QNotes, June 3-16, 2016 by QnotesCarolinas

June 3-16 . 2016

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June 3-16 . 2016

inside

LGBT seniors resources

qnotes news & features

11 News Notes: Regional arts. entertainment. news. views. Briefs 13 News Notes: U.S./World Briefs 18 Carolinas’ Pride 2016

a&e / life&style 14 Seniors’ organizations 15 LGBT senior’s resources 16 Aging services 17 Cohousing 22 Tell Trinity 23 Dishing with Buff Faye 26 Q Events Calendar 27 Our People: Ed DePasquale

opinions & views 4 An hour with EEOC commissioner Part 2 4 Guest Commentary 5 Spiritual Reflections

Services and places for LGBT seniors are featured in our Gay & Gray issue. Get information on organizations, social groups and more that can make the twilight years more enjoyable. page 14-15

Our People

more news & features

Senior Ed DePasquale shares how life has been for him over the years and what it was like when he was coming out and more. page 27

Secrets to winning the pageant crown Buff Faye dishes on what it takes to impress judges and walk away the Queen Bee! page 23

June 3-16 . 2016

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BIZ Beat

An hour with EEOC Commissioner Charlotte A. Burrows Part 2 of 2: LGBT Concerns by Stan Kimer :: guest contributor

place, I will expand on how In qnotes’ previous issue, this plays out here. I shared that I was invited to The most important attend a “Meet and Greet” basic point raised by with one of the nation’s five Burrows was that even Employment Equal Opportunity though sexual orientation Commission (EEOC) commisand gender identity are sioners, Charlotte A. Burrows, not explicitly delineated as in the EEOC’s downtown “protected classes” in Title Raleigh, N.C., office. I VII (The Civil Rights Act of received the invite since I 1964), the EEOC is very open am an officer of the Raleigh to pursuing complaints in Business and Professional these areas. At the federal Network, Raleigh’s National level, there have been an Gay & Lesbian Chamber of increasing number of court Commerce’s affiliate chapter. cases where the ruling is In Part 1 I summarized The successful case of transgenthat employment discrimihow the meeting was der woman Tamara Lusardi vs. the nation based on sexual oristructured and six high priorU.S. Army was discussed by EEOC entation and gender identity ity areas that the EEOC was Commissioner Charlotte A. Burrows. is assumed within the “sex” working on which was shared Photo Credit: Transgender Law Center area of Title VII. by Burrows. Since I am a diBurrows then menversity consultant capable of tioned two specific cases in the sexual orientahandling all areas of diversity, but with a deep tion and gender identity realms: expertise in the LGBT workplace and market-

1. In the 7th District Court Case Warnether A. Muhammad vs. Caterpillar Inc. (bit. ly/23LC95h), the court initially took the position that discrimination based on sexual orientation could not be used by the plaintiff suing using Title VII. But on appeal from the EEOC, though Muhammed lost his case on other grounds, the panel did reverse its position about the invalidity of using sexual orientation discrimination in cases like these. 2. In the case of Tamara Lusardi (a transgender woman) vs. the US Army, (bit.ly/1s3fuFm) the EEOC ruled that prohibiting Tamara from using the restroom identified with her gender constituted gender discrimination under the law. Burrows strongly made the point that the EEOC is truly “open for business” to pursue discrimination complaints based on sexual orientation and gender identity, and that over the past few years, over $3M in fines and settlements in these areas have been recorded. She further shared the statistic that in the LGBT area, about 80 percent of the cases coming to them are around sexual orientation and about

20 percent around gender identity. During Q&A when I inquired about the dichotomy between the EEOC pursuing these cases in the light of no national ENDA (Employment Non-Discrimination Act) that includes protections based on sexual orientation or gender identity, she replied that a congressional passed ENDA law would certainly make this discussion much more “cut and dry” and send a very strong national message. However, even with the current absence of an ENDA, the EEOC will certainly still pursue LGBT discrimination cases. As stated in part 1, I am very grateful for the EEOC in fighting employment discrimination for all people. And even in my own research, I later found this very useful resource from the EEOC to assist people in addressing discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity. It is available at 1.usa.gov/1Omlsf1. : : — Stan Kimer, Total Engagement Consulting by Kimer, is a Raleigh, N.C.-based business consultant who provides corporate and organizational training on a wide range of diversity topics including transgender diversity.

guest commentary by Julianna Rennie :: student contributor

HB2 and North Carolina’s disgraceful slumber In 1819, American author Washington Irving published a short story about a man named Rip Van Winkle, who fell asleep under a tree and woke up 20 years later with a long beard in a completely different world. After its release, the story became wildly famous and has since been regarded as an acclaimed part of the United States’ literary history. However, I was not introduced to the story in relation to its author or merits as a fictional work reflective of 19th century American culture. Instead, in a middle school history class, I learned that North Carolina was nicknamed the “Rip Van Winkle State” due to its economic stagnation throughout the early 1800s. The recent passage of House Bill 2 (HB2) in North Carolina reminded me of this story and our state’s shameful, yet deserved, nickname. As is often the case, history has repeated itself, and North Carolina is once again among the least progressive states in our country. Only this time, the problem stems from ignorance and an utter lack of tolerance for people who do not conform to social norms. HB2 was voted on and signed into action in an emergency session of the North Carolina General Assembly on March 23. While it has become known as the Charlotte “bathroom bill” because it nullified a Charlotte nondiscrimination ordinance that permitted people to use the bathroom of the gender with which they identify, the legislation affects many other issues, including workplace discrimination and the minimum wage. The legislation has been met by harsh criticism nationwide and has already damaged the state’s economy. Prominent companies

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with employees in North Carolina — including American Airlines, Apple, Microsoft, Facebook, and Google — have spoken out against the legislation, and events, from concerts to sports tournaments, scheduled to be held in the state have been canceled or relocated in protest of the law. It is not only the economic repercussions that make this legislation so cringe-worthy. North Carolina has become a laughing stock, a national joke, because it really is unbelievable that so many educated, publicly endorsed officials could reverse strides toward equality in their state. It has been deemed comical that people in our state stand in front of government buildings with signs advocating the protection of women and children through the oppression of people who have discovered their gender to be different from the one printed on their birth certificates. But what does that mean to me? To Charlotteans who supported the non-discrimination ordinance in our city? To North Carolinians who face discrimination at their schools and jobs and are no longer protected by the law? We are not laughing. HB2 is not only humiliating, but also utterly terrifying. As the rest of the world moves forward, North Carolina remains resting against its tree of antiquated social policies. And as it does so, the state’s residents continue to suffer. In April, a group of pediatric endocrinologists from across the state reported that HB2 is “inherently flawed and potentially harmful” to the children for whom they care. As many of their patients suffer from chromosomal or

More than once on this trip, I wondered what hormonal abnormalities, it is often difficult for the people driving behind me or the strangers them to assign a gender to a child at birth. walking by my parked car thought when they As the kids grow, they often identify with the saw my North Carolina license plate. I wanted opposite gender and face social prejudice to say, “HB2 is a complete anomaly, a radical and complex legal procedures as they make decision made by a few ignorant people. Most the switch. Their doctors report that HB2 and people where I come from aren’t like that.” similar legislations worsen the psychological But that is not the truth. The truth is that I see difficulties that patients face. the discriminatory behavior that prompted this Unfortunately, my representatives confront decision all around me. their own ignorance I have grown up or confusion about hearing kids use the word gender identity with “gay” as an insult. fear and hatred, which I have seen some of has manifested in my peers form preconinjustice. Being LGBT ceived notions about a is a component of a person’s character or person’s identity that should be celebrated, How can North Carolinians call themselves economic status based on that individual’s race. not rejected or dis“First in Freedom” (as our new license I have also heard from missed. Just as I would plates so proudly assert) while LGBT and feel awkward going minority populations in our state suffer this people who have had this injustice done to them. into a men’s restroom, oppression? — Julianna Rennie One of my fellow students I can understand how even shared that discrimination persists in any other person would feel uncomfortable North Carolina to the detriment of our society being required to use a bathroom designated as a whole. for the opposite gender. To me, this seems like When North Carolina wakes up from its discommon sense. graceful slumber, it will have to overcome both There is no need to declare a state of emerthe economic damage and its reputation as a gency because people in Charlotte were finally discriminatory state. It is then up to the people granted freedom of expression. of North Carolina to strive to be open-minded, How can North Carolinians call themselves compassionate, and inclusive to earn recogni“First in Freedom” (as our new license plates tion as champions of freedom. : : so proudly assert) while LGBT and minority — Julianna Rennie is co-editor-in-chief of populations in our state suffer this oppression? The Myers Park Hoofprint. The editorial was Over spring break, my mom and I drove originally published in Volume 36, Number 4, on from North Carolina to Massachusetts, passing April 12, 2016 in that publication. through seven northern states on the way.

