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Writers: Emily Bashforth, Joe Killian, L’Monique King, David Aaron Moore, Greg Owen, Cristal Robinson, Chris Rudisill, Molly Sprayregen, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Gregg Shapiro, Jim Yarbrough
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10 Museums in Uptown Charlotte profile revolutionary Men of Change
12 Black mental health matters
4 Transgender youth face uncertain future as legislation targets their identities
6 Virginia Senate moves to repeal state’s same-sex marriage ban
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Former SC Governor Nikki Haley showed compassion for South Carolina’s LGBTQ community in years past. Will the GOP member stick to her convictions as she plans run for prez?
PAGE 9
6 New study finds masculine men discriminate against feminine men
7 North Carolina is one of the lowest rated states in the country for LGBTQ equality
8 US declares end to monkeypox emergency
9 Nikki Haley says she’ll of ficially announce a presidential bid in February
11 Charlotte Black Pride hosts Heart of the Community Awards
Latest novel from award winning and gay NC native De’Shawn Charles Winslow explores a triple homicide in small town North Carolina. Winslow talks about growing up in Elizabeth City.
PAGE 18
16 Seven LGBTQ+ TikTok creators that are well worth a follow
17 Out in Print: “Choosing Family: A Memoir of Queer Motherhood and Black Resistance” 18 Thrills and chills in West Mills: an interview with De’Shawn Charles Winslow
19 Our People: Milton Howard
14 Legal Eagles: What a difference a year makes: a legal look back at 2022
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In many ways, Alex Lounsbury has been lucky. He knows that.
Now in his senior year at Atkins High School, a technology magnet in WinstonSalem, he’s happy, healthy and looking toward the future. But it wasn’t easy getting there.
Assigned female at birth, Alex knew he was transgender by the time he was in middle school. But he wasn’t ready to talk about it with parents, teachers and all of his friends right away. When he did come out to his family, they were supportive.
“They just wanted me to be healthy and happy,” Lounsbury told Policy Watch this week. “I know a lot of people don’t have that from their parents. I wish everyone did. They wanted me to be myself and be who I really am.”
For Lounsbury and his family, that meant transitioning. First socially: telling friends, family, teachers and administrators he was changing his name and his gender pronouns. Nobody was ready for it, he said. The school had never encountered a transgender student.
“There was bullying, even assault,” he said. “But my parents supported me. We sat down with teachers, the principal. It just took time and persistence.”
At 16, he and his family began talking with doctors about hormone replacement
and pronouns. That’s really helpful. There’s more of an understanding.”
But under two new bills moving through the North Carolina General Assembly, that could all radically change.
Senate Bill 49 would, among other provisions, require teachers to notify parents if a student questions their own gender — outing many young trans people before they’re ready to tell their families, who might be hostile to their identities.
House Bill 43 would make it illegal for anyone under 18 to receive the sort of gender-affirming care Lounsbury did.
Lounsbury can’t help thinking of how much more difficult his life would have been under laws such as these.
“This would have been my nightmare,” he said. “Being outed, not being able to speak my truth about who I really am in my own time, when I decided to. And to not be able to make a decision with my family and my doctors. I don’t see why it’s anybody else’s place to say, why they belong in that conversation.”
For Lounsbury and many transgender youth, the two bills offer a perplexing insight into what Republican lawmakers believe to be the place of government in family and medical decisions.
one overarching belief, Lounsbury said: the assumption that being transgender is dangerous, something to protect children against even if their families and doctors don’t share that view.
“What they’re saying is the parents should have these conversations and make these decisions — unless they support you,” Lounsbury said. “Then the government just makes the decision it wants them to. It’s only the parents who are against it whose rights matter.”
After years of advocacy, transgender North Carolinians have finally made progress, securing hard-won legal victories about their rights to gender-affirming health care coverage and the right to change their gender marker on government documents.
But now they are facing a backlash. More than 200 anti-LGBTQ bills have been filed across the country already this year. Republicans who picked up seats in state houses are pushing through legislation and will likely use it to campaign on in the next election cycle.
For State Rep. Marcia Morey (D-Durham), the attacks on LGBTQ people aren’t new. One of the General Assembly’s few out LGBTQ legislators, she’s spent years promoting bills that would offer greater protections for these marginalized communities. Under a Republican majority, those bills can’t even get a hearing.
With these new bills aimed at gender identity, Morey said, GOP lawmakers are sending a very clear message.
“The damage that we’re doing by introducing these bills is that it communicates to certain young people that something is fundamentally wrong with them,” Morey said. “They’re watching, they’re listening. They’re paying attention as we’re trying to legislate their identities at a very tender time.”
This week State Rep. Vernetta Alston (D-Durham), another out legislator, sponsored a competing House bill she said will account for the rights of both parents and students — including families like hers.
Alston and her wife are also parents, she said in a press conference Tuesday. LGBTQ students and their families need to be acknowledged when lawmakers legislate gender identity and sexuality.
“Like so many parents, my number one priority in life is the health, safety and well-being of my children,” Alston said. “Instead, my Senate colleagues are debating bills like Senate Bill 49 … a bill that will harm our students, especially our LGBTQ students who will only be more vulnerable and more isolated at school if Senate Bill 49 passes.”
A Department of Health and Human Services report shows a 46% increase in North Carolina youth reporting a depressive episode since the COVID-19 pandemic
therapy to begin a physical transition. In a few months, he’ll take the next step — a “top surgery” to remove his breasts, which he’s been working toward slowly and deliberately for years. At every step, with the backing of his family and the knowledge and advice of his doctors, he’s felt more at home and at peace in his own body.
As he moves toward graduation this year, he’s happy the environment has changed for young trans people since he came out.
“It’s just something people understand a little better now, they know about it more,” Lounsbury said. “Teachers hand out introductory cards at the beginning of the year, asking about preferred names
Under SB49, the so-called “Parents’ Bill of Rights,” the place of parents is paramount in any discussion of gender, sexuality and identity. Its sponsors argue the government — in this case, through teachers and school administrators — has no place in conversations about a young person’s gender identity without them.
But under HB43 parents like Lounsbury’s, who support their transgender children and follow the standard of care prescribed by doctors and myriad medical associations, would see the government intervene to prevent any steps toward transition until they are 18.
These contradictory ideas about family versus government seem to be bridged by
The certainty of a veto from Gov. Roy Cooper, a Democrat, kept Republican leaders in the North Carolina General Assembly from even bringing some anti-LGBTQ bills to a vote in the last legislative session. But with gains in the last election, Republicans again have the votes to override a veto in the Senate and need the support or absence of just one Democrat in the House to override it in that chamber.
That new legislative math makes bills codifying the most conservative view of gender identity a real possibility, despite the objections of LGBTQ families and the mainstream medical community.
“It doesn’t feel like a step back, it feels like a couple of hundred steps back,” Lounsbury said. “It’s completely and utterly terrifying to know that just being myself is possibly going to become illegal in some ways.”
began nearly three years ago. One in five high school students seriously contemplated suicide last year, according to the report. For LGBTQ students, that number is one in two.
Medical experts point to years of studies that show legislation targeting LGBTQ
youth, particularly in schools where many find support they lack at home, contributes to a rise in depression and suicidal ideation. On Wednesday a panel of doctors from Duke University who study the issue and treat LGBTQ young people spoke out against the bills now moving through the legislature.
“There is a high likelihood both these bills … would have reverberating impacts on the health of LGBTQ+ children and adults throughout North Carolina,” Dr. Sarah Wilson, assistant professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences and co-lead of the Duke Sexual and Gender Minority Health Program.
That’s clear when studying the aftermath of HB2, Wilson said. The 2016 law excluded lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people from statewide nondiscrimination protections. That legislation caused a national firestorm, with protests and boycotts leading to a partial repeal.
For LGBTQ people who lived through having their identities and rights debated and assailed daily throughout that contro-
reverberating effects throughout people’s lives. We saw people delaying health care because of these bills because there was a concern over general attitudes towards transgender and non-binary folks.”
Limiting what students can hear, read and say about gender identity in their schools is particularly dangerous, Wilson said, as LGBTQ youth often find badly needed support and community there.
“We know the majority of LGBTQ+ youth report their home is not LGBTQ+ affirming — three in five,” Wilson said. “The rates are actually a little bit higher for schools. There are more LGBTQ+ who report their school is an affirming place than report their home is an affirming place.”
“Youth and adults turn to friends, teachers, other people in the community to be able to gain that acceptance and willingness to support the person regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity,” Wilson said.
versy, the effects were devastating. Wilson pointed to a two-year study in HB2’s wake, highlighting a number of alarming trends.
