QNotes, June 16, 2017

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Charlotte Pride by the numbers In-depth report on one of the largest LGBTQ organizations in the Queen City. page 10

qnotes news & features

news. views. arts.

9 entertainment.

Campus Pride hits deficit 10 Charlotte Pride by the Numbers 10 Pride Org Dumps Trump 11 March for Equality Recap 12 News Notes: Regional Briefs 13 News Notes: U.S./World Briefs 19 Alan Turing

a&e / life&style 14 15 16 18 19 21 23 24 26 27

Seniors and Federal Surveys Transitioning After Retirement Love and Healing Senior Resources Legal Eagles ‘Maurice’ Revival Tell Trinity Health & Wellness Q Events Calendar Our People: Joan Gale

‘Maurice’ film given revival

more news & features

Health & Wellness Doing a muscle up can bring real joy, pride to workout routines. page 24

Merchant/Ivory production brings 1980s story to a new generation. page 21

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HB2/HB142 Update

Campus Pride reports deficit as a result of HB2 Government travel bans cost org event attendance

by Maria Dominguez :: qnotes staff

academy, Camp Pride is meant to draw LGBTQ and ally youth to nurture their skills to be open, supportive activists.

In former years, the camp drew around 150 attendees, from students to professionals and volunteers. However, when HB2 passed, boycotts from other states and businesses began. This year, only 40 attendees are expected. Camp Pride organizers were blindsided, facing canceled registrations and massive financial loss. They knew why it was happening.

“A group of us from our community college…wanted to attend Camp Pride this summer,” one student from Mt. San Antonio College wrote to organizers. “The folks who came last year raved about it, and we’ve seen terrific strides on campus in the past year, but because we are in California, and state law AB 1887 prohibits state funded travel to North Carolina, we are unable to attend.”

The student went on to say that they would write to the governors of the states concerned.

But it isn’t just one group from one school. Windmeyer said that Campus Pride received a lot of messages like this.

“It was too late for us in the Spring to cancel or change things, and we were locked into UNC Charlotte for 3 years,” Windmeyer told qnotes. “All and all because of Camp Pride registrations being down and other Charlotte events we host like the college fair, we lost roughly $45,000 in revenue by the end of 2016.”

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CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Although the notorious House Bill 2 (HB2) is repealed and replaced by its problematic descendant, HB 142, legal discrimination against LGBTQ North Carolinians continues. One North-Carolina-based national LGBTQ advocacy organization is still suffering ramifications from the state’s notoriously discriminatory laws.

Campus Pride Executive Director Shane Windmeyer believes that because of HB2 and the protests it inspired, the organization’s financial situation has catastrophically declined.

Campus Pride is the only national organization for LGBTQ youth based in the South. For 16 years, Windmeyer’s organization has hosted Stop the Hate trainings, college fairs, transgender advocacy events, sports summits and more. It serves 1,400 colleges annually and reaches thousands of students across the country.

For the first time in its 16-year history, Campus Pride had to report a budget deficit for its 2016 fiscal year. The deficit amounts to almost $40,000. The organization’s biggest event, Camp Pride, was the hardest hit. A national summer leadership

Even with HB2 “repealed” and many corporate protestors returning their business to the state, laws forbidding government-funded travel to North Carolina remain in place. California, in particular, has a state-wide ban on all taxpayer-funded travel to any state with anti-LGBTQ laws. Though intended as a show of solidarity, Windmeyer says these laws have unintended repercussions.

“State colleges or any college funded with state money cannot come to events like Camp Pride happening in North Carolina, Kansas, Tennessee and a couple other states,” Windmeyer said. “Where is the sense in that?

You have a headache; do you chop off your head? No.” These questions have complex answers, but it all comes down to how such protests impact everyone — including the LGBTQ organizations right here in states with anti-LGBTQ laws. After 16 years of history working in one of the most challenging regions in the nation, now Campus Pride must consider relocating in order to continue their mission.

“Campus Pride has had a long-standing commitment to doing work where it is needed the most, in often difficult, isolated and conservative areas in the South,” Windmeyer said. “I would hope leaders in the movement would rally around us and want to see national organizations working (living and breathing) in places like Charlotte, N.C. It is very disconcerting as someone who hears daily that LGBTQ organizations need to be doing work in the South, but has not seen the resources follow from national funders.” : :

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qnotes connect June 16-29, 2017 Vol 32 No 04

arts. entertainment. news. views. goqnotes.com twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue

Amanda Cannavo, Maria Dominguez, Jack Kirven, Lainey Millen, Tim Nasson, Jeff Taylor, Lori Thomas, Trinity

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Community Watch

Charlotte Pride by the Numbers Inside the finances, programs and leadership one of the city’s largest LGBTQ non-profit

by Maria Dominguez :: qnotes staff

C

harlotte Pride 2016 saw record-breaking attendance, with the organization estimating 130,000 visitors over the course of the weekend. Not only did the celebration grow, but financial support for the organization and its projects has as well. One of North Carolina’s largest LGBTQ non-profits, Charlotte Pride’s financial reports reveal the organization’s skyrocketing success — but board members say that this is only the beginning.

“My hope is that our organization is able to successfully leverage our platform, our reach and our resources to ensure that we effectively make visible the lives, contributions and experiences of our LGBTQ+ community,” said Daniel Valdez, vice president of Charlotte Pride’s board of directors. “[I hope] we can expand and fully unlock the potential of our community in all aspects, from economic mobility, civic engagement, education, healthcare, to housing and all other intersectional issues that impact us all.”

This aim is illustrated in the nonprofit’s annual 990 form, posted to its website the same day it was approved by the IRS. In 2016, three of the organization’s programs grew alongside the best-known festival and parade: Trans Pride, Latin Pride and the GayCharlotte Film Festival, recently renamed “Reel Out Charlotte.”

“Charlotte Pride is essentially responsible for 100 percent of the funding of these programs,” notes Treasurer Richard Grimstad. “To the extent that we are unable to secure sponsorships or outside funding, the support for these programs comes from the programmatic reserves currently established, or reserves from Charlotte Pride’s Collaborative Programming Reserves, as well as any fundraising or event revenue generated by these program committees.”

These reserve funds amount to the majority of Charlotte Pride’s financial assets. The organization’s financial statements — posted on its site — itemize 2016 reserve and seed funds.

According to the net assets section of the statement, reserves amount to roughly $292,380. Seed funding, cash held for the early months of the year before sponsorship money begins to roll in, represents only $23,152. Compared to Charlotte Pride’s 2016 total assets worth $389,373, that means 81 percent of the organization’s total assets — and 96.2 percent of its $327,862 in cash — are on reserve.

That number makes more sense in light of the cost of the main event, the annual festival and parade. In 2016, the weekend-long celebration rated expenses totaling $372,124 and all programs — Charlotte Pride festival, parade, the film festival and both Trans and Latin Prides — generated only $268,278 in revenue. Corporate sponsorship and donations keep the organization stable and growing.

“Our corporate sponsors are our biggest donors,” Grimstad said, although the amounts each contributed are not published.

“We do not currently actively solicit contributions from individual donors through any type of campaign, thus we do not publicize any individual donors.”

Without donation solicitations, the organization relies on the event itself to generate funds for its programming. Though revenues — from beverage sales, for example — do not suffice to fund all of Charlotte Pride’s projects, the event is on a grand enough scale to attract a lot of corporate support.

“The annual festival and parade is essentially our largest, basically the only, fundraising event of the year for our organization,” said Grimstad. “[It] supports all of our other programming, including the film festival, Latin Pride, Trans Pride, etc.”

These programs do have their own funds, which are used at the discretion of program committees. At the end of 2016, Latin Pride had $4,387 in the bank, but Trans Pride had only $189 in funds saved. Why? “The Latin Pride Committee has conducted additional fundraising efforts to continue their work on an ongoing basis,”

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Grimstad explained. “Additional funds were allocated to Trans Pride (given that 2016 was the second year for the program and no grants were received)…Trans Pride has opted to allocate its funds to various projects and programs at this time but has not conducted any other event or fundraising activities.”

These projects are barely a blip on the screen of the umbrella organization’s financial assets and expenses. Besides the festival and parade, Charlotte Pride’s second-greatest expense is professional services: $18,060.

The money goes to consultants, payroll processing fees and other services. However, Grimstad notes, these expenses aren’t all paid in cash.

“A material portion of such fees were in-kind and were donated to the organization,” Grimstad said. “[They] do not necessarily reflect actual cash outlays or amounts that have been reported on an income tax basis.”

Grimstad and other board members have a long history with the organization. Valdez has served as vice president for one year.

Beginning in 2012, Grimstad was formerly a co-chair of development along with current-President Craig Hopkins.

Now, Grimstad has been treasurer and Hopkins president for two years. Kacey Grantham has been secretary for the past year. In 2017, three board members are stepping down: Gwen Pearson, Jeff Sampson and Marc Alexander. In their places, two new members have stepped up, Maurice Hemphill and Lee Robertson.

Charlotte Pride will only have nine board members in 2017 as opposed to 2016’s 10, but Valdez said the organization does not consider the last seat a vacancy and is not seeking another member. Along with the executive committee, Nan Bangs and Abdul Green are continuing their positions on the board, as well as Matt Comer. Comer, a former editor of qnotes, has been involved with Charlotte Pride since 2008 in various roles.

Though some programs are relatively young, Charlotte Pride’s newborn scholarship initiative represents its latest attempt to use the organization’s financial influence in order to affect change in the local LGBTQ community.

“We just launched our scholarship initiative and are very excited about being able to support our local LGBTQ+ students that are in college,” Valdez said. “We are also looking at innovative ways to give back our community and to partner with our community organizations in meaningful ways.”

Other community organizations do benefit from the success of Charlotte Pride, though there are limits to Pride’s ability to provide actual funding. Grimstad specified that the organization was never intended to be a fund distributor, but it is able to allocate money for purposes consistent with Charlotte Pride’s mission and programs.

“We set aside an amount annually to work with other local LGBTQ organizations to develop programming for the local community,” he said. “We have provided programmatic funding to Time Out Youth and Flourish, and a handful of other community organizations or initiatives on a regular/annual basis that have aligned with our mission and current programming.”

Though Pride has provided some support to the larger LGBTQ community, the board strives to do more. The past two years have seen public town halls and focus group sessions targeting key stakeholders in the community.

“There’s always room for improvement,” Valdez said, adding, “we have been very intentional about reaching out to our community, our partners and our sponsors through our strategic planning process to ensure that we are responsive to our stakeholders and their needs and concerns.”

Although Charlotte Pride has grown steadily throughout its history, board members say they are still striving to maintain the organization’s upward momentum. The city itself, Valdez emphasized, is to thank for a large part of Pride’s success.

“I feel like we haven’t come close to all that’s possible,” Valdez said. “I look forward to rising up to the challenge with the support of my amazing Charlotte community to make our city and our region a more welcoming and prosperous place for all.” : :

Charlotte Pride denies “Gays for Trump” float in annual parade Organization’s decision supported by existing policies and legal precedent

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — National news outlets and political commentators have latched onto the recent decision by Charlotte Pride organizers to deny the application for a group called “Gays for Trump” to have a float in the annual Charlotte Pride Parade in August. Though some express outrage, the decision is entirely supported by Charlotte Pride’s bylaws, and does not violate any local, state or federal laws.

