QNotes, May 18, 2018

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inside

news & features

arts. entertainment. news. views.

4 Study researches hookups    6 News Notes: Regional Briefs   8 News Notes: U.S./World Briefs

a&e / life&style 10 Summer fashion trends

Fashion heats up for summer

Summer fashion trends and spotlight on Charlotte’s local fashion scene page 10

more news & features …

14 Tell Trinity

Primary election nets new Mecklenburg Sheriff May 9 - goqnotes.com/ 59847/ North Carolina congressional races highlighted for possible national impact May 8 - goqnotes.com/59831/

FBI now assisting in murder of S.C. trans woman May 3 - goqnotes.com/59718/

17 Health and Wellness 18 Q Events Calendar

Survey: N.C. one of only 6 states where majority doesn’t support marriage equality May 2 - goqnotes.com/59721/

19 Our People: Gabe Harrison

13 Legal Eagles

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Pat McCrory bemoans lack of white in local politics arts.‘diversity’ entertainment. news. views. May 10 - goqnotes.com/59860/

Thousands celebrate at Out! Raleigh festival May 7 - goqnotes.com/ 59824/

11 Local Charlotte fashion

opinions & views

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online

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Photo Credit: Victoria Pickering, Flickr, CC license

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Meet Gabe Harrison

Trying times?

A local fashion star sits down for ‘Our People’ page 19

Legal advice on divorce, survivorship and aging page 13

Citing growth, Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams searching for new CEO May 1 - goqnotes.com/59704/

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Sex Study

The six kinds of gay ‘straight’ hookups Greensboro researcher and Missouri colleague study the same-sex experiences of straight-identified college students

I qnotes connect arts. entertainment. news. views. goqnotes.com twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue

Matt Comer, Torie Dominguez, Elizabeth T. Hodges, Jack Kirven, Lainey Millen, Trinity

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The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBTQ and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBTQ life and social justice issues. Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Managing Editor: Jim Yarbrough, x201, editor@goqnotes.com Assoc. Editor: Lainey Millen, specialassignments@goqnotes.com Social Media Manager: Matt Comer, matt@goqnotes.com Copy Editor: Torie Dominguez, torie@goqnotes.com Staff Writer: Matt Comer, matt@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen, x205, production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.

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f you took even a cursory look at the most popular gay blogs and websites at the end of April, a titillating array of headlines popped to the surface. “Straight men have a lot of gay sex, study shows.” “A lot of straight college students are having gay sex.” “Straight guys absolutely cannot stop having gay sex, study finds.” Cool your horses, say the study’s authors. The headlines — as curiousity-inducing as they may be — don’t necessarily reflect the reality of a recent study, partly out of Greensboro, N.C., detailing new facts on same-sex encounters among self-identified heterosexual college students. Dr. Arielle Kuperberg, an associate professor of sociology at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro and Dr. Alicia Walker, assistant professor of sociology at Missouri State University, recently released the results of research they did on college students, sexual identity and sexual behavior. And it’s not at all like what the gay blogs would have you believe. “There were some things reported that were just not true,” Kuperberg said with a laugh when asked about the recent media coverage. The sociologists’ research, digging deeper into a larger survey of some 24,000 college students, found that one out of four women and one out of eight men whose last “hookup” was with a same-sex partner also said they identified their sexual orientation as straight. That revealing fact was enough for pop culture blogs to run with their headlines, but all is not what it may seem in the media coverage resulting from the research paper. “I think we make a lot of assumptions about sexual identity and what it means along with our sexual behavior,” Kuperberg said. “But I think it’s important to actually do the research that challenges those assumptions and makes people say, ‘Hey, maybe what I think isn’t real.’” Kuperberg and Walker’s study found, primarily, that sexual experimentation and students’ willingness to experiment is quite common among young people in college — perhaps, even, more common than we initially thought. More importantly, that sexual experimentation has very little to do with the labels people currently use or may one day use in the future to describe their identity. “There are going to be some people who may have future hookups or gay sex experiences or relationships and will change their identity,” Kuperberg said of the students, “but at this point, the point at which we studied them‚ most haven’t come to a conclusion as to how they think about themselves.” For the overwhelming majority of students, researchers say, experimentation is just that. “People experiment with things that aren’t their first preference just to try it out,” Kuperberg said, noting that experimentation or other random experiences don’t necessarily reflect a person’s true identity. Some stu-

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by Matt Comer :: qnotes staff writer dents wanted to explore and liked it, she said. “And what we found was that some people didn’t like it and said, ‘That’s not for me.’” A study of experimentation Kuperberg’s and Walker’s research, published in the Journal of Sexual Behavior, is not so much, if at all, a study of “closeted” or “down low” lesbians and gay men. The researchers say their work actually reflects a critical look into incredibly common sexual behavior and experimentation, offering clues as to how individuals think of sex, sexuality and identity. “The response [to the study] has been interesting to me,” says Walker. Walker’s been intrigued by how the public has reacted, including acquaintances who reacted negatively to the idea that supposed straight people are having gay sex without taking on the label associated with a gay identity. But Walker thinks the study isn’t really about labels, and other recent research shows that many young people are even beginning to drop labels entirely. Walker says the study’s most important finding is that experimentation is overwhelmingly common. “The big takeaway should be it’s okay for me to experiment to figure out what my identity should be,” she says. “It’s not been received that way, and that’s not been people’s response to it.” Walker’s right. Visit the comment sections where news coverage of the study has been shared and you’ll see a plethora of admonitions judgmentally calling out young people as hypocrites or simply too scared to “come out.” Other commenters latch on to the gay, cultural fascination — or, even, fantasy — of seducing so-called straight men into same-sex encounters. It’s not surprising that gay pop culture blogs would pick up the pair’s study and, well, just run with it, especially given the longstanding cultural fascination with straight guys who might be “secretly gay.” Kuperberg and Walker touched on this cultural fascination in their paper, citing the phenomenon of “closeted” or “on the down low” men who have sex with other men. One look at any number of gay porn sites and it’s easy to see this fascination played out to its full extent. Some producers have even made their entire careers creating pornographic films entirely centered on the fantasy of hookups with supposedly straight men. But just because straight men are hooking up with other guys doesn’t mean they’re not straight, researchers say. It’s important to actually know what’s going on in society, instead of relying on culture, myth and media to inform our view of real people’s behaviors. “There are so many myths in society about what people are doing and what people think other people are doing,” Kuperberg said. “Those myths don’t match up to reality.”

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Those myths apply to women, too, though in different ways. A large number of female respondents seemed to engage in what researchers call “performative bisexuality.” “[The performative bisexuality category] were all women who hooked up with other women in plain sight, at parties,” Kuperberg said. The researchers found that these women had made out with or engaged in other sexual behavior, primarily in public, to attract men’s attention or experiment with same-sex hookups in a manner more socially accepted in, say, a college party scene, for example. What’s a “hookup”? And if you’re wondering why a “makeout sesh” at a college frat party constitutes a “hookup,” you’re not alone. In fact, that’s one of the main reasons why so many of those pop culture blogs got their reporting on the study so wrong. They assumed a “hookup” meant sex, but researchers specifically chose to use a broad definition for the word. That’s partly, Walker says, because so many people have different ideas of what constitutes a hookup. It can vary from person to person, or culturally from campus to campus or city to city. A hookup could be making out, oral sex or intercourse or any number of other sexual activities. Part of the purpose of the original, larger study was finding out exactly what people meant by the word. “We found out that only about 40 percent included sex in the definition; the majority did not,” Kuperberg said. “If you only focus on the sex, you’re missing a lot of sexual encounters that have sexual things going on but not full-on sex. Those things can still be activities that put you at risk for disease transmission.” Kuperberg added, “When people think of the relationships they have with people, they don’t limit those relationships to just people they’ve had sex with.” And, so, the pair of researchers didn’t either. “It’s important to know what kinds of relationships people are forming, and if you only focus on sex, then you are leaving out a lot of other kinds of relationships,” Kuperberg said. Six distinct hookups So, what exactly did the researchers find? For the most part, they say, the research backs up many of the theories advanced from a variety of disparate studies on sexual identity formation and sexual experimentation. “I like that we found that all the theories are true,” Kuperberg explained. “Looking into previous research, there are quite different explanations for all this behavior. There’s a set of papers on black men on the down low, then another set of papers mostly on white men in the closet. Then there’s another set looking at identity development, college hookups and performative bisexuality. All of these articles weren’t citing each other or talking to each other, but all describing the same groups. We found that all the theories are true.” Walker and Kuperberg’s final analysis found six distinct groups among the students they studied: 1. ‘Wanting More’ The largest of their identified groups, Kuperberg and Walker found that 29 percent of students enjoyed the experience and were the most likely to have had prior same-sex anal or vaginal sex. More than two-thirds had some kind of genital contact during the encounter and had the second-highest desire for a later relationship with their partner. 2. ‘Drunk and Curious’ Twenty-two percent of students had had little prior same-sex experience and were “especially likely” to have been drinking before or during the encounter, with 72 percent saying they had been drunk during the experience. This group was also the most likely to identify as politically liberal and had positive views of premarital sex and consensual sex generally. Interestingly, though this group had the highest rate (80 percent) of anal or

