QNotes, March 20, 2020

March 20-April 2, 2020

qnotes

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qnotes

March 20-April 2, 2020

inside this issue

March 20-April 2, 2020 Vol 34 No 24

connect twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue

Mykah Buff, Jack Kirven, Lauren V. Lewis, Lainey Millen, Jesse Monteagudo, Chris Rudisill, Mark Segal, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Trinity

front page

Graphic Design by Chris Rudisill Photography: Village Hearth Cohousing Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBTQ and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBTQ life and social justice issues.

Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Managing Editor: Jim Yarbrough, x201, editor@goqnotes.com Assoc. Editor: Lainey Millen, specialassignments@goqnotes.com Copy Editor: Maria Dominguez Production: Lainey Millen, x205, production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.

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Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff.

The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

charlotteobserver.com/1166/ a local news partner of The Charlotte Observer

feature 10

Durham LGBTQ Cohousing

Small Town. Big Turnout.

news

A fundraiser for Time Out Youth Center was held in Rock Hill, S.C. and brought out the ‘drag’ in the local community with high-heeled races, performances and more.

4 Small town. Big turnout.

5 Joe Biden Wins S.C. Democratic Primary 5 Youth Essay Contest 6 S.C. Strikes Outdated Law 6 Trans Day in Court 6 News Briefs 7 Point Scholarships 7 NAGLREP Advisory Board

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a&e 13

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Out in Print: ‘Under the Rainbow’ Tell Trinity

life 8 9 9

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Nudism in North Carolina Community Gardening The Foliage is Blossoming Across the Carolinas Health & Wellness: Bananas Not Your Enemy Our People: Samis Rose

views 5 Thank Your Local

LGBTQ Newspaper

for Web Freedom 12 Legal Eagles: Divorce: Stop. Collaborate. Listen.

17 Jesse’s Journal: Presenting the Manatomy Awards

events

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Corona Virus Tips During Event Hiatus

Nudism in N.C.

Baring it all is no problem for a group of individuals who find being in the nude to be a freeing experience. A private affair on a regular basis allows participants to enjoy themselves without the restrictions of clothing, while enjoying themed parties and other celebrations.

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March 20-April 2, 2020

qnotes

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news

Small town. Big turnout.

Rock Hill Business Hosts LGBTQ Youth Fundraiser

BY Mykah Buff | QNotes Staff Writer

Stage performance of participants Lola, Michael, Brittany, Carman iCandy, Malayia Chanel Iman, DeVida, Buff Faye, Kristin Collins.

As the horn sounded at 4 p.m. signaling the cutoff time Upon retiring from her political career as a field direcfor the race, the winner, Dane Cole (a participant whose tor in Washington, Brittany Kelly began making efforts drag name was Girl Boss) crossed the finish line in just within her own local community. She is an avid LGBTQ under 19 seconds and with a broken high heel. advocate and ally and decided to utilize her and her “We only needed one bandaid after the race, which was husband’s business as a platform to promote love and a success,” said Kelly. acceptance by planning an event that she hoped would do The drag show portion of the event began at 6 p.m. just that. with a group of 48 children performing “Fight for Me” by Brittany and Michael Kelly, owners of the modern-day Gawvi and was followed by a number of the children readgeneral store in downtown Rock Hill, S.C., The Mercantile, ing statistics on bullying to the audience. hosted a drag race and drag show LGBTQ-youth fundrais“Forty-eight children got signed er on Feb. 29. The event had permission slips from their paran estimated 550 attendees ents to perform in a drag show,” and raised $2,900 for Time Kelly said. “Can we just celebrate Out Youth Center. that for a second?” she added.

The drag race portion of Following what Kelly described the event kicked off at 3:30 as “a heartwarming performance” p.m. A flock of local men from came a panel of guest speakers the community, all dressed consisting of Rock Hill School board in drag from head to toe, had member Helena Miller, Winthrop the challenge of getting as University Public Outreach and many drag dollars (false bills Community Organizer Tadean exchanged dollar for dollar) as Page and Time Out Youth Executive they could in 30 minutes.

Director Rodney Tucker.

Facing the crowd wearing Kelly said the speakers dishigh-heels of at least two cussed the impact that bullying inches high (per the game has had and continues to have, requirement), this gaggle of as well as the positive outcomes guys sashayed around doing that the Rock Hill community is everything they could think capable of accomplishing when of to wooingly inspire the The Merchantile owners Michael and Brittany Kelly they come together. audience to give more drag Miller talked on the Rock Hill dollars for their displays of school board’s zero-tolerance policy on bullying being womanhood. implemented, while Tucker discussed Time Out Youth’s “They were begging, singing and doing whatever it took resources and how the organization supports LGBTQ youth. to collect the most money,” said Brittany Kelly.

Page delivered a speech Kelly described as “motivational,” Jacob Knoll (a participant whose drag name was Big as well as conveying his passion for service to the audience.

Daddy) raked in the most with a total of $339 in drag dollars.

What came after the panel of guest speakers was Kelly said the participants ran their hearts out in one of something that Kelly said was most important to her. the fastest sprints she had ever seen from men in high-heels.

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qnotes

March 20-April 2, 2020

David Rector, Reggie Hayes, Adam Michaels and The Mercantile’s very own Michael Kelly are all businessmen in their everyday lives. But, on that night they were to be four bombshells tasked with trading in their business suits for something a little more alluring.

“These men were straight, some conservative and from all walks of life,” Kelly said. “Typically in the LGBTQ community, a straight guy is the first to bully, and I wanted to bridge that divide,” she added.

Paired with professional drag queens and put in full makeup and wardrobe, these leading ladies performed by lip-syncing to different songs while collecting drag dollars from the crowd.

The winning duo was Michael Kelly and Kristin Collins, raising $483 in just three minutes.

Throughout the night, people at the event participated in other games and activities, including a trio of dads being put in drag by volunteer children who had only one minute to complete these gentlemen’s ensembles.

For the event’s grand finale, came a showcase of performances by some of the South’s most notable drag queens; including Collins, DeVida, Malayia Chanel Iman, Carman iCandy and Buff Faye.

Kelly said the kids in the audience lit up with excitement and enthusiasm, dancing and singing along with the drag queens as they performed.

“These kids were dancing their hearts out, singing every word and reaching up on stage to touch the drag queens,” said Kelly.

“It was such a unique way to celebrate kindness, inclusiveness, tolerance and acceptance,” said Amy Applegate, an attendee of the event. “We enjoyed the kid-friendly aspect as we exposed them to a variety of people, cultures, religions and more to help inspire the kindness, tolerance and acceptance of others,” she added.

“We are thankful for the support for our organization but mostly for our youth in South Carolina,” said Tucker.

“The event was fun, yet a meaningful way to highlight issues of LGBTQ youth,” he added. : :

Joe Biden wins S.C. Democratic primary Primary Watch: Super Tuesday Showdown between Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders

BY Mykah Buff | QNotes Staff Writer

Former Vice President Joe Biden. (Photo Credit: Michael Stokes via Wikimedia Commons. CC 2.0 Generic license)

sults. Biden won 48.7 percent of the popular vote, placing him The South Carolina Democratic primary took place on first in all counties throughout South Carolina. Then came Feb. 29 and was the fourth competition of the Democratic Bernie Sanders, winning 19.8 percent of the popular vote. primaries for the 2020 presidential election. Sixty-three The remaining candidates did not get enough votes to redelegates were awarded to the 2020 Democratic National ceive any delegates. And following the primary election in South Convention, 54 of which were allocated based on the outCarolina, candidates Pete Buttigieg, Amy Klobuchar and Tom come of the primary results.

Steyer all dropped out of the Democratic presidential race.

Former Vice President Joe Biden won the South Carolina Voters from 14 states made their way Democratic presidential primary, making it to the polls for Super Tuesday, which fell his first victory of the 2020 campaign, as well on March 3. This day is known for being a as marking the first time for him to win a vital part of the primaries and evolved into primary of his three presidential runs, which a two-man competition between Biden and were 1988, 2008 and the current 2020.

Sanders.

Following Biden’s victory in South With Biden’s victory in South Carolina, Carolina, he delivered a speech from his he went into Super Tuesday with ample moheadquarters in South Carolina. mentum and established himself as a clear “Just days ago the press and the pundits competitor to Bernie Sanders. had declared this candidacy dead,” said Of the 14 states who voted on Super Biden. “Now, thanks to all of you ― the heart Tuesday, including Virginia, Alabama, of the Democratic Party ― we just won, and Arkansas, Massachusets, Minnesota, North we’ve won big. We won big, and we won Sen. Bernie Sanders. (Photo Carolina, Oklahoma, Tennesee and Texas, because of you. We are very much alive.”

Credit: Jackson Lanier via Biden won 10 with at least 15 percent of the Aside from Biden, Sen. Bernie Sanders Wikimedia Commons. CC SA-4 vote in every state, securing delegates along was the only other candidate to earn stateInternational license) the way. : : wide delegates according to the primary re-

Thank your local LGBTQ newspaper for web freedom Op-Ed

BY Mark Segal | Guest Contributor The Philadelphia Gay News (PGN) most likely had a major effect on your life that you may not even know about.

Do you use the web and enjoy how free it is? You can thank PGN. Recently, as I went to a gala to celebrate the ACLU, I was reminded about our fight to keep the Internet open for discussion and free speech — a fight that went all the way to the Supreme Court.