“For a group of people to claim to want tolerance, acceptance, and give it to every single person you can imagine to give it to, for them to sit back and judge me for exercising my right as an American to choose my leader without judgment is hypocritical,” Gays for Trump member Brian Talbert, one of two individuals to apply for the float, told the local Fox news station.

Though Talbert is crying “discrimination,” — even raising money on GoFundMe for a lawsuit concerning the decision — Charlotte Pride organizers fully defend their right to deny the application.

“Charlotte Pride reserves the right to decline participation at our events to groups or organizations which do not reflect the mission, vision and values of our organization,” the organization said in a statement. “Charlotte Pride envisions a world in which LGBTQ people are affirmed, respected and included in the full social and civic life of their local communities, free from fear of any discrimination, rejection, and prejudice.”

In fact, Gays for Trump and its members have made headlines for controversial methods in the past. During their leader’s presidential campaign, one member who worked the group’s booth at NC Pride physically assaulted an anti-Trump protester. Only days after the presidential inauguration, the LGBTQ Rights page at WhiteHouse.gov disappeared.

The Trump administration also revoked protections for transgender students instituted under President Barack Obama.

Before the election, the Human Rights Campaign posted a list of Trump’s positions on LGBTQ issues. More recently, the president announced he will speak at the “Road to Majority” conference hosted by anti-LGBTQ group Faith and Freedom Coalition.

Considering all of their leader’s anti-LGBTQ decisions and executive appointments, Gays for Trump clearly “do not reflect the mission, vision and values” of Charlotte Pride. Further Beyond the parade organizers’ longstanding policies, the law does not support Talbert’s planned lawsuit, either.

“Charlotte and North Carolina do not ban discrimination by parade organizers based on political affiliation,” Eugene Volokh of The Washington Post notes. “Second, even if a public accommodation law did ban such discrimination, it couldn’t apply to parades organized by nongovernmental organizations.”

This point is supported by Supreme Court precedent. The highest court’s 1995 decision in Hurley v. Irish-American Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Group of Boston, Inc. affirmed that private parade organizers cannot be forced “to include among the marchers a group imparting a message the organizers do not wish to convey. We hold that such a mandate violates the First Amendment.”

Charlotte Pride has an undeniably long-established defense.

But, sure, go ahead with that lawsuit, Talbert. : : — Maria Dominguez

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news

Stepping Up

Charlotte’s Equality March contributes to national movement One of over 100 concurrent marches for pride and protest

by Maria Dominguez :: qnotes staff CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The local incarnation of the national Equality March for Unity and Pride movement took place on June 11 and consisted of hundreds upon hundreds of Charlotteans supporting minority rights. Washington, D.C.’s central Equality March amassed thousands of protestors from all across the country.

The event brought together countless LGBTQ Americans and their allies, but organizers said that the march wasn’t just for LGBTQ rights.

“We affirm and celebrate that we are a mix of diverse communities,” read the Facebook page for the event. “We will use the Equality March-Charlotte, along with our National and Sister marches, to give voice to our concerns, and to support, uplift, and bring attention to those in our communities who are targeted due to immigration status, ethnicity, religion, skin color, gender, sexual orientation, age and disability.”

Charlotte’s march traveled through Uptown, beginning in First Ward Park and traveling along Brevard St., 5th St., Caldwell St. and E 3rd St. Ending at Marshall Park, speakers waited to address the crowds and urge political action: Go Vote!

The Charlotte Observer noted several chants, comments and signs supporting progress and criticizing the Trump administration, which houses a number of anti-LGBTQ cabinet members.

“Heather Ferguson of Charlotte held a rainbow sign reading ‘Cuz Only Very Fragile Egos Fear Equality’,” Observer’s Jane Wester reported. “That spells ‘covfefe,’ the mysterious word the president used in a late night tweet – in case you’ve forgotten.”

Nationally, chants and signs were also used to illustrate the power of the people. In Washington, one viral chant declared: “We’re here, we’re queer, get that Cheeto out of here.” : :

Photo Credits: Art & Eye Photography Deonte’ D. Wilbourn of Beyond Deon Photography Tevin Baskerville of Baskerville Photography and Designs

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news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

Teen featured in film

RALEIGH, N.C. — Late in May, “Chasing Capri,” a documentary film by southern filmmaker Caleb Holland, was released and featured a Carolina transgender teen at the center of the storyline.

Capri Culpepper captured news headlines when she attempted to obtain her South Carolina driver’s license from the Department of Motor Vehicles. The catch was that she was denied a license based upon her appearance. She eventually triumphed.

The film has significant importance in today’s climate. It also captures the struggles currently facing the broader LGBTQ community in the south, including the infamous “bathroom bills” and the Orlando Pulse Nightclub shooting. The film explores the impact of North Carolina’s House Bill 2, highlighting the response of businesses and individuals across North Carolina including Lightning Bolt Ink in Asheville, N.C., Scuppernong Books in Greensboro, N.C., and 21C Museum Hotel in Durham, N.C. A series of screenings are planned across the South benefitting various LGBTQ charities.

Holland shared his motivation for creating the film by saying, “I grew up gay and afraid to be myself in the same town as Capri. I was drawn to her story because I recognized many of her struggles from my own journey. It’s important to me that as few young people as possible grow up as we did, expecting to have to leave their hometown in order to be accepted. I hope this film provides an opportunity for conversation and opens the doorway to cooperation between individuals of all different backgrounds.”

The film is available online via Vimeo for rent at $2.99 and for purchase at $7.99. info: chasingcapri.com.

Charlotte Equality exhibit begins

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — In its current run, Levine Museum of the New South, 200 E. Seventh St., is showcasing “Let Love Reign,” a visual representation of committed same-sex couples on the second-floor balcony.

The exhibition features photographs taken

by New York-based photographer and former Charlotte, N.C. resident, Catalina KulczarMarin. The project is a larger collaboration among people who believe in marriage equality.

“We value multiple perspectives at Levine Museum of the New South,” said Kathryn Hill, president and CEO. “Charlotte is a diverse community and we hope this exhibition will foster dialogue about the inequalities that LGBTQ community members face every day.”

The museum’s display consists of 14 medium and large-scale photos, all taken in Charlotte. The suite of photos includes four male and three female same-sex couples.

“Tim and Ron, the owners of Paper Skyscraper, were my inspiration and motivation for this project. They represent how I’ve always felt about love — that love is love; that

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love is blind,” said Kulczar-Marin. “They were the first couple I photographed, followed by six other couples in Charlotte. Now, I have interviewed and photographed 55 couples from all over the U.S.” The exhibition continues through Oct. 8. info: museumofthenewsouth.org.

TOY nets new matching gift

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Time Out Youth Center has announced that the Howard R. Levine Foundation/Howard & Julie Levine have made a matching gift challenge of $100,000 to the Center’s capital campaign.

The Levines chose to make a significant contribution after learning about the rise in LGBTQ youth accessing social services.

“I was impressed with how they are connecting with schools in our region, how they are managing their growth and finances, and how they are responding to increased demands for services from youth, parents and educators due to the controversy around HB2, and what that law meant to transgender youth,” Levine said.

He added, “This is a crucial time for our city and state to be embracing the diversity, the ideas and the leadership that young people

bring to our community. We are honored to be a small part of the center’s extraordinary efforts to serve, defend and protect our LGBTQ youth.”

The center is using June’s LGBTQ Pride Month designation to launch the matching challenge campaign. “This is a tremendous opportunity for the center,” said Executive Director Rodney Tucker.

“We are so grateful to receive this challenge from such a respected philanthropic family,” stated Michael Condel, Time Out Youth Center’s Board Chair. “Howard and Julie’s unwavering commitment to address social inequity issues in our community is an inspiration to our board, staff, youth, volunteers and donors.”

The campaign set out to raise $3.4 million over five years. However, Levine’s gift means it has crossed the halfway point in just three months. It follows a $100,000 contribution from Myers Park Baptist Church and a $1.5 million gift from Sara Belk Gambrell, a member of the Belk stores dynasty, The Charlotte Observer reported.

The center will open its new facility this summer at 3800 Monroe Rd. once renovations are complete.

Email Tucker at rtucker@timeoutyouth. org for more information or to contribute to the capital campaign.

In other news, Victoria Cornejo and Shawn Prout each received a $500 Tonda Taylor Scholarship at the center’s Gala held on June 2.

Cornejo, a graduate of Cabarrus-Kannapolis Early College High School, will use the funds to continue her studies at Winthrop University where she is studying social work.

Prout graduated from Northwest School of the Arts this year and is heading to Appalachian State University in the fall where he will study biology. info: timeoutyouth.org.

Chamber hits links

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce, along with the Latin, Asian and Black Chambers of Commerce will be front and center at the 2017 PGA Championship on Aug. 8, 11 a.m., at Quail Hollow Country Club located at 3700 Gleneagles Rd. The collaboration gives participants an opportunity to network, brunch and hear speakers from PGA of America, as well as elected officials.

Speakers and agenda are still being confirmed as of press time. Updates will be made available via Facebook.

Early reservations are encouraged as seating is limited. Chamber members can attend free of charge, while others will be charged $100 which includes a one-year membership to the Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce.

Visit bit.ly/2sM4NYO to reserve a spot. info: clgbtcc.org. bit.ly/2rvn4vo.

Dual plays slated

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — In a unique collaboration, playwright Steven Dietz has written two original and interconnected plays which will debut and run simultaneously at two theatres during their 2018-19 seasons.

Children’s Theatre of Charlotte and Actor’s Theatre of Charlotte will serve as the venues for “The Ghost of Splinter Cove” (Children’s Theatre) and “The Great Beyond” (Actor’s Theatre).

Both plays take place on different floors of a home on a single evening, one from the children’s point of view and one from the adults’. As a result, the theatres have named the endeavor “The Second-Story Project.” Two gay characters are featured in the storyline.

Each of the plays stands alone theatrically

and audiences do not necessarily need to see both, but the two plots are interconnected and surrounded by a shared mystery. Audiences will gain even more understanding about one play by watching the other.

“A dual commission on a single story or theme is rare — and certainly without precedent in my career,” Dietz said. “It offers a unique chance to have a multi-generational experience shared by interdependent audiences.”

Artistic Directors Adam Burke of Children’s Theatre and Chip Decker of Actor’s Theatre said the collaboration between a theatre for young audiences and a theatre for adults is an exciting opportunity to share with audiences an interweaving story with multiple viewpoints.

“By bringing in a fantastic playwright like Dietz who has written successfully for both young audiences and adults, we knew we’d have two masterfully connected plays,” Burke said.

Decker says the collaboration is unique, exciting and inspiring.

“We’re incredibly excited for this partnership between two of the Queen City’s cultural crown jewels,” Decker said. “The simultaneous world premieres are sure to be an event unlike anything Charlotte has seen before!” info: ctcharlotte.org. atcharlotte.org.

Triad Theatre opens auditions

WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. — Winston-Salem Theatre Alliance, 1047 W. Northwest Blvd., is holding “mega auditions” on June 24 at 8 a.m. for its fall 2017 productions.

The three productions are: “Pricilla: Queen of the Desert, The Musical” (October), “Becky’s New Car” (November) and “Welcome to Virginia” (December). “Virginia” marks the world premiere of the new musical by WXII’s Cameron Kent.

Throughout the day, hopefuls will sing, dance and read for a variety of parts, if applicable to the parts being cast. “Becky’s” is not a musical and may not require one to dance during the day’s process.

Information on show dates and parts, as well as audition sign ups are available online.

Additional call backs will be held on June 25 if needed and cast lists will be posted on July 2. info: wstheatrealliance.org.

