QNotes, April 8-21, 2016

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LGBT Diversity!

It’s not elementary when it comes to the ABCs and XYZs of LGBT diversity and labels Sexual orientation comes in as many colors as there are in the rainbow, each with it own uniqueness and identity. page 18 & 19

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qnotes news & features

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arts. entertainment. news. views.

11 Trans Day of Visibility rally 12 News Notes: Regional Briefs 14 News Notes: U.S./World Briefs

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a&e / life&style 17 18 19 21 22 23

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Brandy Alexander remembered ABCs of LGBT XYZs of LGBT Tell Trinity Q Events Calendar Dishing with Buff Faye

opinions & views 9 What diversity inclusion is and is not 9 Spiritual Reflections 10 Staff Commentary

more news & features

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Buff Faye’s tips for fighting back

Diversity & inclusion in the workplace

It’s time to #FLUSHMCCRORY & Repeal HB2 and there’s a host of tips on how to get started. page 23

Exploring race and gender on the job scene can be an exercise in understanding differences. page 9

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In this issue: Exploring diversity in the LGBT community We take a look at a variety of ways that diversity plays out in our lives. One way it does more quickly is when we look at sexual orientation and labels, however that comes with some complexities when you discover your authentic self. Other ways play out at work or in our community. All in all, we truly are a rainbow of individuals.

What diversity and inclusion is and is not Exploring race and gender in the workplace

by Stan Kimer, qnotes contributor

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So what is not legitimate diversity and ins a diversity consultant, I do get into a lot clusion? It is anything that propagates that one of interesting discussions. One discusform of diversity is the only form acceptable or sion which can be quite controversial is is superior to other forms of diversity. around people who believe that it is their right An example — let’s assume a man may within diversity to issue derogatory or “less want to place a poster in than” statements about his work space that says other groups. I believe “Marriage = One Man + that is totally unacceptOne Woman” and claim able and not part of that is his right under legitimate diversity and a company’s diversity inclusion. Let me explain policy. I disagree. This and provide some poster creates a hostile examples. workplace for those in First, I do want to same-gender relationshare that the diversity ships since its intent is to topic has progressed declare that only heteroover the decades from sexual relationships are diversity and tolerance legitimate. It would be far to diversity and inclusion. better for this employee Tolerance is more about to show his love for hetaccepting difference, erosexual marriage with sometimes even grudga photo of him and his ingly. Inclusion means to wife with a caption such fully accept others who This poster shares its message in a as “I love my marriage” are different as equals, positive and inclusive way. or “I love my wife.” This deserving of full equal celebrates his diversity as a heterosexual rights, and realizing that the workplace and the man without putting down other options. world are stronger because of the diversity that So what about supporting the “Black Lives is in it. Diversity and inclusion should be a comMatter” campaign in the workplace? That is petitive advantage for companies that want to fine because it makes a statement about supwin in the marketplace and organizations that porting the diversity of Black people without want to provide superior customer service.

minimizing those of another race. What would not be acceptable is a poster that states “Only Black Lives Matter” or “Black Lives Matter more.”

Human Resources Diversity Practitioners will need to continue to educate all in the workplace that diversity and inclusion is a practice that values and includes everyone without putting others down or propagating that one aspect of diversity is better than another.

Additional diversity and inclusion related blogs: A blog that explores the two theories of diversity — melting pot and salad bowl. bit.ly/1YAnvLF “The Various Growing Types of Diversity” — over the past decades, diversity has expanded so much further beyond the gender and race areas. bit.ly/1JtUhH8 A discussion on “Diversity as a Key Strategic Initiative.” bit.ly/1V5TKSy The Business Case for Diversity also provides a methodology for developing a financial business case to invest in diversity programs. bit.ly/1NKZhJn And finally — “Three Components of Diversity and Inclusion Training.” bit.ly/1NKZlcb

by Rabbi Eric M. Solomon :: guest contributor

arts. entertainment. news. views. goqnotes.com twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue Buff Faye, Stan Kimer, Lainey Millen, Rabbi Eric M. Solomon, Jeff Taylor, Trinity, Shane Windmeyer

front page Graphic Design by Lainey Millen Photography: Paulista via Adobe Stock Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBT and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBT life and social justice issues.

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Breaking free from the yoke of slavery and Jacob. God looked upon the Israelites and took notice of them.”

Interestingly, we learn from these verses that God, the Omnipresent One, heard the Hebrews’ plea only after they made the choice to cry aloud.

One might reasonably ask: Didn’t the Almighty God already know that there was enormous pain being held within their hearts?

Wasn’t it obvious?

In all likelihood, yes. But, the Torah comes to teach that God resists intervening in the lives of human beings even when there is difficulty.

First, God wants us to state our case. Not only for the sake of God, but, perhaps, even more importantly, for ourselves.

There is an apocryphal story about Nelson Mandela in which he was asked, “After twenty-nine years in prison, when precisely did you know you were free?” His answer: “The first time I spoke out against the oppressor.

That was when I knew I was free.”

When I turned back to this courageous man on my couch, I was overcome with compassion. Here was a human being who was struggling mightily with his sexual orientation compounded by the fact that he was a father, a husband, and a faithful Christian who felt

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spiritual reflections A few years ago, a middle-aged man came into my office, sat down on the couch, and, after a few niceties, poured out his heart.

“Rabbi,” he said, “I’m a believing Christian, active in my church. I’m married to the love of my life, and we have two beautiful teenagers that I love more than life itself.”

After a few words of welcome, I asked, “So why are you meeting with me, a rabbi?”

He paused, holding back tears: “Because I have a problem that I needed to discuss with a person of faith. I am attracted to men. Rabbi, I think I’m gay, and I can’t talk to my pastor about it, nor my friends. And especially not my wife.

What can I do?”

This unforgettable encounter comes to my mind as we, in the Jewish community, prepare for the holiday of Passover, and especially the seder, a celebratory meal in which Jews and their guests sit at festive tables to re-tell the miraculous journey of the ancient Hebrews’ exodus from Egypt.

In chapter 2 of the Book of Exodus, the Torah details the Hebrews’ suffering under the weight of Egyptian bondage. Because of their pain, the Hebrews cry out and, in response, “God heard their moaning. God remembered the covenant with Abraham, Isaac

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unwelcome to share his soul struggles with his own pastor. He was experiencing his own type of slavery, locked in a life that did not reflect who he was at his core.

I wish that I could have offered him advice that would magically make his problems go away. I did what I could by honoring his suffering, reminding him that he was created in the Image of God, and gently encouraging him to be honest with his loved ones. By speaking his truth with me, he had taken the bold first step from slavery to freedom. Still, he was in for a long, complicated journey that could only continue with words delivered from his own lips.

I never encountered this man again. I do not know what he chose to do next, if he shared his secret with his family or perhaps began a conversation with his minister.

What I do know is that the Passover story began when an imprisoned people decided to give voice to their suffering. I also know that the Exodus concluded with a vision of the Promised Land.

I pray that he makes it to the Promised Land, too. : : — Rabbi Eric M. Solomon is the rabbi at Beth Meyer Synagogue in Raleigh, N.C.

Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2016 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

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staff commentary

by Jeff Taylor :: social media editor

How the struggle for LGBT rights both is and is not like the 1960s Civil Rights Movement, and why that matters During Charlotte’s public forum to discuss expanding the city’s non-discrimination ordinance to include LGBT persons, an AfricanAmerican man in my small group spoke up and said that he was opposed to hearing the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s compared with the current struggle for LGBT rights.

