QNotes, Jan. 2-15, 2015

Jan 2-15 . 2015

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inside

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qnotes news & features

arts.

5 entertainment.

Church members indicted news. views.

6 News Notes: Regional Briefs 7 News Notes: U.S./World Briefs

a&e / life&style Lee Grutman: Puppet Master New year life goals Fit & Fab New Year’s resolutions Jane’s World Tell Trinity Out in Print Playing the Field Q Events Calendar Our People: Look Back

opinions & views 4 Editor’s Note 4 Guest Commentary

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Cape Fear Equality members deliver over 1,000 collected toys to Duke Partners in Caring.

The Charlotte Royals are one of many Carolinas sports leagues.

Photo Credit: Zechariah Sanders

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qnotes connect Jan. 2-15, 2015 Vol 29 No 18

arts. entertainment. news. views. goqnotes.com twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue

Paige Braddock, Matt Comer, Chris Fitrzsimon, Jon Hoppel, Lainey Millen, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Jeff Taylor, Trinity

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editor’s note

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

New movement priorities for a new year If 2014 was the year for marriage equality, what will be in store for 2015? More marriage news, no doubt. We’re still a bit of aways off from full marriage equality in all 50 states, so expect to see more advancements, and even a slight setback or two, as we continue our forward momentum on this particular issue.

As marriage continues its trend toward victory, I think it’s incumbent upon us to ask if we’re missing out on other items. I think we did in the previous 12 months, but if recent trends are any indication, we’re on the precipice of new and exciting priority shifts for our movement toward LGBT equality and justice — a movement that promises to take into account wider, more diverse perspectives and concerns.

In my last editorial of 2014 (goqnotes.com/33193/), I listed several issues I think need more attention from movement leaders and community members. Let me elaborate on some of these wishes for this new year: Protections from discrimination in employment, public accommodations and housing: 2014 saw some advances on employment and other non-discrimination protections, all the way from local levels to the federal government. In at least one instance, though, we saw a setback. Late in the year, voters in Fayetteville, Ark., repealed a city council-passed civil rights ordinance protecting LGBT people in employment and housing. I expect we’ll see more movement toward local anti-discrimination measures this year. Even in Charlotte, there’s a movement afoot to expand local public accommodations and other protections. Other local leaders and those at a statewide level should look toward getting these key local protections passed by city and county governments across the state. Movement on similar protections at the state level seems impossibly unlikely given the legislature’s control by the Republicans. By working at a local level, we can effectively bypass a state-level GOP hold-up. If Charlotte is successful in its attempts, it’ll be the first municipality in the state to extend broader public protections for LGBT people and other municipalities should take the risks to follow suit.

LGBT youth: Despite having passed a statewide, LGBT-inclusive antibullying law in 2008, North Carolina schools still remain a hostile environment for our LGBT young people. Teachers and administrators unaware of the law — or flippantly disregarding it — could be doing more to prevent anti-LGBT bullying. In some places, it remains difficult for students to organize gay-straight alliance or other LGBT student clubs on campus.

Groups like Time Out Youth Center and the Triangle’s iNSIDEoUT are working to bring young people and their adult allies together. Let’s offer them more support so they can continue their work in creating safer, more equitable spaces for our future leaders.

Immigration reform: Some LGBT people remain either silent on or opposed to full-scale comprehensive immigration reform. “That’s not our issue,” you mihgt hear some say. The great numbers of LGBT immigrants across this state might just disagree with them. Reform is particularly important for LGBT-identified immigrants from countries with anti-LGBT laws or where extreme anti-LGBT cultural prejudices put them at risk for rampant discrimination, serious injury or even death. It’s incumbent upon LGBT citizens to rise up in support of our LGBT siblings — whether they’re coming from Latin America, Africa, Russia or elsewhere — who seek to find a safer home here.

Racial profiling and racism: This issue is complex, crossing and intersecting with various movements and communities. But it’s one LGBT activists and advocacy organizations should place in their list of priorities. And we have to look toward change both outside and inside our own movement. LGBT people of color often find themselves facing discrimination from external forces, as well as inside their own community. Of all places, the LGBT community should be a safe and open space for all people, and we should be elevating the voices of LGBT people of color to lead this particular charge.

Economic justice: No person, including LGBT people, can live up to their fullest potential while battling against the weight of systemic poverty and classism. Low-income LGBT people face a range of obstacles, in education, in healthcare, in access to legal services, among others. As a movement, we should come out strongly and publicly in favor of an increase in the minimum wage. Each of us, including our LGBT siblings, deserve a living wage for their work.

A broader coalition: The issues listed here are just the tip of the iceberg. So many others deserve attention and resources, too. Issues like healthcare access and continued HIV/AIDS treatment and prevention. If we begin building toward a more diverse, more inclusive coalition-style movement, I think we can begin to tackle these issues and more. It’s time we move past single-issue organizing and embrace the full reality and diversity of our own community. : :

Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Editor: Matt Comer, x202 editor@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen, x205 production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.

Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2015 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

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guest commentary

by Chris Fitzsimon :: N.C. Policy Watch

The obvious newsmaker of 2014 for North Carolina As 2014 came to an end, newspapers and websites and television talk shows were busy with their year-in-review features, looking back at the people and events of 2014 with many of them picking a newsmaker of the year in North Carolina.

U.S. Sen.-elect Thom Tillis will be the obvious choice of many pundits.

Putting aside his right-wing political views and the damage the General Assembly he led has done to North Carolina, Tillis may deserve the nod, given that he defeated an incumbent U.S. senator in one of the most closely watched races in the country last year.

But if you are looking for the person that has made the biggest impact on the state in 2014, there’s a better choice for both sides of the political divide, President Barak Obama.

Think about it. The Republicans made the election more about Obama than anything happening in North Carolina or anything that Tillis was proposing. They distorted Obama’s record in ad after ad that blasted Democratic Sen. Kay Hagan for supporting most of his initiatives. Tillis couldn’t seem to make a public appearance without reminding voters that Hagan voted with Obama “95 percent of the time.”

It is not clear that anything Obama did cost Hagan the election when you consider the historical context — the average loss in the Senate for the party of a president in his sixth year in office is six seats, about what the Republicans picked up in November.

But if Republicans believe that the election was all about Obama’s policies, which doesn’t say much for Tillis (try to name one thing he proposed during the campaign), they ought to make Obama the newsmaker of 2014.

For progressives still smarting from the generally Republican wave across the country — though Democrats picked up seats in the General Assembly and in many local races — here’s a reason to name Obama the person who had had the biggest impact on the state — his record in office.

That’s right, despite all the demagoguery and irrational hatred of the Obama on the Right, much of what he has accomplished in his six years in office is immensely popular with many people in North Carolina and across the country.

we want your opinions and feedback Whether it’s letters to the editor (200 words or less), guest commentaries (600 words or less), web comments, general suggestions, comments or ideas, qnotes staff welcomes your input. See, without you we’d really have no reason to be here. So, we delight in hearing what our readers have to say.

Be sure to send in your thoughts, praises, criticisms and more to editor@goqnotes.com for general feedback or letters@goqnotes.com for letters to the editor. Thank you!

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news

Anti-gay N.C. church members indicted on felony kidnapping, assault against gay man Spindale church has history of cult-like, abuse allegations

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com of one of the accused, told WLOS. “Because especially my sister is not capable of doing what he’s accusing her of doing.”

Patrick Covington told the news station he is also gay and left the church with Fenner, but he denies any abuse took place at the church.

Josh Farmer, an attorney for the church, has also denied the allegations.

“They are innocent of the charges leveled against them and we look forward to proving their innocence and to their complete vindication before a trial court,” Farmer said in a statement to WSPA. “We are adamant that no one ever physically harmed Mr. Fenner… The church does NOT target members who are gay.”

Matthew Fenner alleges kidnapping and assault by members of his former church.

Photo via Facebook.

