QNotes, Jan. 30-Feb. 12, 2016

Jan. 30-Feb. 12 . 2015

qnotes

1

2

qnotes

Jan. 30-Feb. 12 . 2015

inside

Q

5

qnotes news & features

arts.

5 entertainment.

News Notes: U.S./World Briefs news. views.

5 Supreme Court to hear gay marriage cases 6 News Notes: Regional Briefs 8 Mapping the left 8 Collaboration on community agenda

a&e / life&style

11 Opposites attract 12 How Charlotteans like their sex 13 Top to bottom, sex education 14 Jane’s World 14 Tell Trinity 17 Playing the Field 18 Q Events Calendar 19 Our People: Jason Boone, Jeremy Carter & Shelly Schoenfeld

opinions & views

4 Editor’s Note 4 Guest Commentary

❝ … we defend free speech, and advocate for political prisoners, and condemn the persecution of women, or religious minorities, or people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. We do these things not only because they’re right, but because they make us safer. ❞ — President Barack Obama during his State of the Union address on Jan. 20

Jan. 30-Feb. 12 . 2015

qnotes

3

Q

qnotes connect Jan. 30-Feb. 12, 2015 Vol 29 No 20

arts. entertainment. news. views. goqnotes.com twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue Paige Braddock, Matt Comer, Jon Hoppel, Lainey Millen, Jacob C. Ratliff, Trinity

front page

Graphic Design by Matt Comer & Lainey Millen Photography: © Nejron via Dreamstime.com Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBT and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBT life and social justice issues.

Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Editor: Matt Comer, x202 editor@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen, x205 production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.

Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2015 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

goqnotes.com/to/views

editor’s note

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

A much-needed conversation on inclusion, allyship and loyalty Democrats in North Carolina had a much-needed conversation on diversity and inclusion recently — specifically surrounding transgender and LGB people and the necessity of education, the importance of allyship and what exactly it means to be an ally. It’s a conversation that’s ongoing, and rightly needs to continue.

It began on Jan. 20, when the leading candidate for chair of the North Carolina Democratic Party, Patsy Keever, called transgender candidate Janice Covington Allison “a man.” We’ve reported on the incident and its follow-up online. You can read the original story at goqnotes.com/33696/ and the follow-up at goqnotes.com/33734/.

The insult exposed a rift between party and community members.

On one hand, some LGBT people and other members involved in the party, especially those who’d worked with Keever in the past, defended Keever, though admitting she’d erred. They’d found her to be friendly to the community in the past, were sure she’d continue to be friendly in the future and argued her mistake emanated from a lack of education or awareness of transgender issues, something Keever herself admitted and committed to work on.

On the other hand, some members of the transgender and LGB community said that a lack of awareness or education was no excuse — that Keever should have taken the time beforehand to learn more, to be aware, to know the best ways in which to interact with transgender people, especially considering her foreknowledge that she was running against a trans

by Jacob C. Ratliff :: guest contributor

Dear Liberty University: Love your LGBT neighbor as your self I, like many other high school students, have had my email inbox flooded in the past months with messages from various schools urging me to apply.

When I received my first email from Liberty University, I chuckled and joked with my family and friends, saying, “They wouldn’t be telling me to apply if they knew ‘what’ I was.” The “what” is that I am gay — and Christian.

From the controversy of your institution not recognizing the College Democrats club to the constant bigotry and disgust toward the LGBT community, Liberty University has a distinct history of intolerance toward those who are anything but what the university considers “right.” But I’m not here to try and discredit your school, seeing as this institution does some good things. I’m here to address the hate.

While I am not attempting in any way to start a religious debate over the “sin” that you consider homosexuality, I will say that most everything the Bible preaches is that of love and acceptance. There is a reason that the message of scripture, as well as Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, are called The Gospel. As I’m sure you know, “The Gospel” translates directly to “the good news.” Tell me, what is inherently good about considering the LGBT community to be sinful and less than heterosexuals? Nothing.

Refer to John 3:16, as I am sure many in your institution have it memorized.

The verse does not say that only heterosexuals who believe in God shall not perish and will have eternal life. No, it is “whoever believes in him shall never perish but have eternal life.” In addition, Mark 12:31 does not say, “You shall love your heterosexual neighbor as yourself.” No, you need to love your home-

a local news partner of The Charlotte Observer

upcoming issues: 02.13.15: Black History Month Advertising Space Deadline: Feb. 4 03.27.15: Spring A&E Guide Advertising Space Deadline: Feb. 18

qnotes

candidate. Self-education, they said, was the responsibility of people who claimed to be “well-intentioned allies.”

This divide — between community members willing to accept alliances with imperfect, still-learning allies and those who call for a more stringent commitment to principles and ideals — cuts at the heart of several important conversations.

Where do Democrats stand when it comes to a commitment to their own ideals? How far can they bend when the party, as a whole, must seem united as it faces a new political landscape in which it has lost nearly all legislative and governmental power for the first time in over a century?

Where do leaders of the LGBT community place their loyalty — to a political party or to their own community? And where does this community leadership — much of still largely male and largely cisgender — place transgender inclusion on its list of priorities? To what standards do we hold allies and how much leeway do we give those who honestly seek to stand by us, even if they occasionally slip up?

I won’t pretend to know the solutions or try to personally represent all the many different ways members of our community might answer them.

What I will ask is that we continue to lean in, find the answers, discuss the topics on which we disagree. At recent community forums in Charlotte, I’ve heard a repeated tip for this kind of intentional conversation: Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. It’s a good message for all of us. : :

guest commentary

charlotteobserver.com/1166/

4

views

Jan. 30-Feb. 12 . 2015

less, depressed, gay, straight, rich and poor neighbors as you do yourself.

I do not think you understand, though. I do not think you understand the fear. The fear of not being accepted everywhere you go. The fear of being seen as less of a human being than others. The fear of showing up to college on the first day of freshman orientation and seeing that everything the school preaches is against your very being. No human should experience that.

Growing up as a preacher’s son, I have been taught from birth that God loves me. God loves me not because of my sexual orientation, but because I am his creation and was created in his image. Even though I was aware of this from a very young age, I still faced the fear of coming out to my father. Not for a second did I think he would cease to love me when I came out to him, but it was that same element of fear that grasped me, causing me to hide it from my parents until it was eating me away inside.

Finally, I would like to add that I recognize and respect the religious freedom that this institution has, but I do not respect what you are doing with it. Until I am seeing freedom to practice religion being used for the good that God intended, you and your institution will have zero respect from the LGBT community, which is a shame for such a large university. I strongly urge you to reach out to the LGBT community and prove that your “Champions of Christ” truly love their neighbors as they do themselves. I genuinely hope to hear back from you with a vision of loving your neighbors as yourself. : : — Jacob C. Ratliff, 17, is a senior at Myers Park High School in Charlotte and president of his school’s Gay-Straight Alliance.

goqnotes.com/to/news

news notes: u.s./world.

Obama: Marriage equality a ‘story of freedom’ Mentions bisexuals and transgender people for first time in a State of the Union

call home,” said Obama, noting the rise in support for marriage equality.

On Jan. 16, the U.S. Supreme Court agreed to hear cases seeking marriage rights for same-sex couples initially filed in four states: Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky and Tennessee.

Six of the high court’s nine justices were in attendance for the State of the Union, including Chief Justice John Roberts.

Obama, who came out in support of samesex marriage in May 2012, also compared LGBT rights to the civil rights fight as he did in his second inaugural address when he said it was “our generation’s task” to carry on what was begun by “our forebears through Seneca Falls, and Selma, and Stonewall,” a reference to the fights for women’s rights, African-American rights and LGBT rights, respectively.

“As Americans, we respect human dignity, even when we’re threatened, which is why I’ve prohibited torture, and worked to make sure our use of new technology like drones is properly constrained,” said Obama.

news

“That’s why we defend free speech, and advocate for political prisoners, and condemn the persecution of women, or religious minorities, or people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. We do these things not only because they’re right, but because they make us safer.”

That statement marks the the first time a U.S. president has used the words transgender and bisexual in a State of the Union address, in addition to the specific use of the term lesbian rather than the generic gay, noted Slate.

Masen Davis, executive director of the Transgender Law Center in California, called Obama’s public recognition of transgender people in his State of the Union address “historic.”

