QNotes, Feb. 10, 2017 by QnotesCarolinas

Feb. 10-23 . 2017

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Feb. 10-23 . 2017

inside

N.C. film premiere! ‘Thicker Than Blood’ opens to huge accolades page 12

qnotes news & features

arts. 4 entertainment. HB2 Updatenews. views. 4 2017 already looks disasterous 6 News Notes: Regional Briefs 8 News Notes: U.S./World Briefs 8 LGBTQ black civil rights icons

a&e / life&style 10 12 17 18 18 19

Kinky and queer N.C. film premiere Tell Trinity Q Events Calendar Our People: Devin Adams Dishing with Buff Faye

opinions & views 5 Learniing to love ourselves 14 Spiritual Reflections

extended online news coverage

5 things to know about HPV Find out ways to stay healthy as a gay man

Finding love in all the right places Matchmaking expert Tammy Shaklee shares tips on how to find someone for the long term

Feb. 10-23 . 2017

qnotes

qnotes connect Feb. 10-23, 2017 Vol 31 No 21

arts. entertainment. news. views. goqnotes.com twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue

Rev. Dr. Chris Ayers, Buff Faye, Maria Dominguez, Jacey Hoffman Lainey Millen, Jeff Taylor, Trinity

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The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBT and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBT life and social justice issues. Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Managing Editor: Jim Yarbrough, editor@goqnotes.com Assoc. Editor: Lainey Millen, specialassignments@goqnotes.com Social Media Editor: Jeff Taylor, jeff@goqnotes.com Staff Writer: Maria Dominguez, maria@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen, x205, production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.

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news

HB2 Update

Democrats push HB2 repeal bill in N.C. Senate Future of the bill is dubious despite Gov. Cooper’s support by Maria Dominguez :: qnotes staff RALEIGH, N.C. — The first step has been taken to get House Bill 2 (HB2) off North Carolina’s law books. Sen. Jeff Jackson of Charlotte, N.C. introduced legislation, Senate Bill 25 (SB25), on Feb. 2 that would fully repeal the discriminatory legislation that has cost North Carolina upwards of $600 million and forbids local non-discrimination ordinances. Though the first step has been taken, the future of the repeal is uncertain. The bill appeared on the Senate’s calendar, but was assigned to the Rules Committee headed up by Republican Sen. Bill Rabon. The fate of SB25 rests in Rabon’s hands. He can decide to call for a vote, or not, as he sees fit. Holding the puppet strings on the HB2 dance is Senate Leader Phil Berger, who has told Time Warner Cable News that repeal is unlikely in the near future. “I don’t see a pathway in the short term for there to be an addressing of that issue — I think it’s something that’s going to take some time,” Berger said. But HB2 opponents won’t give up yet. Gov. Roy Cooper insisted to reporters on Jan. 16 that “there are enough overall votes” even if there isn’t a Republican majority of support. A proposed repeal was voted down in late December, as it contained language that would prevent local non-discrimination protections, a condition that Democrats would not accept. SB25 proponent Sen. Jackson was adamant that a full repeal is necessary to prevent further damage to the North Carolina economy. “The economic consequences are not going to stop, they are going to

build unless we do what we obviously should do which is get this law off our books,” Jackson told WSOCTV. More than the economic consequences, HB2 has inflicted harm on the personal level for many North Carolina citizens. One transgender resident, Connie Bercham, has been actively contacting lawmakers to call for them to support full repeal. One response, from Rep. Mark Brody R-District 55, upset her. “I am saddened by the fact that North Carolina doesn’t provide the help you need to readjust from the mental disorder you suffer with,” Brody wrote to Bercham. “It appears that allowing you to use a bathroom, locker room or shower of your choice only reinforces the disorder not helps to correct it.” The mislabeling of transgender people as suffering from a mental condition dubbed “gender dysphoria” is all too common, and it does nothing to help their quality of life in a state that legally discriminates against them. “Too many of our representatives are representing their own personal views, and not the views of their constituency,” Berchem told WSOC-TV. “His words, I felt, were very demeaning.” Bercham’s point about constituents’ dislike of HB2 is supported by a recent survey conducted by Public Policy Polling. The polls show that 50 percent of voters oppose HB2 compared to 32 percent that support it. Of those surveyed, 58 percent believe it is hurting the state’s economy. It remains to be seen whether or when GOP lawmakers will reflect the public’s values on this matter. : :

Legislative Outlook

2017 already looks to be a disaster for LGBTQ rights Buckle up for a rough ride, it’s worse than the previous year by Jeff Taylor :: qnotes staff

Both would allow for discrimination in areas such as private busihe battle for LGBTQ rights in 2016 was a long, hard slog, with North ness, healthcare, employment and housing, so long as the individual doCarolina at the center of the fight, after the passage of House Bill 2. ing the discriminating cites a religious motivation However, 2017 looks to be even worse. for their refusal of goods and services. The Republican Party had a strong elecTrump has pledged to sign FADA into law should tion, sweeping Donald Trump into office and it pass Congress, and it is expected to be introduced ensuring that more states will have GOP soon. Trump’s nomination for Attorney General, Sen. single-party control in the House, Senate Jeff Sessions, recently defended the legislation in a and governor’s office. back-and-forth with Sen. Al Franken. As the Human Rights Campaign notes Sources close to the situation, speaking on in their recently released report “Preview condition of anonymity, told LGBTQ Nation (see bit. 2017: Pro-Equality and Anti-LGBTQ State ly/2kMMhLP) that the administration was considering and Local Legislation,” Republicans gained a sweeping “religious freedom” executive order, of control of the Iowa Senate, the Missouri which was raised by a reporter from the Washington governor’s office and the Kentucky House of Blade at a White House press conference. Press Representatives. Secretary Sean Spicer dodged the question. As with last year, most anti-LGBTQ leg- A rainbow flag is held up to the White House fence. The White House was then forced to answer islation is expected to crop up in the South. Photo Credit: Tony Webster via Wikimedia Commons, the question put to it by “NBC News” (see nbcIn 2016, out of more than 200 bills introCC 4.0 license. news.to/2kxL7XU), at which point a spokesperson duced, just eight passed both legislative said such an order was not the “plan at this time.” This was followed chambers and only five became law. With the change in power dynamics, by an official White House press statement that pledged not to overturn however, it will be harder to stop these pieces of legislation from reaching Former President Barack Obama’s executive order protecting federal that final stage and passing into law. employees from discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and genThere are fights brewing at every level. der identity. However the statement did not rule out a possible “religious freedom” executive order. National Trump spoke at length about the importance of religious liberty and On the national level, all eyes are on a possible President Donald freedom while speaking at the National Prayer Breakfast on Feb. 2, where Trump executive order allowing for “religious freedom”-style discrimination against the LGBTQ community and the possibility of Congress passing the First Amendment Defense Act (FADA), which would do likewise. see next page u

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Mirror image

Learning to love ourselves Gender and conformity by Jacey Hoffman :: guest contributor

s a transgender individual, I used to think that I needed to be the “ideal” man in order to be accepted within society. You know — big broad shoulders, scruffy face, charismatic smile. The older I’ve gotten and the further along in my transition that I get, I realize that “ideal” doesn’t mean squat. I mean, in all honesty what does “ideal” even mean? I suppose to me it did mean — the shoulders, the facial hair, and the smile. However, to someone else it could mean something completely different. It’s not all about that, folks. It never has been, and it is all an illusion. Even for women — being skinny, having a “fat” ass, a thigh gap, or pearly white teeth even. But is that really what makes people happy? Does your thigh gap help you sleep better at night? Probably not. As an individual living the transgender experience, I have gone through many ups and downs and many obstacles trying to accept my body and see it in a light that makes me comfortable and able to breathe. I’m sure Cisgender people (also abbreviated Cis; describes individuals who agree with the sex they were assigned at birth; Non-trans folks) experience similar issues. No matter who you are, where you come from, or how you were raised, we are all influenced by society in some way, shape, or form to dislike something about our bodies. We are all human, and we are all our own worst enemies. For me growing up, I always liked me as a person — on the inside. I was always very in tune with who I was, what I wanted, the people I hung around with, etc. Liking myself wasn’t the problem. It was my body that made me feel as though I was trapped in a cage. Like sitting on one of those dunk tanks at the county fair, waiting for someone to throw that ball to hit the bullseye. The seat drops right out from under you, and you’re submerged immediately. You have no control. Most of the time you swallow water, or it gets in your eyes and up your nose. No matter how much you prepare to be dunked, you’re never actually ready.

