QNotes, April 30, 2021

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April 30-May 13, 2021

inside this issue feature

April 30-May 13, 2021 Vol 36 No 01

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Joey Amato, Kendra R. Johnson, L’Monique King, David Aaron Moore, Natasha Morehouse, Julianna Peres, Chris Rudisill, Rev. Joan M. Saniuk, Gregg Shapiro, Trinity

front page

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charlotteobserver.com/1166/ a local news partner of The Charlotte Observer

orth Carolina General N Assembly Takes Aim at LGBTQ Community

10 Looking at the Past 35 Years

news

6 Two Suspects Arrested and Charged in Transgender Murders 8 North Carolina General Assembly Takes Aim at LGBTQ Community 8 HIV Prevention Grant Awarded to Dudley’s Place 8 Briefs 9 A Close Reading of Angela Davis 9 Gay Couple Denied Wedding on Basis of Religion

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Tell Trinity Exciteable Boy

life

A number of anti-transgender bills have been developed since the beginning of 2021. Three of these bills source from North Carolina. They are Senate Bill 514, House Bill 358 and Senate Bill 515.

Thankfully, one of the three, Senate Bill 514, has already been taken out of the realm of possibility.

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Empowering the Voices of the Black LGBTQ Community

Directed by Alicia Bell, Media 2070 is 100-page research paper about the history of U.S. media participation in anti-Black racism and discrimination.

Their goal is to bring awareness and seek reparations.

PAGE 15

by Christian Lee

12 In the Water 19 Our People: J. Michael Haithcock

views

5 The Epidemic of Violence Against Transgender People 14 The Impacts of Gentrification 15 Empowering the Voices of the Black LGBTQ Community 16 A Multi-Cultural Destination 18 A Rose by Any Other Queer Name

events

For event listings, visit goqnotes.com/events-calendar.

April 30-May 13, 2021

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April 30-May 13, 2021

views

The Epidemic of Violence Against Transgender People Political Voices

by Kendra R. Johnson, Equality North Carolina Executive Director Contributing Writer

W

e may be rounding the corner on the pandemic, but our most vulnerable community members remain under active threat. With Republican legislators targeting us in the halls of power and our transgender community increasingly unsafe in public, we all need to come together and protect those who need it most.

Last week, we learned that two of our Black transgender sisters in the Charlotte area, Jaida Peterson and Remy Fennell, lost their lives to acts of violence within just days of each other. These women are the latest victims of horrific anti-transgender attacks that are positioning 2021 to become by far, the deadliest year on record for the transgender community.

Three trans women have been murdered this year in North Carolina alone. And in an investigation conducted by the Human Rights Campaign, Charlotte was found by researchers to be the second-most dangerous city for transgender women in the entire country.

But the danger for the trans community doesn’t stop there.

Earlier this month, lawmakers at the General Assembly introduced a raft of transphobic legislation, banning gender-affirming care for people under 21, excluding trans women from sports aligning with their identity and allowing for a wide-ranging “license to discriminate” for medical providers. This push comes at the same time as a number of states have introduced similar transphobic legislation, including my home state of Arkansas, which has passed all three. These cruel bills are nearly all from the same sources

Jaida Peterson, left, and Remy Fennell, right, were the two transgender women killed in Charlotte earlier this month.

(Photo Credit: Human Rights Campaign) — organizations like ALEC, or the Alliance Defending Freedom ­— which give rough outlines of bills to states.

So make no mistake — ­ trans people in particular are under national attack. And this political climate feeds into already existing transphobia. Arkansas has seen a surge in suicide attempts after the passage of its bills, with many families considering leaving the state. Although the General Assembly has abandoned its ban on genderaffirming care, we know that many of these psychological scars can remain in our communities. And we know that hostility on the national and state level can embolden people to commit acts of violence.

The violence of these laws also couples powerfully with the dangerous effects of white supremacy in law enforcement. Black trans women in particular are subject to aggressive policing, which criminalizes their presence

in public spaces by equating them with sex workers.

Moreover, police regularly misgender and deadname trans women when they are killed — this occurred in two of the three murders so far this year in North Carolina.

These dangers necessitate a response from our community. We all need to stand up to protect Black trans women.

Along with Charlotte Pride, Campaign for Southern Equality and Transcend Charlotte, we’ve committed $10,000 to provide immediate emergency relief to Black trans women in Charlotte. And we’re challenging our supporters and allies to match those funds, to provide for the money to truly build a stronger, better future for Black trans women in the Charlotte area.

These donations will go directly toward the Black trans community and programs and organizations working to provide housing for transgender folks, including the House of Kanautica, Charlotte Uprising and Feed the Movement. These groups do vital work on the ground to fund and assist Black trans women, and more money will allow them to do more of their life saving work. You can donate to these organizations via our donation portal, at equalitync.org/CLTrelief.

To quote our Education Policy Director, Rebby Kern, “We’re calling on Charlotte’s community to come together to support and protect Black trans women — who deserve joy, celebration, and support.”

The rising tide of white supremacy has emboldened new levels of hate in our streets, and we need you to join us in supporting our trans family when they need it most.

We can work together to defeat bigoted bills and dismantle policing, and to build a better world where Black trans women can thrive.

Thank you for your support. : :

April 30-May 13, 2021

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Two Suspects Arrested and Charged in Transgender Murders Men Charged With Murder, Held in Charlotte Jail Without Bail

by David Aaron Moore QNotes Staff Writer

J

oel Brewer, 33, and Dontarius Long, 21, were both arrested April 16 and are currently being held in the CharlotteMecklenburg jail without bail.

Following the discovery of as-of-yet unspecified evidence by investigation authorities that pointed to the two men, they were arrested by the CharlotteMecklenburg Police Department’s (CMPD) Violent Criminal Apprehension Team, (VCAT) the Union County Sheriff’s Office and the Marshville Police Department.

According to the Charlotte Mecklenburg County Sheriff’s website, the two face extensive charges.

Brewer has been charged with conspiracy to commit robbery with a dangerous weapon, two counts of murder and possession of a firearm by a felon. He has an extensive arrest record of mostly petty crimes, however there are previously listed assault charges, charges of robbery and cruelty to animals.

Long is listed as being charged with

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Joel Brewer, left, and Dontarius Long, right, are facing charges of first-degree murder, conspiracy to commit robbery with a dangerous weapon and more. “first degree murder,” (the number of victims is not specified), conspiracy to commit robbery with a dangerous weapon and robbery with a dangerous weapon.

He has also had three outstanding warrants related to a previous felony sex

offender conviction, which included violation of probation and failure to report a new address.

The exact circumstances surrounding the murders of the two women is unknown, however theoretical evidence

suggests they were possibly targeted via websites or mobile apps for robbery.

Peterson, originally from Florence, South Carolina, had reportedly made her home in Charlotte for several years.

An internet background search revealed Fennell was likely from Cambridge, Massachusetts originally and later lived in Maiden, Mass., as well as Newport News, Va., before recently coming to Charlotte.

Both women were reportedly operating as sex workers at the time of their murders.

In an interview with CNN, Kerith Conron from the Williams Institute at UCLA, explained why he feels Black trans women are far too often victims of fatal violence.

“They’re Black, they’re transgender and they’re women. Each of those distinct identities means that they face discrimination, prejudice and inequities on multiple fronts.”

Kaniya Walker, a trans activist and former sex worker, explained the challenges and even fear trans sex workers cope with in a commentary piece she recently penned for the ACLU. see next page u

Sex workers face a high rate of violence, with transgender sex workers being particularly at risk.

(Photo Credit: Kamaji Ogino via Pexels) “Sex workers face high rates of violence because clients assume they can assault or rob sex workers and get away with it,” she wrote. “As a trans woman of color and a former sex worker myself, I know what it’s like to be targeted ... I’m lucky that I was never assaulted in my 12 years of doing sex work. I’m in the minority. But I have been robbed while working. My experience showed me the difficult situation that sex workers face when it comes to reporting. I wanted to seek justice, but I was too afraid of being arrested to go to the police station.”

Unfortunately, neither Jaida Peterson nor Remy Fennell had the opportunity to

seek help from the CMPD. Despite the fact Brewer and Long are being held in the Charlotte Mecklenburg County jail and will likely spend several years in prison following a conviction, the local LGBTQ community is still ill-at-ease as violence toward the trans community continues to escalate at home and around the globe.

