QNotes, April 19, 2019

April 19-May 2, 2019

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April 19-May 2, 2019

inside this issue

April 19-May 2, 2019 Vol 33 No 26

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12 10 Questions with Vic:

Melissa Etheridge

contributors this issue

GayTravel.Com, Vic Germani, Libby James, Joe Killian, Jack Kirven, Lainey Millen, Orbitz News Sources, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Rachel Sutherland, Trinity

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charlotteobserver.com/1166/ a local news partner of The Charlotte Observer

RAIN AIDS Walk 2019

There are power in numbers and the upcoming AIDS Walk on May 4 certainly illustrates that by showing up to support efforts to fight HIV/AIDS many benefits can be reaped.

news 5 RAIN Shows Power in Numbers 6 N.C. Companies Scored in HRC index 6 Diners Help Raise HIV/ AIDS Awareness 6 News Briefs 6 Reel Out Charlotte Annual Film Fest Screenings Announced 6 Community Bands Together for Unity in Song

a&e 17 19

Tell Trinithy Out in Print: ‘An Indefinite Sentence’

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Health & Wellness: Yellow Lenses

Removing night time exposure to bluelight from artificial light sources such as electronics improves all aspects of health. Additionally, the use of yellow lenses outdoors also aids in the overall health process.

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life 8 9 10 15

Day, Weekend Tripping Airline Makes History Pride Travel Heating Up Health & Wellness: Yellow Lenses

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The Case for Banning Conversion Therapy in N.C. Legal Eagles: Parent Coordinators

events 18

Fun Things to Do!

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April 19-May 2, 2019

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The case for banning conversion therapy in North Carolina Guest Commentary

BY Joe Killian | Guest Contributor

M

It seemed almost itchell Gold, like like an inevitable many gay North conclusion in 1971, Carolinians, cannot Gold said. This is what understand why there isn’t happened to young already a state law banning gay people. They were so-called “conversion” sent to doctors, institherapy. tutionalized, submitSixteen states and ted to electroshock Washington, D.C., now ban therapy — all with the the practice, which aims to goal of making them “cure” lesbian, gay, bisexual straight. and transgender young Famous gay men people. from backgrounds And polls show a law similar to his own had forbidding it in North experienced it — Lou Carolina enjoys overwhelmReed, Allen Ginsberg. ing bipartisan support (bit.

Before current films ly/2IqyJor). like “Boy Erased” and Yet a new bill to ban the “The Miseducation therapy (bit.ly/2VJpweo), of Cameron Post” which has been linked illustrated the to higher rates of suicide harmful effects (bit. among LGBTQ youth, faces ly/2P0XSap) of what is a tough road to even getnow commonly called ting a hearing in the North “conversion therapy,” Carolina General Assembly. it was the frightening The bill would prohibit but inescapable fate licensed therapists, social of many lesbian, gay, workers, psychologists, psybisexual and transgenchiatrists or paid pastoral der young people. counselors from attemptBut amazingly, ing the therapy on anyone Mitchell Gold rallies against bullying, conversion therapy and other Gold’s psychiatrist under 18 or on disabled abuses directed toward LGBTQ youth. (Photo Credit: NC Policy Watch) said “no.” adults. They could risk “He said, ‘I can’t losing their licenses if they cure you,’” Gold said. “But he said, ‘I can help you learn to don’t comply. The state would be prohibited from subsidizlove yourself.’” ing the practice, covering it through insurance or giving It would be another two years before the American money to organizations that practice it.

Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from its “This is a practice only an adult who has the mental Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM), which categorizes capacity to consent should engage in, if they so choose,” psychological problems. But Gold’s psychiatrist was ahead said Kendra Johnson, executive director of LGBTQ advocacy of the curve, helping him to understand his problem wasn’t group Equality NC. his nature, but rather the difficulty of living in a society that Gold doesn’t buy the support for the therapy among didn’t accept it as “normal.” religious groups as legitimate.

That, Gold said, opened up a world of possibilities to “It’s time for America’s faith traditions to see their rejechim — setting him on a road to self acceptance, personal tion of LGBTQ people because of their innate sexuality, and and professional fulfillment and ultimately, advocacy. the insistence that they change through harmful so-called Gold has been a member of the board of the Human therapy, for what it is — bullying,” said Gold.

Rights Campaign. He was also a North Carolina delegate For Gold, it’s an intensely personal issue. to the Democratic National Convention in 2004, where he Today, Gold is one of the biggest names in American helped force discussion of gay rights in the party a decade furniture. before the landmark Supreme Court decision that legalized His Taylorsville company, Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams, same-sex marriage in all 50 states. has its own national chain of branded stores. It crafts beds, More recently, Gold has zeroed in on religious bullying chairs and sofas for Restoration Hardware, William-Sonoma of LGBTQ youth.

Home and Crate & Barrel. During their years in the White In 2010, Tyler Clementi, a Rutgers University student, House, the Obama family chose two pieces of the compaleaped to his death from the George Washington Bridge ny’s furniture for America’s most famous home. (nyti.ms/2IslraP) after his roommate used a webcam to But in 1971, none of that seemed possible. broadcast him having sex with another young man on A young college student from a middle class Jewish family the Internet. in New Jersey, Gold was struggling with what then seemed Clementi was from an evangelical Christian family like a terrible secret. He was gay and he couldn’t imagine a who, after his death, left their church. Gold befriended world in which that might be okay. the couple and supported them in the formation of the “In my teenage years, really starting at 11 years old, I Tyler Clementi Foundation to combat the sort of bullying thought God hated me,” Gold said. that drove their son to suicide. Mitchell’s own non-profit, He couldn’t imagine coming out to his parents and couldn’t Faith in America, merged with the foundation in its work imagine them accepting it, given their religious background. (bit.ly/2IarUYP).

“My parents were wonderful, terrific people, but I was in In 2010, Gold edited the anthology book “Youth Crisis: a position where my religion is teaching that it’s a sin and an What Everyone Should Know About Growing Up Gay” abomination,” Gold said. (amzn.to/2Ge6kjF). The book, which collects many personal On the verge of a nervous breakdown, Gold finally stories just like Gold’s, grew out of conversations he had talked about his problem with a psychiatrist. with young people who continue to face the same pres“The doctor said, ‘What can I do for you?’” Gold rememsures and fears he did decades ago. bered. “And I said, ‘I’m gay and I want you to cure me.’”

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April 19-May 2, 2019

“In my own community, there are 13- and 15-year-old kids who want to take their own lives,” Gold said. ”I feel very fortunate where in my own community I’ve been able to talk to young people, talk them off the ledge.”

Gold said he’s seen people of faith turn around on LGBTQ acceptance and become powerful advocates for equality. But those who are deeply invested in inequality still hold too much power.

“I would like to believe, like Anne Frank, that all people are inherently good,” Gold said. “I would like to believe that with education, [Senate leader] Phil Berger and all of these legislators will open their hearts and minds, to learn what other peoples’ lives are like.”

Gold said he’s spoken with Baptist ministers who have turned on the issue in their hearts but can’t bring themselves to do so openly for fear of losing their jobs and being exiled from their religious communities.

“And then there are people like the Phil Bergers, who have dug themselves in a hole and don’t want to say they’re wrong,” Gold said.

“I’ve been wrong in my life, I’ve made mistakes,” Gold said. “But a person of integrity learns, they stand up and say, ‘I’ve been wrong and now I have to fix this.’”

The Mental Health Protection Act (bit.ly/2UbmHRQ) is a chance to do that, Gold said. It doesn’t require anyone to denounce their religious beliefs — it just ends a practice that has been studied and found to be ineffective in its goals and harmful to those who undergo it.

Last year, the Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Law and Public Policy at UCLA School of Law released a study on the practice, finding that: • 698,000 LGBTQ adults (18-59) in the U.S. have received conversion therapy. That number includes 350,000 LGBTQ adults who received the treatment when they were adolescents.

• About 20,000 LGBTQ young people (13-17) will receive conversion therapy from a licensed healthcare professional before they reach the age of 18 in the states that did not, as of last year, ban the practice.

• About 6,000 LGBTQ young people (13-17) living in states that do ban conversion therapy would have received the therapy from a licensed health care professional before they turned 18 if their state had not instituted a ban.

• Across all states, about 57,000 LGBTQ young people (13-17) will receive conversion therapy from religious or spiritual advisors before reaching the age of 18.

According to Kendra Johnson, information on the number of North Carolinians who have undergone conversion therapy is not readily available because the individuals and organizations who practice it are often not very transparent about it.

“You cannot support electric shock therapy to change someone’s person, you cannot support sleep deprivation, starving children — all of those different things. Child abuse is not a parental right,” she said.

Gold said he couldn’t agree more.