“It is time for the American public to become aware of our stories and struggles both at home and around the globe,” Davis told The Huffington Post. : : — LGBTQ Nation (lgbtqnation.com), a qnotes news partner

QUICK HITS —————————————————————————————— Photo Credit: Pete Souza/White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Just months before the U.S. Supreme Court is scheduled to consider the issue of nationwide marriage equality, President Barack Obama on Jan. 20 praised the issue as “a story of freedom across our country” and “a civil right.”

In the sixth State of the Union address of his presidency, Obama said that Americans now

“value the dignity and worth” of gay citizens, and for the first time recognized lesbian, bisexual and transgender people in a State of the Union address.

“I’ve seen something like gay marriage go from a wedge issue used to drive us apart to a story of freedom across our country, a civil right now legal in states that seven in 10 Americans

The Islamic State, commonly known as ISIS or ISIL, released photos of its execution of two gay men. The men were tied and blindfolded before being pushed off the the top of a tall building. more: bit.ly/1AOPjj5 A former employee of Lowe’s has filed a federal lawsuit alleging anti-gay discrimination. The employee is based in New York. Lowe’s is headquartered in Mooresville, N.C. more: bit.ly/15zSJ1c

Pennsylvania Gov.-elect Tom Wolf has said he will appoint Dr. Rachel Levine, who is transgender, as the state’s physician general. more: bit.ly/15zSoeU A Maryland man has pleaded guilty to stabbing a 15-year-old transgender girl. The hate crime occurred last July on a D.C. Metro train station. He faces up to 15 years in prison at his sentencing in March. more: bit.ly/1L17t9y

Supreme Court will hear gay marriage cases

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The U.S. Supreme Court announced Jan. 16 it will hear four cases on the issue of same-gender marriage equality. The four cases, which do not include any cases from North Carolina, will be heard this term, with arguments likely in April and a decision as soon as this summer.

The cases are from Michigan, Kentucky, Ohio and Tennessee, four states which had their marriage bans upheld by the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals. That circuit’s decision split with others, including the Fourth Circuit, which overturned anti-LGBT marriage laws. In October, the Supreme Court declined to hear appeals from the Fourth, Seventh and Tenth Circuits. That decision paved the way for North Carolina to open marriage to same-gender couples later the same week.

North Carolina’s Republican legislative leaders have been seeking to reverse the rulings here. They have asked the Supreme Court to hear their appeal, hoping to bypass the Fourth Circuit. The Supreme Court has not responded to that request.

Advocates in North Carolina are looking forward to the Supreme Court hearings this year.

“This is the year the Supreme Court can finally end the pain and confusion facing countless same-sex couples living in states still burdened with discriminatory anti-marriage laws, as well as help silence those in states like ours who still wish to undermine the commitment of loving, married same-sex couples at every opportunity,” Chris Sgro, executive director of Equality North Carolina, said in a release.

Sgro added, “While our work is far from over in North Carolina, we look forward to a Supreme Court decision in favor of the freedom to marry as a historic and important milestone on the road to full equality under the law for all LGBT North Carolinians.”

The Rev. Jasmine Beach-Ferrara, executive director of the Asheville-based Campaign for Southern Equality, said on Jan. 16 that she is “confident” the high court will rule in LGBT couples’ favor.

“It’s clear that no valid legal arguments exist to uphold bans on same-sex marriage. For that reason we are confident the U.S. Supreme Court will rule that same-sex couples have a fundamental right to marry under the U.S. Constitution – no matter which of

the 50 states or territories they reside in,” Beach-Ferrara said.

The Campaign for Southern Equality assisted with one of the four cases seeking marriage equality in North Carolina, conducting the public education campaign accompanying a case brought by the United Church of Christ and several diverse members of the clergy and couples. The group is plaintiff to a marriage case in Mississippi. : :

Jan. 30-Feb. 12 . 2015

qnotes

5

news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen & Matt Comer

Rabbi to leave post CHARLOTTE — In July 2016, Rabbi Judy Schindler, will leave her post at Temple Beth-El, 5101 Providence Rd., to focus on academic pursuits and social justice, The Charlotte Observer reported on Jan. 20. She will remain at Temple Beth El during the 18-month transition while the congregation installs a new senior rabbi.

The first female rabbi in the city, she has served as senior rabbi at the Reform congregation since 2003, taking over when Rabbi James Bennett relocated to Missouri to accept another pulpit.

However, Schindler shared that she was not leaving the Queen City. She is working on a book “to help congregations move from volunteerism to activism.” She is also a strong advocate for Israel and interfaith cooperation.

“Fellow clergy and other Charlotte leaders called Schindler a strong voice for the most vulnerable members of society and said they were encouraged she plans to remain in town,” the Observer said.

Rev. Steve Shoemaker, Myers Park Baptist Church’s former Photo Credit: pastor, said that she “had a profound impact on the city.” The Temple Beth El two led their congregants on a trip to Israel in 2013. “She’s been a champion of justice, an exemplar of Jewish piety and a leader in interfaith relationships, especially between the three Abrahamic faiths,” he added.

She has championed work with the at-risk children’s Shalom Freedom School, Room in the Inn and Mecklenburg Ministries. Maria Hanlin, former Mecklenburg Ministries executive director, in creating three award-winning documentaries focusing on congregational work with impoverished schools, affordable housing advocacy, as well as bullying in schools.

Schindler was inspired from an early age by her late father, Rabbi Alexander Schindler.

The Observer reported, “As president of the national Reform Judaism association, Alexander Schindler established a towering record on social justice issues. He called on the Jewish community, for example, to welcome interfaith couples and gays and lesbians into synagogue life.

Said Garmon-Brown of his daughter, ‘I think she is just following the spirit within her.’”

She and other local clergy took a number of couples to Washington, D.C., to officiate at same-sex marriages in 2011.

When marriage equality came to North Carolina, she performed the first same-sex wedding in the synagogue on Oct. 17 when she pronounced Kim Pearl and Karen Millman as legal spouses.

The Observer added, “The synagogue board has voted to bestow Emeritus status on Schindler, a designation that ‘will make permanent a relationship with Rabbi Judy going forward, no matter where her path may lead,’ temple President Jack Levinson wrote to Beth El members.”

— L.M. and The Charlotte Observer, a qnotes media partner

Charlotte Pride hits the lanes

SALISBURY — Set up the pins! Salisbury Pride is hosting a bowling fundraiser on Jan. 31 at Woodleaf Lanes, 1811 Jake Alexander Blvd.

Regular bowling runs from 8:15-10:45 p.m. and cosmic bowling spans from 11 p.m.-1 a.m.

Tickets are available in advance online for regular bowling for $20. Cosmic bowling slots can be purchased in advance online or at the door. Cost is $20/non-student and $15/student with college ID. In other news, the 3rd Annual Wine & Beer Tasting Fundraiser will be held on Feb. 7, 7 p.m., at Salisbury Wine Shop, 106 South Main St. Attendees will be able to enjoy a silent auction, along with wine and beer.

Tickets are available online or at the door and are $20. info/tickets: salisburypride.com.

— L.M.

Pep rally around corner

CHARLOTTE — The Forward 4 Love Pep Rally will be held on Feb. 6, 5 p.m., at Grady Cole Center, 310 N. Kings Dr. The event is being held in honor of Teen Dating Violence Awareness month.

Mecklenburg County Women’s Commission is serving as coordinators.

Commission member Melissa SiegelBarrios shared, “Our goal is to get young people to start talking about healthy relationships and

6

qnotes

Jan. 30-Feb. 12 . 2015

raise awareness about teen dating violence.

Overall we wish to share the message that everyone deserves a healthy relationship.”

Giveaways, food, music, cheer squad from Rocky River High School, marching band, photo booth and research fair will fill the event’s festivities. Live performances from Zebra Fish, a youth band, will round out the program.

Survivors will also share their stories and youth from Forward will provide information on how to become involved beyond the pep rally.

Also, a resource fair provides information to young people about community resources.

Many community organizations, such as Safe Alliance, the YMCA, Regional AIDS Interfaith Network (RAIN), Mecklenburg County Health Department, Legal Services of Southern Piedmont and the office Mecklenburg County Community Support Services Women’s Commission all plan to have resource tables.

Time Out Youth Center is planning on taking a contingency to the pep rally. An Urban Institute study in 2013 found that 43 percent of LGBT youth reported being victims of physical dating violence, a higher rate than the 29 percent of heterosexual youth who reported similar incidents. info: melissa.siegel-barrios@mecklenburg countync.gov — L.M.