“This is not the end of it,” Rell Lowery, a liaison for the Charlotte Black Pride Community told local ABC affiliate WSOCTV. “We want to make sure the fight continues. This is something they have to face, unfortunately, every day when they walk out the door. There’s a chance that they might not make it home safely.” : :

April 30-May 13, 2021

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news North Carolina General Assembly Takes Aim at LGBTQ Community

Even though we’re only five months into 2021, the U.S. has released a torrent of anti-transgender house and senate bills.

Three such bills in North Carolina are Senate Bill 514, the “Youth Health Protection Act,” House Bill 358 the “Save Women’s Sports Act” and Senate Bill 515, the “Health Care Heroes Conscience Protection Act.” Of the three, the very inappropriately named “Youth Health Protection Act,” (SB 514) as of April 20, is off the table. Republican Senate leader Phil Berger indicated the party will not attempt to move Senate Bill 514 forward. “We do not see a pathway to Senate Bill 514 becoming law,” said Pat Ryan, a spokesman for GOP Senate leader Phil Berger. “The bill will not be voted on the Senate floor.”

The bill, which was created to prohibit physicians from offering gender-affirming healthcare to children and any individuals under 21, included the loss of access to therapy, surgery, hormones and more.

Proposed by by Senators Ralph Hise (District 47), Warren Daniel (District North Carolina’s legislative building. (Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons) 46), and Norman Sanderson (District 3), Democratic Gov. Roy Cooper was expected to veto it, which led to the lack of support from Berger.

HB 358 (Save Women’s Sports) is the most infamous of the three laws and states the following: “All athletic teams for middle and secondary school students participating in interscholastic or intramural athletic activities conducted by a public school unit shall be expressly designated as one of the following based on biological sex: (1) Males, men, or boys (2) Females, women, or girls (3) Co-ed or mixed.”

Sponsored by Representatives Mark Brody (District 55), Patricia McElraft (District 13), Diane Wheatley (District 43) and Jimmy Dixon (District 4), this bill was introduced on March 22 and has already attracted clearly justifiable negative national media focus on North Carolina.

The “Save Women’s Sports Act” does not specifically dictate what teams would be available to transgender individuals, however, the words “co-ed or mixed” leave a clear-cut path for transgender students who want to be involved in sports activities. Whether that was an unintentional consequence or an intentional attempt at tossing a bone to centrist congressional representatives to capture is not known.

Regardless, the likelihood of any school creating all co-ed sports teams seems improbable.

The only bill that explicitly mentions religion, SB 515 (sponsored by the same creators of the now defunct 514), makes the claim that health care professionals may refuse service to transgender individuals on the basis of several personal opinions using the following sentence: “Whether such conscience is informed by religious, moral, ethical, or philosophical beliefs or principles.”

That statement, combined with the words from the bill below, would allow doctors, nurses and even psychiatrists to turn away LGBTQ patients, and potentially anyone targeted for discrimination based on personal prejudices and “teachings” in any book of religion, without fear of repercussions.

“It shall be unlawful for any person to discriminate against any medical practitioner, health care institution, or health care payer that refuses to participate in or pay for a health care service on the basis of conscience under this Article.”

If any of the two remaining active bills pass, their strongest and most immediate impact will dictate transgender youth’s transitions, legal action and education. Transgender students will be unable to play on gender-affirming sports teams, unable to receive gender-affirming medical treatments, and prevented from taking legal action against health care professionals who refuse to treat them. Considering transgender minors and their legal guardians have the autonomy to decide the best course of action, the legislation seems superfluous.

It remains unclear if Cooper’s veto could withstand a congressional override on these two, though the probability that any will ever become law, especially when considering the potential damage that could be done to the state and Cooper’s veto strength, is debatable. info: bit.ly/3tSzsUk — David Aaron Moore & Julianna Peres

HIV Prevention Grant Awarded to Nonprofit Dudley’s Place

A two-year-old nonprofit organization, Dudley’s Place, seeks to provide aid to those with HIV or AIDS throughout North Carolina. Headquartered at Rosedale Health and Wellness in Huntersville (103 Commerce Center Drive, #103, Charlotte Metro area), Dudley’s Place specializes in education, as well as prevention of HIV. The services currently offered by the nonprofit are nutrition/food assistance, support groups for HIV-positive individuals, transportation and provision of available resources. Dudley’s Place also acts as a partner to Getting to Zero Mecklenburg, an initiative that aims to limit the spread of HIV. Getting to Zero Mecklenburg’s mission statement reads, “We need community members to share ideas on how to best partner with their specific population to increase HIV/STI awareness and help reduce new cases. Our goal is to reduce the number of new HIV infections, in Mecklenburg County, by 75 percent in five years, and 90 percent in 10 years.” Grants such as the one provided to Dudley’s Place have been designed to do just that.

Dale Pierce, the Executive Director of Dudley’s Place says, “This CDC grant through Mecklenburg County will save lives in our communiThose with HIV or AIDS can visit Dudley’s Place to receive free ty. Dudley’s Place [is] looking for clients to participate in our PrEP program, medical care and medication. (Photo Credit: Anna Shvets via Pexels) which is free to community members who are uninsured or underinsured. Our program will cover all medical expenses and medication.”

The primary candidates for this PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) program are those who do not have HIV but are at a very high risk of contracting it. The Dudley’s Place press release explains, “Studies have shown that PrEP reduces the risk of getting HIV from sex by about 99 percent when taken daily. Among people who inject drugs, PrEP reduces the risk of getting HIV by at least 74 percent when taken daily.

PrEP is much less effective if it is not taken consistently.”

The nonprofit organization promises judgement-free care for those whose partners are HIV positive or who may be high risk for HIV because of a lack of insurance or access to medical care. Clients in the program will have access to onsite laboratory and pharmacy, mental health, nutrition, PrEP Navigator, benefit advocate and case management services.

For those interested in participating, call 704-977-2972 or email Dudley@myrosedalehealth.com. info: myrosedalehealth.com/dudley — Julianna Peres

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Briefs Charlotte Charlotte Pride Scholarship for LGBTQ or Allied Students Working to improve the financial hardships that graduating high schoolers or currently enrolled undergraduates may be facing, the Charlotte Pride Scholarship will award up to $2,500 per recipient. Applicants must submit SAT or ACT test scores, high school/ college transcripts, employment history, extracurriculars/community involvement, and either a short essay or original art piece.

The deadline is July 11.

info: bit.ly/3awijYO

North Carolina Transgender Initiative Gender Social on Zoom Taking place on April 26 from 8:00 p.m. to 9:30 p.m., the LGBT Center of Raleigh will be hosting a social event for gender expansive persons who want the company of like-minded individuals. Allies are welcome as long as they maintain the atmosphere of respect and trustworthiness. This virtual get-together will include games and conversation, with a promise to reconnect on the next monthly social that will also take place via Zoom on every fourth Monday.

With queries, email Kori Hennessey at kori@lgbtcenterofraleigh.com.

info: bit.ly/3tFTyB3

HIV Virtually Speaks on Jones Street Beginning at 9:00 a.m. on May 4, the North Carolina AIDS Action Network and the Southern AIDS Coalition will be making the virtual trip to the North Carolina General Assembly with participants welcome to tag along. The event will start with a briefing on public policy in regards to HIV and Hepatitis C (HCV) as it has affected North Carolinians in the past year. Elected officials will be available to speak with participants throughout the day via breakout meetings.

info: bit.ly/2P9GAMI

National New Jersey Passes LGBTQ Senior Bill of Rights LGBTQ and HIV-positive elders are now protected by law thanks to Senate Bill 2545 (SB 2545) was passed by Gov. Phil Murphy in March. The synopsis for this bill states its primary objects as follows: “Establishes certain requirements concerning rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, undesignated/non-binary, questioning, queer, intersex and HIV-positive residents of long-term care facilities.” Any facility pertaining to elder care will not be able to discriminate against any residents due to their HIV or LGBTQ status, including with bathroom and bedroom assignments, liberty to wear gender affirming clothing and proper pronoun usage.

info: bit.ly/3dHncju

Alaskan Government Denies Same-Sex Military Couples Benefits An article released by the Associated Press investigates the state of Alaska’s persistence of banning same-sex marriage benefits even after the Supreme Court legalization of such unions in 2015. “It is disturbing that it took five years and a federal lawsuit to force the state to follow the law and stop its discriminatory policy,” Caitlin Shortell, an Anchorage attorney and representative of several LGBTQ couples, stated.

info: bit.ly/3napxH3 — Compiled by Julianna Peres

A Close Reading of Angela Davis

Charlotte Pride is welcoming book lovers, academics and activists to join the Charlotte Pride Book Club. Launching April 20 at 6 p.m. and continuing to 8 p.m., meetings will take place on every other Tuesday via Zoom. There is no maximum number of members, and the potential for participation is not limited to a specific location or LGBTQ status. Everyone is welcome to contribute to the Book Club.