“This legislation wants to let LGBTQ people have full equality. Who are the people against it?” Gold said. “Why are they against it? They believe we’re sinners and immoral and all of that. Because of their ignorance, they’re willing to let people be second class citizens. That is immoral.” : : This story originally appeared on NC Policy Watch and is reprinted with permission. Visit ncpolicywatch.com to learn more.

Joe Killian is an investigative reporter with N.C. Policy Watch.

His work takes a closer look at government, politics and policy in North Carolina and their impact on the lives of everyday people. He previously worked at the News & Record in Greensboro and became the paper’s full-time government and politics reporter. His work has also appeared in the WinstonSalem Journal, Go Triad, the Bristol Press in Bristol, Conn., and the Cape Cod Times in Hyannis, Mass.

news

RAIN shows power in numbers for upcoming walk event Over 1,000 to Gather in Uptown Charlotte for HIV Awareness

by Rachel Sutherland | Guest Contributor & Lainey Millen | Qnotes staff WRITER

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The 23rd Annual AIDS Walk Charlotte will be held on May 4 in Uptown Charlotte at the Wells Fargo Plaza & Atrium. Considered one of the largest HIV awareness and fundraising events in the Carolinas, it is expected to draw upwards of 1,300 participants.

The community will trek through the nearly twomile course to provide a visual representation of the region’s commitment to caring for neighbors in need and slowing the spread of HIV. Participants are offered the opportunity to wear “honor beads” of various colors to signify their connection to the cause — whether they’re attending the AIDS Walk as someone living with HIV themselves, as someone who’s lost a loved one or simply to show their support.

The event opens with registration and check-in at 9 a.m., followed by an opening ceremony at 10:30 a.m. Afterwards, participants will head out at 11 a.m. to begin their fundraising effort’s work to fruition. At noon when walkers return, the total monies raised will be announced.

Families are encouraged to bring their children.

In addition to a breakfast food truck being on site to fuel walkers before the event, Sir Purr and Homer the Dragon are also expected to attend.

There is no registration fee to participate in the walk, but attendees must raise a minimum of $25 to receive an official AIDS Walk T-shirt. The fundraiser’s goal is $160,000, which will go toward continuing RAIN’s mission of empowering youth and adults living with HIV and those at risk to live healthy and stigma free.

“Yes, we’re raising money, but we’re also bringing the community together to help fight stigma,” said Nathan Smith, RAIN’s vice president of philanthropy. “It can be unnerving to stand up for any cause, but when you have 1,300 people standing next to you, behind you and in front of you to support those living with HIV and those at risk, there’s power in numbers.”

HIV is still an issue in the local community, Smith added. On average, six new cases a week are reported in Mecklenburg County.

“AIDS Walk Charlotte benefits people who don’t feel like they have a voice in the community,” Smith said. “The walk helps them realize their voices can be heard and need to be heard, and that they are valued.”

AIDS Walk Charlotte, sponsored by Wells Fargo and WCCB Charlotte’s CW, is a family affair open

Volunteers will welcome participants to the 23rd Annual AIDS Walk on May 4 in Uptown Charlotte. (Photo Credit: RAIN)

to all who want to participate. To learn more, visit aidswalkcharlotte.org.

For more information on RAIN and its services, visit carolinarain.org. : :

April 19-May 2, 2019

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news N.C. companies scored in HRC index WASHINGTON, D.C. — America’s leading companies and law firms are meeting strengthened criteria to meet the evolving needs of the LGBTQ community around the world, according to the 2018 Corporate Equality Index (CEI) released by the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) Foundation.

The foundation has strengthened its criteria to meet the needs of LGBTQ workers in the most rigorous score card to date. Five hundred and seventy one companies have been designated a Best Place to Work for LGBTQ Equality for their efforts in satisfying all of the CEI’s criteria results in a 100 percent ranking including 13 in North Carolina.

In total, 892 companies and law firms were officially rated in the new CEI, up from 887 in last year’s. The report also unofficially rated 135 Fortune 500 companies, which have yet to respond to an invitation to participate in the CEI survey assessing their LGBTQ policies and practices. The average score for companies and law firms based in North Carolina is 88 percent. Of the 21 companies ranked, 13 earned 100 points, 3 earned 90 points and above and 17 earned 80 points and above.

“The top-scoring companies on this year’s CEI are not only establishing policies that affirm and include employees here in the United States, they are applying these policies to their global operations and impacting millions of people beyond our shores,” said HRC President Chad Griffin. “Many of these companies have also become vocal advocates for equality in the public square, including the dozens that have signed on to amicus briefs in vital Supreme Court cases and the more than 170 that have joined HRC’s Business Coalition for the Equality Act. Time and again, leading American businesses have shown that protecting their employees and customers from discrimination isn’t just the right thing to do it’s also good for business.”

North Carolina companies and their ratings percentage include: VF Corp., Greensboro, 100; Hanesbrands Inc., Winston-Salem, 75; BB&T Corp., Winston-Salem, 90; Bank of America Corp., 75; Lenovo (United States) Inc., Morrisville, 100; Duke Energy Corp., Charlotte, 100; Compass Group USA Inc., Charlotte, 80; Laboratory Corporation of America Holdings, Burlington, 100; Blue Cross Blue Shield of North Carolina, Durham, 55; Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams, Taylorsville, 100; QuaintanceWeaver Management, LLC, Greensboro, 100; Moore & Van Allen PLLC, Charlotte, 100; Womble Bond Dickinson (US) LLP, Winston-Salem, 100; Ingersoll-Rand Company, Davidson, 90; GlaxoSmithKline LLC, Research Triangle Park, 100; Food Lion, Salisbury, 100; Lowe’s Companies Inc., Mooresville, 100; Replacements Ltd., McLeansville, 100; Reynolds American Inc., Winston-Salem, 90; Alliance One International, Morrisville, 0; and Cargo Transporters Inc., Claremont, 100.

Other key findings revealed in the 2019 CEI: • The number of U.S. employees with a corporate non-discrimination policy protecting them from sexual orientation or gender identity discrimination is 16.8 million.

• Gender identity is now part of non-discrimination policies at 85 percent of Fortune 500 companies, up from just three percent in 2002.

• More than 500 major employers have adopted supportive inclusion guidelines for transgender workers who are transitioning.

• 135 Fortune 500 companies were given unofficial scores based on publicly available information.

Over the last several years, CEI-rated companies have dramatically expanded their support for transgender workers. This year 83 percent of companies participating in this year’s CEI offer at least one healthcare policy that is inclusive of their transgender workers, and 73 met stringent new criteria that requires all blanket exclusions of medically-necessary care for transgender workers be removed from all health policies the company offers. Additional this year, the CEI scoring criteria requires that to earn a top score, businesses must maintain domestic partner benefits for same- and different-sex partners and require that their supplier diversity programs explicitly include LGBTQ-owned suppliers.

The CEI rates companies and top law firms on detailed criteria in four broad categories: non-discrimination policies, employment benefits, supporting an inclusive culture and corporate social responsibility including public commitment to LGBTQ equality and responsible citizenship.

The full report is available online at hrc.org/cei. info: hrc.org.

— Lainey Millen

Diners help raise HIV/AIDS awareness ASHEVILLE, N.C. — On April 25, Western North Carolina AIDS Project (WNCAP) will hold its largest annual fundraising event, Dining Our for Life (DOLF) which benefits HIV prevention and care. “…The most important benefit is how many people are educated about the ongoing crisis of HIV/AIDS,” said WNCAP Executive Director Antonio del Toro.

Ninety-five local restaurants will open their doors and will donate 20 percent discount of their gross sales to WNCAP. These restaurants are open for breakfast, lunch and/or dinner (see diningoutforlife.com/city/asheville/ for the complete list.). Contact the restaurants and make reservations today.

Thousands of individuals in WNC are living with HIV, and many of them do not know their status. WNCAP helps the local community access HIV prevention tools, including PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) a daily pill to help prevent HIV. WNCAP also helps those living with HIV engage with medical care so that their viral load can become undetectable, creating effectively zero risk of transmitting HIV sexually. Resources generated by Dining Out For Life help individuals survive and thrive in a world where there remains ample stigma surrounding HIV. DOFL was honored with a “Best Of WNC” award by Mountain Xpress for Best Local Fundraising Event. Asheville also ranked in the top 10 DOFL cities in 2018 — outranking New York and Chicago.