Researchers have found that same-sex exploration and experimentation among college students is increasingly common. Photo Credit: javiindy via Adobe Stock

vaginal sex and “somewhat” enjoyed the experience, the overwhelming majority did not want a future relationship with their last same-sex partner. 3. ‘Little Enjoyment’ In this group, more than 80 percent of students said they didn’t enjoy the encounter. This group also had the lowest level of penetrative sexual activity, with most opting not to proceed past kissing or groping. 4. ‘Maybe for Show’ Twenty-one percent of respondents — all women — fell into what researchers have called the “maybe for show” category, aligning closely to ideas on performative bisexuality. Students in this group were the most likely to have been drinking during the encounter. 5. ‘Loved it, but Religious’ Comprised of nearly all women (92 percent), this group seemed to enjoy their same-sex experience, but were also highly religious, with 45 percent saying they attended religious services at least once a month. Their specific religious views on homosexuality were mixed, and this group had the highest rate (71 percent) of enjoyment for the experience. Kuperberg said this group was the likeliest to one day in the future change their sexual identity. “They tended to be younger,” Kuperberg said. “Two-thirds of them were 18, they were freshmen. Maybe as they get older and more separated from their home communities, more confident and have more experience, they may change their identity.” 6. ‘Just not who I can be’ The last and final group was the smallest, coming in at only seven percent, but perhaps the most intriguing. The researchers said this final group “comprised those whose characteristics corresponded with the theory related to internalized homophobia.” These students were “almost universally likely to state homosexual relations were almost always or always wrong,” with 98 percent agreeing with that sentiment. Still, they were engaging in the experimentation anyway. “These are people I probably wouldn’t say are experimenters,” Kuperberg said. “Usually, I think of an experimenter as someone who thinks, ‘This seems fun and I don’t have anything against it, so I guess I’ll try it out.’ But this group, 98 percent said homosexual relationships were wrong. These are people who I think have an internal conflict between their beliefs and their attractions.”

Busting Stereotypes For both Walker and Kuperberg, their research represents exciting new ways to help bust long-held myths about sexual behavior and ways to help create healthier environments for discussing and exploring sexuality. Kuperberg was happy the research tore into the cultural myths surrounding black men and “down low” sex. “One of the first things we looked at was race and whether there were any racial differences on whether black men were more likely to be in this [‘down low’ or closeted] category,” she said. “We found there weren’t any racial differences at all.” And that’s important, Kuperberg said, especially for real-life implications surrounding public health intervention. For Walker, the study was a breath of fresh air, exposing new ideas on how people actually relate to one another, despite the labels society thrusts on people. “The implications really are that the social constraints we have around sexual behavior and sexual identity, that those are stronger on identity than they are behavior,” Walker explained. “In other words, it’s more important from a social pressure perspective that I claim a heterosexual identity than it is for me to police my own behavior to only be heterosexual.” Walker thinks that if society can break down the walls of this social-sexual pressure, that we can each have more healthy discourse on what sexuality means for our lives. “Our sexual drives, our interests, our attractions to folks are clearly much stronger than [what label society puts on us],” she said. “This speaks really to the heart of the conversation we’re having about sexual identity and what it means.” Walker concluded: “We live in this society where heterosexuality is the norm, but if you’re somebody feeling as though you’re not as heterosexual ‘as I’m supposed to be,’ I think it’s important to know other folks are doing this, too, and they’re just not talking about it.” And that’s exactly what Walker wants people to do — start talking. “The reality is that most people do experiment in one form or another,” she said. “We’ve got to get away from this idea that it’s horrifying or shameful that people would experiment. People do. Sometimes it means something. Other times it doesn’t mean that much at all to people. And all that’s okay.” : :

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news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

BOA’s Bessant receives award

No event is ever complete without the assistance of volunteers. The organizers encourage those who wish to lend a hand to do so. Sign up online and show Pride for the Rowan County festival. In other news, Salisbury Pride now has a new app so that supporters can stay up to date on what the group is doing. It is available for download at Google Play and the Apple App Store. info: salisburypride.com.

PFLAG’s Stoupe awards presented

University of North Carolina at Charlotte Board of Trustees Chair Joe Price, Cathy Bessant and Chancellor Philip L. Dubois.

Triad Pride fest slated

SALISBURY, N.C. — The Salisbury Pride Festival will be held on June 23, 11 a.m.-5 p.m., in the historic district at E. Fisher St. and S. Lee St. The free event is family friendly and consists of entertainment, vendor booths and more. As of press time, the organization was still finalizing its entertainment list which will consist

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of local artists and performers. Check the website for more information as the event nears. The organization is still seeking sponsors, vendors and contributions. Sponsorship levels are $3,500/main stage, $2,000/side stage, $1,500/platinum, $750/gold, $300/rainbow, $100/supporting and patron at any amount. Details on each level is available on the Salisbury Pride Festival website. Vendor booths are $50/non-profit and $75/ for profit and applications are available online.

Keys come to the Triad

WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. — The 9th annual Key West in Winston-Salem, hosted by OUT at the Movies, will take place on June 2, 7-11 p.m. Enjoy cocktails, island-inspired food, female impersonators and male dancers. Entertainers will include Sassy Black, Andrea “Chocolate” Carlisle, Aurora Carlisle, Jaeel Cheek, Shofonda Jade-Addams, Petite Dee Jonville, Ari Nucci, Paisley Parque, Casper Rayne and others. Contributions and tips will benefit OUT at the Movies and the OUT at the Movies Int’l LGBT Film Fest. A portion of the proceeds will be shared with New Leash of Life. To receive an invitation and/or for more information, call 336-918-0902 or visit the website. info: outatthemovieswinston.org.

Trans conference hits Triad

GREENSBORO, N.C. — Greensboro Area Health Education Center will host the Transgender Care Conference: Improving Care Across the Lifespan on June 8, 8:30 a.m.-4:15 p.m., at Moses Cone Hospital, AHEC Classroom 1-3, 1121 N. Church St. This educational activity has been planned for interdisciplinary care team members to gain knowledge on best practices for the care of transgender patients across the lifespan. Faculty will provide evidence-based information designed to assist the care provider to expand their knowledge base and improve patient care throughout the stages of human development.

Triangle Michele, Criss headline tour

DURHAM, N.C. — Actors and musicians Lea Michele and Darren Criss will perform at the Durham Performing Arts Center, 123 Vivian St., on June 30 at 8 p.m. The two performers gained popularity when they starred in television’s gay-favorite “Glee.” They will do songs from Broadway, “Glee” and original songs from their recent solo albums. “We’ve always had so much fun performing together for one-off gigs, so it’s high time we took that show on the road,” Michele and Criss said in a joint statement. “We share so much musical history together between ‘Glee,’ Broadway and our own solo projects, so it will be fun to put it all together for our fans in one big show.” Michele has taken her talent on the road, more recently with her “Intimate Evening With” tour. Criss, who has previously released albums, was recently seen in the FX drama “The Assassination of Gianni Versace,” playing the character of Andrew Cunanan, the person responsible for killing the fashion icon. Tickets range from $34.50-$99.50 standard admission and from $299-$499 for silver or gold meet and greet package and are available online at ticketmaster.com. The following day, the two will perform aat 7:30 p.m. in Charlotte, N.C. at Ovens Auditorium. Visit auditoriumcharlotte.com for ticket prices and concert details. Then on July 18, 7:30 p.m., the Indigo Girls will be in concert with special guest The War and Treaty at the center. Amy Ray and Emily Sailers have been a staple in the LGBTQ music scene. They even have lent their support to numerous social causes. Tickets range from $32.50 to $49.50 for standard admission and from $72 to $404 for verified resale tickets and are available from ticketmaster.com. info: dpacnc.com.

