QNotes, March 24, 2017

March 24-April 6 . 2017

qnotes

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March 24-April 6 . 2017

inside

Q

qnotes news & features

Couple’s devotion shows depth of love!

arts. entertainment. news. views.

4 HB2 Update

8 News Notes: Regional Briefs 10 News Notes: U.S./World Briefs

a&e / life&style 6 Leading Ladies 11 Lesbian Couple Show Resilience

Cyteria Knight and Susan Miller’s 30 plus-year relationship was tested when Knight suddenly became incapacitated.

Resilience helped to beat the odds. page 11

15 Legal Eagles: Estate Planning 17 Tell Trinity 18 Cumming Around Again 20 Health & Wellness 22 Q Events Calendar

more news & features

Legal Eagles New column explores estate planning for the LGBTQ community. page 15

Health & Wellness #8 of 8: Finding ways to rest is essential to one’s wellbeing. page 20

23 Our People: Torie Dominguez

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qnotes connect March 24-April 6 Vol 31 No 24

arts. entertainment. news. views. goqnotes.com twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue

Maria Dominguez, Jack Kirven, Lainey Millen, Michael P. Pascale, Esq., Gregg Shapiro, Jeff Taylor, Trinity

front page

Graphic Design by Lainey Millen Photography: lassedesignen via Adobe Stock Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBT and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBT life and social justice issues.

Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Managing Editor: Jim Yarbrough, editor@goqnotes.com Assoc. Editor: Lainey Millen, specialassignments@goqnotes.com Social Media Editor: Jeff Taylor, jeff@goqnotes.com Staff Writer: Maria Dominguez, maria@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen, x205, production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.

Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2017 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

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upcoming issues: 04.07.17: LGBTQ Youth Advertising Space Deadline: March 29 04.21.17: Summer Travel Advertising Space Deadline: April 12

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HB2 Update

Developments show continued controversy on HB2 Law’s repeal like a tug of war

by Maria Dominguez :: qnotes staff The controversy surrounding House Bill 2 (HB2) sees developments every day. The anti-LGBTQ legislation, which mandates public restroom use by birth sex and nullifies local non-discrimination protections, has had massive pushback from advocates and allies. In the interest of keeping our readers informed, qnotes breaks down the avalanche of headlines and provides a brief but comprehensive breakdown of HB2 news.

March 1 House Speaker Tim Moore interviewed with Time Warner Cable News, commenting on HB186, the controversial HB2 repeal bill that activists are calling “HB 2.0.” Moore called on Democrats to support the bill, saying, “I think that the Democrats need to understand that this is a true compromise. If they want any kind of resolution to this issue, this is the opportunity. If they choose not to take advantage of this opportunity, then there will probably be no further discussions on this bill for the next couple of years.” Moore also spoke against Gov. Roy Cooper’s actions in the negotiation and repeal process and suggested that communication with the governor was pointless: “I don’t know that any further phone calls are warranted at this point,” Moore said.

March 6 North Carolina Lt. Gov. Dan Forest traveled to Texas to work with Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick promoting the Texas Privacy Act, that state’s version of North Carolina’s HB2. The Texas bill is in its early stages and is struggling to find support. Lt. Gov. Forest has come under fire from political rivals for the trip. “Instead of working with Governor Cooper to repeal this horrible and destructive bill, Forest is actively working to spread this kind of legislation to other states,” said North Carolina Democratic Party Executive Director Kimberly Reynolds.

“It’s no surprise then that Forest and his fellow Republicans are blocking Governor Cooper’s efforts to find a reasonable compromise to repeal House Bill 2.”

The U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit announced that it will hear oral arguments on Carcaño v. McCrory on May 10. The ACLU and Lambda Legal, representing four LGBTQ North Carolinians in the case, released a joint statement: “We look forward to being back in court to fight to ensure that all transgender people in North Carolina are treated with the dignity and respect that they deserve and that is required by law.”

North Carolina Democratic Party Chair Wayne Goodwin held a press conference condemning GOP leaders for their continued inaction and sabotage of HB2 repeal: “Despite public widespread opposition to keeping House Bill 2 on the books, Republican leaders are actively undermining political support for any compromise. It’s time for Republicans in the General Assembly to show some leadership and join Governor Cooper in working to find a solution.”

March 24-April 6 . 2017

March 7 The New Hampshire House of Representatives debated tabling a bill that would extend non-discrimination protections to include gender identity. House Speaker Shawn Jasper used rhetoric reminiscent of the HB2 debacle, saying, “I am going to protect my family, and if I see somebody with a 5 o’clock shadow trying to go into the ladies room where my wife or daughter is, my natural instinct is to not let that happen.” Nevertheless, the New Hampshire non-discrimination bill has broad support.

Hanover), Rep. Jon Hardister (R-Guilford), and Rep. Donny Lambeth (R-Forsyth) voted unanimously with other Republicans in the NCGA to oppose a full repeal of HB2.

March 8 The News & Observer published the discovery that shortly before Election Day, former Gov. Pat McCrory and his team fabricated news that the 2018 Hula Bowl would come to Raleigh. McCrory used the announcement as an example of how HB2 has not impacted sports tourism in North Carolina — but the event never committed to Raleigh and negotiations halted.

March 9 NC Policy Watch published a profile of two transgender advocates, Candis Cox and Ames Simmons, who have fought for HB2 repeal.

In the interview, Cox said that the media and political focus on the economic impact of the law overlooks the most important impact: that on the people. “This isn’t a law about college sports. This is a law about real peoples’ real lives,” Cox said. “It hurts me because I feel that by not talking about me — and by me I mean the people who are affected by this — they’re taking our fight, our voice, the shame and the humiliation we’re going through, from us.”

March 13 In Gov. Cooper’s first State of the State address to the North Carolina General Assembly (NCGA), the governor made clear that his foremost priority is full, clean repeal of HB2.

He compared the law to a “dark cloud hanging over our state of promise. It drains the energy from what should be our work for the people of this state.” He vowed that if the legislature would “Pass a clean repeal of HB2 and I will sign it the same day.”

March 14 Progress NC Action organized an event to raise the voices of disappointed voters whose representatives promised full repeal during the election and haven’t delivered. Particularly emphasized, Rep. Chris Malone (R-Wake) called for full repeal weeks before his reelection, but has been silent about the various repeal bills, then expressing support for “HB 2.0.” Said one of Rep. Malone’s constituents, “When Chris Malone told voters in our district he supported a full repeal of HB2, we believed him,” said Lisa Lutz.

Democrats in the NCGA introduced an amendment to cleanly repeal HB2.

Malone, along with Rep. John Bradford (R-Mecklenburg), Rep. Holly Grange (R-New

Gov. Roy Cooper presses for full , clean repeal of HB2 as he said in his State of the State address.

Photo Credit: Jim Morrill, The Charlotte Observer

March 15 Greensboro News & Record columnist Susan Ladd wrote about the personal impact on HB2 on LGBTQ North Carolinians. Ladd asked whether the NCGA would repeal if the legislators had to face the same discrimination as transgender citizens. “Suppose Moore had to fear being beaten to death in a public restroom for wearing a suit?” Ladd asks. “That’s the reality for LGBTQ North Carolinians and has been for decades.”

March 23 March 23 is the one-year anniversary of the day HB2 was passed in a one-day special session of the NCGA and signed by Gov. McCrory. On that day, NC Policy Watch has slated as of press time to hold a Crucial Conversation luncheon with an expert panel including: Chris Brook, legal director of the ACLU of North Carolina; Ames Simmons, lobbyist and director of Transgender Policy at Equality North Carolina; and Rick Glazier, executive director of the North Carolina Justice Center. The panel will discuss the history of HB2 and the path forward. : :

ERRATA In our March 10 issue, we incorrectly published the name of Big Mamma’s House of Burlesque as Big Mama’s in the story entitled “Sex, songs and sequins: Big Mamma’s House of Burlesque takes Charlotte by storm. We regret the error.

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Girl Power

Leading Ladies: influential women in the LGBTQ community Stories of success and empowerment in honor of Women’s History Month

by Maria Dominguez :: qnotes staff

A

s January’s Women’s Marches showed, there are countless strong and influential women ready to effect change in the world. Locally, Charlotte, too, has some outstanding female leaders. In honor of Women’s History Month, qnotes wants to honor some of the local women who are paving the way for change, acceptance, and pride. These leading ladies have various backgrounds, but much in common; all are determined, hardworking women whose LGBTQ identities have not held them back from success.

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Penny Craver One of Charlotte’s best-known restaurateur, Penny Craver owns Dish on Thomas Ave. and is the former owner of Tremont Music Hall. Craver says she owes her success to “the work ethic my family instilled in me.” An out and proud lesbian, Craver cultivates an open and accepting environment in her venues. The restaurant, she says, “is a safe place for all people to work, but there is an atmosphere where LGBT persons can feel welcome and accepted…Dish has proven that the important thing is that good people are good people whether they are gay, straight, tattooed, pierced, or purple haired. Anything else is just not that important.”

