QNotes, Jan. 1-14, 2016

Jan. 1-14 . 2016

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Jan. 1-14 . 2016

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Get yourself organized and get healthier!

news & features

arts. entertainment. news. views.

8 News Notes: Regional Briefs 10 News Notes: U.S./World Briefs

a&e / life&style 4 March to a different beat to greater health

It’s a new year and you want to get with it — to be healthier, happy, wealthier and wise.

Take a look at the informative features from pages 4-7 to learn more.

5 Mental health maintenance 6 Get it together, girl!

7 Blue zones 13 Tell Trinity 14 Q Events Calendar 15 Health & Wellness

••••• more news & features •••••

Health & Wellness

News from across the globe

Jack Kirven shares some great information about dealing with cheating on one’s diet. page 15

As the new year begins, the world is cranking up with events, successes, updates and more! pages 8-10

Jan. 1-14 . 2016

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March to a different beat to greater health Tips for making the new year more meaningful, invigorating

by Lainey Millen, qnotes staff

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t’s that time of the year when everyone makes plans for what they will do to make this the best one yet. Only apathy, or its cousin laziness, comes to roost, derailing every good intention.

How many times have you started out with a health regimen and let it fall by the wayside when it got tough? And, how often have you gotten into an exercise plan, just to give up because your motivation wanes?

We’ve all been there. We start out a new year with all good intentions. We want to be “happy, healthy, wealthy and wise.” It’s great to set goals, but make sure that they are measurable and attainable. Don’t set yourself up for failure from the get-go.

So, let’s explore some ways to be more successful, relative to those proverbial resolutions, and come out a winner.

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You are what you eat First, your diet is a place to start. I’ve been seeing a nutritionist for awhile now and have gotten some really good tips on how to eat well, while not having to do it to the point of frustration. It only takes a few changes to find yourself feeling better and fueling your body for the days ahead.

How many sodas do you consume? The soft drink industry is making a killing on your addiction to these bottled poisons.

Most of them are sugary and contain all sorts of chemicals. The body needs, and I underscore needs, water in order to function.

Our health and wellness guru, Jack Kirven, can certainly speak to this from a professional standpoint, but I can tell you that swapping sodas for water is essential. Purchase a filtered water pitcher and keep cold water in the refrigerator all the time. Get used to having eight glasses of it a day. It will flush out toxins that are stored up in your body, and it will give your organs and body systems the necessary hydration they need to function effectively. Now, that does not mean you have to stick solely to water. You can have a soda occasionally, but once you get on the water kick, you won’t even like sodas anymore and will find them to be too sweet. You’ll find that they make you more thirsty and you’ll probably crash from a sugar high. For me, it just does not feel good.

Now, let’s talk about food and substitutions. Change out white rice with brown rice and make sure you use whole grains instead of enriched products.

My nutritionist showed me a printed plate in her office that shows you how much to have of each food group for each meal.

She says that Americans think that they have to have half of their plate filled with a protein and that is not right. We can do well with four ounces, coupled with a quarter of the plate filled with a whole grain and the other half of the plate filled with equal helpings of vegetables and fruit. Eat what’s there and don’t go back for seconds.

Oh, and be sure to have some dairy unless you are lactose intolerant. For a snack, eat some fruit and some cheese or a handful of nuts like plain almonds to help balance the sugar intake of the fruit.

Not only does this help with proper nutrition, but you’ll notice unnecessary weight slowly slough off. But, don’t eat while driv-

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ing or riding in a car, walking, doing projects, etc.

Have meals while sitting down. It aids in better digestion. You’ll get more food in you than on you if you do this!

But, by all means, do not live on fast food. It’s another way to poison yourself. I got off all of it and when I do try to eat it, I often feel a bit sick. If you do have to eat fast food, do so thoughtfully.

One, two, three, four, get yourself out the door Next, let’s explore the monster called exercise. We all go out and join a gym. We maybe even go a few times and then stop. It’s typical.

Instead of going to a facility to get moving, why not simply walk. It does not cost anything and it is one of the most healthy ways to get yourself fit. My doctor has me doing this and it makes me feel so much better. Besides, in the winter, it helps to offset those winter blues and charges Whether it’s the beginning of a new year or anytime in between, finding ways to life a healtier brain chemistry. I can certainly attest to this life pain off in spades and result in maintaining sharpness, fitness and more. myself. Most importantly, get out in the sunlight. It Photo Credit: Marek via Dollar Photo Club provides you with vitamin D which is important to maintain a healthy body. Sunlight is an essential Earth to Jane component of fending off S.A.D. — seasonal affective disorder.

I know that I’m going to get all sorts of flack on this one, but Feel sad, then get glad with some fresh air and sunshine.

I have to say it. Unplug every day for awhile from your gadgets.

Instead of driving everywhere, try using public transportaI am amazed at how many people are constantly staring into a tion. That is one way to get some steps into your day. You will be phone or tablet. Spend some time actually looking at people and “forced” to walk from one bus stop to another or to your destinahaving a real conversation with them. We’re losing our ability to tion. Be part of the 10,000-steps-a-day nation. Get an inexpensive do so and that is not good. Nothing ever replaces true human pedometer to count them. I have one and am amazed at how the contact and direct conversation. I don’t know about you, but I gizmo works and shows me how well I am doing each day. can’t text that fast and the intension is totally lost in translation no matter how many exclamation marks or emoticons are used.

Go out and play If you have some time to spare, then find a group of friends Conflict resolution and get out of town for the day to break your routine. Go hiking, One of the biggest things you can do is find some resolve explore a historical site, gaze at nature or go berry picking or with someone with whom you have quarreled. The old adage gleaning. Better yet, visit someone who is isolated and alone. It’s a of not going to bed angry is well founded. Understanding and great way to connect in countless ways to the world around you. forgiveness can help bring peace to our chaotic planet.

