QNotes, April 16, 2021

April 16- 29, 2021

qnotes

1

2

qnotes

April 16- 29, 2021

connect goqnotes.com

twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas instagram.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue

L’Monique King, Jack Kirven, Jesse Monteagudo, David Aaron Moore, Julianna Peres, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Gregg Shapiro, Sarah Shariff, Trinity

front page

Graphic Design by Natasha Morehouse Photography: Hector via Adobe Stock Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBTQ and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBTQ life and social justice issues.

Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Managing Editor: Jim Yarbrough, x201, editor@goqnotes.com Copy Editor: Bailey Sides Production: Natasha Morehouse, x205, production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.

Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2021 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher.

Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

charlotteobserver.com/1166/ a local news partner of The Charlotte Observer

inside this issue

feature

Four Proposed N.C. House Bills to Protect the LGBTQ Community

8 Gay, Gray and Dealing With the World of Today

news

6 LGBT Chamber Offers ‘This is Your Shot’ COVID Vaccine Clinic 6 North Carolina’s ‘Youth Health Protection Act’ Targets LGBTQ Youth 6 CBP Names Ali Steele Fund Recipient 7 GLMA Launches Listserv 7 Four Proposed N.C. House Bills to Protect the LGBTQ Community

a&e

12 Out in Print: From Archie to Zack 13 Tell Trinity 14 Screen Savor: She Kissed a Girl

The bills would help shield the community against discrimination and violence. LGBTQ people in North Carolina would gain better access to housing, education and legislative representation.

PAGE 7

Our People: Sandra Hamlin-Rivers

The gifted storyteller enjoys a number of artistic pursuits, with writing being her main passion. Hamlin-Rivers provides insight on her past and future projects, as well as her experience as a Black lesbian in the south.

PAGE 15

life

10 Fitness in the Silver Years 15 Our People: Sandra Hamlin-Rivers

views

4 Coronavirus Journal: The Quest for the COVID Vaccine 5 Perspectives on Arming the Community 11 What is Yours is Mine

events

For event listings, visit goqnotes.com/events-calendar

SUBSCRIBE!

April 16-29, 2021 Vol 35 No 26

These rates only cover a portion of our true cost, however, our goal is to serve our community Mailed 1st class from Charlotte, NC, in sealed envelope.

Subscription Rates:

☐ 1 yr - 26 issues = $48 ☐ 1/2 yr - 13 issues = $34

Mail to: P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222

______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ name:

______________________________________________________ address:

state: zip: ______________________________________________________ city:

☐ mastercard ☐ visa ☐ discover ☐ american express ______________________________________________________ credit card – check one:

card #: exp. date: ______________________________________________________ signature:

April 16- 29, 2021

qnotes

3

views

Coronavirus Journal: The Quest forJesse’s the COVID Vaccine Journal

BY JESSE MONTEAGUDO | GUEST CONTRIBUTOR

T

he last time I wrote my Coronavirus Journal, it was still 2020, an “awful year” that I compared to Barbara W. Tuchman’s calamitous “14th Century.” When I wrote that essay, I realized that I was starting to repeat myself and that I could not continue writing this series without risking repeating myself more often. I vowed that I would continue my journal if I (1) caught COVID-19 (perish the thought) or (2) acquired a COVID vaccine, which at the time was still being developed. Thankfully not having the virus invade my system (that I know of), I hoped to write about my experience taking a vaccine that would save my life. At the time this article was written, two anti-COVID-19 vaccines were approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration: the PfizerBioNTech COVID-19 vaccine (tozinameran) and the Moderna COVID-19 vaccine (mRNA173). A third vaccine, Ad26.COV2.S, is now being developed by Johnson & Johnson.

After the vaccines were developed and approved, the next step was to distribute them to those who wanted them, in other words, practically everybody. Since demand vastly outnumbered supply as far as COVID-19 vaccines were concerned,

4

qnotes

April 16- 29, 2021

government agencies had to decide who was going to get their shots first. Most agreed that healthcare personnel and longterm care facility residents should get the vaccine first, which they did. After that, vaccines were to be given to essential workers, senior citizens and people with underlying conditions, depending on the state where they live. In Florida, Governor Ron DeSantis decided, perhaps for political reasons, that essential workers are not as vulnerable as seniors and that preference be given to Floridians over 65, almost 4.5 million of them. This is where I came in. Like many of my friends, I am over 65 and thus eligible to receive the COVID-19 vaccine as soon as it is available. But when?

As supplies of the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines made their too-slow way into Florida (and other states), seniors who were mostly confined to their homes for almost a year did everything they could to get their liberating shots. They signed up for appointments online or by phone, queued for hours in the hot sun and did everything short of highway robbery to get a vaccine.

Though the powers that be promised that vaccine distribution would be fair, those

seniors with more money and lighter skins were more likely to get their shots than those who were poorer and darker. In Palm Beach County, where Publix Supermarkets were given an exclusive right to disperse the vaccine, seniors on the (mostly white) beachside communities near a Publix were more likely to get their shots than those who lived in the (mostly black and brown) western towns of South Bay, Belle Glade and Pahokee, near Lake Okeechobee.

As for me, I kept trying to get an appointment, by hook or crook, online or by phone. Not known for my patience, I bristled as my friends bragged on Facebook that they got their first or even their second shots. However, as the Trump Administration gave way to the Biden Administration, more and more Pfizer and Moderna vaccines were manufactured and shipped to the various states. It was only a matter of time before I got a phone call from Broward Health, giving me the good news. Could I be at Broward Health North Hospital the next morning? Could I? The next day I was up early, rearranged my schedule and drove across Broward County in quest of the Holy Grail.

Having heard horror stories about feeble seniors being stuck in their heated cars for most of the day, I took a book with me.

Happily, my rendezvous with vaccine destiny was a more pleasant experience. After I parked my car at the hospital, I walked over to the building where the vaccine was being given. I gave the folks at the desk my name and other pertinent pieces of information, sat down with the other seniors and filled out some more papers. Only a few minutes went by before I was summoned to go behind a screen, where a nurse was waiting to give me the first of two Pfizer vaccines. With the vaccine in my system and my right arm bandaged, I was told to sit in the next room and wait 15 minutes in case I suffered a reaction (this is where my book came in). I was then sent home, where I did what everyone else does under similar circumstances: take a selfie and post it on Facebook (excessive modesty is not one of my virtues). Having received my first vaccine and written about it, I look forward to getting my second shot while hoping that my friends who have not yet been vaccinated (including my boyfriend Ron, who is not yet 65) will soon get their shots. A new chapter begins. : :

views

Perspectives on Arming the Community LGBTQ Folk Find Their Place in the Second Amendment

BY L’MONIQUE KING | QNOTES STAFF WRITER

O

n one early Saturday morning in North Carolina, and at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, a group of Black LGBTQ folks got together to take a class and hang out. While most of the world had concerns with how many rolls of toilet paper they’d be able to secure, this group of friends had a different concern that spoke directly to the second amendment.

