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Ralph Ketner September 20, 1920 – May 29, 2016
Food Lion co-founder and LGBT community supporter left a legacy in his work to end discrimination. His philanthropy went beyond borders to assist those whose lives would otherwise not be as full or rich without it.
qnotes news & features
arts. entertainment. news. views. 10 News Notes: Regional Briefs
11 News Notes: U.S./World Briefs
a&e / life&style 12 The artistry of Edwin Gil 13 Carolinas arts groups 17 Camp Pride sees short fall 18 HB2 boycotts 20 Tell Trinity 21 Tips for coming out 22 Q Events Calendar 23 Health & Wellness
opinions & views   9 Guest Commentary
more news & feature coverage
Performers show support for LGBT community Be it thorough cancelled concerts or events or by touching down on Tar Heel State soil, internationallyknown acts fight against HB2 page 18
Pride 2016 Coming out to family and friends Five tips to make the process a bit easier, focused. page 21
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guest commentary by Laila Ibrahim :: guest contributor
Coming out again...and again...and again We talk about coming out as if it’s something you only do once. In my experience it’s an ongoing part of life. Sometimes it’s easy, and other times it makes my stomach flutter. I first came out as a lesbian 30 years ago when I was still in college. Initially I was very careful about whom I shared this tender information with. In 1985 being gay felt both like being part of a special club and living in a freak show. Over time, I widened the circle of people that I told. Sometimes I was praised for being courageous, and other times I was treated with contempt or confusion. One of the more memorable responses to my[?] coming out was when my sister-in-law’s 60-year-old mother said, while we were cooking Thanksgiving dinner, “I’ve seen that on ‘The Phil Donahue Show,’ but never met one before.” In 1991, my partner Rinda and I had a service of commitment in our Unitarian Universalist Church. Most of our family members came, and as far as I was concerned, I was out to the world. It was a done deal. Little did I know that becoming a parent would force me to be out in whole new way. It started at the birth in the hospital where I had to justify my relationship with my own child at every change of shift. Some nurses were tickled pink to be working with an “alternative” family. But others were confused, offended or outright hostile. Looking back, I wonder how well I explained the situation — sleep deprived as I was. At restaurants, waitresses would casually ask, “Who’s her mother?” Rinda and I would stare at each other, unprepared at first. Eventually we learned to say, “We both are. We’re a couple.” “Who’s her real mother?” often came next. “We both are. But Rinda’s her birth mom, if that’s what you’re really asking.” By the time we had two kids, with the same donor but two different birth moms, the story of how our family came to be was often more than we wanted to convey to a casual inquiry before ordering drinks. And yet, we wanted our children to hear us talk easily about our family structure and learn how to explain it themselves. Their experience of having two moms was nearly invisible in popular culture. We wanted to make it a source of pride and not shame. So I learned to say enough without saying too much. And I learned to uncover what I was really being asked. And I learned when to give a 10-second explanation and when to have a longer conversation. And I learned to let our children take the lead as they grew older. And I learned to say the word “wife.” I never expected to be a wife or have a wife, but now I am one and I have one. It’s turned out to be the best thing ever, because that single word conveys so much, so clearly. Without any further explanation, total strangers understand my relationship to Rinda. “Girlfriend,” “partner,” “life mate” require more sentences to be certain that I’m being understood. But “wife” is completely clear. The federal legal recognition that came last year brought more ease and clarity to my life than I had expected. After all, we’d been married in our hearts and souls since 1991. And our marriage was recognized in the state of California. What could a federal blessing of our marriage give us that we didn’t already have? It turns out, a lot. Now that we were “out” to the federal government, when we got a mortgage, we knew how to hold title. In the past we had