“In North Carolina after HB2 … we saw gender identity-motivated hate crimes actually increased in the state,” Wilson said. “So there can be these larger cultural effects of the legislation that can adversely affect LBTBQ+ individuals by normalizing stigma. Where there is stigma, oftentimes there is increased violence.”
During the HB2 controversy and its aftermath, state lawmakers promoted right-wing groups that opposed samesex marriage while rejecting the medical mainstream conclusions of the American Medical Association, American Psychiatric Association and American Academy of Pediatrics. That came at a cost, Wilson said.
“There are downstream effects of that increased exposure to stigma, violence and hate crimes where North Carolinians who are LGBTQ+ reported feeling increased depression and anxiety,” Wilson said. “This is a group that already faces disproportionate rates of discrimination, harassment, stigma, and these bills serve to potentially have an amplifying effect for these inequities we already see.”
Transgender people — especially youth and people of color — suffered the greatest negative impact.
“Suicidal ideation increased among transgender and gender non-conforming North Carolinians, and hate crimes increased,” Wilson said. “Depression and anxiety among transgender North Carolinians also increased. We saw these
Sponsors of these bills see that as the problem. “Parents do not surrender their children to government schools for indoctrination opposed to the family’s values,” said Sen. Amy Galey, an Alamance County Republican and one of SB49’s main sponsors, said during a press conference last week.
That view was amplified in a Senate Rules committee meeting this week, where members of the conservative group Moms for Liberty made clear the religious motivations of the bill’s supporters.
“It seems that it would be extreme emotional abuse by the system to allow a child to believe and grow into something that is against the definition given by the Bible of truth and God’s word as far as their sexuality,” said Nicholas Jaroszynski, a board member of Moms for Liberty of Iredell County.
“To allow the state to define that is even further of an abomination,” Jaroszynski said.
The view that acceptance and support for LGBTQ students amounts to indoctrination is problematic and scientifically unfounded, said Dr. Dane Whicker, a clinical health psychologist at Duke Health who provides therapy for LGBTQ+ adolescents and adults.
Decades of scientific research doesn’t support the political narrative that young people become LGBTQ because of outside influence, Whicker said, while volumes of research demonstrate that trying to prevent LGBTQ people from embracing their identities is harmful.
“There are no interventions or practices that can stop youth from having LGBTQ+
identities,” Whicker said. “In reality these types of bills, the impact they’re going to have, is on concealment – people hiding really important parts of their identity and depriving them of the support they need to navigate those really critical pieces that affect their health and trajectory in life.”
“New Territory for a Lot of People”
Dr. Deanna Adkins, a pediatric endocrinologist at Duke Health and director of the Child and Adolescent Gender Care Clinic, has spent years working with hundreds of transgender patients.
The debate around gender affirming care has unfortunately strayed far from the realities of how doctors like her actually work with families and young transgender people, she said this week.
“Gender-affirming care is life saving care with decades of research behind it,” Adkins said. “You wouldn’t ask me to not practice the standard of care for any other care I give. You wouldn’t ask me to not do what the American Diabetes Association says I should do for my patients with diabetes.”
Current discussions don’t reflect the reality of the care, nor the risks of suddenly making it out of reach, Adkins said.
“This is a group of individuals, a small portion of the population, only about 3% of those under 18,” Adkins said. “And they are a quite vulnerable population. It would limit their access to potentially life-saving treatments that we have excellent evidence within the medical literature that this helps these patients in many ways. It decreases their suicidality, it improves their overall mental health, it decreases self-harm as well.”
For Sage, a 13-year old non-binary person from Greensboro, gender-affirming care of the type Adkins describes has been life saving — as has been the support of their family.
Because Sage and their family have experienced harassment and threats during Sage’s transition, Policy Watch has agreed to identify them by their first name.
After consultation with doctors, Sage and their family chose to use puberty blockers for about two years to delay its onset. The extra time allowed Sage to more consciously work through their gender identity and the steps they wanted to take to prevent gender dysphoria — the distress that comes from a misalignment of one’s body and gender identity.
The process was simple, safe and reversible, Sage and their family said. “I had a lot of questions, of course,” said Sage’s mother, Debra. “This is new territory for a lot of people, us included at that time. We
talked a lot with the doctors about what could be done, possible side effects, steps for the future. Ultimately, we weighed this treatment against the dangers of our child not wanting to live in their body, and we made the decision that would make them healthy and happy. And they are.”
Legislation could soon prevent other young transgender people from having the same experience. That’s something Sage, still on their journey of transition, thinks about a lot. They’ve stopped puberty blockers and are weighing next steps, such as hormone therapy or eventually, surgery.
But having those options taken off the table by people outside the circle of their family and their doctors feels wrong. “It’s really scary to me that the things that have been available to me might not be, and that could happen in a matter of weeks,” Sage said.
Adkins said she is hearing that concern from patients and their families daily. Without access to safe gender-affirming care, she said, there’s a danger some will turn to black market medications and treatments that aren’t safe and tested, out of desperation.
That’s not something their family will do, Sage’s mother Debra said. But they will take their child out of state for treatment if needed, she said, or even consider moving if it becomes necessary.
“This isn’t something that the government should be involved in, when a person and their family and their doctor make the decisions that are best for them,” Sage said. “Having freedom in this country, including freedom of religion, also means having freedom from having someone else’s religion used against you.”
Sage’s mother, Debra, said she’s proud her child felt supported enough to speak
openly with her and her husband about their gender identity — and proud that their family has navigated this journey with love.
That’s not the story every LGBTQ person has, she said. Some face physical violence or abandonment by their families. Others face so-called “conversion therapy” — a scientifically debunked and harmful practice North Carolina has yet to ban.
“We need to be doing everything we can to make this easier for our kids, not harder,” Debra said. “For every kid who isn’t lucky enough to have the full support of their family, who doesn’t have access to the care they should, we shouldn’t be making this harder.”
This story appears courtesy of our media partner NC Policy Watch. ::
The Virginia Senate has approved a resolution seeking to repeal an amendment in the state constitution prohibiting same-sex marriage. The resolution – introduced by out gay state Sen. Adam Ebbin (D) – passed in a 25-14 bipartisan vote Feb. 6.
“SJ 242, my proposed constitutional amendment to repeal the defunct samesex marriage ban, has passed the Senate on a bipartisan vote of 25-14,” Ebbin tweeted. “It is time our constitution reflects the law of the land and the values of our society.”
Last month, the state senate also voted to pass a separate bill proposed by Ebbin to explicitly make same-sex marriage legal.
The Marshall-Newman Amendment
defining marriage as between one man and one woman has been part of the state constitution since 2006, and many are worried that if the Supreme Court overturns federal marriage equality, LGBTQ+ Virginians could lose their right to marry.
For an amendment to the state constitution to pass, it must be approved in two consecutive sessions by both chambers of the General Assembly and then voted on by the people. A 2022 attempt failed after a bill after the House of Delegates voted to reject it, despite it passing in the state senate.
On Monday, Virginia’s U.S. Senators Tim Kaine (D) and Mark Warner (D) wrote a letter to the leaders of both chambers, urging them to protect same-sex marriage.
According to a new study from the University of Sydney, both heterosexual men and gay men discriminate against gay men with feminine characteristics.
The study, conducted by gender and sexuality researcher Ben Gerrard at the university’s School of Psychology found gay and straight men prefer masculine over feminine gay men for a high-status role, an indication feminine gay men may face implicit discrimination in the workplace.
Gerrard says it’s the first study of its kind.
“Gay men are potentially blocking each other from positions of power and leadership due to this implicit bias,” Gerrard explained to the University of Sydney news site. “Men are still expected to conform to more traditional masculine styles of leadership, and if they fail to sufficiently project masculine traits, they are at risk of status penalties. This is an example of internalized homophobia among the gay community, and it impacts opportunities for these gay men.”
The study was published in the peerreviewed journal Sex Roles.
Gerrard’s research took the form of auditions for a faux TV campaign promoting tourism in Sydney. The ad aimed to sell Australia abroad, with a spokesman who could be viewed as a “leader” and someone to be “admired” by the audience.
A group of 256 gay and straight men were invited to watch casting videos and identify an actor who could fill the role. Gerrard cast six different men to play both feminine and masculine versions of actors auditioning for the spot.
The researcher defined feminine-presenting traits as a more feminine vocal quality, body language and posture. The actors, all gay men in real life, recited the same script.
Gerrard found that both groups of viewers preferred the more masculine candidate for the ad. Predictably, both straight men with higher reported “homonegativity” and gay men higher in reported misogyny showed a stronger preference for the “masculine” gay actor over the “feminine” gay actor.