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed.

Loosely stated, it’s the amendment that gives citizens the right to “bear arms.”

Keeping in mind that the constitution of the United States was not originally written with the equality, protection or success of Black folks in mind, let alone Black LGBTQ folks, a challenge loomed to find a firearms training facility that would empathetically and conscientiously provide training to a group of mature individuals — about 10 — ranging in age from their mid-thirties to sixty-something.

With that in mind, the event organizer set out to find a training facility and instructor that would be able to deliver a class that would take the group’s versatility in mind. Fortunately, he found what everyone was hoping for with Black Diamond Firearms & Training. Their website explains the company’s mission of being “Dedicated to Training and Educating Non-Traditional Consumers in Regard to Their Home and Personal Safety Concerns” and offers a host of services. Consumers can acquire multiple certifications, concealed carry permit training and selfdefense classes.

The company’s instructor taught the class with special attention placed upon Black LGBTQ community safety, and all the required rules and regulations for gun ownership and safety were extensively covered. Added attention was given to handling interactions with law enforcement, how to handle overt scrutiny, racial and/or sexual orientation bias, securing an attorney in the event of having to utilize licensed weapons and the importance of transgender weapons owners making sure identifications match appropriately.

In case you’re wondering why all of this might be such a big deal, scour any social media platform and peruse recent (and not so recent) news events reporting the loss of Black lives at the hands of law enforcement, countless murders of Black trans women and a previous presidential administration that seemed to fan the flames of hate, fear and racial injustice.

Now think about what it might feel like to be an aging Black LGBTQ person living alone or with just your partner in such a climate. With such factors at play, it’s no wonder individuals like these in this group of 10 would seek to arm themselves.

Some in the LGBTQ community support the Second Amendment and gun control measures. (Photo Credit: L’Monique King) Cassandra, one of the group participants and a trans woman in her late 50s, took the class to renew her concealed carry permit license.

She shared her feelings about gun control and citizen’s rights: “I feel like gun control is important in terms of machine guns like MK44s and automatic rifles.

Those are important for the army to have, but, as a private citizen, I don’t think we need to have those types of assault weapons.”

“I do believe citizens should be able to carry personal protection weapons like a Glock 19, a semi-automatic and revolvers,” she continued, “When you find yourself in a situation of being an assault victim like I have been,

sometimes hand to hand combat — like I’m also trained in — is not enough.”

With mass shootings and neighborhood murders frequently in the news, community organizations and Political Action Committees (PACs) like Pride Fund to End Gun Violence (PFEGV) have advocated for and seek stricter gun legislation.

The proposed legislation is generally aimed at access to assault weapons — with the idea of quelling mass shootings. However, what actually constitutes an assault weapon is as hotly debated as the second amendment itself.

According to CNBC News, the gun industry’s traditional definition of an “assault rifle” is a weapon the military generally uses and has “select fire capabilities,” or the capability to switch between semi-automatic and a fully automatic mode.

The civilian AR-15s, which are routinely mentioned in these debates, do not have select fire capabilities, only semi-automatic settings. It’s because of these details that the firearms industry insists they are not actual assault rifles and should not be considered assault weapons.

PFEGV was seemingly organized as a response to the mass shooting at Florida’s Pulse night club in 2016.

Over 50 people were injured and nearly just as many died of gunfire.

The PFEGV website describes themselves as America’s only LGBTQ organization solely focused on gun policy reform to ensure safety for all, with a platform of expanding background checks to cover all gun sales. They work to prohibit suspected terrorists from purchasing guns, restrict access to assault weapons and large capacity magazines.

Supporting federally funded research on gun violence and preventing individuals convicted of committing hate crimes from purchasing guns is also at the top of their agenda.

Not stated is how they feel about the LGBT community arming themselves within those constraints.

The 10 people who took the Saturday morning class at Black Diamond Firearms, however, know exactly where they stand.

They seek to be able to arm themselves within the confines of the law and needed the education, knowledge and skills to be able to do so effectively. With classroom education and a visit to a gun range completed, they’ve met their goal and vow to practice regularly and safely while staying abreast of gun laws regulating licensed weapons carrying and usage.

Through their efforts and others who choose to do so, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed. : :

April 16- 29, 2021

qnotes

5

news LGBT Chamber Offers ‘This is Your Shot!’

COVID Vaccine Clinic

The Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce (CLGBTCC) will host a drive-thru COVID-19 vaccination clinic on April 22 from 9:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m., onsite at the Chamber’s office located in the Hearts Beat as One Foundation at 3520 DeWitt Lane. Working in conjunction with the chamber, the Mecklenburg County Health Department will provide the vaccinations.

On hand at the clinic will be Novant Health employees, who will ensure individuals seeking a vaccine are hydrated, healthy and react well to the dosage.

Participants must be over the age of 18. The CLGBTCC confirms the drive-through is open to all, with a primary focus on the LGBTQ community.

“In partnership with our strong network of strategic partners, we have established a track record of supporting our community in meaningful ways,” says Chamber chair, Ciara Lilly.

“This is just one more example of how we work diligently to connect our community to valuable resources that will help during this challenging time.”

“The vaccination clinic is an extension of our efforts to assist those within our community who are vulnerable during this pandemic,” explains Chamber CEO Chad Turner. “We are excited to partner with the Mecklenburg County Health Department and thank Novant Health Drive-thru vaccines will be available April 22. and Hearts Beat as One Foundation for their efforts to make this a great success.”

(Photo Credit: Ivan Diaz via Unsplash) Per their announcement, the CLGBTCC’s current goal is 300 vaccinations throughout the operation. Should the need exceed that number, the chamber will work closely with Mecklenburg County Health authorities to provide more vaccinations so that everyone who wants the treatment can have one.

Says CLGBTCC member and Mecklenburg County Commissioner-At-Large Pat Cotham: “The county has a critical goal of vaccination equity. The result is we are not waiting for residents to come to us, we are going to them. The data shows we are making progress, so we are on the right track.”

Registrations for the vaccination clinic are required; go to bit.ly/3uxD65O to sign up. info: clgbtcc.org — Julianna Peres

North Carolina’s ‘Youth Health Protection Act’ Targets LGBTQ Youth

Filed on Monday, April 5, the Youth Health Protection Act (Senate Bill 514) could out numerous LGBTQ individuals and deny many more access to gender-affirming care. This bill would require every physician, mental health professional and North Carolina state agent involved in the treatment of any trans individual under the age of 21 to report such action to parents, guardians or custodians.

