QNotes, April 10-23, 2015

April 10-23 . 2015

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April 10-23 . 2015

inside

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qnotes news & features

arts.

6 entertainment.

News Notes: Regional Briefs news. views.

8 News Notes: U.S./World Briefs 9 In Memoriam: Blake Brockington 10 N.C.’s religious freedom bill

a&e / life&style 12 15 17 18 19 22 23

Six months after marriage GGF fetes marriage ‘Cucumber’ and ‘Banana’ Jane’s World Tell Trinity Q Events Calendar Dishing with Buff Faye

opinions & views 4 4 4 5

Guest Commentary Spiritual Reflections TalkBack Editor’s Note

‘Queer as Folk’ creator Russell T Davies brings LGBT TV series to American audiences. p 17

April 10-23 . 2015

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qnotes connect April 10-23, 2015 Vol 29 No 25

arts. entertainment. news. views. goqnotes.com twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue

Paige Braddock, Matt Comer, Isai Efuru, Buff Faye, Chris Kromm, Lainey Millen, Trinity Graphic Design by Photography: Oleksiy Mark via Dollar Photo Club.

Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBT and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBT life and social justice issues.

Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Editor: Matt Comer, x202 editor@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen, x205 production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.

Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2015 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

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upcoming issues: 04.24.15: Leading Ladies Advertising Space Deadline: April 15 05.08.15: Summer Fashion Advertising Space Deadline: April 29

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Anonymously Submitted

Open letter to the trans and gender-creative youth of Charlotte (and beyond) [Ed. Note — This open letter to trans youth comes courtesy of a group of transgender and allied adults, some of whom live in or have connections to Charlotte. Written in response to news of Blake Brockington’s passing, the writers of this letter wanted a way to speak to the youth of this community without the focus being shifted to the authors as individuals. The newspaper does not usually publish works by those who seek to do so anonymously; however, after speaking to the authors, we have made an exception in this case. The newspaper staff hopes this letter will bring a message of support and encouragement to transgender youth in our area.]

To the trans and gender-creative youth of Charlotte (and beyond), We believe you. We know the names you use for yourselves are the right names. You are exactly whom you know yourselves to be, and we are grateful to share this world with every part of you. We are listening to you and learning from you.

We see your strength and power and insight. Those of you who are sorting out your names and truths know yourselves far better than most of us ever will. Your willingness to learn about yourselves at such depths is

remarkable. To all of you who have recognized your true selves, no matter how privately or publicly, we recognize you, too. There may not even be words that capture all that you are, but we believe that you know yourselves far better than language could ever describe anything, anyway.

Each of you is more beautiful and real than some of the world can even imagine. Your realness scares people who are not ready to know themselves the way that you know yourselves. But your realness inspires the rest of us to know ourselves better.

Whether you live quietly or loudly, our lives are better because you exist. The world is better because you know yourself. Because you want to know yourself. Because you are real. We are grateful for your realness, and we thank you for existing; we thank you for being.

It is not okay that people’s fear of knowing themselves affects you. And we know it affects you. We know it hurts you. We know it holds you down sometimes. And we know it hurts your friends and your champions, too.

We are promising this: the voices of the fearful will no longer be louder than the voices of the grateful. You have long deserved for us to speak loudly. And we are starting today. Today and every day after, we will be shouting: You are more than enough. You are real. We believe you. We love you. We thank you. : :

spiritual reflections

by Isai Efuru :: guest contributor

front page

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guest commentary

April 10-23 . 2015

To Keep or not to Keep Over a recent weekend, I began the most arduous task of sifting through my wardrobe closet. The annual, or in my case, the quarterly ritual of “spring-cleaning” was underway. I would keep my favorite pieces, toss those that were frayed and donate those that I fell out of love with. As I gave God thanks for what I kept and what I passed on, I thought about all of the thoughts, feelings and ideas I still held onto that made my heart and soul feel cluttered. It was time to bid some nagging triggers and assumptions adieu.

The simple task of cleaning my bedroom and closet opened up a floodgate of emotions. I considered the person that I wanted to become, and the things that held me down or blocked my vision of the future. I thought about all of the anger, fear, anxiety and sadness I held from years of trauma. I considered the decisions I made that I wasn’t proud of. I pondered the possibilities connected to the projects I put on hold because I didn’t believe in myself. The more I sifted through my soul, the more junk I discovered. The reality of my weighted existence made me sick to my stomach. My soul sifting would be tedious, long and painful. Nevertheless, I would be up to the marathon.

The change of seasons gives us a great segue to establishing purpose in our quest to discover destiny. God has folded in the perfect “soul-sifting” calendar for us to reflect on the things that empower our lives and the things that inhibit our greatness. Holding on to old thoughts, poor decisions and lost possibilities makes the move toward a lighter and brighter life harder than it has to be. When we take in the timeline of our lives and see the lessons God built in its framework, we truly live, move and have our being.

What’s on your shelf? What do you need to release in order to truly experience happiness? Whom have you not forgiven? Where have you not taken a closer look? The truth about cleansing and embracing newness is that neither will occur until you dare to be transparent with yourself and eliminate the emotional toxins that get in your way. Jesus declared that he came to offer a more “abundant” life. You may be surprised to discover in your soul sifting that the very key to bliss is buried underneath your maybe’s and your used to be’s. As spring kisses us on the cheek and takes her seat, turn on the light within you, make peace with everything that stops you from moving forward and skip your way towards a new you. : :

talkback Comments from goqnotes.com. and facebook.com/qnotescarolinas. Web comments are not edited for grammar or punctuation.

Remembering Blake Readers responded with an outpouring of support after the news of teenaged transgender activist Blake Brockington (goqnotes.com/34689/).

My heart goes out to the family and friends of Blake. He was a frequent visitor at my house because he and my daughter were friends. I have taken much interest in Blake’s struggles and I am heartbroken that he chose to surrender to the fight of being overwhelmed with grief from narrow-minded individuals that make it hard for people such as Blake to be just who they are..human. We as a people need to really take a look at the importance of self-determination and not pass judgement on the LGBT community. Doing so, continues to place people of the LGBT community in a state of isolation and hopelessness. I, too had to come to terms that people are different and their choices don’t always match ours, but we need to embrace each other and see that its the difference that make this world unique and interesting. How many more youth do we have to lose before we take a stand to end this horrific tragedy from continuing. Rest in peace Blake. Love you.

— Tracy Setzer, March 24, goqnotes.com I had the pleasure of meet this kid and I am outraged at the state.

He was (like me) a productive of Mecklenburg county foster care. He age out and attempted to sign himself back in. However he was not a priority to the county and so ignored and left to be homeless sleeping on

couches and struggling to survive. He spoke for people who don’t have much of a voice in society, BUT WHO WAS SPEAKING FOR HIM!!! I AM OUTRAGED! His emotional health and quality of life could have been vastly improved if he was heard.

— Jamika, March 24, goqnotes.com Blake was a good friend but an even better person, which says a lot to anyone who knew his friendship. He was an incredibly hard worker and put his best into everything that he did. He was so intentional in making people feel like they were someone of value and importance and when he hugged you, he literally picked you up. He was a person that made your life better simply by being in it. Rest in peace, Blake.

— Kaitlin Klotz, March 24, goqnotes.com Until we rally around our youth & begin to support them we will continue to lose them. Your fears become their faults of not being accepted as a person. God don’t make mistakes & is the creator of us all. Respect, acceptance, & love is what is needed to assure them there is a place in this world for ALL of GOD’s children regardless of your faith in the Higher Power. “I am what God says I Am” not who you want me to be. My heart goes out to the family & friends that loved him for who he let you see.

Cherish the memory. God bless & strengthen you in this time of sorrow.

Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal.

— Deacon Robin D. Jewell, March 24, goqnotes.com

goqnotes.com/to/views

views

editor’s note

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

Six things we’ve learned six months after marriage We’ve learned a lot of meaningful lessons in the six months after LGBT couples in North Carolina began tying the legal knot. Chief among them — we’re still here. The Carolina blue sky hasn’t fallen. Chicken Little is absolutely safe and sound.

I’m being a bit facetious, sure. But from the screams and tantrums of those opposed to equality for LGBT people, one could have well been led to believe the opening of legal, civil marriage services for same-gender couples was bound to have caused the wrath of God to open up in judgement against the entirety of humanity, resulting in the final end of the world.

They were right in only one respect. The only world ending is that of anti-LGBT bigotry, even as the earth continues spinning along its axis just as it has for billions of years.