long conversations with the title company; and all of us were just making a guess about the best way for us to hold title as a couple that was legally married in California, but not at the federal level. We only have to fill out one joint federal tax return, which can be used for our state return. For many years our accountant did a joint federal tax return so he could do a joint state return, and then he did an individual return for each of us. We paid a lot of money for those extra returns. When I fill out our Federal Financial Aid forms for college, I don’t have to leave out a parent. In the past I felt like I was holding back information, but there was no way to represent our reality because federal tax returns (the basis for the form) did not recognize both parents. I even called to make sure I was doing it right. The woman on the phone was kind, but told me that the financial aid form simply did not include a way to represent the reality of our family. Changing laws is important to creating the just, multicultural society the U.S. Constitution promises. Changing hearts and minds is equally important in making that dream a reality. As we make these changes, our coming out stories change as well. I’m part of a Facebook group for queer moms. Lately, there has been a string of posts from women about their experiences with hospitals. The common theme is that they start out ready to fight to have “our family” recognized in Utah or a in Catholic hospital. But instead, they are met with respect, joy and clarity about filling in birth certificates, NICU visitation privileges or being called Mom. Those stories bring tears to my eyes. Wow! The pace of change is beautiful. And, yet, the moral arc of the universe doesn’t easily bend toward justice. There are always steps backwards: see the new Jim Crow and North Carolina HB2. We can’t let those who are afraid of widening the circle of love and justice decide the parameters of the conversation. My favorite coming out moments are the ones that shine a light on my own prejudices. The times I was met with love and respect from the very people I had been taught would hate me filled my heart with grace. The military officer who told me that part of his duty was to stand with gay and lesbian service people who were being drummed out of the service because of their sexual orientation. My 80-year-old, devoutly Catholic aunt who told me that God loves everyone and doesn’t make any mistakes. The grandmother at my children’s elementary school, a Jehovah’s Witness, who apologized with tears in her eyes that her grandson had teased my daughter about having two moms. Each of those encounters taught me to put away my assumptions and treat people as individuals. The potential cost of coming out is rejection. But the cost of being hidden, of living in shame, is far greater. And the opportunities that coming out affords are enormous. Coming out as a lesbian has given me the courage to come out as an artist, a writer, a Black Lives Matter activist and a person of faith. It’s allowed me to be more of my authentic self in so many ways, and hopefully gives others the courage to do the same. And it’s given people permission to tell me their stories of spiritual and personal growth, connecting us across differences, but reminding us of our shared humanity. : : — Laila Ibrahim is the critically acclaimed author of “Yellow Crocus” and “Living Right,” available now on Amazon and all major booksellers. Connect with Laila Ibrahim on Facebook and at LailaIbrahim.com.
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qnotes connect June 17-30, 2016 Vol 31 No 04
arts. entertainment. news. views. goqnotes.com twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas
contributors this issue Bill Allen, Dr. Carmen Harra, Laila Ibrahim, Jack Kirven, Lainey Millen, Jeff Taylor, Trinity
front page
Graphic Design by Lainey Millen Photography: Juan Zambrano Mission:
The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBT and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBT life and social justice issues. Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Managing Editor: Jim Yarbrough, editor@goqnotes.com Assoc. Editor: Lainey Millen, specialassignments@goqnotes.com Social Media Editor: Jeff Taylor, socialmedia@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen, x205 production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.
Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2016 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.
charlotteobserver.com/1166/ a local news partner of The Charlotte Observer
upcoming issues: During one’s lifetime, the coming out process is often repeated along the road of life and can be met with acceptance or rejection and prejudice. Photo Credit: gustavofrazao via Adobe Stock.