WNCAP assembles a team of over 250 volunteers to help support Dining Out For Life. “We work hard to recruit dependable community volunteers to serve as ‘ambassadors’ during each meal shift at all of our participating restaurants,” explains WNCAP Community Resource Coordinator Chris Winebrenner. “The ambassador’s role is to invite their family, friends, and colleagues to come out to eat at their assigned restaurant. Volunteer ambassadors will greet diners, thank them for supporting the event and offer up extra donation envelopes which will enter diners into a raffle for one of three great grand prizes! Simply by donating a few hours at their favorite participating restaurant, ambassadors are able to make a crucial difference in the lives of people living with HIV in our community.” To receive more information about becoming an ambassador, email Winebrenner at wncapvolunteer@wncap.org. or visit wncap.org/DOFL. This year’s fundraiser is underwritten by presenting sponsor, Prestige Subaru.

Another Carolina city holding a DOLF event is Charleston, S.C. Monies raised there will benefit the Roper St. Francis Ryan White Wellness Center, 1481 Tobias Gadson Blvd., Suite 1. There are 29 participating restaurants that are donating from 10 percent to 50 percents of gross sales.

The kickoff for their fundraiser begins on April 20, 11 a.m., at Tanger Outlet Mall, 4840 Tanger Outlet Blvd., North Charleston, with participating food trucks Happy Thai, CastIron and Miracle’s Tasty Hotdog Express. Joined by Mix 95.9 this family event will feature health screening, family games, a special Le Creuset raffle giveaway and cooking demonstration and a photo opportunity with Charlie the Riverdog.

Other lead-up events being held during the week’s awareness and fundraising effort are: Wig Out Wednesday benefit show at El Jefe, 468 King St., on April 24, 8 p.m.; food truck and more assembly on the Greenway and Bon Secours St. Francis Hospitals, 2095 Henry Tecklenburg Dr., on April 25, 11 a.m.; Takeover Charleston, April 25, hosted by Taco Boy, 217 Huger St.; nightcap at Dudley’s on Ann, 42 Ann S., and Patti O’Furniture Drag Show at 11 p.m.; and The Charleston Riverdogs appreciation night (ticket purchase at riverdogs.com/groups; password, dineout), 360 Fishburne St. The list of restaurants can be found online at diningoutforlife.com/city/charleston/. info: diningoutforlife.com. wncap.org/dofl. rsfh.com/ryan-white-program.

— Lainey Millen

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April 19-May 2, 2019

It’s time for a gaycation

Southerners on New Ground are holding their Gaycation 2019 from May 30-June 2 at Deerhaven Retreat & Conference Center located in Paisley, Fla. info: southernersonnewground.org.

Community urged to be counted The Washington Blade reported that the National LGBTQ Task Force and a coalition of 15 national civil rights and progressive groups have launched a campaign encouraging members of marginalized communities to be sure that they are counted in the 2020 U.S. Census. For the first time, respondents will be asked to define their relationships as one that is same-sex or opposite-sex. info: washingtonblade.com. taskforce.org.

Report shows gaps in HIV testing, treatment

A Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report published on the first day of agency’s 2019 National HIV Prevention Conference provided new data showing the vast majority (about 80 percent as of 2016) of new infections come from people with HIV who either don’t know they have HIV or are not in care. The new report underscored the critical need to expand HIV testing and treatment, which is a vital part of the proposed federal initiative, “Ending the HIV Epidemic — A Plan for America.” info: cdc.gov.

Trans org founder makes SXSW Micolle Maroulis, co-founder of No More Dysphoria which helps transgender and non-conforming individuals pay for different aspects of their transitions, took the stage at South by Southwest in March in Austin, Texas, accompanied by her indie/ emo band Hit Like a Girl. info: nomoredysphoria.com. hitlikeagirlcontest.com.

CLT reality show new season date set

The Situation Circle, an inclusive online reality show produced in Charlotte, N.C. will launch its second season on May 5 at 9 p.m. on UrbanSocial TV. Hosts bring together participants who discuss controversial topics surrounding politics, religion, relationships, sexuality and careers.

Season one episodes are available online.

The show was created by Malia Brown. info: tinyurl.com/yy93xf4h.

Church nets new tees

Myers Park Baptist Church will have a unified look when they wear their new T-shirts to Pride parades and other LGBTQ-related events in the future. The shirts sport a rainbow effect lettering for “MPBC” and the slogan “Open to All” underneath. info: myersparkbaptist.org.

Carolina bans continue

South Carolina joins North Carolina as locations where state-sponsored travel is banned, said California Attorney General Xavier Becerra. Although not explicitly mentioned, a provision in a South Carolina law enacted in 2018 is written so broadly to enable discrimination based

on sexual orientation.

info: tinyurl.com/y2emlmam.

Org names new staffer

The Black AIDS Institute has named Bruce Smail as its Deputy Director effective as of April 1. info: blackaids.org.

New mag features Monáe

The front cover of them had as its subject for the Conde Naste publication launch performer Janelle Monáe and an interview inside where Monáe discussed coming out, freedom and living and loving “out loud.” info: tinyurl.com/y5tuadxq.

Reel Out Charlotte annual film fest screenings announced CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The Reel Out Charlotte film festival returns to Camp North End, 1824 Statesville Ave., for a newly expanded week of film screenings and special events April 28-May 5, organizers announced. A program of Charlotte Pride, the 11th annual film festival is presented by American Airlines and Rosedale Medical. The event will feature several local and regional premieres, including some of the past year’s most widely praised cinematic releases.

“Reel Out Charlotte is a film festival devoted to highlighting the experiences of LGBTQ people,” said Daniel Valdez, president of the Charlotte Pride Board of Directors. “LGBTQ themes and storylines are still often left out or toned down in mainstream American cinema and outright censored in other places across the globe. We’re proud to present an opportunity for members of the local LGBTQ community to see our lives, our loves, our triumphs and our challenges uniquely played out on the big screen.” Among the films to be screened are: May 2, 7:30 p.m., “They” — A 2017 featurelength drama, also making its Charlotte premiere, telling the story of a non-binary Chicago teenager exploring their gender identity; May 3, 7 p.m., “Rafiki” — A 2018 Kenyan feature-length drama initially banned from its home country due to its portrayal of a lesbian romantic storyline — with a Pride reception in partnership with Charlotte Black Pride and Charlotte Pride held from 5:30-7 p.m.; May 4, 3 p.m., “Tucked” — A 2019 British film making its Charlotte premiere. This feature-length drama explores the relationship between an older drag queen and a new-to-the-scene performer.

“Tucked” & Tipsy Drag Brunch precedes the film screening at 1:45 p.m. Admission is $20 and includes brunch-style hors d’oeuvres, two mimosa drink tickets, drag performances and the film screening; May 4, 9 p.m., “Wild” (“Sauvage”) — A 2018 French feature-length drama which follows the story of a 22-year-old sex worker, starring Félix Maritaud of 2017’s award-winning film “BPM (Beats Per Minute),” a 2018 Reel Out Charlotte selection (This North Carolina premiere was met with controversy at its debut at the Cannes Film Festival in 2018, where some critics walked out of the screening due to its honest and frank depiction of the lead character’s experiences.); May 5, 5 p.m., “Gay Chorus Deep South” — a 2019 film which made its debut at this spring’s Tribeca Film Festival, making its Southeastern U.S. regional premiere during Reel Out Charlotte. This feature-length documentary follows the Gay Men’s Chorus of San Francisco during their 2018 tour through the Deep South, including scenes from their stop in Charlotte. The screening is preceded by a special performance from the Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte.

Other films making their local or regional premieres during the film festival include: “Sorry Angel,” April 28, 6 p.m., followed by a panel discussion on the representation of HIV and the AIDS crisis in film; “Freelancers Anonymous,” preceded by a Women’s Reception, April 30, 6 p.m.; “Brief Story from the Green Planet” (“Breve historia del planeta verde”), May 1, 9 p.m., presented with Charlotte Latinx Pride; “When the Beat Drops,” Friday, May 3, 9 p.m.; and “TransMilitary,” May 4, 7 p.m., presented with Charlotte Trans Pride, followed by a talkback with transgender veterans.

The film festival’s opening reception on April 28, 5-7 p.m., will include out transgender actor and director of color Nava Mau. Free and open to the public, the reception will feature short remarks from Mau and a screening of her short drama “Waking Hour.” Hors d’oeuvres and a cash bar will be available. And there will be a Women’s Reception on April 30, 6 p.m., presented in partnership with the Charlotte Women’s March and Planned Parenthood South Atlantic Other special events include Reel Out Charlotte’s Annual Short Films Showcase, a free community screening of the best in recent LGBTQ-themed short films. Audience members will be invited to vote on their favorite film, which will be awarded Best Short-Viewers’ Choice. The shorts showcase will be held May 1, with doors opening at 6:30 p.m., and short films beginning at 7 p.m.

Other free film screenings and events include a screening of the documentary “Families Like Yours,” presented by EY in partnership with PFLAG Charlotte, May 2, 6 p.m., and “From Stonewall to Selma,” May 4, 5 p.m. Both free screenings will be followed by panel discussions discussing the films and current topics.