Affinity group meets

CHARLOTTE — The Out on the Town affinity group from Blumenthal Performing Arts

Center will host a pre-show party before seeing “Phantom of the Opera” on Feb. 5, 6 p.m., at Chima Blue Restaurant and Bar, 206 N. College St. An RSVP is required by email to bcarter@ ncbpac.org.

For those who are not members, simply send an email to outonthetown@ncbpac.org with name, email address and address.

Go online or call the box office to check on available for tickets for the performance at 7:30 p.m. in the Belk Theatre, 130 N. Tryon St. info: ncbpac.org. 704-372-1000.

— L.M.

Guild sets year’s goals

CHARLOTTE — The Charlotte Business Guild held its board of director’s second annual planning retreat on Jan. 11 at the McColl Center for Art + Innovation.

Among the discussions were: creation of a membership program for Employee Resources Groups (ERG) and Business Resource Groups (BRG) to allow a broader network of professionals within the community; development of a task force charged with providing education to corporations, midsize and small businesses on trans specific needs within the workplace; redevelopment of the website to become more resource based and supply-chain driven to assist in driving traffic to our membership; implementation of a non-profit management/ administration training and certification series that will provide continuing education credits through proper accreditation while providing a much needed training for those who manage the community-based non-profits; and more.

It also shared the names of its 2015 officers and board of directors. They are: Chad Sevearance, president; Natasha Tutt, vice president; Lee Ziglar, secretary; Charles Oldham, treasurer; Frank Kalian and Barry Brodsky, programs and events committee; Barbara Green, programs and events chair; Ann Gonzales and Jen Carbuto, communications and marketing co-chairs; Lisa Hund and Caroline Bauer, development cochairs; Kendolyn Wright and James R. Rice, III, membership co-chairs; Zachary Tate, corporate relations committee; Maureen Carlomagno, development committee; and Teresa L. Davis, ex officio, immediate past president. info: charlottebusinessguild.org.

— L.M.

Condoms on ‘runway’

CHARLOTTE — Planned Parenthood South Atlantic will hold its first annual Condom Couture benefit on Feb. 21, 8 p.m., at The Chop Shop, 399 E. 35th St. This unique runway fashion show showcases local designers’ creations utilizing condoms to create fashionable, wearable art, promote safe sex and benefit Planned Parenthood.

The party includes cocktails, live music by Miami Dice, performers, DJs, dancing, fashion and models.

Emcee will be NoLimit Larry.

RSVPs for advanced seating for $25 are being taken up to Feb. 15. Cost was not available at press time for non-advance tickets.

Additionally, individual and corporate sponsors are being sought at levels ranging from $125-$1,500. Visit the website for more details. info: condomcoutureclt.com.

— L.M.

‘Heart’ mounted at theatre

CHARLOTTE — Theatre Charlotte, Eloise MacDonald Playhouse, 501 Queens Rd., will raise the curtain on “The Normal Heart” from March 20-April 4.

The award-winning production shares the story of the early days of the AIDS crisis and the sexual politics of New York. Written 25 years ago by Larry Kramer, its message is still powerful in today’s world. The play was made into a film and aired on HBO in 2014.

Different Roads Home is the presenting sponsor.

Tickets are $27 and can be purchased online. info: theatrecharlotte.org.

— L.M.

MeckPAC elects new board

CHARLOTTE — The MeckPAC Steering Committee members elected Scott Bishop as its chair, continuing his service since first being appointed in 2011.

Joining him are Jamie Hildreth, vice chair; Larry Ferri, treasurer; and Crystal M. Richardson, secretary.

MeckPAC played a key role in working with then Charlotte City Manager Curt Walton to secure domestic partner benefits for the city’s LGBT employees and to add gender identity to the city’s non-discrimination policy. MeckPAC also worked with County Commissioner Kim Ratliff in 2013 to schedule a successful vote to add gender identity to the county’s non-discrimination policy. info: meckpac.org.

— L.M.

Triad Movie showing upcoming

WINSTON-SALEM — Out at the Movies Winston-Salem will screen “Limited Partnership” on Feb. 14, 7 p.m., at the University of North Carolina School of the Arts’ ACE Theatre, 1533 S. Main St. The movie tells the love story of FilipinoAmerican Richard Adams and his Australian husband, Tony Sullivan. Thanks to a courageous county clerk in Boulder, Colo., they became one of the first same-sex couples to be legally married in the U.S. in 1975. Afterward challenges ensued when Adams attempts to file for a green card. The Immigration and Nationalization Service denied the petition stating, “You have failed to establish that a bona fide marital relationship can exist between two faggots.” Outraged, the couple filed the first federal lawsuit against the U.S. government seeking equal treatment in marriage.

Tickets are $6 and will be available in the lobby beginning at 6:15 p.m. info: outatthemovieswinston.org.

— L.M.

Educational session slated

GREENSBORO — Greensboro Area Health Education Center will present “Meeting the Health Care Needs of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender People: Ending Invisibility and Knowing Your Patients,” on March 10, 9 a.m., at Moses H. Cone Hospital, 1123 N. Church St. The workshop will be interactive and comes with dialogue surrounding the healthcare needs of the LGBT community.

Co-sponsors are Greensboro AHEC and the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill School of Social Work. Continuing Education Units are available.

Cost is $80 which includes a light breakfast. info: gahec.org.

— L.M.

Gala and party set

GREENSBORO — The Guilford Green Foundation has announced that it will hold its Gala & Green Party on March 28, 7 p.m., at the Proximity Hotel, 704 Green Valley Rd.

goqnotes.com/to/news

This event is being promoted as “the wedding reception we’ve all been waiting for.”

After registration at 7 p.m., attendees will be able to enjoy hors d’oeuvres, cocktails, live entertainment and a silent auction. The party begins at 10 p.m.

The foundation will also be handing out their Visionary, Distinguished Service and Distinguished Leadership Awards during the evening’s festivities. Deadline is March 2.

Nomination forms are available online.

Paperless tickets are $150 for those purchased before March 1 and $175 afterward.

Also, there are contribution levels ranging from $350-$10,000 that include tickets to the affair in varying numbers based upon amount donated.

Everyone registered will be placed on a master list, used at check-in.

The Proximity serves as the host hotel.

Accommodations are $169 per night on March 27-28 (includes a $50 donation per night from the hotel to the foundation) and automatic late check out. Call 336-379-8200 to reserve rooms. info: ggfnc.org. brenna@ggfnc.org.

— L.M.

Triangle Youth group initiates book project

DURHAM — inSIDEoUT will celebrate is 10-year anniversary in 2016 and is launching an “LGBTQ+ Activism Across the Decades” book project. The goal is to showcase the hard work that young LGBT activists have done in N.C. over the past decade and honor the people who have enabled them to con-

tinue the tradition of progressive organizing in the state.

They are seeking adult volunteers to collect as much content related to LGBTQ+ activism in N.C. Content will be divided into sections and will include profiles of every Gay-Straight Alliance in North Carolina, adult activist biographies and interviews, organizational and non-profit profiles, youth activist profiles (including iNSIDEoUT alumni), iNSIDEoUT archival material and news articles and

feature stories about youth activism across the state. Those interested in helping with research or have materials to donate should email rewells318@gmail.com. info: insideout180.org. insideoutamy@gmail.com.

— L.M.

Tola receives ordination

CHAPEL HILL — Elaine Tola was ordained as a vocational deacon in the Episcopal Church on Jan. 24 at The Canterbury School in Greensboro, N.C. Tola’s wife, Lauren Kilbourn, served as one of the cantors for the liturgy. Additionally, she assisted the vicar, Rt. Rev. Ann HodgesCopplein, in vesting Tola with her red stole during the ceremony.

The next day Tola ministered to her congregation, The Episcopal Church of the Advocate, 8410 Merrin Rd., during morning worship. The church is welcoming and affirming.

In addition to her duties at her church, Elaine Tola, center, with fellow Advocate friends who attended her she will be serving ordination are (left to right) Char Sullivan, Tom Trueblood, as a chaplain at the Nancy Trueblood, Nathan Kirkpatrick, Lauren Kilbourn, Sallie Moore, Lisa University of North Fischbeck and Martha Wheeler. Carolina hospitals.

news

info: theadvocatechurch.org.

— L.M.

Dads book to be published

DURHAM — Henry Amador-Batten will join author Hogan Hilling in penning “Dads Behaving Dadly: Truths, Tears and Triumphs of Gay Dads.”

