QNotes, January 11, 2019

Jan. 11-24, 2019

qnotes

1

2

qnotes

Jan. 11-24, 2019

inside this issue

Jan. 11-24, 2019 Vol 33 No 19

connect

feature

goqnotes.com

8

front page

Graphic Design by Lainey Millen Photography: beeboys via Adobe Stock Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBTQ and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBTQ life and social justice issues.

Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Managing Editor: Jim Yarbrough, x201, editor@goqnotes.com Assoc. Editor: Lainey Millen, specialassignments@goqnotes.com Copy Editor: Torie Dominguez, torie@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen, x205, production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.

Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2019 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction.

Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

4

6

6

6 7

7

Chamber celebrates holidays, honors community members Org focus directed at transgender, seniors, people of color New index grades U.S. government on sexual, reproductive health and rights issues News Briefs LGBTQ youth protected from conversion therapy Groups experience financial growth, increased resources

a&e 14 15 16

life 10 11

Giving for Good How to Become Your Best Self

views 12

18

18

Care Weavers co-founder has spent her career tending to the care of others. Her focus on elders is a passion that is close to her heart.

PAGE 19

Spiritual Reflections: Starting anew

Working with a clean slate for the new year not only provides for a fresh start but also gives one a change to change, love one’s self and others and connect with the community.

PAGE 12

Out in Print Dishing with Buff Faye Tell Trinity

Spiritual Reflections

events charlotteobserver.com/1166/ a local news partner of The Charlotte Observer

Our People: Elizabeth Pruett

news

contributors this issue

Buff Faye, Torie Dominguez, Rev. Jolin Wilks McElroy, Lainey Millen, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Trinity

Hopes and aspirations for paying it forward

Cher: ‘Here We Go Again’ Tour Chippendales: ‘Let’s Misbehave’

SUBSCRIBE!

twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

These rates only cover a portion of our true cost, however, our goal is to serve our community Mailed 1st class from Charlotte, NC, in sealed envelope.

Subscription Rates:

☐ 1 yr - 26 issues = $48 ☐ 1/2 yr - 13 issues = $34

Mail to: P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222

______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ name:

______________________________________________________ address:

state: zip: ______________________________________________________ city:

☐ mastercard ☐ visa ☐ discover ☐ american express ______________________________________________________ credit card – check one:

card #: exp. date: ______________________________________________________ signature:

Jan. 11-24, 2019

qnotes

3

news

Chamber celebrates holidays, honors community members Event’s welcome reception and social attended by Gov. Roy Cooper

By Lainey Millen | QNotes Staff Writer

L

ast month, the Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce celebrated the holiday season in festive style, as well as conducted its final business of the calendar year with its sold out “Shimmer, Shine & Success!” event held at The Westin. The event was also graced by North Carolina Gov. Roy Cooper who spoke to those in attendance about his administration and his views about the LGBTQ business community.

Cooper reflected on the damage that HB2/HB142 did to the reputation of the state and vowed to heal those wounds and bring North Carolina back to a position of respect globally.

“The HB2 repeal was an important first step in fighting discrimination and making sure the nation knows that North Carolina is open for business,” Cooper said. “I know there is more work to do and that’s why I issued a comprehensive anti-discrimination executive order [Executive Order 24] and why I continue to support statewide anti-discrimination laws. Breaking the legislative supermajorities in November was another step forward and now we must work together to create good jobs, improve education and opportunity, protect the rights of all North Carolinians, and make our state an even better place to call home.”

He also provided statistics on the value and worth of the LGBTQ business community.

Cooper spent time during the welcome reception speaking with constituents and engaging in photo ops with attendees. He had been in Charlotte on other business and wanted to spend time with the chamber’s members and guests before he returned to Raleigh, N.C. that evening. The Board of Directors invited various elected officials, as they do annually, to the event.

After the reception, the doors opened to the ballroom where a buffet dinner was served by hotel staff and music played

4

qnotes

Jan. 11-24, 2019

Gov. Roy Cooper (center) with Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce officers, board members, speakers and 2018 award recipients. (Photo Credit: Silver Monkey Images) during the holiday party. Attendees were decked out in everything from business attire to tuxedo jackets. One attendee even had on a Christmas tie and suit. There was no shortage on merriment.

Attendees were welcomed by Jessy Miličević who served as MC for the evening’s program. She turned the mic over to chamber president Chad Turner who greeted everyone and opened up the annual business meeting and announced the election results. Officers for 2019 are: Turner, president; Bryan VanHuystee, reelected treasurer; Jen Carbuto, vice president of External Affairs; Terrence CooperBurnett, director of Communications; Emily Plauché, Bryan Segers, Hunter Doolittle and Maurice Falls, board at large, elected by the general membership of the chamber. Ciara Lilly was appointed to a vacant position as vice president of Internal Affairs.

Afterward, Miličević recognized the event partners and sponsors. She turned the podium over to Lilly, chair of LGBTBE Certification & Supplier Diversity, who shared the names of those who had received certification in 2018. Recipients were CLT Geek Inc., Higher Ground

Consulting Group LLC, Miles Enterprise Solutions, Styles by Joshua, Susan Brittain Consulting, Your Custom Catering & Events, Praelisus, Uroboros Mediations, LLC and Create-ster Marketing.

The keynote address was given by Equality North Carolina Executive Director Kendra Johnson whose words included how happy she was to be in North Carolina and doing the work she was called to do.

The major portion of the event was the presentation of the chamber’s annual awards. Receiving honors were: Wells Fargo, Corporate Partner of the Year, accepted by Brian Adcox (presented by Jason Morton, chair, Membership Experience); Charlotte Business Resources, Non-Profit of the Year, accepted by Mayor Vy Lyles and Christi Floyd, director (presented

by Jeff Dineo, LGBTBE Certification & Supplier Diversity; Praesulis, LGBTQ Business of the Year, accepted by owner Paul Kelly (presented by Lilly); Matt Stone, Matt Stone Real Estate owner, LGBTQ Professional of the Year (presented

by VanHuystee); Lilly, Higher Ground Consulting owner, Emerging Entrepreneur (presented by Natasha Tutt, LGBTBE

Certification & Supplier Diversity); Rubie Britt-Height, Mint Museum director of communications, Advocate of the Year (presented by Erin Barbee, Public Relations & Advocacy); Jen Carbuto, Intrigue Graphics art director, Ally of the Year (presented by Turner); Barbee, Aldersgate Senior Living Community, director of Mission Advancement, (Community) Leaders That Inspire, for her work with the elderly, housing and equity (presented by Nate Turner, chair, Events & Programs); Pat Cotham, (Ally) Leaders that Inspire, accepted by Charlotte City Councilmember LaWaya Mayfied (Cotham was in a commission meeting and was unable to make it to the event. She received the award for her work with the homeless and victims of violence) (presented by Tutt); Allyson Siegel, Tru-Pak president, Donaldson J. King Impact Award (presented by Turner); and Dianna Ward, Charlotte NC Tours owner and Charotte B-Cycle executive director, Teresa L. Davis Legacy Award (presented by Davis, a past president).

The second keynote of the evening was presented by Charlotte Center City Partners COO Moira Quinn, who praised the community and brought some anecdotes about her work experience to the program.

Closing remarks were given by Turner who charged attendees to look beyond today to the year ahead.

Intermittently throughout the proceedings, raffle drawings were held, with baskets and goodies contributed from sponsors and community partners. The evening was capped off with a multi-flavored cake for dessert, as well as attendees taking to the dance floor for some fun and camaraderie.

Sponsors for “Shimmer” were Wells Fargo, Tru-Pak Moving Systems, Nestlewood Realty and The Westin. Other sponsors and partners recognized were Amélie’s, PGA, AT&T, Resident Culture Brewing Company, T-Mobile, SunTrust, Aldersgate, JHG Financial, Booking.com and qnotes. : :

Jan. 11-24, 2019

qnotes

5

BRIEFS

news Org focus directed at transgender, seniors and people of color CHARLESTON, S.C. — The Alliance for Full Acceptance (AFFA) is celebrating its 20th anniversary this year and has affected change on the local level, the Post and Courier reported.