All you’re doing with that statement, folks, is invalidating someone’s identity and gender, so don’t do it. “Oh wow, you accept me despite the fact that I’m trans? How sweet of you. Thank you so much! Because I’m transgender, I don’t deserve what cisgender men do, right? I mean, you accept me, but I’ll never be equal to a biological man, right? But thank you so much, because who would I be without your acceptance.” Cisgender folks: Don’t just “accept” trans people. We are all deserving of acceptance. Each and every one of us. Treat trans people the way you would treat anyone else you meet. That means not asking about what’s in our pants the second you meet us, or telling your friends you met a trans person and using their name while telling people their life story. It is not your business to share. I’m so sure you’d be okay with someone sharing the skeletons you have in your closet. Show trans people respect — respect our bodies and our personal space and business. Some trans folks do not want to talk about their transition. Some trans folks are trying their hardest to live “stealth,” and you outing them could mean exile, violence and so much more. Gender is a social construct. I don’t know what it’s like to be female; I only know what it’s like to be seen as female. From the time we are all born, based on — Janet Mock our genitals alone, we are forced into little categories: Blue box for boys, and pink box for girls. Ever since I was three years old I could hear and feel both my body and mind transitioning, I did not want to be associated with being trans, I telling me in its own little kid way, “to hell with that shit.” I refuse to wanted to “pass,” and I wanted to be read as “just another guy.” conform. I will never conform. Don’t get it twisted: trans people do Once I started “blending in” I was ecstatic. I wasn’t being bullied not transition for society — trans people transition for themselves. or harassed anymore, I wasn’t being judged or given dirty looks Show a little respect. : : in public. I reveled in that feeling for a few years, until I began to — Jacey Hoffman is a 29-year-old transgender man who relorealize that I was in fact different than cisgender men. The mincated to the Charlotte, N.C. area from New Jersey who has been ute people found out I was trans it was right back to the invasive medically transitioning for six and a half years. question hour. “Oh my god, you look just like a guy, I could never Hoffman is a writer and advocate for the LGBTQ community. tell!” “Well, I look like a guy because I am a guy. Crazy, right?!” Email jaceyhoffman@yahoo.com for more information. Some Cis people think this is the compliment of all compliments. That’s how I felt every minute of every day. Waiting for that one comment from someone that would trigger my body dysphoria, or that one glance in the mirror at a certain angle that would accentuate my hips and cause immediate anxiety. Prior to transitioning, being seen as cis-normative was important to me. Once I began

❝ I believe that telling our stories, first to ourselves and then to one another and the world, is a revolutionary act. It is an act that can be met with hostility, exclusion, and violence. It can also lead to love, understanding, transcendence, and community. I hope that my being real with you will help empower you to step into who you are and encourage you to share yourself with those around you. ❞

he also said he would work to “destroy” the Johnson Amendment, which prevents religious institutions from helping or hurting a political party or candidate. A leaked draft of what is said to be a proposed “religious freedom” executive order, which is reported to be floating around federal offices in Washington, D.C., was published by The Nation. States Meanwhile, states are also introducing legislation to expand legalized discrimination against the LGBTQ community. The National Conference of State Legislatures reports, as of press time, in the 2017 legislative session 12 states have introduced so-called “bathroom bills,” limiting access to public facilities by transgender and gender non-conforming individuals. Ten are pending, with bills in South Dakota and Virginia having failed. Legislation is still pending in the following states: Alabama, Illinois, Kansas, Kentucky, Minnesota, Missouri, South Carolina, South Dakota, Texas, Virginia, Washington and Wyoming. “While the Northeast and mid-Atlantic should remain fairly quiet legislatively, and a few anti-LGBTQ bills may be seen in the Dakotas and Plains states, RFRA [Religious Freedom Restoration Act], FADA, local preemption and anti-transgender legislation is expected to be widely seen across the South, with significant

concerns being raised in Alabama, Arkansas, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas and West Virginia,” HRC reports. “In fact, in these and other states, more than two dozen bills are already on the docket for consideration, and there is no doubt there will be more as the sessions progress.” The Texas legislature meets only in oddnumbered years, and they will be in session in 2017, and it is already looking dismal for LGBTQ rights in the Lone Star State. “With bill filing well under way in the state, it is clear they expect to take up religious refusals, anti-transgender legislation and more in a big way during 2017,” HRC reports. “When last they met in 2015, Texas lawmakers introduced 23 anti-LGBTQ bills, and anti-LGBTQ politicians like Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick have been crisscrossing the state ever since promising more.” On a more positive note, there are some pro-LGBTQ pieces of legislation which could see the light of day in some states. “Leaders in New Hampshire and New York will continue to consider whether to add gender identity to their state non-discrimination statutes. Legislators in California, with a Democratic supermajority, are expected to remain on the cutting edge of passing laws protecting LGBTQ people,” according to HRC. “In Alaska, Arizona, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota and Ohio legislators will again be presented with the opportunity

A map showing the likelihood of anti-LGBTQ bills coming up for consideration in various states in 2017. Illustration Credit: Human Rights Campaign

to add sexual orientation and gender identity to the state nondiscrimination laws, while in Colorado, Hawaii, Massachusetts, New

Hampshire, New Mexico and Rhode Island consideration could be given to laws protecting minors from harmful conversion therapy.” : :

Feb. 10-23 . 2017

qnotes

news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

The event is free and open to the public. Cookies and coffee will be served. info: lnr114@gmail.com.

Band celebrates women

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The Charlotte Pride Band will present a concert in celebration of Women’s History Month, “I Am Woman,” on March 4, 5 p.m., at First United Methodist Church, 501 N. Tryon St. The concert celebrates the importance and impact of women throughout the world and within the community. Several pieces were written or arranged by lesbian or bisexual women. Tickets are $15 and are available online or at the door. info: charlotteprideband.org.

Holocaust exhibit features gays

BootyCandy hits the Queen City

German police file photo of a man arrested in October 1937 for suspicion of violating Paragraph 175. Photo Credit: US Holocaust Memorial Museum, courtesy of Landesarchiv, Berlin

ASHEVILLE, N.C. — The North Carolina debut of the traveling “Exhibit Nazi Persecution of Homosexuals 1933-1945” will be on display from Feb. 12-April 7, 7:45 am and throughout the day at the Ramsey Library on the campus of the University of North Carolina at Asheville, 1 University Heights. The exhibit is sponsored by the university’s Center for Diversity Education and explores the impact of the Nazi regime on gays (including lesbians) and their persecution. The event is free and open to the public. It will feature tours with docents for students and community members and will include speakers and films as part of the programming. It explores the rationale, means and impact of the Nazi regime’s persecution of gays, which left thousands dead and shattered the lives of many more. A reception and keynote address will be held on Feb. 16 with the reception at 5:30 p.m. in the library and the keynote in the Humanities Lecture Hall at 7 p.m. Speaker will be Dr. Erik Jensen, associate professor of history at Miami University. His address will be on “The Nazi Persecution of Homosexuals and its Postwar Legacy.” Asheville’s Gay Men’s Chorus will perform selections. On Feb. 23, there will be a screening of “Paragraph 175” in the Fine Arts Theatre at 7 p.m. Contributions to benefit the Center for Diversity Education will be accepted. To learn more about the Nazi regime and the LGBTQ community, visit GayAshevilleNC’s magazine special section at gayashevillenc.com/magazine7.html. info: gayashevillenc.com.

Charlotte Youth org hosts art exhibit

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Time Out Youth Center will hold an art exhibition, “A Mile in My Shoes Project,” on Feb. 10, 7 p.m., at C3Lab, 2525 Distribution St. The free event will feature spoken word performances and live music. It is hosted by Guerilla Poets Ltd. info: timeoutyouth.org.

Snug holds Valentine party

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The 25th Annual Johnson Valentine Bash will be held on Feb. 11, 10 p.m., at Snug Harbor, 1228 Gordon St. The gay-friendly event features the Hardcore Lounge rock band, along with Alternative Champs and Leisure McCorkle as gig openers. Between sets, DJ Godwin, Starseed and Spaceboy will spin. Admission is $6. Advance tickets are available online. All proceeds go to benefit RAIN. Since 2002, $6,000 has been raised for RAIN. info: snugrock.com.

Film fest features gay film

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The Charlotte Jewish Film Festival will feature an LGBTQ feature the award-winning “Who’s Gonna Love Me Now?” on Feb. 15, 7:15 p.m., at Temple Israel, 4901 Providence Rd.

