QNotes, May 22-June 4, 2015

May 22-June 4 . 2015

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May 22-June 4 . 2015

inside

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Summer in the South

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news & features

6 News Notes: Regional Briefs arts. entertainment. news. views.

7 News Notes: U.S./World Briefs

a&e / life&style 8 10 11 12 13 15 15 17 18 19

Young and Positive Summer Pride season Summer cycling Summer foodie travel Summer grilling tips Jane’s World Tell Trinity Summer day trips Q Events Calendar Our People: Dianna Ward

opinions & views 5 Editor’s Note

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May 22-June 4 . 2015

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qnotes connect May 22-June 4, 2015 Vol 30 No 02

arts. entertainment. news. views. goqnotes.com twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue

Paige Braddock, Matt Comer, Trevion Gutierrez, Norena Gutierrez , Lainey Millen, Trinity

front page

Graphic Design by Lainey Millen Photography: Monkey Business via dollarphotoclub.com.

Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBT and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBT life and social justice issues.

Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Editor: Matt Comer, x202 editor@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen, x205 production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.

Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2015 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

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upcoming issues: 06.05.15: Pride Month/Gay & Gray Advertising Space Deadline: May 27 06.19.15: Queer Music in the QC Advertising Space Deadline: June 10

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May 22-June 4 . 2015

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editor’s note

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

A spring of community growth and activity Talk about busy! I haven’t been this tied-up with community politics, parties, events and activities in a long time.

A couple issues back, I wrote of several good community accomplishments and activities — everything from the way our community banded together around the ordinance vote in March to things like upcoming local and regional Pride events.

As I sat down to write another column, I began to think of so many more that have happened since April. My social calendar has been a veritable, non-stop roller coaster and, boy, has it been fun.

I thought I’d spend a little time in this column running down all the events I’ve been to or participated in — a look back at this wonderfully busy, crazy spring schedule of mine and all the great things I’ve seen happening in the community.

Queen City hosts Prides As many of you know, I volunteer regularly with Charlotte Pride and have since 2008. It’s always an honor to work with so many great friends on the annual festival and parade, but the organization has so much more happening as it continues to grow and it expands its work and mission throughout the year.

One of those programs was April’s Prides of the Southeast Conference, a regional conference of InterPride, an international association of Pride organizations. Hosted April 16-19, Charlotte Pride brought together more than a dozen Pride organizations from across the Southeast and nearly 60 representatives from the group. Some included local and regional organizations like Charlotte Black Gay Pride, South Carolina Black Pride, Salisbury Pride and, of course my favorite hometown Pride Winston-Salem. Others included larger groups, like Atlanta Pride and St. Pete Pride.

Put all in one room for a few days and the ideas and networking that started flowing was absolutely amazing. Best practices and tips for event planning, fundraising and community building were shared. We heard from great presenters on everything from insurance issues and tourism to activism and diversity.

The conference also gave visitors to the Queen City an opportunity to explore our beautiful Uptown and meet some dynamic civic leaders. On the first day of the conference, Mayor Dan Clodfelter stopped by to welcome our visitors, along with remarks from Charlotte City Councilmembers LaWana Mayfield, John Autry and Patsy Kinsey. In the closing session on that Sunday, attendees gathered excitedly to hear

from Charlotte NAACP President Corine Mack, who stressed the importance of coalition-style work that benefits all communities — from people of faith and people of color to LGBT communities and straight allies.

Charlotte LGBT film gets a boost Another way I was able to volunteer with Charlotte Pride this spring was through the GayCharlotte Film Festival. Held at the end of April, the event celebrated its seventh year. The festival was formerly a program of the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte, but struck out on its own this year with the non-profit fiscal sponsorship and support of Charlotte Pride. I’ve long known organizers Teresa Davis, Victoria Eves and Frank Kalian, but it was great to meet new organizer Jim Kimbler and get closer with Teresa, Victoria and Frank.

A total of 11 films were shown, including two shorts. “Queer Knitter in the Queen City” followed local community member Davey, better known by some by his stage name Lana Cane. The other had important and special meaning; “brocKINGton” followed the story of Blake Brockington, a transgender teen activist who passed away in March as the result of a suicide.

Hundreds of people ended up attending the festival this year — a significant increase over prior years. I’m proud I got to assist Teresa, Frank, Victoria and Jim with marketing for the event on sites like Facebook. I really think the festival kicked it up a notch in terms of awareness and can’t wait to see what comes of it in future years.

Walk a success On May 2, I ventured out early on a cool, sunny Saturday morning to join friends marching in the 19th annual AIDS Walk Charlotte.

Thousands turned out for the event, as they always do, but this year seemed so much larger. The Regional AIDS Interfaith Network had good donations to show for that growth, too. They raised over $144,000, significantly more than last year.

King remembered On the same day as the AIDS Walk, I gathered with community members and longtime colleagues to once again remember Don King, this newspaper’s first editor and one of Charlotte’s earliest and most outspoken LGBT community leaders. Don passed away last fall at the age of 72. The event was held according to Don’s wishes. He had specifically wanted a remembrance event held near Earth Day. At the event itself, held at Metropolitan Community Church of Charlotte, Don’s cousin Jim told us more of Don’s meticulous plans and instructions for the event. Primarily, Don wanted the event to be one of laughter, memories and sharing, not one of sadness.

I was even able to speak briefly. Here’s a paraphrased version of what I said to those gathered that day: “I didn’t know Don as long as many of you here and I didn’t know him as well as many of you here, but Don was someone I looked up to with great respect and great admiration. I’ve always been a history geek, so when I first got

hired as editor at the newspaper and began to pour through our archives, I was amazed to learn so much about Don and all of the many great accomplishments in which he had a part.

I got to know Don through our lunches together and in the times I’d turn to him for interviews or information on community history. Don made a significant difference in the life of this community, and it wouldn’t be the same without him.

“Yes, he was a southern gentleman, but I can also tell you he was a firebrand — willing to take a stand on important issues and advocate for this community when so many couldn’t. He came out and took on a public role when others couldn’t. Don had the courage to do that, to take great risks in advocating for us — like in the 1980s when police were entrapping gay men. And while Don had a great many accomplishments during his life on earth, those accomplishments won’t be forgotten.

“He has left a unique legacy. Many of you might be aware that he had begun the process of donating many of his personal records, correspondence and archives to a new LGBT community archive at UNC Charlotte. His work in the community, some 50 years worth, will be preserved there for decades and generations to come. And there might very well come the day when some young LGBT student 50 years from now ventures into the archives and discovers for themselves the magnitude of Don’s work in the 1970s, ‘80s and ‘90s and sits in amazement of the courage, strength and fortitude it took to step out and stand up for our community during that time.

We wouldn’t be the same without Don and I’m glad his legacy will live on far past his lifetime.”

In case you missed it last fall, you can read our obituary for Don here: goqnotes.com/32393/.

Small town, big Pride On May 16, I ventured up to Lexington with friends for Davidson County Pride. It was the very first local Pride event held in Lexington, a southern suburb of both Winston-Salem and Greensboro. Hundreds of people turned out throughout the day for the event, which featured drag queen and king entertainers, a local folk band and a heavy metal band.

Yes, you read that right — a heavy metal band. It was probably one of the most unique performances I’ve ever seen at a Pride, and it was great to see a straight ally band coming out in support of the community. Several vendors were also present, including a few churches, Winston-Salem’s North Star LGBT Community Center and Pride Winston-Salem, among others. The Lexington Police Department even had a vendor booth at the event, passing out color-

ing books and crayons and whistles to kids.

Janice Covington Allison gave a great speech about the importance of activism and awareness. It was great to see her imparting some inspiration to a great many transgender folks and allies who had come to the event.

The organizers of the event should be applauded for stepping out bravely for this unique, first-ever event in their hometown.

Support for Boom Boom Another well-loved and longtime leader in Charlotte got a helping hand recently. Ricky Carter, known and loved by many as Boom Boom LaTour, recently suffered a heart attack and is currently recovering. Boom Boom has long been known for her drag artistry, working as an early pioneer for the art in Charlotte.

Contributor Shane Windmeyer and his drag alter-ego Buff Faye recently wrote about Boom Boom and her recovery, sharing messages of love and support from community members (catch that here: goqnotes.com/35167/). On May 17, hundreds came out early on a Sunday evening for a special benefit show at The Scorpio. Shane reported that nearly $2,000 was raised to help in Boom Boom’s recovery. More than 30 drag performers took to the stage, each donating all their tips that night for Boom Boom.

