QNotes, March 5, 2021

March 5-18, 2021

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March 5-18, 2021

inside this issue

March 5-18 2021 Vol 35 No 23

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5 A Call for Community Action

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contributors this issue

Joey Amato, Mykah Buff, Kendra R. Johnson, Buck Jones, Joe Killian, L’Monique King, Lainey Millen, Gregg Shapiro, Rev. David Smith, Trinity

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12 Tell Trinity 14 Thoroughly Modern: An Interview with Catherine Cohen

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More protections for LBGTQ people are still needed, particularly at local levels. Resolutions tend to be symbolic, while ordinances have more power and can be enforced.

6 As Equality Act Passes in U.S. House, State LGBTQ Advocates Continue Push for Local Protections 6 News Briefs

Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBTQ and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBTQ life and social justice issues.

hy We Need W LGBTQ-Inclusive Non-Discrimination Ordinances — Not Resolutions

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life

The Transparency Project Our People: Maks Gomez

Our People: Maks Gomez

An interview with the activist, massage therapist, and actor. Gomez discusses his personal life as well as the numerous ways he is involved in the Charlotte LGBTQ community.

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views 7 Why We Need LGBTQ-Inclusive Non-Discrimination Ordinances — Not Resolutions 10 You Aren’t Always What You Drive 10 Jean-Phillipe in Charlotte 13 Celebrating 40 Years of Ministry in the Low Country

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March 5-18, 2021

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news

A Call for Community Action

An Open Letter From the Charlotte Change Agents and Other LGBTQ Leaders If there is one thing we have learned, it is that we must take care of each other. This has always been true for our LGBTQIA+ community. Our history is a stark reminder of caring for those that society deems “less than” during times of medical crisis. Every decision we make has a reverberating impact. If we don’t do the work for our community, nobody else will.

Today we remain in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, and its toll has been unprecedented, particularly for the most vulnerable; those with pre-existing health conditions, communities of color and low income workers.

As LGBTQIA+ Charlotte area organizations, we are calling on our community to recommit ourselves in the fight against COVID-19. We are asking that each of us lead with care and love, taking every recommended safety effort to protect ourselves and one another.

We know all too well the fatigue many share at this moment and the economic hardships faced. The pain institutions, businesses and individuals have suffered.

Now is the time to remember the countless, unnecessary lives lost and recognize that the deaths and hospitalizations continue to grow. The 500,000+ lives lost are loved ones — Moms, Dads, Aunts, Uncles, Siblings and Friends — each with a name, each with a precious story and a soul that no longer lives on this earth.Many lives could have been saved and no more should have to die because we failed to listen and act.

Hope is on the horizon but this is not over. We must remain vigilant now more than ever. We must be steadfast in our conviction to protect each and every member of our community. Inequities abound, as systems of oppression hamper vaccine rollouts to marginalized peoples while those with greater privilege are better positioned to take safety precautions at work and home.

We must listen and follow the healthcare experts who have given us a blueprint to move ahead to the next chapter. We must ensure all of us have equitable, affordable healthcare access and the resources needed to take care of and feed our families; specifi-

cally our most vulnerable, people of color and low income families. This includes access to help with loss of income due to COVID-19, burial services for victim families, counseling, mental health resources and other health needs.

Together we believe that there are ways to prevent more unnecessary death. Civil rights champion and openly gay black activist Bayard Rustin once said: “We are all one — and if we don’t know it, we will learn it the hard way.” What we are calling for is not new.

The message bears repeating 500,000 plus times for every life lost.

As leaders and members of Charlotte’s LGBTQIA+ community, we implore our community to take our safety seriously, protect ourselves and those most vulnerable and act to be safe taking care of one another. We ask that we commit to and follow the guidelines: • Wear your mask. Medical professionals are suggesting to wear a surgical mask, and a cloth mask over it, or a KN95 mask for optimal protection from COVID-19. If you are able to do so, donate and supply masks to others through community nonprofit organizations or other local opportunities.

• Wash hands regularly and ensure 6ft of social distancing when you absolutely must be out in public. If you are a business, be sure to enforce mask wearing, social distancing and provide hand washing supplies/stations.

• Follow healthcare guidelines and government authorities. Fully abide by health care recommendations and the COVID-19 laws of the State of North Carolina for individuals and businesses, which include not hosting or attending large in-person events or gathering in large groups. Small gatherings also carry risk and should be avoided.

• Aid those in need. Continue to find ways to safely help the most marginalized among us, including those experiencing health impacts, housing or food insecurity or financial hardships.

• Honor those who have experienced loss. Find ways to show compassion and identify financial resources, if necessary, for the families of loved ones who have passed away or continue to suffer. Bring attention to their stories and honor their loss, the suffering as a way to prevent more death.

Signatories:

Louis Kemp, on behalf of the Human Rights Campaign-Charlotte, Board of Governors

Kristen Clark, President, One Voice Chorus

Cristal Robinson, Board President, Pauli Murray LGBTQ+ Bar Association.

O’Neale Atkinson, Interim Executive Director, Time Out Youth

Roger Howard, City Commissioner, Stonewall Sports Charlotte

Matt Comer, Communications Director, Charlotte Pride

Don Wilson, President, Queen City Connects

Bishop Tonyia Rawls, Executive Director, The Freedom Center for Social Justice

Daniel Valdez, Board President, Charlotte Pride

Gina Esquivel, Civic Canvas

Jerry Yelton, Programs & Development Director, Charlotte Pride

Cameron Pruette, President, LGBTQ Democrats of Mecklenburg County

Elaine Millen, Consultant, TeknoLink Marketing Services

Jonathan Barrio, Co-Founder, Charlotte Gaymers Network

John C. Quillin, Managing Artistic Director, Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte

Zach Smith, Co-Founder, Charlotte Gaymers Network

Liz Fitzgerald, Charlotte Lesbian & Gay Fund Board Member

David McRae, Deputy Director, Charlotte Gaymers Network

Chris Rudisill, Founder of artstreet and Project Manager, QnotesCarolinas.org

Brent Roberts, Assistant Director of Programs, Charlotte Gaymers Network

Members of the Charlotte LGBTQ Elders

Gary Montgomery, Founder, Queer Society Charlotte

Kendra R. Johnson, Executive Director, Equality NC

Nathan B. Smith, Vice President of Philanthropy, RAIN, Inc.

