QNotes, April 24-May 7, 2015 by QnotesCarolinas

April 24-May 7 . 2015

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April 24-May 7 . 2015

inside

Frank Kalian, center, receiving the Charlotte Business Guild’s Teresa L. Davis Lifetime Achievement Award, standing with Guild President Chad Sevearance, left, and Davis, right.

Photo Credit: Poprock Photography (poprockphotography.com) courtesy the Charlotte Business Guild.

qnotes news & features

news. views. arts. 6 entertainment. News Notes: Regional Briefs

7 News Notes: U.S./World Briefs

a&e / life&style 10 Leading Ladies 11 Mommy Dearest 12 Young and Positive 15 Jane’s World 15 Tell Trinity 18 Q Events Calendar 19 Our People: Frank Kalian

opinions & views 5 Editor’s Note

❝ It’s grown immensely. It’s been an amazing change, really, from where it used to be. You couldn’t hardly even say gay back then. ❞ — Frank Kalian on the changes he had seen in the community since he moved to Charlotte in 1985

5 Commentary

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qnotes connect April 24-May 7, 2015 Vol 29 No 26

arts. entertainment. news. views. goqnotes.com twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue

Taylor Batten, Paige Braddock, Matt Comer, Lawrence Ferber, Norena Gutierrez, Trevion Gutierrez, Lainey Millen, Trinity

front page

Graphic Design by Matt Comer & Lainey Millen Photography: BillionPhotos.com Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBT and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBT life and social justice issues. Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Editor: Matt Comer, x202 editor@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen, x205 production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper. Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2015 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

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April 24-May 7 . 2015

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editor’s note by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

Taking stock of accomplishments and good news There’s been gnashing of teeth. Fingers pointed. Accusations made. Debate on what should or should not have happened when Charlotte City Council voted on LGBT-inclusive non-discrimination ordinances has been a hot topic for the past few weeks, ever since the proposals’ rejection on March 2. For the most part, this debate has been civil. But in many ways it feels to me as though the community has never been so divided. The ordinance package is just one issue among several that have divided community members in recent weeks, months and years. While it’s true Charlotte’s LGBT community is bruised, I also think it’s moving forward in new, exciting ways. We don’t often get the chance to report as much “good news” as we’d often like at the paper. So, in the face of so much not-so-great news recently, let me recap on some of the bright and positive things I’ve seen happening in the community: On the ordinances debate and similar topics of community priorities and direction,

I’ve had the opportunity to sit in on intriguing, constructive and intentional dialogue on issues of inclusion on matters of race and gender, for transgender people and for other portions of our community. These conversations have been numerous. Leaders and supporters of MeckPAC and other members of the Charlotte Non-Discrimination Ordinance Coalition, like Genderlines, the LGBT Democrats of Mecklenburg County, the Charlotte Business Guild and others, have taken a proactive approach to community conversation. They’re exploring new ways forward and working to collect invaluable data on the experiences of LGBT people in Charlotte and Mecklenburg County. Discussion on trans inclusion is also extending into other groups, too. I’ve been proud to volunteer in support of Genderlines’ and Charlotte Pride’s new educational, leadership development and networking initiative, Trans Pride. Dozens of folks recently showed up for an evening of socializing and network-

commentary by Taylor Batten :: The Charlotte Observer

A novel approach on gay marriage With the U.S. Supreme Court set to hear arguments in a landmark gay-marriage case this month, South Carolina has inserted itself in a most bizarre way. The court will hear two and a half hours of argument on April 28 in cases involving gay marriage bans in Ohio, Michigan, Tennessee and Kentucky. Legal experts widely expect the justices to establish same-sex marriage as a right nationwide. South Carolina Attorney General Alan Wilson and his team this month filed a “friend of the court” brief. An amicus curiae, as it is known, allows an outside party to chime in with its two cents. Supreme Court rules say such a brief that highlights “relevant matter” not dealt with by the parties to the case “may be of considerable help.” I’m not so sure South Carolina meets that aspiration. The high court has framed the central question of the case as: “Does the Fourteenth Amendment require a state to license a marriage between two people of the same sex?” Wilson’s argument in a sentence: The framers of the Fourteenth Amendment were OK with the states discriminating against women, so surely they’d be OK with us discriminating against gays. The Fourteenth Amendment was adopted in 1868 in response to the treatment of former slaves following the Civil War. It says, in part: “No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.” Wilson argues that the person or persons who wrote those words in 1868 certainly hadn’t entertained the idea that they could apply to gay marriage. And he says the authors allowed

the states to keep their laws that then discriminated against married women (which supposedly protected “family unity”). “Indeed, the framers insisted upon leaving untouched those state laws depriving women of basic rights upon marriage to a man,” the brief says. “Surely then, those state laws exclusively defining marriage as between a man and a woman were hands off under the Amendment’s original meaning.” Wilson grants that “to some, (the framers) views might now appear outdated,” and such discrimination against women is no longer tolerated. But still: “While no one could reasonably argue that those disabilities are constitutional under this Court’s more recent decisions, the framers’ insistence upon maintaining them vividly illustrates their intent to ensure that state marriage laws are virtually the exclusive province of the states.”

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ing in what organizers say will be a year-long community-led initiative to increase education about, awareness of and involvement for transgender members of the local community. Groups like the Human Rights Campaign — and especially the community engagement committee of its local Charlotte steering committee, under the tutelage of business leader Dianna Ward — are working to reach out and engage with community members like never before. Ward has taken on listening and feedback sessions and just recently invited me and other community members into her home, where we spent an evening learning about HRC’s new priorities and desires for community advancement “after marriage.” Recently, Guilford Green Foundation held one of its most successful annual fundraisers in Greensboro. Organizers billed it as the “wedding reception we’ve all been waiting for.” In Charlotte, Charlotte Pride recently invited more than a dozen fellow LGBT Pride organizations and nearly 60 representatives from across the South for the annual Prides of the Southeast Conference. Later this summer, in July, Charlotte will once again stretch out its hospitable open arms when the Equality Federation — a national group representing state-based LGBT advocacy groups in the U.S. – comes to the

Queen City. Here the group and representatives from across the country will put their minds together in order to strengthen the kind of grassroots work it takes to win and maintain LGBT equality in our hometowns and states. Also in July, Charlotte Black Gay Pride will mark a special anniversary, celebrating a decade of organizing in the Queen City. Another group, One Voice Chorus, also recently celebrated their own iconic milestone — feting 25 years of community service and song. In every movement, in every community, in every city or institution, there are setbacks. Sometimes there are failures. But there are always just as many successes and triumphs. Though it’s easy — especially for me, writing and reporting day in and day out — to focus on hot-button stories of division, disagreement or dispute. But it’s also good every now and then to simply take a step back and take stock of where we’re at and all the great things happening around us. Charlotte and North Carolina, you’ve got a lot of great things going for you. I’m looking forward to a summer packed with uplifting, positive news as we keep moving ever forward for a better city and state. : :

Wilson cites several cases from the 1800s upholding discrimination of various kinds and saying marriage is primarily about procreation. In some instances, he concedes that those rulings have since been repudiated. Even so, he uses them to justify today’s discrimination against gay people. The Fourteenth Amendment’s framers insisted upon the subordination of married women, the brief says. “With this in mind, they did not, by any stretch of the imagination, contemplate that same-sex marriage was required by the Amendment or its Due Process Clause.” At least three times Wilson acknowledges that the Supreme Court’s decisions pertaining to the Fourteenth Amendment have rejected this originalism argument. This time, he says, should be different. Why? Because marriage was long thought to be between a man and a woman. The amendment’s authors may have been focused on race, but they nevertheless articulated a broad principle about universal equality. I hope and expect the high court will give South Carolina’s brief all the weight it deserves, and no more. : :

— Originally published by The Charlotte Observer on April 10, 2015. qnotes is a member of The Observer’s Charlotte News Alliance. Reprinted with permission.