It sounds like a big claim, but here’s the background on the case, which most lawyers will know well. In 1998, Congress was getting worried about the freewheeling Internet. The net began its move from an interesting invention in 1989 to popular common use just nine years later. By 2002, almost every part of society was active on the Internet, and as a form of free speech, citizens began openly criticizing elected officials. Conservative members

also worried, how newspapers like this one — ones which, for example, give safe sex information for LGBTQ people — reached America’s youth.

The main conservative argument to limit and censor the Internet was called “The Child Online Protection Act.” And the reason for its title was that they claimed that children were encouraged to view pornography. The legislation passed in Congress and President [Bill] Clinton signed it into law. But think about it: if a person in Alabama objected to their gay child viewing the PGN’s website, they could use the law to get PGN’s website shut down in the entire nation.

The ACLU sued and brought PGN in as one of the plaintiffs in Plaintiff vs. President William Clinton and The United States of America, and PGN’s case was simple. Yes,

we wanted to reach young people and older people with information that will save their lives, including safe sex information. Soon enough, it reached the Supreme Court.

Most people don’t get a chance to go to the Supreme Court suing the president and Congress. Sitting there defending PGN and freedom of speech was a humbling experience.

The New York Times editorial showed how PGN’s part in the case was instrumental to winning, and we eventually did.

Next time you’re on the web, thank your local LGBTQ newspaper, because we kept the Internet open and free. : : Mark Segal is an award-winning commentator in LGBTQ media. His memoir “And Then I Danced,” was named best book

by National Lesbian Gay Journalist Association.

Youth essay contest submissions sought Winner to Receive Cash Prize

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GBTQ young people sometimes face risks because of their identities, but there are also rewards that come from being different. In honor of those young people at the forefront of the LGBTQ community, qnotes and Time Out Youth are hosting the 2020 Youth Essay Contest and seeking essay submissions from youth aged 13-20 years old.

Have you always wanted to be a voice for the community? Aspiring writers are asked to respond to the following prompt. What does being an LGBTQ individu-

By Chris Rudisill | QNOTES CONTRIBUTOR al mean to you? In 500-1,000 words, essays should discuss the way you identify, and what you do to remain true to yourself despite social pressure. Consider the support you have and the resources you wish you had.

What inspires you to own your identity? What results from being honest with yourself and others? Don’t be afraid to be narrative and tell your story. Be honest, be proud and be creative.

To submit an essay, email entries to chrisrudisill @goqnotes.com with the subject line “Youth Essay

Submission.” Please include biographical information in the body of the email including your name, age, hometown and how you identify in terms of sexual orientation and gender identity. Stories can focus on the entire LGBTQ community, or can focus on the experience of singular sub-communities within LGBTQ identities.

Deadline for submissions is March 26 at 5 p.m.

The winning essay will receive a $50 cash prize and will be published in qnotes’ April 3 issue focused on LGBTQ youth. : :

March 20-April 2, 2020

qnotes

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news

BRIEFS S.C. strikes outdated law

CHARLESTON, S.C. — The U.S. District Court for the District of South Carolina entered a consent decree that has declared South Carolina’s 1988 discriminatory anti-LGBTQ curriculum law unconstitutional and bars its enforcement. The court’s decree comes two weeks after a federal lawsuit was filed on behalf of the high school student organization Gender and Sexuality Alliance, as well as the Campaign for Southern Equality (CSE) and South Carolina Equality Coalition (SCEC), including their members who are public school students in South Carolina. The statute prohibited any discussion of same-sex relationships in health education in public schools except in the context of sexually transmitted diseases. The lawsuit was filed by the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR) and Lambda Legal, along with private counsel Womble Bond Dickinson, Brazil & Burke, and law professor Clifford Rosky.

“I am very excited that this discriminatory law can no longer be enforced in South Carolina, and I hope we can continue to work toward a more accepting and equal state-wide community,” said Eli Bundy (pictured left in the center), a 10th grader who is the president of the Gender and Sexuality Alliance (GSA), an organization of high school students at a public magnet school in the Charleston County School District. “I know how frustrating it can feel to be told by a teacher that they can’t talk about who you are. I’m so grateful that no other South Carolina student will have to go through school feeling like they have been erased.”

The lawsuit, Gender and Sexuality Alliance v. Spearman, alleged that S.C. Code § 59-32-30(A)(5), a provision of the South Carolina’s 1988 Comprehensive Health Education Act, violated the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution by discriminating against students who are LGBTQ. The statute prohibited districts from including in their health education any “discussion of alternate sexual lifestyles from heterosexual relationships including, but not limited to, homosexual relationships except in the context of instruction concerning sexually transmitted diseases.”

The law singled out LGBTQ students for negative treatment and did not impose any comparable restrictions on health education about heterosexual people. Any teacher who violated the provision was subject to dismissal. The South Carolina attorney general had recently issued an opinion that a court would likely find the law unconstitutional. In response to a motion by the parties in the case, the court agreed the discriminatory law violated the equal protection requirement of the U.S. Constitution and barred state officials from continuing to enforce the law any longer.

“In South Carolina, people across the political and ideological spectrum understand that no one should be excluded because of their LGBTQ identity. We have common ground in the shared goal of ensuring that all students are safe, respected, and supported in school,” said Kevin Hall, office managing partner at Womble Bond Dickinson based in Columbia, S.C. “This court order means that we can put this clearly unconstitutional 32-year-old law behind us, and it marks a new day for LGBTQ students here, who can now go to school without the stigma that this law cast over them. My hat’s off to the courageous students in South Carolina who spoke out against this damaging law.”

The lawsuit is the latest constitutional challenge to anti-LGBTQ curriculum laws, which still remain in a handful of states. In 2019, a lawsuit in Arizona brought by NCLR, Lambda Legal, Rosky, and private counsel led to the state legislature repealing the challenged law. In 2017, the Utah legislature repealed similar state laws following a 2016 lawsuit brought by NCLR and private counsel.

Students in states with discriminatory curriculum laws report more hostile school climates. 2017 data from GLSEN’s National School Climate Survey surveying LGBTQ middle and high school students demonstrates that South Carolina schools are not safe for most LGBTQ students; nearly 90 percent said they regularly heard homophobic remarks, and LGBTQ students reported that in the last year, 76 percent experienced verbal harassment, 34 percent experienced physical harassment, and 14 percent were The decree can be read at bit.ly/2xHmlNs. info: southernequality.org. lambdalegal.org. nclrights.org.

— Compiled by Lainey Millen

N.C.’s trans employees, family members to have day in court NEW YORK, N.Y. — A U.S. District Court judge denied North Carolina state officials’ request to dismiss a lawsuit filed last March challenging North Carolina’s blanket exclusion of medically-necessary, transitionrelated healthcare from the state’s employee health plan. In the lawsuit, Lambda Legal and Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund (TLDEF) represent several current and former state employees and their children who were denied coverage under the plan.

“Today we are one step closer to justice and ensuring that North Carolina stops depriving transgender employees and family members access to essential health care services,” said Tara Borelli, counsel at Lambda Legal. “We are pleased that the court recognized that this exclusion is sex discrimination, plain and simple, which ensures that the plaintiffs will get to have their day in court.”

The ruling states in part: “Discrimination is not always obvious. A policy may appear facially neutral, but nonetheless be discriminatory by design or applied in a discriminatory fashion. … Plaintiffs argue that that is the case here, … and the Court agrees. … The characteristics of sex and gender are directly implicated; it is impossible to refer to the Exclusion without referring to them. … In short, the Exclusion facially discriminates on the basis of gender, and heightened scrutiny applies.”

Notwithstanding the fallout North Carolina suffered after enacting anti-transgender bills HB2 and HB142, some state officials continued to take aim at transgender individuals. In 2016, an independent consulting company advised state officials that the ban should be removed to comply with the Affordable Care Act’s non-discrimination mandate. The next year in 2017, the state removed the exclusion from the North Carolina State Health Plan (NCSHP). However, just one year later, in 2018, newly elected State Treasurer Dale Folwell delivered on his campaign promise to eradicate transition-related coverage, and a blanket exclusion was reinstated. The exclusion is sweeping, denying the transgender state employees and transgender dependents coverage for any medically necessary transition-related health care, from surgery to hormone therapy.

The seven plaintiffs represented in this lawsuit are: Max Kadel, a transgender man employed by the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill; Julia McKeown, a transgender woman who teaches at North Carolina State University; Jason Fleck, an employee of the University of North Carolina at Greensboro, and his transgender son, Connor; Michael D. Bunting, Jr., retired employee of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and former associate athletic director for facility planning and management, and his transgender son, C.B.; and Sam Silvaine, a former North Carolina State University employee with a male affirmed sex.

In the lawsuit, Lambda Legal and TLDEF argue that North Carolina officials are violating the Equal Protection Clause of the U.S. Constitution, Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972, and the non-discrimination provision of the Affordable Care Act, by unlawfully discriminating based on sex and transgender status.

All mainstream medical associations, including the American Medical Association and the American Psychological Association, recognize that transition-related care can be medically necessary and life-saving. The AMA and other medical organizations have called for an end to discriminatory exclusions of transition-related medical care from public and private health insurance policies.

Tara Borelli and Omar Gonzalez-Pagan are the attorneys handling this case for Lambda Legal with Noah Lewis from the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund (TLDEF), and Amy E. Richardson, Lauren Snyder, and Deepika Ravi of Harris Wiltshire & Grannis LLP. info: lambdalegal.org.