Now, we remember when we were kids and how much fun we had, right? So, why not head out to the playground and Maintain mental acuity swing? Or, skip or jump rope? Or, sing (even if you make dogs I’ve never been a voracious reader, but I’m finding that reading howl!). Even better yet, find that inner creative source and dabhelps to make me sharper. It activates brain processing, and that is ble in drawing, painting or doodling or any kind of hobby. Feeling a good thing. As we age, our ability to comprehend and remember youthful adds to the benefits of life. It energizes us all. Chase wanes. We all require activity to stay fresh. This one is low tech away the “bah, humbug” and replace it with optimism. Positive and can even be low cost, as well. I have a tablet and find a wealth thinking is just plain good for the soul and for the world at large. of free or super cheap books to add to my library. I’m a “whodunit” Also, hugs are free! Give and get them often. Researchers say freak. It gets those reasoning skills clicking, very good for someone that human touch is essential for us psychologically. It gives us who writes for a living! Also, puzzle games can add benefit, too. a sense of well being and connectedness. This also applies to More of that brain stimulation we all need to stay sharp. our furry friends. Spend time with them, too. They are replete with unconditional love. see Health on 6

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life

Mental health maintenance Taking actionable steps toward a happier future

by Jeff Taylor :: qnotes staff

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to find ways to help people where they will veryone wants to be happier, but have no way of knowing the kind act came arriving in a place of better mental from you. health can seem a daunting task.

According to the National Institute Meditation of Mental Health, in 2014 an estimated In a hectic society such as ours, medi15.7 million Americans age 18 and older tation provides a mental oasis where you had at least one major depressive can relax, release stress and try to find a episode in the past year, which is 6.7 quiet place in your mind, free from anxiety percent of the adult population. and worry. There are many different The LGBT community is even more ways to meditate, and it is something of a vulnerable, as life coach and motivacatchall phrase at this point. If you are new tional speaker Jonathan Winn points to meditation, make your first goal to simply out. Winn, who owns and operates the sit down for 20 to 30 minutes in one place Charlotte, N.C.-based Breathe Refuge, is without moving or engaging in any activity. himself openly gay and often works with Once you can successfully make it other members of the LGBT community. through those sessions, start working on “Clearly the LGBT community is sitting with crossed legs on a cushion emotionally wounded, (many) having with your eyes closed, while focusing on been cast aside from family and sociyour breathing. When thoughts come into ety. Our wounds run deep, striking at your mind, as they will, don’t try to chase the core of who we authentically are,” them away or latch on to them. Simply Winn says. watch them arise, and then watch them While those suffering from major disappear again. Try to eventually get to depression may need to seek profesTaking stock of one’s life by using journal writing can help traverse life’s the point where you are meditating once sional psychiatric help, it is important a day for around 30 minutes. Not only will to understand that there are actionable journey toward a healthier and happier state and wellbeing.

Photo Credit: Mark Abercrombie via Dollar Photo Club it help you to reduce and manage stress steps that can be taken to increase and negative emotions, it will begin to overall happiness and mental wellbestudies suggest is more effective than making make you a more patient and less reactive ing. Better yet, all of these techniques can be daily entries. person as well. : : used in conjunction with psychotherapy or clinical treatment. Most of all, it is important to Letter of gratitude retain hope.

Writing a letter of gratitude to someone in “By letting go of our past wounding, we your life who has helped you or been supportare freed up to fully stand in our power,” as ive is another great way to focus on the posiWinn puts it. tive aspects of your life. It also extends the gratitude outward and is a chance to thank Gratitude journal someone, as well as remind you that you are Keeping a gratitude journal has been a part of a supportive community. It may also shown in several studies to help improve mood act to reconnect you with those with whom and feelings of happiness. A gratitude journal you may have lost contact. is a diary where you write down that which you are grateful for in your life. It allows you to Random acts of kindness focus on the positive over the negative. This is Doing something nice for someone, even particularly helpful for those who have a tensomething small, even if they never know you dency to notice the negative experiences they did it, can also create positive effects in your go through much more than the positive ones, mood. Just remember not to have preconas it can begin to retrain your way of thinking ceived expectations about how the person about life. You may not be able to change what you aim to help will respond. If you are walking happens to you, but you can change how you around handing out flowers, for instance, do view it. not feel bad if someone ignores you. Focus on You can keep a daily journal or simply those who were happy to receive your gift. If make an entry once a week or so, which some you are particularly sensitive to rejection, try

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qnotes connect Jan. 1-14, 2016 Vol 30 No 18

arts. entertainment. news. views. goqnotes.com twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue Jack Kirven, Lainey Millen, Jeff Taylor, Chris Tittel, Trinity

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Graphic Design by Lainey Millen Photography: olly via Dollar Photo Club Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBT and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBT life and social justice issues.

Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Managing Editor: Jim Yarbrough, editor@goqnotes.com Assoc. Editor: Lainey Millen, specialassignments@goqnotes.com Social Media Editor: Jeff Taylor, socialmedia@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen, x205 production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.

Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2016 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

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Get it together, girl!

Improving organization skills benefits health, career, personal life

by Chris Tittel :: qnotes contributor

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t’s a new year and with it comes resolutions on everything from quitting smoking to losing weight to spending more time with family and friends.

Cynthia Kyriazis has sage advice when it comes to one particular resolution, however, namely the resolution to become more organized.

“It’s not just about clearing your desk,” she writes. “It’s about clearing your mind for more important things.”

Kyriazis, a well-known productivity strategist, coach and trainer with Productivity Partners Inc., is just one of many life coaches worldwide who see organizing your thinking as a path to improving your life, from the big decisions — career, marriage, parenthood, homeownership, retirement — right down to picking the proper tie to match your New Year’s Eve dinner jacket.