RUTHERFORDTON — Five members of an anti-LGBT church in Spindale, N.C., were indicted on several felony charges on Dec. 8, following a complaint lodged by a young gay man who says church members kidnapped him and assaulted him because of his sexual orientation.

A grand jury indicted Justin Brock Covington, Brooke McFadden Covington, Robert Louis Walker Jr. and Adam Christopher Bartley on second degree kidnapping and simple assault charges. A fifth member, Sarah Covington Anderson, was indicted on second degree kidnapping as well as simple assault and assault by strangulation. The grand jury released the indictments on Dec. 9.

All are members of The Word of Faith Fellowship, a church which has continually come under fire for its alleged cult-like behaviors and severe treatment of members, particularly young people. In 1995, the church was the subject of an “Inside Edition” report on its “blasting” techniques, in which a person is encircled by church members and subjected to highpitched shrilling sounds, screams and prayers. Blasting sessions can last anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours.

In this most recent case, 21-year-old student Matthew Fenner, a member of the church since age 16, alleges that several members targeted him because of his sexual orientation. On Jan. 29, 2013, Fenner says he was threatened with confinement for two days, slapped, strangled and verbally assaulted in an attempt, he says, to free him of “homosexual demons.”

Faith in America, a Taylorsville, N.C.-based LGBT advocacy group, has taken up Fenner’s cause.

They report in a press release: “Fenner said that at the time of the assault, he had a number of places on his back and neck that had been biopsied two weeks earlier for possible malignancy due to Fenner having cancer when he was a young boy. Fenner said members of the church who were involved with the assault ‘continued to grab at these spots resulting in much pain.’ He states in the affidavit that he believed he would have been severely beaten if he had admitted to any same-sex relations.”

Fenner has said it took several attempts — including several stalling tactics from local law enforcement and prosecutors — to get local officials to take his allegations seriously or allow him to file a formal complaint.

The church and the accused have said the allegations are not true.

“I knew it was a lie from the beginning,” Patrick Covington, a brother

Affidavit reveals extreme abuse An affidavit signed by Fenner and submitted with his complaint to local law enforcement reveals extreme abuse by several members of the church.

In the affidavit, Fenner recounts “at least three instances that resulted in Word of Faith Fellowship ganging up on me for being homosexual,” he writes.

The first took place on Jan. 27, 2013, in which Sarah Covington Anderson led a group of members in questioning Fenner about his “sin.”

Brooke Covington then threatened Fenner with confinement in the sanctuary for two days if he did not begin to confess his sins.

“By this point, Sarah began to tell me how much she couldn’t stand to be around me and that I was disgusting because of my sexual orientation,” Fenner writes in the affidavit. “I told her that I was sorry that I didn’t know what she wanted me to tell her and to which she then slapped me with a great amount of force across my left cheek. At this point I was really starting to get scared.”

A group of members then surrounded Fenner, peppering him with question.

“Deliverance soon ensued (which meant extremely rough pushing, loud screaming, and other violent measures intended to ‘break me free of the homosexual ‘demons” they so viciously despite), and I was at one point grabbed by my throat by Sarah and shaken, punched, and beaten,” Fenner continues. “I received many bruises on my collarbones, neck, chest, and shoulders.”

Fenner continues, “I had at least 15-20 college age men around me, screaming, shaking me, punching me, hitting my chest, grabbing my head, telling me to repeat different phrases, all of which caused (and have resulted in much) mental distress to high levels.”

Later in the incident, Fenner says he was surrounded again by a larger group of young men. “The pushing, screaming, hitting, and shaking ensued again, and this time with more force,” he writes. “If I so much as adjusted myself in the chair, I was knocked back down and was told to stop resisting.”

Church has past allegations Faith in America has also been involved in past cases, including allegations of abuse made in 2012 by Michael Lowry. His allegations led the U.S. Department of Justice to initiate a hate crimes investigation.

Lowry had been placed under FBI supervision, but he later recanted his story and returned to the church. According to Faith in America, Lowry has since left the church again and now claims he was manipulated into recanting his story.

Fenner is no longer a member of the church and he is now an anthropology student at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill. His mother and brother are still members of the Spindale church and testified against Fenner in the grand jury deliberations.

Faith in America says the church compares homosexuals to the “demon-possessed.” In 2012, they note, the church’s website stated, “Those who were once drug addicts, alcoholics, homosexuals, etc. are now delivered by the power of God and are living normal lives, serving God and doing his will,” though that statement has now been edited to drop the word “homosexuals.”

The church also operates an unaccredited private school, which was due to receive state funding under North Carolina’s new private school voucher program. The program has been ruled unconstitutional by a state appeals court and is awaiting a hearing at the North Carolina Supreme Court. : :

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news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen & Matt Comer

Party donates $15,000

being shot by an officer in Ferguson, Mo. earlier this year.

Following the die-in, activists marched through the mall, continuing their chants, and exiting through Nordstrom. They briefly blocked portions of Fairview Rd. While CharlotteMecklenburg Police Department officers were present, no arrests were made.

Read more about the protest and see a short video at goqnotes.com/33324/.

— M.C.

Guild sets gala date

Twirl to the World organizers present a $15,000 donation to Campus Pride.

CHARLOTTE — The sixth annual Twirl to the World Holiday Party held on Dec. 13 raised $15,000 for one of its beneficiaries, Campus Pride, a Charlotte-based national non-profit working with LGBT college and university students.

Hosts for the annual event — a non-profit group — pay for the expenses for each year’s party, allowing 100 percent of donations to go toward charities.

The party also collected stuffed animals and toys for Smart Start of Mecklenburg County, which assists at-risk families.

The $15,000 donation to Campus Pride was presented at the college advocacy group’s Dec. 17 community forum at the Levine Museum of the New South. This year’s donation, including $9,000 raised and a $6,000 match, eclipsed all past fundraising; Twirl to the World had raised over $12,800 for local charities the past five years.

This year, just under 300 people attended the event, contributing more than 270 toys for Smart Start.

This year’s event brings Twirl to the World’s fundraising totals to 2,530 toys and $27,800 to local charities and organizations.

Past charities supported by the non-profit party include Toys for Tots, Novant Health Hemby Children’s Hospital, Share-A-Bear Foundation, Time Out Youth Center and Crisis Assistance Ministry.

— M.C.

Boaters elect officers

Charlotte Town group has soiree

CHARLOTTE — The Out on the Town affinity group from Blumenthal Performing Arts Center will host a post-show party after seeing the Disney musical production of “Newsies” on Jan. 8, 9:30 p.m., at Chima Brazilian Steakhouse, 139 S. Tryon St. An RSVP is required by email to bcarter@ ncbpac.org.

For those who are not members, simply send an email to outonthetown@ncbpac.org with name, email address and address.

Although the performance appears to be sold out at press time, tickets may still be available for the performance at 7:30 p.m. in the Belk Theatre, but purchasers should visit the website or call the theater to find out more. info: ncbpac.org. 704-372-1000.

— L.M.

Lesbian theologian to speak

CHARLOTTE — Lesbian feminist theologian the Rev. Dr. Carter Heywood will visit St. Martin’s Episcopal Church, 1510 E. Seventh St., on Jan. 18. Services will be held at 8 a.m. and 10:30 a.m. Heyward will speak at both. She will also teach a class at 9:15 a.m.

Heyward was one of the first women to be ordained into the Episcopal priesthood, and St. Martin’s is her home parish. The speaking engagement marks the 40th anniversary of her ordination. info: 704-376-8441.

— M.C.

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CHARLOTTE — The One World Dragon Boat team has recently elected new officers for the coming year.

Those who will serve on the executive leadership team in 2015 are: Jan Maynard, president; Jackie Eskew, secretary; Maggie Stewart, treasurer; and Johanna DrostMitchell, member at large.

With the exception of the membership committee, which Drost-Mitchell chairs, opportunities are available for members to serve the organization in the areas of marketing, fundraising, social media and entertainment.

