QNotes, May 15, 2020

May 15-28, 2020

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May 15-28, 2020

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May 15-28, 2020 Vol 35 No 02

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charlotteobserver.com/1166/ a local news partner of The Charlotte Observer

Taylor Made

Award-winning actress Holland Taylor is one of those featured in the Netflix/ Ryan Murphy mini-series ‘Hollywood.’

She shares her experiences in the show business world and her role in the series.

news

contributors this issue

Mykah Buff, Vic Gerami, Tonya Jameson, Jack Kirven, Lauren V. Lewis, Lainey Millen, Jesse Monteagudo, Chris Rudisill, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Gregg Shapiro, Trinity

Place to Call Home

5 Biden Wins Ohio and Kansas Primaries 6 COVID-19 Highlights Pride Groups’ Relationship 6 In Memoriam, Part 3 7 Couple Gets Day in Court 7 Real Estate Report Released 7 News Briefs 8 HRC Rallies Behind Biden

a&e 15 Taylor-Made 16 Tell Trinity 19 Out in Print: ‘Good Boy’

life 4 Celebrities Support Launch of #YouAreEssential 9 Restaurants Cope with COVID-19 12 Non-Profits Seek Support 17 Health & Wellness: Coping with Change 19 Our People: Dr. Jay Hreiz

views 5 14

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Non-Profits Hit Hard by COVID-19

Area organizations have been challenged due to the coronavirus’ impact on their fundraising efforts and are working to offset those shortfalls in inventive ways.

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Pride Organizations Collaborate on News

Charlotte Pride and Charlotte Black Pride partnered on their joint announcement that their annual festivals were being canceled for 2020.

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Coronavirus Journal Part 2 Legal Eagles: Divorce

events Our calendar will return once events begin again.

BE PART OF THE PROCESS PARTICIPATE IN THE 2020 CENSUS AND get COUNTED 2020 census.gov

May 15-28, 2020

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Celebrities Support Launch of #YouAreEssential Campaign Will Help Fund Grassroots Organizations Affected by COVID-19

BY Vic Gerami | Guest Contributor

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owerhouse media personality Ashlee Marie Preston has partnered with creative agency Revolve Impact to launch You Are Essential (YAE), a social impact campaign and national relief fund that awards grants to grassroots organizations and mutual aid networks working directly with vulnerable communities disproportionately impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic. “#YouAreEssential was launched with the understanding that the most vulnerable people within our society are often doing the most vulnerable work; while lacking adequate resources to help sustain their efforts — presenting barriers to progress for them and those they serve.

No one knows what vulnerable communities need more than those who have been carrying grassroots movements on their backs and of course individuals living along the margins long before this pandemic,” said Ashlee Marie Preston.

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Preston, a renowned award-winning media personality, cultural commentator and civil rights activist is often at the forefront of grassroots activism. She is historically the first transgender woman to become editor-in-chief of a national publication and the first openly transgender person to run for state office in California.

Preston was named one of The Root 100’s “Most Influential African Americans of 2017,” profiled as one of LOGO/NewNowNext’s 30 Most Influential LGBTQ Influencers of 2017 and 2018, PopSugar’s top 40 LGBTQ’s of 2017 and OUT Magazine’s OUT100 of 2018 made her TED talk debut in September of 2018 and was chosen as one of Coca-Cola’s “Next Generation LGBTQ Leadership” influencers of 2018. Also, she was honored as one of Essence Magazine’s “WOKE 100” of 2019 and is a former national surrogate for Elizabeth Warren’s 2020 Presidential Campaign.

“My vision for the #YouAreEssential campaign was to center and support those at greater risk of losing their jobs, housing

and even their lives — and to expand our definition of what it means to be ‘essential,’” she added.

“We want to include everyone willing and able to help protect vulnerable communities independent of their socio-economic status,” she continued. “Your occupation and income bracket aren’t what make you valuable; kindness and compassion are.

We are essential to someone else’s wellbeing and they are You Are Essential’s Ashlee Marie Preston has launched a campaign to essential to ours.” help fund organizations that have been affected by COVID-19.

The organization’s objective is make contributions to the fund and are to inspire crossslated to appear in an upcoming video cultural, collaborative efforts that yield series in support of the campaign. abundant resources, resilience and Microgrants range from $250 to reignite hope in a time of despair. Funds $5,000. Microgrants do not typically raised will help combat food insecurity, exceed $5,000 and are specific to identifihousing instability and barriers to access able need(s). However, applicants may encountered by the elderly, disabled, also apply for an amount not listed in the immunocompromised and the deeply application for the review committee’s marginalized. consideration. A diverse body of individu“Revolve Impact is honored to be als will evaluate applications and base working on #YouAreEssential, a critically their decisions on urgency and need. important campaign and emergency Other key organizers of the fund to support mutual aid networks #YouAreEssential campaign include singer and grassroots organizations on the and songwriter Justin Tranter, writer and frontlines of this unprecedented crisis. producer Taj Paxton and Rogers and #YouAreEssential will ensure that organiCowan PMK senior vice president of multizations doing lifesaving work in the most cultural communications, Stephen Macias. vulnerable communities are supported #YouAreEssential is an initiative of and resourced,” said Mike de la Rocha, coAccelerate Impact Fund, a sponsored profounder and CEO of Revolve Impact. gram of the Social Impact Fund, a 501©3 Actress, producer and author non-profit organization. All donations are Gabrielle Union and basketball star tax-deductible and can be made there.

Dwyane Wade were among the first to For more information, visit make a generous donation to the cause.

YouAreEssential.org. : : Other notable figures have pledged to

news

Biden Wins Ohio and Kansas Primaries

Primary Watch: 2020 Primary Season to Linger on Amid Pandemic and Biden Appoints Openly-Gay Campaign Manager

BY Mykah Buff | QNotes Staff Writer If one thing is true of the 2020 Democratic primary elections, they are sure to leave a mark in U.S. history as being one of the longest and most drawn-out primary elections the country has ever seen. Voting delays are now considered the norm. As of press time, a total of 18 U.S. states have postponed their primaries due to the health concerns of COVID-19, with Pennsylvania, New York, West Virginia and New Jersey recently being added to the list.

Ohio’s primary elections were originally scheduled to take place on March 17 but were postponed just hours before voting polls were to open in response to the public health crisis brought on by the novel coronavirus. In an effort to combat the spread of COVID-19, Gov. Mike DeWine changed the date for all in-person voting in Ohio to be carried out on June 2 but this was eventually changed to a mail-in-only voting system as a result of a statewide stayat-home order.

The Ohio primaries began around mid-February with early voting and accepted ballots up to Tuesday, April 28 with former Vice President Joe Biden winning the majority vote by more than 72 percent.

Following his win in Ohio, Biden took the Kansas Democratic primary winning 76.9 percent of the vote. Sen. Bernie Sanders, who susspended his campaign shortly after the Wisconsin primaries and is now endorsing Biden, won 23.1 percent, positioning him as the only other eligible candidate for delegates to the Democratic National Convention.

Kansas primaries had mail-in voting from March 20 through April 24 but also had in-person primaries on May 2 using party-run ranked-choice voting. On that day, Kansas became the first and only state so far to have in-person voting amidst the coronavirus pandemic. It was also the first

Former Vice President Joe Biden is closing in to a nomination with two more state primary wins in his back pocket.

(Photo Credit: Gage Skidmore via Wikimedia Commons. CC-SA-2.0 Generic license.) primary for Kansas, as the state’s previous elections have traditionally been carried out through caucuses.

The Kansas Democratic Party congratulated both Biden and Sanders for receiving delegates from their state. “The KDP offers its congratulations to former Vice President Joseph Biden and Sen. Bernie Sanders for receiving delegates from the Sunflower State,” Kansas Democratic Party Chairwoman Vicki Hiatt said in a statement. “Kansas

Democrats made history in this election with record participation levels along with demonstrating how a vote-by-mail election can protect voters and our Democracy, even in the most uncertain of times,” added Hiatt.

With Joe Biden being the presumptive Democratic nominee in the upcoming race against Donald Trump, he is gearing up for battle and recruiting political servicemen and women to be part of his campaign squad. In addition to recently approving a team of new hires to help coordinate the virtual side of his campaign, Biden recently selected Rufus Gifford to be his deputy campaign manager, who was one of seven openly-gay U.S. ambassadors during the Obama Administration as well as having served as a high-profile fundraiser for the Democratic Party.

According to The Washington Blade, campaign officials stated, “As Gifford’s deputy campaign manager focused on Gay former Obama adminfinance, external outreach, istration ambassador Rufus and coalition building, Gifford has joined the Biden Gifford is charged with campaign for president. focusing the intersections (Photo Credit: public between finance, policy domain via Wikimedia and political work and Commons) occasionally serving as a Biden spokesperson.” : :

Coronavirus Journal Jesse’s Journal

BY Jesse Monteagudo | Guest Contributor

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ecently, I took a break from my COVID-19 lockdown and drove up Wilton Dr. South Florida’s queer Main Street looked sad and forlorn, and unusually empty. Three months ago, the Drive was a teeming thoroughfare, full of bustling bars, restaurants, shops and art galleries as well as people walking, running, biking, shopping, eating, drinking, dancing or cruising.

Now the shops are closed, restaurants are only open for takeout and the few people you see on the Drive are walking, running or biking for their health. Though the change was heartbreaking, I realized that it was necessary to protect us from a virus that threatens our very lives. I sighed, picked up a copy of SFGN from a nearby distribution box, and returned to the refuge that I call home.

