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Tuition fees - what should

Easter Gifts: Add a bit of naughtiness to Good Friday

the government do?

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23rd March ‘10 • Issue 23 • FREE

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Editors Editor: Sam Cunningham editor@qmessenger.co.uk News: Sam Creighton news@qmessenger.co.uk Comment: Bradley Downing comment@qmessenger.co.uk Science & Environment: Richard Dodwell science@qmessenger.co.uk Craig Ferriman environment@qmessenger.co.uk Reviews: Helen Knight & Rebecca Wynter reviews@qmessenger.co.uk Film: Alex MacDonald film@qmessenger.co.uk

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Two Queen Mary students are disqualified from ULU elections Sam Cunningham Two Queen Mary students running in the recent University of London Union (ULU) elections have been disqualified for cheating – and were likely to have won had their votes counted.

Ghazi Afthab Rahman and Viktoria Szmolar, running for President and Vice-President respectively, were both informed that they had been disqualified from the election by the returning officer, Stephen Williams, who was in charge of the proceedings, half an hour before the results were announced.

The figures released on ULU’s website suggest that 921 votes were invalid or spoilt in the Presidential election and 957 votes were similarly disregarded for the Vice-Presidential election after the disqualification.

Though there are usually a small number of invalid votes during any election, these are particularly high as they include any votes for the disqualified candidates, and the large numbers imply that both candidates would more than likely have beaten their respective opponents, as the elected President Clare Solomon received 749 votes and elected Vice-President Ian Drummond 499.

Stephen Williams, who is also the Senior Chaplain for all the University of London Colleges, refused to reveal the exact reason for the disqualification of both candidates, instead responding: “There were a number of serious complaints made against the disqualified candidates and they were upheld.

“I’ve had confidential meetings, face-to-face, with the candidates and they have been sent the details of the appeals procedure if they wish to appeal the decision.”

An email response from the Elect2010 – the contact email address for questions regarding the elections – also corroborated this, stating: “Mr Rahman and Ms Szmolar were disqualified from their respective elections, after complaints were upheld regarding campaigning tactics employed on the QMUL campus.”

Both students claim that the actions they took were within the rules and regulations of the elections.

Szmolar said: “I was told half an hour before the results that I had been disqualified basically based on some regulations that don’t exist.

“Some people complained about me and the returning officer said he asked for some senior officers to inspect us – I don’t even know who these senior officers are. He said that Continued page 4...

The University of London Union building on Malet Street houses the elected sabbatical officers

Ghazi Aftab Rahman and Viktoria Szmolar (right) disqualified from ULU elections

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23/03/2010

News The Case of the Sussex Six: two charged with assault and four disciplined in Brief Students to miss out on university places At least 50,000 sixth form students with good A level grades will miss out on a university place this year it has been revealed.

The revelation came as UCAS announced that there will be far fewer places available through clearing compared to last September.

UNIS COULD GO BANKRUPT In the wake of cuts in funding many universities are facing the prospect of bankruptcy.

Free market thinktank Policy Exchange argues that universities should not receive the same bail out provided to ailing banks during the financial crisis. Since 1997 there have been 27 mergers to stop struggling institutions from closing.

However, Anna Fazackerley, author of the Policy Exchange report, says this trends must not continue. She states that “Given that this is taxpayers’ money, the idea you will be cushioned no matter how badly you perform and no matter what you do, is wrong. I would imagine there will be one institution and probably more that will face the risk of bankruptcy.”

controversy at mile end group lecture event In a lecture at the House of Lords, organised by Queen Mary’s Mile End Group, Baroness Eliza Manningham-Buller, the former head of MI5, claimed that US intelligence agencies “concealed” their mistreatment of terror suspects.

Lady Manningham-Buller said that she only made these discoveries after retiring in 2007.

She stated that: “The Americans were very keen that people like us did not discover what they were doing.”

Got a News in Brief story?

Email it to Sam Creighton at news@qmessenger.co.uk

Edward Martin Six students have been suspended from Sussex University following a sit-in by around 50 students demonstrating against proposed cuts. The suspension of two students came after they were charged with assault against a security guard and police officer. The other four were disciplined for their prominent role in the protest.

The demonstration was in protest against proposals to cut 115 jobs and a reduction of services, including the loss of day care facilities. By all accounts most of the students present were courteous and unthreatening but that did not prevent the university from calling in riot police and forcibly ending the demonstration and sitin. Whether the police tactics used were heavy-handed or not is up to you to decide, enough videos exist of the event on YouTube. However, what is clear is that the decision to call in riot police alongside

a continued refusal to initiate any dialogue with the students hugely increased tensions and led to the

“Whether the police tactics used were heavy-handed or not is up to you to decide, enough videos exist of the event on YouTube.

However, what is clear is that the decision to call in riot police alongside a continued refusal to initiate any dialogue with the students hugely increased tensions and led to the event spiralling out of control.” event spiralling out of control.

Universities have always been the traditional home of innovation and enlightened dialogue, making the management’s deci-

sion to call in the police and refusal to listen to any discussion on the subject creates a stance of authoritarian dogmatism. A frankly terrifying stance which becomes more and more apparent after a court injunction was acquired by the university preventing any form of further peaceful protest on the campus. That a university calls for a status quo to be maintained and relentlessly insisting that there is only one way something can be achieved seems in many ways laughable.

The saddest part of the whole event, and perhaps the most inevitable, is that nothing has changed. The budget cuts are still going along as planned and despite claims by John Duffy, the Sussex Universities’ registrar and secretary, to the BBC on the 3rd of March that the building occupied would quickly return to normal their main lecture theatre still remains occupied, at least at the time this piece went to press.

One can only hope that when the Queen Mary management choose to cut what is rumoured to be up

to £30 million from the universities’ budget they learn from Sussex’s bungled attempt to stifle and oppress dissent and allow students their say to prevent the creation of distrust and tension between students and the top tier of university staff.

mately the taxpayer that if the deals fail, and the banks get into financial trouble, they will be bailed out ‘for the good of the larger economy.’’

I had also been led to believe that any further taxes would only ‘drive the bankers away’ to Asian economies and that ‘bankers are at the top of their game so they deserve the money they earn’. Professor Harney disagrees: ‘Just like with any industry, banking seeks cheaper labour. But at the same time, banks know that the Singaporean government and its people could never have bailed them out the way the UK and American governments and people did’. In other words, Western economies are still more desirable despite the Windfall tax top bankers have already had to pay and should potentially have to pay again.

So the petition published in The Guardian really is important and a real attempt by a group of people to start a movement saying ‘no’ to the bankers. I would therefore like to give the final word to Professor Harney: ‘Only sustained pressure from people, through the po-

litical process, through NGOs and social movements, through unions, through the media, and even through universities, can ensure that any political party makes real reform under these circumstances. Politicians have to fear people more than they fear banks. At the moment this is not true.’

QM’s Prefessor Harney signs petition asking for changes to banking system Emma Aldridge On 26th February, QM Professor Stefano Harney, of the School of Business and Management, along with 50 other academics and MPs from around the country, signed a petition published in The Guardian asking for changes in the banking sector to prevent further failure.

This was following an announcement on the previous day by RBS that it was dishing out £1.3 billion in bonuses to its top earners.

Similar to the Robin Hood Tax that has recently been floating around on Facebook, the petition in The Guardian asks for a repeat of the windfall tax (a tax on Bankers Bonuses) and a commission tax on bank transfers.

I asked ex-QM student turned New York financial consulting analyst Matt Roehl, about his opinion of The Guardian’s statement and he told me: ‘I personally don’t think higher taxes are the answer. Tax money is usually spent in inefficient

ways such as pet projects of politicians. Giving rewards for performance is also part of the basis of

“QM Professor Stefano Harney, of the School of Business and Management, along with 50 other academics and MPs from around the country, signed a petition published in The Guardian asking for changes in the banking sector to prevent further failure.” capitalism.’ Professor Harney, has a very different opinion on the matter and claims that: ‘At the moment the promise of bonuses drive bankers to take great risks with other peoples’ money to try to make large, short-term gains […] The banks are backed by an implicit guarantee from the government and ulti-

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23/03/2010

The President

Arts and humanities afraid of funds diverting to science-based subjects...

Janani Rathakrishnan

So this is my last column of the term. I will miss this place very much when I leave, but at the same time I am excited about handing over the reins of command to the incoming President and Vice Presidents for next year.

I have been at QM for just under 6 years now, and have worked in many departments around the college, been engaged in many societies and clubs, and met thousands of students who came through University here, and I have had such a great time. Everyone I met has added to my character.

“So much work is done by staff and officers in the union that goes unnoticed by the average student, but has a tremendous impact on each in every one of us.”

I believe QMUL has a great future and QMSU right along side it. New buildings planned and some near completion, refurbishment of existing buildings underway, a new governance structure, a new principal and chair of council, a new chair of finance committee, a new SU constitution, a new QMSU trustee board and SPV board and last but not least a new Sabb team. Great things may lie ahead!

So much work is done by staff and officers in the union that goes unnoticed by the average student, but has a tremendous impact on each in every one of us (students). I take my hat off to all those silent heroes who give up so much time and effort for students and there well-being and overall experience.

Finally, I would like to wish you all a farewell and Godspeed!