I don’t believe it had been brought up that night, but certainly the comparison was not a new one and I assumed he had read it in some comment section or something in one of the articles or Facebook posts in the run-up to the non-discrimination ordinance vote.

“They just really aren’t the same thing to me,” he said.

Black people didn’t “choose to be black,” he went on, also pointing out that gay people aren’t routinely getting dogs and hoses turned on them.

I have to admit that my response was out The March on of my mouth before I Washington in had even given myself 1963 (top) and riots time to adequately at the Stonewall consider his concern.

Inn in 1969 (right).

“People don’t Photo Credit: choose to be gay or March trans either,” I told him, Public Domain adding that kids can Stonewall be thrown out of their Joseph H Abrosini houses when their parents find out they are gay or trans. It wasn’t like anyone’s parents were going to suddenly wake up one day and go, “Wait, you’re black?!?

Get out of here!”

At this point it became obvious that I had allowed myself to get defensive, to participate in the Suffering Olympics, where really no one is the winner.

While LGBT people do experience higher rates of violence and suicide than the general public, they are not, we are not, victims of the state in that direct and coordinated a way.

Or at least not anymore, but it did used to happen — the Stonewall Riots being the most famous example.

“You’re right, though, it’s not the exact same thing,” I sputtered lamely, not knowing how to proceed exactly.

And it isn’t. But it is in the same ballpark, right?

As another man in my small group pointed out, after saying he had been raised to think much differently from how he had come to believe: “All discrimination is wrong.”

I brought up this interaction, this argument and its tendency to crop up when the phrase “LGBT civil rights” is mentioned, while interviewing Bishop Tonyia Rawls for a piece on LGBT people of color who have made a difference in Charlotte.

Rawls is an activist, organizer and spiritual leader.

“As a black person, I do not run from the comparison that I feel when I think about the Civil Rights Movement and the LGBTQ rights movement,” Rawls told me. “I don’t run from that and I don’t struggle with that.

“But what I do think is important is for white folks in particular, who have been historically privileged, and white LGBTQ people who are also privileged in other ways, to be sensitive

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to how those comparisons are made, because there isn’t the same point of reference.”

What is often lost in these conversations is how it is possible to be both advantaged and disadvantaged at the same time. Essentially no one exists at the complete ends of the spectrum of utter majority or absolute minority. We are all potential victims of discrimination, and now with the passage of House Bill 2, which makes it illegal to sue for discrimination in state court, we all need to band together more than ever.

Now is not a time for separatism.

“Justice is justice, period. So when Dr. King talked about the Holocaust, and when he talked about what was happening in Vietnam, he’s not Vietnamese nor is he Jewish. But what he was, was somebody committed to justice,” Rawls said. “And so he spoke as one who saw those comparisons, and those comparisons compelled him to be able to do greater work for black folk.”

Rawls urges white allies to be aware that the best way to make the comparison between the two is not to say they are the same thing, because they are not, but rather that they were moved by what they saw happen with the Civil Rights Movement and it inspires them to fight for equality.

“It’s not an apples to apples (comparison), but it is in the same fruit family,” Rawls added.

“So I can talk about, ‘I’m part of this fruit family,’ no pun intended, right?”

Speaking of Doctor King, many are still unaware that the historic March on Washington was organized in large part by a gay black man named Bayard Rustin.

Which brings up the important point that, of course, there is crossover, that many of the people who are fighting for their rights as people of color are also fighting for their rights as members of the LGBT community.

Transgender women of color, for instance, are particularly vulnerable in society today. Of the more than 20 trans women who were killed last year, the majority were trans women of color. That includes Elisha Walker, who was from North Carolina.

Many of the organizers and leaders of the Black Lives Matter movement are queer and trans, who work to expand both LGBT rights and rights for people of color.

We are all beginning to realize more and more just how important it is to lift up the most marginalized among us, those who are least understood and all too often least heralded. Those opposing us will always look for the least represented groups to target, knowing they will be the easiest to turn into a boogeyman. We have to fight that off at the pass and come as a united front.

The fight for LGBT rights goes on, as does the fight for the rights of people of color and those living in poverty, so why not go hand in hand? As the African Proverb says, “If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” : :

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Transgender Day of Visibility Rally in Charlotte protests HB2 Rain could not stop trans and trans allies from demonstrating

by Jeff Taylor :: qnotes staff

D

ozens of LGBT activists and allies came out in spite of the rain on Thursday, March 31, to celebrate Transgender Day of Visibility and to protest the discriminatory House Bill 2 (HB2) passed by the North Carolina General Assembly and signed into law by Gov. Pat McCrory.

Holding signs with messages including, “Flush McCrory out of NC” and “God Is Trans,” those who felt moved to speak took turns telling their stories and calling on North Carolina lawmakers to repeal HB2.

The bill requires transgender individuals to use the bathroom that correlates with the gender on their birth certificate, not the gender they identity with, as well as stripping all existing nondiscrimination ordinances from cities and municipalities in the state.

That means that anyone wishing to sue for discrimination must now go through the federal court system instead of the state, which is a more costly and lengthier process.

North Carolina’s HB2 also prohibits cities and municipalities from passing their own employment discrimination laws, as well as preventing them from increasing their minimum wage, which is $7.25 in the state, the same as the federal minimum wage.

It was a chance to protest these changes, but also it was a time to be seen.

“I’m so glad that you guys are out here in the rain, because we’re here because we’re visible,” said Che Busiek, who like many at the rally had symbolically adorned his clothing with high-visibility tape.

“We’re here because we’re not going to be quiet anymore,” he went on, without the aid of the bullhorn he had been handed.

“What I want to say to you today is that my mother, for the first

stand up for themselves, because no time ever, has seen what one else is going to do it for them. is going on here, and she Many speakers pointed out lives in West Virginia… that the real threat of violence and she actually posted and aggression is to transgender the other day to say, ‘In individuals, in spite of the rhetoric West Virginia, we see from the other side, who used what’s going on, we’re “men in dresses” wishing to gain upset about it. I’m a access to women’s bathrooms as Christian, we’re upset the boogeyman to push through about it. We’re rooting this discriminatory bill. for you guys.’ My mom HB2 was signed into law has never acknowledged one year after the death of that I’m a trans man, Blake Brockington, who made and that’s what hapheadlines when he became pened, because McCrory East Mecklenburg High School decided to be dumb.” homecoming king as a trans Alele “AJ” Williams, man. Brockington died as a an organizer with the result of suicide.

Freedom Center for The Transgender Day of Visibility rally participants Elisha Walker’s name was also Social Justice, pointed out that one group braved the rain to rally against HB2. spoken at the event. Walker was was underrepresented.

Photo Credit: Jeff Taylor a transgender woman from North “Our trans sisters of color…I look around Carolina who was murdered last year — one of a record 20 plus the crowd (and they are) not here. Simply because it’s not safe, trans women killed in 2015, most of them women of color. and they’re being murdered,” Williams said. He added that while At least two politicians were in attendance, Mecklenburg County he had not planned on speaking initially, “This is not a time to be Commissioner Pat Cotham and Charlotte City Councilmember, and introverted.”

Williams also shared the anxiety felt simply for using the bathroom in public, and that the trans community and their allies must see TDOV on 13

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news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen, qnotes staff

Campus exec SEED20 class finalist CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Shane Windmeyer, founder and executive director of Campus Pride, has been selected as one of the top 10 finalists for Social Venture Partners’ SEED20 Class of 2016.

The class participants, who are comprised of area non-profit entrepreneurs, are competing for cash and grant awards that total up to $55,000. They are chosen for their innovation in tackling pressing social challenges.

