QNotes, January 22, 2021

Jan. 22-Feb. 4, 2021

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Jan. 22-Feb. 4, 2021

inside this issue

Jan. 22-Feb. 4, 2021 Vol 35 No 20

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contributors this issue

4 New Local LGBTQ Protections Could Set Up a Fight with the General Assembly

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Joey Amato, Joe Killian, Stan Kimer, Jack Kirven, Lainey Millen, Jesse Monteagudo, Zachary T. Porfiris, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Trinity, Jim Yarbrough Graphic Design by Chris Rudisill Photography: (Raleigh Capitol Building) Dean Shareski. CC BY-NC 2.0 license Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBTQ and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBTQ life and social justice issues.

Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Managing Editor: Jim Yarbrough, x201, editor@goqnotes.com Assoc. Editor: Lainey Millen, specialassignments@goqnotes.com Copy Editor: Maria Dominguez Production: Lainey Millen, x205, production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.

Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2021 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher.

Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff.

The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

charlotteobserver.com/1166/ a local news partner of The Charlotte Observer

news

Partnership Announced Org Gets News Prez News Briefs

Ma Rainey’s Life Makes it to Film

Queer mother of blues, Ma Rainey, is the center of the storyline in the Netflix film “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom” staring Viola Davis. Details emerge on her life from rural Georgia to concert halls and theatres across the U.S.

PAGE 14

a&e

13 Tell Trinity 14 Screen Savor: Bottom’s Up 14 Out in Print: ‘Raising Them’

Health & Wellness: COVID-19 Vaccination

life

The State of North Carolina has recently launched innoculation protocols for the COVID-19 vaccine.

Knowing how to participate in this effort and what to expect are explained for those seeking information and locations

9 Save the Date to Save

the Bartenders 11 Health & Wellness: Vaccination in N.C.

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6 It’s More Than a Farewell 6 Millen Retiring 10 Legal Eagles: Domestic

Violence Protective Orders 11 Companies Now Must Lead in Diversity and Inclusion 12 Pride Wealth Strategies:

The 5 Easiest Ways to

Save Money 15 Jesse’s Journal: In Praise of Thrift Stores

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Jan. 22-Feb. 4, 2021

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New Local LGBTQ Protections Could Set Up a Fight with the General Assembly North Carolina Legislative Watch

BY Joe Killian | Guest Contributor in it. And because we know this is During the week of Jan. 10, ultimately an ordinance that others three towns in Orange County might see and try to replicate or passed LGBTQ-inclusive nonduplicate.” discrimination ordinances, the first Beyond the political significance, since a state ban on such local several of local leaders shared that protections expired last month. these new ordinances are personal The move by the towns of for them.

Hillsborough, Carrboro and Chapel “I have a trans kid,” Hill signals the willingness of proHillsborough Commissioner Mark gressive communities to wade back Bell said. “The thought of my kid into a civil rights fight that explodin the future losing employment, ed in 2016 with the North Carolina health care or being discriminated General Assembly’s passage of against — especially under the House Bill 2 (bit.ly/38Q7Cjt). That grounds of someone’s religion — is controversial state law excluded offensive.” lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgenChapel Hill Mayor Pam der people from statewide nondisHemminger also shared that the crimination protections and ignited move is personal. Her son, a gay a political fight in the state that man, works as an emergency room drew international headlines. resident. He puts his life on the line During the week of Jan. 17, the every day in the COVID-19 panOrange County Board of County demic devastating the state and Commissioners and the Durham the nation, she said.

City Council were expected to pass “There is no reason he should similar ordinances. [Editor’s Note: be expected to be treated difNo information was available as of ferently, or not get a hotel room press time for the print version to be or any of those kinds of things,” able to provide up-to-date coverage.]

Fighting for the rights of LGBTQ North Carolinians has never been more crucial than at this time. Recently, three Hemminger said. “I want to fight Other towns, cities and counties municipalities have adopted non-discrimination ordinances after the sundowning occurred on HB2/HB142 that for a just world. I’m proud of this across the states are poised to restricted such actions. HB2/HB142 became an international embarrassment to the state’s reputation. community. I’m proud of this follow.

(Photo Credit: dusica69 via Adobe Stock) council and the collaborative work “Especially right now, it’s we’ve been doing together, where heartening to see these three comacross our state will be encouraged by these victories everyone has equal rights and munities in North Carolina — and and do the right thing for their own citizens in the everyone gets the respect they deserve.” more to come next week — reject the politics of diviweeks ahead.”

Chapel Hill Town Councilmember Karen Stegman said sion,” said Allison Scott, director of Policy & Programs at she had been waiting to cast her vote in favor of these the Campaign for Southern Equality (southernequality. new protections since she joined the council three years org). “These ordinances not only establish concrete, clear A political — and personal ago. “I’m so proud that after this vote I will be able to say protections from discrimination but also send a message — commitment to the LGBTQ community — including my wife and my that everyone deserves respect, dignity, and equality. We kids — that from this day forward not only are you welapplaud the leadership of these lawmakers and cheer on Many of the communities have been waiting years to come, but you are safe and you are protected in Chapel the momentum that these ordinances signal for LGBTQ pass these new ordinances. Some of their leaders were Hill.”

North Carolinians across the state.” elected during the HB2 fight and have spent their entire HB2 led to mass protests, lawsuits and state boycotts tenure in local government looking forward to enacting that ultimately cost the state more than half a billion LGBTQ protections.

HB2 Round Two? dollars and led to a partial repeal. But that law’s succesIn a special meeting five years ago, Carrboro’s town sor, House Bill 142 (bit.ly/3nUQ5L4), locked in place a ban council committed to passing non-discrimination protecThe new ordinances lay the ground for a new confronon new LGBTQ protections — including nondiscriminations as soon as it became possible. It’s a promise [that] tation with the General Assembly, which convened for an tion ordinances for employment and housing — until residents have never forgotten. organizational session during the week of Jan. 10 and will December 2020.

“It’s been really interesting to me to hear how many return to Raleigh Jan. 27.

HB 142 still prevents any governing body besides the people remember us having that meeting nearly five years HB2 came about when conservative lawmakers General Assembly from regulating access to multiple ago and how many people remember us making this comobjected to the Charlotte City Council passing a nonoccupancy restrooms, showers or changing facilities. mitment to our neighbors,” said council member Damon discrimination ordinance in the absence of LGBTQ Conservative lawmakers and activists had seized on this Seils. “So that’s been pretty gratifying.” protections at the state level. The legislature’s Republican issue in the HB2 fight. They based their argument on Carrboro’s ordinance goes further than Hillsborough’s majority has maintained that towns and cities going whether transgender people could choose a bathroom or Chapel Hill’s in that it lays out specific consequences farther than the state on such protections was at the root that matched their gender identity as one of safety for for violations. “Any person, firm, or corporation” violating of all that followed. women and children. the ordinance would be guilty of a Class 3 misdemeanor, Though no lawmakers have yet telegraphed their inBut LGBTQ advocates stress that the protections the ordinance reads, and subject to a $500 fine every day tentions to file legislation to block local non-discrimination lost under HB2 and HB 142 went far deeper. The three as long the discrimination continues. Each of those daily agreements, conservative activists are already calling for ordinances that passed address discrimination in housviolations “shall be deemed a separate offense.” action from Republican legislators. ing, employment and public accommodations unrelated Any violator of the ordinance would be subject to “an Tami Fitzgerald, the head of the NC Values Coalition to restrooms. That’s long overdue, advocates say, and an appropriate equitable remedy, including but not limited (ncvalues.org), has for months been warning against new important step for the state. to a mandatory or prohibitory injunction commanding local non-discrimination ordinances when the state prohi“North Carolinians have amazingly stepped up and the defendant to correct the conduct prohibited under bition against them expired. demonstrated that our state is a beautiful place to this Article.”

