QNotes, May 31, 2019

May 31-June 13, 2019

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May 31-June 13, 2019

inside this issue

May 31-June 13, 2019 Vol 34 No 03

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contributors this issue

Joey Amato, Jeff Byers, Buff Faye, Camilla K. Cannon, , Rev. Mary Frances Comer, Charlotte Journalism Collaborative, Vic Gerami, Jack Kirven, Lainey Millen, Jesse Monteagudo, David Aaron Moore, Stanley Popovich, Trinity

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Graphic Design by Lainey Millen Photography: David Aaron Moore (main); The Charlotte Observer (inset) Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBTQ and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBTQ life and social justice issues.

Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Managing Editor: Jim Yarbrough, x201, editor@goqnotes.com Assoc. Editor: Lainey Millen, specialassignments@goqnotes.com Copy Editor: Maria Dominguez Production: Lainey Millen, x205, production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.

Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2019 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction.

Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

charlotteobserver.com/1166/ a local news partner of The Charlotte Observer

10 A Look at the History of Housing for Charlotte’s LGBTQ Community

Bishop Tonyia M. Rawls

The founder of the Freedom Center for Social Justice shares her experience with the organization at its 10th anniversary and how the quest for fighting for others has spirited her on.

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New Trans Pub Released

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10 Questions with Vic: Reina Mora Tell Trinity Dishing with Buff Faye

life 8 ‘Status quo is not working.’

12 The Queen City: A Pride Retrospective 13 Family, Struggle and Solidarity in Charlotte’s Gay Bar Scene 14 Bishop Tonyia M. Rawls 15 Our People: Tina Wright and Nikki Lynn Thomas 20 Mental Health: Overcoming Worry

Charlotte’s Gay Bar Scene

Bar owner Gregg Brafford tells it like it was for the early club experience for the LGBTQ community, when support and solidarity were crucial. He also reflects on the current and future and how things have changed over the years.

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views 4 ‘The Best Little Boy in the World’ Runs for President 5 Pride Journey 17 Spiritual Reflections: Remember to Nurture Your Spirit

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CLT Knights LGBT Mingle Purple Note 4: Prince

On the front cover

Former Charlotte Observer staffer and qnotes editor Don King lived in this quadraplex at the corner of East Blvd. and Euclid Ave. During the ‘1970s and part of the early ‘1980s King operated a small gay and lesbian literary store in the front room of the right side unit on the second floor, known as Friends of Dorothy.

(Photo Credit: David Aaron Moore)

May 31-June 13, 2019

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‘The Best Little Boy in the World’ runs for president Jesse’s Journal

BY Jesse Monteagudo | Guest Contributor W. Bush and Bill Clinton. Though he is only 37, the youngest In 1973, the writer Andrew Tobias published his autobiograserious candidate for president — 20-year-old Elijah Manley phy, “The Best Little Boy in the World,” under the pen name of does not count — Buttigieg reminds us that he “has more years John Reid. Tobias was not the first or last gay man who tried to of government experience than the president, more years of compensate for his sexual orientation by striving to be the best executive government experience than the vice president, and in all his endeavors. more military experience than anybody to walk into the Oval Pete Buttigieg, the openly gay mayor of South Bend, Ind., is Office since President George H. W. Bush.” another good example of “the best little boy in the world.” In spite But even Pete Buttigieg has his faults, which his Democratic of his last name, pronounced “boot-edge-edge,” Mayor Pete has opponents were quick to point out. Buttigieg is a butch, an impressive resume, chronicled in his recently-published book white, cisgender male, which should not be held against him, “The Shortest Way Home: One Mayor’s Challenge and a Model for but which is reflected by his limited views and by the lack of America’s Future.” He was a lieutenant in the U.S. Navy Reserve, diversity at his campaign rallies (which are almost, but not serving in Afghanistan; a Rhodes scholar at the University of quite, as white as the makeup of the Trump rallies.) Buttigieg Oxford; a business analyst for a global management consulting realizes his shortcoming and is trying hard to reach out to firm; and, since 2011, mayor of South Bend. As Troy Mallis put African-Americans and other minorities. Mayor Pete has also it, “Buttigieg is attractive, charismatic, witty, down-to-earth and Bloomington, Ind. Mayor Pete Buttigieg, with a full been criticized for being long on generalizations and short on smart as a whip — perfect husband material.” (But he’s already resume, is running for president in the 2020 election as an specifics, unlike policy wonks like Elizabeth Warren. Finally, married.) He is multilingual in a country where most people, openly gay man. (Photo Credit: Ted Etyan via Wikimedia there is the fact that Pete Buttigieg is gay, which should not be including the president, can barely speak one language. All that Commons. CC-BY-SA-2.0 license) a detriment, but which still is in a largely homophobic country.

Buttigieg has left to do is run for president, and as a Democrat.

In any case, voters who hate Pete because he is gay are voting When Mayor Pete announced his candidacy, most pundits for Trump regardless of his sexual orientation. put him down as a flash in the pan, soon to be replaced by more “serious” candidates. But Like most “best little boys in the world,” Pete Buttigieg is happily married. His husband Buttigieg has proven to be quite resilient. Public opinion polls have placed the mayor in third is Chasten Glezman, who changed his name to Buttigieg and who is famous for his social place, just behind the old warhorses, Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders. Even Donald Trump, media accounts. The couple own two rescue dogs, Truman and Buddy, though they plan who likes to insult anyone who dares to oppose him, took notice when he called Mayor Pete to have a child some day. Though Pete Buttigieg is in the eighth and final year as mayor of “Alfred E. Neuman,” after MAD magazine’s cover boy. (There is some resemblance.) On his South Bend, he has a bright future ahead of him, even if he is not elected president. I look web page, peteforamerica.com, Buttigieg declares that “It’s time for a new generation of forward to greater achievements from Pete Buttigieg, “the best little boy in the world.” : : American leadership” after decades of misgovernment by baby boomers like Trump, George

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May 31-June 13, 2019

Pride Journey Provincetown/Cape Cod

BY Joey Amato | Guest Contributor

Providence, Mass. is synonymous with gay Pride and LGBTQ party goers, be it winter or summer. P-Town hosts a score of events that appeal to a wide range of tastes and wants.

(Photo Credit: Ted Etyan via Flickr. CC BY-SA 2.0 license) By now, most of you know I march to the beat of my own drummer, so when I decided to visit a summer time destination in the winter, people weren’t surprised.

Cape Cod is known for attracting throngs of LGBTQ beach and party goers to its northmost tip, Provincetown. Having never been to P-Town, the locals found it surprising that I would visit during the winter, when the towns population is a fraction of what it is during the summer.

My first stop on my Cape Cod journey was the town of Hyannis, located about mid-way up the cape. On the suggestion of a friend of mine, I booked a stay at the Sea Street Inn, a lovely five-bedroom bed and breakfast located just blocks from the ocean and minutes away from the historic Kennedy Compound.

The Sea Street Inn is not your typical B&B. Upon arrival, I was greeted by the proprietor Adrian and offered a lobster roll as a “welcome to the Cape” gift. The property was designed by Adrian and his wife Xenia in 2018 and features a beautiful art gallery, sitting area and dining solarium where guests can enjoy breakfast or their morning coffee. Adrian is a classically trained French chef who studied under Jean-Georges Vongerichten, so the Sea Street Inn offers a dinner menu that rivals any four-star restaurant. I had the opportunity to sample some of the best food in recent memory including a delectable smoked trout and brie dish in addition to a crab BLT. A short drive from the Sea Street Inn is the John F. Kennedy Hyannis Museum, a multimedia exhibit designed to highlight the days JFK spent on Cape Cod relaxing with family, entertaining world leaders and sailing on the ocean, one of his favorite hobbies.

The Museum’s exhibits feature videos and photographs spanning the years 1934 to 1963. In addition to photography,

an orientation video narrated by Walter Cronkite depicts the president’s experiences on the Cape.

I decided to take an afternoon adventure to Nantucket on the high-speed ferry, which whisks you to the oasis in about an hour. Even in the winter, Nantucket is gorgeous. With limited time to explore the island, I wasted no time and headed straight to the Whaling Museum to view their Festival of Trees exhibition which transforms the museum into a festive winter wonderland for the entire month of December. The highlight of the museum is the Whale Hunt Gallery which explores all aspects of the demanding and dangerous trade of 18th century whaling. Although I am against this trade, it was an important part of the area’s history. The centerpiece of the gallery is the skeleton of a 46-foot male sperm whale, which died on Siasconset beach on Jan. 1, 1998.

Nantucket is filled with wonderful boutiques and family-owned restaurants.

I asked around and almost everyone on the island recommended I try the Lola Burger at Lola 41. It was probably the most expensive hamburger I have ever ordered at $22, but the perfectly cooked burger was served with Cabot Cheddar Cheese, a red onion compote and foie sauce. One of my favorite things to do is pair a burger with a nice glass of Pinot Noir. It was the perfect way to end my journey before heading back to the mainland.

About halfway between Hyannis and P-Town is The Cape Cod Museum of Natural History, a small museum which also serves as a nature education center which is worth visiting if you have some time to spare on your way up the cape. The museum offer guests a variety of programs, classes, lectures, panel discussions and interactive exhibits that reveal the many facets of Cape Cod’s natural wonders.

Driving into Provincetown for the first time was magical. I felt like I was exploring a small island town filled with narrow cobblestone streets, dozens of art galleries, quaint restaurants and of course LGBTQ establishments. The more time I spent in P-Town, the more I began to realize why people are in love with this destination. You feel like you’re in a gay oasis a million miles away from the rest of society and free to do whatever you want, without judgement. Even the straight community that visits the town is accepting of LGBTQ people and everyone is extremely welcoming and friendly.

One of my first stops in P-Town was the Provincetown Art Association & Museum, a collective gallery exhibiting the works of local artists, many of whom identify as LGBTQ [community members]. One half of the space is dedicated to museum caliber works while the other half serves as a gallery space where people have the opportunity to purchase local art.

There are many lodging options in P-Town, but I decided to stay at Land’s End Inn for its location at the tip of the peninsula. My room, which was called the Library Room, offered unobstructed views of both the sunrise and sunset and is located just a few minutes from Herring Cove Beach. Antique lovers will be in heaven at Land’s End Inn. Its décor is more traditional than I usually enjoy, but lends nicely to the property’s rich history. In addition to complimentary breakfast, the inn also offers a daily wine reception where you can mingle with other hotel guests.

Surprisingly, 2018 was the first time Provincetown held a gay Pride festival. I guess when the town is gay all the time, people didn’t find the need for one. This year’s festival is scheduled for May 30 through June 2. Last year’s festival featured a rainbow laser instillation, a disco dance party and a Pride sashay/stroll.

Bear Week will take place this July and is an annual gathering of…bears.

It’s one of the largest and busiest theme weeks in Provincetown, attracting tens of thousands of men and hosting dozens of parties and shows. Another fun event is P-Town’s annual Carnival, which will take place Aug. 15-25 and celebrates the towns LGBTQ culture.