The Lowcountry organization has not shied away from controversy, nor has it ignored the needs of the community it serves. Over the years it has posted billboards, trained police officers and helped in the passage of anti-discrimination laws in towns and cities across the state.

To that end, it has refocused its efforts to include marginalized groups — transgender and gender non-binary individuals, LGBTQ seniors and communities of color. Its current executive director Chase Glenn, who is transgender, said that the climate now is filled with an increase in hate crimes against the LGBTQ community and that it was not time for complacency.

In the late 1990s a social group called Low Country Gay and Lesbian Alliance met in a back room at Ryan’s Steakhouse. That was what was available then. But that was not enough for lesbian Charlestonian Linda Ketner. She and others co-founded AFFA with promises to be out at work and in public. AFFA battled internalized homophobia by holding workshops. It became one of the organization’s core missions.

The following year saw the erection of a billboard campaign on Interstate 26 that said, “Gay and lesbian people are valued members of this community.” AFFA leaders received death threats and angry letter. A church even competed with AFFA’s billboard with one of their own damning “gays to hell,” the Post and Courier shared.

By early 2000s, AFFA had grown from a handful of members to 1,500. Nearly 200 showed up regularly at meetings and the organization appointed its first official leader, gay ex-Catholic priest Warren Redman-Gress.

This history-making moment ushered in South Carolina’s first gay rights organization to have full-time staff.

AFFA has always focused on acceptance. And, it its 20-year history, it has had to stand up to prejudice from locals. It has spent scores of funds to fight for LGBTQ rights and continues to fight against discrimination. Successes include working with the police department to have a question about sexual orientation removed from job applications, securing protective ordinances, fighting for same-sex marriage and more.

Now focus is directed on transgender acceptance and support for the aging LGBTQ population, as well as uniting with other minority groups. info: bit.ly/2RfXWY2. affa-sc.org.

— Lainey Millen

New index grades U.S. government on sexual and reproductive health and rights issues WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Center for Health and Gender Equity (CHANGE) launched the “Sexual and Reproductive Health and Rights Index: Grading U.S. Global Health Assistance” in partnership with the Global Women’s Institute at the George Washington University during December. The index is the first tool ever to critically assess the U.S. government’s global health policies and funding that impact sexual and reproductive health and rights, and measures its performance by grading it annually.

The launch of the index comes on the heels of reports of an aggressive campaign from the Trump administration to ban U.S. diplomats’ use of the terms “sexual and reproductive health,” “comprehensive sexuality education,” and other gender-related terms that are necessary to advance sexual and reproductive health and rights in U.S. global health policy.

“It is civil society’s duty to hold the U.S. government accountable to its commitments to sexual and reproductive health and rights in global health funding, and to ensure that it is transparent in its decisions,” said Serra Sippel, president of CHANGE. “For example, the White House’s grades dropped consequently from an A- in 2016 to a C- in 2017 because of the Trump administration’s expansion of the Global Gag Rule and its decision to entirely defund the United Nations Population Fund. The White House has clearly prioritized its conservative ideology over the sexual and reproductive health and rights of women and girls globally. While the White House proclaims it is protecting life through its global health assistance, its policies brazenly ignore evidence, gender, and human rights. This is why the U.S. government must be held accountable to its commitments toward sexual and reproductive health and rights for women and girls around the world.”

The U.S. government’s overall grade in 2016 was a B (85.1) and a C (76.7) in 2017. During the same years, the six federal government actors that the index measures had the following grades: (key: actor/domain), 2016/2017): White House, A- ( 92.2)/C- ( 72.6); Congress, B- ( 80.8)/C+ (78.4); U.S. Agency for International Development, B+ (87.2) A- ( 91.5); U.S. Department of State, B- ( 80.9)/B- ( 82.5); U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, D+ (69.4)/D+ (69.4); and U.S. Department of Defense, D+ (69.4)/ D+ (69.4). In addition, the U.S. government’s grades dropped significantly from 2016 to 2017 across all three domains of sexual and reproductive health and rights that the index analyzes: family planning, B- ( 81.8)/ D (65.1); maternal and child health, B (83.8)/ C+ (78); and HIV and AIDS, B+ (89.6)/ B (86.8). The index grades the White House and Congress, as well as the U.S. Agency for International Development, Department of State, Department of Health and Human Services, and Department of Defense. It uses standardized indicators to assess the actors’ policies, investments and programs across three domains of sexual and reproductive health and rights for their gender-responsiveness, responsiveness to need, basis in evidence and consistency with internationally recognized human rights principles.

The U.S. government receives an overall grade for each domain and a final composite grade for sexual and reproductive health and rights in U.S. global health assistance. The index also measures the availability of data needed to assign a grade.

Known as the transparency grade, it represents the expectation that the federal government should make data about U.S. global health assistance available, accessible and informative.

Ratings are assigned to each policy and budget-related action taken by specific actors (within their scope of power). All actors receive a grade per domain in which they do relevant work. The index also grades actors under circumstances in which the Helms Amendment and Global Gag Rule are removed and if full funding has been requested.

“The methodology of the Sexual and Reproductive Health and Rights Index is rigorously designed to be sensitive to and reflective of both negative actions contributing to restrictions on global sexual and reproductive health and rights and positive actions contributing to their expansion,” Bergen Cooper, director of policy research at CHANGE, explained. “This Index gives public access to information so that advocates can make specific, evidence-based recommendations to the U.S. government, and the government in turn can take action toward strengthening the impact of its global health assistance.” info: srhrindex.genderhealth.org.

— Lainey Millen

6

qnotes

Jan. 11-24, 2019

Elders programs announced

The Charlotte LGBT Elders group has announced that it will hold three regular program/social events on Jan. 28, Feb. 25 and March 25, 7-9 p.m., at Time Out Youth Center, 3800 Monroe Rd. Also the steering committee is working on initiatives that include application for 501(c)3 status, securing a fiscal sponsor, partnering with other aging and LGBTQ organizations around programs and activities, setting up website and regular communications, etc., as well as focusing on the establishment of a SAGE chapter. For more information, email charlottelgbtelders@gmail.com. info: facebook.com/charlottelgbtelders.

Study says gay acquaintances can change attitudes

NBC News reported that a study, “Gay Acquaintanceship and Attitudes Toward Homosexuality: A Conservative Test,” revealed that knowing just one gay acquaintance “can change hearts and minds” on LGBTQ rights. info: nbcnews.to/2QDrCOM.

NCSU’s health services goes trans-inclusive

North Carolina State University’s Student Health Services has been pushing toward expanding its services to be more transgender community inclusive, The Technician reported. info: bit.ly/2FcFhG6.

Directory listings sign-up nears

HealthHIV is collecting directory listings and updates from ASOs/CBOs from across the U.S. for their online ASO/ CBO National Directory for 2019. The compilation assists ASOs and CBOs that provide HIV, HCV, and LGBTQ health services in identifying aligned organizations, initiating partnerships, finding relevant resources and streamlining service delivery. Deadline for sign up is Jan. 18. info: tinyurl.com/ASODirectory2019.

Lesbian is first queen for Rose Parade

An 18-year-old Jewish lesbian was selected as the New Year’s Day Tournament of Roses Parade queen. Louise Deser Siskel, a high school senior, said she became the first Jewish Rose queen in the parade’s 101-year history, Jewish Telegraphic Agency reported. Not only that, she is also the first lesbian to wear the crown. Her declarations were made in an article in the Pasadena Star News. info: bit.ly/2FfmhX2.