Upcoming events Spring might soon be coming to a close, but my social calendar will still be as busy as ever. I’m planning on checking out a number of upcoming events. Consider adding these to your social calendars, too!

• May 27: Visit Gay Charlotte launch party • June 5: Time Out Center’s Platinum Gala • June 6: Charlotte Pride’s Canine Couture • June 7: Community Family Picnic • June 13: Power of One Awards • J une 14: Forté! with Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte •A nd so many more! See more about these events and others in our calendar on page 17! : :

May 22-June 4 . 2015

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news notes: carolinas

‘Sordid’ coming to Queen City

compiled by Lainey Millen & Matt Comer

Triangle

Salisbury Pride slated for June 14-20 Ticket sales open

SALISBURY — Salisbury Pride has announced that tickets are now on sale for its Pride week events that begin on June 14.

Start off the week with a Drag Brunch on June 14, 2 p.m., at Sweet Meadow Cafe, 111 N. Main St. Cover is $10. Organizers recommend that those who wish to attend should make reservations by calling 704-637-8715.

Headliner Del Shores will bring his style to the stage on June 19, 7 p.m., at Piedmont Players Norvell Theatre, 135 E. Fisher St. Doors open at 6 p.m.

General admission price is $25. VIP tickets are $50 and entitle holders to receive preferred seating, as well as entrance to a meet and greet with Shores after the show. Tickets are available online. All proceeds benefit Salisbury Pride. info: salisburypride.org.

— L.M.

ACTION ALERT: Pride org needs support

SALISBURY — Salisbury Pride is on the lookout for individuals who would be willing to email Mayor Paul B. Woodson, Jr., asking him to issue a proclamation for its upcoming celebration on June 20.

The organization has not gotten mayoral support in three years, the last time with previous Mayor Susan W. Klutz in 2011. Woodson refuses to provide a proclamation, but has provided them for over 28 other groups since January 2014, organizers said.

Take action online at salisburypride.com/urge-mayor-woodson-to-issue-proclamation.html.

Tell Woodson that bullying and discrimination are not okay and that the City of Salisbury should embrace “Equality for All!” info: salisburypride.com.

— L.M.

Charlotte Guild to share tips

CHARLOTTE — The Charlotte Business Guild will hold its “Optimizing LinkedIn for Business” on May 26, 6:30 p.m., at Sensibly Chic Designs for Life, 830 Lamar Ave. The presentation shares tips on how to use the social media tool to boost sales and gain new clients for business-to-business and business-to-consumer opportunities.

Featured speakers are Trish Saemann, owner of Go Beyond SEO and Jaime Campbell, co-owner and CFO of Tier One Service, LLC. The free program includes information on how to best use LinkedIn and more. Light refreshments will be provided.

RSVP online at facebook.com/events/ 1081980681831096/. info: cltbusinessguild.org.

— L.M.

Dogs hit the runway

CHARLOTTE — Canine Couture 2015, presented by Charlotte Pride, will be held on Jun 6, 2 p.m., at Triple C Brewing Company.

Paws will strut the runway as canine models, decked out for success and showcasing the best in “poochwear” to benefit the Humane Society of Charlotte.

Categories include: Best Hair/Fur; Best Dressed/Costume; Best Owner/Pet Look Alike; Best Trick; and Best in Show.

Attendees and participants will be able to enjoy local brew, while they mix, meet and socialize with fellow dog owners, organizers shared.

Twelve vendors will be on hand, including a “doggie beauty shop” for grooming. Great hits will be spun by a DJ during the show.

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Admission is $5, with VIP seating going for $20.

Dog contest entry is $15 and $5 for additional category entries. Waivers are required for each dog brought to the event.

Fashions are provided by Silverfly.

More information is available online, along with tickets. info: charlottepride.org/canine.

— L.M.

Org seeks award nominees

CHARLOTTE — Charlotte Pride’s executive committee has announced that its Champions of Pride Awards are now accepting nominations to be presented at this year’s festival that runs from Aug. 15-16.

The third annual call recognizes “those whose work and dedication exemplify the spirit of Pride,” organizers said. Champions endeavor to empower and unite LGBT and allied individuals through leadership, service and support, they added. Additionally, a champion understands the importance of celebrating the past, present and future while advancing LGBT visibility and rights.

Awards are: Harvey Milk (leadership), Outstanding Ally (committed and impassioned allies), Young Catalyst (up and coming leaders under 30 years-of-age) and Legacy (lifetime achievers).

Nominations can be submitted through June 12. Organizers encourage nomination of those who represent diverse community achievements. Those chosen will be notified by June 22. Winners are asked to lend their support to the festival, as well as their participation.

Applications are available online. info: charlottepride.org/champions.

— L.M.

May 22-June 4 . 2015

schools and medical facilities to address issues surrounding families and transgender children. info: thexandyfoundation.wix.com.

— L.M.

CHARLOTTE — “A Sordid Affair” will be held on Sept. 26, 7 p.m., at the McGlohon Theatre at Spirit Square, 345 N. College St. The night of comedy to benefit Different Roads Home stars Del Shores, Leslie Jordan and Caroline Rhea (pictured above) and is presented by DRH and signature sponsor Rosedale Infectious Diseases.

Shores is a writer and producer. Rhea and Jordan are TV and movie iconic actors and comedians.

The evening will include a silent celebrate item auction and a private VIP meet and greet with the stars.

Tickets go on sale on June 1. Regular seating is $32.09, balcony seating is $25 and VIP package is $132.09. VIP tickets are limited to the first 58 to purchase them. Seating is on the first five rows. info: carolinatix.org. differentroadshome.org.

— L.M.

Triad Weekend benefits center

CLEMMONS — Spring Fling will be held on May 24, 4 p.m., at The Lasater Mill House, 7951 Lasater Rd., to benefit the North Star LGBT Community Center located at 704 Brookstown Ave. in Winston-Salem, N.C. Performances by Winston-Salem, N.C. band Suitcase, disco diva Maxine Nightingale and Mark Biggam’s Symphony Trio will fill the evening’s bill.

Enjoy a Memorial Day picnic on the estate property which includes a cash bar.

Tickets are $25 and are available online. info: northstarlgbtcc.com.

— L.M.

Youth org hosts banquet

DURHAM — iNSIDEoUT and Upsidedown will hold their Banquet and Gaiety at Duke Park, 106 W. Knox St., on May 31 at 12 p.m.

Enjoy light refreshments, live music and more while acknowledging the “hard work youth have been doing to make their schools and communities a better place for all LGBTQ+ youth, as well as our adult allies who make everything we do possible,” organizers said.

Admission in the form of a contribution is $18$180/adults, $3/youth and can be secured online. info: insideout180.org.

— L.M.

‘Hugger’ celebration slated

RALEIGH — SAGE Raleigh will host a celebration for Thom Koch on June 11, 11 a.m., at the LGBT Center of Raleigh, 324 S. Harrington St. Koch had served as the Thursday morning greeter at the center, but a number of months ago became ill and could no longer make there.

Everyone who came through the doors were welcomed with an embrace.

The celebration is being held to honor him and to let him know who much he has been appreciated and loved.

A free lunch will be provided.

Email Les Geller at geller@lgbtcenterof raleigh.com to learn more or to RSVP for the event. info: lgbtcenterofraleigh.org.

— L.M.

Western Girls hit the hills

WINSTON-SALEM — OUT at the Movies will screen “Boy Culture” on June 13, 7 p.m., at the University of North Carolina School of the Arts’ ACE Theatre, 1533 S. Main St. The film tells the story of a successful male escort who describes in a series of confessions his tangled romantic relationships with his two roommates and an older, enigmatic male client.

It was produced by Stephen Israel.

Tickets are $6 and will be available in the lobby beginning at 6:15 p.m. Senior and student tickets are $6. info: outatthemovieswinston.org.

— L.M.

ASHEVILLE — The Indigo Girls will bring their music style to The Orange Peel, 101 Biltmore Ave., on June 23 at 8 p.m.

Grammy Award winners Amy Ray and Emily Saliers have been a staple for southern audiences. The indie artists’ music is infused with “folk-tinged” pop songs.