Windmeyer will present his three-minute pitch to a panel of judges and an audience of business and non-profit leaders, foundation executives and other members of the area’s entrepreneurial community at the SEED20 OnStage! event on April 11, 6:30 p.m., at the Bechtler Museum and Knight Theatre, 420 S. Tryon St. “We are honored at Campus Pride to take part in such a monumental event in our hometown Charlotte,” Windmeyer shared. “Taking part in SEED20 has allowed our organization to shine among local talents and non-profits. Recognition of entrepreneurs is key in supporting local work and creating the strongest, most innovative solutions for tomorrow.” It is the first time that an LGBT-specific non-profit has been chosen for the program.

The event includes a reception prior to and then one following the presentations where finalists and the audience can interact and network with the entire SEED20 class of 20 participants.

Tickets are $70 and are available online at bit.ly/1N3Q1jw. info: SEED20.org.

Charlotte ASO set to ‘feud’

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Different Roads Home (DRH) is rolling out its We Are Family Feud charity game show event on April 9, 7 p.m., at Theatre Charlotte, 501 Queens Rd. The evening’s benefit supports DRH and Carolinas Care Partnership. It will be filled with entertaining moments and prizes.

Hostesses’ Lana Cane and Mink Shoals bring their campy drag style to the stage, along with musical numbers.

Included in the event are two traditional rounds and two fast money rounds. The families will be chosen from participating members of the audience that night, so everyone that comes gets a chance to be a part of the action.

Tickets are $12.50/general admission and $25/regular and are available online. info: differentroadshome.org.

Annual film fest around corner

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The 8th Annual GayCharlotte Film Festival will be held from April 21-24 at Theatre Charlotte, 501 Queen Rd. Enjoy the cinema along with wine, beer, sodas, popcorn and snacks.

Films and times are: April 22 — “4th Man Out,” 7 p.m., and “Those People,” 9 p.m.; April 23 — “Jenny’s Wedding,” 4:30 p.m., “While You Weren’t Looking,” 7 p.m. and “The Same Difference,” 9 p.m.; April 25 — “In the Grayscale,” 4 p.m., and “Carol,” 6 p.m. More screenings will be announced, but were not available at press time.

Tickets are $8/advance online and $10/at the door each, $5/students, senior, Charlotte Film Society members or $50 for a VIP allfestival pass (see website for perks). info: charlottelgbtfilm.com.

TOY creates activism guide

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Time Out Youth Center (TOY), 2320 N. Davidson St., has announced

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that it, along with the North Carolina GSA Network, have created an activism guide for gay-straight alliances for the state’s middle and high schools regarding the passage of HB2.

The guide includes background information on HB2, a statement of rights guaranteed to LGBT students in K-12 schools, activities GSAs can do to raise awareness of the harmful effects of HB2 in their schools, five national/ statewide campaigns or events that GSAs can participate in to advocate for change and additional resources available from other state and national partners of TOY, said Dr. Todd Rosendahl, director of school outreach.

The guide is available for download at bit. ly/1orB18F. In other news, TOY will hold its Platinum Gala on June 3, 6:30 p.m., at Center Stage, 2315 N. Davidson St. Keynote speaker for the event will be Gastonia, N.C.-native Fortune Feimster, an actor, standup comedian, writer and LGBT spokesperson. Feimster’s credits include full-time performances and writer for “Chelsea Lately,” as well as Nurse Collette on “The Mindy Project.”

Ben Thompson, WCNC anchor, will serve as master of ceremonies.

The event includes a silent auction, cocktails, cash bar, music and hors d’oeuvres.

Tickets are $100 and are available online at bit.ly/1VlaoiU. They entitle holder to two complimentary beverages. info: timeoutyouth.org.

Sports pros share anti-bullying message

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Carolina Panthers Linebacker Thomas Davis and Harlem Globetrotters star Buckets Blakes presented the Globetrotters’ “The ABCs of Bullying Prevention” school initiative on March 21 at the Harris YMCA Cato Education Center, 5900 Quail Hollow Rd. The two sports pros demonstrated “Action, Bravery and Compassion” to students in attendance as a way to show ways to reduce bullying.

Blakes also recognized Davis as an honorary Ambassador of Goodwill for his work with the Thomas Davis Defending Dreams Foundation. The Globetrotters also contributed 90 tickets in Davis’ name for underprivileged youth to see the team live on March 26 during their 90th Anniversary World Tour.

The prevention campaign was developed with the National Campaign to Stop Violence. info: harlemglobetrotters.com.

the Gibsonville Depot, 119 W. Main St. Hosted by Alamance Burlington LGBT Resources, it brings in LGBT non-profits and allies to showcase their organizations. A DJ will be on hand to share music and make serve as announcer for the day’s agenda.

Admission is free.

Email triadlgbtexpo@gmail.com to learn more. info: triadlgbtexpo.wordpress.com.

Triad

Triangle

Film series underway

Network plans meeting

WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. — The Out of the Wilderness conference series has begun and is being held each Monday during the month of April in the lower auditorium of Wingate Hall at Wake Forest University at 7 p.m.

Presented by Interfaith Voice, a coalition of city congregations that are open and affirming of LGBT individuals, the event is free and open to the public.

On April 4, Gender 101 — Gender, Sexuality and the Trans Identity was presented by Liam Hooper. In the weeks ahead, the following will flesh out the series: April 11, “The New Black” documentary film screening about an AfricanAmerican community that grapples with gay rights during the marriage movement and the fight over civil rights, followed by discussion; April 18, a conversation with Brent Childers, a former journalist who serves at Equality NC’s new faith director; and April 25, “Same Gender Marriage, Religious Accommodations and Race Analogy,” presented by Wake Forest University School of Law Professor Shannon Gilreath.

The series is sponsored by the Adam Foundation and the Wake Forest University School of Divinity. info: bit.ly/238fYYq.

RALEIGH, N.C. — The Raleigh Business and Professional Network will hold its monthly meeting on April 13, 6:30 p.m., at P.G. Werth’s, 927 W. Morgan St. Guest speaker will be Charles Phaneuf and the Raleigh Little Theatre. He will talk about his passion for theatre arts and their positive role in community development.

Registration is available online at bit. ly/1UAyG9K. info: raleighnetwork.org.

Assessment test available

RALEIGH, N.C. — Total Engagement Consulting by Kimer has released its transgender diversity self-assessment test.

The 12-question query takes less than 10 minutes to complete and is used to gauge how companies and organizations are progressing on issues that surround transgender diversity in the workplace and marketplace. info: totalengagementconsulting.com.

Western Anti-HB2 campaign launched

It’s green bingo time

GREENSBORO, N.C. — Green Queen Biker Bingo will be held on April 15, 6 p.m., at The Elm Street Center, 203 S. Elm St. The evening includes cocktails with the queens at 6 p.m. and bingo at 7 p.m.

Tickets are $15/advance, $20/at the door and $12/student with ID and are available online at bit.ly/1qf8h4W. Proceeds go to support the work of Guilford Green Foundation. info: ggfnc.org.

Fest features LGBT films

WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. — The RiverRun International Film Festival, which began on April 7 and will continue until April 17, has announced that it will screen 166 films, including 76 features and 90 shorts from 44 countries.

Among them are an array of LGBT-focused shows which will be shown at a/perture, 311 W. 4th St., Hanesbrand Theatre, 209 Spruce St. N., and the Southeastern Center for Contemporary Art, 750 Marguerite Dr. Featured are: “Coming Out,” “He Hated Pigeons,” “Deep Run,” “First Girl I Loved” and “Sleeping Giant.” See the website for more detailed information on each film.