Madonna makes surprise Stonewall appearance

On New Year’s Eve, pop star Madonna surprised patrons of New York’s Stonewall Inn when she appeared there to help kick off the new year, one that marks the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots, The Advocate reported.

Madonna has signed on as a Stonewall ambassador. info: bit.ly/2s36FOp.

Museum residents selected for 2019

Elsewhere Museum in Greensboro, N.C., has announced that 32 individuals have been awarded with 2019 residencies. Of the 32, four identify as members of the LGBTQ community. Those individuals are: Marie Alacron (they/them), Diana Laurel Caramat (she/they), Kale Roberts (all/fluctuating pronouns) and Coe Lapossy (they/them). info: goelsewhere.org.

A thousand LGBTQ youth protected from conversion therapy in 2018 LOS ANGELES, Calif. — New estimates from the Williams Institute at the University of California, Los Angeles School of Law find that 1,000 LGBTQ youth who range in ages from 13-17 will be protected from conversion therapy by a licensed health care professional in the five U.S. states that passed bans on the practice in 2018 — Washington, Hawaii, Maryland, Delaware, and New Hampshire.

Currently, there are 14 states and the District of Columbia, as well as 40 localities, which have banned health care professionals from using conversion therapy on youth. Approximately 7,000 LGBTQ youth would have received the therapy from a therapist before they turned 18 if their state had not banned the practice.

“These statewide bans protect LGBT youth from a practice that numerous professional health associations consider harmful and ineffective,” said Christy Mallory, the state and local policy director at the Williams Institute. “Public opinion polls show overwhelming support for ending the practice of conversion therapy on young people.”

In January 2018, a study by the Williams Institute provided the first estimates of U.S. youth at risk of undergoing conversion therapy before they reach adulthood. In that study, researchers estimated that 20,000 LGBTQ youth would undergo conversion therapy from a licensed health care professional before the age of 18.

Approximately 57,000 youth will receive the treatment from a religious or spiritual advisor. State laws do not prevent religious or spiritual advisors from providing conversion therapy as long as they are acting solely in a spiritual capacity.

The researchers also found that approximately 698,000 LGBTQ adults in the U.S have received conversion therapy at some point in their lives, including about 350,000 who received it as adolescents. info: williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu. photo credit: pressmaster via Adobe Stock.

— Lainey Millen

Financial growth, increased resources experienced by LGBTQ groups in fight against Trump administration BOULDER, Colo. — In a series of increasingly hostile attacks, the Trump administration has targeted LGBTQ Americans, attempting to dismantle protections secured over the last decade. In the 2018 National Movement Report, published annually by the Movement Advancement Project (MAP), analysis of the first full year under the Trump administration (Fiscal Year 2017: FY2017), as well as budget projections for 2018, found that at the end of FY2017, the participating organizations remained efficient, focused on providing vital programs and services and were supported by a diverse range of revenue sources. Cumulative in­-kind contributions increased by 52 percent, with multiple organizations reporting that the bulk of these increases were due to donated legal services to advance equality and counter the harmful and discriminatory policies of the Trump leadership team.

The report provides a comprehensive and standardized look at the LGBTQ movement’s finances across 40 major LGBTQ advocacy organizations. The total combined 2017 revenue (including in k ­ ind) for the participating organizations was $269.7 million — up 13 percent from 2016. This is the largest year-­to-­year increase in the past five years. The majority of 2017 expenses (81 percent was spent on programs and services, demonstrating that the largest LGBTQ social justice organizations operate efficiently, MAP shared.

“We have seen continued attacks on the nation’s most vulnerable populations, including the LGBT community,” said Ineke Mushovic, MAP executive director. “It is encouraging to see the rise in support of LGBT movement organizations, however, these resources are sorely needed. As the administration rolls back important nondiscrimination protections for transgender Americans, as states advance efforts to expand religious exemption laws that allow discrimination, and with the shift in the Supreme Court, LGBT people are increasingly vulnerable, and the work of LGBT organizations is critical.”

Among the key findings for organizations participating in the report, data shows that revenue and expenses are growing; there are increases in donors across the board (especially large donors); staffs better reflect broader population diversity (boards are less so); and few individuals contribute to these critical organizations. info: lgbtmap.org. photo credit: folkas.polkas via Adobe Stock.

— Lainey Millen

Jan. 11-24, 2019

qnotes

7

life

Hopes and aspirations for paying it forward Community leaders share their New Year’s resolutions Compiled by Lainey Millen | QNotes Staff Writer

T

he new year is upon us and what better time to discover and reflect on what we want this annual restart to become for us.

Carolinas LGBTQ and allied community leaders have shared their resolutions and hopes for 2019 which can be read below.

Our board is working hard in 2019 to: enhance business and professional membership to increase visibility within the Charlotte area; advocate for LGBTQ owned businesses to be included in our municipal Minority Business Enterprise (MBE) contracting and increasing the number of certified businesses in our area; provide access to our corporate partners for supplier education and contracting; create a non-profit foundation that focuses our educational, support and incubation efforts for small business owners, non-profits and entrepreneurs.

Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce Board of Directors 2019-2020 Charlotte, N.C.

Charlotte, N.C. now has 68 affirming churches, which is wonderful, with every tradition covered by at least one church (except for the Pentecostal traditions). I would like to see the Pentecostal traditions join the

8

qnotes

Jan. 11-24, 2019

ect that offers emergency funds, a food bank and a free store to underprivileged families. Paying it forward…

Jermaine Nakia Lee Founder & Artistic Director Carolinas Pride Theatre Ensemble, Owner & Operator NoDa@28th Creative Arts Studios, Charlotte, N.C.

LGBTQ community leaders resolve to work hard and hand-in-hand to pay it forward.

(Photo Credit: Photographer Name via Adobe Stock) other Christian traditions in 2019, affirming that LGBT+ people are loved by God and deserving of a safe place to worship where they are respected and affirmed.

Rev . Dawn Flynn Pastor, New Life MCC Gastonia, N.C. My mantras for 2019: “Abundance & Transformation” for my personal journey.

“Opportunities & Access” for the voices that often go unheard.

Ann Gonzales Owner, Create-ster Charlotte, N.C.

One of my New Year’s resolutions is always the same: “Be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud.” It guides my work for equality and equity and day-to-day interactions with random folks. We never know our impact on others, so work for good.

Kendra Johnson Executive Director, Equality North Carolina Raleigh, N.C. Too many friends, family and colleagues were struggling, working multiple jobs and still not making ends meet. This compelled me to establish Poor No More (PNM). PNM is a community service proj-

2019 will continue my journey of “Knowing My Why.” My hope is to continue to push the conversations on bias and how it affects and infects all of us. I look forward to learning more about my community and myself. I see so many opportunities in Charlotte to change through policy how housing is made more accessible through education and gaining better job skills. I see more opportunities for God to open doors knowing some will be difficult to walk through but also knowing that I have been given all that I need to make the first step. I dream of a city that reflects the values so many say they share oppose to turning a blind eye to those in need while personally making better choices to change our own lives. I dream of days where we push ourselves from our self see Resolutions on 10

Jan. 11-24, 2019

qnotes

9

life

Giving For Good Make an impact in your community Compiled By Lainey Millen | QNotes Staff WRITER

I

nspiration to give back to your community can come from any number of places, from a personal desire to make a difference to fulfilling a graduation requirement for community service hours. No matter the reason or the origin, chances are strong that you can make an impact.

Giving back may be as simple as writing a check to an organization that works to further a mission you care deeply about. Or it may mean paying it forward by lending a hand to put on a fundraising event in your community.

Perhaps you have a skill or talent you can share with others in the name of a good cause.

If you’re committed to contributing to your community in a meaningful way, consider one of these ideas to improve the lives of those around you:

Spend Time with the Elderly

Seniors often hold wisdom, knowledge and experience that younger generations have yet to accumulate.