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qnotes

news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen & Matt Comer

Transgender activist awarded CHARLOTTE — Transgender leader and Democratic Party activist Janice Covington Allison was awarded the Mecklenburg County Democratic Party’s Rosa Parks Award at their annual county convention on April 18. The award is given annually to an individual who has been a trailblazer for equality. Allison has been an outspoken proponent of LGBT equality in Democratic circles and the broader community in Charlotte and across the region. In 2012, she became the first openly transgender person elected as a North Carolina delegate to a Democratic National Convention, held that year in Charlotte. Recently, Allison made news when she was confronted by anti-LGBT street preacher Flip Benham and others at the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Government Center’s restrooms; she had been at the government center in support of proposed LGBT-inclusive non-discrimination ordinances ultimately rejected by Charlotte City Council at the March 2 meeting. info: meckdem.org. — M.C.

Charlotte

Arts groups hold concert

Hero’s life to be celebrated

CHARLOTTE — A community celebration honoring the memory and life of Donaldson (Don) Wells King will be held on May 2, 3 p.m., at the Metropolitan Community Church, 1825 Eastway Dr. King’s countless contributions to the LGBT community during his lifetime spoke to his passion for inclusiveness. One of his departing wishes was to sponsor a gathering for all to celebrate one’s life. During the event, community members will share stories about King. info: 704-563-5810. — L.M.

Youth scholarship deadline nears

CHARLOTTE — Time Out Youth Center, 2320 N. Davidson St., has announced that its annual Tonda Taylor Scholarship Fund application process is open and approaching its deadline of May 8. Two $1,500 scholarships will be awarded to LGBT-identified youth who are residents of Union, Cabarrus, Gaston, Iredell, Lincoln, Mecklenburg counties in North Carolina and York county in South Carolina. Applicants must be a high school senior or graduate under the age of 21 as of May 8. Applicants who are seeking a two- or four-year undergraduate degree of their choice must be planning to enroll as a full-time, degree-seeking student at an accredited non-profit academic or vocational institution in the fall of 2015, TOY said. “Providing youth leadership and ensuring the success of LGBTQ youth is a core value for our organization,” stated Malone Lockaby, board member and scholarship committee chair for the center. “Past awardees have been successful in completing their education and leaders in the LGBTQ college movement.” Awards will announced in June. The application is available online. For more information, email O’Neale Atkinson, director of youth programs, at oatkinson@timeoutyouth.org. info: timeoutyouth.org. — L.M.

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CHARLOTTE — The Charlotte Pride Band will present their season-end concert, “Life Out Loud,” on May 16, 5 p.m., at Heaton Hall, Myers Park Baptist Church, 1900 Queens Rd. They will be joined by The Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte and One Voice Chorus in recanting self-discovery through the show’s musical narrative. Tickets are $13/individual and $22.50/family pass (two adults, all children under 12). info: charlotteprideband.org. — L.M.

PAC hosts fundraiser

CHARLOTTE — Mecklenburg LGBT Political Action Committee (MeckPAC) will have a “Mingle with a Purpose” fundraiser on May 19, 6:30 p.m., at Cathode Azure, 1820 South Blvd. This event’s purpose is to build local LGBT equality and non-discrimination in Charlotte and is sponsored by Paul Kelly, director of technical account management, Tanium; Nate Turner, Your Custom Catering and Events; and Doug Lemmone, Cathode Azure owner. For those who wish to also become sponsors, email meckpac@gmail.com. Admission is a $25-50 contribution at the door or online prior to the event. info: meckpac.org. — L.M.

Picnic slated

CHARLOTTE — A community family picnic will be held on June 7, 11 a.m.-3 p.m., at Veterans Park, 2136 Central Ave. Organizations hosting the event are Charlotte Black Gay Pride, Charlotte Pride, Human Rights Campaign and PFLAG Charlotte, among others. Admission is free. info: charlottepride.org. — L.M.

Smith tour hits the Carolinas

CHARLOTTE — British Grammy Awardwinning artist Sam Smith will head to the Carolinas on his upcoming tour. First stop on his journey will be at Time

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Warner Cable Arena, 333 E. Trade St., on July 18 at 8 p.m. On July 23, 7:30 p.m., he will visit Raleigh where he will perform at the PNC Arena, 1400 Edwards Mill Rd. Smith won Best New Artist, Record of the Year and Song of the Year (“Stay With Me”) and Best Pop Vocal Album (“In the Lonely Hour”) at the 57th Grammy Awards this year. Tickets are $49-125 and are available online. info: samsmithworld.com. ticketmaster.com. — L.M.

Openly gay leader elected

CHARLOTTE — Jamie Hildreth, an openly gay leader with the LGBT Democrats of Mecklenburg County, was elected secretary of the Mecklenburg County Democratic Party at their county convention on April 18. Hildreth, 25, began the race with several opponents but took the position uncontested at the convention. He currently serves as secretary of the LGBT Democrats of Mecklenburg County and is vice chair of MeckPAC. He also volunteers with a number of community groups, including Charlotte Pride. Last year, Hildreth worked as a field organizer with the North Carolina Coordinated Campaign for Kay Hagan’s 2014 U.S. Senate bid. Hildreth is thought to be among the first openly LGBT people elected to the county Democratic Party board in at least a decade. In 1999, local Democrats elected their first, and so far only, openly gay county party chair. info: meckdem.org. — M.C.

Seniors’ ‘buddy system’ launched

CHARLOTTE — The LGBT Aging Solutions Network has announced that its buddy system component has begun to take shape. Lynne Helms, who serves as a volunteer for the organization’s communications group, hopes that bringing its members together to supporting one another will help during times of need. It is targeted toward those who are physically challenged, may be alone or a host of other situations. Tasks include picking up groceries, stopping off at the pharmacy, as well as others that do not require heaving lifting. Abating isolation for seniors is an important component of the buddy system program. Volunteers can lessen loneliness by making calls or sending text messages. “Feeling a sense of belonging and the security that someone is aware we are there,” Helms added, provides solace to those who would otherwise experience angst, among other emotions. The group is working on setting up a calling tree by geographical location. Members are being asked to complete a volunteer form in order to make the program more successful. Simply provide first and last name, email address, phone number, address and whether one would be willing to serve as a lead in one’s area. To learn more, email lchelms@bellsouth.net. info: clt.lgbt.elders@gmail.com. — L.M.

PFLAG. She hails from Greensboro, N.C. Along with her were representatives from the Rocky Mount and Triangle chapters. Members of the local LGBT community, as well as parents and friends participated in the meeting. Organizers were Deborah Thomson and Rich Elkins. Thomson is a mother of a transidentifed middle school child and Elkis in an area activist. Thomson sought support for her child through a local school, but found it lacking. The research led her to explore starting a local PFLAG chapter. Volunteers were solicited to form a steering committee to work on establishing the chapter and beginning meetings. Over half of the local participants volunteered. The committee will meet in May to start plotting the course, and regular meetings could start as early as June. The group has received an offer of free meeting space from the Unitarian Universalist church. The facility features a large multi-purpose space with kitchen, video projection and sound system, as well as all gender-neutral restrooms. info: pflag@outgreenville.com. — L.M. and releases

Triad Crowns abound at bingo

GREENSBORO — Guilford Green Foundation’s Drag Bingo event, “Pageant Bingo,” will be held on April 24, 7 p.m., at the Elm Street Center, 203 S. Elm St., in the Empire Room. Reigning pageant princess and host Mary Kmart, special guest Kia Nichelle Lordwith and other guest stars will provide entertainment throughout the evening. Arrive at 6 p.m. and have drinks with Queens and Kings. Attendees are encouraged to gussy up. The best dressed wins a prize. Tickets are $15/advance (until noon on April 24), $15/student and military and $20/at the door and are available online. info: ggfnc.org. — L.M.