Much has been written about life under COVID-19; a pandemic that forced humans to give up most of what we took for granted and retreat to our homes. Those who cannot do so are the people who provide essential services or work tirelessly to heal the sick or to keep us safe. For the first responders and frontline warriors in the battle against COVID-19, I have nothing but gratitude, respect and admiration. For myself, like most everyone else, I limit my outdoor excursions to shopping trips, daily walks for exercise and an occasional drive. I practice social distancing and wear a makeshift face mask made up of a “Play Safe” bandana left over from the 1980s and two rubber bands

that I use to hold it around my ears. My social life is mostly limited to phone calls to and from relatives and friends, though I make an exception for occasional visits to and from my boyfriend, Ron Farago.

Unlike many of you, I currently live alone, without a partner, roommate or even a pet. However, I managed to avoid much of the lockdown culture that seems to have emerged to save most pandemic shut-ins from the consequences of cabin fever. Though I signed up for a couple of apps, TikTok is not one of them: I am certain that human-

ity does not need to see me sing or dance at home in my underwear (or less). Nor do I subscribe to Netflix, though I might eventually do so considering all the good movies and shows (LGBTQ or otherwise) that service provides. But if I do, I will try my best to avoid “Tiger King” which for some reason has become the runaway hit of the Age of Coronavirus. Joe Exotic seems to be one of the most disgusting people around, even if he is gay, and his exploits are not worth celebrating with a television show. But even Joe Exotic’s antics are preferable to Donald Trump’s daily press briefings, exercises in narcissism that Trump uses to replace his beloved MAGA rallies. The same goes for Trump’s avid follower, Florida Gov. Ron Desantis, whose incompetence almost equals that of his idol. On the other hand, I was favorably impressed

by Dr. Anthony Fauci, whom I remember for his work during the height of the AIDS epidemic, scarf lady Dr. Deborah Bix, and New York State Gov. Andrew Cuomo, humanized by this pandemic.

Life goes on, even with COVID-19 upon us. We just must do what we can, in order to stay healthy. Though I miss the good old days, only a few months ago, I disagree with right-wing activists and politicians who want to return to business as usual right away. It is better to be safe than sorry. Stay on the right path and hope for better days. : : This is a continuation of an op-ed that appears on qnotes website at goqnotes.com/65522.

May 15-28, 2020

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COVID-19 Highlights Relationship Between Charlotte Pride Groups Public Collaborative Statement Shows a More Unifed Community

By Tonya Jameson | QNotes Contributor

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n April 28, Charlotte Pride and Charlotte Black Pride issued a joint statement canceling this summer’s Prides. The statement was not a surprise, but the fact that the two organizations issued it together was noteworthy.

For years, Charlotte Pride and Charlotte Black Pride have quietly collaborated and supported each other’s events. Many in Charlotte’s LGBTQ community saw the groups as two seperate entities with little overlap.

“I don’t know why people feel like we don’t get along with Charlotte Pride, that we’re at odds,” said Charlotte Pride Chair Shan Fulton. It’s not that way at all. We work well together.”

Organizers issued a joint statement because this year, the two Prides were scheduled about week apart. Charlotte Pride moved to the first weekend in August to accommodate the Republican National Convention happening later that month.

“As we were looking ahead at the COVID-19 crisis, we knew that if one of us made an announcement without the other, the other would be inundated with questions,” said Jerry Yelton, Charlotte Pride director of programming and development.

Most of the organizations’ leaders were not involved 15 years ago when Charlotte Black Pride started and when Charlote Pride was tucked away in Gateway Village.

Recollections about why Charlotte Black Pride began differ among people who were leaders back then. One thing is clear; however, black gays and lesbians here wanted a celebration that recognized black culture, faith and social justice.

Jermaine Nakia Lee said he and other founders of Black Pride approached Charlotte Pride organizers multiple times in the early 2000s about programming that would make Pride more reflective of the city’s growing Black LGBTQ population.

“There was no black and brown programming at all,” said Lee, a current Charlotte Black Pride board member.

Monica Simpson, another Black Pride co-founder, worked at the now-defunct Lesbian and Gay Community

Center of Charlotte and qnotes back then. Simpson said there was division among race and age at the time.

“When we were coming up the city was so divided. The lines were so clearly drawn,” Simpson said. “I remember the voices of young people were not wanted at the table.”

When Charlotte Black Pride launched in 2005, it featured a weekend of live musical performances, theater, dance parties, workshops an interfaith and more.

“They built something amazing. As young people, they took it an ran,” said Sacred Souls United Church of Christ Bishop Tonyia Rawls. “There was a hunger for community, there was a hunger for a black experience for them in terms of the ways that we would do a Pride.”

David Moore was editor of qnotes back then and a senior advisor for Charlotte Pride in 2006. He acknowledged that the LGBTQ community, like society at large, has a variety of ‘isms;’ however, he thought Black Pride began because organizers wanted to celebrate black culture.

“The people that I worked with were a broad spectrum of the community and there was always an effort to be inclusive. We wanted everybody to be a part of it,” Moore

said. “I never got the feeling from that period of time that there was anything that would have made anyone feel not welcome. I can’t address what came before that because I don’t know.”

He was glad to see the two groups working together now.

“We’re looking at a younger generation of people that are more broad-minded and don’t necessarily think in terms of the difference in culture, but how they can help each other and how they can add culture distinctiveness to each other.”

In those days, Rawls was the pastor of Unity Fellowship Church Charlotte. Many of the Black Pride founders and volunteers attended her church on Eastway Dr. “I’ve been so excited to see how this evolved,” Rawls said. “Of course we should all be presented as one with the opportunity for each group’s unique efforts to also be recognized and celebrated.”

The COVID-19 statement quietly signaled the shift that has occurred between the two organizations. The current leaders want organizations that reflect the rich diversity of this city.

The relationship began five years ago with Reel Out Charlotte, the LGBTQ film festival. Initially, Fulton said festival organizers asked them to volunteer, but that conversation grew into a night at the showcase. Since then leaders of the two Prides have attended InterPride conferences together. Lee said Charlotte Pride shares information about resources and is a community sponsor for Black Pride.

“Yes, there’s some history, but it’s history, it’s not how we work together,” Yelton said.

Fulton added, “It’s important as a part of the community and as community leaders to bridge gaps and find ways to work together for the benefit of the overall community.”

The pandemic’s decimation of marginalized communities shows why we need these bridges now more than ever. The Prides’ joint statement highlights a relationship that few knew existed, but was long overdue. We need each other. : :

In Memoriam: Part 3

The Community Continues to Mourn COVID-19 Losses

BY QNotes Staff Robert “Bob” Barnum Gay rights advocate, philanthropist and real estate agent, Bob Barnum died on March 27 in St. Petersburg.

He was 64 years old. He was an ardent supporter of the arts and once served as an adjunct professor at the University of South Florida.

Equality Florida CEO Nadine Smith told Watermark, “He was a generous supporter of Equality Florida in our early days and he was a passionate advocate for survivors of domestic violence.”

Kious Kelly New York City assistant nurse manager Kious Kelly died on March 24 in New York City. He was 48 years old. Kelly was likely the first NYC nurse to die of the coronavirus and is said to have brought empathy and joy to

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his job. Born Marion James Smith IV, Kelly graduated from Butler University in 1993 and originally went to New York to become a dancer. Andy Humm, a board member of New York’s New Alternatives for Homeless LGBT Youth, recalled Kelly checking in on a young man getting treatment at Mt. Sinai West and showing up “with a rainbow pin and a calm, caring manner.” Humm wrote in Gay City News, “He was an angel to this troubled, homeless African-American kid.”

Shannon Bennett Sheriff’s Deputy Shannon Bennett died on April 3 in Ft. Lauderdale, Fla. He was 39 years old. A 12-year veteran of the Broward Sheriff’s Office, Bennett was described as “an out and proud gay law enforcement deputy; a school resource officer who protected and mentored the young students at Deerfield Beach Elementary; a man in love to be wedded later this year” in a tweet by the department. In the aftermath of the 2016 mass

shooting at Pulse in Orlando, Bennett reportedly parked his police cruiser outside LGBTQ establishments in Wilton Manors, Fla. to reassure patrons of their safety.

Roy Horn Roy Horn, one-half of the popular Las Vegas act “Seigried and Roy” died on May 8. He was 75 years old. “Roy was a fighter his whole life including during these final days,” said long-time performance partner, Siegried Fischbacher, in a statement. The two had one of Vegas’ longest running and most successful shows until 2003 when Horn was mauled onstage by a white tiger. Fischbacher went on to say, “Today, the world has lost one of the greats of magic, but I have lost my best friend.

From the moment we met, I knew Roy and I, together, would change the world.”

Photo Credits: Facebook and Broward Sheriff’s Office

BRIEFS Southern history project nets award

S.C. Couple to Get Day in Court GREENVILLE, S.C. — A U.S. District Court has denied an effort by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) and the state of South Carolina to dismiss a lawsuit filed by Lambda Legal, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), the ACLU of South Carolina and South Carolina Equality on behalf of a married lesbian couple, Eden Rogers and Brandy Welch. The couple was turned away by a government-funded foster care agency because they, as a lesbian couple, did not meet the agency’s religious criteria, which excludes prospective foster parents who are not evangelical Protestant Christian or who are same-sex couples of any faith.

“We are very excited to hear our case is going forward in court. There are many children in South Carolina that need foster homes, and we remain hopeful that couples like us can provide children a lovely home without being rejected or discriminated against,” said Rogers and Welch.

Miracle Hill Ministries, South Carolina’s largest state-contracted foster care agency, denied the couple’s application to serve as foster parents after South Carolina requested and HHS granted a waiver of federal nondiscrimination rules for federally funded agencies. In so doing, HHS and the State authorized and enabled taxpayer-funded foster care agencies to use religious criteria to exclude families based on their faith and sexual orientation.

“The thousands of children in South Carolina’s foster care system are the ones who suffer most when agencies like Miracle Hill use religion as a license to discriminate against people who can provide a loving, nurturing home,” said Susan Dunn, legal director for the ACLU of South Carolina. “By allowing this practice to continue, the state of South Carolina and U.S. Department of Health and Human Services have failed the vulnerable children they are supposed to be helping. We are excited this case is moving ahead and look forward to continuing the fight against government using religion to deprive children of loving homes.”