Mind over matter Margaret Moore, life coach and co-author of “Organize Your Mind, Organize Your Life,” echoes Kyriazis’s point about an organized mind in an article appearing on CNN online.

“An organized mind enables full engagement in a health-giving style of life,” she writes. “The connection between disorganized minds and unhealthy habits is compelling. It’s an epidemic.

I don’t know anyone whose mind isn’t frenzied, distracted or divided by multitasking a good deal of the time.”

Moore writes that the first step is to tame the negative emotional frenzy that can make it difficult to think things through.

Once any worry, anger, sadness or irritation is out of the way, the ability to focus your attention is restored and organization can be much more easily achieved.

She also recommends that you address one task at a time, find a private space, turn off your iPhone (to help improve focus and concentration) and take breaks.

“The kind of organization I’m talking about is not about decluttering your office or home or purchasing the latest app to organize to-dos and projects,” she writes. “I’m talking about the mind’s ability to attain a higher order of order — a calm, wise, positive, strategic perspective — and the skills it takes to get there in small or large domains of life, including health and well-being.”

To learn more, visit cnn.it/1PkJ8yN. Develop skills Job Interview & Career Guide offers anyone looking for a job or hoping to advance his or her career the following list of skills that can help overall organization and, in turn, lead to a much happier and more fulfilling work experience: • Problem-solving • Attention to detail • Decision-making • Multitasking • Interpersonal • Analysis • Working on a team • Communications For more detail on these items, visit bit.ly/1QKGHqx. Linear? Or global?

Nicky Lamarco, a communication and writing coach based in Berwick, Maine, offers tips on better organizational skills in an article appearing on LifeCoachHub.com., a site that brings life coaches in touch with anyone who wants to improve basic life skills.

Lamarco suggests you step back and take a look at what systems, structures or patterns are already in place and then

Health tips continued from page 4 ‘Now I lay me…’

I am a night owl. I always have been. However, it does not matter when your “night” occurs; it does matter that you get enough sleep and rest so that you can be keen during your day.

For me, and most everyone I know, getting too little makes me lethargic, unable to process even the simplest concept. I am also more congenial when I get my proper rest. Remember that babies have to get their naps in so they are not cranky. Same

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Jan. 1-14 . 2016

Getting organized takes some positive thought. Concentration on the task as hand is healthier than thinking about a plethora of them which ultimately leads to frenzy and distraction.

Photo Credit: olly via Dollar Photo Club

decide whether to make modifications to what’s already there or start from scratch.

Once you’ve made a list of everything that needs to be organized at that point, consider an organizational plan. Lamarco notes that organizers typically fall into one of two categories: linear or global. Linear organizers oftentimes arrange items, for example, in numerical or alphabetical order. Global organizers typically go for something a bit more abstract, such as organizing by color or frequency of use.

Organizational products — storage boxes, folders, labels, cabinets, etc. — will help once you’ve determined what needs to be organized and how to organize it.

Finally, Lamarco suggests a plan to manage the time you spend organizing. One tip she offers is to start organizing the small stuff. Once the small stuff is out of the way, Lamarco writes, you can feel more confident that you’ll complete the job.

Read more of her tips at bit.ly/1QKGKTv. First things first Rick Suttle of Demand Media offers advice on organization from a business perspective in an article posted to Chron, the

principle applies to us, too. How often do you snap at someone simply because you are feeling tired? Now, get to sleep! (Oy! I sound like my Momma!)

If you have trouble falling asleep, then try listening to soft music to slow down your mind. Or, simply be still. Meditate or pray.

If that does not work, get up and do something for a short period and then try the sleep thing again. At least you are productive when you can not sleep.

Community connection Buff Faye shared the practice of random acts of kindness in our last issue. That is one way to better the world around us,

website for The Houston Chronicle.

“People need organizational skills at work to be more productive,” Suttle writes. “Workers who know where to find notes or certain resources can save time. Therefore, they tend to get more done.”

When starting a new job, you should determine what supplies you need and how to access them as easily as possible.

Items that you use routinely should be kept on your desk, while items used less often should be stored in a drawer.

Suttle reminds anyone who uses a computer at work to ensure files are in easy-access folders and are backed up routinely.

As with Lamarco, Suttle encourages anyone who wants to be more organized to consider how he or she spends time.

“Employees need time management organizational skills to keep track of meetings, appointments, tasks and deadlines,” he writes. “Time management skills will also help you avoid the last-minute rush to complete tasks, eliminating potential stress in the process.”

Prioritization can help with time management, as well, dedicating oneself to completing the most important tasks first.

Get more information at bit.ly/1U3Y0AU.

in addition to giving yourself more self esteem and providing a way to pay it forward. It also makes you appreciate what you have and the gifts that you have been given. There are so many non-profits in our LGBT community that can always need a extra set of hands for many worthwhile projects. Volunteer for one of them. It will be so worth it and welcomed.

Get in step So, there you have it. Make an achievable plan. Eat right. Get plenty of rest. Exercise. Give back. Stimulate your mind. Connect.

But most of all, find ways to make “our world” a stronger, healthier one. That’s my take. What’s yours? : :

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life

Blue Zones What the world’s healthiest places can teach us about longevity

by Jeff Taylor :: qnotes staff

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ot all regions of the world are created equal when it comes to the health and longevity of its population. There are certain parts of the world where people live longer than anywhere else. They are known as blue zones.