The finding in favor of “straight-acting” gay men for high-status roles is disap-
“It is long past time that Virginia’s governing document conveys to same-sex marriages the same freedoms, rights, and responsibilities that are afforded to all other constitutional marriages,” the letter stated.
“We urge you to work with your colleagues to advance legislation for a referendum that would fully protect Virginia’s LGBTQ couples.”
The senators called the ban in the state constitution “shameful” and said the freedom to marry “is a sacred and
fundamental right in our society.”
This story appears courtesy our media partner LGBTQ Nation. :: https://bit.ly/3DY7flJ —Molly
pointing, says Gerrard, and evidence of a gay glass ceiling in the workplace.
“We operate in teams-based workplaces now where effective leadership qualities – warmth, empathy and good communication – are all considered feminine traits, and a more feminine-presenting gay man might be an ideal candidate for a leadership role,” Gerrard says. “And yet
we still value traditional masculinity at a senior leadership level as a measure of the capacity to lead, because traditional feminine traits are considered too soft or not authoritative enough.”
This story appears courtesy of our media partner LGBTQ Nation. :: https://bit.ly/3jLfeMt
—Greg OwenThe Human Rights Campaign (HRC) Foundation and the Equality Federation Institute released their Ninth annual State Equality Index (SEI). The SEI is a comprehensive state-by-state report that provides a review of statewide laws and policies that affect LGBTQ+ people and their families.
North Carolina falls into the category, “High Priority to Achieve Basic Equality.” States in this category have advocates focusing on raising support for basic LGBTQ equality, such as non-discrimination protections in employment, housing and public accommodations. These states are most likely to have religious refusal or other anti-LGBTQ laws. Advocates often further LGBTQ equality by focusing on municipal protections for LGBTQ people or opposing negative legislation that targets the LGBTQ community.
In a coordinated push led by national anti-LGBTQ groups, which deployed vintage discriminatory tropes, politicians in statehouses across the country introduced 315 discriminatory anti-LGBTQ bills in 2022 and 29 passed into law. Despite this, fewer than 10 percent of these efforts succeeded. Twenty-four pro-equality bills were also passed into law: These range in topic from making it easier to update drivers licenses and birth and death certificates with correct names and gender markers, to banning insurance exclusions for healthcare for transgender individuals and expanding non-discrimination protections in housing, employment and education. All ensure that LGBTQ people are able to take one step closer to full legal and lived equality.
Last year also marked the passage of the most anti-LGBTQ and anti-transgender legislation in recent history. During the final hours of their legislative session, Alabama lawmakers passed a sweeping package of discriminatory bills that contained a number of anti-LGBTQ measures, the worst of which criminalized parents for providing gender-affirming care for their transgender children, barred transgender children from using bathrooms and locker rooms that aligned with their gender identity, and censored classroom discussions on LGBTQ issues.
“The 2022 State Equality Index outlines how states across the country fought back against yet another record year of anti-LGBTQ+ legislative attacks. In the face of these attacks, legislators and advocates fought back, with fewer than 10% of the anti-LGBTQ+ discriminatory bills introduced passing into law,” said JoDee Winterhof, Human Rights Campaign Senior Vice President of Policy and Political Affairs. “These bills are terrible public policy, and we are also deeply cognizant of how every harmful anti-LGBTQ+ bill that is signed into law has a devastating impact on the lives and well-being of LGBTQ+ people, particularly children. The legislative assault and hateful rhetoric towards our community has also
By Qnotes Staffled to more stigma, discrimination and ultimately suicide and deadly violence –particularly against the transgender community. As we continue our fight for LGBTQ+ equality, this report underscores that equality is the winning side of this issue.”
The majority of the discriminatory bills – 149 bills – targeted the transgender and non-binary community, with the majority targeting children receiving the brunt of discriminatory legislation. Anti-transgender legislation took several forms, including 80 bills aimed to prevent transgender youth from playing school sports consistent with their gender identity and 42 bills to prevent transgender and non-binary youth from receiving life-saving, medically-necessary genderaffirming healthcare. By the end of the 2022 legislative session, a record 17 bills attacking transgender and non-binary children passed into law. Nineteen states exclude transgender athletes in school sports, and five states restrict access to gender-affirming healthcare.
Although members of the transgender and non-binary community were the primary targets of the discriminatory legislation, anti-LGBTQ bills took other forms as well. One of the most notable trends was a resurgence of curriculum censorship and “Don’t Say Gay” bills that turn back the clock and restrict teachers from discussing LGBTQ issues and other marginalized communities in their classrooms. Across the country 70 curriculum censorship bills were filed, and seven were passed into law.
The SEI’s assessment of statewide LGBTQ-related legislation and policies in the areas of parenting laws and policies, religious refusal and relationship recognition laws, non-discrimination laws and policies, hate crime and criminal justice laws, youth-related laws and policies and health and safety laws and policies has placed each state in one of four distinct categories based on the type of advocacy that takes place there:
Twenty states and the District of Columbia are in the highest-rated category, Working Toward Innovative Equality: California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, District of Columbia, Hawaii, Illinois, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, Rhode Island, Vermont, Virginia and
Washington.
Five states are in the category
Solidifying
Equality: Alaska, Iowa, Pennsylvania, Utah and Wisconsin.
Two states are in the category Building Equality: North Dakota and Kentucky.
Twentythree states are in the lowest-rated category, High Priority to Achieve Basic Equality: Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Kansas, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, West Virginia and Wyoming.
HRC Foundation’s full State Equality Index report, including detailed scorecards for every state, and a preview of the 2023 state legislative session is available online. ::
On Jan. 31, the U.S. government quietly declared that the monkeypox emergency is over.
The official monkeypox public health emergency, now alternately referred to as mpox, was declared in August 2022 and renewed once in November. The first cases of the disease were reported in May of last year.
“From the outset of the mpox outbreak, the Biden-Harris Administration – working through HHS and many of its agencies – pulled every lever to stop the spread of this virus,” a Department of Health and Human Services spokesperson said in a statement.
“Given the low number of cases today, HHS did not renew the emergency declaration.”
The latest data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) shows the seven-day average for monkeypox is three cases, a dramatic drop from the August peak of 400 cases per day. More than 30,000 infections and 26 deaths were reported in the U.S. over the course of the outbreak.
The response and outcome was a victory for public health agencies, LGBTQ+ advocacy groups and the public at large.
“We commend the thousands of gay and bisexual men who advocated for themselves, fought hard to get vaccinated and treatment for mpox, and took other
steps to reduce transmission of mpox,” said Sean Cahill, director of health policy research at the LGBTQ+ health advocacy organization the Fenway Institute.
“We also commend health care providers and public health officials at the local, state and federal level who worked hard to end this outbreak.”
The understated end to the government’s emergency response was in stark contrast to the early days of the monkeypox outbreak.
The first cases detected outside endemic African countries were reported
in Europe in May. By June, monkeypox had reached North America, with cases reported in both the U.S. and Canada. Controversy surrounding the means of transmission and the populations most at-risk were soon making headlines.
“Lessons from the AIDS response show that stigma and blame directed at certain groups of people can rapidly undermine outbreak response,” UNAIDS said at the time.
Throughout the summer, far-right groups used monkeypox as a cudgel in their continuing assault on the LGBTQ+ community, with calls for quarantines and assaults targeting gay men believed to be harboring monkeypox.
The reinstalled Taliban government in Afghanistan used monkeypox as an excuse to persecute the LGBTQ+ community, while anti-LGBTQ+ U.S. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) simultaneously called monkeypox just “another scam” like COVID-19 and blamed gay men for spreading the disease to children.
The U.S. government and public health agencies came under fire as well for a stumbling response to the outbreak. While an effective vaccine related to the smallpox virus was already stockpiled, information on where and when to get vaccinated was hard to come by. Poor distribution protocols forced gay men in the U.S. to travel to Canada for monkeypox protection.
At the beginning of August, the Biden administration announced a course
correction with a new task force including FEMA logistics expert Robert Fenton and the director of the CDC’s Division of HIV and AIDS Research Dr. Demetre Daskalakis, an out gay man who became the face of the White House response.
In an interview with LGBTQ Nation, Dasklakis described the new strategy to combat monkeypox, “a three-part trick that always works in addressing outbreaks and epidemics: community engagement, science and political will.”
By October, the results were clear: Since a peak in August, the number of reported daily cases of the monkeypox virus had declined 85 percent.
“The strategy worked,” Daskalakis told LGBTQ Nation at the time. “I think that the really frank, direct information that we generated through governmental public health, and then saw the community alter, magnify and contextualize, got out,” he said. “Seeing people who reduced their behaviors that could potentially expose them to mpox was definitely a part of this.”