Hilling’s “Dads Behaving Dadly: 67 Truths, Tears and Triumphs of Modern Fatherhood” debuted successfully in June 2014 and the author wanted to share the stories of gay dads worldwide. The new version will be comprised with a collection of stories with diverse family dynamics, income levels and ethnic backgrounds.

“We feel that the time is right to create this new platform in which to shine a light on the ever growing number of gay men joining the ranks of fatherhood,” Amador-Batten shared.

“It has become my honor and my obligation to become a storyteller for these dads. It is my sincere wish that this book will build bridges, touch hearts and help to solidify our place within the global parenting community,” he added.

The authors invite gay dads to submit stories for the upcoming book. To learn more about submissions, visit dadsquared.org.

Deadline is April 30.

Amador-Batten is a certified holistic life coach. Hilling is an expert on creating fatherfriendly environments in the community. info: dadsbehavingbadly.com. hogan@hogan hilling.com. info@dadsquared.org.

— L.M.

see News Notes on 15

Jan. 30-Feb. 12 . 2015

qnotes

7

goqnotes.com/to/news

news

Art Pope-backed conservative group targets N.C. LGBT leaders in ‘vast left-wing network’ ’Wait, is this the Onion? No just a press release by the Civitas Institute’

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com A right-wing think tank funded by conservative business owner and politico Art Pope is targeting LGBT community leaders in its new “Mapping the Left” website, providing a glimpse, they say, into a “vast, shadowy network” of groups and leaders that “make up the radical liberal left in North Carolina.”

The project comes from the Civitas Institute, funded and created by the Pope family and once named after Art Pope’s father, John William Pope.

The group has included several LGBT community groups, their staffers, board members and other volunteers, as well as documenting their funding sources and supporters. Individuals’ names also include other organization affiliations, some of which aren’t currently listed in the main database.

Civitas says it will unveil “new revelations” about their so-called left-wing network throughout the spring. The site, they say, is meant to expose a “well-organized progressive movement has built a network of groups that work together to push an extreme, liberal/progressive agenda that the media has failed to report upon.”

Among the groups and leaders targeted are Equality North Carolina and its related foundation. The site lists some current and former staffers and board members, including Chris Sgro, Jen Jones, Rod Goins, Ken Wittenauer, Mary Jamis and Crystal Richardson. Even folks like Dan Gurley, a died-in-the-wool Republican supporter of Equality NC, doesn’t get a pass.

Other groups include the Asheville-based Campaign for Southern Equality and its executive director the Rev. Jasmine Beach-Ferrara, LGBT-affirming Binkley Baptist Church in Chapel Hill, Yadkin Valley’s immigrant and LGBT rights group El Cambio and the NC AIDS Action Network.

The site also includes the Association of Welcoming and Affirming Baptists, a group they note is based in New Hampshire but has six member congregations in North Carolina.

The groups are collectively categorized under one of two categories: “homosexual rights” and “lesbian gay bisexual and transgender.”

Immigrant groups are listed, too, including Charlotte’s Latin American Coalition. That listing includes openly LGBT staffers Lacey Williams and Jaime Villeges.

Durham’s altnewsweekly, The Indy, doesn’t seem to be taking the new Civitas project all that seriously.

“Wait, is this the Onion? No just a press release by the Civitas Institute,” Indy begins its article on the project.

Here at qnotes, we’re just a tad bit disappointed and sad we weren’t included in such an illustrious group of change makers and courageous advocates for equality. : :

A page from the Civitas Institute’s “Mapping the Left” website, showing individuals associated with Equality North Carolina.

Charlotte community members discuss collaboration, future vision

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com CHARLOTTE — Nearly 60 community members gathered on Jan. 10 for an in-depth workshop session exploring ways to move the local LGBT community forward, with eyes geared toward collaboration, coalition building, communication and a shared future vision.

The workshop, the final event in a series of three community conversations, was held at the Levine Museum of the New South. Past events have included two panel discussions, tackling issues like racism, privilege, activism, organizational strength and sustainability. This writer was a past panelist and participated as a co-facilitator of a small group discussion on Jan. 10.

Those gathered split up into six small groups during the workshop, each spending about an hour discussing a given prompt or question, including ways community groups and leaders can better communicate, visions for better sharing resources, ways to increase the engagement and involvement of a broader portion of the community and strategies to focus on the future.

A consensus seemed to form as small groups came back together and shared their discussions — with most in agreement that a more formalized or institutionalized means of

8

qnotes

collaboration and communication was needed.

Some suggested that a coalition of LGBT non-profits be started to aid in collaboration.

Community groups and leaders have several times in the past, dating as far back as the early 1980s, pulled together to form organizational coalitions or leadership roundtables, but almost all fizzled out — some suggesting such groups lacked a longterm purpose to keep members engaged. To prevent burnout, some suggested such a group needed a collective mission and purpose working toward a shared future goal, something akin to the way in which local governments often create and work toward a 20-year city plan or vision.

Organizers of the discussion series were the Rev. Malu Fairley and Joshua Burford.

Organizations and community businesses represented at the community conversation included: Campus Pride, Charlotte Business Guild, Charlotte Black Gay Pride, Charlotte Lesbian & Gay Fund, Charlotte Pride, Clayworks, Equality North Carolina, the Freedom Center for Social Justice, Genderlines, Human Rights Campaign, the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte, Mecklenburg LGBT Political Action Committee, Myers Park Baptist Church, One Voice Chorus,

Jan. 30-Feb. 12 . 2015

PFLAG Charlotte, the PowerHouse Project, PRISM, qnotes, Regional AIDS Interfaith Network, Sacred Souls Community Church, Southern Country Charlotte, Time Out Youth and Visit Gay Charlotte, among others.

The series of community events was held in conjunction with the Levine Museum’s suite of LGBT history exhibits and as a part of the University of North Carolina-Charlotte Multicultural Resource Center’s “North Carolina Activist Series.”

Community meeting notes The following are notes from the Jan. 10 community meeting, compiled by the Rev. Malu Fairley and Joshua Burford. qnotes is reprinting the notes in an effort to provide wider distribution, including to community members who might not have reliable or regular access to the internet. For more information about the community meeting or questions on getting involved in the effort, email Burford at joshburford@ outlook.com. For assistance via telephone, call Matt Comer at 704-531-9988, who can direct you to Burford and other organizations.

A. Communication Between Organizations 1. C reating a viable list of local organizations

that includes college groups 2. Creation of a “Coalition of Leaders” organization that would meet quarterly with a common agenda under discussion 3. Selection of a leader for the group that is not currently in a leadership position someplace else, addressing issues related to the community within the group itself 4. Transparency of existing issues between groups in order to foster respect among organizations; commitment to transparency will allow people to deal with problems as they arise and not let them fester 5. Shared commitment to responses in a timely manner from local organizations and a commitment to holding boards accountable 6. Each organization will have a link on their website back to the master list 7. The master list should exist in multiple formats (web based, paper) 8. C reation of more “community conversations” hosted by different groups each time 9. C reation of an “Expo” (outside of the various Pride seasons) hosted by multiple groups to expose the community to resources

see Collaboration on 15

Jan. 30-Feb. 12 . 2015

qnotes

9

10

qnotes

Jan. 30-Feb. 12 . 2015

goqnotes.com/to/life

life

Love & Lust 2015

Opposites Attract Local couples share what makes their relationships special and unique

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

W

ith Valentine’s Day coming up, qnotes thought it would be touching to hear directly from local couples who have found themselves in unique and special relationships. You often hear that old cliché — that “opposites attract.” Sometimes, it’s true. We reached out to readers and the public and asked couples to participate in our short Q&A in celebration of Valentine’s Day and our annual Love & Lust issue. Here are three who responded with their personal stories…

But the couple doesn’t focus on their differences, saying they’re not “really sure that there are things that make us unique.” Their circle of friends, too, have seen no reason to focus on the differences.

“It’s been completely positive so far,” the couple says. “At this time, we really have not been treated any different from any other couple, gay or straight.”

And, like any relationship, they most value their honesty and commitment to each other.

“We acknowledge each other’s pasts and leave it there,” they say. “The communication and drive we both have is amazing.”

§

§

Nate & Chad

§

T

Paige & Jennifer

E

ngaged on Jan. 10, Paige Dula and Jennifer Story initially met on Match.com.

“Paige winked at me,” Jennifer says. It was the start of a blossoming relationship now 10 months in the making, though they say it “seems a lot longer, in a good way.”