Jamie Hildreth, Charlotte Civic Engagement Coordinator, Equality NC

Jennifer Ratajczak, President, Charlotte Transgender Healthcare Group

Jacob Hamm, Chair, Time Out Youth

Holly Savoy, Past President, Charlotte Transgender Healthcare Group

Chad Turner, President & CEO, Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce

Benjamin F. Simmons, III, Vice President, Charlotte Transgender Healthcare Group

Ciara Lilly, Chair, Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce

R. Lee Robertson, Jr. Chair of the Board of Directors, RAIN, Inc.

Joe Davis, Founder & Executive Director, Hearts Beat as One Foundation

Chelsea Gulden, President and CEO, RAIN, Inc.

Reia Chapman, Owner, Center for Family & Maternal Wellness; Executive Director, Social Justice Emotional Response Collective

To Our LGBTQIA+ Siblings and Allies,

Connie J. Vetter, Attorney at Law, PLLC Jermaine Nakia Lee, Executive Director POOR NO MORE

William Loftin, Transitional Chair, MeckPAC Nattiel Turner, Transitional Vice Chair, MeckPAC

Frank Summers, Founder & Director, Rainbow Foster Network

Kode Brown, Manager, White Rabbit

Frank D. Dorsey, II, Associate Director, Johnson C. Smith University - Office of Student Leadership and Engagement

Shann Fulton, Chair, Charlotte Black Pride Bethany Corrigan, Executive Director, Transcend Charlotte

March 5-18, 2021

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As Equality Act Passes in U.S. House, State LGBTQ Advocates Continue Push for Local Protections Local Securities Are Just as Important as National Ones

BY Joe Killian| Guest Contributor

LGBTQ immigrants top 1.3 million The Williams Institute at the University of California, Los Angeles School of Law reported findings from research that showed that 1.3 million adult immigrants in the U.S. identify as LGBTQ individuals.

info: williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu.

MMAA supports review The Modern Military Association of American said that it fully supports Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin’s issuance of a 90-day civilian-led, independent review commission on sexual assault and harassment in the military.

info: modernmilitary.org.

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he U.S. House of Representatives passed the Equality Act Thursday, an essential first hurdle to new LGBTQ protections under existing federal civil rights laws on housing, public access, education and federally funded programs.

But as the legislation now heads to the Senate, LGBTQ advocates in North Carolina say the push for local non-discrimination ordinances must maintain its recent momentum whatever the outcome at the federal level.

“It passed the House, but it has an uphill battle in the Senate,” said Kendra Johnson, executive director of Equality N.C. “It needs 60 votes in the Senate and as you saw in the almost fully partisan vote in the House, it’s going to take some maneuvering to get to that 60 and really ratify the Equality Act.” In December, a state ban on new LGBTQ protections — including non-discrimination ordinances for employment and housing — was lifted. The ban was a legacy of the brutal fight over House Bill 2 (HB2) and House Kendra Johnson Bill 142 (HB142), (Photo Credit: ncpolicywatch.com) the controversial laws that excluded lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people from statewide non-discrimination protections. Since it was lifted, six communities have unanimously voted to pass LGBTQ-inclusive non-discrimination ordinances — Chapel Hill, Carrboro, Hillsborough, Durham, Greensboro, Orange County.

“Those local efforts are vital even as progress is made at the federal level,” Johnson said.

“Everyone needs local protections, regardless,” Johnson said.

“You’d want to have it ideally on all three levels of the government.

Even though we’re part of a federal and a state framework, you want to have local mechanisms you can access. And that is why we see a federal civil rights code and civil rights statutes at the state level and then in some cities.”

Adam Polaski, communications director for the Campaign for Southern Equality, agreed.

“We see these various mechanisms as working in concert,” Polaski said. “The passage of local ordinances in North Carolina underlines that our state is ready for non-discrimination and puts pressure on Senators Tillis and Burr to do the right thing by voting for the Equality Act. Meanwhile, the advancement of the Equality Act should encourage local leaders in North Carolina to take urgent action on behalf of LGBTQ North Carolinians and signal the moral and legal imperative for their communities to pass protections. We can end anti-LGBTQ discrimination, and an essential step is securing the protections.”

“The Equality Act would establish an important baseline,” Polaski said — but it would create a floor for protections, not a ceiling.

“This is especially important in areas like private employment,” Polaski said. “Many of the local ordinances in North Carolina protect people from employment discrimination even at employers with 15 or fewer employees, which is more protective than existing federal law.”

“One-third of all LGBTQ Americans live in the South,” said Jasmine Beach-Ferrara, executive director of the Campaign for Southern Equality. They often face legislatures who continue to be hostile to progress on non-discrimination protections, despite polling that shows public support for such protections across party and geographical lines.

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“So we have worked at every level of government to create protections,” Beach-Ferrara said. “From local communities passing ordinances, to encouraging executive and administrative actions at the state level, to working to elect pro-equality candidates at the local, state and federal levels.”