07.01.16: Summer Travel Advertising Space Deadline: June 22 07.15.16: Kind of a Drag Advertising Space Deadline: July 6
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news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff
Community mourns Ketner Photo Credit: Diedre Laird, The Charlotte Observer
SALISBURY, N.C. — Philanthropist and long-time LGBT supporter Ralph Ketner, 95, died on May 29. A former owner and founder of Food Lion, Ketner had a “profound and lasting impact” on the grocery industry,” The Charlotte Observer reported. “He has left a tremendous legacy not only at Food Lion, but through his philanthropy and kindness in the Salisbury community as a whole…,” Food Lion shared in a statement. “Our associates adored and respected him, and we will miss him dearly.” “In December 1957, Ketner, his brother Brown Ketner and Wilson Smith started Food Town in Salisbury [which was renamed Food Lion]. He once said he and his co-founders tracked down their first 125 investors in the Salisbury phone book,” the Observer added. Ketner came up with a way to cut prices on groceries and revolutionized an industry, gambling on increased sale volume to nullify “razor-thin profit margins.” His “lowest food prices in North Carolina” or “LFPINC” made a company that began with investments of less than $100, rising to a value in the millions and then over a 25-year period hit $7.2 billion. Upon his retirement, Ketner served at the Ketner School of Business at Catawba College as an adjunct professor. He was also a philanthropist who contributed 35 percent of net worth to various charities over the years, the Observer reported. He was the recipient of a number of awards and was the subject of several magazine articles. A funeral was held on June 5 at Catawba College with private burial afterward. He is survived by a daughter, Linda Ketner, of Charleston, S.C.; a son, Robert (Leslie) Ketner of Greensboro, N.C.; grandchildren Robert (Rebecca) Ketner Jr. of Winston-Salem, N.C., Andrew Ketner of New York, N.Y., Margaux Ketner of Philadelphia, Pa., and Madeline Ketner of Greensboro; sisters Virginia Petty of Greensboro, N.C., and Dorothy Swing of Salisbury, N.C.; former wives, Ruth Hope (mother of his children) of Georgetown, S.C. and Anne Ketner of Salisbury, N.C.; multiple nieces and nephews; and in-laws Wayne and Claudette Jones, and, Gary and Cathy Boggs all of Faith, N.C. [Ed. Note: Daughter Linda Ketner founded Alliance for Full Acceptance in Charleston, S.C., and was a former Democratic nominee for Congress, among other civic and professional contributions. After struggling for over 30 years with her sexuality, she came out and became an advocate for the LGBT community. Her father was supportive of her and was a large contributor toward Salisbury Pride’s annual festival.] info: charlotte.com.
Charlotte Youth org awards scholarships
CHARLOTTE, N.C. — On May 20, the Tonda Taylor LGBTQ Youth Scholarship was awarded to Gabby Hubert, a Parkwood High School senior who will begin her college education at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill as an English honors program major, and Makalia Garcia, a recent graduate of Rowan-Cabarrus Community College who will be attending the University of North Carolina at Greensboro as a biology and pre-medicine major. Each student received $2,500 in scholarship awards to use in their pursuit of higher educational learning. Hubert has spent the last four years campaigning for a safe and inclusive school climate for all students by establishing an annual Day of Silence to fight anti-LGBT bullying, fundraising for LGBT non-profits, challenging non-inclusive school and county policy and founding the school’s first Gay-Straight Alliance. She has also been involved as the president of the National Honor Society, vice president of the International Thespian Society and student director of the Rebel Clef a cappella group. She was recently honored with the Charlotte Pride Young Catalyst award and is currently working
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on establishing a youth planning committee for Pride. Hubert hopes to eventually ensure positive LGBT representation in literature through a career in publishing. Garcia’s first degree, an associate’s in arts, was obtained at the age of 17. She served as the 2015-2016 academic senator at Rowan-Cabarrus Community College and as a member of its Gay-Straight Alliance club, PRISM, during her attendance at the school. She dedicated over 300 community service hours to various agencies in the Charlotte, Concord and Kannapolis area. Additionally, Garcia served as a mentor to many teenagers that identify with the LGBT community, as a positive role model who strongly believes in self-reflection and growth. She has called Time Out Youth her family and support alongside her family. The Tonda Taylor LGBTQ Youth Scholarship is named in honor of the founder of Time Out Youth who saw the need to provide support and advocacy for LGBT youth in 1991. Scholarships are awarded annually and are available to all youth who identify as LGBT and live in the Carolinas. info: timeoutyouth.org.