To get the best view of the town, climb to the top of Pilgrim Monument which was constructed to honor the Pilgrims’ first landing in Provincetown. President Theodore Roosevelt laid the cornerstone in 1907 and the 252-foot tower was completed in 1910.

The only thing I didn’t like about Provincetown was the cost of food. An inexpensive dinner can easily run about $30.

I tried finding a few less expensive places to dine and stumbled upon Canteen. Try their homemade clam chowder, you won’t be disappointed. If you want something sweet, head to Purple Feather Café and indulge in one of their special desserts or famous white hot chocolate.

During my stay, the gay bars were a bit slow, but this is something that I expected.

Visiting in the winter helped me navigate the town easier than during the summer months, and when I return, I’ll feel like a local. If you aren’t into crowds but still want to get a feel for the town, I would recommend visiting during shoulder season… May or October. Otherwise, be prepared for one non-stop party if you decide to visit this summer. I know I’ll be back!

Enjoy the journey! : : Joey Amato is the publisher of Pride Journeys, a website dedicated to LGBTQ travel. He has spent over a decade in LGBTQ media and public relations and currently resides in both Nashville, Tenn. and Indianapolis, Ind. Visit his website at pridejourneys.com.

May 31-June 13, 2019

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news Groundbreaking new publication promotes health and safety of transgender youth in confinement facilities SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. — The National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR) and the Center for Children’s Law and Policy (CCLP) released a new publication, “Model Policy: Transgender, Gender Nonconforming, and Intersex Youth in Youth Confinement Facilities,” with support from the National PREA Resource Center. The model policy provides a blueprint of practices that promote the safety, dignity and well-being of transgender, gender nonconforming, and intersex (TGNCI) youth in youth justice facilities.

The policy was developed with input from a diverse group of advocates, justice professionals and formerly incarcerated young individuals.

The vulnerability of TGNCI youth is well-documented. In a 2018 survey of 5,600 transgender and gender nonconforming youth, 84 percent of youth experienced verbal threats, 53 percent experienced bullying at school, 57% percent had been mocked or taunted by their families and 16 percent had been sexually attacked or raped — all based on their actual or perceived gender identity. Because of pervasive stigma and discrimination, TGNC youth are more likely to experience psychological distress, homelessness and bullying. TGNC youth of color, who experience discrimination at the intersections of race and gender, are vulnerable to extraordinarily high rates of violence and mistreatment.

Researchers estimate that up to 1.7 percent of people are born with intersex traits. Although transgender and

intersex identities are distinct, both groups encounter discrimination based on gender identity or gender expression and both groups lack access to competent medical care.

Some intersex children undergo unnecessary, irreversible and involuntary surgeries, and transgender youth are often denied medically necessary, gender af irming treatment.

Pervasive rejection and discrimination in their homes, schools and communities contribute to the overrepresentation of TGNCI youth in youth confinement facilities. According to recent national data 12 percent of youth in juvenile facilities identify as transgender or gender nonconforming, and 85% of those are of color.

“TGNCI youth are extremely vulnerable in confinement settings. They experience higher levels of sexual abuse, harassment and mistreatment, particularly when facilities lack clear, enforceable guidance on how to protect their safety and promote their well-being. They deserve affirming care and support, and this model policy will be the blueprint,” said Shannan Wilber, youth policy director at NCLR and one of publication’s authors. The Prison Rape Elimination Act of 2003 (PREA) standards require confinement facilities to adopt policies and procedures to protect TGNCI youth from sexual abuse and sexual harassment. Many confinement facilities need assistance developing policies that appropriately implement these protections and the National PREA Resource Center supported NCLR in development of this policy.

The model policy addresses a range of practices that create a safe and healthy environment for TGNCI youth: • How can facility staff safely and respectfully identify TGNCI residents?

• W hat concrete steps can facilities take to affirm the gender identity of youth?

• How can facilities assess and remedy the risks associated with TGNCI status?

• Where should TGNCI youth be housed in sex-segregated facilities?

• How can facilities protect the privacy of TGNCI residents?

• What specific considerations govern searches of TGNCI youth?

• How can facilities provide gender affirming medical and behavioral health care?

• What systems can facilities create to permit youth to confidentially report abuse and protect them from retaliation?

• How can facilities prepare TGNCI youth to successfully return to their communities?

• What can facilities do to prepare custodial staff to support and affirm TGNCI residents?

Jason Szanyi, deputy director at the Center for Children’s Law and Policy (CCLP) and one of the publication’s authors says, “We are seeing a huge demand among youth justice professionals for training and guidance on the unique needs of TGNCI youth, particularly in secure settings. This publication provides the foundation for an agency or facility policy on TGNCI youth. Adopting a policy based on these model provisions will signiicantly decrease the harms experienced in custody by this vulnerable population and create a safer environment for all youth.

The PREA Resource Center is run through a cooperative agreement between Impact Justice and the Bureau of Justice Assistance, Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice. Its aim is to provide assistance to those responsible for state and local adult prisons and jails, juvenile facilities, community confinement facilities, lockups, tribal organizations, incarcerated people and their families in their efforts to eliminate sexual abuse in confinement. info: nclrights.org.

May 31-June 13, 2019

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‘Status quo is not working.’

Can Charlotte Find Solutions for Affordable Housing Crisis?

BY THE CHARLOTTE JOURNALISM COLLABORATIVE | Guest Contributor

It’s become an iconic counter-image to the boomtimes all around us in Charlotte: a sign held up at a city council meeting sounding the alarm: ‘I Can’t Afford To Live Here.’ (Photo Credit: The Charlotte Observer)

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n Baltimore, families living in low-income and crimeridden neighborhoods got extra money to move to the suburbs.

In New York City, tenants threatened with eviction received free help from lawyers.

And in Chatham County, Spanish-speaking immigrants who were being kicked out of a mobile home park got help from a non-profit.

Like most major American cities, Charlotte is suffering from a severe shortage of affordable housing.

More than a third of households in Charlotte are “cost-burdened,” which means they spend more than 30 percent of their income on housing, according to a city report. The federal government says that leaves them with too little money for food, clothes, medicine and other basic needs.

Charlotte would need roughly 34,000 more units of affordable housing to meet the need, mostly for families and others who make less than $25,000 a year, the report says.

But Charlotte — North Carolina’s biggest city — has failed to take significant steps that have helped other cities and counties address the problem and reduce displacement, homelessness and economic inequality, housing activists say.

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Fast-rising rents and home prices, population growth and stagnant wages have been major factors in Charlotte, but specific decisions by developers and city leaders have had negative consequences that reverberate today.

Some are as old as the former Brooklyn community, the African-American neighborhood razed under the banner of urban renewal. Others are as modern as the creation of Ballantyne and Charlotte’s light rail line.

Over the next few months and possibly beyond, the Charlotte Journalism Collaborative will be exploring the city’s affordable housing crisis through a solutions journalism lens in a project called “I Can’t Afford to Live Here.” Reporters will search for responses to the problems by looking to other areas of the country.

The collaborative is in partnership with the Solutions Journalism Network, a non-profit whose mission is to spread solutions journalism practices to newsrooms on this continent and beyond. The Charlotte Journalism Collaborative is funded by the Knight Foundation. Its members are The Charlotte Observer, Charlotte Mecklenburg Library, La Noticia, Qcitymetro , qnotes, Queens University of Charlotte, WCNC, Free Press and WFAE.

As part of the effort, former Observer reporter Pam Kelley and other reporters will examine some of the key moments that set the pattern for Charlotte’s current housing environment.

“The status quo is not working,” Fulton Meachem, chief executive officer of the Charlotte Housing Authority, said of his agency’s clients’ ability to find low-cost housing in neighborhoods with solid schools, good jobs and transportation. “We’re 50th out of 50 (big cities in economic mobility) for a reason.” In response to a lack of affordable housing, Charlotte and Mecklenburg County leaders and big businesses have pledged to spend tens of millions of dollars (bit.ly/2YJVBUL) to build new affordable housing, renovate existing homes and provide rental subsidies.

Much of the money will come from $50 million in bonds voters approved in November Housing activists and social justice groups said Charlotte should emulate programs that have worked in other places.Here’s how some other cities and organizations have tried to tackle the affordable housing shortage:

Moving Up? Baltimore is one of the nation’s most troubled big cities.

It has one of the highest murder rates in the country.

More than one in five residents live in poverty.

In 2005, a federal judge ruled that the government was responsible for segregated public housing in Baltimore, a violation of federal civil rights law.

That’s how the Baltimore Housing Mobility Program grew. The program takes public housing residents — typically African-American women and their children living in impoverished neighborhoods — and offers them a higher housing allowance than the federal government normally provides if they are willing to take classes and move into new neighborhoods. The new neighborhoods, called “Opportunity Zones,” have stronger schools, more job opportunities and public transit, according a 2018 report from Vox (bit.ly/2YP07Bj), a news website.

Since 2005, more than 4,000 families have participated.

Successes in Baltimore and other cities such as Chicago and Dallas prompted federal lawmakers last year to set aside $28 million (bit.ly/2YGU1mq) for demonstration programs for an idea that started in the 1970s.

The Charlotte Housing Authority started its program about a year ago and studied the model practiced in Baltimore. But only seven families have participated so far.

The issue is significant because research suggests that where children are raised significantly impacts their ability to climb out of poverty. A prominent national study (bit. ly/2YJ3j1a) found Charlotte ranked 50th — dead last — among the nation’s biggest cities for economic mobility.

More than 4,000 families in Charlotte rely on subsidies from the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development to help pay rent. Under the program, families and others with low incomes pay 30 percent of their income toward rent and the government covers the rest.

But landlords’ refusal to accept tenants (bit.ly/2YUp1Qf) who use Section 8 vouchers undercuts the government’s goal of helping families escape poverty and move to the neighborhoods with good schools, jobs and transportation, said Meachem, leader of the Charlotte Housing Authority.

The agency plans to help as many as 100 families move to neighborhoods with better opportunities by providing them with bigger housing allowances, which would give them the ability to pay for housing in areas where rents are higher.

“It is not housing choice if you can only choose one poor neighborhood or another,” said Barbara Samuels, managing attorney for ACLU of Maryland’s Fair Housing Project, which was part of the lawsuit that brought about Baltimore’s program. “Living in a distressed neighborhood is not good for kids. We have a lot of evidence that children are being harmed.”

Forced Out New York City, San Francisco and Newark, N.J., have recently enacted laws ensuring some people facing eviction get legal representation in court, according to an April report (n.pr/2YLSwDA) from National Public Radio.

So-called “right to counsel” programs attempt to address one of the most enduring disparities in the American justice system: Most landlords have legal representation in eviction court while most tenants do not.

A recent study (bit.ly/2YUq1DZ) in New York found evictions decreased more than five times faster in areas where the new rules were in effect than in those that were not included.

Charlotte’s eviction rate is nearly twice as high (bit. ly/2YGovFg) as some of its peer cities such as Atlanta, Nashville, Kansas City and Tampa, according to research.

But Legal Aid of North Carolina represents about 250 of the 29,000 people who face eviction in Mecklenburg

County every year, according to a Charlotte Observer report (bit.ly/2EvSW9E) from March.