A detailed schedule of film screenings, special events, film trailers and ticket purchases can be found online. All-access passes are $40 each and include a pack of 10 tickets and special perks including plush lounge seating provided by West Elm. Individual film screenings are $5 each. info: charlottepride.org/reelout/films.

— Lainey Millen

Community bands together for unity in song

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — LGBTQ and allied community members heeded the call when director Sarah Stephens asked them to participate in taping of the “We Are the World” video project that she was creating.

It was created to help unify the LGBTQ community. With the large amount of hate crimes, shootings and bullying that’s taking place in the country, Stephens wanted to create something that would exude love and unity between the LGBTQ community in light of all the hate they face. “The world needs to experience this love. When they see us, let them see love... when they hear us, let them hear love,” Stephens shared.

The original project was developed by Michael Jackson, Lionel Richie and Quincy Jones decades ago and has been a beacon to those who seek solace amidst the chaos.

The #LGBTQ Unites over seven-minute video showcases local “talent,” many of whom had not participated in a project such as this beforehand.

To view the video, visit youtube.com/ watch?v=xardfoVcvI. info: facebook.com/sstephensproductions.

— Lainey Millen

April 19-May 2, 2019

qnotes

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life

Day trips and weekend getaways offer respite Cool Places to Visit as the Weather Heats Up

W

BY Lainey Millen | QNotes Staff WRITER

ell, warm weather has finally arrived and what better time than to head out on the open road for a day trip or a weekend getaway. Maybe a two lane road or a busy Interstate will lead one to a fun-filled destination where relaxation and unplugging are just the ticket.

Speaking of tickets, here are some places to visit for a weekender. They offer the traveler a broad swath of options to pick from, as well as a respite from the day-to-day grind.

Outer Banks 877-629-4386 outerbanks.org.

The Outer Banks sports some of the most varied options for travelers — beaches, lighthouses, Kitty Hawk where flight was born, among others. Visitors to this area are able to put their feet up, bask in the sun and relax completely. Spend time riding a horse on the beach, take in some saltwater fishing and chomp down on seafood fare. There are over a dozen places to explore along the OBX 130-mile stretch of barrier islands, like Hatteras Island, Roanoke Island, Nags Head, Duck and Manteo.

Colonial Williamsburg Williamsburg, Va. 888-965-7254 colonialwilliamsburg.com.

For the history buff, Colonial Williamsburg is simply a perfect place to step back into the 1700s. There are hotels and onsite lodging that will help visitors experience what a day in the life of those who lived a few hundred years ago. There is no modern day traffic to contend with and visitors can walk around on the property, visiting an old print shop, museums and more. For meal time in the evening, restaurants are lit with candlelight. What truly is amazing is the quiet that visitors can enjoy. This experience is a cool way to get the feel of what it was like during colonial times for “Outlander” fans. It’s not Fraser Ridge or Scotland, but it is the next best thing.

Dollywood Parks & Resorts Pigeon Forge, Tenn.

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800-365-5996 dollywood.com.

If a good ole’ southern experience is what travelers are looking for, then Dollywood is an option. This place is just over the hill in East Tennessee and is LGBTQ ally Dolly Parton’s way of welcoming visitors to the mountain area. The vast part and resort provide an adventure for the whole family.

Enjoy time playing in the theme and water parks and kick back in a resort hotel or a rustic cabin. Dinner shows are also part of what’s available. Tickets and reservations can be made online. There are a number of packages available.

Savannah, Ga. 912-644-6400 visitsavannah.com.

Just over the South Carolina line, Savannah, Ga. is the essence of southern charm, with Spanish moss, historic homes, horsedrawn carriages, antebellum architecture and a plethora of cultural options to choose from. Art galleries are aplenty, as well as sophisticated cuisine. Additionally, nearby beaches at Tybee Island are waiting for sun worshippers and explorers will be able to enjoy both the Savannah and Wassaw National Wildlife Refuges.

LGBTQ Hangouts For those who want to spend time with “family,” there are a few options from which to choose. They are: In the Woods Canon, Ga. inthewoodscampground.com.

Metropolis Entertainment Complex Augusta, Ga. metropoliscomplex.com.

River’s Edge Dewy Rose, Ga. camptheriversedge.com.

Starlight Campground Lenior, N.C. starlitelodge.com.

Timberfell Lodge Greeneville, Tenn. timberfell.com. : :

Airline makes history

United Airlines Becomes First U.S. Airline to Offer Non-Binary Gender Booking Options

BY GayTravel.COM | Guest Contributor

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reat news for gay travelers who don’t fit into one of society’s predetermined boxes: United Airlines says it’s now the first airline in the United States to offer non-binary gender options throughout its booking channels, in addition to offering the option to select a title of “Mx” instead of the traditional “Mr.,” “Mrs.” or “Ms.” As of March 22, travelers can identify themselves as Male [M], Female [F], Undisclosed [U], or Unspecified [X], (matching indications on their passports and other IDs).

“United is focusing more than ever on its commitment to its customers, and making this a priority is part of our efforts to

build the world’s most inclusive airline,” a United spokesperson told GayTravel.com.

United’s Chief Customer Officer Toby Enqvist said the company wants to lead the industry in LGBTQ inclusivity and is providing additional employee training “to make us even more welcoming for all customers and employees.”

The training initiatives, developed with recommendations from the Human Rights Campaign and The Trevor Project, will cover “preferred pronouns…the persistence of gender norms, [and] LGBT competency in the workplace,” among other things, the company said in a statement.

“By providing non-binary gender selection for ticketing and the gender-inclusive honorific ‘Mx’ in user profiles, United Airlines is taking an important step forward for non-binary inclusion,” said Beck Bailey, acting director of the Workplace Equality Program.

While United is the first major U.S. carrier to offer non-binary options throughout its booking channels, other airlines are gearing up to do the same. Earlier this year, Airlines for America, an association representing most of the major airlines in the United States, announced that big changes were coming to how airlines classified passengers.

The association worked with the International Air Transport Association to approve a new international standard that includes non-binary IDs. Originally, the organization indicated that the changes wouldn’t take effect until June 1. : : Reprinted by permission of GayTravel.com.

April 19-May 2, 2019

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Pride travel is heating up

Orbitz Survey Reveals Top LGBTQ Travel Considerations and Trending Destinations for 2019 Pride Events

BY Orbitz News Sources | Guest Contributor CHICAGO, Ill. — Did last year’s Pride celebrations give you FOMO (fear of missing out)? With April acting as the unofficial kick off to Pride season, recognized annually and internationally throughout June, travelers can start planning a trip around the upcoming 2019 Pride festivities. To help facilitate that, Orbitz has launched its new Orbitz Pride Travel Guide, online at Orbitz.com/ Pride, that features booking tips, itineraries and travel news, as well as a resource for purchasing hotel and airline reservations.

Travelers can plan trips to key Pride festival locations or events closer to home.

According to recent data from Orbitz, hotel searches for Pride weekends have already increased by more than double digits when compared to 2018, along with a significant increase in flight searches and Pride package considerations. In fact, when asked directly in an online survey, 79 percent of LGBTQ travelers plan to attend this year’s Pride events with a group. Hotels

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(57 percent) and car shares (54 percent) are the travel accommodations most likely to be booked for Pride celebrations in 2019.1 “More travelers than ever before will be celebrating love and equality in some of the most gay-friendly cities across the country this year,” said Carey Malloy, director of Brand Marketing for Orbitz Brand. “With this being a milestone year for Pride, our message to travelers is now is the time to plan your trip while accommodations are in high demand.”

Pride Travelers are Out in the World From east to west, LGBTQ travelers have visited a range of gay-friendly cities throughout the United States, with San Francisco (13 percent), New York (11 percent) and Chicago (10 percent) ranking as the top three destinations based on a recent survey by Orbitz. Nearly half of

respondents confirmed they plan to travel between five and 50 miles for a Pride event in 2019, and 42 percent plan to travel more than 50 miles. Three in four (74 percent) of LGBTQ travelers also said that knowing whether a destination is Pride-friendly impacts their decision on where to travel.

Based on hotel inventory in key Pridefriendly destinations, recent flight prices and travel searches, the top 10 cities to celebrate 2019 Pride according to Orbitz are: Provincetown, Mass., St. Petersburg, Fla., Atlanta, Ga., Long Beach, Calif., New York City, N.Y., Minneapolis, Minn., Columbus, Ohio, Miami, Fla., Houston, Texas and San Francisco, Calif.