Each work selected will be discussed for a total of three months. The first piece selected by the Charlotte Pride Book Club is “Freedom Is A Constant Struggle: Ferguson, Palestine, and the Foundations of A Movement,” by Angela Davis, a legendary civil rights activist, author and lesbian who came out later in life at the age of 53, in a profile by Sara Miles in the Feb. 1997 issue of Out magazine.

“Freedom Is A Constant Struggle” was published in 2015.

It has been nominated for the NAACP Image Award for Outstanding Literary Work and featured on the required reading lists of several college courses relating to civil rights, political science and feminist theory. The Book Club website outlines that the foreword, introduction and first two chapters will be covered during the initial meeting. Each of the following sessions will feature two chapters at a time until a June 29 “wrap-up.”

The book is a series of interviews, speeches and essays curated by Davis, who focuses on the intersection between her identities as well as her international activist and academic endeavors. One of the book’s main emphases is on prison abolitionism; a contentious issue even amongst some of the United States’ most liberal individuals.

The connections between the queer, black, feminist and international communities allow Davis to reach a wide audience about a large variety of topics that are typically taboo to discuss.

In February 2020, at the age of 76, Davis presented a lecture to students and faculty at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte (UNCC) titled “Radical Resilience: Thriving in the Face of Oppression.”

According to UNCC’s Niner Times, Davis “mentioned topical issues like privatization of healthcare and environmental activism. She answered questions regarding colorism, academia, mental health, threats, surveillance, justice, how she got into activism, how to become an activist and her hair.”

Club members will be asked to weigh-in on the next read sometime before June 19. This second book will be featured by the Charlotte Pride Book Club beginning on July 13. For information on how to purchase the book locally, the Book Club suggest using the website indiebound.org. The Charlotte Mecklenburg County Library (CM Library) also has available copies. info: bit.ly/3du8pZx — Julianna Peres

Gay Couple Denied Wedding on Basis of Religion

The special events facility Highgrove Estate in Fuquay-Varina, N.C. has cited their “Christian beliefs” as justifiable reason for refusing gay couple McCae Henderson and Ike Edwards the opportunity to utilize the site for their upcoming wedding.

Having served the area’s community for almost twenty years, Highgrove’s reputation boasts beautiful ambience, polished decor and a perfect setting for picturesque ceremonies. These qualities are what drew newly engaged couple Henderson and Edwards to the company website.

After emailing the venue, the pair was stunned to receive the following message: “[O]ur owner has unfortunately chosen not to participate in same-sex weddings at this time. However, she wants to ensure that you still have the best wedding day experience possible, and has given me a list of several other wonderful venues in the area that may interest you.”

Should LGBTQ nondiscrimination laws be put into place in North Carolina, this kind of action would be illegal. As the current legislation stands, Highgrove may refuse service to any unprotected members of the LGBTQ community.

Although there are several positive reviews of the venue, the negative few are scathing and angry. A previous client posted online, “Vicky STILL refused to give me my money back, so we went to court.” Others mentioned unprofessionalism and unwillingness to accommodate guests’ needs. In response to the uproar from allies and the LGBTQ community, Highgrove Estate posted the following on their Instagram page: “Highgrove Estate desires that all people’s weddings be the most joyful in their lives. Highgrove also respects people’s differences regarding marriage. For this reason, we will always be kind and caring when these differences arise…although Highgrove…cannot deliver what is being requested as the company holds strong to its Christian beliefs.”

These words did not placate fiancés Edwards and Henderson who said, “I don’t think you get to be homophobic because your religion tells McCae Henderson and Ike Edwards you to be homophobic.”

This is not the first time North Carolina wedding venues have made headlines for refusing to host same-sex ceremonies. In 2020, a lesbian couple was turned away from a Winston-Salem venue on the basis of their sexual orientation. info: bit.ly/3du8pZx — Julianna Peres

April 30-May 13, 2021

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Looking at the

life

Historical LGBTQ Events From QNo

by Natasha Morehouse

June 1986 First qnotes issue is published

1987

1986

October 11, 1988 National Coming Out Day celebrated for the first time in U.S.

1988

1989

October 11, 1987 Estimated 200,000 activists attend second March on Washington, demanding President Reagan address the AIDS crisis

May 18, 2004 Massachusetts becomes first state to legalize gay marriage

2005

2004

2006

May 20, 2005 American Psychiatric Assocation votes to support governmentrecognized gay marriages

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August 18, 1990 Ryan White Care Act is passed, a federally funded program for people with AIDS

1990

December 10, 1989 Around 4,500 protestors gather outside NYC cathedral, participating in “Stop the Church” campaign organized by ACT Up and Women’s Health Action Mobilization

2007

August 9, 2007 First American presidential forum focusing on LGBTQ issues is held

2008

1991

January 1, 1992 World Health Organization no longer classifies being gay as a mental illness

1992

May 1, 1991 Visual AIDS organization creates red ribbon symbol to show support for those with AIDS

2009

2010

July 28, 2009 Matthew Shepard Act is passed, federal hate crimes now include crimes motivated by a victim’s gender identity or sexuality

1993

February 28, 1994 “Don’t ask, don’t tell” U.S. military policy created, intending to protect closeted gay people in the military

1994

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April 25, 1993 Third March on Washington has an estimated 1,000,000 participants

September 20, 2011 “Don’t ask, don’t tell” U.S. military policy is revoked

2011

2012

Am As list as

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May 8, 2012 North Carolina bans gay marriage

e Past 35 Years

otes’ First Issue to 35th Anniversary

All images are free to use through Creative Commons

e | QNotes Staff Writer

995

1996

August 2, 1995 Executive Order 12968 is signed, banning discrimination based on sexual orientation

September 21, 1996 Defense of Marriage Act is passed, defines marriage as a legal union between one man and one woman

1997

April 1, 1998 Coretta Scott King, widow of Martin Luther King, Jr., encourages civil rights community to support gay rights

1998

April 30, 1997 Ellen DeGeneres (and her TV character) comes out, making her show, “Ellen,” the first to have a gay lead

2014

June 26, 2013 Defense of Marriage Act repealed, gay married couples can now receive federal benefits

2015

October 13, 2014 North Carolina legalizes gay marriage

2000

2001

2002

2003

August 1999 Transgender Pride Flag is created by Monica Helms, a trans woman

May 18, 2013 merican Psychiatric May 30, 2014 ssocation no longer Medicare now covers June 26, 2015 ts being transgender gender reassignment U.S. legalizes gay s a mental disorder marriage in all states surgeries

013

1999

April 26, 2000 Vermont becomes first state to legalize civil unions and registered partnerships between gay couples

2016

December 15, 2016 First intersex birth certificate in U.S. is issued

2017

2018

June 12, 2016 July 26, 2017 Pulse gay nightclub Transgender people shooting leaves 49 are banned from the victims dead, making U.S. military it the deadliest act of violence against LGBTQ people U.S. history.

2004

June 26, 2003 Lawrence v. Texas, Supreme Court rules U.S. sodomy laws are unconstitutional

June 28, 2019 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots

2019

2020

January 25, 2021 Openly transgender people are again allowed to join the U.S. military

2021

June 15, 2020 Bostock v. Clayton County, Supreme Court rules LGBTQ people can not be discriminated against in employment

April 30-May 13, 2021

April 30, 2021 QNotes’ 35 year anniversary

qnotes

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life

In the Water

N.C. Natives Find Purpose in LGBTQ Work

by Chris Rudisill QNotes Contributor

N

orth Carolina is known for a lot of things — from its breathtaking mountain vistas to its sandy shores, and the myriad of cities and small towns in between. The state has a distinguished film industry and a long history of political drama. Celebrities like Andy Griffith, Michael Jordan, Nina Simone, Clay Aiken and even the Vanderbilts have all called this place home. The latter built the nation’s largest private residence here.