Triangle Pasta, poetry highlighted

Eastern

DURHAM — Shades of Pride, in conjunction with the LGBTQ Center of Durham, will bring out the mics for its poetry and pasta fundraising event on May 2, 8 p.m., at The Bar Durham, 711 Rigsbee Ave. As part of the evening’s entertainment, Blaize the Poet, Ms. Ego and others from the Triangle and Triad will share spoken word presentations. DJ Chaz will spin during interludes. Admission is free. Food will be sold for $5 which includes pasta, salad and wings. Shades of Pride merged with the center in March. The fundraiser is being held to bring awareness of Shades’ new direction. The proceeds from the event will go toward the Shades of Pride event from July 24-26. info: shadesofpride.org. — L.M.

PFLAG interest meeting held

Stand up for equality

GREENVILLE — Twenty-five participants attended an interest and organizational meeting to start an area chapter of PFLAG on April 9 at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Greenville, 131 Oakmont Dr. Also in attendance was Linda Stroupe, South Atlantic Region regional director for

RALEIGH — Equality North Carolina will bring its Lobby Day of Action to the State Capitol on May 5. Advocates from across the state will descend on Raleigh in support of LGBT Carolinians

see Carolinas on 8

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news notes: u.s./world. In gender pay gap, lesbians do better than straight women, gay men

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women face added challenges and worries not just because of their gender, but also because of who they are and whom they love. Discrimination and stigma, combined with the struggles faced by all women, make LGBT women and their families especially vulnerable. Anti-LGBT laws, together with inequitable and outdated policies, mean that LGBT women

see U.S./World News Notes on 8 QUICK HITS —————————— University of New Mexico students have approved a new constitution, making all pronouns in the document gender neutral. Eighty-one percent of the students voted to pass the amended document. more: bit.ly/1Do0hAg Colorado Senate Republicans blocked a measure that would have allowed individuals to change the gender markers on their birth certificates without requiring gender reassignment surgery. more: bit.ly/1b72JSr A woman working on an airplane motor at North American Aviation, Inc., plant in California. U.S. Office of War Information, 1944. Public Domain.

It takes 1 year, 4 months and 14 days for a women’s pay to equal that of man doing the same job — and thats why April 14, 4/14, was Equal Pay Day (pay-equity.org/day.html) — to remind everyone of the ongoing inequality in pay for women. But a study by the Center for American Progress (lgbtmap.org/file/paying-an-unfairprice-lgbt-women.pdf) has found some interesting data to go along with Equal Pay Day — while women on average earn less than their male counter parts, lesbians make more than their straight counter parts, and despite discrimination, they often earn more than gay men as well. Slate has a good breakdown of the science: On average, for every dollar earned by a man in a heterosexual couple, a woman in a heterosexual couple earns 63 cents, while a woman in a same-sex couple earns 79 cents (same-sex coupled men earn 98 cents)… While the exact combinations of factors that lead to a wage premium for U.S. lesbians aren’t thoroughly understood, potential explanations can tell us a lot about the ways in which sexism, cultural influences, and individual choices combine to give us the unequal workplace landscape we see today. The study combines a number of factors and numbers (find those here: williamsinstitute. law.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/ACS-2013. pdf), and beyond what seems like an optimistic statistic, the struggle to find a job and stay

employed is actually worse for LGBTQ women. From the Center for American Progress study: Women who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, and/ or transgender (LGBT) have the same concerns as other women. They worry about finding and keeping good jobs, saving for the future, taking care of their children and families, and making ends meet. But America’s 5.1 million LGBT

What happens when a professor of medical humanities and bioethics attends her son’s abstinence-only sex ed class? Tweets. Lots of them. Hilarious tweets. Read her reactions to the classroom instruction at the link below. more: bit.ly/1yypGIM Transgender vlogger and activist Aydian Dowling is leading an online poll to land on the cover of Men’s Health magazine. more: bit.ly/1Do0vqV

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Carolinas News Notes :: continued from page 6 and in opposition to laws that would harm them, Chris Sgro, executive director, shared. Participants will be able to raise their voices to oppose the state’s Indiana-style Religious Freedom Restoration Act legislation. Additionally, they will have an opportunity to show support for non-discrimination protections in employment and beyond. Visibility is key to the success of the day’s activities. Everyone in the LGBT community and its allies are encouraged to attend. Registration is available online. info: equalitync.org. — L.M.

Seniors take to fest

RALEIGH — SAGE Raleigh has received a grant to query seniors who are 50-years-old and above to participate in a survey during Out! Raleigh on May 2 along Fayetteville St. During the all-day event, shifts of volunteers will be engaged in completing surveys. The results will be presented at the upcoming White House Conference on Aging in August, organizers said. Its aim is to provide the Obama Administration with perspectives from LGBT elders. SAGE Raleigh is working with its membership to fill three shifts with two volunteers each to facilitate the task at hand. The table with be housed in a tent along with the LGBT Center of Raleigh and the center’s other programs. info: lgbtcenterofraleigh.com. — L.M.

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Volunteers needed for fest

RALEIGH — Out! Raleigh 2015 is seeking volunteers who will be willing to serve on a variety of tasks at the outdoor street festival on May 2. Greeters, KidsZone supervisors, VIP tent staffing and others are areas that need to be filled. All volunteers are required to participate in an orientation session to be held on April 25 from 12-2 p.m. A volunteer profile is available online when signing up to the orientation session. For more information, email ktaylor@ lgbtcenterofraleigh.com. info: lgbtcenterofraleigh.com. — L.M.

Religious org expands ministry

RALEIGH — The Gay Christian Network has announced that it has hired its first director of events, Trey Weaver, as part of its expansion and outreach efforts. Weaver assumes his position in May. He has approaching 15 years of experience in event planning and management, as well as six years in volunteer service overseeing GCN’s annual conference. GCN responded to its constituents’ demand for more visibility in churches, schools and neighborhoods with this hire. It is engaged in an ongoing plan to “develop and enrich our local and regional ministries — bringing GCN to you and your community,” organizers said. The organization continues to share the #LiveLoveOut message in its work, standing up to

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violence and harm to LGBT people worldwide. info: gaychristian.net. — L.M.

Western Crisis center org hosts walk

ASHEVILLE — Our Voice, a 24-hour crisis line, will hold its Walk-a-Mile Asheville event on May 2 beginning at City/County Plaza in downtown Asheville. Check-in is at 10 a.m. and the walk begins at 11 a.m. The walk is open to both men and women in an effort to stop sexual violence (rape, sexual

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assault, gender violence) in the community. In the past, one could see men walking in high heels. All participants are encouraged to walk in shoes of another, although this is not a requirement. Clients of the organization are comprised of LGBT and straight men and women. Registration information is available online and is $30/adults, $10/students and free for children under 12. Contributions are also welcomed. qnotes will share more information on the organization in the next issue. info: ourvoicenc.org. — L.M.

see Carolinas on 17

U.S./World News Notes continued from page 7 are forced to pay an unfair price in reduced incomes and added costs for everything from healthcare to housing. Making matters worse, the burden falls most acutely on those who can least afford it: LGBT women raising children, older LGBT women, LGBT women of color, LGBT immigrants, and those LGBT women and families who are already living near or below the poverty line. Discrimination leading to issues with employment aside, it appears lesbian women still come out on top when asking for pay compared to gay men. A SAGE publication’s study from earlier this month pointed out this disparity in UK salaries offered: “The firms who offer interviews to gay

male candidates pay an average salary of 2.0 percent less than those who invite heterosexuals for interview (£23,072 compared to £23,544). For lesbian women the average salary is 1.4 percent less (£22,569 compared to £22,907).” This mixed bag of stats and data doesn’t always play out in the real world — and states like North Carolina, South Carolina and Virginia continues to lack any real protections for LGBTQ employees, but it’s always interesting to see how these conversations around the pay gap, and how they impact sexual minorities, are being faced in with the broader public. — By GaryRVA (gayrva.com), a quotes news partner.