A proposed budget from Mecklenburg County Manager Dena Diorio includes $500,000 to expand Legal Aid’s office and provide assistance to tenants.

Wall Street Moves Into Trailer Parks Over the last three years, Wall Street private firms have bought thousands of mobile home parks and raised the price to live there.

Wall Street titans such as the Carlyle Group and the Blackstone Group have taken ownership of more than 100,000 home lots, says a recent report from watchdog groups (bit.ly/2HCFgeL).

The firms have reaped handsome profits, according to a report from The Washington Post (wapo.st/2HzUZes).

Often Spanish-speaking immigrants have paid the price.

Large numbers of Latino families in the Charlotte area live in mobile home parks, where prices have shot up.

Residents often own their trailers, but must pay lot rent to the park owner. As corporate landlords have raised the rent, activists say residents have little choice but to pay up because they can’t move.

In many cases, the trailers are prohibitively expensive to move or contracts forbid owners from moving them.

Activists say that means that immigrants have been victimized by predatory operators, including some who charge them more and refuse to make needed repairs.

They said Charlotte leaders have failed to give the issue enough attention and help immigrants advocate for themselves.Activists point to a recent case in Chatham County.

In November 2017, Mountaire Farms announced plans to expand its poultry processing operations and bought Johnson’s Mobile Home Park in Siler City.

The company offered tenants money for their homes and ordered them to leave in a few weeks.

But the non-profit organization El Vínculo HispanoHispanic Liaison organized tenant protests and made appeals to the Chatham County Board of Commissioners. By March 2018, the group renegotiated with Mountaire Farms and residents got a better price for their homes and more time to leave.

Charlotte city leaders have acknowledged they have not studied the impact of corporate landlords on rents (bit. ly/2VLH7Sd), despite Wall Street firms buying thousands of houses in recent years.

Safe Place to Stay The number of Americans age 50 and older who identify as LGBTQ is likely to double in the coming decades to more than 5 million, according to a study (bit.ly/2HBxWzV) from the University of Washington.

Another report found nearly half of LGBTQ older adults have faced rental housing discrimination, according to SAGE (bit.ly/2HA45bb), a national advocacy group for older LGBTQ people.

The organization is conducting a campaign to bring more attention to discrimination senior same-sex couples face in trying to find housing in retirement communities (bit.ly/2HDhvDv) and nursing homes.

In other urban areas around the country, there are apartment buildings like the John C Anderson apartments in Philadelphia (bit.ly/2YMPb7a) that offer its residents a LGBTQ-friendly senior community.

But in North Carolina, there are few residential communities and apartment buildings that perform direct outreach.

About the Solutions Journalism Network, from one of the founders

The CJC is part of a growing national movement to re-balance the news via solutions journalism, the rigorous reporting on responses to social problems.

“Solutions journalism heightens accountability by reporting on where and how people are doing better against a problem — removing excuses and setting a bar for what citizens should expect from institutions or government,” says Solutions Journalism Network co-founder David Bornstein, co-author of “The Fix” column in The New York Times: “It offers a more comprehensive and representative view of the world. And it circulates timely knowledge to

help society self-correct, spotlighting adaptive responses that people and communities can learn from.

“Even hard-nosed investigative reporters agree that the news provides an excessively dismay view of the world.

Audiences regularly come away from the news — even high-quality news — feeling powerless, anxious and resentful. When the daily news product makes people want to tune out and disengage, it doesn’t bode well for the news business — or for democracy.

“We believe journalism can do better. It can provide a view of the world that’s faithful to reality. It can strengthen engagement with audiences and rebuild trust.”

One is Care Free Cove (bit.ly/2YMPz5C), a sprawling residential neighborhood near Boone that was developed by a lesbian couple from Florida. Residents buy a plot of land and build their own homes. : : Charlotte Journalism Collaborative: Fred Clasen-Kelly of The Charlotte Observer, David A. Moore and Jim Yarbrough of qnotes, Diego Barahona and Hilda Gurdian of La Noticia, Glenn Burkins of Qcitymetro, Jennifer Lang of WFAE and Amy Lehtonen of WCNC contributed.

Editor’s Note: Why the journalism collaborative is focusing on the affordable housing crisis This is the face of the affordable housing crisis in the Charlotte region, where rapid growth and accelerating demand is pricing out residents with the fewest resources, including people of color and working class residents affected by skyrocketing rents, property values and taxes and the increasing problems of displacement and gentrification.

As cities like San Francisco can attest with its impossible housing costs, few factors have more influence on the kind of city Charlotte will become than the ability to find a safe and affordable place to live and work, interact with your neighbors and community and raise a family. That’s why this issue is starting to get such attention from government, business and non-profit groups.

Few issues are as difficult to solve, however, inter-twining property rights, zoning, transportation, business decisions, educational quality, politics and equity, plus the legacy of a long history of housing discrimination still deeply embedded in our neighborhood patterns.

That’s why in-depth understanding of the underlying issues is so important. And why equally in-depth analysis of possible solutions is essential, to help illuminate the choices ahead, the work needed to solve this problem.

That’s also why the Solutions Journalism Network and the Knight Foundation teamed up to form the new Charlotte Journalism Collaborative a few months ago. And why the group selected the affordable housing issue as the initial focus for the reporting work we will publish over the coming year.

This is the introductory story for upcoming series of reports by the partnership of six major media organizations: La Noticia, The Charlotte Observer, WCNC-TV, QCity Metro, WFAE 90.7FM and QNotes, as well as the James L. Knight School of Communication at Queens University of Charlotte, the Charlotte Mecklenburg Library and Free Press, a communityengagement organization. The group is expected to grow over time to include other media organizations as well.

Working together, our journalists will report on how Charlotte’s crisis emerged over the years, on possible solutions in new zoning and planning tools, new ideas for funding affordable housing such as land trusts and school-based teacher housing, success stories of neighborhoods embracing the benefits of affordable housing in their areas, successes in building senior-focused LGBTQ housing and a lot more.

We’ll also engage in community meetings and discussions around these issues, seeking ideas from Charlotte residents most affected by the affordable housing crisis on how best to cover this issue, what solutions would work for them. And we’ll take deepdives into the best ideas on how other communities facing similar problems are tackling them and making an impact.

We look forward to this journey.

Michael Davis, SJN South Region Manager Neil Mara, Project Editor

May 31-June 13, 2019

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A look at the history of housing for Charlotte’s LGBTQ community Historic Urban Housing Once Affordable for City’s Gays is No Longer

BY David Aaron Moore | Guest Contributor

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members in need and shows here have been times when just how much Dilworth was I’ve had friends visit and Charlotte’s gay central. “These they invariably ask, “Where’s young gay guys would come Charlotte’s gay neighborhood?” out to their families, and end These days, that generally leaves up being kicked out of their me scratching my head. homes,” he explained. “Some In modern day Charlotte, it’s of them were so destitute, they not uncommon to find gay-owned had nowhere to go.” businesses and residents all Shelton recalls stories about around town. Fact of the matter many of them found refuge is, Charlotte’s a pretty gay place. in the gay bath house Club Between Atlanta and Washington, South, where the owner would D.C., the city has the region’s largest actually rent them rooms to gay population. live in while searching for more There are substantial concenpermanent housing. trations of LGBTQ folk living in So what happened to the neighborhoods like Plaza-Midwood, gay crown of the Queen City?

Dilworth, NoDa, Elizabeth, Uptown, Where did everybody go?

South End, Myers Park, Sedgefield, “Back in the ’70s and ’80s Wesley Heights and others, but gay men were renting apartthere is no one area that is recogments in the area so cheaply nized as the heart of Charlotte’s and snatching up property for gay community. next to nothing,” says Bill Little, For the most part, all of the a Charlotte native who lived in aforementioned neighborhoods Dilworth for many years and require a fairly substantial income rented an apartment in a 1920s for purchasing a home, and, more quadraplex on Tremont Ave. “It often than not, especially when was a fun place to live.” looking for a rental residence. There According to Little and are many reasons for this, but the Shelton, the neighborhood startlargest challenge is economic. ed to change by the early 1990s, Ever increasing costs of resias young, upwardly mobile hetdential spaces, utility services and The Tryon House has served as a popular gay residential spot for decades. (Photo Credit: David Aaron Moore) erosexual couples came to appreproperty taxes, along with a never inciate the historic aspects of the creasing minimum wage, have made neighborhood, and the beauty of intown living out of reach for a large “I was just a kid,” he recalls, “but gay people were pretty the restored architecture. portion of the LGBTQ community. much everywhere in Dilworth back then.

“Gay men started to sell their properties,” Little recalls.

But it wasn’t always like this.

“I wasn’t able to go out because I wasn’t old enough, “Sometimes they were doubling, and even tripling their As early as the mid 1970s, and continuing up until as but I knew where all the businesses were.” money,” Shelton adds. late as the early 1990s, Charlotte’s Dilworth neighborhood According to Shelton, he would often sneak out of his By the dawn of the millennium, many of the LGBTQ served as the Queen City’s most densely populated gay family home late at night and go to a nearby restaurant residents who had rented were priced out of Dilworth. community. And it was affordable: during the 1980s apartcalled the White Tower to get a milkshake Owners who had sold their homes couldn’t afford to ments were easily rented for $350 and 1920s Bungalows “It was around the same time the bars would be closing return even if they had wanted to. As for younger gay could be purchased for $50k and sometimes less. down, so lots of drag queens and gay guys would go there people, unless they were well-monied, the prospect of liv“That is correct,” says Craig Shelton, a Charlotte resiafter clubs like Oleen’s closed. They knew I was just a kid, ing in Dilworth was out of the question. dent who grew up in the Dilworth neighborhood in the but they were friendly, and they would talk to me.”

Sadly, what was once the heart of Charlotte’s gay com1970s and 1980s.

As a result of those conversations, munity stopped beating for LGBTQ folk, just as it took on a Shelton got an early education about new life for the city as a whole.

Dilworth’s gay culture.

But that wasn’t the death knell for a specific and heav“There were multiple clubs and ily populated area of queer folk in the Queen City. restaurants that were gay and gayCharlotte’s Center City, alternately referred to as friendly,” he recalled. “The office for Uptown and Downtown over the years, was once home to The Free Press, which was Charlotte’s many old Victorian style homes. Most of those were defirst gay publication, was right at the molished to make way for high rise business construction corner of East and West Boulevard, by the early 1970s. However, a few apartment buildings a gay and lesbian gift and book store from the same period remained in the center city proper called Friends of Dorothy was on East and the old Fourth Ward neighborhood, which today is Boulevard and there was a gay bath recognized as a proper part of Uptown. house on South Boulevard.”

In the heart of the city was Tryon House, a designated Shelton recalled two incidents from historic building with a classic early 20th century façade. the late 1970s that are worthy of menAs far as rental properties go, the building was and tioning when looking back at Charlotte’s remains an affordable alternative for center city living. former premier gayborhood.