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spiritual reflections by Rev. Dawn Flynn :: guest contributor

God loves everyone All of us that are LGBT Christians have had a difficult journey in life. We have suffered from persecution and judgment because we are different. That persecution and judgment, whether it be from family, friends, coworkers or strangers, has beaten us down to the point that we frequently question our worth as a person and our worth to our God and Jesus, our Savior. Many of us probably can even say that we were told by the organized church that we were living in sin and that God did not love us. On top of that, we were probably told that the only way we could be saved was to repent of our sin and change our lifestyle. Well, I want to reaffirm to you that whoever told you that was wrong. My prayer is that after you read this article that God’s Holy Spirit will affirm its love for you and you will be filled with joy knowing you were fearfully and wonderfully made by your Creator and that God loves you just the way you are. Let me share a little of my life journey to illustrate what I mean. Up until four years ago there is no way you could have convinced me that I was fearfully and wonderfully made, for I was living a lie that I had lived for over 50 years. I was unhappy in my own skin. All the time growing up from age eight, I felt I was a woman trapped in a male body. I longed to be a woman in my thoughts and dreams. When I looked in the mirror, I cried and died a little each day. What I saw in the mirror, i.e. my body, did not match who I felt I was inside. I struggled with what I had been taught growing up in church that we shouldn’t mess with nature. God doesn’t make mistakes (have you heard that before?) and if we mess with it, we are committing a great sin. My faith told me I could never be a woman, but my mind kept telling me otherwise. I had mixed prayers — one night I would pray that God would take the feelings away and the next night I would pray that I could wake up a girl. All my life I struggled and did all I could to be what the ‘church’ said I had to be — a male. I married twice and had two sons. Each time I married and had kids, I kept hoping that each action would “make a man out of me.” But it never did. I even resorted to alcohol to drown my sorrows. That didn’t work either. I so desperately wanted the torment to end. I felt the call to ministry and served three churches over 10 years in the United Methodist Church, but they found out about my gender dysphoria and told me that God’s love for me was on shaky ground because I was living in sin and I was sick. You, like me, had probably been raised to believe that the “church” was God’s hand in the world, spreading the Good News of Jesus Christ to the lost. And that hand was blessed by the Holy Spirit to correctly interpret the Holy Scriptures. Therefore, if they say we are sick and that God’s love for us is on shaky ground, then there must be some truth to what they were saying. Like you, I was devastated when the church condemned me and bullied me into resigning. I couldn’t handle the devastation and planned suicide, believing I had lost all that I wanted to

these promises. It just says you have to fear God and keep God’s precepts. For those of us who claim to be Christian, that makes sense because that is who we are. We love God and Jesus and desire to serve them. John 1:12-13 says: “Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God — children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.” That clearly tells me that we are all children of God, born in God’s image and I should have nothing to be ashamed of. As a trans woman, I now know that I don’t have anything to be ashamed of. But that was not always the case. All who are LGBT individuals know that you have nothing to be ashamed of. You and I were fearfully and wonderfully made by a wonderful, loving Creator of us all. Know that God has loved you from the beginning. In Jeremiah 1:5 God tells Jeremiah, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I Photo Credit: consecrated you.” That means Lane Erickson that God knew you and I were via Adobe Stock going to be LGBT when we were in our mother’s womb. That means that our Creator has set us apart to be witnesses of God’s love for all mankind by living a life of love and not of hate. We have all been chosen and called for this special ministry to the world. Now it is up to us to fulfill that calling and stand up proudly to be who we are. For me personally, I now fully understand why I lived when my mother lost 11 fetuses by miscarriage because of Rh factor problems. God and Jesus knew I was going to be transgender when I was still in my Mom’s womb. But the church couldn’t see that. The “church” couldn’t see beyond their golden halls. Now I know that God has been preparing me, my whole life, for this very time to speak of God and Jesus’ love — Galatians 3:26-29 for all humankind. God has been preparing you, your whole life, for this very time to witness the same message for all of you are one in Christ Jesus. And if of love. Their love has always been there and you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s will always be there. We should not let anyone offspring, heirs according to the promise.” The tell us otherwise, regardless of what label they Apostle Paul says there is no longer male and put on us. female. That means that the traditional “gender I am learning every day that the only way boxes,” the binary system of genders as sociI can successfully be what God has called me ety and the “church” classes people, doesn’t to be is to love myself. I had never loved myself work for God. That includes the traditional until I embraced being transgender and bebinary pairing for commitment relationships. coming my true self. Now, I can say that I have God sees the heart. In God’s eyes, we are all never been happier in my life. You also need to one if we believe in Jesus. love yourself. We all need to truly understand In Psalm 103:17-18, we read, “But from and embrace what the writer of John 3:16 everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is meant when he wrote “For God so loved the with those who fear him and his righteousworld that He gave His only Son that whosoness with their children’s children with those ever believes in Him should not perish but have who keep his covenant and remember to obey eternal life.” He meant that God’s love is for his precepts.” As children of God and heirs to everyone, not the selected few the “church” the promises of Abraham which we read in deems worthy. We are among the whosoever, Galatians 3, we are clearly told in this Scripture should hold our heads high, knowing we have that the Lord’s love is for those who fear him been selected by our Creator to bring God and and obey God’s precepts for their children Jesus’ message of love to the world. : : through all generations. It does not have any — Rev. Dawn Flynn is pastor of qualifiers such as you have to be heterosexual New Life Metropolitan Community Church, to receive these promises. It does not say you Charlotte, N.C. have to be Hebrew or Caucasian to receive live for — my family, my friends, my church and God’s love. But God stopped me from committing suicide. The Holy Spirit came to me in a dream and stopped me. It told me to talk to a therapist, which I did, and she opened my eyes that God loves everyone. She said I was just being myself and what God had created me to be. For the first time in my life I was free. When I embraced who I was, I felt blessed. All of us who are LGBT individuals need to embrace who we are and know that God loves us. God didn’t make a mistake when you were created. God doesn’t make mistakes. The church is wrong in condemning LGBT people. Let’s look at some Scriptures closely and really see what God says regarding being an LGBT person. Galatians 3:26-29 says, “For in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith. As many of you as were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female;

❝ There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.❞

qnotes connect June 3-16, 2016 Vol 31 No 03

arts. entertainment. news. views. goqnotes.com twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue

Bill Allen, Buff Faye, Rev. Dawn Flynn, Dr. Lyndall Hare, Stan Kimer, Lainey Millen, Julianna Renni, Jeff Taylor, Trinity

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Graphic Design by Photography/Illustration: Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBT and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBT life and social justice issues. Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Managing Editor: Jim Yarbrough, editor@goqnotes.com Assoc. Editor: Lainey Millen, specialassignments@goqnotes.com Social Media Editor: Jeff Taylor, socialmedia@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen, x205 production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.

Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2016 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

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upcoming issues: 06.17.16: Queer Arts in the QC Advertising Space Deadline: June 8 07.01.16: Summer Travel Advertising Space Deadline: June 22

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news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

Carolinas HRC names new co-chairs

Pictured left to right are Human Rights Campaign Carolina Gala Co-Chairs Davey Greene, Dawn Pugh and J. Alan Goddard.

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) Carolina has announced the appointment of J. Alan Goddard, Davey Greene and Dawn Pugh as its 2017 HRC North Carolina Gala co-chairs. The event will be held on Feb. 4, 2017. “The North Carolina Board of Governors and Directors are excited J. Alan, Davey and Dawn have been selected to chair the 2017 gala,” said Dan Mauney, member of the HRC Board of Governors and the prior 2007 and 2012 gala co-chair. “The North Carolina Gala is an award-winning event and continues to be one of the largest HRC Galas in the country. This year’s co-chair team is committed to continuing a long-standing record of success, as well as striving to reach new communities and milestones as we continue our fight for equality across the Carolinas and beyond!” Goddard is an operations manager with Dole Food Company in Charlotte, N.C. He previously served on active duty with the U.S. Air Force and is currently a major in the Air Force Reserves. Greene has a strong resume of activism and volunteerism. His accomplishments include activities with OutCharlotte, Gay Bingo, among others. His alter-ego, Lana Cane, has served the community through performance and hosting a myriad of events. Pugh has spent many years of service to HRC on the steering committee and other roles. She has also helped sponsor numerous events, including the 2016 Drag Diner. Professionally, she is a real estate agent and the mother of twins. HRC is now searching for corporate sponsors, silent auction items, table captains and volunteers for the gala. It is in the early stages of development for the upcoming event and needs those who are experienced with event management, brand management, software administration, social media content creation, recruiting and fundraising. Email dinner@hrccarolina.org to learn more. info: hrccarolina.org.

as kickball, Jenga, Twister and face painting and more. DJ Little Betty will spin tunes during the event. info/rsvp: bit.ly/20QsdHb.

TOY hosts volunteer trainings

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Time Out Youth Center (TOY), 2320 N. Davidson St., will hold an agency volunteer orientation and a host home provider training on June 13, 6:30 p.m. The organization is always in need of trained volunteers and these opportunities enable those who seek to support TOY in this way with a viable and important option. Email O’Neale Atkinson, director of youth programs, at oatkinson@timeoutyouth.org to sign up for the orientation. TOY’s host home provider program works to recruit volunteers who are willing to provide a safe, stable and welcoming space for LGBT homeless youth. All volunteers must be 25 years old, complete a Host Home Provider application, complete a home visit and attend a volunteer training. Email Shakira Clarke, director of youth services at sclarke@timeoutyouth.org to learn more or to sign up for the June training or any future ones as they become available. info: timeoutyouth.org.