The geographical and political spectrum of North Carolina often mirrors

Madeleine Roberts

the experiences and stories of its LGBTQ residents and has its fingerprints on the national movement for equal rights.

Progressive havens have existed for years in Asheville, the Triangle and even Charlotte, but they have often been marred by the actions and words of folks like Jesse Helms and Franklin Graham, or the sweeping anti-LGBTQ House Bill 2, known as HB2 or the Charlotte bathroom bill.

That environment, however, might have also led to a surprising number of North Carolinians working at the national level, organizing for the equal treatment of LGBTQ people. According to Madeleine Roberts, the deputy press secretary for Human Rights Campaign (HRC), “I feel like (growing up here) did prepare me to do this work, because North Carolina is such a diverse state in every way.”

At the largest LGBTQ civil rights organization in the country, there has been a surprising trend in the number of North Carolina natives working for HRC. “We used to joke that we need a North

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Carolina employee resource group,” says Roberts. “There are a lot of us doing this LGBTQ work.”

Roberts, who uses they/them pronouns, moved to North Carolina at the age of four and returned to the state to work remotely at the beginning of the pandemic. “I think we’re really a great state,” they said. Speaking of HB2, they noted that, “we are so much better than that as a state, and the people who live here are not that. Knowing that really makes me love this state.” They note that the diversity perhaps taught them to better craft a message that can reach everyone, from rural to progressive counties across the country.

Roberts, a graduate of Davidson College, has been with HRC since 2017, when they started as a communications assistant after working at the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development.

While many others at the organization have hailed from North Carolina over the years, most notable today are Joni Madison, chief operating officer and chief of staff, and Don Kiser, the organization’s long-time creative director.

In a qnotes interview with former HRC Executive Director Elizabeth Birch, she said “there have been so many brave souls that have done real battle in North Carolina.” The work shows up in other ways, too.

For instance, Kiser’s coastto-coast marketing of the now ubiquitous HRC logo, the blue square with two yellow bars, has allowed millions of LGBTQ Americans and allies to show their support for equality.

According to HRC, the logo was the final touch on a complete reorganization in 1995 and its square design was determined

by Kiser’s research which discovered that it would cost just pennies to produce, compared with the traditional rectangular bumper sticker. “Before long, the HRC logo was as visible at pride celebrations and other LGBTQ events as the iconic rainbow flag.” He also led the organization in opening HRC “Action Centers”, promoting sociopolitical action by community members nationwide.

Before joining the staff at HRC in 2016, Joni Madison was a volunteer leader for 15 years, eventually serving as the co-chair of the HRC’s board of directors and executive director search committee. Today, she oversees and manages all operations, business functions and board relations, as well as manage HRC’s finance, human resources, diversity, general counsel, facilities and administrative functions. In an interview with McKinney, the national advertising agency with offices in Durham, N.C. where she served as COO for more than a decade before joining HRC, Madison said “when we think of home and our idea of home, what we long for is North Carolina.”

A History of Activism In the 1970s, gay liberation was spreading across the United States following the Stonewall Uprising. According to David Hooper Schultz, the Southeastern Gay Conferences, started by students of the Carolina Gay Association in 1976, “changed the Southeast by organizing one of the first public and open spaces for out gay men and lesbians to congregate.” Hooper Schultz’ master’s thesis from the University of Mississippi examined public history’s impact on LGBTQ+ southerners. “Rather than being ‘lonely hunters’ without political or social goals, queer southerners were in fact developing tactics to extend their rights and

Joni Madison

stake their claim to their homes in the Southeast,” states Hooper Schultz.

One cannot cover the activist history of North Carolinians without mentioning Mandy Carter. While born in New York, Carter was one of six co-founders of Southerners On New Ground (SONG) and is the co-founder of the National Black Justice Coalition — two organizations with strong N.C. roots. She has been here since 1982 and has, in the words of BLK writer Frankie Lennon, been “one of the few highly placed African American lesbians,” waging war against homophobia and organizing for racial justice and LGBTQ rights across the South. Other organizations, like Campus Pride and Faith in America, Inc. are based here in the state, not to mention the state-wide and regional equality organizations.

While this list in no way captures everyone, we have pulled together a quick look at other LGBTQ notables hailing from the Tarheel State.

Andrea Long Chu, born in Chapel Hill, N.C., is a writer and critic on gender and

culture. Her essay “On Liking Women” which was published in 2018 has been praised as “launching the ‘second wave’ of trans studies.” She has written for Boston Review, New York Times, Artforum, Transgender Studies Quarterly, among others and lives in Brooklyn, N.Y. James Credle, born in Mesic, N.C., is the former assistant dean of students at Rutgers University-Newark. A highly decorated Vietnam veteran and longtime LGBTQ activist, he helped found the National Association of Black and White Men Together, the Newark LGBTQ Center and served on the board of the Newark Pride Alliance. He still lives in Newark, N.J. Jimmy Creech, born in Goldsboro, N.C., gained national attention when, after celebrating the holy union of two men in Chapel Hill, N.C., he was found guilty of “disobedience to the Order and Discipline of The United Methodist Church” and was withdrawn from the ordination. Since then, he has traveled the country speaking about human and civil rights for LGBTQ people and was the chairperson of the board of directors of Soulforce, Inc. from 2000 to 2005. Creech helped create Faith in America with Mitchell Gold, a nonprofit that educates people about the harm of religious bigotry on LGBTQ people. In 2009, he was one of twenty-four activists who gathered in Dallas, Texas to discuss the immediate need for full equality for LGBTQ people the and coauthor of The Dallas Principles, a call to action intended to guide the civil rights movement.

Fred Davie, born in Belmont, N.C., has worked for the New York City Board of Education, former NYC Mayor Dinkins and served on the White House Council on Faith-based and Neighborhood Partnerships under former President Barack Obama. He was also part of Obama’s campaign and transition team in 2008.

Davie, who is married to SAGE Chief Executive Officer Michael Adams said he was fortunate to have friends and family members who were part of the LGBTQ community when growing up. In an interview with Gay Star News, Davie said, “I found my liberation as an AfricanAmerican man, as a gay man and as a person who grew up with modest means in liberation theologies and other social critique.” Today, Davie lives in New York and is the Executive Vice President of Union Theological Seminary.

Carter Heyward, born in Charlotte, N.C., is a feminist theologian and retired priest from the Episcopal Church. In 1974, she was one of the Philadelphia Eleven whose ordinations paved the way for the recognition of women as priests. Today, she is the founder and board member of Free Rein, a therapeutic horseback riding center in the mountains of North Carolina. see next page u

Justin Lee grew up in Raleigh, where he started the Gay Christian Network, the world’s largest LGBTQ Christian advocacy organization. He is the author of “Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays vs. Christians Debate” and “Talking Across the Divide.” Today, he lives in Orlando, Fla. where he heads Nuance Ministries and makes videos and blogs on a variety of topics for his website, GeekyJustin.com.

Toni Newman, born in Jacksonville, N.C., is an author and advocate for sex workers’ rights. Her book “I Rise – The Transformation of Toni Newman” was nominated for multiple Lambda Literary Awards and became the basis for a short film in 2017. Newman also worked with Equality California as a strategic fundraiser, volunteer recruiter and legislative aide. Today, she lives in San Francisco where she is the interim executive director of LYRIC, one of the first and largest LGBTQ youth centers in the country.

Jacob Tobia, born in Raleigh, N.C., has expanded understanding of gender through their work as an actor, writer, producer and author. After being interviewed by Laverne Cox as part of MTV’s

Renaissance. In addition to her philanthropy to LGBTQ organizations, Hampton marched in the first National Gay and Lesbian March on Washington and appeared in the films “Silent Pioneers” and “Before Stonewall.”

Michael Lynch (1944-1991), born in Harnett County, N.C., made a lasting impact on AIDS education and support. He is noted with pioneering “gay studies” in Canadian academia, helping launch several HIV/AIDS organizations in Toronto and for his writing on the HIV epidemic and the LGBTQ community throughout the 1980s.