Looking ahead, public health officials are keeping several key findings in mind as they continue to monitor monkeypox.
Almost 40 percent of cases in the U.S. were diagnosed in people who also carried HIV, so the CDC is advocating to make monkeypox vaccination a regular part of HIV and STI care and at clinics that offer PrEP.
Officials are also keeping an eye on the weather. The CDC found men who have sex with men (MSM) reduced their partners at the height of the outbreak in August by half, contributing to the virus’s decline to the small numbers seen today. Officials are waiting to see if warmer weather and more contact among the MSM community alters that trajectory.
Finally, officials are keeping an eye on asymptomatic transmission. Researchers at a clinic in Belgium re-screened hundreds of STI tests from May and discovered positive monkeypox cases that went undiagnosed. Three patients showed no symptoms of the disease, indicating monkeypox could be carried and transmitted by individuals without ever knowing they had it.
This article appears courtesy of our media partner LGBTQNation. ::
Former South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley has confirmed that she will officially announce her plans to run for the Republican nomination for president. That’s expected to take place in Charleston, S.C., Feb. 15.
In April of 2016 when questioned about the possibility of South Carolina passing a bill to block restroom access for transgender individuals, Haley condemned the bill, saying it was completely unnecessary.
“I don’t believe it’s necessary. There’s not one instance that I’m aware of when we look at our situation we’re hearing of anybody’s religious liberties being violated. And we’re not hearing any citizens that are being violated in terms of freedoms. Like it or not, South Carolina is doing really well when it comes to respect and when it comes to kindness and when it comes to acceptance. Faithful to apply it’s not, I beg to differ. While other states are having this battle, this is not a battle that we’ve seen as needed in South Carolina,” Haley said, “and it’s not something that we see the citizens are asking for in South Carolina.”
Keeping in mind the state of mind of the Republican Party in April 2016, as opposed to February 2024, may show us an unwelcome impact on Haley’s attitude towards the LGBTQ community if she expects to capture support from the party’s far-right evangelical base.
Haley has a confusing political past. Earlier in her career, even though she was a confirmed Republican, she was a resolute Trump critic. As with most Republican party members, it doesn’t take long to go from critic to ring kisser.
Trump, who has already announced he will be running for president again, appears to be gearing up his expected volley of verbal assaults on anyone who would oppose him in the Republican Party battle for the nomination. Haley has already experienced some of Trump’s standard rhetoric.
Haley was born Nimrata Randhawa, the daughter of Punjabi Indian immigrants who came to the United States and opened what became a successful gift and clothing business called Exotica International.
After serving two terms as governor in South Carolina, Haley later became the US Ambassador to the United Nations during the Trump administration. Appointed in January 2017, she surprisingly stepped
down from the position in December 2018, raising eyebrows about her deteriorating relationship with Trump.
While she made no comments on the matter, she did later criticize Trump for his words in response to the Jan. 6, 2021, capitol riot, along with other significant actions and statements made while he was in office.
“He was wrong with his words in Charlottesville,” said Haley. “I told him so at the time. He was wrong with his words [during the capitol riot]. And it wasn’t just his words. His actions and since election day will be judged harshly by history.”
During an interview with Politico magazine in February 2021, she said that she was disgusted by the way Trump behaved towards former vice president Mike Pence during the capital riot and went a decisive step further, announcing that the possibility of the former president running for office again in the future was something that wouldn’t happen.
“We need to acknowledge that he let us down,” she told Politico. “He went down a path he shouldn’t have, and we shouldn’t have followed him, and we shouldn’t have listened to him. And we can’t ever let that happen again.”
Haley: ‘It’s time for a new generation ... and it’s time to take our country back.’ CREDIT: Facebook
While the possibility of Nikki Haley as a potential president of the United States may lead to less partisanship and the possibility of accomplishing more for the country than previous Republicans who held the office, it remains to be seen whether or not she can actually capture the nomination.
According to the most recent polls, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is leading the race for the Republican nomination for president, Trump is coming in at second place and Haley following behind and third with just four percent of Republican support. It is still very early in the game, however, and much can happen between now and the Republican primary. ::
The former two-term SC governor has shown support for the LGBTQ community and spoken out against Trump
Men of Change explores our past through the history of Black men in our nation and the artistry of contemporaries today. It showcases the revolutionary and iconic – some famous and some less well-known. Stunning photography and inspirational quotes are paired with bold contemporary art.
Twenty-seven men are spotlighted as Men of Change, but an additional 60 are reflected through images and quotes. Even more are represented by name within the exhibition, as the creators at the Smithsonian say, “To exemplify that no man is an island – all have found inspiration from their community and those who have come before them.”
Planning for the traveling exhibition started within the Smithsonian in 2016, following the success of a national exhibition tour, Freedom’s Sisters, which paid homage to the African American women who shaped civil rights in America. Since 2019, it has awed audiences in seven cities across the U.S. and is scheduled to move to the Birmingham Civil Rights Institute after its stint in Charlotte.
According to the Smithsonian, artists were paired with one of the “Men of Change” in the exhibit and invited to create an original work of art that would accentuate each of the men’s individual legacies while examining broader themes of masculinity, Black identity, community tradition and more.
Here’s a quick overview of the queer men featured in the exhibition.
Paul Robeson was a bass-baritone concert artist, actor, professional football player and political activist. Robeson gained celebrity by starring in several films and Broadway productions and his voice has
been characterized as one of the best of his generation. His social activism made him a target of the McCarthy era witch hunts and he fought for justice and equality until his death in 1976. In addition to marriages and affairs with a number of women, Robeson was reported to have had an affair with American composer Marc Blitzstein, who was murdered because he was gay in 1964.
James Baldwin is one of the most acclaimed writers in American history whose work included essays, novels, plays and poetry. His unshakable writing on the politics of race continues to be important reading today, and he never shied away from his sexual identity. From an early age, Baldwin had relationships with other men and wrote openly about them. Baldwin died in France in 1987 at the age of 63.
Bayard Rustin was one of the founders of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference and worked with Martin Luther
King, Jr. to bring about the boycott of Montgomery’s segregated buses in 1956. Rustin was openly gay and refused to hide who he was while he continued to fight on the front lines of the civil rights movement. He was instrumental in organizing the March on Washington in 1963. Rustin died in 1987. He was 75.
Alvin Ailey was a dancer, director, choreographer and activist who famously combined personal experiences of growing up in Texas and American Black culture with modern dance and ballet. He founded the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater based in New York City in 1958. He died from an AIDS-related illness in 1989 at the age of 58. His dance company continues to perform with its most recent season having three world premieres and the company includes dance training, education, community programs and an extension program in Atlanta.
Kehinde Wiley, a portrait painter, is most widely known for his painting of President Barack Obama from 2017. With this painting, Wiley became the first openly gay artist to paint a U.S. president’s official portrait. According to Gay Times, the New York artist has built a career on featuring Black men and women using a classical European style and has been commissioned by celebrities including Michael Jackson, LL Cool J, Big Daddy Kane and Ice T.
Other LGBTQ people are included in the exhibition, including playwright Lorraine Hansberry, one of the few women whose quote (below) is used to exemplify the importance of the story of African American identity in America.
“Write if you will: but write about the world as it is and as you think it ought to be … Write about our people: tell their story. You have something glorious to draw on, begging for attention.” Lorraine Hansberry, To Be Young, Gifted, and Black, 1969.
“Men of Change boldly tells the narrative of our nation through the stories of revolutionary, iconic African American men,” according to the Smithsonian. “The
exhibition examines how each, in their own way and from a variety of disciplines, used inspiration from those before them to take charge of their own identity and not be held back by stereotypes and societal barriers of their times.”
In both locations, the exhibition also spotlights local “Men of Change.” At the Levine Museum gallery, guests are invited to answer “Who are Charlotte’s Men of Change?” by adding names using post-it notes to a wall at the end of the exhibition and both locations honor local Black leaders for their work as businessmen, teachers, political and justice activists, coaches and visionaries. Original works of art commissioned by local creatives accompany each of the featured men, “providing new layers of interpretation and symbolism for considering the powerful legacies.”
The exhibition is split between two locations in uptown Charlotte: the Harvey B. Gantt Center for African-American Arts + Culture at 551 S. Tryon Street and the (newer) Levine Museum of the New South gallery space a block away at Three Wells Fargo Center. You can start at either location, but I
would suggest starting at Levine for the best narrative journey through exhibit themes.