The couple shares many differing characteristics.

“Paige is a computer geek, and I’m a social worker,” Story says. “Paige is transgender and I am cisgender. Paige is very focused and detail-oriented and I get distracted and probably have un-diagnosed ADHD.” Despite their personal differences, they’re in it for the long haul. “We both the other is amazing,” they say. “We respect each other. We are each other’s best friend and greatest cheerleader.”

And the responses to their relationship have been positive, too. Jennifer’s children have been accepting and the rest of their families have been affirming, too.

“If we pinpoint any negative, it has come from one or two of my lesbian friends who seem to mix up and don’t understand the difference between gender identity and sexual orientation, but they’ve learned to deal with it or be gone,” Jennifer says.

The couple adds, “Having so much support, makes us feel very good, and helps us ignore any negative feedback. The good simply over-shadows the bad.”

“We know it’s awesome,” Jennifer and Paige say of their love.

§

§

ogether now for more than three years, Nate Turner and Chad Sevearance met through mutual friends on the Charlotte Royals Rugby Team — moving from friends to a relationship and, just last May, getting engaged. They’ll be married this April.

The couple say their unique in several ways. In addition to being an interracial couple, they also share a difference in age. Nate is 26 and Chad is 37. And they’re both from somewhat different parts of the county. Nate hails from Maryland and Chad is a North Carolina native.

Reaction to their relationship from strangers hasn’t always been kind.

Once, when Chad’s mother was rushed to the emergency room, Nate was stopped and questioned about his relationship — discrimination stemming from both his same-gender relationship and skin color.

“After Nate was banned from the property for trespassing, I contacted the hospital administration on duty and the problem was corrected and an apology given by the doctor on duty and chief nursing officer as well as a written letter from the VP of Ops for the issue,” Chad says of the incident.

But the differences that once led to discrimination are cherished Edward & and accepted David by family, friends and colleagues.

“We feel our friends reflect the diversity within our own relationship,” they say. : :

§

O

f our three featured couples, Edward McCray and David De’ Laurentis have been together the shortest. They met through a mutual friend two-and-a-half months ago and hit it off.

The guys say they’ve found plenty of unique things about their relationship — their height differential among them.

Edward is six feet tall, and David is just 5’5”. As an interracial couple, they also find some difference. Edward is African American and David is Mexican and Spanish.

Have your own unique relationship story to share? Want to tell the world about you and your partner’s love, despite differences like skin color, age, gender, political views, religious affiliation or other differences? Hope online at goqnotes.com/oppositecouples/ to share your story.

Credit: Webdesignhot via all-free-download.com

Jan. 30-Feb. 12 . 2015

qnotes

11

Love & Lust 2015

Let’s Get it On: How Charlotteans like their sex A totally unscientific review of sexual tastes and desires in Charlotte

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

P

eople in Charlotte are freaky. In a good way, or whatever way makes you feel good. There’s no judgment here. But either way you look at it, Charlotte has a lot of folks looking for just about every imaginable kind of sexual fun. And we have the data to prove it. Unscientifically, of course.

Every once in a while, you’ll see a new “study” pop up on gay gossip blogs or elsewhere, claiming to rate cities by the number of tops or bottoms. These stories are a dime a dozen — often predictable in their outcomes. But, it got us to thinking — what makes Charlotte tick?

We pulled up our internet browser, logged on to Craigslist’s local personals and “Casual Encounters” section and did a little data compilation.

First, some notes: Our (again, totally unscientific) review was conducted on Jan. 25. The oldest viewable posts we could find date back to Dec. 11, 2014. The most we could view in any one category was 2,500, even if the total number of posts were much more than that.

12

qnotes

Jan. 30-Feb. 12 . 2015

the oldest dating back to Dec. 11. Women seeking male partners had 246 posts, again dating back to Dec. 11.

Men seeking the company of women had much higher numbers — 2,190 posts back to Dec. 11.

But men who wanted to get it on with other men — they took the cake, with 4,542 results, of which only 2,500 dating back to Jan. 4 were viewable.

And there were much higher numbers in the more salacious “Casual Encounters” section: Men seeking men................ 11,192 posts, of which 2,500 dating back to Jan. 20 were viewable Women seeking women..... 587 posts Women seeking men.......... 1,093 posts Men seeking women.......... 8,093 posts, of which 2,500 dating back to Jan. 17 were viewable And members of the trans community are getting it on, too.

Transgender folks searching for male partners saw the highest number of post — 888 — followed by males searching for transgender partners at 516 posts.

Who’s looking for whom?

Men — you’re all horn dogs. Gay, straight, bi or whatever, you far outrank women when it comes searching for sex online.

Women seeking other women pulled up just a paltry 303 posts,

Want to host a party?

Two’s company. Three’s a crowd. But not for everyone. Again — gay, straight, bi, trains and more — folks in Charlotte seem down to party.

see Get it on on 15

goqnotes.com/to/life

life

Love & Lust 2015

Top to Bottom: All the things your sex ed teacher never told you Local clinician answers frank, honest questions on LGBT sex, sexuality and health

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

Y

ou know you remember it. That time, palms all sweaty, you sat silently and nervously as your sex ed teacher talked about all those horrible diseases. You desperately wanted to know how you could prevent them in your own sex life — a kind of sex your conservative teacher or school district refused to recognize.

No mention of blowjobs and certainly no mention of gay sex. Well, it’s qnotes’ annual sex issue and we’re here to help.

We sat down with Wes Thompson, a physician assistant who works at Rosedale Infectious Diseases. He sees LGBT clients all the time and knows exactly how to answer even the most sensitive of questions. Here are some we threw his way…

1. Should I really use a condom during a blowjob, when I go down on a woman or during rimming? No one I know ever does.

I hear this a lot from my patients, as well. While most people do not use condoms during oral sex, condoms will reduce the chance of STDs. If you’re not going to use condoms, please be sure to get routine STD screenings that include getting your throat and butt swabbed and genitals checked. Gonorrhea and chlamydia of the throat and butt are most often asymptomatic and you don’t know you have them.

2. If I’m giving a guy a blowjob, is it safer to spit or swallow?

They’re about the same. For those people who like to swallow, your esophagus gets more acidic on the way down and this acidity kills the virus before it hits the stomach. So, it’s really the same either way.

3. Straight people “pull out” to try to prevent pregnancy, can I do the same thing during anal sex to prevent HIV infection?

“Pulling out” to prevent pregnancy is supposed to work, but oftentimes there is semen present in pre-cum, so it doesn’t always work. The same is true for HIV and STDs. Even if you’re not a leaker, you can still transmit HIV and other STDs in pre-cum.

goqnotes.com

4. Is there a higher chance of STD infection for me and her, if she is having her period?

Theoretically, there is a higher risk of STD infection when a woman is on her period, for several reasons. There is blood present, which

carries HIV. The lining of the vagina changes during a period and makes it more susceptible to infection for both female and male partners. Also, blood gets very sticky under friction, so intercourse during a period can cause more irritation to the penis, to the vagina and to external genitalia for women if you have sex during a period.

5. Is there anything unsafe about a fetish like watersports?

In the absence of a bladder infection or an STD, urine is sterile and there is no problem with watersports. Enjoy it.

6. I’ve heard anal sex can be really painful. Is there anything I can do to prepare?

Anal sex, just like vaginal sex, is something one has to get used to. Vaginal sex is sometimes painful until a woman learns to relax and it becomes customary. The same is true for anal sex. There are techniques to learn how to relax and prepare yourself, and don’t forget to use lots of lube and take your time.

7. Everyone seems to have an obsession over big cocks. What is the average size of a dick?

Average cock size with all men is 5.6 inches measured from the base of the penis — that’s the side closest to your belly button.

Unfortunately, most porn stars start at their butt hole and measure forward. Interestingly, 48 percent of all men — gay, bi or straight — are worried that their penis is too small. But the range for the majority of men — 95 percent of all men — is a penis be-

tween 4.7 inches and 6.3 inches in length, again measured from the base. Only 15 percent of men actually get over 7 inches, three percent over 8 inches and 1 percent over 9 inches. Also, you cannot tell how big someone is when they are soft or flaccid. Some men are growers and some are showers; there’s no correlation and you can’t even guess most of the time. People also say that you can judge the size of a penis by the size of feet or a thumb or a nose or some other body part. That is not true.