Tickets are available at the Stevens Center Box Office at the University of North Carolina School of the Arts, 405 W. 4th St., online at riverrunfilm.com or over the phone at 336-7211945. Cost of tickets vary. More information is available on the film festival website. info: riverrunfilm.com.

Expo slated

GIBSONVILLE, N.C. — The Triad LGBT Expo 2016 will be held on May 21, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., at

ASHEVILLE, N.C. — GayAshevilleNC.com recently posted a commentary on its website and Facebook about the state’s new anti-LGBT discrimination law, HB2, and included some graphics that became requested items.

Available for download on the website at bit.ly/1SvA4o8 are two different “Partner In Justice” cards. One is simple and one comes with dialogue that states: “Be Proud to Partner In Justice. As a regular customer, I ask you to take a stand and Partner in Justice for North Carolina by advocating the repeal of HB2! I cannot patronage a business that does not take a stand.”

Users are encouraged to give them to businesses and employers as well.

The editorial was also accompanied by a call to action against the newly-implemented HB2.

Errata

In our last issue in the print edition, we wrongly identifed Romare Bearden as being gay in a news brief entitled “Arts center honors Carolina artists.” We apologize to the estate of Mr. Bearden and regret this error.

QNotes Staff

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There is also a petition there to appeal to select individuals to initiate impeachment of Gov. Pat McCrory.

“We, GayAshevilleNC, promise to be tireless in promotion of our community and its accomplishments and help prove to all individuals and corporations, just what it is like to be part of a community that works, plays and lives together — gay, bi, transgender or straight in harmony and respect,” the site’s owners said. info: gayashevillenc.com.

Elder webinars upcoming

ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Land of Sky Regional Council, 339 New Leicester Hwy., Suite 140, has announced that it is providing two webinars focused on LGBT older adults.

The resource/training options are: April 15, 10-11 a.m., Embracing LGBT Older Adults of Color and June 23, 10-11 a.m., Intro to LGBT Older Adults.

Registration is available online for each webinar. For the April 15 event visit bit.ly/ 1X94Yqc and for the June 23 event visit bit.ly/ 1qgu5Nr. info: landofsky.org.

UNC-A celebrates Pride

ASHEVILLE, N.C. — The University of North Carolina at Asheville is celebrating its GLBT PRIDE (Practice Respect, Inclusion, Diversity, Education) Month with an array of programming.

Co-sponsored by the university’s Multicultural Student Programs and the student organizations Alliance, Black Student Union, Hyannis House and the Trans Student Union, it kicked off on April 4 with a film

screening of “Paris is Burning” and “From the Margins to the Middle: Experiences of LGBTQ People of Color” panel discussion on April 5.

The event continues on April 19 with a film screening of “Pay It No Mind: The Life and Times of Marsha P. Johnson” at 6 p.m. in the Highsmith Union, room 222. This documentary focuses on Marsha P. Johnson, a black trans activist who was an instigator of the Stonewall riot that helped spark the gay liberation movement. A discussion led by UNC-A staff and students will follow.

On April 22, 6 p.m., there will be a Trans Student Union Poetry Showcase featuring poetry, music and art at Hyannis House, 24 Hyannis Dr. info: msp.unca.edu.

HIV/AIDS dining event readied

ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Western North Carolina AIDS Project (WNCAP) has announced that it will host its annual Dining Out for Life event on April 28.

Over 115 participating restaurants will contribute 20 percent of their gross sales for the day to WNCAP to enable it to meet and expand their services. Eat out for breakfast, lunch, dinner, drinks or takeout and chose a different restaurant for each meal. See the website for the complete list.

SisterCare WNC will be the ambassador for the event on April 28, 5:30-10 p.m., at Two Guys Pizza & Ribs, 121 Barnwell St. #8, in Hendersonville, N.C. During the SisterCare event, a candlelight ceremony in recognition of those lost to HIV/ AIDS will take place. Names should be submitted to sistercarewnc@gmail.com.

In addition, entertainment will be provided

by Motown-styled band WestSound and emceed by local impersonator Cher. info: wncap.org/dofl. sistercarewnc.weebly.com.

Regional Award goes to N.C. legislature

NORTHHAMPTON, Mass. — The Bill of Rights Defense Committee and Defending Dissent Foundation, as part of April Fools Day, awarded the Joseph McCarthy Award for Legislative Excellence to the North Carolina General Assembly for their record hating on everyone.

The recipient received 59 percent of votes cast for its multiple achievements.

Organizers said, “The State Legislature of North Carolina has not only actively thwarted an informed public with a sweeping antiwhistleblower bill, but also passed anti-LGBTQ and anti-immigrant bills.”

“While we think our April Fools Awards were funny … in all seriousness, the fact that there were so many deserving candidates was downright frightening,” they added.

Competing in the award with the legislature were bi-partisan New York City politicians and sponsors of the Countering Violent Extremism Act of 2015.

The organizations are accepting contributions to further they work. info: bordc.org.

Have news or other information? Send your press releases and updates for inclusion in our News Notes: editor@goqnotes.com.

news

TDOV continued from page 11 soon to be N.C. House District 100 representative, John Autry. Both pledged their support for the LGBT community.

Autry voted in favor of expanding Charlotte’s non-discrimination ordinance to include LGBT protections. He also voted in favor last year, when it was narrowly defeated. He and fellow council member LaWana Mayfield voted against an amended ordinance that would have removed transgender protections, both stressing that no part of the LGBT community should be left behind.

“One of the most disgusting things to me is to hear people say, ‘Well why did you do this? Why did you do this for such a small percentage of our population?’ My rebuke to them is, ‘At what level should we set the bar before we do anything to protect the most vulnerable in our society?’”

Autry said to the cheers of the crowd.

Event organizer Lara Americo closed out the event by expressing her appreciation for the show of support and solidarity.

“I spent 30 years of my life thinking I was alone and that I was less of a human being because I was transgender. Right now, more so than ever in my life, I see that I was wrong, and that I was never alone and that we are not alone,” Americo said.

“I’ve been doing a lot of traveling around North Carolina, seeing all the protests like this,” she continued. “They shut down the intersection [of Franklin St. and Columbia St.] in Chapel Hill with 700 people. We are definitely not alone, even in a state like this, we are not alone.” : :

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news notes: u.s./world compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

Vet from North Carolina has history-making moment A North Carolina veterinarian became the first openly gay president-elect for the American Veterinarian Medical Association (AVMA) last July and he has been speaking to LGBT vet students about their concerns.

Dr. Joe Kinnamey of Reidsville, N.C., was elected by his peers at its House of Delegates meeting.

The 153-year-old association has typically elected straight, white men to the leadership post, but more recently has begun to elect a handful of women. AVMA’s gay and lesbian professionals were celebratory over the news.

He shared with the association’s news site that he did not see himself as a pioneer. “It’s just my life. It’s who I am,” he shared.

Kinnarney, who hid his relationship with his partner and now husband while campaigning for the post, has since become a more vocal advocate of LGBT vets and students.

AVMA Associate Director for International and Diversity Issues Dr. Beth Sabin has stated that Kinnarney’s example stands as an illustration of why inclusion is a core value of the association.

Supporting veterinary professionals is a

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top priority of the association and has been so since it was founded by Dr. Ken Gorczyca.