Triangle Spano holds reading

RALEIGH, N.C. — Writer Mark Spano will read from his award-winning novel “Midland Club” on June 25, 1 p.m., at the LGBT Community Center of Raleigh, 324 S. Harrington St., as part of the center’s 2017 Sizzling Summer “Meet the Author” Series.

Following the reading, Spano will sign copies of his book.

Set in a midwestern city in 1958, “Midland Club” addresses the pain of one gay man, alone in a town that despises him.

The book is published by Thunderfoot Press and received a Pinnacle Book Achievement Award from the National Association of Book Entrepreneurs, one of only two books honored for Winter 2017 in the Mystery category.

Spano resides in Chapel Hill, N.C. Besides writing, he spends time as a filmmaker.

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Gospel takes to the stage

RALEIGH, N.C — The Gospel Drag and Talent Show will be held on June 23, 7 p.m., at St. John’s Metropolitan Community Church, 622 Maywood Ave. The event is a fundraiser for the LGBT Center of Raleigh with 100 percent of proceeds going to toward programming at the center.

To perform in the show or for general information, email Vance Haywood at vanceh@ stjohnsmcc.org.

Each performer may have as many as two acts. All musical selections and other acts should promote love, diversity, inclusion, unity and pride.

While Gospel numbers are encouraged, other musical or talent selections are also appropriate. info: stjohnsmcc.org.

SAGE set for 4th celebration

CARY, N.C. — SAGE Raleigh will hold its annual 4th of July cookout and potluck on July 4, 1:30 p.m., at Umstead State Park - Reedy Creek, Shelter #2, 1800 N. Harrison Ave. Look for the SAGE banner to locate the group.

The organization will provide hamburgers, hotdogs, brats and more, along with condiments, utensils, paper plates and soft drinks.

Participants are asked to bring a salad, side dish or dessert to share.

Weather pending, outdoor games will be on hand to keep the day fun-filled.

RSVP to Les Geller at lgeller@lgbtcenterof raleigh.com. info: lgbtcenterofraleigh.com.

Western Senior lez orgs host picnic

ARDEN, N.C. — The Asheville Lesbian Seniors Google Group and Older Lesbian EnergyAsheville are holding a picnic on July 22, 11:30 a.m., at Lake Julian Park, 406 Overlook Rd. Ext. Organizers will bring sliced ham, rolls, paper goods and plasticware.

Participants are asked to bring side dishes and beverages.

The park has options for boating, fishing, outdoor games, walking and hiking. info/rsvp: sandralfrith@gmail.com. mhfite@ bellsouth.net.

South Carolina Pride weekend activities revealed

MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. — The 2017 Grand Strand Pride celebration will be held from Aug. 24-27 at various locations, the organizers shared.

news notes: u.s./world compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

ABC digs deeper into the Pulse shootings

On Aug. 24, 6 p.m., participants can enjoy a game of Pelicans baseball with Myrtle Beach hosting Kinston, N.C. in nine-inning play. Along with the game, have fun at Picnic at the Park and Thirsty Thursday.

The following day, meet with friends at the Grand Strand Pride Friday Happy Hour at 6 p.m. and an after party at 10 p.m. at locations to be announced at a later date.

The Grand Strand Pride Business Expo and Gala will take place on Aug. 26 in the ballroom at the Marina Inn at Grand Dunes during the day. A free cash bar Expo happy hour takes place afterward at 4 p.m. At 7 p.m., the event’s Gala will occur with dinner, live band, dancing and more.

Keynote speaker will be Jim Obergefell, the plaintiff in the landmark Supreme Court marriage equality case.

Tickets are $60 and are available online.

A Wrap-Up Sunday Brunch and sacred reflection will round out the celebration from 10 a.m.-12 p.m. at a location to be determined which was not available at press time.

Expo exhibition packages are still being accepted. Sponsorship includes membership in the

The Gay Christian Network is featuring different weekly Pride Month devotionals throughout June. info: gaychristian.net.

Southerners on New Ground will hold its Gaycation 2017 from July 13-16 at Camp Tanglewood in Augusta, Ga. info: southernersonnewground.org.

Equality Florida called on supporters across the globe to remember the 49 lives lost at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Fla. by donating to their #HonorThemWithAction GoFundMe. info: eqfl.org.

cre. Even more, it gave viewers a painful look at what transpired in the early minutes and hours of the tragedy.

The shooting’s footage showed the ravages and how law enforcement and others stepped up to bring an end to the situation. Police commented that they were heartbroken at what transpired.

“I was very proud of the police response, but still, you know, this person went in and killed 49 of our community members,” Police Chief John Mina said. “And so as a community we were devastated.”

The episode can be viewed at abc. tv/2sPOM4O. Across the U.S. and the globe, organizations and groups have paid homage to the victims of the shootings on the one-year anniversary with memorials, remembrances and other shows of respect and honor for the 49 who lost their lives. info: abc.com.

Club starts community programming

GREENVILLE, S.C. — In collaboration with Upstate Pride SC and Takeover Upstate, Blu Martini Bar & Nightclub, 1 College St., is now dedicating Wednesday nights to its LGBTQ patrons with its Pride & Out event series from 8 p.m.-2 a.m.

“Not everyone in the Pride community is a night owl or a bar hopper or a dancer, and that’s usually what LGBT-exclusive spaces are,” Upstate Pride SC Board Member Nicole Rodzen said. “We want to change that with Pride & Out. Activities start when the club doors open at 8 and last about two hours. Then the dance floor opens up. This way, we hope everyone can enjoy themselves.”

Participants can enjoy drink specials, DJs and more. Programming will vary from week to week. Clubgoers can expect to see anything from speed dating and networking to karaoke and comedy nights.

“Blu is very open to diversity and always has been,” bar owner Omar Naji said. “There

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QUICK HITS ——————————————————————————————

Queerty reported that the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has approved a generic drug version of Gilead’s antiretroviral Truvada. info: queerty.com.

NEW YORK, N.Y. — On the May 31 “Nightline” special edition, “Inside the Pulse Nightclub Terror,” ABC News’ Chief Investigative Correspondent Brian Ross took viewers inside the Pulse nightclub massacre.

New body-camera footage and exclusive interviews with police and first responders revealed how the night unfolded, from the siege to the negotiation with gunman Omar Mateen to the moments when police stormed the club and rescued survivors, the network reported.

Using body cameras, Orlando, Fla. police stepped inside the club documenting what they saw there in the course of their first-responder team efforts. And, on May 31, 11 hours of footage was released. It depicted a scene that was filled with chaos and carnage. First responders and survivors told ABC News that the memories of the night, along with the emotions it stirred in them, were still raw.

Tapes provided a look at the terror of those who were at Pulse the evening of the massa-

Coastal Business Guild through September 2018. info: grandstrandpride.com.

Photo Credit: ACLU

The event is free and open to the public. info: lgbtcenterofraleigh.com.

news

The Navy has recognized Pride Month throughout June. info: navy.mil.

GLAD will hold its 36th Annual Summer Party on July 29 in Provincetown, Mass. info: glad.org.

In celebration of Pride Month, Miley Cyrus released her new song “Inspired.” She will be making a contribution to the Happy Hippie Foundation in honor of the single, with a vision of unity that overcomes division as well as a passionate call-to-action for young people to engage in their communities and help create social change, her publicist shared. info: mileycyrus.com.

Atlanta, Ga. has its first openly gay police chief, Erika Shields, the Georgia Voice reported. info: gavoice.com.

In a guest column for The Hollywood Reporter, Jay Duplass discussed how his onscreen transgender romance in “Transparent”

changed his life. info: hollywoodreporter.com.

Transgender adults in the U.S. are more likely than cisgender adults to report poor health and lack of health insurance coverage, a new study co-authored by Williams Institute scholars found. info: williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu.

The Village Voice announced the first honorees of the inaugural celebration of The Village Voice Pride Awards slated for June 21 in New York City, N.Y. Honorees include Edie Windsor, Gavin Grimm, Tyler Ford and the Ali Forney Center. info: villagevoice.com.

A commemoration of journalists who died of AIDS, and others who covered the epidemic, highlighted by a keynote speech from a journalist from The New York Times, will take place on June 23. info: publicimpactpr.com.

Oregon passed a transgender birth certificate bill which provides for public shielding to maintain privacy. info: equalityfederation.org.

Malaysia has opened a contest for antiLGBTQ videos. info: lgbtqnation.com.

Dick and Sharon’s “LA Progressive” published a story, “When a Pride March Means Owning the Shame of Racial and Economic Justice.” info: laprogressive.com.

Marriage equality has paved the way for LGBTQ homeownership according to findings from the 2017 National Association of Gay and Lesbian Real Estate Professionals Homeownership Survey. info: naglrep.com.

June 16-29 . 2017

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Gay & Gray: LGBTQ Seniors

Update: LGBTQ seniors and federal surveys Advocates critique omissions and deletions from government analyses

by Maria Dominguez :: qnotes staff

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administrations, like this one, from pursuing policies that could “It is estimated that 2.4 million LGBT older adults over 50 ithin the first few months of the Trump administration, harm the LGBTQ community.” live in the United States,” said Dr. Ilan Meyer, Williams Institute the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services A true illustration of such policies can be found right here at distinguished senior scholar of Public Policy. “That number is (HHS) gave a subtle wound to the American LGBTQ home; North Carolina’s infamous House Bill 2 (HB2) is just one expected to double by 2030.” community. Two HHS nationwide surveys — the “National example cited by advocates like Laura Durso, senior director of Progressive politicians have recently made an effort to Survey of Older Americans Act Participants” and the “Annual the LGBT Research and Communications Project at the Center address the lack of concrete data on LGBTQ populations. The Program Performance Report for Centers for Independent Living” for American Progress.

LGBT Data Inclusion Act introduced in 2016 and later shelved in — removed questions identifying respondents’ sexual orientation “We’re fighting over LGBT rights on a daily basis,” and gender identity.

Laura Durso told The Daily Beast. “North Carolina’s Both surveys are vital for the senior HB2 is a bill that discriminates against LGBT people. community, and erasing LGBTQ idenIt’s not OK that I can’t tell you exactly how many LGBT tity questions makes it much harder to people there are in North Carolina.” determine how well current legislation and A Williams Institute study by Dr. Meyer and Soon programs are serving the population.

Kyu Choi makes a strong point regarding the necessity “[That makes] it impossible to asof data on LGBTQ Americans’ healthcare. sess whether key programs for seniors “The needs of older LGBT adults are quite different and people with disabilities are meetthan those of the non-LGBT population,” authors wrote. ing the needs of LGBT Americans,” “LGBT older adults are sometimes apprehensive of how wrote a research team from the Center they’ll be treated by healthcare providers or in senior for American Progress. “By removing care facilities. We need to ensure that LGBT seniors will this data, the Department of Health and receive sensitive and effective care wherever they go.”

Human Services and Secretary Price risk Policy attorney Heron Greenesmith analyzed erasing the experiences of LGBT seniors “Understanding Issues Facing LGBT Older Adults,” and people with disabilities and making a report released in a collaboration between the it impossible for HHS to identify and end Movement Advancement Project and Services & disparities and discrimination in taxpayerAdvocacy for GLBT Elders (SAGE), for The Huffington funded programs.”

Post. The report named several key problems and sugThe National Survey has featured gested policy changes to address them.