The “culture war” over LGBT marriage equality is quickly coming to an end. This month, the U.S. Supreme Court takes up oral arguments in what is widely expected to result in a final, LGBT equality affirming end to more than a decade of marriage ballot initiatives, lawsuits and campaigns.

But what we’re left with are several salient lessons on what this marriage movement and momentum has taught us. In the six months since marriage equality came to the Old North State, here are six things we’d do well to remember and reflect on: 1. We aren’t invisible, we aren’t alone.

The week leading up to a final decision on marriage in North Carolina saw the local and statewide LGBT community pull together in vibrant, visible ways. As TV news crews leered for their piece of the breaking news pie, LGBT people and couples came out in anticipation, expectation and celebration. On Friday of that week, dozens of couples lined up in Greensboro, Raleigh and Asheville shined bright and happy smiles as they filed in offices kept open late for marriage licenses and nuptials.

The following Monday, Charlotte saw dozens of couples doing the same — resulting in the highest number of marriage licenses ever issued in a single day there. In the months since, Mecklenburg County’s register of deeds has estimated more than 640 same-gender marriages in his county, a whopping nearly 30 percent of all marriages performed.

Imagine the sense of community, affirmation and empowerment being felt by those LGBT people watching at home. From closeted teens or adults to those unable to join in the celebration, the ability to see so many smiling LGBT couples finally taking advantage of a legal right once denied to them must have been a powerful experience, indeed. It certainly was a powerful and meaningful day for the many couples and their friends and family. As one person told us for our feature this issue, the feeling from that day hasn’t faded, its awe and inspiration as strong today as it was six months ago.

2. We’re beautifully diverse.

The couples who lined up for marriage licenses across the state represented every portion and segment of our community — white, black, Asian, Latino, young, old, male, female, rich, poor, urban, suburban and rural — proving how beautifully diverse, strong and present our community is. From the smallest of counties to the largest of the state’s biggest metro areas, LGBT families are vibrant, important members of their communities.

3. Families are protected.

Marriage might not be the most important LGBT equality issue on your list of priorities, but it is important. Just ask the couples and families who can now safely say they’re protected in medical decisions, financial hardships and child care. Especially for those families with children, marriage and all the legal benefits and privileges it confers offers safety and peace of mind. Those opposed to marriage for LGBT people often cite the interest and welfare of children. They couldn’t be more right — all children, even children of same-gender couples, deserve the safety and surety of government’s and society’s protection and affirmation of their parents’ relationship.

4. Others need protection, too.

And on the flip side — marriage equality doesn’t offer protections for LGBT people in other areas of life. Marriage equality doesn’t end employment discrimination, health disparities or social, civic or religious challenges and exclusion. It’s important to remember that marriage is not, has not, cannot and must not be the end-all, be-all of our LGBT equality movement.

5. We have more work to do.

As marriage moves across the country, the religious right and other conservatives have picked up new fights. The backlash is palpable, but so, too, is our ability to challenge their continued efforts to discriminate against LGBT people and families. In places like Indiana, the backlash to a so-called “religious freedom” discrimination law has resulted in efforts to re-think, re-tool or completely ditch laws designed to uphold a discriminatory status quo. As a movement, we’ll have to stay vigilant against outright or even surreptitious attempts to re-codify legally sanctioned discrimination.

6. Where do we go from here?

Perhaps less a lesson and more a question of essentials, the last six months has shown our movement has decisions to make — on priority, on investment, on interest. With attention on marriage beginning to fade after more than a decade in the spotlight, we’ll have to figure out ways to better address the needs of those who have gone largely ignored — women, people of color, transgender people, elders. We’ll have to devote equitable resources, time, attention and energy into better advocacy for a fuller, more diverse cross section of our community. : :

join the discussion We welcome your letters to the editor (200 or words or less) and guest commentaries (600 words or less).

Submit them to letters@goqnotes.com.

April 10-23 . 2015

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news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen & Matt Comer

Film fest showcases documentary CHARLOTTE — The GayCharlotte Film Festival will be held April 23-26 at Theatre Charlotte, 501 Queens Rd. One featured film, “brocKINGton,” is a documentary short profiling the experiences Blake Brockington, a transgender youth activist who died as the result of suicide on March 23 (see story on page 9). It be shown during a free community event on April 26, 6 p.m., followed by a panel discussion with filmmakers and the community.

Additional screenings of the short will occur for valid ticket holders before other films that weekend: Friday, April 24, 6:45 p.m., Saturday, April 25, 3:45 p.m. and 9 p.m. The film received Best Documentary Short at the Austin Gay and Lesbian International Film Festival. It was created by Elon University student filmmakers Mason Sklut, Maggie Sloane and Sergio Ingato.

The festival kicks off with “To Be Takei” on April 23 at 7 p.m.

Other films with dates and times are: April 24, “Tiger Orange,” 7 p.m., and “My Straight Son,” 9 p.m.; April 25, “The Circle,” 4 p.m., “Tru Love,” 7 p.m., and “Out in the Night,” 9 p.m.; and April 26, “The Dog,” 2 p.m., “Boy Meets Girl,” 4 p.m., and “Eat With Me,” 7 p.m.

Tickets are $10/at the door, $8/online and $5/Charlotte Film Society members, students and seniors. info: charlottelgbtfilm.com. facebook.com/gaycharlottefilm/events.

— L.M

Charlotte Theatre nets grant

CHARLOTTE — Carolinas Pride Theatre Ensemble has obtained $15,000 in grant money from the Pride Youth Theatre Alliance’s Mukti Fund.

Jermaine Nakia Lee serves the group as its founder and artistic director.

Created for youth and young adults on society’s fringe, the ensemble gathers together to enjoy theatre activities, mentorship by theatre professionals, Broadway touring shows and staging of original work each season free of charge.

Members include those who are people of color, economically challenged, LGBT individuals and allies, immigrants, women and the physically challenged. It is open to school-aged children and up to 29-years-olds.

The organization said it was “dedicated to giving voice to many who are silenced because of the pervasive homo and trans* phobia that exists in this region.” It is committed to diversity through the use of shared themes which they hope will “change hearts and minds.”

The ensemble is a project of The Freedom Center for Social Justice and is one of 24 groups across the U.S., Canada and the U.K. It holds an annual conference with this year’s event is being hosted by Company Q out of Lexington, Ky., from Aug. 13-16. Workshops sessions are currently being developed and information about them is forthcoming.

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April 10-23 . 2015

It is currently holding open casting calls.

Participants should be willing to make a ninemonth commitment to developing and performing theatrical, dance and voice pieces based upon social justice issues. It is open to those from 7-70. Prior to performances which are held every four to six weeks, practices are held twice a month for two hours. Those interested in casting for the ensemble should contact Norena Gutierrez. info: Norena Gutierrez, ngutierrez@fcsj.org.

980-729-8454. prideyouththeatrealliance.org.

— L.M.

PFLAG welcomes Curtis

CONCORD — PFLAG Concord/Kannapolis will host Jamie Curtis, eastern regional field director for PFLAG National, at its meeting on May 12, 7 p.m., at Central United Methodist Church, 30 Union St. N. She will discuss LGBT issues from a national level.

Curtis also is involved in PFLAG’s outreach to faith communities. She is a graduate of American University, Washington, D.C., with a Bachelor’s degree in international relations. info: ckplag@gmail.com.

— L.M.

Chorus sings ‘big’

CHARLOTTE — The Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte will present their “Big Gay Sing 3: Dancing with Dorothy,” on April 25, 8:04 p.m., at the Booth Playhouse, 130 N. Tryon St. Enjoy listening to tunes from the past 40 years that showcased the LGBT historical movement

in song and dance. Celebrate the music that shaped LGBT culture and culture at large.

Delighted Tobehere, formerly known as Roxy C. Moorecox, will provide levity to the evening’s program.

Tickets are $25-35/reserved and $10/children under 12 and are available online at carolinatix. org/events/detail/big-gay-sing-3-dancing-withdorothy or at the CarolinaTix box office in the lobby. Call 704-372-1000 for more information. info: gmccharlotte.org.

— L.M.

info: northstarlgbtcc.com. facebook.com/memorialdayspringfling/.

— L.M.

Scholarship apps due

CHARLOTTE — Blumenthal Performing Arts Center has announced that lesbian recording artist Melissa Etheridge will perform at the Knight Theatre, 430 S. Tryon St., on Aug. 23, 7 p.m.

Out on the Town LGBT affinity group members have priority access to the show. Call 704-372-1000 and mention “email club priority” to participate.

This is Etheridge’s “This Is M.E. Solo” tour.

Tickets start at $20.

For those who want to join the group, send name, email address and address via email outonthetown@ncbpac.org. Club members receive special ticket discount offers, as well as free mixers either before or after certain performances. info: blumenthalarts.org.