Yet, as they age, a community’s oldest residents are often left alone. This is especially true of those from the LGBTQ community who may be living in an environment that may not as sensitive to their needs. And often residents feel they have to return to closeted living in order to feel safe.

Also, these days it’s less common for family members to live near one another, so “adopting” an elderly resident down the street or at the local senior housing center is a way to help monitor his or her well-being and ensure personal ties to the community are maintained. Not only can this provide a valuable service for an elderly person and his or her family, it may bring you great personal satisfaction as you learn about the community’s history through the eyes of someone who saw it evolve firsthand. Find a service organization that caters to LGBTQ elders or arrange for seniors to visit a local SAGE chapter so they have a like-minded community in which to thrive.

Donate to Non-profits

If you’re concerned your budget doesn’t stretch far enough to make a meaningful cash contribution, there are plenty of other ways you can donate to non-profit organizations in your community. Volunteer hours or even gently used items like office furniture or supplies are often in high demand. You can even donate by helping your favorite non-profit uncover new funding opportunities.

Prepare and serve a meal to an LGBTQ youth through organizations such as Time Out Youth Center, work on events as a volunteer for Pride festivals or become part of a care team for someone with HIV/AIDS.

Another example to consider is the America’s Farmers Grow Communities program, sponsored by the Monsanto Fund. It provides farmers an opportunity to help a non-profit of their choice.

Eligible farmers can enroll in the program for a chance to direct a donation to a local eligible non-profit organization. Since 2010, the program has shown a commitment to strengthening farming communities by awarding more than $29 million to nonprofits, supporting food banks, agricultural youth organizations, supplying essentials for the needy and acquiring life-saving emergency response equipment. Locally, lend a Volunteering one’s time to help others can impact one’s community. hand at a community garden which may provide (Photo Credit: Photographer Name via Adobe Stock) seasonal produce for those in need.

You may also want to lend a hand in an area soup kitchen where your time is how you pay it as creating and maintaining flower beds in public spaces forward. Simply help with meal preparation or help serve it. can help create a more welcoming, friendly environment.

And, you may want to consider investing time with an Ones like the Raymond Lanier Memorial Park in Raleigh organization like ReachOUT NC that does service projects even remember LGBTQ community leaders and volunevery month for the community at large. teers for their service. Other ideas include community cleanup initiatives and organizing groups to help with yardwork for those who are physically unable. Temple Beth El in Charlotte, N.C. has an annual event where they You are likely to have your own skills that can benefit do “mitzvah” (good deeds) across the community by way others in your community. Consider the areas where you of a variety of options for volunteers to choose, including excel and explore how your community can benefit. You gardening, among others. Also, gleaning is a viable opmight put your athletic talents to use coaching a sports tion. Produce gathered can help to feed those who may team through Stonewall Sports or lend your experience as otherwise go hungry. a human resources professional to an organization that Also, consider connecting with the work that helps disadvantaged individuals improve their employTreesCharlotte does. By helping to plant trees across the ment opportunities. If you’re good with numbers, maybe Queen City, you contribute to the goal of having a 50 pervolunteering as a financial advisor to a local non-profit cent canope in decades to come. board is worth considering.

Be a Mentor

Help Create Future Leaders

If the future vitality and well-being of your community is a priority, your giving may involve creating opportunities for future generations. Programs like Campus Pride, as well as a PFLAG chapter encourage youth to become the next generation of leaders. Some chapters award scholarships to support young individuals to pursue in higher education in their fields of study.

Plant Flower Beds

Making a community better isn’t always about dollars and cents. Simply making your hometown a more enjoyable place to be is a reward you can enjoy along with your neighbors. Special beautification projects such

Get Involved in Schools

Nearly every school district can benefit from added resources to support youth education. You may be able to help your school secure funding for a special initiative through a program such as America’s Farmers Grow Rural Education, sponsored by the Monsanto Fund, which allows farmers to nominate local public school districts to compete for merit-based STEM grants. Other options could be working through LGBTQ youth or granting organizations to fund welcoming, equitable programming for LGBTQ youth.

For more information, visit sage.org, timeoutyouth.org, campuspride.org, pflag.org, stonewallsports.leagueapps. com and AmericasFarmers.com. : :

Resolutions

continued from page 8 created boxes to Be Better. 2019 will be an amazing year as long as we take one day, one smile, one hug, one selfless act, one opportunity to forgive at a time. My hope is that any/all who read this know that you were created for greatness and you have the power to achieve all good things by believing in yourself, trusting in love, believing in a Higher Power and allowing others to be there for you to give strength when needed.

LaWana Mayfield Councilmember, City of Charlotte Charlotte, N.C. I dream of time when Queer & Trans folx would build each other up and stop allowing the hate from outside to permeate our communities. We have a rich diversity.

Let’s build not destroy each other.

Jack Register Therapist Greensboro, N.C.

10

qnotes

Jan. 11-24, 2019

2018 saw many setbacks for the LGBTQA community. We could choose to be bitter, resentful, and fearful or we can be thankful for these challenges and struggles as they are our best teachers in resilience and compassion. May 2019 bring us a peace to forgive those who have been unkind to us.

J. Wesley Thompson, MHS, PA, AAHIVS, DFAAPA Practice Manager, Amity Medical Group Charlotte, N.C. The LGBTQ Democrats of North Carolina move into 2019 with optimism, even in the midst of chaos in Washington, following the great Democratic victories in N.C. and throughout the country in the 2018 mid-term elections! We recognize there’s much work left to do and as an official North Carolina Democratic Party Auxiliary, with a seat and voice at the

table, we will continue to work within the party at the local, district, state and national levels to elevate and support legislation and resolutions that guarantee full equality for LGBTQ citizens, and others who face discrimination. We will do all that we can to continue our momentum in chapter and membership growth, to increase our visibility, our value and, of course, elect LGBTQ and allied Democrats to office in 2019.

Ginger Walker, President LGBTQ Democrats of North Carolina Charlotte, N.C. This year I am thinking about the experiences I want to have during the year. As I get older, I certainly think about time and the desire for more meaningful time with my partner, family and friends. Art has been such a big part of my life and I want to devote more time to working in my

studio, as well as visiting museums. I am deeply grateful for my health and I plan to do more to ensure I’m able to serve our community for a long time.

Rev. Debbie Warren President & CEO, RAIN Charlotte, N.C. My hope is that people working for fair and equitable communities here and abroad can take down the walls we have erected separating ourselves from one another. My personal goal is to be more engaged in that work, and more patient with people who feel left out.

Tom Warshauer Assistant Director Community Engagement, Housing & Neighborhood Services, City of Charlotte, Charlotte, N.C.

How to Become Your Best Self Introspection, Evaluation and Direction Pointers

A

sk yourself... are you truly who you want to be? Is this the life you really want? Are you living each day as your best self? What can you change today?

How would you answer those questions? Think about your daily life. Are you thriving, or going through the motions? Are your days full of work, relationships and activities that are true to your authentic self or do you feel trapped on a treadmill of responsibility? If you dream of a better life, now is the time to turn your dream into reality.

The tools you need to design a life that is fulfilling on the deepest levels are within your grasp. One such resource was written by Mike Bayer, known to the clients whose lives he has changed as Coach Mike, “Best Self” can show you how.

Bayer has helped everyone from pop stars to business executives to people just like you discover the freedom to be their best selves. By asking them and leading them to ask themselves a series of important but tough questions, such as “What are your core values?,” “Do you go to bed each day more knowledgeable than when you woke up?” and “Am I neglecting some aspect of my physical health out of fear or denial?,” he helps them see what their Best Selves and Anti-Selves really look like. As a mental health specialist, a personal development coach and a change agent, Bayer has seen the ways in which lives can improve with honesty and clarity. He understands the daily struggles people face intimately, because he’s faced — and overcame — his own, and he knows that change is possible.