In addition to being one of the top 10 destinations to celebrate Pride based on Orbitz data and recent search demand, Miami Beach is known as an award-winning LGBTQ destination and kicked off Pride season during the first week of April. In fact, Orbitz sent a small delegation from Alaska to Miami Beach Pride Week and Parade. The group of four Anchorage Pride members traveled 5,000 miles together, trading the Alaska snow for sand, to embrace Miami’s city-wide Pride festivities first-hand. Orbitz sponsored the Anchorage Pride group to reward and recognize them for the positive impact they have had on their local LGBTQ

community, while also connecting with people who share their same passion and Pride, despite the vastly different destinations.

To further spotlight the 2019 Pride celebration, Orbitz will be changing its logo to the rainbow “O” for the month of June.

Orbitz’s Travel Survey Highlights:

• S ocial media (82 percent) and feedback from friends, family and peers (69 percent) are the main sources from which LGBTQ travelers are most likely to hear about Pride events.

• Nearly three in four (74 percent) Pride travelers say knowing whether or not a place is LGBTQ friendly impacts their decision to travel there.

• 67 percent of LGBTQ travelers say the experience is the most important consideration when traveling for Pride; while 17 percent say it’s location and 10 percent are most cognizant of price.

• LGBTQ travelers are looking for the best Pride discounts and deals; nearly one in three (30 percent) are looking to spend less than $100 on travel and accommodations.

1 • Hotels (57 percent) and ride or car shares (54 percent) are the travel accommodations most likely to be booked for 2019 Pride events.

• 80 percent of LGBTQ travelers would forgo their cell phone during Pride in exchange for free tickets, meals and hotel accommodations for the weekend.

• From their experience, the most Pridefriendly cities LGBTQ travelers have visited include San Francisco (13 percent), New York City (11 percent) and Chicago (10 percent).

• Nearly half of LGBTQ travelers (47 percent) will travel between five and 50 miles for a Pride event in 2019, and 42 percent will travel more than 50 miles.

• Pride travelers are split on where to sit; more than half (53 percent) would rather get front row at the Pride parade while 47 percent would rather travel first class for Pride.

• According to LGBTQ travelers, the top U.S. destinations for celebrating Pride include Boston, Miami, San Francisco, New York City and Los Angeles.

• Approximately 79 percent of Pride travelers are planning to attend this year’s events with a group, with most wanting to attend with their best friend (81 percent).

• Nearly half (47 percent) of LGBTQ travelers expressed that their ex is the companion they would least want to go with to Pride.

• More than 30 percent of LGBTQ travelers say Ellen DeGeneres is the celebrity they would most like to travel with for Pride; 24 percent would prefer to travel with Lady Gaga and 15 percent would like to travel with the cast from “Queer Eye” or the Obamas.

• And, DeGeneres, RuPaul, Barack Obama and Janelle Monáe were the top picks from nearly half of respondents (47 percent) for who they would like to see as this year’s Pride grand marshall.

For more information,visit orbitz.com/ blog/pride/ and orbitz.com/Pride. : :

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10 Questions with Vic: Featuring Melissa Etheridge Singer/Songwriter, Activist, Environmentalist

BY Vic Gerami | CONTRIBUTING WRITER six years. It’s really nice, it’s like getting back to my people, being able to kinda loosen up. There is a certain gay humor that I can fall into. I can certainly talk in more in detail what the songs are about, it’s really nice to get down with my brothers and sisters and just be in the moment and celebrate how far we have come.

You show opened on March 29 in Florida and your new album, “The Medicine Show,” dropped on April 12. Can you tell me a bit about the record and the tour?

The album really, I started thinking about it in 2016 when I saw sorta where we were all headed as a collective consciousness and sort of through even internationally where we are all sort of vibrating. I started writing all through 2017, then at the end of 2017, I started getting into the studio and thinking how to put musical thoughts together. It was different that I just walked the journey as it was in front of me, I didn’t feel rushed, I didn’t have any expectations, of this is going to be this huge thing. As it went, I said yeah this sounds good, this feels good, this thought is where I want to be, I just kept following the path as it was lit up in front of me, and I came out in 2019 with this piece of art of thought and emotion and just energy of where we have all been in the last couple of years.

Music icon Melissa Etheridge. (Photo Credit: Lauren Dukoff)

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elissa Etheridge is on top of the world. Her highly anticipated album, “The Medicine Show” dropped on April 12, she is on tour and her namesake cruise took off on March 31, on board with dozens of renowned musicians. In July, she headlines San Diego Pride, an event she looks forward to with anticipation and excitement. But this Grammy, Oscar and GLAAD Media Award winner still took time from her busy schedule to talk to me about her exciting projects. Etheridge is humble, down-to-earth and very friendly, just as I was told by those who know her well.

With multiple hit records,15 Grammy Award nominations, two wins, an Oscar, star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, how do you reflect on your remarkable career?

You’re sweet! I’m 57 and when you get to this point, oh wow, I don’t feel any different. You look back and you know what, I got to do a lot of the things that I wanted to do, and there is so much more in front of that I still want to do, and I think that’s the key, is being grateful and having that gratitude, yet looking forward with anticipation.

How does it feel and what does it mean to you to be the headliner of San Diego Pride on Sunday, July 14, especially as we commemorate Stonewall’s 50th anniversary?

Oh, you know, it’s my job, it’s what I love to do. That’s going to be so much fun.

It means that we are going to have a really, really, really good time. You know, most of my career, I try to remain very kind of neutral, you know I’m gay, but you know I’m not gay, gay gay all the time. It’s just really nice having played at lesbian bars in Long Beach, and down in Southern CA for

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Your cruise, Melissa Etheridge Cruise, embarked on March 31. Tell me about the cruise.

I was out on the ocean. It’s really fun. This is my third one. And, they came to me forever and I said no, no, no, I don’t want to go on any cruise, I think it’s silly, all this stuff. Then I went on one and went, oh my God, this is amazing. Not only is it beautiful, but I got to super-serve my fans that really enjoy my music, I’m played over 70 different songs on the cruise, I got to go really deep, I got to play my new album people, it was just seven days of me (laughs). It was awesome, and there are a lot of great artists, because it’s about music, we had Joan Osborne, Paula Cole, Shawn Colvin, Delta Rae, Dar Williams and Priscilla Renea, just some really great artists on it.

Who are some of your personal heroes? People you admire?

Rachel Maddow, I want to go fishing with her.

That’s a little bucket-list. I admire Ava DuVernay, she has really taken her calling and stepped up.

Any of the presidential hopefuls intrigued you so far?

I’ll take anybody. You know what, I met with Sen. Warren, I think she’s an amazing human being, an incredible leader with a brilliant mind and a strong heart. I met Kamala Harris, I think think she is a strong and powerful leader with a great sense of justice, could be a great leader you know. I met Corey Booker, I find him strong and smart, they are incredibly intelligent people, I think I met them all except for Kirsten Gillibrand, I don’t think I met her.

Tell me about your LGBTQ fans.

They’ve been there, they have always been there. It’s something that no matter where I go in the world, it’s a

percentage and an ingredient, and I’ve always thought that if people feel like this is a safe place, that coming to my concert, they’re going to find people, they just feel safe being who they are. It’s a part of wherever I go.

What are a few of your favorite charities or causes that are near and dear to your heart?

I’ve always found that near and dear to my heart are very personal, so you’re going to find Gay & Lesbian charities, you know GLAAD is probably doing some of the greatest work around the globe, and of course HRC. Then I move into the health space, the breast cancer space, I shy away from a lot of the big cancer money machines because I concentrate on the smaller ones.

I have a charity called ‘“Pink Ribbon Garden Project” which is part of the Libby’s Legacy coming out of Orlando, Fla. It’s a very small organization that gives mammograms to those who can’t afford them in Orlando and other cities.

And then we are teaching in places that suffer from food injustice, underprivileged neighborhoods how to actually garden and form a real food supply.

And the other one is cannabis. The marijuana, MPP (Marijuana Policy Project), NORML (National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws) and ASA (Americans for Safe Access) the groups that do so much work in Washington to get some for all the injustice the drug war has brought on.

You are an avid environmentalist. What basic things would you like the public to know about the state of our global environment?

I would say, you know, it’s easy to get overwhelmed with how bad it seems, yet the only way out of it is to start. All we have to do is take a moment to acknowledge, yeah, we are part of the earth, we need the earth and everything the earth causes and represents in our air, environment, water, our trees and this whole system that is like a body that we interact with, all we have to do is to understand that we are a part of it. And the minute that happens, we will all have the answers. Because that’s what we will all be looking for.

So, I believe that in the next 10 years, it will be the absolute priority and it will change, and we will change our earth and sort of the way we think about humankind. I think that’s one of the big changes coming.

Aside from promoting the record and the tour, do you have other projects coming up?

I’m currently writing the music for a musical version of “Mystic Pizza” that’s going to be coming out in 2020 or 2021.