— Compiled by Lainey Millen

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qnotes

March 20-April 2, 2020

Prisoner being denied surgery

Indy Week has reported that Kanautica Zayre-Brown, an inmate at Anson Correctional Institution in Polkton, N.C., is being denied gender confirmation surgery. She “has asked the DPS [N.C. Department of Public Safety] to either provide her with vaginoplasty — the final surgery she views as necessary for her gender transition — or create a path where she can use her own resources to finance the procedure. According to Zayre-Brown, both requests have been repeatedly denied, even though they’ve been medically prescribed.”

info: bit.ly/2WfjvJO.

N.C. native competes on ‘Drag Race’ “RuPaul’s Drag Race” includes a contestant from North Carolina in the show’s 12th season. Heidi N’ Closet, from Randolph County, is 25-year-old Trevien Anthonie Cheek who was raised in Ramseur and now lives in Trinity, The Fayetteville Observer reported.

info: bit.ly/2TQGIQG.

BIGOTRY Web creator concern

Sir Tim Berners-Lee, the person who is credited with creating the world wide web, has expressed his concern about anti-LGBTQ bigotry and bullying that is being expressed online, Gay Times reported. He went on to say, ““Tackling online gender inequality will be a core priority for the Web Foundation through 2020 and beyond.

info: bit.ly/33lB4Jv.

Raleigh center vandalized

The LGBT Center of Raleigh filed a police report when they found anti-LGBTQ stickers on the doors of the establishment, thus resulting in defacing the property, LGBTQ Nation reported. The hate-filled messages placed there by the white supremacist group Hundred Handers included one that said: “GAY PRIDE, 1-2 percent of the population, 67 percent of HIV diagnoses, 1/3rd of child molesters, 60 percent of syphilis infections, [and] 52 percent are non-monogamous.” The center attributes the “desecration” due to the new Drag Queen Story Hour that began in June 2019. This was the second time the center was harmed.

info: bit.ly/3d2Aghe.

Minister volunteers as escort

Christian News has reported that an American Baptist Church minister, Michael Usey who leads LGBTQ-friendly College Park Baptist Church in Greensboro, N.C., has been volunteering as an escort at A Woman’s Choice abortion clinic.

info: bit.ly/38Pvz73.

Council repeals resolution

Earlier this month, the Greenville County Council (S.C.) adopted a resolution to sunset all resolutions older than four years — including a resolution from 1996 that defamed members of the local LGBTQ community. The 1996 resolution declared that LGBTQ people somehow violated the standards of the community and has long been seen as an antiquated form of government-sponsored animus.

The Campaign for Southern Equality applauded advocates in Greenville who pushed for an end to the resolution.

info: southernequality.org.

Church elects pastor

Metropolitan Community Church of Charlotte has elected Rev. Paul Whiting as its permanent pastor.

info: mymcccharlotte.org.

Point Foundation expands scholarship program LOS ANGELES, Calif. — The Point Foundation announced the expansion of its community college scholarship program. A new multi-year grant will give Point the ability to offer “the next generation of LGBTQ leaders” two-years of financial support at community colleges. Applications are now open for the program which also includes targeted one-on-one coaching and leadership development.

Community college students represent 40 percent of the country’s undergraduate population. However, due to financial burdens, only slightly more than one third of those students are able to obtain a degree from a two- or four-year college within six years of enrollment.

“Whether it is a lack of funds, obligations to employment, or the care of a family member, we know of many situations that keep young LGBTQ students from reaching their academic goals,” said Point Foundation Executive Director and CEO Jorge Valencia.

“When you include the increased adversity and isolation that often accompany being a member of the LGBTQ community, two-year financial support becomes a central component to ensuring all students can thrive.”

Point’s community college scholarship is awarded to LGBTQ students who have a goal of completing a degree and demonstrated potential to grow into leaders in their communities. Recipients receive a financial award and are paired with a coach who helps them work toward personal and academic goals. Point also hosts scholarship recipients for an annual symposium where they can learn from experts on a variety of topics, including job placement, transfer student admissions, financial aid, and self care.

The community college program has seen more than 80 percent of its community college scholarship recipients report successful admission to four year colleges or universities throughout the country, including the University of California, Los Angeles, Columbia University and the University of Mississippi, the organization shared.

“Since our 2016 launch, we learned that a longer financial commitment was a central pillar changing the outcome for LGBTQ students entering community college,” Valencia added. “Thanks to a generous gift, we are now able to expand our program and are confident that our new two-year community college program will empower and fuel the future for many talented LGBTQ students.”

To apply to for the Point Foundation community college scholarship, visit bit. ly/38TF0T4. info: pointfoundation.org.

— Compiled by Lainey Millen

NAGLREP launches LGBT advisory group JUPITER, Fla. — The National Association of Gay and Lesbian Real Estate Professionals (NAGLREP) has announced the launch of its LGBT Mortgage Advisory Group to represent the interests of LGBTQ home buyers and mortgage professionals focusing on advocacy, education and empowerment.

Kimber White, president elect of the National Association of Mortgage Brokers (NAMB), serves as the group’s chair. In October, White will become the first openly gay president in NAMB’s 47-year history. Valerie Saunders, executive director of the NAMB, is the LGBT Mortgage Advisory Group co-chair.

The group will work to create policy toward ending discrimination in any phase of the mortgage process. It will also identify opportunities to increase the LGBTQ homeownership rate which Freddie Mac reports at 49 percent, below the national figure of 65 percent. Additionally the group will work to showcase the lending industry as a viable career for LGBTQ individuals.

“NAGLREP has done an incredible job in raising awareness of the challenges LGBTs face in their pursuit of homeownership and obviously discrimination remains a leading barrier to entry,” White said. “I’ve been really pleased with how the lending industry has supported NAGLREP over the years. This is the next step. We believe NAGLREP’s lending partners can play a vital role in making the lending process easier for LGBTs while also identifying areas of business opportunities.”

White pointed out that researchers at Iowa State University’s Ivy College of Business recently found same-sex mortgage loan applicants were 73 percent more likely to be denied a loan than heterosexual couples. Additionally, despite no evidence that same-sex couples had higher default rates, same-sex couples paid more in fees and interest.

“The Iowa State study and the recent Newsday expose that showcased unequal treatment of minorities raised a lot of eyebrows in the real estate industry about ongoing discrimination,” NAGLREP founder Jeff Berger said. “The National Association of Realtors has been a great partner and recently launched its Multicultural Real Estate Leadership Taskforce to address housing discrimination. Our new LGBT Mortgage Advisory Group is another addition to NAGLREP’s advocacy work that should add greatly to the industry’s efforts.”

NAGLREP corporate partners Freddie Mac, Bank of America, Sun Trust, Wells Fargo, TD Bank, Prime Lending, Union Bank, US Bank, Quicken Loans and OnQFinancial, among others, are expected to participate in the LGBT Mortgage Advisory Group’s initial meeting at NALGREP’s LGBT Housing Policy Summit on April 28-29 at the Human Rights Campaign’s Equality Center in Washington, D.C. info: naglrep.com.

— Compiled by Lainey Millen

March 20-April 2, 2020

qnotes

7

life

Nudism in North Carolina 13 Questions with North Carolina Naturists Member, Roy

BY Mykah Buff | QNotes Staff Writer Roughly, how many of your members of NCN are LGBTQ? I’ll just say that every member is accepting of everyone. We don’t ask or care if a potential, new member is LGBTQ, married, single, divorced, purple or polka-dotted. We care that they are a good person who enjoys and values the lifestyle. When everyone is nude... everyone is the same and equal.

Describe some of your customs and/or rituals. Is there anything unique about your organization that comes to mind that might differ from other naturist/nudist organizations or groups, aside from NCN not being a landed club?

The one big custom is that we are nude (I know… Captain Obvious). Some ladies will wear a sheer sarong, but most enjoy being nude. Many men will wear a wide-brimmed hat to keep shoulders from burning. We usually have a potluck-style lunch where the host lets everyone know what they will make and others will compliment that meal with a side dish or dessert. No other customs aside from being polite and not getting carried away if one is having an adult beverage.

What do you consider to be the cornerstone of your organization? What, most of all, does NCN represent?

The freedom of being nude with people that enjoy the nudist lifestyle and having a safe place to gather and meet socially with those friends.

Nudist hosts entertain their guests at parties where baring it all is liberating for those who are members of the group.

(Photo Credit: Nomad_Soul via Adobe Stock)

H

ave you ever thought about going to a social gathering wearing absolutely nothing? That’s right, being completely nude while mingling with friends over cocktails and hors d’oeuvres. Well, for naturists, also referred to as nudists, this is quite the norm.

Naturism, or nudism, which are used interchangeably, defines the practice of being nude, particularly in social settings. While being naked in front of a group of friends may seem a bit unorthodox to some, it is a practice in which many North Carolinians partake.

According to The Naturist Society (naturistsociety.com), an American naturist organization that also publishes a quarterly periodical called Nude & Natural, the social nudity that encompasses naturism is liberating and promotes self-acceptance as well as the acceptance of others.

“Body acceptance is the idea, nude recreation is the way,” says The Naturist Society.