The bill requires all persons under 21 to be treated as minors. Healthcare professionals will be heavily fined if they provide “unauthorized” treatment to anyone included in the 18-21 age range, even though the state recognizes individuals over 18 as an adult.

Written by Sen. Ralph Hise and supported primarily by fellow Republican representatives, the bill states the following: A medical professional who engages in any of the practices… shall be considered to have engaged in unprofessional conduct and shall be subject to revocation of licensure and other appropriate discipline by the medical professional’s licensing or certifying board. The medical professional shall also be subject to a civil penalty of up to $1,000 per occurrence.

“A person’s gender identity shouldn’t limit their ability to access health care or be treated with dignity and respect,” Rev. Jasmine BeachFerrara, who is running for North Carolina’s 11th District Seat, said in a story carried by NBC news.

Not only would law enforcement and other legislative professionals be required to alert LGBTQ youth’s parents about their transgender or non-binary identities, but state schools would have to do the same as well. This would include school counselors, coaches and teachers.

Under the purview of SB 514, coming out in any manner under the umbrella term gender-expansive would be public knowledge. As such, it could be a negatively impacting experience for all under 21, but especially young adults between the ages of 18 and 21 who could potentially be denied gender-confirming medical care based solely on the response of a parent, custodian or guardian. info: bit.ly/3d3jtwJ — Julianna Peres

CBP Names Ali Steele Fund Recipient

Charlotte Black Pride (CBP) has announced the recipient of their annual $250 reinvestment fund: Ali Steele. This endowment is designed to provide aid to business owners who are members of the Black LGBTQ community. Applications posted a short video describing their vision for the future of their organizations, tagging CBP on either Facebook or Instagram. The group/individual with the most likes was selected for the reinvestment fund .

Steele is a singer, songwriter and entrepreneur, juggling a music career along with spearheading two organizations: EthnicByAli and Issa Vibe Adventures. “I created EthnicByAli in 2015 when I got laid off my job, but it’s a total reflection of my culture through signs, symbols, ethnic attire and wholistic remedies,” Steele said.

Steele went on to say that Issa Vibe Adventures was founded after seeing a need for the community to reconnect to nature.

When asked what the CBP grant would provide for these enterprises, Steele replied, “the grant will be used to continue to provide a platform for my community to network, learn, create and reconnect to nature through events like the Healers Market and Issa Vibe hikes. I will also use it to continue to make music that encourages love and hope.”

The local musician and entrepreneur received Issa Vibe Adventures has had its fair share of obstacles since its inception, primarily a re-investment fund grant. that of properly training potential tour guides. Steele mentioned that the American Canoe Association (ACA) kayaking certification is extremely important to the group. Accordingly, the certification will allow Issa Vibe instructors to teach paddling and rowing techniques.

For those who want to get involved, events are constantly being posted on EthnicByAli’s account at bit.ly/3sRR8yz. To learn about upcoming hiking opportunities, yoga and a chance to feed the homeless, follow the Issa Vibe Adventures Instagram at bit.ly/3dvK6Jz. Steele’s music album, “I Can Only Be Me,” is available on all music platforms at amzn.to/3ulmbmL. info: bit.ly/3rN1oXO — Julianna Peres

6

qnotes

April 16- 29, 2021

Briefs NORTH CAROLINA PRIDE IN THE TRIANGLE’S WORKPLACE EQUITY TRAINING On April 29, the organization will offer group discussions and consultant-led conversation from 3:30 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. Taking place online, this event will focus on Pride in the Triangle’s LGBTQ+ Workplace Equity Toolkit. Training will be moderated by Kathrine Turner from Global Citizen, LLC, and Stan Kimer from Total Engagement Consulting

by Kimer and RTI International, Inc. Tickets and the downloadable toolkit are completely free.

info: bit.ly/3fWcpUq

UPCOMING NATIONAL DIVERSITY COUNCIL ERG ACADEMY From 11:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. on May 4, this interactive workshop is targeted toward those in leadership or HR roles within employee resource groups (ERGs).

The purpose of this training session is growth and knowledge exchange between ERG executive sponsors, Human Resource Representatives in ERGs and any other professional who is interested in action planning in relation to intersectionality. Ticket prices differ depending on partner/non-partner position as well as for-profit/non-profit status

info: bit.ly/2PEvGz1

30TH BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION FOR TIME OUT YOUTH CENTER Time Out Youth (TOY) is hosting a celebration for the 30 years of hard work that have been poured into the organization since its 1991 inception. The party will take place at the TOY center on April 17 from 12:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. LGBTQ individuals between the ages of 11 and 20 are encouraged to sign up and partake in the socially-distant festivities.

info: bit.ly/3d3XtSl

NATIONAL TRANSGENDER HEALTH MADE A PRIORITY IN MISSOURI Planned Parenthood launched a program on March 24 that will expand upon transgender healthcare as well as LGBTQ inclusive sex education.

Dubbed “TRANSforming Community TRANSforming Care,” this project will focus on those from lower-income communities who are unable to afford adequate and gender affirming medical attention. The conception of this program was by transgender and nonbinary persons for those who are similarly gender-expansive, including intersex and genderfluid individuals.

info: bit.ly/31Z7Kcc

CATHOLIC PETITION CIRCULATED IN FAVOR OF LGBTQ COUPLES New Ways Ministry created a petition titled “We Will Bless Same-Gender Couples” as a direct response to the Vatican’s March 15 announcement.

Over 3,000 people have put their names on this pledge, including dozens of Catholic theologians and church-goers.

Signatures have been made by those around the world, and more continue to pour in every day. The ultimate goal of this petition is to garner the Vatican’s attention as well as to provide proof to LGBTQ persons that they have allies within the Catholic church.

info: bit.ly/2QbEpZ3 — Compiled by Julianna Peres

GLMA Launches Listserv

Bisexual Health Awareness Month has been promoted by organizations such as Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD), the Bisexual Resource Center and the Human Rights Campaign (HRC). GLMA (formerly Gay and Lesbian Medical Associates, now Health Professionals Advancing LGBTQ Equality but retaining their former acronym), rounded off the month of March by announcing the GLMA Bi+ Health Professional Network listserv.

This electronic mailing list will serve to strengthen connections between the LGBTQ community and current or aspiring healthcare professionals.

Potential participants of the listserv may be students or trainees, as well as researchers within the mental health or medical field who identify as bisexual. GLMA has clarified that these professionals may also be pansexual, panromantic, queer, fluid or sexualities that are similar to bisexual in terms of GLMA has created a bi+ health professional network. multigender attraction. For this (Photo Credit: Monkey Business via Adobe Stock) reason, the listserv signup sheet emphasizes that applicants must be supportive of the LGBTQ community and experienced in treatment of patients who do not identify as cisgender-heterosexual.