Psychiatric association condemns conversion therapy

On March 23, the World Psychiatric Association (WPA) called for an end to the discredited practice of “conversion therapy,” which is linked to serious harms, including depression, substance abuse and suicide.

The world’s largest organization of mental health professionals represents 200,000 people in 118 countries.

The National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR) #BornPerfect Campaign Coordinator and Staff Attorney Sam Ames lauded the statement issued by the WPA. The statement stated that the WPA saw no sound scientific evidence that innate sexual orientation can be changed.

It went on to say that such treatment can create a setting in which prejudice and discrimination flourishes and can potentially be harmful.

The WPA added that using conversion therapy was wholly unethical.

The announcement comes less than a year after the Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights released a groundbreaking report calling for all member countries to end conversion therapy. That report followed the United Nations Committee Against Torture’s historic decision to raise the issue as a potential violation of human rights

goqnotes.com/to/news

just after NCLR delivered testimony at the 2014 review of the U.S. NCLR has been at the forefront of the movement to end the practice.

The #BornPerfect campaign was launched

news

to end conversion therapy by protecting youth from these practices through legislation and litigation and raising awareness about the serious harms caused by such treatment.

QUICK HITS —————————————————————————————— Janice Covington Allison, who is from Charlotte, N.C., was selected as one of 12 transgender Americans who are proud to support Hillary Clinton. info: hillaryclinton.com.

The state’s same-sex adoption ban was struck down when the Campaign for Southern Equality won its case against the Mississippi Department of Human Services. info: southernequality.org. familyequality.org.

Psychiatric Times has posted a feature on the role of psychiatrists in HIV prevention. info: bit.ly/1XannTE.

The U.K.’s first full-service insurance provided designed and tailored for the gay and lesbian community has been launched. info: emeraldlife.co.uk.

Mary-Louise Parker, Guy Pearce and others have joined the cast of an LGBT-themed miniseries, “When We Rise,” on ABC. info: tvguide.com.

A first-ever U.S. tour by LGBT Ethopian Israeli leaders during April. info: awiderbridge.org.

The Kentucky Senate unanimously approved a single marriage license form. info: fairness.org.

A Stonewall veterans monument has been proposed in New York. info: stonewallvets.org.

The award-winning film, “Families Are Forever,” has been designated a a best practice resource for LGBT youth suicide prevention. info: familyproject.sfsu.edu/family-videos.

The poster child for the Affordable Care Act has recently come out as transgender. info: cnn.com.

Voter ID laws create challenges, added costs for transgender individuals. info: williamsinstitutte.law.ucla.edu.

OutServe-SLDN will hold its Annual LGBT Military Leadership Conference in May in Washington, D.C. info: outserve.org.

The American College of Pediatricians has released a statement on transgender policies. info: acpedsl.org.

The fifth installment of “Boystown” will be released on June 1. info: boystowntheseries@yahoo.com.

April 8-21 . 2016

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hey! what’s happening?

We want your news and event notices today. We also welcome your letters to the editor (200 or words or less) and guest commentaries (600 words or less). Be sure to send them to editor@goqnotes.com. Thank you!

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life

In Memoriam

A life celebrated and remembered Gay Pioneer & Drag Legend Danny Leonard aka “Brandy Alexander” passes away at age 70

by Shane Windmeyer, aka Buff Faye :: guest contributor

O

emceed the memorial service sharing stories about Alexander ver a hundred friends and family gathered in the early between numbers. evening on Saturday, March 26 at Chaser’s Charlotte for the “A lot of people didn’t know Brandy was a member of a “Brandy Alexander Celebration of Life Memorial Service.” circus. She was a clown and that’s how she started in drag…

Danny Leonard [Brandy Leonard] passed away on Monday, well anyway,” said Carter. “Lord she would have loved it. All the March 21, 2016, at the age of 70. songs played were songs she had done for years. The memories, As a drag legend, Alexander will hold a place in history as the laughter…she would have loved it.” one of the most popular female impersonators Among many life accomplishments, in the South. In 1979, she was crowned the very Leonard/Alexander owned Friends Lounge first Miss Gay North Carolina America and she in Jacksonville, N.C. Friends Lounge was the also won the first state title for Miss Gay North only gay bar in the country that was officially Carolina U.S.ofA. in 1986. She performed in the off-limits for military personnel. Because Queen City and across the South from the 1960s it was located near Camp Lejeune Marine and continued until recent years.

Base, any Marine who was caught there The “Celebration of Life” featured tributes would be in jeopardy and at-risk of being disand drag performances of Alexander’s favorcharged dishonorably. The local sherriff had ite songs by her drag family and dear friends waged an all-out attack on the bar nightly.

Kelly Ray Shelton, Terri Lovo, John Elvis, Macy The bar was frequently raided by police and Alexander, Shana Nicole, as well as memories it was commonplace for patrons to suffer shared by Greg Brafford and Janice Covington undue harassment and violence.

Allison. The mood among the crowd was loving, In the fall of 1988 in an article in and yet lively remembering both the drag legend “Southern Exposure,” Leonard was quoted, Alexander and the gay pioneer Leonard.

“When I was doing drag in Florida in 1964, we “That voice. When Brandy spoke people were pulled out of bars and beaten by cops listened,” said Shane Curtis, aka Shana Nicole, with billy clubs. I’ve been put in a jail probably who performed that night one of Brandy’s favor50 times. They’d pull paddy wagons up and ite numbers “I Did It My Way.” “Her wisdom has put all the female impersonators and owners certainly impacted my life and drag career and in, then fine us for being in women’s clothes. she is someone I have always been proud to call Many wrote tributes to Brandy They used to make us strip down, and we a sister. And that sisterhood forged a bond that Alexander in her memory. had to have three items of male clothing. So lasted Brandy and me a lifetime. May we always we’d wear three pairs of jockey shorts under our dresses. What remember her for the survivor and the pioneer that she was… was going on in Jacksonville reminded me of that. Bars have But may we also remember the incredible talent and character changed an awful lot since that was Brandy Alexander. She truly did it — as then. There are more of them, the song says — ‘MY WAY’…Love you Brandy.”

To think I did all that; they’re more open. I don’t want Long-time friend and another southern drag And may I say — not in a shy way, to see these kids go through legend Ricky Carter, aka Boom Boom LaTour, “Oh no, oh no not me, what I went through.“ I did it my way.”

Leonard as a gay activist was one of the best known in For what is a man, what has he got? the southern region in the 1970s If not himself, then he has naught. and 1980s. His perseverance To say the things he truly feels; and leadership in the face of And not the words of one who kneels. adversity, as well as his fundraisThe record shows I took the blows — ing efforts organizing benefits And did it my way! for people with AIDS, were Yes, it was my way. truly the work of a gay southern pioneer. He had helped to raise Shana Nicole pays tribute $350,000 at the time for supporting people with AIDS to Brandy Alexander by per— more than the entire state of North Carolina had forming Alexander’s favorite contributed to fight the epidemic back then. Shortly song, ‘I Did It My Way.’

❝

❞

after Leonard’s passing, it was announced that an outdoor mural project titled “Drag Queens of the Queen City” will feature Brandy Alexander, as well as other Charlotte drag legends. The mural will be painted in the Plaza-Midwood area starting in April.

In memory of his life, Brafford, a close friend and the bar owner of the Woodshed in Charlotte, N.C., asked everyone at the memorial service to remember this: “I want you to remember one thing about Brandy. That girl had balls. She wasn’t scared of a redneck in Lexington, North Carolina, when she was growing up.