Nasir Tarmann

A new government initiative proposes to divert funds meant for arts and humanities degrees into science based subjects. This has been met with a stark warning from an influential group of leading academics about the future of such courses. They state that the country’s intellectual heritage is in danger of being diminished.

The move comes as a result of the funding crisis in higher education; an issue Lord Mandelson intends to resolve by making further stronger connections between businesses and universities. Such a decision has raised fears that universities will soon be seen as a ‘production line’ focused upon serving the needs of industry. The chief executive of the Arts and Humanities Research Council, Rick Rylance criticised the “impact agenda”, a new government requirement for academics in all departments to demonstrate the short-term economic value of their work. In order to achieve his budget cut of £600m by 2013,

Mandelson intends to ring-fence Sam Mendes, who are now “global of Goldsmiths, University of Lonsubjects such as ‘science, techleaders” in the world of film. don; aid the problem was not just nology, engineering and maths’: Protests in the University of in funding but in the rhetoric too. subjects deemed as beneficial to Sussex and King’s College LonHe highlighted the fact that a govthe economy for their research, don have already begun retaliating ernment document, Higher Ambiwhile subjects such as philosophy against the cuts. Academics have tions, a higher-education bluehave been discarded as ‘self-inlaunched weekly protests and print, referred to the dulgent’. As a direct result of the have bombarded MPs with letters arts and humanities extensive budget cuts, the Uniover the issue. Professor Geofonly once. Moreversity of Arts – formed from Lonfrey Crossick, warden over, an emergency don’s arts colleges and Central St plan last summer to Martin’s – has suffered a 35% cut extend university placin its government research fundes by 10,000 was ing grant. restricted to sciSuch a cut in research fundence-related ing is a harsh blow to arts and degrees. humanities, especially as according to the government, one third of the world’s research in this area takes place in the UK. Furthermore, academics argue that those who study the arts and humanities are just as capable working in finance, business and science, as skills such as critical capacity and communication are crucial in the workplace.

Referring to the economic output of British arts graduates, Jonathan Bate, professor of English at Warwick University and a Shakespeare exA new government initiative propses to divert funds from humanities to science pert, pointed to two of his former students, Rachel Weisz and

...But sciences are afraid that their funding will be cut by government too Edward Martin Universities UK and Russell Group universities have started attacking the government over fears that scientific development may be harmed by proposed funding cuts. They are defending against the proposed £500 million cut to university finance falling on scientific research.

This is due to the fact, as they rightly point out, that cutting edge research is essential for the UK to remain competitive in the modern world and create new companies, 219 companies spun out of universities in 2007-8, which are essential for economic growth. It is estimated that from the Russell Group alone scientific research companies created by them generate £700 million annual turnover so their importance to the economy cannot be stressed enough.

It goes without saying that

there is a direct correlation between government funding and the subsequent improvement in facilities and academic staff and the resulting innovations in technology which, with funding cuts, would be developed elsewhere in the world.

Due to this it seems essential that the government’s £178 billion deficit does not fall on research that will greatly aid the economy in a few years time. For instance in the 2007-8 year patent applications from British university’s increased by 500 to an all time high of 1,898 which will be a huge benefit to the economy in a few years time creating more tax revenue than could be saved by cutting research revenue.

Although institutions such as Edinburgh University hope to aid the funding and creation of more businesses than they have ever done before this year this is a battle which will mainly be fought after this year’s election when government funding cuts will be open-

ly discussed. Until then university research continues uncertainly with the threat of funding cuts being sufficient to cut potential funding and stifle the aspirations of a few university created businesses over the fact that in a year they may have to compete for funding, a risk many banks and venture capitalists

would be unwilling to take.

Until it is known when and what is being cut scientific research in the UK will continue to suffer and stifle innovation and research and it will be sometime before university based research in the UK recovers fully although it will be longer if it receives funding cuts.

Universities UK and Russell Group suggest cuts can’t come from science

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What’s going on in America?

QM’s Nick Thomson reports from across the Atlantic

This year’s Oscars failed to get a very positive response on this side of the pond. Many news pundits and viewers texting in to give their two cents claimed that the awards have lost touch with the American people.

The Academy was accused of nominating films for awards that were not that successful with the masses, usually measured by their box office success.

Therefore the Oscars were allegedly out of touch with real Americansʼ opinions.

At one point this debate was more to do with these populist criticisms rather than that the actual results.

There is truth to this claim. The 81st Academy Awards, despite attempting to make it more appealing to the average Joe, did suffer a further drop in their television ratings compared to last year. As a general pattern, viewers are switching over to more entertaining or populist awards ceremonies such as the MTV awards (thatʼs success probably relies on them re-inviting Kanye West and giving him an aisle seat) or People’s Choice Awards, which is essentially the mutant child of American Idol and the Oscars where normal people, you and me, get to vote in and decide who gets awards, hurrah!

With the Peopleʼs Choice Awards, alongside phone-in-and-vote shows like American Idol, taking the limelight away from more elitist shows like the Oscars, it appears that the democratic age of television is finally amongst us. Not only can people determine the course of a television show by picking up the phone, we have gained the vote in recognising achievement.

I know democracy is great and all that, but sometimes people need to learn that some peopleʼs opinions, such as the members of the Academy, are more important than others. The Oscars is the film industry’s own little night to celebrate what they believe are the great achievements of their industry. The Oscars is not Pop Idol, not yet anyway. The Academy is probably out of touch with the general public, but sometimes it takes an elitist organisation of experts in their field to legitimately recognise achievement. The Oscars are not for us but for the film industry.

The Peopleʼs Choice Awards could be influenced by people like me who are pretty ignorant about films; I can admit that I have not even seen the Godfather, or its sequel. Like the man shouting advice at professional footballers on the television, we sometimes need to know when our opinions do not matter and when we need to shut up.

Cancer Research UK launches centre at Barts Cancer Research UK launched a groundbreaking research centre at Barts last month.

The centre will have funds worth two million pounds from Cancer Research UK through a partnership with Queen Mary, University of London and Barts and the London NHS Trust.

The aim for the latest link in a unique chain of centres is a greater focus on catching cancer earlier and ultimately saving more lives. A plan to care for patients suffering from pancreatic, breast, ovarian and prostate cancer, leukaemia and lymphoma is underway as the centre sets targets for new therapies.

Professor John Gribben, consultant haematologist and medical oncologist at Barts and The London NHS Trust, said: “The Centre will bring together

QM students disqualified!

...Continued from front page

he couldn’t tell me because it’s confidential. If I sent around five friends of mine to complain about Ian Drummond or Clare Solomon would he have disqualified them?”

Rahman added: “All we did was spend two minutes asking someone to vote and then moved on to the next person. The most time I spent was with friends and friends of friends. I feel like I’ve wasted a week of my life.”

However, it appears that the returning officer was within his rights to disqualify both candidates, if he did so because they were campaigning in the Queen Mary library – something they both admit.

Szmolar claims that they were “allowed to be in the library” while Rahman commented “we were spreading the word, giving out leaflets to as many students as possible in the library. In the rules it doesn’t forbid any building or institution, we can campaign anywhere.”

Yet in the ULU Election Regulations, regulation B.8.9 (iii) clearly states that: ‘All candidates will be bound by the rules and regulations on the premises on which they are campaigning.’

At Queen Mary, it specifically states in the Students’ Union Election Regulations, in regulation 8.13., that: ‘Candidates may not canvass within the college libraries or areas known as computer laboratories or study areas.’

Since the announcement of the results Rahman appears to have decided to not pursue the issue any further, however Szmolar is fighting for the disqualification to be overturned and, in addition to submitting an appeal, has set up a petition on Facebook which currently has 337 member.

world-class research and clinical delivery to push the boundaries in understanding cancer. This in turn will lead to preventing disease and developing better diagnostic techniques and treatments. Ultimately this will improve cancer survival and enhance the quality of life for those with long-term disease.”

Through the help of the generous donations of supporters of the cancer campaign, innovative techniques to pinpoint how and why cancer grows such as an in depth look into cancer gene therapy as well as a dissection of stem cells, is positive encouragement to those suffering from the disease currently in the UK. A focus on biological therapies will allow doctors to diagnose patients earlier and more efficiently, which in the long run has potential to save many more lives. With doctors and research-

ers working side by side in the laboratory and ward, the centre is said to have added a new dimension to the search for a cure for cancer as Barts reaches out to the local community. Professor Nick Lemoine, Director of the Institute of Cancer and the Cancer Research UK Centre, added: ““The Centre sets the pace for national and international progress in a number of different cancers. The development of the latest gene therapies, and ways to detect cancer as early as possible, continues a long tradition of discovery at Barts, where researchers pioneered the use of many surgical procedures and the use of radiotherapy to treat cancer.”

It is said that Cancer Research invested over 12 million pounds in laboratories at Queen Mary University of London and hopes donations will keep pouring in as the charity continue to

fight the disease. The charity has already launched Centres in Belfast, Birmingham, Cambridge and many other places with hopes to have over 20 centres in the UK by the end of this year.

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23/03/2010

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23/03/2010

Student Comment

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THE DEBATE:

Tuition Fees - What should the government do?

Increase fees to stay competitive The social benefit of university Harvey Bhogal

A hot topic in the news recently has been the avocation of scrapping the cap on tuition fees by groups such as the Adam Smith Institute and Association of Graduate Recruiters, and former Tory minister Lord Patten.