By working through each of the Seven SPHERES of Life — Social, Personal, Health, Education, Relationships, Employment and Spiritual Development — “Best Self” is an accessible and interactive book that distills all of Bayer’s

Compiled By Lainey Millen | QNotes Staff WRITER wisdom into a compact, focused guide that can ignite one’s desire for change.

The Seven SPHERES of Life: Social Take a look at your social life in terms of your communication skills and dive into how you feel in your own skin when interacting with others.

Personal In attempting to be your personal best self, work to have an abundance of respect and compassion for yourself. Take care of yourself by nurturing an authentic, positive self-image to see benefits reach other spheres of your life.

Health If you’re unhealthy, it’s difficult to be your best self in other areas. The goal should be to act in your own best interests when it comes to your physical health in order to feel your best and be at your best.

Education Even if you didn’t enjoy school or believe you simply don’t like the process of taking in new information, you may still be thirsty for knowledge in areas that interest you on a deeper level. Find what quenches your unique interests and explore the best methods to learn in those areas.

Relationships From time to time, relationships can get out of balance.

However, you can be proactive about doing your part to get them back to equilibrium by determining ways to control your authenticity and what you can do when those around you aren’t reflecting their own.

Employment Determine whether you’re acting as your best self at work just as you are at home. If you can’t be yourself at work, you may be wasting valuable time. Don’t lose yourself in a fear of trying to be something you aren’t while on the job.

Spiritual Development The place within you from which goodness radiates can be described as your spiritual self. It’s where you form integrity, values and treatment of other people, so focus on aligning those traits with your vision of your best self.

Consider the Seven SPHERES in your life.

Outside resources that can help you reach your potential could come from being part of an LGBTQ chamber, attending seminars and events that foster your growth and finding a spiritual home where you are welcome as an LGBTQ individual.

Learn more about how to become your best self and take a self-assessment quiz at coachmikebayer.com/book. : : photo credit: Kheng Guan Toh via Adobe Stock

Jan. 11-24, 2019

qnotes

11

views

Starting the New Year with a Clean Slate Spiritual Reflections

BY Rev. Jolin Wilks McElroy | CONTRIBUTING WRITER Welcome to 2019! There’s something about a new year that feels like a clean slate.

As a new year begins, we make our plans.

Sometimes, those plans change our behavior for the coming year. And sometimes, those plans are only a reminder of another thing gone wrong — one more little failure in a long list, replayed as January turns to February, or as February turns to March.

So, this year, let’s be kind to ourselves and make wise choices about what we resolve. To make a plan for 2019 that will be both life-changing and worth keeping, here are a few steps that will get us on the best track…

Start here: God loves you. God loves the best things about you. God even loves the messed-up things about you. God loves your quirks and your idiosyncrasies. God “gets” you better than you have ever understood yourself. So whatever it is you resolve this year, make sure it honors the good in you that God so deeply loves.

And now consider: You are not here by accident.

There is a purpose for your life that is beyond you. Our lives are a process of figuring out what that purpose is.

Our highest calling almost always has to do with how our lives bless other people. Maybe it is living your truth out loud. Maybe it is being that adult you wish you’d had in your life as a teenager. Maybe it is teaching empathy to someone. Maybe it is in learning how to forgive. Once you start considering your purpose, you can better connect to resolutions worth making.

12

qnotes

Jan. 11-24, 2019

And, of course: There is something about you that is unique in all the world. Some people have great artistic gifts. Others can problem solve better than most. Still others are great as a silent presence for friends in need.

And some people are great at making others laugh. Over time our skill-set changes with the experiences of life. You probably already know what it is you do well. Is it singing?

Then make sure you keep on singing — and maybe branch out and sing with a group or chorus or church choir! Is it methodical problem solving? Why not volunteer for a group that needs some organizational help? Do you carry some special knowledge about how to get through something rough? A support group member or a voice of support on

a help line might be your highest use in this world. Or do you have a latent ability that needs to be developed? There are always classes and seminars on writing, or pottery, or cooking, or gardening (there are also millions of YouTube videos, if you’re short on cash for classes) that can help you develop a talent or skill that you’ve allowed to languish for far too long.

One more thing: What do you need?

Do you need time to heal from something difficult? Do you need some exercise? Do you need to focus on your health or on the health of a loved one? Do you need to experience some quiet or some community? Find a way to make a priority of giving you what you need as you ponder 2019.

You are beloved. Your life is a gift. May you, in 2019, figure out the best way to nurture the good you’ve been given and make way for God’s great love for you and for the people around you in your life. : : Jolin Wilks McElroy is pastor of First Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) at 1200 East Blvd., Charlotte, NC 28203.

She is also a co-founder of the Dilworth Soup Kitchen, serving a delicious, quality lunch every Monday, free of charge, at First Christian Church’s Fellowship Hall. First Christian Church is a small congregation that makes a big difference. Rev. McElroy will be doing a sermon series Jan. 13-Feb. 17 called “When God Gives a Gift…” about faithful living in the new year. For more information, the church website is: fcc-charlotte.org.

++++++++ Sponsored Content ++++++++

from the Rx pad……

by Rx Clinic Pharmacy, a comprehensive onsite service of Amity Medical Group

What Is In a Vaccine and Why Is It Important To Get Them?

When babies are first born, they are immune to several diseases because they receive antibodies from their mothers through the placenta. As time goes on, however, immunity fades by the first year of life, and that’s when it starts becoming important to receive your immunizations. There are several misconceptions about vaccines, such as the idea that influenza vaccines cause the flu or vaccines cause autism. These are all false. If an unvaccinated person is exposed to a certain germ, that person’s body may not be strong enough to fight it off — that’s where vaccines come into play. A vaccine contains certain components that help the immune system fight the disease-causing germs. The confusion about vaccines is partly due to the lack of knowledge of vaccines and what’s actually in them. The six components of a vaccine are: the active ingredient, adjuvants, diluents, stabilizers, preservatives, and trace ingredients.

The active ingredient is made from viruses or bacteria (antigens). An antigen is an unknown substance that the immune system wants to fight off. This is beneficial because it forces the immune system to produce proteins called antibodies, which attack the antigen. If you have a repeat exposure, the antibodies produced during the first exposure remember the antigen they first encountered, thus making it easier to fight off the disease. The active ingredient in vaccines comes in very small quantities, so it’s harmless to the human body. It can be weakened (attenuated live) or killed (inactivated).

Other components are adjuvants, diluents, and stabilizers.

Adjuvants are used to boost the immune response by keeping the

antigen near the injection site so it’s easily accessible to the body’s immune cells. Adjuvants are typically aluminum salts, such as aluminum phosphate and aluminum hydroxide. Local reactions at the injection site can be caused by these adjuvants; however, it does not result in serious or long-term issues. Diluents are liquids, such as sterile water or sterile saline, required to be mixed with the vaccine to obtain the desired concentration. Stabilizers are added to vaccines for storage and stability purposes. Stabilizers prevent the vaccine from adhering to the side of the vial. Examples of stabilizers are lactose (a sugar), monosodium glutamate (salt of amino acid), human or cow serum albumin (protein), or gelatin. Stabilizers are the reason why healthcare providers ask patients if they have a gelatin allergy.

The last two components found in vaccines are preservatives and trace components. Preservatives prevent fungal and bacterial contamination.

Phenoxyethanol (an alcohol) is a common preservative used in vaccines. Trace substances could be egg proteins, latex, yeast, and antibiotics. The trace substances found in vaccines depend on what type of vaccine they’re is and which manufacturer it comes from. The following are trace substances and which vaccine it’s commonly found in: egg proteins (influenza, measles/mumps), yeast (hepatitis B, human papillomavirus), neomycin and gentamicin antibiotics (varicella, DTaP). Latex is found in vaccine vials and syringes. All patients should be asked about allergies to these trace substances to minimize and prevent risk of anaphylactic shock.