The crew has a new boat that was named Triumph. info: oneworlddragonboat.org.

— L.M.

Die-in held at SouthPark

CHARLOTTE — A local activist group staged a die-in and march at SouthPark Mall on the Saturday before Christmas, continuing their protests against police brutality and criminal justice system failures.

The Charlotte Activist College, with several organizers who identify as LGBT, have been leading similar protests across the city, including one blocking Independence Square at Trade and Tryon Sts. on Dec. 9.

The Dec. 20 SouthPark Mall protest began prompltly at 5 p.m. as participants dropped to the floor and an organizer shouted, “No justice, no peace.” An organizer spoke for four-and-ahalf minutes, representing the four-and-a-half hours Michael Brown laid on the street after

CHARLOTTE — The Charlotte Business Guild’s “A Giving Gala & Awards Ceremony” will be held on March 21, 7:30 p.m., at Label House, 900 NC Music Factory Blvd., Suite B6.

Attendees will be treated to hors d’oeuvres, an elegant dinner and cash bar.

Special guests include Chris Sgro, executive director of Equality North Carolina, and Charlotte City Councilmember LaWana Mayfield.

Jessica Milicevic will keep the evening’s program lively as she serves as emcee.

The Tenya Coleman Quartet will provide the entertainment, along with a house DJ. There are two ticket options to choose from. VIP costs, which comes with parking, cocktail hour room, and seating, are $95/member, $110/non-member, $155/member couple, $180/non-member couple, $75/senior-veteranmilitary, $60/student, $555/member full table of eight and $655/non-member full table of eight.

Regular cost is $70/member, $85/non-member, $130/member couple, $155/non-member couple, $50/senior-veteran-military, $35/student, $530/member full table of eight and $630/ non-member full table of eight.

Sponsorships are now being sought for the event. The six levels are: presenting, $3,000; founder, $1,500; visionary, $800; entrepreneur, $400; innovator, $200; and $100, supporter. More detailed information is available online. info/tickets: charlottebusinessguild.org.

— L.M.

Western Honorees receive award

HICKORY — Eddie Beard and Larry Johnson were presented with the Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams Legacy Award at the 17th AIDS Leadership Foothills-area Alliance Winter Gala held on Dec. 7 at Youssef 242.

Beard and Johnson have supported ALFA for over 10 years and were bestowed with the honors for their commitment to the organization.

They exemplified professional and personal commitment to their community and ALFA. Over 100 supporters were on hand for the gala which serves as a winter fundraiser for ALFA. The restaurant and local food and beverage vendors contributed toward the event.

Beard had served for a number of Catawba County organizations over the years, including ALFA, vice president, 2003-2005 and president, 2006-2007; founding member of OutRight Youth; the local chapter of the American Red Cross; and a variety of professional nursing organizations in North Carolina and across the nation. He received his Bachelors of Nursing from Lenior Rhyne University, his Masters in Nursing Administration for the University of North Carolina-Greensboro, and Doctorate of Nursing Executive Leadership from American Sentinel University.

He currently serves as senior vice president and chief nursing officer at Catawba Valley Medical Center.

Johnson serves on the ethics committee for Catawba Valley Medical Center and moderates Conversations in Ethics, a continuing education and outreach program of the hospital. During his career he has served as board member and legal counsel for a variety of non-profit organizations, including ALFA, from 2005 thru 2011, and OUTRight Youth of Catawba Valley. He is a Paul Harris Fellow with the Rotary International and a 32nd degree Mason.

Coastal Org collects toys

WILMINGTON — Cape Fear Equality, a local affiliate of Equality North Carolina, collected more than 1,000 toys over the holiday season.

They delivered them to Duke Partners in Caring on Dec. 17, to be given to children affected by HIV/AIDS. The toys were collected during Cape Fear Equality’s fifth annual Holiday Party, hosted by Ryan Lee Burris and Wes Taylor, on Dec. 14.

The group also collected food and toiletry donations distributed to those in need through the St. Jude Metropolitan Community Church Food Pantry. info: facebook.com/capefearequality — M.C.

Triangle ‘Cheating’ gets read

CARBORRO — “A Cheating Nirvana” will be presented in a play reading on Jan. 18, 1:30 p.m., at the The Arts Center, 300 E. Main St., Suite G. The Anthony Garcia-Copian play tells the tale of two gay men in 1980s New York. The comedy shows how Clem wants to settle down with his girlfriend Lupe, but has as yet shared with her that he has a life-long male companion named Tots. Clem insists that he’s not gay, but bisexual.

— L.M.

Eddie Beard and Larry Johnson holding the Legacy Award presented by ALFA.

Johnson graduated from Oklahoma State University with honors and from the University College of Law. He is licensed to practice law in a variety of state and federal courts, including the U.S. Supreme Court. Johnson is engaged in private practice in Hickory, focusing on small business, estate planning and general practice. info: alfainfo.org.

— L.M. and releases Have news or other information? Send your press releases and updates for inclusion in our News Notes: editor@goqnotes.com.

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news notes: u.s./world.

D.C. mayor signs ban on ‘ex-gay’ youth counseling

news

unscrupulous therapists from preying on vulnerable families,” said Ames.

The measure, authored by D.C. Councilmember Mary M. Cheh, received unanimous approval by the council on Dec. 2.

The practice has already been banned in California and New Jersey and attempts to overturn the bans in federal courts have been unsuccessful. Earlier this year, the U.S. Supreme Court refused to consider a challenge to California’s ban, and an anti-gay group is seeking a similar high court review of New Jersey’s ban. : : QUICK HITS —————————— A Florida man found guilty in the shooting death of a transgender woman has been sentenced to 30 years in prison. more: bit.ly/1ASyTYv

D.C. Mayor Vincent Gray signs a bill outlawing ‘ex-gay’ counseling for LGBT youth.

Photo Credit: National Center for Lesbian Rights

WASHINGTON, D.C. — District of Columbia Mayor Vincent Gray on Dec. 22 signed a bill to prohibit LGBT youth from undergoing gay-tostraight conversion therapy.

D.C. becomes the third jurisdiction — behind California and New Jersey — to pass legislation protecting LGBT youth from practices that have been determined to cause severe depression and even suicide.

The new law prohibits D.C.-licensed mental health providers from engaging in sexual orientation change efforts with patients under the age of 18.

“This law ensures that mental health practitioners can no longer abuse their power to harm young people and families by propagating the dangerous lie that there is something wrong with being LGBT or that therapy can change their core sexual orientation or gender identity,” said Samantha Ames, a staff attorney for the National Center for Lesbian Rights and #BornPerfect Campaign Coordinator.

“By signing this bill into law, Mayor Gray has taken an important step to protect the health and safety of LGBT youth and to prevent

Leaked internal documents from the Salvation Army show the religious group continues its anti-gay policies despite a public PR campaign seeking to soften the group’s past history. more: bit.ly/1xbZfas A Beijing court has ordered a psychological clinic to compensate a gay man who sued it for administering “ex-gay” electroshock therapy. more: bit.ly/1sREqdo Egypt has opened trial against 26 men charged in connection with a much-publicized raid on a gay bathhouse in Cairo. more: bit.ly/1HrR5dE

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a&e

Lee Grutman: Puppet Master One-man band Your Fuzzy Friends is goofy, playful and irreverent

Photography by Austin Caine

by Jeff Taylor :: qnotes contributor

“Here, need to do some Christmas shopping?” Lee Grutman asks upon welcoming me into his home in Plaza-Midwood.

He hands me a box full of sex toys and tells me to take whatever I like.

The Christmas shopping comment may be a joke, but he really does want me to take something home with me, if I care to, and as I peruse the comically oversized dildos, the cock ring with built-in clitoral stimulator and the rest of the most-definitely-inappropriate-for-anyone-on-my-Christmas-list items, I consider how this is, weirdly enough, a rather fitting beginning to our interview.