Penny Craver

• • • • • • • • •

Teresa Davis Currently a government attorney for the Department of Homeland Security, Teresa Davis also has countless creative pursuits. She hopes to publish a mystery novel, and has a number of writing pet projects including a self-help book, a musical comedy movie and a lesbian comedy that she hopes to submit to the Sundance Film Festival. If this overachiever seems to have diverse interests, that is surely the case; Davis was a professional pianist before obtaining her law degree. In addition to a thriving creative impulse, Davis’ intellect allows her to excel in her work as an attorney. She says, “the people I serve inspire my work. Whether it’s assisting clients at my day job, or enhancing the quality of Charlotte’s LGBTQ community through our volunteer programs and services, I work harder when the people I serve seem satisfied.”

Ann Gonzales

• • • • • • • • •

Rev. Dawn Flynn An inspirational pastor at New Life Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) in Gastonia, N.C., Rev. Dawn Flynn believes that her identity as a transgender woman was the key to God’s plan for

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her. It wasn’t easy to come to this point; Flynn overcame rejection from the Methodist churches she’d served for a decade upon announcing her transition. “I was going to commit suicide,” Flynn confessed, “until I was told in a dream to seek help from a professional therapist. I did and came to understand that my call to ministry was tied to my trans journey. My call is to reach out to the LGBTQ community, especially the trans community, and let them know that God loves them.” This is just what Flynn does now with New Life MCC — spread love and affirmation to a community that is often shunned by faith leadership.

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Ann Gonzales As an entrepreneur and co-owner of Create-ster, a marketing agency based in Charlotte, Ann Gonzales is inspired daily by her clients, who are often new to the business world. “It’s always refreshing to see how passionate they are,” she said.

Gonzales was moved to start her business when she became involved with the Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce, then called the Charlotte Business Guild. “It’s been such a great experience to be part of Charlotte’s LGBTQ footprint,” said Gonzales. She also hopes to network with others in the LGBTQ community with similar backgrounds. Gonzales has “started a new Facebook Group called the ‘Charlotte LGBT Asian American Alliance’ in hopes that more LGBTQ Asians in our community will want to connect and network.” It’s fair to say that this active and determined leader will continue to pave the way for other women in the LGBTQ community.

life

Dianna Ward

• • • • • • • • •

Gelissa Stitt Currently working in application support, Gelissa Stitt, 43, describes herself as “a proud Black lesbian woman, who serves her community, treasures her family and is determined to make a positive difference in Charlotte and the world.” She pursues this difference by volunteering with St. Luke Missionary Baptist Church and St. Augustine University and is a board member of Charlotte Black Gay Pride. Stitt’s grandmother, Ella Talley, and her wife, LaWana Mayfield, opened Stitt’s eyes to the need for representation, both in the black community and in the LGBTQ community. From youth, Stitt “wanted to give back by volunteering and working in organizations that have the same values and mission that I have and that is to try make sure that my community is represented in a positive light within the LGBT community and beyond.”

• • • • • • • • •

Rev. Dawn Flynn

Gelissa Stitt Connie Vetter

Connie Vetter Also an attorney, Connie Vetter, 52, has dedicated her career to fighting for LGBTQ rights and has “clients from every sexual orientation and walk of life.” Early on, Vetter knew that activism was her mission. “I had been going to marches and rallies, writing letters and making calls,” Vetter said. “When I thought about going to law school I realized I could combine my activism with a law degree that would allow me to work for change from inside the system as well as outside it.” Vetter was influenced by Brown v. Board of Education attorney Charles Hamilton Houston and Civil Rights activist Bayard Rustin. Their battles encourage her to “try to keep learning about all who are treated as ‘less’ and working to change that.”

• • • • • • • • •

Dianna Ward Another ambitious and successful entrepreneur, Dianna Ward owns the parent company Charlotte NC Tours, LLC, which extends through three states and comprises six businesses. In 2015 she was named one of the 50 Most Influential Women in Charlotte by The Mecklenburg Times. Ward says she’s inspired by her parents, who “were both trailblazers. My

mom integrated Memphis State and was one of the Memphis State 8 and my Dad was a Mathematician and economist in the ‘60s.” Highly educated, Ward holds a Bachelor’s in Math and a joint Master’s in Statistics and Operation Research. But

her true passion is “to help create a much more bike-friendly Charlotte. I would like to help people integrate cycling into their daily routines…I want to be a change agent in whatever I take on.” : :

March 24-April 6 . 2017

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news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff Two other concerts will be held in the Nashville, Tenn. area to round out the event. info: onevoicechorus.com.

Charlotte Org holds ‘art’ event

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Different Roads Home will hold its “Artstravaganza!” on March 24, 7:30 p.m., at Le Méridien Charlotte, 555 S. McDowell St. The benefit event will be co-hosted by radio personality Ramona Holloway.

Local and national artists will showcase their works that will be auctioned off to help raise funds for Different Roads Home.

Live entertainment will be provided by Cindy Alexander.

Tickets, which are available online, are $50 and include a $25 bid credit, discounted parking and butler-passed hors d’oeuvres. info: differentroadshome.org.

‘Codebreaker’ concert approaches

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — One Voice Chorus and Nashville in Harmony will present “Codebreaker: A Story of Alan Turing” on April 2, 3 p.m., at First United Methodist Church, 501 N. Tryon St. The concert explores musical and social outsiders featuring the U.S. premiere of the film of the same name.

Tickets are $15-$20 and are available online.

The two choruses will repeat their concert on April 26, 7:30 p.m., at Wingate University, 220 N. Camden Rd., Wingate, N.C.

Eastern Pride scholarships available

SOUTHERN PINES, N.C. — Sandhills Pride, has announced that it is providing scholarships for high school seniors, The Pilot reported.

In its second year, scholarships totaling $10,000 will be awarded to four recipients, with each one receiving $2,500 each.

Funds for the scholarship comes from contributions, as well as Sandhills Pride fundraising efforts. Applicants are confined to the Sandhills region only who attend an accredited high school.

Monies received are to be used for educational expenses only.

Criteria for eligibility includes: high school graduate entering a higher institute in the fall; resident of Sandhills region; identify as LGBTQ student or straight ally who has worked as an advocate for equality and support of the LGBTQ community; acceptance to a four-year college, community college or vocational school for the 2017 academic year; willingness to be interviewed in the event of a tie; completed scholarship application form; copy of high school transcript with a 2.5 GPA minimum; 500-word minimum essay describing life as an LGBTQ student or involvement with and in support of

the LGBTQ community as an ally; signed and completed release form, including parent or guardian signature; and two non-familial letters of recommendation.

Selected individuals will be required to attend a presentation of awards at a banquet in early May. Deadline for applications is March 31. info: sandhillspride.org. thepilot.com.

Triad Scholarship apps due

GREENSBORO, N.C. — Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays Greensboro is accepting applications for its Carter Stroupe Memorial Scholarship.

Monies are used to support students’ higher education needs.

Deadline for submission is March 31 postmarked. Information is available online. info: pflaggreensboro.org.

‘Radical’ seder slated

GREENSBORO, N.C. — The 7th Annual Radical Seder will be held on April 15, 6 p.m., at Elsewhere, 606 S. Elm St. The event, which connects Jewish liberation with historic and contemporary liberation texts, will include traditional foods and an “untraditional telling” of the Passover story across the three floors of the museum.

Advance purchase is required online at squ. re/2nqw0RA. Cost is $15 and seating is limited.

For those who have questions or dietary/access needs, email museum@goelsewhere.org.

Elsewhere has a diverse offering for those who wish to honor history and contribute to the present. One such program is QueerLab, a youth-led media project and forum for LGBTQidentifying youth across the state and beyond.

QueerLab produces a magazine, I Don’t Do Boxes, on an annual basis. It includes stories and artwork from the region exploring “queer southern experience.” It is available online and in print. info: goelsewhere.org.

Center opens scholarship season

WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. — North Star LGBTQ Community Center, 930 Burke St., has announced that it is now accepting applications for The Kevin Jennings Equality WinstonSalem Scholarship.

Established in 2013, the program provides scholarships for students who have shown leadership and vision in a Gay/Straight Alliance at their school or in the general LGBTQ community if none exists in their school, the center

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Kevin Jennings

said. It was named after Jennings in 2015 to honor his generosity and “acknowledge the struggles he overcame as a gay teenager in the 1970s in the city and county.”

In 2017, the center will award up to $3,000 to deserving applicants. Monies are used to assist with undergraduate tuition, fees, room and board and/or other college expenses. The scholarship is not based upon financial need.

Since its inception the Jennings scholarship has operated with the proviso that if no qualified students were identified by application deadline, that the funds would carry over to the following year. To date, a total of $11,500 has been awarded to 19 high school seniors.