Tennis tourney upcoming

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The Queen City Tennis Club will host its 11th annual Carolina Cup tournament with the Triangle Tennis Club on June 25 at Park Road Park’s tennis courts, 6220 Park Rd. The tourney is a yearly intra-state tennis tournament between the two clubs, consisting of several singles/doubles matches at various skill levels. It is not only meant to foster relations between the state’s two organized Gay and Lesbian Tennis Alliance clubs, but it also raises money for charity, as the losing club must make a donation to the winning club’s charity of choice. The matchup began in 2005 and has continued annually with each club rotating host responsibilities. The tournament is open to the public. It has traditionally gained support from the tennis playing LGBT community in the Charlotte Metro area. For starting times, email queencitytennisclub @yahoo.com. info: qctc.org. triangletennisclub.com.

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Charlotte ASO hosts run fundraiser

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Carolinas CARE Partnership will hold its Carolina Pop Run 5K/10K on June 4, 8 a.m., at Mc Alpine Park, 8711 Monroe Rd. The event is a fundraiser and awareness event to support the services of Carolinas CARE Partnership. The day is inspired by activities that encourage participants to be kids at heart. Registration begins at 8 a.m. with the race following at 9 a.m. The public is invited to register to run in the park and enjoy the great outdoors. Popsicle goodies will be provided from the King of Pops. The event host is Fox News Rising and WCCB-TV anchor Terrance Bates. Awareness of HIV/AIDS and action toward thwarting it are the driving themes of the day’s event. North Carolina ranks 12th in the

U.S. for individuals who have HIV/AIDS, with Mecklenburg County having the highest rate in the state. Continual HIV prevention outreach, advocacy and education efforts are urgently needed for a new generation at risk. Call Lesha Dodson at 704-496-9578 or email LeshaD@carolinascare.org to learn more about the event. Event sponsors include Gilead, Rosedale Infectious Diseases and Dr. Lewis McCurdy of ID Consultants. info: carolinascare.org.

BOA, HRC host picnic

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — A community family picnic for LGBT and allied families will be held on June 5, 12 p.m., at Wedgewood Community Church, 4800 Wedgewood Dr. Hamburgers, hotdogs and fixings, along with baked beans, slaw, chips and equality cupcakes will be served. There will be games and activities such

Guide aids LGBT youth

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Cyndi Lauper’s True Colors Fund and Time Out Youth Center (TOY) have partnered with the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) to create “On Our Own: A Survival Guide for Independent LGBTQ Youth.” The innovative guide is for LGBT youth facing the prospect of living on their own after leaving unsupportive or abusive homes, or aging out of foster care. “On Our Own: A Survival Guide for Independent LGBTQ Youth” is geared toward older teens and young adults forced to fend for themselves, typically without parental support and often lacking the skills or resources needed to live safely and begin building a successful life. The guide provides practical advice on essential topics ranging from finding housing, going to school and opening a bank account, to getting a job, accessing healthcare and living on a budget.

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“As we work toward a more equal world for LGBTQ people, we know that our youth remain vulnerable, particularly when they are rejected by their families simply because of who they are,” said Mary Beth Maxwell, HRC senior vice president for programs, research, and training. “The distressing reality is that far too many LGBTQ young people are forced to fend for themselves, and struggle daily to find housing, food, and other basic resources.” “As the mother of a teenager, I’m constantly reminded of how important it is for young people to have help and guidance as they transition to adulthood,” Maxwell said. “We were honored to partner with True Colors and Time Out Youth to provide this practical roadmap for LGBTQ youth looking to independently establish stability and security in their lives.” Across the country, LGBTQ youth are particularly vulnerable to homelessness. Research shows that of the nearly two million young people affected by homelessness each year, up to 40 percent identify as LGBT — even though they make up only five to 10 percent of the overall youth population. Many homeless LGBT young people have said they have been rejected by their families. They also often face harassment or discrimination when attempting to access shelters and other services. The new guide highlights many LGBT-friendly service providers. LGBT youth are also overrepresented in the foster home system, where they face unique challenges because of their identities, and often age out without the support necessary to live successfully on their own. “LGBTQ youth experiencing homelessness may not know how to navigate certain situations, like opening a bank account, accessing healthcare, or locating food — and they may not have anyone to ask for guidance,” said Jama Shelton, deputy executive director of True Colors Fund. “‘On Our Own’ provides the information and resources these young people need to thrive.” “So many of our youth become independent at an early age and do not know where to turn for help or have the basic skills to survive on their own,” said TOY Executive Director Rodney S. Tucker. “We hope this guide will answer some of their big questions and get them on the path to stability.” More information on LGBT youth, including issues of homelessness and foster care, is available online. info: bit.ly/1XJoyvb.

Triad ASO seeks urgent help

GREENSBORO, N.C. — Triad Health Project (THP), an HIV/AIDS service and support organization, is currently $21,575 short of its 2016 Dining for Friends (DFF) goal and seeks the community’s support to close the gap before the end of its fiscal year, June 30. “In so many ways, we’ve had a remarkable DFF season, with wonderful parties and engaged and generous donors. But a few of our longstanding and high-contributing parties didn’t happen this year, and we need some extra help

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news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

Carolinas HRC names new co-chairs

Pictured left to right are Human Rights Campaign Carolina Gala Co-Chairs Davey Greene, Dawn Pugh and J. Alan Goddard.

as kickball, Jenga, Twister and face painting and more. DJ Little Betty will spin tunes during the event. info/rsvp: bit.ly/20QsdHb.

TOY hosts volunteer trainings

Tennis tourney upcoming

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Charlotte ASO hosts run fundraiser

BOA, HRC host picnic

Guide aids LGBT youth

news

Triad ASO seeks urgent help

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news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

Carolinas HRC names new co-chairs

Pictured left to right are Human Rights Campaign Carolina Gala Co-Chairs Davey Greene, Dawn Pugh and J. Alan Goddard.

Charlotte ASO hosts run fundraiser

BOA, HRC host picnic

as kickball, Jenga, Twister and face painting and more. DJ Little Betty will spin tunes during the event. info/rsvp: bit.ly/20QsdHb.

TOY hosts volunteer trainings

Tennis tourney upcoming

Guide aids LGBT youth

news

Triad ASO seeks urgent help

see Carolinas on 12 June 3-16 . 2016

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Carolinas News Notes continued from page 11 from our community to reach our goal,” said Ken Keeton, the agency’s interim executive director. DFF is a 27-year tradition for THP. Funds raised by DFF support THP’s direct client services programs which are focused on appropriate medical care and provide a host of supportive services to people living with HIV/AIDS. Additionally, funds support THP’s prevention, testing, and education outreach initiatives throughout the larger community. Donations of any amount are welcomed and appreciated, and can be made online or by mailing a check to Triad Health Project, P.O. Box 5716, Greensboro, NC 27435. “HIV/AIDS remains a huge challenge in Guilford County, and it’s not going away anytime soon,” Keeton added. “Nearly 3,000 of our friends and neighbors are living with this chronic illness, and we still see new HIV infections, particularly among young adults. There is still a lot of work to do.” THP has served the Triad community for 30 years. info: triadhealthproject.com.

Triangle Pros meet for dinner

RALEIGH, N.C. — The Raleigh Business and Professional Network will hold its monthly meeting on June 8, 6:30 p.m., at P.G. Werth’s, 927 W. Morgan St. Guest speaker will be George Smart, an archivist and architectural historian. He will

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share the “great secret” that North Carolina has the third most Modernist houses in the country. In 2007, he discovered the state’s large number of “livable works of art” which led him to start North Carolina Modernist Houses, the largest open digital archive of Modernist residential architecture and architects in the nation. His presentation will showcase some state gems, some of which are endangered. Registration is available online. info: raleighnetwork.org.

Workshops aim to aid couples

DURHAM, N.C. — The Hold Me Tight Workshop for LGBT Couples will be held from June 24-26 at Durham Friends Meeting, 404 Alexander Ave. Learning skills to have a successful relationship takes work and the Hold Me Tight workshops offer a road map for development and sustaining them. Working with one’s partner, participants will be able to identify and stop painful patterns that have existed that have proven harmful to the relationship. Exercises in trust building and security issues will bring couples together so that they may experience a lifetime of deepening love. Elli Schmeltekoph, LPC, will serve as facilitator for the event. The educational opportunity runs for three days: June 24, 6:30-9 p.m.; June 25, 9 a.m.-5 p.m.; and June 25, 2-6 p.m. Cost to attend is $695 per couple. Registration is requested prior to the starting

day of the workshops and is available online. The workshops and the work that is undertaken is based upon attachment science, which has studied the ways humans bond with important others, Schmeltekopf shared.” Dr. Sue Johnson has been considered the foremost researcher and therapist in the area of Emotionally Focused Therapy and wrote “Hold Me Tight” to explain the process. The workshops are an extension of the book and offer increased support for couples and are held globally. Schmeltekopf said that each workshop is self-contained and participants should expect to attend for all the hours offered. The exercises within the workshop start with the couples studying their own interaction cycles and moving on to deepen their understanding of how they impact each other. This leads to needed changes. Material is presented by facilitators for learning, and videos of Sue Johnson working through the conversations with couples are shown, in addition to assisting couples as they work through the exercises. It is not a group process workshop, and sharing in the group is not necessary. Each couple works with the exercises in private. Schmeltekopf has been working with clients for over 10 years and specializes in trauma healing. Her partner, Dr. David Bate, is a family physician with over 30 years experience. He has also had extensive training in trauma healing. info: holdmetightasheville.com. drsuejohnson.com.