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Feb. 10-23 . 2017

The Israeli documentary tells the story of Saar, a man from Israel who is rejected by his religious family, who finds camaraderie, support and love in his adoptive city of London. When he becomes acquainted with London’s Gay Men’s Chorus, he begins to repair and bridge the relationships with his family and the country he left behind. On Feb. 19, 4 p.m., the film will be screened at Sundays at Lake Norman located at Our Town Cinema, 227 Griffith St., in Davidson, N.C. The Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte is scheduled to perform on both dates. Tickets for both performances are $10 and are available online. info: charlottejewishfilm.com.

Trans education series begins

CHARLOTTE, N.C.— A series of transgender educational sessions will be held at 2 p.m. at Caldwell Presbyterian Church, Belk Hall, 1609 E. 5th St. beginning on Feb. 19 with Trans Education 101. Others in the series include: March 19, How to Center Trans People of Color; April 23, Sharing Our Stories; May 21, How to Create Affirming Faith Based Organizations; and June 18, Ways to Support the Trans Community.” Charlotte transgender community members will be leading each session with some lecture, some group discussion and some time for Q & A. These events are designed to be a safe space for dialogue and interactive learning.

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The Actor’s Theatre of Charlotte will present the limited engagement “BootyCandy” by Robert O’Hara from March 2-19 at the Mint Museum Randolph, 2730 Randolph Rd. The semi-biographical, subversive comedy tells the story of Sutter, who is on an odyssey through his childhood home, his church, dive bars, motel rooms and even nursing homes. O’Hara weaves together scenes, sermons, sketches and daring meta-theatrics to create a kaleidoscope that interconnects to portray growing up gay and black and satirically crashes headlong into the terrain of pain and pleasure and BootyCandy, the theatre said. Performances dates and times are: Feb. 28, pay-what-you-can sneak peek, 7:30 p.m.; March 2, 8, 14 and 16, 7:30 p.m.; March 3-4, 10-11 and 17-18, 8 p.m.; and March 5, 12 and 19, 2:30 p.m. Tickets range from $25-$44 and are available online. info: atcharlotte.org.

Wedding expo slated

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The 2nd Annual Gay & Lesbian Wedding Expo will be held on March 13, 12:30 p.m., at the Sheraton Charlotte Hotel, 555 S. McDowell St. Over 30 LGBTQ-friendly wedding and travel professionals will be on hand, as well as raffles, music and more. Visit samelovesamerights.com for free tickets. Across the state in Raleigh, N.C., the 4th Annual Gay & Lesbian Wedding Expo will be held on Feb. 26, 12:30 p.m. at Raleigh Marriott City Center, 500 Fayetteville St. Free tickets are also available for this event. info: rainbowweddingnetwork.

Org move complete

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Campus Pride has now finished its move into new headquarters located at 1433 Emerywood Dr., Suite F and is settling in. Upon the move, Executive Director Shane Windmeyer shared, “Campus Pride has been operating in Charlotte since we were founded in 2001. We have kept our costs low and organized from dining room tables and personal offices and most recently in a shared office space for over two years.” He added, “Growth has continued for our work locally in Charlotte, in North Carolina and across the country. The new Campus Pride home office is a dedicated full facility which has six distinct office spaces, conference area James Felt stars as Stacee Jaxx in Theatre Alliance’s ‘Rock of Ages.’ Photo Credit: Dancing Lemur Photography/Jenny L. Viars

along with a front door and reception area. The new space is larger than we have ever had. It will allow us to host small gatherings, volunteer nights and continue to grow our internship program with added office spaces. Later this Spring we will host an official ‘open house’ for all our community supporters.” Windmeyer also said that the new offices will provide a safe, welcoming space for LGBTQ “young people.” info: campuspride.org.

Triad Faith affirmation slated

GREENSBORO, N.C. — Faith Forward, Affirmation in Action will be held on Feb. 25, 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m. at Presbyterian Church of the Covenant, 501 S. Mendenhall St. The gathering is for LGBTQ people of faith and allies to explore opportunities for building skills and resources that are grounded in racial and gender justice. It also aims to empower affirming religious communities to combat discrimination across the state, as well as to show more equality and inclusivity examples. Contributions up to $100 are welcome to defray costs for the event. Full scholarships are available and no one will be turned away. Registration is available online. info: tinyurl.com/ncfaithforward2017.

Young dems hold convention

GREENSBORO, N.C. — The Young & College Democrats of North Carolina will hold their annual convention from March 24-26. It is billed as a “chance for you to meet and join North Carolina and America’s next leaders.” Attendees will work to grow leadership in the state, and discuss ways to advance the Democratic agenda in both Raleigh and Washington, D.C. Also on tap are strategies for supporting Gov. Roy Cooper. Registration is $20 and is available online. info: ydnc.org.

Theatre mounts rock musical

WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. — “Rock of Ages,” the jukebox musical featuring hits from the 1980s, begins staging on Feb. 10 at Theatre Alliance, 1047 Northwest Blvd. It continues through Feb. 19. With the book by Chris D’Arienzo and music and lyrics by various artists, “Rock of Ages” takes the audience back to the times of big bands, big egos, big guitar solos and big hair.

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This Tony Award-nominated Broadway musical features the hits of bands including REO Speedwagon, Pat Benatar, Night Ranger, and many others. It is directed by Jamie Lawson and David Lane as musical director. At the centerpiece is Stacee Jaxx who uses his sex appeal to wow his audience, among other memorable characters. The musical stars James Felt (Stacee Jaxx), Jake Messina (Drew) and Mary Margaret Coble (Sherrie), and is supported by an ensemble of Theatre Alliance regulars and new friends. Performance dates and times are: Feb. 1011, 16-18, 8 p.m. and Feb. 12 and 19, 2 p.m. Tickets are $18/adult and $16/students and seniors and are available online. Students with a valid student ID are able to purchase rush tickets at $14 when with five minutes to show time when available seating is released. The show is rated “R” and has harsh language and sexual suggestions and dialogue. info: wstheatrealliance.org.

Triangle CMF goes ‘Grammy’

RALEIGH, N.C. — The Crape Myrtle Festival is hosting its Grammy Awards Drag Show & Viewing Party on Feb. 12, 8 p.m., at View Bar & Gameroom at Legends, 119 S. Harrington St. On hand for the evening will be Miss Gay North Carolina America Chloe Cassidy, along with Jayden Starr and Kristiana Elite who will perform at 6:30 p.m. Beverages are available from the cash-only bar all evening. Admission is $10. info: crapemyrtlefest.org.

Trainings slated across state

RALEIGH, N.C. — The NC AIDS Action Network has announced that it will hold HIV advocacy training sessions across the state in advance of its annual HIV/AIDS Advocacy Day on April 19. Attendees will learn about the current legislative session and the organization’s legislative priorities for the year, including defending the AIDS Drug Assistance Program and expanding Hepatitis C testing and prevention programs in North Carolina. Training will enable advocates to have the tools and skills needed to speak confidentially with legislators about issues most important to the HIV/AIDS community and make their voices heard. Sessions will be held in Asheville, N.C. on Feb. 23, 3-5 p.m., United Way, 50 S. French Broad Ave. (bit. ly/2leka9i), Charlotte, N.C. on March 22, 5:30-8 p.m., RAIN, 601 E. 5th St. (bit. ly/2kc9JlQ) and Winston-Salem, N.C. on March 23, 5:30-8 p.m., North Star LGBT Community Center, 930 Burke St. (bit.ly/2jRR0Qk). The events are free, however a $10 contribution is appreciated. Dinner will be provided in Charlotte and Winston-Salem, sponsored by Gilead, and snacks will be provided in Asheville. Other trainings are being planned for Fayetteville, N.C. and the Triangle area. More information will be provided as the dates are released. info: mcaan.org.

Youth to hold fest

DURHAM, N.C. — iNSIDEoUT will hold its annual Fabufest from Feb. 24-25, beginning at 9 a.m. each day and continues to 4 p.m.

The youth-run, overnight retreat is designed for LGBTQ youth and allies. Activities include movies, workshops on intersectionality, keeping up energy in today’s political climate, a tree of oppression and self care, as well as the opportunity to meet and make friends with other young people. It is open to to those who are 13-19. Younger youth are invited to join in on Saturday afternoon for lunch and an activity from 12-4 p.m. The event is free, but requires registration and parental permission. Plans are being made to create a crowdfunding campaign to help support the event and the activism that emerges from it. Deadline for registration is Feb. 19. Location details will be emailed to registered participants. In other news, the organization began its hangouts program in January. It meets every other Sunday from 4-6 p.m. And, it has scheduled its Queer Prom on May 20 and its Youth Awards Banquet and Gaiety on May 27. More details will be provided in a future qnotes issue. info: insideout180.org/fabufest-2017.

news

the information table and give a quick pitch about Our Voice before the show starts. Email erastusw@ourvoicenc.org to learn more. The show features local talent including, Deb au Nare, April le Queen, Roxie Rose Lemoan, Dee Bauchery, Sneaky McFly, Morgana Magdalene and Claire D’Lune. A raffle and silent auction will also be available. Silent auction items range from gift basket, meals and wine to photography sessions, fine arts film tickets and more. Community is Brewing Radio will broadcast the show live. Tickets are $10. Proceeds from the show benefit Our Voice. info: ourvoicenc.org.