HHS and South Carolina fund Miracle Hill with taxpayer money to perform child welfare services for children in state care even though Miracle Hill made clear that it excludes families based on Miracle “Hill’s religious beliefs. In order to foster through Miracle Hill, a family must agree with Miracle Hill’s “doctrinal statement,” including “that God’s design for marriage is the legal joining of one man and one woman in a life-long covenant relationship” — a requirement that excludes same-sex couples of any faith. HHS and South Carolina have sanctioned and facilitated the use of these religious criteria in the public child welfare system.

Lambda Legal, ACLU, ACLU South Carolina, and South Carolina Equality Coalition filed the lawsuit a year ago in U.S. District Court for the District of South Carolina on behalf of Rogers and Welch. info: lambdalegal.org. Photo Credit: ACLU — Compiled by Lainey Millen

LGBTQ Real Estate Report Released

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JUPITER, Fla. — Housing discrimination (and the fear of it) along with a desire for safe and welcoming neighborhoods differentiate LGBTQ homebuyers and sellers from non LGBTQ homebuyers and sellers according to National Association of Gay and Lesbian Real Estate Professional’s (NAGLREP) fourth annual “LGBT Real Estate Report.”

A majority (57 percent) of NAGLREP members believe more LGBTQ married couples are buying homes today than prior to the Supreme Court legalizing samesex marriage in 2015. This figure has jumped from 47 percent in 2017. Additionally, 56 percent of members believe the LGBT community has shown a greater interest in homeownership since the ruling, up from 46 percent in 2017.

NAGLREP’s report highlights trends from LGBTQ renters, homebuyers and sellers, culls findings from a February survey of 33 percent (930 responses) members along with research from Freddie Mac, the National Association of Realtors (NAR) and other sources. RE/MAX is a supporting sponsor of the “LGBT Real Estate Report.”

The report also shares that only 32 percent of LGBTQ individuals live in the same general location as where they went to high school.

The desire to move away from one’s hometown is higher for the LGBTQ community when compared to a recent report from North American Van Lines that showed 72 percent of Americans live in or close to the city they grew up in.

The report showed that 73 percent of LGBT Baby Boomers live in a different location from where they went to high school followed by Gen X and Millennials, 67 percent and 63 percent, respectively.

Additionally, the report found the Equality Act would have major implications on the real estate industry. The bill, which was passed by the U.S. House of Representatives last May and remains stalled in the Senate, would add sexual orientation and gender identity as protected classes and ban discrimination against the LGBT community in many areas, including housing, credit and employment.

The majority of NAGLREP members (55 percent) believe that LGBT homeownership levels will rise at least 9 percent within five years of the Equality Act becoming law. LGBTQ homeownership levels currently stand at 49 percent compared to the nation’s overall 65 percent mark. Also, a group of NAGLREP members (57 percent) believe the policies of the current administration is having a negative impact on the LGBTQ community’s confidence to buy or sell a home. Thirty percent of members believe a concern of housing discrimination keeps renters they know renting. info: naglrep.com.

— Compiled by Lainey Millen

The Invisible Histories Project has received the Archival Innovator Award from the Society of American Archivists.

The project is located in Birmingham, Ala., and was co-founded by former University of North Carolina archivist Joshua Burford who told The Associated Press, “We strive to break barriers between organizations and their local communities to ensure that preservation and research exist in a co-productive and relationship-centered way.”

info: bit.ly/2WNPGhZ.

Triad Pride festivals canceled

Greensboro Pride and Pride WinstonSalem have both canceled their 2020 festivals due to COVID-19. Both organizations will host virtual programs across a variety of social media platforms with information on these events being posted on their respective websites and social media.

info: greensboropride.org. pridews.org.

HRC employees laid off

Twenty-two employees of the Human Rights Campaign have been laid off due to COVID-19.

info: hrc.org.

WNCAP fundraiser a success

Western North Carolina AIDS Project has announced that their recent Dine IN for Life (take-out style) was a successful event. The organization raised over $11,000 that will be used for HIV prevention and care, as well as harm reduction.

info: wncap.org.

PFLAG chapter awards scholarship

Concord/Kannapolis PFLAG has announced that Joshua Dawson, a senior at Hickory Ridge High School, is the recipient of the 2020 CKPFLAG $1000 Scholarship Award.

He plans to attend Pace University in New York and major in Commercial Dance.

info: ckpflag@gmail.com.

Golds featured in magazine spread Mitchell and Tim Gold were recently featured in ELLE DECOR telling the story of the couple’s development of a halfway house for disabled dogs, Puppy Palace.

info: bit.ly/2yCwuff.

Literary awardees honored

The Publishing Triangle announced the winners of the 32nd annual Triangle Awards, honoring the best LGBTQ fiction, nonfiction, poetry and transgender literature published in 2019.

info: publishingtriangle.org.

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May 15-28, 2020

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HRC Rallies Behind Biden How LGBTQ Organizations Have Mobilized the Community

By Chris Rudisill | QNotes Contributor

Punching Above Our Weight

In the last issue of qnotes, the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) took the spotlight “We’re voting at massive rates already,” in our series that looks at what LGBTQ says Acosta. “For example, on Super organizations have done, and are doing, to Tuesday, nine to ten percent of voters were mobilize people to vote. The organization LGBTQ identifying, despite being only 4.5 has built a membership of more than three percent of the population overall. Our commillion LGBTQ and allied people, making it munity is already punching massive numthe largest LGBTQ civil rights organization in bers above our weight.” the country.

Acosta points out that the important “We’re bringing people in,” says Lucas work lies ahead in how they move those Acosta, national press secretary for camvoters “up the ladder of engagement” to paigns at HRC. “We are making sure that increase the overall impact the LGBTQ comevery person is getting out to vote, but also munity has on the election. But there are still the people who have been voting and have 21 percent of LGBTQ adults not registered been voting consistently — we need to to vote in the U.S., according to the Williams move them up the ladder of engagement.”

Institute’s study qnotes referred to in the Acosta explains the importance of encouragbeginning of this series. “Those people are ing people to volunteer, organize and even becoming fewer and further between,” fundraise, then getting their friends to do says Acosta when reflecting on his personal the same. “Our power can continue to grow,” experience working in the field. “I think one he says.

Sen. Joe Biden on the 2020 campaign trail. (Photo Credit: Paris Malone. CC-BY-SA 2.0 license) of the best things that has happened in the There have been growing concerns since Trump administration is that people realize February about voter turnout as there is no that passivity is tacit endorsement.” tool and effort this cycle, but with COVID-19 and quaranclear sign to the end of COVID-19. Phase 1 of While at the same time, HRC has learned that a spetine, our development in those plans went rapid-fire.”

North Carolina’s three-step plan to reopen the state went cifically Trump message is less and less effective. “One HRC partnered with The Tuesday Company on a mobile into effect late last week, but future steps will be based on thing we have done, for example,” says Acosta “is that application called Team which was created by Michael data from testing, tracing and trends and those dates are while we are definitely holding Trump accountable, our Luciani and Shola Farber in the wake of the 2016 elecnot yet clear. As the state’s website states: “If infections center piece and our north star is not something that’s tion. The two worked for the Hillary Clinton campaign in spike or benchmark trends begin to move in the wrong diaffiliated with him.” The organization focuses rather on Michigan. Team lets volunteers see which of their friends rection, the state may move to a previous phase to protect a proactive response. “Obviously, we still fight against a campaign wants to reach. According to its website, users public health.” and push back against everything this administration upload their contact lists, and campaigns compare those Dan Honig, assistant professor at the Johns Hopkins has done to target our community, but we’ve seen that lists to their own voter files. Then users can send personalSchool of Advanced International Studies, stated recently equality voters and LGBTQ voters understand that we’re ized text messages to the people selected by the campaign. in the university’s magazine the Hub that “anxiety reunder attack and understand that we need to move, The app also provides breaking news from HRC to volunlated to the coronavirus pandemic has the potential to and we need to move forward. They want to know what teers across the country, allowing them to dampen participation that plan is when we move forward, and how the people quickly share the information in their individuand could encourage a they would be voting for are going to articulate and al circles of influence. ‘flight to safety’ for votpush that plan.”

“It’s a very unique tool that translates a ers.” He points out an Recently, HRC officially endorsed Biden for president, lot of the technology that was developed in already noted change saying “His dedication to advancing LGBTQ equality, even the 2018 [midterm] election around peer-toin voters that chose when it was unpopular to do so, has pushed our country peer engagement and really takes that to the former Vice President and our movement forward.” The endorsement came on next step, taking it outside of the app itself Joe Biden against Sen. the eighth anniversary of Biden’s endorsement of marand utilizing existing resources and netBernie Sanders as a riage equality in an interview on NBC’s “Meet the Press.” works,” says Acosta. “What we’ve seen, study after study “desire to de-risk” and the potential for future exploita“Throughout the primary process, our work has always has shown that there’s a nine percent [action] increase tion of COVID-19 anxiety to influence the general elecbeen to improve voter turnout amongst equality voters in opportunity when you’re hearing directly from a friend tion results. and make sure that we left our mark in the primary prorather than from a random stranger.” HRC had always Acosta points out that, while HRC’s timeline has somecess,” says Acosta. “That work is going to continue.” : : planned on using the resource because of that marked what changed, the organization is staying the course with increase in engagement, but during quarantine it has imits planned mobilization efforts. “For us, it’s really been This project has been supported by the Solutions Journalism proved the organization’s efforts to get it off the ground. keeping our volunteers engaged,” says Acosta. “What Network, a non-profit organization dedicated to rigorous and “I would argue [it has] improved the effectiveness of we’ve done over the past three years in terms of hostcompelling reporting about responses to social problems. Visit those programs given that everyone is on their phone all ing events is really not a possibility at this point. We were solutionsjournalism.org to learn more. the time,” says Acosta. always planning on having a significant digital organizing

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life

LGBTQ-Friendly Restaurants Cope with COVID-19

Business Models Change in Challenging Times

By Tonya Jameson | QNotes Contributor

Restaurant owners have had to be creative and clever in their business operations during the COVID-19 lockdown and have been offering curbside or delivery orders to its customers.