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life

Leading Ladies The strong and bold women who have shaped our community and keep it vibrant today by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

adies, move to the front of the line! You don’t always get the recognition you deserve, but, without you, our LGBT community wouldn’t be the same. You’ve been there from the earliest days of the movement and the 1980s AIDS Crisis all the way to the political advances of the last two decades and today’s latest efforts to organize and mobilize. You’re longtime leaders, movers and shakers. You’re newcomers with bright ideas and tons of new talent to offer. And, collectively, you’ve been making your indelible marks on a community ever-grateful for your community service. With Mother’s Day coming up in just two weeks, qnotes is tipping its hat to some of the Leading Ladies who have helped shape and mold our community and continue to keep us all strong, vibrant and growing.

Paige Dula Paige Dula recently came onto the political and social scene here in the Queen City. But in the few short years she’s been involved, she’s made remarkable waves of progress in helping to transform the conversation Paige Dula on the set of NBC on transgender equality, Charlotte’s “Flash Point,” during visibility and inclusion. the lead up to Charlotte’s vote on LGBT-inclusive non-discriminaDula, founder of local tion ordinances. transgender support and Photo Credit: WCNC/TV still social group Genderlines, was one of the most outspoken and leading figures in the recent push to add LGBT-inclusive protections to several of Charlotte’s non-discrimination ordinances. The effort wasn’t successful, but that’s not stopping Dula. She’s jumped headfirst into

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April 24-May 7 . 2015

continuing education, awareness and advocacy as Genderlines, MeckPAC and other groups look to bring back the ordinance proposals in the future. She and Genderlines are also working to coordinate a new initiative, Trans Pride, in conjunction with Charlotte Pride, to bring awareness and education to trans issues and provide social networking and leadership development.

politely and firmly when a male guest began to lecture. Talk about bold! Gwen Pearson Out and about everywhere. And every time with the brightest smile you’ve seen all day. That’s Gwen Pearson, publisher of the recently relaunched VisitGayCharlotte.com, the Queen City’s LGBT tourism and events website. The reinvigorated vision for VGC offered by Pearson is destined to make it a go-to resource for visitors coming into Charlotte, as well as in-towners looking for activities and events. But, above and beyond VGC, Pearson has offered her wit, charm and dedication in other areas, too. She currently works for Time Out Youth Center and is the secretary of Charlotte Pride’s board. Previously, she’s assisted, supported and volunteered with a number of organizations, including Charlotte Black Gay Pride and the Charlotte Business Guild.

Ginger Feimster Don’t ever mess with a PFLAG mom. Now, repeat that three times for Ginger Feimster and don’t forget it. Feimster is one of the most fearless, outspoken proponents of LGBT equality around, a much-needed voice for change in Gaston County. Feimster, president of PFLAG Gaston, will defend not only her openly lesbian daughter, Gelissa Stitt but every single LGBT child and Gelissa Stitt is the person in Gaston County and beGinger Feimster, left, with her yond. Just last summer, Feimster daugther, Fortune Feimster, at the 2014 partner of Charlotte’s first boldly faced down a local restauCharlotte Pride Parade. openly LGBT elected official, rant she claimed discriminated Photo Credit: Fortune Feimster/Facebook. Councilmember LaWana Mayfield. But Stitt is no against the group. The restaurant usual politician’s spouse. Side-byoften partners with local non-profits and schools on planned side with Mayfield and on her own, Spirit Night events, allowing patrons to donate 15 percent of Stitt has offered her powerful voice their bill to a non-profit of their choice. The restaurant owner had to help shape the advancement and refused to work with PFLAG Gaston. Feimster swung into action, inclusion of the city’s LGBT comraising awareness and using the resulting media coverage to munity, especially those who are African-American. She’s been speak about the experiences of LGBT people like her daughter. a dedicated volunteer and leader with Charlotte Black Gay Pride, which celebrates its 10th anniversary this year. Stitt also spreads Jenni Gaisbauer the love, actively supporting a variety of organizations like the Jenni Gaisbauer has solidly Human Rights Campaign and Charlotte Business Guild. and consistently leant her voice and talents in supporting the Robin Tanner betterment of the local commuThe Rev. Robin Tanner came into Charlotte with a splash when nity in Charlotte, for both LGBT she took the helm of Piedmont Unitarian Universalist Church’s and mainstream organizations. pulpit. She took the position at age 26 and, though young, immeGaisbauer was recently the chair diately proved herself as an able faith leader not only for her own of the Charlotte Lesbian & Gay congregation but for Charlotte’s Fund, which has given more greater LGBT, affirming and than $700,000 to local LGBT progressive faith community. or LGBT-inclusive organizaPhoto Credit: Tanner has been an outspoken tions. The Fund is now the Charlotte-Mecklenburg proponent of marriage equality largest source of continued Library Foundation and worked hand-in-hand with funding for LGBT organizaother faith, LGBT and maintions in the state. At her day job, Gaisbauer has helped to stream leaders in the local and lead the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Library Foundation to new statewide Moral Monday moveheights, providing essential, ongoing funding for the imporment, addressing issues like tant work of the city’s and county’s public library system. voters’ rights, education reform, healthcare access and more. Barbara Green Barbara Green has stepped out as one of the most Robin Tanner, right, with her wife visible and active allies in Charlotte. She’s done so in The Rev. Ann Marie Alderman. support of her child, but also because she has a deep Debbie Warren sense of justice and the need for Nearly 25 years ago, equality — especially in business. the Rev. Debbie Warren Green is a small business owner and began what has become she’s put her talents to use in helpone of the area’s largest, ing shape and mold the Charlotte most widely recognized Business Guild as it continues to AIDS service and supgrow and adapt to better provide for port organizations, the the needs of the professional LGBT Regional AIDS Interfaith and ally community in Charlotte. Network (RAIN). At a time when many in the world Recently, Green took her advocacy were still ignoring those affected by the continuing into the political sphere, appearing AIDS Crisis, it was Warren who stood up to offer on NBC Charlotte’s Sunday morning kind, affirming services that provided respect and public affairs talk show to advocate Gwen Pearson and Barbara Green with dignity for those affected by HIV. More than two for LGBT-inclusive ordinances in “Wilbur,” the new mascot of Pearson’s decades later, Warren has overseen RAIN’s growth Charlotte. And she sure didn’t let relaunched VisitGayCharlotte.com, at and provided opportunities for faith institutions, comthose opposed to equality shout the recent Charlotte Business Guild Giving Gala in March. munity groups and community members to make a her down or condescend. “Don’t point your finger at me,” Green said Photo Credit: Gwen Pearson/Facebook. difference in the lives of those in need.