I’ve known Grutman for about a year or so, and this gesture definitely fits with his overall style: goofy, playful, irreverent, unabashed and straightforward. That also doubles as a fairly accurate summation of the music he makes, under the name Your Fuzzy Friends.

It helps, of course, that Grutman is a media buyer and blog content producer for the sex toy giant Adam and Eve. The items in the box were sent by various manufacturers hoping to land a distribution deal.

He has occasionally used these items for humorous blog entries or in jokey posts to his personal Facebook page. Grutman is a man who loves a good prop and a corny joke.

That becomes quickly evident to anyone who attends a Your Fuzzy Friends show, which is as much performance art as anything.

When he decided to begin playing solo after years of being in bands, Grutman knew he needed a solution to the lack of adequate spectacle normally apparent on stage when everything is riding on one individual to capture and hold an audience’s attention.

He dresses in colorful, eye catching costumes, sometimes employs friends to dance onstage with him in masks and is always armed with several puppets and large stuffed animals that

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So Grutman set out to work alone. Although not entirely.

He actually does have one non-puppet partner in Your Fuzzy Friends: musician Kelly Shane, who does all the programming for the group.

Shane lives out of town, and has only seen one Your Fuzzy Friends show so far. He doesn’t appear in any of the band’s photos or music videos.

Their song writing process sees Grutman writing the songs on guitar, sending the track to Shane to add his part, and then the two go back and forth via email until each one is satisfied with the outcome.

“It’s a fun way to work, and he’s great to work with.

He’s really easy to work with,” Grutman says.

It allows Grutman to work with a collaborator without having to be as tied down and dependent on others as he once was.

The band has released one EP and several singles, on various compilations, and Grutman says they have enough material for a full length. He plans on releasing it sometime in the coming year.

Grutman is also pleased with the place the wider Charlotte music scene has reached over the past several years.

“Seriously, everyone is good,” he enthuses. “It’d be a shorter list to tell you the bands I don’t like than the ones I like, and everyone is worked together. There’s no backbiting like you see in a lot of other scenes.”

Does that make him want to join, or start up, another band?

“No,” he says, without needing time to think.

He’s happy where he’s at now, at last fully possessing all the freedom and joy he’s been aiming at over all these years. : : more: Grutman’s Your Fuzzy Friends performs in venues across the area, including the Milestone Club, Snug Harber and others. Learn more about Grutman, download a free track, “Some of My Best Friends are Gay Unicorns,” and learn more about him at yourfuzzyfriends.blogspot.com and facebook.com/YourFuzzyFriends.

help flesh out the performance. He’s clearly having a great time up there, and it’s contagious.

“I’m hard to talk through,” he says. He’s right.

“Your Fuzzy Friends is a culmination of wanting to have as much fun as possible, and of wanting to be able to have a band without having to rely on band members,” Gruntman explains.

One of Grutman’s past bands, L.A. Tool & Die — named after an infamous gay porno from the late ‘70s — scored a pretty big indie hit with their self-released album “Fashion For the Evildoer,” reaching number 96 in the College Music Journal’s Top 200 Chart.

They had momentum on their side, but had to split up when one of the member’s personal problems finally made continuing no longer a possibility.

Never one to sit idle for long, Grutman quickly formed a new band, Fat Camp, with two other mainstays of the Charlotte music scene: Adam Phillips and Phil Shive. Fat Camp — which was in many ways a prototype for Your Fuzzy Friends, in that it featured silly, campy lyrics about gay sex, among other things, and didn’t take itself too seriously — also gained quick attention. They were named Reader’s Choice Best New Band by Creative Loafing and found fans from disparate circles while playing indie rock clubs, biker bars and punk shows.

Yet once again, Grutman found his band dissolving just as things got going. Phillips got more immersed in his other band, Amigo, and Shive began playing bass and tour managing for outsider musician David Liebe Hart, best known for his many appearances on Adult Swim’s “Tim and Eric Awesome Photography by Austin Caine Show, Great Job!”

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HEALTH & WELLNESS

New life goals and tips for a smarter, more efficient new year Getting your home, your office and your finances organized for an emotionally, financially and organizationally prosperous 2015

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

I

t’s a new year. Another 365 days in which to tackle your life goals, make new friends, visit new places. Maybe you’ll get that promotion you’ve been dreaming of or maybe it’s a longsought-after new career. Either way, you’re in store for new adventures and discoveries. As you embark on your new journeys, come back to the small things — in your home, in your office and in your finances — that can help you focus better, keep you organized and make all your new year feats even bigger successes and memory makers. Here are some handy tips and tricks for getting organized this new year.

In your home Conquer the clutter: It happens. Life overtakes us and sometimes all its accompanying baggage just piles up. Cleaning the clutter can seem daunting after it’s stacked up for some time, but make a concerted effort to keep things neat and tidy as you go — it’s quicker and ultimately more satisfying. Mark a big red “X” on your calendar once a week, once every other week or once a month on a day you’ll know you have the time to do some

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routine organizing, sorting and throwing out — three key steps in keeping the clutter at bay. Your x-ed out day could be a weekend you know you’re off work, a holiday or an evening. Separate your accumulated paperwork and other belongings into a “Keep” and “Toss” pile. Get rid of the latter and then organize what’s left.

Living simply: Another way to keep clutter and otherwise largely unused items from piling up is making a conscious choice to live a bit smaller and more simply. How many shoes do you really need? Shirts? Knick knacks? Take a personal inventory of your wardrobe, your kitchen utensils, your office supplies and other areas in your home. Pare down to the essentials, donate usable items to friends or charities who can reuse or regift the items to those in need. Revisit your “living simply” commitment once a quarter. Repeat the process for any accumulated belongings.

Daily routines: Getting into a daily routine or habit can swing two ways. Sometimes we have great habits or routines. Other times, our routines can hurt us. Choose the former. Sit down when you have some quiet time and reflect on what your average day looks like. From the time you get up to the time you come

home and go to bed, what do you do? Strike out the bad habits and make new ones. For one example, what do you do when you come home? Do you just drop your mail on the counter, never to be sorted or properly addressed until days or weeks later?

Instead, create a task or to-do list, kind of like your childhood chore list. When you come home, immediately sort through your mail. Separate into recycle, toss/shred, bills, correspondence/ other. (Getting two small bins or containers to sit on your desk or counter can help in the sorting.) When you’re done sorting, address the bills and the correspondence. In less than 15 minutes, you’ll have ensured you never let mail pile up again. Look at your daily to-do list every day and follow its steps until it becomes natural habit.

In your office A super inbox: Just like in your home, paperwork and other items can pile up at your home office or day job, sometimes

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without you even realizing. Many people have a single inbox on their desk for incoming mail, memos, to-do lists and other paperwork. Try getting a stacked inbox that can help separate the tasks. One slot can be for bills/payment logs, another for internal office memos communication or, if at home, correspondence with friends or family, a third for to-do items. Tackle once in the morning and once in the evening.

An online madhouse: Just like the physical inbox on your desk, your virtual inbox can easily become more monster than much-appreciated technological wonder. In my daily work, I use Google’s Gmail. And one of the features I love the most is its ability to automatically separate incoming mail in a few different inboxes. I use the “primary,” “social,” “promotions” and “forum” inboxes. Instead of weeding through one long list of emails in a single inbox, these separated inboxes allow you to more quickly glance over what’s come in, decide what to keep and then address what’s left over after a good, mass deletion. For me, I find that only a handful out of every 100 incoming external communication (in my case, press releases) is worth keeping. I quickly delete everything else.