(Photo Credit: coachwood via Adobe Stock)

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odified menus, live DJs and shorter operating hours are just a few of the ways that LGBTQ-friendly restaurants are staying open during the state’s stay-at-home orders directive.

Letty’s on Shamrock kills it for carry-out, but stopped serving brunch. Soul Gastro Lounge features live DJs streaming on Facebook every night to accommodate its homebound customers.

Based on interviews and Facebook postings, many of Charlotte’s favorite LGBTQ and LGBTQ-friendly restaurants such as 300 East, Soul, The Diamond, Letty’s, Pure Pizza, Dish, Bean Vegan Cuisine and Lupe’s Café are open for carry-out.

While North Carolina shifts to Phase 1 of easing social distancing, restaurants anxiously await the next two weeks when they will be allowed to re-open in Phase II. Restaurant owners are making plans such as adjusting the configuration of their dining rooms to meet social distancing requirements. Owners are also estimating a continued decline in revenue, which will affect their menus, dining room layout and even utensils.

Restaurants will be forced to reduce seating capacity and they are not guaranteed to even fill those seats. An ABC poll shows that only 44 percent of Americans are willing to eat out.

“I just think going forward as long as there’s distance seating, that’s going to cut my fannies in the chair by 40 percent,” said Letty Ketner.

She is not taking any chances on endangering customers or her seven staff members. After the shelter-in-place orders began, Letty began offering curbside pick up and collaborating with local businesses for cross-promotions. For example, last

week the restaurant did Throw It Back Thursday with Dr. Marcus Dunn of Dunn Chiropractic. The practice offered $5 discounts on every order over $20 for the first 20 phone orders.

Ketner eliminated the Sunday brunch.

She tried it the first Sunday of the shutdown, but sales were abysmal. Ketner said her core clientele orders at least once if not twice a week.

“We’ve been able to do ok with to-go.

We’re maintaining. We’re not killing it.

We’re able to pay our rent,” she said.

When dining rooms re-open, she plans to move slowly. Curbside pick up will continue. The 22-seat patio will open as well, and Sunday brunch will resume. She will serve Saturday brunch if it goes well on Sundays.

“We’ll try this, baby steps at first. If it fails then we will maintain this and hope the situation improves,” she said.

Kastanas, an owner of Soul, Diamond Restaurant and Kiki Bistronome in Plaza Midwood has been overwhelmed by customer support for the establishments.

“I’m kinda of amazed at the support,” he said. “Sometimes you take things for granted.”

Kiki opened late last year, and had not built a clientele, so Kastanas closed it temporarily. Soul and Diamond offer carry out and limited delivery. Instead of using a third party delivery service, Kastanas gave that job, and the tips that come with it, to his servers.

He said food delivery companies take too much of the restaurants’ slim profits, and he saw an opportunity to help his staff.

Along with posting menu options, Soul’s Facebook page features different see Restaurants on 14

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9

life

Place to Call Home

Trans Women Fight Eviction at South Charlotte Hotel

By Chris Rudisill | QNotes Contributor

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manager and others. Some residents group of black transgender women are at reported that they were still locked out of the center of an emotional legal battle betheir rooms in the video. tween tenants and the owner of the Days Police and security maintained a visible Inn on Woodlawn Rd. in South Charlotte. presence around the hotel.

On Monday, April 20, hotel management notified tenants, including Myka T. Johnson, that Thursday, April 23 they had to vacate by the end of the day. The Things seem a bit more streamlined at owner said he would be giving a refund, but the hotel by Thursday according to Couret, that it would take a week or up to 30 days, acbut management had since left the propcording to activist Rene’ Couret who works with erty. Organizers created a sign-up sheet the Charlotte non-profit There’s Still Hope. “A lot for people who wanted to drop off food of them are homeless and don’t have any other and cleaning product donations, while place to go,” says Couret. “They’re in this shelterJohnson and others raised money to assist in-place situation. This is their home.” According residents. Wedgewood Church allowed to Couret, many of the tenants paid monthly them to wash their linens and clothes. and were paid up through the end of May. That night, Johnson posted a series of videos Over the next several days, donations on her personal Facebook page showing private continued to be delivered to the hotel and security attempting to evict people from the community support grew, while conflicting hotel. Those willing to check out were offered reports came out about the situation in the an opportunity to get rooms at another hotel. In media. During that time, a plumbing probthe video, you can hear a housing attorney from lem caused flooding in some of the rooms Legal Aid of North Carolina inform the general and Johnson helped raise additional money manager via phone that the occupants were Residents at the Days Inn on Woodlawn Rd. in Charlotte, N.C. voiced their demands for utility to pay for a plumber and cleaning crew. considered tenants and subject to protections. usage and continued residency while sheltering-in-place is in effect.

“What I find impressive about this Later that evening, video shows hotel situation is that they are the ones fighting employees packing up things and locking the for everybody else, like they always have including Mecklenburg County Sheriff Garry McFadden, hotel office. According to personal accounts throughout history,” says Couret referring to the four black At-Large Charlotte City Council Member Braxton Winston the hotel management cut off the power and water that transgender women at the Days Inn. “It’s amazing that peoand At-Large Mecklenburg County Board of County evening around 8:30 p.m. ple are not seeing that. Instead they’re trying to vilify them.”

Commissioners Pat Cotham who made phone calls to enLegal Aid of North Carolina’s website states that “a perOn April 27, hotel management returned with sure that management turned the power and water back son renting a hotel room can be a tenant” and can only be Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department officers and on, according to Couret. evicted by the courts if the room is the person’s primary offered to make new key cards for tenants if they signed That afternoon, management tried to convince people residence or “their home.” This requires the landlord, or a contract that restricted guests from the ability to “roam” to leave by giving them immediate refunds and $250 cash hotel owner, to file a civil court action to evict and “is not the hotel property or have unauthorized guests who did to help them relocate. When residents refused at the allowed to change locks, turn off the electricity or water, or not occupy the room prior to April 20 at any time during advice of Legal Aid, management deactivated their key do other things to force a tenant to move.” the day. It also states that any damage will result in civil cards, locking some of them out of their rooms overnight.

According to WFAE, this Days Inn was one of nearly 100 and criminal prosecution.

“People came back thinking their stuff is in their room and hotels in the Charlotte area that got warnings April 3 from From the beginning, the hotel general manager told they can’t get in,” says Couret.

North Carolina Attorney General Josh Stein. “The letters media that the decision to close came when the housesaid the state had received complaints that the hotels keeping and front-office staff refused to keep working in Wednesday, April 22 were threatening to evict people without court orders.” what they considered unsafe conditions due to COVID-19.

Tensions remained high between tenants and manage“As of right now, I know that they can’t evict anyone,” says The Days Inn is part of the Wyndham Hotels family, but ment according to personal accounts. Couret says that local attorney Zoila C. Velasquez who has volunteered to help independently owned by OMS Ventures of Charlotte. In a without the hotel staff working, the tenants were left to some of the residents. “In order to go through that process, letter to WFAE, a spokesman for Wyndham said that the organize the community and take care of it themselves. you’ve got to go in front of a judge and those hearings are company is “troubled by how this situation has unfolded” “They clean and take trash out and take care of each other not even taking place right now.” With COVID-19, Chief Justice and that all franchise holders must obey the law. on-site,” says Couret. “They’ve been stepping up where this Cheri Beasley has postponed all Superior and District Court On May 1, attorneys for the owners filed a lawsuit manager has not.” hearings until June. This includes halting evictions. at Mecklenburg County Superior Court to remove the A Facebook video posted by Sayuri Booler Crester, anresidents from the hotel citing “immediate and irreparable other resident of the hotel, shows Days Inn staff removing Tuesday, April 21 computers and other items from the hotel office before On Tuesday, organizers from There’s Still Hope a verbal argument breaks out between Crester, the hotel provided lunch and several people visited the hotel, see next page u

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“They’re going to fall even further down the line when of transgender people experiinjury will continue to be incurred if the this pandemic has been fully lifted,” she says. “Many encing homelessness and that Court does not grant injunctive relief.” people who are currently going through some type of harassment often follows them The lawsuit claims that tenants have financial crisis, because of loss of jobs or what-have-you, into the shelters. caused more than $20,000 in damage. are going to quickly find themselves, after the wall has “The Days Inn situation In a statement, the hotel’s lawyer, been lifted at the end of the month, homeless, and the city is a very unfortunate one, William Devore, said “The Days Inn’s will be readily in a position to help them faster than they even during the pandemic,” number one concern is to have a hotel will a trans person. says Hopkins who states that that is safe for its guests and its staff, “So, they are pushed further down that pole, even after many transgender women which is why my client continues to ofthis pandemic. That is threatening to me,” says Hopkins. in Charlotte do not have any fer to relocate these guests to another On Monday, May 4, Legal Aid lawyers representing nine other place to go. “They’re location while they make repairs and of the 12 tenants reportedly sent a formal response to the scared. Some of them are dealsecure the premises.”