The exhibit includes seven themes: catalysts, myth-breakers and community at Levine Museum; and storytellers, fathering and imagining at The Gantt. Both museums display elements of the loving theme. Admission is free at both locations.
According to websites hours vary, so check ganttcenter.org and museumofthenewsouth.org for the most up-to-date times. Both museums are closed on Mondays. You can download the Gallery Guide at www.ganttcenter.org/exhibitions/menof-change/ . ::
by Jim Yarborough
On Saturday, February 11, Charlotte Black Pride and Jermaine Nakia Lee presented the 2023 Heart of the Community Awards at Cornelius Park Center overlooking the skyline of uptown Charlotte. The event included a catered lunch and complimentary wine and mimosas with approximately fifty supporters of
Channel 9 News Anchor Erica Bryant and Mr. Charlotte Black Pride 2022, D. Black Ken, who kept the audience entertained with multiple output changes designed by Tevin Baskerville, a local fashion designer. Three individuals were honored, with each honoree the recipient of an award and a live performance art piece.
The first award was given to Charlotte City Council District One Representative Dante Anderson. She was honored with
Charlotte Black pride in attendance. The festivities were hosted by WSOC-TV
a presentation by Poet: GraceLynn Avion Jae’El, who performed a spoken word piece in honor of Anderson.
The next award was presented to Crem Morris-Frazier, the owner of Q Fitness and Wellness. She was honored with a performance by Cierra Desiree Nichole Land with Katy Perry’s song “Roar”.
The final award of the event was presented to Justine Lindsay, the first openly transgender woman cheerleader in the NFL. Lindsay is a member of the Carolina Panthers cheerleaders known as the
Panthers Topcats. She was honored with an original ballet piece by Aaron Atkins of Ballet Ink.::
As self care messages and memes take over our phones, laptops and consciousness, mental health is trending. It’s true. If you haven’t already noticed, it’s almost impossible to scroll through social media these days without an advertisement for therapy popping up – and thank goodness.
We’re living in stressful times. For some of us, mental health and access to mental health services is finally becoming a reality that’s not as scary or stigmatizing as it was in years past. For many in the Black community and particularly the Black LGBTQ community, this is a huge leap in the right direction.
Tons of baggage comes along with the views and treatment surrounding mental health in America. Historically, sexism, racism and stigma has prevented people from receiving competent and humane care. Fortunately, that was the past –mostly. The mental health profession has evolved past the days of lobotomies, ice baths and overused and unregulated ECT (electroconvulsive therapy).
Today, in an attempt to reduce stigma and more accurately diagnose and treat those suffering with a myriad of mental health conditions and disorders – language, along with treatment, has evolved. We no longer refer to people as crazy, retarded, shell shocked or sick in the head. Though the United States still lags behind in how we care for our most vulnerable populations, science has propelled us to look more deeply at causes and connections while finding more suitable characterizations.
Now more than ever, with the stress of the disproportionate deaths of Black trans women, the COVID-19 pandemic (we’re still trying to recover from), a sweeping housing crisis and social justice issues polarized by the deaths of Black folks like Tyre Nichols (at the hands of Memphis law enforcement), you’d think everyone able would be flocking to the couches of mental health professionals.
But that’s not the case. How race intersects with gender and orientation impacts the lives of BIPOC communities is enough in itself to prompt many to seek a Xanax prescription instead of a relationship with a therapist.
So why are Black Americans (including the Black LGBTQ community) still resistant to seek help from others? A culture that reinforces stigma, along with lack of access seem to be the most prominent driving factors. It is these very issues that numerous ad campaigns and public health advocates are working toward reversing.
With the use of diverse representation, lived experiences and the convenience of telehealth platforms – attempts at normalizing the idea of seeking mental health services for LGBTQ BIPOC communities
are being made. For greater clarity on the issue, we spoke with a mental health advocate and a few local professionals.
Reia Chapman, MSW, LCSW is a Charlotte area therapist with her own practice. At The Center for Family and Maternal Wellness, PLLC, Chapman counsels a variety of clients and can be found guest lecturing on Decolonizing Therapy; a global movement that is radically reimagining the old mental health paradigm. With a focus on assisting clients in healing from past traumas, honoring their history, cultivating liberation and harvesting joy, Chapman works with clients who have not always been treated with a culturally informed lens. “It is not a framework for just Queer people of color, but it is for systematically excluded populations at various intersections of their identities. So, when we talk about decolonization, we’re talking about how people have been systematically excluded from access and advancement.
“There is a difference between access and availability,” Chapman continued. “People often conflate those things because you can now go online for therapy and many community centers now offer therapy. But when you add the layers of access, privilege and class you realize that it’s still not equitable for everyone.
“Some of that doesn’t have to do with orientation, but class. In North Carolina we live in a state where people can still be discriminated against based on gender identity and/or sexual orientation. These
individuals may not have employment that provides health insurance [to] offer that access. People who are gender diverse often work lower paying jobs and gig work. Many of those who make it to America’s corporate arena are often white and male presenting. There are those of us who work for big firms like Bank of America, but that’s not the norm for the majority.”
When reflecting how trauma over the loss of Black life from police violence is processed, Chapman confirmed that she’s worried.
“About desensitization,” she explains. “As much as I worry about our trauma response when things like the murder of Tyre Nichols occur. Unfortunately, it’s become part of our social fabric that when these things occur, there’s been a script developed that takes a lot of physical, emotional and psychological labor to organize around the murder of one body. People who can get their voices heard are the ones most likely to be seen – everyone doesn’t have the know-how or the connections to do that. Not having those connections creates a pathway of anger, internalized despair, hopelessness and self-destructive behaviors.”
In conclusion, Chapman offered suggestions to help deal with and heal from such instances. “Just because you haven’t been acknowledged doesn’t mean what you’ve gone through isn’t real or didn’t happen. You deserve to have your pain acknowledged by the world and it shouldn’t take local government to respond to injus-
tice. Finding a community to validate your experience has value. Connect with people who can support you. That might be finding culturally appropriate care, finding a clergy person and finding a way to mobilize your pain. It’s okay to grieve – give yourself permission to be stunned, stuck or grief stricken. That is just as important as figuring out what to do next.”
When John Rowell, Jr. a Black gay man from Durham, N.C., faced pain and internal strife in his own life, he knew what he needed to do. Rowell advocates for seeking healing through therapy.
Says Rowell: “Mental health means having your heart and mind connected as one and being able to clearly understand how your body and mind are feeling. It also means not always second guessing what’s going on and what you might need and want as far as healing, your boundaries and the people you surround yourself with.”
Rowell is a public health worker, and he’s enthusiastic about the benefits of counseling. “I love therapy. It is a process. Finding the right therapist and knowing when you’re ready is the most important piece. You’ve got to be open and prepared. Therapy is life changing. So there’s a conscious step needed; you have to understand generational curses, the pain, sadness, whatever brought you to therapy. You have to be ready to push all that away and behind you and [begin] anew.”
Despite his enthusiasm, Rowell also talked about the frustration often felt when seeking a therapist to mesh with in a beneficial manner. “I’m working on my [latest] therapist out of four attempts. My first wasn’t very affirming. I was newly out, trying to find a sense of identity, and he didn’t make me feel comfortable. [Another] made me feel like she was just after my money, so I left her, too. This time, I felt like I needed to find my own and not one that was recommended or given to me, and it is working.”
Rowell explained how he found the therapist he’s happy with. “While attending a PrEP appointment I spoke with my PrEP Navigator and disclosed that I needed a therapist. I chose a woman because outside of my dad I’ve found that most men are not in touch with their emotions enough for me.”
For those still on the quest to find the ideal therapist, he offered, “When you find the right therapist you know because everything flows and you’re having feelings of I never thought about it like this.” He concluded that with a good therapist, “You learn how to reframe your life. It might get a little lonely and even scary. But remember, the people that are meant to be in your life will be there and accept that you’re changing because you’re trying to better yourself.”
See Mental Health on page 15
The “Parents’ Bill of Rights,” North Carolina’s answer to Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” would actively discriminate against the LGBTQ+ community across the country. The most alarming thing about it? It targets transgender and gender-expansive children.
Hey, Y’all.
I read a startling statistic this morning. Since January of this year, over 120 pieces of legislation targeting the LGBTQ+ community have been proposed across the country; many of them specifically focusing on transgender and gender-expansive youth. Here in North Carolina, legislators recently introduced Senate Bill 49, an updated version of last year’s House Bill 775.
It’s only February and I’m already exhausted.
I started my professional career in classrooms, and I always considered creating a safe environment where my students could thrive to be my top priority. SB 49 would make it incredibly difficult for teachers and other school staff in our state to just that.