The North Carolina Naturists (NCN) are a nudist group composed mainly of members from the Charlotte and Greensboro area. Formed in 1981, NCN’s primary reason for organizing was to provide local nudists with an outlet to network and to go hiking in the Blue Ridge Mountains.

At the time, there were other organizations but were landed clubs, which require a substantial fee and are known for being more family-oriented. qnotes was able to speak with Roy, a member of NCN, to learn a little bit about the naturist lifestyle here in North Carolina. Being a somewhat private person, Roy prefers to keep his last name anonymous for this story.

what is it to you?

NCN is a group of nudists that enjoy the company of other nudists, so we try and get together at least once a month.

When the weather is nice we have our events outdoors and when it cools down too much we come inside.

How long have you been a member of NCN? I joined NCN in 2011 through a mutual nudist I met online.

What’s the ratio of male to female members? List any minorities within NCN. I’d have to say about 60-40, as with many landed clubs, there usually seems to be more male participants than women.

Give a brief description of NCN in your own words.

Aside from the obvious aspects of your organization,

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What motivated you to become a member? Had you had prior exposure to the naturist lifestyle? If so, for how long?

My motive was to be a part of a small group that enjoyed the same thing I did — being nude and relaxing in the company of others that liked that lifestyle. I had belonged to a small club for about eight years near Raleigh, N.C. and hoped to find another club.

Describe one of your most memorable experiences at an NCN gathering? It doesn’t have to be anything out of the norm, just something that you consider meaningful to you.

It had to be the afternoon I told the club members my husband and I had gotten married, everyone toasted to that news.

Roughly, how many members does NCN have?

We have about 30 members in the club with membership slowly growing. Ages range from the mid-30s to 80s. Most live close or in Charlotte, N.C., but we do have members as far as Greensboro and Hickory, N.C. and even near Clemson, S.C.

Does NCN have a mission statement, motto or mantra? Any core beliefs or philosophies?

Hmmm, good question... if any motto, “Life is too short, get naked.” The golden rule is to be kind too.

Describe some of the locations and environments where your gatherings take place. Do you have any special amenities? Do your gatherings ever have special themes or celebrate certain holidays?

We will have themed events around some holidays. Dressing up is optional since we are all nude. Halloween can be interesting, as well as a small gag-gift exchange at Christmas. We have had afternoon and evening gatherings, card nights and even a ‘“wear your favorite hat day.” We meet at club members’ homes since we are a non-landed club and don’t have a central meeting location. Some homes have hot tubs, a pool, fish ponds and beautiful gardens to stroll through and just relax and enjoy the serenity of it all.

How does one become a member of NCN? Does NCN have any kind of screening or vetting process or application for membership? Dues, fees, other contributions?

Aside from the still-in-progress website, membership is by word of mouth. Members can and will bring a friend that may be interested in the lifestyle to an event. If the guest is still interested then membership can be offered. If interest is through the website, one of the board of directors will meet with in person, in public or their home, to answer any questions they may have regarding the club. The first thing we do tell them is that it is NOT a swingers group or club. It is strictly a social club. Annual dues are very inexpensive and if you host an event your dues are reduced.

Is being a naturist something you keep private or are discreet about in your everyday life? If so, why? Is this something that varies widely or is there more of a general consensus among members?

Discretion is important and I think most members would agree. However, if someone asks me, I would tell them I am a nudist the same if I were to tell them I’m gay and married. : :

Community Gardening A Nourishing Project for the Body and Soul

BY Jack Kirven | QNotes Contributing Writer

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f you’re going to start gardening, get ready soon! Planting day is April 15, and you’ll want to be prepared with all your seeds, sprouts, materials and tools. But what if you don’t have a yard, or even a patio or balcony?

Community gardens have existed in the United States for decades, but in the past they were more commonly thought of as a purely bonding experience amongst neighbors. Lately they have become part of the phenomenon described by MoneyCrashers.com as The Sharing Economy (bit.ly/2QdxfAS). In today’s economic and cultural climate, however, they take on even more significance as bulwarks against urban blight and food deserts.

These situations can be especially hard for the underprivileged, because many large grocery chains simply refuse to operate locations in areas where they perceive an inability to maximize profits. There are exceptions with the grocers, but the general rule is that the poor are starved for more than money. It is a demonstrable fact that poverty is a cycle that eats its own: Children born into poverty have a difficult time escaping. Poor access to education is one issue, but even where there are schools, hungry brains simply cannot concentrate or learn.

Beyond the access to fresh produce, community gardens’ other advantages include more active, healthy lifestyles; cleaner environments; stronger relationships; and educational opportunities. Although they require significant investment in terms of time and physical work, community gardens encourage exposure to fresh air, exercise and nutritious food.

Before you undertake a large project like this (and it is a large project), there are certain logistics you must first address. There will almost invariably be city zoning permits required. Gardens are also expensive to start, so finding a grant of some kind is probably going to be essential. If you prefer to join a garden that already exists, you can search for one nearby at The American Community Gardening Association (ACGA) (bit.ly/2wTqyNG).

But what if there aren’t any near you, or the waiting list is several years long? ACGA also has a resource page

with a great deal of information for creating your own (bit. ly/2TYXSus). Community gardens come in many sizes, but one of the most famous and most ambitious is the Clinton Community Garden in Manhattan (clintongarden.org). It was founded 40 years ago, and is so successful that it has become a 501(c)(3) with a board of directors and codified bylaws. It is the first community garden in the country to receive permanent greenway park status. If you are curious how something like that might eventually look for your own project, you can see their bylaws on their site (bit.ly/3cXONe4).

That might look like an overwhelming undertaking when just starting out, but the point is that community gardening has the potential to radically improve otherwise unused property within a neighborhood. Prior to getting zoning or permitting information, you should first speak with your neighbors. See how many people might be interested in sharing in the duties, chores, upkeep, research, management and costs. If this is to be a collaboration, include others in the start up to make sure they are invested in it with you.

Some resources on the web to help you get started include The Master Gardener Program (bit.ly/3cXONe4), as well as Michelle Obama’s signature nutrition program, Let’s Move (bit.ly/2UhM46T).

A very informative podcast for gardening that is updated nearly daily is called Epic Gardening (bit. ly/2WdMHRg). It has dozens of short, topical episodes that provide wisdom and advice from a master gardener.

There is a companion book for the podcast called “Field Guide to Urban Gardening: How to Grow Plants, No Matter Where You Live: Raised Beds - Vertical Gardening - Indoor Edibles - Balconies and Rooftops - Hydroponics.” It can be purchased in electronic or physical format on amazon.com (amzn.to/2U6j29Y).

The podcast episode dedicated to community gardening offers some considerations, so that you go into your ambitious new plan with open eyes. This won’t be all roses, so it’s best to be prepared. The host mentioned the

possibility of waitlists 3-5 years long. It is common that people almost never give up their plot until they literally pass away. Also, if you choose to join a pre-exisiting garden, there will likely be lots of rules and regulations that are managed by a board. There may also be internal politics, and invariably there will be a wide variety of personalities. You will be expected to attend monthly meetings, and you will have to help with chores like composting, cleaning and weeding. Your plot is part of a larger whole, and part of being in a community atmosphere is participating in it.

There are advantages and compromises regardless of whether you join a garden or create one. Do you want to do the leg work of managing it in order to have greater control over it? Or do you prefer to join an established organization with the understanding that you will have to follow rules created by someone else?

Ultimately, community gardens tend to be valuable assets, despite the work and responsibilities involved. They foster something even more valuable than the resources they require. Farm-to-table fruits and vegetables, closer relationships with your neighbors, a sense of pride in your neighborhood, as well as learning and teaching, all combine to generate an amenity that nourishes not just bodies, but beings.

Also, courtesy of ApartmentGuide.com (bit. ly/2IQwMjP), here are some important points of etiquette: • Don’t steal vegetables.

• Do stick with low maintenance plants.

•D on’t throw shade — growing tall plants steals sunlight from others’ plots.

• Do make sure you can commit to it.

•D on’t use unapproved pesticides or fertilizers.

•D o keep your walkway around your plot tidy.

• Don’t let kids and pets run wild.

•D o offer to water others’ plots while they’re away.

• Don’t let weeds grow. : :

The foliage is blossoming across the Carolinas Outdoor Gardens Welcome Visitors in Search of Nature’s Colors

S

By Lainey Millen | QNotes Staff Writer

pring has sprung (actually, it’s been doing that for a while, but it has not been official until now). With unseasonably warm weather as early as mid-January and climate changes, the Carolinas have been witnessing peeks of yellow, fucshia, pink and more, announcing the advent of the equinox.

So, with warmer weather ahead, it’s time to escape winter’s and coronavirus’ confinement to explore nature’s environs and enjoy garden walks at some of the area’s most popular destinations. Visitors can walk along paths, stopping to admire select species and enjoy the quiet and peace that each garden has to share.

A list of some of them are included below, that may serve to inspire or spark ideas for planting a garden or landscaping at one’s home.

Biltmore Gardens 1 Lodge St., Asheville, NC 28803, 800-411-3812. biltmore.com.

Historic Rosedale Plantation 3427 N. Tryon St., Charlotte, NC 28206, 704-335-0325. historicrosedale.org.

Mary DBT Semans Gardens The Duke Mansion, 400 Hermitage Rd. Charlotte, NC 28207, 704-714-4400. dukemansion.com.

McGill Rose Garden 940 N. Davidson St., Charlotte, NC 28206, 704-578-2072. mcgillrosegardenevents.com.