Joining them will be The Good Graces, an indie folk group who hail from Atlanta, Ga. Ticket purchase is available online and is $34/advance, $39/day of show which comes with a free download of the duo’s new “One Lost Day” album. info: theorangepeel.net.

— L.M.

Trans org launched

Youth raises funds

Film series screening ahead

GREENSBORO — The X & Y Foundation of NC, Inc., 3409 Canterbury St., which began this month, has been established to financially and emotionally support families of transgender children.

Andrea Bird is the founder. She was previously with Neuropsychiatric Care Center and held the position of office manager with them.

Children can gain assistance with medical expenses for such things as hormone blockers and replacement therapies, along with mental health treatment. They can also gain access to college scholarships.

There is an educational element to the services that the organization provides. It works with

ASHEVILLE — Youth OUTright is on the fundraising track during the coming months.

On May 23, 1:30-4:30 p.m.,the group will hold a carwash at Fuddrucker’s, 130 Charlotte St. Support of the event helps bring Western North Carolina’s only prom for LGBT and allied youth. Cost is $5. The “It’s YO Prom: We’re All a Little Queer Here” will be held on June 6, 7 p.m., at Toy Boat Community Arts Center, 101 Fairview Rd. Participants will be able to dance the night away to DJ SteadyLove’s tunes. A photo booth will help capture memories for everyone. Adult chaperones will be onsite for the alcohol and drug-free event.

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news

news notes: u.s./world.

Blood ban could be reduced to deferral in advancing the full equality and inclusion of LGBT people, organizers shared. Candidates who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer are eligible for the Landres Award only if their activism benefits an identity group of which they are not a member.

It will be presented in December in San Francisco, Calif.

Nominations are due by June 17 and can be submitted online. Include name, email address, phone number and mailing address of the person nominated. Prepare a 500-1,000 word statement that describes why the candidate is deserving of the award.

Submit a brief biography on the nominee.

And, provide name, email address and phone number for the person who is submitting the nomination.

For more information, visit keshetonline.org.

— L.M.

Rustin stamp campaign comes to N.C. A man gives blood douring a blood drive held by the U.S. Navy.

Photo Credit: U.S. Navy photo by Photographer’s Mate 3rd Class Jeremy L. Grisham.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Food and Drug Administration released new proposed guidelines on blood donations by gay and bisexual men on May 12. The proposed rules would eliminate the current lifetime ban on men who have sex with men and replace it with a oneyear deferral.

Instead of being asked if they have ever had sex with a man since 1977, the new questionnaire, if approved, would ask if a man has had sex with a man in the past 12 months.

Advocates say it is a step in the right direction — putting the U.S. on the same footing as nations like Australia, Japan and the United Kingdom. But some are also questioning whether the deferral would continue to stigmatize.

“This policy prevents men from donating life-saving blood based solely on their sexual orientation rather than actual risk to the blood supply” David Stacy, government affairs director for the Human Rights Campaign, said in a release.

In a commentary posted at CNN, gay reporter Ben Tinker made much the same argument about the current rules, writing, “If you’re straight, you’re screened based on your behavior. If you’re gay, you’re screened for who you are.”

The new FDA guidelines are now entering a 60-day public comment period. Comments can be submitted online at regulations. gov/#!documentDetail;D=FDA_FRDOC_0001-5682.

— M.C.

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Candidates should have a desire to make a difference by providing positive impact on the community, be an active, integral team player, lead a team or group effectively and generate results, have a working knowledge of or a willingness to learn about non-profit organizational functionality and share the vision to steer the organization to meet community needs and desires, Vice President Sandra Johnson shared.

For more information or to apply for the board,email Linda Jones at sistercarewnc.

In addition to supporting the prom, 10 percent of the proceeds will benefit the organization’s homelessness project for LGBT youth in the area, E. Keith Bramlett, board chair, shared in a release.

Through July 5, customers can donate a dime at Greenlife, 70 Merrimon Ave., as part of the store’s Bag Donation Program. Reusable bags normally net 10 cents as a refund for consumers, but during this program, YouthOUTright will be the recipient of the funds raised.

Youth OUTright is open to those who are 14-23. info: youthoutright.org.

— L.M.

Care org seeks volunteers

HENDERSONVILLE — SisterCare WNC, which provides services to the LGBT community, is seeking volunteers for its board to fill vacancies.

The organization has seen a sustained growth over the years and wants to be able to continue providing “dignified services” to those in need.

National org seeks nominees

JAMAICA PLAIN, Mass. — Keshet, a national organization that works for full equality and inclusion of LGBT Jews in Jewish life, has announced that nominations are now open for the Landres Courage for Dignity Award.

The award honors individuals who have committed themselves in exceptional ways as allies to the LGBT community and as partners

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Local organizers in the Queen City are circulating a letter and petition to get the U.S. Postal Service to issue a stamp featuring famed gay civil rights activist Bayard Rustin.

The campaign, which launched in 2014, aims to honor Rustin — famous for his role in assisting Martin Luther King, Jr., and organizing the 1963 March on Washington — with a national postage stamp.

The U.S. Postal Service has issued just one LGBT-related stamp honoring Harvey Milk.

Local groups, including the Freedom Center for Social Justice, are asking others to sign letters in support of the stamp. Durhambased activist and leader Mandy Carter serves as an honorary chair of the campaign.

Learn more and offer support at rustinstamp.org.

— M.C.

secretary@gmail.com by June 10. info: sistercarewnc.weebly.com.

— L.M.

Conference deemed success

ASHEVILLE — The LGBT in the South Conference held on April 17-18 at the Diana Wortham Theatre welcomed 500 activists and organizers from across 17 states.

see News Notes on 16

Out and about in the Carolinas CHARLESTON — Charleston Pride, slated for July 25-Aug. 1, has announced that it is accepting Pride Guide advertising commitments. The guide is distributed thought the area, as well as Upstate South Carolina, Savannah, Ga., and Asheville, N.C. info: charlestonpride.com.

CHARLOTTE — The Diversity & Inclusion Summit was held on April 29-30. It was hosted by Johnson C. Smith University, a first for the HBCU campus. info: jcsu.edu.

May 22-June 4 . 2015

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life

Young and Positive: A Son’s and Mother’s Journey

by Trevion and Norena Gutierrez :: special to qnotes

The Issue of Tissue / No Damn Tissues Part two in a multi-part series Trevion and Norena Gutierrez are sharing their experiences together as son and mother as they navigate life following Trevion’s HIV-positive diagnosis.

Follow all of their columns, published every other issue, online at goqnotes.com/youngpoz/.

Trevion: “The Issue of Tissue” Within the hour of being diagnosed, I was on YouTube. Checking out testimonies and speeches, researching misconceptions about the virus. Trying to cope in any way I could.

But it seemed so hopeless. Most of the people who were talking had already been through the “sick phase,” as some call it. Damn. I wanted to know how to process this, how to really deal with the stress that was inevitable. I didn’t care about how people were doing now (with all respect). I wanted to know how to get through it.

My mom asked me if she should get tested for HIV. What? And for what? We didn’t exchange fluids in any way, shape or form. I was already grossed out about blood and things, so there was no way she would have gotten it from me. On top of that, I felt betrayed that she would even think of getting tested. It was as if suddenly my mind erased all the good that had happened, and now I felt like my mother was disgusted by me. Like HIV was going to be the final straw that made her stop loving me. I was so upset, that I lost it one day in front of the nurses and cursed her out. When you are adopted, if you ever really want to hurt your mom, you say the meanest thing you can say: “You are not my mother and you never will be.” She didn’t say a word, she turned around and walked out of the room and went home. There I did it, I thought. Now she will really abandon me. I have HIV. But she stuck around. My mom refused to let me fall, even when I didn’t want to live another day. She loved me every day. It was the hardest moments of my life thus far. The doctors wanted me to “focus myself,” so they took away all my stuff: my phone, my internet privileges, my music. For once, I was truly alone and not because I didn’t have my phone or the internet. My music was important to me, but that wasn’t it either.

I felt like the nursing staff started treating me differently. It is what it is. Yeah, there were a few nurses and techs that helped me along the way and I could tell they really cared. But a lot of them, I think, just didn’t know how to deal with me. And so, I shut them out before they could shut me out.