“Ordinances like the one you’re considering tonight be LGBTQ,” said Kendra Johnson, executive director It was important to lay out remedies and penalties for undermine fairness and freedom,” Fitzgerald told the of Equality NC (equalitync.org). “For too long, North a few different reasons, said Carrboro Mayor Lydia Lavelle.

Hillsborough Board of Commissioners before they passed Carolina has lagged behind the rest of the nation “Not that I necessarily anticipate we will have many if any their ordinance. They “advance discrimination against when it comes to protecting LGBTQ folks and creating large number of people who are violating this,” Lavelle said. people of faith” by dictating how they do business with a culture where our most vulnerable can thrive. The “But I kind of feel like we understand that it’s such a strong tides are changing, and we hope other cities and towns value to this community we wanted to have some teeth see next page u

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Jan. 22-Feb. 4, 2021

regard to LGBTQ people with no religious exemptions, Fitzgerald said.

Hillsborough Mayor Jenn Weaver, the daughter of a minister, rejected that notion. “I would offer that this reflects the values of our community,” Weaver said.

“My father was a pastoral counselor for over 40 years,” Weaver said. “He went to Union Seminary and was ordained at Binkley Baptist here and I grew up in Myers Park Baptist Church down in Charlotte. It was what I learned from my father and that upbringing that leads me to support this ordinance and the protection of all the people listed therein.”

Democratic leaders at the local and state levels acknowledge Republican reaction to the new ordinances could lead to another political standoff. But they say they’re better prepared this time around.

Democratic lawmakers say Gov. Roy Cooper will veto any new assaults on non-discrimination ordinances. Though Democrats lost seats in the General Assembly in November’s elections, they still have the votes to sustain his veto.

“I want to think optimistically that we can work across the aisle and keep those kinds of prohibitions from happening to our cities,” said State Rep. Susan Fisher (D-Buncombe) said last month in a forum on new ordinances. “But the truth of the matter is I think there are folks who were watching for this day and making plans for what they might do to reverse it or reestablish a bill like 142.”

In Carrboro, town councilmember Jacquelyn Gist said town leaders have already seen resistance to the new ordinance in a flood of form letters.

“We have gotten well over 100 emails from Christians that are entitled ‘Oppose Anti-religious liberty ordinance,’” said Gist.

Speaking as a Christian, Gist said, the ordinance is about protecting liberty — religious and otherwise — by protecting everyone’s rights. “Religious liberty to me means the liberty to believe what you want to believe,” Gist said. “It means liberty and freedom from religion as much as it means liberty to have religion.”

“The push out there to limit peoples’ religious faith and how they live it is really, really dangerous,” Gist said. “It means working toward a state religion.

What we’re doing here is working toward a government that’s free from religion. I personally believe faith is meaningless if you’re told you have to have it.”

The new ordinances may well provoke a reaction from state legislators, local leaders said — but they wouldn’t be necessary if North Carolina had state level protections.

Passing local protections makes North Carolina the 48th state that has either statewide or local protections, Lavelle said.

“So, we were really an outlier when we had the ability to do this until December 1,” she said. “Forty-seven other states either have protections like this or they allow their cities, counties, towns to do this. And so, this is not like some odd thing that we’re suddenly allowed to do here in North Carolina.”

With the state and nation badly politically divided, Democratic and Republican state leaders called for bipartisanship and mutual respect during Wednesday’s organizational session at the General Assembly. Legislators have to come to disagreements with the assumption of good faith on all sides, said Senate President Pro Tem Phil Berger (R-Rockingham).

“That way we can bicker and barter back and forth and at day’s end still see one another as a colleague, not a foe,” Berger said.

“Basic decency comes under threat when we assign base motives to each other at times of disagreement,” Berger said. “We become an unhealthy body when we conclude a difference of opinion is born from a darkness in one’s heart rather than an honest difference in one’s mind. When that happens, we do not represent our constituents in the high manner they deserve. We cannot demonize one another’s motives one day and expect to successfully work collaboratively the next.”

But the question of LBGTQ rights could put those sentiments to an early test this year.

During the HB2 debate — and in lawsuits stemming from it — Republican legislators and conservative activists have insisted that transgender identity does not exist except as untreated mental illness (bit.ly/2LEOFr1).

That position is at odds with the view of the mainstream medical community, from the doctors who actually work with transgender patients to the American Medical Association and American Psychiatric Association.

State Treasurer Dale Folwell, a conservative Republican and former state lawmaker, also opposes coverage for any transgender care through the State Employee Health Plan.

Blue Cross/Blue Shield of North Carolina, which administers the plan, recognizes gender dysphoria as a serious medical issue and covers treatments related to transition, including talk therapy, hormone therapy and gender confirmation surgery. But Folwell and the plan’s trustees — appointed by Folwell and the General Assembly — opted out of continuing to provide that coverage (bit. ly/2XZWlXD).

The Republican majority in the legislature has also resisted persistent calls to outlaw so called “conversion therapy,” a scientifically discredited practice that aims to “cure” people of being lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender. The practice is now illegal in 20 states including neighboring Virginia. But despite polls showing overwhelming bipartisan support for a ban, bills to outlaw the practice for minors in the state have not been allowed a vote.

Assuming good faith and respecting a difference of opinion becomes impossible, LGBTQ advocates say, when the members of one political party deny mainstream medical science in order to deny the rights — and very existence — of marginalized people.

“LGBTQ North Carolinians — especially transgender people like me — have lived under the trauma and erasure of antiLGBTQ laws in our state for too long,” said Scott, with the Campaign for Southern Equality.

With that history — and plenty of political fights to come — Scott said the passage of new local protections is a relief. “We live in divisive and challenging times, so seeing local communities unite to pass common sense legislation protecting their neighbors from discrimination is an inspiring breath of fresh air,” Scott said. : : This story originally appeared on NC Policy Watch, ncpolicywatch.com.

Jan. 22-Feb. 4, 2021

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It’s More than a Farewell Saying So Long is Never Easy

By Lainey Millen | QNotes Staff Writer

D

o you see it? It’s right there on my cheek. Its moisture glistens in the light, and bears the emotions that I feel at this juncture of my life.

A tear. It is one of many that will be shed as I experience the last days working as a staffer for qnotes as I begin my retirement. Yes, I am leaving. Hey, I’m celebrating my 70th birthday and I’m stepping aside to give younger people the opportunity to bring their time and talents to our readers.

But, I am not doing this lightly. The decision came after much soul searching. It was simply just the right time for me to do this. Hey, I’m an alter cocher (Yiddish for old person). It’s time for a respite!

Over the 20-plus years that I’ve been with the paper, I’ve seen a plethora of changes in our society. Some of them have been remarkable, such as the decisions of Lawrence v. Texas (sodomy laws), Obergefell and Windsor (marriage), and more recently the three anti-discrimination cases that more clearly recognized the transgender community and others. I’ve also seen the advances in HIV/ AIDS treatment, a much more embracing global acceptance of the LGBTQ individual including gender-diverse children, religious groups finding a place in their work for us to be who we are, recognizing our elders, finding solutions to homelessness, as well as the LGBTQ community being more visible in the arts, media and more. Pepper in the countless numbers of LGBTQ political voices who have come to the forefront to champion our cause. However, some of them have left me feeling sad, angry or anxious, like HB2/HB142, the Trump administration’s countless ways that it stripped civil rights from LGBTQ citizens, immigrants and Latinx people, a rise in racism and anti-Semitism, hate crimes increasing, the overwhelming disdain by the Alt-Right toward us, global cruelty, disassociation of family and friends, and others too numerous to name.