Photo Credit: Tour Promo

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Cathy Bessant, chief operations and technology officer at Bank of America and a member of the company’s executive management team, is the 2018 recipient of the University of North Carolina (UNC) at Charlotte’s Distinguished Service Award. She was honored during a luncheon on May 7 on the university’s campus. “UNC Charlotte is proud to honor Cathy Bessant, a woman who truly epitomizes the term ‘distinguished service,’ as our 2018 Distinguished Service Award recipient,” said Chancellor Philip L. Dubois. “She has served in exemplary fashion in a number of ways through her work with one of the largest employers in our state, as well as through her personal involvement with a number of community organizations and institutions, including UNC Charlotte.” Since 2010, Bessant has led Global Technology and Operations for Bank of America. Active in her community and region, Bessant chairs the North Tryon Vision Plan Advisory Committee, a public planning initiative to develop and establish a vision to catalyze and sustain growth and development in the North Tryon area of Uptown Charlotte. She served as chair of the Foundation for the Carolinas and has worked tirelessly to support Charlotte-Mecklenburg schools, especially through the CMS involvement Group, which studied models of philanthropic involvement in public education that have proven successful in other communities. Bessant is also a board member for North Carolina’s Council for Commerce, Business and Industry. Additionally, Bessant serves as executive sponsor for the LGBT Executive Council at the bank, made up of global LGBTQ executives and established to encourage visibility of leaders who are out at work. She also serves as the executive sponsor of the LGBT Pride Global Ally program, which includes more than 21,800 members across the company globally, and in 2013, she received the Out & Equal Champion Award, which recognizes a non-LGBTQ person who played a pivotal role in championing equal treatment of LGBTQ employees on the job. When HB2 was introduced, Bessant spoke on behalf of the bank and helped lead the way for other companies to express their opposition. Bessant was awarded the Order of the Long Leaf Pine for her civic and business contributions to the state of North Carolina and, received the Women in Business Lifetime Achievement Award from the Charlotte Business Journal. Her service to UNC Charlotte includes serving as a trustee and chair of the Board of Trustees Committee on Audit, Compliance and Risk Management have been significant. Bessant has also been a strong advocate for women’s athletics and chaired the university’s “Let Me Play” campaign, supporting the role of athletic participation in the development of young women. info: uncc.edu.

GREENSBORO, N.C. — PFLAG Greensboro held its Carter Stroupe Memorial Scholarship Reception on May 15 at College Park Baptist Church, 1601 Walker Ave. The scholarship committee chose five high school seniors who demonstrated “courage and leadership” as self-identified LGBTQ or straight-allied students in their schools and community. They represent four different schools in Guilford County. Recipients, who received $1,000 each, were: Ceadez Caulder, Greensboro, Grimsley High School, with plans to attend the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill; Vivian (Ian) Drewery, Gibsonville, Weaver Academy, and plans to attend Appalachian State University; Brett Elliott, Greensboro, Northern High School, plans to attend the University of North Carolina at Greensboro; Sydney Pierce, High Point, Early College at Guilford, who has been accepted to Reed College, University of Rochester, Illinois Institute of Technology, the University of North Carolina at Asheville and Willamette University; and a fifth recipient who chose not to be listed in the organization’s newsletter but was scheduled to attend the event as of press time. info: pflaggreensboro.org.

This activity is intended for primary care providers, nurses, mental health care providers, other clinicians and allied health personnel who work with transgender patients in any healthcare setting. Course faculty will provide a presentation based on evidence and best care practices. Some educational sessions on the agenda are: Care of the Gender Diverse Child and Adolescent; Voice Transition Therapy and Aging With Pride: Meeting the Needs of the Aging LGBT Patient. Event fees are $100/non-Cone Health employee and $90/Cone Health employee. Registration is available online. info: bit.ly/2rHuj3d.


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Kimer nets alumni award

RALEIGH, N.C. — Business consultant Stan Kimer received the LGBTQIA Alum of the Year Award during Georgia Institute of Technology’s Sixth Annual Lavender Graduation and Fourth Annual Lavender Awards ceremony on April 19 in Atlanta, Ga. The award recognized Kimer for his contribution to maing the university a safer and more inclusive environment for LGBTQIA students, faculty, staff, and alumni. The event was sponsored by the LGBTQIA Resource Center. In other news, Kimer was presented with one of U.S. Figure Skating’s “Get Up” Champion Awards his skating club’s annual meeting. info: lgbtqia.gatech.edu.

SAGE cooks up a party

RALEIGH, N.C. — SAGE Raleigh will hold a Memorial Day bash on May 28, 1:30 p.m., at the LGBT Center of Raleigh, 324 S. Harrington St. SAGE will furnish the burgers (regular and vegetarian), buns, condiments, beverages and accessories. Attendees are asked to bring a salad, a side or a dessert to share. Food will be served at 2 p.m. DJ Chuck Grimm will provide entertainment with his sing-along “machine.” An RSVP is requested and is available online at bit.ly/2wFQThC. info: lgbtcenterofraleigh.com.

ASO hosts ‘love’ event

RALEIGH, N.C. — The Triangle Empowerment Center will hold its Power of Love cocktails and couture event on June 9, 6 p.m., at The View Lounge at Legends, 119 S. Harrington St. The evening showcases lingerie, couture swimwear and more. Attendees can win free door prizes, enjoy food and drink specials, receive PrEP information, as well as STI/HIV screenings. There will be a $100 cash prize for the “most scandalous outfit and model.” Admission is free with HIV/STI testing. All others are $5/singles and $8/couples. The event is sponsored by Gilead and Duke Health. Contact the center at 800-806-3558 for more information. info: triempowerment.org.

Human Library ready for check out

DURHAM, N.C. — Durham County Library’s Adult and Humanities Programming will present The Human Library-Durham on June 2, 2 p.m., at the South Regional Library, 4505 S. Alston Ave. The focus on the event is to ask the question, “What if a book could look you in the eye

and answer your questions?” Real people will serve as “books” who are on loan for one-on-one conversations about their life experiences. Diverse volunteers from all across Durham will talk with “readers” and answer questions on topics including: religious beliefs, sexuality, ethnicity, occupation, lifestyle, social status, political conviction, and health and disability. Local organizer Tom Nevels heard about the concept on a WUNC radio broadcast and began to work toward building a Human Library in Durham in the days and weeks following the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando, Fla. The event was held twice last fall and resonated deeply with many volunteers and participants. “I love it! I think person to person conversations, where you can be curious and honest are priceless” remarked one reader. “We could use more of these conversations in our world.” Nevels added, “This event focuses on people who have experienced stereotype or prejudice getting the chance to tell their stories and LGBT voices are crucial. I organized the event twice last year and was able to welcome gay, lesbian, trans, and pan volunteers to share.” The first Human Library was developed in 2000 in Denmark by youth seeking to encourage dialogue about violence. More than 1,000 readers took advantage leaving books, librarians, organizers and readers stunned at the impact of the Human Library. Since then it has been presented in more than 70 countries around the world. To learn more about the event or to volunteer or support the effort, email Nevels at humanlibrarydurham@gmail.com. info: facebook.com/groups/humanlibrarydurham. humanlibrary.org.

diagnosed with HIV are now able to live full, productive lives with proper medical care and support. Now, fewer people are progressing from HIV to an AIDS diagnosis. The name change process began over a year ago and involved feedback from focus groups. With a more encompassing brand, the 25-year-old agency is now poised to provide continued service to those living with HIV in Charleston, Berkeley and Dorchester Counties. The stigma facing people living with HIV is a very real concern for AIDS services organizations. Removing “AIDS” from the organization’s name not only recognizes that fewer people are progressing to an AIDS diagnosis, but it also eliminates some of the stigma felt by those using the organization’s services. “We know the stigma surrounding HIV and AIDS is very real, so changing the name of our organization is one small way we can combat that stigma and help our clients and the community as a whole,” said Jason Kirk, director of development and marketing. Palmetto Community Care also has expanded its services and outreach each year, particularly in the areas of prevention and education. Earlier this year, the organization announced it was adding a mobile testing van to its prevention toolkit. This new initiative, aimed at reaching rural and high-needs communities, was made possible by a $50,000 grant from the Elton John AIDS Foundation. For information on how to schedule a stop with the mobile testing van, contact Adam Weaver, prevention manager, at 843-747-2273.