— L.M.

WINSTON-SALEM — Equality WinstonSalem announced that application for the Kevin Jennings Equality Winston-Salem Scholarship is due by April 15 at 5 p.m.

Monies go to deserving student applicants who use the funds to help offset the cost of tuition, fees, room and board and/or other college expenses.

Criteria for consideration are for students who have shown leadership and vision in a GSA at their school or in the general LGBT community if no alliance exists within the school, the organization said. It will award up to $3,500 this year. An in-person interview may be part of the selection process.

Selection will be made by May 4. Recipients will be notified by an organization representative.

The scholarship was established in 2013 and was renamed in 2015 for activist Jennings for his generosity and to acknowledge his struggles during his teens in the 1970s in Forsyth County and Winston-Salem. He went on to found GLSEN and also served as assistant deputy secretary of education in President Barack Obama’s administration in 2009. info: equalitywinstonsalem.org.

Pride gets ‘Tupperware Party’ night

Tea benefits ASO

Etheridge to hit Queen City

CHARLOTTE — Charlotte Pride and Blumenthal Performing Arts Center are teaming up on July 9 for an evening’s performance of “Dixie’s Tupperware Party” at 7:30 p.m. in the Booth Playhouse at 130 N. Tryon St. The partnership allows for discounted tickets to the show. Orders enable Charlotte Pride to receive a portion of the ticket sales as part of its fundraising efforts.

Out on the Town will host a post-show for attendees after the performance. It will include appetizers and two free drinks for those who purchase theatre tickets through bit. ly/1xUUWRz. Tickets start at $18. info: charlottepride.org.

— L.M.

Triad Center packed with events

WINSTON-SALEM — North Star LGBT Community Center, 704 Brookstown Ave., has announced a plethora of events for its members and friends over the next several weeks.

On April 10, transgender singer/songwriter Eli Conley will be in concert at 7:30 p.m. at the center. He will be joined by local transgender musician Adam Plant who will open the evening’s program. Admission is $10 at the door.

The following day, there will be an LGBT youth group fun day from 1-3 p.m. Included are members of high school GSAs. Pizza and games will be provided for this social outlet.

The center will hold Potluck with a Purpose on April 25 at 12 p.m. This new initiative is a combination of social time along with lectures or workshops for the LGBT community. It will lead off with “Emotional Intelligence” as the topic.

On May 24, 4 p.m., a Memorial Day Spring Fling will be held at Lasater Mill House, 7951 Lasater Rd., in Clemmons, N.C. Attendees will be able to enjoy music, food, cash bar and fun while being part of a fundraiser for the center.

Maxine Nightingale and Suitcase will be the featured performers.

A $25 contribution is requested at the door or online in mid-April.

LEXINGTON — A High Tea and Fashion Show will be held on April 12, 3 p.m., at the Edward C. Smith Civic Center, 217 S. Main St. This annual family-friendly event benefits Positive Wellness Alliance and is supported by The Adam Foundation.

Attendees will be able to enjoy food, fun and fashion from five local boutiques along with one designer.

Those featured are: Army/Navy Store, 14 North Main St. (Carhartt children’s clothing); The Bees Knees, 16 W. 2nd Ave. (clothing for children from birth to age five); Black Dog Emporium, 22 S.Main St. (vintage clothing); Southern Chic Salon and Boutique, 211 S. Main St. (urban southern style clothing); and Southern Sleek, 125 S. Main St. (trendy women’s clothing, embroidered children’s clothing and Southern T-shirts).

The Buttercup Cafe’s Mary Berrier from Denton, N.C., will serve high tea fare in full style.

Also in attendance will be Emmeline Photography who will be creating memories of the festivities.

Fine china sponsor is Edward Jones Schoonmaker, 155 W Center St., and Earl Gray sponsor is Breeden Insurance, 312 W. Center St. Tickets are $20/adults over 18, $10/children 6-17 and free for those under 5 years of age. Visit eventbrite.com/e/pwa-high-tea-fashion-show2015-tickets-16250832678 for advance purchases. info: positivewellnessalliance.org.

— L.M.

Foundation’s grant season opened

WINSTON-SALEM — The Adam Foundation, a 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organization, is now accepting grant applications. The deadline is April 30.

The Foundation raises money in the community and distributes those funds to local agencies as grants in accordance with its mission statement.

Complete details on eligibility and guidelines are available online. For more information, email grants@adamfoundation.org. info: adamfoundation.org.

— L.M.

goqnotes.com/to/news

Film screenings approaching

WINSTON-SALEM — Out at the Movies Winston-Salem will screen the fantasy/musical comedy “Were the World Mine” on April 11, 7 p.m., at the University of North Carolina School of the Arts’ ACE Theatre, 1533 S. Main St. The movie tells the story of a bullied and demoralized gay student at an all-boys school who uses a magical flower derived from Shakespeare’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” to turn many in his community gay, including a hunky rugby player for himself.

On May 9, the group will bring “Morgan” for viewing at the ACE Theatre at 7 p.m.

Newly paraplegic Morgan Oliver just wants his life to be like it was before the accident. A chance encounter with Dean Kagen on a basketball court makes Morgan more determined that being in a wheelchair will not change him.

Tickets for either showing is $7/regular, $6/ seniors and students, and will be available in the lobby beginning at 6:15 p.m. info: outatthemovieswinston.org.

— L.M.

Triangle Trans* Month events slated

RALEIGH/DURHAM — The LGBT Center of Raleigh, 234 S. Harrington St., and the LGBTQ Center of Durham have designated April as Trans* Month of Awareness for the Triangle area.

They, along with sponsors and partners such as Rainbow Community Care, ACLU and North Carolina Harm Reduction Coalition, are providing social events and educational opportunities throughout the month, plus a full day of workshops on April 11.

The observance kicked off on April 1 with a discussion group with the NCHRC. On April 2, a lunch and learn was held with PFLAG Triangle at

Pilgrim United Church of Christ in Durham, 3011 Academy Rd., covering allies and advocacy. The event skipped back over to the Raleigh center on April 4 for an open mic night with the local Stonewall Kickball team.

During the week of April 6, transgender community members and others met with state legislators, capped off with roller skating on April 7.

An all-day conference will be held on April 11, 9 a.m.-6 p.m. at the Raleigh center.

This year’s conference includes an informative session about gender identity beyond male and female models. Content will include challenging assumptions of the normalcy of binary gender, gender identity, pronoun usage and how to be a good ally to non-binary friends.

Also at the Raleigh center on April 13 will be the Gender Affirming Book Club meeting at 6:30 p.m. and the Gender Support Group peer-led discussion group at 8 p.m.

The NCHRC will present another transgender discussion group on April 15, 8 p.m., at

news

Internationalist Books, 101 Lloyd St., Carrboro.

On the following day, April 16, the “It’s Your World MSM Summit - Where Community Meets Reality” will be held beginning at 9 a.m., at the Hayti Heritage Center, 804 Old Fayetteville St., Durham. Full details and registration are available online. Cost is $10 which includes lunch.

On April 17, feminist and New York legal activist attorney Diana Adams will present “Transgender Issues in Family Law” with the Durham center at 7:30 p.m.. She will be speaking on “issues specific to the representation of transgender clients in family law matters, including family formation, assisted reproduction technologies, and divorce.” Email info@ lgbtqcenterofdurham.org to learn more.

The Durham Gender Alliance meeting will be held on April 18 at Eno River Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, 4907 Garrett Rd. Email soy-lea@yahoo.com for more information.

Also on that day, an evening of transgender bowling will take place. Contact the centers to obtain time and location.

An affirming faith forum, “Intersectionality,” will be presented by NCHRC on April 24, 6:30 p.m., at the Raleigh center.

On April 25, 3 p.m., at K.S. Lee’s Best Martial Arts Academy, 1877 Lake Pine Dr., Cary, for a self-defense class for trans*, non-binary, gender-queer and gender-variant individuals.

The month-long observance winds down on April 27, 8 p.m., Raleigh center, with a T-Time Supper Club social event. It is open to all genders along the spectrum including non-binary identities and those questioning their gender, or even gender itself. Respectful allies are also welcome. info: lgbtcenterofraleigh.com. lgbtqcenterofdurham.org. triempowerment.org/events.

— L.M.

‘Rent’ mounted at theatre

RALEIGH — The popular and iconic musical “Rent” will be staged at the North Raleigh Arts & Creative Theatre, 7713-51 Lead Mine Rd., from April 24-May 10.