I never thought that my retirement would take place during a global pandemic. I always envisioned those early days of being a little less responsible as a respite from the years of daily deadlines. That I could head out on the road and visit family and friends whom I had not been able to see because it was always “production weekend!” I guess that will have to wait now.

Being part of qnotes during my sojourn here has been something of which I am so proud. To be able to share the

“news, views, arts and entertainment” with you readers has given me an incredible sense of accomplishment. I feel like a proud parent who with each posting sends their child off to experience the world, in hopes that it will bring satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment with each moment.

Originally hired to be the associate editor and the graphic designer for the paper, my duties were expanded to include being the de facto webmaster (I’m not a maven at this, but have learned so much in order to do what I am tasked to do), archivist and production manager, among others. Some of these responsibilities came as the needs arose, either from staff reduction or the simple desire by management for someone to fill the roles that were operating in a void. I approached each with determination to do the job well. I hope that I have fulfilled those requirements to satisfaction by management and for you readers. I was on board for the first full-color issues, too.

I’ve even lent my wisdom and experience to various interns who spent time with the paper as part of their professional growth experience. And, I’ve done all this (so far!) without missing one press deadline. I’ve worked during times of illness and also through times of immeasurable grief. After all, the news waits for no one, right?

Over the years, I have made wonderful connections with readers and contributors and will miss you so much.

Our banter and repartee have given me expansiveness in my daily living and knowing each of you has been a rare pleasure. I especially am so grateful for the graciousness of those of you who worked with me on filling the slots for Legal Eagles and Spiritual Reflections. Those two columns were first conceived by the staff at a meeting and were brought to fruition by me. Finding clergy and legal professionals who wanted to share their expertise and inspiration with our readers helped me expand my scope of the community. And, as our world found more faith-based congregations who were willing to become welcoming and affirming, that list grew. Your thoughtful messages have giv-

en readers hope during stressful circumstances. Lawyers’ messages have given everyone valuable tools to use to traverse troubling times.

For that we are eternally grateful.

My tenure has taken me to places close by and to those far away. I’ve had boots on the ground in places like Eureka Springs, Ark. for their Diversity Weekend and witnessed the horrors of the aftermath of 9/11 in New York, as well as the ancient history and current affairs throughout Israel during one of my trips there, in addition to Pride celebrations and other events across the Carolinas. My News Notes coverage has given me access to community leaders far and wide. You know who you are and how much I’ve come to admire and respect you. I’ve even had the opportunity to interview a few celebrities, too!

I’ve done all of this, not for the almighty dollar, but for the love of the work and for the community for which it serves. I have been honored over the last two-plus decades to represent your views as well as mine to a vast audience. I am so grateful for the experience.

Rest assured, even though I am leaving my jobs as associate editor and production/art director, I will not be totally abandoning you. You’ll still from time to time see my byline when there is something that I feel especially inspired to write about. qnotes has been a real home for me. I’ve had the privilege of working with some remarkable people over my tenure. I have grown and learned from their expertise. I may have lent a little to theirs as well. I especially want to thank Jim Yarbrough who offered me an opportunity many years ago to be part of this Carolinas LGBTQ news organization. His trust and confidence in me have been rewarding and heartfelt. Thank you, Jim, for the unique opportunity you gave me.

So, folks, I’m ending an era, but not my relationship with the community. I look forward to serving a larger circle in the years to come. Later! : :

Millen Retiring Long-time Staffer will be Missed

BY Jim Yarbrough | QNotes Publisher/Managing Editor CHARLOTTE, N.C. — This newspaper, qnotes, has been serving the LGBTQ community here and parts of North and South Carolina for 35 years. In that time there have only been five production managers, graphic designers, typesetters or whatever term you want to describe the art of putting the pages of a paper into the format that you see as the end reader.

Photographs have to be adjusted, copy has to be formatted, ads have to be designed and pages have to be assembled in a clear and precise way. Articles have to be posted to the website, and there is a lot of file organizing and archiving to do as well.

Lainey Millen has done this job (these job’s) for a little over 20 of the 35 years, and she is retiring. The paper is bringing on someone new to take the helm and follow in the footsteps of Millen. Her vast experience of over 40 years in the business has been a real asset to qnotes. The position will be filled, however, no one can take Lainey Millen‘s place.

Now on a personal note…

Lainey has been a tremendous asset to the qnotes team for two decades. I have never worked with anyone who has the work ethic she has. She has always gotten the job done. No matter the challenges that come up and trust me, challenges pop up all the time. It may be that an ad comes in late, a writer misses the deadline or Mother Nature decides she wants to pound us with snow and ice.

Lainey is like the Energizer Bunny — she keeps on going.

Even in sickness, grief or work overload with other clients.

She has always gotten the job done. Even if it’s 5 a.m., it gets done.

Thank you Lainey for all your help, all the fun times, the difficult times and the times that you have been a part of sharing with the community some of the best and worst news we could report on. Thank you for the stories you have penned, the interviews you have done as well as the 20-plus years of production work you have done, and done with such dedication. You will be missed!!! : :

Lainey Millen (left) and Jim Yarbrough working at a previous Pride festival.

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Jan. 22-Feb. 4, 2021

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news Chamber Announces First Sustaining Corporate Partner

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce announced that Sonoco has become their first Sustaining Corporate Partner.

Sonoco believes that to achieve their goals relating to sustainability, it is critical that they establish a capable, qualified, competitive, and diverse team of suppliers.

The strategic placement of this partnership with the chamber will provide better access for LGBT Business Enterprises for contracting opportunities and encourage other LGBTQ-owned businesses to certify as an LGBTBE®. Sonoco’s commitment will assist with expanding the chamber’s footprint as they move forward with a regional plan. The plan will broaden the pool of candidates available and also provide education, training and opportunities to LGBTQ business owners throughout North and South Carolina.

In addition to supplier diversity initiatives, the sustaining partnership will strengthen the chamber’s ability to super charge its efforts to address small business resilience and be a convener of voices to harness the collective buying power of the LGBTQ community and the businesses that support them, the organization shared.

“While there are many ways to ensure economic opportunity, the chamber is committed to utilizing procurement as an equity tool. We have a growing network of LGBT businesses with the capacity, experience and financial strength necessary to add value to corporate supply chains. However, it is equally important that we have corporate partners, like Sonoco, that value the contributions of LGBT businesses and want to support their growth and development. We look forward to the great work we will accomplish together,” said Ciara Lilly, board chair of the Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce.

“Adding Sonoco as our inaugural Sustaining Partner is a flashpoint in our chamber’s history. Their demonstrated commitment to diversity, inclusion and equity is second to none. And the timing could not be better! With the new chamber statewide expansion, we are unlocking the buying power across the state to substantially increase the opportunities for minority owned businesses. By leveraging our strong network, we can close the minority business gap in our community and create long-lasting systematic opportunity,” said Chad Turner, chamber president and chief executive officer.

“People build businesses by doing the right thing. Those words form the foundation of Sonoco’s Guiding Principle. We are committed to, not just the words themselves, but the spirit of what they stand for, the behaviors they encourage and the philosophy they represent,” stated Debra White, director of Global Category Management at Sonoco. info: clgbtcc.org.