Now let’s take a minute, and with an open mind, think about what this means. We are in a recession. (How many times have you heard this recently?)

All three parties share a consensus that cuts are going to have to take place. Cuts are inevitably taking place in higher education. Yet higher education is still vying to stay competitive on the international scene and thus desperately needs more funding.

Charging higher fees would help increase the funding for universities which could be used for more teachers, better facilities, and better research or even more subsidised places for poorer students. Students will value their degrees a lot more and will be prepared to work a lot harder if they are paying through the nose to study.

This would provide the perfect incentive for higher performance and grades, and lower rates of failure. Demand for university places will decrease, and class sizes will become smaller, which should theoretically mean a better learning experience for students. Contact time with teachers should increase in the classroom, and for tutorials and pastoral care.

“Higher education is still vying to stay competitive on the international scene and thus desperately needs more funding.”

Universities will not be able to take the high application rates for granted and so will have to work harder to offer us better quality degrees, as competitiveness will increase between the universities to attract the brightest and best. Many people are leaving university with worthless degrees and entering the job market with hopeless employment prospects. With degrees no longer subsidised, people will choose to do degrees which will help them to

land jobs and to help them get a good return on their investment.

Furthermore, the majority of people at university are overwhelmingly from middleclass backgrounds, although that is changing more and more. The liberal middle-class lobby has managed to get the government to subsidise the education of the middle-classes since the war. This money could be spent on improving the education of comprehensives or providing apprenticeships and adult training schemes for the working classes and the unemployed. This would be a radical plan, but this utopian vision could only truly work if there was a comprehensive system of scholarships, bursaries, and other forms of financial aid for students from lower and middle income backgrounds, and for students without parents.

Jack White

With the recession, the issue of university funding has returned to the political agenda. Recently, campaigns have started to block cuts to university budgets and staff. But what about student funding?

As we must all be aware, there was a time when students in Britain were funded from the communal purse – the tax stash. In the early 1990s, it was decided to cut loose some of this burden and introduce

fees. Since then, in England, we have had a further blow in the form of top-up fees – currently at £3,225 a year.

While it is obviously beneficial to Government finances if they can shed a few pounds here and there, one prominent ideological rationale given for the switch to fees, is that the student should be investing in his or her own future. This argument is either a misunderstanding or an outright lie – merely a variation in the liberal capitalist ideological mantra of choice and individualism.

University graduates are responsible for the advanced society we find ourselves in.

Our engineering graduates have given us mobile phones, the Internet and cars with airbags. Our scientists can save us from cancers, extend our lives by decades and allow access to vast quantities of information at the touch of but-

The decision regarding what to do with tuition fees will have a major impact on our society in the coming years

ton. Our arts graduates have given us the ability to look at our past, speculate on our future and have brought us a basic literacy rate of 99%.

It is this social aspect which should guide student finance. The simple fact is we all rely on graduates daily, for almost every aspect of our lives. It is a dangerous precedent to set, driving the world’s citizens into a quest to gain advantage only for themselves, and this is exactly what happens we try to motivate through the application of debt.

The marketisation of jobs and education has not even increased the wealth of Britons.

The proportion of people who earn below 50% of median income (the poverty line) stabilised at around 10% in the mid-1990s, when fees were introduced and around 85% of people still live below the average income.

On the 10th March, the lecturers’ union (UCU), released their report, In Place of Fees: Time for a Business Education Tax? The report points out the irresponsibility of the student loan system, with the Government still paying £650m to service just the £2bn 2008 – 2009 tuition fees loan. What is more, the system discourages participation from the least well-off, entrenching their poverty.

The UCU’s report goes on to suggest a tax on businesses recruiting UK graduates. This would make education free to students and only marginally increase business tax in a country which has the second lowest business tax rate in the G7.

It is time to recognise the social benefits of university education and make business and government share social responsibility for the welfare of UK graduates and ultimately, people across the world.

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23/03/2010

America

A miasma of paranoia has been breathed in our direction

Elias Stokes

Homme Deplumme

America, What you were founded for Has not been meted after, Dispensed instead as bible-law In the markets where you barter The honest greedy poor.

Say, USA, do you still ignore, the far Cries of Africa et cetera, or Quote / Unquote ‘No cause for war’, The native dead under the basement Floor?

Breath From the Senate shivers the wires.

‘Listen up y’all, the President Can wager these folk deserve To crawl and are justified to The slaughter’.

Responses please to the opinion stall: Give us a call – Oh eight hundred six threescore, Six. Be advised however, We aim to ignore.

What human crush is this, what loss?

The empty fall, Same when tears, oil or broken towers hit the floor.

The human heart unlearnt in fire, Now as before.

In the UK’s irreplaceably wise Spectator magazine, a miasma of paranoia has been breathed in our direction. Its hint of accusatory menace, however, is as soft and possibly innocuous as the stare of a CCTV camera in the eyes of a drunk student.

In its lofty owl-like wisdom, The Spectator has pointed its finger at certain co-ideators, colleagues, champions of human rights and old friends of mine in a recent article, ‘No Longer Londonistan, But Hamasistan,’ whereby it has warned of a growing support base for Hamas in London. It described, “immensely… chilling analysis… (recently conducted by the Aic in Tel Aviv) that highlights the shocking extent to which Britain has become the European epicentre of Hamas activity.”

I am no fan of Hamas whatsoever. Anyone who targets civilians, while quoting the disputed Bukhari with anti-Semitic purpose is no friend of mine. Anyone who throws rival political leaders off building tops and encourages the unQur’anic concept of murder-suicide as Jihad is no friend, in my humble opinion, of Islam either.

“The reason why Melanie Phillips claimed Queen Mary to be part of Hamasistan-London is because our beloved institution, like LSE, twinned with the Islamic University of Gaza through a vote passed by the democratic Student Union.”

Furthermore, the reason why Melanie Phillips claimed Queen Mary to be part of Hamasistan-London is because our beloved institution, like LSE, twinned with the Islamic University of Gaza through a vote passed by the democratic Stu-

dent Union. I know the people who were instrumental in this and other activities that conjure up the Hamas bogey men, which involved inviting speakers for the purpose of promoting the Palestinian cause, especially in the light of the bombing of Gaza last year.

The Spectator appears to want to protect our fragile foetus minds with its paternal insight, and like a wizened soothsayer, interpret the ‘meaning’ of such events and warn us of our secret affiliations.

Quoting the same report, they implicitly agree that activities such as those conducted by the QMSU and Queen Mary Stop the War Coalition hints of Hamas’ hidden hand – they literally say ‘Hamas involvement’.

Dear lord!

Fame, it seems is both indeed fickle and containing bright, duplicitous riddles. To be mentioned in The Spectator is a shattering honour, almost as full of luminosity as the smoky faintness of their evocation of our links to Hamas. At the same time, it means I will have to reassess my old friends in the light of their evident threat, since I now carry pepper spray and a rape alarm just in case they want to discuss human rights in a troubled and beautiful part of the world. That’s sane vigilance for you.

Michael Foot and the long lost Communists Jack White

So, the last left-wing Labour Party leader is dead, as Michael Foot saw the Labour Party’s socialist credentials crumble through his fingers.

Foot, however, was entirely cut out for his historic role. Born the son of a devout Liberal, he was converted to the Labour Party programme at Oxford University. You might therefore look back at him as more of a social-liberal than a socialist.

The greatest part of Michael Foot’s appeal lay in straddling the dividing line between the Right and Left of the Labour Party. While he is popularly known for the 1983 Labour manifesto – its most left-wing

to date – Foot’s politics were in fact informed by the individualist liberal movement. He was a pacifist and anti-nuclear campaigner.

During his tenure as the Labour Party leader, he began the expulsion of Militant, a communist group within the Labour Party, which was the beginning of the end for the Left. In removing Militant, Foot pushed away many of the party’s most capable left-wing activists and ensured the election of a rightwinger to succeed him. He laid the seeds of the New Labour project there and then.

Many former Labour Party activists and would-be supporters look back at the pre-Foot Party and long for a return to left-wing Parliamentarism. But without the socialists, there can be no socialism guiding the party’s politics.

Whether or not they can regain what was lost under Foot’s leadership is unclear. Foot was an anticommunist and in fact not unrepresentative of Labour Party affection because of it. But the idea of socialism as only a precursor to communism, without that communist element, is nothing.

The trouble with socialism in the Labour Party has always been that it is seen as an end in itself by

so many. They hanker for massive state-ownership of industry, but see nothing beyond it. Michael Foot saw the big state as a means to support the lower end of the social spectrum – to look after those who could not look after themselves. And to some extent, much

“The greatest part of Michael Foot’s appeal lay in straddling the dividing line between the Right and Left of the Labour Party. While he is popularly known for the 1983 Labour manifesto – its most left-wing to date – Foot’s politics were in fact informed by the individualist liberal movement.” of the liberal New Labour rhetoric looked in this direction, no matter how much it has failed in practice. All this achieves, though, is to keep the working-class in its place at the bottom.

The Labour Party’s long lost

communists dared to think beyond that, and argued for a system whereby the poverty-stricken could raise themselves out of poverty, by taking charge of their own lives, and refusing simply to let the state run life for them.