LGBTQ questions since 2014, an Obama“Health and wellbeing, economic security, and era addition. Released every year, the social connections are among the cornerstones for nationwide data collected regards social successful aging,” wrote Greenesmith. “Yet these are support and nutrition programs under the areas in which many LGBT elders face substantial barOlder Americans Act (OAA). riers — stemming from current discrimination as well In fact, since the federal Census colas the accumulation of a lifetime of legal and structural lected every decade fails to record LGBTQ discrimination, social stigma, and isolation.” populations, exact figures related to the The recommended policy changes included providcommunity do not exist at all. However, ing equal help to LGBTQ veterans and expanding nonestimates can be of some value. discrimination protections both federally and in private The Williams’ Institute of the University LGBTQ seniors have already felt isolated and alone in healthcare facilities. Now with the removal of senior housing. The report also recommended ensuring of California, Los Angeles performed a 2011 LGBTQ identification from U.S. surveys, the matter could worsen, with no way to track the statistics. that government programs recognize same-sex famisurvey, concluding that 3.8 percent of U.S. Photo Credit: pololia via Adobe Stock lies, and that the government designate LGBTQ seniors adults identify as LGBTQ. A 2012 Gallup as an underserved population to be targeted for HHS services.

Congress would have required the federal government to collect poll’s results were similar, estimating 3.4 percent of the United “Being seen really matters when we’re talking about trying data on the sexual orientation and gender identity of citizens.

States’ [2017 estimate 325 million, per U.S. Census Bureau] to reduce stigma against LGBT communities,” said Durso. “It is “To go uncounted in our society is to be unseen by our population. More recently, a 2014 National Health Survey from meaningful that the federal government steps up and says [that] policymakers,” read a statement by the bill’s main sponsor, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention — though only we recognize the LGBT community as a community, and as a Rep. Raul Grijalva. “Enshrining in law the vital right of this discussing sexual orientation, not gender identity — found 2.3 community with needs, resiliences, and contributions.” : : demographic to be counted would have prevented future percent of American adults were LGB.

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life

Gay & Gray: LGBTQ Seniors

Transitioning after retirement The struggles and triumphs of transgender seniors

by Lori Thomas :: guest contributor

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ynthia* is a loving parent, a decorated military veteran and a transgender woman. Born and raised as Mike*, she knew at age eight that she was born into the wrong body. Seeing no way to be her true self, Cynthia lived out the first several decades of her life as a man, becoming a father to three children and taking on many traditionally male roles. She eventually enlisted in the military where she served multiple tours of duty and received a Purple Heart after being wounded in combat.

Struggling with her gender identity and PTSD from her military service, she felt lost for much of her life and even became suicidal. She finally decided in her retirement to become the person she always wanted to be and began her transition in 2015. Along her journey, Cynthia has faced and overcome many challenges, some of which are unique to those who transition later in life.

The struggle for acceptance and safety among the transgender community has finally reached the national conversation. Individuals in this community have long been left to live in the shadows, facing discrimination in employment and housing, being rejected by their families and peer groups and at times even dealing with rampant violence. There is clearly much work left to be done, as some states are still seeking to create legal and systemic barriers to equality for transgender people.

Those like Cynthia, who are transitioning as older adults, face a unique set of obstacles. In addition to the aforementioned challenges that most, if not all, transgender individuals face, seniors in this group often have to deal with additional social and family difficulties, limitations in availability of senior housing, and a number of health-related challenges that are rarely discussed.

The transgender senior housing crisis Another serious challenge faced by transgender seniors is discrimination in and lack of availability of senior housing. According to a study on transequality.org, there are a couple of primary reasons for this shortfall. First, there is little to no outreach to LGBT communities in elder care.

Second, there is little professional training among agingcare providers on the unique needs of the LGBTQ senior community.

In nursing homes and assisted living communities, room assignments and bathroom facilities are often serious issues for transgender residents. Because there is currently no regulation at the national level in place for senior housing facilities, the providers themselves are typically left to determine how their transgender residents are cared for. Often, gendersegregated facilities are unwilling to accommodate these individuals, and leave them in unacceptable living conditions or drive them away altogether.

Although Cynthia currently lives in a friendly, independent retirement community with neighbors who accept her, she expressed fears about when she may need to move into assisted living. “If I end up needing assisted living or nursing care when I’m older, I don’t know if they’ll force me to share a room with a man. If I have to pay for a private room, I don’t think I’ll be able to afford it.”

To address this crisis, SAGE launched the National LGBT Elder Housing Initiative. This program offers many solutions to the transgender senior housing crisis, including: 1) building LGBTQ-friendly elder care communities; 2) training existing senior communities to provide housing in a LGBTQ-welcoming, non-discriminatory manner; 3) lobbying for improvements in public policy relating to senior care; 4) educating LGBTQ seniors on their rights and how to locate accommodating senior living facilities; and 5) expanding LGBTQ-friendly services available in housing sites across the country. Ultimately, expanding such programs that incorporate solutions from both private industry, as well as public policy, are needed resolve the transgender senior housing crisis.

Cynthia post-transition (above) and as Mike during military service (right).

Isolation and social stigma in senior transgender people Older transgender adults often live in isolation and without the social support they want and need. There is generally less acceptance of the transgender community among older generations, which can make it very difficult to find a supportive community within the senior demographic. According to the Williams Institute at the University of California, Los Angeles Law School, 14 percent of those identifying as transgender are over the age of 65. Still, social and community support groups for these individuals can be scarce, particularly outside of large metropolitan areas. Living in a small town, Cynthia says that because there are not many resources for transgender people, and she doesn’t generally feel comfortable in senior community groups, she has to rely on support and social interaction from neighbors who may or may not be accepting of her.

Family relationships can be the most difficult to solidify while transitioning as an older adult. There can be challenges when families have to consider modifying deeply established roles, such as father, mother, grandfather or grandmother. A 2004 study by the Williams Institute outlined several stages a family may go through in a “period of adjustment” when a parent comes out as transgender to their family including disclosure, turmoil, negotiation and balance. It can take a while for families

who have well-established roles for years to adapt to a new normalcy. “It’s hard to erase several decades of family members knowing you as a certain way, and then showing them a new you,” says Cynthia.

Finding acceptance among friends does not come easy either. Cynthia lost a lot of long-time friends while transitioning. Some who knew her as Mike in the military didn’t know how to process her new identity and rejected her outright. But she says that although it was difficult to lose these friends, it puts her current relationships into perspective. “Now I focus on the quality of my friendships, not the quantity of friends I have. The friends I make now generally love me for my true self.”

Fortunately, there are programs emerging to help combat the issue of isolation in the senior transgender community. Groups such as Lavender Seniors and Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders (SAGE) perform outreach to elder members of the transgender community and provide a safe and welcoming place for them to socialize and find support. The reach of these programs remains limited, though, and tends to be concentrated in more progressive large cities.

Health concerns for elder transgender adults Older transgender adults can also have frequent complications when it comes to obtaining healthcare and maintaining good health. According to transequality.org, “there are clear health implications for transgender older adults who do not feel safe accessing healthcare providers: delayed care can mean that preventable illnesses are not identified and diagnosed in time, health complications worsen and the costs for care increase, among other consequences.”

Research by the U.S. Transgender Survey has shown that those who do seek medical help are often met with providers who are poorly educated on transgender health issues. Many even report facing harassment, ridicule and rough treatment by medical professionals, or have been refused treatment altogether. Cynthia says she has been fortunate to work with caring doctors, but issues have still arisen around her privacy in the doctor’s office due to lack of training and awareness.

“In waiting rooms at doctor’s offices, I’ve been called by my birth name in front of other patients. It can be an embarrassing dilemma and potentially an unsafe situation when you’re called Mike but look like a Cynthia.”

Another health challenge that transgender seniors can experience is the stress that hormones and other medications used while

see Senior on 17

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15

Gay & Gray: LGBTQ Seniors

Love and healing: Cyteria Knight recovers from stroke Partner Susan Miller: she’s a ‘thriver,’ not ‘survivor’

by Maria Dominguez :: qnotes staff

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“I am fearful and frustrated,” Miller ogether for 35 years, truly through sickadmitted. “We worked within the sysness and in health, Cyteria Knight, 60, tem as child protective services social and Susan Miller, 58, have seen more workers. We try to be patient and unthan their share of challenges. Knight’s stroke derstanding…We have been told that early this year initiated a long journey toward her Medicaid and Social Security are recovery, and even more trials with mounting contingent upon each other and the medical bills and ineffectual bureaucratic process can take up to seven months.” “aid” programs.

Though their daughter, Raquanza, In spite of it all, this couple’s love and had paid out of pocket for some support for one another uplifts them without prescription medications, Knight and fail. They have also found that their lifetimes Miller have no way to address their of kindness to others and careers in social ever-increasing medical debts without work inspired their community to aid them the help of Medicaid. They cannot in their time of crisis. even afford to get the eyeglasses that “I do not know how other people Knight needs after the stroke damaged manage without the help we have been so her sight. blessed to receive,” Miller told qnotes.

Miller set up a GoFundMe page, Readers first met Knight and Miller which has raised a little more than a shortly after they moved to the Carolinas fourth of their goal. She also chronRehabilitation Center, following a month icles her partner’s recovery on their in the ICU and a transfer to the neurology CaringBridge site, writing updates as ward (see “Lesbian couple rallies after serithe situation progresses. ous illness,” goqnotes.com/50051). Now, the “We are learning so much and couple have a small apartment close to the really value the support,” she wrote hospital, where Miller’s father paid a year’s in a June 1 update. “[Cyteria] has split rent — a huge surprise to the couple. vision in both eyes which results in her “My father likes Cyteria but doesn’t seeing only half of everything… She is want to like her, because she has the managing to walk with a cane although nerve to be African-American and my life she tires easily. We walk the Little partner,” Miller explained in an earlier interSugar Creek Greenway and really apview. “He’s incredibly conservative…you preciate the benches along the way.” just can’t make sense of it. It’s wonderful.”

Aside from any financial support, “Thankfully that is taken care of for Knight and Miller say that there are now,” Knight said. “I am so amazed that we equally important ways for supporters have received so much help from family, to show that they care. friends, and even people we don’t know, “Please send encouraging cards and I am so grateful!” to Cyteria Knight, 1030 Edgehill Rd. Though one major bill was paid, S., Apt. 111, Charlotte, NC 28207. She financial struggles have not ceased. The would love to get mail besides medical couple had nothing to put in their new bills!” Miller said. And to thank an home, and slept on a leaking airbed for invaluable supporter, the couple hopes quite a while. Then, friendly supporters “for someone to plant a garden for our donated a queen bed, furniture and even a dear friend, Samis Rose.” new desktop computer.

Personal friends and supportive Despite these incredible shows of individuals have played a large part, as support from an entire community, there have professionals from the Carolinas is a long road ahead. Nevertheless, Miller Medical community. Several staffand Knight are optimistic and remain happy, ers there reached out to the couple, together, handling each hurdle as it comes. inviting them to a traumatic brain injury “Our faith in God, the power of positive support group and even encouraging thinking” are the keys, Miller said, adding, them to found their own focused on “the support of loving family and friends aneurysm recovery. (some of whom we have not seen for nearly “We have been inspired by Dr. 15 years!) the Carolinas Medical ‘family’ Jacobs, chief trauma surgeon who and our dear little service dog, Halo.” is a ‘thriver’ himself,” Miller said.