Since the 1960s and even today, it has been an immensely “The area had become so gay poppopular residential spot for the city’s gay male commuular,” he remembered, “that one club nity. Shelton confirmed that a previous manager of Tryon put up a sign in front of their business House, himself gay, made a concerted effort during the that said ‘A Straight Place to Relax!’” time he managed the building to rent apartments out to The experience of some of a specific LGBTQ clientele. The popularity of that building Shelton’s openly gay teenage friends attracted others in the community to the area, which afA rebirth: Charlotte’s gay community flocked to Fourth Ward to buy 19th and early is definitely an example of how the forded access to mass transportation and a quick traverse 20th century homes in the late 1980s. (Photo Credit: David Aaron Moore) community came together to help to popular gay night spots of the day, such as The Odyssey

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Lounge, a short five minute trip by car to Freedom Dr. Other gay-popular and affordable old apartment buildings nearby in Fourth Ward were The Jefferson and The Fredrick.

The location of the two latter likely served as a springboard for the rejuvenation of Fourth Ward, which is the only remaining center city residential neighborhood that still has 19th and early 20th century homes. In the mid 1980s, “the man that built Charlotte” per Our State Magazine, Hugh McColl, the CEO of what was then known as NCNB (now Bank of America), mounted an effort to bring the old neighborhood back to life.

“Gay men jumped on board and were grabBungalows from the 1920s that once sold for $50,000 now go for $1 million bing up old houses over there like crazy,” Little and more. (Photo Credit: David Aaron Moore) recalls. In addition to restoration of the older existing homes, many new condos and apartand the Brass Rail, both located within walking distance ment buildings sprung up in the surrounding at the corner of Tryon and Morehead, and The Scorpio area, resulting in an influx of more LGBTQ residents who

enjoy the urban lifestyle and the amenities it has to offer.

While that is still the case today, the area and the properties are largely out of budget range for young gays and lesbians looking to make a home in the inner city.

In addition to the aforementioned neighborhoods and Charlotte residential spots mentioned here that have been popular with the LGBTQ community of the past, other apartment communities such as The Morningside Apartments and The Martha Washington Apartment Homes once provided affordable accommodations for many gays and lesbians up until the time they were demolished in the early 21st century. Both were in close proximity to the Plaza-Midwood neighborhood (east of Uptown, bordering Central Ave.), which began to grow in popularity with the LGBTQ community in the 1990s and has — like other inner city neighborhoods — since grown largely out of the price range of younger renters and buyers.

While providing adequate living space for an increasing population is clearly a concern now and in the future, another question remains: how is this achieved affordably? : :

(left to right) Fourth Ward 19th/early 20th century home; Charlotte native Bill Little rented this shotgun apartment (upper right) on Tremont Avenue in Dilworth in the 1980s; Fourth Ward 19th/early 20th century homes; Despite huge rental increases, some properties in Dilworth remain virtually unchanged over the past 40 years; and The Frederick also served as a popular gay residential spot for decades.

(Photo Credit: David Aaron Moore)

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The Queen City: A Pride Retrospective The Early Years of Pride Events in Charlotte

BY Jeff Byers | QNotes CONTRIBUTING WRITER

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ll over the U. S. and many countries, June is recognized as Pride month for the LGBTQ community and its allies. June was chosen because of the 1969 Stonewall Riots which took place in the Greenwich Village neighborhood of Manhattan.

The riots were sparked by years of police violence and harassment of LGBTQ people which came to a boiling point in the early morning on June 28 ,1969. While other acts of protest had taken place in earlier years, the Stonewall Riots marked a turning point in the lives of LGBTQ people and sparked the modern movement toward visibility and equality.

While the riots lead to almost immediate organization and action in New York and other large cities, places like Charlotte, with its conservative environment, were not so easy to organize. In 1969, homosexuality was still criminalized in every state except Illinois. Even in major cities, LGBTQ people could not live publicly and those who tried faced harassment and violence.

Considering its size in 1969, Charlotte had an active gay social scene even with the oppressive atmosphere.

But political organization and activism would develop incrementally. Pride events in Charlotte grew out of the activism of the 1970’s, such as the short-lived Charlotte Gay Alliance co-founded by the late Don King in 1972, and a chapter of Dignity, organized in 1977, and later changed to Acceptance to expand its diversity and outreach. There was a small unpromoted event at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte (UNCC) that same year.

Arguably, Queen City Quordinators (QCQ) organized in 1981, was the most important catalyst for Pride in Charlotte.

The group was founded by King, along with partners, Billie Stickell and Samis Rose and others. They organized the first Charlotte Pride event in June of 1981. It was held at UNCC, and even had Budweiser as a corporate sponsor. The atmosphere has been described as more of a field day, with a music stage, softball tournament (by the Stinging Scorpions, incidentally) and speakers.

That first event was promoted by word of mouth, due to possible backlash against attendees, but later events would be publicized. It would set a precedent for Pride events to come. By 1983 QCQ-sponsored events gained much more visibility — there was kickoff party at Scorpio, a beer bust at the Brass Rail, an open house at Friends of Dorothy Book Shop, a Beer Social at Tags and an afternoon tea dance at

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the Odyssey. Most significantly, private donors and organizations raised $600 to fund a quarter page ad in The Charlotte Observer, to educate the public on the purpose and history of Pride. The festival also gained local news coverage for the first time.

From 1987 to 1989 QCQ/Q-Notes sponsored a Gay Pride Picnic with an atmosphere more like a big family reunion or community celebration. The events featured barbecue, volleyball and horseshoes. It took place in Bryant Park off Morehead. The park had a history of use by the gay community for social events.

Pride continued to be celebrated during the month of June, and in 1990, there was a coordinated effort that year between Columbia, Chapel Hill and Charlotte.

Q-Notes (later rebranded as qnotes) continued to sponsor a Pride Picnic from 1990 to 1993. The WOW women’s organization held their own picnic the following week, and 1990 marked the debut of Charlotte’s One Voice Chorus, which also travelled to the marches in Columbia and Chapel Hill, where they joined Durham’s Common Women’s Chorus in performance.

The first actual Pride March in Charlotte took place in 1994, when Charlotte hosted the North Carolina Pride Festival and Parade, which had been taking place in Durham. Activist Don King opined in Q-Notes that Charlotte’s NC Pride would be “a celebration, a festival, a classroom and a defiant demand for equality .“ The event delivered on that promise starting with a kickoff gala, featuring keynote speaker Donna Redwing

of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against defamation (GLAAD). Then up and coming comedian Lea DeLaria performed two shows at the uptown Radisson which also hosted 22 seminars including one by noted activists Dr. Mel White and Mandy Carter, whose talk was facilitated by the NC Conference on GLBT Youth. That Sunday’s Pride March was moved up an hour after protest from First Baptist Church, located near the starting point at Marshall Park.

The late Danny Leonard, owner of the Friends Lounge in Jacksonville, N.C., and activist and beloved drag entertainer, also known as “Brandy Alexander,” co-marshalled the march with noted activist Deb Kirby Saleeby. The 1994 NC Pride was a major success, drawing over 5,000 people with an emphasis on activism, awareness and action.

A wrap up gala dance party at Nation’s Bank Founders Hall drew 2,500.

As the largest LGBTQ event in N.C., the 1994 Pride drew praise from the community, and while protestors were more numerous than at current events, they were dwarfed by the crowd. The media covered the event with fairness and respect and local TV personality and PFLAG parent Cullen Ferguson marched with his wife, even though his television station failed to mention that fact. Hopes were high that Charlotte could build on the success of 1994.

Because of the 1995 return of NC Pride to Durham, a smaller Pride event was organized by an ad hoc committee, including activist Sue Henry. Hosted at the Van Landingham Estate in Plaza-Midwood, the celebration featured entertainment, a potluck dinner and booths for local LGBTQ organizations and businesses.

Surprisingly in following years, there were no organized Charlotte events for Pride, and other cities like Asheville and Winston-Salem, continued to host NC Pride, alternating every other year with Durham. In fact, Charlotte had no organized Pride events until the organization of Charlotte Pride in 2000 by Jeff Schmehl.

According to the organization’s website, Charlotte Pride made its debut in 2001, with a festival held in Marshall Park, which would be the home for Charlotte Pride through 2005. The later year had been marked by a large group of “protestors” led by local homophobic preacher Michael see Pride Retrospective on 15

Family, struggle and solidarity in Charlotte’s gay bar scene Looking Back with Gregg Brafford

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BY Camilla K. Cannon | QNotes Staff Writer

community...you knew everyone there, n 1984, when Greg Brafford became partand they were your friends.” In addiowner of O’leens, one of Charlotte, N.C.’s tion to being a place where gay people most storied gay bars, the city was not far in the community could build their removed from the time when “suspected chosen family, patrons and employees homosexuals” would be arrested in Freedom also helped each other with the more Park and have their names featured on the day-to-day struggles that come from front page of The Charlotte Observer. Even once being part of a stigmatized minority, this practice became less common, patrons such as finding housing and a place to and employees of the other gay bars Brafford work. “So many people, their famihas owned — including Brass Rail, Central lies had thrown them out. They had Station and The Woodshed Lounge — reno place to go. No place to live. No mained targets of Charlotte law enforcement. friends,” Brafford said. “But going to Brafford himself has been arrested 10 the bars, they had a place, they had a times, most recently in 2010, on charges family. They were kind of taken care of often deployed against queer individuals by each other.” throughout U.S. American history, including Brafford began hosting a “allowing conduct that was against the law,” Thanksgiving for those members lewdness and, generally speaking, “whatever of the queer community who had they wanted to make up.” nowhere else to go 35 years ago, and Although Brafford was never convicted the tradition persists today. Thanks and the relationships between Charlotte law to increasing social acceptance of enforcement and gay-owned businesses queer identity, Brafford said, the have improved dramatically in recent years, Thanksgiving event is “not as necesthe consistency with which Brafford was pursary as it once was,” but remains a sued shows how hostile the city has historitestament to the role that gay-owned cally acted toward gay-owned businesses. businesses in Charlotte play in providThe hostility of the surrounding coming family, safety and affirmation to munity is, ironically, a testament to how members of the queer community. important Brafford’s bars have been to the Today, Brafford owns The gay community in Charlotte. Especially in Woodshed Lounge. He is hoping the 1970s-1980s, these bars “were everyGregg Brafford has been part of the Charlotte LGBTQ bar community since early in the 1980s and has to transition into retirement after thing for the gay community. Gathering seen the changes that the industry has experienced over the years — from being the only place a queer decades of hard work building his place, where you met your friends, socialperson could go to be one’s self to broader acceptance from society and wider boundaries outside the many businesses. Brafford mourns ize.” The bars had a large reach in the brick and mortar. the strong gay culture that developed small, conservative surrounding towns, out of the early gay bar scene, feeling providing a refuge for queer individuals for that the ability for queer folks to meet whom being open about their sexuality was ing that gay-owned businesses, already struggling from the over the Internet and the increasing erosion of boundaries an impossibility. The bars’ clientele was racially diverse financial blow of losing customers as well as ever-intensifying between straight and gay culture has ironically led to a less in a time of intense segregation and racial tension, and stigma stemming from the AIDS crisis, had to take it upon robust network among queer people themselves. lesbians and gay men shared social spaces and bonds of themselves to raise funds and offer support networks for the When he was asked what he would like a young queer friendship in a way that is less common now. Inside the ill. Brafford recounts that local drag queens were tremenperson unaware of Charlotte’s queer history to know, he bars, queer community members were able to forge famdously helpful in putting on free shows in order to raise said, “A lot of people sacrificed in the years before him ily as strong as the persecution they faced outside. funds, and women from the lesbian community helped “treso he could have the freedoms he has today.” In order to When Brafford was asked to describe the AIDS epidemic mendously” even though they themselves were not nearly as honor this sacrifice, Brafford suggests that the community as it occured in Charlotte, he said, “It’s by far the worst thing affected by the epidemic. In addition to raising funds for AIDS “Be publicly gay. If someone needs help, help them. If you that I’ve ever known in my existence.” Between O’leans and organizations, local gay activists fought the city to be able to see a kid, talk to them.” In other words, Brafford hopes that the Brass Rail, he lost about 500 customers and a dozen distribute pamphlets detailing safe sex practices. queer Charlotteans will continue to recreate the commuemployees to the disease. As was the case with the rest of The fact that the gay community rallied so effectively nity-building of those that came before them, in whatever the country, there were practically no avenues for support of during the epidemic is impressive, but not surprising. As shifting forms that building may take. : : AIDS sufferers outside of the gay community itself — meanBrafford recounts, the bars “were everything for the gay