Like HB 775, this copycat of Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” law would prevent teachers from mentioning the existence of the LGBTQ+ community in kindergarten classrooms all the way up through fourth grade because it is not considered “age-appropriate.” It would mandate the forcible outing of transgender and gender-expansive youth, and place more undue burdens on educators that are already under-resourced, underpaid, and under-supported. It would also place a target on the backs of LGBTQ+ teachers and school staff. None of this is necessary and calling it the “Parents’ Bill of Rights” is nothing more than a dog whistle tactic that further discriminates against our community.
It’s called the “Parents’ Bill of Rights” because it implies that parents don’t cur-
rently have any rights in a school setting, which isn’t true. Parents are already allowed to view curricula and voice any concerns to teachers and administrators. What this bill would actually do is take away the rights of LGBTQ+ youth, LGBTQ+ families, and LGBTQ+ educators from existing as their whole selves in schools and continue to make them targets for harassment.
Teaching is already one of the hardest jobs in the world; you do it because you love it. That being said, loving the job isn’t always enough when you are overworked and underpaid. Forcing our educators to follow discriminatory policies that create distrust in the classroom is the opposite of what should be done. School policies should focus on supporting our educators and students, not discriminating against the most vulnerable.
It’s time that we start trusting our teachers to do their jobs and stop making them jump through unnecessary and discriminatory hoops. North Carolina is already facing a teaching crisis with educators leaving the profession in droves. Why on earth would we want to make it harder to keep teachers who are passionate about educating the next generation?
I didn’t come out as LGBTQ+ until adulthood; I was still firmly in the closet as a young, queer kid in school. It was hard enough back then, and I can’t even begin to imagine what it would have felt like to share my truth with a teacher I trusted only for that trust to be broken because of a discriminatory policy. I’m grateful I have a family that loves me and embraces me as my whole self, but so many other members of our community aren’t so lucky. No child should have to face that. LGBTQ+ youth already struggle with bullying, harassment, shame, and stigmatization. I am very concerned about the impact of SB 49 if it becomes state law, and if you believe in a world free of discrimination and marginalization for our most vulnerable, then you should be too.
Union County, North Carolina recently held its first-ever Pride events, marking a change in the perception of the county as a place for the LGBTQ+ community. The county has three active LGBTQ+ organizations: Gender Education Network, previously the only LGBTQ+ organization for years, Union County Pride, Inc, and PFLAG Charlotte (which has an active Union County group) and active LGBTQ groups at Wingate University and various schools in the Union County Public School system. This Charlotte metropolitan area is no longer known for being just an area brushed off as “well, it is Union County.’’ Now it’s becoming a hub for the LGBTQ community.
The road to acceptance was not easy. Despite resistance from some individuals, the efforts of the LGBTQ and ally community helped to promote the events and actually sell them out.
At present, however, the front line in the fight for LGBTQ rights continues in the school systems. Many schools are banning books, flags, clubs and even personal pronouns, with some school boards asking the state legislature to make discriminatory laws to attempt an overcome of the constitutional safeguards in place for decades.
This all highlights the need for response activism at every level of government.
Executively, the federal and North Carolina leaders are very LGBTQ affirming and willing to advance equality (or at least post executive statements about it during Pride month). Many counties and cities are still implementing anti-discrimination ordinances for LGBTQ+ individuals and other discriminated groups. One example of several in North Carolina is the City of Boone, which recently approved an ordinance that increased the number of accepting local towns, cities and counties.
Regardless, some local and county governments want to prevent Pride events or drag shows at businesses and public facilities. Union County prevented the county library from being part of Union County Pride and even tried to take down all internal displays for Pride Month. The librarians fought back and at least were allowed to have book displays for teens and adults. The City of Monroe in Union County is requesting the state legislature to classify drag shows under sexually-oriented businesses to prevent people under 18 from attending. The city tried to prevent drag at Union County Pride, but the city attorney explained to the council that such an action was currently unconstitutional.
Judicially, the Equality Act and the final ratification of the Equal Protection Amendment are pressing issues, especially with the current Supreme Court and the addition of hundreds of federal judges under the previous administration. There have been several important cases for LGBTQ rights, with many being decided in favor of the community at the state level. The Supreme Court of North Carolina in the M.E. v TJ case decided that domestic violence protections must apply for LGBTQ
couples. The United States District Court for the Middle District of North Carolina entered an Amended Consent Judgment in Campos v. Cohen that ruled a transgender person born in North Carolina may correct their gender marker on their birth certificate. To achieve this, they would need to submit a sworn statement, accompanied by a passport; a state-issued ID or driver’s license; or certification issued by a licensed healthcare professional, social worker or case manager that confirms the person’s gender identity. The United States District Court for the Middle District of North Carolina case Kadel v. Folwell decided that state health insurance must cover healthcare for transgender employees, but the North Carolina State Treasurer Dale Folwell and the Executive Administrator of the North Carolina State Health Plan (NCSHP) is asking the court to reverse the lower court decision to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit.
Legislative Overview
Legislatively, the 2023 State Legislative session is similar to the previous year, with many of the same bills being reintroduced. The “Parent’s Bill of Rights” or the “Don’t Say Gay” bill (HB 755), was stalled in 2022 following a warning of veto from Governor Cooper. The 2023 session SB 49 bill (very similar to HB755) could pass
even after a veto from Governor Cooper. The “Youth Health Protection” bill (SB 514) which aimed to limit medical treatments for transgender people under 21, is being renamed and reintroduced as HB 43 with a lower age limit of 18 years old in the 2023 session. The “Save Women’s Sports” bill (HB358), which sought to prevent transgender youth from participating in sports and the “Health Care Heroes Conscience Protection” bill (SB515), which sought to allow medical practitioners, health care institutions, and health care payers the ability to discriminate based on their religious, moral or ethical beliefs or principles, are likely to be reintroduced in the 2023 session.
The Federal Legislative recently passed the Respect for Marriage Act following the Supreme Court’s decision in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, which ruled that the Constitution does not guarantee the right to abortion and allows each state to decide the availability of healthcare through legislation. The Dobbs decision, which overturned federal abortion protections under Roe v. Wade from 1973, stated the Supreme Court could void the 2015 Marriage Equality Case Obergefell v. Hodges and the 1967 Loving v. Virginia case, which legalized interracial marriage.
This act, passed in December 2022, ensures equal marriage rights and responsibilities for all couples, including samesex and interracial marriages, regardless of state laws by safeguarding the validity of marriages recognized by one state in other states, even if the initial marriage could be banned in another state.
The journey towards LGBTQ+ equality in North Carolina is ongoing, but the community is making progress. With continued activism and support, we can continue to change its perception. ::
Mental Health from page 12
Healing Collective PLLC. She’s also an LGBTQ community member who specifically services the BIPOC and LGBTQ community. If you ask her what she does for a living she’s apt to tell you, “What I do is liberation work. It’s nothing to be free only in the physical if you are bound mentally and physically.”
community. “We have been disconnected from healing as a whole, because our indigenous practices have been stolen from us and the price to use those practices was violence or death.”
As for why more Black Americans are seemingly resistant to seeking therapy she offered, “Therapy was not [historically] our indigenous practice. But we learn how to adapt and choose sources of abundance,
She explains why she believes the work she does is important: “Because there’s a huge need. What I know is that mental health, mental wellness [and] the capacity to heal and thrive has been historically stolen, not a priority or cared about by larger society. So, it’s important that we reclaim our birthright, which is wholeness. In order to be a free person and a free spirit in the world we must be liberated from violence, oppression and trauma.”
Rivers weighed in on why maintaining mental health is key for the BIPOC LGBTQ
like the house/Ballroom community when those who birthed us have turned their backs on us. Now we have an opportunity to choose therapy and even incorporate our indigenous practices, like African spirituality and divination.”
Rivers acknowledged that therapy may not be for everyone, but that healing is a self-investment. She offered a compassionate and affirming reminder for those in need: “Know that there are options. At the end of the day, whatever you choose, choose yourself.” ::
TikTok is home to such a broad range of content creators. Whether you’re into fashion and beauty, fitness, food, music or sports, there’s a place for you and your interests.
LGBTQ+ content on TikTok is especially powerful. The app has become a real safe haven for members of the community, with TikTokers proudly sharing their own experiences while opening their arms to viewers who need support.
Here is a list of LGBTQ+ TikTokers you need to be following:
The Old Gays
These guys are guaranteed to put a smile on your face! The Old Gays consists of four elderly gay gentlemen ranging from ages 65 to 78: Robert Reeves, Bill Lyons, Jessay Martin and Mick Peterson.
