport teams at QM, holding one of their many trophies. alive – aiming for above the In the new year, many of thos or Aramis, perhaps you waist limited the chances of hit- us attend the annual Europeshould consider fencing as an ting the opposing cavalry man’s an fencing competition held in outlet for your duelling desires. mount.

Paris. Do not fear; all abilities At the QMBL fencing club (conIn terms of kit, how much compete, with a glitzy ball to veniently located on campus I sexier can you look? Dressed cap off a weekend of sweaty du- might add) you can come and in all white, tensing and workelling. give fencing a try. Beginners are ing both the thighs and lower So, if you are you one of those always welcome and it would body. A crucial part of the anat- people that frequently day be great to see you at the club – omy, one that can only become dreams about being one of eibesides, we’re cooler than our better. ther D’Artagnan, Athos, Porcousins at Kendo.

The prediction game: 2011/2012 Sean Mahoney Premier League As a Chelsea fan it pains me to say this, but I think Man City will be triumphant come May. They have two quality players in every position and a potential Tevez-Aguero partnership is a terrifying prospect. Mancini needs to be more adventurous, however, and drop Gareth Barry. I think Manchester United lack depth in midfield. Sneijder is not the answer. They need a deeper playmaker, somebody like Modric as Rooney plays best in that no. 10 role. They can’t simply rely on young Tom Cleverley to deliver every week.

Chelsea also lack that spark in midfield, but have the tightest defence in the league, and have power and quality all over the park. Nevertheless, I can see City just shading it. Arsenal, on the other hand, will just be happy to reach the 40 point mark and avoid relegation.

Championship The Championship is always

a tough league to call.

West Ham have to be clear favourites to bounce straight back up. I think they will gain promotion with Leicester and Nottingham Forest.

West Ham have brought in Premier League experience and Leicester have shopped well too. I think they can win the play-offs. Reading won’t be the same side without Shane Long. Forest have been knocking on the door for a few seasons now and I think this will be their season to return to the top flight. I think Cardiff will just miss out, but maybe Leeds could sneak it.

La Liga I can’t look beyond Barcelona.

They’re the best team in La Liga and the best side in the world. They will be even stronger this season, having brought in Cesc Fabregas and Alexis Sanchez. Real Madrid have also brought in some top players in Coentrao and Raphael Varane. They will be stronger this season but I can’t see them matching Barcelona over the course of the year.

Champions League Bayern Munich have to be worth an outside bet this season with the final at the Allianz. Ribery and Robben on each wing, Neuer in goal, Muller and Gomez upfront with Kroos and Schweinsteiger in midfield; they will be a tough test for any side. However, I think they will be beaten in the final by Jose Mourinho’s Real Madrid. Who else could land number 10?! I think they will do it beating Barcelona on the way. I expect Chelsea and Manchester United to get to the semis. It will be tough for Man City on their first attempt and I don’t think they will get past the quarter finals. Arsenal will be knocked out in the last 16 by someone like CSKA, if they manage to get through the group stage that is.

Keep following Sean’s predictions both in QMessenger and online, and see how they match yours.

Want to express your own opinion? Get in touch and we’ll try our best to get your contributions heard.

sport@qmessenger.co.uk

16

QMESSENGER MONDAY SEPTEMBER 26 2011

Sport

BUCS controversy: the scrum against the dissolution of medical school's role in sports competitions Andrew Smith The next few months will see BUCS (British Universities and Colleges Sport) enter a consultation period over plans to inhibit medical schools entering leagues as separate entities to their partner universities. In other words, Barts and The London clubs – although not having to necessarily merge with QM clubs – would have to rename themselves under the QM banner.

Although at first inspection this move may not seem to have any great impact; in all likelihood it would actually cause a major disruption and potential dissolution of the QM/BL divide.

What would likely cause the most controversy and irritation would be the reordering of team ranks that would inevitably have to ensue. In accordance with BUCS regulations and general common sense, a team of lower rank (i.e. the 4ths) could not be in a higher league than the 3rds. Therefore, some Queen Mary 1st teams would have to become 2nd

Would the Barts versus QM rugby match, the sporting highlight of the year, survive if BUCS has its way? Image by Timmy Karssiens teams and vice-versa. Using rugby as an example, because Barts and The London 1st XV compete in a higher league than QM 1st XV, if the BUCS motion was to go ahead, the current QM 1st XV would have to be re-

named QM 2nd XV and so on.

There is a lot in a name and in time, the blurring of the divide could lead to the loss of campus autonomy. As each generation graduated, the newbies may lose some of the passion and

pride in playing for their home institution and slowly start to trickle to whichever club was the best. This would be a crying shame and could lead to the loss of some of the oldest sports teams in the world.

A theoretical benefit of blending players from the east and west pole of Mile End Road is the advantage to the new QM/ BL hybrid 1st teams which would contain the best players from each campus. However, there is the potential detriment to leadership, performance and participation in the lower teams – not to mention the difficulties in logistics.

In terms of governance, it would go against the current QMSU constitution as well as QMSU’s strategic plan for the next few years, which maintains BL as autonomous. Mostly though, this whole idea would grate on the souls of many people from both institutions and would likely cause so much uproar, it would make the London riots look as tame as a nursery school playground.

A lot of speculation, granted, but with the vast history and traditions at stake, the pride and passion afforded to our clubs and the collective successes of both institutions, it is vital that we as the student body lobby and campaign to ensure that BUCS hears that their plan is not wanted.

Bravado for the fresh, brave new faces Shafi Musaddique Dispensing advice, especially at the beginning of a year, is always a clichéd option. As an incoming final year undergraduate at this fine institution, the cliché is the only choice. So I will forewarn you now - don’t get on the wrong side of your coach and society fellows, kids. Bravado is a curious cat that has punctured both front and back pages recently; take the England Rug-

sport@qmessenger.co.uk

by team dancing themselves drunk-silly celebrating into the night. Hordes of admiring women, fans, and frivolities exposing a culture of excess one that Oscar Wilde would gladly admire.

Bravado has all too nonchalantly streamed its way into the footballing world too. The pioneer of shiny teeth and excess tan, Christiano Ronaldo, lamented his poor fortune at the world’s hatred of him. The Portuguese described him-

self as “rich, handsome and a great player”, which was the cause of many envious glances. Poor soul.

Yet, despite the stick that comes with living the life, perhaps they are just consequences of rewards earned fair and square. As you scoff the free sweets from Freshers’ stalls, remember that come June, you’ll probably not stick a hand in Haribo anymore. If anything, the farmers’ market will become a regular friend,

with the popcorn of the Film Society accompanying any guilty pleasures.

Back onto the field of fame; Arsenal Football Club continue to occupy the status as new boys to grief-stricken-heartwrenching-football. Ivan Gazidis this week came out in staunch defence of the manager. Fans’ frustration grows apace in a sport that moves faster than iPad inventions.

On Tuesday, I was lucky enough to rub shoulders with

legends galore at the London Youth Games Hall of Fame; Linford Christie, Rachel Yankey, England women’s footballer, and Chemmy Alcott, GB Olympic ski star. The Olympic torch will be heading our way at the very end of its journey. Yet, both Queen Mary and Barts do not have any kind of Athletics club. If bravado and guilty pleasures were ever needed, someone call master extraodinaire of celebrations, Usain Bolt, pretty please.