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Bishop Tonyia M. Rawls Talking About Liberating LGB/T People Through Theology

BY Jack Kirven | QNotes Contributing Writer

There aren’t so many pastors lambasting LGB/T folks as abominations, and many congregations have recently become affirming and welcoming. However, everything is cyclical, so it is hard to dismiss any gain as a given.

To illustrate this point, Bishop Rawls observed that, “The reduction in these attacks comes back to white supremacy, and the role it plays in maintaining an enemy.

You have to have an ‘Other,’ in order for n Charlotte, Bishop Tonyia M. Rawls that power structure to remain. You need at created the Freedom Center for Social least one specific group to be at the bottom Justice (FCSJ) 10 years ago to be a for whi te supremacy to exist. Currently, the “culture-shifting organization committed focus has shifted some from LGB/T people to the growth, safety, and empowerment toward immigrants (‘I may be gay, but at of marginalized populations.” The FCSJ ocleast I got my papers!’). cupies a suite of sunny offices and meeting “Don’t be myopic about being gay. spaces that are brightly decorated in the Empire building and its maintenance suporganization’s bold orange. It’s a fitting port the system we have. Women being brand identity for a group of bold people paid less is another example. Or giving who take bold action. blacks a lower pay rate (‘You should be Near the very beginning of our conhappy you even have a job!’). Unscrupulous versation, Bishop Rawls came directly to employers can work immigrants like dogs the point. “We offer unapologetic counterfor pennies on the dollar to get what they narratives specifically about faith and how it need to help support that oppressive sysaffects LGB/T people. In the last few election tem. LGB folks marginalize the T, and this cycles, faith issues have specifically included internalized homophobia also supports the LGB/T issues that were game changing. We system. are looking to push back against those who Bishop Tonyia Rawls is still going strong after 10 years of fighting for social justice. She is poised “All of this is an effective political sysblock theological freedom concepts.” to keep pursing the quest toward ‘culture-shifing’ over the next 10 years of working on the tem that keeps people in their places. Look This is particularly important here in community’s behalf. through one lens, and you’ll see what all North Carolina, where HB2 was born as a marginalized people have in common. transphobic response to Charlotte’s initial Follow the money, follow the margin, and attempts toward inclusive reforms. At parpartnerships.” Some of these alliances include the NAACP you’ll find the maintenance of white supremacy and ticular issue was the question of which bathroom a Trans (Bishop Rawls fills the LGB/T position on the executive power. It has become obvious, especially when you look at person should use, and it sparked a global conversation board) and the North Carolina Council of Churches. The the reaction to the browning of America.” about gender, identity, privacy, and safety. Opponents latter of these will be helping FCSJ with a local event So then, with all these challenges, victories, distracoften used religious arguments to bolster their positions. aimed at considering church practices and how they aftions, and machinations interwoven like a rope around FCSJ is poised for impressive growth going forward. My fect people, politics and policies. our wrists, which theological concept is the most liberatvery first question (because I was so impressed with the But to answer my other question, “We are primaring? What’s the one scripture Bishop Rawls feels empowscale of what I was seeing) was “How do you pay for all ily Christian focused. This is intentional, because of ers marginalized people best? “That would be John 3:16. this??” Frankly, I wasn’t expecting this to be the impressive the source of the attacks we’ve faced. It’s due to LGB/T Think about it: ‘If I give you My child, there’s nothing else machine I was witnessing. I’d intended to lead with, “Is your equality being attacked by scripture. Our work is broad that can be greater.’ Jesus said, ‘Thou shalt love the Lord work specifically Christian, or is it a broader faith commu(we are interdenominational and interfaith), but we have thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with nity?” But honestly, that could wait. This was an exciting intentionally focused on the Bible. It’s especially imporall thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. surprise: A thriving LGB/T non-profit bursting out of its own tant now when Trans lives, abortion rights, the LGB/T And the second is like unto it: ‘Thou shalt love thy neighoffice? How was that happening? presence in congregations and the need to lift up these bor as thyself.’”

Bishop Rawls explained that, “We are vested heavcommunities from a position of faith has to be done “There are no stepchildren,” Bishop Rawls said. “I’ve ily in shifting cultures by finding the intersection of within a Christian context.” never seen freedom more beautifully presented than communities of faith, nonprofits, and activism. Think With that in mind, Bishop Rawls observed that many when it is presented by someone who never thought it about funding: Often, these are not organizations led strides have been made in terms of the visibility, reprewas possible.” by women or people of color. We are mostly funded sentation, and agency LGB/T people have achieved in the Visit fcsj.org for more infomation. : : with grants. Beyond that, we have amazing, unexpected last 10 years, especially within the context of theology.

(Note: Dear Reader, Bishop Rawls wants to begin acknowledging that Trans people have needs and concerns that go beyond sexual orientation, and that they are therefore part of and connected to the Queer community, but also deserving of additional resources and attention. I suggested “LGB/T” to her as a shorthand for this concept, and she embraced it enthusiastically.)

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Pride Retrospective continued from page 12

claim that he had stopped Pride” said Jim Yarbrough, publisher of qnotes.

“I told them that was not correct and that there would be a Pride event in 2006.”

Determined not to let Benham claim that victory, the next day, David Aaron Moore, the Q-Notes editor at the time and Pride Charlotte, Gateway Village, Uptown Charlotte, N.C. Yarbrough meet with Laura KaneWitkouski, exBrown, founder of Fire Church in Concord ecutive director of the LGBT Community N.C. Wearing red shirts, these people haCenter to get the ball rolling on 2006 rassed attendees, often being confronted Pride. After a couple of town hall meetby LGBTQ people when police refused to ings the center established a “Pride Task remove them.

Force” to plan and run the event.

After that Pride, the Rev. Philip (Flip) The name was changed to “Pride Benham, head of Operation Save America Charlotte “ and in order to avoid a repeat also in Concord, and a partner in disof the mass red shirt invasion, Pride crimination with Brown complained about events were moved to private property Charlotte Pride to the Charlotte City at Uptown’s Gateway Village for their first Council and anyone he could get to listen. event in August of 2006. Gateway Village He later claimed he was responsible for was the site of Pride Charlotte’s events shutting down Pride. until 2010 when it moved to the NC Music “A local TV station call me, one Sunday Factory. The less-than-hoped-for success morning when I was getting ready for of that year’s event led to the return of church, for a comment on Benham’s

Pride to Uptown Charlotte in 2011.

In 2012, Pride Charlotte made the decision to expand to two days. The event failed to turn a profit and that lead to Pride reorganizing separately from the Community Center and going back to the previous Charlotte Pride name. The 2013 Pride, for the first time since 1994, hosted a Pride Parade. The 2014 event, the largest, to that date, was also the first year any economic impact data was gathered on any regional Pride event. Charlotte Regional Visitors Authority found that the 2015 Charlotte Pride hosted 120,000 people and brought nearly 12 million dollars into the local economy. Since then, Charlotte Pride

has grown annually in attendance. The only question to some remains, why is Charlotte Pride held in August? That originally was due to scheduling with city, and the use of public property. Also, it avoids competition with other more established Pride events scheduled in June.

From humble beginnings in a field at UNCC, far from the center of power and commerce in a conservative southern city, to one of the largest LGBTQ events in the region; — and no matter who is behind the organization of the events, — Pride celebrations in Charlotte mean one crucial thing. We are here, we are powerful, and we will never be silent and unseen. : :

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a&e

10 Questions with Vic: Featuring Reina Mora Singer/Songwriter, Author, Advocate, Activist

BY Vic Gerami | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

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t’s hard to label the multi-talented Reina Mora or her genre of music, and that’s a good thing.

Her wide range of vocals, dense and textured music and three hit singles, made her one of music industry’s breakout artists of 2018. Since then, Reina has been busy putting the finishing touches on her new pop album, “Birds Eye View,” and working with Puerto Ricans in Action to help with Relief from Hurricane Maria.

Modesty aside, how would you describe yourself?

I am outspoken, strong minded and stubborn. When I set my mind to do something, I do it full speed ahead no looking back. Even if I fall or make mistakes I get back up and keep going. I don’t know how else to be. I’ve been determined my entire life especially when it came to making music.

educate people about our music, culture and history. I sing native songs from Puerto Rico and explain the history behind the songs. It’s also been enlightening for me, and I’ve even learned how to dance some Bomba. I’ll be working on an album with PRIA next year.

Tell me how helping Puerto Rico after the devastation of Hurricane Maria is close to your heart.

Well, my family and I had to start from ground zero after Hurricane George washed away all our belongings. We moved back to the United States. We were homeless and had to stay in shelters till we could get back on our feet. Not only that, but I had family affected on the island by Hurricane Maria. Luckily no one died, but a lot is still under construction, and times are very hard for them. I got to see that first hand when I went back to the island for my mother’s funeral. The place I called home was no longer the same and will need a lot of resources that people don’t have to fix the damage.

What genre, if any, would describe your music and how Reina Mora actively supports Puerto Rico with hurricane relief effort through performing, among other ways. did it feel to have your three (Photo Credit: Photo courtesy of Reina Mora) singles released in 2018 be received so well?

You also work with a suicide had so much to say through poetry, especially after my My music is Alternative Latinprevention charitable organization, You Matter-Not mother’s passing this year. I spent some time with her infused pop. I’ve tried to blend the past with the current.

Alone. Tell me about the organization and your work in the hospital the weeks leading up to her passing and I It felt great for the singles, but I’ve been writing so many with it. read her poetry books I brought. She asked me if I had any new songs that I’ve been in hibernation mode in the studio After my mother’s passing, I started going to therapy of mine, so I read some to her. She loved it so much and recording all this time, so I am ready to show new material. and taking care of my mental health. Which even where requested I publish them. It’s really all thanks to her that I The album was done, but since I’ve been so inspired to write, I am from is taboo and it is called a “White people thing.” will finally be releasing the book soon.