This week the Center for American Progress held a roundtable discussion on behalf of the Faith for Equality coalition where LGBTQ and faith leaders discussed the importance of the Equality Act. One of the biggest names in American furniture, North Carolina’s Mitchell Gold, talked about the central nature of non-discrimination in building his Taylorsvile-based business.

“As a businessperson whose second nature it is to not discriminate based on sexual orientation or gender identity or race, religion, etc., that has served my business well since our founding over 30 years ago,” Gold said.

“Enabling us to beMitchell Gold come a nationally rec(Photo Credit: ncpolicywatch.com) ognized prestige home furnishings brand.”

In the business world, he and his company might be described as “conservative,” he said — a description that should denote careful consideration and a willingness to devote deep thought and research into issues before acting. “The sort of reactionary anti-LGBTQ sentiment he sees from the local level to Washington is anything but conservative,” he said.

Sunu Chandy, legal director of the National Women’s Law Center, said that “while recent Supreme Court decisions and a more friendly presidential administration have allowed progress, LGBTQ protections need to be enshrined in law — local, state and federal.”

“We cannot depend on always having a friendly administration; we cannot always depend on the courts to get it right,” Chandy said. “We need to have these protections in our federal civil rights laws.”

Johnson agreed. “President Joe Biden’s administration has already reversed some of the anti-LGBTQ moves of former President Donald Trump’s administration,” she said — but in a sense, that shows the volatile nature of the community’s rights without strong protections enshrined in law.

“We had three strong movements at the top of the year with the Biden administration,” Johnson said. “The reversal of the trans military ban, we had the interpretation of Bostock throughout his administration to utilize sex as sexual orientation and gender identity, and then we had Housing and Urban Development also interpreting sex with regard to discrimination, as sexual orientation and gender identity in terms of fair housing. Those are three huge things, but we still have a long, long way to go.”

“Unfortunately, identities have become politicized,” Johnson said. “The reality is, there are things in our very constitution and even our Declaration of Independence where we say that we should all have equal rights. but that has never, ever been the reality in these here United States. And so we still have work to do.” : : This story originally appeared on NC Policy Watch, ncpolicywatch.com.

WAF seeks survey participants We Are Family has issued a call for participants to take a survey to gather feedback from those who participated in a program or service offered by the organization. This is open to youth, parents, volunteers and GSA advisors. A giveaway of $50 Visa gift cards will be presented to 10 randomly selected individuals who complete the program assessment. Visit bit.ly/3kysAat to provide feedback.

info: waf.org.

Legal org launches national campaign Lambda Legal has launched its ONE Lambda Legal grassroots campaign which is aimed at uniting volunteers across the U.S. with the goal of funding critical legal and policy work of the organization.

info: lambdalegal.org.

Nightlife relief initiative launched As a result of the challenges faced by COVID-19, GayCities has launched the GayCities’ LGBTQ Nightlife Relief Fund on GoFundMe to help save LGBTQ venues across the U.S. Tax-deductible contributions can be sent to help LGBTQ nightlife venues across the country stay afloat by offering financial support to their employees and paying for ongoing business expenses. Until the fund is depleted, donations will be paid out as one-time $500 matching grants to qualifying LGBTQ venues that include the hashtag #savequeervenues in newly created fundraisers or who already had an existing GoFundMe. Applications are available online at bit.ly/2Pgu5yB and criteria is available for review at gofundme.com/f/ savequeerspaces.

info: gofundme.com/c/act/save-queervenues.

Abortion ban blocked in S.C. In response to the lawsuit filed by Planned Parenthood South Atlantic and Greenville Women’s Clinic, a judge has temporarily blocked South Carolina’s dangerous six-week abortion ban.

info: ppsat.org.

Org names new ED MPact Global Action for Gay Men’s Health and Rights has selected Andrew Spieldenner Ph.D., currently associate professor in the Department of Communication at California State University - San Marcos, as its next executive director.

info: mpactglobal.org.

— Compiled by Lainey Millen

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Why We Need LGBTQ-Inclusive Non-Discrimination Ordinances — Not Resolutions Political Voices

BY Kendra R. Johnson, Equality North Carolina Executive Director | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

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t’s been a long road for non-discrimination protections in North Carolina since the passage of House Bill 2 (HB2) almost five years ago, which ignited international outcry, economic backlash and the invalidation of many non-discrimination ordinances previously passed across the state.

Since a key prong of House Bill 142 (HB142) — HB2’s problematic successor — expired on Dec. 1, we’ve seen five cities and one county across North Carolina begin to pass long-overdue LGBTQ-inclusive non-discrimination ordinances. We’ve also seen incredible progress on the federal level with the Biden administration issuing several major executive orders advancing LGBTQ rights, including expanding protections from last summer’s Bostock v. Clayton County decision. Last week, we also saw the House of Representatives, again, pass the Equality Act. We have plenty of reasons to celebrate, but not all progress translates to true and meaningful protections for the most vulnerable — particularly at the local level.

As Equality NC and the #NCIsReady coalition have worked with local stake-

tion. That’s holders to why it’s pass nonimpordiscrimitant that nation orthese laws dinances actually this year, alleviate we’ve enharm and countered improve a recurring the condiquestion: tions of What peoples’ makes an True equality for LGBTQ+ people has yet to be achieved. lives — effective (Photo Credit: Daniel Jędzura via Adobe Stock) they can’t local nonjust be symbolic. discrimination policy? There are several Because resolutions don’t have teeth different kinds of routes that municipalior an enforcement mechanism, they ties can take, including resolutions, which aren’t really addressing the lived impact symbolically call for LGBTQ inclusion and that LGBTQ-inclusive non-discrimination an end to discrimination and ordinances; ordinances provide. Employers who which provide methods in enforce nonwant to fire LGBTQ people without just discrimination. However, resolutions, uncause still can. Queer folks can be kicked like ordinances, do not provide the same out of restaurants. Trans folks can still level of opportunity for meaningful change experience discrimination while searchin peoples’ lives. ing for housing.