I would like to say I made it work, that I was nice and kind to the staff on the ninth floor. But that would be a lie. I lashed out. I was in a scary, emotional place where I needed something to distract myself from what was going on. It was overwhelming. I needed music, talking to my friends, anything to make me feel normal again. I needed to feel confident in myself again. But that wasn’t going to happen any time soon. The truth was, I had just been told I have HIV. I was learning that it is a long, long process to deal with — like a life time, and I wouldn’t admit it and I am not sure I could verbalize it, much less process it. It was another

six weeks before I could even accept the real fact that I am HIV-positive.

Finally, it was D-Day (Data Day) in my room on the ninth floor at Levine Children’s Hospital.

I would be getting information on my health.

They would finally be telling me something other than “take your meds.” (Which is still important, people. If you have it, take them!)

I was excited to know something new and to learn more about my new illness. When palliative care came to see me, I was all pumped up for the info. Why? No clue.

We reviewed where I was — dangerously close to AIDS when I was diagnosed. Another thing where they just spit it out. No sugar coating, no smiles. They said I had a CD4 count of 230. And a viral load of 8,000,000 (whatever that was). The “difference” between HIV and AIDS, is a CD4 count of 200 or below (AIDS) or 205 and above (HIV). So, right then and there, I stopped being pumped up, and didn’t want to know anything anymore. I’m done. I hate this place. I hate this… everything.

The tears came at the weirdest moments.

I don’t think there was necessarily a reason each time. I don’t even know if it had to do with the HIV. I was just emotional. What I do know is that at those times, I just needed some tissue. Or toilet paper. Or a napkin. Anything that I could wipe my face with. I remember this one time, I was so upset by this issue of tissue, that I threw everything out of the little drawers.

I just wanted to wipe my face off. That’s all I wanted. But nooo…. there just had to be no tissue in the whole damn room.

So, I used my sheets.

❝ The tears came at the weirdest moments. … I just wanted to wipe my face off. That’s all I wanted. But nooo…. there just had to be no tissue in the whole damn room. … So, I used my sheets. ❞ — Trevion Gutierez

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May 22-June 4 . 2015

Norena: “No damn tissues” HIV treatment began the afternoon Trevion was told of his status. Within a couple of days, he was feeling substantially better. Tre said he felt better and his spirits, well, I would say they were flat, at best.

I pray three times a day for about 145 people for miracles of health, abundance and love.

With the news of Trevion being HIV-positive, I couldn’t pray for anyone. Not even for me. Not for my child. I had lost my spiritual connection.

I wasn’t angry at God, I wasn’t anything. I was just trying to get through the day.

I also realized I had no information about this whole HIV thing. My friend in California said I needed to get tested for HIV. I reassured him I was not having sex with my son. He said, “You never know, you live in the same household, you could get the virus somehow in the house.”

I thought to myself, “I don’t think that is how it works, but I better confirm that.” The doctors had reassured me on the “HIV+ Day” that there was a team that would work to educate me and answer all my questions. I felt like I really needed them now, we were going into a second week of HIV shock fog and I hadn’t seen anyone. I called the head nurse. She perused the file, “Oops, looks like we didn’t get that scheduled, let’s make a phone call and get that underway.” Yes, “let’s” — I am drowning here. I am now catastrophizing on an hourly basis. I am making stuff up and I have no idea how to help my child.

I walk into Tre’s hospital room. It is a teenager mess, very similar to the one I have at home.

“Hey, mijo, how ya feeling today?” I ask in my most loving, HIV-positive voice — even though I am reeling from the news that I just got fired for not making my sales quota (due to being at the hospital so much for the last 20 days). And, as if that wasn’t enough, we are being evicted from our apartment for a disturbance Trevion made a day before he went into the hospital.

Trevion grunts in reply and gives me a halfhearted hug. Okie Dokie. I will be quiet. The

nurse walks in to inform me that the palliative care and HIV education team will be able to meet with me and Trevion tomorrow at 2 p.m.

Great. I look at Trevion, “What’s a palliative care team?” He dryly replies, “The in-caseyou-die people.” Oh. I decide to not ask any more deep questions.

Meeting the palliative care team was awkward as it was without Trevion to start.

They started with how they can help: talking, educating and connecting me to resources. I had been so brave these last two weeks with not a reaction at all. But I knew that I was not going to make it through this session without some tears. I surveyed the room for tissue.

Nothing obvious or near. I know there is toilet paper in the bathroom, but I will have to make a huge dive to get there. The counselor says “so, before we start to answer all your questions, how are you doing really?” That’s all she had to say. “Not so good,” I said, barely getting it out as I started to sob unconditionally. There are no damn tissues anywhere. The doctor and the counselor start to scramble for some tissues, but they don’t see anything either. I am using my fingers to catch tears, but then the nose starts dripping uncontrollably. I finally use my sleeve and then the top of my shirt. The doctor returns with the tiniest box of tissues I have ever seen. Maybe there are five tissues in it?

I open the little red box and I catch my breath, but then another wave of tears. “I can’t lose my child,” I blurt out as the thought is racing. More uncontrollable sobs. The counselor runs out to get another box of tissues. Finally, I feel like the tears are slowing. The counselor is coaching me to take deep breaths. I compose myself. I finally say with a smile, “Yea, I am doing OK.” We all have a good laugh.

I start learning about viral loads and CD4’s and what to expect as Trevion starts to respond to the medication. They suggest I reach out to the Regional AIDS Interfaith Network and the PowerHouse Project for more information and support. I ask about getting myself tested. They clarified that it would be for my own health and as a Latina in her 50s, I am one of the target populations that is most at risk. What? Note to self: find out more about that later. We decide to meet in two days and continue the conversation.

Trevion’s viral load was eight million parts and his CD4 was 230 on the day he was diagnosed.

The viral load measures how much virus is working in your system and the CD4 measures the strength of your immune system. A normal immune system is 700 to 1000. When Tre was diagnosed, his CD4 was on the doorstep of AIDS which is classified at 200 and below. His viral load was extremely high considering that one can be HIV-positive but be “undetectable” at 20 or below — even zero. I was certainly learning.

Armed with new information, an ugly cry out of the way, no job and an HIV-positive son, I returned to the patio of my apartment where I prayed. That day felt different. I looked at the beautiful Virgin de Guadalupe statue. I got down on my knees. I prayed for the first time in weeks. “Blessed Mother, I surrender. I lay my son at your feet and ask you to take care of him. I surrender.”

Where are those damn tissues? : :

May 22-June 4 . 2015

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PRIDE 2015

Summer brings start of Carolina Pride season Take a rainbow summer vacay to regional Pride celebrations

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com participate in Pride Winston-Salem’s Rainbow Run 5K in the Washington Park Neighborhood. pridews.org.

SC Pride Oct. 24 Downtown Columbia The Palmetto State’s annual Pride festival and parade, with a downtown street fair, entertainment and more. scpride.org.

Pride on the Coast Charleston Pride July 25-Aug. 1 Charleston, S.C. Featuring a Pride parade and festival, Charleston Pride brings together coastal South Carolina’s LGBT community for several days of fun and networking.

Begun just a few short years ago and first hosted in North Charleston, the main events have since moved to Charleston. More details are soon to be announced.

Check the event’s website for more information. charlestonpride.com.

Get your rainbow gear out for a full season of Pride festival and celebrations! Pictured here, an attendee at the 2013 Charlotte Pride Festival and Parade.

Photo Credit: Brandon Schauf, courtesy Charlotte Pride.

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he weather is beginning to heat up as the Carolinas head into summer, and so is our Pride season. Festivals, parades and other celebrations are poised to pop all over the region.

Looking for a short summer vacay or day trip? Visit one of our regional Pride celebrations beginning next month and stretching far into the fall. Need pointers? Take a look at our ultimate list of regional Pride celebrations below. Looking for a beach getaway?

Don’t miss our special highlights on coastal Pride celebrations.

Salisbury Pride June 20 E. Fisher St., Salisbury Annual festival featuring a special performance with Del Shores the night before, June 19, at Pride at the Norvell. salisburypride.com.

South Carolina Black Pride June 24-28 Columbia Celebrating 10 years of “standing in our truth.” southcarolinablackpride.com.

Augusta Pride June 26-28 Augusta, Ga. Three days of events, including a parade on Saturday, Jun. 27, a Friday night outdoor dance party and pool party to wrap up the weekend. prideaugusta.org.