Applicants are required to be a resident of Forsyth County, have a grade point average of 2.0, be graduating in spring 2017 from a Winston-Salem/Forsyth County high school or receiving an equivalent GED and attending a college, university or technical college in the fall of 2017, demonstrate active involvement and/or leadership in an alliance, equality club or in the general LGBTQ community.

A scholarship briefing will be held on March 25, 2 p.m., at the center for interested parties.

For more information, email Rayce Lamb at outreach@northstarlgbtcc.com.

In other news, the center in partnership with Interfaith Voice and Wake Forest University School of Divinity will welcome Peterson Toscano on April 3, 7 p.m., Lower Auditorium of Wingate Hall, Wake Forest University, 1834 Wake Forest Rd., for “Everything is Connected.” The self-described “quirky queer quaker” explores the intersectionality of gender, religion and climate change. The event is free.

Additionally, North Star will host a bookreading and signing event on March 26, 3 p.m., with Chapel Hill’s Mark Spano, author of the new mystery novel “Midland Club.” Admission is free and open to the public.

For more details about either event, email info@northstarlgbtcc.com. info: northstarlgbtcc.com.

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Students explore LGBTQ youth issues BURLINGTON, N.C. — Recently, a group of nearly a dozen teenagers from across Alamance County spent time together at The Blend & Co. to explore issues faced by LGBTQ youth at school and in the development and maintenance of school-based groups, the TimesNews reported.

Of importance were: lack of resources and mild support from fellow students and administrators; opposition; meeting date flyers being ripped from walls; meeting location difficulty; challenges in maintaining membership; and living as a LGBTQ teenager in a conservative county.

Even though the school system’s policy has been “ahead of the curve,” there are still issues. The system adopted an anti-bullying policy that includes sexual orientation and gender identity, while charter and private schools set their own and some have embraced policies that safeguard LGBTQ students, the Times-News report added.

Chartered Clover Garden School has a Gay/Straight Alliance. A’Zane Troxler, a student at the school, was one of those who helped form the group and shared that even with the institution of a policy, “it was a really brave thing for club members to meet…but since I have done it, I have gotten a lot of respect from my classmates.”

At Williams High School, a group has been formed that meets outside school property.

Sayer Kirk serves as leader of “Queer Fish” which provides a social and supportive outlet for LGBTQ youth, including a place to hang out, read and listen to educational speakers.

Neighbors of Kirk, David Carter and Ken Smith who are leaders with Alamance Pride, lent a hand to help in the formation of The Queer Fish Center. The youth who met at Blend began to form a board and set up a list of goals and ideas. Its mission is “to provide safety, support, learning and leadership.” Visibility in the shadows of HB2 has been challenging and Kirk added that more progress is yet to be made. Their next meeting is on April 11, 6 p.m., at Life’s Journey United Church of Christ, 2121 Edgewood Ave. They have created a Go Fund Me page in order to raise money to file for non-profit status.

So far, as of press time, they have raised $250 of the $750 needed to make application. It has even slated a benefit concert fundraiser on March 26, 7 p.m., at The Pinhook, 117 W. Main St., in Durham, N.C. Tickets are $12.50. info: queerfishcenter.org. thetimesnews.com.

Triangle Singing groups concert announced

DURHAM, N.C. — Vox Virorum Men’s Chorus of the Triangle will host its first joint concert along with the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill Men’s Glee Club and the North Carolina State University Singing Statesmen will be held on March 26, 3 p.m., at First Presbyterian Church, 305 E. Main St. The three groups will join together on stage for choral singing, including Franz Biebl’s “Ave Maria” and “Swing Down, Chariot.”

The Men’s Glee Club is the oldest continually existing choral organization on the UNC-CH campus, with reports of performances dating back to at least 1892. Its repertoire is an eclectic mixture of sacred and secular music in all styles and from all periods. The group is conducted by Dr. Daniel Huff.

The Singing Statesmen perform both traditional and modern four-part men’s harmony in concerts and informal settings .The Statesmen are directed by Dr. Nathan Leaf.

Admission is free, however, a $10 suggested contribution is appreciated. info: trianglesings.org.

CMF host party upcoming

RALEIGH, N.C. — The Board and Court of Crape Myrtle Festival has announced its 2017 Crape Myrtle Festival Host Party, scheduled for April 8, 7 p.m., at the home of Lance and Maria Phillips, 522 N. Person St. The event is held to raise funds for the organization. Those who wish to attend should

RSVP online or by mailing in a donor/sponsorship form to Crape Myrtle Festival, Inc., P.O. Box 12201, Raleigh, NC 27605 or bring contributions to the party. Additionally, host donor package information is available online. It also includes details on various benefactor contribution levels and drag brunch sponsorships.

Last year, Crape Myrtle Festival contributed $60,000 to local AIDS-related organizations and LGBTQ causes. info: crapemyrtlefest.org.

Victim violence study released

RESEARCH TRIANGLE PARK, N.C. — LGBTQ individuals are at high risk for being victims of physical and sexual assault, harassment, bullying and hate crimes, according to a new study by RTI International.

The report, funded by RTI, involved RTI researchers who analyzed 20 years’ worth of published studies on violence and the LGBTQ community. It included 102 peer-reviewed papers, as well as a few unpublished analyses and non-peer-reviewed papers. With The Henne Group, RTI also carried out a series of focus-group discussions with LGBTQ communities in San Francisco, Calif., New York, N.Y., Durham, N.C. and rural Wyoming.

“Our research indicates that LGBTQ people face significant danger in their daily lives and that their victimization affects their education, safety and health,” said Tasseli McKay, a social scientist at RTI and the study’s lead author.

The researchers found that in a range of studies with LGBTQ individuals, victimization experiences were “clearly and consistently correlated with behavioral health conditions

and suicidality, sexual risktaking and HIV status, other long-term physical health issues, and decreased school involvement and achievement. Such effects are often sustained many years after a victimization event.”

The focus groups touched on a variety of topics including bullying, hate crimes, harassment and violence.

In a focus group held in Durham, N.C., a transgender participant said, “Once you’ve been read as being a trans person, you check out, they check out. For us it’s safety. For them, it’s discomfort. It’s a heightened stigmatization.”

Other key findings from the report included: Despite a public perception of greater acceptance of LGBTQ individuals in present-day society, disparities in victimization have remained the same or increased since the 1990s.

Of special concern were schools. “Many LGBTQ youth reported being afraid or feeling unsafe at school, and school-based victimization of LGBTQ youth was associated with decreased school attendance, poorer school performance, and steeply increased risk of suicide attempts,” RTI shared.

Contradicting the common perception of hate-related victimization as being committed by strangers or acquaintances, LGBTQ people are often victimized by close family members, particularly their own parents and, for bisexual women, their male partners.

“We need more research to better understand what policies will provide LGBTQ youth with safer school and home environments, what resources provide LGBTQ people who are victims of violence the best support and how we can ultimately create a larger societal climate that doesn’t tolerate persistent, pervasive, lifelong victimization,” McKay added. info: rti.org.

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food trucks, vendors and Yelp! beer games will be on hand to round out the day’s event.

Those who wish to cook up their own brews are welcome to apply for the Homebrewer’s Village.

Early bird tickets are on sale until April 1 at $15/general admission and $35/VIP. After April 1 tickets rise to $25/advance and $35/day of and include a commemorative festival mug, five free beer tickets, live entertainment, beer games competitions and access to the village. VIP tickets are $50/advance and $60/day of and include everything as detailed previously, in addition to 10 more beer tickets, VIP entrance, swag bag goodies, access to VIP Oasis shaded seating, VIP activities and private portable restrooms. Designated driver tickets are $15 and include admission to the festival, live entertainment, beer games and vendors. Ticket sales are available online.

Vendor and Homebrewer’s Village applications are being accepted. info: charlestonbeergarden.com.

Regional Former North Carolinian dies

PLANTATION, Fla. — South Florida activist, religious cantorial leader and community volunteer Michael Robert Greenspan died last month after a long illness. Greenspan was born in Asheville, N.C. and grew up in Charlotte, N.C. He was a graduate of the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill. He is survived among others by his husband, Jesse Monteagudo (a guest writer for qnotes).

Memorial services were held on March 21 at the LGBTQ Congregation Etz Chaim in Wilton Manors.

“Michael was an amazing, multi-faceted human being, and not just because he was the love of my life,” Monteagudo commented.

He added, “Michael was Congregation Etz Western Chaim’s unofficial cantor almost from the moment he arrived; and its official cantorial soloist PFLAG hosts panel from 1999 to 2011.” Greenspan received numerHENDERSONVILLE, N.C. — The Flat ous awards and honors for his contributions.