She wasn’t scared of the police in Florida when they locked her up. She wasn’t scared of a six-foot-five Marine with a baseball bat in Jacksonville. She wasn’t scared of a fire when they burned her house down. She wasn’t scared of a bomb when they blew her bar up and she sure as fuckin’ hell wasn’t scared of cancer. “ For many in the Charlotte drag community, it is difficult to believe that Leonard and his drag persona Brandy Alexander are no longer with us. And yet through the words of her favorite songs we will hold dear forever. : :

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L-G-B-T, isn’t as easy as 1-2-3 Abbreviations are a cornucopia into the lives of those they represent

by Lainey Millen, qnotes staff

Got figuring out what your sexual orientation might be on your brain? No matter what your sexual orientation might be, being familiar the terms can make it easier for you to make educated decisions.

M

ichael Jackson once sang “A-B-C. It’s easy as 1-2-3.”

However, the King of Pop did not take into consideration the broad array of sexual orientation profiles that have proliferated over the years.

So, let’s take a look at the basics. For the “gay” community, this is like going back to kindergarten. But, for the un-initiated or those who are newly out or exploring, this will be a quick study on how the whole identity thing plays out.

To begin with, according to the LGBT Resource Center at the University of California at Riverside (UCR), there is a process when someone either publicly or privately “comes out.” This may refer to the process by which one accepts one’s own sexuality, gender identity or status and shares one’s sexuality, gender identity or intersex status with others. This can be a continual, life-long process. Additionally, one’s gender identity is how one perceives of oneself as far as being masculine, feminine or another gender.

Someone who has relationships with someone of the same sex, but hides this from one’s family and/or friends is said to be on the “DL” or down low. This is a cousin to being “in the closet” which basically refers to one’s decision not to tell anyone about their sexual orientation. A person may be “out” with friends and family, but not at work, for instance. Those on the “DL” shield their circumstances from everyone with the exception of those with whom they are having sexual relations.

In any case, having an understanding of the differences between sexual identity and orientation is important. Sexual identity is how a person identifies oneself physically. Sexual orientation has to do with one’s desire for intimate emotional and/or sexual relationships with people of the same gender/sex, another gender/sex or multiple genders/sexes.

Now, this one is easy-peasy: homophobia. It is defined as “the irrational fear or hatred of homosexuals, homosexuality, or any behavior or belief that does not conform to rigid sex role stereotypes. It is this fear that enforces sexism as well as heterosexism.”

“Outing” someone is disclosing their sexual orientation and/ or gender identity without that person’s permission.

Easy List: L — lesbian. A female individual who prefers to have intimate relationships with women.

G — gay. A male individual who prefers to have intimate relationships with men.

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B — bisexual. These individuals do not have a single preference in whom they choose for intimate relationships and are just as comfortable with both women and men alike.

T — transsexual (trans, trans*). No, these are not drag queens or kings. Trans individuals are people who are biologically either male or female, but identify as the opposite of how they were biologically born (Jane feels more like John and Jack feels more like Jill).

Q — queer or questioning. This one can be really confusing, even for those in the LGBT community. Queer people are those who, according to UC Riverside, “embrace a matrix of sexual preferences, orientations, and habits of the not-exclusivelyheterosexual-and-monogamous majority; “used as a sexual orientation label;” or “is a reclaimed word that was formerly used solely as a slur but that has been semantically overturned by members of the maligned group, who use it as a term of defiant pride.” Questioning folks are simply that — they are unsure of their sexuality in terms of identity and preference and are in the process of exploration to determine the outcome of their findings.

A — ally, agender or asexual. Allies are individuals who do not fall into any of the LGBT subgroups, are straight and are supportive of the community. Agender individuals are people who are internally ungendered. Asexuals are those who are “not sexually attracted to anyone or lacks a sexual oriention.”

I — intersex. These people are ones who are biologically “bi” in the most direct way in that they possess both genitalia of both sexes and/or other biological markers.

P — pansexual. Someone who is attracted sexually to all or a variety of gender expressions.

Digging deeper These are other expressions of ones sexuality, so says UC Riverside, but some may not be as familiar as the ones stated above: Androgne — Person appearing and/or identifying as neither man nor woman, presenting a gender either mixed or neutral.

Bicurious — A curiosity about having sexual relations with a same gender/sex person.

Bigender — A person whose gender identity is a combination of male/man and female/woman.

Cisgender – Someone who feels comfortable with the gender identity and gender expression expectations assigned to them based on their physical sex.

Cross-dresser — Someone who wears clothes of another gender/ sex. This has typically been applied to men who dress up as women, but can certainly be applied to women who dress up as men.

Gender Binary — The idea that there are only two genders: male/female or man/woman and that a person must be strictly gendered as either/or.

Gender Variant — A person who either by nature or by choice does not conform to gender-based expectations of society (e.g. transgender, transsexual, intersex, genderqueer, crossdresser, etc.).

Genderqueer — A gender variant person whose gender identity is neither male nor female, is between or beyond genders or is some combination of genders. Often includes a political agenda to challenge gender stereotypes and the gender binary system.

Intergender — A person whose gender identity is between genders or a combination of genders.

Intersexed Person — Someone whose sex a doctor has a difficult time categorizing as either male or female. A person whose combination of chromosomes, hormones, internal sex organs, gonads, and/or genitals differs from one of the two expected patterns.

MTF/M2F or FTM/F2M — An abbreviation for male-to-female or female-to-male transgender or transsexual persons.

Pangender — A person whose gender identity is comprised of all or many gender expressions.

Polyamorous — Someone who has honest, usually non-possessive, relationships with multiple partners and can include: open relationships, polyfidelity (which involves multiple romantic relationships with sexual contact restricted to those), and sub-relationships (which denote distinguishing between a “primary” relationship or relationships and various “secondary” relationships).

Straight — Another term for heterosexual.

Transvestite — Someone who dresses in clothing generally identified with the opposite gender/sex.

Two-Spirited — Native persons who have attributes of both genders, have distinct gender and social roles in their tribes, and are often involved with mystical rituals (shamans).

Ze/Hir – Alternate pronouns that are gender neutral and preferred by some gender variant persons. Pronounced /zee/ and /here,/ they replace “he”/”she” and “his”/”hers” respectively. There are others in the list like “they,” “e/ey,” “eir,” “eirself” and “em.”

Every day, the community expands its methodology in how it defines itself. These are the major ones and the list could be expanded much more.

life The x-y-z of being LGBT goqnotes.com/to/life

Subgroups help to further define one’s sexual orientation, identity and expression

by Lainey Millen, qnotes staff

B

Cub — Younger bears who may or may not have facial/body hair and are on the husky side.

Drag King — A person who performs masculinity theatrically.

Drag Queen — A person who performs femininity theatrically.

Dyke — Derogatory term referring to a masculine lesbian. Sometimes adopted affirmatively by lesbians (not necessarily masculine ones) to refer to themselves.

Fag — Derogatory term referring to someone perceived as non-heteronormative.

Fag Hag — A term primarily used to describe women who prefer the social company of gay men. While this term is claimed in an affirmative manner by some, it is largely regarded as derogatory.

Femme — Feminine identified person of any gender/sex.

Lipstick Lesbian — Usually refers to a lesbian with a feminine gender expression. Can be used in a positive or a derogatory way, depending on who is using it.

Otter — Skinnier, athletic version of bears.

Twink — Young gay males who are generally on the skinny side and are thin or void of body hair.

Twunk — Twinks who have a bit of muscle mass.

Wolves — Lean, muscular semi-hairy bears.

Stud — An African-American and/or Latina masculine lesbian.