Western Chorus celebrates diversity

ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Womansong will perform its “We Are One” concert celebrating unity within diversity on June 1, 7:30 p.m., and June 2, 3 p.m., at Warren Wilson Presbyterian Church, 101 Chapel Dr., Swannanoa, N.C. “Now is a critical time in our nation to celebrate unity within diversity, to be bold in our acknowledgement and appreciation of all people. Our songs powerfully remind us that everyone is worthy,” said Artistic Director Althea Gonzalez. The concert will include songs from Sweet Honey in the Rock, Lady Gaga, and Katy Perry, as well as two pieces arranged and composed by Womansong accompanist, Lytingale, including a medley highlighting Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young’s “Teach Your Children.” Funds raised at the concert help fund the choir’s New Start Program which helps local women escape domestic abuse, avoid eviction, hold onto jobs and attend regional colleges. Tickets are $20/adult and $10/children under 12 and are available online through May 30. info: womansong.org.

South Carolina LAS creates new identity

NORTH CHARLESTON, S.C. — Lowcountry AIDS Services has rebranded itself and is now known as Palmetto Community Care. The new name and logo were unveiled at a celebration on May 3. The change was prompted by the agency’s desire to keep pace with the evolving HIV and AIDS epidemic, the organization shared. Those

In January 2018, the organization recorded the most positive HIV tests in its history. Of those who came in for a free HIV test in January, seven tested positive for HIV. Underscoring the issue that HIV is disproportionately impacting youth, all seven of those people were under the age of 30. In all of 2017, 20 people tested positive for HIV. The agency tests an average of 1,600 people annually. Free, confidential HIV/STI testing: 8:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays and until 6 p.m. on Wednesdays. No appointment is needed. info: palmettocommunitycare.org.

Regional Advocacy day seeks participants

RALEIGH, N.C. — Equality North Carolina will hold it Day of Advocacy on June 19, 8:30 a.m.-2 p.m., at the Museum of Natural History, 11 W. Jones St. The day will be filled with training sessions designed to hone skills in promoting statewide LGBTQ visibility and protecting North Carolina’s LGBTQ community. To join in, sign up online. Participants will learn how to build and share their story and to communicate with elected officials confidently in live encounters at the North Carolina General Assembly. Afterward the new skills can be taken back to local communities in order to work on equality initiatives. Contributions to the organization are being accepted, especially from those who will be

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unable to attend the advocacy day event. info: equalitync.org.

Governor’s budget praised by NCAAN

RALEIGH, N.C. — NC AIDS Action Network has released a statement praising Gov. Roy Cooper’s 2018-2019 budget. The budget unveiled a $9 million increase in funding for the North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services to address the opioid and heroin epidemic, including specific language to fund seven staff members to address increased incidences of HIV and Hepatitis C associated with the epidemic. “We applaud the Governor for including increased funding to address the increased rates of HIV and Hepatitis C due to the opioid and heroin epidemic,’ said Lee Storrow, network executive director. “We can end new HIV transmissions and cure Hepatitis C in our state, but only if we have the resources to do it.” He added, “This budget appropriation is important because it helps set the tone for the budget debate in the North Carolina General Assembly. Though the budget passed by the Republican controlled General Assembly is likely to look different than the Governor’s, we know hepatitis and HIV treatment and prevention is a bipartisan topic that we can find support from both sides of the aisle. Last year, they legislature approved an appropriation of $600,000 to address Hepatitis testing and linkage to the cure, and we are hoping to build on that success in 2018. “ It is estimated that there are over 36,000 people living with HIV and over 100,000 lining with Hepatitis C in North Carolina. “We need increased state appropriations if we are going to end these epidemics,” Storrow concluded. info: ncaan.org.

Campus Scene Camp registration open

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The Camp Pride Leadership Academy and LGBTQ Advisor Academy will be held from July 18-22 at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte, 9201 University City Blvd. Undergraduate students from two-year, four-year, rural, southern, historical black colleges and universities, tribal colleges and universities, and religiously affiliated colleges and universities come to Camp Pride from all over the country. Advisor Academy for professionals consists of advisors, faculty, staff and professionals joining a separate track during Camp Pride. Students will be housed at Hunt Hall in suites consisting of four bedrooms and shared living space. Full details are available online. Camp Pride early registration is available until May 25 at $1,034.50. Afterward the rate goes up to $1,184.50. Advisor Academy rate is $1,034.50. Those seeking scholarship assistance should visit campuspride.org/money. Visit the Campus Pride website for full details for the five-day event. info: campuspride.org/camppride. Have news or other information? Send your press releases and updates for inclusion in our News Notes: editor@goqnotes.com.

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news notes: u.s./world compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

‘Survivor’ nets GLAAD award

visibility on television matters because for many it is the only chance to glimpse their future. And to see that it is very bright.” “Reality television has long been at the forefront of LGBTQ inclusion on the small screen, and ‘Survivor: Game Changers’ continued that legacy with its thoughtful and responsible handling of Zeke Smith’s story,” said

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GLAAD President and CEO Sarah Kate Ellis. “By ensuring that Zeke would have the opportunity to share his story in his own words, the show sparked a national conversation about the trans community.” A full listing of awardees in each category is available online. info: glaad.org.

QUICK HITS ——————————————————————————————

‘Survivor: Game Changers’ won the Outstanding Reality Program category at the 2018 GLAAD Media Awards Rising Stars Luncheon. Photo Credit: GLAAD YouTube video still

NEW YORK, N.Y. — GLAAD announced at its 29th Annual GLAAD Media Awards Rising Stars Luncheon that CBS’ “Survivor: Game Changers” received the GLAAD Media Award in the Outstanding Reality Program category. The Rising Stars event empowers and invests in the next generation of LGBTQ change makers, whose advocacy is changing their local communities and the culture at large. Television personality Ross Mathews hosted the event that included an opening duet with Melissa Etheridge and Adam Lambert celebrating the 25th anniversary of her breakthrough album “YES I AM” by performing a new arrangement of her song “I’m The Only One.” Special guests at the event included Robin Roberts, Laverne Cox, Alexis Bledel Lea Michele, Asia Kate Dillon, Nyle DiMarco, Angelica Ross, Blair Imani, Frankie Grande, Auli’i Cravalho, Janet Mock, Stephanie Rice, Tommy Dorfman, Amiyah Scott, Brad Goreski and Zeke Smith, among others. “Survivor: Game Changers” was nominated alongside Viceland’s “Gaycation” with Ellen Page, TLC’s “I Am Jazz,” VH1’s “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” and NBC’s “The Voice.” Accepting the award on behalf of “Survivor: Game Changers” was contestant

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Zeke Smith. “Survivor: Game Changers” was Smith’s second consecutive season, and during a heated tribal council, another player told the tribe that Smith was a transgender man and accused him of being deceptive simply because he had not disclosed his gender history to the other players. Smith’s tribemates immediately understood that Smith was not deceptive simply because he played as his authentic self and that outing someone is wrong. GLAAD worked closely with CBS and Smith to ensure that when the episode aired, Smith would have the opportunity to speak for himself about his experience. The award was presented by singer Jackie Evancho, her transgender advocate sister Juliet Evancho and television personality Frankie Grande. While accepting the award, Smith said: “My grand public outing made global headlines. Together, we changed millions of people’s perceptions of transgender people. We shattered stereotypes. We created a worldwide conversation about privacy and respect. Over the past year, I’ve met a lot of trans kids. Transitioning in middle and high school is hard. I see these kids struggling to retain hope that they’ll have an equal shot in the world. LGBTQ

OutOfOffice.com has completed an acquisition of Out4You Ltd. (TravelGay.com) to become what some consider the world’s largest LGBTQ travel company. info: outofoffice.com.

equality and legal protection of transgender individuals. The study also found that exposure to images and information about transgender individuals helped reduce transphobia. info: williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu.