Rock-Hendersonville Chapter of Parents and Among them were: an honoree at Etz Chaim’s Friends of Lesbians and Gays will host a panel 35th Anniversary Gala in 2007 and Gay and discussion, “Religion, Sexual Orientation and Lesbian Community Center of South Florida, Gender Identity,” on April 3, 7 p.m., at Trinity now the Pride Center at Equality Park, as one Presbyterian Church, 900 Blythe St. of its “Stars of the Panelists include: Rabbi Rachel Rainbow” in 2008.

Jackson, Agudas Israel Congregation; Over the years, Rev. Mark Stanley, Trinity Presbyterian Greenspan was Church; Rev. Jim McKinley, Unitarian active with Pride Universalist Fellowship of Hendersonville; South Florida, the Rev. Joan Saniuk, Metropolitan Stonewall Library, Community Church Sacred Journey; South Florida Bears Rev. Debbie Early, New Creation and Saber MC. Church; and Rev. Richard Weidler, First “Michael often Congregational United Church of Christ. expressed the wish Jerry Miller, chapter president, will faciliMichael that we would grow tate the discussion.

Robert old together and The event is free and open to the public.

Greenspan retire to his beloved info: pflaghendersonville@gmail.com. birthplace of Asheville, N.C. Sadly, this was not meant to be. Towards the end, as dementia South Carolina ravaged his mind and his body, Michael lost the means to communicate effectively. Even so, I Beer garden tickets on sale like to think that, deep down inside, Michael MOUNT PLEASANT, S.C. — The Sixth was still the person that I loved and cared Annual Charleston Beer Garden benefiting for the past 32 years. Though Michael’s life is Lowcountry AIDS Services will be held on through, I still cherish the years that we spent May 20, 12 p.m., at Grove at Patriots Point, 40 together and he will always be part of my life, Patriots Point Rd. no matter what I do or who I meet in my reProceeds from the event will support maining years. Thank you, Michael, for making Lowcountry in its work helping people living my life worth living,” Monteagudo shared. with HIV/AIDS in the greater Charleston area, For those who wish to honor Greenspan, as well as its community outreach, education contributions may be made to Congregation and prevention programs.

Etz Chaim, 2038 N. Dixie Hwy., Wilton Manors, Participants are able to enjoy craft beers FL 33305. from over 20 breweries that will showcase more info: etz.chaim.com. than 40 different beers. Additionally, live music,

March 24-April 6 . 2017

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news notes: u.s./world compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

Cities honored for cultural diversity

Agenda; Ipas; Muslim American Women’s Policy Forum; Muslims for Progressive Values; NARAL Pro-Choice America; National Abortion Federation; National Asian Pacific American Women’s Forum; National Center for Lesbian Rights; National Council of Jewish Women; National Latina Institute for Reproductive Health; National LGBTQ Task Force; National Organization for Women; New Voices for Reproductive Justice; Orchid Project; Physicians for Reproductive Choice; Population Connection Action Fund; Population Institute; Promundo-US; Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice; Rise and Resist; SisterReach; SPARK Reproductive Justice NOW; UltraViolet; Washington Peace Center; and WIN. info: thetaskforce.org.

UN delegation includes opposition members

2017 City Cultural Diversity Awards recipients accepted their recognition at a presentation event in Washington, D.C. Mayor Doug Echols, Rock Hill, S.C. (far left), Councilmember Jeff McIntosh, WinstonSalem, N.C. (second from right) and Mayor Pro Tem Steve Rao, Morrisville, N.C. (far right), along with other city representatives, proudly hold their awards.

Photo Credit: National League of Cities

WASHINGTON, D.C. — At its 2017 Congressional City Conference in Washington, D.C., The National League of Cities recognized six cities for implementing programs that enhance and promote cultural diversity in their communities.

The City Cultural Diversity Awards recognize municipal programs that encourage citizen involvement and honor cities that develop creative and effective programs to improve and promote cultural diversity through a collaborative process with city officials, community leaders and residents.

Those honored were: 50,000 and under population — First Place, East Meets West Festival, Morrisville, N.C., and Second Place, Better Together Initiative, Decatur, Ga.; 50,001200,000 population — First Place, “Liberty and Justice for All” Freedom Walkway’s Ode to Civil Rights, Rock Hill, S.C., and Second Place, Westminster Inclusivity Board, Westminster, Colo.; and 200,001-500,000 — First Place, BIC Newcomers Pipeline, Winston-Salem, N.C., and second Place, Office of International and Immigrant Affairs, Aurora, Colo.

“The strength of our nation lies in the diversity of our cities and towns,” said National League of Cities President Matt Zone. “Across the country, municipal officials are taking the lead on creating policies that are more accessible to and more inclusive of their diverse residents.” info: nlc.org.

Orgs protest on Int’l Women’s Day

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Forty organizations protested in front of the White House on International Women’s Day on March 8.

The protest was organized by Abortion Care Network; Advocates for Youth; Amnesty International USA; AVAC; Black Women for Wellness; Catholics for Choice; Center for Health and Gender Equity; Feminist Majority Foundation; Global Fund for Women; Global Justice Center; HEALTH GAP Global Access Project; Ibis Reproductive Health; International Planned Parenthood Federation; International Planned Parenthood Federation — Western Hemisphere Region; International Women’s Health Coalition; In Our Own Voice: National Black Women’s Reproductive Justice

WASHINGTON, D.C. — On March 13 the United States Department of State announced that its official delegation to the 61st annual United Nations Commission on the Status of Women included representatives of two organizations known to oppose the United Nations human rights system, LGBTQ rights, and women’s sexual and reproductive health and rights: the Center for Family and Human Rights and the Heritage Foundation.

Breaking Glass Picture’s “Fair Haven” has been released on VOD/DVD and explores the perils of conversion therapy. info: bgpics.com.

urging of SAVE, the Village, located just outside of Miami, Fla., became the latest jurisdiction in South Florida to adopt such a ban. info: save.lgbt/endconversiontherapy.

In a historic 3-2 ruling, the Supreme Court of Wyoming found that a municipal judge violated the Code of Judicial Conduct and that samesex couples have the same constitutional right to be served by a judge who will “perform her judicial functions with impartiality.” info: equalityfederation.org.

Megan Phelps-Roper, a former member of the Westboro Baptist Church who preached hate, has now found understanding through Twitter. info: washingtonpost.com.

Money for AIDS treatment and care has been diverted to a crusade against affordable housing in California. info: joshkamensky.com.

Facing South has reported that there is an “all-out war against the judiciary” by the Republican right across the nation. info: facingsouth.org.

North Bay Village voted to enact its own local ban on so-called conversion therapy. At the

THROUGH

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The center is labeled a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. The Heritage Foundation called for a cut in funding for programs combatting violence against women and claims that anti-discrimination laws grant LGBTQ people “special privileges.”

Jessica Stern, executive director of OutRight Action International, shared her comments by saying, “In their Senate confirmation hearings, Secretary of State Tillerson and US Ambassador to the UN Nikki Haley repeatedly pledged to uphold the right to be free from discrimination as an American value. The appointment of these organizations to the official US delegation undermines their positions.”

She added, “I urge Secretary Tillerson and Ambassador Haley to ensure that the US delegation maintains non-discrimination at the CSW in the face of obvious pressure from these newly appointed members of the delegation.

Fundamentalist notions about how women and girls should behave should never be the basis of advising or negotiating US foreign policy. It is also a bad sign that two organizations that have tried to delegitimize the United Nations and human rights internationally now sit on the official US delegation. Maybe the violent mentality that got C-FAM labeled a hate group successfully panders to their base, but the US government must ensure protection for the world’s most vulnerable people.” info: outrightinternational.org.

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news

Andrew Garfield in “Angels in America” and Jude Law in “Obsession,” will hit theatres this summer. info: fathomevents.com.

The National Center for Transgender Equality will hold its Transgender Lobby Day on Capitol Hill from June 8-9. info: transequality.org.

The National Conference for HIV, HCV, and LGBT Health will be held from April 24-25 in Arlington, Va. info: healthlgbt.org.

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life

Health Beat

Lesbian couple rallies after serious illness ‘Miraculous’ recovery greeted with grace and humility

by Maria Dominguez :: qnotes staff

I

Upon the final transfer to Carolina’s Rehabilitation Center, was transferred to Carolina’s Medical Center on Blythe Blvd. in t’s a rare relationship that can last for 35 years, let alone rethe couple felt overwhelmed with gratitude. They have nothCharlotte, where she stayed a month in the ICU. main strong and supportive through the trials of health crises. ing but praise for the staff of Carolina’s Medical Centers, and “Those people became like extended family,” Miller said.

That’s just what Susan Miller, 58, and Cyteria Knight, 60, have: say that their unconventional family was treated with respect “It was very secure, they watch you 24 hours a day, and I was a love that flourishes no matter what fate flings their way. On and kindness. nervous about what the next step would be.”