Team dresses in supportive attire

CHAPEL HILL, N.C. — On Jan. 20, the University of North Carolina’s womens gymnastics team recently made a statement by wearing T-shirts promoting LGBTQ equality in sports, Outsports/SB Nation reported. The team chose to wear Nikemanufactured campaign black shirts that said #BETRUE fielded on a rainbow band. In fact, the university’s gymnastics attendance-setting record of over 4,000 attendees was more than anyone had anticipated. Tar Heels tossed shirts into the crowd. And, some attendees wore rainbow North Carolina buttons, the publication added. It was remarkable that all of this happened in a state that has anti-discriminatory HB2 on its books. Nike’s #BETRUE apparel line celebrates and is used to raise funds for LGBTQ sports participants. info: outsports.com.

Lawyer becomes latest gay lawmaker

RALEIGH, N.C. — Deb Butler from Wilmington, N.C., has become the second LGBTQ lawmaker in the North Carolina General Assembly, WFAE has reported. The Democrat was selected by a a panel of activists from Hanover and Brunswick Counties. She was in a pool of 10 candidates that were vying for the seat vacated by Rep. Susi Hamilton when she was chosen by Gov. Roy Cooper to serve on his cabinet as secretary of the Department of Natural and Cultural Resources. Butler is the second openly gay member of the legislature and was backed by Equality North Carolina. info: wfae.org.

Western Burlesque show seeks volunteers

ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Valentease Burlesque & Variety Show is seeking volunteers for its show on Feb. 11, 8 p.m., at The Block off biltmore, 39 S. Market St. Those who sign up will be asked to staff

Feb. 10-23 . 2017

qnotes

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news notes: u.s./world compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

National Pride March set for June WASHINGTON, D.C. — David Bruinooge, a resident of Brooklyn, N.Y., made an announcement on Facebook that plans are being made to bring the LGBTQ voice to the nation’s capitol on June 11 with the National Pride March, “an all-inclusive and peaceful event.” This mass protest is being held to coincide with Pride Month festivities and that of Capital Pride, the District of Columbia’s annual event which is slated for June 8-11. “Organizers hope to draw big numbers to send a clear message to Washington’s powered elite that LGBTQ rights are not to be threatened,” Queerty reported. Bruinooge told the Washington Blade, “I was watching the events [of the Women’s March] unfold on TV and I was very proud and inspired by all the women, the strong women in our country who were kind of taking this to the street and getting their voices heard.” info: bit.ly/2l7MZYe.

Org slates candidate trainings

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Victory Institute has announced that it will provide its #Ready2Run training sessions across the U.S. to help those interested in running for office to

learn how best to campaign for public office. “For two decades, Victory Institute has provided these four-day intensive Candidate and Campaign Trainings, put together by our expert campaign team, to help you run and win! Whether you are interested in running for your

Researcher seeks near-death experience individuals

PINOLE, Calif. — Liz Dale, a clinical psychologist and author, is seeking those in the LGBTQ community who have had a near-death experience (NDE) to participate in an online survey exploring the experience and its consequences. Data complied will be used for a study and a subsequent book. Dale is a leading resource for those in the academic community and those with personal interests in the NDE phenomenon. The survey respondents names will remain anonymous. Those who participate use their

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first name only and will not share any confidential personal information. This is not the first foray into the subject for Dale. She has previously published “Crossing Over and Coming Home: Twenty-One Authors Discuss the Gay NDE as Spiritual Transformation.” The International Association for Near Death Studies is sponsoring a complementary NDE study. Interested parties can learn more at iands.org. To participate in the survey visit lizdale.com/ survey.html. info: lizdale.com.

QUICK HITS —————————————————————————————— The Washington Blade is digitizing its nearly 50-year archives in partnership with the D.C. Public Library. info: washingtonblade.com.

local school board, city council or even your state legislature, this will provide you with the necessary tools and skills,” said Ruben Gonzales, vice president of leadership programs. Three regions have been put on the calendar. They are: South Florida, March 23-26; Seattle, Wash., Summer 2017; and Denver, Colo., Fall 2017. To sign up or to receive more information about the training, visit bit.ly/2l9KscV. info: victoryinstitute.org.

Three transgender models were featured in the Greater Fort Lauderdale Convention & Visitor’s Bureau campaign that was launched in mid January 2017. It is considered to be the first use of transgender models in destination advertising efforts. info: sunny.org. On Jan. 31, Logo debuted the first episode in season two of its LGBTQ docuseries “Fill in the Blank,” produced by social media star Mike Kelton. It shared stories about out athletes. info: logotv.com.

The “Boystown” series has introduced its first transgender character. info: boystowntheseries.com. The Conference on Retroviruses and Opportunistic Infections is being held from Feb. 13-16 in Seattle, Wash. info: croiconference.org. The Boy Scouts of America has amended its rules and is now accepting transgender boys in to its programs. info: scouting.org. Jay Irwin won a write-in bid to become a member of the Ralston Board of Education in Nebraska. Irwin is the first transgender official. info: victoryfund.org.

Black History Month

LGBTQ black civil rights icons Remembering those who fought and fight by Maria Dominguez :: qnotes staff

his Black History Month reminds us that there has been no end to the fight for equality. The United States has undoubtedly taken strides forward since the Civil Rights Movement, but there is further work to be done. Beyond largerthan-life figures like Martin Luther King, Jr. and Malcolm X, it is important to remember the others who fought from a place of intersection. LGBTQ civil rights leaders must also be immortalized alongside those icons, because their voices are too often silenced by their difference. These figures fought for their race’s rights even when their communities shunned them for their sexuality. Their footsteps have been followed by black activists and LGBTQ advocates alike. So, in this month of history and revival, qnotes pays tribute to the black LGBTQ icons who laid the path for generation to come. James Baldwin

Baldwin’s 1956 novel “Giovanni’s Room” was groundbreaking in its depiction of homosexual relationships. An American expatriate who lived in Paris, he left the prejudices and violence of his native land behind, but they continued to influence his work. Baldwin was not afraid to break barriers and write both beautifully and honestly, producing essays and novels throughout his life. During a trip to the American south in 1957, Baldwin interviewed people in Charlotte and wrote about desegregation and its social tensions.

Angela Davis A controversial figure for her alignment with the Communist Party, Davis was twice a vice presidential candidate on the party’s ticket. She was involved with the Civil Rights Movement in her youth and has been linked to the Black Panther Party, even imprisoned in the 1970s. Davis’ scholarly examinations of the prison-industrial complex and her career as a philosophy professor at the University of California Los Angeles show her to be an intellectual, as well as an advocate. Marsha P. Johnson A passionate advocate for transgender rights, Johnson was often frustrated with the exclusion of transgender people from those in the LGB community. One of many involved in the Stonewall Riots of 1969, Johnson dedicated her life to the fight for equality. She co-founded the Street Transgender Action Revolutionaries (STAR) along with Sylvia Rivera and helped open the STAR House that advocated for transgender women and drag queens. A Greenwich Village artist for three decades, Johnson became an advocate for HIV+ people later in her life, working with ACT UP. In July 1992, Johnson’s body was found in the Hudson River. Though initially ruled a suicide, the case was reopened in 2012 as a homicide.