Transgender Chelsea Manning will take the stage at the seventh edition of C2 Montréal and will focus on addressing the tech industry’s gender discrimination problem. info: c2montreal.com.

Georgia’s DeKalb County State Court Judge Mike Jacobs has come out as bisexual, The Georgia Voice shared. Project Q has previously reported that Jacobs emailed its site with a statement identifying himself as bisexual. Jacobs is the first openly LGBTQ trials judge in his county. In related news, singer Janelle Monae has come out as a “queer black woman,” the Voice reported. info: bit.ly/2IgfY8o.

On May 24, The Economist Events will host its third annual Pride and Prejudice Summit, a 24-hour event hosted by The Economist Events across three cities — Hong Kong, China, London, U.K. and New York, N.Y. This year’s summit will continue to challenge and push forward the global conversation around LGBTQ diversity and inclusion, with a focus on evaluating how advocacy can translate these discussions into meaningful action to improve the legal rights and societal treatment of LGBTQ individuals worldwide. Among speakers is North Carolina’s Rev. William Barber. info: economist.com. After years in the candidacy process, Reconciling Ministries Network’s communications associate, Brett Roes, has been offered a full-time appointment as a licensed local pastor. His last day with the network will be at the end of May. info: rmnetwork.org. Grindr hosted their first award ceremony, the Zero Filter Awards, on May 2 in Los Angeles, Calif. The award ceremony honored LGBTQ creators, makers, activists and influencers who have had a positive impact in their communities and throughout the fashion, design, music and other industries. info: grindr.com. A new study examining the relationship between prejudice and support for the rights of marginalized groups found that reducing transphobia increases an individual’s support for the

The Israel Ministry of Tourism announced Bravo executive producer and talk and radio show host Andy Cohen will serve as the official International Ambassador of Tel Aviv Pride 2018 which takes place June 3-10. “I’ve always wanted to go to Israel and can’t think of a better occasion to get me there,” said Andy Cohen. info: israel.travel. facebook.com/tlvpride. Transilient is seeking funds to bring younger assistants on its 2018 tour. info: basilvaughnsoper.com. Former Cuban President Raul Castro’s daughter Mariela has taken on the cause of advocating for LGBTQ rights in Cuba, including marriage, The Georgia Voice reported. info: bit.ly/2IkfgD3. MSMGF has announced the release of “Unity in Diversity, A Case Study on the Achievements, Good Practices and Lessons Learned from the Consortium of MSM and Transgender Networks.” info: msmgf.org. Registration is now open for the Reconciling Ministries Network “For Everyone Born,” the 2018 Convocation of the Love Your Neighbor Coalition slated for July 26-29 in St. Louis, Mo. info: bit.ly/2GdJJR6.


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Summer Fashion

Top trends for summer 2018 Bold, colorful, eclectic and more color stories by Torie Dominguez :: qnotes staff writer

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t’s finally warm! And now’s the time to make your wardrobe “cool” during the hot days ahead. But figuring out what’s hot and what’s not can be challenging. qnotes has made that easier for you with the following top trends for the summer. Pastels

So-called “millennial pink” is still very much a “thing,” but it’s far from the only soft hue in evidence among designers’ spring/summer 2018 offerings. Cool mint greens and sky blues shared runway space with pale yellow and sunset shades of rose and tangerine at Paris Fashion Week, while lavender proved a particular favorite.

Baggy Silhouettes Trousers, shirts and jackets all exhibit more generous proportions this season. The roomier cuts evoke breezy summer days and pair perfectly with lightweight fabrics like linen and raw cotton. Some fashion devotees would no doubt be willing to spend August sweltering in a skintight black wool bodysuit if Versace told them to, but fortunately for them, 2018 will demand no such sacrifice.

Fringe It is a truth universally acknowledged that any person who survived the year 2017 must be in want of something, anything, to lighten the mood. To that end, some of us have dived headfirst into the joyous absurdity of major, major fringe. From maxi skirts built of layers upon layers of dancing crayon hues, to a hint of swish on an otherwise conservative minaudiere, this trend offers something for everyone. At the very least, find a piece and try it on. Do a little twirl. And see if it doesn’t make you smile.

Checks Anything and everything from a bold tartan skirt and vest set to a subdued Burberry-esque pattern dominated by warm beige and caramel goes right now. If you dig this look but don’t want to go overboard, you can’t beat a classic checked cap. Vertical Stripes Arguably one of the easier summer fads for us mere mortals to pull off, this one can be embraced with as much subtlety or drama as you desire. Throw a pinstripe blazer over a patterned tee and relaxed trousers in broad bands of black and white if that’s the look that calls out to you — or just let your socks or an equally on-trend crossbody bag do all the talking.

Outdoor Wear Technical outerwear like windbreakers and cargo jackets are the fashionable go-to items for when the weather threatens to deny us those Carolina blue skies.

Tropical Shirts The classic Hawaiian shirt is thrilled to be back and embraced without apparent irony. More designers are now opting for a double breast pocket look, bringing the resulting garments closer and closer to the traditional Cuban guayabera. Add the requisite rows of micro-pleats front and back, perhaps even the lower front pockets, and those of us who can’t remember ever seeing their abuelo (grandfather) without this perennial favorite, will swear we can almost hear the clack of dominoes and smell that impossibly rich Cuban coffee on the summer breeze.

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The ‘80s A world still firmly in the grip of ‘90s nostalgia is about to turn back time even farther. It’s not just the proliferation of wide-leg trousers that call to mind the era of Reagan, either. Vintage-inspired prints, statement belts, and even (at times mercilessly boxy) shoulder pads are enjoying a return to the spotlight. Approach this trend with caution.


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Sparkles Jewel-toned, head-totoe sequined dresses with cinched waists rule the runway, though, as always, it takes a bit of creativity to bring such a dramatic look from the catwalk to your neighborhood sidewalk. Glittering princess shoes are a playful, wearable solution. You can also give beaded accessories a try and keep that party spirit going all day long.

Colorful Suits Trendy pastels make a big impact here, and not only in the men’s collections. Non-traditional hues and the season’s roomier cuts combine for a whimsical take on business attire, or a playful dose of formality in your casual wear. This look works best with a favorite T-shirt and statement sneakers, or a plain tee and low-key loafers.

Pastels: Ferragamo, $650 Baggy Silhouettes: Craig Green, $595 Outer Wear: Giorgio Armani, $3,795 Tropical Shirts: Louis Vuitton, $2,070 Fringe: Loewe, $1,350 Checks: Tom Ford, $535 Vertical Stripes: Kenzo, $240 The ‘80s: Gucci, $980 Sparkles: Marc Jacobs, $15,000 Colorful Suits: Paul Smith, $1,450 Ruffles: Alexander McQueen, $2,995 (Photo Credit: left, page 10) tropical top, black skirt, Victoria Pickering, Flickr. CC license (Photo Credit: right, page 11) vertical stripe dress, Victoria Pickering, Flickr. CC license.

Ruffles Ruffled hems, seams, collars and embellishments bring undeniable romance to a long, flowy floral gown. High cinched waists and three-quarter length sleeves complete an Edwardian look that fits 2018 surprisingly well. The cut is especially lovely in a soft, natural fabric with a quiet nature-inspired print. Absent the layers of petticoats, it turns out this gorgeous style is comfortable as well.