••••••• Here are some terms that explain things that sectors of the LGBT community might do to accommodate the creation of their true self: Binding — The process of e Dyk flattening one’s breasts to have a more masculine or Twink flat appearing chest. Female to male trans individuals may Drag Quee n do this during transition prior to having breast reduction Bu tch Be surgery. Or, drag kings might ar use a binding to get into the persona of being male.

Bottom Surgery — Surgery on the genitals designed to create a body in harmony with a person’s preferred gender expression.

Packing — Wearing a phallic device on the groin and under clothing for any purposes including — (for someone without a biological penis) the validation or confirmation of one’s masculine gender identity; seduction; and/or sexual readiness (for one who likes to Butch — A person who identifies as maspenetrate another during sexual intercourse). culine, whether it be physically, mentally or Taping — Using a binding of some sort of mateemotionally. Butch is sometimes used as a rial to tuck male genitalia when either performderogatory term for lesbians, but it can also be ing in drag or to help make someone who is claimed as an affirmative identity label. transgender feel more feminine in nature.

Circuit Boys — Men with tattoos that are Top Surgery — This term usually refers to more tribal in nature and possess man-scaped, surgery for the construction of a male-type muscular and well-groomed bodies. chest, but may also refer to breast augmentation.

Chubs — Overweight men. eing an LGBT individual can often be a challenging experience. And, in today’s world, labels and explanations are rampant, even if one does not like being categorized by any number of them.

The process of getting down to the core of who one is can take decades to figure out, and that is the same with fixing in on one’s true identity. In the LGBT world it even goes deeper.

The mode of dress, the way one handles one’s persona (be it public or private), as well as how a person feels inside is a real enigma.

What someone looks like on the outside may or may not match what is felt or expressed on the inside. Yet, those pieces of the puzzle can be easier to assemble if one understands the “inner workings” of how the human LGBT machine works.

••••••• Here are a good measure of terms that should make it easier to ascertain. They come, in part, from the LGBT Resource Center at the University of California at Riverside, and from other sources. So, let’s dive in: Bear — A man who has facial/body hair and a cuddly body. However, the word bear means many things to different people, even within the bear movement. Many men who do not have one or all of these characteristics define themselves as bears, making the term a very loose one. Bear is often defined as more of an attitude and a sense of comfort with natural masculinity and bodies.

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tell trinity

by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

Coming out: The greatest gift you can give yourself Dearest Trinity, About a month ago, I came out to my wife, two kids and to my very straight job. My wife was great, but my job couldn’t handle it, so I was strategically fired. Did I do the right thing?

Ouch I’m Out, Ottawa, ON Dearest Ouch, Being yourself, freeing yourself, saying who you are and surrounding yourself with supportive people, even if it means changing jobs, neighborhoods or family situations, will always be the greatest and holiest gift you can give yourself and the world around you. So, yes, honey, you did a great thing! Now call a lawyer and sue those bastards.

Hey Trinity, How do I meet more people when I only go out once in a while?

Trapped At Home, Nashville, TN Hey Trapped, On those rare nights when you do go out, make sure to look overly attractive and talk to as many people as you can. Don’t waste these rare outings. The more people you get the attention of and talk to, the better your chances are. Meeting people is a numbers game, pumpkin, so play it big! (Check out my cartoon to see

how I am able to keep an array of acquaintenances buzzing around me.)

Dear Trinity, I’m gay, live in a very small town and have trouble meeting dates. Any ideas on how to survive, not so alone?

Population Troubles, Crescent Beach, FL Dear Population Troubles, Honestly, the best way to find a date in a small town is to move out. Yes, you can join Scruff, Gindr or Loosr, but those apps are only going to find you heartache. However, bigger cities mean bigger dating opportunities, so sorry, sweetie. But if finding a relationship is your priority, moving out may have to become your reality. I did it and my dating life, amongst many other things, soared!

Hello Trinity, Last week I made a date with the bouncer of a bar I frequent. But he got excited and told people, which weirded me out, so I never showed up. Now he won’t let me in the bar. I apologized, but he says I’m not welcome there. Help?

Stood Up/Kicked Out, Minneapolis, MN Hello SU/KO, I know you’d like me to say he should forgive

a&e

you and let you in, but what were you thinking when you stood him up? Standing someone up is evil and inhumane. However, baby, send flowers, an apology card and keep trying, oh and also read: Trinity’s Disastrous Tips For What You Did To Someone When You Stood Them Up 1. You made him leave work early, clean his apartment and get all dressed up just to spend the evening confused, distrusting and dirty!

2. You got her all worked up for a good date just to waste a good night on a good cry!

3. You made him cook dinner and open an expensive bottle of wine just to watch the wine age and the food mold.

4. You made her pace the floor, stare at the clock and check her text messages endlessly hoping that she didn’t meet another looser!

5. Y ou made him lay painfully on the couch wondering, “Did I say something wrong?

Did I get the time right?” Or, “Am I going to be alone forever?”

6. Y ou made her call friends, family and 1-900-4-C-R-I-S-I-S to get support for issues she hasn’t dealt with since 11th grade!

7. You made him wish angry, unhealthy and negative things about you, plus you ruined, once again, someone’s dream of a relationship!

8. You made her obsess about love, honesty and life — need I go on!

9. You set him up with all your promises, just to let him down with all your narcissistic arrogance!

10. L astly, you made him wait, alone, at a bar, a restaurant or at home like a prisoner, a victim, a punished criminal when all he wanted to do was to get to know you better! info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

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EVENTS April-May 2016 Continues through April 10 SEP APR MO BOOM Festival Plaza-Midwood Neighborhood Various Venues & Street, Charlotte BOOM is Charlotte’s first artist-led, annual festival of experimental and performance art.

Local performance groups and artists XOXO, Taproot, On Q Productions, Carlos Cruz and Sarah Emery will be joined by additional artists and performers from around the country for around three dozen shows over the weekend. The three main venues will be Open Door Studios, Petra’s and Snug Harbor. Street performances and live music will also take place in and around various other spaces and venues. More information is available online. boomcharlotte.org.

–––––––––––––––––––– Continues through April 23 ‘Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street’ Paul Green Theatre 300 Country Club Rd., Chapel Hill Times vary PlayMakers Repertory Company presents the musical thriller “Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Steet.” A tale of obsession and revenge, with comedic, dramatic and grizzly turns, with a score

by Stephen Sondheim. The multiple Tony Award-winning play tells the dark tale of a murderous barber and his culinary accomplice Mrs. Lovett. Tickets for the show cost $15-$45. More information and tickets are available online. playmakersrep.org.

00 08

LGBTQ Wedding Expo and SEP APR MO Conference DoubleTree by Hilton Asheville-Biltmore 115 Hendersonville Rd., Asheville 10 a.m.-3 p.m.

Blue Ridge Pride presents an LGBTQ wedding expo, a brand new event. It will include three parts: a conference, an expo and a group commitment ceremony. The conference will feature panels and guest speakers, who will present on legal, family and social issues around same-sex marriage. The expo will feature LGBT-friendly wedding vendors. The group commitment ceremony will allow couples to marry or renew their vows, followed by a reception. Tickets are $9.39. More information and tickets are available online. blueridgepride.org.

–––––––––––––––––––– We Are Family Feud Theatre Charlotte 501 Queens Rd., Charlotte 7 p.m.