ASO seeks funds, support
CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Different Roads Home, 2320 N. Davidson St., has launched its Good
Road Society in an effort to raise needed funds to sustain their work. The three-year-old organization says it has made a significant impact in the local community for those affected by HIV/AIDS and the chronically ill. It has been able to provide services to thousands of individuals since it began. Funds will be used for client needs, including prevention and testing, housing support and group therapy. Different Roads Home hopes to secure several contributors who are willing to provide financial support on a monthly basis. Contact Troy Shellito via email at tshellito@ differentroadshome.org to discuss options. More information is available online as well. In other news, the organization will begin to print and mail its “The Good Road Bulletin” newsletter on an ongoing basis. Email Shellito with name and full address to be placed on the distribution list. In upcoming months, Different Roads Home will hold a number of events which will be detailed in qnotes in the future. They are: “An Intimate Evening with Jennifer Holliday” on Aug. 20; Del Shores’ “Sordid Lives” starring Ann Walker from Oct. 13-15; and its “7th Annual Evening of Hope and Inspiration” with Christian musical group Jason and deMarco, “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” cast member Teresa Guidice and special guest country music star Louise Mandrell. Check the website for ticket pre-sale opportunities. info: differentroadshome.org.
Musical artist, activist launches anti-HB2 video
CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Si Kahn, a musician/ singer/songwriter and the founder and former director of Grassroots Leadership, launched a video on May 20 entitled “No 2 HB2 Video EP Suite.” Kahn is using this effort to convince North Carolina’s Gov. Pat McCrory and legislative members that HB2 has “deeply damaged” the states economy and reputation, thus saying “it’s time to repeal HB2 in full.” The video suite includes five songs, such as jazzy tunes like “The Bad Old Hymn of the Republicans,” “Who’s in the Bathroom With Me?” and “Oy Vey!” Rounding out the compilation are “The Alphabet of Justice” and “HB2-U.” A bonus track, “What Do People Really Think About HB2?” is also available on YouTube. “As a North Carolinian for 40 years,” Kahn says, “I’m proud of my state’s traditions, from being a long-time leader in higher education to creating opportunities for all. It breaks my heart to see North Carolina become a laughingstock because of HB2.” Kahn is both a long-time civil rights, labor and community organizer and an internationally respected writer of songs for bluegrass, musical theater, folk and children’s music. In 2015, Kahn was inducted into the Blue Ridge Music Hall of Fame, joining such legendary artists as Doc Watson, Etta Baker, Ralph and Carter Stanley, Emmylou Harris, Dolly Parton, Earl Scruggs and Lester Flatt. Kahn received the Winthrop University 2015 Medal of Honor in the Arts and the Charlotte Folk Society 2011 Folk Heritage Award. info: bit.ly/25S8a1M. facebook.com/no2hb2.
Allison defies law
CHARLOTTE, N.C. — CBS affiliate WBTV reported on June 3 that Janice Covington Allison took a photo of herself inside a women’s bathroom in defiance of HB2’s bathroom principles. The transgender woman has been vocal about her displeasure with HB2, speaking
out at Charlotte City Council meetings among other venues. Allison posted a photo of herself in the bathroom on Facebook. “I wanted to show [Gov. Pat McCrory] that I’m not going to comply [with HB2],” the station shared. Since her youth, Allison has always known that she identified as a female. She said that she had sent a letter to McCrory to secure a sit-down with him, but McCrory’s office had not located the letter and “would reserve comment until they had seen it.” The governor continues to push the “privacy risk” agenda, even though studies and research say that transgender individual’s use of bathrooms that match with their perceived sexual preference did not create issues in lavatories. Allison is standing by her convictions and not giving in to pressure from the law. In fact, she says that law enforcement officers would have to arrest her while she was in a women’s bathroom. She refuses to use the men’s room. info: wbtv.com.
Triad Center fundraiser approaches
WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. — A fundraising event for North Star LGBT Community Center, 930 Burke St., will be held on June 18 with a potluck at 6 p.m. and a rhythm and drum circle at 7 p.m. with Michele Sevacko. One does not need to be an experienced drummer to participate. Participants will be able to release stress through meditative rhythms, get energized through energycharged creative expression, build community and have some fun. A handful of drums will be available for use, however, participants are encouraged to be creative and fashion a homemade one or bring something that can be percussed, rattled or shaken. Contributions of any amount are appreciated to support the work of the center. info: northstarlgbtcc.com.