Fashion in Charlotte Designers bring their craft and artistry to the Queen City scene by Torie Dominguez :: qnotes staff writer

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id you know Charlotte has a fashion scene? It’s understandable if you’ve been in the dark until now — asked to describe the style of the average Charlottean, many of us would think first of the on-a-good-day-possibly-slightly-less-dull-than-dishwater uniform of the mid-level banker. Do a little digging, though, and you’ll uncover a surprising wealth of vibrant creators, small studios housing big dreams and a population of eager consumers simply clamoring to be a part of it. The pole star of this small but growing world is our very own biannual Charlotte Fashion Week (CFW). This year’s fall event is scheduled for Sept. 25-29, on the heels of corresponding events first in New York City then in London, then in Milan, Italy. Admittedly, those three may enjoy somewhat greater brand recognition than CFW, but bringing haute couture home confers at least one major advantage: these designers, our designers, have the pulse of the city. Creators and consumers don’t exist on separate planes. While many of those who participate in CFW — which takes pride in declaring that a sizeable portion of its proceeds go to charity — are unashamed of their aspirations to win a place among the sparkling lights of Paris or the neon glow of New York City, others desire nothing more than to craft their lives, their businesses, and their art right here. They are the ones who bring Charlotte fashion to life. They, and the creatives bringing us wearable art through arguably less mainstream avenues. This July, for instance, AfricStyle Initiatives and NoDa Creative Arts Studio will present their third annual summer fashion show, with this year’s event drawing inspiration from the unconquerable spirit of Wakanda. Clothing enthusiasts seeking to experience Queen City fashion would do well to attend not only these two events, but as many more out of the dizzying array of options as they can manage before wearing through the soles of their carefully chosen shoes. At its best, the local style scene, in all its exquisite diversity, abides by one simple rule. It’s not fashion in Charlotte. It’s fashion of Charlotte. : :

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Legal Eagles

Divorce, survivorship and aging LGBTQ couples can take steps to protect themselves in trying times by Elizabeth T. Hodges, Attorney at Law :: guest contributor

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hanks to the U.S. Supreme Court’s highly anticipated and long-overdue decision in Obergefell v. Hodges, LGBTQ couples now enjoy the right to marry, and an increasing number of LGBTQ couples are taking their vows. That also means more couples may someday have to face separation or divorce. More than 10 percent of LGBTQ Americans in the U.S. are married, up from 7.9 percent before Obergefell, according to a 2017 Gallup survey. Gallup estimated that “61% of same-sex, cohabiting couples in the U.S. are now married, up from 38% before the Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage” in June 2105. With your marriage vows, you and your partner accept legal and financial rights and obligations to each other that single individuals don’t have, such as rights to property or to inherit. As long as the marriage survives, there may be no need to be worried about those rights and obligations. Unfortunately, there are no guarantees you’ll remain married ‘til death do you and your spouse part. And if the marriage does not survive, you need to take steps to protect your legal and financial interests. This is especially true for marriages where one or both spouses are at or near retirement age. Separation and divorce give rise to important financial and legal consequences, particularly if you don’t have a prenuptial agreement. Here are some important issues to consider. Is my spouse entitled to my retirement? Maybe. In North Carolina, equitable distribution laws govern the division of property, including marital property, between divorcing spouses. (Other states and jurisdictions may have the same or similar laws.) “Marital property” includes any property acquired by either or both spouses between date of marriage and date of separation, with some exceptions. So whether your spouse is entitled to your retirement depends on whether any or all of your retirement benefits can be classified as “marital property” and, therefore, included in

nating events include remarriage or cohabitation by the dependent spouse. Can my spouse participate in my estate if I should die? Under North Carolina law, the surviving spouse has the right to administer the estate of the deceased spouse and to take property under the estate, unless he or she has waived those rights in a written, legally-enforceable agreement. The waiver language is typically incorporated into a separation and property settlement agreement prepared by a family law attorney. Photo Credit: vchalup via Adobe Stock

the marital estate that will be divided between you and your spouse. Am I entitled to benefits under my spouse’s Social Security? The Social Security Administration recognizes same-sex couples for purposes of determining entitlement to Social Security benefits, Medicare entitlement and Supplemental Security Income. Assuming your spouse worked long enough to qualify for Social Security benefits, you may indeed be entitled to benefits as a surviving spouse.

When would I need to take my soon-to-be exspouse to court? If a separated couple can’t settle their financial and other differences through mediation or arbitration, they can litigate. Obviously, this should be the last option, except for cases involving domestic violence or similar emergency situations that mandate immediate or emergency relief. There’s an upside of going to court. You’ll have a neutral fact finder — the judge — who will resolve your marital claims when mediation or arbitration is not successful. And there’s a downside — you’ll have a judge, who may not always agree with your point of view.

Litigation is very expensive, and should be pursued only after careful consideration by you and your attorney. How can a family law attorney advise me if my spouse and I are separated or thinking about it? It’s prudent to consult a family law attorney before you separate from your spouse so you can take steps to protect your financial interests. It may, for example, be advisable in your case to immediately change the beneficiary designation under your life insurance policies or to cancel any powers of attorney which name your spouse. Whether to take those steps should be done in conjunction with an overall divorce plan that you and your attorney put together. Divorce is never easy, and can come as a shock to family and friends when it happens later in life. But the more you understand about the process, the more you’ll feel in control. : : — Attorney Elizabeth T. Hodges with Horack Talley in Charlotte, N.C. is certified as a family law specialist, and is one of 35 lawyers in North Carolina selected to be a fellow in the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. Reach her at bhodges@horacktalley.com.

Will either you or your partner be entitled to alimony? In North Carolina, a “dependent spouse” can seek support in the form of post-separation support and alimony from the “supporting spouse.” The amount and duration of alimony is subject to negotiation, and depends upon several factors, including how long the marriage lasted, ages of the parties, the parties’ health and their relative earnings and earning capacities of the parties. With older couples, the duration of alimony is more likely going to be influenced by how close either or both spouses are to retirement because of the obvious reduction in incomes. If you or your spouse are at or near retirement age, information about Social Security, pension and retirement income becomes vital in negotiating the amount of alimony. Income from investments and trusts is a factor, too. Under North Carolina law, alimony ends upon the death of either spouse. Other termi-

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tell trinity by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

Good Dating: Is it a monthly cycle? Dear Trinity, I went out last Friday night, met lots of guys, danced and made some great connections. This Friday, however, I couldn’t even get the “tide to take me out.” Is it me or is it just in the tides? Finding My Dating Cycle, Orlando, FL Dear Dating Cycle, When it comes to the “cycle of dating” —everyone has lousy and lucky or desirable days. Days where everyone wants to get in your pajamas and days where everyone acts like you’re wearing pajamas. Maybe it has to do with the full moon, the stars or your chemistry, but most likely it’s just your “dating cycle.” Now, honey, if you accept this dating cycle, you can truly ride out these down tides just like a surfer patiently waits for the perfect wave and then jumps on it. But in the meantime, try reading, exercising, visiting sick relatives, studying French or redecorating your home. Knowing when to stash your surfboard or pull it out for the big wave is key to riding a healthy dating cycle! Dearest Trinity, I’m dating a great, sexy guy, but he’s a smoker and it’s awful! Smoked Out, San Jose, CA

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Dearest Smoked Out, I know! Isn’t it the worst! So, either a) only go to outside events, b) stop dating altogether, c) get my “Tips for dating a smoker“ or d) send this date my “Tips for being a smoker who is dating a non-smoker.” Just email me, sweetie, and good luck! (How come nobody can take a real hint about how nose-clip-worthy it is to be with a smoker? Take a hint from my cartoon!) Hey Trinity, I’ve been chatting on the Internet and meeting way too many jerks. Why do all the jerks seem to hang out on the Internet? Inter-NOT, Baltimore, MD Hey Inter-NOT, Many fools think that just because they’re chatting on the net and not in person, that they can be inconsistent, irresponsible and have no integrity. Remember, pumpkin, most people who have nothing to hide don’t hide on the Internet! Hey Trinity, I met someone who doesn’t really like to talk about himself. Should I be concerned? Secret Meetings, Montreal, QC Dear Secret Meeting, Yes, be cautious whenever someone new won’t

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talk about themselves. Maybe he’s shy, famous or a spy. Maybe he has a dirty past. But for more clues, here are: Trinity’s Secret Tips For What It “Really” Means When Someone Won’t Talk   1. When someone won’t talk about their job, then they’re probably a doctor, lawyer, priest, CIA agent or unemployed.   2. When someone won’t talk about where they live, then they’re possibly living in a bad neighborhood, marriage, prison or mental hospital.   3. When someone won’t disclose their last name, then you can presume they’re a famous actor or politician, ashamed of their family ties or wanted for heinous crimes.   4. W hen someone won’t talk about their childhood, then they’re likely to have been very religious, rich, abused or from the mob.   5. W hen someone won’t answer, “What brought you here?” then there’s a chance they’re escaping from a relationship, memory loss, child abuse or (you guessed it) prison.   6. W hen someone won’t answer the question, “What brought you to talk to me?” then they may be shy, out of touch, incestuous or an undercover cop!   7. When someone won’t talk about where they’re going after they leave you, then they could be going to cheat, gamble, get drunk (again) or run away forever.   8. When someone won’t talk about their day,

then they presumably got fired, crashed the car, lost your dog or witnessed a very bad decorating job!   9. When someone won’t talk about last night, then in all likelihood they either got laid, arrested, gambled it all away or got married in a Vegas wedding. 10. Lastly, when someone won’t talk at all, then they’re unfortunately very upset, shy, sick with laryngitis, mute or very confused because you keep asking them questions! info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.