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Mommy Dearest Q&A with Oscar-winning actress Mo’Nique, executive producer of gay-themed “Blackbird” by Lawrence Ferber :: qnotes contributor

Mo’Nique as Claire and openly gay newcomer Julian Walker as her son Randy.

scar-winning actress and comedienne Mo’Nique throws the word “baby” around a lot — as a term of affection, for comedic effect and when discussing motherhood of her own children and onscreen spawn. During a phone interview about director Patrik-Ian Polk’s (“Noah’s Arc,” “The Skinny”) acclaimed gay-themed feature “Blackbird,” which she executive produced with husband Sidney Hicks and stars in, Mo’Nique also tossed out the four-letter-word when expressing her appreciation for, and thanks to, the LGBT community. “Thanks, to all of you,” she shared, “because there was a time before anybody knew who this fat little girl from Baltimore named Mo’Nique was, but there was a community of folks that embraced me and loved on me, baby. It was a kind of love I never experienced before from strangers, so ‘Blackbird’ is truly my love letter to that beautiful community.” The Mississippi-set feature, adapted by Polk and co-screenwriter Rikki Beadle Blair (“Stonewall”) from Larry Duplechan’s novel, stars openly gay newcomer Julian Walker as Randy, a black Christian 17-year-old with an amazing voice, open-minded school friends and a tumultuous home situation. His younger sister disappeared without a trace five years ago, and Randy’s deeply religious mother Claire (Mo’Nique) doles out love, grief and homophobia-induced abuse in equal doses. Dad (Isaiah Washington), now separated from Claire, maintains a distance. And then there are Julian’s nightly wet dreams about other boys, including a new and assured gay student, Marshall. The film premiered at Newfest last year and opens in select theaters in New York, Washington and elsewhere (though not in the Carolinas) on April 24. It will also debut on the subscription-based Urban Movie Channel. It will stream on video on demand in August. While discussing “Blackbird” during our laughter and “baby”-filled telephone interview, Mo’Nique also touched upon her friendship with “Precious” director Lee Daniels, whose recent

claims she was “blackballed” in Hollywood for not promoting “Precious” have caused a rift between the pair, as well as her upcoming performance as lesbian singer Ma Rainey opposite Queen Latifah in HBO’s May premiere biopic about queer blues legend Bessie Smith, “Bessie.” Lawrence Ferber: Just as I was preparing for this interview, I got a call from scammers claiming they’re from Windows’ tech department, wanting to implant my computer with malware and charge me a fortune to remove a virus that doesn’t exist. Such cretins. Mo’Nique: I love those kind of calls because you can have fun with them. You say, “How’s your mother doing?” “Excuse me?” It throws them totally off their game! How did “Blackbird” come your way? Isaiah Washington and I share the same attorney, Ricky Anderson. He called Ricky up and said, “I believe Monique and Sidney will want to be involved in this project.” By the time we got finished reading page one, we knew we had to be a part. Do you like playing bad moms? No, baby! I only played one bad mom! What Claire was, was honest, and [acted in accordance with] what she believed. I won’t say she was mean. I will say she was conflicted, because there were two things happening. “I believe in this Bible and what it says so much, but I also see my son who is a beautiful human being,” and she didn’t know how to balance that. At least she didn’t throw a TV at him. OK, now! At least she didn’t throw a TV! People ask, “What did you walk away with from playing that character?” That woman had an undying faith. Most people would have given up [on finding their daughter] after all those years. But that woman said, no, no, no, the more prayers that go up get answered. She taught me some lessons.

see Mommy on 16 April 24-May 7 . 2015

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Young and Positive: A Son’s and Mother’s Journey by Trevion and Norena Gutierrez :: special to quotes

Say What? / Your Son is HIV+ An Introduction: Beginning with this print edition and continuing through the year, qnotes is proud to present Trevion and Norena Gutierrez’ column series. Together, mother and son recount their shared experiences in learning of Trevion’s HIV status and navigating life in the wake of the news. Now, Trevion and Norena each open up about their reactions and emotions as they individually and collectively live out a new reality. Trevion, 17 at the time of his diagnosis, is now 18. His story is emblematic of the experiences of young gay, bisexual or other men who have sex with men. Recent data collected over the past several years shows a significantly and rapidly rising HIV transmission rate for young men, especially youth of color. Trevion and Norena are excited to share their experiences in this new column series, published every other issue with special editions coinciding this year with Charlotte Pride and our annual World AIDS Day print edition. Follow along with the column series online at goqnotes.com/in/youngpoz/. As you begin the series, be sure also to hop online and take a look at our feature interview with Trevion and Norena.

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April 24-May 7 . 2015

Trevion: “Say What?” I was a little confused and pissed off when the doctors took my mom to tell her about the status of my health. Although I know she has my best interests at heart and loves me, I was the one who had been bleeding out of his eyes, throwing up and soiling himself. I think I was a little freaked out about it, too. I had assumed that it was a really bad case of the flu. Why wouldn’t they just inform us together if that were the case? Thinking back on that day, a part of me knew it was going to be bad. I knew the statistics of being young, black and gay. African-Americans have some of the highest HIV infection rates in the country. I knew I had been promiscuous previously, no matter how many layers of protection I wore (don’t ask). So I wasn’t surprised when the nurse took me to a little room with at least nine other people, including my mom. I looked over at her, and noticed that her face was red and her eyelids were puffy. She had been crying. She had never seen me this sick. I smiled at her and gave my cheeriest, “Hi, mom.” I was lying with false cheer. There was no cheer in me at that moment. I was weak, tired and nauseous. But no one was going to find out, because I am pretty good at hiding it, or so I thought. I have this thing about needing to make people think I’m okay, when really I’m not okay at all. Finally, I wanted to get it over with. I hate hospitals. So germy, so scary, so ominous. What is wrong with me? Why am I so sick? That’s all I wanted to know. “What’s up?” I asked the doctors. I was attempting to lighten the oh-so-serious mood in the room. It had no effect on those men and women. They could probably tell I was just as nervous as my mom. And I could tell by their fake smiles that I might want to run soon — and far away. Then, the doctor spoke. “Trevion, please sit down,” he said as I hugged my mom. That’s when I remember things falling into slow motion. I knew “it” was going to be bad. He continued, “As you know, we’ve done some blood work recently, and your test for HIV has come back positive.” BAM. Just like that, my life was slammed into perspective. And there was no escaping it. I took a deep breath and stood up. “Can I, uh, take a moment?” I asked in the silence that was suddenly so loud. I didn’t wait for them to answer and left the room without a word. My thoughts became a blur: “Say what? HIV? Holy shit!!” And then I was back to earth, and thinking of what to say. How do I sound not too distressed, but how to also not sound emotionally detached from the situation? And, oh God, my mother. What does

Norena: Your son is HIV+” I knew it was serious when the doctor said, “We need you to leave work and meet with us at 2 p.m.” I walked into what felt like a broom closet with a lot of stuff in it at the Levine Children’s Hospital where my beautiful 17-yearold son had been very ill for over a week. It was worse than walking into the principal’s office, which I had done many times on behalf of this kid. There were no less than nine doctors and medical professionals there. Some in white coats, some not. I felt the surge of energy go to my head and then to the pit of my stomach as I sat down. “Thank you for coming on such short notice,” the doctor started. “As you know, we have tested for HIV and your son is HIVpositive.” He took a long pause. I held my breath and then exhaled quietly. I could feel myself go into shock — right then, right there. It was the “I can’t think, what did he just say, oh my God, what? What’s happening, did you say HIV Positive?” crazy moment in my head. The chief physician of infectious diseases was clearly trained in giving such news to patients and parents alike. He then said, “It’s okay if you don’t hear anything else, we will have lots of time to talk.” More pause. More silence. I took a moment to look at the faces in the room. I had just been introduced to them customarily, but I couldn’t remember anyone’s name now. I knew this was “one of those moments” and so I got present in my body and I looked, really looked at the people who were gathered. They met my gaze in a deep loving and ever so kind way. The silence was okay with them. There was a slight smile, a look away. It was all they could do to comfort me. I knew instinctively that these were the medical professionals who were going to save my son’s life. They were going to help me learn, cope, and be the best mother to my child. They were going to help me get through it, somehow. And I didn’t even know what “it” was. I just knew “it” was HIV. A tear started to sneak out of my eye. I was holding it back, hard. Because I knew what followed next were more tears. I wanted to seem to the medical staff that I was a strong single Latina mom and I got here by myself adopting my now HIV-positive son and his baby brother 16 years ago. The tear dropped on my shirt and then the tears started rolling down my cheeks and there was no stopping. I knew I wasn’t going to lose it in front of everyone. I had a child who was deathly ill at the end of the ninth floor and I didn’t know what I was going to do next.