— Compiled by Lainey Millen

BRIEFS Graziano makes history On Jan. 4, history was made in South Carolina when Kristin Graziano was sworn in as Charleston County sheriff. She is the first female and first openly LGBTQ sheriff in the state and was endorsed by SC Equality. Due to COVID-19 protocols, the swearing in ceremony at the Old Historic Courthouse by the Charleston County clerk of court was limited to a group of family and friends.

info: scequality.org.

Org hosts volunteer training We Are Family in North Charleston, S.C. is holding a virtual volunteer training on Zoom on Jan. 28 from 5:30-7:30 p.m.

Covered in the session will be recent updates in programming, current volunteer opportunities and changes in volunteer roles and support. Registration is available online at bit. ly/3oWT3jC.

info: waf.org.

MCCC appoints new board members Metropolitan Community Church of Charlotte announced the board appointment of Mike James as clerk and Dave Bise to handle social media and fundraising. Kim Martin will continue as vice moderator and Angel Laureano as treasurer. In other news, the church voted in a recent congregational meeting to vacate their use of the Orr Rd. worship, with much of the building contents being sold off. A search is on for locating office space. In the meantime, virtual services will continue on Facebook until further notice.

info: mymcccharlotte.org.

ENC seeks PAC members Equality North Carolina has issued a call for members for its political action committee for 2021. They are looking for “diverse voices with deep connections to their communities who can provide expertise and insight about the leaders that North

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Movie Org Appoints New Board Prez

WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. — OUT at the Movies announced the appointment of a new president to the board of directors, as well as one new member of the board, bringing the number of board members to 11.

Max Cullen, the newly elected president, is a native of Winston-Salem. He is a commercial film producer and account manager at Told

by Shift, a boutique film production company based in Winston-Salem. Cullen graduated from the high school Drama program at the University of North Carolina School of the Arts and received a Bachelor of Arts from the School of Communications at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

Alyson Williams, the newly-elected member of the board, is a recording and performance artist hailing from Harlem, N.Y. who recently moved to Winston-Salem. The first female R&B artist to sign with Def Jam, Williams has recorded several albums and toured with numerous stage plays in her career.

“The past year has shaken up the film festival ecosystem. The whole country is taking another look at the way it receives entertainment, including films. But small, communitybased film festivals like OUT at the Movies are well poised to meet the shifting landscape” said Cullen. “We are energized and more committed than ever to being a welcoming pillar of the community, and a platform to share exciting LGBTQ+ content and bring people together. I could not be more excited to help lead the festival into this new future.” info: outatthemovies.org.

Photos: (top to bottom) Max Cullen and Alyson Williams.

— Compiled by Lainey Millen

Carolina needs in the years ahead.” Visit bit.ly/2NiuRdB to apply. Additionally, the organization has launched an endorsement interest form online to gather information on those who are thinking about running for office statewide in 2021. Visit bit.ly/2M5emAJ to become part of the initiative.

info: equalitync.org.

GLSEN nets corporate support JPMorgan Chase has made the commitment to fund GLSEN with a $1 million investment. “I am so grateful to JPMorgan Chase for this remarkable investment. And we’re proud to be in great company with our fellow grantees, Out & Equal, SAGE, the San Francisco AIDS Foundation, and The Center,” GLSEN Executive Director Eliza Byard said.

info: glsen.org.

Gay Trumpers seen at riot The Star Observer reported that Gays for Trump members were spotted in attendance during the Jan. 6 insurrection at the U.S. Capitol. Social media footage showed them sporting Pride flags. Peter Boykin founded the organization in 2016 and has repeatedly attempted to convince the public that Donald Trump was one of the most pro-LGBTQ president in recent history.

info: bit.ly/3ioquZK.

Straight group participates in insurrection “Straight Pride” anti-LGBQ Super Happy Fun America’s Sue Ianni helped organize bus loads of participants who attended the Jan. 6 insurrection in Washington, D.C., RVA Magazine reported. Innai also does not understand why attendees are being called “domestic terrorists.”

info: bit.ly/3irvOf4.

HIV platform finds new home On Jan. 15 HealthHIV became the new home of PleasePrEPMe. org, an online platform that expands access to pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) and post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP). Initially

launched in 2015 as a searchable and location-responsive provider directory for the State of California, PleasePrEPMe.org has expanded to provide HIV prevention resources in English and Spanish for consumers and providers in all 50 states. The platform features an online PrEP navigation training program with multiple modules/courses and downloadable resources which offer comprehensive insights and highlight best practices for PrEP consumers, navigators and prescribers.

info: pleaseprepme.org. healthhiv.org.

Book proceeds to benefit LGBTQ orgs Royalties from sales of “call me him” will be received by The Trevor Project, the Human Rights Campaign and the Trans Law Center. The book was penned by transgender author River Braun who has worked with teens at The Trevor Project.

The narrative tells the story of transgender 14-year-old SoCal skate-punk Wylie Masterson.

info: amzn.to/390qo7T. thetrevorproject.org. hrc.org. transgenderlawcenter.org.

Webinar focus on student inclusive spaces NC Community Colleges: Creating Success will host its “Promising Practices: Creating Inclusive Spaces for LGBTQ Students on Campus (Level 1) webinar workshop on Jan. 27 from 10-11:15 a.m. It is being presented by Adam Wade, director of admissions at Central Carolina Community College. This virtual LGBTQ workshop discuss how students experience their campus environment influences both learning and developmental outcomes, introduces participants to foundational knowledge of LGBTQ college students and the challenges they face when navigating college environments and highlights college student development theory, current research on LGBTQ community college students and Gloria Ladsen Billings work on Culturally Relevant Pedagogy and Intersectionality. This workshop will also introduce and explore inclusive strategies that can be implemented into student services practices or into the classroom, to create a more welcoming and inclusive environment for all students. Registration is available online at bit.ly/2LYjHdg.

info: nccommunitycolleges.edu.

life

Save the Date to Save the Bartenders Hunky Calendar Sales Provide Support to Local Bartenders

BY Jack Kirven | qnotes contributor Jack Kirven: Are there smaller crowds and/or fewer customers now than pre-COVID? Martin Lovelace (Hide-A-Way; Rock Hill, SC) Yes, crowds are much smaller on a regular basis, and it seems to be more of the same people, instead of a rotating clientele.

Bryant Hall (Bar Argon; Charlotte, NC): Yes! The amount of customers we get now is nothing compared to the amount we would have pre-COVID.

once you are outside and at a table, you may remove your mask.

JK: Do they tip more now?

ML: Tips are roughly the same percentage, but with sales being lower, that does mean less overall.

JK: Are you able to connect with your customers like before COVID? ML: Not as much, as I keep my distance more. It can’t be seen when I’m smiling, and I don’t hug customers like I did pre-COVID. BH: Yes and no. I wish I could give a lot of our regulars hugs and talk to them without a mask. It has been very hard and upsetting.

JK: Overall, how does your income compare with pre-COVID? ML: This income is still very much manageable as a weekend job only.

If it were my only job, it would not be enough to get by.

BH: My income now compared to pre-COVID has been a drastic change.

I am definitely not making as much as I did before all of this.

JK: Do you wear a mask at work?

BH: Most definitely! I highly encourage those who do not to do so! We all need to be considerate of each other’s health and wellbeing.

The ‘Men of Midwood-ish)” 2021 calendar’s sales help to support bartenders and bars affected by the COVID-19 pandemic.