SAGE Raleigh has announced that it will head out to see the performance as a group on April 25 at 8 p.m. Prior to the performance, theatre-goers have the opportunity to dine at Sawmill Taproom, 7701 Lead Mine Rd., at 6 p.m. with Prime Timers. They have invited members of SAGE who are attending the show to join them They also extended the invitation to the NC Triangle Single Gay Men Meetup group. Email coordinator Les Geller at lgeller@ lgbtcenterofraleigh.com to learn more.

Tickets are $17/adult and $14/student and senior and are available online. Show times are 8 p.m. on Friday and Saturday nights and 3 p.m. on Sundays.

In other news, SAGE Raleigh has shared that they will be taking a road trip to Asheville, N.C., from June 12-15.

Travelers’ accommodations will be handled through Extended Stay America, 6 Kenilworth Knoll. Coordinators have established a matchmaking service to pair those who wish to travel together or share a room.

Sightseeing will be the main fare during the jaunt. A tour of Biltmore House, walk through the River Arts District, shopping in Biltmore Village, drinks at the Grove Park Inn and tour of a vintage car museum. Other sights are hiking trails, floating on the French Broad River, hanging out at a drum circle in Pack Square on Friday night and more.

Email sage@lgbtcenterofraleigh.com for additional details. info: lgbtcenterofraleigh.com. ngact.org.

— L.M.

April 10-23 . 2015

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news notes: u.s./world.

Virginia school board restricts restroom use for transgender elementary student

HARTWOOD, Va. — A Virginia school board has voted to require transgender students to use a single stall restroom or a restroom of the student’s biological sex.

The Stafford County School Board voted 6-0 during the week of March 29 in favor of the policy in response to a Hartwood Elementary School transgender student who had been allowed to use the restroom and locker room aligned with the gender they identified with.

Support for changing the policy to isolate the trans student was in full force. As many as 15 parents spoke out against Hartwood’s trans-friendly restroom policy in what was

described as a “packed meeting,” reported the Fredericksburg Free Lance-Star.

One parent warned the school board of “throwing away the rights of many children for the wants of some confused children.”

The board chamber was nearly empty when the vote was taken, but earlier in the evening, the room was packed, and 20 speakers addressed the board — including a man who said he is the transgender student’s father.

“I have many of the exact same beliefs that many of you do,” Jonathon Adams said to those who opposed the school system’s initial action.

“I was astonished. And then I watched my little

girl grow up. I’m very proud to have a special little girl. I don’t mean just on the outside.”

Superintendent Bruce Benson said during the meeting, “The issue isn’t as clear as anyone would like it to be, and I’m hoping at some point that we get some direction either from our legislators in Virginia or from VSBA [Virginia School Boards Association].”

But LGBTQ advocates say the change in policy is not only wrong for the child, it’s against federal law.

“Putting policies in place to allow transgender students to use the bathroom that matches their gender identity is not only the right thing to do; it is also what schools should do in order to comply with Title IX,” said James Parrish, executive director for Equality Virginia.

“Fear and lack of understanding took the limelight” said Parrish, referencing the views expressed by most speakers at the March 31 meeting. : : — Brad Kutner, GayRVA.com via LGBTQ Nation (lgbtqnation.com), a qnotes media partner QUICK HITS —————————— The United Nations has rebuffed efforts by Russia to stop benefits for spouses of gay staffers. more: bit.ly/1I8xtjo Tokyo’s Shibuya ward has become the first to recognize same-gender marriage. more: bit.ly/1bSf2SC

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news

IN MEMORIAM

Transgender youth Blake Brockington mourned and remembered Teenage activist wanted to change the world

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com said that his faith was also an important part of his life.

Fittingly, Brockington’s partner, Flo Ethier, shared what they said was Brockington’s favorite passage from Scripture, I Corinthians 13.

Others remembered Brockington for his sense of love and compassion.

“Family isn’t determined by blood.

Family is determined by love,” friend Parker Petrucick shared during the service. “I can’t remember a single time that our conversations didn’t end with ‘I love you.’”

Petrucick also related a trip with Brockington to Trans Pride in Greensboro. Brockington had lost the written remarks for a speech he was to give. “He just went with it,” he said. “I remember there not being a dry eye in the room.”

From the outside, Brockington Young activist exuded a sense of confidence and wanted change strength, many have said in the In the year since his homepast week. But those close to him coming win and graduation, also knew Brockington was strugBrockington became an outspoken gling — with his transition and advocate, speaking at last year’s other issues.

Transgender Day of Remembrance When Rawls first met him, event and organizing public rallies Brockington told a group of conferand other grassroots campaigns ence attendees that he wasn’t sure if to raise awareness on police he wanted to continue to live or not. brutality and violence. In one ac“It sent a shudder through the tion in December, Brockington led whole space,” Rawls said. “But it activists in a brief shut down of Blake Brockington, pictured here for a story on his homecoming king nomination in 2014. opened up this deep conversation Independence Square at Trade & He had a strong message for the public — “we are still human.” that went on well into the night.”

Tryon Sts., followed by an impromp“I’m still a person,” Brockington said. “And trans people are Even in his struggle, Brockington exuded a spirit that was tu march through Uptown. He and other activists also planned still people. Our bodies just don’t match what’s up (in our heads). contagious, Rawls said. and coordinated a similar action at SouthPark Mall during the We need support, not people looking down at us or degrading us “He was larger than life,” she said. “Blake was just this Christmas shopping season. or overlooking us. We are still human.” powerful force.”

Brockington, who came out as transgender in his sophomore Minister Deborah Hopkins also spoke of struggle — and the year of high school, was active in East Meck’s band where he ‘Larger than life’ shared responsibility to work toward healing and love. served as drum major for two years. He also played on a student Brockington’s loss was felt at a memorial service held at “As strong as we are, there are moments in our life we really club rugby team.

Sacred Souls Community Church on March 29, where hugs, tears do have real issues and real struggles,” she said. “It’s going to East Mecklenburg High School teacher Martha Deiss, whom and memories filled the room of about three dozen community take them knowing there are people who love them and are there Brockington had for a civics and economics course his sophomore members and friends. for them.” year, said last year that he was one of her brightest students.

“This afternoon’s gathering is not about death — it is about Shane Windmeyer, executive director of Campus Pride, said “A great student,” Deiss said of Brockington. “Always had life,” Sacred Souls Community Church Pastor Tonyia Rawls told Brockington’s passing and similar incidents are a call to action. the highest grades.” those gathered as the memorial began.

“Days like today, the weeks recently, it hurts more and more,” His homecoming victory, he told qnotes at the time, was a way “He genuinely cared about everybody,” shared O’Neale said Windmeyer, who shared that his staff knew and worked with to build awareness and support for other transgender students.

Atkinson, director of programs at Time Out Youth Center, a local Brockington. “It is a tragic reminder of our duty as individuals to “I honestly feel like this is something I have to do,” LGBT youth services agency. “He cared about the world. Blake do more, to try better in changing lives and saving lives.”

Brockington said last year, noting few other transgender male recognized things needed to change. Not just one or two things, Atkinson said he was grateful for the memorial and the opstudents have had the opportunity. but a lot of things.” portunity to grieve, share and remember Brockington with others.

Brockington said at the time that winning will mean the most Brockington’s death had sent shockwaves through the com“We’re not alone in our suffering or in missing Blake, but for several younger transgender students he had mentored, munities in which he engaged, both locally and nationally. we’re all here together for each other.” including a nine-year-old boy.

“This is a loss for you all and a loss for our movement and our “He really looks up to me. That’s my heart,” Brockington said world,” said Rodney McKenzie, the National LGBTQ Task Force’s Support offered of his mentee. “He has support now and he will be able to avoid director of faith work, who traveled from New York City to join the Following news of Brockington’s death, staff at Time Out Youth just about everything I’m going through and I don’t want him to memorial in Charlotte.

Center offered counselors and space for support at their offices. ever have to be scared. I feel like if I do this, that’s one red flag When McKenzie heard of Brockington’s passing, he shared Brockington’s death is the second such local incident in for everybody to say, ‘Nobody should be scared to be themselves the news with other staff at the Task Force during a staff meeting. recent weeks. and everybody should have an equal opportunity to have an “All of us were incredibly touched and incredibly sad,” Those youth in need of support are encouraged to contact enjoyable high school experience.’”

McKenzie said. “This is something touching all us, everywhere,” Time Out Youth,timeoutyouth.org, 704-344-8335. Their center is But the homecoming win came with a price, Brockington told he added, noting remembrances being held for Brockington in located at 2320-A N. Davidson St. They are open Tuesday and The Charlotte Observer earlier this year. cities like Minneapolis and Washington, D.C. have staff and counselors available.