Michael Foot never could see this, and so while he was hailed for his parliamentary ability and devotion to peace and the poor, he is reviled by both the Left for being too right-wing and by the Right for being too left-wing. Perhaps then, he was in fact the model Labour Party leader.

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REVIEWS

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Jasmine Kitchen moves from its beloved QM home Chloe Hunt The Jasmine Kitchen has been a favourite of mine since I first started at QM. A friend of mine suggested lunch, and instead of going to one of the generic ‘fried stuff and chips’ places widely available in Mile End, we went to this lovely cafe situated just outside campus underneath the railway arches, which served Thai and Malaysian food as well as wraps, jackets and salads, at very reasonable prices. Since that day I have eaten there at least once a week, and very often more, as did most of my friends. Sadly, about a month ago Junie, the owner and chef, told us that she was moving due to someone wanting to build something...(I forget the details...)

So anyway, Jasmine had to move, but not too far- just down the road to Whitechapel, and today I decided to venture out of the (relative) safety of Mile End and visit the new place. Situated on a street just opposite the entrance to Brick Lane the bright pink signs are immediately eyecatching, and once you are inside you can feel the cheerfulness and cosiness of everything. There are sofas up on the little balcony, as well as long tables with the trademark pink place mats on the ground floor next to the counter where Junie is cooking. The menu is still the same as before, and I decided to go for the Penang Laksa, a spicy, coconutty noodle soup which Junie customizes according to taste- I like mine spicy but without any fish stick, my boy-

“Sadly, about a month ago Junie, the owner and chef, told us that she was moving due to someone wanting to build something.

(I forget the details...)”

friend likes it mild with ‘a little kick’, as he says, with the extra egg which I also generally decide against. Today reminded me of why Jasmine became such a favourite amongst the staff and students at QM; the welcoming atmosphere and comfy seats, the quick service and delicious food all make it a place where you can’t resist spending money you don’t really have, as it will pretty much just make you happy.

Rating: 9/10

Whisky Mist whisks away your money into a hazy mist Rebecca Wynter Boasting of hosting for A-listers and Royalty, located on Green Park corner, Whisky Mist is the latest glamorous venture from the owners of Mahikis. Sadly it does not echo the style, space or sultry atmosphere.

Insanely pretentious the entry fees infer a clear gender divide for us students. Girls; if you are 18 with WAG intentions and fancy an easy night (easy in more than one sense) this club is perfection. Get yourself on a guest-list and strut up before 11pm in your tiniest skirt and skyscraper stiletto combination, and you will glide into the peroxide scene free of charge. Guys; unless your description is ‘middleaged wanker with more money than sense’, good luck even getting into the mile long queue.

Once clearing the cloakroom it is advisable you take a cattle-prod to circumnavigate your way through the packed masses. The club description boasts “minimalistic decor” meaning a black glossy boxed interior with similar purposes to that of a sardine-tin. The sheer glass ceiling fails to disguise the claustrophobia and the mainstream electro-pop music offering is indifferent. Leather couches are for

strict VIP use only and their glass centred ice-bucket tables merely act as watering holes for the more scantily dresses loiterers.

“Insanely pretentious the entry fees infer a clear gender divide for us students. Girls; if you are 18 with WAG intentions and fancy an easy night (easy in more than one sense) this club is perfection.”

For non-VIP, drinks start at £5.50. For VIP, tables have a £1500 minimum spend and bottles are £300+! If you are beautiful, young and loaded; you will have a good night. If you are beautiful, young and prepared to flirt; you will have a good night. If you are beautiful, young and just fancy a dance amongst a millionaire underworld scene for free; you will have a good night. If you are ugly, well...

True to its name this pretentious club certainly whisks away any money you have into a hazy mist of expensive alcohol, slow staff, sparse seating and an overcrowded dance floor.

Rating: 1/10

Reviews

Written a review? reviews@qmessenger.co.uk

9

23/03/2010

Milton Keynes snow dome Buy something different this Easter Chloe Rogers

BACK-FLIPPING RABBIT For all of those who were deprived of robotic toys when we were younger, cheer yourself up with this little present that hops along realistically before pausing to raise its ears, snuffle its nose and emit a high-pitched squeak.

You’d have to be a weirdo if a back-flipping rabbit doesn’t make you smile. >>> £14.95 from www.the-inspiration-store.com GET CRACKING, MOULD YOUR OWN EGGS Bored with supermarket easter eggs? Stop conforming to convention and have a go at moulding your own. Make sure you follow the instructions; the larger moulds are a bit sticky and the results can end up a bit humpty-dumpty-ish.

So what are you waiting for? Get cracking. >>> £3.49 from www.lakeland.co.uk PLAYBOY BUCKS Who’s a big boy then? Forget playboy bunnies...it’s all about the bucks this Easter. I will be severely upset if I don’t see at least one rugby player sporting this outfit in Drapers after this little gem is published. >>> £32.50 from www.fancydress.com

ADD A BIT OF NAUGHTINESS TO GOOD FRIDAY A different type of egg present you don’t want to get mixed up in the post to relatives. Ideal for kegal exercise these acrylic love eggs may add a bit of naughtiness to Good Friday. >>> £3.99 from www.knickerdrawer.com

EASTER EGG-SPLORATION Are you a QM history student who needs to visit the Imperial War Museum but just can’t get motivated? How does an Easter Eggsploration sound? From 10am to 6pm on April 6th-17th

you can collect your special egg from the Information Desk and seek out shapes and symbols that can be used to decorate it. Win chocolate and, hey, maybe get some essay work done... >>> Free Admission at the Imperial War Museum, Lambeth Rd, SE1 6HZ

When it comes to sport, there literally is nothing I have ever partaken in; that’s if we don’t count the dreaded high school P.E lessons, which 9 times out of 10 I had fake sick notes prepared for, and ballet which potentially doesn’t even count. So when my flatmates decided to book a ski trip - that’s right, a ‘holiday’ which constitutes exercise and cold weather I realised I was going to be challenged in many respects. Not least the getting-fit-part but my mental attitude towards the activity.

My idea of the ski resort is a world apart from the people around me whom all seem to have some sort of experience at skiing. Thrown into the oblivion having never put my foot in a ski boot, literally having to manoeuvre myself around a titanic mountain, and putting my survival skills to the test briefly sums up the picture. Hence, the reason behind my valentine’s gift: a ski lesson booked at the Milton Keynes Xscape Snowdome.

Although you can hire the ‘gear’ from the venue, I borrowed the jacket and salopettes from a friend and teamed it with a pink hoody, pink hat and pink nail varnish to maintain some sort of femininity! The lesson cost £30 for a beginner’s level 1 and, in my opinion, a bit steep considering 15

minutes of the session was learning how to strap the boot to the ski and trudging towards the bottom of the slope from the entrance.

On the bright side, the remaining 45 minutes of the lesson was worth the 90 minute drive out of London.

The instructor was young, funny and remembered all of our names which made it more personal and of course easier for calling out to the cocky ones who went that extra bit further on the slope. The activities involved learning how to ‘snowplough’: basically forming a triangle with your legs to stop yourself from crashing into anyone at the bottom, or in my assumption of a real resort - off the mountain. Activity number two was to get yourself off the conveyer belt which was moving uphill at a fairly fast pace, onto the snowy gradient. I somehow managed to collapse in an ungraceful heap whilst everybody glided right on past. Much to my surprise (and, I think, to the instructor’s - having seen my poor attainment at everything else so far) I managed the rest of the session fairly well. This included getting off the rope-lift, side-stepping up the incline, and reaching the bottom of the slope without falling flat on my face.

All in all, I would advise anyone thinking of going skiing to do the following: book a ski lesson at Milton Keynes where the ‘snow’ is pretty convincing and there are professional instructors to help pick you up. Secondly, dress for the oc-

casion: I for one am perhaps not taking the sport too seriously, but made the most of photographic opportunities in coordinating winterwear, not forgetting the primary purpose of maintaining a reasonable body heat in the cool temperatures of the dome. Last but not least, prepare to fall: not only is this a given when you throw yourself into a winter sport you’ve never done before, but it makes for plenty of laughs on the false ski slopesthere is always someone there to laugh with you, persevere with you, and pick you up to do it all over again. I won’t however speak too soon before the ‘real thing’.

Rating: 7/10

Try a new, different pop sound Vaishali Bhardwaj If you like your pop music and want to try something new then La forza mia is for you. The husky, deep tones of Marco Carta, the singer originating from Cagliari, Sardinia has taken the Italian pop world by storm. Since winning the talent show ‘Amici’ in 2008 with an impressive 75% of the vote, the 24-year-old has gone platinum with his award-winning album La forza mia.

Carta’s album boasts hit songs such as the album cover song La forza mia and the smooth Dentro ad ogni brivido probably the most impressive song on the 11 track album.

Upon hearing Dentro ad ogni brivido allow your thoughts and feelings to be captured and transport your mind to a bustling Italian city whilst Carta’s sensuous and smooth voice provides the backdrop to an unforgettable adventure. Whilst you walk along cobbled streets, past café’s and stores

selling everything from gelato (Italian ice-cream) to Louis Vuitton, the silky voice of the talented Marco Carta along with the melodic and upbeat background music will conjure images of falling in love in Italy.

But Dentro ad ogni brivido is by no means the best the album has to offer – there is something for every pop fan.