Pauli Murray (1910-1985) was born in Baltimore, Md. but was raised by her grandparents in Durham, N.C. As an attorney, Murray argued for civil rights and women’s rights and wrote “States’ Laws on Race and Color” in 1950. Thurgood Marshall called the book, the “bible” on the civil rights movement. She was the co-founder of the National Organization for Women and later became an ordained priest in the Episcopal Church.

The Charlotte LGBTQ Bar Association is named after Murray.

Johnnie Phelps (1922-1997), born in North Carolina, was a member of the first Women’s Army Corps during World War II and later the National Organization for Women. She chaired the California Lesbian Task Force and spearheaded protests in defense of eight female crew members on the USS Norton Sound who were charged with “homosexual misconduct” in 1980.

Aimee Stephens (19602020), born in Fayetteville, N.C., was added to the National LGBTQ Wall of Honor within the Stonewall National Monument last year following her legal battle against a Detroit funeral home where she served as director before being fired for being transgender. Stephens died just a month before the landmark U.S. Supreme Court ruling that Title VII protections extends to LGBTQ people.

A Sense of Place Rev. Fred Davie

“The T Word” and profiled in a one-hour episode of “True Life: I’m Genderqueer,” Tobia published “Sissy: A Coming-ofGender Story.” The book is now being adapted into a forthcoming TV series for Showtime. Today, Tobia lives in Los Angeles and previously worked at the Astraea Lesbian Foundation for Justice.

Others From Our Past Blake Brockington (1996-2015) was born in Charleston, S.C. but moved to Charlotte at the age of 12. Brockington received attention as the first openly transgender high school homecoming king and advocated for LGBTQ youth, the transgender community and against police brutality until his suicide in 2015. Memorial services were held across North Carolina and in cities like Minneapolis and Washington, D.C. Mabel Hampton (1902-1989), born in Winston-Salem, N.C., was a lesbian activist and dancer during the Harlem

University of Mississippi Professor and essayist Jaime Harker says, that “’Sense of place’ has often been a traditional way of understanding the distinctiveness of the south, but feminist and queer geographers have shown that space is anything but natural; the organization and imagination of space is deeply implicated in existing power structures and ideologies.”

Some might say “it’s in the water”, but perhaps there is something more.

The intersection of these ideologies, not to mention, living in a state of beautiful diversity and possibility may just have something to do with North Carolinians leading the way for LGBTQ equality.

Growing up in this place that has such a varied political past, a Southern state – but somewhat different than the cliché, rich with heritage and faith.

According to the state’s tourism website, VisitNC.com, “When you visit the incredible beauty of North Carolina, you’ll be transformed back into your best self.” LGBTQ people here are sharing that transformation as far as you can see from those beautiful state vistas and beyond. : :

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The Impacts of Gentrification Local Realtors Discuss Challenges Faced by LGBTQ Communities

by Julianna Peres QNotes Staff Writer

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ll Charlotte-based realtors can agree that 2021 is truly a seller’s market. We’ve reached out to three LGTBQ realty agents based in North Carolina, who have offered their thoughts on affordable housing, the rise of young realtors, gentrification, buyer/seller interactions and the impact of market evolution on minority communities.

“The Charlotte market is becoming more diverse,” says Matt Stone of Stone Real Estate, a sixteen-year veteran in the business. “Used to be a southern town that was just opening its arms to outsiders, now the outsiders are absolutely welcome.”

Stone continues: “The industry is slow to adapt. More young folks, people of color and LGBTQ people are getting into the business, and my company is like entering a family. We now have three Spanishspeaking agents because our goal is to make everyone feel more comfortable.”

These values of inclusivity in the workspace translate also to Dawn Pugh of the Dawn Pugh Team and Zachary Harris of Charlottean Realty. Similar to their clients, each of these realtors have had different obstacles and differing experiences within the same geographic space; exemplifying the true diversity that buyers, sellers and realtors embody.

As any realtor can attest, Charlotte is facing a severe lack of unoccupied land and properties, coupled with an influx of real estate agents, as well as potential buyers.

“It’s a strong seller’s market. Almost all properties will have multiple offers, but in some cases a seller may be undeterred by the amount if their heart strings are pulled by a buyer’s letter,” Harris explains. “I can’t write these letters for the clients, it has to be heartfelt and from the buyers themselves.”

These so-called “love letters” are a somewhat taboo conversation piece within the real estate community. Their main purpose is for buyers to be able to humanize themselves in the eyes of the sellers; essentially acting as a personal es-

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From left to right: Matt Stone of Stone Real Estate, Dawn Pugh of Dawn Pugh Team and Zachary Harris of Charlottean Realty say might for a college application. “Love letters” are a way of saying that, despite not providing the highest bid for a property, the buyers would still take tremendous care of the home/land.

“If all terms were equal, a mixed race LGBTQ couple may not have the same advantage in a multiple offer situation as a cisgender Caucasian couple would, if both couples were to submit a “love letter” to the seller,” says Pugh. “Or a Caucasian lesbian couple may have an easier time than LGBTQ people of color or transgender people.”

Working with individuals or couples in minority communities requires an amount of attention to detail that includes the aforementioned “love letters.” Harris reflects on his early days as a realtor, saying, “Being in real estate as an African American male, I thought that most of my clients would be African-American like me, but that’s not the case. My clientele is 7585 percent immigrant families, including LatinX, Asian and Middle Eastern families.”

The wide range of identities within clientele means that several factors are taken into account when helping buyers find the perfect home. The first obstacle that comes into play is the buyers’ reactions to working with LGBTQ real estate agents. “My husband is mentioned in my

bio page,” Stone explains. “This weeds out people who wouldn’t be comfortable with the LGBTQ community. So we lose homophobic or racist clients before we’ve even met them.”

Pugh and Harris’ companies take a similar approach, but Harris stresses, “Acceptance has leap frogged a good bit.

There’s no distinction between gay and straight and black and white in certain establishments in Plaza Midwood. Certain aspects have improved; however, being an African American male and LGBTQ can make the world difficult to navigate because you are a ‘double minority.’”

Neighborhoods such as Plaza Midwood have grown socially to accommodate those of all races, religions, genders and sexualities; unfortunately, the lack of inventory has made it nearly impossible for these neighborhoods to expand physically. “Since I work primarily with investors, I’ve noticed that neighborhoods change over time from being places that people would not go to hang out to now having kids playing in the streets,” Harris observes. “The bad side of gentrification is that it has displaced a good bit of older persons of color.”

The idea of families being evicted or foreclosed upon due to their financial state is, tragically, nothing new. Solutions

that would allow these groups to remain in their residence are scarce and would have to involve a change in legislation relating to the housing market, as well as the economy. Of the state of gentrification, Pugh says, “Gentrification has been happening in Charlotte for longer than I’ve been in real estate. I have seen first-hand people taken advantage of by unscrupulous real estate industry professionals. People and families that want to stay in their homes should be able to stay in their homes, but they may not be able to due to a number of circumstances including property tax increases and property condemnation.”

As a potential solution to the current gentrification issue in Charlotte, Pugh offers this upside for individuals and families in their later years that might be misidentified as victimized: “We do have to consider that in some of the ‘hotter’ neighborhoods, families have been in their homes since the ‘60s and ‘70s. They made really great investments in purchasing their homes, but might not have a lot of money in savings. Sometimes, people want to sell their homes in some of the ‘hotter’ neighborhoods, move into newer homes outside of the city, and have money left over for retirement.” : :

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Empowering Voices of the Black LGBTQ Community

One Woman Shares Stories of the Past and Today, While an Organization Looks Toward Tomorrow

by L’Monique King QNotes Staff Writer

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s an undergraduate student and English major at University of North Carolina at Charlotte, Torie Wheatley fondly recalls taking a class on “Early African American Women Writers.” In that class, she and her fellow students read every first text written and published by a Black woman.

Among them were Phillis Wheatley’s book of poetry (Tori Wheatley doesn’t know if she is related to the author), Harriet E. Wilson’s novel, “Our Nig,” and “Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl,” by Harriet Jacobs.