The idea for this listserv came about during the 38th GLMA Annual Conference Bisexual Health Professional Networking Session. GLMA has released a statement confirming there will be future opportunities for transgender healthcare professionals as well as other LGBTQ identified persons. Interdisciplinary conversation by those of all races and all sexualities can be seen in the mission statement of GLMA as well as their Bi+ Health Professional Network announcement.

The upcoming GLMA Annual Conference is titled “Closing the Gaps” and will take place Sept. 22-25. The focus will be on ways to improve healthcare for BIPOC (Black Indigenous People Of Color) LGBTQ persons; especially transgender, two-spirit and all other gender diverse individuals. For queries regarding the conference, direct emails to annualconference@glma.org. info: bit.ly/3wtIQ2n — Julianna Peres

Four Proposed N.C. House Bills to Protect the LGBTQ Community

House Bill 450, titled “Equality for All,” was filed in North Carolina by District 29 Representative Vernetta Alston on March 30. This bill is just one of multiple bills proposed in 2021 that would provide protection for the LGBTQ community.

House Bill 449, titled “Prohibit Defense Based on Sex or Gender,” is one such bill that will serve to prohibit individuals from claiming the “panic defense” in court.

Should this bill pass, perpetrators of violence against members of the LGBTQ community cannot plead that they committed these harmful actions due to someone’s gender or sexual orientation. House Bill 392, titled “Mental Health Protection,” has also been filed and, if passed, would prohibit gay conversion therapy in North Carolina .

House Bill 451, dubbed “Full Repeal of HB 2” will make it so that individual counties can set their own standards regarding sexual orientation and gender identity (bit.ly/3u7ifWO). HB 2 was, and continues to be, one of the most controversial bills passed in North Carolina within the last five years. A facet of HB 2 was that transgender or other gender expansive persons would be unable to use restrooms that correspond with their gender identities if they were not legally recognized as said gender.

Essentially, the LGBTQ community will remain legally unprotected from discrimination if HB 2 is not repealed.

The reversal of HB 2 and potential passage of HB 450/ Equality For All means that LGBTQ people in North Carolina would be afforded more freedom and given less legal obstaThe bills would help combat discrimination against cles than ever before and would LGBTQ people. (Photo Credit: yavdat via Adobe Stock) solidify housing, education and legislative participation.

“Too many LGBTQ people — especially those who are BIPOC (Black Indigenous People Of Color) or transgender — experience discrimination and violence in North Carolina law,” Alston explains, “Right now [that] leaves them vulnerable.

We need to pass strong legislation that gives people the best opportunity to thrive” (bit.ly/3ugxOLW). info: bit.ly/3fzcZXT. — Julianna Peres

April 16- 29, 2021

qnotes

7

life

Gay, Gray and Dealing With the World of Today From Socially Distanced Walks and Virtual Outreach to Welcoming Residential Centers, Solutions to Improve Quality of Life for LGBTQ Seniors

BY DAVID AARON MOORE AND JULIANNA PERES | QNOTES STAFF WRITERS

A

ccording to a Gallup Poll previously published in qnotes, Charlotte Metro had an LGBTQ population of approximately 90,000 during the last decade.

Considering the rate of growth since that time, it is likely that tally has increased to somewhere around 104,000. Applying the same informational chart used for the community as a whole, the current over65 LGBTQ population in the Queen City probably numbers around 12,000.

It’s true — seniors in general face a variety of challenges. While there are issues shared across the entire spectrum of the 65+ community, there are some that are unique to LGBTQ seniors.

A report carried by PR Newswire confirms key barriers to accessing the individualized care LGBTQ seniors need range from prohibitive costs to poorly designed or discriminatory services. Additionally, many participants experience poor quality care, discrimination from service providers, homophobia, transphobia, racism and a lack of specialist HIV care.

Among the most-requested services to meet LGBTQ seniors’ special needs: wellness programs, adult education, in-home support, recreation and transportation.

A recent study by the Department of Aging and Adult Services (DAAS) indicates LGBTQ seniors are four times less likely to access aging services. Reasons include: • One in five feel unsafe and/or unwelcome • Nearly half have mobility limitations • One in four report difficulty accessing transportation • One in six report lower quality social activities.

Over the past year LGBTQ seniors have additionally felt some of life’s less-pleasant experiences amplified because of the COVID-19 pandemic.

“The isolation, definitely,” says Susan Owens, a 67-year old single lesbian who lives in the Charlotte Metro area. “I moved to the region about 10 years ago for work,” she recalls, “I liked it here so I decided to call it my retirement home, but I really don’t know that many people and I don’t have a huge support network. With everyone in pandemic shutdown mode, things have become exceptionally quiet.”

Owens also confirms that getting around for things like shopping and doctor’s visits has also become more of a challenge.

State reports indicate the over-65 population of North Carolina make up only 20 percent of recorded COVID-19 cases statewide. However, older folks also make up 80 percent of deaths relating to COVID-19.

While seniors are more likely to social distance and quarantine, resulting in prolonged isolation, they possess the highest risk of fatal interaction with the virus because of lowered immune systems. The reports back up some of Owens’ assertions: Isolation and subsequent loneliness are some of the most harmful aspects of COVID-19 for those that have not been infected or for the infected that survive, and they can lead to depression.

8

qnotes

April 16- 29, 2021

strives to create social networks and make a positive impact with all pursuits.

WISE Project bit.ly/2QgSZih Chapel Hill-based but aimed at the entire state, the WISE Project aims to connect the LGBTQ community across cultural, racial and generational backgrounds. They offer community receptions, peer support and friendship outreach.

Guilford Green Center guilfordgreenfoundation.org Since the Center’s reopening in March of this year, there have been less in-person Gay and Gray events. However, organizers have been able to implement a new activity called “Walk and Talk.” This event, which takes place on a recurring basis, allow participants to social distance while being out in nature and spending face-toface time with friends and acquaintances.

While it is important for seniors to social distance during COVID-19, the prolonged isolation can lead to depression. (Photo Credit: De Visu via Adobe Stock) Multiple groups have taken necessary precautions during this time and have barred in-person contact, but now that vaccines are more widely available, some organizations are beginning to re-imagine user-friendliness and outreach coordination in an effort to provide solutions to some of the challenges the LGBTQ population has faced and will continue to deal with.

An example of this is SAGE. SAGE is a national organization that focuses on the aging LGBTQ community, within which exists SAGECare. This portion of SAGE is responsible for training staff and clients in assisted living communities, long term care facilities and any other persons that may be involved in elder care.

Tim R. Johnston, Senior Director of National Projects at SAGECare, is responsible for overseeing the treatment of individuals who live outside areas with sizable LGBTQ communities.