Photo Credit: tashatuvango via Adobe Stock

By Maraya Ramdhani, PharmD Candidate

In summary, vaccines are an essential part of disease prevention, and knowledge of vaccine components might clear up some common misconceptions people have. Not only does it benefit the person receiving the vaccine, but also the rest of the community.

Diseases such as polio, rubella, and tetanus used to be common in the United States; now, they’re virtually eradicated.

For more information, refer to these resources: cdc.gov, CDC Vaccine Schedules app, your local pharmacist or primary healthcare provider.

Jan. 11-24, 2019

qnotes

13

a&e

‘How Not to Always Be Working’ Out in Print

BY terri schlichenmeyer | CONTRIBUTING WRITER “How Not to Always Be Working”

by Marlee Grace ©2018, William Morrow $16.99 / $21.00 Canada 112 pages The weekend whizzed by quickly.

What little part of weekend you had, that is, because it seems like you’re always working. Your phone’s in your hands.

Paperwork’s nearby. You get emails at all hours, and there’s no time left for you. So read “How to Not Always Be Working,” by Marlee Grace and see how to disconnect.

Almost four years ago, Marlee Grace backed herself into a corner.

She was in a faltering marriage, living in Michigan, and running a business when she decided to take up knitting to help her deal with stress. The problem was that part of her business included yarn, and when she fell in love with knitting, she realized that she couldn’t run from the stress: her hobby had become work.

Fast forward a few years. Divorced, Grace moved to Northern California and opened a new business that relies on her artistry. Still, her days of “too much” nagged at her, and so she wrote this book for people (like her) who can’t leave work at work.

The first recommendation is to get a watch, an alarm clock, and a disposable camera. The aim is to ease your reliance on your cell phone.

Next, figure out what’s work and what’s not. Which parts do you enjoy so much that you breeze through them, and which parts make you want to scream?

Be ultra-aware of the former; when you’re doing those tasks, it’s hard to remember that you’re working, which makes it difficult to disengage. With the latter, give yourself plenty of appropriate-length breaks or rewards while you’re doing them.

Make your workspace feel like notwork, especially if you work from home.

Learn to literally compartmentalize tasks; Grace suggests a box for each project, so you can put notes or ideas inside. Get rid of all apps on your phone that are not necessary (and that’s probably most of them).

Unplug, unplug, unplug by following an intriguing exercise that Grace explains here.

And finally, remember that lots of people have struggled with this, and they’ve managed to figure things out…

Fair warning: your first inclination may be to dismiss “How To Not Always Be Working” as fluffy. It is a small gifty-type book, and it is rather on the new-agey side. But it’s also got ideas that may work

qomunity

qonexions space starting at $22: call qnotes for details 704.531.9988

14

qnotes

Jan. 11-24, 2019

you need to get away from work.

“Queer” author Marlee Grace is big on list-making so — more warning! — be prepared, although she lends creativity and fun to such tasks in the most guileless way, which underscores the premise of the entire book. Through these and other exercises, readers are led to really understand what makes work feel like an evil necessity, what makes it a joy, and how to strike a balance. Reading it is somewhat like re-learning to play, but remembering that you’re a grown-up, too.

So put away your phone (really!), take out a pen, and get ready for some non-work non-thinking. With “How to Not Always Be Working,” it won’t take long for you to be a relaxation whiz. : : ‘Queer’ author Marlee Grace taking a break during her workday. (Photo Credit: Instragram)

Take the All Stars 4 Trivia Queen Quiz Dishing with Buff Faye

BY Buff Faye | CONTRIBUTING WRITER | info@bufffaye.com

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 4’ cast members. (Photo Credit: VH1) It’s that time. “RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 4” is well underway. I decided to do another one of my Drag Queen Trivia Quizzes, just for you. Take out your pen and don’t cheat by going to the bottom this time. Start your engines and may the best “trivia Queen” win!

“Kutabetch” was what All Stars 4 contestant’s original drag name?

A. Latrice Royale B. Monique Heart C. Gia Gunn D. Jasmine Masters The South Florida Pride pageantry contest is owned by what All Stars 4 drag queen?

A. Latrice Royale B. Trinity The Tuck C. Gia Gunn D. Naomi Smalls What All Stars 4 competitor once told Buff Faye she looked like Delta Burke from the television show “Designing Women?”

A. Latrice Royale B. Trinity The Tuck C. Gia Gunn D. Naomi Smalls What two All Stars 4 queens competed on a previous All Stars contest?

A. Manila Luzon & Latrice Royale B. Latrice Royale & Monique Heart C. Monique Heart & Trinity The Tuck D. Gia Gunn & Valentina What two All Stars 4 contestants appeared on “America’s Next Top Model” as guest celebrities?

A. Latrice Royale & Naomi Smalls B. Trinity The Tuck & Gia Gunn C. Gia Gunn & Valentina D. Manila Luzon & Valentina What All Stars 4 contestant was recently married this past year?

A. Latrice Royale B. Monique Heart C. Valentina D. Naomi Smalls What All Stars 4 contestant appeared with Kimora Blac in the television show “Botched?”

A. Latrice Royale B. Jasmine Masters C. Gia Gunn D. Trinity The Tuck What All Stars 4 contestant had lunch with Eureka O’Hara and Buff Faye at Dish in the gayborhood while in Charlotte?

A. Latrice Royale B. Gia Gunn C. Trinity The Tuck D. Naomi Smalls What All Stars 4 contestant said she challenged RuPaul on air about her past comments on trans people (but the confrontation was edited out of show)?

A. Trinity The Tuck B. Monique Heart C. Gia Gunn D. Money Xchange Who did an interview with Cardi B for Cosmopolitan in 2018?

A. Latrice Royale B. Monique Heart C. Gia Gunn D. Naomi Smalls Answers: 1.b, 2.a, 3.b, 4.a, 5.d, 6.a, 7.d, 8.a, 9.c, 10.d DRAG TIP: Go paint pottery the night before Cher’s in town! Just do it. (That’s how I met her last time.)

Buff Faye calls the Queen City home and enjoys helping others (plus she loves to raise money for charities). Find her at your favorite hot spots. Learn more at AllBuff.com. Follow on Twitter @BuffFaye.

SHOUT OUTS:

Join Buff Faye for the “Turn Back Time” drag brunch with Cher and all her favorite queens on Sunday, January 20 - buy tickets AllBuff.com! Part of proceeds help the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.

Jan. 11-24, 2019

qnotes

15

a&e

Middle Age: Is It Killing You? Tell Trinity

BY Trinity | CONTRIBUTING WRITER Dearest Trinity, As I reach middle age, my health, looks and sex appeal are dying out. Don’t you think dying before middle age is better than letting old age kill you?

Yours, Aging, Hollywood, FL Dearest Aging, I often lay my head on the lap of my plastic surgeon and cry for the same reason but… I’m learning to respect life, the aging process and… so must you. Dying is only attractive to people who don’t have a plan B. Now, darling, it’s time to start… raising your consciousness by visualizing the beautiful life that’s ahead and stop… dwelling on the aging process. It may also be time for a makeover and/or to get some emotional help!

Love, Trinity Hey Trinity, I was doing great until the IRS called. Now the tax auditor is making my life hell. Help!

Thanks, Audit Axed, New York City, NY Hey Axed, The one thing people fear more than God is the tax auditor. “60 Minutes” did a story showing the cruelty of an IRS audit.

The IRS said, they’re “trying to get better.”

LOL. So, pumpkin, get an accountant and/

16

qnotes

Jan. 11-24, 2019

or a lawyer friend to help you. That which doesn’t kill you will make you stronger!

(Hang in there and try not to let the IRS give you apoplexy or a nervous breakdown! And know that as with things in life, “this too shall pass” — but, hopefully, not on! Check out my cartoon to learn more, sweetie.)

Dear Trinity, I’ve been dating someone for almost a month. How many dates does it take to know if it’s working or not?