Gala tickets sale ending soon

RALEIGH, N.C. — The Crape Myrtle Festival (CMF) 36 Gala, “On the Brink of Change…,” will be held on June 8, 10 p.m., at the North Carolina Museum of National Science, 11 W. Jones St. Organizers hope to reach a goal of $100,000 in funds. Those who make contributions by June 8 at 10 p.m. will be included on the gala invitation list and be recognized on the organization’s website. Recently, CMF has reported that they had raised more than $53,000, but still needs more in order to assist the community, as well as take care of its operation expenses. “The theme of the CMF36 gala is a profound statement about how far we have come in the fight against HIV/AIDS. But, the need in our community is as great as ever,” organizers shared. Monies raised go toward supporting local groups which provide funding to HIV/AIDS and/or LGBT organizations. To date, CMF has raised nearly $2,000,000 since it began 36 years ago. The CMF35 annual report has details on the accomplishments. One does not need to attend the event in order to make contributions toward the effort. Visit Crape Myrtle’s website to learn more or to make a contribution. info: crapemyrtlefest.org.

Performers lends equality support

RALEIGH, N.C. — Singer Cyndi Lauper will bring her “Detour” tour to the Triangle on June 4, 8 p.m., at the Duke Energy Center for the Performing Arts, 2 E. South St., and through

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her True Colors Fund and team will make a contribution from ticket sales to Equality North Carolina as it pushes back against HB2. “I have seen time and time again what can happen when people join together to do what is fair and the effort to repeal HB2 is the right and fair thing to do. I am hopeful that all of the current efforts to repeal HB2 will be successful and the True Colors Fund and I will continue to do all that we can to help,” Lauper said. Tickets are still available online. Demi Lovato recently cancelled her concert with Nick Jonas in the Tar Heel State. However, she has joined the fight against HB2 by contributing proceeds of the sale of her “Cool for the Summer” T-shirt (which she wore at last month’s Billboard Music Awards) to support the transgender community. Proceeds will go to benefit Equality North Carolina and Time Out Youth Center. Sale of the shirt is available at tour stops. info: cyndilauper.com. dukeenergycenterraleigh.com. equalitync.org.

Story time comes to center

DURHAM, N.C. — The LGBTQ Center of Durham, 114 Hunt St., will host its Rainbow Family Story Time on June 5 at 2 p.m. Held the first Sunday of each month, the program provides time for children ages 3-5 and their caregivers to listen to LGBT-focused literature, as well as joining in with songs and movement. It is led by Rachel Galanter from the Exchange Family Center located on the premises. info: lgbtqcenterofdurham.org.

Documentary screening scheduled

RALEIGH, N.C. — “An Act of Love” documentary film will be shown on June 20, 7 p.m., at Fairmont United Methodist Church, 2501 Clark St. The film tells the story of an unwitting advocate in the fight for equal rights within the church, Rev. Frank Schaefer, who had his ministerial credentials revoked in December 2013 after officiating his son’s same-sex wedding. They were restored later on appeal. “An Act of Love” follows Schaefer and his family, from the initial trial through his final Judicial Council hearing, as they joined the struggle to change the church from within to allow for greater acceptance of its LGBT members and clergy, Reconciling United Methodists of North Carolina said. In late May, The General Conference of The United Methodist Church voted to accept a

proposal by the Council of Bishops for a special commission on LGBT-related policies and practices. Reconciling Methodists hope that the council will agree to demands placed upon it by LGBT members, clergy and supporters to put an end to defrocking ministers for being gay and for performing same-sex marriages, both of which are currently part of the church’s Book of Discipline. Upon the vote on May 18 by the conference, Matt Berryman, executive director of Reconciling Ministries Network released the following statement: “This historic action by the Council of Bishops (COB) represents a significant institutional shift in the direction of inclusion and equality. It is just a beginning, but it signals hope to an end of church trials, to celebrating all marriages, to accepting the gifts of our LGBTQ candidates for ministry, clergy and lay employees. This is the first time the COB has put their collective voice around the urgent cries for change and acceptance. We applaud their efforts knowing that the real work lies ahead. We call on the Council to act quickly and deliberately and to lead the church as promised. Today, we commit to hold the COB accountable for finally bringing justice to The United Methodist Church.” The proposal can be read at bit.ly/1THlQBK. Sign the petition at bit.ly/1sn6ATO to show support for LGBT Methodists, clergy and initiatives. info: rum-nc.org.

Regional ACLU names new exec

RALEIGH, N.C. — The American Civil Liberties Union of North Carolina (ACLU-NC) has announced that they have hired Karen Anderson as its new executive director. She will assume her duties on July 25. Anderson is a passionate civil libertarian with a strong leadership background, the organization shared. She has spent the last 15 years as director of administration and finance for the Office of the New Hampshire Public Defender. In that role, she had primary responsibility for all corporate, financial, and business matters, including strategic planning, human resources and more. Anderson has currently served as president of the board of the ACLU of New Hampshire

and previously served as that affiliate’s representative on the national ACLU board. She has a wide range of experience including work as a human resources consultant in Denver, Colo., at various human resources positions at the University of Denver and as a litigator with Gray & Hahn, PC. She previously worked in Rockford, Ill., as associate director of Prarie Legal Services and in Washington, D.C., as a litigation associate with Nixon, Hargraves, Devans & Doyle (now Nixon Peabody).

news

The ACLU-NC will be her first exposure to the state’s membership when it holds its annual meeting on June 5, 3 p.m., at NC Advocates for Justice, 1312 Annapolis Dr. RSVP to bit.ly/1smNk8R to join in. info: acluofnc.org. Have news or other information? Send your press releases and updates for inclusion in our News Notes: editor@goqnotes.com.

news notes: u.s./world compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

Broadway stars hold benefit to fight HB2 NEW YORK, N.Y. — On June 13, 8 p.m., at The Cutting Room, 44 E. 32nd St., over a dozen native North Carolina Broadway performers will join composers Stephen Schwartz and Jeanine Tesori for Broadway Voices for NC, a concert and fundraiser aimed at combatting HB2. The evening will feature an array of “proud” North Carolinians on a mission to celebrate tolerance and acceptance to prove that #WeAreNotThis. The concert is being organized by Raleigh, N.C., natives and Broadway performers Laurel Harris and Rob Marnell who met in their youth at a production of “Cinderella” at Raleigh Little Theatre and remain close to their North Carolina roots. Additional producers are Michael McCorry Rose and Tralen Doler, also serving as the director of the event. “We’ve been outraged and disappointed in our home state for passing this horrendous and insulting bill and wanted to do something about it from our new home in New York City,” Harris stated. “We hope that by pulling together some of our fellow thespians and composer friends, many of whom are fellow N.C. natives, we’ll be able to create a stir and get Governor McCrory’s attention. We believe change and forward progress will ultimately win out over oppressive steps backwards, and we’re raising funds for those leading the fight.” Non-N.C. Natives but allies against HB2 performing are award-winning composers Tesori and Schwartz. Tesori won the Tony Award last year for Best Score for “Fun Home,” which also won the Tony Award for Best

Musical. Schwartz has previously spoken out against HB2 and recently revoked performance rights to his musicals in North Carolina in protest of the legislation. The Grammy and Academy Award-winning composer has written 18 musicals, including “Wicked,” “Godspell,” “Pippin” and “Children of Eden.” In addition to performances by Harris and Marnell, the concert will feature performances by many high-profile North Carolinians, now living and performing in New York, including; Beth Leavel, Ariana Debose, Daniel Watts, Lindsay Northen, Melvin Tunstall, Tally Sessions and Brandon Ellis. Trans writer and advocate Vivian Taylor, former executive director of Integrity USA and fellow North Carolina native, will serve as the evening’s keynote speaker. Hosting the event is Geena Rocero, a model, TED speaker and activist. She is the founder of Gender Proud, an advocacy and aid organization that stands up for the right of transgender people worldwide to “self-identify with the fewest possible barriers.” All proceeds from the event will benefit Equality North Carolina. Additional proceeds will go to local LGBT centers whose members are affected by the passage of the bill. Tickets are $40/general admission and $75/premium and are available online at bit. ly/1Z9dO8r.