North Carolina Botanical Garden 100 Old Mason Farm Rd., CB 3375, Totten Center, Chapel Hill, NC 27599, 919-962-0522. ncbg.unc.edu.

Brookgreen Gardens 1931 Brookgreen Garden Dr., Murrells Inlet, SC 29576, 843-235-6000. brookgreen.org.

Reynolda Gardens Wake Forest University, 100 Reynolda Village, Winston-Salem, NC 27106, 336-758-5593. reynoldagardens.org.

Daniel Stowe Botanical Garden 6500 S. New Hope Rd., Belmont, NC 28012, 704-825-4490. dsbg.org.

Sarah P. Duke Gardens 426 Anderson St., Box 90341, Durham, NC 27708, 919-684-3698. gardens.duke.edu.

Davidson College Arboretum (450-acre campus national arboretum) 405 N. Main St., Davidson, NC 28035, 704-894-2119. bit.ly/2W4iLE3.

The University of North Carolina at Charlotte Botanical Gardens (includes outdoor gardens as well as McMillan Greenhouse) 9090 Craver Rd., Charlotte, NC 28262, 704-687-0721. gardens.uncc.edu.

Greensboro Botanical Gardens 1101 Hobbs Rd., Greensboro, NC 27410, 336-373-5888. greensborobeautiful.org.

Wing Haven Garden & Bird Sanctuary 260 Ridgewood Ave., Charlotte, NC 28209, 704-331-0664. winghavengardens.org.

March 20-April 2, 2020

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LGBTQ Cohousing in Durham An Intentional Plan for Living Together Opens This Spring

By Chris Rudisill | QNOTES CONTRIBUTing Writer

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being mutually supn a series of investigaportive was appealing.” tive stories, qnotes is As a single person, examining solutions she’s a self-identified around the country that introvert — something could positively impact afthat is common among fordable housing oppormany of VHC’s future tunities in Charlotte, with residents. “It’s actually the specific interests of really good for introLGBTQ people in mind. verts,” she says. “In One such concept is cohousing, you get to cohousing, defined as know each other rather “community designed to well. Instead of cocktail foster connection” by the party conversations, Cohousing Association you can have deeper of the United States. conversations if you These communities want, and it’s about often feature common being able to balgrounds where neighbors ance community and can easily interact with privacy.” each other, and shared Rev. Christopher spaces like kitchens, dinRoss and his partner, ing spaces and gardens Allan Keech, also joined where residents, while the project in 2015 living in private homes, when it was just an can create collaborative idea. During my visit, I living and management of toured their new home. their own communities.

Ross wrote about the Somewhat surprisingly, community in “Home is the first and only LGBTQ Where the Hearth Is” in cohousing commuqnotes earlier this year. nity in the country, Village “It was not something Hearth Cohousing (VHC) we set out to do,” says is located at the back of Ross. Both Ross and the Eno Trace neighborKeech also identify as hood of Durham, N.C. just introverts. After leaving 15 minutes from Duke New York, they bought University and Downtown. a 58-acre property in The community, which rural Virginia. “It was will be completed this a romantic notion,” spring, does not qualify remembers Ross, but as affordable housing in he couldn’t stand the most scenarios with prices Cohousing with a community of LGBTQ seniors provides for a unique way to live in place. (Photo Credit: Village Hearth Cohousing) isolation. They would ranging from $299,000 often drive 120-miles to $409,000, but there professionals, other residents, and even their own family round trip to Durham are striking factors in the members.” Forty-eight percent of older, same-sex couples for social connection or needed services. Nature was concept that could easily be adapted to communities of have experienced housing discrimination, according to the important for Allan, and Christopher wanted more any economic demographic. Kathryn McCamant, founder organization’s research. Safe and affordable housing is social interaction. “This was a good compromise for us,” of CoHousing Solutions, often talks about the environment one of the biggest issues facing the community today. says Ross. In a recent article, he refers to Dona McNeil, and social sustainability that can be appealing to comMcAuley and Roesch enlisted the help of cohousing another member of VHC who “commented that while our munities exploring the idea. “That’s what is really exciting experts McCamant and Charles Durrett, who introduced front doors are a mere 40 feet apart, cohousing is not about the cohousing concept is you can adapt it to these the concept to the U.S. in 1988 after extensive study in about being in each other’s faces. It’s about having each very different situations,” says McCamant.

Denmark. The idea was to create 28 homes on 15 acres, other’s backs.”

For Margaret Roesch and Pat McAuley, who moved to with a 2,600-square foot Common House. According to “I lived in, I don’t know how many, different neighborDurham in the early 1990s, the idea for VHC came from a their brochure, VHC will hoods in New York, brownstones that were carved up into beach trip where they would include “an amazing group apartments and high-rises,” says Ross. “You could walk out regularly share a large house of people who bring a vast of your door into the hallway and there would be a door with other friends. Roesch array of interests, talents right across the hallway from you and never know who remembers them saying and experiences to share.” lives there.” excitedly “We should do this Roesch and McAuley when we retire — we could personally invested in the all have a big house.” As property in Eno Trace in August 2015, after looking at over they began to talk about their dream, they soon realized 275 real estate listings. Many cohousing projects across that any concept of a shared house was a little too much After the Vietnam war, groups of Americans moved the country get launched, but take years to develop or and too close. They searched for solutions and found a away from cities to form communes or communal-type never come to fruition. There are currently over 200 projregional conference in Boulder, Colo. that was showcasfarms, including lesbians who were disenchanted by both ects in the United States. One thing they did different from ing the cohousing concept in 2014. As LGBTQ older adults, the emerging women’s liberation and gay rights moveother groups was to get the land first. It took six months. they wanted to make sure they could age in place and in a ments. Groups like the Hawk Hill Community Land Trust “Just go with it,” McCamant told them. “You’re building this space where they could be themselves. “Being proactive so and “Womyn’s land” created closed-off communities community on this land. Who wants to come with you?” that we can make our own decisions rather than someone that had their own support and hierarchical structures I met some of the future residents recently in Durham making a decision for us in a crisis — that’s really what this and were women-centered. Male-centered groups like to find out why the concept was appealing to them. was about,” says McAuley. the Radical Faeries formed “sanctuaries” in places like Linda Hobbet joined the project on the same day LGBTQ older adults face many additional challenges Short Mountain, Tenn. which remains home to the oldest Roesch and McAuley found the property. She lived in in finding supportive, or even safe, housing. Services and planned community for LGBTQ people in the country.

Athens, Ga. prior to moving to Durham and had previousAdvocacy for LGBTQ Elders (SAGE), reports that many ly heard of cohousing. “I joined the project pretty early,” LGBTQ older adults “face harassment and intimidation she says. “The whole idea of knowing your neighbors and see next page u in their homes or in long-term care settings from aging

It’s Not a Commune

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Eleanor Anasar, another future resident of VHC was originally from Montréal, Quebec in Canada and moved to Durham from Los Angeles, Calif. to join the project in 2018. “I knew I needed community,” says Anasar. After losing a partner who had long-term Alzheimer’s disease, she was seeking out cohousing, but wasn’t sure that a project in Durham would work for her. “Obviously, I had my concerns. It’s just a great place to live. I found the community that I really love,” says Anasar.

A Model to Explore

costs down. The Common House also includes a community kitchen and canning area, large dining room, laundry facilities, fitness center, an arts and crafts room and a large outdoor common area.

Crystal Farmer has organized Charlotte Cohousing Community to support the development of such intentional communities around the city. According to a recent article in City Lab, University of North Carolina at Charlotte professor Robert Boyer who is working with Farmer on issues of diversity in cohousing, has done research showing that the concept appeals to a wide range of demographic groups.

VHC relied on the ability of McAuley and Rausch to do the foundation work for the project, including purchasing the land. It took them 13 months working with a civil engineer and thousands of dollars to move through the zoning process. “Within that (Durham) zoning, you can’t cluster the homes,” says McAuley. “You can’t attach more than two. We need to figure that out.”

While zoning issues and costs are of major concern, the concept is gaining some momentum in communities around the area, the biggest idea behind cohousing in relation to LGBTQ older adults is creating systems of support for aging in place where they aren’t forced back into the closet or face discrimination. “This is aging in place,” says Keech. “with the intention of helping each other as we age.” : :

From shared resources to safety and support, the Residents of the community gather onsite during the building process. concepts of cohousing can (Photo Credit: Village Hearth Cohousing) be promising for LGBTQ older adults in cities like “I was thinking more of a commune kind of thing,” Charlotte. McAuley talks This story was produced by the Charlotte says Tami Ike remembering when she first learned of about how the model can involve a focus on affordable Journalism Collaborative, a partnership Village Hearth Cohousing. Ike and her partner, Patricia, housing as well. “It needs to be intentional from the beginof six media companies working together are originally from Greensboro and joined the group in ning,” she says. At Rocky Corner Cohousing in Bethany, in an effort started by the Solutions 2017. “I got a better feel for what cohousing was,” says Conn., a select number of homes were set up to be sold at Journalism Network and funded by The Knight Foundation.