Days Inn lawsuit, refuting that their clients are the ones ing with health issues. Some of Rev. Debra J. Hopkins has experidamaging the property. them are dealing with mental enced homelessness in Charlotte herAs of press time, the case was expected to head to health issues. It’s a problem self and knows how hard it is for people court on Tuesday, May 12. : : that needs to be addressed, like many of the transgender tenants of but you can’t address the Days Inn. Today, she is the founding them unless you address pastor of Essentials for Life Ministries, the first problem — to a non-denominational online ministry be able to provide some and the founding director of There’s Still type of shelter, however Hope, a non-profit organization that long-term or short-term, helps provide temporary shelter in the as well as making sure Charlotte area to transgender adults. they have something in “Not many people really concern their stomachs to eat.” themselves with the homeless comSince the pandemic munity in particular, and in particular began, There’s Still Hope the trans community — black trans has been able to help homeless community of adults,” says Myka T. Johnson and Rene’ Couret pause 15 transgender people, Hopkins. “The system here in Charlotte for a break while sheltering-in-place at the mostly women of color, abandoned me — they didn’t assist me.”

Days Inn on Woodlawn Rd. in Charlotte, providing them with Hopkins spent a total of nearly two and N.C. (Photo Credit: Rene’ Couret) emergency shelter at ana half years experiencing homelessness other local hotel. Some until Monarch in Charlotte helped her of those stays have been extended for up to two get back on her feet. months due to shelter-in-place orders.

One in five transgender people in the United States Hopkins has been fighting the city to create a space has been discriminated against when seeking a home, Food has been provided by the community to help residents at Days for the homeless community in abandoned hotels for and more than one in 10 have been evicted from their Inn to have their nutritional needs met since there has been no utility three years and sees things only getting worse followhomes because of their gender identity. Family rejection, services due to a shutoff by owners. (Photo Credit: Myka T. Johnson) ing the pandemic, especially for transgender women. discrimination and violence contribute to a large number

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life

Non-Profits Seek Support

Local LGBTQ Organizations Struggle to Make Budgets during COVID-19

By Chris Rudisill | QNotes Contributor

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Chad Turner, president of the Charlotte esbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and LGBT Chamber of Commerce, is worried queer non-profits throughout Charlotte about the smaller organizations in the are constantly fundraising, but with community. “The organizations that are the COVID-19 these vital organizations are struglesser-knowns, like Powerhouse Project and gling to meet their budgets with canceled Rosedale or Dudley’s Place — those spaces events, a plethora of grant opportunities and that touch a lot of people with HIV, especially reduced individual support. Despite a dire people of color and trans people, those situation, leaders are witnessing the power of places are not able to do their normal fundeach other as the community traverses the soraising,” says Turner. “I can imagine they are cial and economic impacts of this unique time. going to be hit pretty hard.” He also points For the Freedom Center for Social Justice, out that LGBTQ and affirming churches the community’s health and safety was the have also seen a decline in giving this year, first priority when considering their fundmaking it difficult to maintain food banks raising this year. The organization was one or clothing closets for the community. “You of the first in the area to cancel its largest have to think about the LGBTQ Elders and fundraiser. The inaugural Freedom Center the arts organizations, especially — Pride Honors Awards Banquet was scheduled for Band, the Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte, March 19 at the Charlotte Museum of History. and One Voice Chorus — a lot of their big “We turned 10 years old in 2019,” says Bishop fundraisers are through the summer,” Tonyia Rawls, the organization’s founder and continues Turner. “Those are groups that are executive director. “We wanted to do someCharlotte’s area non-profits have been hit by the coronavirus’s impact and have had to turn to going to feel the brunt.” thing very special in 2020. Everything was grants and contributions to help offset the loss of fundraising revenues.

Loss of employment throughout the lined up and, of course, COVID hit.”

(Photo Credit: Olivier Le Moal via Adobe Stock) region also affects donations. “One of the They had invested heavily in the event biggest effects that all of the non-profits, but with the venue scheduled, honorees named to a recent press release, the Fund passed the $17 million particularly the smaller ones, we are seeing and food and entertainment booked. The mark in donations in just over a month. The application is the economic impact,” says Conner-Hughes. “People are Freedom Center is considering a rescheduled event in the process closed on May 1 and many of the organizations being furloughed and laid-off. They don’t have income, or fall depending on the state of the virus and the oncoming qnotes spoke with have applied for support. The Charlotte are having to use every resource they have to secure their flu season. “It’s difficult thinking about programming and Gay & Lesbian Fund operating grant also has yet to anown housing or their food and safety. They don’t have the how you structure your programming in this environment nounce its 2020 recipients but is expected to be a welextra capacity to give to non-profits.” that then makes seeking grants more difficult,” says Rawls. comed line of support for area LGBTQ nonprofits.

“As a small organization, it has been difficult.”

Individual support through donations is paramount For other organizations, the new norm is an ongoing to the sustainability of local non-profits. “Some folks who grant application process. “We’ve rewritten the developare financially stable or have the resources are doing ment plan twice now since February,” says Rodney Tucker, Despite struggling through the lack of fundraising, one even more than they typically would because there is executive director of Time Out Youth Center. “Everything is common theme was mentioned in all the interviews. “Our an understanding that we need these services for folks,” just kind of unknown.” The organization also had to cancel community is super resilient and very strong and there’s says Laura Conner-Hughes, MSW, executive director for its major fundraising gala, originally scheduled for June. a huge sense of mutual aid and helping other folks,” says Transcend Charlotte. “The virus isn’t making any of these According to Tucker, the gala made up $250,000 of their Conner-Hughes. “That’s just really something that’s stood things go away. You’re still going to need support for the budget and they are realizing that they may have a shortout to me throughout this whole process — is watching us LGBTQ community. You’re still going to need those social fall of $400,000 in income this year. “That’s almost half the take care of us.” connections and interactions. Folks who are in a place to budget,” says Tucker.

Organizations like Twirl to the World and Hearts Beat give back, have been doing so.”

Time Out Youth staff has been applying for everything as One Foundation have both launched community supthey possibly can, like relief grants through the United port funds. The Campaign for Southern Equality launched Way, American Heart Association, Cardinal Health and a COVID-19 Rapid Response Grant. While events are canFood Lion to name a few. As of April 21, the organization celed, LGBTQ organizations throughout the Charlotte area had over $340,000 in pending grant applications and 10 Non-profits have also been able to apply for the federal have stepped up to provide meaningful programming and of those were new to the non-profit. The organization is Payroll Protection Program which offers low-interest loans to support to their constituents. also planning to hold a quarantine version of its popular non-profit organizations to pay their staff and cover operat“It’s a different world I think now. One of the things Mimosa Party at the end of May and has rescheduled its ing costs. The loans are eligible for debt forgiveness if they COVID has done is it forces all to think more broadly annual Youth Prom for September. “The effort is to repriretain their workers or hire back those who have been laid off about each other,” says Rawls. “We’re not in this alone. I oritize gala sponsors to the event in the fall and allow gala according to its website (nff.org). None of the organizations love that I don’t feel alone in it. Our organization doesn’t supporters to purchase a ticket for a youth to attend the qnotes spoke with had yet to be approved for the program. feel alone. We feel the hands of our board. We feel our prom instead,” says Tucker.

“Our goal is to keep the employees that we have,” says funders. We feel our community who has really leaned in Locally, a COVID-19 Response Fund was launched Tucker. “Keep doing the services we’re supposed to do.” Time and been supportive.” in March, in partnership between Foundation for the Out Youth put everything on a hiring freeze and reorganized For a list of non-profit organizations in the Charlotte Carolinas and United Way of Central Carolinas. According new jobs, redistributing those priorities among current staff. area and how you can support, visit goqnotes.com. : :

A Community Response

Keeping Staff in Place

Support local organizations:

Monetary contributions can be made to the following: Campus Pride bit.ly/3cmkf4N.

Charlotte Black Pride charlotteblackpride.org/donate.

Carolinas Care Partnership carolinascare.org.

Charlotte Pride charlottepride.org/donate.

Campaign for Southern Equality southernequality.org/donate.

Charlotte Pride Band bit.ly/2xV5TcW.

Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce Become a member at clgbtcc.org.

Equality NC equalitync.org/donate.

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The Freedom Center for Social Justice fcsj.org/donate.

Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte gmccharlotte.org/donate.

Metropolitan Community Church Charlotte mymcccharlotte.org.

One Voice Chorus bit.ly/3bkkbS6.

PFLAG Charlotte pflagcharlotte.org/donate.

Stonewall Sports bit.ly/stonewallsports.

qnotes goqnotes.com.

There’s Still Hope tshcharlotte3.org/donate.

RAIN carolinarain.org/donate.

Time Out Youth bit.ly/2xV68ES.

Rosedale Health and Wellness/ Dudley’s Place rosedaleid.com.

Transcend Charlotte bit.ly/3bnb5DQ.

May 15-28, 2020

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views

Divorce in the Pandemic Pandemonium

Legal Eagles: Navigating Separation, Divorce, and Co-Parenting Issues During COVID-19

By Lauren V. Lewis, attorney | guest WRITER

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the relief you could be entitled to.

Child support may also be modifiable based on a change in the needs of the child. School closures and changes in the availability and cost of child care can have a significant effect.

Keep in mind that North Carolina’s child support guidelines automatically govern any child support legal proceeding unless the judge states otherwise.

o many things are out of everyone’s control right now. Neither divorce nor co-parenting are “one-size-fits-all” operations even under the best of normal, non-pandemic circumstances. Now there are new rules and changes to keep up with in the midst of chaos.

If you have questions, you are not alone. Here are some answers that can help you move forward.

Is the state courthouse even open to hear family law matters?

Many states are operating under drastically different schedules for courthouse business. In North Carolina, few state courtrooms are in session, and even those are operating on a limited basis. Most hearings and legal matters will be scheduled or rescheduled to June 1 or after.

What if I have an emergency for the court to hear?

There are special circumstances for emergency matters, including domestic violence protection orders and temporary restraining orders. The courts are also hearing other emergency matters affecting a person’s right to due process of the law. Each jurisdiction within North Carolina has some authority to create its own rules, including some ability to conduct hearings remotely using online video conferencing.

As forecasts about the spread of COVID-19 are changing rapidly, so are the rules and restrictions of courthouse matters. Visit the N.C. Courts website to find out more about what is happening in your county.