The bottom line is: local LGBTQ protecOrdinances close that gap, because tions need to effectively address the ways they directly address the avenues by in which the most vulnerable members of which so many LGBTQ people are marour communities experience marginaliza-

ginalized — whether it be employment, housing, or public accommodations — they make the lives of LGBTQ people much more secure. Symbolic gestures are great, but even greater is the increase in lived equality which non-discrimination ordinances represent.

Equality NC is working hard to ensure that our ordinances here in North Carolina will be effective, but we’re more powerful if we also have support. We all need to stand up for lived equality — and we all need to encourage our elected officials to pass non-discrimination ordinances that actually change the conditions of North Carolinians’ lives and work toward a more equitable state for us all.

You can chip in — all you have to do is head to NCisready.org. There you can find the contact information for local elected officials as well as updates about the status of non-discrimination ordinances. You can also read stories of people whose lives would be impacted by non-discrimination and who are standing up for lived equality.

Join us and them in standing up for full and meaningful lived equality, and help build a better North Carolina for us all. : :

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The Transparency Project How Ugly Intolerance Inspired Beautiful Art

BY L’Monique King| Guest Contributor

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informally known as The Transparency Project. However, Jordan’s initial inspiration, he said, were ‘red flags’ and introspection. He went on to elaborate on how he viewed legislation like the infamous “Bathroom Bills” that included restricting individuals to using public restrooms that correlated with their assigned sex, not their gender, as “red flags.” Such legislation seemed to target people who were either not cisgender or were members of the LGBTQ+ community. He continued to say and express concern regarding the previous presidential administration that placed a ban on openly transgender military participation. Former President Donald Trump tweeted on July 26, 2017, “And I think I’m doing a lot of people a favor by coming out and just saying it. As you know, it’s been a very complicated issue for the military. It’s been a very confusing issue for the military. And I think I’m doing the military a great favor.”

Robinson also has plenty to say and the arts activism of The Transparency Project is the vehicle he’s using to say it. As for the introspection, Robinson said numerous factors contributed to the birth of The Transparency Project and passionately stated, “I felt like now is the time,” and added a Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King paraphrase, “because injustice anywhere is injustice everywhere.”

The Transparency Project is Jordan Robinson’s attempt to use art and design to elevate the voices of transgender, nonbinary and gender non-conforming (mostly visual) artists. For creatives who work in mediums beyond visual arts and those dealing with adversity and disparities that make contributing difficult, Robinson’s JTR Presents website offers the option of contributing autobiographical written and spoken/recorded stories. In the meantime, the project features the work of artists, primarily in the form of paintings, drawings and photography. Currently, The Transparency Project is a web-based exhibition accessible to anyone with access to the Internet. In just a matter of a few clicks, site visitors can have the pleasure of discovering the talent and

ransparency has come to mean much more than being able to see through an object. In the 21st century, when people hear or use the term, they’re often thinking about transparency within a social context. Behaviorally, transparency implies honesty, communication and accountability. However, following an interview with 29-year-old Greensboro resident Jordan Robinson, it became clear that there is an extended definition of the

Jordan Robinson (Photo Credit: Jordan T. Robinson) word.

Robinson is a creative professional and the founder of the socially-conscious design company, JTR Presents. Though the company was formed just a few years ago in 2016, Robinson, who earned his Master of Arts Administration from The Savannah College of Art and Design. He graduated college and hit the ground running with no finish line in sight. In speaking with him about how to define JTR Presents, he initially summed up the company with six words: Communication, Understanding, Discovery, Activism, Visibility and Elevation. When repeating those words back to him, he revised his list. Reflecting upon his response, he said he wanted to replace ‘communication’ with ‘collaboration,’ as he believes “communication is the umbrella” to all the other descriptors he previously gave.

Communication is important to Robinson and, in part, the inspiration for his most recent project, Transparency,

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Adirondack chair painted by Terry Hanney.

(Photo Credit: Terry Hanney)

see next page u

multifacetedness of artists who are more than just their gender — or lack thereof; artists like Terry Hanney (he/him) and Eric Edward Schell (she/her).

Eric Edward Schell (Photo Credit: Pride Portraits) As folx are inspired by different muses and have different creative processes, the reasons artists participate in The Transparency Project are just as varied.

For Eric Schell, a New Yorker, photographer and founder of Pride Portraits (a National LGBTQIA+ visibility campaign), it was all about paying homage to Monica Roberts — a Black trans woman who assisted her on her journey of gender identity acceptance.

Roberts was also an award-winning blogger (TransGriot) who passed away suddenly in 2020. During a brief conversation with Schell, she explained how she had given Robinson a picture she had taken of Roberts a few years

back. In reflecting upon how much posthumous press her death and accomplishments received, Schell lamented, “That’s really nice and wonderful, but I think they really missed the mark on not employing her while she was alive.” She went on to say, “She was part of my campaign, Pride Portraits — I’m happy that Monica’s included in the [Transparency] project, that means a lot.”

On the local front is mix media artist and painter, Terry Hanney. For over 50 years now, this arts activist has worked independently and collaboratively on a multitude of local and national projects.

Those numerous projects include local murals, the Utah Children’s Art Inquiry Project, Key West’s Fantasy Fest and huge political artistic installations in Seattle. With all that, many Charlottians may not know his name even though they have probably seen his work around town. Hanney’s vibrant brush strokes grace everything from Adirondack chairs to the walls of area businesses.Unable to be reached for comment, a personal statement from Hanney on the Transparency Project’s website gives further insight on how Hanney came to call Charlotte, N.C. home and was moved to participate in the Transparency Project.