Ike. Cohousing is often confused with the concept of subsidized prices for households earning at or below 60 communal living. In a commune, residents jointly own percent of the area median income. the land and all resources, while cohousing involves ownA group in Santa Fe, N.M. got ing private homes and creating intentional community free land through land trusts which through planning and management. Cohousing commuhelped keep their overall developnities, like VHC, operate in the concept of a sociocracy, or ment costs down. Petaluma Avenue set of tools and principles that ensure shared power — Homes in Sebastapol, Calif. used low not necessarily shared ownership. income housing tax credits and city “Many people just need a little bit of help from time and county funding to create affordto time,” says co-founder Roesch. Being in a wheelchair, able rental units based on a cohousRoesch can’t drive and believes she would be in an asing model. VHC has had inquiries sisted living facility if it wasn’t for the support system into their model from as far away as around her.

Australia, including another project Jane Parrish signed on in 2018, moving to Durham in North Carolina that will focus on from Hudson Valley, N.Y. “I kept coming across these lesbians of color. condos that were like three-story buildings and 3,000 A major economic benefit of residents, and I was getting more freaked out by the mocohousing communities is shared ment,” says Parrish. “I can’t do that — it’s just so anonyresources. Village Hearth residents mous.” She was completely unaware of cohousing at the will share tools, large kitchen suptime when she came across VHC. “The minute I saw it, plies and meals. A guest room in I knew it was exactly what I wanted. It was communitythe Common House will provide based. It would be supportive. It was in a great area. It space for visitors when needed. would give me a purpose.”

“The purpose is to live small,” says McAuley calls it an “intentionality of the community” to Keech. “The community is more help and care for each other. “To live in community, you important than this trinket or that need to value what you gain by collaborating with others. trinket.” Properties range from 650 It requires the ability for give-and-take and a willingness to square-feet to 1,150 square-feet. The Allan Keech is a proud resident of the community. He and his partner joined the seek the best solution for the community as whole, not just community was also able to bundle project in 2015. (Photo Credit: Village Hearth Cohousing) one person’s brilliant idea,” said McCamant in the documensome utilities like cable, water, trash tary film “The Best of Both Worlds, Cohousing’s Promise.” and recycling which keeps individual

March 20-April 2, 2020

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Divorce: Stop. Collaborate. Listen.

Legal Eagles: An Inside Look at the Collaborative Family Law Process in LGBTQ Divorce

BY Lauren V. Lewis, attorney | guest WRITER

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in any litigation about the divorce. That hances are neither you nor your rule makes the collaborative process an spouse ever imagined divorce negoeven more private and contained space tiations when you planned your wedding in which to discuss possible resolutions. vows. How things can change.

Tensions run high in divorce, comCan you afford a collaborative munication breaks down and respecting divorce? your spouse can be hard. Divorce can be There can be a lot of professionals overwhelming on all levels — emotioninvolved in a collaborative divorce. And ally, mentally, financially. While your relayet, a collaborative divorce can easily be tionship is self-destructing, the process of far less expensive than litigation. The divorce comes barreling at you. We’ve all team approach — using jointly retained seen that process play out in movies and professionals to focus on their respectelevision dramas. tive areas — is an efficient use of valuBut the reality is you and your able resources. spouse have options on how you get By pooling expenses and providing divorced. You can take ownership of the open, honest communication about the process and, therefore, the resolution. important issues, you and your spouse You can make choices with just as much could retain more control over the total intentionality as when you chose other cost of the divorce. important things in your life.

Big picture — the options are for a How do you know if collaborative court-centered and court-driven divorce divorce is right for you? process, which means filing a lawsuit Collaboration as opposed to litigation can be a viable option for those who are willing to use the process You might be wondering how it would against your spouse. Or you could to come to a resolve as a divorcing couple. (Photo Credit: yuriygolub via Adobe Stock) ever be possible for you to communicate choose an out-of-court divorce process, with your spouse at this juncture — and which involves mediation and collaborathat is absolutely a valid question. lawyers, financial “neutrals,” divorce coaches and child tive divorce.

Many times people find themselves choosing collabospecialists who meet for face-to-face meetings. Spouses In a court-driven process, you outsource 100 percent ration after doing a deep dive into its litigation alternative. jointly retain the necessary specialists to ease communicaof the decision-making about the division of your financial Talking with a collaboratively-trained professional can help tion between you and your spouse and guide you through assets like your home and retirement savings, along with the you assess whether you and your spouse are a good fit for the process. decisions about parenting your children. The person who has a collaborative divorce. control is a judge who has never met you, spent a day in your More on the team: home, seen how hard you work or felt the tenderness of how How to get started?

•C ollaborative Divorce lawyers: Even though judges and the you tuck your children in at night.

Start by consulting a collaborative divorce lawyer court are not involved in the collaborative process, there The process of litigation strips you of any agency and who can answer your questions and suggest methods are still legal rights involved, so it is important that each control in your own life, with no guarantees about the final for broaching the subject with your spouse. As Glennon spouse have his or her own collaboratively trained lawyer. result. I tell my clients there’s a better way.

Doyle explains in her latest memoir “Untamed,” from • F inancial neutral: A financial neutral has a special focus there you just need to do the next right thing, one after on understanding the financial aspects of any divorce What is a collaborative divorce? the other. From there, you can find yourself on a path to situation, including assets in the parties’ estates, finanCollaborative divorce is driven by the divorcing spouses a healthier divorce — one that leaves you empowered to cial obligations to one another, and financial obligations and guided by a team of trained professionals. It’s private, maintain your self-respect while also able to envision an to benefit the children. The financial neutral reviews as opposed to litigation in which the documents you file optimistic future. : : income, assets and liabilities and can help the team and allegations you make about each other are on public analyze options. record for public consumption.

Lauren V. Lewis is a family law attorney with Essex Richards, •D ivorce coach: A divorce coach has a mental health backYou and your spouse make a contractual commitment P.A. in Charlotte, N.C. Her work involves issues of child custoground and encourages both spouses to focus on perto one another to negotiate instead of having a judge dedy, child support, alimony, equitable distribution, separation sonal goals throughout the process and into the future. cide, while also committing to communicate openly, share agreements, premarital agreements, postnuptial agreement, •C hild specialist: A child specialist presents thoughts and necessary information and develop resolutions focused on and other family law issues. She is active in collaborative concerns on behalf of the children to consider as the your individual and collective goals. As one of the two final family law and a member of Charlotte Collaborative Divorce parents make long-term decisions about the children’s decision-makers, you are integrally involved in the discusProfessionals. Lewis is a certified Family Law Specialist, a best interest. sions leading up to your final decisions. certified Parenting Coordinator and guardian ad litem and Spouses commit to one another to work through the an active volunteer with the Council for Children’s Rights and collaborative process. If they can’t reach a final resolution, Who else is involved in a collaborative divorce?

Safe Alliance. none of the professionals on this team can be involved Collaborative divorce brings together a team of

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a&e

‘Under the Rainbow’ Out in Print

BY terri schlichenmeyer | CONTRIBUTING WRITER “Under the Rainbow”

by Celia Laskey ©2020, Riverhead Books $27.00 288 pages

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t’s worth a try.

You never know what’s going to happen when a new endeavor begins. You only know what it’ll cost: time, money, effort and a lot of patience for a great unknown. This experiment could end well, or it could end very badly but either way, as in the new novel “Under the Rainbow” by Celia Laskey, it’s worth a try.

It was a scientific fact: Big Burr, Kansas, was the most homophobic place in the U.S. That was the determination made by Acceptance Across America (AAA), an LGBTQ non-profit that needed to know before launching its grand experiment. For two years, AAA hoped to keep a task force in Big Burr to live, work, integrate and to see if it was possible to change bigots into open-minded, rational people.

Much to her dismay, that’s why Avery was taken from her very happy California home: one of her moms volunteered to head the Acceptance Across America experiment.

Karen was a lesbian and a feminist; Avery was straight and

Q-mmunity

connections

she hoped that nobody in her new high school would ever think otherwise. It was bad enough that Billy Cunningham’s hate-fueled gang found out who her mother was.

Bible-quoting, mom-blogging Christine Petersen tried to have Acceptance Across America’s billboard removed from downtown, and when that didn’t happen, she took matters into her own hands. Pastor Jim preached against homosexuality; the police ignored hate crimes; and Arturo, having recently moved to Big Burr from New Mexico because of health issues, struggled to accept his son’s husband.

But things weren’t all bad in Big Burr: Linda, who recently lost her son in an accident, was delighted to find friends who didn’t treat her like broken china. Lizzie finally seized the happiness she’d been putting off. Elsie, who hadn’t seen her children in years, found Harley, who was a good substitute and a good friend. And Gabe Cunningham learned that the newcomers to Big Burr would open more than just a few minds…

Here’s a bit of advice: just before you start reading “Under the Rainbow,” take a deep breath. It may be the last one you get until you’re finished.

That’s because author Celia Laskey will knock the wind out of you with the pearl-clutching folks in the fictitious town of Big Burr, the authenticity of their thoughts and actions and the real-life things they do to deny this (almost implausible) social experiment. Better yet, the haters are only half the story: Laskey’s tale is also told through a series of first-person points-of-view of some of the activists who serve as glue to hold everything together.

This all amounts to a bunch of concentric circles that are tangled like a cheap necklace in a small box: everybody’s tale is tied to half the town through barely-kept

confidences, and they all know it — although, like any good novel, secrets ultimately become not-so-secret.