Charlotte Black Gay Pride July 16-19 Charlotte Celebrating their 10th annual event, Charlotte Black Gay Pride

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includes a town hall, community expo and more. charlotteblackgaypride.com.

Charlotte Pride Aug. 15-16 S. Tryon St., Charlotte The largest LGBTQ Pride event between Washington, D.C., and Atlanta returns to Uptown Charlotte with its third annual parade. charlottepride.org Pride End of Summer Festival Sept. 13 Rotary Park, 1001 N Broadway St., Johnson City, Tenn.

Join in the second annual celebration of Pride in the Tri-Cities. $10. pridetricities.com.

Greensboro Pride Sept. 19 S. Elm St., Greensboro New this year: Festival moves to a new street-fair location on S. Elm St. greensboropride.org.

NC Pride Sept. 26 Duke University East Campus, Durham Durham’s annual festival and parade. ncpride.org.

Pride Winston-Salem Oct. 16-17 Trade St., Winston-Salem Featuring a festival, parade and food truck rodeo. On Oct. 3,

Savannah Pride Sept. 12 Savannah, Ga. Hosted in Forsyth Park, Savannah Pride turns up the heat at their annual festival. Just a short drive away, the beach sands of Tybee Island await. savannahpride.com.

OBX Pride Fest Sept. 18-20 Nags Heads, N.C. There’s nothing quite like North Carolina’s Outer Banks. Historic and scenic, it also becomes home to a fabulous beachside Pride festival each September. Late in the year, it’s after the summer beach rush, but still plenty warm for summer-time activities. The main event is hosted at First Colony Inn, a beachfront hotel, with evening events hosted at the nearby Pamlico Jack’s and a sunset cruise. A $100 Pride Pass ($85 for students) gets you entry to all Friday and Saturday night events. obxpridefest.com.

Other festivals and events…

Be sure to check in with the organizers of these events as more details, dates and locations are announced: Catawba Valley Pride (Hickory): catawbavalleypride.org Blue Ridge Pride (Asheville): blueridgepride.org Gaston Pride (Gastonia): gastonpride.com High Country Pride (Boone): highcountrypride.org Shades of Pride (Durham): shadesofpride.lgbtqcenterofdurham.org Upstate SC Pride (Greenville-Spartanburg): upstatepridesc.org.

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life

Pop a wheelie with these summer cycling excursions Local biking advocate provides tips for summer cycling

Photo Credit: SnapwireSnaps

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

S

unny skies, sweet scents and a springtime breeze are all you need to feel free as you hop out of your car and hop on your bike for a ride around town. As spring turns to summer, you’ll find plenty more reasons to want to get out of the house and experience the local outdoors. Taking a bike trip around the city is a perfect way to make new friends, see new sights you might have missed before and kick your health habit up a notch.

That’s exactly what I was able to do on a beautiful, sunny morning preparing for this article and this print edition. I joined up with Dianna Ward, a friend and an openly lesbian entrepreneur, owner and founder of Charlotte NC Tours and executive director of Charlotte B-Cycle, a bike-share program launched in 2012. I met Dianna at Midtown’s Metropolitan, hopped on a B-Cycle bike and we made our way down Little Sugar Creek Greenway for a relaxing ride down to Park Road Shopping Center, where we grabbed some coffee and I interviewed Dianna for our “Our People” Q&A (read it on page 19).

The greenway trip was a great experience, bringing back memories of my love for biking as a kid and teen. Before I had a car, biking was my primary way of getting around town to see friends, go to my job or ride up to WinstonSalem’s Thruway Shopping Center and Borders Books, where I’d often grab a coffee and magazine. But it had been years since I’d been on a bike, since that awful gas crisis in Charlotte a few years back. The ride down the greenway was just what I needed to feel that old love of cycling again, sore legs afterward be damned.

I’m looking forward to getting back into biking and I’m certainly going to take Dianna’s list of suggested biking trips around Charlotte as my guide. Read them below.

Trails and trips Little Sugar Creek: The Little Sugar Creek Greenway snakes across a significant portion of the city already. When complete, it’ll cover over 19 miles of trails. You can already take in the trail all the way from Uptown down to Freedom Park and even on to Park Road Shopping Center or Montford.

Rail Line Brew Tour: Cycle along the LYNX Blue Line in South End and stop in at some of the city’s favorite local breweries, including Olde Mecklenburg Brewery, Triple C Brewing Company and Sycamore Brewing. As the Blue Line gets its extension northward, you’ll soon be able to keep riding into NoDa, where you can hit up NoDa Brewing Company, Birdsong Brewing Company and Heist Brewery.

Whitewater Center: For more experienced bikers, Dianna recommends a long trip out to the U.S. National Whitewater Center, where, once there, you can ride along the center’s acclaimed bike trails.

Johnson C. Smith: On the west side of town, a series of off-street trails, bike lanes and bike routes connect you to Elmwood Cemetery and Frazier Park along Irwin Creek and then on to Seversville Park in Wesley Heights and Johnson C. Smith University in Biddleville.

Dianna points out that Johnson C. Smith has

see Cycling Excursions on 16 May 22-June 4 . 2015

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11

Savory summer travel: America’s secret 2015 foodie destinations Pack your bags and bring a fork for these top food tourism destinations

W

ith their incredible restaurants seemingly appearing overnight, cities such as Brooklyn and Portland have long since been discovered as foodie destinations.

If you want coal-fired pizza ovens, craft beer or artisan doughnuts, you only have to stroll down the street a few blocks. But while these destinations have been basking in the limelight, other cities across America have been transforming their food scenes to much less fanfare.

If you’re searching for the mod craft cocktail bar, the boat-to-table seafood or the next big thing in fusion cuisine, DreamPlanGo, a blog offering travel tips and plans, suggests picking up a fork in these cities: Providence, Rhode Island. No one is sure who coined the phrase “boat-to-table,” but Providence does it right. Many up-and-coming restaurants have fish delivered daily from the docks to their tables. If you are looking for an exquisite creation with Italian, Portuguese or simple New England roots, Providence will serve you up in style. Save a special corner of your stomach for Providence’s fabulous holein-the-wall cafes and tucked away bars. In discrete, sometimes rough-around-the-edges locations, you’ll find the burgers, pizza and beer

A delicious treat from Durham’s Monuts Donuts. Durham is featured as one of the South’s Tastiest Towns.

Photo Credit: Durham Convention & Visitors Bureau, Sam Poley

that sustain locals whether they are out sunning on the patio or hunkered down for a gale.

And, while it makes some people shudder, you can’t leave town until you sample the residents’ take on pizza — its grilled, not baked.

Minneapolis, Minnesota. Better known for hot dish and General Mills products, the Mill City actually has a lot of new food going for it.

Sure you’ll find things like artisan SPAM bites tucked onto menus, but you’ll also be able to sample fresh-grilled walleye pulled from a lake near you, delicious Minnesota-grown produce, wood-fired pizza, local craft beer and mouthwatering French pastries. Food trucks have also taken the city by storm with everything from burritos to lobster rolls. If you are looking for Asian and Southeast Asian cuisine in particular, neighboring St. Paul has an enormous collection of authentic, inexpensive and just plain delicious family-run restaurants.

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Santa Fe, New Mexico. Santa Fe doesn’t have the big-name restaurants, but that suits the locals just fine. Santa Fe has always been known for its homey and rich southwestern cuisine, which you can still enjoy in abundance.

When you are being served, waiters will ask whether you want red, green or Christmas referring to the color of the chili sauce you want placed on your order. However, many new restaurants are subverting these old favorites to make them lighter and airier. Instead of heavy sauces, you’ll find cuisine being served with delicate infusions of southwestern flavor. Many chefs are blending the flavors they’ve grown up on with influences from Mexico, France and the Mediterranean. The result is a delicious collection of Southwest fare prepared in new and innovative ways.

see next page u

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life

Fire up your grilling game with expert tips and specialty cheese Your backyard grill is calling out for you as summer rolls into season

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very grilling season presents a new opportunity to add recipes and tricks to your routine. This year, kick up your cooking skills with advice from the ultimate grill master, Chef Michael Symon, co-host of ABC’s “The Chew,” and author of three bestselling cookbooks and owner of several restaurants.