“That was single-handedly the hardest part of my trans Brockington’s regional and national profile as a transgender Those youth in need of immediate support can call the Trevor journey,” Brockington told the daily newspaper. “Really hateful activist was but one of his many faces. Rawls, who first met Project helpline at 1-866-488-7386 or access resources online at things were said on the Internet. It was hard. I saw how narrowBrockington at a Trans Faith in Action Conference in Charlotte, thetrevorproject.org. : : minded the world really is.”

Friends and community members have been mourning the passing of a local transgender youth activist, Blake Brockington, who died as the result of suicide on March 23.

Brockington, 18, was a 2014 graduate of East Mecklenburg High School where, last year, he was nominated and later crowned homecoming king as an openly transgender student after winning a fundraising competition and drawing in $2,335.55 for a charity chosen by the school. Brockington’s homecoming win is believed to be the first for an openly transgender student in Charlotte.

Brockington’s funeral was held by family on March 28 near Charleston, S.C.

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news

Why N.C.’s ‘religious freedom bill is worse than Indiana’s Analysis: Slight wording differences make for big impact

by Chris Kromm :: Facing South

In the wake of court decisions legalizing same-sex marriage, 2015 has seen many state legislatures take up bills that would restrict LGBT rights, including so-called “religious freedom” laws. (Map: Human Rights Campaign)

Indiana Gov. Mike Pence (R) ignited a national firestorm last month after signing into law the Religious Freedom Restoration Act, which critics argue provides a “license to discriminate” against gay people and others.

Angie’s List, Apple, Yelp and other companies condemned the move and even threatened to nix expansion projects in the state, prompting the governor to say he wants lawmakers to “clarify the intent” of the law.

But just as Indiana’s law was gaining national infamy, North Carolina lawmakers introduced matching Religious Freedom Restoration Act bills in the state House and Senate — and according to legal scholars, the introduced legislation could pose an even greater threat than Indiana’s to civil rights.

As in Indiana, proponents of the North Carolina Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA) argue the legislation is modeled on a 1993 law passed by Congress and signed

by President [Bill] Clinton. The federal law proclaimed that the government cannot pass laws that “substantially burden” people’s ability to follow their religion, unless the state can prove there’s a “compelling interest” in doing so and has no other way to meet that compelling interest.

In 1997, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the federal law applied only to the federal government, spurring a number of states to enact their own RFRA laws — a trend that has grown in the wake of debates over gay civil rights and marriage equality.

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However, the measure proposed by North Carolina lawmakers differs from the federal law — and “religious freedom” laws in most other states — in at least one key respect: It makes it easier for individuals to claim a law or policy is a threat to their religious beliefs, and to sue to opt out of complying.

Under the 1993 federal statute and most similar state laws, the person using RFRA has to show that obeying a law — for example, complying with a local ordinance preventing housing discrimination for a gay couple — would pose a “substantial burden” to following his or her religious beliefs.

But the proposed North Carolina bill dilutes that language, requiring that those claiming their religious liberty is at risk prove only that obeying the law is a “burden” — substantial or not.

Of the 19 other states with RFRA laws, only two — Alabama and Mississippi — omit the word “substantial.” In the South, existing laws in Florida, Kentucky, Louisiana, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas and Virginia all include the “substantial burden” standard, as does a proposed (and hotly-contested) measure in Arkansas.

That small change in wording could have big legal consequences. As conservative legal scholar Eugene Volokh notes, while it’s clearly difficult to define what constitutes a “substantial” burden, several courts have used the “substan-

see Religious Freedom on 20

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Six Months After Marriage Looking back: Where we’ve been, what we’ve learned and charting new courses since October’s North Carolina marriage equality decision

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com “I still get a huge grin on my face when I think about that day,” Jessy Milicevic tells me, reflecting back on the first full day when same-gender couples could legally wed in Charlotte.

“It was the spirit in the air,” she continues. “These people had waited for so long just to be validated. They didn’t want anything special or any sort of special treatment — just to be validated and appreciated in North Carolina as a legal couple.”

Milicevic’s recollections don’t stray too far from others. Couples, activists, even myself, we all look back with amazement on a week of anticipation and a final, glorious day of celebration.

Six months ago, I had also been sitting and waiting. Waiting for five long days on the slow-as-molasses court system to order what everyone knew would be the final outcome. On Oct. 6, the U.S. Supreme Court had declined to take up appeals on marriage cases from the Fourth Circuit and several others, launching a dizzying week of hurryup-and-wait expectation. Any day, any time, district courts in North Carolina, or, perhaps, a rogue register of deeds, could swing open the doors to legally recognized marriages for LGBT couples.

Anxious anticipation I had sat at the Mecklenburg County Register of Deeds office nearly all day, nearly every day that week, reporting from the scene and spending time with couples and community members. Finally, on Friday, Oct. 10, minutes after the register of deeds office closed, a district court judge in Western North Carolina handed down the order upholding the Fourth Circuit’s earlier, favorable ruling on marriage.

Dozens of couples in Greensboro, Raleigh and Asheville wed that night.

When Monday, Oct. 13 rolled around, dozens of Charlotte Thomas and Jerry Reed-Hall, pictured here on Oct. 13, 2014, receiving their marriage license in Mecklenburg County. couples began lining up as the sun began to rise, immediately Photo Credit: Jennifer Hogan (hoganimaging.com) filing into the Mecklenburg Register of Deeds office to claim legal long been a concern for LGBT families. Now, the couple’s children Jerry’s fears were eventually allayed, and the opening of marriage licenses as soon as the doors opened at 8 a.m. are fully protected. They’re even planning on making Jerry their legal marriage here at home made the couple’s prior plans unMilicevic, who’d waited the anxious days with others, was legal stepfather. necessary. They’d already booked a Thanksgiving trip to New present that Monday, too, officiating small and intimate courtyard “It opens a lot of doors,” Thomas says — doors that used to York City. There, they were slated to be married. weddings for many of those who chose to tie the knot right then be shut to LGBT-led families.

“We wanted to be able to put the kids on Jerry’s insurance, and there. because he has such a great plan,” says Thomas. The couple In total, more than 60 same-gender couples claimed their Wading into new waters couldn’t wait any longer. marriage licenses that day. Thomas Reed-Hall and Jerry ReedLocal attorney Connie Vetter has long worked with LGBT But the legal decision in North Carolina made Hall were among them — couples and families. Before marriage, it took a bevy of legal dreams of a hometown wedding possible — alshocked the day they could Marriage stats forms and considerations to piecemeal many of the protections lowing their families to join in. legally wed in their home state Resource: that come automatically with a marriage certificate.

“His parents couldn’t go with us to New had come so soon.

Mecklenburg County Register of Deeds And, in that respect, the extension of marriage to sameYork,” Thomas says. “Even with a later formal “There was no way I gender couples has been a good thing, offering families legal wedding, they really wanted to watch the real thought it would have hap641 estimated number of same-gender recognition as next of kin. It makes financial decisions, healththing go down. It was amazing that all of a sudpened as quickly as it did,” marriages, Oct. 13-March 1 care considerations and other matters simpler. den they actually did get to watch us get marJerry says. “It was one of 27.3% percentage of all marriages that were But the last six months have also proven that marriage is more ried. It worked out great and it was perfect.” those things, you just looked same-gender couples than a fast track to benefits. It comes with legal responsibilities, too.

Thomas and Jerry took their license that day up and it happened and within 63% percentage of same-gender marriages “Although many of us see marriage as being about love and and planned a legal ceremony for Oct. 24. This a week it could be legal. I between female couples affection and family, marriage is actually a legal contract,” says year, one year to the day, they’ll hold a formal wedremember being skeptical and 37% percentage of same-gender marriages Vetter, calling it a “double-edged sword.” A lot of good comes ding ceremony, just two days shy of the anniverthinking this was not going to between male couples with a marriage certificate, like that automatic next-of-kin status. sary celebrating when they first met. happen and we’d be the last But, Vetter adds quickly, “depending on your point view, there The couple’s experience — the need to marry ones to approve it just beare less good things like giving upward to half your property in sooner rather than later out of concerns for family needs — has cause of the traditional conservative values in the Southeast.”

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a break up or a divorce. These are things people haven’t fully thought about.”

Vetter has spent the last six months counseling couples on the meaning of marriage and all the considerations they now have to take into account. Some concerns are minor and routine — like still ensuring strong wills, updating property ownership records and healthcare power of attorney forms, all still essential in assisting even a married couple’s wishes are respected.

Others concerns are significant and sometimes carry unintended consequences. Vetter points to the lack of employment protections in North Carolina.