Jan. 17, Knight suffered a serious stroke and was hospitalized “The way we’ve been treated here, I wanted a light to be But the next step was smooth and even pleasant when for almost two months — with Miller never leaving her side. shining on these wonderful people here who have been so Knight moved to a picturesque room in the 9th-floor neurology This isn’t the first time that the couple had to confront illaccepting of who we are,” Miller said. “Everyone has been so ward. Her recovery webpage at Caringbridge.com describes the ness. Miller was diagnosed with bone cancer years before, and gracious and so accepting. I’m sure from a professional standroom as “much brighter…enjoying a skyview and twinkling city Knight was as loyal and tender through the ordeal as Miller is point there are folks here who don’t accept who we are and our lights at night.” with her now. lifestyle, but they’ve been incredibly professional about it, and it’s “We suspect that my orthopedic oncologist had something “Cyteria’s taken care of me on at least two significant occanot been an issue at all.” to do with us getting the most amazing room there,” Miller told sions,” Miller said. “There’s been a lot of give and take through that “There are a lot of stand-outs,” said Knight of the medical qnotes. “He has a lot of clout, and he was aware of what hapkind of stuff.” team. “All these people come from different age brackets and pened. He had come to visit her in ICU.” This decades-long love story began in 1982, when Knight and different lifestyles, and they come Miller met while working at a children’s together as a team. They seem to center. Knight was a counselor and respect each other’s work, and Miller a clinical secretary. They have certainly care about the patients. moved together through careers dediYou can tell if people like their job cated to social work ever since. and are in it for the right reasons, “Pretty much since we’ve been and these people are.” together, we’ve been a package deal,” Despite the outstanding medical Miller smiled. care, Knight’s and Miller’s struggle While both were working for the dewasn’t limited to Knight’s physical partment of social services, a unique ophealth. The couple found themselves portunity to expand their family arrived. facing a dire predicament about “Susan’s coworker had a little girl on where to go after release; their only her case load and just thought, ‘I think obvious option was to move in with this would be a great match,’” Knight their daughter and her boyfriend, a explained. less than ideal possibility because of “I was her family social worker,” the delicate nature of Knight’s health.

Miller said. “We found out years later Then, an unexpected blessing: that I had worked with her mother when “I talked to my dad last night, she was a little girl and had no idea that and he’s paying an entire year’s years later I would end up adopting her worth of rent for us,” said Miller. “It’s daughter.” more of the miracle.”

It was at the home of their now-adult “This from a guy who really daughter, Raquanza Miller, and her boydoesn’t even acknowledge the famfriend, where Knight felt the initial onset ily, but he’s doing that nonetheless,” of her illness. said Knight. “He can’t be demon“It started because she described strative in the typical way, but he having the worst headache she ever does it his way.” had,” Miller said. “She passed out. I went With an apartment very close to next door and got a neighbor who helped the medical center where they were us get in touch with medic.” treated so well, Knight and Miller left They ended up at Carolina’s Medical the hospital on March 15, hopefully Center in Pineville, and Knight regained for good. Some symptoms remain consciousness and began to talk.

— blurry vision, shaky hands and However, a turn for the worse came a problem with balance — but the shortly after Knight underwent a CT scan. couple are tremendously grateful to “She came back and one eye rolled be right where they are. way back in her head, and her tongue got “This peace came over me, it stuck on her lip, and then they rushed her was very strange. I attribute it to [out],” Miller described with a shudder.

God,” Miller said. “No matter what Cyteria, whose clear voice and keen happens, things are going to be intelligence are blessings after an ordeal okay.” like that, has little recollection of the “I’m looking at this experience early days of her illness. For two days as—one I don’t want to repeat, after the crisis, Knight was in a medicalthank you Lord—as a way of ly-induced coma. getting me outside of myself and “I don’t recall falling ill. All I remempaying more attention to the world ber is waking up in various places,” around me,” Knight said. “My apKnight said. “I don’t know what happreciation for the little things that pened other than to tell you that folks Susan does, says, her mere preshave suggested that I was just flat as a ence in a room, I have a deeper pancake. Just staring, not able to talk, appreciation for that now…A room speak well, or anything.”

Medical staff person Dena Maliaot (left) was one of the many individuals who provided healthcare to Cyteria Knight (center) doesn’t seem complete without After the stroke, the road to recovery and support to her longtime partner Susan Miller (right) while Knight was in her recovery process as a result of a sudden Susan’s presence there.” : : illness in a medical care facility. Miller’s ability to recover to the extent she has has been considered ‘miraculous.’ was long and full of struggle. Cyteria

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life

Legal Eagles

Estate planning considerations for the LGBTQ community How to prepare for the inevitable

by Michael P. Pascale, Esq. :: guest contributor

[Ed. Note: In this issue, we introduce our new Legal Eagles column which will provide information, tips and resources for qnotes readers.]

On Oct. 10, 2014, the U.S. District Court for the Western District of North Carolina issued a permanent injunction preventing the State of North Carolina from enforcing laws that banned same-sex marriage.

In 2015, this was reinforced when the Supreme Court held, in the landmark case Obergefell v. Hodges, that the right to marriage was a fundamental right for same-sex couples. So now that LGBTQ partners are on the same playing field as opposite-sex partners in marriage, what does this mean for LGBTQ estate planning considerations?

In legalese, intestacy means the condition of being “without a will.” The first and most practical consideration for LGBTQ estate planning is to have a will drafted to make sure that assets are distributed per the individual’s wishes. The will is also where they can appoint a guardian for any biological and/or adopted children who are minors. A will is the centerpiece of any estate plan. If one person in the marriage passes away without a will, then their assets will be subject to the intestacy laws of the state in which they reside. In

North Carolina, this can have unintended consequences that may deprive the surviving spouse of a great deal of assets that they were supposed to receive.

In North Carolina, if one spouse dies leaving behind only their partner and their parents, then the parents could be entitled to half of the deceased person’s interest in real estate and half of any personal property of the deceased after the surviving spouse has received $100,000. For example, if an LGBTQ couple purchased a home in 2010 before Obergefell and they are not listed on the deed as “tenants by the entirety” or “joint tenants with the right of survivorship,” and the deceased also had assets totaling $150,000, then the unintended consequence is that the deceased person’s parents will receive a one-quarter interest in that real property and $25,000. Emotional issues aside, this can cause a great financial hardship for the surviving spouse or partner when they are suddenly faced with funeral expenses, probate costs, and other fees. Even worse, if the property was only deeded to the deceased spouse, then the parents would be entitled to a one-half interest in that real property.

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LGBTQ couples should spend time working and becoming comfortable with an attorney in order to create a solid estate plan that lays out what the couple wishes to achieve and provides for those who become the beneficiary of one’s estate.

Photo Credit: micromonkey via Adobe Stock

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Estate planning continued from page 15

Making sure that all of the paperwork associated with one’s estate is in order and matches the wishes and needs of those involved is a key element in LGBTQ couples and individuals estate planning.

Photo Credit: mangostar_studio via Adobe Stock

Anyone can bequeath real property and personal property to their intended beneficiaries, whether “family” or not, through a well drafted will.

Another important consideration for married and unmarried LGBTQ couples is to make sure that they have properly executed both durable and health care powers of attorney so that they can make important financial and health care decisions for each other if they become incapacitated. Married couples are often under the mistaken belief that by being married they automatically possess the power of attorney for the other spouse if something were to happen, but this is not always the case. Therefore, it is critical for estate planning purposes that a power of attorney be executed for each person so that the spouse or partner can make important financial and health care decisions in the event their significant other becomes incapacitated.

These are just a few considerations that LGBTQ couples should think about when looking toward their future with estate planning.

It is always recommended that any LGBTQ couple meet with an estate planning attorney that handles LGBTQ issues. At Barber Power Law Group, our experienced estate planning attorneys know the laws affecting the LGBTQ community and how to plan estates in compliance with these laws. : : — Michael P. Pascale, Esq. is an attorney with Barber Power Law Group in Charlotte, N.C.

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The intestacy laws are even less kind to long-term LGBTQ partners who have chosen not to marry. In this situation, North Carolina intestacy laws could award all the personal property and all the intestate real estate to the deceased partner’s parents. There is good news, however, because marriage is not a pre-requisite to having a will.

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daily news, and lgbt community event listings Sign up for our weekly e-newsletter: goqnotes.com/subs

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tell trinity

by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

Is foreskin holding back your sex life?

Dear Trinity, After three months together, my boyfriend suddenly revealed that he’s uncomfortable with me being uncut. In fact, he has “cut” out oral sex completely. How do I keep from feeling self-conscious?

Cut To The Chase, Minneapolis, MN Dear Cut To The Chase, According to Madison Avenue marketing giants, “Men’s sexual desires change with the right marketing strategy.” Thus, like any “American” male, he can be remarketed toward appreciating your “European” feature.

So first, buy some adult magazines that feature “European” men and leave them around.