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Gay & Gray

Orgs offer respite for LGBT elders Offer assistance, community to a deserving demographic in need by Jeff Taylor :: Social Media Editor

Seniors groups and services provide opportunities for seniors to get together for social gatherings and camaraderie, such as having coffee and pastries at a SAGE soireé, gaining skills, catching a lunch, enjoying a potluck dinner or heading out to see a movie. Photo Credit: contrastwerkstatt via Adobe Stock

GBT seniors offer those of us in the community who have not yet hit our golden years a direct link to the past. They are living reminders of where we have been, full of stories and knowledge that, when tapped, provide a wealth of insight and a heightened awareness of what it means to be lesbian, gay, bi or trans in this day and age. LGBT seniors also have a unique set of concerns. Over the years, a number of organizations and groups have sprung up to help our older LGBT brothers and sisters with these issues. Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders, or SAGE, is the country’s oldest and largest organization dedicated to advocating for rights in this field. They focus on the wide array of LGBT elder needs, from arts and culture to health and wellness, political advocacy to community building. As they point out on their website, sageusa. org, recent estimates suggest that the number of LGBT people ages 65 and up will double by the year 2030. SAGE also notes that due to both anti-LGBT and ageist bigotry, this group is more likely to face issues of poverty, routine discrimination and poor health. These organizations and social clubs aim to reverse the trend and offer assistance and community where it is needed most. Below are some of the major players in the field in North Carolina. SAGE Raleigh & SAGE Wilmington There are two SAGE chapters in North Carolina: SAGE Raleigh and SAGE Wilmington of the Cape Fear Coast. SAGE Raleigh began as the Gay & Gray Initiative in 2011, as a way to offer services and

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June 3-16 . 2016

advocacy for LGBT individuals ages 50 and older. They joined the SAGE network in 2013. “We knew from the very beginning that we wanted to become affiliated with SAGE,” says Les Geller, a former board member of the LGBT Center of Raleigh who started Gay & Gray. Geller says they had to conduct surveys and focus groups to find out areas of interest and need amount in the LGBT elder community and were in contact with SAGE about various requirements they needed to meet, which they eventually did after about a year and a half of work. SAGE Raleigh hosts a weekly Thursday morning drop-in at the LGBT Center of Raleigh, 324 S. Harrington St., where members can come and have some coffee and a pastry and chat. The city of Raleigh has twice awarded the group a grant to help run this initiative. They also have a Tuesday evening soireé event on the second Tuesday of every month from 5:30-8:30 p.m. and organize other social events from time to time, such as picnics, pot lucks, dances and outings to museums, theaters and movies. Education sessions are also held, on topics such as ageism, HIV awareness and internet security. The group has also begun a housing initiative that will, as Geller says, “look into the possibility, or probability, of establishing LGBT friendly affordable senior housing in Wake County.” Geller says they have broken up into two groups: one to educate and train staff and administration for existing senior housing projects,

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life

Gay & Gray

Challenges abound in locating LGBT seniors’ resources Targeted agencies, organizations provide options by Bill Allen :: qnotes contributor

inding information and resources during retirement and the golden years is difficult even for the most savvy of seniors. But LGBT elders have a particularly difficult time because until recently there did not appear to be that many resources available to them. Recognizing that problem, national and local organizations are starting to develop specific initiatives to address the unique needs of the LGBT elder community. On a national level, AARP sponsors SAGE (Services and Advocacy for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Elders), which is a helpful website with information, pamphlets and videos on a variety of topics related to the particular issues of older LGBT individuals. Chapters have been springing up across the U.S., including the Carolinas, to bring a bit of a local touch to the mix, as well as a place to interact with others and develop friendships. AARP also has a separate webpage with some helpful information on such things as estate planning and places to find caregivers for LBGT loved ones. The issue of caregiving is especially difficult for those taking care of Alzheimer’s patients. To that end, the Western Carolina Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association in Charlotte, N.C., provides information concerning that particular medical issue. More importantly, the association has sponsored several Conversations About LGBT Adults forums to look at the issues and needs of the com-

Places to Look for Information for LGBT Elders •A ARP Pride aarp.org/relationships/friends-family/aarp-pride.html •A ll About Seniors allaboutseniors.org/. •A lzheimer’s Association (Charlotte) LGBT forums alz.org/northcarolina/in_my_community_102894.asp. •A .S.P.I.R.E (A Sacred Place Inviting Realistic Experience) aspirecarolina.org. •C entralina Area Agency on Aging centralina.org/centralinaaging/services-in-area/. •C harlotte Transgender Medical Group cthcg.org/. •G ayAsheville.Com gayashevillenc.com/Elders.html. •G ay and Lesbian Medical Association glma.org. • J ust 1 Call charmeck.org/mecklenburg/county/dss/Just1Call/Pages/Default.aspx.

• LGBT Elder Advocates of Western North Carolina lgbtelderadvocatesofwnc.org. •N ational Resource Center on LGBT Aging lgbtagingcenter.org. • PACE (Program of All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly pacesp.com/. • SAGE (Services and Advocacy for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Elders) sageusa.org. • SAGE Raleigh lgbtcenterofraleigh.com/programs/adult-programs/sage-raleigh.html. • SAGE Wilmington of the Cape Fear Coast thefrankharrfoundation.com/sagewilmington.html • Sharon Village Retirement Community whiteoakindependentliving.com/sharon-village-2. • Shepherd’s Center of Charlotte shepherdscharlotte.org.

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Gay & Gray

Are elders in the LGBT community welcomed into aging services? Challenges abound in traditional settings by Dr. Lyndall Hare :: qnotes quest contributor

hirty years in the field of aging in Charlotte gives me an historical perspective on how we’ve done meeting the needs of LGBTQ elders and caregivers. In summary — sporadic at best. We’ve witnessed courageous graduate students and colleagues doing fascinating research on what needs to be addressed to bring a semblance of inclusion into aging services — through training of staff in retirement communities and other services for older adults. We’ve expressed dismay about all the

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June 3-16 . 2016

prejudices and ignorance, our field mirroring what’s happening across the state with HB2 as an example. Oh, imagine how cumbersome it would be to adhere to its requirements in a retirement community! We’ve heard from our LGBTQ friends about the lack of understanding and prejudice within our field, even though many working in this field identify as LGBTQ. Because the work we do with elders is sometimes so personal, it’s even more important for us to be allies. A daughter caregiving for a gay father shouldn’t

have to explain to us that his husband has rights. We should know that already through some basic cultural sensitivity. I’ve witnessed first-hand in a nursing home setting dear friends of mine (one at the end of her life) being disregarded as a couple by staff members at such a critical time. And someone who is trans and needing full eldercare services in skilled nursing care has the right to be respected in the most vulnerable of care situations. We’re all aging and Charlotte’s elder population is increasing. Many elders remark

that they feel invisible, which often results in social isolation. And this invisibility may be even more pronounced as an LGBTQ elder. It’s our responsibility in aging services to reach out to all elders in ways that are welcoming and inclusive without being patronizing. One recent example of reaching out and partnering was an LGBT forum hosted by the Alzheimer’s Association titled “Conversations About LGBT Older Adults, Families, Equality, Health and Community Services.” Here are some of the key findings: • Require standards of care for training of health care professionals • Advocate for change by making small changes such as how organizations market themselves and the images they use • The creation of a resource tool for the LGBT community to identify elder services that provide inclusive environments • Education about all documents available for end-of-life decision-making such as health care powers of attorney, living wills, durable powers of attorney • Education about changing legal protections and laws that are so critical to protect rights of caregivers Having highlighted here what needs to change within the aging services community, I’d like to quote from the conclusion of the recent “Needs Assessment Report: LGBT Elders in Charlotte” by Charlene Barr, Kianna Pratt, LaKeysha Sawyer, and Emma Sheedy at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte: “It’s not enough to just educate health care organizations and professionals without educating all levels of society, including policy makers and insurance agencies. Social community centers as well as housing developments should be required to uphold an inclusive and safe environment for this vulnerable population. Accessibility to pertinent legal information can assist in the protection of rights across many realms of life and wellbeing.” Can I get a “Heck, yeah”?! : : — Lyndall Hare, PhD, is a Social Worker and Concierge Gerontologist providing Eldercare Coaching, Consulting, and Training.

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life

Gay & Gray

Senior housing project progresses Provides alternatives for elder living in community model by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

illage Hearth Cohousing has announced that on May 9 its civil engineers, Coulter, Jewell, Thames, PA, submitted annexation and rezoning requests along with development plans to Durham City/County Planning Development in Durham, N.C. The project is for the construction of an LGBT-focused senior living community located 20 minutes from the downtown district on a 15-acre wooded site. qnotes previously reported that finding a safe place to thrive in one’s twilight years can often be challenging for those from the LGBT community. The developers are working to close that gap by creating one of the first LGBT elder communities on the East Coast. It will be the first LGBT senior cohousing community in the U.S. and will also welcome allies and friends in a supportive neighborhood of active adults choosing to age together. The facility will be conveniently located to shopping and more. It will be open to all those who are 55-years-old and above. Its aim is to provide its residents with frequent interactions with others in a secure environment. Village Hearth’s Pat McAulay said, “One goal in creating this community is to get the systems in place to handle the changes of aging, and then we won’t have to worry about ‘what if?’ When we need some accommodation, it will already be in place. In the meantime, we’re looking forward to learning about our new neighbors’ skills, interests and passions.” She also shared that they are looking for a few more members before beginning its design workshops this fall. Plans are being developed which include an “intent to build 28 fully-accessible homes clustered on one end of the land to preserve as much green space as possible, as well as proxim-

ity to neighbors and common facilities.” Target home prices are expected to range from $185,000 to the high $300s. “To allow a more diverse community, we’re encouraging co-buying and shared housing. There will be a small number of rental homes available for which we are currently maintaining a contact list,” McAulay added. McAulay just attended the Aging Better Together conference held in May in Salt Lake City, Utah, sponsored by the Cohousing Association of the United States and SageHill Cohousing Partners. Serious conversations were had about creating a culture and an environment in which its members will be able to stay in their homes in community far longer than if they were isolated in their old neighborhoods. McAulay said, “The most important outcome was that 250 great minds involved in cohousing nationwide are now brainstorming about how to keep us living in community.” Cohousing is a concept brought to the U.S. in the late 1980s by architects Charles Durrett and Kathryn McCamant. It provides an inherent sense of community reminiscent of a small village. Specific to aging in community, houses tailored for seniors create easy transitions throughout each individual home and pedestrian paths diminish the need for driving. Most importantly, each individual in the community has a voice, and the neighborhood is co-created. Village Hearth Cohousing hired McCamant & Durrett Architects for the architectural design and CoHousing Solutions for development consulting, two companies with a strong track record of starting successful cohousing communities in the U.S. Cohousing provides a place for people with a similar history to come together. For many LGBT individuals, this aspect

Cohousing offers its residents more interaction with those who share a common interest and help keep in their homes longer.

is key, especially in a time when other alternatives, such as traditional senior communities, may have discriminatory practices and immediate families may be indifferent. Many LGBT seniors do not have children on whom they may rely, so creating a community of peers and friends makes perfect sense to co-founders Margaret Roesch and McAulay. Email them at villagehearthcohousing@gmail.com to learn more. : : info: villagehearthcohousing.com. cohousing.org. sagehillcohousing. cohousingco.com. cohousingsolutions.com.