Parents focus on HB2
GREENSBORO, N.C. — Parents and Friends of Gays and Lesbians Greensboro will hold a support and HB2 meeting on June 21, 7:30 p.m., at College Park Baptist Church, Youth Room, 1601 Walker Ave. The organization also announced that its Carter Stroupe Memorial Scholarship recipients are Manuel Lopez, Jayce Shore, Chase Myers and Lucy Hartsock. Lopez, an Alamance County resident, plans to attend the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Shore, of Guilford County, plans to attend the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. Myers is the first Carter Stroupe Memorial Scholarship recipient from Rockingham County. He will attend the University of North Carolina at Wilmington. Hartsock is the coordinator and director of the Bayard Rustin Center for LGBTQ Activism, Education and Reconciliation at Guilford College in Greensboro, N.C., where she is a rising senior. info: pflaggreensboro.org.
Triangle Choruses set for concerts
RALEIGH, N.C. — Members of the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington will be visiting the Tar Heel State on June 18 where it will protest HB2 and show its support of the transgender community. According to The Washington Blade, around 80 members of the chorus will “sing
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several ‘pop-up’ concerts,” including ones outside Gov. Pat McCrory’s mansion, 200 N. Blount St., at the State Capitol, 1 E. Edenton St. and at Logan’s One Stop Garden Shop and Trading Center, 707 Semart Dr. Accompanying them will be Raleigh, N.C.’s Triangle Gay Men’s Chorus and Greensboro, N.C.’s Triad Pride Men’s Chorus. The Blade reported that the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington’s Artistic Director Thea Kano said, “We are eager to show our support for the transgender community in North Carolina and raise our voice for LGBT awareness.” info: gmcw.org. tgmchorus.org. triadpridemenschorus.org.
Western ‘Stonewall’ reading slated
ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Malaprops Bookstore and Cafe’s LGBTQ Book Club will hold a reading of author Ann Bausum’s “Stonewall: Breaking Out in the Fight for Gay Rights” on June 27, 7 p.m., at Battery Park Book Exchange, 1 Page Ave. After the reading a discussion will be held among attendees. The short book was written for audiences as young as 14 and provides a short history of the events that spearheaded the Gay Rights Movement. info: malaprops.com.
Dragon boaters score big
LAKE LURE, N.C. — The Honey Badgers Dragon Boat team captured its first gold medal on June 11 at a race held in the mountain resort. Badgers organizer Marcy Badertscher shared that they were elated and surprised to have won their divisional race in a highly competitive field of paddlers. They were victorious over teams from Charlotte, N.C., and the Carolinas region. All this comes at a time for the year-old organization who simply race for the love of it. Their coach, Denise Bauer, and others formed the team to provide a truly inclusive, LGBT and allied community where everyone was respected for their uniqueness and contribution. In fact, until just a few months ago, the Honey Badgers did not have a viable team for racing. They are pleased with their accomplishment. “We are without a doubt the most amazing and fun mix of LGBT and straight ally misfits to paddle a dragon boat and we won that race on pure heart (and expert coaching),” Badertscher added. Members of the team come from all walks of life. Some, like Badertscher who was looking at something to do outdoors, had not engaged in a regular exercise program or training. Being a star athlete is not necessary to participate. “Bauer is a phenomenal coach,” Badertscher shared. A couch potato previously, she has developed arm and core strength that she never thought possible. Receiving coaching through encouragement and empowerment from Bauer spirited her toward increased confidence and a better sense of self. The team practices are on Saturdays from 12-2 p.m. at Latta Plantation Park. Cost is $5 which is used to defray boat and equipment costs. info: honeybadgersdbc.org.
South Carolina Pride pageant upcoming
CHARLESTON, S.C. — Charleston Pride will present its “Heroes and Villains” super-powered drag pageant on June 30, 10 p.m., at Cure Nightclub, 28 Ann St. Doors open at 9 p.m.