For more information about Melissa Etheridge, including her tour and cruise, visit MelissaEtheridge.com. : : Melissa Etheridge plays in Durham, N.C. on May 2, 8 p.m., at Carolina Theatre, 309 W. Morgan St. Tickets are going fast and are available at carolinatheatre.org.

Vic Gerami is a journalist, media contributor and the editor and publisher of The Blunt Post. He spent six years at Frontiers Magazine, followed by LA Weekly and Voice Media Group. His syndicated celebrity “Q&A column, 10 Questions with Vic,” is an LA Press Club’s National Arts & Entertainment Journalism Award finalist. Gerami is a contributor for QNotes, Montrose Star, DC Life Magazine, Out & About Nashville, Q Virginia, GNI MAG, Windy City Times, WeHo Times, GoWeHo, Los Angeles Blade, Asbarez, California Courier, Desert Daily Guide, Armenian Weekly, GED, The Pride LA, IN Magazine and The Advocate Magazine.

April 19-May 2, 2019

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A different type of PC

Legal Eagles: Parent Coordinators Assist in Conflict Resolution

BY Libby James, attorney | guest WRITERs

Parent coordinators can help parents deal with high conflict relationship issues which promotes a healthier environment for everyone involved. (Photo Credit: Lolo Stock via Adobe Stock) Has there ever been that one person you just couldn’t get along with? The one person who never agreed with anything you said. The one person who would contradict any statement you made. The one person who shot down any suggestion you made, even about the most minute issue.

Picture that person in your mind. You know exactly who I am talking about.

Now imagine that person is your parenting partner. The person with whom you are supposed to co-parent and raise your child. The person with whom you share one of the greatest gifts bestowed upon humans. And you simply can’t agree on anything. And it’s not only that you can’t agree on anything, but you can’t even communicate with one another.

That is my cue. In addition to practicing family law, I serve as a parent coordinator (“PC”) for parenting partners who have a high-conflict relationship. They have separated, divorced or perhaps never married.

But the one constant is that they disagree on virtually every important matter related to their child or children, and they have taken their disagreements to court.

PCs are a relatively new addition to the child custody landscape in North Carolina, having been codified in 2005 as part of the court system. PCs are attorneys or therapists who have received specialized training. Judges appoint a PC to assist parenting partners in co-parenting their children. To be a PC, I had to go through over 24 hours of specific training, in addition to holding my law degree.

These neutral third parties work with parenting partners on a variety of issues.

Some PCs are appointed to assist parents in improving communications between one another. Other PCs are directed to act as decision-makers over major issues if the parents cannot agree. As a PC I have selected extra-curricular activities, made educational decisions and resolved holiday visitation disputes. Some of my colleagues have been asked to make fairly serious medical decisions for children because the parents cannot agree on the course of treatment.

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The service provided by PCs is invaluable. Without PCs children would be left in limbo while parents are in a stalemate over an issue. Or, these parents would be running to the courthouse for a judge to make every decision, clogging up an already overwhelmed court system. Working with a PC is also less expensive for parents than holding a hearing about a parenting issue in court.

Here’s how the process plays out in real life. One of my families had a daughter who was good at gymnastics and loved it. The dad thought she should move to the next level of classes. And by next level, I don’t mean the next step in skill learning, but a more competitive training facility. The mom thought she didn’t need to make that leap yet and that the daughter would be fine in the lower class.

I spoke with both parents and reviewed all the information about both options.

After my investigation, I decided the daughter should move up. Now the daughter has been in the new system for close to a year and everyone, even Mom, agrees it was the right move.

I enjoy serving as a PC for families. As an attorney, I often wear an adversarial hat when representing my client. Don’t get me wrong, fighting for what my client is entitled to is an honor and I am proud to do so. However, when I am a PC, I shed the adversarial hat and resolve disagreements for parents in a more efficient manner than a courtroom, saving the parties time and money, and hopefully relieving a high tension situation for the children.

If you have a high-conflict relationship with your parenting partner and are often frustrated, speak to a lawyer about having a PC appointed in your case. You may be able to save yourself time and money, not to mention headaches. One other important consideration: If you hate a decision that a PC makes, it is possible to ask a judge to review it. : : Family law attorney Libby James with Horack Talley in Charlotte is certified as a family law specialist by the N.C. State Bar Board of Legal Specialization. Reach her at ljames@ horacktalley.com.

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Blocking blue light with yellow lenses

Health & Wellness: Removing Night Time Exposure to Blue Light Improves All Aspects of Health

BY Jack Kirven | qnotes contributor As I mentioned in a past article (goqnotes.com/50029/), sleep hygiene is very important to rest and overall health and wellness. This is because the body heals and the brain detoxifies during sleep (bit.ly/2I9rn9n). When something interrupts your sleep, the effects ripple out across your entire life, manifesting as clouded thinking and forgetfulness, impaired judgment and decision making, weakened physical performance, sugar cravings (leading to weight gain, insulin resistance, and diabetes), Alzheimers and all the cascading diseases and injuries that stem from these.

A ubiquitous source of sleep deprivation is artificial light in general, as well as the gadgets that have assimilated us into a hive mind (which emit blue light in particular). It has become much more common knowledge that we should avoid TV, tablets, computers, phones and other devices an hour or so before bed. We know they keep us engaged and stimulated, which in itself prevents relaxation. Lots of people also recognize that the LEDs in the screens break down serotonin and disrupt the sleep cycle. In short, it’s very common now to understand that overexposure to blue light is bad for sleep and thus bad for health. But why?

Photoceptors

Back in the last century, when I was in high school, biology class taught me the eye has only rods and cones. These are the structures at the backs of the eyes (the retina) that send the brain information about image and color. Rods make up the hugest portion, but they don’t convey color.

Cones are sensitive to wavelengths of light that we think of as red, blue, and green. They are far fewer, and it’s for this reason we lose the ability to distinguish color in lower light (e.g., dusk, dawn, night, caves, dark rooms, deep water, romantic

restaurants, dance clubs, etc.). But more recent discoveries have added a new class of photoreceptors, and these have absolutely nothing to do with color, depth perception, clarity or anything we consider “vision” (the creation of images).

According to a study called “Effects of blue light on the circadian system and eye physiology,” in mammals, photoreception occurs only in the retina by three types of photoreceptor: cones, rods and the intrinsically photosensitive retinal ganglion cells (ipRGCs). The classical photoreceptors (e.g., rods and cones) are mostly responsible for the image-forming vision, whereas the ipRGCs play a major role in non-image-forming photoreception, that is, the photoreceptive system that regulates circadian photic entrainment, pupillary light response, and other important biologic functions. (Tosini, et al: bit.ly/2UQrbSc) Something that distinguishes these ipRGCs is their connection to the brain. They do not send signals to the part of the brain that interprets images. They connect, via the retinohypothalamic tract (RHT) from the eye into the hypothalamus. This is the part of the brain that controls all the circadian rhythms of the body.

Hypothalamus

The hypothalamus controls homeostasis in the body.

It regulates a whole host of functions, including body temperature, kidney function, reproductive hormones, and levels of an enzyme called aralkylamine Nacetyltransferase (AANAT). AANAT converts serotonin into N-acetylserotonin (NAS), and NAS is then converted to melatonin in the pineal gland. Light hitting the ipRGCs stimulates the hypothalamus to command the body to produce cortisol and suppress melatonin. Darkness removes the stimulus of the ipRGCs, which then causes the hypo-

thalamus to “flip a switch.” Cortisol is suppressed in favor of melatonin. Interrupting this switch by stimulating ipRGCs triggers cortisol, which then recharges the body for wakefulness. That is specifically what undermines healthful rest.

Color Theory

Our brain interprets different frequencies of visible light as color. What we think of as red has the longest wave length, and these wave lengths get shorter as we progress through the spectrum. Ergo orange, yellow and green are see Yellow Lenses on 16

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continued from page 15 all shorter than red. Shortest of all are blue and purple.

Blue light is the very specific frequency that influences sleep, because we have adapted to respond to it particularly. Blue light is the trigger in the sky that causes us to wake up and start hunting and gathering.

Blue light scatters a great deal, making it very stimulating. This scatter is readily apparent on foggy days. It’s the reason drivers wear yellow glasses to improve clarity during storms.

Baseball players wear yellow lenses to improve depth perception. The lenses reduce that glaring blue light, which quickly exhausts the eyes and can lead to headaches and eye strain. Overexposure to blue light can also cause physical damage to the tissues and cells in our eyes. For these reasons, blue light blasting out at us all day and night can impair both sleep and the general health of the eyes. Cataracts, macular degeneration and other forms of sight impairment result from extended exposure to this frequency of light. It’s important to wear UVA/UVB/blue light blocking lenses outside during the day to protect the eyes and reinforce healthy sleep patterns.