Terry Hanney (Photo Credit: Terry Hanney)

Monica Roberts (Photo Credit: Pride Portraits)

Thanks to the Transparency Project, Hanney, Schell and many other artists have the opportunity to showcase their artistics trans-ability in a manner that can inspire all. Their art undoubtedly makes our world more colorful, more beautiful and our future more promising. : :

YOU’VE KNOWN US FOR 40 YEARS WE HAVE A NEW IDENTITY AND A NEW LOCATION

HOME 2 SUITES 10 FLOOR MEETING ROOM 610 S. CALDWELL STREET SUNDAYS AT 10:45 TH

www.mymcccharlo e.org MCC Charlo e: PO Box 42838 Charlo e, NC 28215

March 5-18, 2021

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You Aren’t Always What You Drive Pride Wealth Strategies

BY Joey Amato | Guest Contributor

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e all know someone who drives a super fancy car and flaunts it every chance he or she gets. What we don’t know is the situation that person put themselves in to drive that fancy car. Of course, some people can afford the car and even buy it outright, but most of the time, it’s either leased or the person is paying upwards of $1,000 per month just to make everyone on the road seethe with envy.

I was the type of person who not only wanted to drive a nice car, but I also changed cars like I change my underwear.

Within a decade I think I owned about six or seven vehicles. In hindsight, this was a very stupid thing to do. Not only was I losing money every time I traded in a car, I was increasing my monthly car payment just to keep up appearances. The culmination of my stupidity was the BMW 325. I loved that car...until I needed an oil change and new tires. They may be pretty to look at, but maintenance on a German car can run a fortune.

Buying a fancy car is not always worth the financial burden.

(Photo Credit: Luna Vandoorne via Adobe Stock) One day I brought my BMW in to get serviced and the dealership told me it would cost around $2,000. I literally told them to keep the car and traded it in for a Hyundai SUV that same day.

Fast forward a few years and I now drive a 2008 Infiniti G35 with 137,000 miles and counting. I recently paid it off in full. It’s mine, and I will drive that baby until the very end. I can’t stress

enough how great it feels to not have a car payment anymore. That dreaded $395/month is now money in my pocket.

That’s almost $4,800 per year that I can add to my investment account.

I will never buy another car I can’t afford. And by can’t afford, I mean one that I couldn’t buy with cash if I wanted to. If you don’t have the equivalent amount of cash saved up, then you don’t need a car that expensive. And if you do spend a bit more than you should, keep it until it’s paid off and keep on driving it. Warren Buffett is famous for driving cars into the ground. If one of the richest people in the world can drive an old car, so can you! : : Pride Wealth Strategies is a source for LGBTQ financial coaching and analysis.

The company specializes in Investment Portfolio Reviews, Debt Management, Budgeting, Wealth Management and Estate Planning. For more information, visit pridewealthstrategies.com.

Jean-Phillipe in Charlotte The Gay South

BY Buck Jones | Guest Contributor

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ike many of you, I just watched the Netflix series “Emily in Paris.” The Darren Star created show, he of “Sex and the City fame,” has been met with the kind of cool disdain and online eyerolling here in Paris usually reserved for Madonna, so I was curious if it really was that awful. I went in expecting nothing but the intellectual nutritional value equivalent of a bag of potato chips, but hoped that it tilted a bit more towards the artisanal kettle chip variety and less like a Pringles or Lay’s.

I didn’t hate it, let me put it that way.

Which is a very French way of complimenting something, by the way. C’est pas terrible is something one hears quite a bit discussing with friends the latest gossip

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over a shared plate of cheese and bottle of wine. There are stereotypes in the show for sure, but the criticism it has received is overblown. But it made me wonder what a comparable show might be if it were reversed with a French (gay) guy coming to live and work in Charlotte.

Picture this: Jean-Philippe doesn’t speak English very well and comes from a luxury-clothing brand that just acquired a small Charlotte based hip-hop clothing brand (in my retelling of the story).

He has been hired to give his marketing expertise, but, as a white French guy, doesn’t know a thing about the Carolinas or their many subcultures. Oh, the hilarity that ensues! I don’t know about you, but I would watch that!

One aspect of the sucess of “Emily in Paris” is that it focuses on Emily’s perspective, of seeing things as an outsider, but something a native would never really think twice about. In Jean-Philippe’s case, he might have a panic attack going to the Food Lion in Plaza Midwood, spending several hours overwhelmed by the variety of choices. “They had 47 different kinds of ranch salad dressing to choose from!” he tells his co-workers the next day at the office, “in Paris at the Monoprix they have one!”

Many discounted the “Emily in Paris” aesthetic of capturing only the charming beauty of the center of Paris, and not having Emily living and working in one of the less photogenic neighborhoods — after

all, the metropolitan area of Paris has more than nine million people and most live in non-picture-postcard apartments.

Well, Netflix created a series that was more realistic, about a woman who made some questionable relationship choices and lived in a more realistic hardscrabble quartier; it’s called “The Eddy” and nobody watched it. I don’t want to watch “gritty and depressing.” Give me “sexy and escapist” any day.

So, when “Jean-Philippe in Charlotte” gets filmed and we see that he has a hip loft in NoDa, is having picnic dates in Romare Bearden Park with Cedric (his hunky next door neighbor), and zipping around on a scooter Uptown, don’t say I didn’t warn you. : :

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Dudley’s Place to Introduce New and Expanded Mental Health Services Program Will Have a Range of Offerings

The Mental Health Wellness program will include: • Individual therapy • Couples Therapy • Family therapy • Group therapy • Peer-to-Peer mentoring program •G ender affirming therapy & assessments • In office sessions • Virtual Therapy Sessions • Couch Talks support group

Dudley’s Place is excited to announce the expansion of services and staff through the Mental Health Education and Wellness Program.