Is travel allowed so I can see my child on my regular visitation schedule?

N.C. Gov. Cooper’s statewide shelter-in-place order currently in effect in North Carolina specifically permits travel to follow a custody schedule. If you are outside of North Carolina, check on stay-at-home orders in your state.

What if I don’t want my ex to see our child because a reason related to COVID-19? Or if my ex is refusing my visitation rights because of COVID? Co-parents may have different opinions on what social distancing should look like, such as one parent continuing to go to work outside the home, allowing children to interact with peers, considering the schedule of step-siblings, or inviting dating partners in the home.

As in most co-parenting issues, communication is key.

As states start to make plans to re-open, even if in phases, there will be new rules, but it does not necessarily mean your co-parent’s opinion has changed.

Divorce during a pandemic can present unique challenges for couples.

(Photo Credit: adragan (figures) via Adobe Stock) Denying parenting time because of COVID-19 could have negative ramifications in the future. Your decision (or your ex’s decision) to do so could be brought before a judge in the future, and it could be viewed as a direct violation of a court order.

The effects on children of being denied time with a parent can be extremely detrimental to their well-being. The N.C. Family Court Advisory Commission issued custody and visitation recommendations in April 2020 with the goal of encouraging families to follow their existing custody plan, whether in an agreement or court order.

For more resources for parents related to COVID-19, including information on managing children’s mental health needs during this time, visit the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts.

Do I still have to pay child support or alimony if I’ve been furloughed or laid off? Or can I expect my ex to still have to pay me child support or alimony?

Whether you receive child support or alimony or pay it, you could feel the impact of a decrease in income as a result of COVID-19. The number of people seeking unemployment benefits is surging, and there can be delays in receiving those funds. In North Carolina, both child support and alimony obligations are modifiable based on changed circumstances, and an involuntary loss of income resulting from a loss of employment may qualify.

Good record-keeping is key. If you wish to request a change in your payments due to lost income, you will need to document the changes in income and present supporting documentation as to why the changes occurred. The court closures prevent any quick hearing on these modifications, however. Consult with a family lawyer to maximize

I’m thinking about separating or divorcing my spouse, but I’m in a panic about the stock market and dividing our assets. What do I need to know?

Watching the stock market closely these days is not for the faint of heart. You may be especially worried if you are separated or planning a divorce and wondering what your finances will look like afterwards.

The court will divide your property between you and your ex. In North Carolina, the equitable distribution laws take into account any increase or decrease in the value of your marital property from the date that you separated from your ex. Among other factors, the court will consider changes in the value of investment or retirement assets, and the value of a business if either of you own one.

I’ve been involved in a knock-down, drag-out legal fight with my ex, but everything has stopped in court because of COVID. Are there alternatives to get things resolved faster?

As if there are not enough other reasons to work hard to settle your divorce issues outside of court, the fact that it is impossible (in most instances) to get into a courtroom right now is a pretty compelling reason to give settlement talks a try.

Essentially shutting down the state courts for two plus months will absolutely create a backlog on the courts’ dockets.

Now is the time to take that deep breath, put the past behind you, and keep an eye on the high road. You will gain much freedom and control if you can settle your case now and avoid the delays and over-crowded courtrooms. Collaborative family law, mediation, and even arbitration allow for an easier, quicker resolution, and all of that work can be conducted via online videoconferencing right now. Talk with an experienced family lawyer to see what options may work for you. : : Lauren V. Lewis is a family law attorney with Essex Richards, P.A. in Charlotte. Her work involves issues of child custody, child support, alimony, equitable distribution, separation agreements, premarital agreements, postnuptial agreements, and other family law issues. She is active in collaborative family law and a member of Charlotte Collaborative Divorce Professionals. Lewis is a certified Family Law Specialist, a certified Parenting Coordinator, guardian ad litem, and an active volunteer with the Council for Children’s Rights.

Restaurants

continued from page 9 DJs streaming every night starting around 7 p.m. Customers often tag the page with photos of them eating the restaurant’s food while listening to the sets.

“Our job is to make people feel good,” Kastanas said. “I’m doing the best I can to give everybody a little distraction to get away from all this stuff.”

Like Ketner, Kastanas knows restaurant sales will not return to normal anytime soon. He is also planning for when he can re-open.

Kastanas said, Soul, which often has two-hour wait times, will likely start taking reservations. Usually, people congregate near the front door and down the stairs waiting. He also plans to continue offering carry-out and

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delivery until the restaurant reaches 100 percent occupancy.

Lewis Donald owns and operates Dish and nearby Sweet Lew’s Barbecue. Dish’s COVID menu is only a meat and two vegetables, accompanied by the signature deviled egg and biscuit. Like Letty’s, Donald eliminated brunch items for now. Donald is not overly optimistic that business will return to pre-COVID levels.

“The term re-open really doesn’t mean anything,” he said. “People are still not going to come out to eat.”

Donald anticipates reduced capacity at the restaurant to follow social distancing rules, which means he will need less staff once the dining room re-opens. He said he has already cut the staff of 32 down to 14 at Dish. He thinks he will only see a return of about 25 percent of capacity. To save costs, he plans to trim down the menu, which is scratch-made, to help reduce the required labor it takes to run the restaurant.

People have been out of work, and have delayed paying rent, utilities and other bills, he said.

“People are not going to be able to go right back to us.

They’re not going to be able to afford to. A lot of people are going to be scared and nervous at the beginning,” he said. “I just don’t think it’s going to go where we need it to go as restaurant owners.” : :

Food delivery services have served as the ‘waitstaff’ for restaurant owners during the COVID-19 pandemic.

(Photo Credit: Atlas via Adobe Stock)

a&e

Taylor-Made

An Interview with Holland Taylor

BY Gregg Shapiro | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

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ccording to Ryan Murphy, “Casting a television show is like casting a dinner party. It’s like, ‘Well, who do I want to sit next to for the next six months of my life?’” In the case of his new Netflix series “Hollywood,” that premiered on the streaming network on May 1, he set an amazing table, and seated his guests just so. One such guest is out actress Holland Taylor who plays no-nonsense 1940s movie studio exec Ellen Kincaid. Kincaid is someone we can fall in love with immediately; a smart, tough, single-career woman who plays a big part in keeping the flicks flickering. And who doesn’t love Holland Taylor? Playing sassy roles on TV (“Bosom Buddies,” “The L Word,” “Two and a Half Men” and “The Practice,” for which she won an Emmy), in movies (“Legally Blonde”) and onstage (playing Ann Richardson in “Ann,” for which she was nominated for a Tony), Taylor has established herself as an in-demand actress of considerable talent. Taylor was kind enough to answer a few questions prior to the debut of “Hollywood” on Netflix.

person at all. In fact, I’ve played plenty of characters that I wouldn’t like. But I love her. I would love to know someone like her. In those days, she’s the kind of woman who found herself in a man’s power world where her female qualities allowed her to be comfortable exercising her opinion and views. It’s almost like it was in a family situation where the boys would accept her because she was so smart and game and charming. She could operate in the world of men. She has a real partnership with Dick Samuels [out actor Joe Mantello], the guy who’s actually making the movies at the studio, where it would never occur to her not to voice a strong opinion or one that challenges his. She would be comfortable and easy and fun in sharing her views.

GS: Ellen, along with Avis (played by Patti LuPone), become powerful women in the movie industry.

How different do you think the world of entertainment would have been if there had been more women in power all along?

Holland Taylor (Ellen Kincaid) with David Corenswet (Jack Castello) in a scene from HT: There always were some women in certain areas.

Ryan Murphy’s Netflix mini-series ‘Hollywood.’ (Photo Credit: Netflix) In the early days, women were great editors and costume designers. Who knows what power Edith Gregg Shapiro: What was it about the way He has an idea of what they can do and what special thing Head had beyond costumes? She might have chamthat the character of Ellen Kincaid was they can bring to a character. If he particularly wanted pioned an actor or actress that we don’t know about. I’m written that appealed to you and made you want to me to play this character, I was very game to do it. I didn’t sure she could get rid of an actor or actress that she didn’t portray her in the Netflix series Hollywood? see a script before I accepted it. When I read the script, care about. Irene Selznick was a great force. There were Holland Taylor: First of all, Ryan told me that he was I got very excited because she’s an attractive character. wives of studio heads who were powerful. Nothing like writing this character for me. Which is, right away, a very You don’t always play people that you like. You can play a exciting opportunity, because Ryan has a special feel for great character, but that doesn’t mean you would like the actors that have proven themselves over and over again. see Taylor on 18

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Gender Confirmation Surgery: Parents and Outsider Thoughts Tell Trinity

BY Trinity | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

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ecently, I got a letter, which said,

Dear Trinity, I have a 27-year-old son who is gay and I love him very much. He now wants to have his gender changed. This is something I am having an awful time dealing with. I feel you’d understand this situation somewhat better than me.

Yours truly, Son Troubles, Baltimore, MD I asked you, my readers to help me answer this question and this is what you said. At the end of each letter I will give my answers.

Dear Trinity, Trans-sexuality is something that should not be discussed in a free publication. There are special magazines that deal with these social outcasts. I’m sorry for this man and his troubles, but if you’re going to have an advice column, then print things that are socially conscious, not sexually deviant.

Concerned Citizen, Kansas City, MO Dear Concerned Citizen, Social outcasts? Sexual deviants? Let me remind you, darling, about the Native

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American tribes where transgender people, Two Spirits and Brave Hearts were revered as the highest of spiritual teachers and leaders keeping the culture and rituals alive, raising the children, taking care of the men during battles, and often acting as the diplomats between warring tribes. So next time you want to stop free speech and free expression, then go to a book burning ceremony rather than to “Tell Trinity.”

In love not fear, Trinity

Hello Son Troubles, I’m a transgender entertainer in my 20s, who is transitioning. My family still has difficulties with my lifestyle. Anyone who has interest in changing their biological gender has to come to that decision on their own.