Of the isolation that these elders are dealing with, Johnston says, “Those who are uncomfortable with the LGBT community, especially with transgender people, are often thinking about our community in the abstract. But when they meet a transgender or gender non-conforming person, they realize that they are just human beings. Of course, each interaction, whether it be political, social or personal, requires a different approach.”

While Charlotte remains without a chapter of SAGE, there is the SAGE Central chapter in Raleigh (lgbtcenterofraleigh. com) and the Cape Fear Coast chapter in Wilmington (frankharrfoundation.org).

Residents across the state and nationwide are encouraged to take advantage of national programs, like SAGEConnect, even if there is no SAGE chapter in your area. This program allows for elders to speak with volunteers over the phone about whatever they enjoy. It’s available to any senior LGBT people across the country who would like to participate. For more information, go to sageusa.org/sageconnect.

In addition to SAGE, there are other various types of organizations and groups offering solutions for seniors to take advantage of, such as: Charlotte Primetimers bit.ly/3wI3R9H This organization is a nonpolitical group aimed at the older gay and bi male population of the Charlotte metro area, although members of all ages from 21 and up are encouraged to join to take part in social and educational activities. At this time events are being held virtually, however, plans are in the works to host an event with a speaker during April; and later in the month, April 24, an area walk will take place followed by dinner at a predetermined restaurant.

LGBTQ Elders charlottelgbtqelders.org This Charlotte based organization focuses on the 55-and-up set and invites everyone to participate in improving quality of life, equity and affirmation for all members of the LGBTQ community. Through education, advocacy and the creation of inclusive engagement opportunities, Elders

And in case you’re looking for an LGBTQ-friendly community, there is one such facility in Charlotte. Aldersgate has a stellar track record in reaching out to the LGBTQ community.

Located on the grounds of what was once known as The Methodist Home, Aldersgate is an all-inclusive, multi-cultural welcoming facility with employees who are given sensitivity training aimed specifically at directly benefiting the LGBTQ community.

“We want everyone who is interested in making their home here to feel welcome,” Brooks Shelley, director of marketing and engagement at Aldersgate, told qnotes in a previously published interview.

“Gay, lesbian, straight, trans, Christian, Muslim. Everyone is welcome here.”

Located at Shamrock Drive and Eastway Drive in East Charlotte, it’s practically a small town within a larger city, boasting individual houses, apartments, dining facilities, movie theaters, coffee shops and more.

“You can choose to come here at any point on the continuum,” he offers.

“We have residents who are perfectly healthy individuals, some actually still choosing to work, who live in the various cottage, ranch style and apartment homes we have.”

“We also have assisted living facilities, skilled nursing care and memory care.”

You can learn more about the community at aldersgateccrc.com. : : qnotes is part of six major media companies and other local institutions reporting on and engaging the community around the problems and solutions as they relate to the COVID-19 pandemic. It is a project of the Charlotte Journalism Collaborative, which is supported by the Local Media Project, an initiative launched by the Solutions Journalism Network with support from the Knight Foundation to strengthen and reinvigorate local media ecosystems. See all of our reporting at charlottejournalism.org.

April 16- 29, 2021

qnotes

9

life

Fitness in the Silver Years

Health & Wellness: Practices to Maintain Health as We Age

BY JACK KIRVEN | QNOTES CONTRIBUTOR

A

s we move through life, our DNA begins to literally unravel at the ends.

This is what leads to the symptoms and indications of what we call aging. Our nutritional patterns can dramatically accelerate or slow this process, as can reducing other sources of excess inflammation.

Inflammation comes from any kind of stress, and it causes oxidation. Emotional duress, dangerous foods, excess alcohol, smoking, lethargy, exposure to chemical agents and the elements (sunburn, frost bite, windburns, etc.). All these and more cause aging because they are sources of stress and inflammation.

You may have heard of the antioxidants you can get from food and other sources.

They blunt the effects of oxidants, which are the free radicals that bombard your system at the microscopic level. This is what oxidation is. It’s rather like the way a microwave heats food: It uses tiny particles to pummel the food. The friction of the impacts is what generates the heat that cooks the food. But, this is also why microwaved food tends to look wilted or collapsed.

It’s also why microwaved food tends to lack nutrition compared to conventionally cooked meals. Similarly, free radicals are literally perforating your cells and DNA. It’s like we live inside a shooting gallery and we’re being riddled with bullets.

10

qnotes

April 16- 29, 2021

To offset some of the damage that simply being alive will eventually cause, it is important to understand the ways we can make adjustments to unhealthy habits. The three most easily adapted patterns are nutrition and hydration, physical activity and rest. Here are some suggestions for each.

fresh water (infused with flavor by soaking fruits, vegetables and/or herbs and spices for variety) is an important practice. Caffeine in reasonable amounts helps with mental clarity, metabolism, and mood; however, it is also a diuretic.

With that in mind, keep your intake of teas and coffees to a minimum to avoid dehydration.

Remove all sodas from your diet as quickly as possible: They have the additional risk of deIt should be pleting your bones taken for granted (cola’s acidity might that food and Strive to practice healthy habits throughout leach minerals from drink can either be your life. (Photo Credit: Anna Shvets via Pexels) your skeleton in medicine or poison. your body’s attempt Water is necessary to maintain the pH balance in your blood). for all biological processes, so staying hyConstruct your meals around fresh drated makes everything run efficiently and vegetables and fruits. Think in terms of gives your body a chance to flush out toxins. filling most of the space on your plate It’s easy to quickly swallow lots of excess with them, then filling in the sides (litercalories and other additives, so sticking to

Nutrition and Hydration

ally side dishes) with fist-sized portions of complete proteins and unrefined starches.

Your meals should be resplendent with color. The colors of natural foods are the sources of those antioxidants that grab onto free radicals and reduce them battering you to death.

Physical Activity

It cannot be stressed enough that remaining physically active is critical to wellness. As we age, we produce lower levels of many hormones. Hormones speak the language of the body, and they communicate between and regulate all our bodily functions. This includes producing and maintaining muscles, bones and connective tissues. Proper nutrition is fundamental to all this, but so is exercise.

Maintaining muscle mass allows us to move safely and independently. It also supports a healthy metabolism, alert mind and stable mood. On top of that, doing impact and/or resistance exercise stimulates the formation of new muscle and bone cells. If we do not make demands of our bodies, they will break down from atrophy. Literally use it or lose it. continued on page 14

views

What is Yours is Mine Legal Eagles

BY SARA SHARIFF, ATTORNEY | GUEST WRITER

W

hen you decide to marry someone, you usually give a lot of thought about your future. You plan for major life decisions, like whether to have children and the kind of lifestyle you want. You probably also think about how you will support one another through thick and thin. Each couple is different, and so their considerations about future planning will also look different.