The blue zones concept comes from work first done by researchers Gianni Pes and Michel Poulain, who discovered that Sardinia, Italy’s Nuoro province, had the highest concentration of male centenarians — those who live to be 100 or older. Author and educator Dan Buetter took the ball and ran with it from there, identifying other areas besides Sardinia where people were living longer than elsewhere: Icaria, Greece; Nicoya, Costa Rica; and Okinawa, Japan. The Seventh Day Adventists in Loma Linda, Calif., have also been included in the blue zone phenomenon.

Certain common characteristics have been found in these regions, and understanding them and acting upon that knowledge can help us to create a healthier, longer life for ourselves no matter where we live.

Diet, lifestyle choices Unsurprisingly, what you put into your body has a big impact on how healthy you are and how long you live. Those living in blue zones tend to have mostly vegetarian diets. Meat is not eaten frequently, and when it is, it is most often lean meat and fish, not red meat which is less healthy. Legumes and beans are also frequent menu items.

Moderate caloric intake is also recommended, as is moderate alcohol intake. Not overdoing it when it comes to high calorie foods and alcoholic beverages is key.

Staying away from cigarettes and hard drugs will also go a long way in keeping you healthier longer. So too will maintaining an active lifestyle. Individuals from blue zones tend to practice

regular physical activity, which is a part of their everyday life.

Try to exercise regularly, especially if your work requires you to be sedentary for hours at a time. You might also try to get up and walk around while at work every couple of hours to break up the time you spend sitting still.

Community Those living in blue zones also tend to have more supportive communities in which they live and work, including stronger familial bonds. Family is put ahead of other concerns, such as status and money.

This can be a sticking point for some in the LGBT community, who may experience a higher rate of rejection from family and associates than the general population. In these instances, it is important to find a chosen family of friends and supporters.

“Being able to have and find people who are pro you, no matter what community you are in, is super important,” says Dr. Pearl Wong, of New Leaf Counseling Group, LLC, in Charlotte, N.C. Wong’s clientele include many in the LGBT community.

The more we feel connected, the greater our chances of increased mental health, which should lead to healthier lifestyle choices. It also helps ensure health by providing individuals with a network they can turn to when they are sick or dealing with a prolonged illness.

Purpose Lastly, finding one’s purpose in life is essential. Without purpose, not only is it harder to find a reason to go on, but it makes living a long time all but pointless.

“Everyone is born with intuitive abilities,” says life coach and motivational speaker Jonathan Winn. “Some of us are born

better at it than others. Just like singing, where there are some natural born talents, all of us can learn to sing. All of us can learn to listen to our own inner guidance. This is spirit communicating through us and all we have to do is listen.”

A life lived out of purpose, as opposed to fear, insecurity or mere instinct, creates better mental health and can result in an increase in energy and productivity.

Conclusion While we cannot all live in blue zones, we can begin to bring the blue zone mentality and lifestyle into our own lives. Keeping these main concepts in mind while shaping one’s life may not result in a longer life — individual results may vary, as they say — but it will certainly increase your chances and will at the very least make the time you do spend on this planet, whatever city you call home, healthier and more meaningful. : :

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news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen

Charlotte Performer to release video

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Lara Americo, a transgender musician, artist, luthier and advocate for transgender rights, will release her [untitled] video showcased on Creative Loafing Charlotte on Jan. 5.

The montage trailer features sights and sounds from around the Queen City, as well as musical associates and friends of Americo.

Each episode in the series will be broken into two parts — one with a live performance, a la the Tiny Desk concert series, and one with an interview, Creative Loafing Charlotte reported. info: clclt.com. laraamerico.com.

Mercy receives support

BELMONT, N.C. — The House of Mercy (HOM), 100 McAuley Cir., announced that it had received a contribution of $5,000 from The Tradesmen during HOM’s holiday part in early December 2015.

The Tradesmen also gave gift cards to HOM residents, along with a fruit basket and a spread of food.

To date, the Tradesmen have contributed over $80,000 to the HIV/AIDS care facility which is run by the Sisters of Mercy.

HOM also received a number of grants to handle funding for a used van purchase, ice maker, clinical staff salary support, as well

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Jan. 1-14 . 2016

The Tradesmen prepared a holiday meal with a lovely fruit basket for House of Mercy.

Photo Credit: House of Mercy

as salary support for HOM’s coordinator of residential recreation and volunteers.

A number of churches made financial contributions and stocking items for the pantry. info: houseofmercy.org. charlottetradesmen.org.

Chamber sets training date

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC) will hold a training institute from Jan. 28-29 , 8 a.m.4 p.m., at the Omni Hotel, 132 E. Trade St. An institute reception will take place on Jan. 29 from 6-8 p.m.

The event is hosted by the University of Notre Dame - Mendoza College of Business.

The institute is a free two-day training program, exclusively funded by Wells Fargo, that provides executive-level learning to chamber of commerce leaders from across the country.

Chamber leaders that complete the training will receive a certificate of completion from Notre Dame. It is intended to foster collaboration across diverse segments of the business community and bring together local affiliate chamber leaders from NGLCC, United States Hispanic Chamber of Commerce Foundation, US Pan Asian American Chamber of Commerce and the U.S. Black Chamber.

Registration is available online at nglcc.org/ events/chamber-training-institute-2016.

The Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce is a chapter member.

This is the first stop of the year for the program which will also stop in Austin, Texas, Chicago, Ill., San Diego, Calif., Philadelphia, Penn., and New Orleans, La. For more information about the event or attending, email Courtney Mott at cmott@ nglcc.org.

In other news, the NLGCC’s national dinner held in November 2015, made history when U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development Secretary Julián Castro and chamber co-founders Justin Nelson and Chance Mitchell signed a strategic Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) between NGLCC and the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD). Castro signaled that HUD would stand in solidarity with and support the LGBT business community at the end of the signing ceremony.