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from the Rx pad……

by Rx Clinic Pharmacy, a comprehensive onsite service of Ballantyne Family Medicine

Fast Facts to Help You Quit Smoking By Liza Schimmelfing, PharmD Candidate rates of asthma, ear infections, and respiratory infections in kids. If not your own health, think of the health of the ones around you. Luckily, this article is not all bad news. For those of you that are considering quitting, I am excited to discuss the many options to help you through the quitting process. First, here is a list of things you can do on your own: learn your triggers so you can combat them before the cravings start; try using mints, gum, or a cinnamon stick if you are used to having something in your mouth; know that it’s ok to ask for support; and remind yourself why you are quitting. There are also a couple of over-the-counter (OTC) medications available at most pharmacies without a prescription that you can try to help you through your process: Nicotine patches (NicoDerm CQ) and nicotine gum/lozenges of either of these products is best for you. Both of the OTC options can help you quit in roughly 12 weeks. For a joint approach with your doctor, they can prescribe you one of four options: Varenicline (Chantix), which can help you quit in 3-6 months; Bupropion SR (Zyban), which has smoking cessation rates in typically 2-6 months; a nicotine inhaler (Nicotrol), an option that normally works in 3-6 months; or nicotine nasal spray (Nicotrol NS), which is commonly a 14-week treatment course. It is important to note that just because these are all treatment options, it does not mean they should all be used together. Bupropion can be used in combination with the nicotine patch, gum, or lozenge, but Chantix should not be combined with a nicotine product. As you can see, even if smoking is an issue, there are many options available to help you quit. As always, be sure to discuss which option is best for you with a health care provider. Your doctor

or pharmacist will be happy to help you achieve smoking cessation the safest and most effective way for you personally.

Photo: Ivan Grlic via Adobe Stock

Are you currently struggling with tobacco dependence? Have you tried to quit before, but found that the urge to smoke returned? Don’t worry! There are many available treatment options to help you kick the habit. First things first, it is important for you to know that you are not alone. According to a CDC report, 15.5% of adult Americans are current cigarette smokers. The good news is that this number has dropped tremendously, from 20.9%, since 2005. If you are still struggling with smoking cessation but are ready to quit, this article will give you a few tips you can try on your own, as well as some helpful questions to discuss with your health care providers. Before we get to the helpful hints, it’s important to know why you should quit. Although everyone has their own personal reasons, you can use some of these facts to help motivate you through the quitting process. Smoking costs not only money every time you buy a pack of cigarettes, but also costs the U.S. roughly $300 billion in lost productivity and health expenses. Even if money is not a major concern, preventable diseases caused by smoking account for 1 in 5 deaths, or 480,000 deaths, in the U.S. alone. Some of these preventable diseases include stroke, heart attack, emphysema, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), chronic bronchitis, asthma, and lung cancer. If you are considering the health of someone you live with, secondhand smoke can lead to coronary heart disease, lung cancer, and stroke in adults. And for those of you that have children in your lives, secondhand smoke can lead to higher

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health and wellness by Jack Kirven :: personal trainer, qnotes contributor

Muscle Pain and Magnesium Sulfate: Does Epsom salt help diminish lactic acid burn?

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was in terrible pain all week until Photo Credit: this morning. My arms are so shot Diane MacDonald from a chest workout followed the via Adobe Stock next day by a shoulder workout that the throbbing in my triceps kept me awake a few nights. Why did this happen? I’ve started an eight-week program of my own invention, so that I can be ready for a photo shoot I’m planning for my 42nd birthday. (See more: youtu.be/2Qosg5SbQpY) I didn’t realize exactly how taxing the sessions were, so I was surprised how intense the swelling had become. I couldn’t stand it anymore after another sleepless night, so I finally applied some (pH)ULE5 to my arms yesterday. It’s a foaming muscle rub that was gifted to me by a friend who works in PR and was Second, lactic acid has a pH of 2.4. How promoting it as a new athletic proddoes it make sense that putting Epsom salt’s 5.5 uct. He knows my background and wanted my with lactic acid’s 2.4 would yield anything neutral opinion of it. I loved it! It worked exceptionally at all? Also, there are so many types of pain. well, so I’d use it only sporadically. I don’t want According to Dr. Richard Weil at OnHealth.com to ever run out of it! (onhealth.com/content/1/muscle_soreness), deThe reason is this: It was a very short-lived layed onset muscle soreness (DOMS) isn’t even brand. The identity changed, and now it’s called caused by lactic acid. Lactic acid leaves muscles Theraworx. It’s the exact same formula, but within a few hours, once it’s been used as a fuel psychologically I’m attached to the flashy sport source and then flushed away. The residual pain label. I know it’s ridiculous, but that’s precisely what good marketing can do. I swear by the stuff! It almost instantly reduces my discomfort and swelling. It’s main ingredient is magnesium sulfate attenuated 6X 0.05%. Wow! My friend told me this had been under development for years, and that they were trying to keep it secret until they were ready for a broader launch. I was hooked. I treated it like manna, using it only in times of most urgent need. I have no idea why I’m still treating it this way, since it does come in a new package. But that isn’t the point of this article. I was about to write a review for you for this wonder product. I was about to embarrass myself. Years of research, eh? I went to research how and why this product works so much better than anything else I’d tried. What is the mechanism by which it works? The claim for (Ph)ULE5 is that it is a mild base that gets absorbed through the skin, and thus negates the strong acidity of lactic acid. By doing what? Creating a salt that is then flushed out? Not so fast. In case you’re like me and didn’t realize it: magnesium sulfate is Epsom salt. Not only that, Epsom salt is itself slightly acidic, having a pH of 6.0-5.5 (re: chemistry. stackexchange.com/questions/49825/ismagnesium-sulfate-basic-neutral-or-acidic). Also I confused “attenuated” when “augmented.” Attenuation is diluting or reducing the intensity of something. In other words, this solution of Epsom salt is six times weaker than the concentration you’d get in a normal amount put into a regular tub of water. Let’s break all this down. First, according to Paul Ingraham at PainSceince.com (painscience. com/articles/epsom-salts.php), it’s been proven pretty solidly that Epsom salt cannot move across the topmost layer of dead skin cells. They’re full of keratin and surrounded by skin oils. Our skin, by definition, evolved to be an exceedingly efficient barrier between the world and our bodies.

and swelling with DOMS are caused by microscopic tears in the affected muscle fibers, and by the flooding of white blood cells and other particles into the area. And finally, I should mention massage. You have to massage that foam or liquid into your skin. Did I forget to mention I got a massage last night a few hours after I applied the (pH)ULE5? I felt better immediately after vigorously applying the product. I felt much better after my full-hour massage. I did both yesterday after suffering all week. Today, I’m suddenly fine. I have to be honest with myself: I accepted some hype. I did so, because of how it was presented to me by someone I trusted. In his defense, he knows nothing about sports or science. He’s a PR specialist: He takes what they tell him, and then makes it marketable. I fell for the scientific jargon, and I also fetishized the “sports/athletic” application. Using it made me an informed athlete

on the cutting edge of a new therapy. I could be a hot, smart jock. Because of (pH)ULE5. Um…I’m already a hot, smart jock. Bye, Felicia! Until now I couldn’t believe how quickly (pH)ULE5 disappeared. That it never really took off. That no one else was hip to it. I understand better now: I’m just as easily manipulated by fads as anyone else. If this can happen to me when I’m purposefully seeking to avoid fads, then it’s no surprise that other people grab desperately for pills, powders and electronic six-pack stimulators. I laughed about that ridiculous Shake Weight while rubbing myself smugly with diluted bath salts. It’s actually kinda hysterical, no? I believe this product is a placebo. I also believe all applications of magnesium sulfate must also have little or no effect when used to treat muscle soreness. Rather, I think that what was helping me was rubbing the muscles, relaxing during the massage, sitting in warm water and believing that a magic potion was doing what it claimed. : : info: Jack Kirven completed the MFA in Dance at UCLA, and earned certification as a personal trainer through NASM. His wellness philosophy is founded upon integrated lifestyles as opposed to isolated workouts. Visit him at jackkirven.com and INTEGRE8Twellness.com.