It is a Family Feud experience unlike any other, with drag emcees Lana Cane and Mink Shoals. They will bring their campy style, which will include fabulous musical numbers. The families will be plucked from the audiences and will compete in two traditional and two fastmoney rounds. The event is presented

by Rosedale Infectious Diseases, benefiting Different Roads Home and Carolinas Care Partnership. Tickets are $25 and $100 for VIP. More information and tickets are available online. differentroadshome.org.

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Submit your event to our calendar!

You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a three-forone entry. All Charlotte-area events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes.com), Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce (clgbtcc.org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com).

SEED20 Onstage!

SEP APR MO Knight Theater at Levine Center for the Arts 430 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 6-9:30 p.m.

SEED20 is Social Venture Partners’ annual fast-pitch competition for non-profits, who will present a three minute pitch to a panel of judges and the audience to vote on. There will be 20 presenters, which will be whittled down to 10 or fewer finalists. A celebration reception will follow. Tickets range from $55-$70.

Tickets and more information are available online. seed20.org.

The Second Annual SEP APR MO Conference on Including LGBT People and Their Families in Faith Communities Caldwell Presbyterian Church 1609 E. Fifth St., Charlotte 10 a.m.-2 p.m.

Caldwell Presbyterian 2nd Annual Church and PFLAG Conference Charlotte, with funding from the Charlotte Lesbian and Gay Fund, host a forum on making congregations more LGBT inclusive. In addition to a panel, there will be a Q&A session as well as small group sessions. Lunch will be provided. Admission is free. The LGBT community and their allies are invited The Alzheimer’s Association to attend.

SEP APR MO LGBT Forum Myers Park Baptist Church Third Annual Ride for Choice 1900 Selwyn Ave., Charlotte SEP APR MO Par Cycles 8 a.m.-12 p.m.

403 W. Weaver St., Carrboro The Alzheimer’s Association is hosting 1-7:30 p.m. an LGBT forum to discuss the needs of Planned Parenthood South older LGBT adults and their families. It Atlantic holds its Third Annual Ride for is made possible by a grant from the Choice, starting at Par Cycles. There Foundation of the Carolinas Charlotte will be two ride lengths: 24 and 54 miles.

Lesbian and There will be rest stops and emergency Gay Fund. support along the way. After the ride, A breakfast participants will wind buffet and netup at the Open Eye working begin the event, followed by a Café in Greensboro, host of speakers. Continuing Education where they can eat Units are available for social workers, and drink together. certified nursing assistants, adult care Tickets range from $35home administrators and activity direc$500. Tickets and more tors. This event is free and open to the information are available online. public, but registration is required and nchealthystart.org/calendar/third-annuseating is limited. al-ride-for-choice. alz.org/northcarolina.

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International Family SEP MAY MO Equality Day Picnic Lake Crabtree County Park, Dogwood Shelter 1400 Aviation Pkwy, Morrisville 11 a.m.

Celebrate the day outside family style.

Family Equality Council, DADSquared and Triangle Families are sponsoring a picnic for International Family Equality Day. The lunch is potluck style, with organizers providing beverages.

Swimming in the lake and playing volleyball and horseshoes are some of the activities that can be enjoyed.

Registration is required. bit.ly/1nYMJrh.

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Walk a Mile Asheville SEP MAY MO Pack Square Park 121 College St., Asheville 10 a.m.

Our Voice will once again hold their Walk a Mile Asheville event against rape, sexual assault and gender violence. Participants will walk a mile through downtown Asheville. Men and women of all ages are encouraged to participate. Registration is available online and costs between $15-$30. ourvoicenc.org.

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dishing with buff faye

by Buff Faye :: qnotes contributor :: info@bufffaye.com

Fighting Back: #FLUSHMCCRORY & Repeal HB2

Photo Credit: Jamie Monroe, Facebook Meme

Religion and faith were never meant to exclude or harm people. But yet history tells us differently. Across the State of North Carolina, we find ourselves battling over liberty and freedom — and it has all come down to where we take a piss. Ironic.

Moronic. Yes, indeed.

From the moment I started doing drag, I knew that some drag queens live as transgender women and I quickly wanted to learn more. For some trans women, drag was a way early-on in their transition to explore their gender identity and expression. For others, it was an escape and coping mechanism when they needed community. Regardless, I believe that drag provides all people a way to be more comfortable in their skin and to break away from the rigid social construct of how we view gender.

Today the stakes for transgender people are much higher. And these past few weeks, it is clear that transgender people are under attack by the North Carolina state legislature and the governor’s office. The passing of House Bill 2 (HB2) and enactment of the law places trans people in danger — and particularly trans women and trans women of color who already face high rates of harassment, assault and murder.

HB2 polices bathrooms and locker room facilities by “biological sex” as defined on a birth certificate. Assumingly, if you are questioned by law enforcement, you should have your birth certificate handy as criteria to determine if you should use a men’s facility or women’s facility.

Huh? Seriously, how stupid is that.

Now is the time to show Gov. Pat McCrory and the North Carolina state legislature that this is far from over. Repeal HB2! Here are five things you can do to make a difference right now.

1. Ring. Ring. Let your voices be heard!

Call Gov. Pat McCrory, the North Carolina speaker of the house and senate president pro tem. You may think its useless, but holding politicians accountable for their actions is what it is all about. So, give them a call and tell them how you feel. Be sure to give your name and the North Carolina city you live in.

Gov.Pat McCrory 919-814-2000 Speaker of the House of Representatives Rep. Tim Moore 919-733-3451 Senate President Pro Tem Sen. Phil Berger 919-733-5708 2. Social Media: Go Viral Post Meme: #FlushMcCrory or post one of your own like Jamie Monroe Tweet: @PatMcCroryNC #HB2 is the most sweeping anti-LGBT law in the land. #FlushMcCory #RepealHB2 #WeAreNotThis 3. Email your elected officials Yes, even though you may have called the governor, there are still other elected officials to hold accountable. Plus, calling and emailing shows that you are persistent and mean business. Equality NC has made it easy for you to email members of the North Carolina state legislature directly with a message to repeal HB2. Go to equalitync.org/action/repeal_HB2/ to learn more.

4. Protest. Rally. #FLUSHMCCRORY Civil forms of protest and rallies are vital to a democracy. Be clever in how you demonstrate your views and always be sure you are on message with the goal to repeal HB2. If you are not the public type to rally, one simple thing you can do is get #FLUSHMCCRORY bathroom stall stickers for statewide activism. Check it out at etsy.com/shop/stickersohmy.

5. Register to Vote These actions will have repercussions if we register to vote and get our friends to elect new political leadership come this November — #FLUSHMCCRORY. At least 25 days before the election this November, be sure you are registered to vote and check to be sure the physical address on your voter registration matches your North Carolina driver’s license. You can register at any public library, the Department of Motor Vehicles, Department of Social Services or public health office.

DRAG TIP: Never give up. We must fight hard for what we believe. Discrimination is wrong. #FLUSHMCCRORY! : : — Buff Faye calls the Queen City her home and can’t wait to vote Gov. Pat McCrory out of office (plus she loves to raise money for charities). Find her at your favorite bars and hot spots. Plus don’t forget her monthly Saturday night shows, Sunday drag brunch and regular Friday night party bus.

Learn more at AllBuff.com.

Follow on Twitter @BuffFaye

SHOUT OUTS: The Boom Festival on Saturday, April 9 will debut the “Drag Queens

of the Queen City” mural project to commemorate legends in the Charlotte drag community — including Brandy Alexander who recently passed away. RIP Brandy. If you wish to donate to the mural project, go online to: indiegogo.com/projects/the-drag-queens-of-queen-city-mural#/.

April 8-21 . 2016

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April 8-21 . 2016