“There are people losing their jobs because they got married and they either told their employer about it or their employer found out about it,” she says.

And with marriage equality, there also comes divorce equality. Vetter’s already seen it — primarily from those long-married couples who sought out legal weddings in other states.

“These people were literally wedlocked. They couldn’t get a divorce,” she says, adding that she’s seen no couple married at home in the last six months yet seeking out a divorce.

The opening of marriage in North Carolina means many couples are wading into new waters. Vetter’s seen older couples

who never dreamed of marriage now suddenly asking questions and considering its benefits.

“For people who grew up never thinking it was possible, it’s a bit of a learning curve,” she says.

Vetter herself had to ask for some real-life experience from her sister in law and other married friends. After marriage, who should own the family’s cars, Vetter questioned. It seemed simple, but it was just a new environment.

“For 20-odd years I had been telling unmarried couples it was a bad idea legally to own cars together,” Vetter says. “Married, different-sex couples own cars together all the time.

Charting a solid course Vetter isn’t alone in charting a new course after marriage equality. The new legal environment has given rise to a phenomenal array of options for same-gender couples. Navigating a new course that needs to be solid and secure can bring up topics one might have never considered before.

That’s why Vetter has assisted with Milicevic’s new community non-profit, Charlotte Family Resource, founded by Milicevic, Charlotte Business Guild President Chad Sevearance and financial advisor Will Hashemi.

The goal is simple — provide a roadmap for couples’ new journeys together.

“I’m a mother of three,” says Charlotte Family Resource seminars Milicevic. “There are so many resources when you get married Charlotte Family Resource will be providing a series of seminars over the next several months, as a straight couple. There is a each designed to tackle a specific issue or concern for LGBT families. The dates and topics are precedent. You know what to below. Visit charlottefamilyresource.org for more information and to register as each event nears. do at work or when you have a May 7 White Picket Fence: Purchasing a Home and Obtaining Loans, with Traci Mayo. child you know the doctors to go June 4 Because Two People Fell in Love: Adoption and Your Options, with Helene Nathanson to. There’s a wealth of knowlJuly 9 Because Two People Fell in Love: Surrogacy and Your Options, with Amy Wallas Fox edge for a straight couple. But Aug. 6 Because Two People Fell in love: Reproduction Options for an LGBT couple there’s not.”

Sept. 3 Nickels and Dimes: Planning for Your Financial Future, with Will Hashemi From protecting legal rights Oct. 1 Till Death Do Us Part: Healthcare Rights, Wills, Estates and Legal Documents, and navigating workplace with Connie Vetter and Tatiana Moreland human resources policies and

life

insurance to adoption, surrogacy and family planning, Milicevic says, “People are trying to figure things out on their own.”

Milicevic says Charlotte Family Resources exists to fill that gap. The group has offered several workshops already, featuring expert presenters with a proven track record of supporting the LGBT community. Milicevic was insistent that those brought on to help weren’t just in it for selfish reasons.

“We spent weeks and weeks vetting people,” she says. “Will and I wanted to make sure the people we brought on to give a seminar are people who have a genuine interest and passion in helping the community.”

Future workshop seminars — offered for free — will cover home buying, family planning and a slew of other topics.

All of them will be helpful for the more than 640 same-gender couples that Mecklenburg County Register of Deeds J. David Granberry estimates have wed in Charlotte since October, nearly 30 percent of all the marriages since then.

A positive outlook Advocates and community members are confident that an impending U.S. Supreme Court decision will be the final, positive end in a long trip toward legal marriage equality.

“I’m hopeful,” says Vetter. “I am absolutely hopeful.”

Thomas and Jerry Reed-Hall, too, say they have no reason to doubt the court will make the right decision.

Later this month, the Supreme Court will hear arguments in a national marriage equality case. A decision could be handed down by June.

“It’s like a domino effect, especially the last six months of 2014,” recounts Milicevic. “Every other week, a state was legalizing marriage. It was just one after another after another.”

The issue really is a non-issue, Milicevic says. The court won’t have any other option than to move forward.

“LGBT marriage is the same thing as straight marriage,” she says. : : — Take a look back on our past marriage equality special coverage archives at goqnotes.com/to/marriagenc/.

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life

Guilford Green Foundation fetes six months of marriage

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com With a sold out crowd, Greensboro’s Guilford Green Foundation feted six months of marriage equality at its Guilford Green Gala and after party on March 28.

Over 400 people joined in the annual celebration — this year dubbed the “wedding reception we’ve all been waiting for.” Held at The Proximity Hotel, attendees of the gala and after party were greeted with weddingthemed glitz and glamor as community members came together to raise funds supporting the foundation’s community grant programs and other work.

“It was completely fantastic,” says foundation Executive Director Brenna Ragghianti. “It was a sell-out crowd and we did better than we’ve ever done with the silent auction. It was a fun celebration, a fairy tale.”

The dinner’s theme came naturally after last fall’s marriage equality ruling in North Carolina and was dreamed up by gala co-chairs Cecelia Thompson, Nick Wyatt and Sarah Poole.

munity, the foundation also shifts its priorities and attention.

“Marriage equality didn’t end [the needs],” Ragghianti says. “We still have an epidemic of homeless LGBTQ youth. We still have transgender people who are denied housing and work and the ability to just use a public restroom. We have our elderly who are worried because they are actually being bullied back into the closet.”

Ragghianti adds, “GGF is really focused on trying to address those issues and people are interested. I think our events have been more greatly attended and people want to know how they can get in there and help. Once they find out what real issues are going on, no one can easily turn a blind eye to them.” : : more: Want to see more photos from the gala?

Visit us online at goqnotes.com.

❝ It was completely fantastic.

It was a sell-out crowd and we did better than we’ve ever done with the silent auction. It was a fun celebration, a fairy tale. ❞ — Guilford Green Foundation Executive Director Brenna Ragghianti

April Parker and Nikki Mintz tie the knot before the Guilford Green Foundation Gala.

Photo Credit: Moments by Ivy Photography.

“They are a really creative group and they put their heads together and came up with the idea,” says Ragghianti. “They said that we have to stop and celebrate this huge accomplishment. It doesn’t mean our work is finished, but at least we can say, yes, we did this and pat each other on the back and raise our glasses in toast to success.”

The dinner and party, the group’s largest fundraiser each year, also honored community leaders for their work in and on behalf of the LGBT community. April Parker, founder of Greensboro’s Queer People of Color Collective, was given the group’s Leadership Award.

Attorney Ron Johnson was given the Visionary Award, with Guilford Country Register of Deeds Jeff Thigpen receiving the Service Award and former U.S. Sen. Kay Hagan receiving the Dawn Chaney Award.

Parker got more than an award that night.

Before the gala, a private wedding ceremony was held for Parker and her wife Nikki Mintz.

“It was gorgeous,” says Ragghianti. “They were able to invite 35 of their closest friends and family and get married in a private way and celebrate publicly in the gala.”

Guilford Green Foundation uses the money raised at the gala and other events, like their regular Green Queen Bingo activities, to fund grants to local non-profits. As needs shift and change in the LGBT com-

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a&e Logo to premiere two shows from ‘Queer as Folk’ creator goqnotes.com/to/arts

‘Cucumber’ and ‘Banana’ feature interlinked, parallel storylines

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

“Cucumber” and “Banana” are TV’s first two standalone series featuring parallel and interlinked stories and characters.

The hour-long “Cucumber” follows the lives of Henry Best and his boyfriend of nine years, Lance Sullivan. The half-hour “Banana” follows the individual lives of a diverse cast of younger characters orbiting Henry’s world. The latter is presented as an anthology of separate, linked tales of modern love — “the romantic, the obsessed, the hopeful, the lonely, the lost and the lucky,” according to a press In a scene from ‘Cucumber,’ cast members (left to right): release.

Both TV series are set in Peter Caulfield (Francisco), Vincent Franklin (main character Manchester, England.

Henry Best) and Cyril Nri (Lance Sullivan, Henry’s partner).

In a release, Davies, also known for Photo Credit: Courtesy Logo TV. his work on “Doctor Who,” said: ”It’s an honour and delight to team up with The creator of the U.K.’s original “Queer as Logo for these brand new dramas. It’s 16 years Folk,” which spawned a five-season U.S. hit for since I created ‘Queer As Folk,’ which means I’ve Showtime, is back in the gay TV game again. had 16 years to build up new characters, new Premiering on Logo on April 13, writer Russell T stories, and new insights into our lives. Across Davies’ “Cucumber” and “Banana” are getting both series, we explore gay, lesbian, bisexual rave reviews for their unique and interlinked and transgender stories, as well as love beyond storylines. The shows will debut on Logo at 10 labels — this is 50 shades of gay, and beyond!” p.m. on April 13, following “RuPaul’s Drag Race.”