see Trevion on next page

see Norena on next page

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life

Trevion :: continued from previous page she think of me now? I must seem like a whore to all these doctors, a total whore! I knew where I got it. Wait, where did I get HIV from? Who gave it to me? When? Two thousand thoughts all flying into my head at the same time — and yet, in the chaos, I also knew that it wasn’t my fault. It’s a virus. Situations are difficult. And explaining them can be harder. How do I deal with this as it is now? I re-entered the room and sat down, taking Mom’s hands. “Are you okay?” I asked, still

knowing that the true answer was “No.” She avoided my question, making sure I was okay. We are both in shock. She tells me she’s there for me “no matter what.” And I guess at that time, it’s what we both needed. I know I participated in the conversation for the next several minutes, but I can’t tell you anything that was said. It’s not whether or not you’re okay, but it’s how you deal with not being okay in that moment. I was there, HIV-positive no matter what.

Norena :: continued from previous page I bravely said, “When I signed the adoption papers, I signed up for ‘the Good, the Bad and the Ugly.’ We have had so much Good, and we had some Bad and we will get through this with your help.” There was then a discussion about his viral load and the CD4. I nodded my head like I knew what they were talking about, but it was just some new vocabulary; I had no idea what they were talking about. I remember something about eight million. There was a pause. “When should we tell your son?” the doctor asked. “How do you think he will take the news?” Really? You want me to guess how my child will react? I graciously said, “I have no idea.” That was the answer for both. The shock wave came back. HIV. HIV. HIV. Positive.

I thought to myself, I have no idea what HIV is these days. All I remember is being in San Francisco circa 1989 and going to the Robert Mapplethorpe exhibit after he died of AIDS and that if you got HIV, you died. And, you should always wear a condom. I joined the conversation in the room. I felt my son needed to hear why he was so sick. When is the best time to tell him? I thought it should be sooner than later. With my approval, the doctors said they could start treatment and in about a week, my son would be significantly better and he could be told then. I said, “No, I can’t make it that long. When I look at my child, he knows me and he will know that something is up.” More

All smiles as Norena and Trevion pose for a quick mom-and-son selfie.

conversation between the therapist and the doctors ensued, all a blur to me. “Let’s bring him in and go ahead with sharing the information.” The tears were still falling and my nose was now messy, drippy, yick. I

asked for a tissue. There were no tissues in the whole damn room. (This would turn out to be a theme for the next 40 days in the hospital!)

April 24-May 7 . 2015

see Norena on 17

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April 24-May 7 . 2015

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tell trinity by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

Should your lover know all of your fetishes? Dearest Trinity, I’m 27, male, straight and have fetishes for woman’s panties. My girlfriend lets me wear hers and I also own other woman’s panties I call “mystery panties” because I don’t know whom they belonged to. How can I get my girlfriend to let me wear my mystery panties and not just hers? Hide The Panties, Brooklyn, NY Dearest Hide The Panties, Sleeping with, flirting with and/or wearing other women’s panties equal three things: being disrespectful, unfaithful and cheating. Once you’re dating someone it’s time to hide the porn, the pictures of your exes and the “mystery panties.” Yes, wear your girlfriend’s panties a) only if they’re clean, b) only to remind you of womanhood and c) only when they don’t make you desire other woman, then maybe gently hint about the mystery panties. But, why not keep it quiet? Honey, would you want her wearing other men’s underwear and getting all excited about it? Night, night sweetie! Hello Trinity, Relationships are so much work. Does it ever get easy? The Work Schedule, Vancouver, BC Hello Work Schedule, Relationships should get easier, but it’s always a balancing act that tortures, I mean teaches, you about life and yourself. So, stick with it. And, pumpkin, as time passes and your relationship is more about companionship, mutual respect and self-respect, then, yes, it will get easier, sort of. (My bed, oh, I mean, life and relationships are filled with work of all kinds. See my cartoon to see how I handle it.) Dear Trinity,  I caught my girlfriend cheating. Is it me? Why Me, Key West, FL

Dear Why Me, Someone cheats, not because of you, but because of something emotional or learned within themselves. In a Zen tale, “A frog needs to cross a pond and a scorpion says, ‘I’ll take you and won’t sting you.’ The frog replies, ‘Promise?’ and the scorpion says, ‘Yes.’ So the frog gets on his back. Halfway across the pond the scorpion stings the frog. When the frog asks, ‘Why’d you do it, you promised?’ the scorpion replies, ‘It’s my nature!’” And, darling, there lies the truest reason why someone cheats. Hey Trinity, I started chatting online and have met many different people. I’d like to meet some future dates, but I need advice. Internet Explorer, Santa Monica, CA

5. If you see misspelled or incompre– hensible phrases like, “Wil yu pley wit me” then prepare to meet a young, or unintelligent and /or non-English speaking CP! 6. If your CP only writes short (terse) messages, then prepare to meet the workaholic or the partier! 7. If your CP writes long messages every day, then prepare to meet the computer geek or the unemployed! 8. If your CP writes, “I’m on anti-depressants and have low self-esteem,” then get a psychology degree before meeting this person! 9. If your CP talks about genital size, sexual desires and/or rendezvous locations, then you may be chatting with everyone’s best bedmate! 10. Lastly, if you’re denied headshots, an email address, a cellphone number or relevant information, then this CP may be ugly, in “the closet” or even (more common) married!

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info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

Hey Explorer, The internet can be addictive, expensive, time consuming and dangerous. So, baby, be careful, light hearted and read: Trinity’s Smart Tips For What To Look For In The First Ten Emails With A New (CP) Chatting Partner 1. If you don’t read “LOL” (laugh out loud) at least three times by the 10th email, then your CP may be a bore, a brain or a mortician! 2. If your CP writes with a righteous, serious or know-it-all tone, then get ready to chat with The Christian Right who are never wrong! 3. I f your CP writes, “I hate…,” “I’m totally over,” “I hope you’re not this or that (stereo type),” prepare to meet Mister or Miss Miserable! 4. If your CP only posts nude pictures, he or she may only want a bang with you or with you’re whole gang!

April 24-May 7 . 2015

qnotes

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Mommy Dearest

:: continued from page 11

When cameras weren’t rolling, what sort of relationship did you have with Julian? I told him to tell his mother, “Thank you for letting me share you.” When cameras weren’t rolling, he was very respectful, just a sweet spirit and you feel like, that’s my baby. He’s so free, and so accepting of who he was, so I really got the opportunity to know that young man and any mother or father would be proud to say that’s my son. What was the toughest scene to shoot? You do dole out some abuse at Julian, even if it’s not a TV projectile. One of the hardest moments for me was when I had to spit on that baby. Because we had to do how many takes? (laughs) I had to keep spitting and spitting, and every time I was like, “Julian, I’m sorry baby.” Was some special screen spit mixed up for those scenes? No, baby, that’s from the pit of my stomach! That’s real! Patrik wants it real, sugar! Like the scenes where I had to slap him. I had to slap Julian about 10-12 times. That’s a lot of times, and he was turning red. Sidney said, “Momma, you don’t have to slap him that hard!” I was like, “Daddy, yes I do! When they say action, that’s not Mo’Nique, that’s Claire!” So every time Patrik said action, Claire got mad all over again! What sets Patrik apart from all the other directors you’ve worked with? You know, I would have to say Patrik and Lee Daniels are pretty much on the same page. Two directors unafraid to say it. Patrik is this tall, gentle giant who has such a brilliant mind. When you hear him talk, he’s very gentle, and you would never know that’s what’s going to come out on the paper. When you ask, “We’re gonna say that?” And Patrik says, “We’re gonna say it!” For me and my husband it was such a pleasure. It was a lot of fun.” Speaking of Lee Daniels, has he responded to your request for a public chat to clear up the whole discussion about you allegedly being blackballed by Hollywood? Not that I know of, no. [But] my baby gonna come around. One more “Precious”-related question — would you do a reunion with Gabourey Sidibe on “American Horror Story” playing her mom again? If it makes sense! I sure would do it!