Halo has become a major source of “We are participating in a Gratitude comfort and safety for the couple. On top Research Study as well as a storytellof providing emotional aid, service dogs ing documentary for CaringBridge. We are highly trained to perform tasks for Cyteria Knight is gaining strength and spends time walking along the Little Sugar Creek Greenway. are learning to take things one day at a those with disabilities. Some dogs can even time and ask for and receive help.” warn their humans of impending seizures.

“Susan and I cannot work now so we have no income,” All the couple’s supporters are invited to a Nov. 4 celebration For Knight, merely walking Halo is one more motivation to be Knight explained. “My medical bills are mounting and I have that they’ve entitled “Cyteria’s Rocking Recovery Rumpus!” Their physically active and recover her strength. to have another surgery. We cannot pay for follow-up medical gratitude for their community is matched only by how grateful Knight struggles with some remaining effects of her stroke: appointments. We cannot pay for my eye exam and glasses as Knight and Miller are for each other. peripheral vision impairment, balance, fatigue and memory prescribed.”

“A room doesn’t seem complete without Susan’s presence loss. Another aneurysm lurks in her brain, which doctors want The issue is exacerbated by the foot-dragging timelines of there,” Knight told qnotes in March. Now, she’s as certain as to address with further surgery. Miller and Knight are anxious the government programs meant to help people in these situaever that they can thrive through anything together: to respond to this threat, but financial concerns have stalled tions. Knight’s Medicaid and Social Security benefits have been “These challenges have strengthened our relationship.”: : their plan. excruciatingly slow in coming.

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life

Senior transition continued from page 15

❝ If I end up needing assisted living or nursing care when I’m older, I don’t know if they’ll force me to share a room with a man. If I have to pay for a private room, I don’t think I’ll be able to afford it. ❞ — Cynthia transitioning can put on their bodies. Though studies have shown that hormone therapy for transgender people is generally safe, the amount of medications is very different for more mature individuals and can cause kidney and liver problems if not properly managed.

Cynthia has experienced a lot of side effects from her medication that she attributes to her age. “If I were younger, I wouldn’t have to stay on these medications as long. As a mature transgender person, I have to regularly consult with my doctors to monitor my liver and kidney panels to make sure my levels are ok.”

To help improve upon this situation, Jennifer Brock-Garcia, a psychiatric/mental health nurse practitioner specializing in transgender health, recommends a shift in healthcare education to help support transgender individuals. She states “there seems to be a lack of understanding and compassion in the medical field surrounding transgender patients. Physicians and other healthcare providers need (better) training about the medical and social aspects of transgender health. Ideally, this education should be a standard part of medical, nursing and physician assistant education programs.”

Transgender seniors are making progress Though there is clearly still much work left to be done for transgender equality and acceptance, significant strides have been made in recent years. Celebrities like Laverne Cox and Caitlyn

Jenner, as well as the hit TV shows “Orange is the New Black” and “Transparent,” have shed light on transgender issues and brought them into the mainstream cultural conversation. Jenner’s highprofile case has also empowered many older people to transition later in life. Cynthia tells us “I had just decided it was too late for me, but when [Caitlyn] came out in her 60s, I decided there was nothing holding me back except for my own fear.”

Additionally, legislative strides have been made in cities across the nation. Though some states like North Carolina and Texas have attempted or succeeded in creating discriminatory legal barriers, hundreds of municipalities have instituted laws that protect transgender people from harassment and employment discrimination. Some cities, like Austin, Texas, have even passed gender-neutral bathroom bills to accommodate and protect non gender conforming individuals.

Brock-Garcia says that one word which defines all transgender people is “courage,” and Cynthia is certainly no exception.

She displayed this courage throughout her career, frequently putting herself in harm’s way in defense of her country and her fellow soldiers. This bravery guided her to transition into the person she wanted to be and to reveal her transformation to her friends and family, and now it enables her to meet the daily challenges that transgender people face.

Looking back now, Cynthia says she is very happy with the timing of her transition and even feels like there are some

advantages to transitioning later in life. She feels confident because she is more financially stable now and can better afford her medications, new wardrobe, future surgeries and the many other costs associated with transitioning. Also, because she is retired, she doesn’t have to worry about what she calls “awkward workplace situations” with intolerant employers or coworkers. In fact, the National Transgender Discrimination Survey states that 70 percent of transgender adults age 65 and older reported having delayed gender transition to avoid discrimination in employment.

Cynthia loves her new life as a woman and has found that by and large, people are more accepting of her than she thought they would be. While she spent many years struggling with her identity, she has no regrets and is thrilled to be living her true self in her golden years. “I think I transitioned at the time I was supposed to transition. I’ve already been a son, a protector, a provider and a soldier, and now I can just be the woman I am meant to be.” : : * Names have been changed for the confidentiality of the subject.

— Lori Thomas is associate editor for Senior Advice (senioradvice.com) and has over a decade of writing experience in the health, legal and consulting industries.

She has a B.S. in Human and Organizational Development from Vanderbilt University.

This story was reprinted with permission.

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Gay & Gray: LGBTQ Seniors

Reducing the challenges of aging Resources for LGBTQ seniors, family and caregivers compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

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ll across the Carolinas and the U.S., LGBTQ “gay and gray” elders seek out valuable resources and tips to make their lives more comfortable and easier to navigate.

See the listings below to make research efforts more streamline and to provide options for cruising into the senior years.

Social North Carolina Prime Timers of Asheville ashevilleprimetimers.com.

Prime Timers of Charlotte primetimersww.com/charlotte.

Senior’s Social Group northstarlgbtcc.com.

RDU Prime Timers meetup.com/rdu-pt.

South Carolina Charleston, S.C. Prime Timers primetimersww.net/charlestonsc.

Columbia, SC Prime Timers primetimersww.org/columbiasc.

Prime Times of Myrtle Beach primetimersww.com/primetimersmb.

Support Carolinas A.S.P.I.R.E. (A Sacred Place Inviting Realistic Experience) Provides community support for individuals from marginalized populations. aspirecarolina.org.

Alzheimer’s Association/Western North Carolina Provides patient and family services, information and referral, education and advocacy in the 49 western North Carolina counties, serving over 100,000 people living with Alzheimer’s disease.

alz.org/northcarolina.

National

Centralina Area Agency on Aging Supporting aging adults with choice, dignity and independence. centralina.org/centralinaaging/services-in-area.

All About Seniors Comprehensive resource and referral directory available for older adults, caregivers and healthcare professionals. allaboutseniors.org.

Elder Law Clinic at Wake Forest University Provides free legal services to the community in Forsyth and surrounding counties. elder-clinic.law.wfu.edu.

Gay_ARP Focuses on social events for AARP-aged members of the LGBTQ community. harriethancockcenter.org/gayarp.

Just 1 Call Information and assistance for seniors and adults with disabilities living in Mecklenburg County, N.C., as well as their families and professional caregivers. bit.ly/2s5Z6aX. LGBTQ Elder Advocates of Western North Carolina Local grassroots organization founded to address the aging issues and concerns of the LGBTQ community through Land of The Sky Council. lgbtelderadvocatesofwnc.org.

North Carolina Division of Aging and Adult Services Works to promote independence and enhance the dignity of North Carolina’s older adults, persons with disabilities, and their families through services, benefits, and protections; to ready younger generations to enjoy their later years; and to help prepare for the changing demographics. ncdhhs.gov/divisions/daas.

SAGE Raleigh Raleigh, N.C. bit.ly/2s5XNZI. SAGE Wilmington of the Cape Fear Coast Wilmington, N.C. thefrankharrfoundation.com/sage-wilmington.

American Association of Retired People (AARP) / LGBT Pride Inclusive resources for LGBTQ seniors, as well as regular AARP member services options. aarp.org/home-family/voices/lgbt-pride.

Eldercare Locator Public service of the U.S. Administration on Aging to find assistance on a number of issues. eldercare.gov.

Family Caregiver Alliance (FCA) LGBT Caring Community Online Support Group Online support for LGBTQ caregivers of adults with chronic health problems. caregiver.org.

FORGE/Transgender Aging Network (TAN) An initiative of FORGE (national transgender anti-violence organization) which works to improve the lives of current and future transgender/SOFFA (significant others, friends, family and allies) elders. forge-forward.org/aging.

GRIOT (Gay Reunion In Our Time) Grassroots organization which addresses the needs of LGBTQ seniors, especially people of color. griotcircle.org.

LGBT Aging Resources Clearinghouse of the American Society on Aging (ASA) Provides information for people ages 50plus. asaging.org.

LGBT Cultural Competency Training Provides a suite of in-person and online trainings for all levels of staff and volunteers to assist in the best ways to create an inclusive, safe, and welcoming environment for the

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LGBTQ older adult population. lgbtagingcenter.org/resources/website.cfm National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Foundation Works toward protecting the needs of LGBTQ elders. thetaskforce.org/issues/aging.

LGBT+ National Aging Research Center Resources and studies pertaining to LGBTQ seniors, including health, aging, and others. age-pride.org.

Old Lesbians Organizing for Change (OLOC) Network of lesbians over the age of 60 working to make life better for their members and by confronting ageism. oloc.org.

The National Resource Center on LGBT Aging Technical assistance resource center aimed at improving the quality of services and supports offered to LGBTQ older adults.

Established through a federal grant from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Provides training, technical assistance and educational resources to aging services providers, LGBTQ organizations and LGBTQ older adults. lgbtagingcenter.org.

Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders (SAGE) Organization dedicated to improving the lives of LGBTQ older adults. sageusa.org.

SAGE National LGBT Elder Hotline Resource for LGBTQ older adults and their allies to find support and services. sageusa.org/programs/hotline.cfm.

[Editor’s Note: qnotes’ research into finding senior resources was only as good as what was available online and from other sources. Should readers find errors and wish to send corrections to the list or want to have a group or service listed, email qnotes with “Senior addition” in the subject line to editor@goqnotes.com. qnotes wants to make these listings as accurate as possible to maintain integrity of the information provided.]

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life

In Memoriam

Pride pioneer and scientist Alan Turing Brilliant mind and gay icon, persecuted and redeemed

by Maria Dominguez :: qnotes staff

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his Pride month, qnotes pays homage to one figure whose life and accomplishments set a golden precedent for the capabilities of LGBTQ people everywhere. Alan Turing, renowned scientist of many trades and proud gay man, died on June 7, 1954.

Turing’s professional achievements were remarkable enough.

As a mathematician and cryptographer, his work for the British military was responsible for breaking the Nazi Enigma code during World War II. This not only led to the creation of the computer, but played an integral role in the Allies’ victory in Europe.

His accomplishments paired with his deplorable prosecution by the British government for “gross indecency” have now made Turing one of the best-known LGBTQ figures of the past century.

However, Turing was not famous during his lifetime. It was only in recent decades that his tide-turning work for the military during World War II was made public.

Scholar Andrew Hodges, author of the seminal biography, “Alan Turing: the Enigma,” also wrote for the BBC discussing the scientist’s discoveries, inventions and interdisciplinary interests.

“In March 1946 Turing produced a detailed design for what was called the Automatic Computing Engine,” Hodges wrote.

“This was a digital computer in the modern sense, storing programs in its memory…In 1950, he published a philosophical paper including the idea of an ‘imitation game’ for comparing human and machine outputs, now called the Turing Test. This paper remains his best known work and was a key contribution to the field of Artificial Intelligence.”

In addition to Turing’s works on philosophy and engineering — groundbreaking work that undeniably led to the modern computer — he also dabbled in biology and chemistry and was an avid runner in amateur marathons. A fellow runner once asked Turing why he was so dedicated to the sport.