There is the deep L’amore che non hai and Resto dell’idea to the catchy tunes

Rating: 9/10

of La forza mia and Grazie a te.

The real beauty of Marco Carta’s music, brilliantly displayed in La forza mia, is that even without understanding or speaking one word of Italian, the rich tones of Carta’s voice against a backdrop of melodic and heartfelt music can easily be appreciated by all. If you like smooth pop laced with meaningful lyrics then this is something to check out.

10

Science & Environment

Got a story? science@qmessenger.co.uk

23/03/2010

Forget Alien vs Predator, meet the new Alien Predators Richard Dodwell

Europe is about to release its first non-native “biological control” species to curb the spread of Japanese knotweed, and “about time too”, says scientist Dr Matthew Cock. For the first time in Europe, the UK government has granted approval for an insect from Japan to be released in order to control the invasive plant, Japanese knotweed.

concrete. It has been estimated that to manage Japanese knotweed in the UK, without successful biological control, would leave farmers, gardeners and local councils facing a bill of at least £13.5bn by the end of the century.

It is the first time that a biological weapon of this kind has been used in Europe against an invading plant. This botanical warfare concept is far from new, and Europe has been lagging behind other regions that have had more challenging experiences with invading alien species.

Japanese knotweed maintains its alien-like status, with its ability to burst through tarmac and crack open through

Exotic flower keeps bees busy in winter Richard Dodwell In recent years, the UK has seen an increasing number of bees about in the chilly months of winter.

Why? Because whilst most bees are hibernating, the buff-tailed bumblebee, Bombus terrestris, is flying about taking advantage of the exotic winter-flowering plants in our parks and gardens, according to scientists at the ground-breaking research institution that is Queen Mary, University of London.

to a major new change in the behaviour of the British buff-tailed bumblebee.”

According to his colleague Ralph Stelzer, these specialised winter bees may even have the capability to collect nectar faster than those foraging in the summer. He monitored the bees’ activity by tagging them with tiny state-of-the-art Radio Frequency Identification chips, like those used Oyster cards, and measuring

the amount of nectar they collected.

Furthermore, according to the Queen Mary website, ‘Dr Ings has recently been awarded a three year Early Career Fellowship from the Leverhulme Trust to carry out further research into the reasons behind the bees’ changing behaviour.

He also hopes to investigate the effect the coldest winter for almost 30 years has had on bee activity.’

The study, published in the journal PLoS ONE, suggests that this particular species of bee raises an additional generation of worker bees to collect nectar from such plants which flower during the colder months. According to Dr Thomas Ings from Queen Mary’s School of Biological and Chemical Sciences, “all of the UK’s bumblebee species normally die out in the autumn leaving only their new queens to survive the cold in hibernation. However, this research points

Attempting to combat climate change can be more damaging for the environment

Can Rhinos cure cancer?

Richard Dodwell

Richard Dodwell

A study has found that fertilising the oceans with iron in order to absorb carbon dioxide could increasing concentrations of a chemical that can kill marine mammals.

In a move which highlights the often clumsy and illogical views of some militant climate-change organisations, the “desperate quest” to combat what many see as a natural occurrence has again fallen flat of logic and scientific understanding. Iron, a naturally occurring mineral, stimulates the growth of marine algae that absorb CO2 from the air, and has thus been touted as a “climate fix.”

Now researchers have shown that the algae increase production of a nerve poison that is fatally toxic to mammals and birds. The toxin - domoic acid first came to notice in the late 1980s as the cause of amnesiac shellfish poisoning. It is produced by algae of the genus Pseudonitzshia, with concentrations rising rapidly when the algae

“bloom”.

Domoic acid poisoning may also lie behind a 1961 incident in which flocks of seabirds appeared to attack the Californian town of Capitola - an event which inspired Alfred Hitchcock’s interpretation of Daphne du Maurier’s The Birds in his 1963 film.

However, Climos, a californian anti-climate change organisation, aims eventually to deploy this technique on a commercial basis. A Climos spokesman agreed that further research on domoic acid production was probably needed to ensure the safety of the public. “Moving forward, we need to understand exactly how deep-ocean phyto-

Did you know...

m Reindeer have no internal body clock, according to scientists. Researchers have found that the animals are missing a “circadian clock” that influences processes including the sleep-awake cycle and metabolism. The revelation could explain how they endure

those late nights on Christmas eve. m Tiger decline is literally an epic fail, of global proportion. The world’s governments need to crack down on illegal tiger trading if the big cats are to be saved from

plankton respond to iron, be it naturally or artificially supplied; whether and in what situations domoic acid is produced, and how the ecosystem is or is not already adapted to this,” he said.

Despite reservations from scientists, it looks likely that the practice will go ahead as governments vying for public adoration increasingly seek to spend money on popular pro-climate exercises. One skeptic who appeared eager to remain neutral on the matter suggested that “if the end goal is to use it to fight climate warming, then we have to understand the consequences for marine life.”

No. But last June, a group of five men drove into South Africa’s Addo National Park and held up the ranger’s station at gunpoint.

They emerged with a small consignment of ivory and rhino horn worth a whopping 850,000 rand, or £75,000.

soon. According to Richard Black of the BBC, “often we envisage the solution to environmental problems as being about laws and policies, or markets and incentives, or scientific research and public awareness.” But I would like to propose an equation far simpler... stop poaching endangered species for your voodoo wizardry, you bastards.

The rhino-horn, taken from animals which are claimed to have died naturally, was probably destined for Vietnam, where the popular myth about its capacity to boost powers in the bedroom has been augmented by a belief that it can cure cancer.

Last year a Vietnamese diplomat was recalled to Hanoi after being filmed apparently buying rhino horn outside her embassy in Pretoria, South Africa. By the way, the black rhino of Southern Africa is already listed as critically endangered, so we can only hope that this popular “cure” doesn’t catch on too

Science quote of the month: extinction, the UN has warned. m If you thought your life was exciting, think again. Tourism chiefs in Cumbria are encouraging people to “tweet” online should they spot a blooming daffodil in the Lake District.

“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, and not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science.”

- Charles Darwin

Science & Environment

Got a story? science@qmessenger.co.uk

11

23/03/2010

QM and the community around us Farid Bakht The Next Generation faces a crisis. One most are not prepared for. One that their parents’ generation have bequiethed them.

We tell them they are on the cusp of a ‘double-dip’ recession, a possible depression or at best stagnation, very little chance of getting a house, facing cuts to budgets, and courses and lecturers, a rise in tuition fees and a very uncertain future ahead.

To top it all, we tell them that climate change and peak oil is waiting for them as the powerful nations fight for gas, oil and minerals in wars we thought we had left behind in the 1800s.

What do students in one of the poorest boroughs of the country do?

Sandwiched between the twin financial centres of the City of London and Canary Wharf and the emerging Olympic complex, and shopping city at Stratford. Should young people in Bethnal Green bother to enrol at Queen Mary University? What can they look forward to?

In Germany, a quiet economic revolution has been talking place.

Over a quarter of a million people are working in the Green economy.

By the end of this decade, they will number one million.

An entire new industry is appearing. They are building wind turbines, solar cells and panels, new batteries and all the components needed for this high technology industry.

Design, analysis and engineering for energy efficiency and clean manufacturing are added to marketing, promotion and media for this sector.

They know that they will have to change course to catch up with Japan, China, Denmark, Spain and the US as we go forward to a lowcarbon economy.

The City and Docklands are banking on ‘carbon-trading’. A new £2 trillion market to take the place of sub-prime property bubble.

There are lots of issues with ‘carbon-trading’. As Greens, we prefer rich countries actually reduce their energy output and carbon emissions, rather than pay a poor country to do so.

We also advocate free Open Source Software rather than expensive Microsoft Windows. However, if the jobs are in servicing Microsoft software we do not stand in the way of people learning those skills so that they can earn a living.

Similarly, despite our reservations about carbon trading, we

would say to young people to find out about this vast new industry, get the qualifications and get prepared. After all, in the stagnating or depression era times we are faced with, the Next Generation should be given a chance to survive.

And you never know, our governments might still see sense and see that with the UK having 40% of Europe’s wind resources, this country could become a wind-superpower exporting clean electricity instead of dirty oil.

Just as very few people anticipated the power of the Internet or new changes, only some are aware of what will radically change our economy over the coming decade.

This is now mainstream thinking.

Big Money is in. And where Big Money goes, will go the jobs.

I think we should argue for a more decent alternative to our dysfunctional economy and we should also prepare for the likely outcome. A mix of clean manufacturing as well as carbon trading.

Queen Mary is in an incredible situation. It already offers Masters degrees in renewable energy. It has entered the new economy.

It needs to have a vision of becoming the premier institution in this field. It needs to team up with the financial companies on its doorsteps.

council’s desire for us to continue recycling. Up until recently the Borough had one of the worst recycling records in the country but a huge effort in recent years has changed this and there are now more opportunities and locations to recycle than ever before. All low rise and over 2,000 high rise properties now have doorstep council collections, there are almost 100 street recycling banks across the Borough and

Whitechapel’s market has been confirmed as the UK’s first to recycle 100 per cent of the waste it generates; altogether fairly impressive figures. Many of you will inevitably also be residents of Tower Hamlets and it is down to you to use the multitude of services provided. We’ve all been guilty of not being responsible in the past, but in our local Borough that is no longer an excuse available to us.