Bayard Rustin Though most often remembered as Rev. King’s advisor and secretary, Rustin was one of the earliest advocates for gay rights. Arrested in the 1950s for “homosexual activity,” Rustin went on to make the Civil Rights Movement his life’s mission. He was deputy director and chief organizer for the 1963 March on Washington and helped to organize Freedom Rides and the Southern Christian Leadership Conference. While Rustin wasn’t openly gay, for fear that it would delegitimize his work, he spoke out for equality and was labeled nonetheless. Alice Walker Having become the first black woman to win a Pulitzer Prize for her novel “The Color Purple,” Walker considers activism to be her “rent for living on the planet.” She participated in the 1963 March on Washington and has continued to advocate for black and LGBTQ people throughout a life of action and creation. Openly bisexual, Walker demonstrates pride and exercises intellect in her work, addressing race, equal rights and transgender issues. She is also responsible for reawakening the literary community to the work of Zora Neale Hurston, a Harlem Renaissance writer who died forgotten and impoverished. : :

Photo Credits: James Baldwin, Allan Warren, CC 3.0 via Wikimedia; Angela Davis, German Federal Archives, CC 3.0 via Wikimedia; Marsha P. Johnson, New York Public Library, by permission; Bayard Rustin, Public Domain; Alice Walker, State Library Archives of Florida, CC llcense via Flickr

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Feb. 10-23 . 2017

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Love & Lust 2017

Kinky and queer: BDSM in the LGBTQ community Realities, risks and rewards of kink by Maria Dominguez :: qnotes staff

n the age of sexual liberation, LGBTQ people still fight for acceptance. But even within the community, there is a repressed subculture: queer kinksters. Practitioners of bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism (BDSM) are criticized from all sides. Some queer kinksters seek to remove the stigma and affirm that their sexuality, though alternative, is no more bizarre than “vanilla” or non-kinky sex. BDSM includes so many kinks that it would take a full-length book to explain them all. But at the core of the debate is the question: is kink “normal” and “natural” in the same sense as other “alternative” sexualities? Slate’s Jillian Keenan believes that kink is a sexual orientation as valid as any LGBTQ identity. Keenan argues that beyond the pop-culture stereotypes lies a community of people who are true to themselves and get very real rewards from their practice of BDSM. “Kink mixes language, ritual, trust, power, pleasure, pain and identity in a way that can’t be captured by a stereotype,” Keenan wrote. She went on to describe the many parallels of LGBTQ people and BDSM practitioners, and doesn’t fail to mention that many LGBTQ people are kinky. “Kink can be such an orienting force that, for many of us, it even overpowers gender,” Keenan wrote. This was certainly the case for Laura Garcia, who identifies as pansexual and has had partners at every degree of the spectrum of gender identities. Garcia says that being LGBTQ and kinky can be a challenge. “The BDSM community in Charlotte is very still attracted to that [gender] binary,” Garcia said. “So it can be harder if you’re a woman interested in women to find someone to genuinely dominate you longterm. But in a way it’s ultimately more rewarding…Those are some of the longest-lasting relationships.” Despite what Garcia calls the “old-guard” values of the local kink scene, many LGBTQ people have found their places in BDSM practice. The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom’s survey found that 35 percent of kinksters identify as bisexual compared to the 1.8 to 2.8 percent rate in the overall population. The stigma around kink in the LGBTQ community is as common as homophobic statements by straight people. In a post for Out & About Nashville, River Johnson points out that the fight for LGBTQ equality often rests on the need to be accepted as normal. As a result, “any activities that would make us seem more ‘deviant’ is one more thing we’d rather keep in the closet.” Zannah Breunig agrees, but points out that the presence of LGBTQ people in the kinky world is undeniable. “Maybe more queer people end up being involved because they’re already assumed to have a non-normative sexuality,” Breunig postulated. “There’s going to be pockets where there’s resistance because in a lot of ways there’s this…gay and lesbian desire to establish themselves as normative. In that regard, there could be a lot of distancing from ‘the perverts,’ the more queer expressions of sexuality.” However much kink is tied to sex, there are those who don’t see BDSM as a sexual activity. The common misconception about kink is that it’s an “extreme” form of sexual pleasure, when those involved say that this is only sometimes the case. “I practice typically non-sexual domination,” Garcia said. “I like flexing my mental control over a person. I’m the kind of person where if said submissive sees me slowly round and raise an eyebrow, it’s instant quiet, instant arms to sides, ‘yes, Ma’am.’ For me, no, it’s typically not sexual.” Breunig points out that not all kinksters even want to have sex in the traditional sense. For these practitioners, BDSM is a vehicle for intimacy and building relationships that don’t center around what they call “the P and V.”

Those engaged in BDSM have to build a strong sense of trust with their sexual partners, in addition to creating a safety net during encounters. Photo Credit: Wisky via Adobe Stock

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Feb. 10-23 . 2017

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life

Understanding the parameters surrounding BDSM aids those who participate in it to have a more pleasurable sexual experience. Photo Credit: focus via Adobe Stock

“It also allows you to explore erotic potential that isn’t necessarily genitally focused,” Breunig explained. “That can be a thing with people who are HIV positive, or people who don’t want to have penetrative sex. I think it can be positive to explore the potentials that our bodies have.” This self-exploration can be the ultimate reward of kink. Practitioners emphasize that BDSM is about more than the surface-level qualities. “We need to stop assuming that everything in the BDSM community is geared towards pain, sex or control,” wrote Johnson. “It absolutely can be oriented toward those things, but it is also an outlet for self-expression, a community, a form of spiritualism, a hobby and enables a variety of relationships.” Breunig said that relationships formed through kink are the greatest rewards of BDSM practice. They describe the way BDSM helped them communicate better about their needs. “I wouldn’t have the relationship I have if it weren’t for that,” Breunig said. “The whole consent thing [has] been ingrained into me. I want to talk about stuff. I want to know what their limits are, even if it’s a vanilla encounter. It’s made me want to hash everything out and make sure I understand.” Despite the healthy communication that many kinksters enjoy, there’s no doubt that BDSM can be dangerous without the right resources, protocols — and partners. “Watch for the people who try to force you to do things and never let you take the time to watch and observe,” Garcia warns. “This requires a different aspect of self, a different level of dedication, of trust, so just take your time.”

Taking a step back to do your research and practice kink in a healthy way is not only important, it’s vital. Nevertheless, Garcia says, the local scene isn’t without its flaws. “I got told to my face by a pretty wellknown Dom that women could not be dominant, not truly,” she said. “I’m definitely a dominant individual…People like to mess around with me because I’m a young girl, and not give me proper decent respect.” Breunig, too, acknowledges that some in the kink scene hold too tightly to traditional gender roles. But this flaw isn’t exclusive to BDSM, they point out — it’s a reflection of the world at large. “Any subculture or community is going to be in some regards a microcosm of the larger society,” Breunig said. “There’s places where you can play with those gender roles, like maybe somebody who’s a regular businessman and comes in to wear fishnets and heels and kind of explore things that would disrupt the patriarchy, but then there’s also situations where you get these really butch Dom men who just want to be men.” Whatever the flaws on the scene, it seems clear that many LGBTQ people find BDSM one more avenue to explore their identities. Whether it’s private play or a public event, kink is here to stay. Garcia says that repressing kinky tendencies leads nowhere, especially for those in the LGBTQ community who may already struggle with embracing themselves. “Bottling that up and making it feel like you’re two different people is the worst,” she said. “You already have aspects of alternative sexuality. Don’t be afraid to try it out sometime. Recognize that when you say, ‘oh that’s kind of weird,’ you have to have a moment when you look back and say ‘some people think I’m kind of weird, so maybe I shouldn’t be a dick.’” : :

Feb. 10-23 . 2017

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life

Out on Film

Carolina movie premiere and red carpet event hits Cary Film centers around African-American family, HIV/AIDS and the LGBTQ community by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