April Jones, MSW, LCSW joins the team as the full time Mental Health Therapist with over 10 years of mental health experience.

“I am absolutely thrilled to be a part of a team of providers that cares about providing holistic treatment to individuals living with HIV.” says Ms. Jones.

“We are excited to have this program at Dudley’s Place,” said Executive Director, Dale Pierce. “In working with Rosedale Health and Wellness, our patient centered medical home model is working to meet the complete needs of our clients. Being able to address the mental health needs of our clients is critical and affects all aspects of their care.”

As an Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Ms. Jones is able to provide therapy to individuals, families, and groups, as well as assessing dynamics within their environment and providing treatment interventions/solutions.

“We know that a person’s mental health can affect their physical health and vice versa. Often untreated mental health issues can wreak havoc in the body and present as physical symptoms. By learning strategies to take care of their mental health, physical health outcomes are often improved as well.”

April Jones will be joining the Dudley’s Place team as part of their mental health services expansion.

Ms. Jones says, “From increasing sources of social support and decreasing feelings of isolation, participating in mental health treatment has been proven to have lasting benefits that can assist in improving the quality of life for individuals living with HIV.”

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An Unrequited Love Tale Tell Trinity

BY Trinity | CONTRIBUTING WRITER Dearest Trinity, I’ve been going after this guy for over a year now. Even though he’s friendly and sweet, he still won’t date me. I know I’m not his type but how can I get him to fall for me?

Dream Chaser, Seattle, WA Dearest Dream Chaser, Life is too short to play a losing sport.

So snap out of it. If after a year there ain’t no lovin’ under the stars, then this affair is just... not in the cards. And if he’s not callin’ or writin’ you, then he ain’t worth holding on to. This is not a Romeo and Juliet story. This is an unrequited love tale! So, sweetie, bite the bullet and move on!

Kisses, Trinity Dear Trinity, You talk about religion and spirituality.

I’m confused.

Do you believe in God? Searching, Peoria, IL Dear Searching, You mean, do I believe in a higher consciousness that would obviously look

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like Patti Labelle or Stacey Abrams who can belt out a tune or save democracy?

Do I believe in a God(dess) who is giving, forgiving and totally accepting, granting all wishes just for the asking, judging no one and leading people into the light of unconditional love while singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”? Then, honey, yes… I do believe!

Love, Trinity

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Hey Trinity, I was dating this woman for two months when she suddenly stopped being interested.

I’ve called and sent gifts but nothing! Now she says, “She’s being stalked, [by me] and if it doesn’t stop, she’ll call the police.” What should I do?

Would Be Stalker, Harrisburg, PA Hey Would Be Stalker, When someone says “you’re stalking me,” a huge siren should go off in your head before a police siren goes off in your front yard. Whatever she feels IS the way she feels. So darling, stop right now and let her go! Also here’s:

Trinity’s Suggestive Tips For Knowing If You’re Obsessing

1. Even though months have passed since she dumped you, you still park outside her apartment, late at night, waiting to see her.

2. You turn down yet another free ticket to Hamilton just to spend your only night off on Facebook reading “his” posts.

3. Because of your religious devotion for her, your friends and relatives have disowned you… but you still feel very loved.

4. You constantly badger his friends with questions as to his well-being, his where-abouts and his favorite places to go!

5. After she got a restraining order, you still spend lunch breaks sitting 501 feet near her office and you don’t even get lunch breaks.

6. You compulsively patronize supermarkets, restaurants, gas stations and any place he may suddenly appear.

7. You hire a detective to find out all of her addresses, phone numbers and favorite hangouts.

8. You live ten minutes from work, but take fifty minutes to get there because he lives twenty minutes in the other direction.

9. You’ve built an altar to her, complete with pictures and an old hairbrush stolen from her garbage.

10. L astly, you’ve given up a high paying job just to take a minimum wage job because it’s “nearer to him.” : :

Hello Trinity, I’m a very shy gay man and being shy gets in the way of meeting people. Help!

Shy, Oklahoma City, OK

space starting at $22: call qnotes for details 704.531.9988

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Hello Shy, First, try going out in a costume, uniform or some form of drag, i.e., leather, military, work uniform or a RuPaul’s Drag Race outfit. Being in a uniform or costume works wonders for shy folks. Second, start approaching easy prey, like people you’re not intimidated by, and just say, “hi.” Third, when you’re out socially, take deep breaths and have a cocktail, it helps!

And lastly, there’s a shyness drug called Paxtin. Ask your doctor. It’s a drug though, so be careful. Pumpkin, shyness never completely goes away but taking control of your life… is forever!

Love, Trinity

With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com.

Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

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Celebrating 40 Years of Ministry in the Low Country Spiritual Reflections

BY Rev. David Smith | Guest Contributor

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or those of us who follow Christian traditions, some of which are based on Jewish traditions, this time of year is referred to as “Lent.” It falls on the 40 days, not including Sundays, that are between Ash Wednesday, when we are reminded of our own mortality and limitations, and Easter Sunday. On Ash Wednesday, the leader marks those participating with a sign of the cross using ashes and usually says these words: “From dust you are, and to dust you will return.” Some Metropolitan Community Churches mix glitter in with the ashes to remind us that though the destination is certain, we might as well be fabulous along the way.

Lent is traditionally thought of as a time to give up something (traditionally rich foods, meat or chocolate) and for fasting, sometimes daily between sunrise and sunset, in preparation for a greater celebration.