The UK has the potential to become a Wind Turbine island While we should have nothing to do with the entry of banks into our schools (as in academies), we can talk to them about energy. They know nothing about education. They do know something about financing new industries. They crave to enhance their image. They call it branding.

Let us invite them to finance new departments and courses for this new sector in one of the most deprived areas of the country.

Let us also awaken the community, the hinterland to the University, that their youth should look

less at mortgage finance and instead to carbon financing. That job will come in low skill activities such as building & insulation, to energy assessment and interior design, to recycling, waste control and to manufacturing and marketing.

They are talking about calling this the Green Olympics. As Olympic boroughs, we should take advantage of this too.

When the spotlight arrives, what will Queen Mary say make it stand above the rest? And what will we do to help take it there?

Craig Ferriman

coa plants.

This comes as MP’s warn of the danger of cocaine use in Britain. Over 235 deaths were recorded in 2008.

The committee said that it led to heart disease, the erosion of brain function and could be “extremely toxic” when mixed with alcohol.

The MP’s called for tougher detection from with a greater emphasis placed on hand-held devices.

Figures suggest that only 12% of cocaine smuggled into Britain is confiscated.

The chair of the Home Affairs Select Committee , Keith Vaz, said that the operation against drug bosses was “woefully inadequate.”

Tower Hamlets - Greener than you think A scourge on the planet Charlie Hodd In the modern age of environmental concern, recycling is now rightly part of our everyday lives.

Many of us make the individual effort to separate and dispose of our waste so that it can then be used again to reduce energy usage, reduce air pollution and lower greenhouse gases. But as students can we say that we’re all doing as much as we can?

The ‘Climategate’ scandal of recent months has reminded and caused us all to re-consider our stance on the environment and our need and responsibility to protect it. Recycling is integral to this. Evidence of what happens when we don’t take enough care over disposing our waste properly is clear in tragedies such as the ‘Great Pacific Garbage Patch.’

But to help on a global scale change has to be made on a local level.

And this is where students in the borough can and are making a difference.

Residents of Tower Hamlets are only too well aware of the local

Tower Hamlets run a successful recycling scheme in the area

It is often meat eaters, frequent flyers and car drivers that are lambasted for irresponsible behaviour that cause high external costs to our precious planet.

Today it would appear that coke addicts are added to that list because for every few lines of cocaine snorted, four square metres of rainforest are destroyed.

A Home Affairs Select committee investigating the implications of mass tree logging said that this was devastating Columbian rainforests because trees were being knocked down to grow co-

For every few lines of cocaine snorted, four sq/m’s of rainforest are destroyed

12

Film

Like films? film@qmessenger.co.uk

23/03/2010

Tim Burton back, but a disappointing return Alex MacDonald Well, Tim Burton’s back again, everyone. Tim Burton is one of the very few genuine auteurs who can actually make big-budget effectsdriven films without having to compromise his personal integrity and vision. He usually thrives on having a big, flashy outlet for his crazed musings, but unfortunately he’s fallen down a bit with Alice in Wonderland.

Featuring the wonder team trio of Burton, partner Helena Bonham Carter and regular actor (and presumably, by now sex partner) Johnny Depp, the film is a twist on the original story – in this film, Alice (Mia Wasikowska) is an adult who is drawn back into Wonderland to help save the inhabitants from the rule of the tyrannical Red Queen (Bonham Carter), but she can’t remember having been there in the first place.

It’s a neat idea, but the main problem is that Burton completely undermines the surreal nature of the story by giving it coherence and consistency. Basically, he’s trying to make sense of a story which

makes no sense. As such, rather than the land of Wonderland coming across as a soporific, hallucinogenic dreamscape in which anything could happen, it becomes yet another fantasy land in the style of the Lord of the Rings or Chronicles of Narnia and the material of Alice in Wonderland really does not suit this.

And this is the other problem – Burton completely relies on the source material for visuals and so we see all the familiar characters like the Mad Hatter, March Hare, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum drawn out in front of us with a banal predictability. Other than the weirdly proportioned Red Queen, nothing interesting is done with any of the characters. If anything, he actually normalises them, making them just more stereotypes in the Harry Potter-esque plot – particularly the Jabberwocky, which dispenses with the original whimsical surrealism of the John Tenniel illustrations in favour of just making another big firebreathing dragon.

And, of course, there’s a BIG FIGHT. Why all modern fantasy films feel a need to have a huge battle at some climactic point I don’t know and that goes doubly for this film,

where it comes across as incredibly forced and tagged on.

Now if I sound harsh, I don’t really mean to be – it’s not a bad film, really.

The overall design is impressive enough and Johnny Depp’s performance is memorably zany and wacked out. It’s just that I expect better from Tim Burton – I had hoped for a genuinely strange and twisted work of gothic imagination.

Instead, what I got was a Harry Potter film which happened to use a few characters from Alice in Wonderland.

I suppose I could blame the influence of Disney, expect that the original Disney animated feature of Alice in Wonderland was a damn sight more genuinely surreal and creepy than this.

In fact, that’s the other problem of course – there are such myriad adaptations of Alice in Wonderland that the original disorientating effect of the story can no longer hold sway when the characters are so well known. Still, I could have hoped for a better effort than this.

Does your chewing gum lose its flavour? Take me where that water flows Alex MacDonald It occurs to me that Alien Nation is worth mentioning in light of the recent success of District 9 since as it’s a very similar film in a lot of ways.

Directed in 1988 by thorough B-Director Graham Parker, the film is set in a near future where aliens have landed and attempted to integrate into society.

Xenophobic cop Matthew Sykes (the ever leathery James

“It’s basically a buddy cop movie in that grand old 80’s tradition, except that instead of the odd couple being a black and a white guy, it’s a human and an alien.”

Caan) is investigating a murder and finds himself paired with one of the aliens, Sam Fransisco (Mandy Patinkin).

It’s basically a buddy cop movie in that grand old 80’s tradition, except that instead of the odd couple being a black

and a white guy, it’s a human and an alien, which in this case does elevate the film from 48 Hours-esqu macho flexing to a genuinely interesting film.

Not to mention the presence of the ever-excellent James Caan as well as Terence Stamp doing his brooding best.

There was later a popular cult TV series spin-off which further

explored the themes of racism, immigration and whatnot that are touched upon in the film, but the film itself is a great example of 80’s cult cinema and proof that the B-Scene was alive and kicking well through the Selfish Decade...

Eddie Braddock I’m buzzin’ about a film which no-one seems to o’ seen and I’m not seein’ why.

I first took a gander at 5000 fingers of Dr T around the sweet age of 5 and for years I wasn’t sure whether it was a

real film or just some funked up freak out from my minor mind.

First unleashed upon an unsuspecting public in 1953, it is, in the essence, a young ‘uns film about a boy who is unhappy with his life in a 50’s dishwasher advert home where he is subjected to piano lessons by deep-

est sucker, Dr. Terwilliker. He slams out during one lesson and finds his sweet self in a zonked-out, angular prison where Dr. T forces him to play the biggest, most severely bad piano in the world.

The film was pen-topapered by none other than Dr. Seuss PhD (pulling heavy dope) which explains the mind-mangling array of deranged characters, jaw-jammingly surreal set pieces, bizarre (and fierce annoying) musical numbers and often completely ‘faced dialogue (“is it atomic?” “Oh yes, VERY ATOMIC!”).

The acting’s not what you might call “good” or even “ripped-out” but that’s not really the cheese sandwich, here.

The film’s meant to be a child’s nightmare and plays it’s sweet self out as such, with dream logic ruling the coop.

Anything that can happen, will happen and has happened, but never doesn’t.

Be on ya toes for the veiled cold war message too!

Games

13

23/03/2010

Events and listings...

READ International Tube Raid Queen Mary’s branch of the READ International charity devote their time raising money to provide books to uneducated children in Tanzania. Their latest fund-raising ventures are a collection of ‘Tube Raids’ in which they’ll scour some London Underground stations for possible donations.

They were at Oxford Circus on the 13th March and will be at Paddington on the 24th March.

Come along, show your support and even offer a helping hand! It’s all for a great cause. For more information on this fund-raiser and other upcoming fund-raisers from the charity contact londoneast@readbookproject.org.uk.

Queen Mary Boxing Club Come and show your skills Mondays: 16:00-17:30 in the Qmotion Sports Hall Tuesdays: 19:30-21:00 in the Qmotion mind and body stuio

QM & Barts Hindu Society

Want to learn more about Hinduism? What to find out what we do and why? Come along to the Samvada.

Every Wednesday at 15:30 in Francis Bancroft Room 1.01.02.

For more information search our Facebook group: NHST QMUL Hindu Society

Russian Department Theatrical Production of Evgenii Schwartz’s ‘Dragon’ Come and watch the Russian Department’s theatrical rendition of ‘Dragon’; an epic tale of triumph and valour.

They’ll be showings on the 25th and 26th of March at 7pm in the Arts Lecture Theature.

Tickets will cost £4 normally and £3 if you present your student card

Politics Department Seminar on ‘The Casino Crisis and the political economy of peace’

from the University of Bradford.

Wednesday 24th March in Laws 1:19 at 16:15 - All Welcome!