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hat distinguishes the Great Recession from the Pandemic? The former affected the rich, the latter is affecting the middle class and the poor. Whereas the recession hurt corporations due to complicated financial schemes, the pandemic is decimating the industries that require face-to-face contact. This is especially true for restaurants, exercise facilities, brick and mortar retail stores, theme parks and practically all types of service sector jobs. And who works most of these jobs? Not the white collar workers who can perform their tasks in seclusion by way of specialized technology, but rather blue collar and working poor people who literally cannot go to work.

Locally, we have seen firsthand how the entertainment industry has been especially gutted. Bars in particular have had an even tougher row to hoe than restaurants. Due to strangeness in the wording of the codes, restaurants with bars can open, but bars and private clubs themselves cannot. Bar owners have gotten very little, if any, support from novel government funding, but many have managed to eke out enough to “survive.” Performers have been able to move many of their re-conceived events online, though it is hard to imagine those options are as lucrative as live shows.

However, bartenders do not have any of these options.

Geneva McNeale, a local fundraising organizer (and hunky bartender enthusiast), organized photoshoots for a calendar that features many of the bartenders directly impacted by the pandemic. Sales of “Men of Midwood(ish) 2021” will benefit the staff at the various bars and pubs featured within the calendar. According to McNeale, “All proceeds from the tongue-in-cheek calendar go directly back to those bars and bartenders to help them pay bills and keep afloat until they can open in a safe and less restricted way. The calendar represents a simple way to support the businesses, while still practicing social distancing and COVID protocol.”

Some of the LGBTQ or LGBTQ-friendly businesses that benefit from the calendar’s sales include Petra’s, Snug Harbor and Hattie’s. Speaking to two LGBTQ bartenders qnotes shares some insight on what it has been like for people who have been trying to survive the extreme limitations social distancing requires.

JK: Do your customers wear a mask?

ML: Customers are required to have a mask on to come into the bar, order a drink, or walk around the bar.

BH: Yes, it is mandatory for customers to have a mask on when they enter the bar and come up to order drinks. If they do not have a mask on, they are not allowed entry. Although

Men of Hatties, Charlotte, N.C.

JK: Do they at least try to keep social distance (six feet apart)?

BH: Yes! We have also made sure all the tables are spaced six feet apart.

JK: What are the consequences if they don’t?

ML: Customers are warned, and they usually follow the instructions given. Worst case scenario would be to ask a customer to leave.

JK: How do you see the near future for bars and clubs?

ML: I see there being a rush once restrictions are lessened, but overall I see a generation of younger customers that have learned to party at home for less money. This might creating a potential for a customer decline in the future.

BH: To be honest, I’m not 100 percent sure. I hope that things will clear up and we can all get back to the way things were, but I feel as if nothing will ever be normal or the same again. Also, from the looks of it, COVID is still gonna be around in the spring.

Martin Lovelace, Hide-A-Way, Rock Hill, S.C.

JK: How about the long-term future of bars and clubs?

ML: Bars and clubs are going to have to adjust what they offer to make sure that they are staying up to date with what the current clientele want. It’s the only way to stay relevant. Although realistically, more bars are going to have to offer something in addition to just alcohol to attract customers.

BH: If things don’t change soon I’m afraid more bars and clubs will begin to close down. I just hope we won’t lose any gay bars and clubs in Charlotte. : :

Bryant Hall, Bar Argon, Charlotte, N.C.

Jan. 22-Feb. 4, 2021

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Domestic Violence Protective Orders Now Available by Law to Unmarried Same-Sex Couples Legal Eagles

BY Zachary T. Porfiris, attorney | guest WRITER

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orth Carolina finally realizes that while love is love, violence is also violence. In the filed opinion, M.E. v. T.J. (bit.ly/35I03Jw), the North Carolina Court of Appeals ruled on Dec. 31, 2020 that unmarried same-sex couples can no longer be prevented from obtaining domestic violence protective orders. Outside of familial relationships, North Carolina’s domestic violence protective orders — referred to as “50B protective orders” or “DVPOs” — were previously limited to unmarried persons, of opposite sex, currently or formerly living together; unmarried persons with a child in common; persons of the opposite sex currently or formerly in a dating relationship; and current or former household members. Prior to this 92-page Court of Appeals opinion, North Carolina was our nation’s last state to bar DVPOs for same-sex couples.

This all stemmed from a case when the Wake County trial court failed to issue a DVPO against T.J., a woman, when she committed acts of violence against her intimate partner, M.E., also a woman. The trial court found that M.E. presented enough evidence to support the entry of a DVPO, had her partner

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been a member of the opposite sex, but refused to enter a DVPO under the North Carolina Statute because the abuser and the intimate partner were in a same-sex dating relationship.

Appellant, M.E., argued that same-sex relationships are equal to opposite-sex relationships under the United States Constitution; there is no legitimate legislative, or government purpose or interest served by preventing same-sex victims of domestic violence from obtaining DVPOs; and the relevant North Carolina statute, Chapter 50B, violates the North Carolina and Federal Constitutions for singling out victims of same-sex dating violence. LGBTQ people experience intimate-partner and dating violence in damaging ways and at alarming rates, but they also face unique barriers when seeking help.

Linda McGee, the Chief Judge of the Court of Appeals, wrote in the court’s opinion, “By telling Plaintiff that her existence is not as valuable as that of individuals who engage in ‘opposite-sex’ relationships, the State is not just needlessly endangering Plaintiff, it is expressing Statesanctioned animus toward her.”

ing our LGBTQ community, and this ruling makes that clear.”

This opinion may not be the end of the road for equality when it comes to same-sex domestic violence, as it included a 17page dissent which raised procedural issues related to appellate jurisdiction and the lack of including North Carolina’s Speaker of the House and President Pro Tempore as necessary defendants when challenging the validity of a Domestic violence protective orders are now in place across the state of statute. We will North Carolina for unmarried same-sex couples. have to wait until (Photo Credit: 9nong via Adobe Stock) a couple weeks after Jan. 20 (when the new mandate Ultimately the Court of Appeals held issues) to see if any interested party folthat the relevant provision of North lows the dissent and takes this issue up Carolina’s statute is unconstitutional, to the Supreme Court of North Carolina. and the Statute will now be applied to LGBTQ North Carolinians and supportany persons who are in or have been in a ers remain hopeful that the M.E. v. T.J. dating relationship; the “of opposite sex” opinion sticks and does not go further language has been stricken. on appeal.

North Carolina citizens and govAnyone facing a potential domestic ernment officials, including Attorney violence issue, now or in the future, General Josh Stein and Gov. Roy Cooper, should consult a family law attorney are celebrating this landmark decision. as soon as possible to gain an underAttorney General Josh Stein wrote (bit. standing of the legal requirements and ly/3id7jlN), “BREAKING: A big win for implications and the severity of DVPOs. equality in NC! All people are equal For information on how to leave a DV no matter if you are straight or gay. situation as safely as possible, please Today, the N.C. Court of Appeals recoggo to Sodoma Law’s free epamphlet, nized that truth and the N.C. and U.S. “Escaping Domestic Violence: What You Constitutions guarantee it.” Gov. Roy Need to Know” (bit.ly/3sllzxk). : : Cooper wrote (bit.ly/39ACymU), “This decision is a win for equality and incluZachary T. Porfiris is a family law attorney sion and for our fight against domestic at Sodoma Law in Charlotte, N.C. Visit violence in North Carolina. State laws sodomalaw.com to learn more. should protect everyone equally, includ-