“I have such a stressful job that the only way I can get it out of my mind is by running hard,” he replied.

Turing died of cyanide poisoning on that fateful day 63 years

ago. His death was ruled as a suicide at the time, and many still believe it to be a result of his prosecution, when he was sentenced to one year of estrogen therapy — essentially chemical castration.

However, Turing scholar Jack Copeland later argued that the scientist’s death was more likely an accident. Turing kept cyanide in his home as a tool for chemical experiments and had never shown signs of suicidality. His hormone injections had ended more than a year before his death.

Long before the fight for LGBTQ rights became a movement, in a time when being gay was against the law, Turing was open about his sexuality. He even shared it with his fiancée, Joan Clarke, who remained engaged to him until Turing himself chose to end the relationship.

When police investigated a burglary in Turing’s home, the burglar testified to being an acquaintance of Turing’s former lover. When questioned about the relationship, Turing told the truth about his brief affair with 19-year-old Arnold Murray.

“When he was arrested, the first thing he said was he thought that this shouldn’t be against the law,” Hodges told PBS in a 2014 interview. “He gave a statement that was The 2012 Olympic Games torch was passed at the Alan Turing Memorial unapologetic, that detailed what had happened.” located in Slackville Park in Manchester, U.K. on his 100th birthday.

Turing’s unapologetic pride in his sexual identity was not Photo: Cen2s2s via Wikipedia. CC license. reflected in the recent biopic “The Imitation Game.” Critics who Decades upon decades after Turing’s death, a 2009 petition researched Turing’s life tore the movie apart point by point. penned by John Graham-Cunning inspired modern politicians to Christian Caryl, a writer for The New York Review of Books make an official apology. magazine, described the movie depiction of Turing as “reducing “This recognition of Alan’s status as one of Britain’s most him to a caricature of the tortured genius.” Caryl also condemns famous victims of homophobia is another step towards equality the film’s factual inaccuracies, calling them “a bizarre departure and long overdue. But even more than that, Alan deserves recogfrom the historical record.” nition for his contribution to humankind,” Prime Minister Gordon “The filmmakers have managed to transform the real Turing, Brown said at the time. “On behalf of the British government, and vivacious and forceful, into just the sort of mythological gay man, all those who live freely thanks to Alan’s work, I am very proud to whiney and weak, that homophobes love to hate,” Caryl wrote. say: we’re sorry, you deserved so much better.” : : The homophobes of Turing’s time treated him horrifically.

Legal Eagles

Traversing LGBTQ divorce in new era Charting new territory in family law

by Amanda Cannavo :: guest contributor

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or every 1,000 married Baby Boomers — defined as those ages 51 to 69 — 10 divorced in 2015 (pewrsr.ch/2mCxUfa), which increased from 5 in 1990. The increased rate of divorce amongst Baby Boomers has even been given a trendy name: “gray divorce” (bit.ly/2sEDbpj).” However, according to the Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Law and Public Policy, the divorce rate of same-sex couples is statistically lower than opposite-sex couples. The data shows same-sex couples divorced at an average rate of 1.1 percent annually, compared with 2 percent (bit.ly/1ssHfae ) annually between oppositesex couples. So, what does this mean for “gay and gray divorce?”

When the United States Supreme Court decided Obergefell v. Hodges (bit.ly/1P1iLyH ) in 2015, the Court held the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment guarantees the right to marry as one of the fundamental liberties it protects, and that analysis applies to same-sex couples in the same manner as it does to opposite-sex couples. Following the decision, same-sex couples now have the choice — to marry or not to marry. For some, first comes love, then comes marriage, and, for 1.1 percent of same-sex couples, then comes divorce.

Generally, when couples marry, they do not contemplate the end of their marriage. However, as the legal landscape evolves for same-sex couples, it is important to consider not only the right to marry, but also the laws that govern the dissolution of marriage. This could be particularly important for Baby Boomers, who are marrying later in life, and have acquired real and personal property, and financial security.

Two common claims in a divorce action are: (i) spousal support (i.e., postseparation support or alimony), and (ii) equitable distribution (i.e., property division).

When determining spousal support, there are several factors the court considers. Two common factors are: (i) the duration of the marriage, and (ii) the standard of living of the spouses established during the marriage. Regardless if the marriage is oppositesex or same-sex, the factual circumstances of every divorce are different; however, these factors could disproportionately affect the “gay gray divorce,” as opposed to a “gray divorce.”

Since same-sex couples were only granted the right to marry by the Supreme Court in 2015, it is common that “gay and gray” couples have been in a long-term relationship before marrying.

This means, when the court considers the foregoing factors, the length of marriage may only be a few years; however, the relationship may span decades.

Whether you are prosecuting or defending the claim, it is clear, there are pros and cons. For the spouse seeking spousal support, it seems unfair that the Court may only consider the length of the marriage, as opposed to the length of the relationship. On the other hand, the spouse defending against the spousal support claim may benefit from the factors, as the court may be compelled to shorten the length of spousal support based upon the length of the marriage, or may only consider the standard of living during the marriage.

The other common claim is equitable distribution. Like spousal support, there are a number of factors the court will consider in dividing the assets and debts. However, before the court may

divide the property, the judge will classify the property as marital or separate. Generally, only marital assets and debts are subject to distribution by the court. Marital property is all personal and real property acquired from the date of marriage until the date of separation or divorce. Separate property is all personal and real property acquired before the date of marriage, or by one spouse, at any time, by gift, bequest, devise, or descent. Again, the court’s classification of property may disproportionately affect the “gay gray divorce,” as opposed to a “gray divorce.”

Because same-sex couples may have acquired assets and debts throughout the length of their relationship, but may only have been married a short period of time, the classification of property may, or may not, be in one party’s favor.

With the “gray divorce” on the rise, even though same-sex couples are divorcing at a lesser rate, it is important for same-sex Baby Boomers to meet with an experienced family law attorney.

Whether you are contemplating marriage, or were recently married, although it may not be romantic, understanding your options and the potential impact the divorce laws may have on your future is imperative. Having an experienced family law attorney to advocate on your behalf is essential, especially as the laws continue to evolve following the Supreme Court’s decision in 2015. : : — Amanda Cannavo is a family law attorney at Sodoma Law, P.C. of Charlotte, N.C. She holds board admissions in North and South Carolina and attended SUNY Buffalo Law School. Cannavo specializes in divorce, separation, custody and child support.

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news

News Notes continued from page 13 are very few LGBT spaces in Greenville, and we want to fill that void.”

The kick-off event on June 7 was a rainbow-themed celebration.

“Blu is thrilled to partner with Upstate Pride SC and Takeover Upstate,” Naji said. “I hope more businesses will start showing their support for the LGBT community. Proud & Out is as much about giving people something to do as it is creating an accepting culture in Greenville.”

Admission is free. info: upstatepridesc.org. bit.ly/2r8eHDs.

Embassy Suites, Charlotte-Concord/Golf Resort & Spa, 5400 John Q. Hammons Dr. N.W. Speaker will be Yulonda Burris, vice president of diversity and inclusion and manager at BB&T. Attendees can receive 2.0 HRCI credits upon completion.

Registration for either event is $49 and available online. info: ndccarolinas.org.

Regional

Youth leaders event upcoming

Diversity meetings planned

RALEIGH/DURHAM, N.C. — The National Diversity Council Carolinas will hold its 2017 diversity best practices meeting on July 12, 8:30 a.m., at Rho, Inc., 6330 Quadrangle Dr., Chapel Hill, N.C. Speakers include Bucky Fairfax, senior vice president of strategic talent management at RTI International, and Kiwanda Stansbury, director of inclusion and diversity at Advance Auto Parts.

The meeting promotes the importance of diversity and inclusion efforts in the workplace.

Presenters will discuss the diversity and inclusion programs that they have implemented within their organizations: those that have been successful and those which have faced challenges and obstacles, and more.

On the following day, 8:30 a.m., the organization takes its meeting to Charlotte, N.C.’s

Campus Scene CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Camp Pride, a program of Campus Pride, will be held from July 18-23 at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte and is still open for participant registration.

Join other LGBTQ and ally undergraduate college student leaders from across the U.S. in learning how to be more successful activists and ways to accelerate LGBTQ initiatives on campuses, while making them safer and more inclusive.

Registration is $1,095 and includes room/ board, educational program materials and meals. Reservations are able to be made online.

In other news, Campus Pride has announced that it will give a $500 discount for campuses that book its Safe Space, Train the Trainer Program online educational opportunity. Participants will learn how to create a safe space program, get certified as a safe space trainer, adopt the Campus Pride model and logo usage and promote student success and equity for LGBTQ students on campus. Discounts are available for programs booked with a signed contract by July 1. info: campuspride.org.

Share your news with us

Does your organization or special interest group have events or great information to share with our readers? If so, be sure to send in your information to specialassignments@goqnotes.com. In the upcoming months, we’ll feature one of you in our news notes section in each issue. Are you a part of a Meetup, Yahoo or Google group and do you do something that’s really newsworthy? Do you provide a service for the community or hold fundraisers for worthy causes? Do you educate the public about LGBTQ issues or concerns? Of course, this is only a sampling of things we are interested in. It’s the aim of these pieces to inform, enlighten and educate our readers about what we’re doing here in the Carolinas to champion LGBTQ rights, as well as offer resources for those who may be interested in what your group is doing.

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Silver Screen

‘Maurice’ comes to life again Revival of early film brings gay themes to new generation

by Tim Nasson :: guest contributor

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been sent up to audition for the Daniel Day-Lewis role in ‘A Room film in some way might harm Forster’s literary reputation. That is erchant and Ivory. These two legendary names emWith A View,’ but I threw him out after 30 seconds. Well, maybe the only slight hesitation that they had. But they ended up letting blazoned on a movie poster or trailer instantly lit fires it was because he was unbelievably handsome and too goodus shoot the entire film there. No one said anything about its of anticipation inside cinephiles of the 1980s and early looking for the role of Cecil. [gay] subject matter. And when it came out here [in the U.S.], it 1990s, myself included. This label was always good news, for it “But for Clive [in ‘Maurice’] he was perfection. Appearance, found its audience.” heralded a new offering in the works by the master producer/ class-wise, in terms of accent and all that. So he got the part What James Ivory wanted, James Ivory got. director team: Ismail Merchant and James Ivory — think “A right away.”

It all began in 1983. Merchant/Ivory (and Ruth Prawer Jhabvala) Room With A View,” “Maurice,” “Howard’s End,” “The Remains Did Hugh Grant hesitate at all about playing a gay role? I had done their first movie, “The Householder,” for Columbia Pictures Of The Day.” asked Ivory, again rememBorn in Berkley, Calif., and living in New bering that it was 30 years York City, N.Y., James Ivory is now nearly 90 ago and Hugh Grant’s first years old. His long-time lover and business movie. “None. No one partner, Ismail Merchant, passed away in 2005 has ever hesitated. We at age 68. have had gay characters I had the chance to have a chat with Ivory in quite a few of our films recently, but not because he has a new movie and no one ever passed coming out. Rather, his 1987 film “Maurice,” on them. Remember, based on the E.M. Forster novel of the same Anthony Hopkins with a name (and, incidentally, Hugh Grant’s first Japanese lover in ‘City of film) is getting a theatrical rerelease, courtesy Our Final Destination,’ and of a 4-K restoration by Cohen Media Group, he just did it.” currently one of the biggest independent movie There is a third link studios. Their “The Salesman,” released in to the Merchant and conjunction with Amazon Studios, won the Ivory banner: Jhabvala.