QMUL Amnesty International Society Sign up

23rd - 28th March

Monday – Mondays Call-

Tuesday – Quiz Night:

ing: £1 Drinks Deals from

From 19:30 Wednesday – We Love

Amnesty International is a 2.2 Million strong organisation with supporters and subscribers in over 150 countries and territories in every region of the world. Our purpose is to protect people wherever justice, fairness, freedom and truth are denied. Finally students at Queen Mary’s have now set up a society for the many campaigns that we hope to raise awareness of.

Please join, voice your opinions and come to the meetings: Meeting Room: Francis Bancroft 3.22 Mondays: 5-6pm

Wednesday: THE MERGER CUP: 10pm - 2am Thursday – Envy: Queen Mary’s Only Urban Night.

Tickets only £4!

Friday – Flirt!: £3 Members £5 Guests FREE entry before 10!

Sunday – Cinebar

Got an event that you’d like to advertise? Email events@ qmessenger.co.uk with a title, brief one-line description and 100-200 word blurb with any details and we can post it in the next issue of QMessenger.

screenings at 15:00 and 18:00 of ‘Zombieland’.

Free popcorn!

29th - 1st June

8pm to 2am!

Tuesday - Quiz Night: From 19:30 Wednesday – We Love Hail Mary: £3 Members £5 Guests…

Thursday - Easter End Of Term Blowout. £5 Advance Tickets (Members Only)// MOTD. Limited Guest Tickets available on the door from 9pm RnB // Hip Hop // Funky House // Pop // Chart // Dance 9pm - 2am

Hosted by Professor Michael Pugh

Crossword No. 11 Sudoku No. 21 & 22 Across 8. Kneecap (7) 9. State of confusion (3-2) 10. Become eroded (5) 11. Room for surgical operations (7) 12. Female rabbits (4) 13. Forebear (8) 16. Duce (8) 19. Futile (4) 22. Salty sea in Israel (4,3) 23. Indifferent (5) 24. Emancipated (5) 25. Divine (3-4)

2. Stool pigeon (6) 3. Layers (5) 4. Inhabitant of Kansas (6) 5. Appeared (7) 6. Unless (6) 7. Agile (4) 14. No subject to rent (4,4) 15. Roadside (7) 17. Boxes (6) 18. Resembling an orange (6) 20. Very handsome young man (6) 21. Container for storing items (5) 22. To tip the hat (4)

Last issue’s solution (Crossword no. 10)

Down 1. Magnificent (8) Medium

Hard

Last issue’s solutions (Sudokus no. 19 & 20)

Medium

Hard

14

Sport

Interested in sport? sports@qmessenger.co.uk

23/03/2010

VP Activities Speaks...

QM Jiu-Jitsu impress again in Nationals Vasana Don THE GROUND-FIGHTING Randori Nationals were held in Telford, Birmingham over the weekend of 6th and 7th March, with the QM Jitsu team sending strong representation once again.

Well hello. I have some very, very sad news. This is my LAST column of the term.

But I also have some pretty great news (well, it depends on if you enjoy my column, if you don’t, the news is slightly less gripping...) So, I get to write a column again next year! Although this time it’ll be as President of the SU and so I’ll be much more Newsnight and a little less Gossip Girl (and I’ll probably be so busy as president I won’t even get to watch it! There’ll always be time for Glee though. Always. It’s more important than breathing.)

Right, well this week I decided to take some real exercise, well I say real, it was in fact a dodge ball tournament. For those of you who are wondering, it is actually a real sport where the five D’s are crucial to smooth and successful play: Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and ... Dodge.

Being slightly lanky myself, and with ‘petite’ muscles (due to lack of gym time because of my massively demanding job) you would think I’d have been at a disadvantage. Nevertheless, I persevered, but sadly our team, somewhat ironically named ‘massive lads’ lost in the second round to ‘team sexy’.

But it’s not important who won or lost. It is, as we have all been taught from a young age, the taking part that counts. And it was for charity, and I’d like to thank the Pro Bono team for organising it.

So finally I’d like to thank all my loyal fans, I know there are many of you out there crying into your coffee at this very moment at the prospect of a whole summer without me, and if you are you can take solace in the fact that you are not alone.

No, what I actually wanted to say (before I slipped into this egotistical headspace) was that I have really enjoyed my first year as a Sabb and I will be as good a President as I can be for you next year.

Enjoy your summer, try not to fail, in both exams and life, Ahoj, and today that means goodbye. X

Vratislav Domalip III VP Activities

The traditional 5a.m. on Saturday start from London was relatively uneventful, and the ensuing coach journey northward quite tame, barring the filthy, politically incorrect jokes and stalking sleep-photography. A jovial set of twelve of the QM Jitsuka rei’d on to the mat for training in the morning and remained serene until the competition in the afternoon.

Despite the lack of sleep and extremely dubious weight categories, two of the yellow belts went through to the semi-finals but were sadly knocked out on technical wins and all the orange, purple, light blue and half of the brown belts went through to the finals the next day.

Following a cheeky swim, Ja-

cuzzi, steam room and sauna session, consumption of a vast quantity of pizza, good company enjoyed and alcohol imbibed, the twelve Jitsukas were guilty of bringing the coolest club in London to the party; our talented ‘totty’ showing the DJ and the 3rd Dans in dresses exactly how it was done on the dance floor.

Retiring at a none-too-sensible hour for what time we had to awake the next day, QM Jitsu hit the sack, some in a more crowded situation than others...Alarms, too much breakfast, checking out and various injuries took us through training on Sunday, with considerably more sounds of people being thrown, bounced and concussed than the day before!

Our competitions in the afternoon basically consisted of our poor Jitsuka taking on opponents blatantly in the wrong weight categories. Nonetheless, QM Jitsuka did extremely well and become the 7th best overall out of 50 clubs nationwide, with nearly the smallest number of competitors. A big shout out to every Leopard who

went to the Randori Nationals and the competition achievements are as follows: Durim Manaj (Sportsman of the month) - Gold – Standing Adam O’Shea - Silver - Ground fighting Jacqui Phillips - Silver - Ground fighting and standing Elad Yazdi - Silver - Standing Jamie Ellis - Bronze - Ground fight-

ing Vasana Don - 4th place - Standing Stephanie Walker and John Bishop Semi-finals Patricia Watber, Daneil Poon and Oliver Hughes - for competiting Spirits were high on the coach home, celebrating our success and lack of injuries sustained!

Queen Mary send strong representation to National Jitsu finals

Dynamic debut for Queen Mary athletes Samuel Etienne QUEEN MARY produced a number of stunning feats to shock their London rivals by picking up second place overall in the UL Indoor Athletics Championships.

For several years the UL Championships trophy has swapped hands between UCL and Imperial College.

This year the overall outcome was no different, with Imperial College, accompanied by their Medics, winning the team event with an unassailable 403 points. It should be noted that Imperial have a greater number of athletes than the entire University of London Athletics Club.

QM placed second with 228 points, later revised (provisionally) to 226 – tying for 2nd with St Georges’ college. This was followed closely by Kings on 222.

Second place in the Championships is no small feat for a group that had met for the first time on the day - outside of Mile End Station! The other Colleges had a myriad of athletes specializing in individual events that train several times a week, with access to top quality facilities and coaching. Many of the QM athletes that competed on the day had not taken the opportunity to practice their events at the temporary training ground (Mile End Stadium), making the team’s 2nd place finish all the more impressive.

Fielding one of the smallest and most inexperienced teams at the Lea Valley Indoor Athletics Centre on Saturday 6th March, The Leopards stormed to second place in their first showing at the University of London Athletics Championships.

The standout QM performance of the day was Carla Jackson’s emphatic win in the Women’s 3000m final, finishing over a minute ahead of her rivals.

Queen Mary amassed a strong points tally, thanks to a string of podium finishes and athletes making finals, including: Golden Ogbonna, running in cumbersome trainers (as opposed to the sleek spikes worn by his rivals) placing 2nd in the 200m final, by less than a tenth of a second.

Maxwell Uzodinma & Kenne Ellis, 2nd and 3rd in the 60m hurdles respectively.

Dorian Cooper 2nd overall in the Long Jump, winning the B-string event. Between jumps he also competed in the Shot Put, placing 3rd in that event.

Samuel Etienne (team captain), 2nd in the high jump, having twisted his ankle on his take-off foot in the early rounds - requiring ice in between jumps to numb the pain and reduce swelling – later unable to compete in the Triple Jump, or walk(!)

A special thanks must go to both Maduka Umeh and Bola Amoniyi for helping organise the event.

Sport

Interested in sport? sports@qmessenger.co.uk

15

23/03/2010

McGuinness’ Moment

Hockey champions end cracking campaign

CHAMPIONS. Heroes. Heroines.

Darren McGuinness

QM and BL have produced many over the years, but at time of press this season we have a few nominations. These are in no way official (although I personally value my opinion quite highly), and are all from QM because no Barts writers have got me any articles this season, but here we go: Martin Bergesen – Football Club. Goalscoring is like breathing for the Norwegian striker, and we’ve all lost count of his tally.

Sam Ecott – Hockey Club. Not only did he captain the side to the Championship, but he led the team with 11 goals as well.

Aktar Gani – Tennis Club. Not technically a student any more but he has revolutionised the way QM goes about playing Tennis.