I’ve added more songs to it and may take out some old ones I had to be tough my entire life because I didn’t have any so tough decisions must be made soon. other choice. When I started to come face to face with You work with the non-profit charity organization, myself I realized that I’ve battled with important deaths Puerto Ricans in Action, to help with relief from You are about to release your first full album. What that lead me to deep depressions that lead me to isolatHurricane Maria. Tell me about the organization and is it titled? Can you share a bit about it? ing people around me. I didn’t want to do that this time your work with them?

It’s called “Birds Eye View” and the tittle is the best deso in seeking help I learned about the You Matter moveWell the minute Hurricane Irma hit, I reached out to scription of it. It’s a full view of me and my life experiences. ment and saw how easy it is to sink deep into depression Nicole, the head of PRIA, to see what I can do to help. I The good, the bad and the ugly sides [that] I hide. Which to the point of losing all hope for life. I’ve struggled with went to the first event and spoke about my experience with is why my music is my therapy, my getaway and sanctuary depression, but in discovering I wasn’t alone, I decided Hurricane George when I was in Puerto Rico and donated that I hope helps make other people feel less alone in this to help by learning how to prevent suicide and how to money. Then Hurricane Maria struck, and I planned a show crazy uncertain world we live in. talk, teach other people ways of prevention. I became at Bar Lubitsch where all the proceeds of the event would involved because I believe in mental health. It’s honestly go to helping send Your music at times insaved me from going off the deep end especially after my care packages corporates your Latin mother’s death. to Puerto Rico. I roots. Is that somehelped do as much thing organic to you or Aside from the release of your album, do you have as I possibly could is it an artistic choice? another project coming up? to the point where It’s both. I want I’ve written a song for one of the charities I support, now Nicole and I people to know that I “Screaming for the Sun,” and we will be shooting a music still work closely on am proud of where I am video for it soon. organizing more from, that even though I events together. am a fair-skinned Latina, Tell me a secre — a good one!

Right now we have I am Puerto Rican. A lot Mm, a good secret, well I got 11 tattoos. been focused on of people, especially in sending water filter LA, can’t guess where I For more information about Reina Mora, visit reinamosystems to families am from half the time ramusic.com. : : in need since so unless I start talking in many people died Spanish. I want people to Vic Gerami is a journalist, media contributor and the edinot having clean know that Puerto Rico is tor and publisher of The Blunt Post. He spent six years at water to drink on a beautiful melting pot of Frontiers Magazine, followed by LA Weekly and Voice Media the island. People people filled with culture Group. His syndicated celebrity “Q&A column, 10 Questions are still struggling, and pride that is inwith Vic,” is a LA Press Club’s National Arts & Entertainment and we are still grained in us since birth.

Journalism Award finalist. Gerami is a contributor for trying to find ways to help. We also do events here in LA QNotes, Montrose Star, DC Life Magazine, Out & About educating people about Puerto Rico because it’s not often Tell me about your book, “Deserted Cathedral.”

Nashville, Q Virginia, GNI MAG, Windy City Times, WeHo taught in classes that we are a U.S. territory. We use the It’s a book of poetry I’ve been writing for a while now, Times, GoWeHo, Los Angeles Blade, Asbarez, California same currency, you don’t need a passport to come, and, but was afraid to share. Some are old poems from my Courier, Desert Daily Guide, Armenian Weekly, GED, The yes, we are American citizens even though we can’t vote for youth, but most are recent; it’s like the faucet never stops Pride LA, IN Magazine and The Advocate Magazine. the U.S. president. The “Let’s Talk about Puerto Rico” events running, and the poems flowed out of me like water. I

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Remember to Nurture Your Spirit Spiritual Reflections

BY Rev. Mary Frances Comer | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

National LGBTQ Pride Month reminds everyone to celebrate and nurture their spirit.

Welcome to June and to National LGBTQ Pride Month!

If you are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning, intersex or gender fluid (in other words, if you don’t fit neatly into the tiny box of heteronormativity), where is your place in the life of the church? Or temple or mosque? Where can you worship? Where can you be all of who you are?

If you were telling the story, the full story of who you are, would that story include being rejected by your religion?

Your denomination? Your church, your temple, your mosque or your God? Our religious histories have quite an impact on who we are, and our spiritual journeys shape us. Therefore, one would hope that when you enter a religious institution of any sort that you’d be met with a radical welcome and an unconditional love — a love that is not based even a little bit on who you are or where you come from or what you look like or sound like.

One of my congregants wrote a beautiful song about the fact that we all need places of solitude where we are not judged. Some of you have that luxury while others are still working through the coming out process to yourself and/or to others with varying degrees of acceptance. In the postmodern world we live in, there are days when it seems the clock of progress has been reset to an earlier time. Since the current administration took office, hate crimes have been on the rise.

This is cause for concern. It is also a call to continued activism; thus, I’m grateful for friends, allies and religious institutions who stand up for what is right, and by “what is right,” I mean things like protecting basic human rights, cherishing diversity, cultivating justice, showing kindness and radiating love.

Remember to find ways to nurture your beautiful spirit in the midst of political and religious debate over your value.

Remember you are a person of worth and

dignity, and you have a right to pursue happiness and to find a spiritual path that resonates with you.

During this month of National LGBTQ Pride, look for celebrations in various locations. The Salisbury Pride Festival will be on June 22nd. The Charlotte Pride celebrations (including a parade) take place in August. My congregation and others will be involved in both of these celebrations.

We want you to know there are welcoming spaces and welcoming people in our city. If you had told me 20 years ago that I’d one day be the minister of a church that supported all of us on our journeys, it would have been difficult to believe. While some religious bodies still uphold a stance against same-sex relationships, remember there are many places where you are welcomed just as you are, and we don’t have an agenda to change you, “fix” you or put you through some barbaric conversion therapy.

For those of you who know the pain of being shunned or rejected by religion, or worse, being damned by it just for being who you are, know that you are not alone.

You have many allies. Perhaps you haven’t met us yet, but we are here, and we’d count it an honor to walk alongside you on your spiritual journey.

Albert Schweitzer said: “The path of awakening is not about becoming who you are. Rather it is about unbecoming who you are not.” Some of you have spent a great deal of time in life trying to be something or someone you aren’t.

What an exhausting endeavor! So, during this National LGBTQ Pride Month, take a deep breath. Breathe in peace.

Remember to nurture your spirit. Know you are loved, and may you be proud of exactly who you are. : : Rev. Mary Frances Comer is lead minister at Piedmont Unitarian Universalist Church, with locations in Charlotte and Salisbury, N.C. For more information, visit puuc.org.

May 31-June 13, 2019

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life

Our People: Tina Wright and Nikki Lynn Thomas King-Henry-Brockington Archivists

BY Camilla K. Cannon |qnotes staff WRITER

T

ina Wright and Nikki Lynn Thomas are both archivists at J. Murray Atkins Library at University of North Carolina at Charlotte (UNCC) involved with the King-HenryBrockington Archive, a collection of materials relating to LGBTQ history in Charlotte. Wright is originally from the United Kingdom, and moved to the Queen City in 1988. In 2017, she earned her Master’s in History from UNCC, fulfilling a long-term goal that was interrupted by life, travelling and family. Her thesis, “‘How Could Love Be Wrong?’: Gay Activism And AIDS In Charlotte, 1970-1992,” was inspired by the material being entered into the King-HenryBrockington Archive. She is now an oral history interviewer at UNCC. Thomas ia an archivist who has dedicated her career to documenting the history of LGBTQ populations. She is currently the outgoing chair of the Diverse Sexuality and Gender Section of the Society of American Archivists.

Tina Wright Nikki Lynn Thomas Could you give a brief overview of the initiation and history of the King-HenryPerhaps the most important addition to the archive Brockington Archive, as well as an introducin terms of documenting these and other challenges and tion to the archive’s namesakes? struggles of Charlotte’s LGBTQ community is the donation Thomas: The King-Henry-Brockington LGBTQ+ Archive of of the whole run of qnotes by publisher Jim Yarbrough.

Charlotte was founded in 2013 as a collaboration between As a result of this donation qnotes can now be accessed UNC Charlotte Atkins Library Special Collections and the online through DigitalNC all the way back to its origins as a university’s Multicultural Resource Center. More specifinewsletter in 1983. cally, Joshua Burford, the assistant director for Sexual and Gender Diversity.

What is the most encouraging or simply delightful Donaldson King arrived in Charlotte in the 1970s and story you have come across in the archives? was a long-time employee of The Charlotte Observer. He Wright: The most delightful story I have come across in quickly became one of the region’s earliest and most the archive is lesbian activist Diana Travis’ description of outspoken activists for the civil rights of gays and lesbians her mother’s fierce support for her in reaction to a series in the Queen City. of homophobic articles in the Charlotte News in 1974. The Sue Henry, owner of Rising Moon Bookstore, was one articles were written by editor Darrell Sifford, a colleague of Charlotte’s most recognizable LGBT representatives of Diana’s father and well known to the Travis family. They of the 1990s and was the first openly gay candidate for infuriated Mrs. Travis to the point where she challenged mayor of Charlotte in 1995.

Sifford to interview Diana and straighten the record. Diana Blake Brockington was a Charlotte-area teen activist was living as an out lesbian in Boston, but was still not heavily involved in the fight for LGBTQ rights, the moveout publicly in her home city. So in this way Mrs. Travis ment for black lives, environmental activism and the essentially outed her daughter to the whole of Charlotte in overlaps between. one fell swoop.

Roughly what time period do the materials in the Like all U.S. American cities, Charlotte’s history has archive cover? Are you still actively looking to add been shaped by ongoing racial segregation, injustice materials to the archive? and a continuous struggle for civil rights. What light Thomas: The collection materials are primarily from the does the material in the archives shed on the history 1970s-present, and we are always adding materials to the of race in Charlotte? Are there any historical figures archives. of color in particular that Charlotteans should know about?

What are some of the more distressing trends in Thomas: Unfortunately the collections do not contain Charlotte queer history that are documented in much documentation of QTPOC (queer & trans people of the archives? Is there a particular period of time in color). It is an issue that we have been struggling with for the portion of the city’s history covered by the armany years. chives that seemed to be the most difficult for queer As far as QTPOC that folks need to know about — Blake Charlotteans?

Brockington. The story of Blake being the first openly trans Wright: There are numerous, and they are cyclical. One homecoming king in N.C. (2014) was widely publicized by example is the vindictive efforts by police to eradicate gay the press, but what folks aren’t aware of is the rest of the cruising in Charlotte parks during the 1980s, and 1990s.

Blake’s story and the phenomenal impact he made on Don King’s papers meticulously document what amounted the community in his 18 years. Memorials are still held in to entrapment as plain clothed police officers cruised the his honor, and a shrine to his memory is placed at many parks to catch the unsuspecting. The Gay and Lesbian events and actions in the Charlotte area.