One important way in which couples plan for the future is by preparing an estate plan. Whether married couples have kids or not, there is a great deal of planning that goes into deciding how you will support your spouse if anything should happen to you or vice versa.

You are probably wondering why this would involve planning. “If we’re married, doesn’t it guarantee that my spouse will be supported if anything happens to me?” It is not always that simple.

If you don’t have a will, your spouse will be the first priority for inheritance, according to North Carolina state law.

But your spouse will not inherit everything from you if you have any surviving children, grandchildren or parents.

If you have children, your spouse will only receive half or one-third of your estate, and your child or children will receive the rest. This might be what you want, or it might not.

Having a will prepared can ensure that your spouse receives exactly what you want as well as any other relatives or beneficiaries. With the diverse family structures for many LGBTQ families, it can be a relief to know your loved ones are provided for in the long term instead of leaving it up to chance that they could be excluded by the state. The state decides who your beneficiaries will be if you don’t have a will.

Preparing a will is just the first step. You probably have what’s called “non-probate assets,” such as life insurance

policies, an IRA, retirement accounts, pay-on-death or transfer-on-death accounts or other assets with rights of survivorship.

Each of these assets typically has a form to designate the beneficiary upon your death. You must complete the form for each asset individually. It’s not enough to write “I want my IRA to go to spouse” in your will. Non-probate assets aren’t legally part of your will.

People often forget to update or review the beneficiary information for things like a retirement account.

Sometimes they completely forget to update the information after getting married and a former partner or relative stays listed as the beneficiary.

Just imagine if you pass away and your ex gets these benefits because you forgot to update the forms with a new beneficiary. That can happen even if you update your will.

Now let’s turn to real estate. I often have clients who have no idea how their property is titled when I ask about the deed for their “joint” properties. They’ve forgotten what the property documents stated when they first purchased their home.

While the couple might consider it a joint property because they both live in and use it, the property might be under just one partner’s name. It could have been purchased together before the couple was married. Or might be a true joint marital property under what’s called “tenancy by the entirety.” That’s a fancy legal way of saying the property will pass to the surviving spouse and avoid probate.

If you bought the property together before you were married, you must do a new property transfer so you can own it jointly as a tenancy by the entirety.

Just because everyone should be allowed to get married does not mean everyone is made to stay married forever. Break-ups happen and couples separate. When going through a divorce, couples will discuss ad nauseam how they will divide everything they own. Before the divorce is final, revisit your estate plan to make sure your ex does not eventually receive all the assets that you’ve worked hard to keep in the divorce settlement.

Couples who are separated but not formally divorced face an additional hurdle. In this situation, surviving spouses can seek an “elective share” of the estate even if they are cut out of the will. In North Carolina, if you and your spouse were married for a certain number of years, the spouse can claim this elective share of up to half of your estate even if they are explicitly cut out of your will.

How do you avoid this from happening? Make sure your attorney knows whether you were formally divorced or not so they can prepare your documents strategically. Options include a waiver by your spouse, creating a marital trust to satisfy the elective share or stating that the spouse is barred from claiming any share because of abandonment.

If all this sounds intimidating, break it into smaller tasks. Schedule an appointment with an attorney to create a will. Go through one account each day, like your IRA, and check the beneficiary information. Taking the time to make sure your estate is in order is a gift to your spouse and the people you love. : : Sara Shariff is an attorney with Hull & Chandler in Charlotte who practices business law and estate planning law. Her fields of expertise include business formation, contracts, corporate transitions and mergers and acquisitions.

April 16- 29, 2021

qnotes

11

a&e

‘From Archie to Zack’ Out in Print

BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER | CONTRIBUTING WRITER “From Archie to Zack”

by Vincent X. Kirsch ©2020, Abrams Books for Young Readers $17.99 40 pages

T

he girl who sits right behind you at school is really nice.

She shares her things if you ask nicely, and she likes to make you laugh. She seems very smart and polite, and she never says mean things to anyone, even if they deserve it. All the kids in your class like her; you like her, but in the new book “From Archie to Zack” by Vincent X. Kirsch, there might be someone you like just a little more.

There was no doubt in anyone’s mind.

Everybody knew it: Archie loved Zack and Zack loved Archie. The two boys were happiest when they did everything together, but the funny thing was, neither of them could say, “I love you.”

Oh, but you can bet they both really wanted to say it. Very much so. And then one day, Archie wrote Zack a note that said, “From A. to Z. it’s true. I love you.”

Archie read the note to himself and it really made him smile.

But that note wasn’t quite right, so he hid it in a tree and Zack was still his best friend.

He wrote another note, kind of the same. He read it to himself, but it just wasn’t quite right. He hid the second note in his band case and he and Zack were still best friends.

Just before Halloween, Archie wrote another note with just a little more oomph and he read it to himself many times.

What he wrote finally seemed right this time. He loved Zack! But for some reason, he couldn’t give the note to Zack, so Archie hid it in his desk at school.

Then one day, Zuzella found a note in a desk. Zinnia found one in band class.

Zelda found one in a tree trunk, and all

Author and illustrator Vincent X. Kirsch.

12

qnotes

April 16- 29, 2021

three girls knew who wrote them. They delivered the notes to Zack, and that made him smile because he’d been working on a note that wasn’t quite right.

One that said the truth that everybody already knew.

Nothing unusual.

That’s not normally what you want to hear about a new book; you probably want to hear enthusiastic things like WOW! but that’s not what you’ll find here.

“From Archie to Zack” tells young readers a sweet story in a calm, even, nothingunusual manner.

The lack of drama is where the unusual comes to play.

Author-illustrator Vincent X. Kirsch lets kids know that Archie and Zack can love one another, and it’s okay. The children in their class don’t make fun of anyone. They barely even comment; in fact, they seem to think it’s wonderful, a lesson that pulses like a heart here. Even the action-rich illustrations tell a story here, a story about kids that also serves as a surprisingly grown-up conversation-sparker about love, whether it’s between friends, classmates, neighbors or a child’s two favorite uncles.

Perfect for anytime reading, kids ages 4-to-8 will love this book best. For them and for you, “From Archie to Zack” is a book to get behind. : :

a&e

The Fork, the Knife and the Napkin, Oh My! Tell Trinity

BY TRINITY | CONTRIBUTING WRITER Dear Trinity, My partner says I eat like an animal and won’t dine out with me anymore until I learn how to “act like a socialized person.” What’s the big deal?

Sincerely, Dining Dutch, Annapolis, MD

Dear Dining Dutch, Whether you’re on a date, a business luncheon or dining out with anyone with table manners it’s important to know how to properly use a fork, knife and napkin. It often means the difference of keeping a job, a group of friends and even a partner. Dining out is an art just like dressing, being witty or using good social skills.