Jacobs’ 1861 publication is the first slave narrative published by a Black woman. In the text, she tells the tale of her life. Using the pseudonym Linda Brent, she shares her experiences as a slave girl who attempts to escape brutality and sexual assault. In an effort to find some measure of comfort, she watches her children grow up through a tiny hole in the floor of a crawlspace-sized attic she spends seven years in, until she’s finally able to escape to the North.

As Tori and her fellow students delved into each of these riveting texts, she recalls how her professor consistently lamented the relevance of each text and how it connected to the erasure of the lives of Black women whose stories were either told or not told by those who did not share or care about their life experiences.

No longer a student, Wheatley, a Black lesbian and LGBTQ advocate, has become a teacher herself. She is currently working on a doctoral degree in Curriculum Instruction, with a concentration in Urban Education.

In speaking to qnotes about the importance of stories being told by those who live the experience, she passionately recalled her reaction to reading “Incidents…” and why it’s so important to allow folks to shape, control and share their own narratives.

institutions to make reparations “I remember feeling heartto the Black community and for broken for [Harriet Jacobs], but regulators and lawmakers to I also felt inspired because she make reparations for policies eventually escapes some of the that have baked inequities into traumas she endured. I think our media system.” metaphorically, the fact that she Queer and non-binary jourwas hidden inside that small nalist, advocate and project direcspace for so many years, like a tor Alicia Bell shared with qnotes closet, her story played out like a bit on the importance of the so many of the lives of those of project and how it relates to the us in the LGBT community today LGBTQ community. Bell stated who are often defined by others, that one of the reasons Media watching the world go by like she 2070 feels so important to her/ watched the lives of her children them is because of the way that go by through a hole in the floor. media stories create conditions “Her story is as complex as and lived realities. the intersectionality of so many She/they continued to say, LGBT people whose stories “Holding all of the intersections need to be told and need to be that we hold as people, when I told by those who live them. think about Black queer, trans There’s power in that. I just wish and non-binary folks, I think stories like those [told by the we deserve a world that cares people who lived them] were for us.” When asked why call more exposed and people didn’t the project Media 2070, Bell have to take a college course to explained how the project was experience them. That’s why, as a named in part to draw attention teacher, I feel like it’s my duty to to and “honor…how every 50 share them with my students and Alicia Bell is a community organizer and media-transformation doula. years there is some sort of govshare them completely, which ernment commission or popular includes LGBT folks. My students Under the direction of Alicia Bell, the organizing [effort] that connects need to see themselves in the Media 2070 project became the result of media and journalism to racial injustice. stories they read.” more than a year of information gathering “By 2070 we shouldn’t be having the Fortunately, the Media 2070 project and was built on the foundation of Juan same conversations that we’ve had for the has also taken up the charge from a González’ and Joseph Torres’ New York past 100 years. I think part of that future broader perspective, and then some. In Times bestseller “News for All the People.” means we live in a world where Black folks the 21st century, text is no longer the The essay is free and accessible at of all identities have the ability to stewonly vehicle of storytelling. Additionally, mediareparations.org. Within the first ard tenderly our stories from creation, to who presents the storytelling is just as few pages of the essay readers are given production to distribution. And we have a important as how they are told. This has “A Snapshot of Anti-Black Harms” perperole to play in the institutions and policies laid the groundwork for Media 2070, a trated by the media from 1704 to 2017.” that carry those stories. Because of that, it 100-page research essay detailing the As the essay unfolds, reports on how the [we need] an economy, a government and history of U.S. media participation in antipress has played a role in shaping human a media that cares for Black people.”

Black racism and harm. interaction and contributing to the opThe Media 2070 project, along with its As one might imagine, intersectionalpression of Black people is documented numerous contributors and supporters, ity also plays a role in oppression and through heinous devices such as racial dream of a day when “together, we can the fight for social justice. Like any race, profiling, erasure and discrimination. advocate for media institutions to make cultural or ethnicity, Black people are not All are noted through documented reparations to the Black community and myopic. Simply stated, all Black folks are statistical data, incidents, articles and for regulators and lawmakers to make not heterosexual, so racial discrimination advertising; a blight the essay aims to reparations for policies that have baked impacts the Black LGBTQ community with bring awareness to and seeks reparations. inequities into our media system.” intersectionality, often creating additional “Together, we can advocate for media So far, they’re off to a pretty good start. : : stigma, discrimination and inequality.

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A Multi-Cultural Destination Pride Journey: Atlanta

by Joey Amato Guest Contributor

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lmost everyone has been to Atlanta at some point or another. Whether for a conference or just passing through the Hartsfield-Jackson airport, the busiest airport in the world, Atlanta sees more than 100 million visitors per year. As the largest city in Georgia and one of the largest in the country by population, Atlanta has exploded to become an economic powerhouse.

Skyscrapers are popping up in many areas of the city and many Fortune 500 companies have a presence in the region. Of course, the city is known for their hometown favorites: Coca-Cola, Delta Airlines and Turner Broadcasting System, which was founded by none other than Ted Turner, whose name is everywhere in Atlanta. Turner has a downtown street named after him as well as 3 namesake restaurants — Ted’s Montana Grill — just in the Atlanta city limits.

Not too far from the downtown restaurant is Centennial Olympic Park, home of the 1996 Summer Olympics. The park is adjacent to three other incredible attractions: the Georgia Aquarium, World of Coca-Cola and National Center for Civil & Human Rights.

On this visit, I decided to first swing by World of Coca-Cola, which gives visitors a wonderful overview of the history of the

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The Atlanta skyline. (Photo Credit: Discover Atlanta) brand, talks about the secret formula and of course offers the opportunity to sample Coca-Cola products from around the world. If you time your visit right, you may even get a chance to take a picture with their mascot, the Polar Bear.

Next, I stopped by the National Center for Civil & Human Rights, a museum I had visited in the past. This time I was given a tour by the Executive Director for the LGBTQ Institute at the museum. Although the Center doesn’t have a specific LGBTQ exhibition, it does talk about the fight for LGBTQ rights throughout the years. The Center also houses the largest collection of papers and artifacts of Dr. Martin Luther

King Jr. and has recently expanded their offerings to include a human rights training program for law enforcement officials as well as Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) experiences for workplaces.

One of my favorite things about Atlanta is MARTA, their public transportation system. It is one of the most efficient and inexpensive in the country, easily connecting travelers from the airport to all parts of the city including Buckhead, where I was staying for this visit.

While the Buckhead neighborhood isn’t known for its LGBTQ nightlife, it is however known for its abundance of luxury shopping. Lenox Square is one of the most upscale malls in the country and boasts retail boutiques including Fendi, Louis Vuitton and Prada. Don’t forget to bring your credit card!

The reason I chose to stay in Buckhead is because I wanted to check out the brand new Kimpton Sylvan Hotel. The mid-century modern property is a short ride, or 20-minute walk, to the MARTA station and features a rooftop bar, daily social hour with complimentary wine as well as a 24-hour fitness center with Peloton bikes for those looking to work off some calories. Speaking of food, I would highly recommend the Charred Cauliflower + Cucumber from Willow Bar located just outside the hotel lobby.

The Kimpton brand is known for being one of the most LGBTQ-inclusive hotel brands in the country so whenever I have the chance to stay at one of their properties, I usually do. They are also a global partner of IGLTA.

This September, Atlanta will host the IGLTA Global Convention. The International LGBTQ+ Travel Association will welcome guests from around the globe to Midtown Atlanta for possibly the first in-person LGBTQ convention since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. Registration is now open through the IGLTA website. I’ve been to this convention numerous times and can’t wait to see all my friends and colleagues in the same room once again.

Midtown Atlanta is the epicenter of LGBTQ culture and nightlife in Atlanta.

There is no lack of bars and restaurants here. Some standouts include Joe’s on Juniper, Blake’s on the Park and My Sister’s Room, a two-story lesbian-owned dance bar which has become a favorite among Atlanta’s LGBTQ community.

The Midtown neighborhood is also known as the cultural hub of the city with over 25 different arts and cultural venues and more than 30 permanent performing arts groups residing in the area, including the Grammy-winning Atlanta Symphony Orchestra and the world-renowned High Museum of Art. Not too far away is Zoo Atlanta, an AZA accredited facility home to over 1,000 animals. Having a deep love for animals, I decided to take the elephant encounter, a one-hour experience that gives visitors a behind-the-scenes look at how zoo staff care for these majestic animals. During the program, we learned about the elephant’s behaviors and even had the opportunity to feed them. In this case, Tara was especially fond of the lettuce that I was giving her.