Switchboard helped to collect stories documenting cases of entrapment along with other forms of discrimination expeAs is the case with many queer archives, the bulk of rienced by LGBT Charlotteans, but little headway was made. the materials in King-Henry-Brockington archives Charlotte did not escape the ravages of the AIDS episeems to deal with lesbian, gay, and bisexual issues demic as it swept the country, and the tragedy of the disand transgender voices and issues, while present, are ease and stigma that accompanied it is palpable throughless prominent. What are the historical factors that out many collections in the archive, from the records of led to the under-representation of trans perspectives Charlotte’s RAIN (originally called Regional AIDS Interfaith in the archives, and what are your hopes for including Network) and the oral history of RAIN’s founding director more trans voices in the future?

Debbie Warren, to the papers of Dr. Bob Barret, which Thomas: The “2011 Report of the National Transgender include examples of startling no-holds-barred hate mail.

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Discrimination Survey” states that “the combination of anti-transgender bias and persistent, structural racism was especially devastating... with African-American transgender respondents faring worse than all others in many areas examined.” Over 40 percent of transgender and gender non-conforming individuals will attempt suicide at some point compared to under 5 percent of the general population. The suicide risk is even higher for trans people of color. And that’s just self-inflicted harm. Trans people of color aren’t worrying about whether their life is documented in an archive, they’re worrying about how to live. Who has time to worry about representational belonging when you’re trying to survive?

Much of the archive is comprised of newspaper articles, organizational records and promotional materials from queer activist organizations in Charlotte. However, the archive also includes the personal correspondence of prominent Charlotte queer activists. What insight do the materials in the archives give us into the internal lives of queer Charlotteans through time?

Wright: There is a wealth of material in the archive that instructs us about the internal lives of queer Charlotteans over time, though of course it is limited to those individuals whose papers have been deposited. The personal and professional correspondence of Don King runs to several boxes of tightly packed carbon copies. To read these letters is to feel as though you have known King all your life.

Where manuscript collections leave gaps in the personal journey, oral histories can fill in. Rev. Sonja Lee describes the trials and significance of living in Germany as a young woman seeking to understand her identity. Sandra Bailey’s reflections bring to life her extraordinary parents, Nila and Stokley Bailey, loved to bits as the “mom and pop” of gay and lesbian Charlotteans as far back as the 1960s, and founding leaders of Charlotte’s PFLAG chapter. Lynnsy Logue paints a picture of how it felt to be isolated as a lesbian growing up in Charlotte in the 1950s and 1960s, and contrasts that with the vibrancy of a community coming together for social change in the 1990s.

How has your work on the archive enriched your own life? Has your relationship with Charlotte changed as a result of what you’ve learned?

Wright: I can honestly say that my work with the King Henry Brockington LGBTQ+ Archive has enriched my life immensely and that I am a better person for it. As the oral history interviewer in Special Collections and University Archives (SCUA) I have had the privilege of being a liaison to the Charlotte Queer Oral History Project community group. Through that role I have been able to participate in recording the narratives of numerous Charlotte LGBTQ leaders and community members, and supporting others in their interviewing practice. This experience has given me a deeper, more nuanced and engaged perspective on Charlotte and Charlotte’s history, and it has allowed me to get to know some exceptional people.

What should queer people and allies in Charlotte know about the city’s queer history that they may not know already?

Wright/Thomas: That there are LGBTQ+ archives at UNC Charlotte.

If I could wave a magic wand and give you an unlimited amount of any one resource in order to improve the King-Henry-Brockington Archives, what resource would that be and how would you use it?

Wright/Thomas: People. People to spread the word about the collections. People to conduct oral history interviews.

People to make the collections accessible to the public. : :

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space starting at $22: call qnotes for details 704.531.9988

May 31-June 13, 2019

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life

How I overcame the vicious cycle of worry Mental Health

BY Stanley Popovich | Guest Contriburor

Do you ever get stuck into that vicious cycle of worrying where you get overwhelmed with worrying and fearful thoughts? In return, this creates more panic and worry and eventually you can’t function because you are a basket case.

As the author of a managing fear book, I struggled with fear, anxiety and stress for over 20 years. Eventually, I was able to overcome the endless cycle of fear and anxiety. Here is a brief summary of what I did to get better.

1. I got advice from the professionals: The first thing I did was to talk to various counselors since they knew how to deal with fear and anxiety. Whenever I talked to the counselors, I would always bring a notebook and take notes so I would not forget the advice that was given to me. I then used their advice to overcome my anxiety issues.

2. I became an expert on dealing with fear and anxiety: I did everything possible to learn as much as I could in how to deal with my fears and anxiety.

As a layman, I talked to professionals, read books, joined support groups and learned from my experiences. I never stopped learning on how to handle my anxieties.

3. I surrounded myself with helpful people: I made it a habit of surrounding myself with supportive people who understood what I was going through.

During some of my anxious times, one of my good friends gave me a hard time and was not very supportive. I tried to explain my situation to him, but he would not listen. One day, I got mad and told him to leave me alone if he was going to continue getting on my case. He later apologized and was more understanding.

4. I learned how to manage my fearful thoughts: The key in overcoming the cycle of worry and fear is overcoming your fearful thoughts. Whenever I would get a negative and fearful thought, I would challenge that thought with positive statements and realistic thinking. I also made it a habit to focus on the facts of my current situation and not on my negative thoughts.

5. I was persistent: There were many times I felt like giving up because my fears and anxieties were so powerful, and I didn’t know what to do. I worried about what would happen and that just made my fears that much stronger.

During those times, I would consult with a professional, and I made it a point to learn from my experiences so that I would be better able to handle these situations in the future.

6. I did not make excuses: With a lot of practice, I became very good at dealing with my fears and anxieties. I realized that the answers to my problems were out there, however it was up to me to find those techniques that would get rid of my fears and anxieties. I realized that making excuses for not getting help wasn’t going to make things any better.

7. I made the choice to get better: If you struggle with fear and anxiety there is hope, however, you need to make the effort in getting better. The answers will not come to you. You have to make the effort to find the answers to overcome your situation. It will not always be easy, but you can overcome the cycle of fear and worry with hard work and a willingness to learn from your every day experiences. : : Stanley Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology, Christianity and Non Resistant Methods.” For more information, visit managingfear.com.

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When Some Is Screwing Someone Behind Someone’s Back Tell Trinity

BY Trinity | CONTRIBUTING WRITER To Trinity, My boyfriend moved into a house with four other gay men. Now, he hardly wants to be with me anymore. He also won’t talk about it. Help!

Disappearing Boyfriend, Coral Springs, FL To Disappeared, Think gay algebra! When one man loves one man that equals one relationship. But when one man moves in with four other men and wants to stop seeing you, that equals someone-screwing-someone-behindsomeone-else’s-back. The possible solutions are a) let him know he can be an animal and still be your boyfriend, b) let him know he cannot be your boyfriend if he doesn’t show more interest, or c) accept that he’s found a new boy toy and move on! But, sweetie, the equation is unsolvable unless you stay busy, go out with friends, start dating if it’s over and accept the challenges of life!

This too shall pass, Trinity Dear Trinity, Men are dogs! They only want to eat and hump! They can’t keep a steady relationship nor do they want to. Is there some training course to take?

Yours, Dog Tired, Kansas City, MO

Dear Tired, Men! Now that’s an animal in need of training, even more so than a dog.

Remember, practice makes perfect, so, honey, keep training, keep trying and keep doggy treats in your pockets. (And, take a hint from my cartoon on how to tame that pup!)

Hey Trin., When is it the right time to give flowers on a date?

Yours truly, Wondering, Seattle, WA

Hey Wondering, A European lover once said, “It’s always the right time to give flowers!” And if anyone knows, it’s those damn Europeans.

However, I think receiving flowers on the first date is too much too soon or too serious too fast and appears like a “red flag” toward obsessive-compulsive, codependent or stalker behavior! That’s why, darling, I personally feel that everyone would be more comfortable receiving or giving flowers on the third or forth date or anytime after that. The exceptions to this rule include prom dates, prearranged dates or funerals.

Dearest Trinity, When my last lover broke up with me, I was devastated. Now, I have to do the same to someone I am dating. I really want to break the news at the right moment. But when is the right moment, or better yet, when is it the wrong moment?

Thanks, Stuck In A Hole, Santa Monica, CA Dearest Stuck, Similarly, the first big question Moses asked God was, “How do I get rid of this Pharaoh guy?” And after hearing God’s answer, Moses escaped — but with a lot of trouble. But, pumpkin, it would’ve been much easier if he read:

Trinity’s Trusty Tales For (TWM) “The Wrong Moment” To Breakup

1. Y ou both just started your Middle East vacation. All hotel bookings, travelers’

checks and train reservations are in her name. She speaks eight languages and you... none.

2. You’re talking to him via cell phone, just after his car crashes, and he’s surrounded by paramedics.

3. You just finished signing the papers for your new house, your new life insurance policy and your new adopted baby.

4. Just after the doctor tells him, “I’m sorry, but you have an incurable disease!”

5. You’re in a plane, the flight attendant announces, “Both captains are dead!”

And your partner is the only pilot on board.

6. While you’re both at The Pistol & Rifle Shop, he’s testing the new “Quick Kill Undetectable Handgun,” and there is a power outage.

7. While opening her acceptance letter she says, “It’s the happiest day of my life!

8. You’re in the middle, literally, of the most incredible sexual experience of his and your relationship!

9. While you’re on a month long business trip, she is watching over your very sick mother, financial assets and your three cats, and she calls you to say “Hi”!

10. W hen she hands you the winning, $80 million lottery ticket and says, “Honey, look what we’ve won!

With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com.

Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

May 31-June 13, 2019

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events June 2 InsideOut Banquet and Gaeity

Duke Park Picnic Shelter 106 W. Knox St., Durham 1-3 p.m.

InsideOut presents their 13th Annual Banquet and Gaiety, a celebration and awards ceremony for queer youth advocates in the Triangle. Local singer-songwriter Atom Edwards will be the featured musical entertainment. A free brunch will be provided. Tickets are not required, but suggested donations range from $3-$180. bit.ly/2WH60Qc.

June 2 Drag Brunch to Support LGBTQ Youth

Letty’s on Shamrock 2121 Shamrock Dr., Charlotte 11 a.m.

Time Out Youth Center presents a drag brunch in the Queen City featuring Kerri Nichols, Kristen Collins, Valerie Rockwell, Aurora Carlisle and Angela Lopez. All proceeds benefit center’s mission of supporting and affirming LGBTQ youth in Charlotte. A cash bar will be available and reservations are available online for $25. bit.ly/2HLtBJk.

June 3 Pride Night with the Greensboro Grasshoppers

First National Bank Field 408 Bellemeade St., Greensboro 7 p.m.

The Greensboro Grasshoppers

host a Pride Night game, featuring a national anthem performance from the Triad Pride Men’s and Women’s Choruses and a pregame parade for members of Greensboro Pride. Proceeds from Pride Night will benefit multiple local LGBTQ organizations. Tickets are $8 and are available online. bit.ly/2PPJa6I.