life

Vaccination in North Carolina Health & Wellness: What to Know About Getting It

BY Jack Kirven | qnotes contributor

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indication that the overwhelming majority fter Operation Warp Speed, the delivery of people will experience adverse reactions. of COVID-19 vaccine has happened much You can learn more at the CDC website at more slowly than originally hoped, and there cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/vaccines/ has been no federal effort to standardize facts.html. distribution amongst the states. There has also been no offer to the states to cover or offset the costs or to advise implementing Will a COVID-19 vaccination alter best practices for logistics. In addition to my DNA? this, each state is left to decide how to prioriNo. The RNA used in the vaccine cannot tize who is vaccinated first. enter your cells. Since it cannot enter your According to the North Carolina cells, it cannot enter the nuclei within any COVID-19 Planning Team (bit.ly/35PfvDI), the cells. Your DNA is inside the nuclei of your state has developed a multi-stage approach. cells. There is no chance that the vaccine will As of Oct. 16, 2020, the Planning Phase ever interact with your DNA. was already in place, wherein a command structure created with input from a third Will the vaccine include a personal party, External Vaccine Advisory Committee, tracking implant? developed the strategy for prioritizing No. There is no such device within the populations, storing and transporting vacshots. Such a device would not fit through The COVID-19 vaccine is now being distributed throughout the Carolinas in a staggered system cines and administering them. Subsequent the end of a needle. If that is a concern, conthat provides for inoculation of those most at risk first. (Photo Credit: scaliger via Adobe Stock) phases are called the Implementation Phase sider whether or not to keep a smart phone (focusing on adapting to logistics in real time in your possession. and inoculating first priority populations), With this in mind, what are some of the practical conthe Adjustment Phase (broadening operations as larger Here are some COVID-19 testing centers located in cerns and questions people have while they wait for their quantities of vaccine become available) and the Transition Charlotte, N.C. that (as of Jan. 8) do not require an apturn to be immunized? There are some misconceptions Phase (putting vaccines in the hands of established delivpointment or a referral. They offer testing to all patients, circulating that should be addressed, so that as many ery channels where anyone can get their shots with the and those locations with asterisks also have drive-through people as possible will be at ease getting the shots. same ease as flu shots). options: Who gets the vaccine first? According to the official • Family First Medical Center, PLLC: How many doses will I need?

North Carolina Interim COVID-19 Vaccination Plan, “Health 4913 Albermarle Rd., 980-299-5019 The inoculation often consists of two shots, and the care providers at high risk for exposure and who are vital • *StarMed Healthcare - Eastland: second should be administered three or four weeks after to the initial COVID vaccine administration efforts and staff 5344 Central Ave. Ste. B, 704-225-6288 the first (depending on the vaccine). There are two vacin long term care will be prioritized first. People at high • *Doc’s Pharmacy: cines being used in the United States. Pfizer developed risk for clinical severity and high risk of exposure will be 2860 Freedom Dr.,704-900-6001 one, and Moderna created the other. They have an efprioritized next. This will include residents in Long-Term • *C.W. Williams Community Health Center: ficacy rate of 95 percent. At this time, patients will not be Care settings, people over 65 and staff of congregate living 3333 Wilkinson Blvd., 866-299-4968 given the option for which they prefer. settings (migrant farm camps, jails and prisons, and home• *StarMed: less shelters) and anyone with two or more chronic condi4001 Tuckaseegee Rd., 704- 941-6000 Are they safe, if they have been produced tions identified by the [Centers for Disease Control and so quickly?

Prevention] CDC to be high risk for COVID complications.

Jack Kirven completed the MFA in Dance at UCLA, and earned It is impossible to know yet if there are any long-term “Historically marginalized populations are represented certification as a personal trainer through NASM. His wellness complications; however, the testing done on unpaid in the early phase prioritization groups. Subsequent phases philosophy is founded upon integrated lifestyles as opvolunteers has been thorough, and the treatments have will target lower-risk populations and have more of a focus posed to isolated workouts. Visit him at jackkirven.com and been approved for use. There will always be people who on decreasing transmission through the populations.”

INTEGRE8Twellness.com. respond negatively to some medications, but there is no

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Companies Now Must Lead in Diversity and Inclusion Four Points

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ight now in the United States, we are experiencing unprecedented disunity and division. The political and community scenes continue to get increasingly polarized, including around the global COVID-19 pandemic with sharp disagreement on what course of action to pursue.

During this time of multiple national crises, corporations continue to step up more than ever to take the lead in promoting effective diversity, equity and inclusion.

Four points to consider at this juncture are: 1. T hroughout our nation’s history, corporate America has frequently led in areas of gender, racial and LGBTQ equity, with government legislation eventually catching up.

By Stan Kimer | Guest Contributor 2. Companies have seen the data and multiple studies like the one from McKinsey that shows that companies that have diverse teams effectively working together outperform their monolithic peers.

3. Almost all companies have published mission, vision and values statements, and leaders can continually rally all employees to coalesce around those goals, no matter what their political or philosophical differences.

4. Companies realize that when every single employee is placed in an environment where they are empowered to contribute their very best, the whole organization succeeds and everyone benefits. It is so sad that we live

in a time where people continue to cut others down.

This minimizing of others hurts the entire society in the long run.

Let’s all take some lessons from the most successful companies and learn how to value the diversity and uniqueness of each person, and work together to build a better world for everyone. : : Stan Kimer is a career development and diversity consultant with Total Engagement Consulting by Kimer based in Raleigh, N.C. and has expertise in corporate LGBTQ diversity strategy and training. Visit totalengagement consulting.com to learn more.

Jan. 22-Feb. 4, 2021

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The 5 Easiest Ways to Save Money Pride Wealth Strategies

By Joey Amato | Contributing Writer

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eople in the LGBTQ community have a habit of overspending. There are many reasons for this, but one is because we all seem to judge one another by our possessions. I am guilty of it, and I am sure many of you are as well. In recent years I began to change my mindset when it comes to material things, and instead of needing the latest gadgets or driving the newest car, I have begun to focus my attention on meaningful experiences, including spending time with friends or family or going on a relaxing vacation and building lasting memories.

One thing I noticed as my ideology began to shift is my bank account balance also began to increase. Even though I was spending more on experiences, I was still spending less than when I had to have all the nicest designer clothes. Whether your job has been affected by COVID-19 or you simply want to begin to build your retirement savings, here are a few tricks to save money and increase your wealth.

Lose the Booze

I know, you have heard this before, but it bears repeating. Spending $10 or more per cocktail is not necessary and severely strains your wallet. If you enjoy two drinks every time you go to a bar or restaurant, you will end up spending $1,040 per year if you do that once per week. Do you know how many fun experiences you can enjoy for $1,040? LGBTQ people love to gather at bars and restaurants, but I would recommend enjoying a cocktail at home prior to going out, and try to limit yourself to one cocktail with friends if you absolutely need to have that drink in your hand.

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Negotiate Your Expenses

Many times, we become complacent when it comes to our monthly expenses. We just assume that since it was “X” amount of money last month, it will be “X” amount of money this month. In reality, Internet providers, cell phone companies and even credit card companies may offer promotions where you can lower your monthly payment. Take a few minutes each month and make some phone calls. Even if you only save a few dollars per month, it will all add up in the end.

Leave Your Car Keys at Home

This is one of my favorite pieces of advice, because not only will it save you money, but it will also make you healthier. If possible, try to walk or bike to places instead of using your car. You would be surprised what a 30-minute walk in the morning can do for your mental health. It provides you with time to reflect on the day and develop the right mindset, all while burning calories. Try walking once or twice per week instead of using your vehicle. Doing so will decrease your monthly fuel cost and quite possibly your insurance premium if you notify them that you are driving less.