Additionally, there was also a great study published in 1999 that said — for reasons we don’t quite know, perhaps because of the exposure of prenatal hormones — that, overall, gay penises when compared to straight penises were slightly larger in length.

9. People call me a slut or a whore just because I have sex often. What do you think is a healthy sex life?

A healthy sex life is one that you enjoy and one that does not interfere with the rest of your life. For example, if you call out from work, avoid family or skip school in your pursuit of sex, then it’s too much. If you plan on having sex with one person, but end up having sex with five people over the weekend, that, too, could mean that sex is an issue or a problem for you. If your pursuit of sex includes sitting on porn sites, viewing porn and masturbating, instead of interacting with people, then sex might also be an issue for you. If you think sex addiction might be an issue, there are numerous support groups in town for people who are sex or love addicts. Also, many clinicians can evaluate whether or not you are addicted to sex. For more information or assistance, contact us here at Rosedale ID. 10. My partner has asked me how many people I’ve had sex with. Is this really all that important?

Most of the time, this question means some anxiety on your partner’s behalf. He or she may worry that you’re more experienced and they are not going to be able to please you sexually. It could also mean they are concerned about STDs. I would recommend open and honest conversations. : : — For more assistance, contact the staff at Rosedale ID at rosedaleid.com or by phone at 704-948-8591.

Rosedale ID is located at 103 Commerce Centre Dr. in Huntersville.

daily news, blog posts and lgbt community event listings Sign up for our weekly e-newsletter: goqnotes.com/subs

Jan. 30-Feb. 12 . 2015

qnotes

13

goqnotes.com/to/arts

tell trinity

by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

Tell him ASAP that ‘you’re just not interested’ Dear Trinity, I’ve always just avoided people I don’t want to see after a few dates, but this time we work together. Help?

Employee Relations, Roanoke, VA

you’re “just not interested”, b) do it kindly and politely (even though she’ll probably hate you anyway) and, lastly, c) be stern, clear and leave no room for confusion, i.e. “I’m not interested anymore. Thank you anyway!” Good luck!

Dear Employee Relations, When I was young, learning about integrity, I also used to just stop calling, disappear or completely avoid someone I didn’t want to see anymore. Then poof — I grew up and started acting responsibly. One day I just realized, old dates are like septic tanks, if you don’t leave them clean, they’ll find a way to come back and stink up your life. So, pumpkin, if you must stop seeing someone, a) let him know ASAP that

Hey Trinity, I guess I should have brought something but…! When is or isn’t it appropriate to bring something to a dinner party?

Dinner Doubts, Austin, TX Hey Dinner Doubts, It’s always appropriate to bring something to a dinner party! Now, I know you’re thinking, “But what about when the host says don’t bother?”

Well, maybe it’s OK if you’re a street beggar or not educated in a European culture, but why not just bring a bottle of wine, some cookies or a thank you card!

Hosts of parties always appreciate and always remember the guests who bring something. In other words, if you don’t leave a lasting impression, honey, you won’t always receive a lasting invitation! (Hey, it’s better to be a kindly guest than not. See my cartoon for some clues on this subject!)

Dear Trinity, I was dating this guy who did something so hurtful to me that I want to get back at him. What type of revenge would you suggest?

Needing Revenge, Columbia, S.C. Dear Needing Revenge, You could physically harm him, his property and his family, sue him or have him arrested on bogus charges. Or, (now sit down) you could forget all about him, move on with your life and find happiness in healthier relationships.

Sweetie, revenge is for Disney characters and James Bond stand-ins, not for smart, secure, enlightened beings. It’s always best to spend time looking for new dates rather than wasting life’s precious moments on revenging old ones!

Hello Trinity, When I’m out with my girlfriend, she always talks to other girls. She also doesn’t always want to tell me everything she’s doing when we’re apart. She says, “I should stop acting so jealous,” but I feel like I can’t trust her. Don’t I have a right to be jealous?

Jealousy Rights, Queens, NY Hello Jealousy Rights, You have every right in the world to feel your feelings and to trust your intuition, but you also have every right to stop negative thoughts!

Everyone talks to people and has things they don’t feel like sharing. Healthy relationships do not include jealousy, control or drama.

So, darling, no you don’t have a right to be jealous. However, you do have a right to be clearheaded while you read:

14

qnotes

Jan. 30-Feb. 12 . 2015

a&e

Trinity’s Eye Opening Realities About Jealousy 1. Jealousy creates tension between people and destroys relationships.

2. Jealousy makes people say and do unimpressive, unnecessary and unkind things.

3. Jealousy is a direct expression of mistrust!

4. Jealousy is a sign of fear and insecurity.

5. Jealousy has no positive effects on any relationship.

6. Jealousy is exciting in paperback novels, but a disaster in the real world!

7. Jealousy turns mild-mannered men and women into monsters and maniacs!

8. Jealousy can be avoided with communication, good self-esteem and love.

9. Jealousy has no place in a healthy, happy, harmonious home, office or well-working environment!

10. Lastly, jealousy is not about what someone is doing to you, but about what you are doing to yourself. Think about it! info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

goqnotes.com/to/news

News Notes

Collaboration

continued from page 9

continued from page 8

Western Financial workshop slated

ASHEVILLE — A free financial planning workshop for LGBT couples will be held on Feb. 4, 3 p.m., at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Transylvania County, 24 Varsity St. Jon Randolph Green, president, Encompass Advisors, will lead the session. Tax, legal, insurance and retirements issues will be explored. info: Kristine Tuggle, kbt@eaweb.us.

828-884-8840.

— L.M.

Author unveils book

ASHEVILLE — Lori Horvitz will host a free book launch party on Feb. 7, 7 p.m., at Edna’s of Asheville Coffee House & Cafe, 870 Merrimon Ave. Eva Reynolds will join Horvitz as host.

The evening will be filled with excerpt reading from “The Girls of Usually,” food, coffee, beer,

Get it on continued from page 12 Opposite-gender couples seem to be the most party hardy. Couples looking for other opposite-gender couples had 407 posts in their category, with opposite-gender couples searching for women coming up at 539 posts.

Males looking for opposite-gender couples came in at 1,155 posts.

wine and books for purchase. Her piece tells her story of traveling the world “in search of… something.” It unfolds into self-acceptance and discovery.

Horvitz is founder and organizer of the Queer Girls Literary Readings group. She serves as professor of literature and language at the University of North Carolina-Asheville.

The book is published by Truman State University Press and is available in print at $16.95 and as an ebook for $9.99. Both can be purchased online at tsup.truman.edu/item. asp?itemId=503. info: lorihorvitz.com.

— L.M.

Sweethearts’ dance planned

ASHEVILLE — The Asheville Lesbian Social Club will host a Valentine’s dance on Feb. 14, 7:30 p.m., at Club Eleven on Grove, 11 Grove St. Host is the Dance Divas and DJ Esella will spin tunes. Special requests can be submitted by email to esellat@yahoo.com.

Filtered water and snacks will be provided and a cash bar will be available.

Admission is $10, including admission to Scandals downstairs at 10 p.m. with bartender stamp. info: etledder@charter.net.

— L.M. Have news or other information? Send your press releases and updates for inclusion in our News Notes: editor@goqnotes.com.

B. Issues vs. Framework (or how do we get past dealing with only problems as they arise) 1. “ Common Vision; Coordinated Communication; Shared Infrastructure” thinking through how we can create a framework that will allow us to work not just together but smarter together 2. Creation of a framework of shared issues that can be applied to individual organizations; creation of shared goals between groups and not just individual goals for a simple group 3. C reation of a 10/20/30 plan for the community 4. Yearly progress reports from local organizations that we share with the entire community 5. Hiring of a full time communications person that would be shared with multiple organizations (management would include funding sources, resource allocation, and time management) 6. C reation of a list of stakeholders outside the Queer community C. Expanding the Table 1. S torytelling efforts coordinated by the local community as an opportunity not only to preserve these stories but as a way of engaging multiple constituents (across age groups, socioeconomic groups etc.)

2. C reation of less formal gatherings (not just black tie fundraisers) for people to engage with the community 3. C ommunity Needs Assessment: the current Community Center board is beginning this process so we need to establish buy-in from organizations and community members

news

4. S pace to have conversations about what it means to be an “Ally” both inside & outside the community D. Intersectional Work 1. F inding ways to connect groups together that are not currently working together 2. A monthly/quarterly education series for people to share knowledge and resources 3. Less formal community events (more like a Meet-Up): Using this as an opportunity to think about who we are inviting to events, and how we are asking people to participate 4. S etting aside shared funding resources to allow groups to work together or plan together 5. U sing Visit Gay Charlotte as a means to be the primary welcome site online for the local community E. Collaboration Between Organizations 1. C reating buy-in and education around collaboration: helping people to understand “why” we should work together and “how” that is accomplished.