May 18-31 . 2018

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EVENTS

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You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a threefor-one entry. All Charlotte-area events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes.com), Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce (clgbtcc.org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com).

May-June 2018 Continues through May 20 SEP MAY MO Reel Out Charlotte Camp North End 1824 Statesville Ave., Charlotte Various times The Queen City’s yearly LGBTQ film festival, formerly known as the GayCharlotte Film Festival, celebrates its 10th anniversary in 2018. Individual tickets for each screening are $10, half price for students and seniors, with deluxe weekend passes for $75. Check out the festival website for advance tickets and screening information. reelout.org.

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The Hair Games SEP MAY MO Oasis Shriners 604 Doug Mayes Pl., Charlotte 6-9 p.m. This barber battle and hair competition also features a fashion show and a range of local vendors, while promoting and celebrating emerging social justice movements. Tickets for the family-friendly event start at $20. bit.ly/hairgames2018.

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St. Vincent, “Fear the Future Tour” McColl Center’s “Studio The Fillmore Charlotte SEP MAY MO Party” 820 Hamilton St., Charlotte McColl Center For Art + 8 p.m. Innovation Queer musician and singer-songwriter 721 N. Tryon St., Charlotte St. Vincent 6-11 p.m. will come to McColl Center hosts its Charlotte on her annual fundraiser and Fear the Future artist-focused evening, Tour, in support “Studio Party,” with a of her album chance to meet and dine “Masseduction,” with renowned alumni which came out artists-in-residence, both national and late last year. The critically-acclaimed local. Artists include Shaun Cassidy, album is her sixth, including a colAndrea Chung, Carlos Estévez, Dustin laboration with David Byrne in 2012. Farnsworth, Maja Godlewska, Marek St. Vincent has partnered with PLUS1 Ranis, Hongsock Lee, Anne Lemanski, to ensure $1 from every ticket goes to Rashaad Newsome, and Fahamu Pecou. support leading organizations providing Attendees will also enjoy a contemporary prevention, treatment and resources art sale and live auction and an after for opioid addiction. Tickets and more party with drinks, dessert, and dancing. information are available online. mccollcenter.org/events/studio-party/214. fillmorenc.com.

SEP MAY MO

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Chamber SPLASH! SEP MAY MO U.S. Nat. Whitewater Center 5000 Whitewater Ctr. Pkwy., Charlotte 6:30-8:30 p.m. The CLGBTCC Summer Jam includes music, activities, networking and dancing. Complementary hors d’oeuvres and a cash bar will be provided. Admission is free for members or $10 for non-members. Tickets are available online. clgbtcc.org/events.

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TOY Platinum Gala Le Meridean Hotel 555 S. McDowell St., Charlotte 6:30-10:30 p.m. Time Out Youth’s Platinum Gala will celebrate the LGBTQ youth the center advocates for, and all proceeds will go toward it continuing its important work. Tickets start at $100. More information and tickets are available online. bit.ly/2uWLwcY. timeoutyouth.org.

SEP JUN MO

Outfest Columbia SEP JUN MO Senate St. and Park St., Columbia 12-8 p.m. Outfest Columbia is a new event, hosted by South Carolina Pride, showcasing local talent, vendors, and businesses. Steve Grand will headline the event, along with Robin Adell. The event will also feature several local stars. scpride.org/outfest.

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May 18-31 . 2018

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SEP JUN MO

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‘Six Characters in Search of a Play’ Theatre Charlotte 501 Queens Rd., Charlotte 7-10 p.m.

Del Shores, acclaimed writer-director of “Sordid Lives” and “Southern Baptist Sissies,” stages a one-night-only performance of his new one-man show. The event will benefit Stonewall Sports Charlotte. General admission tickets start at $25. bit.ly/sixcharacters.

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To see more upcoming events, visit goqnotes.com/calendar/

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Voice and Communication Workshop with New Leaf Voice 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte 4-5:30 p.m. Transcend Charlotte presents an educational event focusing on vocal health and expression, led by licensed speech language pathologist Gretchen McGinty. Registration is free and can be completed online. bit.ly/transcendvoice.

SEP JUN MO

Salisbury Pride Festival E. Fisher St. & S. Lee St., Salisbury 11 a.m.-5 p.m. The Annual Salisbury Pride Festival will be held in Historic Downtown Salisbury featuring local artists, performers, vendors and more for an event for the whole family. Admission is a free. More information is available online. salisburypride.com.

SEP JUN MO

Continues through June 17 SEP JUN MO What Happens on the Beach, Stays on the Beach Crown Reef Beach Resort & Waterpark 2913 S. Ocean Blvd., Myrtle Beach

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Billed as a first annual LGBTQ Pride event, the four-day festival will feature live entertainment and celebrity guests in a party atmosphere. Tickets for individual events start at $15, with allaccess passes available starting at $100. bit.ly/onmyrtlebeach.

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life

Our People:

Q&A with Gabe Harrison Artist, Entrepreneur by Torie Dominguez :: qnotes staff writer What’s the best advice you’ve ever received? “Don’t forget to tie your shoes.”

What aspect of yourself would you like to change? Nothing.

How do you spend your free time? Usually creating new things and content, and different concepts for projects and events.

You can read only five books for the rest of your life. Which do you choose? “The Secret,” “Dr. Seuss,” “Find the Good,” “Think Big Act Small,” “Almost Adulting.”

We’ve all heard that smell is the sense most strongly tied to memory. What scents do you find most evocative? Gasoline, road trips.

Imagine traveling somewhere incredibly remote, with no way of contacting the outside world. Are you more thrilled or petrified? Kind of both, to be honest.

If you won a multi-million-dollar jackpot, what would you do with the money? Create a cool permanent venue space for other creatives to network and showcase ideas and just hang out.

If you met yourself, do you think you’d be your friend? Hell yeah, we’d go everywhere — Paris, Rome, Italy!

Are you an early bird or a night owl? I’m definitely both night owl and early bird. Depends on the music before the night. What household chore do you avoid at all costs? Usually taking out the trash, but hey, someone’s gotta do it.

What have you always wanted to do, be, or learn, but never gotten around to? I’ve always wanted to become a traveling artist in different cities creating art. And finally, how would you like to be remembered? I’ve always wanted to be remembered by my work and the special times creating them. : :

What possessions do you cherish most? I cherish my game systems very much.

I

t doesn’t take long to conclude that Gabe Harrison, artist and entrepreneur behind Evolve + Rebel clothing, is driven in large part by a boundless curiosity. Intrigued by time travel and the adrenaline surge of amusement park rides, inspired by connections with other artists and the bending and fusion of genres, he manages to imbue even stark black-and-white tees with his own colorful personality. His work also resonates with social conscience, evoking underground music and street art to emphasize celebration of the “other,” the outsiders. Here, Harrison talks to qnotes about his values, his enthusiasms, and the wise words that guide his steps. Which of your achievements are you most proud of? Creating some of the best times and networking in the city with creatives. What are you passionate about? I’m very passionate about mixing fashion, art and technology.

What helps you relax when you’re feeling stressed? Usually when I’m stressed I just pop in a little ‘90s alternative grunge. What cheers you up when you’re feeling down? Thinking of my family and how much love and support I’ll have from them.

When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? Funny, I’ve always wanted to be a theme park and roller coaster creator. If you could live in any time period, past or future, anywhere in the world, what would you choose? I would live choose to live in Tokyo in the future. What do you like most about yourself? I like the fact that I’m figuring myself out and meeting great folks along the way.

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