Remember, pumpkin, it’s about social graces as an adult, not about being stuck on how you did things when you were a nine-year-old!

Kisses, Trinity

Dearest Trinity, I try and try and still I can’t seem to have the right pick-up moves. I’m goodlooking, smart and funny, but I keep getting rejected. Why do I keep getting rejected?

Thanks, Getting Rejected, Omaha, NE

Q-mmunity

connections

Dearest Getting Rejected, When making a move, you must remember that single people have very specific agendas and are often blind to anyone not on their agenda. In other words, sometimes arrogant single snobs just can’t see you. It’s not that you’re being rejected, but rather you’re being overlooked by their selfish needs, which feels like rejection. People can look right through you when you’re not their type. That’s life. So sweetie, take risks, practice trial and error and be yourself, so, when the right one comes along, you will be easily recognized.

Yours, Trinity

Hey Trinity, I met someone in my travels who is coming to visit me for the first time. But I’m not sure how to deal with a visiting date. Help!

Yours, Visiting Date, Honolulu, HI

Hey Visiting Date, With a visiting date it’s natural to want to spend a lot of time together, but you must schedule time apart to do your own things and to get your daily chores met in between doing things together. Darling, this will keep you excited about getting

together rather than excited about killing each other.

Good luck, Trinity Hello Trinity, What’s so important about keeping in touch with family? Aren’t good friends enough?

Sincerely, Family or Friends, Washington DC

Hello Family or Friends, It’s great to have supportive friends who come and go in your life, but honey, family has ties to your life, your genealogy and your medical history. If you don’t believe me, then read:

Trinity’s Risks, I Mean… Reasons for Keeping in Touch With Family

1. W hen holidays come around you don’t have to cook because someone else is there to make you eat their food, I mean… make food for you.

2. I f you have emotional, financial or an automotive problem, there’s always someone to hang up the phone, I mean… help you so you’re not alone.

3. B eing around people whom you don’t always have to explain yourself to can be oh so neurotic, I mean… nice.

4. W hen you’re old, frail or sick and in need, your family is there to take everything from you, I mean… take care of everything for you.

5. F riends come and go, but family is always there like a thorn in your side, I mean… always by your side.

6. Friends don’t suck the blood out of you like family, I mean…. blood is thicker than friendship.

7. It’s nice to be in a longing and selfish, I mean... loving and supportive environment.

8. T here’s no one in the world that will torture you, I mean… teach you about life better than a caring family.

9. W ithout family there would be no one to push you off a cliff, I mean… give you a truly loving lift.

10. L astly, who else would put up with your crap, your drunken stupors or your barking dog like friends, I mean… family. : : With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries. org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com.

Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

space starting at $22: call qnotes for details 704.531.9988

April 16- 29, 2021

qnotes

13

a&e

Screen Savor: She Kissed a Girl A Review of Jill Sobule’s ‘F*ck7thGrade’

BY GREGG SHAPIRO | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

B

orrowing a page from the handbook of John Cameron Mitchell and Stephen Trask’s “Hedwig and the Angry Inch,” Jill Sobule’s fabulous and fierce “F*ck7thGrade” (City Theatre Company), is a musical presented as rock concert. The show, with a book

by Liza Birkenmeier, is a tuneful quilt constructed of songs from eight of Sobule’s studio albums, from her 1990 major label debut “Things Here Are Different” through 2019’s independently released “Nostalgia Kills.”

During the fall of 2020, due to the inability to produce indoor performances during the pandemic, Pittsburgh’s City Theatre constructed a drive-in stage at Hazelwood Green. It was there that “F*ck7thGrade” was filmed before a live audience, safely socially distanced and seated in their cars.

After making her entrance on a vintage bicycle, Jill, in unfastened white overalls and a “Music Is My Only Friend” t-shirt, takes the stage and tears into a song about wanting and getting a blue Raleigh Chopper bike when she was in 6th grade, in the early 1970s. She also wanted to be a spy and a rock star at that age, and everything seemed to be working out for her.

She embraced being a “weirdo.”

But everything changed when she entered seventh grade. At that time, it wasn’t cool to be a girl guitar player who

Fitness in the Silver Years continued from page 10

Exercises that are low impact, but which still create the stimulation needed to maintain strength and mobility, are those that require us to exert ourselves (generally while supporting our own weight and posture) without exposing us to injury.

Strength, balance, coordination and conditioning activities are all essential. This is because movement sends little reverberations through our skeletons, which jiggle our bone cells. This shaking stimulates the bone cells to split and make new bone material. This is what maintains bone density.

14

qnotes

April 16- 29, 2021

The musical’s coming-of-age concept, lyrics and music were all created by Jill Sobule.

(Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons) could shred better than the boys. She was obsessed with watching the Watergate trial, while her mother was having an affair “with the guy who sold us our station wagon.” Unlike her female classmates, Jill showed little interest in gossiping about boys or wearing makeup. Additionally, she was pigeon-toed and had to wear “so not good looking” corrective shoes.

Fortunately, Mary, a cool new girl arrived halfway through the school year. Jill started hanging out with her and her freak friends.

They got high. Then Jill found herself attracted to Mary and, if it wasn’t for a puke incident, might have had her first samegender sexual experience. She switched schools, which didn’t help. She sought refuge in music, which became her savior.

For strength, focus more on body weight, cable machines and free weights (dumbbells and kettlebells especially). As much as possible, avoid machines: They generally restrict movement, and they tend to do much of the work of stabilizing the resistance and/or balance required to execute the movement. Unless you are injured or purposefully working on isolation exercises, it is better to force yourself to control your efforts on your own. As much as possible, include exercises like chest pressing, rowing (pulling backward), squatting or standing from sitting, bending over, pressing overhead and pulling downward. I might suggest a workout comprised of the following: pushups,

standing cable row, walking lunges (with or without dumbbells), alternating kettlebell pick ups, overhead dumbbell presses and seated or kneeling cable pulldowns.

In addition, tai chi, qi gong, hiking or walking (not jogging), swimming or water aerobics, cycling and yoga are all excellent for seniors.

As we age, our hormone levels change. This can both make getting enough sleep difficult (and thus exacerbating mental decline) while also undermining our ability to have energy to remain active (and thus exacerbating a slowing metabolism). Fatigue is a source of stress, and thus inflammation.

Although adequate sleep is essential

As with many queer people, life got better for Jill in college, which included a life-changing year abroad in Spain. It was there that she had her first walk of shame following a night with a woman.

Back in the United States, Jill “dropped out of school so I’d have time for waitressing, finding open mics, and figuring out where the lesbians hung out.” Just as she was preparing to leave Denver and move to New York with a girlfriend, she met a record label guy who invited her to Nashville which led to her first record deal.