2. E ach local group will find 3 other groups that will help it fulfill its mission and contacting them about a collaborative project opportunity (thus creating a Ripple Effect) 3. C reating a map of what groups “Don’t” do as well as what the “Actually” do to help people better understand local resources 4. C reation of clear and visible Mission Statements for local organizations : :

You’re never too old for sex One might be tempted to think that only the youngest of folks are looking for sex online, but that’s not the case. People of all ages, including senior citizens, are turning to the internet for love and lust: 18-24......... 4,237 posts 45-54 ........ 2,888 posts 25-34......... 6,445 posts 55-64 ........ 468 posts 35-44......... 3,835 posts 65+............ 319 posts We found 100 posts, including some extra results from across the Carolinas region — in the 65-74 year old bracket, but none over 75.

What are you into?

We got even more curious, wanting to know a little bit more about the folks turning to Craigslist for fun. We dug a little deeper searching for commonly used keywords or slang in the Casual Encounters section.

We tried running through some lesbian and other female keywords in their Casual Encounters section, but mostly turned up results that weren’t local. So, we turned to the men-seeking-men section, which offered up far more usable data. Here’s our results for some of those keywords and slang terms and the number of posts in which they appeared. straight or str8........................................1,119 posts top..............................................................1,837 posts bottom ......................................................2,057 posts vers or versatile...................................... 603 posts young........................................................ 865 posts daddy........................................................ 221 posts dom........................................................... 149 posts sub............................................................. 201 posts fwb or friend with benefits................... 184 posts bb, bareback, raw or breed................. 430 posts

Jan. 30-Feb. 12 . 2015

qnotes

15

16/5:65 3(> 6--0*, 3HYY` > 1VOUZVU (;;695,@

7OVUL! -H_!

7 6 )V_ /PJRVY` 5*

31VOUZVU'31VOUZVU3H^6MÄ JL JVT

16

qnotes

Jan. 30-Feb. 12 . 2015

goqnotes.com/to/life

life

SPORTS

Playing the Field Match-ups from across the Carolinas: Spring season heats up

by Jon Hoppel :: qnotes contributor determine a player’s skill level to properly place them on a team. This clinic is also open to returning players and is a good way to meet other people in the league. Also, if you have interest in bringing a complete team into the league, that is welcome, as well.

The league will be played on Sundays at Revolution Park, 1225 Remount Rd., between the hours of 1 p.m. and 6 p.m., except for holidays. For any further questions or information, follow the league on Facebook, or at their website, carolinasoftball.org.

Team Glam Newton won the beer pong tournament hosted by The Charlotte Royals. Pictured left to right are Jon Hoppel and Dustin Slate.

Photo Credit: Chris Wingard.

It is about that time of year when a lot of your local sports teams are beginning to start up their leagues or are commencing their training for their spring seasons. Here are some dates to help you find an activity (or three!) to participate in for the 2015 year!

Rugby The Charlotte Royals will have the Rugby 101 Boot camp on Saturday, Feb. 7, at Cordelia Park, 2100 N. Davidson St. This event will be a controlled practice headed up by Coach Amanda Vestal and will take new players through some basic rugby drills, some low level fitness exercises and help define and explain some rugby terms and jargon. The entire Royals team will be there, participating in the drills as well, so it will provide an excellent opportunity to meet the team and coach. To learn more, visit charlotteroyalsrugby.com.

But if you would rather just come out and watch the team, here is their spring schedule: March 7: Table Rock @ Charlotte Tuckaseegee Park 4820 Tuckaseegee Rd. March 21: Round Robin Charleston, Atlanta, and Charlotte The Rugby Athletic Center in Charlotte 3722 South Tryon St. April 4: Charlotte @ Guilford College

Kickball league welcomes players

CHARLOTTE — Co-ed LGBT and ally Stonewall Kickball Charlotte will be comprised of two leagues with six teams each. Returning players’ registration will begin on Feb. 5 and new players on Feb. 9. Participants must be 21 and over. Registration closes on Feb. 16. Registration can be accessed through the group’s website.

More details will be shared on the league’s Facebook page as they become available. Cost is $30 which includes a league T-shirt.

A free-agent social will take place on Feb. 15, 3 p.m., at The Bar at 316, 316 Rensselaer Ave.

Guildford College Athletic Fields 5800 W. Friendly Ave. April 25: Colonial Cup Tournament Philadelphia, PA May 2: Charlotte @ Charleston Charleston, SC May 16: Prom Dress Match — Nashville @ Charlotte Tuckaseegee Park 4820 Tuckaseegee Rd. Also, in case you missed it, the Royals hosted their annual Beer Pong tournament at Sidelines Sports Bar, 4544 South Blvd., on Friday Jan. 9. It was a massive turnout with 28 teams competing in the double elimination tournament for the $50 dollar prize (and bragging rights for the entire year.) The deep and talented event started at 9 p.m. and lasted into the morning hours. In the end, however, team Glam Newton ending up taking home the championship, dispatching their opponents 6 cups to 2. The event helped raise hundreds of dollars for the Charlotte Royals, and the entire team would like to thank everyone who attended.

Kickball If softball is not your speed and you are looking for something a little less physically demanding, then check out the co-ed Stonewall Kickball Charlotte league. This league’s second season starts March 8 at Veteran’s Park, 2136 Central Ave. After being played on Tuesday nights this past season, kickball will move to Sunday afternoons from 12:30 p.m. until 3:30 p.m.

This will provide a difficult choice for people who played both softball and kickball last season, but unfortunately, sometimes leagues choose to compete against each other for participation and resources. If you would like more information on signing up, go to stonewallkickballcharlotte. leagueapps.com/. : :

Softball Carolina Softball Alliance is planning on holding open clinics March 15 and 22 for any new players that want to join the league.

These clinics are integral in helping the league

On March 7, 10 a.m., a clinic and open practice will take place at Veteran’s Park, 2136 Central Ave., with a season opening party that evening at The Bar at 316 at 7 p.m.

Regular season games begin at 12:30 p.m. on Sundays with Sunday Funday events following all games at The Bar at 316. Championship games will be held on May 17. info: stonewallkickballcharlotte.leagueapps. com. facebook.com/stonewallkickballcharlotte. charlotte@stonewallkickball.org.

— Lainey Millen

Jan. 30-Feb. 12 . 2015

qnotes

17

EVENTS

February-March 2015 Salisbury Pride Beer/Wine Tasting 106 S. Main St., Salisbury 6 p.m.

Salisbury Pride hosts a beer and wine tasting fundraiser. $20 admission online at or at the door. salisburypride.com –––––––––––––––––––– Carolina Bear Lodge Anniversary Five Star Chinese 511 W. Hargett St.., Raleigh 6:30 p.m.

Carolina Bear Lodge hosts an anniversary dinner. Cocktails begin at 6:30 p.m. with dinner at 7 p.m. $10 for members and $20 for guests. The group’s monthly bear night at Flex Nightclub and Bar, 2 S. West St., follows. Register for the dinner at eventbrite.com/e/carolinabear-lodge-21th-anniversary-dinnertickets-15264503541.

SEP FEB MO

00 07

HRC Diner Draught Charlotte 601 S. Cedar St., Charlotte 6:30 p.m.

SEP FEB MO

00 12

The Human Rights Campaign Carolina Gala Host Committee presents this year’s HRC Drag Diner, hosted by Buff Faye. The event promises a fun night of drag, fun, food, drinks and entertainment. Admission is $25 and includes dinner. A cash bar is available. For more information contact Marty at martym1974@gmail.com or Joe at joeyd32@gmail.com. Tickets are available online at action.hrc.org/site/ Calendar?id=122941&view=Detail.

Freedom Forum: Do the Right Thing Levine Museum of the New South, 200 E. 7th St., Charlotte 6:30 p.m.