Parents should love and support their children. One can only decide what path to take in life by one’s self. But having support from loved ones lights the way when it is dark.

Unsigned, Dallas, TX Hello Unsigned, Love and support, especially from parents, are pinnacle in every situation. It does light the way in the darkness. Unfortunately, when the child is going against everything the parent is taught it’s unbelievably hard for a parent. But, pumpkin, isn’t life a lesson in unconditional love? (Check out my cartoon for how things out to be.)

Love you, Trinity Dearest Son Troubles, In the end, as a parent you must love and stand by your son no matter what. So, get support for him and yourself. PFLAG is in every major city. They have supported trans people and their families for many years and have excellent materials, which are available through the Internet. Just type in “PFLAG” or call them for support.

Good luck, Concerned Parent, Boston, MA Dearest Concerned Parent, PFLAG is a great organization. Moreover, love your son until it alters your entire perception of everything you know. Honey, we must allow our children, as best we can,

to expand our understanding, not use our children to prove ourselves right.

Love conquers all, Trinity Dear Son Troubles I’m a Christian who empathizes with your problem. If he were my son, I’d put him into therapy and take him away from his environment. Furthermore, the Bible’s condemnation of homosexuality and cross-dressing remains unmistakable. All sex outside of heterosexual marriage is a sin. However, those who acknowledge their sin can find forgiveness through our Lord.

Sincerely, Empathize, Louisville, KY Dear Empathize, I always give thanks for the plethora of cultural diversity that lives in our land. And yes, I do agree, anyone who wants to undertake a major life change should absolutely seek counseling, whether it be marriage, work, or dealing with religious zealots. But, sweetie, while the Bible definitely has been an interpretive piece of work for millenniums, it’s definitely not clear on homosexuality and does not mention transsexuality anywhere. If you send me a copy of the passage that mentions “transsexuality,” I will march down the center of the highway singing “Proud Mary Keeps On Burning.”

Yours, Trinity With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com.

Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

life

Conspiracies, Family, Death and Discovery

Health & Wellness: Coping with big changes during the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic

BY Jack Kirven | qnotes contributor The Before Shot I don’t know what switch got flipped, but I’ve already received three messages this morning related to conspiracies.

What I’m about to share isn’t bragging or boasting, it’s an expression of gratitude. I understand lots of people are scared right now, but I cannot get behind any of these Sometimes individuals are beset with both good and demands for protests, for premadifficult situations at the same time. Finding ways to turely reopening non-essential achieve balance, however, is a necessary goal in order businesses (mine included), easing to overcome overwhelm and find wellness. social distancing or rumors that the (Photo Credit: peterschreiber.media via Adobe Stock) virus was manufactured right here in North Carolina. tions. Very soon after they released her, she I’m sharing this, because I passed away at Dad’s home. want to put off being included in fear monShe had to be cremated, and there’s gering, which isn’t helpful to my Bipolar no funeral planned. She was Episcopalian, Disorder. If you’re scared, I totally get it, and bought her plot next to Grampa all but please do not scare me with you. the way back in 1989. This was absolutely I sense I’m in a much better position not what she would’ve wanted. than many people, because as of yet I’m It was a surreal moment, because I barely even aware of all the fallout. My debt literally held bliss in one hand and sorrow and cost of living are relatively low. I have in the other. The two crashed together a couple clients who, for now, are consisand essentially canceled each other out. tently paying their monthly subscriptions to On the one hand I wanted to celebrate train via FaceTime. Thankfully, that means my book, but it made me feel guilty for my relatively good savings won’t be hit as not feeling bereft. On the other hand I hard as quickly. I have a safe, enclosed needed to grieve, but I felt indignant that patio with lots of space and fresh air, and something would immediately diminish my apartment is spacious. My cat is healthy my sense of accomplishment. It took many and affectionate. My utilities and WiFi are days of allowing myself to oscillate back good. I’m a prepper who already had nearly and forth between the two extremes to everything in place. I even refilled my meds come back to a place of neutrality. the week before the lockdown with a 90And now this: My biological father is day supply of each. I have creative work to not the same man as my adoptive Dad. keep me engaged, I know how to effectively Father was a rolling stone who liked the exercise with minimal or no equipment, I’m ladies. And the ladies liked him. I’ve always physically healthy, and I’m introverted. All known of at least two half-siblings he had that together means I am (as of yet) essenwith my mother’s roommate, but assumed tially insulated from all this. there must be many more women. For For all that, I am profoundly grateful. years I shrugged them off collectively with, I hope for a safe resolution to all our “I wouldn’t know them if I were standing current troubles. However, stopping social next to them on the bus.” distancing the moment it finally starts to But now one of them has found my have an effect is short sighted. Also, in sister and me. And this new sister has a the quest for answers, I think it’s unhelpbig brother. These are the two I’d always ful to assign blame to people based on known about. When my mother asked their race or nationality — viruses have their mother if we couldn’t all know each always happened, and this one is probother as siblings, their mother refused. So ably not much different. The two strongest none of us ever followed up. emotions we have are love and fear. Right But my new sister had been looking for now there is too much of one and too us for decades. My brother doesn’t want little of the other, and it’s pulling us in very to talk yet. I was trepidatious at first, too. dangerous directions. I know it’s hard (and I forced my sister to vet this new sister that I’m speaking from a position of privito make sure she wasn’t homophobic. It lege), but please try not to feed despair. turns out her husband is bisexual. Now I’m enthusiastically opening the flood gate The After Shot between the two of us. She’s fascinating to My right hand: I clicked the attachme, and I’m eager to meet her one day. My ment. I just received the final draft of the brother, too (if he should ever want that). art book I’ve been creating this past year.

That will take some adjusting: “My brothGorgeous! I was so eager to see it! er.” I’ve never needed to use that phrase My left hand: A text pinged my phone. before. I have a little brother. So weird.

The image of my book was filling me up Maintaining wellness isn’t easy. Life is too with total joy. Then I looked at my phone: complex for that. But something I’m seeing “Mama just died.” in all this dynamic shifting is an undercurDad had been caring for his mother after rent of balance. Before Gramma died, I was she broke her neck in a car accident. The proselytizing from a place too far removed accident happened the morning the first from current events. After Gramma died, I COVID-19 cases were announced in Augusta, began to appreciate better how transformaGa., but she had already been admitted to tive our current times are. I’m still writing the same hospital where those cases were from a place of privilege, given my precarithen being treated. They rushed her through ous financial stability, but I feel I’m beginning the recovery process in only a couple weeks, to appreciate better how much chaos there because she was 93 with underlying condi-

is outside my insular man-cave. I sincerely hope you’re all okay. : : Jack Kirven completed the MFA in Dance at UCLA, and earned certification as a personal trainer through NASM. His wellness philosophy is founded upon integrated lifestyles as opposed to isolated workouts. Visit him at jackkirven.com and INTEGRE8Twellness.com.

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continued from page 15 what there is today. But I think the world is always improved by having every group represented in humanity present at the table. We’re seeing it now in politics. We’re going to be a much better country when half the people in our government are women. We’re going to be a much better country when an appropriate proportion of people in our government are Hispanic and Black or immigrant. Our country is enriched by this. Humanity’s table is best served when everybody is at it.

GS: I’m glad you mentioned costumes, what was it like to wear those period costumes, and did you have a favorite one?

HT: It was wonderful! It’s a period I love. I was a kid in the 1940s, so I don’t personally remember the clothes that adults wore, but I saw all those movies. I have a real affinity for those clothes. When I’m dressed in those clothes, I feel [like] this is how I should be dressing. I really look just right in those clothes. I’m in the profession at the wrong time. I would have done very well if I was an actress in the 1940s, I would have fit right in. I have a particularly sweet story to tell about that. I brought in some pictures of my parents. They were a glamour couple. Pictures in those day were always black and white. I think black and white pictures have much more information in them than color pictures. I brought in a lot of snapshots, which were so beautiful. The quality of the film stock was so different from today. The clothes my parents were wearing were great. These glamour couple postures of this couple in Philadelphia in the 1940s. Unbeknownst to me, they picked out one thing my mother was wearing and they copied it. This plaid blazer with the pocket set with the fabric going in the opposite direction, with this blouse and pin.

They made it for me to wear in a scene. I was dumbstruck. I thought it was so sweet of them to do! They gave me that outfit when we wrapped.

GS: The hairstyles from that time were also distinctive. What did you think of Ellen’s do?

HT: Michelle Ceglia is one of the great hairdressers of all time; she’s incredibly great with wigs. They take so much time to maintain! She’s always at work late redressing them, getting them ready for the day’s work, long before I’m getting ready for the day’s work. They were beautiful. Of course, they make the clothes work, too. I love wearing hats, too. I really think you’re put together when you’re wearing a hat.

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GS: What do you think of the way that Hollywood blends fictional characters with real ones?

HT: I think that was a great idea. I think it was a great idea to do the revisionist history thing, too. I don’t think it was part of Ryan’s original concept which he spoke of as a love letter to Hollywood glamour.

It turned out to be much more than that.

When we see these revisionist history scenes, particularly as they involve the exclusion or inclusion of different kinds of people, it’s very moving to see the Rock Hudson [played by Jake Picking] character walking hand in hand with his boyfriend at the Oscars. That would have been the most unbelievably daring thing to do in the 1940s and nobody did it! You can’t help but wonder, what would have happened? When we

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see Camille [actress Laura Harrier] winning an Oscar and getting cast in a role she normally would not get. Or Eleanor Roosevelt [actress Harriet Sansom Harris] saying, “Do this for this girl! Hollywood can teach us!”

Of course, Hollywood has taught us many things. Those bold lessons, when you see them and experience the sadness and loss of opportunity that those chances weren’t taken, I suppose it might inspire someone to perhaps be braver.