You need safe exposure to daylight to reset your internal clock and get optimal sleep later. I prefer dark lenses outside during the day and yellow tinted lenses inside at night; however, you can find options that don’t darken or tint the world in gold (but why wouldn’t you want to see the world in gold?).

In elementary school your art teacher taught you the primary colors are red, yel-

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low, and blue. This is for pigment. Pigment is a filter, but we’ll come back to that. The primary colors of light are red, blue, and green.

Combining red and blue gives magenta; red plus yellow yields green; and green with blue makes a sky blue color called cyan. Adding all these lights together creates white. This additive process yields new colors. Pigments, tints, and filters, on the other hand, absorb certain frequencies to reveal colors that are then free to bounce into your eyes. Filtering all color leaves black. This is a subtractive process. So then: Yellow light is red plus green, but yellow paint is every color minus red and green.Yellow tinted lenses look yellow, because they are allowing red and green light to enter your eyes.

How do they do this? By absorbing blue.

This is why they help you maintain a proper circadian rhythm: They prevent the stimulation of ipRGCs. This in turn interrupts their signaling to the hypothalamus, which then tells the pineal gland to produce melatonin.

This mechanism allows melatonin to build up and put your entire body into sleep mode. If you want a referral, these are the yellow tinted glasses I got from Amazon, and they make me start yawning within minutes of putting them on (https://amzn.to/2WPo4aw.J. : : Jack Kirven completed the MFA in Dance at UCLA, and earned certification as a personal trainer through NASM. His wellness philosophy is founded upon integrated lifestyles as opposed to isolated workouts. Visit him at jackkirven.com and INTEGRE8Twellness.com.

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Feeding the Fire of Your Relationship Tell Trinity

BY Trinity | CONTRIBUTING WRITER Hey Trinity, After seven years with the same person, our relationship has become sexually stale.

Some of our friends who are also couples say, “Try different and alternative sexual activities”. Don’t you think sexual “alternatives” are cop-outs?

Sincerely, Alternative Desires, Glenn Falls, NY Hey Desires, Some people say, “Being in love and making love should be enough and anything else is a cop-out.” To them I say, “See you in… divorce court.” As time goes by, pumpkin, every relationship needs love, happiness and “things” that help the relationship grow emotionally, as well as sexually. Every relationship truly needs its share of naughty and nice, adventure and spice, which also means opening up to sexual “alternatives.”

Besides counseling, workshops and taking romantic vacations together, many couples turn to role-playing, intimate videos and/ or sex toys. Some couples even try mild S&M, threesomes and sex clubs (gasp!).

Communication is what keeps a relationship alive, but seeking sexual alternatives is often what helps a relationship thrive!

Love, Trinity

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qonexions

Hello Trinity, I’m trying to convince my friend to come out [of the closet] to his family and friends. Don’t you think that it’s better and healthier to come out than to hide from everyone all the time?

Sincerely, Coming of Age, Savannah, GA Hello Coming of Age, Yes, coming out has to be one of the single MOST important transitions a healthy and happy LGBTQ person makes. Being

“closeted” in some way or another leaves one with a sense of shame or of being “in hiding” which is dangerous, debilitating and just dumb, unless your life and well-being is in danger! Remind your friend of Dorothy in the “Wizard of Oz” who was afraid of the great and powerful Wizard until one day she realized that he was actually afraid of her and, her desires to go home actually gave great freedom to the people of Oz. So, darling, keep pushing your friend to come out because there really is “No place like home!” (Just follow whatever color road to your coming out destination! And, be totally you! Check out my cartoon to see how.)

Dear Trinity, Every time I’m at my boyfriend’s house, he has houseguests cooking, hanging out and watching TV. There is never any privacy. I feel like we’re making his guests uncomfortable.

My house is not an option. How do I get his houseguests to leave when we need privacy?

Yours truly, House Guests Horrors, Chicago, IL Dear Horrors, It’s difficult to have any sense of romance or privacy when you’re in a frat house full of houseguests unless you always want to lock yourself in the bedroom. First, ask your boyfriend if you can either have a quiet evening at his home, i.e., pick a night of the week that he can ask his friends not to visit.

And if all else fails, sweetie, go to the fuse box and “create” a power outage to see if that doesn’t get these “super-glue” houseguests to stick themselves somewhere else.

Good Luck, Trinity

Dearest Trinity, Why do some people have the ability for figuring out if a man is gay or not. There must be clues?

Thanks, Clueless, Chattanooga, TN Dearest Clueless, Some men give away their sexuality by the way they dress, act, by the company they keep, but mostly by what they say.

Next time you’re in a pinch, honey, try this word association test. It may help!

Trinity’s Word Association Test for Straight and Gay Men (read across) TOPIC

1. HOUSE: 2. SPORTS: 3. FIRE: 4. MUSSLES: 5. FOOD: 6. COURT: 7. SUNDAY: 8. GARDEN: 9. CLEANING: 10. CAR: 11. PARADE:

STRAIGHT GAY Word Word Association Association Building Decorating Bar Room Locker Room Truck Men Bake Worship Fast Gourmet Divorce Empress Football Brunch Madison Square London’s Covent I don’t know!

That’s all I do!

Racing or Repair Chauffeur/Mechanic What?

Where!

With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com.

Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

space starting at $22: call qnotes for details 704.531.9988

April 19-May 2, 2019

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events government employees with ID. guilfordgreenfoundation.org.

April 27-28 Secret Gardens of Fourth Ward

April 19-24 ‘A Bronx Tale’

Belk Theater at Blumenthal Performing Arts Center 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte Various Times A boy is torn between loyalty to his father and a charismatic mob boss in this musical adaptation of Chazz Palminteri’s one-man show turned film of the same name. With music by “Beauty and the Beast” songwriter Alan Menken. Tickets start at $25. blumenthalarts.org.

April 26 ‘The Cake’ Staged Reading

Winston-Salem Theatre Alliance 1047 W. Northwest Blvd., Winston-Salem 8 p.m.

Written by Winston-Salem native Bekah Brunstetter, a writer and coproducer on NBC’s Emmy-winning “This Is Us.” The cake/gay wedding controversy comes to North Carolina. When the girl Della helped raise comes back home to North Carolina to get married, and the fiancé is actually a fiancée, Della’s life gets turned upside down. Free admission. (Donations accepted to benefit Shine Theatre Camp. wstheatrealliance.org.

April 26 Green Queen Bingo

Terrace at Greensboro Coliseum Complex 1921 W. Gate City Blvd., Greensboro 7 p.m.

Fuscia Rage leads the entertainment lineup at this quirky fundraiser for the Guilford Green Foundation & LGBTQ Center and Greensboro Pride. Doors open at 6 p.m. Appropriate for ages 15 and up. Tickets available for purchase online or at the door. $15 general admission, $12 for students and

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9th & Poplar Sts., Charlotte 12-4 p.m.

The Friends of Fourth Ward will host the Secret Gardens of Fourth Ward, a garden and lifestyle tour in the heart of Historic Fourth Ward. From small to large, the tour showcases a mix of private gardens and rooftop terraces, along with complimentary cocktail tastings and small bites along the way. Explore historic Elmwood/Pinewood Cemetery beginning at 3 p.m.

Use free B-cycle bikes on Saturday and horse-drawn carriage rides. Tickets are $25 and are available online. fofw.org.

April 27 5th Annual Spring Fundraiser

McGill Baptist Church 5300 Poplar Tent Rd., Concord 6 p.m.

The Concord/Kannapolis PFLAG chapter continues its annual event to raise funds for its scholarship award. This year the organization will be awarding a high school senior residing in Cabarrus County a $1,000 scholarship.Tickets are on sale now and are $15 each. Email ckpflag@gmail.com for tickets which must be purchased in advance. ckpflag@gmail.com.

April 27 Salisbury Pride Potluck Picnic

Ellis Park 3541 Old Mocksville Rd., Salisbury 11 a.m.–7 p.m.

Bring a dish to share with the group and hang out for a few minutes or for the day. Lunch will be served at noon and dinner at 5:30 p.m. salisburypride.com.

April 27 ‘Drag Me to Church’

Calvary United Methodist Church 304 E Trinity Ave., Durham 6 p.m.

This family-friendly drag performance will raise funds on behalf of iNSIDEoUT 180, a non-profit, youth-

April 19-May 2, 2019

April-June 2019

Submit your events: editor@goqnotes.com

led organization providing support for LGBTQ individuals and school-affiliated Gay-Straight Alliance groups.

The event also features a 50/50 raffle and silent auction. Tickets $10, available online. bit.ly/DragMeToChurch.