June 3-16 . 2016

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life

PRIDE 2016

Carolinas sets pace for Pride season as celebration month rolls in across U.S. Events scatter across the summer and fall landscape by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

Country artist Ty Herndon will be the headliner at the Salisbury Pride festival on June 24.

une is heralded as the month that the LGBT rights movement began. Out from the Greenwich Village’s Stonewall Inn, a band of courageous individuals fought back against the system to demand rights and respect from their community and neighbors. Now, many decades later, LGBT groups and organizations have taken what was a more solemn observance in the early years and turned it into a full-fledged celebration, often with festivals, entertainment, and in some places, parades where the community and its allies are able to show support for and rally behind LGBT causes in a highly visible mode. Key moments in LGBT history: June 28, 1969 Stonewall Riots herald in the gay rights movement and public outcry. 1973 Being gay declassified as a mental disorder by the American Psychological Association. 1981 AIDS crisis ushered in. 2000 Vermont becomes the first state to allow same-sex civil unions. 2003 In Lawrence v. Texas, anti-sodomy laws are struck down by the Supreme Court. 2009 President Barack Obama puts his signature on the Hate Crimes Prevention Act. Sept. 21, 2011 “Don’t Ask, Don’t” Tell lifted from military ban, thus giving LGB individuals the right to serve in the Armed Forces openly. June 26, 2015 Same-sex marriage legalized by Supreme Court as nation celebrates major victory.

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June 3-16 . 2016

Pride, Carolinas style So, here is the “411” on everything Pride in the Carolinas from now through October, including news about the assorted organizations and a quick rundown on what is planned as of press time. Don’t forget, all of the Pride groups are always in need of volunteers to help make their events successful. They also need the support of the community, either by gifts in-kind goods and services, contributions, sponsors and more.

Pride headliner announced

Salisbury Pride will be bringing in country music star Ty Herndon as its headliner at its festival in the historic downtown district on June 24. He will also stage a concert on June 24 at Nashville Nights, 127 E. Innes St. Herndon is one of a small group of LGBT country music artists. He came out in 2014 in a People magazine interview saying, “I’m an out, proud and happy gay man.” Tickets are $15/advance and $25/at the door. VIP tickets are $50 and include VIP seating at the concert and a meet and greet on Saturday at the festival. VIP tickets are limited, so order quickly to secure the package. Salisbury Pride is currently seeking Peace Keepers for the festival and other volunteers. In other news, the organization is deliberationg on its selection for its annual Ketner Ally Award. It was established by Salisbury Pride to recognize an individual who has contributed to progressing equality and acceptance for the LGBT community in and around Rowan County. The recipient will be presented with the award at the festival.

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Pride 2016 continued from page 18 info: salisburypride.org.

Nicole Townsend

Pride selects new fest chair

Blue Ridge Pride Center’s Executive Director Yvonne Cook-Riley has announced that the organization has chosen Nicole Townsend as its 2016 festival chair. Originally from New Madrid, Mo., she has been a stalwart defender of justice. Her brother died from AIDS when she was 10-years-old. Surrounded by negativity after the death, she became a student of the social justice movement. Townsend lent her voice to fight against hate crimes in Asheville, N.C., by helping to generate funds needed by grassroots organizations. A person of color, she often felt like the “token black lesbian in the room.” That led her

to seek out other African-American lesbians in North Carolina. As a result, she produced a film entitled “Color ME Brown: Conversations with un-muted voices.” At that juncture she found herself traveling the southeast screening the film for college campuses and more. Townsend cites her African-American and Chickasaw heritage as the guiding force behind her work to bring visibility to those who are often muted, underrepresented, and underserved. Blue Ridge Pride Center’s Executive Director Yvonne Cook-Riley has announced that the organization’s constituent management system is now available for use. Volunteers, donors, vendors and outside organizations are able to use the service to help streamline operations. In order to participate, users are required to create a profile and establish a login user name and password. Afterward, the online system can be used to register for events, volunteer sign up, Pride merchandise purchases, contribution management and more. It only takes a moment to sign up. Visit bit. ly/1VY5wly to enroll. In other news, the center has announced that its fall Pride festival will be held on Oct. 1. They are in the process of securing volunteers, committee persons and more. They are also engaged in ongoing planning meetings that will take place leading up to the event. Email yvonne@blueridgepride.org to learn more. info: blueridgepride.org.

Pride organizations & celebration dates across the Carolinas: Salisbury Pride June 24, Salisbury, N.C. salisburypride.org. Charlotte Black Gay Pride July 16, Charlotte, N.C. charlotteblackgaypride.org. Charleston Pride Festival Aug. 6-14, North Charleston, S.C. charlestonpride.org. South Carolina Black Pride Aug. 18-21, Columbia, S.C. southcarolinablackpride.com.

OBX Pride Sept. 9-11, Outer Banks, N.C. (Nags Head, Manteo, Kill Devil Hills) obxpridefest.com. Greensboro Pride Sept. 17, Greensboro, N.C. greensboropride.org. Catawba Valley Pride Sept. 17, Hickory. N.C. catawbavalleypride.org.

NC Pride Sept. 24, Durham, N.C. ncpride.org. Blue Ridge Pride Oct. 1, Asheville, N.C. blueridgepride.org. Pride Winston-Salem Oct. 15, Winston-Salem, N.C. pridews.org.

Charlotte Pride Festival and Parade Aug. 20-21, Charlotte, N.C. charlottepride.org. South Carolina Pride Sept. 3, Columbia, S.C. scpride.org. Upstate Pride Sept. 10, Spartanburg, S.C. upstatepridesc.org.

Photo Credit: Rawpixel.com via Adobe Stock

More information on each of the events will be forthcoming in future qnotes issues when more details have been released. Check back to learn more. qnotes regrets if it inadvertently omitted anyone from the list. If our readers find an error or omission, please email us at editor@goqnotes.com with event details. Information will be used to update the listings. : :

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June 3-16 . 2016

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tell trinity by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

Well then what about straight men? Hey Trinity, You’ve said, “that gay men were created to teach the world how to be fabulous looking, sexuality empowered and enlightened about equality.” Well then what about straight men? Straight Stumped, Richmond, VA Hey Straight Stumped, Excluding metrosexuals, heterosexuals are here to be sexually attracted to the opposite sex and having little-to-no interior design or fashion sense. They also have many purposes, such as procreation and… well ah… yes, procreation is one of their many virtues. Oh, and let’s not forget who does the dirty work, i.e. oil changes, ditch digging and farming. So, baby, be kind, understanding and reach out and touch a heterosexual’s hand. Make this world a better place if you can! Dearest Trinity, After five years my very wonderful relationship has become a very dysfunctional disaster. I love my partner and I really want it to work, but he and us are out of control! Dys-Satisfied, Houston, TX Dearest Dys-Satisfied, Relationships are like floors, if you don’t keep up with them, they get faded, ruined and often end up needing to be replaced. Virginia Satir, author

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June 3-16 . 2016

and relationship therapist guru wrote, “Every three months end your relationship and start it again new with the same person.” Yes, in other words, darling, you too can turn a dysfunctional relationship around by a) continually reinventing and re-establishing new rules, b) getting couples counseling and/or c) getting out while you’re still alive! (Oy! Relationships are challenging at the least. See how I deal with all of this when you check out my cartoon. Can anyone say, “please” and “thank you” for schlepping?) Hello Trinity, My boyfriend of seven months suddenly announced that he wants to be “openly” promiscuous and be with me! Even though I am not comfortable with it, should I try? Confusion, Portland, OR Hello Confusion, From what I’ve studied, it’s typical for gay men to open their relationship up after three to seven years. There are many relationships based not on monogamy, but rather on friendship, openness and even sexual freedom! So, pumpkin, you have to sit with yourself and decide what you want from this relationship. You may decide that being open is better than cheating or that honesty is a bitch and you’re not ready to play like this.