Shortly thereafter, Jill had her big breakthrough moment with her 1995 hit single “I Kissed A Girl” (not the inferior Katy Perry ripoff). The rest, as they say, is pop music history, which Jill reveals in humorous and heartbreaking detail.

On almost all of her albums, Sobule has included at least one song about the horrors of junior high school and adolescence. What makes F*ck7thGrade more than a jukebox musical is the feeling one gets that she’s been writing towards something like this all along. She’s a naturalborn storyteller in song and in speaking, and hers is a story, a cautionary tale of survival, that needs to be told. Streaming now through June 30 at citytheatrecompany.org/play/fck7thgrade. : : Rating: B+

throughout our lives, what I mean by rest might be better described as relaxation and mental focus. To improve mental acuitym I suggest meditation, studying a foreign language, making a hobby of something creative (music, art, dance, etc.) and solving puzzles of whatever kind. Give your mind activities that keep you curious and minimize your ability to focus on fretting. : : Jack Kirven completed the MFA in Dance at UCLA, and earned certification as a personal trainer through NASM. His wellness philosophy is founded upon integrated lifestyles as opposed to isolated workouts. Visit him at jackkirven.com and INTEGRE8Twellness.com.

life

Our People: Sandra Hamlin-Rivers Renaissance Woman

B

BY L’MONIQUE KING | QNOTES STAFF WRITER is, she was on the corner with her back to me and wearing a t-shirt that had a giant Confederate flag on the back. She was pretending to check her mailbox. I thought to myself what if I — this big, Black, lesbian woman was somewhere, like on a plane or a bus, where there was nowhere to go. What if I were part of Black Lives Matter and wearing a Black Lives Matter t-shirt? Would she be so brazen? If there wasn’t anywhere to go, we’d be forced to sit together, then what? I thought maybe we should have a conversation. People would get a much better understanding [of each other] if they just sparked conversation with each other and communicated some things. I just really think a lot of the hate would dissipate once we communicated and realized how much we actually have in common. “Pieces” is based on those what ifs.

rooklyn-born Sandra Hamlin-Rivers resides in a quaint little house in Columbia, S.C. with her wife Lenore Rivers and their two-year-old labradoodle, Riley. She lives less than a half-hour drive from her daughter and only child, Asia, a U.S. army veteran of 21 years.

Sandra is a storyteller. Her gift of storytelling shows up in the form of short stories, plays and screenwriting. She’s a proud Brooklyn College dropout who majored in English and loves to cook. This Easter Sunday, she sits in a back room of her home she calls the art room, dressed in a Beatles T-shirt and navy-blue leggings.

The sound of Mahalia Jackson and Aretha Franklin’s Amazing Grace album can be heard in the background while the smell of lamb and spring roast chicken permeate the air. She’s preparing dinner for a friend, her daughter and her wife but still manages to find time to speak with qnotes to share tales of her ever-evolving life.

Are you working on any new plays or films?

I am. A film and a play. I am in pre-production, I guess you could say, for a short film called “Envy,” which actually has to do with a homeless woman. My other project is a play, and it’s called “The White Incident.” It’s about two families named White. One family is white and one family is Black and hilarity ensues. I like to write and have teachable moments in my writing, but I always try to infuse humor because these subjects about race and sexuality can be very tense. Infusing a lot of humor makes it easier to go down.

Who is Sandra Hamlin-Rivers?

Sandra Hamlin-Rivers, let’s see. She has a lot of facets. She is passionate, she is sensitive, humanitarian. She’s got a really big giving heart. Well, she’s an Aries. I don’t know if you know much about the zodiac signs, but it’s the first sign in the zodiac. They are said to be courageous, leaders and not having a lot of patience. And because they don’t have a lot of patience, they might be seen as having quick tempers. The thing that gets my temper up the easiest is people. People who are unkind, people are bigoted and people who exclude others who they think may be beneath them. In my perfect world, we’d all love each other, we’d all feed each other and embrace each other. In my perfect world.

If your partner had to describe you in one word, what word do you think she’d use?

She would say passionate. Brilliant. Pick a word. I don’t know, which is the better word? She says both of those words quite often.

That must make you feel good. Do you agree with her?

Well, I am passionate about everything I think and feel. I don’t really see myself as brilliant… umm… I see myself as an observer.

How long have you been married?

12 years. She’s a great supporter of me.

So, you’re originally from Brooklyn. As a northerner, what’s it like for you being a mature Black lesbian in the Carolinas?

Oh My God! That’s capital O, capital M, capital G and a lot of exclamation points [laughter]. It’s challenging to say the least.

Do you care to elaborate on that?

On which one? Being Black, being a lesbian? There are many Black lesbians here in the south, but a majority of

Sandra Hamlin-Rivers has a knack for storytelling.

(Photo Credit: Lenore Rivers) them come off as though they’re in the closet and fearful. Unlike in the north where I always feel free. I’m gonna make it do what it do, wherever I live. But, it is much easier to go about your normal life in the north than it is here.

Since relocating to Columbia you wrote and directed “Pieces.” Can you talk a little bit about the inspiration for that short film?

Is inspire the right word? It started off as a one-act play that debuted for a Charlotte Black Gay Pride Event in 2019. It was so well received, I decided to turn it into a short film and entered it in a few film festivals. It won Freedom Festival International’s Audience Choice award. But originally, there was an incident [I was moved by] when I first got to Columbia.

There was a young white woman. Her house was across the street from my house but on the corner. I came out to walk my dog one day. She came out of her house, saw me from down the street and ran back in. By the time my dog Mr. Twixx and I had gotten to the corner where her house

Are there other ways you channel your creativity outside of writing?

I paint, I sew and I love cooking. I love cooking and making people come over to eat. I don’t really have to make them, but I just love cooking for people. It’s therapeutic, and it makes people happy. Especially cake, cake is definitely happy food. They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but the way to everyone’s heart is through the stomach. At least that’s how I see it.

When you look back on 30-year-old Sandra Hamlin-Rivers, what surprises you most about who you are today?

I think the writing and that people like my writing. In my 30s I was acting. I did a lot of theatre and some film in my 30s. So, everytime someone says, “this is good,” I’m like, really? I’m very critical of myself. I am my biggest critic. In my 30s I was perhaps more arrogant. Most people in their 30s call them new people because they know everything; you can’t tell them anything, and you couldn’t tell me nothing when I was 30. But today, I’d second guess myself. I’m not as apt to just say, oh yeah, this is it! I think I have humbled myself and now I think, I hope this is it.

As a senior member of the LGBT community what would you want to share with the New People, the younger LGBT community?

Put your cell phone down and take a minute to stop and smell the roses. : :

April 16- 29, 2021

qnotes

15

16

qnotes

April 16- 29, 2021