“With the right techniques and ingredients, any home chef can grill foods that are seasoned to perfection and overflowing with melt-in-your-mouth goodness,” says Chef Symon. “With some simple techniques, great meat or veggies, and my favorite topper — Castello cheese — every dish will burst with flavor.”

The following tips from Chef Symon will help you make the most of every grilling occasion: • Judge proteins by their appearance. Red meat should appear red, not gray, with plenty of marbling; the fat melts to add flavor and create a wonderful mouth feel.

• Pay attention to temperature. Heat up your grill, with the lid down, for 20 to 30 minutes prior to grilling. This is a good time to take out your meat or poultry, which should be at room temperature before it is cooked. Begin grilling your protein on high heat to give it some char and then finish on low heat so it’s juicy and doesn’t burn. After grilling, let your protein rest to ensure it retains these flavorful juices.

• Don’t over-season. Season simply to showcase the meat or veggies: kosher salt, ground black pepper, plus a drizzle of olive oil to help it sear.

• Resist the temptation to flip. Whether you’re cooking protein or veggies, you should only turn your food over once when grilling.

Allow your food to develop a wonderful char on one side before moving or flipping it.

• Be adventurous with ingredients. Instead of a traditional cheeseburger, make Chef Symon’s bison burger using Castello Burger Blue cheese, which comes pre-sliced and ready for grilling. Shape ground bison meat into patties, grill three minutes on one side, then flip and top with sliced red onion and Burger Blue.

• Cut protein against the grain. The grain represents the direction of muscle fibers. Cutting slim strips, against the grain, shortens muscle fibers and makes the protein more tender and enjoyable.

• Use vegetables for flavor and texture. Vegetarians and meat lovers alike appreciate properly grilled vegetables, which add

a healthy touch and contrasting textures to your grilling menus. Chef Symon’s grilled eggplant is topped with melted Castello Burger Blue cheese, as well as an arugula salad with vinaigrette, capers, red onion and toasted sliced almonds.

For full recipes from Chef Symon, and more creatively crafted cooking ideas, visit castellocheeseusa.com. : : — Courtesy Brandpoint Content

Recipes Bison Burger Ingredients for four servings.

Kosher salt 4 oz. Castello Burger Blue cheese Freshly ground black pepper 1 small red onion, very thinly sliced into rings 2 tablespoons olive oil 1 cup arugula 1 lbs. ground bison, loosely packed in to burger patties 4 brioche style soft hamburger buns, toasted Preparation: Heat your grill to medium high heat. Season the burgers with salt and freshly ground black pepper on both sides, drizzle with olive oil then place them on the grill. Cook for 3 minutes then flip. Add the blue cheese, about 1 oz. per burger, and let cook for another 1-2 minutes. Remove the burgers from the grill on to the toasted buns. Top with a slice of red onion and ¼ of the arugula. Serve.

Grilled Eggplant Ingredients for 4 servings Olive oil 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard Kosher salt 3 cups arugula Freshly ground black pepper ½ cup sliced red onion, shaved paper thin 1 medium eggplant, cut in to ½ inch thick pieces 2 tablespoons capers, drained and rinsed 4 slices Castello Burger Blue cheese ¼ cup toasted sliced almonds 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar Preparation: Preheat a grill or grill pan to medium-high heat. Lay out the eggplant slices and drizzle them with olive oil on both sides.

Season well with salt and freshly ground black pepper on both sides, then place on the grill. Grill for about 4 minutes with the lid down, turning halfway though, until the eggplant is nicely charred and softened.

Top each slice of eggplant with ½ slice of Burger Blue cheese. Cover and continue to cook for another minute, until the cheese has melted. Remove to a plate or platter to rest while you make a salad with the arugula. In a mixing bowl, whisk together the red wine vinegar and mustard with 4 tablespoons of olive oil. Season the vinaigrette with salt and pepper, then add the arugula, red onion, capers and almonds. Gently toss to combine everything, then serve alongside or on top of the eggplant. Serve immediately.

Foodie destinations continued from page 12 Memphis, Tennessee. Memphis is legendary for its barbecue, which you can enjoy everywhere from honky-tonks to famous restaurants. With an exquisite plate of ribs before you,

A prepared meal from Durham’s The Pit Authentic Barbeque.

Photo Credit: Durham Convention & Visitors Bureau.

you may be tempted to look no further, but Memphis also has an amazing collection of up-and-coming restaurants that showcase some of the South’s other best food traditions. Be sure to try New Orleans-style redfish, succulent Lowcountry shrimp and grits and delicious servings of hominy, succotash and other Southern favorites.

Las Vegas, Nevada. While everyone was busy gambling away the 1990s and early 2000s, Las Vegas was slowly developing a chef-driven food scene. If you don’t mind paying top dollar, you can have an incredible meal in Vegas. Fresh seafood, premier sushi, heritage meats, caviar — it can all be found here. But be warned, Las Vegas does have a dearth of neighborhood restaurants, farmto-table operations and farmers markets.

Savannah, Georgia. Savannah is rightly famed for its coastal fine dining, so be sure to sample scallops, crabs, shrimp and redfish while you are in town. In Savannah, bounty from local producers is transformed to dishes served everywhere from your local neighborhood cafe to the up-and-coming downtown bistro.

San Diego, California. SoCal’s foodie up-andcomer has the market cornered on amazing fish tacos. Set right against the Mexican border and the Pacific Ocean, inspiration flows both from the

South and the sea. San Diego’s warm climate helps small farms thrive and you can be sure that restaurants are taking advantage of the locally sourced meat and produce that have become the mainstay of trendy new dining.

Portland, Maine. Not to be confused with its western counterpart, Portland, Maine has a formidable food scene bolstered by its close proximity to fresh seafood and its long history of farm-to-table dining. Sample the town’s microbrews while exploring the cobblestone Old Port. Dig in to slow-foods movement creations and sample the Maine lobsters that encourage diners to return again and again to the seacoast.

Durham, North Carolina. Southern Living called Durham the “South’s Tastiest Town,” so you’ve got to bring your appetite and check out the city’s new foodie appeal. Served to you in the city’s old tobacco warehouses or on roaming food carts, you’ll find exquisite pies, fresh doughnuts, artisan coffee and elevated casual fare that will make you never want to go back to your old greasy hamburger joint again.

Traverse City, Michigan. Downtown Traverse City’s restaurant boom is in part due to the growth of local wineries. When you visit, you’ll have to divide your time between good food, wine and the beach. What could be better? Like so many foodie areas, Traverse City takes it local. You’ll be dining on locally-grown cherries and apples, foraged morel mushrooms and fish pulled right from Lake Michigan. : : — Courtesy Brandpoint Content

May 22-June 4 . 2015

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tell trinity

by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

How safe is it to be openly gay in public Hey Trinity, I’m just uncomfortable kissing or holding my boyfriend’s hand outside the house, but he wants me to be openly affectionate in public.

I love him a lot, but I came out just last year when I turned 20 and I’m still wary about the way I act in public. What can I do to be more comfortable showing affection in public?

Closeted Love, Kansas City, MS Dear Closeted Love, When I was 18 and living in NYC, my tough, Latin, spiritual 21-year-old boyfriend said to me, “If you feel love for me while holding my hand or kissing me in public, we’ll always be protected. But if you feel afraid, then we will not be protected.” And it always worked.

Moreover, if you’d like, try public affection in safer places first, like taking a long weekend trip to bigger, more foreign gayborhoods like St. Louis’s “The Grove,” Chicago’s “Boys Town” or Nashville’s “The District.” It’s just a day’s drive away. So, pumpkin, start slowly, breath, be more fearless everyday and build up your PDA’s (public displays of affection). It takes time so get your roadmap out today.

Hey Trinity, When I first met my lover, I used to think his jealousy was cute. But after five months, it’s not so cute anymore. I feel like I’m under investigation every time we’re together, especially if I say hi to someone. How can I get him to be less insanely jealous?

Jealous Lover Gone Mad, Atlanta, GA Hey Jealous Lover Gone Mad, What you love in the first month usually becomes what you hate, I mean, have trouble with a few months later. Sweetie, jealousy is directly related to insecurities that someone acquires over years for many reasons. So, support him in taking classes or seeing a therapist for jealousy (aka, self-esteem). This may help him grow up, I

mean, grow out of his jealous ways. Good luck!