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Dear Trinity, My partner keeps telling me to see a psychotherapist, but I typically handle my own problems. Isn’t therapy for people who are on their last straw? Therapy Thoughts, Portland, OR Dear Therapy Thoughts, We all need intellectual support, spiritual guidance and emotional assistance, especially before “the last straw.” But, sweetie, if you’re still not convinced here are: Trinity’s Practical Tips For Why To Visit A Professional Psychotherapist 1. Therapy may not be necessary for people who have their lives together, but it sure helps if you want to keep it that way! 2. Talking one-on-one with a professional is much more practical than calling the Psychic Hotline, a busy neighbor or spilling your guts to 9-1-1! 3. Sitting in a safe, comfortable environment with an objective professional truly is one of the easiest ways to look at yourself. 4. You can always wait until “The Last Straw” but…why? 5. Y ou don’t have to be jumping off a bridge to qualify for therapy. Get help before bridgejumping season begins, please! 6. R emember, the smartest people with the highest self-esteem don’t become that way… alone! 7. When someone says, “My therapist didn’t help.” I reply, “If your mechanic didn’t help, would you dump your car? Try someone else!”

8. If you’re extremely stubborn about solving your problems alone, then not only should you look into therapy, but look into it today! 9. “ I can’t afford a therapist,” means you have to research public health or non-profit agencies. There are plenty of affordable mental health clinics. Find one! 10. Lastly, yes, no one knows you better than yourself, but did you also know that you might still be reacting to the world as if it was 20 years ago! info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

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dishing with buff faye by Buff Faye :: qnotes contributor :: info@bufffaye.com

Pageant queen advice to win the crown Pageant season is here. All summer long you will find drag queens competing for prelims and statewide titles on their way to national contests for Miss Gay America, All American Goddess, Entertainer of the Year, USA Unlimited and the list continues. This month I asked some of my favorite pageant queens what do they think is important in doing a pageant. Hmmmmm… their advice is refreshing and so critical. So listen up and see if you are ready to compete for your crown! Preparation is key. To do a pageant, you must prepare yourself. You should consider why you want to do the pageant. What will be your assets and where you will need to focus to improve. Plus think critically about each of the categories and what you need to do to put forward your best heel. Research the pageant system. Understand the pageant rules and system. There are many types of pageants and each have their own criteria. Look back at past winners and their packages. Find out what judges like and what has scored well in that pageant system. How are the points divided? Do they drop the high the low score? How many judges will there be? You will not be surprised with the outcome if you do your diligence in researching the pageant. Evening gown ready? Make sure you start early to find the appropriate evening gown for your pageant system. You can’t buy something just off the rack and expect to win. The fit and look has to be perfect if you’re going to stand out above the rest. Don’t play dumb. Onstage Question & Interview categories are not the same in every system and sometimes they don’t even have an interview. But be prepared to know your stuff. You may have to answer questions related to your bio, why you want to win the pageant, what you will do with your pageant win - or simply know the history of the system if asked. Got talent? The most important, if not the highest score, in every pageant is the Talent Category. Be sure your talent is appropriate for the system. Plan your costumes and dancers way ahead of time. And plan for someone to drop out. Talent will make or break you. It is hard to win a pageant unless you have a quality, engaging talent. Save your money. Pageants are expensive. Start saving your money now so you can afford quality hair, makeup and costumes for your

package. This is not the time to drag out what you wear on stage every weekend to perform. Find sponsors. Ask bars that you work at and your friends to see if they’ll sponsor you. It takes a village to help a drag queen become her best self. If you don’t ask, you will never know. Don’t be upset if someone can’t give you money. And always show appreciation to those who do help. Judging is good. Be sure to ask judges for feedback and listen. You should also get your scores so you can see how you rated. It is appropriate for judges to talk to you after a pageant and for you to talk with them. A good judge will be willing to share his/her feedback. Always be kind and courteous. Everybody loses. Go into the pageant wanting to learn and become better. It is very unlikely that the first time you compete you will win. If you do win, well you must be special! : : DRAG TIP: Don’t stand by Malayia Chanel Iman during the crowning of the winner if you have open toe shoes. Oh, and realize we all make mistakes or do stupid things now and then. We live. We learn.

Pictured, left to right, are Sylar Tsar as current reigning 2015-16 Mr. Charlotte Pride with Buff Faye as current reigning 2015-16 Miss Charlotte Pride.

— Buff Faye calls the Queen City her home and believes in making the world a better place (and likes to raise money for charities). Find her at your favorite bars and hot spots. Plus don’t forget her weekly Saturday night show with Patti O’Furniture, monthly drag brunch and regular Friday night party bus. Learn more at AllBuff.com. Follow on Twitter @BuffFaye

SHOUT OUTS: Plan now. Buff Faye’s Drag Brunch is back on Saturday, June 18 at

Pure Pizza, 1911 Central Ave., in Plaza Midwood from Noon to 2:30 p.m. Come out and enjoy some daytime drag with food and fun for the whole family.

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Resources continued from page 15 munity, as well as provide health and community resource information and work to connect the senior industry with the LGBT community. Two additional resources for finding LGBTfriendly medical care is the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association (GLMA) website and the Charlotte Transgender Healthcare Group An excellent local organization which is LGBT friendly is the Shepherdâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Center, which connects learning and program services for older adults. Among their services offerings is its Senior Health Insurance Information Program, where volunteers meet to help individuals navigate the Medicare system. The center also offers a tax filing assistance program and transportation services for medical and dental appointments. Affordable housing is a particularly difficult issue for LGBT elders. Many LGBT elders are single, and may have families who are not supportive. Discrimination still abounds subtly and very few retirement communities expressly state they will not discriminate on basis of sexual orientation. One notable exception to this is the Sharon Village Retirement Community in southeast Charlotte which offers single-occupancy apartment living. A non-profit organization in its infancy that is seeking to address this issue is A.S.P.I.R.E. (A Sacred Place Inviting Realistic Experience) whose goal is to reduce homelessness among marginalized groups, such as LGBT individuals and veterans, so that they can become self-sufficient.

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June 3-16 . 2016

Seniors who need assistance, like with household chores and meal preparation to more acute issues, are able to find resources through a number of social service organizations or other programs. Photo Credit: auremar via Adobe Stock

There are also other area agencies which are not specifically focused on the issues and needs of LGBT elders, but can be helpful. One such agency is the Centralina Area Agency on Aging which provides services and referrals on a wide area of topics, including housing, caregiver support, transportation, home-delivered meals and legal services. In addition there is All About Seniors which is an online senior resource referral

directory for North and South Carolina; PACE (Program of All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly) which is a non-residential care facility on the corner of Milton Road and The Plaza which incorporates an adult day health center along with transportation and caregiver support services; and Just 1 Call, which is a source of information and referral for seniors in Mecklenburg County sponsored by the county Department of Social Services. : :

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Respite continued from page 14 informing them what to look for when considering LGBT elders’ needs, and the second to look into what it takes to establish a housing development geared toward LGBT seniors and their allies. SAGE Wilmington was also founded in 2013 and they do community and advocacy work similar to SAGE Raleigh. They are also now focusing on an inclusive housing initiative as well. Both groups are participating in the national SAGE initiative, SAGE Story, sponsored by AARP and the national SAGE organization, to share the unique stories of this underrepresented community. “Back in 2013, maybe a dozen older LGBT people [in Wilmington] sat down in front of a video camera and related their stories, their histories on video. SAGE USA collected those stories and exhibits them on their website,” says SAGE Wilmington Director Jeffrey Clayton Mills. “Then in 2015 we did a new round of SAGE Story, which are also online on the SAGE national website.” Mills says he believes the impact of having these stories out there before a wider audience helps to preserve a piece of LGBT history.

“Most elderly LGBT people really have fascinating stories to tell and it’s pretty wonderful to have them preserved this way,” he says. SAGE Wilmington was also present with over 500 members at a recent city council meeting, where they called on them to pass a resolution calling for the repeal of HB2, which they did in fact do that night. You can learn more about SAGE Raleigh at lgbtcenterof raleigh.com/programs/adult-programs/sage-raleigh and SAGE Wilmington at thefrankharrfoundation.com/sage-wilmington. LGBT Elder Advocates of WNC The LGBT Elder Advocates of WNC are a grassroots, nonprofit, operating as a division of the Blue Ridge Pride Center’s 501 (C)(3)and is hosted by the Area Agency on Aging at Land-of-Sky Regional Council. They advocate for Western North Carolina’s LGBT seniors by, as their mission states, “connecting people to resources and promoting cultural change by raising awareness and providing education.”