QM Badminton – won the ULU Mixed Cup and both men’s teams got to semi-finals in BUCS Cup. QM Men’s Basketball – everyone has played their part in the success of winning their BUCS league. Champions.

QM Men’s Football – 1st team (BUCS).

2nd team (ULU Reserves Cup) Heroic performances from the boys as they have won their BUCS league. Champions. 2nd team are in the Cup Final at time of writing.

QM Jitsu – Astounding success in national tournaments, earning us points galore.

It is worth mentioning also that, despite generally performing less well, BL Rugby 1s and BL Netball 1s both won big promotions just in time for the Merger Cup as well.

Overall it has been a great improvement on previous years, our humble little slice of East London carving out a name for itself on a bigger stage. If everything goes to plan I foresee the start of something bigger here, so when it comes to the Merger Cup make sure you put everything you’ve got into it, so as to create a legacy from which we can build.

The Old Boys and Old Girls matches taking place shortly will, too, be a great chance to catch up with those who’ve gone on to greater things, but remember where you came from when you leave us here at QM and BL – you sportsters will have developed families during your time here within your Clubs, so make sure y’all keep in touch.

Darren McGuinness Sport Editor

QM 2-1 Imperial Medics 2s CCC 2s 1-2 QM A WEEK to remember was had by Sam Ecott and his band of banter boys when Queen Mary were crowned BUCS league winners following tough 2-1 wins over Imperial Medics 2s and Canterbury 2s respectively.

Despite being messed around with a pitch booking at Mile End and finally managing to confirm a pitch slot at Redbridge only 20 minutes before they were due to play, thanks massively to Toby Emmerson – Sports and Societies Manager at QMSU, the Leopards imposed their dominance from the start against Imperial Medics.

A host of opportunities went begging for QM before skipper Ecott drilled the ball forward to Matt Stott.

He laid a perfect pass on to Charlie Hodd who duly slotted away his ninth goal of the season, Stott’s umpteenth assist in a prolific year for the forward pairing.

The Medics came back, though, after a shot from outside the D got the slightest deflection off a forward’s stick before taking a further ricochet off Alex Reeves past the helpless Darren McGuinness in goal.

One apiece at half time was not a fair reflection on the performances of either team, with QM dominating, but the hosts soon regained the advantage as Ecott buried a trademark piledriver from a short corner. IC Medics came back, though, and it was a tense fifteen minutes as the visitors pressed. They thought they’d stolen a point at the end, when a bouncing ball was passed between the forwards before being slotted home, but the umpire judged it to be dangerous and a free hit was given to the hosts.

That game counted double, both for the ULU and BUCS leagues, meaning the boys finished second in ULU, but still required a win from their last game of the season to confirm promotion in BUCS. A win was just what they got.

13 made the journey to Canterbury, arriving with plenty of time to get warmed up and used to a waterbased Astroturf pitch. It was vital that they did so, too, as the hosts were far more impressive than they had been two weeks previously, although it must be noted that the unbeaten 1st team may have had some representation amongst the Canterbury ranks.

Ne’ertheless, QM forged chance after chance before Ecott eventually capped another well-worked short corner for his 11th goal of the season, Stott with the pass in once again.

A string of good saves by McGuinness

kept it clean at half time, and again he was in fine form to deny further opportunities at the start of the second period.

Hodd and Marcus Gütschow combined brilliantly on the left to slot Mike Hazlewood in to score his fifth of the campaign, nicking in at the back post to add his most important goal to date.

At 2-0 Canterbury came back hard, as they needed a win to avoid relegation. A deflected drag-flick got between James Grundy and McGuinness, but it was against the run of play. In truth, QM should have been far further ahead by this point, but more good saves from McGuinness kept the score as it was.

When the final whistle blew there was elation from the roaring Leop-

ards, having gone unbeaten in the BUCS league since their opening day defeat, and much fun was had on the pitch, in the showers, on the bus ride home and (apparently) in Drapers.

ELSEWHERE in the south of England, the Leopardettes did QM proud in recording 6-2 and 1-0 wins over King’s 2s and UCL 2s respectively. While they didn’t win their leagues, as a few forfeits deducted points, they have had a superb season and with almost the entire team in their first or second years it bodes well for at least the short-term future of the Hockey Club.

These are likely to be the bestcontested Merger Cup Hockey matches in recent years. Hockey push backs are at 15:30 (women’s) and 17:00 (men’s) at Stepney Green Astroturf.

Men’s hockey were crowned BUCs League 4b champions

Leopardettes in fifth gear Football 2s lose shoot-out The QM Netball 1st Team have been on a high recently. After our gripping win against Hertfordshire a few weeks ago, we played three matches in a week and by the time the fourth game was finished, we had netted our fifth win in a row. We really seem to have gelled very well as a team throughout the year, knowing each others game play and playing to our strengths.

ULU League We played UCL 3s, King’s Medics 3s and RUMS 2s in the space of a few days. The match against UCL was a mixed encounter, as our play was not as controlled as it usually was, but we still put in a strong performance and came away with a 26-18 victory. Our next match against KCLMS was a very successful encounter, as we combined well throughout the court and stayed strong through the match, winning 45-32. Taking on RUMS, we pulled away strongly in the first quarter, but with a few team changes, RUMS pulled back a lot in the second quarter and the game became much more even.

However, the defence stayed strong and the mid-court worked really well to get the ball into the attackers, and we slotted in the goals, and as the final whistle blew, we celebrated, so happy to have won yet

another game, finishing 33-22 this time.

BUCS League When it came to playing Greenwich 1s, it was another nail-biter. In a sweltering sports hall and two matches in the previous two days, we were all feeling it a bit and all the way up to the third quarter, us Leopardettes were trailing to Greenwich. However, we fought back very well and took command of the game.

Our game play really picked up, and we were fighting for every ball, combining well throughout the court to deliver the ball into the circle to get the goals. Going into the fourth quarter we were tied, and instead of letting the pressure get to us, we managed to forge ahead by three.

Greenwich reined us in again by pulling back a few goals, and the game became tense once more. Ahead by one, we had to keep possession, and get the goals in when we got the chance. Thankfully, the final whistle blew and we won in the end 38-37. Player of the match was Laura Kendrick at GA, who consistently played very well throughout, and Players Player was Rosie Caven at WA, playing strongly in her debut for the 1st team.

It certainly feels good to be on such a winning streak, and we are certainly well prepared to take on Barts in the Merger Cup – bring it on!

...Continued from back page loway laid off the resulting free kick and smashed it low into the corner giving Barker no chance.

Despite Royal Holloway coming

“It was frustrating as it was a game we could, and probably should, have won. The decisions by the referee played a massive part in the result.” close to breaking the deadlock in the first half when they hit the bar twice – first when Barker pushed a 25-yard freekick onto the bar and then when the resulting rebound header crashed against the bar again and was then put over from two yards out – Queen Mary controlled much of the game with Nick Wright and Alfie Davies combing well down the right-hand channel.

In a sloppier second half, Royal Holloway looked dangerous on the break as Queen Mary lost their passing rhythm, but no clear cut chances were created and after a

quick ten minutes of extra time the match went to penalties.

Referee Halse repeatedly ordered retakes due to encroachment from both goalkeepers, but after Elliot Morsia (scoring his retake after blazing over his initial effort), captain Adam Hewitt (who was sent off after scoring for mooning the Royal Holloway fans) and Solie all scored their penalties the shoot-out went to sudden death at 3-3.

Omar took the 11th penalty but it was saved to the keeper’s left and Royal Holloway kept their nerve to convert theirs and win the cup final.

Nick Wright, who had a great game at right-back, was “gutted” to lose due to some odd refereeing but was proud of the team’s performance: “It was frustrating as it was a game we could, and probably should, have won. The decisions by the referee played a massive part in the result.

“It was a pretty even match overall, and both teams had the same referee, but we’ve got a reason to be proud as we battled well.”

QSPORT

Questionable decisions cost football 2s cup Nick Wright & Sam Cunningham Men’s football QM 2s 1 - 1 Royal Holloway 3s (RH win 4-3 on penalties) QUEEN MARY men’s twos were defeated on penalties in the University of London Reserve cup final by Royal Holloway threes after a number of questionable decisions by referee Ken Halse during the game and the penalty shoot-out.

Omar Sroya missed the decisive sudden death penalty that cost Queen Mary the cup, but that was after eight penalties had to be re-

taken during the shoot-out – one due to goalkeeper James Barker celebrating too overzealously after making a save.

Centre-back Ahsan Sultan put Queen Mary in front in the 35th minute when he latched on to Hassan Shurmahi’s cross from a freekick on the right and flicked it in at the near post – a carbon copy of his goal in the semi final against LSE. But Royal Holloway drew level in the second half due to another bizarre refereeing decision.

An indirect freekick was awarded in Queen Mary’s penalty area apparently for defender Sam Solie swearing. After a heated exchange between the two teams, Royal Hol-

Bringing you all the latest fixtures and results from the QM Sports teams Sports Editor: Darren McGuinness sports@qmessenger.co.uk Sub Editor: Rebecca Ngakane proofing@qmessenger.co.uk 23rd March ‘10 • Issue 23 • FREE

Nail-biting stuff!

Continued page 15...

Men’s hockey are crowned BUCs league 4b champions after two nail-biting wins against Imperial Medic 2s and CCC 2s, p15