This MOU follows a series of other agreements made between NGLCC and various federal

agencies, including the U.S. Department of Commerce, U.S. Department of Labor, and the U.S. Small Business Administration. These agreements are part of NGLCC’s larger policy priority of including certified LGBT Business Enterprises in federal procurement opportunities. info: nglcc.org.

Fest volunteers sought

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The 8th Annual GayCharlotte Film Festival, being held this year from April 21-24 is seeking volunteers for involvement in this LGBT community event.

Informational meeting will be held on Jan. 4, 6:30 p.m., at the Charlotte Pride office, 1900 The Plaza.

Those interested in learning more would benefit from attending the informational session.

The festival is a non-profit entity which engages the community in a myriad of volunteer options. It will take place at Theatre Charlotte, 501 Queens Rd. To learn more, email teresadavisnc@ gmail.com. info: charlottelgbtfilm.com.

Condoms go fashion fab

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Planned Parenthood South Atlantic will host its Condom Couture event on Feb. 27, 8 p.m., at Neighborhood Theatre, 511 E. 36th St. Using condoms (in “Project Runway” speak — unconventional materials), designers will showcase their innovative, wearable art pieces as they hit the runway.

All proceeds will benefit the hosting organization so it can continue to provide sexual

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health and safer sex information and resources.

Corporate and individual sponsorships are being sought. See Planned Parenthood’s website to learn more.

Early bird tickets are $25/general and $40/ balcony. Door prices are $30/general and $45/ balcony. Sponsorship levels are detailed on the website and range from $125 to $3,000. info/tickets: condomcoutureclt.com.

Eastern

Rev. Dr. Wendy Ella May (left) is running for a board of commissiners seat in Micro, N.C., and is the first LGBT candidate from that township.

She is seen here with Janice Covington from Charlotte, N.C., at a recent LGBT Democrats of North Carolina state convention.

Photo Credit: Wendy Ella May election website

Farmer files for office

MICRO, N.C. — Farmer Rev. Dr. Wendy Ella May filed for public office on Dec. 16, 2015.

The transgender transplant from New Jersey is vying for a seat on the Johnston County Board of Commissioners.

May will face off against incumbent Commissioner Ted Godwin for the District 2 seat.

She is the first openly LGBT person to run for office in the county. May has served in the U.S. Army, been a publisher for three publications, volunteered for a number of local, state and national organizations, is founding director of M.E.N.D. 4 Male Survivors of Military Sexual Trauma, a member of LGBT Democrats of North Carolina and is the founding director of WE May Talent Management Foundation, to name a few of her achievements and contributions. info: electwemay2016.com.

Triangle Methodists to meet

DURHAM, N.C. — Reconciling United Methodists of North Carolina will hold its winter meeting on Jan. 10, 5:30 p.m., at Duke Memorial United Methodist Church, 504 W. Chapel Hill St. Topics include congregational meeting experiences, along with planning, as well as ways to become a reconciling church body.

For more meeting details, email info@rum-nc.org.

In other news, the national organization will host its general conference in Portland, Ore., from May 10-20 and is seeking those who would be willing to serve as a volunteer at the annual event.

It is asking its constituents to sign the Love Your Neighbor Coalition’s vision statement which calls for its members to embrace inclusiveness and to fully welcome the LGBT community into church life, among others issues.

Email umcmittie@gmail.com or faithgeer@ gmail.com to learn more. info: rum-nc.org. lyncoalition.org. umc.org.

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Regional & Beyond HRC’s index ranks cities

WASHINGTON, D.C. — On Dec. 17, 2015, the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) released its Municipal Equality Index (MEI) which examines the laws, policies and services of municipalities and rates them on the basis of their inclusivity of LGBT individuals who live and work there, the organization shared.

Of the 408 cities rated, there were a number of them that are from the Carolinas. Here is how they were scored, with 100 being the highest points level available for scoring — North Carolina: Cary, 18; Chapel Hill, 55; Charlotte, 60; Durham, 60; Fayetteville, 23; Greensboro, 85; Raleigh, 60; and Winston-Salem, 33.

South Carolina: Charleston, 47; Clemson, 0; Columbia, 75; Mount Pleasant, 18; North Charleston, 45; and Rock Hill, 17.

Categories that were explored were those revealing the municipality’s grades on issues such as non-discrimination laws, employment inclusivity, inclusive services, law enforcement and relationship with the LGBT community. Bonus points “While this has been an historic year for equality, we are constantly reminded of just how far we still have to go,” said HRC President Chad Griffin. “In too many communities, LGBT Americans continue to face barriers to equality, overt discrimination, and even violence. We believe those challenges make full equality and strong legal protections all the more important, and today’s report makes clear that hundreds of local communities throughout all 50 states wholeheartedly agree.”

HRC researched hundreds of cities for the 2015 MEI, including all 50 state capitals, the nation’s 200 most populous cities, the five largest cities in every state, the communities home to each state’s two largest public universities and an equal mix of 75 of the nation’s large, midsize and small municipalities with the highest proportion of same-sex couples.

The organization added that the number of cities that are attaining All-Star status are increasing. To earn perfect scores, cities must embrace comprehensive transgender-inclusive laws and policies that often go beyond explicit protections offered by their state or the federal government. This year there were 47 who earned a perfect score. Each region had cities with perfect scores. And, 32 million people live in cities with more comprehensive, transgender-inclusive non-discrimination laws than their state or the federal government. The average score overall was 56 points.

The full report is available online. info: hrc.org/mei.

Jan. 1-14 . 2016

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news news notes: u.s./world goqnotes.com/to/news

compiled by Chris Tittel, qnotes contributor

FADA promises ‘protections’ for same-sex marriage dissenters

(clockwise from top left) GOP candidates Ted Cruz, Carly Fiorina, Mike Huckabee, Ben Carson, Rick Santorum and Marco Rubio.