Second, rent some XXX videos that coincidentally also feature “European” men and see if he starts a new fetish. And lastly, darling, make sure you always clean and smell fresh down there. This can often be a problem that doesn’t get discussed! I learned the hard way, while living in Montreal for five years. Now keep your head high!

Trinity’s Timely Tips For Things You Should Have By Your Fortieth Birthday 1. You should have something invested in an IRA, the stock market or some sort of property, (besides an old car)!

2. If you don’t have health or life insurance now, put this list down and start searching the internet!

3. If you’re still fighting with your siblings, parents or childhood sweetheart…move on and forgive everyone in your past, today!

4. B y now you should have or have had a boyfriend, a mistress, a best friend or a long-term pet (fish not included).

5. H air-color, teeth whitening and nose clippers better be products you respect, not reject!

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6. If you still can’t cook, clean or keep good financial records, then you better be great in bed!

7. If the terms: exercise, health food, a good night sleep or positive thoughts make no sense to you, then they better start to!

8. According to Joan Rivers, “the key to looking youthful is staying in style, “ so an updated waredrobe is paramount!

9. I f you’re dating a 20 year old and your friends get jealous, remember, 20 goes into 40 a hell of lot more than 40 goes into itself!

10. L astly, half of your life may be over, so live, love, laugh, do everything at least once, oh and say yes as often as you can! : : info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

Dearest Trinity, I’m thinking about joining the gym, but I’m very intimidated by all those “beautiful” people. How can I get past that?

Gym Crunch, Raleigh, NC Dearest Crunched, Start with a trainer who will make you focus on them. Find a sexy one. It helps!

And, honey, remember this phrase:” Fake it till you make it!” (I sure can fake it on the exercise floor, especially if I’m not actually touching the floor! Check out my cartoon to see how I do it. Back to the count…and three and four.)

Hi Trinity, My boyfriend and I have been dating for five years. But he still lives with his parents who keep him financially secure. He’s also closeted and still hasn’t met my family. I’m tired of sleeping alone and going home alone for the holidays. Is that awful?

Five-Year Itch, New York City, NY Hi Itchy, Five years, in the closet and still living at home? And you’re now getting tired. You must be the illegitimate son of Mother Theresa. Pumpkin, you finally want a “real” life and you’re asking if that’s awful! On the contrary, it’s wonderful! Take off your holy robe, sit his butt down and have the “talk!”

Tell him your needs, and come out of the closet with some new agreements. If he won’t come out and play like a grown up after five years, then take a break from him.

Absence makes the heart grow smarter. You deserve it all!

Hey Trinity, My partner is turning 40 in a month. What is the best gift?

Forty Thoughts, Ft. Lauderdale FL Hey Forty Thoughts, I don’t know your partner, but I do know about turning fo… fo… fo… forty. So, sweetie, buy him a gift card and stick this in it:

March 24-April 6 . 2017

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On Stage

Cumming around again An interview with Alan Cumming

by Gregg Shapiro :: guest contributor

A

lan Cumming is a gay renaissance man. He sings, he dances, he writes, he acts — there doesn’t seem to be anything he can’t do. Few people can also claim the size and scope of his audience — from youngsters who know his voice from animated features such as “Strange Magic” and “The Smurfs” to adults who are fans of his work on television (“The Good Wife” and “Web Therapy”), on stage (“Cabaret”), on film (“Any Day Now,” “X-Men 2” and “Burlesque”) and on the page (his memoir “Not My Father’s Son”). Cumming’s latest musical endeavor, the live recording “Alan Cumming Sings Sappy Songs” (Yellow Sound), is another chance to experience the man in all of his splendor.

Gregg Shapiro: The last time we spoke I interviewed you about “I Bought A Blue Car Today,” your first album, which was a studio effort. Your new album “Alan Cumming Sings Sappy Songs” is a live album recorded at Café Carlyle, based on your show of the same name. What was behind the decision to record a live disc for your second release?

AC: It was because I feel the songs and the show are so connected. I feel they’re emotional songs that I chose because I have some connection to them. I feel that they actually work best in that moment with an audience. Usually, there’s a story I’ve told that leads up to why I’m singing the song. The whole concept of the show was about being authentic and connecting with these

songs. The best way to do that was in a room with an audience and for people to listen to that.

GS: Would you please say something about your use of the word “sappy,” which has a positive not pejorative meaning in the context of the album’s title?

AC: It’s interesting, for me sappy means sentimental and something that gets you in your heart, gets you emotional. That’s what I mean. Also, of course, it means that I’m slightly setting up the audience that there’s a bit of fun involved, as well. “Don’t be so sappy” is kind of a nice way of saying to someone, “I get why you’re being emotional about this, but don’t go too far with it.” I’m saying to the audience, “Be warned — you’re going to be moved, but at the same time it’s going to be a lot of fun.” That’s why I did it. I like alliteration as well. But, also, these are songs that I find have a message in them that is a lovely sentiment and is often intensely emotional.

GS: I’m glad you said that, because one of the things that I found surprising about the song selection on “…Sappy Songs” is that you sing not one, but two Billy Joel songs, “Goodnight, Saigon” and “And So It Goes.” Do you think Billy Joel gets the respect that he deserves?

AC: Personally, I don’t. I think he’s an amazing songwriter.

Because what I think he does is capture a feeling in his songs.

He captures emotion. “Goodnight, Saigon,” is an incredible song about war and about how it damages people and how people would get PTSD, and also how people are so disregarded by their governments. “And So It Goes” is such a beautiful song in terms of it saying that you’re always going to be able to love again. The idea that even though things have happened to you and you’ve closed off, one day you’re going to say, “OK, you can break my heart if you want to. I’m ready for it.” It’s something we’ve all done and we can all relate to and yet it’s very intricate and detailed. I think he’s a genius and I love singing his songs. I’m looking forward to singing more of them. I think sometimes when you know songs from someone who’s a singer/songwriter that maybe their style or the time they were recorded evokes something in you that is actually different from what the song is, or could, be about. I’ve always loved Billy Joel and going back and listening to his songs again I’ve rediscovered an appreciation for what a poet he is.

GS: You know how cabaret artists or vocalists will do a songbook album? Do you think you might ever do a Billy Joel songbook album?

AC: Maybe. There are others I would like to do. It might be something I do in the future, maybe for my next show. “Billy and Alan.”

Alan Cumming.

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GS: You also found a place for Stephen Sondheim in the show. What does Sondheim mean to you as a performer?

AC: He’s incredibly clever and incredibly full of ideas that are so stimulating. The song I sing, “Ladies Who Lunch,” I sang in a workshop version of “Company” where some of the gender and the sexuality of some of the characters were being changed. I was playing the Elaine Stritch role. That’s why I started singing that song. In the course of working on it, I’d

always loved the song and Elaine’s interpretation of it, but after looking at it for a few weeks (I discovered that) it’s not actually at all what I thought it was about. With all of these songs that are well-known, I think I’m trying to say, “Listen to this again. It might not be what you thought.” This is a huge example of that. It’s a searing, lashing out at everyone. It’s not just about the ladies who lunch. (I think he’s saying) the people that you might mock the most, give them a break, it’s hard for everyone. It’s beautiful and much more nuanced and detailed. It’s not a funny song, but I love the fact that the second line is “Everybody laugh.” When I do it in concert, (sings) “Here’s to the ladies who lunch,” usually there are a few titters, and then comes “Everybody laugh,” and I think the response is, “Oh, it’s not what we thought.” I’ve never performed in a Sondheim show and I’ve only performed a few of his songs in public, and this one I’ve recorded, and I end my show with it . I drink an actual martini while I’m singing it.

GS: It doesn’t hurt your throat?

AC: No, but I do feel pretty smashed. I slug a whole martini during the course of the song [laughs].

GS: I also appreciate the way that you worked popular new songs into your repertoire, including tunes by Rufus Wainwright, Keane, Miley Cyrus, Adele, Lady Gaga and Katy Perry. How important do you think it is for cabaret artists to include that kind of contemporary material in their sets?

AC: It’s important for me. If you are a cabaret artist and you are mostly singing other people’s songs, you’re asking them to rethink a song, listen to it in a different way. The most impact you can have while asking them to re-listen to a song is if it’s a song they know very well. Often for me, if I hear a song I know, it clicks for me and I hear it in a different way and I think, “I could sing that song. I’ve got something to say about that song. Wanting to connect with an audience and wanting them to rethink songs; it is actually important to do songs they’re familiar with. Also, I love those songs. In a way, I think I’ve changed people’s perceptions of what a cabaret show like this could be.

GS: The music world suffered a number of significant losses in 2016 with the passing of David Bowie, Leonard Cohen, Prince, Sharon Jones and others. Do you have a favorite Bowie song?

AC: I’m a big fan of “Changes.” It’s an amazing song.

GS: Do you think you might cover a Bowie song at some point?