The Californian creators spread joy on a daily basis with their fun challenges, viral dances and personal stories, while also acting as living proof to Queer youth that you can grow old as a gay person and be happy.
The foursome has amassed a mega three million followers, and are so loved, in fact, that they’ve even captured the attention of stars like Rihanna and Bebe Rexha.
Dylan Mulvaney
and love her for. She exudes utterly precious trans joy every day and reminds her followers that it gets better.
Ty Deran
Deran’s profile is all about information and education, as they use songs and sketches to tackle important issues facing the trans community – in the most colorful outfits too!
They speak about their own experiences as a trans and non-binary person, offering frequent reminders to others that they are never alone.
Imani breaks down nuanced topics ranging from the language of diet culture to bodily autonomy, from the diversity of womanhood to the importance of voting in elections.
Her content is fun and engaging, but it also hammers home really important points, whether it be capitalizing the B in Black or how to celebrate the holidays in a sustainable fashion.
Imani’s videos are short and digestible and frequently feature creators from other marginalized communities.
Jessica Kellgren-FozardDays of Girlhood is Mulvaney’s now world-famous TikTok series in which she documents her transition and navigates the trials and tribulations of living openly as her authentic self.
As well as covering her own transition, Mulvaney’s now-viral videos also encourage important conversations around presentation and gender. They have even earned her a spot in front of President Joe Biden.
With over nine million followers, it’s fair to say Mulvaney is making waves on TikTok, all while maintaining that bubbly personality and positive outlook we know
Deran feels like that best friend who is always there with affirmations and words of encouragement, whether you need a push to ditch a toxic relationship or finally pursue what makes you happy.
Blair
ImaniImani is proudly Black, bisexual and Muslim, and she’s the brain behind Smarter in Seconds, a video series basically giving us the lowdown on how to be a decent human being. She explains her points in empathetic, simplified ways and there’s no doubt that she helps bring about positive change, reaching millions far and wide.
Known online as JessicaOutOfTheCloset, Kellgren-Fozard brings a touch of vintage glamour to life.
She uses her platform of over 300,000 to discuss her experiences with disability
and chronic illness, as well as LGBTQ+ topics that she never had access to in school.
A deaf YouTuber and TV personality, every one of her videos radiates warmth and positivity, as she aims to inspire others by showing them that a little bit of optimism can go a long way.
She also shares her love for vintage fashion, travels with her wife Claudia, and her four-legged fluffy friends.
Claire Training
Everyone needs a Claire in their lives – she’s a science teacher and personal trainer who says it like it is, with a real nononsense yet comedic approach to the battles LGBTQ+ people face on a daily basis.
A lesbian mom, she takes great pride in being out and loud to reflect the community in a positive way and to provide visibility for those who have felt invisible in society for so long.
Claire is the queen of carefree humor, and she will shed light on harmful stereotypes and ridiculous myths in genius fashion, whether she’s running through a field waving a Pride flag dismantling the patriarchy or silencing homophobia in a rainbow beanie, Claire is the auntie we all want.
Wednesday Holmes
Holmes – known as HelloMyNameIsWednesday – is an artistic genius who uses their platform to provide mental health check-ins and uplifting affirmations for those days when you need a perk.
The illustrator’s joyful animations are bursting with color and are guaranteed to bring light to your day, whether that’s by reminding you to take your meds, have some more self-belief or feel proud of your little achievements.
Holmes’s striking creations also make the perfect phone wallpapers for those days when a joyful quote can go a long way. This article appears courtesy of our media partner LGBTQ Nation. ::
Qnotes Staff Writer
“Choosing Family: A Memoir of Queer Motherhood and Black Resistance” by Francesca T. Royster
c.2023, Abrams Press
$26.00
264 pages
Check one from each category.
Pick carefully. Take one from column A, one from column B, or choose what’s behind door number one or two. Immediate or long-term, when it comes to your future and your happiness, as in “Choosing Family” by Francesca T. Royster, it’s good to have options.
The whole idea hit her like a slap.
Francesca Royster had never particularly wanted to be a mother. She’d dated boys in school, decided that she liked women better, and eventually came out to her family. No, motherhood wasn’t on her radar – and yet, when she saw a sleepy toddler wrapped in her mother’s arms at an airport, Royster had the sudden need to
tuck that little head beneath her chin. She never discussed it with her partner Annie.
The urge “receded to the edges of my thoughts,” she says, and they traveled instead, hit middleage together, cared for sibling’s kids, and joked about “breeders.” She loved the life they’d built as Queer women with community, what Royster calls “Queer time.” Would she lose that if there was a baby involved?
She and Annie split, took time to think about the future, but came together nightly to talk and plan. Royster spoke to the “Mothers” – ancestors and goddesses from other cultures – and she thought of the kids near her hometown of Chicago who needed families.
Her female forebears had raised children, their own and those of others, in situations that were fluid. Surely two Queer women could, too.
And so, she and Annie applied to adopt, and after a nail-biting wait and a near-loss they brought home their daughter Cece who became a fierce, smart, loving little girl who’s cherished by the family that her mothers have assembled.
“I... know that there might come a day when Cece won’t feel as comfortable with this motley group that is our chosen family,” Royster writes. But “...by living our lives as truly as we can... we can change the world that she inherits.”
Not that it will affect your enjoyment at all, but the subtitle of “Choosing Family” is a bit confusing. This book is more about “Queer motherhood” than it is about “Black resistance,” and that’s okay. The best, most meditative, most meaningfully-worded parts of author Francesca Royster’s story are in becoming a mother to her child, and in tales of Royster’s own mother and other steely female ancestors who left their prints on her.
Resistance? No, that’s irresistible, especially to anyone pondering raising children.
Anchored by the turning of the word “family” upside down and reclaiming it from white hetero-normalcy, readers are led – indeed, treated – to what Royster and her partner created B.C. (before child) and afterward. Theirs is a made family that includes blood relatives, absent relatives and relatives-because-we-say-so.
That’s icing on a work-in-progress cake for readers who are considering doing the same thing, formal or otherwise. “Choosing Family” is also for those who’ve done this work, created the family they want, and it’s all good. Picket fence and two-point-five kids or not, check this. ::
J. Wesley Thompson MHS, PA-C, AAHIVS, DFAAPA
HIV Medical Director and co-founder
Chad Ellis PA-C
Richard T. Wynn, MD
Primary Care Director and co-founder
Mandy Irvin, PharmD, CPP, AAHIVP
Clinical Pharmacist Practitioner
Jason L. Hardin, MSN, AGNP-C, AAHIVS
Jerry A. Saunders, MD PhD
Heather Manos, MD
Shane Bentley, PharmD, CPP
Clinical Pharmacist Practitioner
Bill Kreft, PA-C
Hana Kim, PA-C
by Gregg Shapiro
Book info: Decent People
272 pages, hardcover Bloomsbury Publishing $25.20
Readers know that a writer has created an effective murder mystery when they are kept guessing, and then are utterly surprised by the revelation of the guilty party. Prize-winning gay author De’Shawn Charles Winslow does precisely that in his second novel “Decent People” (Bloomsbury, 2023). Like his debut novel, “In West Mills,” the follow-up “Decent People” is set in the same fictional North Carolina town, still segregated in the mid-1970s. The triple-murder of three siblings has the town abuzz, and as we are introduced to the various townsfolk, we discover that many had reason to commit the crime. Additionally, Winslow takes on race and queerness with an expert hand, expanding the reach of the story. De’Shawn was kind enough to make time for an interview in January 2023.
Gregg Shapiro: Being a North Carolina native yourself, what were the challenges and rewards of creating a fictional town such as West Mills, as you did in your 2019 debut novel “In West Mills,” and to which you have returned in your new novel “Decent People” (Bloomsbury, 2023)?
De’Shawn Charles Winslow: Since the real town of South Mills, N.C. is so familiar to me, it was really easy to create a slightly different version of it as “West Mills.” Returning to it for a second book was fun because it allowed me to add some minor details that I hadn’t in the first book. It’s rewarding in that most of the setting work is already done for me.
GS: West Mills is the very definition of a small town, right down to its population of 1,000 people. Was your North Carolina hometown of Elizabeth City as small?
DCW: Elizabeth City is a little bigger because there’s a university and a coast guard base there. But it still has that small-town vibe.
GS: The title of the novel comes from the 13th chapter when Savannah’s father Ted refers to the Harmon family as “decent people.” Did you already have the title when you were writing the novel or did what Ted says inspire you to use it for that purpose?
DCW: The final title was an amalgamation of clunky titles I pitched to my editor, all of which were trying to capture the idea of somewhat nice people doing awful things – things they believed were for the common good. The original title was
“Pharaoh’s Army,” based on a scene with Lymp and his mom. But once I edited that conversation, the title no longer worked.