and expertise on the matter. So, throughout the develilmmaker Anthony Williams was all smiles at opment and production process, I was able to utilize his North Carolina red carpet premiere of his the knowledge I’d gained, as well as the first-hand independent film project “Thicker Than Blood” on experiences of those who were involved in CAPUS Feb. 1 at The Cary Theatre, 122 E. Chatham St. In fact, [HCHEG],” he shared. the first screening was sold out in the two-screenings He also added, “I felt making a movie was a event. unique platform for sharing this kind of information Produced in North Carolina by Second Glance because even though we as humans don’t see eyeProductions and the North Carolina Health Equity Group to-eye on everything, we at least share the common (NCHEG), the film tells the story of Jordan, a gay man desire to escape reality and experience a different raised in a homophobic household, who returns home world. Growing up, all that’s thrown at us in school for the first time in three years to celebrate his older are statistics, so after a while, we tend to tune that brother’s promotion to partnership in a prestigious law out. That’s no different with facts about public health. firm. Unfortunately, during the festivities “secrets are When it comes to important issues such as HIV, it’s revealed, masks are uncovered and some things are important to find different, effective ways of effectively said that just can’t be taken back,” Williams shared. The reaching people. So, combining the entertainment family is tasked with trying to figure out how to pick up aspect of film and public information aspect, I felt it the pieces and put them back together before losing was the perfect way to go.” each other forever. Williams stated that HIV is not discussed enough Williams shared that the premiere “went above and ‘Thicker Than Blood’ cast and producers spoke to the audience on opening night after the film due to society’s fears of the unknown or uncertainty. beyond our expectations. The audience laughed in all screening. They are (right to left): Nicole Beckwith (Consulting Producer), Anthony Williams, “Those who aren’t a part of the HIV or LGBTQ comthe right places, felt all the emotions and could relate Christian Glemaud, Berle Stocks, Florencio Martinez, Carol McKenith, Destiny Diamond munities are only exposed to the negative or fear side, or sympathize with what was happening on the screen. McNeill, Thom McKinney, Christina Smith, Tony Bravado, Douglas K. Griffin (Consulting as opposed to taking the time to fully educate themAs a filmmaker, sitting back and watching the audience selves on the issues at hand.” He hopes the film will be and feeling their energy and love was more than I could Producer), Kevin Boles, Jr. Photo Credit: Shelly Booker Photography, LLC a conduit through which individuals can see the world ever ask for.” in the LGBT community or living with HIV/AIDS should not have different from, or perhaps similar to, their own in an accurate and Audience members felt the film was compelling, relatable to worry about piling on the worries of dealing with discrimifactual portrayal. and made them laugh, cry and connect with the characters, from nation and stigma. Because someone who is gay, black, and “As a storyteller, one who aims to tell stories that can poscomments made to Williams afterward. HIV-positive, it’s almost like ‘three strikes, you’re out’ in the black sibly help change the world, I’ve always felt it was important to “Thicker Than Blood” stars Atlanta, Ga. natives Kevin Boles, community,” Williams said. never sugar-coat the truth. I never beat around the bush. And Jr. as Jordan and Tony Bravado as brother Richard, Charlottean He added, “Witnessing friends dealing with the challenges of I always try to be bold and passionate about the stories I tell. I Thom McKinney as Richard, Sr. (the father), Christina Smith who disclosures [to family and prospective loved ones], the common aim to tell stories that others may be afraid to tell, in a way that hails from Spartanburg, S.C. as Marilyn (the mother), Raleigh, misconceptions about HIV, and witnessing how religion plays keeps the audience entertained, but more importantly, in a way N.C. natives Destiny Diamond McNeill as Selena (Richard’s girla huge factor in how the black community treats each other as that keeps them thinking. Because whether they end up loving or friend) and Florencio Martinez as Cameron (Jordan’s boyfriend). humans, I felt I could provide a different view into these issues so hating what’s on the screen when it’s all said and done, at least it “Highlighting the stigma and challenges of living with HIV, as that those who aren’t facing them can better understand those who gets them talking,” he concluded. well as the often hidden intolerance of LGBTQ members in the are. These are my people, my community, and I’m obligated to help For those who want a sneak peak of “Thicker Than Blood,” visit Black/African-American community, ‘Thicker Than Blood’ raises better it the only way I know how — through one avenue where we youtu.be/5SebjzCq-OE. thought in the mind and strikes an emotional chord in the heart,” seem to connect the most — entertainment and media.” Additional screenings were held across the state on Feb. he added. Williams spent time volunteering with NCHEG (formerly 6-8 and another one is planned for Feb. 19 as a way to celebrate At the end of the film, a discussion on stigma and discriminaknown as Care and Prevention in the United States) demonstraNational Black HIV Awareness Day. They were free and open to tion and how they affect communities took place. tion project. It was a three-year, cross-agency collaborative effort the public. A few cast members were be in attendance at certain Of the many objectives of the piece are to spread awareness with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention which sought screenings to participate in a Q&A session and answer any and to eliminate stigma associated with HIV/AIDS. to reduce HIV and AIDS-related morbidity and mortality among questions from the audience. Free HIV testing was also available “Although I am HIV-negative, I am an African-American man racial and ethnic minorities living in the U.S. When the endeavor on site at selected screening locations. and part of the LGBT community. I personally understand some of came to an end, he wanted to create a project that highlighted the For more information, visit facebook.com/thickerthanblood the challenges we have to face in the black community, and we challenges of living with HIV/AIDS as a person of color. “Luckily, I movie and facebook.com/events/1693537140936505. have a category of our own challenges to deal with. Those living was in a place of experts who were able to offer their knowledge

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Feb. 10-23 . 2017

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Feb. 10-23 . 2017

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spiritual reflections by Rev. Dr. Chris Ayers :: guest contributor

Drag queens and the bobbittizing of God God needs to be bobbittized. No doubt about it. In 1993 Lorena Bobbitt cut her husband’s penis off with a knife while he was asleep in bed. At the trial, Lorena testified John Bobbitt raped her and physically battered her on multiple occasions prior to the evening of the severing of his tallywacker, that they lacked financial stability and that he stole and spent her earnings. Lorena was found not guilty due to insanity causing an irresistible impulse to sexually wound her husband. The couple soon would get divorced. John’s penis was able to be reattached and he later would appear in two adult films. To be bobbittized is to have your gigglestick, your ding dong, your schlong, your wiener, cut off (and not reattached). To say God needs to be bobbittized is to communicate God should not be conceived solely as a male with male genitals. Although the church’s book, the Bible, does refer to God as a male, it also has instances of God referred to as a female, including Jesus describing God as a woman sweeping a house to find a lost coin. But I’m less interested in what we can learn from Bible verses that support the bobbittizing of God and more interested in what drag queens teach us about the necessity of bobbittizing God. Before his retirement, Philip Culbertson, an Episcopal priest, was a drag queen, who taught Practical Theology at the University of Auckland School of Theology. Culbertson argues God needs to be bobbittized, not so much to make room for languaging God as mother, but because God is beyond gender. Society, particularly patriarchial society, tries to impose a dualistic concept of gender, but God’s incredibly diverse creation refuses such reduction. Culbertson further emphasizes that genitals are not gender, while describing what it was like to be Ophelia, the drag queen. In 2001 and 2002, I spent a small, but significant, part of my time performing at night in drag, mostly in Auckland gay clubs. . . .Here, I want to concentrate on what I learned through such a unique — and frankly, self-surprising — experience that has offered me some new ways to think about God and gender. The very first time I appeared in makeup and a wig, in my late 50s, I discovered a theretofore-unknown “self” that was quite alive and feisty in me. Ophelia, as she became known, just emerged, suddenly, “growed like Topsy full-blown.” She was like Joan Rivers, at least before Joan had too many facelifts. She was the epitome of what is called in New Zealand “cheeky” — possessing a kind of playful rudeness, taking the piss out of both herself and others. She liked the way her legs looked in nylons; she loved to admire her fire-engine-red artificial fingernails. She dashed out to get both ears pierced so she could drip in diamonds. She began to design clothes to perform in and hired a dressmaker. As Carole-Anne Tyler remarked in her powerful study of drag culture, “If boys will be girls, they had better be ladies.” Or perhaps I should cite, transgressively, de Beauvoir, “One is not born a woman, but becomes one.” Even after all the years I’d spent on a shrink’s

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Feb. 10-23 . 2017

couch, I never knew she was there. For two years, by day, I was a respected left-wing theology professor, and by night Ophelia was such a popular performance artist in the Auckland bar scene that in the 2001 “Golden Stilettos” awards, she was named first runner-up in the “Best Up-and-Coming New Drag Queen” category. Ophelia was not me, or at least, not any “me” that I had known in the previous five decades. Yet, she was there, hiding in some space of exclusion inside of me, and once invited, she easily popped out to play. I had spent years getting comfortable with a variety of masculinities that I knew how to perform, to echo Robert Connell, but until the arrival of Ophelia, was unaware that I knew how to perform at least one kind of femininity — however hilariously rude. Only afterwards did I grasp, on a deep level, Butler’s claim that genitals (sex) do not determine gender. (Philip Culbertson, “Bobbittizing God, On the Importance of the Divine Genitals Remaining Unmangeable,” “The Bible and Critical Theory, Volume 5, Number 1, 2009, Monash University EPress, 3-4. This is why I love drag queens so much. Yes, they provide laughter and entertainment for people who have experienced heartbreaking, life-crippling rejection by family, friends, co-workers and a large segment of the population. Just as important, though, they exhibit and demonstrate the fluidity of gender and do not allow any honest, willing-to-learn person to accept binary, dualistic portrayals of creation. I’ll be honest. When I arrived at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill in 1976, I was a homophobic heterosexual. By 1977, my concrete mind had been cracked due to the courage of two gay men who were out of the closet. I was so impressed with their Christian faith I had to conclude one’s sexual orientation was not a sin, but a great gift from God. Around 2000, as pastor of Wedgewood Church, I received an email from a transgender person wanting to know if she would be welcome at the church. My initial thought was, “Oh shit, what have I gotten the church into? What have I gotten myself into?” I soon had transgender friends who were best friends, and I learned transgender people are not perverts but are some of the most courageous, incredible people who walk the earth. Later I read Marcella Althaus-Reid’s books, “Indecent Theology” and “Queer God,” in which she describes God as a drag queen. So I thought — “I’ve become friends with, and learned about, gay men, lesbians, intersex, bi-sexual, transgender, bi-gender and asexual incredible people; I need to become close friends with some drag queens for the sake of friendship, so I can learn from them and have fun with them, but also so I can learn about God. If God is a drag queen, then getting to know drag queens must be a priority.”