Photo Credit: LGBTQ Nation

Ever since the Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage, anti-gay crusaders have been touting a somewhat obscure piece of legislation called the First Amendment Defense Act (FADA), which would prohibit the federal government from “taking discriminatory action against a person on the basis that such person believes or acts in accordance with a religious belief or moral conviction that: (1) marriage is or should be recognized as the union of one man and one woman, or (2) sexual relations are properly reserved to such a marriage.”

In other words, the First Amendment [Defense] Act would let both individuals and businesses discriminate against gay people and others under the banner of “religious liberty.”

As Right Wing Watch reports, anti-gay groups have been eager to show their support for the legislation.

As it so happens, a handful of these groups — namely, the American Principles Project, Heritage Action for America and Family Research Council Action — just made the announcement that a total of six GOP presidential hopefuls have signed a pledge promising to push for the passage of the FADA within their first 100 days in office should they be elected.

American Principles Project has joined together with Heritage Action for America, the action arm of the Heritage Foundation, and FRC Action, the legislative affiliate of the Family Research Council, to invite each of the candidates running for president to sign the following pledge: “If elected, I pledge to push for the passage of the First Amendment Defense Act (FADA) and sign it into law during the first 100 days of my term as president.”

So far, six candidates have signed the pledge: • Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) • Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Florida) • Dr. Ben Carson • Carly Fiorina • Former Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pennsylvania) • Former Gov. Mike Huckabee (R-Arkansas) Maggie Gallagher, senior fellow at American Principles Project, released the following statement: “It has become clear that the First Amendment Defense Act is rapidly becoming a signature issue that unifies the GOP. Three out of the four top contenders for the nomination — Carson, Cruz, and Rubio — have pledged to prioritize passing FADA in their first 100 days of office. Additionally, Bush, Graham, Paul, and now for the first time, Donald Trump, have publicly expressed support for FADA. Real, concrete protections for gay marriage dissenters appear to be just one election victory away.”

Fresno residents worked up about 24-hour fitness club

Plans to open a men’s fitness and social club serving the gay community 24-hours-a-day is upsetting many residents in the Fresno, Calif., area.

Shelly Cummings, who lives next door to where the club would open, is particularly displeased.

“I am not speaking against people who want to do things like that,” she tells ABC30.

“Everybody can do what they want, but for the neighborhood, it being in the middle of a neighborhood with the crime that is bad down here in Tower like it is now, I can’t see anything good

see U.S./World on 12

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FDA eases restrictions on blood donations from gay men bit.ly/1O8yuuc

New York City unveils new rules on gender discrimination bit.ly/1ZoycTA

Preliminary results: Slovenians reject same-sex marriage law bit.ly/1TgzNr4

Kathryn Knott, convicted of assault in gay couple attack, to be sentenced Feb. 8 bit.ly/1RFkQBd

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U.S./World News Notes continued from page 10 coming out of it. I see people getting hurt.”

Richie Shields, a business owner, also thinks the club will attract problems.

“The people that go there and having fun, not a problem,” he says, “but it’s the byproduct of that — the people that are walking around, maybe prostitution, littering, drug use, things like that, I don’t want to see…”

Craig Harmon, the man hoping to open the club, also operates a business called The Bunker, which is an adult club for men.

Located in the industrial part of zone [sic], it’s closing by month’s end to make way for high-speed rail.

Harmon insists the health club won’t be adult-oriented at all, but rather “a gym with a gay orientation to cater to the gay community.”

City Council Member Esmerelda Soria says, “One of the main concerns again is the 24-hour period, in addition to some being concerned with it being adult-oriented, so we’ve been tracking it, making sure we will understand what the business will bring to the neighborhood.”

A hearing was scheduled for the Fresno Planning Commission tonight [Dec. 17], but it’s been put off until the staff has more time to study the issue.

Michigan court rejects appeal in ‘cyberbullying’ case

The Michigan Supreme Court won’t get involved in the case of a state lawyer who was fired after hounding a gay student leader at the University of Michigan.

In a brief order, the court says it won’t hear an appeal from Andrew Shirvell over unemployment benefits and other issues.

In February, [a] Michigan appeals court said Shirvell was not entitled to collect unemployment benefits, rejecting claims that his off-hours activities were protected by the First Amendment, ruling Shirvell’s “conduct undermined one of the department’s specific missions — i.e. the integrity of its anti-cyberbullying campaign.”

Shirvell was fired as assistant attorney general in 2010 for an anti-gay campaign against then-20-year-old Chris Armstrong, who accused him of stalking and defaming him on an anti-gay blog and elsewhere.

For nearly six months, Shirvell waged an online campaign against Armstrong, the university’s first openly gay student president.

Shirvell used his blog to continuously attack and harass Armstrong, calling him a “radical homosexual activist,” a “racist, elitist and liar,” a Nazi, a “privileged pervert,” and “Satan’s representative on the student assembly.”

He was fired after it was determined that he used state resources and hours to conduct his campaign against Armstrong. Shirvell said he was exercising free speech rights, but his bosses said he was disrupting state business.

Armstrong later sued Shirvell, and a jury awarded him $4.5 million, which was later reduced to $3.5 million. In November, the U.S. Supreme Court refused to hear an appeal by Shirvell, and let stand the $3.5 million awarded to Armstrong.

— all stories via LGBTQ Nation (lgbtqnation.com), a qnotes media partner

Errata

In our last issue, we inadvertently had an error in our print edition with regard to the spelling of Chad Sevearance-Turner on our cover, in a headline and two captions. This has been corrected online and in our archives. We regret this error and deeply apologize for this situation.

QNotes Staff

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tell trinity

by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

Learning to control your uncontrollable obsessions Hey Trinity, How do you know when you’re obsessed versus when you’re strongly attached to someone?