SEP FEB MO

00 12

The Levine Museum of the New South hosts a screening of the 1989 Spike Lee film, “Do the Right Thing,” which tells the story of a New York City neighborhood’s tragedy in the face of simmering racial tensions. The screening will be followed by a panel discussion featuring filmmaker and community organizer Bree Newsome, student activist Elisa Benitez, Charlotte-Mecklenburg Community Relations Committee Executive Director Willie Ratchford and student activist Blake Brockington. The event is free. Online registration is requested. The event is presented as part of the museum’s “Destination Freedom: Civil Rights Struggles Then and Now” exhibit and program series and sponsored by Bank of America, UNC-Charlotte and the Arts & Science Council. museumofthenewsouth.org

Submit your event to our calendar!

You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a three-for-one entry. All Charlotte-area events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes.com), the LGBT Center (lgbtcharlotte.org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com).

Moral March SEP FEB MO 2 E. South St., Raleigh Thousands attend the Moral March on Raleigh during the annual Historic Thousands on Jones Street march, sponsored by the North Carolina chapter of the NAACP. Come together with likeminded North Carolinians on labor rights, education, health care, equality and voting rights.

Gather at 9 a.m. and march to the North Carolina Capitol. hkonj.com –––––––––––––––––––– Love Wins Out Dance LGBT Center of Raleigh 324 S. Harrington St., Raleigh 7:30 p.m.

The LGBT Center of Raleigh’s SAGE program presents its Valentine’s Day dance, with DJ Robert, finger foods, soft drinks, beer and wine. Free admission, $10 donation suggested. lgbtcenterofraleigh.com

00 14

LGBT Wedding Expo Sheraton Charlotte Hotel 555 S. McDowell St., Charlotte 12:30-3:30 p.m.

You are invited to the inaugural Charlotte “Same Love, Same Rights” LGBT Wedding Expo. Dozens of gayfriendly exhibitors will participate, eager to help you and your fiancee plan the ceremony of your dreams!

Photographers, DJs, officiants, wedding planners, venues, jewelers, invitations and more. Free raffle giveaways, LGBT wedding planning tips and trends. samelovesamerights.com

00 15

qnotes

Jan. 30-Feb. 12 . 2015

SEP MAR MO

00 20 20 00

HRC North Carolina Gala Charlotte Convention Center 501 S. College St., Charlotte 5:30-11 p.m.

The Human Rights Campaign presents their annual North Carolina Gala. The group expects more than 1,500 attendees at their signature local fundraising event. Information and tickets are available online. hrccarolina.org

SEP FEB MO

00 21

Continues through April 4 ‘The Normal Heart’ Theatre Charlotte 501 Queens Rd., Charlotte

Award-winning production about the early days of the AIDS crisis. Different Roads Home is presenting sponsor.

Tickets are $27 and available online. theatrecharlotte.com Guilford Green Foundation SEP MAR MO Gala & Green Party Proximity Hotel, 704 Green Valley Rd., Greensboro 7 p.m.

It’s the “wedding reception we’ve been waiting for” touts organizers. Hors d’oeuvres, cocktails, live entertainment and silent auction. Tickets are $150 before March 2 and $175 afterward. ggfnc.org

00 28

Statewide Community Centers

SEP FEB MO

To see more upcoming events, visit goqnotes.com/calendar/

18

HRC Takeover SEP FEB MO The Westin Charlotte 601 S. College St., Charlotte 7-11 p.m.

Dan Mauney returns with his signature Takeover Friday event at The Westin Charlotte’s lobby bar the night before the weekend’s Human Rights Campaign Gala festivities. takeoverfriday.com

Adult Ally Night The Bar 711 Rigsbee Ave., Durham Triangle-area youth group iNSIDEoUT hosts an adult ally fundraising night. A $5 cover goes directly to the group. The event is open only to those 18 and up, 21 to drink. insideout180.org

SEP MAR MO

00 07

LGBT Community Center of Charlotte Temporary Offices: Sensibly Chic, 830 Lamar Ave., Charlotte, NC 28204 704-333-0144 lgbtcharlotte.org LGBT Center of Raleigh 324 S. Harrington St., Raleigh, NC 27603, 919-832-4484 lgbtcenterofraleigh.com North Star LGBT Community Center 704 Brookstown Ave., Winston-Salem, NC 27101, 336-893-9053 northstarlgbtcc.com LGBTQ Center of Durham (virtual until facility is secured) Meeting Place: The Back Room, Mercury Studio 401 W. Geer Street, Durham NC 27701 lgbtqcenterofdurham.org

Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/

goqnotes.com/to/life

life

OUR PEOPLE:

Q&A with HRC’s 2015 Gala Co-Chairs Jason Boone, Jeremy Carter & Shelly Schoenfeld

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com the many achievements that have been accomplished this year in North Carolina, by people in the room and across the state.

Jeremy Carter Jeremy is one of those rare Charlotte natives. Yes, they do exist.

He lived in Atlanta for a while and moved back to his hometown 10 years ago. Carter works as a financial advisor and has been involved with HRC for a number of years, currently serving his first term as a member of the national board of governors. In the past, he’s chaired the Time Out Youth board and is currently serving as a member of From left: Shelly Schoenfeld, Jason Boone and Jeremy Carter. the Charlotte Lesbian & Gay Fund’s board.

The Human Rights Campaign Carolina Gala Your favorite color? Has it always been your is on its way to Uptown Charlotte. Slated for favorite color, even as a kid?

Feb. 21, the black-tie event will feature keynote Green —Yes, it has always been my favorite color. speakers, entertainers and awards. qnotes Are you a pet person? had the opportunity to catch up with the gala’s Absolutely, I have two dogs — my 10-year-old three co-chairs and get to know them a bit betvizsla Sarika and her very mischievous sister ter. Here are excerpts from our conversation Mina, a black mini schnauzer. with them. Log on to goqnotes.com/to/artsWhat are you most looking forward to for this entertainment/our-people/ to find the whole year’s HRC Carolina? conversation.

I am looking forward to celebrating 20 years!

It’s amazing to me that the NC gala has been so Jason Boone successful for so many years in our great state.

A native of LaGrange, N.C., Jason has lived We are one of the biggest in the country and I in Charlotte for 11 years, where he works in busithink that says a lot about our community and the ness continuity and crisis management for Bank commitment we have to equality. of America. He’s been involved with HRC for two years and also volunteers with and supports Time Shelly Schoenfeld Out Youth and Stonewall Kickball Charlotte.

Originally from Westerville, Ohio, Shelly What’s your favorite food? What’s so special has lived in the Queen City for 21 years, where about it? she works in credit risk management for Bank Seafood — Because it reminds me of growing of America. She’s been involved with HRC for up near the coast and of my roots. several years and, like Jeremy, is serving her What’s your perfect weekend evening? first term on the board of governors. She’s also My perfect night is usually spent on my back worked with Susan G. Komen Charlotte. deck, grilling out in the spring, summer and fall, What’s your favorite food? What’s so special surrounded by friends. Talking, laughing, and about it? really getting to know each other more deeply.

Italian — it reminds me of my Nana cooking in Are you a pet person? What kind and how her kitchen. many pets do you have?

Your favorite color? Has it always been your I’m very much a pet person. I have a rescued favorite color, even as a kid?

Boxer named Sammy. He has been a part of my Green and blue, always. life for going on seven years.

What’s your perfect weekend evening?

What’s your favorite Charlotte neighborhood?

I can be anywhere, as long as I’m surrounded What’s so special about it? by the people that I love and care about.

Elizabeth. The great thing about this neighborAre you a pet person? What kind and how hood is, by far, the people. For example, the many pets do you have? neighbors across the street 10 year old just this I’ve had cats all my life. I have an adopted past year had a lemonade stand to raise money 9-year old Maine Coon named Mackey. for Time Out Youth. She raised enough to pay What are you most looking forward to for this one month of their rent during her five-hour year’s HRC Carolina Gala? stint in the front yard.

I’m really looking forward to celebrating the What are you most looking forward to for this 20 years of HRC in North Carolina, as well as year’s HRC Carolina Gala? the tremendous successes our community has There are so many things, I can’t just name had. Our state has been such a strong supone! I am looking forward to seeing all of my porter of HRC and our commitment to equality 1,500 friends in black tie (I am a sucker for — we’re one of the largest Galas in the country a gala). I am looking for to the camaraderie — and I’m looking forward to showcasing that is shared in that room when so many some of the recent work HRC has been doing LGBT people get together for a common here locally. : : cause. I am looking forward to celebrating

Jan. 30-Feb. 12 . 2015

qnotes

19

20

qnotes

Jan. 30-Feb. 12 . 2015