Yours, Going To Work, Dallas, TX

Dear Going To Work, Question! How long does it take for a seed to sprout? Answer: If you’re blinded by love or stricken with low self-esteem, then it may take a while to notice nothing is sprouting. If you follow your intuition, then you’ll know in a few dates. And, baby, if by five or six dates there’s still no mutual love, lust or joy then find a new gardener.

Kisses, Trinity Hello Trinity, It’s my partner! More often than not he acts as if he has no brains or common sense. I need more!

Needing More, Washington, DC Hello Needing, You can get counseling, a separation or, honey, make him read:

Trinity’s Smart Tips For Having Wisdom And Common Sense

1. JOB INTERVIEW: You arrive late, with a bad copy of your resume and refuse to take off your sunglasses. (A job interview means making the best first impression.)

2. EXPRESSING YOUR FEELINGS: Just because your lover says, “How are you?” doesn’t mean he/she want to hear all about your dramas. (Expressing yourself means talking about the bad while including the good.)

3. STUBBORNNESS: You’ve repeatedly been told, “It doesn’t work when you do that!” But you still do it. (Being open-minded means trying different things differently!)

4. HOSTING A PARTY: You throw a B.Y.O. drinks and food party and refuse to clean

up before… or play hostess during. (Giving a party means transforming your slum into a welcoming center not a do-it-yourself disaster!)

5. TRAVELING: For a week, you were a houseguest by yourself, at your in-laws, without offering to clean up after yourself or take them to dinner! (Being a houseguest means giving gifts!)

6. BOUNDARIES: So, you have an open relationship, but you often hit on your BF’s best friend and brag about it. (Dating (and life) means practicing good boundaries!)

7. MONEY: You borrow $2000 from your cousin and avoid visiting, calling or making payments. (Borrowing money means paying it back with integrity!)

8. RELATIONSHIP: Seven years together but the last two years were without sex.

Your partner says, “I’ll try anything!” and you refuse. (Relationship means working together not separately.)

9. RELIGION/POLITICS: So, you love pushing your religious and political views on people. (Talking about religion and/or politics means having healthy discussions and sharing ideas, not yelling about who’s right!)

10. SEX: You have unprotected sex with a one-night stand and then kick their drunken butt out into a snowstorm! (Sex means being responsible for your sex partner’s health and safety!)

With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com.

Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

Jan. 11-24, 2019

qnotes

17

events January 13 The Classic Black Cinema Series: ‘Odds Against Tomorrow’

January 11-20 ‘The Beyond – Georgia O’Keefe and Contemporary Art’ North Carolina Museum of Art 2110 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Tuesday-Thursday and Saturday-Sunday, 10 a.m.-9 p.m. Friday “The Beyond” exhibits painting and sculpture by the pioneering O’Keefe alongside the works of 20 emerging artists, exploring her lasting impact on the development of contemporary American art. The exhibit is ticketed with “Candida Höfer in Mexico,” a group of 25 large-format photographs of the interiors of Mexican libraries, churches, museums and more.

Admission is $18 for adults, $15 for seniors and $12 for youth. Museum members receive half-price admission. Tickets are sold for specific dates and times. bit.ly/2DZhTLI.

January 12-13 Greensboro Comicon

Greensboro Marriott Downtown 304 N. Greene St., Greensboro 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Saturday, 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Sunday Greensboro Pride counts itself among the community sponsors of this year’s festival of comic books, video games, cosplay and animation. Other area organizations joining forces with Greensboro Comicon include the International Civil Rights Museum and the Greensboro Public Library, along with retailer Ssalefish Comics & Toys. One-day admission $15 Saturday and $10 Sunday, or $25 for a weekend pass. Weekend VIP admission package $35. All employees of the Greensboro school system admitted free on Sunday. greensborocomicon.com.

Harvey B. Gantt Center for African-American Arts + Culture 551 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 2 p.m.

Harry Belafonte stars in the 1959 tale of three troubled men plotting a bank heist, their personal differences quickly threatening to derail the plan. Ages 18+. Museum admission $9, $7 for seniors, educators and college students. Free to Gantt Center members. bit.ly/2Qsrw7u.

January 14 ‘Organ at Davidson’ Series Performance

Davidson College Presbyterian Church 100 N. Main St., Davidson 7:30 p.m.

Award-winning 18-year-old Oberlin Conservatory of Music scholar Katherine Johnson performs works

by Alain, Buxtehude and Whitlock along with Bach and Mendelssohn.

The concert and subsequent artist reception are free and open to the public, though donations are accepted. For more information, call Jane D. Cain, Davidson College Presbyterian Church, at 704-8925641 or email jcain@dcpc.org. dcpc.org.

January 17 Jesse McCartney: The Resolution Tour

The Fillmore 820 Hamilton St., Charlotte 8 p.m.

The star returns to Charlotte with a show including newly released singles from his upcoming album, announced in 2018. General admission $27, meet-and-greet package $149. Standing room only. livenation.com/artists/81340.

January 18 16th Annual Legacy of Black Women Film Showcase

McGlohon Theater at Spirit Square 345 N. College St., Charlotte 6 p.m.

The legendary male review treats Queen City audiences to the show of a lifetime. 18+ only with valid ID. Tickets entitle guests to admission to select sections of the venue, but may not include seats. $25-100.

The Fillmore, 820 Hamilton St., Charlotte. 9 p.m. livenation.com/artists/306691.

18

qnotes

Jan. 11-24, 2019

Submit your events: editor@goqnotes.com

The Deltas of Charlotte Foundation, non-profit arm of the Charlotte alumnae chapter of the historically black Delta Sigma Theta sorority, presents a series of short films featuring black women at the helm as writers, producers, directors or primary subjects. This year’s event includes a student competition showcasing emerging local talent.

Reception to follow with refreshments and local vendors. Tickets $30 in advance, $40 the week of the show, with a portion of proceeds to benefit Deltas of Charlotte scholarship funds. Rated NC-17. bit.ly/2RvLlPP. deltasofcharlotte.org.

January 18-27 Queen’s Feast: Charlotte Restaurant Week

Various Locations More than 130 restaurants, representing ten counties and both Carolinas, offer prix fixe threecourse dinners for $30 or $35 per person. No tickets required, but advance reservations are strongly recommended. charlotterestaurantweek.com.

January 19, 20, 24 ‘Carmen’

Belk Theater at Blumenthal Performing Arts Center 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 8 p.m. Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday, 7:30 p.m. Thursday In one of the most famous operas of all time, a heroine who can’t be tamed rejects a wealthy and powerful suitor in favor of a bombastic bullfighter – in spite of the consequences. Presented by Opera Carolina. Tickets $22-$157. operacarolina.org/opera/carmen.

January 19 Lea DeLaria

McGlohon Theater at Spirit Square, 345 N. College St., Charlotte 8 p.m.

Most widely recognized as “Carrie ‘Big Boo’ Black” in the culture phenomenon that is “Orange is the New Black,” award-winning comedian, actor and jazz musician Lea DeLaria brings a mix of music and comedy to uptown Charlotte.

Tickets $25-$55. bit.ly/2saTf2X.

January 21 Martin Luther King, Jr. Day Celebration

February 1: Chippendales — ‘Let’s Misbehave’

January-February 2019

The Harvey B. Gantt Center for African-American Arts + Culture 551 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 9 a.m.-5 p.m.

The Gantt Center celebrates the birthday of a pioneering leader of the Civil Rights Movement with a day of guided tours; workshops devoted to performance, writing and visual art; panel discussions; film screenings; storytelling and more, all free and open to the public. bit.ly/2TuHRuj.

January 29: Cher — ‘Here We Go Again’ Tour

The inimitable performer’s long-awaited 2019 tour promotes her latest album, “Dancing Queen,” with a stop in the Queen City. Tickets $38 standard admission, official platinum seats $295-$430. VIP packages $400-$650. With special guests Nile Rodgers & CHIC. Spectrum Center, 333 E. Trade St., Charlotte. 8 p.m. spectrumcentercharlotte.com/events/ detail/cher. livenation.com/artists/81464.