And how do you control obsession?

Obsessions, Albany, NY Hey Obsessions, Everyone obsesses — and I mean everyone!

How well you control it versus how much it controls you distinguishes a “crazed” or obsessed desire from a healthy or strong attachment. When impulsiveness turns to compulsiveness or when you go from calling once a day to sleeping underneath their bedroom window every night, this is when it’s time to “snap out of it!” The key word is “control!” And, honey, the key to freedom is to keep checking in with yourself. Keep busy doing healthy things like sleeping, exercising and visiting friends, even visiting support groups such as AA, NA or SLA. Also therapy will teach you about controlling your obsessions, your compulsions and your sick, twisted, uncontrollable self. I didn’t just say that, did I? Dear Trinity, I have been dating someone for a while now.

But he gets jealous over the dumbest things, like if I go out with my friends, if I look at someone else or, God forbid, if someone talks

to me! What can I do?

Jealous Jam, San Francisco, CA Dear Jealous Jam, Jealousy is a personal insecurity that someone brings into a relationship way before the relationship ever began. When someone is jealous usually they’re not aware that it’s all about their jealousy as opposed to being about someone else or about the relationship.

So, sweetie, let him know that these jealous outbursts are “his” issues and “he” needs to deal with them by a) learning to trust himself and you, b) trusting the relationship, c) accepting that you are not cheating on him and, lastly, d) that jealousy will kill you and your relationship — unless you kill him first! Good luck.

Dearest Trinity, I’ve decided to move in with my girlfriend for a year to see if we’re compatible living together first before getting married. What are your thoughts on this?

Roommates First, Hartford, CT Dearest Roommates First, Some say, “Marriage forces a couple to make it work,” but I say living together first helps a marriage work better. Since love is “blind,” love needs time to “see” what the

a&e

hell it’s getting into, as well as time to figure out who’s in charge of cleaning, cooking, communicating and feeding the cat. If you’re going to make educated and timely decisions towards choosing the perfect mate, then, pumpkin, why not include (in those decisions) the experience of living together first? (My cartoon will give you some insight into how I’ve handled this exact situation.)

Hello Trinity, Why is it that some people have found their soulmate and some of us are still single? Am I single because I am doing something wrong?

Single Stumped, Cheyenne, WY Hello Single Stumped, There are many reasons why someone is single and someone is not! There are also many reasons why someone murders their spouse.

But, darling, on a more practical note here are: Trinity’s Ridiculous & Rational Reasons For Why You’re Still Single Ridiculous Reasons 1. You’re not attractive enough. (Then why do unattractive people find love?)

2. You’re not wealthy, witty or worldly enough!

(But there are plenty of poor, introverted, non-intelligent couples!)

3. You’re not emotionally available! (Yet, many insane people marry!)

4. Y ou’re not ready to commit sexually! (But many relationships are not based on sex!)

5. Y ou’re trying too hard! (But, people who never give up often win!)

Rational Reasons 6. You’re time hasn’t come yet! (Finding someone special does take time!)

7. Y ou’re too choosy! (Be choosy, but take risks as well!)

8. You’re not ready yet! (Self-exploration is easier when you’re single!)

9. You’re too selfish! (Relationships need compromise not constant complaining!)

10. L astly, you’re not trying hard enough! (You must keep working at it or you will never find a mate!) info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

Jan. 1-14 . 2016

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EVENTS

January-February 2016 Takeover Grand Strand New Year’s Day Party Martin’s Restaurant 7200 N. Ocean Blvd., Myrtle Beach

5 p.m.

Celebrate the new year with Takeover Grand Strand, who will host a New Year’s Day party. There will be a complementary buffet, complete with traditional southern New Year’s Day fare, as well as a cash bar. More information is available online. takeovergrandstrand.com.

SEP JAN MO

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Burlington Center SEP JAN MO Exploration Meeting Starbucks 451 Huffman Mill Rd., Burlington 7 p.m.

A conversational meeting will be held to discuss the formation of a new LGBT community center in Burlington.

The first meeting was held Dec. 7.

Meetings will continue on the first Monday of each month, except for July and September, due to holidays. More information is available via email at lgbtcenterofburlington @gmail.com or by calling 336-588-7312. on.fb.me/1m7WfIB. gofundme.com/glounge.

Continues through Jan. 10 SEP JAN MO ‘Highway 47’ Playmakers Theatre 150 Country Club Rd., Chapel Hill 7:30 p.m., plus a 2:30 p.m. show on Jan. 10 In the play “Highway 47,” writer KJ Sanchez tells the story of the high desert town where her family were original settlers under the Spanish Land Grants of 1734. Nearly 300 years later, the town went into upheaval over disputed land rights and lawsuits, with her father as a central figure in the drama. Tickets start at $15. More information and tickets are available online. playmakersrep.org

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Submit your event to our calendar!

You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a three-forone entry. All Charlotte-area events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes.com), Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce (clgbtcc.org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com).

Continues through Jan. 17 The Fourth Annual nuVoices Festival Actor’s Theatre of Charlotte 650 E. Stonewall St., Charlotte

‘Then Comes Marriage: SEP JAN MO United States Vs. Windsor and the Defeat of DOMA’ Synagogue Emanu-El 5 Windsor Dr., Charleston 7 p.m.

Roberta Kaplan, an attorney who represented Edie Windsor The Fourth Annual nuVoices Festival pro bono in will feature four plays, selected from her same-sex over 400 entries. Playwrights will take marriage up artistic residence at the theatre case before while they workshop their plays. This the Supreme year’s plays include Reginald Edmund’s Court, will “The Daughter of the Moon,” Meridith present the Friedman’s “The Luckiest People,” David story of her Valdes Greenwood’s “The Mermaid work in helping to successfully defeat Hour,” and Matthew Wells’ “Beautiful the Defense of Marriage Act, or DOMA. Day.” The play “The Mermaid Hour” A reception and book signing will follow. has an LGBT storyline, telling the tale The Alliance for Full Acceptance (AFFA) of working class parents attempting to and the synagogue’s sisterhood serve as navigate their tween daughter’s gender co-sponsors for the event. More informatransition. tion is available online. atcharlotte.org. affa-sc.org.