Working in the cloud: If you haven’t yet experienced the wonders of working in the “cloud,” you’re in for a huge life and work changer. Before its advent, if you forgot a file at work and needed it later at home, you were out of luck. Either that, or you called a colleague who might have a copy or someone still at the office and had them email it to you. No more wasting time searching for files and wondering if it is saved on your work computer or home laptop. It sounds simple, but some haven’t yet adapted to this new technology. Sync all your files using free or near-free services like Google Drive or Dropbox. All your files on all your computers will be readily available at work, at home and on the go. Syncing also works for other data, too. Forget losing all your phone’s address book contacts. Both Apple and

life

Android products have had contact and other file syncing for a few years now. Turn the function on and see magic before your eyes.

In your finances Small cuts, big savings: Here’s a simple tip that gets passed around every time a new year crops up. It’s annual reappearance on lists of new year tips and tricks isn’t a coincidence.

It really helps. Save a bit more — sometimes a great deal over the course of a year — by making small adjustments in what you’re buying. Instead of $2 or $3 every day for a cup of java from your local coffee shop, brew your own at home. You’ll end up saving at least a couple hundred dollars over the course of a year — enough to pay a month or two of your cell phone, cable, internet or some other bill.

When you go shopping for groceries or other household items, buy in bulk. At-home vacuum sealers are relatively cheap and affordable and can help you freeze and extend the life of buying perishable goods in bulk. Paper towels, toilet paper and other essentials can also be bought more cheaply in bulk. Instead of eating out for lunch, pack one. Limit your dinner outings and cook at home; invite your friends over for a much more intimate (and cheaper) dining experience.

Shop around: Let’s face it. We live in a society that values instant gratification. But taking just a few more minutes or even a couple days to shop around for the best price can be worth it in the long run. It works for your cell phone contract renewals, home and car repairs or big-ticket purchases like new home appliances or electronics.

Budgeting: While you’re organizing your home and office, don’t forget to organize your expenses. Budgets are simple and easy, and they allow you to properly spread out your money over the long term for your best interest — whether that’s simply paying bills or saving up for future goals or emergencies. : :

DIY: Organize your space If you’re serious about organizing your home or office, don’t go out and spend big bucks on containers or other organizing systems. There are plenty of ways to bring order to chaos using cheap or free do-it-yourself solutions.

Drawer dividers: These can cost a pretty penny at a store, but you can make them yourself out of shoe boxes or other small cardboard boxes. To tidy things up and make them look neat, cut them to size in your drawers, paint them or use some cheap wallpaper or other crafty paper covering.

Bookcases and filing systems: You could spend hundreds of dollars on new ready-made bookcases or filing systems. Or, you could piece together your own unique home office or living room piece. You can get small, medium and large sized plastic storage crates, which interlock on the fronts, sides and bottoms for as little as a couple dollars a piece. Buy multiple colors and sizes and play a grown-up’s version of Legos as you create a new living room bookcase, office library or some other storage contraption. At the end of the day, you’ll have something creatively and individually inspired for your custom home organizing needs.

In the cabinets: Look under your sink. What do you see? A mess of cleaning supplies ranging from spray bottles to cans to jugs of bleach. Use a tension rod near the top of the cabinet and hang your spray bottles there. Get an old milk or egg crate from a local grocer or market. Organize your cleaning supplies by type (bathroom/kitchen, auto, carpets, clothes, etc.).

Tackle the tangles: The number of electronic gadgets crowding into our life keeps growing, especially if you have a family. If you have a central location where charging cables seem to end up lying around, you need a solution to keep them all together in one place. An easy idea? A cookie jar.

Hide all that tangled electronic mess while keeping it easily accessible. Want to cut down on different cords getting tangled together? Save a few cardboard toilet paper or towel rolls and use those to separate different cords for different appliances and gadgets. : :

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views

Guest Commentary continued from page 4 The national unemployment rate is now below six percent, down significantly from its recession high of 10 percent. Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney pledged on the campaign trail in 2012 to reduce the unemployment rate to below six percent by end of his first four-year-term.

Obama has done that two years earlier and four times as many jobs have been created during his presidency than were created in the two terms that George W. Bush was in the White House. Even conservative pundits agree that economic trends in states are far more affected by policies in Washington than by what happens in Raleigh, despite Gov. Pat McCrory’s claiming credit for the alleged Carolina Comeback.

Gas prices have fallen rapidly recently and are now below $2.50 a gallon in North Carolina.

The drop in gas prices equals at least a $75 billion tax cut for American families according to economists and that comes to about $1,100 in savings per household.

Factcheck.org reports that domestic oil production is up 70 percent and oil imports are down by 51 percent since Obama took office.

Overall corporate profits by the way are up 174 percent. This, under a president that folks on the Right like to call a Marxist.

Photo Credit: Pete Souza If it’s your retirement or investments you are worried about, the stock market keeps reaching new highs almost every week, with the Dow Jones Industrial Average closing in on 18,000 after falling to 6,500 early in 2009, just after Obama took over.

And if you are a deficit hawk, you ought to be happy too. The federal budget deficit is down almost a trillion dollars since its recession high in 2009 and last year’s deficit was the lowest since 2007 as a percentage of Gross Domestic Product.

Then there’s healthcare. Not only has the rate of uninsured Americans dropped to 13.4 percent thanks to the much-maligned Affordable Care Act,

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healthcare spending grew just 3.1 percent in 2013, the smallest increase since 1960 when the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services began keeping up with it.

Not to mention the millions of Americans with health conditions who can no longer be turned down for coverage.

That doesn’t mean there aren’t problems. There are plenty — poverty rates are still far too high, too many people are working more and making less. The inequality gap is growing, etc.

It’s worth mentioning that Obama has proposed increasing the minimum wage which is very popular in North Carolina and would help more than a million workers in the state.

And five million undocumented immigrants with children born in America no longer have to fear being ripped away from their son or daughter and being deported.

Imagine what you’d think if a presidential candidate promised lower gas prices, smaller deficits, a booming stock market, slowdowns in health spending, fewer uninsured people, unprecedented corporate profits, far lower unemployment and four times more jobs created than his predecessor.

It’s hard not to think that’s a winning platform that would help most people in North Carolina. That’s some of what this president has delivered regardless of what you heard during the campaign.

Sounds like the newsmaker of the year. : : — Chris Fitzsimon is the executive director at N.C. Policy Watch, ncpolicywatch.com.

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life

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Fit and fab:

LGBT health concerns for a new year Common health and fitness goals and tips for LGBT community members

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

N

ew year resolutions. We all make them. Many of us end up breaking them. We start out with all the greatest intentions and by a few weeks in, we’ve either forgotten our new-found commitments or given up.

Our resolutions sometimes revolve around finances or life goals. Some of us will make health or fitness resolutions.

For LGBT community members — who face a variety of unique health risks — making and keeping health-related new year resolutions is doubly important. Here are some areas to keep in mind, along with some tips, as you chart out your next year of personal growth and change.

Stop smoking: LGBT people in the U.S. are two times more likely to begin smoking than their straight counterparts, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Bisexuals, data suggests, are at even higher risks. The causes are various — social pressures and accompanying efforts to relieve stress, among them. Tobacco companies have in the past also directly targeted LGBT consumers through sponsorships and advertising.

Smoking can lead to heart disease, cancer and a broad range of other health problems. Quitting today is one of the first, most positive and most long-lasting changes you can make to better your health. Need help, resources or tips? Visit the National LGBT Tobacco Control Network at lgbttobacco.org.