(Jealousy can drive one right into a straight jacket. My cartoon sure shows how crazy this can be.)

Dearest Trinity, My last boyfriend had so much class that I got spoiled. My new BF is great, but very “basic.”

Without hurting his feelings, how can I teach him better manners in public?

Man Without Manners, Detroit, MI Dearest, MWM, Manners are not easily taught to boys over the age of… birth! But if this boy wants to please you, then, honey, try slipping this under his Frosted Flakes bowl:

a&e

right to be themselves, not needing to do or say as you do.

8. Politically Correct: Never force your beliefs on anyone! Giving too much of your political or religious view is a great way to end a meeting.

9. Problem Free: Never waste someone’s time (accept good friends) on listening or analyzing your problems! Give others the freedom to not be your therapist.

10. Lastly, Negativity: Never give too much of your negative opinions.

Ending a conversation on a positive note is a great way to make a great impression on everyone! : : info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of

sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

Trinity’s Smart Tips For Having Great Manners 1. Physically: Never stand right in someone’s face. Yet, try to let others stand as close to you as they and you feel comfortable.

2. Eye Contact: Never try to control someone with your eyes. Have great eye contact, but let others talk to you as they feel comfortable!

3. Being Graceful: Not everyone will “get” you! Give others the right to understand or not understand you.

4. Good Self-Esteem: Never make others wrong for not being able to talk to you!

Give others the right to excuse themselves without insulting you.

5. Being Silent: Never talk over someone or a group watching a specific film, speech or piece of music! Practice silence during a special presentation!

6. Balanced Speaking: Never talk continuously without pauses so that others may talk too!

Always ask questions pertaining to the person you are with!

7. Being Themselves: Never push yourself, food or alcohol on anyone! Give others the

May 22-June 4 . 2015

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life

Cycling excursions continued from page 11 some of the oldest remaining historic buildings in Charlotte. On campus, Biddle Hall, still visible across a large portion of the city, used to be the tallest structure in the city.

Cycling tours Recently launched by Charlotte B-Cycle, a series of cycling cards provide local bikers pre-set trips and tours around the city. With names like “B-Entertained,” “B-Shoppers” and “B-Fanatic,” they take riders around center city and elsewhere on themed tours. Here are a couple that caught my eye: ”B-B-Que”/BBQ Tour: Starting at City Smoke in Uptown, the biking path takes you five other area eateries, each with their own favorite local fare, including Lola’s, Mac’s

Speed Shop, Mert’s Heart & Soul, Queen City Q and Sauceman’s. ”B-Cultured”/Art & Museum Tour: You’ll get a good culture kick visiting the city’s iconic museums and art galleries on this tour, including Bechtler Museum of Modern Art, Discovery Place, Foundation for the Carolinas, ImaginOn, Levine Museum of the New South, McColl Center for Art + Innovation, Mint Museum Uptown, NASCAR Hall of Fame and Ross & Pease Art Galleries at Central Piedmont Community College. more: Learn more about local biking at charlotte.bcycle.com and see local biking paths, trails and more at charmeck.org/city/charlotte/ Transportation/PedBike/Pages/Home.aspx.

News Notes continued from page 7 The Citizen-Times reported that participants were asked to choose their own pronoun upon arrival. Gender-neutral restrooms were made available to all participants. There were also Spanish interpreters present.

Keynote speaker was long-time activist Mandy Carter who said, “When you have change happening for women, for people of color, for LGBT people and their allies, that’s permanent, that stays.”

Included in the conference were organizational skills building workshops, LGBT

Southerner discussion and attorney Continuing Legal Education sessions.

The conference is a project of the the Campaign for Southern Equality based in Asheville, N.C. Its executive director Rev. Jasmine Beach-Ferrara and the conference team shared, “Our hearts are full and our spirits high after two days of connecting and asking hard, critical questions about the path ahead.

As we build this movement for justice and equality across the South, it’s so critical to take time to gather and learn from each other.” info: lgbtinthesouth.com.

— L.M.

South Carolina Org holds soiree

COLUMBIA — SC Equality will hold a wine and cheese tasting on May 29, 5 p.m., at Best Bottle Wine & Gifts, 6070 Garners Ferry Rd. Light hors d’oeuvres will be served.

During the event, a raffle for a gift basket will be held.

Tickets are $25 per person and are available online. info: scequality.org.

— L.M.

Campus Scene Collegiate org welcome fellows

CHARLOTTE — Campus Pride has announced that Tyler Eilts and Allison Marie Turner have been selected as summer fellows for 2015.

Created three years ago for recent college graduates and graduate students, the program offers these individuals with an opportunity to learn about Campus Pride while supplying hands-on activism, advocacy and job readiness opportunities.

Eilts hails from Illinois State University and Turner from the University of North CarolinaChapel Hill. The initiative began in mid-May and will continue through mid-August.

In other news, Campus Pride’s “Lil Purple Backpack” Resource Guide for 2015-16 is accepting insertion orders and commitment for the 60 plus page, full-color pocket-size tool. It is loaded with tips for LGBT faculty, staff, students and campus groups. Contract deadline is Aug. 7. info: campuspride.org.

— L.M.

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life

Carolina day trips from the mountains to the coast Grab some picnic goodies, take a tour and explore the Carolinas

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com away, take a canoe trip down the New River. There are plenty of camp sites and more along the river and in New River State Park. In Brevard, take a trip to Sliding Rock, where nature has wonderfully crafted its own water slide. On the coast, take a trip to the beach at Wrightsville and in nearby Wilmington tour the Battleship North Carolina. On the Outer Banks, stop by some of the state’s iconic lighthouses.

Lake Lure and Chimney Rock State Park Settle back into the days of “Dirty Dancing.” The cult-classic film starring Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Gray used this spot for some of the scenes. You can picnic, hike, camp and more.

If you’re looking for more favorite hiking, rock climbing, camping or other outdoor adventures, consider Stone Mountain State Park and Grandfather Mountain.

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here’s nothing quite like riding through the Carolina countryside. Friends and family piled in the car. Windows down.

Breeze blowing through the car. Music playing on the radio.

We’ve got a special place here on earth, full of sights and sounds like no other. In between your longer summer vacations, steal a quick day trip getaway to some of these iconic attractions across the Carolinas. If you’re feeling particularly inspired, book a single overnight stay and extend your summer fun. Here’s our list of short-trip ideas to get your summer activity brainstorming started: Love for the water If you’re in the mood for a watery get-

Carolina zoos The Carolinas are home to phenomenal zoos. In Asheboro, the North Carolina Zoo has attractions for every kind of person.

Columbia’s Riverbanks Zoo offers its own special attractions, too.

Traditions North Carolina is home to a wide and varied history and our own unique traditions.

Take a step back in time at Old Salem in Winston-Salem or visit some of the historic coastal towns like Bath and New Bern. While in New Bern, be sure to stop by the reconstructed Tryon Palace. : : — Lainey Millen contributed

May 22-June 4 . 2015

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EVENTS May-June 2015 Charlotte Pride Open SEP MAY MO Auditions Petra’s 1919 Commonwealth Ave., Charlotte 2-6 p.m.

Ever wanted to perform on the main stage or other areas at the Charlotte Pride Festival & Parade? Want to get your talents on stage at other Charlotte Pride events throughout the year?

Here’s your chance. All talents, skills and entertainment welcome. Auditions are open to the public. Come sit in on up-and-coming talent and offer your applause to your favorite act — and, maybe, even convince the judges to offer them a spot on stage! Cash bar available. A full list of details and preregistation (required for a guaranteed audition slot) is available online. facebook.com/events/815686658502083/.

Have a Drink with Pride Corks Caps & Taps 626 W. 4th St., Winston-Salem 7-10 p.m.

Join Pride WinstonSalem as they kick off National LGBT Pride Month and Have A Drink With Pride. $10 wine flights and $15 beer flights. Full glasses and bottles of wine and beer for purchase. Percentage of the proceeds benefit Pride Winston-Salem. pridews.org.

SEP JUN MO

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Visit Gay Charlotte Celebration Ruth’s Chris Steak House 222 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 6:30-8:30 p.m.

Visit Gay Charlotte fetes the relaunch of their LGBT, events, visitor and tourism portal. Wine and appetizers served.