After touring the zoo, head over to Guac y Margys, an LGBTQ-owned restaurant located along the Atlanta BeltLine’s Eastside Trail. Everything I tried here was on point, from the house-made guacamole to the slow roasted pork tacos. If you are in the mood to sample a variety of different cuisine, check out Ponce City Market, located in the historic Sears, Roebuck & Co. building.

The indoor/outdoor market offers dozens of dining and retail options, including my favorite, Botiwalla Indian Street Food.

Atlanta is truly a multi-cultural destination that needs to be explored in its entirety.

Venture away from the tourist-focused neighborhoods and meet the locals. You are sure to find surprises around every corner.

To learn more, visit discoveratlanta.com. : :

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I Love Him, I Love Him Not Tell Trinity

by Trinity | Contributing Writer Dear Trinity, For the past two months I’ve been dating two men whom I really like. One is fun and exciting, the other quiet and charming. I can’t decide which one to keep! What do you think?

Thanks, Three’s Company, Philadelphia, PA

Dear Three’s Company, Live dangerously, but not so dangerously that you end up leaving a pool of heartbreak and sadness! If you’re a quiet, introverted type, then take Mr. Fun & Exciting. If you’re a socialite, then go with Mr. Quiet & Charming. Opposites make life more challenging and interesting. Now pumpkin, even if they both really like you, one must get burned, that’s life. So remember, the longer you wait, the deeper the burn.

Love, Trinity

To Trinity, My partner of seven years and I are having major sexual troubles. I’m going to ask him to try a threesome. I think this will bring the spark back into our relationship. Could this help?

Yours, Sparky, Seattle, WA

To Sparky, First, I must ask, have you tried couples’ counseling and creating more

Q-mmunity

connections

romantic experiences, especially in the bedroom, i.e. candles, music, a fireman’s uniform? If you answered yes then yes, a threesome may help bring the spark back home. However, make sure you are both attracted to the third. Hiring someone may be safer than picking someone up on Scruff or Growlr. This way baby, it’s all business rather than attracting a third problem, I mean partner!

Good Luck, Trinity

Dearest Miss Trinity, For the last few weeks I’ve been having dreams in which I die. Each time I die differently. I’m scared! I’m about to make out a will. What might this mean?

Sincerely, Nightmare, Houston, TX

Dearest Nightmare, Jeremy Taylor, the expert on dreams has many books out, but you’re in luck ‘cause I studied with Jeremy in California while getting my Masters of Divinity.

According to Jeremy, dying in dreams does not mean real life dying, it means change, transition, a deep fear having to be faced, a life changing experience coming before you. Your subconscious processes differently than your conscious thus dying in

a dream makes it easier for you to face a fear that you may not be able to face consciously. Now darling, on a different note, make out a will anyway, you should always have a will!

Dream fearlessly, Trinity

Hey Trinity, I just moved to DC and am going to my first gay party. I’m scared. Not of Covid but of meeting new strangers.

Yours, First Timer, Washington DC

Hey First Timer, Parties and group situations are challenging, I don’t care what Paris Hilton says. So honey, grab a dirty martini and start reading:

Trinity’s Winning Tips For Behaving at a Party

1. Dressing up for a party is not the same as dressing down to take out the trash.

2. Don’t arrive empty handed. Always bring, at least, a box of cookies!

3. When at a party you must act differently than you would at a funeral or a political rally!

4. When I’m nervous I pick up a food platter and start serving. In minutes I know everyone!

5. When you’ve had too much to drink, shut up and go for a walk! Please!

6. You need not pretend to be the life of the party, but you need to pretend you’re partially alive.

7. If you’re out to get your sexual needs met, you need not let everyone know this fact!

8. I f you need to comment negatively on everyone ,then you also need to be beaten to a pulp!

9. Drinking too much and driving is like… drinking too much and driving, dah!

10. The difference between group therapy and a party is, in therapy you tell everyone your problems and expect them to listen, at a party you tell everyone your problems and expect them to run away. : : With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com.

Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

space starting at $22: call qnotes for details 704.531.9988

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A Rose by Any Other Queer Name Spiritual Reflections

by Rev. Joan M. Saniuk Contributing Writer

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pring is in full flower in my yard… literally. The last purple blooms of the redbud have fallen to the ground, just as blossoms are bursting open on seven dogwood trees. Yellow daffodils give way to pink tulips, which are succeeded by red azaleas. I breathe in the sweet fragrance of lilacs and the delicate scent of lily of the valley. And this is just the beginning. This is what I’ve been waiting for over the cold, dark winter. The warmth and light of the sun are returning, and the earth wakes up shouting “Hallelujah!”

Too often, perhaps, we take the power of sunlight for granted. I think back a few weeks to Easter Sunday. My wife and I, and a couple dozen other stalwart souls, left home while it was still dark, headed for Jump Off Rock in Henderson County.

We held an Easter Sunrise service there where, for the first time in five years, the skies at this mountain lookout spot were perfectly clear. As we retold the ancient

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story of the dying and rising god, the first red rays of the sun shone on people’s faces. It makes sense, I thought, that the stories of Jesus’ disciples finding his empty tomb all take place first thing in the morning. Transformation, and new life, should manifest themselves in the light.

The fourteenth-century Persian poet Hafiz had this to say about the power of light (as translated by Daniel Ladinsky): How Did the rose Ever open its heart And give to this world all of its beauty?

It felt the encouragement of light against its being, Otherwise we all remain too Frightened.

It’s not always easy to open up our hearts, and give to the world all of our queer beauty, and that is a tragic waste.

The world is not complete without our beauty: without yours, without mine, without that of each and every person who, the Bible claims, is the living and breathing image of God. Could it be that we could use more of the warm, gentle encouragement of loving light? In my

Show the world your beautiful, queer self.

(Photo Credit: The Gender Spectrum Collection) belief system, faith should drive that light — the recognition of the divine light in each other. On a good day, at least, I strive to see, and be, that light,

to heal and affirm as Jesus did. On a good day.

There are faith communities, it seems, that can’t bring themselves to cast that light on queer folks. I pity them. Whatever god they serve, it is a god that I don’t recognize. Let me be clear: others have a God-given and Constitution-given right to disapprove of us. But they don’t have a God-given, let alone Constitution-given, right to treat queer folks as less-than.

Each of us is a rose with a heart full of beauty, and nobody has a right to force us to close it off.

So, if you feel that divine light encouraging your being, please: share your beauty with the world. Because your beauty will be the light that encourages someone else, and that will encourage still others, until all around us is beauty. And can’t we all use a little extra beauty right now?

P.S. To my Muslim siblings, thank you for the beauty of the Sufi mystics… and Ramadan Mubarak. : : The Rev. Dr. Joan Saniuk is Pastor of Sacred Journey Metropolitan Community Church in Hendersonville, NC.

Excitable Boy

An Interview With Gay Singer/Songwriter JORDY

by Gregg Shapiro Contributing Writer

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ORDY, the latest in the long tradition of mono-monikered performers in the music world — from Cher to Madonna to Beyoncé — gets up close and personal with listeners on his viral TikTok hit single “Long Distance.” The song, about the challenges of falling for a guy who lives far away, is the runaway song of the season.

JORDY, who has made the most of various means of viral video exposure throughout his career, is poised for stardom. A proud Pisces and out singer/songwriter, JORDY’s infectious enthusiasm and expressive vocals are a winning combination. The young performer was kind enough to take time out of an incredibly busy week in April to answer a few questions.

JORDY, I’d like to begin by congratulating you on your thrilling week, beginning with signing your first record deal with 300 Entertainment. What does such an accomplishment mean to you?

Oh, my gosh! Thank you so much, I really appreciate the kind words. To me, it means that we’re just going to keep working harder than ever. I’m gonna keep grinding harder than ever, and the hard work doesn’t stop. It also means that we have more people in my corner and we’re expanding the family. There’s going to be

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more hands on deck getting the music to more ears around the world. For that, I’m very, very excited.

In addition to your record deal, you also performed on the Today Show. What was that experience like for you?