see Spiritual on 16

Feb. 10-23 . 2017

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tell trinity by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

Get married first! Live together first! Help! Hey Trinity, My boyfriend wants to live together first before getting married. I was raised differently. Should people live together before marriage? Marriage Tryouts, New Haven, CT Hey Marriage Tryouts, Unless your parents are generously wealthy and religious or bribing you to marry first, why not start by living together? Gay and straight couples often live together first before getting married, with lots of success. It gives great insight into what you’ll be fearing — I mean facing. Honey, in the days before Woodstock and free love, couples were expected to marry first. Now the opposite is not only acceptable; it’s respectable. Before I say “I do” I always try living together just to make sure I’m not getting an oversexed musclehead or an un-oversexed musclehead! Dearest Trinity, After five years together, he moved out. I’m trying to move on with my life, but everything I own has memories of our relationship. We even share friends. Any ideas on moving on? Forward March, Columbus, OH Dearest Forward March, Moving on after a relationship of any amount of

time and emotional value takes weeks, months, sometimes even a year or more (if you’re crazy). Moving on takes endurance, self-esteem, and most importantly, sweetie, it takes removing all memorable items from your life together. It also takes finding new friends or connecting with old (pre-war relationship) ones. Being single, then a couple, then back to single again is like being Miss Scarlett, then Mrs. Scarlett O’Hara-Butler, then just Miss O’Hara alone, with a whole plantation to care for. (It’s time to tell “Rhett” that you’re done! See my cartoon for how to do it in silver screen style.) Dear Trinity, I just started dating someone who’s into leather and uniforms. I’m not “vanilla,” but I’m really not into all that stuff. Do you think this could work out, or am I wasting my time dealing with someone else’s fetishes? Yours, Fetish Foes, Chicago, IL Dear FF, Doesn’t it seem like everyone’s either into something, getting out of something or getting handcuffed to something? Now, just before you say “no” to cottons, leathers or polyesters, I must tie you down to a few questions. First, could you try being open to his or her desires if it was just once in a while, knowing that

a&e

everyone has some “thing” wild about themselves, and most people only practice their wild side once in a while? Second, could he or she be allowed to have a “fetish” while you’d be allowed to not have one? Besides, opposites do slap — I mean attract! And, lastly, darling, are you a fool for not wanting to date a cop, solider, sailor and/or cowboy all rolled into one? Good luck! Hello Trinity, My boyfriend drives too fast. We fight about it all the time. Do you have any witty suggestions to get him to slow down? Thanks, Driving Hell, Portland, OR Hello Driving Hell, Besides reading a book or lying down in the back seat while he drives, you may also want to take your own car. Otherwise, pumpkin, try reading him: Trinity’s Speedy Tips For Knowing When You’re Driving Too Fast (You’re on the highway and…) 1. Everyone appears to be driving really slow. 2. The passengers in your car are shaking and crying. 3. People are waving at you to slow down. 4. You’ve changed lanes over five times in the last minute! 5. Y ou can see the hairs on the back of the neck of the driver ahead! 6. Y our heart’s racing, your palms sweating

and you’re punching the dashboard screaming, “Move it! Move it!” 7. Your passengers are on their cell phones with their next of kin saying goodbye! 8. T here are four cop cars behind you with their sirens on. 9. Everyone in front of you is pulling over so you can pass. 10. L astly, your passengers are ripping the airbags out of the dashboard! : : info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

Spiritual continued from page 14 I have already had the privilege of getting to know a few drag queens, but in 2017 I want to get to know even more. At Wedgewood Church I would like to have a monthly worship segment featuring a drag queen. The drag queen and I would do a skit/ question-and-answer time together. It will be fun, not stuffy. Who better to teach the Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, atheists and agnostics we have at Wedgewood Church than a drag queen? I also want to have an annual drag queen contest at Wedgewood Church. It wouldn’t just be your average drag queen contest, though. It would be a drag queens contest by a church to celebrate all drag queen do for the world, to say thank you to drag queen and to proclaim to all the world that God has no gender and that genitals do not determine gender. Who knows? Maybe other things could happen too, like using Wedgewood Church’s stage and fellowship hall for a training center for people interested in starting their drag queen careers. You’ve got to start somewhere. Wouldn’t it be great if drag queens got their start in a church? Let me know of your interest: Rev. Dr. Chris Ayers, 704-604-0556, christophermarkayers@ gmail.com. Wedgewood Church is at the corner of Tyvola and Wedgewood, not far from South Park Mall, 4800 Wedgewood Dr., Charlotte, NC 28210. : : —Rev. Dr. Chris Ayers is senior clergy at Wedgewood Church. Phot oCredit: Alexander via Adobe Stock

qnotes

Feb. 10-23 . 2017

qnotes

EVENTS

February-March 2017 11th Annual Moral March on Raleigh Raleigh Memorial Auditorium 2 E. South St., Raleigh 8:30 a.m.-12 p.m. The 11th Annual Moral March on Raleigh will rally citizens to call on their lawmakers to respect the fight for an intersectional agenda to support such issues as public education, voting rights, economic sustainability, workers’ rights and livable wages, medicaid expansion and equal protection under the law without regard to race, immigration status, gender, gender identity or sexual orientation. More information is available online. hkonj.com/moral-march-on-raleigh.

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Continues through Jan. 19 SEP FEB MO ‘The Curious Case of the Dog in the Night-Time’ Belk Theater 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte Times Vary The play that has won five Tony Awards, based on the book of the same name, “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time” comes to Charlotte. A 15-year-old boy with an exceptional brain, and a difficulty understanding everyday life in spite of his intelligence, embarks on solving the mystery of who killed his neighbor’s dog. It has been called “one of the most fully immersive works ever to wallop Broadway” by The New York Times. More information and tickets are available online. blumenthalarts.org.

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LGBTQ Movie Night, SEP FEB MO ‘I Am Not Your Negro’ Regal Cinemas Park Terrace 6 4289 Park Rd., Charlotte 7 p.m. Join members of the LGBTQ community for a night at the movies to watch the critically acclaimed documentary, “I Am Not Your Negro,” about writer and social critic James Baldwin. “Whatever you think about the past and future of what used to be called ‘race relations’ this movie will make you think again, and may even change your mind,” writes A.O. Scott for The New York Times. Attendees will be responsible for purchasing their own tickets. More information is available online. facebook.com/events/151361615369446.

Submit your event to our calendar!

You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a three-forone entry. All Charlotte-area events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes.com), Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce (clgbtcc.org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com). Carnaval’ SEP FEB MO Midwood International Cultural Center 1817 Central Ave., Charlotte 8–11 p.m. Don’t let being far from Brazil keep you from celebrating Carnival. This event will feature authentic Brazilian food, dancers performing Afro-Brazilian and Rio-style samba, a costume contest, an open bar and a dance floor. Tickets and more information are available online. cottonbranch.org/carnaval2017.

Charlotte Pride Band Presents ‘I Am Woman’ First United Methodist Church Charlotte 501 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 5–6:30 p.m. The Charlotte Pride band honors women for Women’s History Month with a concert called “I Am Woman.” The concert will honor women, past and present, who have had an impact throughout the world and on our community. Tickets cost $15. –––––––––––––––––––– More information and tickets are avail‘The Vagina Monologues’ able online. The Orange Peel charlotteprideband.org. 101 Biltmore Ave., Asheville –––––––––––––––––––– 8 p.m. Condom Couture’ “The Vagina Monologues” is in its 18th Neighborhood Theatre year, and the play, written by Eve Ensler 511 E. 36th St., Charlotte ‘Blumenthal Celebrates and based on interviews with over 200 SEP FEB MO 8:30 p.m. Dance’ women, comes to The Orange Peel to Planned Parenthood South Atlantic Belk Theater raise money for Helpmate of Asheville. presents the annual Condom Couture 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte The nonprofit provides services and fashion show, 6 p.m. support to women and children victimBlumenthal hosts an evening celebrating ized by domestic abuse. Tickets cost $25 where area designers create the joy of dance and movement. Dance, for general admission in advance and wearable art out fitness and $35 at the door, and $15 in advance and healthy living $20 at the door for students. More infor- of condoms to promote safer exhibits will mation and tickets are available online. sex. Funds raised be followed theorangepeel.net. through ticket by a lecture sales go to prodemonstramote the work of tion and a talk the organization. on nutrition, Tickets start at ending with a performance by Twyla $25 for general admission. More inforTharp Dance. More information and mation and tickets are available online. tickets are available online. condomcouture.com. blumenthalarts.org.