Substance abuse: LGBT people are also at greater risk for other types of substance abuse or dependence, including alcohol and drug abuse. Drinking or the use of other mind-altering substances can lead to long-term health problems. In the short-term, it could

Health and Human Services say adult lesbians may not exercise lead individuals into unsafe, risky or unhealthy regularly and experience some higher rates of obesity, a leadsituations, especially in social spaces like bars. ing cause of heart disease. Gay and bisexual men experience According to the Centers for Disease Control greater risks of body image problems, in turn leading to eating and Prevention (CDC), alcohol and illegal disorders like bulimia or anorexia. Speaking to your physician drug use can contribute to increased risks for and coming up with a healthy weight goal and sticking to a plan HIV and other sexually-transmitted diseases. that includes healthier eating habits and routine, daily exercise Methamphetamine (commonly called “crystal,” can help you achieve better fitness. “crystal meth” or “speed”) is used at a higher Set goals: By far the best way to keep your resolutions is rate by gay and bisexual men. to start small and set achievable goals. For example, if you’re Some use it for highs while overweight, set a target weight and then set goals in smaller simply dancing or clubbing, increments. Check in monthly to see that you’ve met these but the drug is also used smaller weight-loss goals. As you keep these goals and see them in “party and play” (PNP) successfully playing out over several weeks, you’ll feel better, scenes — sometimes knowing you’re on track to your ultimate destination. longterm parties lasting Get tested: Gay and bisexual men, along with other men hours or even days who have sex with men (MSM) and transgender women — that comremain at higher risk for HIV infection. Recent data surveyed monly fail to and studied over the past year also show that HIV infection offer safer-sex rates continue to increase in MSM, though they are dropping alternatives. among other demographic groups. And new data released in Want to learn December shows that MSM also experienced increased rates more about getting of syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia infection, again despite help with alcohol other demographic groups experiencing dropping or stable or drug use? For rates. Setting up a regular HIV and STD testing schedule is alcohol use, visit one of the most important ways you can increase your health. charlotteaa.org for Knowing your status, whether for HIV or other STDs, enables local resources in the you to take better health precautions and, if you should test Charlotte area. The positive, opens up opportunities for treatment — the singleLGBT Center of Raleigh most important step an HIV-positive person can take. Free HIV (lgbtcenterofraleigh.com) and syphilis testing is provided by almost all local county health also hosts LGBT-inclusive departments or community groups. In Charlotte, free testing is AA meetings. In the Triad, offered at the Regional AIDS Interfaith Network, 601 E. Fifth St., Winston-Salem’s North Star LGBT each Wednesday, 5-7 p.m. The LGBT Center of Raleigh, 324 S. Community Center (northstarlgHarrington St., hosts testing each Thursday at 6 p.m. : : btcc.com) offers AA/NA and AlAnon groups. For resources, tips and information on meth Want more resources and information on LGBT health? use, visit tweaker.org, an inDownload an in-depth information and resource kit on top formation and resource portal LGBT health issues from the U.S. Department of Health and provided by the San Francisco AIDS Foundation.

Human Services at 1.usa.gov/1xIe6Jt. Fitness: LGBT people experience risks with fitness, obesity and eating orders, as well. The U.S. Department of

Happy New Year Community resolutions and wishes We asked community members and leaders to submit their New Year resolutions, hopes, dreams and wishes — for themselves, for the community, for their organizations. Here are some of the responses we received. *** Queer liberation! My resolution is to abolish capitalism, prisons, and police, with love and revolution.

— Loftin Wilson *** As a politically savvy gay man (former chairman of the Gaston County Democratic Party and current secretary of the LGBT Democrats of North Carolina, as well as a state executive committee member for the North Carolina Democratic Party) living and working in a very conservative county, I would like to see an increased involvement and awareness of the political process within

our LGBT community. Gaston County and North Carolina in general needs for our LGBT brothers and sisters and their supporters to take the lead in advocating and educating on issues of equality and social justice. Many are doing this already, yet many more are needed at the table. It is my resolution to assist in this process and to be a part of making our collective voice stronger and louder in the political arena. More LGBT representatives in political party offices, appointees on local and state boards and committees as well as candidates for elected office are needed if we are going to cement our status as equals in every sense of the word. This is our state and these are our counties, communities and neighborhoods as well. Lets stand up together and make a difference.

— Robert Kellogg, Gaston County community organizer and political activist *** As a voting rights and LGBTQ equality activist, I am hoping to advocate for greater LGBTQ participation at the HKonJ march and rally in Raleigh on Feb. 14 and to be supportive of

the transgender community ahead of the 2016 photo-ID-to-vote requirement which may present certain barriers to voting. (Get more information on HKonJ, or the “Historic Thousands on Jones Street,” march at hkonj.com/moral_march_on_raleigh.)

— Jake Gellar-Goad *** To not make any resolutions.

— Stephen Meltot

*** Judy Garland: “Well, we have a whole new year ahead of us. And wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all be a little more gentle with each other, a little more loving, and have a little more empathy, and maybe, next year at this time we’d like each other a little more.”

— Shared online by Jim Thompson

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tell trinity

by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

My boyfriend, our financial differences and what’s fair Dear Trinity, My boyfriend of four years and I decided to buy a house and move in together. I suggested that we pay the bills according to our incomes. Fifty percent from each of our paychecks would be plenty to cover the bills.

He thinks it’s unfair and wants to split it fiftyfifty. But I’ll be broke for the next 10 years.

Any ideas?

What’s Fair, Grand Rapids, MI

the bills by putting up half of each income is definitely common for couples, especially when the incomes are not the same. But if he wants more bang from your buck, tell him that you’ll sign something that says, “If we sell the house we’ll divide it up the same way it was paid for.” Otherwise the alternative is a) don’t buy a house together just yet or b) buy a house that you can afford! Sorry, honey, no one said love was easy!

Dear What’s Fair, Being with that special someone for four years does mean its time to share a home and in many cases each other’s incomes. Sharing

Hey Trinity, My partner takes care of all our financial responsibilities. But after seven years, I’m getting fed up with having to ask for things! Just

because my partner is the breadwinner, why do I often have to beg?

Passive Peeves, Memphis, TN Hey Passive Peeves, When someone is paying your way, you have to compromise by being grateful and respectful! Otherwise, pumpkin, the only way to make what doesn’t work, work is to find your own work. And, until then, keep begging, but in your sexiest outfit. (Did someone say checkbook? My cartoon sure shows how this dilemma shakes out and some wisdom to handle it!)

Dearest Trinity, Do you have any idea how to get someone that I just started dating to stop using his cellphone so much when we’re out? I really like him, but it’s so annoying!

CellHell, Montréal, QC Dearest CellHell, You mean to say that when you’re out, together, just the two of you, supposedly having a great date, that this fool thinks it’s cool to use his cellphone (except for emergencies or directions.) Maybe he’s from another planet or doesn’t have much education or maybe, darling, (drum role, please) he’s not that interested in you. When someone is interested in you, they spend their time with you not on the phone, period! So, demand that he doesn’t use his cellphone when he’s with you EXcept, of course, to order you gifts, flowers or a fabulous vacation somewhere hot, steamy and without cellphone towers!

Hello Trinity, You are always writing about dating, how to find a date, what to bring on a date and so on.”

I’m curious, what does Trinity bring on a date?

Curious, Provincetown, MA Hello Curious, I haven’t cleaned my handbag in months, but sweetie, I guess it’s time to let the rat — I mean beautiful cat — out of my big red dating bag.

So, here are…

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a&e

The Most Important Items Trinity Always Brings On A Date 1. Breath mints, chewing gum, credit cards and cash!

2. A toothbrush, contraceptives and earplugs, in case he snores.

3. A mini vodka and/or aspirins in case my date talks about himself to no end.

4. My information on a card, in my wallet in case I’m left passed out in some alley!

5. A n extra pair of undergarments and comfortable running shoes (it’s a girls’ thing)!

6. Trinity’s tips for what not to do and to do on a first date.

7. A package of tissues, handy wipes and a vibrating cellphone, if possible!

8. My first CD, “A Good Man is Hard to Find.”

9. An unsigned marriage certificate and a blood test kit — just kidding!

10. Lastly, I always leave my date’s information by my home phone and tell a friend about him, just in case his cousin is Jeffrey Dahmer. : : info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

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out in print

by Terri Schlichenmeyer :: qnotes contributor

Stephen: A ‘Soldier of Change’ “Soldier of Change: From the Closet to the Forefront of the Gay Rights Movement”

by Stephen Snyder-Hill foreword by George Takei ©2014, Potomac Books $22.95 / higher in Canada 198 pages The phone call began another very long day.