The two series were originally produced

by Channel 4 and are being co-produced in the U.S. by Logo TV and BBC Worldwide North America.

According to a release, the two series star: Vincent Franklin, known for his work in

see New Shows on 18

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New shows continued from page 17 the BBC’s “The Thick of It” and “Twenty Twelve” as well as films including “The Bourne Identity” and “The Illusionist,” joins Julie Hesmondhalgh (“Coronation Street”), Freddie Fox (“Pride,” “The Three Musketeers”), Cyril Nri (“The Bill”) and James Murray (“Defiance”) in the cast, which also features up and coming talent including Fisayo Akinade in his first major TV role, Kamen (“Killjoys”), Andrew Hayden-Smith (“Doctor Who”), Luke Newberry (“In the Hannah John-Flesh”), Letitia Wright (“Top Boy”), Georgia Henshaw (“Waterloo Road”) and comedian Bethany Black in her television debut. : :

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The cast of ‘Banana’ (right to left): Hannah John-Kamen (Violet), Georgia Henshaw (Sian Moore), Mike Coombes (Meatballs), Letitia Wright (Scottie), Fisayo Akinade (Dean Monroe).

Photo Credit: Courtesy Logo TV.

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tell trinity

by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

Greek Mythology: Give me your son’s virginity or get out Dear Trinity, Last year, I visited a friend and thought it was great, but when I asked to visit again, he said in so many words, “Only when you become a better houseguest!” What did I do wrong?

Confused Guest, Baltimore, MD Dear Confused Guest, In the days of Greek mythology, the “Overnight Houseguest Rule” stated, “The host must offer not only a feast [to his guest], but sometimes also offer his son for pleasure. However, if the houseguest stayed past a night, then the houseguest must offer his host a plethora of fabrics, gems and, possibly, his own son or daughter for sex or for marriage.” Similarly, today’s rule states, “If you stay one night only, expect to be treated well, but after that expect to treat your host equally as well, especially if visiting for a week.” If you want to be the perfect houseguest, start with a gift, continue (after a day) with dinner and end (after a week) by cleaning up after yourself, a thank you card or a call. Honey, at least you don’t have to forego your child’s virginity!

Dearest Trinity, I’m dating the most wonderful, charming and… married man. He’s great, and we have so much

fun, but complications have risen and I’m getting scared. Help?

The Married Date, Maui, HI Dearest Married Date, Life, men and dating are all hard enough, but dating someone married can definitely be the hardest! So, sweetie, I have two questions, “What the hell did you expect?” and “What the hell do you expect? Dating someone married always means living a “Hollywood drama” and having some “High Anxiety” (think Mel Brookes)! (This whole issue can make you dizzy, like swirling in the vortex! Take a gander at my cartoon on how it affects me.)

Hey Trinity, I met a couple that wants me for a threeway.

What do you think?

Three For Dinner, Panama City, FL Hey Three For Dinner, In 10 years from now, there’ll be plenty of books on this subject, but for now threeways are still slightly taboo. However, being with a couple, as the third “without expectation” of a relationship may not only be adventurous and exciting, but may be a happy handful. Oh, and darling, call me with their number when you’re done!

a&e

Hello Trinity, I can’t keep a job to save my life.

Any advise!

Job Less, Brooklyn, NY Hello Job Less, Are you showing up in a wrinkled suit or with a cellphone attached to your ear? Pumpkin, there are right ways to go to work, to act at work and to keep a job. If you’re still confused read: Trinity’s Smart Tips For Keeping Your Job 1. Show up on time. Late employees always get fired!

2. Be social even if you’re not.

People like working around others they feel comfortable with.

3. Practice camaraderie. Practice conformity without conflict. And, practice individuality without selfishness!

4. P roblems and personal projects should be kept at home. A job is a place where you work for someone else not for yourself or on your problems!

5. Y our knowledge should be used not just to better yourself. It’s normal to manipulate the system, but manipulate it to better your employer, too.

6. S ay yes as often as you can. If you really don’t agree you can say, “Yes but…!” Be positive and affirming even if it’s not your nature.

7. Never allow yourself to become too comfortable or blasé or you may end up boring yourself right out of a job!

8. Talking bad about others always comes back to slap you in the face and may cost you more than just embarrassment!

9. Act like you’re at work not at a café! I know you’ve been employed there for years but… get to work!

10. Lastly, be respectful to your bosses, other employees and to your customers. Be all about the solutions not the problems! : : info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

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Religious freedom continued from page 10

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tial burden” test in deciding whether challenges under state and federal RFRA laws are valid.

Others say that the weak language in bills like North Carolina’s sends a dangerous message that such laws can be deployed as a “trump card,” allowing religion to be used as a reason to disobey the law. In 2014, the Baptist Joint Committee for Religious Liberty, which supports “religious freedom” laws, sent a letter to state legislators in Georgia condemning a bill (HB 1023) for omitting the “substantial” provision: “HB 1023 … differs in significant ways from the version of RFRA that the BJC has supported,” the letter reads. “These differences raise concerns about striking the right balance when religious liberty interests conflict with other important governmental interests, including the prohibition on government establishment of religion. Notably, HB 1023 just says government cannot burden religion — it doesn’t include the important modifier that the burden must be substantial. . . . Without the substantial burden requirement, nearly any state law or regulation could be subject to exemption challenges.

While religious liberty is one of our most precious rights, it is not an automatic trump card.”

The North Carolina bills include other language that favors those who claim their religious rights are being infringed. While the federal law and Indiana’s state that there must be a “compelling governmental interest” for infringing on religious beliefs, North Carolina’s goes a step further, stating there must be a “governmental interest of the highest magnitude” (emphasis added) to justify overriding religious beliefs. While “highest magnitude” isn’t defined, the Baptist Joint Committee notes this is a “hurdle” not required in the federal law.

The future of N.C.’s Religious Freedom Restoration Act is unclear. Gov. Pat McCrory (R) has expressed skepticism about the bill.

As The Washington Post notes, the vehement reaction against Indiana’s measure points to changing public attitudes that make passing such laws more difficult — and the political fallout more damaging.

As Chris Sgro of the advocacy group Equality North Carolina said after the North Carolina bills were filed: “Nobody wants to see this. You’ve got a handful of legislators that are pushing this on the state of North Carolina.

It shows … how out of touch the General Assembly is with North Carolina.” : : — Originally published by Facing South on March 30, 2015. Republished with permission.

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daily news, blog posts and lgbt community event listings Sign up for our weekly e-newsletter: goqnotes.com/subs

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EVENTS April 2015 The Vagina Monologues Theatre Charlotte 501 Queens Rd., Charlotte 7 p.m.

Chi Psi Omega Fraternity, Inc., hosts “The Vagina Monologues,” returning from last year’s sold out crowd. A portion of proceeds will benefit Neet’s Sweets. Admission is $18/ general, $24/VIP available online. chipsiomega.ticketleap.com/ vaginaencore.

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Community Conversation Series UNC-Charlotte Student Union 9201 University City Blvd., Charlotte 6-8 p.m.

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The first round of community conversations in 2015, featuring remarks from longtime North Carolina civil rights activist Mandy Carter. Free.

Raise Up 15 Shaw University 118 E. South St., Raleigh 5 p.m.

Southerners on New Ground join the Raise Up 15 campaign in favor of raising the minimum wage for workers and families. More information is available online. facebook.com/vents/1573607999576117/. facebook.com/RaiseUpfor15.

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Submit your event to our calendar!

You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a three-for-one entry. All Charlotte-area events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes.com), the LGBT Center (lgbtcharlotte. org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com).

Continues through April 19 SEP APR MO Prides of the Southeast Various locations Charlotte Pride hosts InterPride’s regional Prides of the Southeast Conference, attracting Pride organizers from 12 states across the region. Information and registration are available online. charlottepride.org/pose/.

Continues through April 18 SEP APR MO LGBT* in the South Diana Wortham Theatre 2 S. Pack Square, Asheville The Campaign for Southern Equality hosts their annual LGBT* in the South Conference, featuring Mandy Carter as a keynote speaker. Information and registration are available online. lgbtinthesouth.com.

“It’s Your World” MSM Summit Hayti Heritage Center 804 Old Fayetteville St., Durham

9 a.m.

The Triangle Empowerment Center presents it’s first annual MSM summit which addresses rural healath disparity barriers, as well as perspectives from the African-American and Lation LGBT community. $10 admission includes lunch.