Door prizes. Hosted by the Charlotte Business Guild. visitgaycharlotte.com.

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Platinum Gala SEP JUN MO Mint Museum Uptown 500 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 6:30 p.m.

Annual gala fundraiser for Time Out Youth Center, featuring keynote speaker Molly Barker, founder of Girls on the Run. Evening includes dinner, cocktails, art auction and more, including a private showing of the exhibit “Halston and Warhol: Silver and Suede.” Tickets are $100. timeoutyouth.org/platinum/.

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Submit your event to our calendar!

You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a three-for-one entry. All Charlotte-area events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes.com), the LGBT Center (lgbtcharlotte. org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com).

Community Family Picnic SEP JUN MO Park Road Park 6220 Park Rd., Charlotte 11 a.m.-3 p.m.

All the food and fixings are provided, along with games, a DJ, Twister, face painting and more. A picnic celebration all LGTBQ and ally families, presented

by Bank of America, Charlotte Black Gay Pride, Charlotte Pride, Food Lion, Human Rights Campaign and PFLAG Charlotte.

More details available online. charlottepride.org.

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Power of One Awards Fairfield inn & Suites Charlotte Uptown 201 S. McDowell St., Charlotte 5 p.m.

Honoring African-American, same-gender-loving men making an impact in the greater Charlotte community. Presented

by PowerHouse Charlotte. 2015 honorees include: Charlotte City Councilmember Al Austin, Nickel Bar owner Milton Howard and the Rev. Clifford Matthews, Jr., pastor of St. Luke Missionary Baptist Church.

Cocktail attire. Complimentary buffet. Free. powerhousecharlotte.org.

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Canine Couture Triple C Brewing Company, 2900 Griffith St., Charlotte 2-5 p.m.

Does your dog have the paws to walk the runway? If so, dress your adorable pooch up for success and join Charlotte Pride on June 6 for the most fabulous doggie fashion show you’ve ever seen!

Presented by Charlotte Pride, benefiting the Human Society of Charlotte. Fashion provided by SilverFly. $5/general admission, $20/VIP seating, $15/dog contest entry.

More information, ticket purchase and dog registration is available online. charlottepride.org/canine/.

SEP JUN MO

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To see more upcoming events, visit goqnotes.com/calendar/

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Forté! 2015 SEP JUN MO Mint Museum Uptown 500 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 4-7 p.m.

The Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte presents its sixth annual festive gala with food, drinks, auctions, all with fabulous friends! It’s a new day and new feel, but the same fun and frolic! Doors open at 3:30 p.m. $65. gmccharlotte.org.

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Continues through June 20 ‘Hollywood Squares: The Speakeasy Edition” Charlotte Ballet 701 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 8 p.m.

Carolinas Care Partnership SEP JUN MO 5K Reedy Creek Park 2900 Rocky River Rd., Charlotte 8 a.m.

This is a great trail race in a scenic park in Charlotte. Run through woodlands, around ponds, and back to the dramatic finish! Great for the coach-to-5K crew and those hardcore over-achievers.

Awards given for top spots by age and gender. Proceeds benefit Carolinas Care Partnership. carolinascare5k.racesonline.com.

–––––––––––––––––––– Voices Out Loud!

Caldwell Presbyterian Church 1609 E. 5th St., Charlotte 5 p.m.

Charlotte Black Gay Pride hosts a celebration of gospel classics. More information to be announced. charlotteblackgaypride.com.

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North Carolina Stonewall Kickball All Star Game

One Voice Chorus returns with Hollywood Squares, this time taking us back to the age of the Speakeasy — an era which brought us secret passwords, back-room indulgences and NASCAR! Come celebrate some of the greatest musicals like “Showboat,” “42nd Street,” “Cabaret” and more.

Performances at 8 p.m. on June 18, 19 and 20. Tickets on sale online. onevoicechorus.com.

Charlotte hosts North Carolina’s Stonewall Kickball teams for the statewide North Carolina All Star Game on June 6, featuring Stonewall leagues from Charlotte, Raleigh, Greensboro and Wilmington. Game schedules and locations to be announced soon, along with afterparties and other events. On the evening before, Friday, June 5, join Stonewall Kickball at Time Out Youth’s Platinum Gala. On Sunday, June 7, join the Kickballers at the Community Family Picnic (see more details in this calendar. For more details as they are announced, visit facebook.com/ events/761938347237983/.

Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/

goqnotes.com/to/life

life

OUR PEOPLE:

Q&A with Dianna Ward HRC Steering Committee member, Charlotte B-Cycle director

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com bike. He’d say cycling isn’t just something you do for fun, it’s a way to get around. Since I’ve been in Charlotte, it’s been a major form of my transportation. I keep my car parked and go check on it every now and then. My partner, Carol, has even added cycling in as a part of her errand running, so even her car sits a lot now.

When did you meet Carol?

In 2008. In church. Church and Christianity is important to me, so it was important to find someone with whom I was equally yoked. Church was the place.

Dianna Ward’s smile is infectious. Her spirit open and welcoming. She’s got principled views, a warm heart and open arms. I’ve had the pleasure of knowing Dianna for a while, and our conversations together have made me grow and reflect. She’s the kind of person who can make friends with anyone and make waves of progress and change on any front, no matter the challenges.

Dianna and I recently took a bike tour of Charlotte’s Little Sugar Creek Greenway as we got together for this short interview. Read more about that experience and see Dianna’s tips for local cycling on page 11. But, here, get to know Dianna a little bit more in this edition of our “Our People” Q&A… Dianna, 46, is executive director of Charlotte B-Cycle, a local non-profit bike sharing program. She’s also founder and owner of Charlotte NC Tours. Born in Albuquerque, N.M., she says her roots are in Mississippi and Memphis, and she moved to Charlotte in 2001, after living in Upstate New York, where she moved in 1995 after attending grad school at NC State. Our interview below is edited for brevity and clarity.

What brought you to Charlotte?

Before I moved here, I was living in Upstate New York. I was working in glass. I’m an applied mathematician. I was working alongside a bunch of glass scientists and geologists, creating glass for phones, TV, space program, beakers, plates, you name it. In 2001, I moved to Hickory to work for Corning. I lived there in a hotel for two months, but then I found Unity Fellowship Church Charlotte online, visited one week and decided I’m not living in Hickory. I’d lived in too many small towns. It was time to live in the big city.

You’re obviously a fan of cycling. Is it just a hobby or something more?

I’m actually a second-generation bicycle commuter. My dad used to commute to work on his

What’s your favorite neighborhood in Charlotte?

I live in Villa Heights. I had lived off Sunset Rd., in a house built by Harvey Gantt in the 1960s. The commute into town wasn’t the best. I’d often put my bike on the front of the bus and go down to Lasalle St., where there were some safer routes into town. I decided I wanted a lifestyle that included more walking and biking. My neighborhood is right in the middle of Plaza Midwood and Noda. Plaza Midwood is so diverse and places like Thomas St. Tavern are among my favorites.

You go to places like that and you’ll have a little bit of everybody sitting at a table and I feel at home. I don’t want to hang out with all black people or all gay people. I want to hang out and socialize in a space that looks like America.

Favorite food?

Definitely Mexican food. If I weren’t scared of being as big as a house, I’d eat it every day. I love, I crave Mexican food.

Fave season?

I love fall and spring. The temperatures are perfect for being outdoors. In the winter, you feel like you have to put on 10 layers of clothes to go where you want on a bike or during summer, it’s like, “Gah, can I take my skin off?!” It’s so hot in the summer. Spring and fall are also the most colorful months of the year. Fall, with the leaves changing, it’s like God’s color show that we get to sit back and be a part of.

Have you done any traveling? Have any iconic or memorable places you’ve seen?

I’ve done a lot of touring and traveling as an older adult. I started traveling and touring at 35, which was the impetus for me opening Charlotte NC Tours. I went to South Africa and it is just one of those paces you have to go to. It has the most beautiful landscape. It is gorgeous. But, it was also special being there.

People would call me sister. You know I’m a big cry baby and a big softie. It was amazing.

You touch African soil and it seems like this place that was once untouchable, so distant.

But you know your roots are from there and you get there and instantly, with no blood ties, people automatically see you as one of them. It was overwhelming. It’s overwhelming now just thinking about it today. : :

May 22-June 4 . 2015

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