For lovers of novels with bite, just the first page is this book will snare you and keep you rapt. Absolutely, “Under the Rainbow” is worth a try. : :

Author Celia Laskey (Photo Credit: Leonora Anzaldua)

space starting at $22: call qnotes for details 704.531.9988

March 20-April 2, 2020

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March 20-April 2, 2020

life

Bananas are not Your Enemy

Health & Wellness: The Recently Maligned Sweet Treat

BY Jack Kirven | qnotes contributor

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ananas are quite amazing, aren’t they? I suppose one might take a pause saying that in an LGBTQ publication. But fear not, intrepid reader, we are going to discuss something far more interesting: the nutritional value of many people’s favorite fruit.

As with many trends and cycles in fitness and wellness, there is a tendency to go overboard with one nugget of information or another. I confess I bought into it, and I’m quite glad to cash out. You see, I too had heard that bananas are simply too high in fructose to be healthy. Frankly, I’m annoyed that I listened to that. I love bananas, and you can too. Just as with the supposed risk of eggs and cholesterol or protein and kidney failure, bananas have taken some hits lately. Let’s look at why we’re actually okay with eating them.

In the last entry for this column I discussed the Glycemic Index and Glycemic Load (goqnotes.com/65009). While I was reading up on it, I noticed that bananas were not really all that bad. In fact, they were actually far from bad. I started buying bananas again the same day. What a relief!

You see, the current attitude is that bananas are far too sweet to be good for maintaining lower body fat levels. But it turns out that logic simply doesn’t bear fruit (sorry, even without kids, I can’t resist telling dad jokes at this point in my life).

Ripe bananas are sweeter, because they contain more sugar, but when they are still slightly green or they have then turned brown, those levels are lower. While green, the sugars haven’t separated from the more complex starches (which is why bananas are firmer at this point), and once they go overripe those sugars break down.

Bananas have similar nutritional profiles to other fruits. A banana has around 27g of carbohydrates, but pears have 25g, and both pineapple and blueberries have 21g. Bananas do have a glycemic index around 50; however, anything below 55 is fine. That score puts them in the medium category, as opposed to low, but they are still in the safe spectrum. The glycemic load for bananas, especially when ripe, can get quite high, but that is why all fruit should be consumed in moderation. A single banana each day isn’t going to make you explode into full blown diabetes. They’re far, far better for you than processed foods with lower numbers for carbohydrates, glycemic levels and glycemic loads.

Bananas are famous for being excellent sources of potassium. Potassium is one of the several electrolytes, and is critical for a wide variety of processes in the body (most notably, muscle contraction). It would be much better to get

that nutrient from a banana than from a science lab sports drink. Also, the fruit contains fiber, which mitigates the speed at which its sugars affect your insulin levels.

It also contains water and Vitamin B6.

Also known as pyridoxine, B6 is essential in the diet, because you cannot make it on your own. It factors in the metabolism of your food, the creation of red blood cells (the importance of which cannot be overstated), and are components of the nerve transmitters that allow your nervous system to send and receive information throughout the body.

B6 seems to help indirectly with maintaining mood and alleviating depression.

It might help prevent or slow the progression of Alzheimers, and may also indirectly improve risk for anemia. Evidence suggests it can protect your arteries from narrowing, thus improving heart health. Some studies have found connections between B6 deficiency and certain cancers, glaucoma and rheumatoid arthritis, so getting enough of the nutrient might also lower the risk of these problems.

All this from a banana. Not too shabby, right? So, all this together means that this popular, healthy food should not cause you consternation. If you like to eat a snack before working out, bananas can give you the energy you need to work harder. They replenish your glycogen levels afterward. I would suggest having fruit two hours before or after your session, because fructose closer to your workout can inhibit the formation of muscle; however, this alone shouldn’t be a reason to avoid bananas either. Carbohydrates do play a role in muscle formation, and if being a competitive body builder isn’t your goal, then this timing issue is likely not so important for you.

In closing, I am not suggesting that you should eat multiple bananas a day. I am also not suggesting you have no bananas at all. I’m saying that balance should always be your ideal, and that a banana each day is very good for you (assuming you aren’t allergic or grossed out by them). The guidance I offer clients is this: Get six or more servings of fruit and vegetables each day.

Four or more of those should be vegetables, and two or fewer should be fruits (assuming your goal is to minimize body fat). A banana counts as one of those servings. : : Jack Kirven completed the MFA in Dance at UCLA, and earned certification as a personal trainer through NASM. His wellness philosophy is founded upon integrated lifestyles as opposed to isolated workouts. Visit him at jackkirven.com and INTEGRE8Twellness.com.

March 20-April 2, 2020

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We’ve Never Met, But I’m In Love Tell Trinity

BY Trinity | CONTRIBUTING WRITER Hey Trinity, A few months ago I met a guy on the Internet who lives in another state. We talk on the phone a lot, but we’ve never met. Now, I am falling in love and I want to tell him. Is this a good idea?

Yours, Falling in Love, Cheyenne, WY Hey Falling, Love at first sight, yes, but love at first phone call? Without meeting him! Stop!

Before you tell him, you love him, you first must meet him, touch him, see him, spend time with him. It’s great to fall in love, but don’t break your neck in the fall. He could be the voice of your dreams but filled with so many nightmares. So, pumpkin, get on a plane, bus, train or get in your car and go meet him. Meeting is believing!

Kisses, Trinity

To Un-Dolled Up, There comes a time in every St. Valentines Day massacre, I mean, relationship when two people say, “I love you no matter what.” But you still have to spend your life trying to turn her on, impressing her, showing her she’s special! As Dr. Ruth once put it, “You must keep ‘za’ flame alive.” Any good chef knows it’s about presentation and taste! Listen, sister, you must keep trying new ways to present

To Trinity, My partner and I of four years have become very comfortable with each other, so comfortable that I no longer “turn her on,” as she puts it. I know I’m not the sexyist dresser alive, but shouldn’t she love me for what’s inside, not outside?

Thanks, Un-Dolled Up, Winston-Salem, NC

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yourself to keep the flame alive. How would you like it if your favorite restaurant changed from filet mignon to spam?

(Check out my cartoon and my tips for some real head-turning counsel. Figure out what works for you and go for it!)

Love, Trinity Dearest Trinity, I’m 40 and still in the closet. I want to come out, but I don’t want to hurt my friends and family. I also have not been with anyone in 12 years. I want love, but I push everyone away. Help?

Sincerely, Wanting What I Can’t Have, Chicago, IL Dearest Wanting, Somewhere you learned to fear your God(dess) given gift of being gay. And you learned to push potential lovers away who challenge that. Remember Alexander the Great, or Joan of Arc. They said, “I’m queer! Deal with it.” You’re not only gay because of your deep, spiritual destiny, but you must accept that being gay is like winning the lottery, like finding out you’re a Rockefeller or Marilyn Monroe’s illegitimate child. Honey, the world is your oyster, and being gay is your pearl. Come out and claim it!

Big hugs, Trinity Dear Trinity, You should think about teaching classes or giving lectures. But my question is, if you had your own finishing school what would you teach?

Yours, Admirer, Philadelphia, PA

Dear Admirer, I’ve given lectures and taught classes but finishing school? Darling, I love the idea. So here are:

Trinity’s Finishing School Tips From Head To Toe

1. Walk with your head up high, not your nose. Beware of nose hair.

2. Going for a job interview? Hair up.

Going on a first date? Hair down.

3. A splash of cologne is a nice touch.

Smelling like a department store display is way too much.

4. Mile for mile, good looks run second place next to class, charm and style.

5. Going to buy milk? Dress down. Going on the town? Dress up.

6. A wanton tongue brings home sour fortune cookies.

7. If cleavage is meek, a pushup bra promises much more than a free drink.

8. Obviously it’s all about you. But saving that fact ‘til much later helps make one… equal two.

9. Flats are fine when with husband and child, but heels turn heads for miles and miles.

10. I f you think that finishing school finishes, then you’re never finished with finishing school.

With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com.

Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

views

Presenting the Manatomy Awards Jesse’s Journal

BY Jesse Monteagudo | Guest Contributor

Ricky Whittle (from ‘American Gods’), Best Butt category winner in the 6th Annual Mr. Man Manatomy Awards.

M

r. Man (mrman.com) is a website that specializes in locating, rating and posting instances of male nudity in film and television. Going live in October 2013, Mr. Man is a spin-off from the popular Mr. Skin website. Unlike full-frontal female nudity, which is rather common, male nudity is virtually non-existent in American movies and television. This makes Mr. Man a valuable resource for those of us who are devotees of the male form.

On Feb. 6 Mr. Man announced the winners of the Sixth Annual Manatomy Awards. These Awards, we are told, “shines a spotlight on the past year’s naked male achievements in film and TV.” As the web site puts it, “the 6th Annual Manatomy [Awards] are finally here! Our dick, butt, and everything in between experts have rounded up all of the lewdest, crudest, and most importantly nudest scenes of the year from movies and television.”

“For years, nude scenes were primarily the domain of female actresses,” Phil Henricks of Mr. Man noted in a press release. “That has been changing as each year there are more scenes and actors to choose from. We are celebrating the fine actors who have the balls (pun intended) to go naked.” Winners were chosen through a “comprehensive process” that included the editorial, production and marketing teams from Mr. Man. They selected five contenders for each of their 43 categories and then sat in a conference room, re-watched all the scenes and voted on the winners. “It got heated in the room.

Jake [Gyllenhaal] came close, but in the end, it was decided that he didn’t show enough nudity.”