2017 Best Foreign Film Oscar.

Before passing away at The movie “Maurice” is set in pre-World age 85 in 2013, Jhabvala War I England, where Maurice Hall (James won Oscars for adaptWilby) and Clive Durham (Hugh Grant) find ing the screenplays for themselves falling in love while attending the “A Room With A View” University of Cambridge. In a time when being and “Howard’s End,” the gay was punishable by imprisonment, the two other two E.M. Forster must keep their feelings for one another a novels that Ivory directed complete secret. After their friend Lord Risley and Merchant produced.

(Mark Tandy) is arrested and sentenced to six But she did not adapt months of hard labor after soliciting sex from “Maurice.” Why, I asked Ivory, did she pass on this film, which a soldier, Clive abandons his true-yet-forbidden James Wilby (left) and Hugh Grant in a scene from ‘Maurice.’

Ivory ended up writing the screenplay for? love and marries a young woman. Maurice, Photo Credit: Cohen Media Group “Two reasons,” he answers. “The biggest reason, she was however, struggles with questions of his writing a novel, “Three Continents,” and wanted to give that her full back in 1963. They had also made a number of well-received artidentity and self-confidence, seeking the help of a hypnotist (Ben attention. But, secondly, she didn’t feel it was one of Forster’s better house films during a five-year span, among them “The Europeans” Kingsley) to rid himself of his undeniable urges. books and for that reason wasn’t interested in adapting it. In all of (1979), “Quartet” (1981), and “Heat And Dust” (1983), when Columbia Whilst staying with Clive and his shallow wife, Anne (Phoebe her years of working with Pictures came knocking, asking the Merchant/Ivory duo Nicholls), Maurice attracts the attention of Alec Scudder us, if she was busy writing to produce and direct their upcoming epic “A Passage To (Rupert Graves), the under-gamekeeper. Alec then leaves his a novel, she wouldn’t work India,” based on the acclaimed E.M. Forster novel. family in order to stay with Maurice, whom he tells, “Now we on a screenplay. She was “No. I don’t want to direct ‘A Passage To India,’ I told shan’t never be parted.” careful how she dealt out a room full of Columbia executives,” recounts Ivory. “I To this very day the most successful independent movie of all her time.” want to produce and direct ‘A Room With A View.’ Their time, “A Room With A View” was made for $3 million, but raked While by no means as mouths all fell open,” he says. “They couldn’t believe I in over $70 million worldwide. Naturally, I asked Ivory if there was successful as “A Room would pass up the opportunity to direct ‘A Passage To any pushback from the movie studio about “Maurice,” his followWith A View” (and, realistiIndia’ instead, wanting to direct and produce Forster’s up to “A Room With A View,” since the picture was a bona-fide cally, there will probably little book, ‘A Room With A View.’ That’s what gay love story, replete with never be an independent they called it, ‘that little book.’ Ivory stuck to male nudity. Remember, movie that is more suchis guns, passing on “A Passage To India,’” for this was 1987. There was cessful in terms of Oscar which its legendary director David Lean also no gay marriage; there recognition and box office penned the screenplay and which went on were no gay rights in returns), “Maurice,” which to earn 11 Oscar nominations, including Best the workplace. Very few cost $2.6 million to produce, Director and Best Picture in 1985. professional men were out took in exactly that much in Ivory struck a deal with a fledgling indepenof the closet. Finding an U.S. theaters, thereby just dent movie studio, Cinecom, in 1984, to produce openly gay boy in any high breaking even in the U.S. It and direct “A Room With A View” under the school anywhere in the earned one Oscar nominaMerchant/Ivory banner. world was probably more tion, Best Costume Design, “The main reason I wanted to make ‘A Room challenging than finding a compared to “A Room With With A View,’” adds Ivory, after a slight pause, unicorn and leprechaun in A View” and its eight Oscar “was because I hadn’t been to Italy in over 20 a field at the same time. nominations (and three years.” Of course, part of the reason “A Room “None. There was no Director James Ivory on the set of ‘Maurice.’ wins), including Best Picture With A View” became so popular was its brilliant blowback,” answers Ivory.

Photo Credit: Cohen Media Group and Director for Ivory. cinematography, which turned the film into a “The only possible probIt is back, however, better than ever, for a whole new generamust-see travelogue — images of Florence and Tuscan lem was that E.M. Forster’s tion to see where it is meant to be seen on the big screen. and Edwardian English countryside looking better in that estate, [King’s College], There is hope, too, that Cohen Media Group will restore “A film than when viewing the scenery with one’s own two thought that the book was Room With A View” for a whole new audience to see on the big eyes — in addition to Oscar-winning dramatic effort. not up to the literary value screen and for the millions who originally saw it in movie theaters “When I auditioned Hugh Grant for the role of Clive of the other Forster novels to be able to enjoy its splendor once again. : : for ‘Maurice,’” says Ivory, “he reminded me that he had and that making it into a

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Summer Safety

Tips to keep you at peak performance in the heat and sun Memorial Day has come and gone which means that summer has officially started! With the summer season comes vacations, relaxing by the pool, and many other outdoor activities with which to fill our time. With the temperatures rising, be sure you are ready to beat the heat, and not let it beat you!

No matter what activity you are doing, sunscreen should be the first thing that you reach for. It is important to remember that not all sunscreens are created equal and extra time should be taken when picking one out at the store to make sure that you are getting as much UV protection as you can! If you are going to be lounging by the pool or at the beach or lake for an extended period of time, a broad-spectrum, water-resistant sunscreen with an SPF of 30 or higher is what you should look for in your search, and where your focus should lie.

Once you have your sunscreen picked out it’s just as important to know the proper way to use it. Ideally, you should apply sunscreen to your whole body 15 to 30 minutes before you go outside, and it should be reapplied every 2 hours. It’s also a good idea to limit your time in the sun during its hottest hours, which are from about 10 am to 4 pm. If you are outside during these peak hours, try to stay in the shade as much as you can to help avoid the rays. In addition to sunscreen don’t forget to wear those sunglasses to protect your eyes from the sun’s rays as well!

With the temperatures increasing it is important to stay hydrated. Hydration is important year round, but extra important

Photo Credit: Monkey Business via Adobe Stock

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during the warmer months. Always have a water bottle nearby and drink consistently throughout the day. An easy way to keep track of your hydration level is to check the color of your urine.

If it is a light yellow to a straw color, that is a good indication that you are properly hydrated. Also remember that not all drinks are created equal, and that some may actually dehydrate you — like coffee and alcohol. A good rule of thumb if you are enjoying an alcoholic beverage by the pool or at the beach is that for every drink with alcohol consumed, also drink that same amount of water.

Finally, while it is great to spend time outdoors getting fresh air, it is important to listen to your body and know when you have had enough time in the sun and heat.

Unfortunately, sometimes we forget to listen to our bodies and can experience heat stroke or heat exhaustion. This can occur after an extended amount of time in the sun and symptoms can include dizziness, nausea or vomiting, flushed skin, and rapid heartbeat. This is a serious condition, and it is important to know what to do if you or someone you know experiences this. The most important thing is to cool the body down and to get out of the sun. Applying cool water to the body can help to lower the temperature. Drinking more water to rehydrate can help as well. If the symptoms do not improve with these things, or if they become worse, always follow up with a doctor for treatment.

Have fun and be safe this summer!

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tell trinity

by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

Dealing with his dirty fantasies Dear Trinity, Everything, including sex with my boyfriend, couldn’t be better with one exception, he wants me to defecate on him. Despite my refusals, he persists, but I’m afraid if I don’t satisfy his “dirty pleasures” he’ll seek it somewhere else. Help?

Dirty Pleasures, Boston, MA Dear Dirty Pleasures, You can simply keep ignoring his shitty desires (sorry, I had to say the “S” word just once) and see what happens — or hire a professional fetish escort. With a professional there’s no chance of romance…only cash advance. Maybe this way, honey, he’ll get it out of his system once and for all or get tired of someone else getting it “out of their system.” Good luck!

Hello Trinity, My partner never wants to fool around when we first wake up. “It’s hard for me to get the feeling in the morning,” is all I hear. How do I get my partner into the morning mood?

Morning Desires, Tucson, AZ Hello Morning Desires, I’m sure you’d never think of getting the both of you to bed early then you getting up first, getting cleaned up, dressed up and preparing a

little champagne breakfast just to seduce your partner, would you? Get the hint, darling! (See my cartoon for some juicy tips on “serving it up on a silver platter” to get your beau in the mood for “gifts from Tiffany’s”) Hey Trinity, My girlfriend and I broke up five months ago.

Now it would’ve been our second year anniversary, and I think about her all the time. How do I get her out of my head? Plus, what should I do with the pictures of us?

Memory Troubles, Utica, NY Hey Memory Troubles, Being depressed over a breakup is depressing. Yet, did you know that depression created some of the world’s greatest art and music? So don’t avoid your sadness, but rather use it as inspiration. Now as for getting him out of your head, try staying busy with things like dating, working, volunteering, exercising and traveling.

Don’t give yourself time to get melancholy, give yourself time to love life. And, lastly, pumpkin, either hide those pictures in the back of the hardest to reach place or toss ‘em out which you’ll eventually do anyway!

To Trinity, You’re such an advocate of dating. But don’t

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you think that some people are just meant to be alone forever?

Dating Excuses, Oklahoma City, OK To Dating Excuses, Yes, sweetie, some people are meant to be alone only after…they’ve dated everyone twice and read: Trinity’s Excuses For Not Dating And (Tough Replies For Dating) 1. “I’m waiting for my dream lover!”

(Very Hollywood — but dating while waiting makes a much better documentary.)

2. “I’m not settling for less than perfect!”

(Very virtuous — but no one is perfect.

So loosen up and start dating!)

3. “Dating is too much work.” (Very couch potato — but living is work, and what else are you gonna do, watch YouTube videos forever?)

4. “ After my last relationship I’m done dating.”

(Very post-war — but how boring to let your past relationships ruin your future ones.)

5. “No one could compare to my first love!”

(Very cliche — but let someone at least try to snap you out of your fairy tale history.)

6. “I don’t have time to date!” (Very CEO — but just think of how much time and money you’ll save on loneliness therapy!)

7. “I’m still mourning the loss of my last lover.”

(Very Greek tragedy — but when you’re done wearing black can you start wearing life again!)

8. “When it’s the right time it will happen!”

(Very spiritual — but taking steps towards meeting people will prove even more enlightening!)

9. “I’m busy taking care of someone.” (Very Mother Theresa — but while you’re helping someone else with their life, also try helping yourself with yours.)

10. Lastly, “Dating is too disappointing!” (Very van Gogh — but we must be the sum of our experience, not be the sum of our fears or failures!) : : info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

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life

health and wellness

by Jack Kirven :: personal trainer, qnotes contributor

A success story: I can do it! I can do a muscle up

O

MG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! I’ve been trying for three years to figure out how to do a muscle up, and I just did my very first one!!!

(See my video at youtu.be/DFBst8ehNJg for a quick view.) But what’s even funnier than this video of me, is that it turns out I have been strong enough to do a muscle up for a very long time.

What has been holding me back all this time?

My mind.

For some reason I had it in my head that this was going to be too.…what? Difficult?