Free scholarships for those who qualify. triempowerment.org.

–––––––––––––––––––– Stonewall Kickball Drag Show Cathode Azure 1820 South Blvd., Suite 106, Charlotte 7 p.m.

Stonewall Kickball teams take to the drag stage. Proceeds benefit Time Out Youth. $5 cover.

The Founders’ Ball Mint Museum Randolph 2730 Randolph Rd., Charlotte 7:45 p.m.

Hearts Beat as One Foundation hosts its inaugural Founders’ Ball, featuring entertainment

by Deborah Cox and co-chaired by City Councilmember LaWana Mayfield, Mike Blackwelder and Tommy Feldman.

Formal attire in a cocktail-style atmosphere benefitting Safe Alliance, Dolly Parton Imagination Library of Mecklenburg County and Autism Charlotte. Early bird tickets are $50 through March 23. Regular admission is $75. VIP early bird is $140. Information and tickets are available online. heartsbeatone.org.

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RAIN/NCAAN Training SEP APR MO Regional AIDS Interfaith network 601 E. Fifth St., Suite 470, Charlotte 2-4 p.m.

Quinton Harper, community organizer at North Carolina AIDS Action Network (NCAAN), joins RAIN for an advocacy training in advance of NCAAN’s Advocacy Day in Raleigh on April 29. The training will provide an overview of Advocacy Day, the HIV/AIDS issues to be discussed during the day and tips on how best to share your own unique HIV story with legislators.

To see more upcoming events, visit goqnotes.com/calendar/

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Walk for AIDS SEP APR MO Sisters of Mercy 101 Mercy Dr., Belmont 9:30 a.m.

House of Mercy presents its 22nd annual Walk for AIDS. Registration begins at 9:30 a.m., with the welcome and walk commencing at 10 a.m. At noon, stay around for a picnic, music and awards. Information and registation are available online. thehouseofmercy.org/2015Walkfor AIDS.asp.

April 25 Bayard Rustin Symposium Guilford College 5800 W. Friendly Ave., Greensboro 9 a.m.-4 p.m.

Guilford College’s Bayard Rustin Center for LGBTQA Activism, Education and Reconciliation hosts its fourth annual symposium. The day-long training will focus on a deeper analysis of how systemic oppression operates toward a better understanding of how to work for transformative change. The event is free and lunch is provided. Information is available online or via email. facebook.com/events/353057471559423/.

Parker T. Hurley, hurleypt@guilford.edu.

–––––––––––––––––––– Big Gay Sing 3 Booth Playhouse 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 8:05 p.m.

It’s the music we danced and sang to over the past 40 years, Big Gay Sing 3: Dancing with Dorothy, the irresistible soundtrack of the history of the LGBTQ movement. Celebrate the music of artists who shaped LGBT culture and culture at large. How can you stop from singing along to Closer to Fine and Tutti Fruitti (how could anyone not know Little Richard was gay?)? Stomp along to Queen’s We Will Rock You. You’ll scream with laughter with Delighted Tobehere’s (the artist formerly known as Roxy C. Moorecox) outrageous antics, and we’ve even got a chill or two in store for you. Tickets: $25-35, Reserved Seating; children under 12, $10. gmccharlotte.org.

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Royals Springfest The Wine Vault 9009-1 JM Keynes Dr., Charlotte 2-5 p.m.

An afternoon with the Charlotte Royals and their Springfest, hosted at The Wine Vault. Unlimited samples of imported and domestic microbrews with live music in the afternoon and food. Tickets are $20 in advance online and $25 at the door. facebook.com/events/417599398402065/.

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Continues through April 26 SEP APR MO GayCharlotte Film Festival Theatre Charlotte 501 Queens Rd., Charlotte Various times The seventh annual GayCharlotte Film Festival comes to town, with “To be Takei” screening on opening night. Tickets are $10 at the door for each movie, $8 online. charlottelgbtfilm.com.

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a&e

dishing with buff faye

by Buff Faye :: qnotes contributor :: info@bufffaye.com

How Amber Rochelle got the glitter bug and discovered her true self

Photo Credit: Peephole Images.

Yes, I’m back! Did you miss me? Don’t answer that question. Well as promised I have another fierce queen to tell you all about. Her name is Amber Rochelle. Don’t be fooled by her calming voice and loving nature if you meet her though. This lady can light the stage on fire with a belly dance and ass shakin’.

Like many a queen, Amber in 1995 first got the glitter bug on Halloween. She was all done up for the High Holiday and went to party with the ladies at Oleen’s Lounge. The legendary queen Kasey King, who worked there back in the day, discovered Amber that night. “Kasey could not get my name right. But she noticed me and asked me to come back and do a talent show.” Before Amber could press on a nail or bat an eyelash, she was competing and actually won her first title as Charlotte’s New Entertainer at Oleen’s. Shortly after, she was also asked to start working at Scorpio, too.

Damn, there must have been something in that vodka at Oleen’s turning out all these queens over the years. Amber recalls: “I thought it was a one time thing. You know I was a stripper at Chaser’s first, then I did drag at Oleen’s and quickly after Rick asked me to be at Scorpio. It all happened so fast.

I look back and it was really all meant to be though.”

Amber identified as “gay boy” growing up.

It was not until she began drag that she began to understand and transition into living her life as a woman. “My father was in the military, you kind of suppress everything. I was late in coming out as gay and then it all went real quick for me. First time I went to a gay club was in Charlotte. I finally saw people like me — that was eye opening.”

She admits that being a trans woman and transitioning even 10 years ago was very different than today. “I needed a map. I always enjoyed make-up, dressing up as a girl when I was little. I just didn’t understand who I was.

When I first saw drag queens, I thought they were women performing on stage. Then I realized that some are women — trans women. I began my own process then,” Amber said.

“Who is to say how you feel inside…I am me,” Amber continued talking about oppression of LGBT people, trans women and being a person of color: “They don’t really talk about the gay thing. It is very taboo. I thought I was the only one in my whole family. It took some slow progression with my mom. Trans issues are further hidden but my family, my mom especially, has been there for me.”

Now I have to admit I ended up interviewing Amber twice for this column. The first time my cell phone did not record. Don’t judge me.

As we sat eating our second dessert at Dish (my gayborhood fave diner), I was compelled by how “real” the second interview

felt, even though she had shared her experiences with me before. Her story resonates with me because I believe it is something forgotten at times by both cisgender and transgender people. Drag is a mode of free gender expression without limits of a binary, a way to live fantasy and explore. Ultimately, it can lead to finding a part of ourselves that is waiting to be found. For some people, it leads to a journey of acceptance — and to find their true self.

Amber’s story means a lot to me for that simple but forgotten reason.

Asking about her future, Amber shows no sign of stopping anytime soon after two decades of performing in the Queen City.

Retirement was not even a bullet point in our interview. Plus this woman does not show any age. Now that pecan pie she devoured may tell a different story. LOL. “What’s up next for me…

I really want to do USA and Continental. I want to do it when I am ready. I am still trying to lose this Christmas weight. I also want to do it when I don’t have to depend on anyone,” Amber said. “At the end of the day, I am an entertainer period. When I can’t walk or dance…well then it is time to stop.”

No tea. No shade. Other things I learned about Amber: Did you know that Amber dated Elaine Davis? Seriously. And I also learned that she was a competitive roller skater from six years old till she was 15. Well, now you know.

What advice does Amber have to tell younger girls: “Learn to paint yourself. At least practice or do something…don’t depend on others to do it all for you. You will never look like yourself if you have others paint you. Be yourself.”

There is no stopping a drag queen like Amber Rochelle who has survived and thrived over the years making the Queen City a place for queens like us. Sunday nights you can find Amber at the Scorpio in the “Sexy Sunday” Legendary Show with Gypsy Starr.

Her final words: “I don’t knock anyone for what they do. Treat people the way you want to be treated. Carry yourself as such.” : : DRAG TIP: “Words, words, words…know your damn words. It drives me crazy when you don’t know your words. That is Drag 101 — you should know every breath, every bump in the song.” Holler!

— Buff Faye calls the Queen City her home and performs to throw glitter at innocent straight boys (and to raise money for charities).

Find her at your favorite bars and hot spots.

Plus don’t forget her weekly Showtune Sundays, monthly Sunday drag brunch and regular Friday night party bus.

Learn more at AllBuff.com.

Follow on Twitter @BuffFaye

SHOUT OUTS: Cierra Nichole is selling Girl Scout Cookies. Be sure to private message her on Facebook if you want a box of Thin Mints or Samoas! Plus 316 has a new Star Search Talent Show the last Thursday of every month. Big talent? Win some cash!

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