GS: Family, in particular siblings, including the Harmons, Jo and Herschel, and Troy and Terrance, are central to the novel. Do you have siblings, and if so, how does your relationship with them compare to those in your book?
DCW: I have many siblings, and though we aren’t super close, we don’t have any issues with each other [laughs]. My interest in siblings is more so based on the fact that I know so many people who have full and half-siblings. It’s so common where I’m from that it’s almost strange when a person doesn’t have any half-siblings.
GS: As Jo says about West Mills, “everyone’s got a secret.” But secrets don’t stay secret very long the way townspeople spread gossip. “Decent People” is set in 1976, many years before social media. Does that have anything to do with why you set it then?
DCW: I chose the year mainly because of a triple accidental drowning that occurred in South Mills in the mid 70s. I learned about the drowning from my mother and aunt. Originally, the Harmons were going to be those drowning victims, but I changed it to a triple murder because I wanted a louder engine for the novel. The other reason 1976 worked well is because in “In West Mills,” La’Roy is born 14 years prior. It was the perfect year logistically.
GS: “Decent People” is full of period references including the TV shows “McMillan & Wife” and “Laverne & Shirley,” the 1971 Camden riot, model Donyale Luna, actor Calvin Lockhart, kidnapped heiress Patty Hearst, and even Body on Tap Shampoo. Was it fun for you to fit those elements into the storyline?
DCW: Google is such a lovely thing [laughs]! But I also watch old TV shows that often include lots of pop culture references.
GS: At its core, “Decent People” is a murder mystery. Do you have a favorite mystery writer from whom you find inspiration?
DCW: I haven’t read enough mysteries to have a favorite yet. Most of my mystery consumption comes from TV. I grew up watching shows like “Murder, She Wrote,” “Matlock” and “Father Dowling Mysteries” with my parents. And during the early months of the pandemic, I found myself watching some of those and other detective shows, new and old. I do plan to read more mysteries, though.
GS: Queerness is also an essential part of “Decent People.” Jo’s brother Herschel is gay, Eunice’s son La’Roy is gay. In fact, Eunice takes La’Roy to see Dr. Harmon to have “the gay removed.” Is this your commentary on conversion therapy?
DCW: Absolutely. I wanted to point out that conversion therapy can come in various forms. Sometimes it’s simply always
telling a child to walk differently, speak differently, laugh differently and so on. Sometimes the conversion attempts are so passive that one might not even realize they’re experiencing it until years later.
GS: You also make a point of talking about how Herschel left North Carolina and moved north to a place where he could live his life without fear or threat of violence. You also left North Carolina for New York. Please say something about that.
DCW: When I first left my hometown, I went to a larger North Carolina city where there were many openly Queer people and places for us to be who we were. [Winslow lived in Durham, N.C., for a time.] Those were some very liberating years. I remember my first time going to a gay bar like it was just last week. I wasn’t old enough to be there, of course. But in those days, people turned their heads and let 19-year-olds in [laughs]. They knew we were just looking for community.
GS: “Decent People” is very cinematic. If there was a movie version, who would you want to play Jo? Eunice? La’Roy? Savannah? Ted?
DCW: I believe Sheryl Lee Ralph would make a great Jo. Another interviewer mentioned that, and it has stuck with me. I think Anika Noni Rose would be great for Eunice. I haven’t thought about actors for other characters much.
GS: Have you started working on or thinking about your next writing project?
DCW: I have recently decided what my next book will be about. All I’ll say for now is that it’ll be set in the ‘80s and in a real life North Carolina town. All brand new characters. I’m excited about it. ::
Milton Howard is a warm and quick-witted gentleman who has lived in North Carolina all of his life. Many Charlotteans and visitors alike have partied, chilled and relaxed in spaces Howard has managed or owned. For many, it was most likely The Nickel Bar, a quaint little bar and grill on the West side of Charlotte that remained in business for a solid decade.
Howard is also a homeowner with a knack for growing plants and vegetables. His home is surrounded by lush banana trees. Depending on the time of year, guests who come to visit can expect a tour of the grounds and also look forward to gifts of plump delicious tomatoes and tasty zucchini and collard greens he grows in his backyard garden.
Inside you’ll find a welcoming and well-decorated home usually accompanied by cordials he skillfully mixes and maybe a slice of rum cake.
During this candid conversation, Howard shares some of his thoughts on overcoming difficult and heartbreaking experiences, as well as how he finds joy along the way.
L’Monique King: Where in North Carolina are you originally from?
Milton Howard: Originally Huntersville, N.C.
LMK: How long have you lived in Charlotte, and what part of town are you in?
MH: I’ve always been in Charlotte. Charlotte and Huntersville are right next door [to each other], and I live in West Charlotte.
LMK: It’s not easy to meet a native Charlottean. Why haven’t you ever relocated? Why have you stayed for so long?
MH: It’s always been home and my connections, my roots are too deep here to have uprooted and left. I’m grounded in Charlotte. I love Charlotte. It’s big but not too big. It’s still a friendly town and a growing city with plenty of options. You can always get away, whether to the mountains or the beach or by plane to a travel destination if need be.
LMK: Are you partnered? Do you have a special someone in your life?
MH: Yes, I have a husband, Leon. We will have been happily married for three years on February 21st.
LMK: Congratulations and happy upcoming anniversary. As one of Charlotte’s first and few Black LGBT bar owners, can you share a little bit about how you got started?
MH: I became a Black LGBT club
promoter in April of 1990. I became a bar owner in 2009. Nickel Bar was the original dream I had in 1990 but as with everything, God doesn’t give you things until you are ready or it’s in his time. In Feb of 2009 I became the owner of Nickel Bar. It was a safe neighborhood LGBTQ bar that catered to the community. It was a place where everyone could feel at home – a nonjudgmental zone. In 2019 the Nickel Bar property was sold and as a result, had to close.
LMK: Knowing that business ownership comes with challenges, what would you say was most difficult about operating a bar?
MH: Ummm, Loaded question. I would say keeping the community engaged. There were a lot of people who wanted to shit on the bar, calling it a hole in the wall and things like that. There were people who just didn’t want to see the bar succeed.
LMK: But it did succeed, and for 10 years at that. Do you miss operating the Nickel Bar?
MH: Ummm, yes and no. [Chuckling] Yes, because I miss the people and making connections with them. No, because I love the freedom of not having to grind every weekend and holiday.
LMK: What are you doing now?
MH: I’m back to my original career [within the arena of] healthcare. I work with the Medicaid population, ensuring that they receive quality care. [Then, there’s Bar Argon.] Due to customer demand, Bar Argon opened. The owners saw a need for the Black LGBT community to continue the tradition that had been built at Nickel Bar. So now, I’m
a guest promoter at Bar Argon.
LMK: What words of advice would you give to those interested in becoming bar owners?
MH: Business is hard. You have internet dating to compete with when bars used to be a primary location for meeting folks. Business can also be hard because of diversification as well. Diversification of the area has weakened the strength of the LGBT community and the feeling of community we experienced in the ‘70s, ‘80s and ‘90s.
LMK: As a Black gay trailblazer in the Charlotte LGBTQ Bar scene, what does Black History Month mean to you, and why is it important?
MH: [It’s] everything. It recognizes the contributions of our community, from contributions to basic life needs to elements of entertainment.
LMK: In March of 2021 your 18-year-old son Milton Howard II died. Having faced a parent’s worst nightmare, how do you stay sane after having experienced such a painful and unnatural occurrence?
MH: I don’t have a choice. I have another son and a grandson [Milton Howard II’s child]. I have to persevere. I have to be their history, and I have to be a part of their future. I have to be a part of their decisions and their legacy.
LMK: As a father, what thoughts would you share or want to say to the parents of Tyre Nichols (the young man who recently lost his life at the hands of Memphis police officers) and others who have had the misfortune of outliving their children?
MH: You will never get past it. You’ll be reminded daily, but you have to keep moving because as parents that is what we do, that is who we are, because we have too many people depending on us to fail them.
LMK: How do you find joy? What do you do for fun?
MH: Traveling!
LMK: Do you have a favorite travel destination?
MH: So far, Africa. There’s a game reserve I really like, [and I like] Cape Town, Johannesburg and Soweto.
LMK: Share something most folks don’t know about you?
MH: I’m an avid reader of politics, culture and the arts.
LMK: As a final thought, what would you say are your dreams for the LGBTQ community?
MH: To reunite, and [make] this city a destination point. ::
A community icon shares thoughts on business, life and dreams of LGBT unityBy L’Monique King