Completely surreal. I grew up with the Today Show. [It was] one of those moments where my mother is like crying herself crazy. Very exciting for me and my family. It’s really cool to be able to see this little song I wrote on national TV. It’s pretty cool.

If your record deal and the Today Show performance and interview didn’t provide enough excitement for one week, your song “Long Distance” continues to grow in popularity. The song is especially notable for the out gay content of the lyrics. How important is it to you as a gay artist to maintain your identity in your work?

It’s literally essential. There is no alternate option. That’s how I’ve been doing it from the start. I was lucky enough to come out at an early age and have a super-supportive and loving family. I grew up in the Chicagoland area and felt really at home and welcome. I want to use that voice for those who feel that they don’t have the power to speak out yet.

I’m really glad you mentioned your family and their support. While you were still a student at Glenbrook

North High School, you and your mother did an interview about coming out that ran on the Your Teen Magazine website. Can you please describe what that experience was like for you?

Oh my God! I haven’t thought about that in a really long time, actually. My mom is the best! She is a huge reason why I am where I am. I think we had this opportunity to write this article from each of our perspectives. It’s special to have such a close relationship with her.

Her validation and support is definitely the reason why I’m so comfortable being who I am. I’m very lucky. She is the absolute best.

“Long Distance” already has an irresistible dance beat. Are there remixes in the works?

Yes, there actually are. There’s a remix out right now by one of my favorite DJs, Luca Schreiner. It is on Spotify, Apple, wherever you listen to music. It’s very fun and perfect for the dance floor.

Speaking of dance floors, what would it mean to you if “Long Distance” became popular with DJs spinning at tea dances this summer in gay hot spots including Key West, Provincetown and Fire Island?

Honey, go for it! All the way! That’s why it’s there. Please, by all means. That would make me the most happy.

When things return to normal and Pride festivities resume, would you perform at a Pride festival if you were invited to do so?

One million percent! I was supposed to last summer, and then COVID happened.

We’re very excited for Pride events.

Were you doing LA Pride or somewhere else?

I was doing LA and San Diego. We were excited and then everything happened. So, we’re excited for Prides to start up again.

I think that’ll be like a really great time for all of us to get together and have a really good time.

I agree. When do you think your fans can expect your full-length album to be released?

I think they can expect sooner rather than later. Maybe this summer! No dates in the works, but we do have an album.

You recently announced 15 fall tour dates, including one in your Chicago hometown. What are you looking forward to most about performing in concert?

I’m so excited. I did my first hometown show at Schuba’s last January and we sold out. We will be back on Nov. 27 at Lincoln Hall. We’re growing and we’re very excited.

Hometown shows are always the most special, so we’re looking forward to getting back out. : :

life

Our People: J. Michael Haithcock Stager of Homes, Communities and Love

I’d never been to Las Vegas or San Francisco, so I said yes.

We stayed in the Castro district.

I went to a club called The Phoenix that evening, saw this guy dancing on the floor, started dancing with him, and then talking with him. About 10 minutes into the conversation, I realized English wasn’t his first language.

My husband Francisco [Gonzalez] was visiting from Mexico City. He was visiting a friend of his who was HIV positive and not doing so well, so he was staying with his friend. During my stay, I ended up just spending time with Francisco. Lots of going out to eat, lots of miscommunication, lots of say that again and repeat that. Looking back now, it’s all very quaint and sweet though at the time it was a bit frustrating.

After we spent three days together, and it was time to go, I wanted to keep in touch. He gave me his address and a neighbor’s number [because] he didn’t have a phone.

So we arranged times to call each other and write to each other for over a year. Eventually… I invited him to visit me in the U.S. He arrived June 22, 1995 on a Monday with a little suitcase and never returned.

by L’Monique King QNotes Staff Writer

R

eal estate stager J. Michael Haithock’s family moved to Charlotte when he was just 14. He’s been a Charlotte resident ever since. Five years ago he and his husband Francisco sold their south side home for a 1967 brick ranch in East Charlotte. Together for 27 years, their lives have been a whirlwind of romance, immigration issues, working together, surviving the COVID-19 pandemic and giving back to the community through efforts like volunteering with the “Adopt A City Street” clean-up program run by “Keep Charlotte Beautiful,” where he was previously a board member.

What exactly is a stager?

A stager [is a person who] prepares a home for selling to make it presentable and to make an impression on whomever comes there, [so] they could see themselves living in the house, or the condo or AIRBNB. Typically, we stage houses, condos and townhomes; occupied and unoccupied. I once staged an occupied house where there were three kids all being homeschooled in the dining room. So we made that space into a dining room again.

Staging helps sell a house quickly and generally helps the seller get more money; when everything aligns right, the price, the location in addition to the staging. It’s a great satisfaction to me. I You can spend a few hours or half a day, and when you’re done, you look at it and think, this is my canvas of art. [I’ve thought] get your pictures now, because it’s not going to stay like this.

It sounds a bit like decorating.

It is, but it’s more than that. If it’s an occupied staging, we take furniture out, declutter and take things out of the basement. You fix a room and then say, don’t touch it.

Stylistically, what’s trending right now?

Definitely clean lines, a contemporary modern feel.

Millennials are the buyers right now, and all good staging is minimalist. But you have to stage according to the house. You try to decorate with the style of the house to a degree. The house and the price of the house will dictate what you use. A house $550,000 and above will call for a different kind of furniture, something more high end.

Has the COVID-19 pandemic impacted your business?

Yes, it has; it was like a domino effect, cancellation after cancellation. That was rough because I had been selfemployed since 2003 and doing okay. If I did hit a rough patch I found an extra gig. When I wasn’t doing staging, I was still helping people decorate their houses. Never had to borrow money, we just sacrificed and pushed through. But this was a different ball game. COVID meant I wasn’t working for my clients anymore. It was,

and is, a little nerve-racking. Nothing has gone back to normal, not for me unfortunately.

How are you managing?

SBA loans, unemployment and temporary assignments.

One [temporary assignment] was actually for a call center with the Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce. They were reaching out to small businesses to see how they could assist them. But that was only temporary. I’ve been lucky to have a few staging jobs come in, but it’s still rough.

How have you been staying sane through it all?

I’ve been singing since I was knee-high to a grasshopper. I’ve sung professionally, and I’m a huge Frank Sinatra fan. So, singing, zoning out by working in the yard and community service.

Giving back helps because you’re not focused on yourself.

Focusing too much on yourself is what causes stress.

What’s collaborating with your husband as a co-worker like?

We get along well. He’s dependable, trustworthy and reliable. There’s a security and comfort to working with him.

Will you share with qnotes readers how you met?

We met on Valentine’s Day. It was a Wednesday in 1994 in a San Francisco club. When we met, I was not supposed to go to San Francisco. I went because a friend of mine planned to take his boyfriend to Las Vegas and San Francisco as a surprise. Three weeks prior to the trip the boyfriend broke up with him. My friend, George, didn’t want to waste the tickets and asked me if I wanted to go.

Wow! What a love story.

It is, though for the first 20 years he was an undocumented citizen which made things very stressful. In 1998 he started the process of becoming an artist. An opportunity he didn’t have coming from an impoverished town in Mexico City.

He took a printmaking class with a woman at Spirit Square who later opened her own gallery. So, he went from Spirit Square to the gallery and later became a print maker, and then a gallery exhibitor with solo and group shows showing at The Mint in Charlotte, New York galleries and many others.

When did you get married?

When the [initial] rumblings were going on about samesex marriage. At this point we had already been together 20 years. We knew that we didn’t necessarily need to prove anything, but we did it mainly because we wanted legal rights while living together. Medical things, the same things that are afforded to straight people, but also because marriage afforded him citizenship. We were married in Maryland on February 14, our 20th anniversary. When we came back to Charlotte we immediately started the process for him [to] become a citizen. That took a lot of time, in addition to a lot of money.

The documentation of all the work and giving back he’d done helped. Francisco finally became a citizen on August 19, 2019.

Inquiring minds who read qnotes want to know, what’s your secret for such longevity?

We’ve all heard it said before, but we’re good friends. I think respect, good friends and kindness [are the keys to longevity]. I never had any doubt that it would work because all of it just felt right. All of the boyfriends I had before him, which weren’t very many, were basically just a dress rehearsal. : :

April 30-May 13, 2021

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April 30-May 13, 2021