A more contemporary understanding is that Lent is a time for inward reflection and prayer and a time to set aside some distractions to get back in touch with our spirits. I would suggest that a 40-day period to reflect and to look inward would be a good idea for anyone, religious or not. Just before Lent is Fat Tuesday or Mardi Gras, a time to celebrate, let our hair down, and party hardy. It also serves the very practical purpose as a time for

spring cleaning, emptying our kitchen pantries of rich foods including flour and lard so that we can begin again after Easter. That is the practical basis for the pancake suppers that pop up especially in rural churches at this time of year. Jewish traditions are similar as people prepare for the Passover by cleaning out foodstuffs and getting Lent is a time to reflect on oneself. ready for the journey (Photo Credit: iweta0077 via Adobe Stock) that the Passover commemorates. A springtime period of reflection and letting from distractions but also from the day-togo can be a good time for some spring day concerns for food and comfort. There cleaning, clearing out the old to make were temptations during those 40 days, room for the new. This cleaning can also but at the end of them Jesus came out include habits, people and relationships. stronger and wiser and able to do verbal They say it takes 21 days to break a habit battle with Satan him/herself. It is also or start a new discipline, so the 40 days of interesting that Jesus subjected himself Lent, plus six Sundays, should be double to the Baptism of Repentance offered by the time needed to set a new course. It is John the Baptizer. What did Jesus, often interesting to note that even Jesus began referred to as the sinless one, need to his officially documented ministry with repent? The Baptism may have been an 40 days of fasting in the wilderness away act of solidarity with all humanity, but I

also suggest that Jesus had something to let go of or turn away from before moving on into the ministry to which he was called. Up until that point Jesus had been content with being the son of a carpenter, perhaps a religious student and a member of a human family. Baptism for Jesus marked the release of these old roles, relationships and self-understandings before he was ready to move on. Even Jesus had to give up some of the comforts and security and possibly even identity to claim the role that was designed for him.

At this springtime season, I encourage you to take a time of “Lent” or whatever you’d like to call it to reset, restore and renew. Only once you take the time needed to do this important inner work can you step onto the bigger stage intended for you. : : Rev. David Smith is the pastor of The Metropolitan Community Church of Charleston, located in North Charleston, S.C. This year the congregation will be celebrating it’s 40th year meeting the spiritual needs of the LGBTQI community and those who would walk our journey of faith with us. Rev. Smith has been a clergyperson in MCC for 25 years, most of it in Baltimore, M.D. and was raised in Atlanta as a “liberal Southern Baptist.”

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Thoroughly Modern: An Interview with Catherine Cohen Actress-Turned-Poet

BY Gregg Shapiro | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

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ver the years, poetry collections have come from some unexpected writers.

Actors Ally Sheedy, James Franco, Amber Tamblyn, Viggo Mortensen and even Jimmy Stewart, as well as musicians Alicia Keys, Billy Corgan, Jill Scott and Jewel are just a few who have shared their words with us. Houston native and New York transplant, Catherine Cohen is the latest.

An actress (“High Maintenance and The Lovebirds”), comedian and podcaster (“Seek Treatment”), Cohen’s debut poetry collection “God I Feel Modern Tonight: Poems from a Gal About Town” (Knopf, 2021) has just been released.

Striking a careful balance between the poetic ,“I love sex and I love before it—/ the double vodka soda leg touch,” and the playful, “going swimming is an amazing way/to stop being on your phone,” Cohen never ceases to entertain. I spoke with Catherine shortly after the book was published.

Gregg Shapiro: Your book “God I Feel Modern Tonight” is subtitled “Poems from a Gal About Town.” Were you a gal

about town in (your native) Houston or did that come later?

Catherine Cohen: [Laughs] No, I was definitely not a gal about town. I was just at my parents’ house studying and singing musical theater alone in the shower.

CC: I was so honored. So many poets I admire are in the collection. I also felt special to get to write something about the current moment and have it out in the world so quickly.

GS: In “Poem I wrote after you ordered fried shrimp at GS: “Poem I the diner and I wrote after was like ‘gross’ Catherine Cohen. (Photo Credit: Beatrice Helman) I asked you but really I if cereal can was like ‘dang expire” was published in Alice Quinn’s that sounds good’,” from “God I Feel 2020 anthology “Together in a Sudden Modern Tonight,” you mentioned “The Strangeness: America’s Poets Respond Paris Review” and whenever I talk to or to the Pandemic.” What did it mean interview an author, I always ask them to you to have your work included in about what they are currently reading. that collection?

CC: What am I reading right now? I’m reading a great book called “We Keep the Dead Close,” by Becky Cooper. It’s part memoir and part investigative study of a murder that happened at Harvard in the ‘60s. It’s just fascinating and I’m really enjoying that. I just finished Stephanie Danler’s memoir “Stray,” which I could not put down.

I thought that was so fabulous.

GS: “God I Feel Modern Tonight” is coming out at a time when there is a sudden renewed interest in poetry because of Amanda Gorman, who read her poem “The Hill We Climb” at the Biden/Harris inauguration, and recently performed at the Super Bowl. What do you think of her as a poet and performer?

CC: I think she’s amazing. I think it’s so exciting to have so many people who wouldn’t normally be interested in poetry now paying attention to it. I think it’s really cool and I really admire her.

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GS: Have you performed the poems in “God I Feel Modern Tonight” in your acts at Joe’s Pub or Alan Cumming’s Club Cumming?

CC: Yes. I read the poems on stage a lot.

I’ve been doing that for a few years. It’s always a great way to try out new stuff. It’s a fun interlude to add some poems to the mix of songs and jokes. Yeah, I love reading them out loud.

GS: You do the “Seek Treatment” podcast with gay comic Pat Regan and perform regularly at the previously mentioned Club Cumming, which made me wonder how aware you are of your fans in the LGBTQ+ community and what they mean to you.