Office, located in the Belk Theater Lobby at 130 North Tryon St. The show is family friendly and appropriate for all ages. tinyurl.com/yyhogqvu.

April 29-May 4 Charlotte Jazz Festival

Fayetteville St., Raleigh 11 a.m.–6 p.m.

The free, family-friendly annual celebration offers live entertainment, local artists and vendors, food and a KidZone. outraleigh.org. bit.ly/OutRaleigh2019.

Various Locations and Times With offerings including “Ellington Through the Ages” by the Lincoln Center with Wynton Marsalis, this year’s Charlotte Jazz Festival is a week-long celebration that also provides numerous free events centered around Uptown Charlotte. bit.ly/2FPEfz2.

May 3-4 ‘Big Gay Sing 4: The Definitive Guide to Gay Hollywood’ Duke Energy Theatre 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m.

Bigger, pinker, fluffier and gayer than ever concert presented by the Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte. Romp through songs from some of the big screen’s most spectacular queer hits like “Over the Rainbow” from the “Wizard of Oz,” a brand-new commission of “Revelation” from last year’s “Boy, Erased” and more in between.

Audience participation included!

Tickets are $25-$35 and are available online at tinyurl.com/y32h95rz or from the chorus website. gmcc.org.

May 4 Beatles vs. Stones — A Musical Meltdown

McGlohon Theatre at Spirit Square 345 N. College St., Charlotte 8 p.m.

The two greatest rock ‘n’ roll bands of all time face off as the Blumenthal Performing Arts host tributes to the Beatles and the Rolling Stones.

Renowned tribute bands Abbey Road and Satisfaction engage in a musical showdown of the hits.

Tickets are $35-$65 and can be purchased online at carolinatix.org, by phone 704-372-1000 or through the Blumenthal Performing Arts Box

May 4 Out! Raleigh

May 4 Rainbow Ball

805 Spartan Blvd., Spartanburg 7-11:30 p.m.

This fundraising gala benefits the future LGBTQ Upstate Outreach Center. Individual tickets start at $40, sponsorships at $250. pflagspartanburg.org/events.

May 5 Liberating Theologies

Charlotte Museum of History 3500 Shamrock Dr., Charlotte 8 a.m.-4 p.m.

The Freedom Center for Social Justice hosts its second annual Liberating Theologies Speaker Series, a one-day event featuring theologians who will share their radical, cultureshifting interpretations of Biblical texts. Speakers include Rev. Dr. Keri Day, John Boopalan and Rev. Dr. Pamela Lightsey. There will be a panel discussion following the speaker’s presentations. Bishop Tonyia M. Rawls, center’s founder and executive director, will moderate the conversation. Early bird ticket sales end on April 30 and are $35. Afterward tickets are $50/general, $75/onsite, $12/student and $25 per person/ groups of five or more. tinyurl.com/yxvmy7rp.

May 12 Aly & AJ, with Armors

Cats Cradle 300 E. Main St., Carborro 8 p.m.

Sisters Aly and AJ will perform at

the Triangle’s Cats Cradle on their “Sanctuary” tour. The duo touch on themes that focus on stories of identity, self-reflection and social consciousness. The tour is also teaming up with The Trevor Project and will have a donation bin and awareness booth to support the cause. Tickets are $25/advance, $150/meet & greet and $250/soundcheck, listening party and are available online. tinyurl.com/y36lbq77. alyandaj.com.

May 16 Mason Deaver Book Talk & Signing

Park Road Books 4139 Park Rd., Charlotte 7 p.m.

Park Road Books presents Mason Deaver, author of “I Wish You All The Best,” a coming-out and coming-of-age Young Adult novel featuring a non-binary protagonist, written by a non-binary author. tinyurl.com/y392w4he.

May 17 Support the Rainbow: Professionals and Allies Education Conference

Novant Health Forsyth Medical Center Conference Center 3333 Silas Creek Pky., Winston-Salem 8:45 a.m.-5 p.m.

A day of healthcare education presented by Northwest AHEC. Registration is available online. tinyurl.com/y5b84wun. wakehealth.edu.

May 17 Time Out Youth Platinum Gala

Le Méridien Charlotte 555 S. McDowell St., Charlotte 6:30-10:30 p.m.

TOY’s yearly formal event celebrates LGBTQ youth in the Carolinas and raises funds for the organization’s new and ongoing enterprises. Dinner, entertainment, and silent and live auctions are included in the festivities. Individual tickets start at $100, with sponsorship options to $25,000 and beyond. Spots still available for corporate sponsorships. Tickets and more information are available online. timeoutyouth.org/gala.

REGULAR EVENTS Charlotte Latin Pride

Spanish-language support nights, second and fourth Tuesday of each month, 7 p.m., Charlotte Pride offices at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church, 1900 The Plaza, Charlotte. info: charlottepride.org/latin/

a&e

‘An Indefinite Sentence: A Personal History of Outlawed Love and Sex’ Out in Print

PFLAG Charlotte

Support meetings, second Monday of each month, 6:30-8 p.m., Time Out Youth Center, 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: pflagcharlotte.org

Prime Timers

Monthly meeting including dinner, speaker, games and more for gay men ages 21 and up, 5-7 p.m., Park Road Baptist Church Fellowship Hall, 3900 Park Rd., Charlotte. info: primetimersww.com/charlotte/

Trans Youth Group

Weekly discussion groups for transgender youth ages 13-20 each Thursday, 4:30-6 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org

Transcend Charlotte

Support groups for partners, friends and family of transgender and gender non-conforming adults ages 18 and older, second and fourth Sundays of each month, 6-7 p.m., Time Out Youth Center, 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: transcendcharlotte.org

Youth Drop-In Space

Drop-in space Monday-Friday, 3-6:30 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org

Youth Discussion Group

Weekly discussion groups for LGBTQ youth ages 13-20 each Wednesday, 6:308:30 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org

Youth of Color Group

Weekly discussion groups for LGBTQ and ally people of color each Thursday, 7-8:30 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org

UPDATES/ADDITIONS?

Do you have a regular and reoccurring community event you’d like listed? A listing to update? Email us at editor@ goqnotes.com.

BY terri schlichenmeyer | CONTRIBUTING WRITER “An Indefinite Sentence: A Personal History of Outlawed Love and Sex”

by Siddharth Dube ©2015, 2019, Atria Books $28.00 376 pages Coming out was difficult enough.

Even if everyone supported you and very little changed, you changed; still, though you had doubts and fear, it was something you had to do. Now read the new book “An Indefinite Sentence” by Siddharth Dube and imagine what it might’ve been like coming out, but knowing that it’s dangerous.

When Siddharth Dube was 10 years old, he saw a dancer who was lovely, curvy and sultry, and who pulled off her skirt with a flourish at the end, revealing herself as a man. The memory, the surprise, stuck with him — in part, perhaps, because he had known for two years then that he “was a girly-boy…”

No one much cared about that while he was young and growing up in relative affluence near Calcutta. He was “a carefree child,” unashamed of his “undefined gender,” but that disappeared: as a preteen, he was enrolled in a private academy and was bullied for being “sissy,” despite a school culture that allowed boys to demand sex from other boys.

At that time, and for most of Dube’s youth, there was nothing available in India “to help a young man… deal with his… homosexuality.” He felt “hatred” from his peers and neighbors and from his own father, who strongly urged Dube to leave India to attend college in America. In the U.S., though, Dube found that “hatred for homosexuality was many magnitudes greater than in India.”

And yet — seeing gay life in a more permissive country was liberating. Dube patronized a gay bar for the first time, finally found the love he sought and discovered his passion for careers in journalism and activism on the subject of AIDS, the people affected by the disease and the world’s attitude toward it. That began a journey that ultimately took him back to his home country, where he settled in with “one of the greatest loves of my adult life” although, because gay sex was illegal in India, doing so was dangerous.

Months after they moved, Dube discovered just how dangerous…

Take that as a warning: that little bombshell arrives all too early inside “An Indefinite Sentence.” By the time it does, you’ll be lulled into a veil of serenity.

That is due completely to the prose with which author Siddharth Dube tells his story: it’s soft and formal, but with elegant slang and

a very surprising willingness to use profanity in a matter-of-fact way that still feels like a slap. Dube shares his life and his travels by mixing shades of his faith along with tales of men he loved platonically and otherwise, female sex workers who bore the most blame on the spread of disease and the politics of and attitudes toward AIDS around the world. This, too, is told with outraged mindfulness that feels like a burning torch wrapped up in tranquility.

Readers searching for something different can end their search with this book. It’s stirring and calming, funny and sad; start “An Indefinite Sentence,” and you’ll have no difficulty enjoying it. : :

Author Siddharth Dube. (Photo Credit:Margurite Heeb)

April 19-May 2, 2019

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April 19-May 2, 2019