June 4 ‘The Miseducation of Cameron Post’ Film Screening

June 7 AfroPop! Charlotte @ Camp North End

June 5 One Beer Later: Conversations About Housing Policy and Community

June 7-9 Taste of Charlotte 2019

June 6-29 ‘Fun Home’

Queen’s University Hadley Theatre

Submit your events: editor@goqnotes.com

2132 Radcliffe Ave., Charlotte Times Vary Join the Actor’s Theatre of Charlotte for their presentation of the award-winning musical “Fun Home.” Based on the autobiography of lesbian artist Alison Bechdel (a former qnotes cartoon contributor), “Fun Home” explores themes of queerness, family and community. Tickets start at $8.75 and are available online. bit.ly/2IY0Rzd.

St. Peter’s Episcopal Church 115 W. 7th St., Charlotte 6-8:30 p.m.

The St. Peter’s Episcopal Church Social Justice Team presents a screening of “The Miseducation of Cameron Post,” a film depicting the story of a teenage girl forced to attend a gay conversion camp.

A discussion of the film with a panel of special guests will occur after the screening. Tickets are free but attendees are asked to register online. bit.ly/2Jp6esk.

Common Market Oakwold 4420 Monroe Rd., Charlotte 6-7:30 p.m.

Join Ryan Carter, advocacy and outreach coordinator for Habitat Charlotte for One Beer Later, a new monthly event where you can learn about current and upcoming housing policy items of interest while having a beer and leave feeling informed and empowered to make a difference in one’s neighborhood! bit.ly/2YQAxM6.

Camp North End 1824 Statesville Ave., Charlotte 6-11 p.m.

AfroPop Nation presents their original block party experience featuring food, vendors and a variety of music including Afrobeats, Soca, DanceHall and more.

General admission tickets are free with online RSVP and deluxe tickets range from $15-$35. bit.ly/2Hd3hJg.

Various Locations Times Vary Taste of Charlotte is an annual three-day festival featuring samples from over 100 local restaurants, music and entertainment, children’s activities and more. Admission is free, but attendees are encouraged to purchase festival coins that may be redeemed for food, beverages and kid’s activities. tasteofcharlotte.com.

June 8 New Era Music Fest

Pour Taproom Charlotte 1212 Central Ave., Charlotte 12-3 p.m.

New Era Music Fest is Charlotte’s largest indie music festival, featuring 50 performing artists across three stages located at Pour Taproom and Pint Central. The festival also features visual artists and local vendors. Tickets are available for purchase online. bit.ly/2HlRs3s.

June 10 Ariana Grande: Sweetener World Tour

Spectrum Center 333 E. Trade St., Charlotte 8 p.m.

Superstar Ariana Grande brings her Sweetener World Tour to Charlotte. Tickets start at $159 and are available for purchase online. bit.ly/2UVAJfU.

June 7: Purple Note 4: Celebrating Life of Prince Through Jazz

Join The X Men, Shelby J & Friends and DJ That Guy Smitty for a jazz celebration of the life of Prince. Tickets range from $25-$35 and are available online. The Neighborhood Theatre, 511 E. 36th St., Charlotte. bit.ly/2VXQnac. 8:30 p.m.

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June 2019

June 13 Time Out Youth Melanin and Magiq

Time Out Youth Center 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte 7- 8:30 p.m.

Time Out Youth hosts Melanin and Magiq, an identity-based group for

June 5: Charlotte Knights LGBT Mingle

Bring your family and friends to this LGBTQ takeover of the Charlotte Knights baseball game. Tickets provide admission to the Miller Lite Rooftop Party Zone, where there will be a two-hour hors d’oeuvre buffet and beer and wine available for purchase. BB&T Ballpark, 324 S. Mint St., Charlotte. 6-9 p.m. bit.ly/2Hs5Eqv. Photo Credit: James Willmore via Wikipedia. CC BY-SA 2.0 license.

LGBTQ youth of color that focuses on how race intersects with sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression. This group is open for youth of color. bit.ly/2w3RxCi.

June 13 North Star LGBTQ Community Center In Good Company Gala

Embassy Suites by Hilton 460 N. Cherry St., Winston-Salem 5:30-9 p.m.

Celebrate LGBTQ-affirming organizations in the Triad Region with a dinner and program of speakers hosted by the North Star LGBTQ Community Center. All proceeds benefit North Star’s mission of creating a safe and enriching environment for LGBTQ individuals in Winston-Salem and the surrounding area. Tickets start at $75 and are available online. bit.ly/2PMJfYC.

June 13-16 Juneteenth Festival of the Carolinas

1215 Thomas Ave., Charlotte Times Vary Juneteenth is a holiday commemorating June 19, 1865, the day that word of the abolition of slavery reached enslaved AfricanAmericans in Texas. Charlotte’s Juneteenth Festival of the Carolinas draws over 5,500 notable dignitaries, elected officials and influential young professional to the Queen City. This family-friendly event features music, educational exhibits, and local vendors. juneteenthofthecarolinas.com.

June 14 HeroesCon Charlotte

Charlotte Convention Center 501 S. College St., Charlotte 10:30 a.m.-6 p.m.

The 37th Annual Charlotte HerosCon features a diverse range of guests this year, including

leading comic book creators, film television actors, writers, directors and various vendors. Anyone under the age of 18 is granted free admission to the convention.

Tickets start at $25 and are available online. heroesonline.com

June 15 Mr. Gay Southeast America Pageantry Contest

Dillworth Neighborhood Grille 911 E. Morehead St., Charlotte 7 p.m.-12 a.m.

Join Charlotte queen Buff Faye and reigning Mr. Gay America Judas Elliot for the fabulous Mr. Gay Southeast America Pageant. The event will feature dinner, a drag show and drinks. Tickets start at $12 and are available online. bit.ly/2voGljp.

June 15-16 Stonewall 50th Anniversary Rally + Celebration

Romare Bearden Park 300 S. Church St., Charlotte 2 p.m.-2 a.m.

Charlotte Pride presents a community-wide rally and commemoration of the Stonewall Riots in Romare Bearden park. The rally will be followed by a retro dance party at Bar Argon. Charlotte Pride has created an open call for speakers and presenters which can be accessed online. bit.ly/2WR2zXq.

June 28 Ali Wong: The Milk & Money Tour

Ovens Auditorium 2700 E. Independence Blvd., Charlotte 7 p.m.

Comic Ali Wong brings her raunchy and insightful comedy to Charlotte. Tickets start at $39.50 and are available online. bit.ly/2YxlW8q.

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To Give is Divine Dishing with Buff Faye

BY Buff Faye | CONTRIBUTING WRITER | info@bufffaye.com

Buff Faye raising awareness and funds. (Photo Credit: Courtesy of Tommy Feldman) Thank you, I love you. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my black little heart.

To give is Divine — seriously. Whether you have a black heart, red heart or pink heart, the legendary “Drag Queen of the Century” Divine knew it best. Charity has always been part of being a drag queen.

Today among the RuPaul DragCons, YouTube makeup artists, Live Facebook Jewelry Auctions and all the drag queen social media influencers, it is easy sometimes to forget the history of drag. Drag queens have always been about giving back and making a real difference. It’s not just about glam or putting on makeup.

I started giving back to charities with the first drag show I ever did back in 2008 at the Charlotte Eagle. I learned quickly that giving back was a powerful way to show the positive influence of drag queens on their local community. I have come a long way since then, but fundraising for charities has always been something I try

to do regularly. Here are some of my lessons learned so you can also raise money for your favorite charities.

1. Putting the “FUN” in Fundraising.

You’ve got to give them fun! People like to have fun and raise money, so drag shows are perfect. Choose a fun idea and run with it. Don’t be a copycat.

Always try to do something different and unexpected with your fundraising.

2. Think about your AUDIENCE. If you are raising money for a children’s youth charity, think about the audience who might give and how to do an event that maximizes their giving. The audience for your drag show and who you are trying to attract are an important part of planning your fundraiser. Don’t just rely on the gays. Diversify and target your audience based on your charity.

3. It’s all about the Location and Time.

Having a fundraiser at midnight at a local gay club is not always the best option, especially if it is on a weekday.

Now, that’s not a read, but you have to think about where and when people show up. You can raise more money if you consider the location and time of the event.

4. Donating your Services. Always consider whether you will be donating your time or if you are paying yourself at the charity event. If you are getting paid to perform, then you should not ask others to work for free in the show. If you are not donating your tips, then you should not ask others to donate tips. Be transparent with expectations in regards to what you are donating and how the budgeting will work for paying performers (including yourself) on the front end.

If there is a show budget, is that being donated to the charity?

5. Part of Proceeds or 100 percent benefiting Charity. On your promotions, you should be clear how the charity is getting contributions. For instance, you can say “Part of every ticket sale will go to the charity.” You can even say the exact dollar. Or you can say, “All door proceeds benefit the charity name.” Don’t leave it to be a mystery. You also should mention how money is being raised at the event itself, too. And if people ask, be prepared to explain it further.

6. Does the Charity know? When you raise money for a charity and they don’t know you are doing so, that’s when the shade meter comes out. You should always inform the charity that you are having an event and using their name to raise money for them. Then they can ask questions, and you can share how you are raising the money — from the door, from doing a song, etc. Some charities may not want you doing so.

It is wrong to raise money at a public event if you have not at least had a conversation with the charity.

7. Paper trails are necessary.

Documentation of your fundraising is always important. If you raise $369, then tell the audience that night or post on Facebook the amount and what you raised, so there is a public record. Then get a cashier check or write a check with the amount to the charity. Take a photo or print a copy to keep in your records.

Likely the charity will send you a “thank you” note, so be sure to keep that in your records too. There are a lot of shady ladies out there, so keep your fundraising legit, and be as open about it as possible.

Your work can also inspire others.

8. Reach out to your diverse community.

I believe drag can change the world, and it already has. The best way to share drag is through fundraising for charities. Diversify who you raise money for. There is nothing wrong with doing several charities and sending a message of inclusion beyond specific LGBTQ nonprofits, too.

Well they say “it is always better to give than receive.” I guess that is true for fundraising, at least. Hopefully, these tips can help you get started fundraising as a drag queen or continue with your drag queen charity work. Feel free to share in the comments other advice for fundraising. I truly believe that giving back to our community is not just good for drag queens, but it is our duty as drag queens.

DRAG TIP: Have a lot of dollar bills ready at your drag charity events, and be sure to see if you can get volunteers to help go around and break bills for your audience.

Buff Faye calls the Queen City her home and wants to own a pet goat named “Elsa” one day (plus she loves to raise money for charities). Find her at your favorite bars and hot spots. And don’t forget her monthly Sunday drag brunch. Learn more at AllBuff.com.

Follow on Twitter @BuffFaye.

SHOUT OUTS:

Check out Buff Faye’s Queen City Real Housewives Drag Brunch and Buff Faye’s Toy Story Drag Diner coming up. Go to AllBuff.com to get your tickets now.

May 31-June 13, 2019

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May 31-June 13, 2019