Learn to Cook

Time to embrace your inner Rachael Ray and break out those dusty pots and pans you have stored away in the closet. Instead of going out to eat all the time, learn how to make a few signature dishes and share them at home with some friends. A lot of people get intimidated by cooking, but in fact, if you learn a few recipes, cooking can be quite

fun and relaxing, especially when you share the experience with others. You can even have a theme dinner. Ask friends to bring over a bottle of wine to share that comes from the same region as the dish you are preparing. Italian food…

Italian wine. Throw on some Andrea Bocelli, and you can have as much fun as you would at a fancy Italian restaurant.

Automate Your Life

How many times do we forget to pay a bill and then get charged that annoying $15 late fee? It happened to me all the time until I decided to set up auto payments for my expenses. You would not believe how much money you can save by avoiding penalties and late charges, some of which can be as high as $25. In addition, if you work for a company that offers a 401K plan, I would automate your savings and try to contribute as much as you can every pay period. If it comes out of your check, you will not miss it, but sometimes it is hard to invest the money once you have it in your pocket.

I hope these tips help you begin to save money and build wealth. Many people in the LGBTQ community tend to have a short-term focus, but we need to think longterm. We do not want to work until we are 80 years old just so we can afford to live. Start today and you will see that saving money is fun. : : Pride Wealth Strategies is a source for LGBTQ financial coaching and analysis. The company specializes in Investment Portfolio Reviews, Debt Management, Budgeting, Wealth Management and Estate Planning. For more information, visit pridewealthstrategies.com.

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Embracing the Masculine Side in All of Us Tell Trinity

BY Trinity | CONTRIBUTING WRITER Dear Trinity, I’m a lesbian who considers herself to be very feminine, by most standards, but I have an awful time dealing with other lesbians who act overly butch. I just don’t get it! Why do so many lesbians need to look and act “butch?”

Yours, Disappointed Fem., Harrisburg, PA Dear Disappointed Fem., Everyone has a male and female side.

Most women, gay or straight, who have masculine overtones do it because of upbringing, environment or, as unbelievable as it may seem, because it’s innately natural. But more importantly, darling, the trouble you have with masculine women may be in your acceptance of your own masculinity. So, when that magic moment comes and you start allowing yourself to embrace “butch” as part of the great fabulous female puzzle, then you may just suddenly appreciate masculinity in other women as well as in yourself.

Now Play Ball! Trinity

some of your relationship history?

Sincerely, Curious, Sydney, Australia To Curious Um, my relationship history? I’ve been on almost 300 dates and am working on a book about it. I also read up on dating as well as have been writing about it for over 20 years.

So, pumpkin, you should feel comfortable that I know a lot, maybe even too much.

(Observer’s Notes: Crying uncontrollably,

connections

Dearest Trinity, I broke up with my boyfriend about two years ago. Since then I’ve only had a scattering of intimate experiences. It seems to me that I get obsessive or neurotic when a lot of time goes by, and I haven’t been intimate.

Why is that?

Sincerely, Going Crazy, Des Moines, IA Dearest Going Crazy, You, I, everyone must be touched on a regular basis in order to survive. Did you know that orphanages in Manchester, England in the late 1800s reported an infant death rate of 86 percent until one nurse started holding the babies on a regular basis? It was then that the infant death rate, in one year, dropped to an incredible 14 percent. You see, when we’re born the first sense we learn is touch. If we don’t get touched at birth, we die, as adults we just die slowly. I honestly think sex addiction comes from not enough touch. So, when you’re going crazy from not being touched… start hugging, everyone. Get a huggable pet, get massaged, but, honey, get touched or accept your doom!

Big, smothering hugs, Trinity Hello Trinity, I’m falling in love with someone I continually see in my hometown. But I’ve only ever seen him from a distance. We’ve never talked,

To Trinity, You often write about relationships! What makes you such the expert? Can you share

Q-mmunity

Trinity stops typing, runs to Ben & Jerry’s and spends the rest of the night in drama therapy Zoom workshops.) (See my cartoon for how I handled my relationship “hall of fame” or should I say “flames.”)

or even met briefly. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Yours, Love At First Sight, Chicago, IL Hello Love At First Sight, I believe in love at first bite, not sight!

Seeing is not enough! You must sample the pudding to make sure it’s not a plastic store display piece. Falling in love at first sight is like losing yourself in a dream, which, sweetie, makes you do crazy things that you normally never do. Even better, here’s:

Trinity’s Cautious Tips For Falling In Love At First Sight

1. Hear his voice.

2. Hug her, touch her, and feel her.

3. Spend time with him privately and publicly.

4. Ask lots of questions, and listen clearly.

5. Know that when you’re in love your “self” gets carried away.

6. Search her name on the Internet.

7. Don’t lend him your car, credit cards or Internet password.

8. Ask friends to tell you the truth about her.

9. Be adventurous and free, but be smart about it.

10. L astly, don’t give so much that you can’t bounce back quickly if it fails. : : With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com.

Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

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Your Card Can Go Here for as little as $22 Every Two Weeks Jan. 22-Feb. 4, 2021

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Screen Savor: Bottom’s Up A Review of ‘Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom’

BY Gregg Shapiro | Guest Contributor

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oing to the theater to see a play is on hold for the near future, even as talk of a COVID-19 vaccine is getting mixed reviews. Fortunately, there are enough movie adaptations on the way or that have already arrived — including “The Prom,” “Everybody’s Talking About Jamie,” “In The Heights” and “West Side Story” — to quench a theater queen’s thirst.

Sadly, the late, prolific playwright August Wilson who died in 2005 never got a chance to see the movie versions of two of his plays; “Fences” from 2016 and 2020’s “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom” (Netflix). He probably would have been particularly pleased with the performances of Viola Davis, who won a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for “Fences” and appears to be a shoo-in for an Oscar nod for “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom.”

From the moment she appears onscreen, performing a show in a tent in rural Georgia in 1927, followed by a more professionally presented concert in a theater, it’s impossible to take our eyes off of queer mother of the blues, Ma Rainey (Davis). From her gold teeth and dark eye shadow

to her glorious dresses and occasional fur collar, she is a sight to behold. In Chicago for a recording session, she is accompanied by her nephew (and driver) Sylvester (Dusan Brown) and her lover Dussie Mae (Taylour Paige), and for every stare she gets, she gives it back double.

Her band, led by trumpeter Cutler (gay actor Colman Domingo, whom some may remember for his portrayal of Maya Angelou on “The Big Gay Sketch Show”), is already at the studio rehearsing for the session. Also there is pianist Toledo (Glynn Turman), bass player Slow Drag (Michael Potts), and ambitious trumpeter Levee (the late Chadwick Boseman). Levee is an unrelenting thorn in Ma and the band’s side. He writes and plays arrangements that differ from Ma’s. He scoffs at the older band members, becoming threatening to Cutler and Toledo. He even dares to flirt with Dussie Mae. Here’s the problem with “Ma Rainey:” in the hands of gay, Tony Award-winning director George C. Wolfe, the movie alternates between being stagey and cinematic.

The scenes with band members in the rehearsal space

before Ma’s late arrival are filled with typical, if exaggerated, male banter, teasing and competitiveness. There is talk of God and blasphemy, the ways Black men must find to survive in white culture. The rehearsal space, with one open door and one locked door, feels claustrophobic and too theatrical, and the often-repetitive dialogue doesn’t help matters.