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April 24-May 7 . 2015

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You and Sidney recently joined the NOH8 campaign. I love the photo of you two. It was such an honor to be a part of that. My husband and I get so tickled when we do things together like NOH8 and “Blackbird” and the comedy specials, because we’ve been best friends since the 10th grade and I remember standing on the balcony at our high school and I said, “One day we’re gonna be stars,” and he said, “You first.” So when we do things like this we look at each other and just chuckle. From the 10th grade to right here. How would you respond if a homophobic comment came out of your children’s mouths? You and Sidney have a pair of 9-year-old twins. Well, that’s not the babies we have, so we know that no homophobic comments would come out of their mouths. We’re raising our babies to accept and love everyone for who they were made to be. How was playing Ma Rainey, a 1920s lesbian blues singer, opposite Queen Latifah as fellow queer blues icon Bessie Smith? Playing Ma was amazing, because I feel connected to that woman. She had such a big heart and she didn’t take any mess. If you wanted it, she tried to make sure you got it. She loved people and she wasn’t ashamed of who she was. People still have a problem with being gay in 2015. Isn’t that insane? But you’ve got to go back to the 1920s and 1930s and it was illegal and they could lock you up, and that woman was unafraid to be who she was made to be. So to be able to bring her to life was such an honor and to be able to play with a living legend, an icon, like Queen Latifah, was such an honor. She is Bessie Smith. When they said action, her performance, in my humble opinion, is her best performance to date. It’s going to blow you away. This is a little hot button to ask, but I know that if Latifah officially came out it would make such a big difference in the world, and I’m curious how you feel about that. I believe people take their journeys the way they take their journeys. It is their right to take it the way they choose to take it. So I don’t have anything to say about it, because it’s my journey, she doesn’t judge my journey, whatever it may be, so how can I judge hers. What’s your dream role, if you could play any real person? You ready for this? (laughs) Cleopatra. In all of her glory and beauty, and tell the real story. Who that woman really was. She was this amazing, incredible woman who was unafraid to be beautiful and tough. : :

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life

Norena :: continued from page 13 Really? The head nurse of the children’s unit retrieved some and I asked to go splash some water on my face before Trevion walked in for the news. I went into the hall not feeling my body and then feeling like I was going to collapse. I reached for the bars on the wall. I held on for dear life. I took some deep breaths. My mind racing, “Oh God, be with me. Angels be with me. Ohhh... My dear sweet child… Pull it together Mommy…you were chosen to be his mother for this moment right now.” I somehow made it to the bathroom and was able to splash cold water on my face. My eyes were red, but not too bad. As soon as he looked at me, he would know something was up. He knows me so well, this beautiful child. When I rejoined everyone in the broom closet, Trevion was already there. I walked in and sat next to him and he said, “Hi Mom!” He knew something was up, there was too many people in the room. The chief of infectious diseases started in again. “Trevion, you know we did an HIV test and you are HIV-positive.”

Just like that. Trevion gulped, looked down, and I could see my child go into shock. Just like when I adopted him at 18 months. One day he was with his 15-year-old birth mom in Texas and the next day he was with me flying to Idaho. He was in shock for months, I just didn’t know the look, but I knew it now. Silence. “Wow,” Trevion whispered as he looked down and then at the doctor who had just given him the news. They locked eyes. And then he leaned over and took my hand and said quietly, “Are you okay?” He looked into those red teary-eyes of mine and with everything I had, I was saying, “I love you so much, son,” and I said, “Yes, mijo [Spanish for ‘my son’], I am here no matter what.” : : — Norena Gutierrez is program manager for Charlotte’s Freedom Center for Social Justice. She is the adoptive mother of Trevion and his brother. Trevion is a student at Central Piedmont Community College. They can be reached at momandtrevion@yahoo.com.

Carolinas News Notes :: continued from page 8 Witness sought for weddings

ASHEVILLE — Gay Asheville NC is searching for a few women who live in the downtown area who would be willing to serve as witnesses for couples who venture to the mountain town to wed. An honorarium of $25 will be given to each witness who participates. Weddings are generally held between 12-1 p.m. during the week at a location close to the downtown area. Interested parties should email gayasheville nc@gmail.com. info: gayashevillenc.com. — L.M.

Have news or other information? Send your press releases and updates for inclusion in our News Notes: editor@goqnotes.com.

Regional Vigil planned for Tri-Cities

JOHNSON CITY, Tenn. — The Pride Community Center of the Tri-Cities will hold a candlelight vigil for marriage equality on April 27, 7:30 p.m., at Founders Park, 125 Lamont St. Organizers want to lend their hand in showing solidarity for marriage equality across the U.S. The Supreme Court is set to hear arguments on LGBT marriage equality on April 28. info: pridetricities.com. — L.M.

April 24-May 7 . 2015

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EVENTS April-May 2015 Continues through April 26 GayCharlotte Film Festival Theatre Charlotte 501 Queens Rd., Charlotte Various times The seventh annual GayCharlotte Film Festival comes to town, with “To be Takei” screening on opening night. Tickets are $10 at the door for each movie, $8 online. charlottelgbtfilm.com.

SEP APR MO

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Bayard Rustin Symposium SEP APR MO Guilford College 5800 W. Friendly Ave., Greensboro 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Guilford College’s Bayard Rustin Center for LGBTQA Activism, Education and Reconciliation hosts its fourth annual symposium. The day-long training will focus on a deeper analysis of how systemic oppression operates toward a better understanding of how to work for transformative change. The event is free and lunch is provided. Information is available online or via email. facebook.com/events/353057471559423/. Parker T. Hurley, hurleypt@guilford.edu. –––––––––––––––––––– Janice’s 19th Annual Backyard Cookout Petra’s 1919 Commonwealth Ave., Charlotte 2-6 p.m. Janice provides all the hamburgers, hotdogs, sides and fixings. All you bring is you! Free and open to the community. RSVP for an accurate headcount online. facebook.com/events/822742711106918/.

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Submit your event to our calendar!

You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a three-for-one entry. All Charlottearea events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes.com), the LGBT Center (lgbtcharlotte.org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com).

Social Connection SEP APR MO Carm’s Cafe 42-B S. Union St., Concord 6-9 p.m. PFLAG Concord/Kannapolis hosts a silent auction, heavy appetizers, drinks and music for their fundraising event. Tickets are $15. Email ckpflag@ gmail.com for more information. –––––––––––––––––––– Big Gay Sing 3 Booth Playhouse 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 8:05 p.m. It’s the music we danced and sang to over the past 40 years, Big Gay Sing 3: Dancing with Dorothy, the irresistible soundtrack of the history of the LGBTQ movement. Celebrate the music of artists who shaped LGBT culture and culture at large. How can you stop from singing along to “Closer to Fine” and “Tutti Fruitti” (how could anyone not know Little Richard was gay?)? Stomp along to Queen’s “We Will Rock You.” You’ll scream with laughter with Delighted Tobehere’s (the artist formerly known as Roxy C. Moorecox) outrageous antics, and they’ve even got a chill or two in store for attendees. Tickets: $25-35, Reserved Seating; children under 12, $10. gmccharlotte.org.