SEP JAN MO

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Silhouettes on a Winter’s Evening Youssef 242 242 11th Ave. N.E., Hickory 6:30 p.m.

OUTright Youth of Catawba Valley will hold its Fifth Annual Evening of Distinction, called “Silhouettes on a Winter’s Evening.” The event is a fundraiser, helping the LGBTQ youth support organization to continue their work.

Tickets are $100 per person. Tickets and more information available online. youthoutrightcv.org.

–––––––––––––––––––– The Guilford Green Foundation’s Red Party Kress Terrace 212 S. Elm St., Suite 300, Greensboro 7 p.m.

NDC Planning Session The Guilford SEP JAN MO Citrix, 120 S. West St., Green Foundation Raleigh will hold its 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. fundraising event The National Red Party, formerly known as Women’s Diversity Council Party. The event is a social, community Carolinas will hold its building affair where all LGBT commu2016 strategic plannity members and allies are welcome. ning session, which Appetizers will be available and there serves as a check-in will be a cash bar. Entertainment will be with local business and community provided by DJ Jessica Mashburn and leaders. It helps the NDC plan how to Big Beatty and the Punchbowl. $15 sugcarry out its work into the new year. gested donation collected at the door.

Registration is available online.

More information is available online. ndccarolinas.org. ggfnc.org.

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Continues on Jan. 21 Senior Luncheons Denny’s , 675 Patton Ave., Asheville LGBT Elder Advocates of Western North Carolina, in conjunction with Blue Ridge Pride Center, are partnering to facilitate educational opportunities and data exchange through senior luncheons. Exploration is underway to see about affiliating with SAGE, the national organization of LGBT elders. Dates are Jan. 7 and 14, as well as Feb. 4 and 18, and Mar. 3, 17 and 31. lgbtelderadvocatesofwnc.org. blueridgepride.org.

SEP JAN MO

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To see more upcoming events, visit goqnotes.com/calendar/

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Jan. 1-14 . 2016

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life

health and wellness

by Jack Kirven :: personal trainer, qnotes contributor

Cheating while Cheating: Strategies to mitigate the after effects of holiday feasting

Photo Credit: a-weblogiq via Dollar Photo Club

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ormally, when people talk about food, cheating is associated with eating something that is supposed to be off the menu (or not eating something that is supposed to be included as a healthy option). So, what if we take a moment to turn the notion of cheating upside down? Here’s a perspective about food I hadn’t considered until I sat down to write this article.

We’re just ending the holiday season when food is everywhere in abundance. Although the following tips are great for the season just past, it makes good sense during the rest of the year during other festive times.

If, during normal times of the year, you’re supposed to eat healthy food and avoid junk food, but you don’t… well, then you’re cheating on your diet. However, during the holidays, all those suppositions seem to get inverted. Family, friends, and co-workers will pressure you to eat horrible foods in gargantuan portions, and they may even scold you if you don’t partake. Peer pressure is a form of manipulation that nearly always goes badly.

Crazy, but true.

Hear me out: If you sneak in the chocolate and doughnuts during regular days, why not sneak in the good stuff during the holidays?

Would the notion of being subversive help you preserve your fitness and wellness gains?

You know you’re “supposed” to be eating a nine-pound slab of bacon at gramma’s place, but what if you were to break your “diet” and sneak in eating something more sensible?

Perhaps this psychology can help you remain balanced during the season of overindulgence?

I’ve always been prone to being contrary, so that alone would be enough for me. Well, that and sheer vanity. I never said I was perfect.

Perhaps you would like some insider information on how I have cheated the system?

How I have cheated on cheat days? Alright, here we go. But don’t tell your momma. I don’t want any hate mail from her claiming that I starved you at her house. This is just between you and me.

Before you go somewhere that will be doling out treats, drink 16 ounces of water and eat a handful of raw, unsalted almonds along with one ounce of the hard cheese of your choice (e.g. Romano, Cheddar, etc.). Fill your belly with something healthful, so that when you arrive your appetite is already partially slaked. You’ll be able to nibble and munch at everything for show, so no one will be able to say you’re being a party pooper. You’ll be participating, but you’ll also need to eat less to get full.

Another tactic I have used to avoid thousands of calories without looking like a humbug, is to fill a little plate with treats to walk around with. I then walk around with it all night.

Most people won’t notice that you are nursing the plate slowly, so they won’t criticize you for not sharing in the fun.

To accomplish the same for mitigating alcohol: Get a glass of mineral water with ice and a shot of grenadine. You’ll be holding some bubbly liquid with color, and no one will bother pressuring you to drink and drive or undermine your fat loss regimen.

Cheating while cheating can save you all sorts of problems during the year after, especially after the holidays, as well as other celebratory occasions. You won’t have anywhere near as much fat to lose, you won’t have to recondition yourself to eating properly, and you won’t have to contend with sugar withdrawal symptoms. Your immune system will stay stronger during cold and flu season, and you won’t have to work so hard for so long to get ready for spring and summer beach visits. This is one of the few instances where I will encourage you to cheat! : : info: Jack Kirven completed the MFA in Dance at UCLA, and earned certification as a personal trainer through NASM. His wellness philosophy is founded upon integrated lifestyles as opposed to isolated workouts. Visit him at jackkirven.com and INTEGRE8Twellness.com.

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