CC: It’s been my everything! The community at Club Cumming has given me a sense of belonging. I just feel so at peace when I’m there. I used to do the show every Wednesday, so every week I’d be stressed out and exhausted. But I’d always leave the show energized and remembering why I do what I do. It’s because of the people that work there and come to the show and Alan himself who are really kind and generous and supportive of up-and-coming acts.

GS: Do you have another book project in the works, or are there film or television projects you’d like to plug?

CC: Yes, lots of stuff in the works. I would love to do a collection of essays next. I’m developing a few other things that are still in the early stages. For now, I’m just working on the podcast and auditioning and thinking of all the things I want to do next.

GS: Finally, April is National Poetry Month. Do you have anything special planned?

CC: No, but I would love to do some kind of outdoor event if the COVID situation permits. That would be fun. It’s been really nice doing these virtual events. I’ve been really surprised at actually how fun and interactive they’ve been. But it would be really nice to celebrate in real life. So, we’ll see. : :

life

Our People: Maks Gomez Activist, Massage Therapist, Actor

BY Mykah Buff | QNOTES STAFF WRITER

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towards movement and improving that for people. I say I focus on performance, pain management and prenatal because those are three places in massage where I stand out.

I have a lot of success with people in those categories, and I feel like my identity and experiences really help support that.

aks Gomez knew at an early age that something was not right. His body was assigned female at birth. He felt out of place and unhappy with the reflection in the mirror. It was in his early thirties when he was able to reckon with the fact that he was transgender.

He is much happier today after going on hormone therapy and then having a masectomy performed by Dr. Blair Wormer with Novant Health Appel Plastic Surgery.

Gomez is living life feeling like his true self. As a husband, father, massage therapist and actor, Gomez adds activist to his list of talents. He enjoys helping his transgender massage clients and works with the Charlotte Transgender Healthcare Group.

Can you tell me about your recent genderaffirming surgery?

I had a bilateral mastectomy, commonly known as “top surgery.” I can’t even put into words the difference in how I feel without the literal weights around my neck, which also often got me labeled as a woman.

When did you begin receiving genderaffirming medical treatments and care?

I began testosterone early January of 2019, first thanks to Planned Parenthood.

How has life been since beginning your journey?

Awesome. Finding words for who I was and the reason for why I never felt right has been liberating. I am more ME than I have ever been, and I am much happier.

What are some other gender-affirming milestones that may be particularly significant to you?

A friend’s kid called me “Uncle Maks” and it made my year!

Can you tell me about your talk on how to approach trans patients who bind their chest?

I offer self-massage workshops for those who bind, in addition to consultations for specifics, but generally we discuss how the muscles between the ribs need a lot of attention when binding, due to the constant compression in addition to the shoulders and muscles involved in respiration.

What advice can you offer other trans individuals who may be considering gender-affirming care?

Find a provider that is, at minimum, affirming and open to learning from their peers. We have many who have come before us so that we can have safe and affirming care. Please use it. You’ll wish you’d started sooner.

Can you tell me about your massage business and how it came about?

I kind of fell into massage therapy. I had dropped out of college due to my health (I have Coeliac disease which was undiagnosed at the time), then had a baby.

I wanted to work again and go back to school. I went to a local place I had seen before, where they had cosmetology and other programs. The massage program was starting the next week, so I ended up enrolling. Mythic Massage is my third massage business since I graduated, and my mindset behind it has heavily been

Do you plan to revisit acting now that you’ve taken the next step in becoming yourself?

Yes! I regularly appear in shows on Facebook since the pandemic/my surgery, and it has been amazing to be back and to be seen for Me. I’m in a group called “LiveStream: Now Playing” where we perform Zoom parodies of films like Young Frankenstein and Die Hard. I am also in a biweekly international show called “Dramatis Personae: a Star Trek Read-Aloud Show,” where we act out and discuss episodes from a queer and left-leaning angle. We have raised $250 for the Transgender Law Center and now we are raising funds for Mermaids in the U.K. Both shows are on Facebook.

Tell me a little bit about your acting career?

My favorite role from before was as a gunwielding fast-talking Western girl in a web series called “Bagmen,” which sadly never aired. I’m in this film called Invasion of the Killer Cicadas, and it’s the only film I’ve been to a premiere for. It’s such a fun film,

and I just watch the girl like she’s some other actor. It’s a silly creature feature.

Plays are really difficult to make time for in my life, with a business, schoolwork and kids, but someday I’ll do them again.

In what ways are you involved in the LGBTQ community?

I’m a member of the Charlotte Gaymers group and also the Charlotte Transgender Healthcare Group. I love helping to make sure people in our community can access care that is knowledgeable and affirming.

What is your involvement with the Charlotte Transgender Healthcare Group (CTHCG)?

Last year, I was the chair of the Community Outreach and Education Committee, which didn’t leave me with a lot to do, due to the pandemic. In November, I transitioned to administration of the CTHCG COVID-19 Grant, where we have been able to provide Hormone Replacement Therapy and mental health care for some members of the community. As a group, we are looking forward to expanding offerings in the future as we apply for more grants.

What is your favorite food?

Boxed mashed potatoes. I don’t know why; they’re not fancy, but I find them very yummy and comforting.

What is your favorite color?

Yellow.

What is your and your family’s favorite restaurant?

We love Pure Pizza.

Tell me a little about your spouse and your children? How have they supported you during your journey?

My husband and my kids are my staunchest allies. My kids are the first to correct anyone who gets my pronouns wrong, as they have all adjusted with great ease. I think they can see how much more comfortable I am in general. It’s great when they make an effort to point out how “masculine” I look. : :

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