The Transformational Workplace Design Within Reach, 4310 Sharon Rd., Charlotte 6:30-8:30 p.m.

Faith Communities St. Peter Catholic Church 507 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 8:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Sister Jeannine Gramick of New Ways Ministries joins PFLAG Charlotte for a morning workshop and seminar advocating justice and inclusion for LGBTQ people and their families. Free. –––––––––––––––––––– Davidson County Pride Davidson County Fairgrounds 400 Greensboro St., Lexington The Charlotte Business Guild hosts a 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Lobby Day SEP MAY MO panel discussion on workplace incluDavidson County hosts its first-ever North Carolina Museum of sion. Whether one works for a small Pride festival. Weekend event is free. History business or a large conglomerate, Information available online. 5 E. Edenton St., Raleigh discrimination continues to be an issue facebook.com/events/364904477020039/. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. in the workplace. The Guild has pulled –––––––––––––––––––– together an impressive group of panel‘Life Out Loud’ ists to address issues relevant to the Myers Park Baptist Church LGBT community. They include Travis 1900 Queens Rd., Charlotte Nicholson, program analyst at the Equal 5 p.m. Employment Opportunity Commission; The many voices of the LGBT comEquality NC hosts is annual Lobby Day April Simpkins, PHR, SHRM-CP, presimunity share their stories in Charlotte at the North Carolina General Assembly, dent of SRS&S Consulting; Paige Dula, Pride Band’s final concert of the season, the best opportunity to make voices VP, programmer of Professional Markets “Life Out Loud.” Gay Men’s Chorus of heard in opposition to North Carolina’s at Bank of America; and Bree Catlin, Charlotte and One Voice chorus join the Indiana-style RFRA, show strong support security engineer at Wells Fargo. Free to band in telling this musical narrative for non-discrimination protections in attend. RSVP online requested. of self-discovery. Tickets are $13 for employment and beyond and provide charlottebusinessguild.org. individuals or $22.50 for a family pass valuable visibility to LGBT and allied con(two adults, all kids under age 12). stituents in important legislative districts. Information and tickets available online. Blake Brockington film screening Information and registration online. SEP APR MO charlotteprideband.org. Theatre Charlotte, 501 Queens Rd., Charlotte, 6 p.m. equalitync.org/dayofaction/. –––––––––––––––––––– A free community event held in honor and memory of Royals Prom Dress Match Blake Brockington, 2014 East Mecklenburg High Tuckaseegee Recreation Center School homecoming king and transgender youth and social justice activist. The GayCharlotte 4820 Tuckaseegee Rd., Charlotte Film Festival will screen a short documentary by Elon University student filmmakers Mason Sklut, Maggie 6 p.m. Sloane and Sergio Ingato. The film, which received Best Documentary Short at the Austin Gay and Lesbian International Film Festival, profiles Brockington’s life and experiences. Event includes a panel discussion with The Charlotte Royals take on the Nashville Grizzlies in their annual Prom filmmakers and community members following the documentary screening. Attendance is free, but advance Dress match. Tickets are $10. registration is requested online. charlotteroyalsrugby.com charlottelgbtfilm.com/events/.

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qnotes

April 24-May 7 . 2015

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AIDS Walk Charlotte SEP MAY MO Gateway Village 800 W. Trade St., Charlotte 8 a.m.-Noon The Regional AIDS Interfaith Network (RAIN) presents its 19th annual AIDS Walk Charlotte, the largest HIV awareness and fundraising event in the Carolinas. Information and registration available online or via email or phone. aidswalkcharlotte.org. info@aidswalkcharlotte.org. 704-973-9818.

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To see more upcoming events, visit goqnotes.com/calendar/

SEP APR MO

Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/

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life

OUR PEOPLE:

Q&A with Frank Kalian Longtime community leader, small business owner by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com And, of course, their way is the right way (laughs). Sometimes you butt heads, but everybody has the same aim — to make the community better as a whole. We tend to be more sensitive, I think, as LGBT people. Sometimes I think we just have to agree to disagree and just keep moving forward. It’s really just too much infighting when there doesn’t need to be. Frank Kalian, center, receiving the Charlotte Business Guild’s Teresa L. Davis Lifetime Achievement Award, standing with Guild President Chad Sevearance, left, and Davis, right. Photo Credit: Poprock Photography (poprockphotography. com) courtesy the Charlotte Business Guild.

You’ve seen him around — everywhere. He’s not one to take center stage or praise for himself, but Frank Kalian has been an integral leader and community member in Charlotte for nearly 30 years. His active support of the local LGBT community, and particularly the Charlotte Business Guild, where he served on the board for many years, recently earned him the Guild’s Teresa L. Davis Lifetime Achievement Award. The honor was bestowed at the Guild’s Giving Gala on March 21. Kalian has been involved with or served on the boards of several groups since about 1990, including First Tuesday, Carolina Celebration, the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte, Metropolitan Community Church of Charlotte, Prime Timers of Charlotte and the GayCharlotte Film Festival. Kalian, 68, has also owned and operated Sir Speedy on Caswell Rd. since 1985, when he moved to Charlotte from New York. Originally located on Morehead St., it’s been in its current location since 2003. Ironically, it was the growth of Carolinas Medical Center that prompted his move to Caswell, where Mercy Hospital and Presbyterian are growing again. Kalian, though, says he’s not worried this time around. We had the opportunity to catch up with Kalian and banter about his personal tastes and thoughts on community. You’ve been involved in the community for nearly 30 years. In all that time, how have you seen it change? It’s grown immensely. It’s been an amazing change, really, from where it used to be. You couldn’t hardly even say gay back then. We’ve also faced challenges. What’s the biggest? Unity. We’re so diverse. We have to start doing things together. We’re growing. We’re a highstrung group. It’s always been a challenge. You have a lot of strong personalities. Everybody wants to do the right thing, but their way.

Now, on the to fun questions… what’s your favorite color? (laughs) Turquoise. Wow (laughs). When I usually ask that question, people throw out boring colors like blue and orange. Why turquoise? I’m a Sagittarius. It’s kind of my color. I think it’s a beautiful shade of blue, a very calming, serene color. What’s your favorite kind of entertainment? Theatre. Any kind of theatre. I have a subscription to Theatre Charlotte, Actors Theatre, Blumenthal, Central Piedmont. Do you prefer the local theatre or touring theatre? They both have their merits. We have such great local talent in Charlotte. It’s really amazing. What’s your all-time favorite musical or play? “Follies.” When your not at the theater, what else might you be doing on an average weekend night? Everything. Movies, going to game nights, bowling, wine tastings. I love get togethers. Favorite food and dining experience? Italian would be my favorite and I like Portofino’s. What’s your favorite neighborhood and why? Plaza Midwood. It’s the diversity, the mix of shops and restaurants, the people and the whole atmosphere of it. I just absolutely love it.

What’s special to you or for the community about the GayCharlotte Film Festival? It’s a great experience, a great movie-going experience. These movies are not shown in regular theaters like AMC or Regal. They are made for us. It’s just great seeing these films in a group, laughing, crying or whatever together. This year, there’s a wide diversity of films. There’s something for everyone — the real story of Dog Day Afternoon or the real story of gay Germany in the 1930s, George Takei and, of course, the Blake Brockington doc. It’s all fascinating. I think it’s something Charlotte needs and something we’ll continue to support. : :

April 24-May 7 . 2015

qnotes

April 24-May 7 . 2015