AC: I would love to sing some of his songs in the future. I’m actually going to do a project later in the year, a cabaret based on a painter. The painter had lived in Berlin and Bowie is so connected to Berlin. I’m just forming that show in my mind right now. I was so lucky I did a little bit of that “Lazarus” show at (New York) Theater Workshop. I knew him a little bit over the years. One of my most prized possessions is this email from him — I actually laminated it [laughs] — after he came to see me in “Macbeth.”

I was so blown away — he wrote me this really beautiful email about my performance.

GS: On “…Sappy Songs” you make mention of “The Good Wife,” which has come to an end. What did being a part of that show mean to you?

AC: It’s been an incredible thing for me. I think it’s such a wellwritten show. To play a character for that length of time who is so loved. I think Eli’s a great character, and I am so happy to have been able to play him. To be in a show that is so nuanced and doesn’t tell people what to think — I think it’s actually morally ambivalent — and I think that’s really grown up. I’m full of praise for the writers. Also, in a personal way, to be at home in New York for nine months of the year and have that stability and structure and financial security has been a great thing. It’s enabled me to have the time and luxury to do lots of other things like this (cabaret) show. I probably wouldn’t have been able to write my book if it hadn’t been for “The Good Wife.” It’s allowed me to be very creative while doing something that I really enjoy and that I’m proud of. : :

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Women’s Health

Awareness month focuses on women’s healthcare issues March is Women’s History Month, a time when we remember women throughout time who have made contributions to the world. But it does not have to stop there. What about the women of today? What about their health? With that in mind, it’s the perfect time to take a moment to think not only about your health as a woman, but also about the health of the women you know and love!

Heart disease continues to be one of the leading causes of death in women. To help combat this, try to work more exercise into your schedule, like a walk in the park in the beautiful weather we have been lucky to have lately, and also try to work more heart-healthy foods, like fish and nuts, into your and your loved ones’ diets. Small changes can make a big difference, and any positive change helps!

In addition to heart disease, breast cancer is also a disease that commonly affects women. Breast self-

exams are a great way to detect any changes that might need to be brought up with a doctor. Monthly breast self-exams are most beneficial as this helps you more accurately detect any changes in the breast tissue from month to month. To make sure that you remember to perform an exam each month, make a point of performing one on the first day of each month to make sure you don’t forget! Also make sure to keep the other women in your life accountable for their breast selfexams by reminding them to do theirs on the first of the month as well. This helps to keep not only yourself accountable, but your loved ones as well!

As we as women grow older, our bodies change, and as a result, we need to focus on making sure that we are getting different nutrients.

Calcium is a major nutrient that our bodies need as we grow older to make sure that our bones stay strong. Milk, yogurt, and calcium supplements are all great ways to make sure that there is enough calcium in your body. Weight-baring exercises are another way to help make the bones strong. Using dumbbells within your workout will help to build not only muscles,

but also super strong bones. Finally, making sure that you are getting enough vitamin D is another way to help keep those bones strong. Going outside in the sunshine for as little as 15 minutes a day can help increase the vitamin D levels within your body, and also makes sure that we are all getting some fresh air every now and then!

Finally, menopause is an inevitable change all women will go through. Typically, women go through menopause between the ages of 48-55, but some women may experience symptoms sooner or later, just depending on the person. During this time, a woman’s hormone levels will change dramatically, which causes the symptoms that are associated with menopause. If you are experiencing drastic changes and symptoms, talk with your doctor about what hormone replacement therapy might be available to help reduce these symptoms and make the transition to post-menopause a smooth one.

While women have different health concerns to worry about, it’s important to remember that living a healthy lifestyle is the most important thing, and as stated earlier, any small change helps, so start small today!

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health and wellness

by Jack Kirven :: personal trainer, qnotes contributor

8 Patterns of Wellness — Part 8 of 8: Rest In this series, I’m going to share some thoughts about the eight patterns that comprise the program that is Integre8t Wellness. With these fundamentals in place, you can expect to see enhanced results from your fitness plan.

The eighth pattern is rest. It encompasses more than sleep, although that’s the most fundamental element of this practice. Sleep, fasting between meals, time between sets during exercise sessions, days between training, personal time, play: All of these (and more) are opportunities to give yourself the ability to process and recover from all the living you do. As with everything, there’s a balance: Too little rest, and you’ll undermine everything else you’re trying to accomplish. Rest too much, and you won’t accomplish much of anything at all (which could be good, given the circumstances of a particular situation).

Sleep Each person needs a different amount of consistent sleep to feel refreshed. Journaling tracks patterns and how often you veer from them. Honestly, I veer so much so frequently that I know this will be my most challenging pattern for a while. Small steps!

Sleep hygiene is of the utmost importance.

Your bedroom is for sleep and intimacy only.

Avoid bringing electronics into your sleep space. If they have to be there, power them off.

Remove any sources of blue light. Blue light signals your brain that dawn is coming, which then turns off the production of sleep hormones.

Work is to be done outside the bedroom, reading included. Set your devices’ screens to shift colors to night mode in the hours leading up to bedtime, and avoid looking at them for 15 minutes before lying down for the night.

Sleep is sacrosanct. It’s the only time you heal and grow. Your mental computer needs to do a memory transfer and dump. Your muscles have to stitch themselves back together.

Your spirit needs time to drift away from the headlines on the news. Without sleep, you’ll undermine your performance across the board.

Fasting I’m going to take a position that will offend many personal trainers: Eating six small meals per day is ridiculous (unless under a doctor’s order). Stop doing that. You won’t lose fat eating that way. If you always eat, you’ll always have elevated insulin and cortisol levels. Allow your digestive tract to rest, and let your body have a chance to access the energy it’s stored.

I recommend intermittent fasting to those whose metabolisms allow it. I personally prefer the 8:16 model (eat all your daily calories during an eight-hour window, fasting four hours before that window and fours hours after it, and then sleep eight hours).

Rest between sets This is a place where people often have too much rest. If your exertion is low, your rest between sets should be short. The harder you work, the more rest you should take. For endurance training, take no more than one minute of rest between sets. For hypertrophy, aim for two or three minutes. And for strength training, which is intensely draining, plan for up to five minutes of rest.

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Days between training sessions Beginners, and those who don’t exert themselves particularly intensely, can exercise more often. They should probably be doing full-body circuits or something that includes at each session all the major muscle groups. They don’t have to heal as much, so they should train much more frequently, even daily. At such low intensities, it’s fine doing strength and conditioning on the same days. First do the activity that is a higher priority for your goals, so that you’re at full energy capacity when you do it.

Those at the intermediate level need more rest. Depending on the intensity of the sessions, activities will need days of separation.

Conditioning at greater speed, distance and/or resistance will need to start being separated from strength training, so that both can be performed at higher standards. For strength, create a simple split, so that each muscle group is worked two or three times during the week. If you do both strength and conditioning the same day, begin with strength training. End with conditioning.

For those who are advanced, generally speaking, conditioning and strength should be kept to separate days to allow the central nervous system time to heal. At this point, you’re likely to be working out to an intensity that requires multiple days of rest between sessions.

You’ll be conditioning so hard that you probably shouldn’t think of doing strength the same day and vice versa. For strength, you’ll need to split the body into more and more specific days, so that each muscle group is hit hard only one or perhaps two times per week. At this point, I really do recommend you not do conditioning and strength during the same session, or even on the same day. This is especially true if you do high intensity interval training and/or high volume strength patterns.

Personal time Each person needs some waking time to think, breathe and refocus. Working at anything repeatedly to the point of exhaustion is very destructive to wellness. You have to accept that your mind and body (and spirit if you want to go to that level) need short opportunities to recover. Often you’ll come back to your maximum ability after only a little time, and this allows you to be far more productive than running marathons on a daily basis. Take breaks!

Play This itself may or may not be restful, depending on what you’re doing; however it’s vital to let off steam doing something you truly enjoy. If you work hard, you should play hard (and sensibly), and then you’ll need to rest hard.

As with anything, balance and moderation are important, so choose your play wisely, and then enjoy it to the maximum. Once you come down from the high, be sure to leave plenty of time to find stillness. Play, like work, makes demands on you, and you need enough sleep after both. : : info: Jack Kirven completed the MFA in Dance at UCLA, and earned certification as a personal trainer through NASM. His wellness philosophy is founded upon integrated lifestyles as opposed to isolated workouts. Visit him at jackkirven.com and INTEGRE8Twellness.com.

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EVENTS March-April 2017 Continues through March 26 Young & College Democrats State Convention Greensboro The Young & College Democrats of North Carolina will hold their annual state convention in Greensboro. It is billed as a “chance for you to meet and join North Carolina’s and America’s next leaders.” Attendees will work to grow leadership in the state, and discuss ways to advance the Democratic agenda in both Raleigh and Washington, D.C. Ticket prices vary.

More information and tickets are available online. ydnc.org/convention_2017

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You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a three-for-one entry. All Charlottearea events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes.com), Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce (clgbtcc.org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com).