January 22 Panic! at the Disco: Pray for the Wicked Tour

Spectrum Center 333 E. Trade St., Charlotte 7 p.m.

Limited seating is still available for the synth-pop-rock fixtures’ Queen City show, featuring their latest hit “High Hopes.” With special guests Two Feet. livenation.com/artists/81143.

January 25-February 16 Charlotte Ballet Innovative Works

Patricia McBride & Jean-Pierre Bonnefoux Center for Dance 701 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m. Thursday-Saturday, with 2 p.m. Saturday matinee The works of William Shakespeare are given new life in the dance company’s collaboration with UNC Charlotte scholars. Admission includes a dessert reception with performers and artistic staff following the show. Tickets $25-$80. bit.ly/2CT2AnR.

January 26 Sea Life Charlotte-Concord SweatNET Yoga

Sea Life Charlotte-Concord Aquarium 8111 Concord Mills Blvd.

9-10 a.m.

Kicking off the new year, the 26,000 square foot indoor aquarium partners with fitness specialist SweatNET for a unique silent yoga headphone experience, appropriate for all ages and levels of experience. Registration available online.

Sea Life is also celebrating Healthcare Professionals Month through February 8 with free admission for healthcare professionals with valid ID. Regular museum admission is $20 for adults and $15 for kids at the door. A $4 discount applies to online advance ticket purchases. visitsealife.com/charlotte-concord. bit.ly/2RpXKFd.

February 1 ‘So You Think You Can Bark’

Knight Theater at Levine Center for the Arts 430 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m.

Animal contestants (with a little help from force-free human trainers) learn new tricks to perform live onstage, with all ticket proceeds and advance contestant donations to benefit low-cost veterinary provider Stand for Animals’ Medical Support Fund. Adult general admission $60; free admission for one child 10 or younger is included with each adult ticket purchased. VIP tickets are $160 and include reserved seating and pre-performance reception. View “pet-testant” bios and make donations online at app.mobilecause. com/vf/BARKS. bit.ly/2Qntq9z.

February 1-2 Pink Martini and the Charlotte Symphony Orchestra

Belk Theater at Blumenthal Performing Arts Center 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m.

Multilingual crossover octet Pink Martini teams up with the Charlotte Symphony for a highenergy celebration of world music.

Tickets $30-$188. charlottesymphony.org.

February 8 ‘Rouge’

Booth Playhouse at Blumenthal Performing Arts Center 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 9 p.m. Friday-Saturday, with additional performance 5 p.m. Saturday An innovative cabaret-style showcase combining aerial acrobatics, comedy and dance. Rated PG. Tickets $90-$110. bit.ly/2FcO1vf.

REGULAR EVENTS

life

Our People: Elizabeth Pruett

Charlotte LGBT Chamber

Regular business meetings, social events and other activities throughout the year. Days and times vary. info: clgbtcc.org.

PFLAG Concord/Kannapolis

Meets for monthly group support meetings, second Tuesday of each month, 7-9 p.m., Trinity United Church of Christ, 38 Church St. N., Concord. info: bit.ly/1pCFVBq.

PFLAG Gaston

Meets for monthly support meetings, third Thursday of each month, 7 p.m., St. Mark’s Episcopal Church, 258 W. Franklin Blvd., Gastonia. info: pflaggaston.org.

Prime Timers

Monthly meeting including dinner, speaker, games and more for gay men ages 21 and up, 5-7 p.m., Park Road Baptist Church Fellowship Hall, 3900 Park Rd., Charlotte. info: primetimersww.com/charlotte/.

Stonewall Sports

Regular team sports, meet-up, social and service events throughout the year. Days and times vary. info: stonewallcharlotte.leagueapps.com.

Trans Youth Group

Time Out Youth Center hosts weekly discussion groups for transgender youth ages 13-20 each Thursday, 4:306 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org.

Transcend Charlotte

Hosts twice monthly support groups for partners, friends and family of transgender and gender non-conforming adults ages 18 and older, second and fourth Sundays of each month, 6-7 p.m., Time Out Youth Center, 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte.

Prior to each meeting an anxiety support group is offered 5-6 p.m. info: transcendcharlotte.org.

UPDATES/ADDITIONS?

Do you have a regular and reoccurring community event you’d like listed? A listing to update? Email us at editor@ goqnotes.com.

Elder Healthcare Advocate

“H

BY Torie Dominguez |qnotes staff WRITER

aving difficulty understanding the healthcare system?

Overwhelmed caring for a parent or older adult?”

Those questions, getting immediately to the heart of the matter, greet each visitor to Care Weavers’ website. Perhaps ironically, given that the company she co-founded with fellow registered nurse Cindy Hostetler was built specifically to assist caregivers in navigating the challenges of their role, Elizabeth Pruett’s ideal world would be one in which the answer to both were always a confident “no.”

The longtime local is also a longtime believer in the worth of society’s elders, and, as a result, a longtime advocate for a revolution in the field of eldercare. With a Bachelor of Science in Nursing, professional certification and three decades in the healthcare industry under her belt, Pruett has had a front-row seat to the difficulties of aging in the context of that system. Not only the elder individual, but their loved ones as well, too often find themselves lost in a labyrinth of bureaucracy, conflicts of interest, lack of concern, ignorance and isolation, to the detriment of all involved. That state of affairs, she quickly became convinced, is not something she is willing to accept.

Enter Care Weavers. Drawing on a deep personal connection to the elders in her own life in combination with a career’s worth of wisdom, Pruett set out to create change. She spoke to qnotes about the roots of her conviction, the services her company provides and how family and friends can ensure the wellbeing of their loved ones through every stage of their lives.

To begin, how long have you called the Charlotte area home?

32 years.

What led you to the decisions to pursue a career in nursing and to concentrate on eldercare? Were those choices made simultaneously, or did one follow the other?

I always enjoyed my older patients and had the great joy of having grandparents as active participants in my childhood.

Experiencing the special privilege of caring for my parents at the end of their lives was the final driver of my decision.

How would you describe the services Care Weavers provides?

Advocacy and healthcare navigation services that support our clients with complex medical issues or when transitioning to later stages of life.

How did you and co-owner Cindy Hostetler come to establish the company?

[By] working in a healthcare industry that typically serves the needs of the providers instead of those needing care.

We frequently encounter situations in which people are unprepared for navigating a system that is not designed to steer them to decisions that may be the best solutions to their specific need or desire.

Older patients can be particularly at risk in this environment where there is little time for questioning and understanding the impact of decisions.

In your experience, what’s missing from current standard practices in the eldercare industry?

Professionalism from providers and [a solution to the] lack of knowledge and low expectations from consumers. An informed, demanding consumer is what is going to change the industry.

We’ve just celebrated a suite of winter holidays, including the advent of 2019. In the coming year, what can families and friends do to ensure that a loved one whose health, living situation or financial circumstances may prevent them from attending traditional gatherings, still feels included?

If someone is unable to travel to a gathering or event, go to them instead! Don’t wait for the holidays — it is always the right time to visit with someone who is unable to get around as much as they used to!

In addition to your nursing career and extensive experience as a business owner in the healthcare field, you’ve served as a volunteer with a local organization providing hospice and palliative care. While there can be no good time to lose a loved one, do you have any advice for individuals and families forced to say goodbye in what should be a festive season?

I don’t believe advice is what anyone wants or needs at a time of loss.

And finally, what do you wish everyone knew about caring for and supporting elder members of our community?

Never assume you know what is best for someone else. Take time to understand what is important to them and what they need and want from you. : :

Jan. 11-24, 2019

qnotes

19

20

qnotes

Jan. 11-24, 2019