Painful? Dangerous? Scary? Epic? I really don’t have a word or concept that specifies what held me back. I notice a pattern in my life. It’s a fear of success. I’m not sure exactly how or why I developed it, but there are many times I self-sabotage. What pleased me so much in that moment when I was suddenly over the bar was that it happened without my thinking about it.

I was playing around, and doing pull ups to burn off some excess energy. I get extremely ebullient, especially after hollering at a class of boot campers. When that happens, the best way to not explode from frenetic joy is to do bursts of exercise. While pulling myself around, I realized I was repeatedly pulling myself up so high that the bar was already at or below my chest, and then in a flash I flipped my elbows to arrive on top.

I did it without evaluating it or strategizing it. I did it without studiously preparing for it. The moment was right, and the muscle up pretty much completed itself. I was just along for the ride. It shocked me once I realized where I was. Even more surprising was how simple it was.

The process I don’t mean to imply that doing a muscle up was easy. There are plenty of situations that are simple without being easy. In retrospect, this is what I think finally allowed that first muscle up to do itself. (Note: What you see in the video is my second and third muscle ups. The first was spontaneous, so no one was ready to record it.)

Progressive overload created this moment.

It’s a long process to be able to do a pull up, let alone multiple pull ups.

It is then another level of training to be able to use different grips, different tempos and explosive reps. All of that is part of a life-long progression for me. But something finally tipped…

I attribute this sudden burst in explosive power and strength to The 300 Workout (menshealth.com/fitness/muscle-building-11). A year ago I built up to doing the intermediate version of it, because I didn’t have the necessary equipment in my home gym. It was a crucible unto itself. Recently I decided to do the full original, because a year had gone by, I wanted to see if I could still do it, and Flex5 (flex5clt.com/) has the equipment.

Why does this matter? I started doing the 35-pound kettlebell clean and press, and they require explosive strength. I think that training finished preparing my shoulders for the speed and strength that would be required.

My body was finally ready. All I had to do was get out of my own way.

Going forward There are layers of personal lessons in this. I stay in my head far, far too much. It’s one of the disadvantages of being a genius. LOL! Anyway, this reminds me of one of the main tenets of Pattern 7: Focus (bit. ly/2sFcpgy). The detail I’m referring to is my own advice to others: “See yourself performing your activity perfectly, and then do it.

Apply this to everything.”

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This was a fantastic example of recognizing in a flash what I wanted to do, knowing somehow what it would feel like, and seeing myself above the bar. And then I was above the bar. I wasn’t telling myself why I couldn’t do it. I envisioned it reflexively, and then I did a muscle up. Now to apply this realization to everything.

In terms of the muscle up itself, I have already begun reducing the amount of swing.

A strict repetition is done without momentum and without kipping (lifting the knees to create a short boost). I can see minimizing or eliminating the swing relatively soon. Not kipping? That will take some time. But what really matters is knowing that I can do this. It doesn’t matter that I’m 40. I can do this. : : info: Jack Kirven completed the MFA in Dance at UCLA, and earned certification as a personal trainer through NASM. His wellness philosophy is founded upon integrated lifestyles as opposed to isolated workouts. Visit him at jackkirven.com and INTEGRE8Twellness.com.

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EVENTS June-July 2017 Continues through June 25 SEP JUN MO Charlotte Squawks 13: Charlotte, We Have a Problem Booth Playhouse at Blumenthal Performing Arts Center 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte Times vary The news, both local and national, sports, pop culture and life in the Queen City get a sendup in what creators call a cross between “Saturday Night Live” and a Broadway show.

The creative team of Mike Collins and Brian Kahn, and a team of the area’s most talented performers, will have no shortage of material to draw from this year. Ticket prices vary and start at $24.50. Tickets and more information are available online. blumenthalarts.org.

–––––––––––––––––––– Continues through June 18 ‘Avenue Q’ Raleigh Little Theatre 301 Pogue St., Raleigh Times vary The Raleigh Little Theatre presents the first local staging of the hit play “Avenue Q” in the Triangle. The play is a satirical comedy musical, appropriate for mature audiences. It functions as a coming-of-age story, utilizing puppetry.

Tickets prices vary. More information and tickets are available online. raleighlittletheatre.com.

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Tosco Music Beatles SEP JUN MO Tribute Knight Theater at Levine Center for the Arts 430 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m.

Around 15 acts will take the stage to perform favorite songs by The Beatles.

Expect variety and a good time for all ages. Tosco Music is a non-profit that is dedicated to enhancing Charlotte’s music community.

More information and tickets are available online. blumenthalarts.org. toscomusic.org.

–––––––––––––––––––– Key West Themed Fundraiser Party Second and Green Tavern 207 N. Green St., Winston-Salem 9 p.m.

A joint fundraiser for OUT at the Movies and the North Star LGBTQ Center with a Key West themed outdoor party. Food will be provided by King’s Crab Shack and Oyster Bar, The Old Fourth Street Filling Station, Twin City Slice, and others. Entertainment will be provided

by Andrea “Chocolate” Carlisle, Aurora Carlisle, Paisley Parque, Petite Dee Jonville, Shofonda Jade-Addams Cox, and male entertainers. Ticket package prices vary. More information and tickets are available online. bit.ly/2qxW2QE.

Submit your event to our calendar!

You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a three-for-one entry. All Charlotte-area events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes.com), Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce (clgbtcc.org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com).

Salisbury Pride E. Fisher St., Salisbury Salisbury celebrates their 7th Annual Pride Festival, featuring local and national performers, artists, food vendors, and more. Performers will include Delighted Tobehere, Patti O’Furniture, EM Shawn and Lola Lovelace. More information is available online. salisburypride.com.

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Continues through July 2 SEP JUN MO ‘Fun Home’ Knight Theater at Levine Center for the Arts 430 S. Tryon St., Charlotte Times vary The hit Broadway musical, adapted from the graphic novel of the same name by former qnotes cartoon contributor Alison Bechdel, “Fun Home” brings audiences into the life of Alison at three different ages as she grapples with the mysteries of her childhood.

Those themes include discovering her own sexuality, as well as that of a close family member, and the effects born out of those realizations. Ticket prices vary. More information and tickets are available online. blumenthalarts.org.

To see more upcoming events, visit goqnotes.com/calendar/

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Fortune Feimster SEP JUN MO The Comedy Zone 900 NC Music Factory Blvd., Ste. B3, Charlotte 8 p.m.

Comedian Fortune Feimster first gained national attention as a contestant on “Last Comic Standing,” and later appeared on shows like “Chelsea Lately,” “2 Broke Girls” and “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” The North Carolina native returns to bring her hilarious standup act to the Queen City at The Comedy Zone. Doors open at 7 p.m.

Tickets begin at $20. Tickets and more information are available online. cltcomedyzone.com.

‘90s Tribute Neighborhood Theatre 511 E 36th St., Charlotte 8-11 p.m.

Some of Charlotte’s best bands will perform the hits of the 1990s in a benefit concert for Levine Children’s Hospital.

Music by the likes of Nirvana, Counting Crows, Radiohead, TLC, Weezer and more will be performed by bands like Ancient Cities, Sam The Lion, The Business People, and Modern Primitives with Astrea Corp. More information and tickets are available online. neighborhoodtheatre.com.

–––––––––––––––––––– Latin Night in Plaza Midwood Snug Harbor 1228 Gordon St., Charlotte 10 p.m.-2 a.m.

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$1 Movie Night, SEP JUN MO ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’ FROCK Shop 901 Central Ave., Charlotte 8-11:30 p.m.

FROCK Shop and Powder Studio team up to host a $1 movie night, with an interactive viewing of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” Proceeds go to LGBTQ advocacy organization Time Out Youth Center. Refreshments will be on sale. This show is for adults only. More information is available online. facebook.com/events/253435625135350.

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A night of dancing and celebration of Latin culture, with music by La Nueva Sensacion, Sharey y su Grupo Klave and DJs Mvee and Crossfade. Styles of music performed will include salsa, merengue, bachata and cumbia. $10 will be collected at the door. Tickets and more information are available online. snugrock.com.

Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/

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life

Our People:

Q&A with Joan Gale Cabarrus PFLAG president works for change

by Maria Dominguez :: qnotes staff

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llies are born when their love is unconditional. For Joan Gale, 59 years young and a straight parent, her son’s coming out in middle school was a moment of great change.

Seeing her own child confront the struggles that LGBTQ youth face in Cabarrus County and around the world, Gale was determined to do her part. She founded the Concord/Kannapolis

Aside from LGBTQ community work, are you passionate about any other political causes?

[Sex education]. As a member of the Community Advisory Council (CAC) for Cabarrus Health Alliance, I reiterate that LGBTQ sex education needs to be included in the North Carolina health and sex education curriculum. The CAC network of leaders presents a platform for me to educate those who may have little understanding about the LGBTQ community.

How does your experience as a school counselor influence your approach to LGBTQ issues?

Having grown up myself in Cabarrus County, I developed a passion for the LGBTQ youth while our son was in high school and college.

As a school counselor, I could relate to parents’ and students’ struggles.

I worked in Cabarrus County in the educational sector as a teacher and a school counselor for 36 years; I witnessed and helped LGBTQ students who had been teased, taunted and ridiculed for simply being themselves …This, along with sensing a need for resources for LGBTQ families like my own, created a desire to start a PFLAG chapter in my community. When I first retired in 2013, my goal was to create a safe space for the LGBTQ community, its allies and advocates.

chapter of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) in 2014, after retiring from her career as a school counselor. The chapter has grown, connecting with the national organization promote LGBTQ support and progress. Gale and her husband attended the PFLAG National Convention in 2016, the same year that she received the PFLAG Advocacy Award. Her chapter meets monthly at Trinity Church of Christ in Concord, provides meals for the Cabarrus Time Out Youth Center satellite organization, and advocates for LGBTQ rights through various avenues. A true ally, Gale has dedicated her golden years to working for change and support for her son, and the community she loves.

In what ways did you have to evolve as a person when your son came out as gay?

My passion for the LGBTQ community took root in our gay son’s adolescent years while in Cabarrus County Schools. He came out to me in middle school and then began a life of wanting to move away from this area due to discrimination and biases he witnessed while in his community and schools…My excitement of starting a PFLAG chapter in 2014 and being president challenged some of my friends and family members in our relationship. As I opened up to them about my support of the LGBTQ community, they pulled away due to their own beliefs.

Today, I realize there are many sacrifices when you are committed to a cause and a purpose, some of which may include losing friends and risking familial relationships.

What are your hobbies, or activities that give you joy?

When we are home, we enjoy working around the house, watching movies, and seeing nature from our front porch.

Who are key people in your support system?

A key supporter and encourager is my husband, Don Gale, who has walked this journey with me.

If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?

[We] look forward to being a part of Charlotte Pride this August…We plan to enjoy travel adventures to Alaska, Central America and other destinations not yet on our list.

Why is it important for a group like PFLAG to exist, both nationally and in the Concord/ Kannapolis area?

Cabarrus County needs to be intentional in providing spaces and resources for LGBTQ folks…Both locally and nationally, PFLAG strives to support families, allies and people who are LGBTQ. We educate at each monthly meeting by providing speakers, panels and resources about unique issues and challenges facing the LGBTQ community. We advocate to change attitudes, create policies and laws that achieve full equality for people who are LGBTQ. My favorite mission is for the LGBTQ youth in our county to have full access to all their rights; therefore, our PFLAG chapter ensures that each high school provides a Gay Straight Alliance (GSA) or a similar support system. : :

June 16-29 . 2017

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