‘Artstravanganza’ SEP MAR MO presented by Different Roads Home Le Méridien Charlotte 555 S. McDowell St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m.

The benefit event will be co-hosted by Ramona Holloway and live music will be provided by Cindy Alexander. Local and national artists will be in attendance.

A cash bar will be available and hors d’oeuvres will be served. Early bird tickets are $40 until March 24, $50/general admission and $75/VIP. Purchase includes a $25 bid credit, discount parking and hors d’oeuvres. Tickets and more information are available online. differentroadshome.org

8th Annual AIDS Walk & High Heel Dash First United Methodist Church 311 3rd Ave. NE., Hickory

9 a.m.

AIDS Leadership Foothills-Area Alliance (ALFA) hosts its annual AIDS Walk & High Heel Dash event. The two-mile walk will end with a community celebration and High Heel Dash at Taft Broome Park, 115 7th Ave. SW. Registration for the walk is $25, while In honor of Women’s History Month, the dash is free to participants. Lunch the Gantt Center is hosting an evening will be provided by John Boy and will be celebrating the life and work of Dr. available for a small fee. All funds raised Maya Angelou. The evening begins with a screening of the PBS “American benefit ALFA’s HIV/AIDS prevention, Masters” documentary “Maya Angelou: detection and medical case management work in the local community. Register, and And Still I Rise.” Attendees can then receive more information, online. explore the exhibitions in the center’s alfainfo.org four galleries, including a special popNew Frequencies at up exhibit of artwork from students of SEP MAR MO McColl Center: Northwest School of the Arts. Tickets John Darnielle are $10 for general admission and $5 for Alliance for Full Acceptance SEP APR MO McColl Center for Art and members. More information and tickets Oyster Roast Innovation Bowens Island are available online.

721 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 1870 Bowens Island Rd., ganttcenter.org 8-9:30 p.m.

Charleston –––––––––––––––––––– Author and musician 4 p.m.

John Darnielle (“The The Flaming Lips Alliance for Full Acceptance, the South Mountain Goats”) will The Fillmore Carolina-based group that works to read from his second 820 Hamilton St., Charlotte bring acceptance and equality to LGBTQ novel “Universal 8 p.m. people, is hosting an oyster roast.

Harvester.” His debut The Flaming Lips has been making Participants can enjoy oysters, chili, hot novel, “Wolf in White music together for over 30 years and dogs, beer, wine and soft drinks. Tickets Van,” was a New put on one of the more spectacular live are $25/ adults advance, $30/ adults at the York Times bestseller, shows attendees are going to witness. door and $15/youth under 21. More infora National Book Award nominee and a They bring their lush, psychedelic mation and tickets are available online. finalist for the Los Angeles Times Book sounds and otherworldly stage show affa-sc.org Prize for First Fiction. More information to Charlotte on their tour to support the and tickets are new album, “Oczy Mlody.” Ticket prices available online. vary and are available online. j.mp/JohnDarnielleMcCollCenter fillmorecharlottenc.com

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–––––––––––––––––––– Continues through March 26 ‘The Heart is a Lonely Hunter’ Staged Reading Frock Shop 901 Central Ave., Charlotte Times vary A staged reading of novelist Carson McCullers’ book “The Heart is a Lonely Hunter” will take place over three nights: March 24 at 8 p.m., March 25 at 8 p.m. and March 26 at 5 p.m. McCullers began work on the acclaimed novel while living in Charlotte, finishing it in Fayetteville. She would have turned 100 this year. More information and tickets are available online. bit.ly/2mBwyUQ.

SEED20 OnStage Knight Theater at Levine Center for the Arts 430 S Tryon St., Charlotte 6:30-9 p.m.

Charlotte non-profits take to the stage to share their stories at SEED20 OnStage, Social Venture Partners’ 6th annual program that spotlights and supports the region’s most innovative ideas for tackling pressing social challenges. A total of 20 non-profits will present, with a catered reception and open bar to follow. Tickets cost $85 and are available through CarolinaTix at carolinatix.org/ events/detail/seed20-on-stage. More information is available online. seed20.org

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Prohibition Gala and Green Party 2017 Cadillac Service Garage 304 W. Market St., Greensboro

7 p.m.

The Guilford Green Foundation hosts a gala in Great Gatsby style. A silent auction will take place with bidding online at bit.ly/2lxypZw. Tickets cost $175. More information and tickets are available online. ggfnc.org

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New Frequencies at ‘Maya Angelou: And Still I Rise’ Harvey B. Gantt Center 551 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 5:30-8:30 p.m.

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life

Our People:

Q&A with Torie Dominguez Charlottean talks friends, family, activism and retail-based epiphanies

by Jeff Taylor :: qnotes staff Torie Dominguez is a Charlottean born and raised, who left the city to pursue dreams of diplomacy, but returned upon realizing that being close to family meant more to her than she might once have imagined. She shared with us her insights into life, work and the importance of presenting yourself honestly to the world.

Where are you from originally (if not Charlotte, N.C.)?

I was born and raised here; my parents still live in the house where I celebrated my fourth birthday. They’re city folk, though — my mom spent most of her childhood in New Orleans, and my dad’s from the Bronx — so I’m possibly the biggest Yankee ever to be raised south of the Mason-Dixon line.

How did you end up coming back to Charlotte?

My ending up back in Charlotte is more of a story than how I got here in the first place. I moved to New York after high school to study international politics at New York University, which I absolutely loved. My dream was to be a diplomat, learn a million languages, travel the world leaving peace and awesomeness in my wake. My hometown wasn’t part of the plan.

But as I’ve gotten older, being near my family has become, perhaps ironically, much closer to essential than it was when I was 17.

I understand you are involved in social justice activism. How did you get involved in that work, and what does that look like?

I actually don’t take part in as much formal activism as I’d like to. On a daily basis, though, I make a conscious, concerted effort not to take part in the tacit denial of self that the legal scholar Kenji Yoshino discusses in his book “Covering: The Hidden Assault on Our Civil Rights,” a text passed on to me by a close friend who also happens to be my very favorite delightfully offbeat academic. To cover is to downplay the aspects of our identity that others might find objectionable or simply odd; it’s not lying, but it’s not telling the whole truth, and it’s so ingrained in us that we may not even notice we’re doing it.

I cover when I elect not to mention my Cuban heritage, lest anyone deem my skin too pale, or my Spanish too stilted, for me to be really Hispanic. Most often, though, covering has meant identifying myself as bisexual rather than pansexual. To state my orientation with complete honesty can require not only defining the word for those who aren’t aware of it, but opening the big gay can of worms that is my contempt for the gender binary. But here’s the problem: those are things people need to hear. Ignorance breeds fear, and fear breeds anger.

Telling the truth, refusing to participate in the quiet devaluation of the identity of my gender nonbinary friends, refusing to endorse even tacitly a social construct I believe to be profoundly damaging — it may not sound like activism, and maybe it isn’t, but I’ve found it to be both more

frightening and more powerful than I could have imagined.

What do you like to do on a lazy Sunday?

Step 1: Place a stack of at least half a dozen books within arm’s reach, so that when I get bored mid-sentence I can switch volumes like changing channels on TV when you’ve got a hundred options and nothing to watch.

Step 2: Place my laptop within equally easy reach, for when I drop the pretense of having an attention span.

Step 3: Confirm that my tummy is available for kneading by any sweet orange cat who should happen by.

There is no step 4.

What’s something even people who know you pretty well would be surprised to learn about you?

It always blows my mind to discover that someone who spends a fair amount of time in my company thinks of me as an extrovert. Upon reflection, I suppose [I] can understand how that misconception would come about — if I had to guess, I’d say it has something to do with the fact that I never stop talking — but I consider any presentation of myself as a social creature to be a sort of open-ended improvisational theater. It’s conceivable that it draws on a genuine aspect of my personality, but the reality is that it’s my one foray into the world of performance art.

What is something you have learned by working at White Rabbit?

I’ve been delighted to discover the extent to which my ridiculous middle and high school education (if you don’t know what the International Baccalaureate program is, congratulations on all the mental breakdowns that didn’t dominate your adolescence) can be applied to the sale of men’s underwear, vintage magazines and anything and everything that can possibly be made rainbow.

What’s your favorite food?

Asian food is great for me because it offers a lot of vegetarian options. There’s a little Vietnamese place near my house whose rice noodles with tofu and vegetables I doubt I’ll ever get sick of. It’s been a dozen years since I ate meat, and it definitely doesn’t feel like a sacrifice.

If you could have one super power, what would it be?

Does telekinesis count? As a kid I wanted very much to be Matilda, from the Roald Dahl book, although if I had to choose between her psychic ability and her intellect, I’d go with the intellect. Unfortunately, my short-sighted parents insisted on being all kind and loving all the time, so I was never properly motivated to develop my powers. : :

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