GS: One of the fictional characters, Ernie [Dylan McDermott], is based on Scotty Bowers, who not only wrote a book about his experiences as a gas station gigolo and pimp but was also the subject of a documentary. Was the legend of Scotty Bowers something of which you were aware in Hollywood lore and what did you think about the character of Ernie?

HT: I think the situation about the gas station was because of the Scotty Bowers story. But Ernie, as a character, is not like what Scotty Bowers was at all. I actually knew Scotty Bowers. Scotty was kind of like an elf, a gamine, charming pixie kind of a guy. I never was quite altogether sure about some of the tales he told. But that the escort service existed is absolutely true. You do encounter guys, like the character of Ernie, who had a failed career and who had to make do with something else and always felt thwarted in their dream.

Sometimes those people do emerge, and they have some opportunity late in life. It was great fun to see Dylan play this guy who had so much gusto and charm, and who never played it right when he had the chance. Then he gets a second chance and a chance to be a star. We love stories like this and sometimes they’re true.

GS: Because of the post-World War II setting of the film, it made me think about Dorothy Arzner and Ida Lupino, women directors, from that period. Do you think you might someday want to direct?

HT: I’ve often thought about Ida Lupino.

She was such a favorite! She was a wonderful character actress. People don’t even know that she was a big director. She didn’t do major films, but she was a really smart woman. You could see this native intelligence in her. She had ambition and she saw how it could be done. They had the sense to let her do it. She obviously didn’t have some empty ambition of fame for fame’s sake. She was content to be a behind-the-scenes director. I don’t imagine she gave a fig whether or not she was promoted publicly in that role. She had work to do, with an intelligent roving mind. She wanted to be creative and she was. Now, the women directors who are around who are so gifted — [Kathryn] Bigelow and Ava Duvernay, there are just too many of them to even think of. There’s something about a director; I actually think it’s a very maternal role. It’s a nurturing role. There are directors who have had great success with actors by scaring the shit out of them and being monsters and being a dictator and brutalizing them. I suppose you can get things from people by that approach. But I think a nurturing approach is better. There are lots of women directors who will be the rival of any men directors. The world is better when everyone is represented. : :

life

Our People: Dr. Jay Hreiz Veterinarian, Confidant, Adventurer

P

By Mykah Buff | QNotes Staff Writer

ennsylvania native Dr. Jay Hreiz is a practicing veterinarian and owner of Queen City Animal Hospital (QCAH) in Charlotte, N.C. and says he is grateful for the opportunity to provide a warm and welcoming environment with excellent veterinary care to members of the community.

In 2008, Dr. Hreiz graduated from the University of Pennsylvania School of Veterinary Medicine and received his Bachelor’s in Science in Animal Bioscience from Pennsylvania State University in 2004.

He has always carried a passion for animals, but has a special interest in exotic animals. In 2013, Dr. Hreiz decided to become co-owner of Ebenezer Animal Clinic, an American Animal Hospital Association (AAHA) accredited clinic in Rock Hill, S.C. specializing in the care of small mammals and reptiles. qnotes was able to speak with Dr. Hreiz and find out about his work as a caregiver to animals, as well as what his life entails while not caring for his patients.

Can you describe your roles as a practicing veterinarian and owner of the Queen City Animal Hospital?

I am the medical director and owner of Queen City Animal Hospital and a veterinarian practicing part-time as well (I spend time at my other hospital in Rock Hill as well). I, along with my managing director April Splawn, set policy and procedures going forward. As a veterinarian I see scheduled appointments (both sick and well), perform minor procedures like sedated x-rays and perform general surgery like mass removals, spays, neuters and dental cleanings throughout the week.

When did you first realize that you wanted to work with animals?

When I was about 10 years old, I realized I really enjoyed working with animals. I grew up raising dogs and lots of different exotic animals (canaries, turtles, rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters, gerbils and frogs), so I had quite a bit of exposure to various species. When I was a little older I realized I enjoyed working with people as well.

In addition to treating common domestic animals like cats and dogs, you and your staff at Queen City Animal Hospital also provide specialized care to exotic animals such as small mammals and reptiles. From your experience, how do exotic animals and common domestic animals differ in terms of the type of care they require? Are exotic animals more challenging to provide care for? How extensively were exotic animals

covered in your medical training and curriculum while attending school? Is there special training required to be able to care for certain animals?

Most veterinarians do not see exotic companion mammals like rabbits, rodents, birds and reptiles. These species do not have the same nutritional or physiological properties as dogs and cats and, thus, many veterinarians feel out of their comfort zone. My experience as a child with these species drove my desire to see them as an adult.

A typical veterinary student receives minimal training in exotics (basically enough to help you pass your boards!). I spent extra time in veterinary school with my clinical rotations along with externships at Cornell [University] and University of Tennessee’s veterinary schools.

Do you have a favorite animal? If so, what is it about that particular animal that fascinates you?

I grew up raising rabbits and, therefore, it would be my favorite animal. They are gentle, unique and challenging to treat as a species.

From your perspective, has COVID-19 affected Queen City Animal Hospital, as well as veterinary care in general? If so, how?

We had to adapt rapidly. In mid-March we converted my entire practice to curbside only. No clients are allowed in the building for the time being. We check in our clients after they arrive in their car, all services are performed in the hospital after safe transport, treatments and recommendations are made, and the patient goes back with the owner in their car. The exception to this rule is humane euthanasia.

Even though we are placing our staff at risk, this is a time where I do think an owner should be allowed to be present and balance risk versus need for quality and compassionate care. It has been a challenge without interacting with owners face to face, but we have all adapted well to the change.

What inspired the rainbow-paw print in Queen City Animal Hospital’s logo?

Diversity and pride are part of the core values of QCAH. The rainbow paw is a not-so-subtle nod to our LGBTQ foundation, a spin on the Charlotte crown and a reminder that we see more than dogs and cats!

How does life in North Carolina compare to when you lived in Pennsylvania?

I’ve lived in North Carolina for about 12 years, Pennsylvania for 12.5 years and New Jersey 12.5 years be-

fore that. I’ve split my time in three states so far! Charlotte is a great fit for me. The weather is great (I’m not a fan of cold weather), the pace of life is a bit slower and the city is a great place to live. The change we have experienced in the last decade has been incredible.

What activities and hobbies do you enjoy doing when not caring for your patients?

I’m an avid runner and have done multiple half marathons and six marathons (and counting). I’ve been a licensed judge for the American Rabbit Breeders Association since 2002 and judge periodically when work or personal life are not overwhelming. My husband and I love to travel and just finished a trip of a lifetime in January when we spent two weeks in Patagonia between Argentina and Chile. We are so grateful we made it home before the world changed dramatically.

As a wine connoisseur, what makes a good wine in your opinion? Do you have a favorite kind or label?

Wine is a hobby that my husband and I like because it involves being social and changes as time goes on. I think a good wine is one that is easy to drink, has layers that may change as you drink it and pairs well with food. We are big fans of Oregonian and New Zealand Pinot Noirs.

If you could be any animal in the world, what would you be and why?

Any large bird would be incredible. Seeing the world from their perspective would be fascinating. : : Read more about Hreiz online at goqnotes.com/65633.

‘Good Boy: My Life in Seven Dogs, A Memoir’ Out in Print

BY terri schlichenmeyer | CONTRIBUTING WRITER “Good Boy: My Life in Seven Dogs, A Memoir”

by Jennifer Finney Boylan ©2020, Celadon Books / $26.99 / 272 pages

C

an you name them in chronological order?

The first one might be hard: you were small when you loved that dog. Later ones recall easier and, naturally, you remember the first pup that was all yours. Think: the names come one after another because there was always a dog and in “Good Boy: My Life in Seven Dogs” by Jennifer Finney Boylan, there was always love.

Like any other history, your life can be separated into “B.C.” and “A.D.” That’s before canine and after dog or, as Boylan says, “My days have been numbered in dogs.”

For her, before James Boylan became Jennifer, there was a dalmatian named Playboy, a “troublesome hoodlum” and

escape artist who seemed mostly to ignore Boylan. Playboy showed that it is possible to love someone, despite their faults.

On James’ 11th birthday, Penny entered the family. She was also a dalmatian, and an overeater who grew sausagelike, drooly and messy, but Boylan adored that chubby dog until childhood things were put aside, and Penny resignedly went with them.

There was Matt the Mutt, an out-of-control mongrel who taught Boylan that “sometimes the happiest people are the ones that cause the most pain to everyone around them.” An “adorable brown fluff ball” named Brown showed that scars can be healed “if you know love.”

Alex was not Boylan’s dog at first, and he almost never was; the Gordon Setter’s heart had always belonged to Boylan’s best friend, Zero — although Alex was there when Boylan fell in love, and again when James Boylan revealed that he was transitioning to fully be Jenny. Then there was Lucy, who disliked everyone; and Ranger, the last “family” dog.

“When I was young,” says Boylan, “I was haunted by the

person I imagined I could never be.” The surprise was that the boy and the man she was “still live within my heart, along with every last dog that ever helped them on their way.”

Not to quibble, but “Good Boy” is not just about a good boy.

It’s also about a couple of bad boys, a few good girls, a host of hilarious family stories, and author Boylan’s life, told without any dark corners of insincerity. So it is not about a single “Good Boy.” S’okay, we’re good.

You will not even mind that you sometimes forget dogs are supposed to be the reason for this book but that they’re hijacked by Boylan’s most delightful memories, many of which are so evocative and universal, they feel as though they were pulled out of some kind of Late Baby Boomer Handbook. You might not even notice that dogs are just half this book, the other half being a funny, awkward hike toward insight, love, and love of.

This is the sort of book that you want to last just a few more pages. It’s trite to say that you’ll laugh, you’ll cry — but you will. It’s one to read with a furry baby lying on your feet.

For right now, “Good Boy” is good to order. : :

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