Enter Ma Rainey! Each and every scene in which she appears, from the car accident in front of the studio and her heated interactions with white manager Irving (Jeremy Shamos) and recording studio head Sturdyvant (Jonny Coyne) to her intimate moment with Dussie Mae and her encouragement of stuttering Sylvester are gloriously vibrant. Her clashes with Levee are raw and real.

Her performance at the recording studio mic is riveting.

It makes you wish there was more Ma Rainey and less of everyone else.

Nevertheless, Boseman, in his final performance, more than holds his own from start to finish. Domingo also continues to prove himself a fine dramatic actor. Rating: B- : :

‘Raising Them: Our Adventure in Gender Creative Parenting’ Out in Print

BY terri schlichenmeyer | CONTRIBUTING WRITER “Raising Them: Our Adventure in Gender Creative Parenting”

by Kyl Myers ©2020, Brilliance Audio $34.99 6 discs, 7:18 in length

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ink or blue?

When you’re pregnant, everybody asks that question. What kind of clothing or toys will you require: dolls or trucks, pink or blue? They’ll want to know about the gender reveal party, and what kind of names you’re considering. Do you want a boy or girl or, as in the new audiobook “Raising Them” by Kyl Myers, do you mind not knowing for a few years?

Long before she ever became a mother, even before she met and married her husband, Brent, Kyl Myers had thought about what she calls “gender creative parenting.”

Myers identifies as queer, and she was somewhat of an activist, so she was pretty well-versed on a subject that asks why we, as a society, place emphasis on the chromosomes

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of an infant when physical, often intimate, body parts have nothing to do with simply being a child. Once Myers was pregnant, this became more than just something to think about, and she and her husband decided to raise their child gender-free.

They weren’t the first to do so: in years past, other parents around the world went public with successful gender creative parenting. Still, it took plenty of determined preplanning: Myers would deny knowledge of the baby’s gender to anyone who didn’t absolutely, genuinely need to know. That meant restricting diaper-duty, and it meant four grandparents who wouldn’t know their grandchild’s gender until the child was several months old.

Once Zoomer Coyote entered the world, there would be no pink or blue bassinet cards in the hospital nursery. Myers had to learn to find non-gendered infant and toddler clothing for her child, gender-neutral-hued toys for them to play with, and items that didn’t scream “Boy!” or “Girl!” Later, Zoomer’s daycare was “cool” with the neutrality, but strangers, and even other parents, were

a challenge, and were nonetheless challenged to open their minds.

“Raising Them” will bring out a lot of emotions that will likely be dependent on which side of parenting you stand.

It’s intriguing, but exhausting, too chirpy, and too, too sunny. It’s also too precious by half, and the cute-Zoomer tales wear thin after a (very, very short) while. And yet, the idea of giving your child time to know themself is intriguing. Still, author Myers should be commended for not throwing in the towel with hurricane force.

Indeed, her struggles were exactly what you might expect.

Although... particularly if you’re expecting a baby, Myers may inspire you. Clearly, gender creative parenting involves work, vigilance and forethought, and while it’s not for everyone, it’s a compelling enough idea to stick in your mind like glue. You’ll be convinced that it’s worth a try, even if only sometimes.

And this: if you can’t rest without knowing, Myers drops hints to soothe your boy-or-girl curiosity, but that’s not the end of this story. No, this is a website-supported, mindopening, ongoing tale for parents-to-be, or for anyone who wishes they’d been reared in a similar kind of household. That you? Read “Raising Them,” or you’ll be blue. : :

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In Praise of Thrift Stores Jesse’s Journal

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By Jesse Monteagudo | Guest Contributor

hiring practices are open to all, love thrift stores. The price is and we provide the same benefits mostly right; the quality is surto opposite-sex and same-sex prisingly good; and my money couples. The Salvation Army is usually goes to good causes. I committed to serving the LGBTQ began to shop thrift stores at a community.” This about-face makes time when my finances were not it easier for me to shop Salvation so good and now, though my Army stores, though it annoys me finances are better, I continue to that they continue display their do so. In thrift stores, I find good clothes by color, rather than size. bargains and, sometimes, wonderIn addition to their contribuful surprises. Fortunately, I live in a tions to charity, thrift stores are community where thrift stores are a major part of our economy, plentiful and convenient. especially during these uncertain The first thrift stores were times. I buy most of my clothes established in England, where they at thrift stores, with the notable are called charity shops. A type Thrift stores provide a good resource for recycling used goods exception of underwear, socks, of social enterprise, thrift stores while helping to provide funding for organizations who support and shoes. The clothes are just justify their existence by donating the community (Photo Credit: highwaystarz via Adobe Stock) as good and are much cheaper their profits to accepted charities. than those sold by trendy shops They keep their overhead down by like Old Navy. As Macklemore the Closet store “is where our various clients selling used goods and employing rapped in “Thrift Shop” why pay $50 for and customers get their medication, shop, (largely) volunteer staff. Shopping at thrift a T-shirt when you can get one much donate and get tested all in one place. They stores is so popular in America that the term cheaper at Goodwill or Salvation Army? would be lost without us.” thrifting was coined to label this activity.

Why indeed. Visit your local thrift store Though there are many thrift stores Environmentalists like thrift store goods beand be surprised. : : to choose from, they are not equal. Some cause they use fewer natural resources and stores specialize in furniture, like St. Vincent thus do less damage to the environment.

There is a thrift store located in the Carolinas de Paul stores and the stores operated by Most of the clothing found at thrift stores that is operated by an LGBTQ entity called Faith Farm Ministries. Other stores, like was donated by the families of recently Closet Case Thrift Store and run by We Are American Thrift, Goodwill or the various deceased persons who were not dedicated Family in North Charleston, S.C. consignment shops, specialize in clothfollowers of fashion but who usually knew ing, fine or otherwise. Book collectors like what looked good on them (and others). me are usually on the lookout for good According to the South Australia Public bargains or occasional treasures like those Health Directorate, the health risk of buying often found in stores run by Poverello or used clothes at thrift stores is quite low, Chabad. Other stores (not the ones where I which is reassuring to those of us who worry shop) specialize in antiques, artwork or bricabout contracting infectious diseases. a-brac. The stores’ décor also run the gamut In the United States, chains of thrift from dumpy warehouses to elegant shops stores are operated by national charities like like consignment shops or Out of the Closet the AIDS Healthcare Foundation, American stores. The causes they serve are also diThrift, Chabad, Goodwill Industries, Salvation verse and might decide your willingness to Army and St. Vincent de Paul. A small shop there: Goodwill helps individuals, esnumber of thrift stores are independent enpecially those with disabilities, train for and terprises like Poverello or Fort Lauderdale’s find jobs; Poverello and AHF help people livfunky Oddballs Nifty Thrift. They all exist to ing with AIDS; American Thrift stores assist provide a community service. According to local charities; and the Salvation Army helps José Vazquez, manager of the Wilton Manors the Salvation Army. Those who hesitate to Out of the Closet store, “when you shop at shop at Salvation Army thrift stores should any Out of the Closet, you’re directly helping know that it has repudiated its old antipeople living with HIV and AIDS. Ninety-six LGBTQ views. According to its website (salcents of every dollar collected goes directly vationarmyusa.org) the Army “embrace[s] to fund AHF’s HIV/AIDS programs and the people regardless of race, gender, ethnicity, new housing services as well as on-site sexual orientation, or gender identity. Our pharmacies and free HIV testing.” An Out of

Jan. 22-Feb. 4, 2021

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Jan. 22-Feb. 4, 2021