They offer awareness and sensitivity trainings and host a number of social events, such as book clubs, a social lunch program and a night out at the movies. Learn more about the LGBT Elder Advocates of WNC by visiting their website at lgbtelderadvocatesofwnc.org. Prime Timers, Charlotte, RaleighDurham-Chapel Hill, Asheville Prime Timers is a gay and bisexual male social group with chapters worldwide, including in Charlotte, Raleigh-DurhamChapel Hill and Asheville in North Carolina. Common activities include dinners, game nights, potluck dinners and outings to various events around town. Learn more about Prime Timers by visiting primetimersww.com, or by visiting the Prime Timers of Charlotte site at primetimersww. com/charlotte, the RDU Prime Timers at meetup.com/rdu-pt and/or the Asheville Prime Timers at ashevilleprimetimers.com. : :

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EVENTS June 2016 Platinum Gala for Time Out Youth Center Stage 2315 N. Davidson St., Charlotte 6:30-10:30 p.m. A gala to support the work Time Out Youth does for the LGBTQIA community, hosted by NBC Charlotte anchor and reporter Ben Thompson and with keynote speaker Fortune Feimster. Feimster, who comes from Gastonia, N.C., works as an actor, comedian, and writer who has worked on the show “Chelsea Lately” and is currently in the role of Nurse Collette on “The Mindy Project.” Food and drink will be available, including two complimentary beverages. Tickets cost $100 per person. More information and tickets are available online. timeoutyouth.org. –––––––––––––––––––– Dolly Parton: ‘Plain and Simple Tour’ Greensboro Coliseum Complex 1921 W. Gate City Blvd., Greensboro 7:30 p.m. Country music legend Dolly Parton comes through North Carolina on her “Plain and Simple” Tour. The eight-time Grammy Award winner will perform her hits as well as songs off her new double album Plain & Simple. Ticket prices vary. More information and tickets are available online. greensborocoliseum.com.

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Submit your event to our calendar!

You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a three-for-one entry. All Charlotte-area events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes.com), Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce (clgbtcc.org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com).

Tony Awards Viewing Party SEP JUN MO McGlohon Theatre at Spirit Square 345 N. College St., Charlotte 7 p.m. Celebrate theater’s big night by watching the Tony Awards on the big screen at McGlohon Theater. Complimentary non-alcoholic beverages and snacks will be provided and there will also be prize giveaways. Attendees will also get to walk the red carpet and have their photo taken with a real Tony Award. This is a free event. More information is available online. blumenthalarts.org. ––––––––––––––––––––

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LGBTQ Community & Ally Pool Party Le Meridien Charlotte 555 S. McDowell St., North Tower, Charlotte 12-4 p.m. Members of the LGBTQ community and their allies are welcome to attend this free pool party hosted by Takeover Friday. DJ Little Betty will be on hand to provide music and Absolut will be providing drinks. Gender neutral bathrooms will be available, as well as cabanas for those wishing to escape the sun. More information available online. facebook.com/events/238860776452916.

Mountain Moral Monday with Rev. Barber Bridge Park Railroad Ave., Sylva 5-8 p.m.

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Moral Mondays brings the protest against voter suppression, the destruction of the Photo Credit: -ted via flickr. CC license. environment, cuts to public education, tax increases and a lack of health care options in North Carolina to Sylva. Speakers, including NC NAACP President Rev. William Barber II, will be on hand and there will also be live music. This is a nonpartisan event and while protest signs are welcome, participants are asked not to bring party campaign signs. More information is available online. jacksonncnaacp.org. Continues through June 18 NCFA Style Week Le Meridien Charlotte 555 S. McDowell St., North Tower, Charlotte NC Fashion Association hosts this annual weeklong fashion event, one of the most notable in the Carolinas. Irina Shabayeva, of “Project Runway” fame, is this year’s finale designer. Tickets range from $20-$165. More information and tickets are available online. cfastyleweek.com.

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SEP JUN MO

The Jazz Room with Jason Marsalis The Stage Door Theater 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 6 p.m. and 8:15 p.m.

SEP JUN MO

Continues through June 19 Heroes Convention Charlotte Convention Center 501 S. College St., Charlotte Heroes Con is one of the biggest annual comic conventions in the country. Fans can meet professionals in the field, as well as browse thousands of comics and original artworks from exhibitors and artists alike. One day passes range from $15-$20. Three day passes cost $40. Kids under 12 get in free. heroesonline.com/heroescon.

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A special edition of The Jazz Room Series at The Stage Door Theater will feature internationally renowned vibraphonist Jason Marsalis playing a tribute set to the music of Lionel Hampton. There will be two shows, one at 6 p.m. and one at 8:15 p.m. Tickets are $12 in advance and $15 at the door. More information and tickets are available online. jazzarts.org.

Beatles Tribute Night SEP JUN MO Knight Theater at Levine Center for the Arts 430 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m. Experience a night of music from The Beatles by a variety of acts, each perThe State of Our State, an forming one or two songs by the band. SEP JUN MO Update on HB2 The concert is presented by Tosco from ACLU of NC Music Party, which specializes in eclecLGBT Center of Raleigh tic shows, often featuring singalongs. 324 S. Harrington St., Raleigh Tickets range in price from $19.80-$30. 7:30-9 p.m. Reduced rates are available for groups Raleigh Allies presents an evening with of 10 or more. More information and ACLU of North Carolina Legal Director tickets are available online. Chris Brook, who will discuss the legal blumenthalarts.org. battle over HB2 and what can be expected going forward. Doors open at 7 and the discussion will begin at 7:30. All members of the LGBT community and its allies are welcome to attend. More information is available online. lgbtcenterofraleigh.com.

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OUR PEOPLE:

Q&A with Ed DePasquale LGBT elder, advocate, activist by Jeff Taylor :: Social Media Editor Ed DePasquale’s life has gone through many fascinating phases. He realized he was gay at 23, while married. At 37, he and his wife separated, the divorce finalized at 41, and he decided he had to start living honestly. DePasquale has lived in Charlotte for nearly 60 years, via Albany, N.C. He spent time on the board of the Metrolina AIDS Project and was a co-founder of Carolina Celebration, a former gay fundraising organization. In addition to that work, he was a volunteer leader of Dignity, a pro-gay Catholic organization, which later disaffiliated with Dignity and became the indpendent Acceptance group in Charlotte, N.C. He also served as military police and a staff sergeant in the U.S. Air Force during the 1950s. In the following interview he reflects on life then and now. You say you were 23 when you found out what life was all about. Can you expound on that? That’s when I got my first involvement with my own sex, and kind of liked what was going on, so that’s what I started looking for. I had a wife who was expecting a baby any time, [and we also had] a three year old, and I just decided in the back of my mind that this was something I would have to put up with: being married. Because [my wife] didn’t ask for it, you know, for me to be gay. Of course, I didn’t ask for it either, but that’s the way it is. So I just hung in there. And then I was in my 30s and playing both sides of the street, so to speak, and had a guy tell me one night that I shouldn’t be married. He said, “You’re too gay to be married.” And my comment back was, I had children, it was my responsibility to see them grown and on their own. He said, “They won’t think any more of you or any less of you tomorrow.” So I put my ducks in a row, and about six months later sent the kids to Europe for a trip and on the way back from the airport told my ex-wife I was leaving. I moved out that day and haven’t been back since. I spent all my time fighting her in court, she got everything I had and then some. It was a very expensive proposition, but I’ll put it this way, it’s the happiest I’ve been since, ever since. I’ll stick to it no matter what. I tell anybody else, when they find out they are [gay], they need to wake up and realize it and move on with their lives. You have seen a lot of progress for the gay community over the years, but with legislation like HB2, we see that one must always stay vigilant. I wonder what your thoughts are on all that? Actually right now my attitude is this, the difference between what we’re going through today is nothing compared to what we were

going through in my day. When I was in my 20s, from the time I was 23 until I finally left home, I was living on both sides of the street…I was out trying to find someone to be with and it was very difficult. It was very difficult then because when you were down the street cruising, you had to be careful or the next person you talked to could be a cop looking to take your butt to jail and lock you up. I had one night [with an undercover police officer], we talked for about 20 minutes and he said, “I know what you’re looking for.” He said, “If I could get you to say anything, I’d put you in jail.” I said, “Well you got it all wrong, man, it ain’t no such thing,” and looked at him like he was crazy. He knew what he was talking about. But that was back in the days when the cops were picking people up off the street like crazy. We lived a rough life back then. Did you have friends who were arrested? Oh yes. Yes, yes, yes. I had one friend who was arrested, worked for a bank, was fired the next morning as soon as it came out that he was arrested. You know, it was entrapment by police, that’s exactly what they did. And of course, you’d be in a place you shouldn’t be, and they got you by the you-know-what and there is not much you can do about it. Just hope you can get out of it the best way you can. Hope you had a good lawyer for a friend that could help you out. Thanks to the Lord that I never got caught in such a way that I had to worry about that. What was the gay bar and club scene like back in the day in Charlotte? Let’s see, I’m trying to think of the first one. It was in an old gas station on North Tryon Street. And I remember I went in there one night and there was a young lady sitting in a booth with a couple other girls, and she saw me and she slid under a table so I wouldn’t see her. She knew I knew her family. She was scared to death somebody was going to tell them she was gay. But the gay bars, I’ve been to them throughout the years. I remember when Olean used to run The Brass Rail, which used to be on North Tryon and Morehead Street, and then it eventually moved down to Wilkinson Boulevard. But when Olean used to run it, I would go in frequently. It was one of my main haunts. And she tried her darndest to find out who I was and I tried my darndest to keep her from finding out who I was, because I was going in there looking for some action, and I usually scored… this was before I left home. What groups are you a member of today? I’m a member of Prime Timers. I’m a member of another group called The Old Farts. I’m a member of another group called The Queen City Supper Club. These are all gay groups… I’m lucky I can make it to the meetings. : :

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June 3-16 . 2016