It arrived approximately 10 seconds after you walked to your desk, the first of that kind of interruption, followed by dozens of urgent (to the sender) emails and six cubicle drop-bys. Alas, you didn’t get much done that day.

Sometimes, you just want to be left alone to do your work and live your life.

Other times, as in the new book “Soldier of Change”

by Stephen Snyder-Hill, you need to stand up and speak out.

Growing up in smalltown Ohio, Stephen Snyder-Hill says he’d

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always felt “this darkness I couldn’t understand.” His

mother also noticed it, but he couldn’t explain to her that he loathed himself.

“When people say that being gay is a choice,” he says, “I always remember trying to unchoose it.” That didn’t work, though he spent his teen years trying to be like other guys, trying to work through the shame he felt.

Nearing graduation, he started thinking about joining the military; he came from a long line of soldiers and enlisting seemed like a good way to pay for college. He was first stationed in Germany, then went to Iraq as a “fire support specialist.” That was where he started journaling and where, following a friendly-fire near-miss, he decided that he was “going to finally start living my life for myself.”

That included embracing his sexuality.

After leaving the army, Snyder-Hill began the slow process of coming out and he started “feeling like maybe…my purpose on this earth was to be exactly who I am.”

He graduated from college and, realizing that he missed the military, he re-upped — just before “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” went into “full effect…”

Knowing that the military would, in essence, force him to become a “professional liar,” Snyder-Hill kept quiet about his sexuality. He endured indirect taunts from fellow soldiers and he learned to hide his love of and marriage to another man. Finally, fed up and coincidentally presented with a chance to ask a question of the 2012 Republican candidates in a national debate, he crafted a query he thought might change things.

And, he says, “I hit send.”

I liked “Soldier of Change,” but not just because of what author Stephen Snyder-Hill says. I liked the way he says it.

Reading this book is kind of like having a beer with a buddy. It’s chatty rather than stuffy with a bit of brevity sprinkled here and there, yet Snyder-Hill’s outrage comes through loud and clear as he takes his story further, writing about life as a gay man during DADT days, his activism and the work he’s done on behalf of gay and lesbian soldiers. This book is genuine, and I liked that, too.

I think this is an important story to read if you need to know where LGBT rights have been and who’s brought them forward. It’s also one to enjoy if you want an informal, easy-to-like memoir. Even in this post-DADT time, “Soldier of Change” is a book to call for. : :

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life

SPORTS

Playing the Field Sports teams help with personal fitness goals

by Jon Hoppel :: qnotes contributor In honor of our Health and Wellness issue, here is a list of Charlotte and Carolinas LGBT-friendly sports and activities to help you and your loved ones accomplish those well-intentioned New Year’s resolutions. Below you will find each sport’s location, participants, leaders and their websites for you to find more information on the group and ways to join.

One World Dragonboat Area Leagues Aquatic: One World Dragonboat Location: Ramsey Creek Park Gender: Coed President: Denise Bauer Web: oneworlddragonboat.org Bowling: Charlotte Rainbowlers Location: Centennial Lanes Gender: Coed President: Kevin Cooper Web: charlotterainbowlers.com Triad Pride Bowlers Greensboro, N.C. Location: AMF All Star Lanes Gender: Coed Board Reps: Roy Gladson, Jeff Scherer Web: triadpridebowlers.com Durham Rainbow Bowling League Durham, N.C. Location: AMF Durham Lanes Gender: Coed President: Ronald Leedy Web: facebook.com/ durhamrainbowbowling Kings and Queens Bowling Raleigh, N.C. Location: AMF Pleasant Valley Lanes Gender: Coed President: Chris Smith Web: kingsandqueens bowling.com Triangle Rainbow Bowling Raleigh, N.C. Location: AMF Pleasant Valley Lanes Gender: Coed President: Brian Mullis Web: rainbowbowling.com

Charlotte Roller Girls

Photo Credit: Denise Bauer

Fitness: Charlotte Front Runners & Walkers Location: Dowd YMCA Gender: Coed President: Steve Thomas Web: charlottefrontrunners.com Triangle Front Runners Raleigh, N.C. Location: NOSH Durham Gender: Coed Coordinator: Sara Long Web: facebook.com/ pages/Triangle-FrontRunners/103565929703807 Kickball: Stonewall Kickball League Location: Veteran’s Park Gender: Coed President: Jason Boone Web: stonewallkickball charlotte.league apps.com/ Stonewall Kickball Raleigh Raleigh, N.C. Location: Halifax Park Gender: Coed Commissioner: Jonathan Melton Web: stonewallkickballraleigh. leagueapps.com Roller Derby: Charlotte Roller Girls Location: Grady Cole Center Gender: Female President: Amie Adams Web: charlotterollergirls.com Rugby: Charlotte Royals Rugby Club Location: Tuskaseegee Park Gender: Male President: BJ Smith Web: charlotteroyals.org

Charleston Blockade Charleston, S.C. Location: Danny Jones Recreation Center Gender: Male President: Frankie Brown Web: charlestonblockade.com Softball: Carolina Softball Alliance Location: Revolution Park Gender: Coed President: Ron Tessneer Web: carolinasoftball.org Triad Softball League Winston-Salem, N.C. Location: Washington Park Gender: Coed Commissioner: Brian Rierson Web: triadsoftball.com North Carolina Softball League Raleigh, N.C. Location: Millbrook Exchange Park Gender: Coed Commissioner: Ray Stancil Web: ncsoftball.org Triangle Area Softball Association Durham, N.C. Location: Valley Springs Park, Durham; Lions Park, Raleigh; Various Fields, Cary Gender: Coed Commissioner: Renee Batchelor Web: leaguelineup.com/ miscinfo.asp?menuid=33&url= tasa&sid=1526102 Swimming: Charlotte H2O’s Swim Club Location: Mecklenberg County

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Q

C A L E N DA R JANUARY-FEBRUARY 2015 To see more upcoming events, visit goqnotes.com/calendar/ Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/

Through Jan. 4 ‘Completely Hollywood (abridged)’ UpStage in NoDa 3306 N. Davidson St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m.

Don’t miss the last three nights of Stephen Seay Productions’ “Completely Hollwood (abridged).”

Featuring six actors taking on 186 of the greatest movies of all time in just two hours.

Starring Drew Aronica, Brandon Ballard, Field Cantey, Christopher Jones, Tania Kelly and Matt Kenyon.

Tickets begin at $15. Must be 21+. stephenseayproductions.com

SEP JAN MO

00 02

Bear Coffee SEP JAN MO Nova’s Bakery 1515 South Blvd., Charlotte 6:30-10:30 p.m.

The guys get together for their first bear coffee night of the new year.

00 07

Community Forum, Part 3 SEP JAN MO Levine Museum of the New South 200 E. Seventh St., Charlotte 1-3 p.m.

The last of a three-part community conversations series. This event will be a working town hall where small groups of community members will be workshopping various issues and the entire group will create a plan of action for how to move the community forward.

All are welcome to attend!

00 10

Reconciling United Methodists Amity United Methodist Church 825 N. Estes Dr., Chapel Hill 7 p.m.

Quarterly meeting for Reconciling United Methodists. The group will make plans for its upcoming annual conference in June. rum-nc.org

SEP JAN MO

00 11

Beer Pong Tournament SEP JAN MO Sidelines Sports Bar 4544 South Blvd., Charlotte, 9 p.m.

The Charlotte Royals host their annual beer pong tournament. Proceeds benefit the rugby football team, with winners receiving a $50 prize, trophies and Royals T-shirts. $10 per person. Two-person teams. charlotteroyals.org

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Chorus auditions SEP JAN MO First Presbyterian Church 305 E. Main St., Durham 6-7 p.m.