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To see more upcoming events, visit goqnotes.com/calendar/

Continues through March 12 ‘The Bodyguard’ Belk Theater 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte Times Vary Based on the hit film, the awardwinning musical “The Bodyguard” will feature Grammy nominee Deborah Cox. Songs include “Queen of the Night,” “So Emotional,” “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” and “I Will Always Love You.” Note that Cox will not be performing at the Saturday matinee and Sunday evening performances. Ticket prices vary. More information and tickets are available online. blumenthalarts.org.

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‘Apple Pie: SEP MAR MO An American Art Show’ Goodyear Arts 516 N. College St., Charlotte 6–9 p.m. Apple Pie is a curated art show addressing the intersectional identities of American artists. Artworks of various media will express the scope of how individuals relate to, synthesize, or explore what America is and/or represents. More information is available online. goodyeararts.com.

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Our People:

Q&A with Devin ‘Rebel’ Adams Boylesque diva talks passion, dedication and inspiration by Maria Dominguez :: qnotes staff

Burleque has been around for centuries, and it’s more than just racy performances; to Devin “Rebel” Adams, it’s an art. He spends hours and even days preparing his costumes, handcrafting complex outfits that glitter in the lights of the stage, only to be torn off at the opportune moment. Meeting Adams for the first time, you’re immediately drawn to his big personality and wit. He has a huge smile and isn’t afraid to show it. Adams calls what he does “boylesque,” and he won the title of Prince at Great Southern Exposure, his first-ever burlesque competition. Rebel performs as one of two male dancers with Big Mama D’s House of Burlesque. You can catch the group’s upcoming 10th annual Valentease performance on Feb. 11 at the Visulite. How did you get started with burlesque? A friend of mine was like, “hey there’s auditions being held at Upstage in NoDa, you should go.” So, I just showed up and did my thing, and they were highly impressed. [It] makes me feel good about myself, that some-

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Feb. 10-23 . 2017

body actually thinks I’m a great dancer and wants me to be in their dance troupe…I never really took a dance class. I was basically selftaught, inspired by Janet Jackson and other dancers, Michael Jackson, Justin Timberlake. Who are your burlesque icons and mentors? I look up to a performer named Ray Gun. He’s based out of Chicago. Also Bazooka Joe, who’s also based out of Chicago. Mr. Gorgeous, who’s based out of New York. Lola Lesoleil, I love her. She’s in Atlanta. Of course, Dixie Crystal, Big Mama D. She’s honestly the reason behind my burlesque career, because if it wasn’t for her pushing me, I probably wouldn’t be known in the burlesque world. She’s local here in Charlotte. I look up to her tremendously, like any advice that she gives me, I’m doing it. What’s your favorite part of performing? My favorite part of performing is when I connect with the crowd. As soon as I get on stage, I’m instantly happy, doesn’t matter what song I’m

performing to. I’m connected with the crowd, and I like to flirt with the crowd because it’s burlesque and it’s strip tease. You want to get the crowd involved and hyped-up and excited. What are some of your signature moves? I don’t really have a signature move. I do this bow, and I don’t really pay attention to it. I bow down and both arms are extended out. Every video I’ve seen, I’ve noticed that I’ve done that. It’s subconscious. How do you use your sexuality when you perform? My sexuality is what it is. I can connect with male, I can connect with female. I’m a Libra, and we’re natural flirts. I can’t help it. If I’m taking off my pants, and there’s somebody sitting in the front row, it doesn’t matter if it’s a man or a woman, of course I’m going to moon them [laughs]. And they absolutely love it. What do you do for fun, besides burlesque?

I used to paint a lot, oil paint. I haven’t done that in a while. I like creating. I like doing the costuming which is part of burlesque… Burlesque is a part of my fun thing, because I get to create a costume. I get to create an act. I get to create a persona. I get to pick out whatever kind of music I want to dance to, whatever theme that goes with it…I like to go to the park with my dog. I like meaningful conversations, something that grasps me, something that inspires me. In other words, I just like creating, and creating new relationships with good people. How would you describe your “happy place?” I’m actually a loner. I like to be alone. I like to listen to my music. If I’m in the house cleaning, and I’ve got a good playlist going, I’m good, I’m happy…But most definitely when I’m on stage. : :

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life

dishing with buff faye by Buff Faye :: qnotes contributor :: info@bufffaye.com

Watch out for the Shady Ladies Yes, it happened to me. I was scammed. Scam artists, or as I like to call them “Shady Ladies,” are everywhere. Some are just bad liars and others are outright thieves. These Shady Ladies are mixed among the reputable, professional types online who are selling wigs, offering to sew costumes, making DJ mixes and more. So, how do you protect yourself and your George Washingtons from these Shady Ladies? I put together these lessons learned from the most recent scam. Trust me, read all about it on my Facebook page. 8 Tips to Avoid the Shady Ladies Ask Around Before You Buy. I know. It seems like common sense. And it is. But I thought naively that a Facebook post would be “read for filth” if a scammer was selling something. But nobody said anything on the post. Once I was scammed, I learned that this Shady Lady had done the same thing to nearly a dozen of my drag queen sisters. What?! It was true. Each had a story like mine and some worse. Document. Luckily I did get my money back from the Shady Lady after 45 days of inquiry, hearing her excuses and then blasting her publicly on Facebook. Because I had all of the communications with dates in a chat message, it was clear the Shady Lady was trying to pull a fast one. Be sure to document communications with Facebook messages, emails, etc. Purchase or Deposit. It is customary if you are buying wigs, makeup, eyelashes or another product to pay upfront. Be sure you use a method of payment that has buyer protection, either via your credit card, Ebay, Etsy or typically PayPal. Also be sure to process the purchase as “goods or services” in order to be able to use the buyer protection. If you are purchasing a costume, you may be asked to pay in full upfront or a deposit if it is being custom-made and completed to your satisfaction. Fake Photos. Sometimes the product or what you buy does not look like the photo. Be sure you take a screenshot or photograph what was being sold and what you got. If you have a complaint, file it immediately with the seller and see if they will replace the item. If not, you can potentially use the buyer protection if you move quickly to file the complaint. Timelines & Deadlines. If you are purchasing something, ask how long it will take to receive the merchandise from date of purchase. If you can’t get a specific date or it doesn’t show up by that date, you should follow-up immediately. My wig was ready to ship on Dec. 12 when I purchased it. When it didn’t show up by Jan 1, I began to ask questions. When it didn’t show up and I could not receive any tracking information, I knew this Shady Lady was up to something. Beware. The Worst Shady Lady. Knock on woody, this has not happened to me. But the worst Shady Ladies are those who sell the same wig or dress repeatedly to different people, receive

all the money and then delete their Facebook account or other online communications. Hold your pearls, this does happen, although not frequently. Report It. After my recent scam, I learned there were Facebook pages and other websites for scams and fraudulent activities. Don’t be afraid to share your truthful experience with a particular company or seller. This way others might learn and be warned before making their purchase from the same seller.

Photo Credit: Graham Morrison Photography Shame, Shame. If all else fails and you are not getting your wig or costume — or whatever the merchandise — you can always shame them on Facebook or other social media. Now I said “shame” — not bully. They are different things. Immediately, of course, my Shady Lady buckled and the money was refunded with this comment denying any scam: Shady Lady: I did not scam you, so please stop saying that I did, I have refunded your money. Oh Shady Lady, it took 45 days and I never got a wig and only after posting on Facebook did you send a refund. Yeah, that’s a scam and very shitty of you regardless! In this world, there are going to be Shady Ladies. I have learned my lesson and these are eight tips to hopefully avoid your share of scams, too. There are some truly awful stories out there of people losing hundreds and thousands of dollars due to bad drag purchases online. Before you double click, be sure you read this, real quick. : : DRAG TIP: I got two this column: “You get what you pay for.” and “ If it is too good to be true, it more than likely is.” — Buff Faye calls the Queen City her home and calls out assholes for what they are (and she performs to raise money for charities). Find her at your favorite bars and hot spots. Plus don’t forget her weekly Saturday night show with Patti O’Furniture, monthly Sunday drag brunch and regular Friday night party bus. Learn more at AllBuff.com. Follow on Twitter @BuffFaye

SHOUT OUTS: Don’t fret. Some of my favorite drag queen merchandise sellers are

Morgan Wells, Mark Martin & Outfitter Wigs. Share some of your favorites in the comments online too.

Feb. 10-23 . 2017

qnotes

Feb. 10-23 . 2017