Some categories are new.

For example, Best Locker Room Scene was created to honor Euphoria’s “iconic” full-frontal locker room scene with 21 guys in it. And Best Bloomin Onion was created

to honor Orlando Bloom’s butt in “Carnival Row.” Visitmrman.com/manatomyawards for the full list, and all the award-winning scenes. Meanwhile, here are some of the major Manatomy Award winners: • Best Picture: “Sauvage” • Best TV Show: “Tales of the City” • Best Full Frontal: Jack Reynor in “Midsommar” • Best Butt: Ricky Whittle in “American Gods” (this author’s personal favorite) • Best Gay Scene: Brian Jordan Álvarez and Ryan O’Connell in “Special” • Biggest Cock: Aaron Taylor Johnson in “A Million Little Pieces” • Best I Just Blue Myself: Yahya Abdul-Marten II in “Watchmen” • Best Gay Makeout: Taron Egerton and Richard Madden in “Rocketman” • Best Uncut Cock: Christophe de Coster in “Vida” • Best Prosthetic Penis: Connor Swindels in “Sex Education” • Best Tanline: Chace Crawford in “The Boys” • Best Superhero Nudity: Joshua Orpin in “Titans” • Best Furry Friend Fronta: Collin Baja in “Tales of the City” • Lifetime Achievement Award: Daniel Craig : :

March 20-April 2, 2020

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events

NOTICE

A massive number of events have been canceled due to the coronavirus and imposed self-isolation by government officials.

As our regular lives get back on track, we will continue to provide event listing to you.

Thank you for your patience during these challenging times.

Please use these tips below to help you navigate the do’s and don’ts of COVID-19..

Agencies and Other Resources for Information:

COVID-19 TIPS The World Health Organization has issued these tips to help reduce the risk of contracting the coronavirus (also known as COVID-19).

DO THE FIVE 1 HANDS — Wash them often 2 ELBOW — Cough into it 3 FACE — Don’t touch it 4 FEET— Stay more than three feet apart 5 FEEL — sick? Stay home

The Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce has compiled this list of governme;net and other resources you can use during this time.

Mecklenburg County Health Department bit.ly/2U7SdSS North Carolina Government bit.ly/3b2kWPT SAGE LGBTQ sageusa.org/coronavirus/ GLMA LGBTQ bit.ly/39WZz2m US Department of Labor bit.ly/2QmuMnN U.S. Chamber of Commerce uscham.com/2Wl55Ie U.S. Small Business Administration bit.ly/2QlM7NQ Centers for Disease Control and Prevention CDC Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19) bit.ly/2Ud0R2A About Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19) bit.ly/2QljzDY World Health Organization (WHO) who.int/

For those who been exposed to or are confirmed to have or being evaluated for the 2019 novel coronavirus, the North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services offers these recommendations as prevention steps:

Occupational Safety and Health Administration bit.ly/2x4JJE1

Stay home except to get medical care Restrict activities outside your home. Don’t go to work, school or public areas and do not take public transportation or taxis.

Charlotte LGBTQ Elders They suggest checking in on those who are shut in due to the virus. Isolation for seniors is especially difficult.

Call ahead before visiting your doctor This will enable the medical practice to prepare for your visit so that others do not contract the virus from you.

NC AIDS Action Network Given that only 53 percent of people living with HIV in the United States have an undetectable viral load and that 60 percent of the people living with HIV in the United States are age 50 or older, a large number of the U.S. population living with HIV is particularly more vulnerable during the rapid spread of COVID-19. If you are living with HIV, try to get a month supply of your HIV medication if possible and be sure to take measures to reduce your stress levels the best that you can during this time.

Monitor your symptoms Keep watch for worsening conditions, such as difficulty breathing. Seek prompt medical attention if you notice your symptoms digressing.

Wear a facemask Be sure to cover your nose and mouth when in the same room with others and instruct others to do the same.

Separate yourself from other people in your home As much as possible, isolate yourself from others and use a separate bathroom if available.

Avoid sharing household items Don’t share anything that comes in contact with you like glasses, utensils, dishes, towels, bedding, etc. and be sure that these items are washed with soap and water after use.

Cover your coughs and sneezes Be sure to use a tissue (or your sleeve) when coughing and sneezing and dispose of the tissue after use. Wash your hands or use an alcohol-based hand rub (sanitizer).

Wash your hands Do this often and thoroughly with soap and water for at least 20 seconds. Be sure to avoid touching your eyes, nose and mouth with unwashed hands.

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Organizations response and reminders for the community

National LGBT Cancer Network Over 100 organizations have signed onto a letter to remind all parties handling COVID-19 surveillance, response, treatment and media coverage that LGBTQ+ communities are among those who are particularly vulnerable to the negative health effects of this virus.

LGBT Center of Raleigh The center suggests that social distancing does not interfere with Give Out Day slated for April 25. (Organizations are always in need of resources so that they can continue to provide the critical services that their respective communities need.)

Media Entertainment Arts WorldWide This company suggests that there may be a reluctance in seeking medical help by LGBTQ individuals due to frrequent experiences of discrimination, unwelcoming attitudes and lack of understanding from providers of health care.

life

REGULAR EVENTS Charlotte LGBT Chamber

Our People: Samis Rose

Regular business meetings, social events and other activities throughout the year. Days and times vary. info: clgbtcc.org.

Longtime Pilar of Charlotte’s LGBTQ Community

Prime Timers

Monthly meeting including dinner, speaker, games and more for gay men ages 21 and up, 5-7 p.m., Park Road Baptist Church Fellowship Hall, 3900 Park Rd., Charlotte. info: charlotteprimetimers.org.

Transcend Charlotte

Support groups for partners, friends and family of transgender and gender non-conforming adults ages 18 and older, second and fourth Sundays of each month, 6-7 p.m., Time Out Youth Center, 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte.

Prior to each meeting an anxiety support group is offered 5-6 p.m. info: transcendcharlotte.org.

Trans Youth Group

Time Out Youth Center hosts weekly discussion groups for transgender youth ages 13-20 each Thursday, 4:306 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org.

Youth Drop-In Space

Drop-in space Monday-Friday, 3-6:30 p.m., Time Out Youth Center, 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org.

Youth Discussion Group

Weekly discussion groups for LGBTQ youth ages 13-20 each Wednesday, 6:30-8:30 p.m., Time Out Youth Center, 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org.

Youth of Color Group

Weekly discussion groups for LGBTQ and ally people of color each Thursday, 7-8:30 p.m., Time Out Youth Center, 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org

UPDATES/ADDITIONS?

Do you have a regular and reoccurring community event you’d like listed? A listing to update? Email us at editor@ goqnotes.com.

BY Mykah Buff | QNotes Staff Writer

L

ongtime pillar of Charlotte’s LGBTQ community, Samis Rose helped create various organizations attributable to making it possible for today’s generation in Charlotte to celebrate LGBTQ Pride.

Rose and a host of other community members help found the first Gay and Lesbian Switchboard which provided an vital peer counseling service to members of the local LGBTQ community during a time when there were few options available for support such as this.

In addition, Rose, her partner Billie Stickell, Stickell, Don King and others organized Queen City Qordinators, an organization that gave birth to the first Charlotte Pride festival in 1981.

Rose was also one of One Voice’s first soloists and was a founding member of Sotto Voce, a small auditioned-group of the LGBTQ-affirmative chorus. qnotes was able to catch up with Rose and gather a little more insight about her life and the early days of LGBTQ Pride in Charlotte.

As a founding member of Queen City Coordinators, what were some of the things you were tasked with doing early on?

I was only active with the group for a time. Just long enough to help brainstorm, really. We really didn’t have tasks yet.

What was the purpose of Queen City Coordinators and what prompted it being formed?

It was the beginning of a busy time. Simultaneous groups were beginning to form, and the group realized the importance of offering guidance, so that all groups could find or raise the necessary funds. This was before the widespread use of computers. It was basically an umbrella group to help consolidate all the groups How have you overcome the challenges associated with being openly-queer during times where the risks were much higher?

There weren’t that many for me. Thankfully.

What was it like working on Charlotte’s first gay Pride festival?

There were just a hundred or so folks participating in the first festival, headquartered at Scorpios and Oleans, but I gotta tell you that it was great!

The freedom and support really sparked things. As a direct result, more folks volunteered, and our community grew.

How has our community’s celebrations changed and evolved since the first gay Pride festival in Charlotte?

It’s apples and oranges. We were a hundred [people] in the parking lot of a gay bar one weekend. Now it’s thousands taking up blocks and various other locations for a week-long event. Actually, it’s pretty satisfying to see.

What were your experiences like as a soloist performer for One Voice?

I sang with One Voice for 14 or 15 years. Besides myself, we were blessed with a variety of talented soloists during those years. I have to say it was one of the most gratifying experiences of my life.

We often traveled to other smaller communities that were without resources, hoping our performance would help spark the growth of another group. We also performed at hospitals and assisted living facilities. That was just the best.

What is your current professional position and what does it entail?

I am disabled, not recovering. So, this is it. But my partner, Billie, and I had our own business for over 20 years. Two of a Kind Jewelry. We were both silversmiths, who designed and handmade everything.

What are some of your favorite hobbies or pastimes?

I grow plants, raise worms and spend most of my time writing.

What is your favorite color?

Mauve. Of course. : :

March 20-April 2, 2020

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