Vox Virorum Men’s Chrous welcomes men age 18 and up to join them for their Spring 2015 season. No prepared selection is required. All male voice parts welcome. Vox Virorum (“Voice of Men”) is a men’s choral ensemble comprised of singers from the Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill region.

Rehearsals are Tuesday evenings from 7-8:30 p.m. at downtown Durham’s First Presbyterian Church. Newcomers are also invited on Jan. 20, 6-7 p.m.

Contact Jeremy at voxvirorum@ gmail.com for full details.

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Jan. 2-15 . 2015

Affirming Faith Forum LGBT Center of Raleigh 324 S. Harrington St., Raleigh 6:30-8:30 p.m.

LGBT Center of Raleigh hosts its usual fourth Friday Affirming Faith Forum. The open discussion program is a “safe place of radical hospitality.” lgbtcenterofraleigh.com

SEP JAN MO

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MLK Day Parade Uptown Charlotte 11 a.m., assembly at 8 a.m.

Join thousands for the annual Martin Luther King, Jr. Day Parade in Uptown Charlotte.

The Human Rights Campaign will march in the parade, in addition to dozens of other marching contingents. Join the HRC marching team at 8 a.m. with complimentary bagels and coffee. For more parade information, visit mlk.charlottevibe.com. The following Monday, don’t take a day off. Make it a day of service instead!

Be sure to join local HRC chapter members for an MLK Day of Service project, volunteering all day at the Regional AIDS Interfaith Network and Time Out Youth Center on Monday, Jan. 19. For more information on HRC’s parade contingent, its day of service projects and other events, including a screening of the new movie “Selma” (details to be announced), visit facebook.com/events/848339821852974/.

SEP JAN MO

Submit your event to our calendar!

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LGBT Wedding Expo SEP JAN MO Solas 419 Glenwood Ave., Raleigh 12:30-3:30 p.m.

You are invited to the second annual “Same Love, Same Rights” LGBT Wedding Expo in Raleigh.

Dozens of gay-friendly exhibitors will participate, eager to help you and your fiancee plan the ceremony of your dreams! Photographers, DJs, officiants, wedding planners, venues, jewelers, invitations and more. Free raffle giveaways, LGBT wedding planning tips and trends. samelovesamerights.com

Town Hall SEP JAN MO North Star LGBT Community Center 704 Brookstown Ave., Winston-Salem 6-8 p.m.

Hosted by El Cambio, a topical discussion of current events affecting the local LGBT community. El Cambio is a Yadkin County-based social justice organization focused on immigrant and minority rights. elcambio.webs.com

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SEP FEB MO

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HRC North Carolina Gala Charlotte Convention Center 501 S. College St., Charlotte 5:30-11 p.m.

The Human Rights Campaign presents their annual North Carolina Gala. The group expects more than 1,500 attendees at their signature local fundraising event. Information and tickets are available online. hrccarolina.org

You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a three-for-one entry. All Charlotte-area events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes. com), the LGBT Center (lgbtcharlotte.org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com).

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life

OUR PEOPLE:

Look Back The People of 2014

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com 2014 was a great year for qnotes’ “Our People” column, a casual, get-to-know you Q&A-style interview column. We sat out to broaden the diversity of experiences, perspectives, ages, genders, races and more with “Our People” last year. Looking back at 2014, we met some absolutely, fabulously amazing people. Take a trip back in time with us and get reacquainted with all the folks we got to know in 2014. Below, all our 2014 “Our People” with links to their full interviews…

Jan. 17: Chad Sevearance — “It is very odd.

I’m color blind. Orange is one of the few colors I do see. It’s always really stuck with me. It was the one color I didn’t have to look at the wrapping around the crayon to know what I was coloring with (laughs).” goqnotes.com/27037/ Feb. 14: Crys Farrar — Regarding LGBT parties and events: “Whether you’re black, Hispanic, white or what-have-you, there’s normally a diversity of attendance at the parties that are held.” goqnotes.com/27569/ Feb. 28: Alex Aguilar — “I have just always been very outgoing and have always loved dancing. If you see pictures of me as a child, I’m always at parties dancing and having fun.” goqnotes.com/27741/ March 28: Kode Brown — Regarding working at White Rabbit: “You meet lots of different types of people here. I like seeing the diversity of the gay community. It’s fun. I like that I’m comfortable being in my own skin and that I get to help other people be comfortable in theirs.” goqnotes.com/28356/ April 11: Lainey Millen — Regarding her long career in media: “ I started out doing the old cut and paste method. When the industry transitioned to digital, all I could do was giggle at how easy it was to change a font or a type size.” goqnotes.com/28817/ May 9: Ryan Kingston — Regarding his community passion: “Definitely trying to educate churches and faith communities about LGBT issues and trying to heal that relationship.” goqnotes.com/29292/ June 6: The Rev. Dawn Flynn — “I’m originally from Michigan. I now consider myself a southern belle because I moved South to go to graduate school at the University of Georgia in 1970 and never went back.” goqnotes.com/29693/ June 20: Penny Craver — On Plaza Midwood: “People realize this is a cool neigh-

borhood. You can come here and get just such a cross-section of Charlotte. A lot of arts. It’s the reason why I like this area — it’s artsy.” goqnotes.com/29891/ July 4: The Rev. Malu Fairley — “I’m not a big fan of favorites. It all depends on what mood I’m in. I just recently downloaded SoundCloud to my phone and I’m in love with that. I can switch around from Latin to deep house to Hip Hop. I love all of it.” goqnotes.com/30135/ July 18: Lee Ziglar — “Believe it or not, I would love to go to Disney World. I’ve never been before. I actually have the same birthday as Walt Disney.” goqnotes.com/30289/ Aug. 1: Richard Grimstad — “I spent a year in Germany several years ago. I really love Europe and Germany, but probably the most unique and interested and most unbelievable place I’ve visited was India.” goqnotes. com/30598/ Aug. 1: Craig Hopkins — “I’ve been to Paris, Amsterdam, London and a lot of cities in Canada. Paris is probably my favorite. I’ve been their twice and spent five weeks there.” goqnotes.com/30598/ Aug. 29: Warren Radebe — “Jazz is the most chilling and exciting music, made for people that understand music and likely want to mature.” goqnotes.com/30960/ Sept. 12: Veda Covington — “I’m passionate about [theatre] because it really helps me invest in a character and be something that I may not ever be other wise.” goqnotes.com/31129/ Sept. 26: Cameron Joyce — “A good restaurant is Cho Won Garden. It’s a Korean place. It’s not too spicy, but it’s good.” goqnotes. com/31321/ Oct. 10: Crystal Richardson — “I’ve known I wanted to be a lawyer since second grade. I had my mind made up. It was a goal of mine.” goqnotes.com/31785/ Nov. 7: Spc. Elvis Wentzel: Regarding his husband’s overseas military deployment: “He missed Valentine’s Day. He missed the one year stepping stone of us being together. He missed his birthday. He missed our one-year wedding anniversary.” goqnotes.com/32577/ Bonus: A special “Our People” was published on March 14 with our Young Professionals issue. It features all our 2014 Young Professionals. Check it out at goqnotes. com/28023/.

Playing the Field continued from page 17 Aquatic Center Gender: Coed Web: charlotteh2os.ning.com Tennis: Queen City Tennis Club Location: Park Road Park and Veteran’s Park Gender: Coed Web: qctc.org

Triangle Tennis Club Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill, N.C. Location: Millbrook Exchange Tennis Center Gender: Coed President: Scott Kauffman Web: triangletennisclub.com

Carolina Softball Alliance Photo Credit: Katie Geis

Here’s hoping that your 2015 is a healthy and active year. And even if you do not feel up to participating in these organizations, please do go out and support them. All these groups love their fans as much as they enjoy playing the sports! : : — compiled with assistance by Lainey Millen

Jan 2-15 . 2015

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Jan. 2-15 . 2015