Host for the evening will be Paris LeFaris who will guide contestants through each round while judges talley their results and crown a winner. The current Empress of Charleston Pride Jaisee Alexander will take her final walk and crown the winner at the pageant. Registration is available online. Entry fee is $125, payable in advance. Admission cover is $10 with proceeds going to support Charleston Pride. info: charlestonpride.org.
Equality wins at state level
COLUMBIA, S.C. — SC Equality has reported that through its efforts and those of progressive-minded South Carolinians that for the second year, all anti-LGBT bills at the South Carolina General Assembly were defeated. Jeff Ayers, SC Equality executive director, shared that this was the second year in a row that the organization had successfully helped to defeat all 11 anti-LGBT bills that had been filed during the 2016 South Carolina legislative session. General Assembly allies and coalition partners banded together to see the battle through to a successful completion. “South Carolina is one of the only states in the ‘Deep South’ to make this claim. You all should be proud of what we have accomplished together,” Ayers said of the 11-bill defeat. Opponents of the bills contributed funds to help in the fight and Ayers shared that they were all appreciative of the overwhelming support that was given to the effort. However, he added that the challenge was not over as anti-LGBT legislators may be poised to try to push through measures in 2017. “But for today, let us pause and celebrate our huge victory at the South Carolina State House this year,” Ayers said as he encouraged pro-LGBT individuals and organizations to “stand together” to push against the bigotry so that equality wins out. info: scequality.org.
History Museum, 5 E. Edenton St., for HIV/AIDS Advocacy Day 2016 to raise awareness and educate North Carolina legislators about policies that improve the lives of people living with HIV and AIDS. HIV/AIDS Advocacy Day 2016 was hosted by the North Carolina AIDS Action Network. It works to improve the lives of people living with HIV/AIDS and affected communities through outreach and public education, policy advocacy and community-building to increase visibility and mutual support of people living with HIV/AIDS in North Carolina. Nearly half of people living with HIV in the U.S reside in the South, while the South also had the highest rates of both new HIV diagnoses and HIVrelated deaths in the country. North Carolina is among the 10 U.S. states with the highest rates of new HIV and AIDS diagnoses and HIVrelated deaths. Advocacy Day was attended by almost 50 advocates from across the state. Before launching out for the day of advocacy, participants received a briefing and training on various issues impacting people living with HIV/ AIDS and then spent the day at the General Assembly meeting with over 25 legislators and were welcomed in the morning by Rep. Susan Fisher and Sen. Gladys Robinson. While the advocates met with their local legislators, Alliance of AIDS Services-Carolinas provided free HIV testing in the 1200 Court of the General
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Assembly. Rep. Graig Meyer stopped by to get tested in order to raise visibility about knowing one’s status. “The numerous medical advances over the past few years has changed what it means to be HIV-positive in 2016,” said Debbie Warren, executive director of Charlotte, N.C.-based Regional AIDS Interfaith Network. “People are not only able to live long healthy lives, but are significantly reducing the risk of HIV transmission to others. There are about 35,000 people living with HIV/AIDS in North Carolina and days like today help prioritize issues that will improve the lives of people living with HIV/ AIDS in our state.” “HIV/AIDS Advocacy Day 2016 was such a rewarding experience because we were able to educate legislators on issues that are uniquely important to our community,” said Amanda Stem, advocacy supervisor from Asheville, N.C.based Western North Carolina AIDS Project. “It was really encouraging to hear legislators from both sides of the aisle equally as supportive of the HIV/AIDS community.” Advocates thanked legislators for their support of an upcoming budget provision that will expand access to health insurance for lowincome HIV+ North Carolinians and asked them for their support of legalizing syringe exchange in the state through the passage of S.B. 794, which was recently introduced. info: ncaan.org.
news notes: u.s./world compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff
Terror attack results in deaths at Florida bar
Regional TOY honored by state org
DURHAM, N.C. — Time Out Youth Center (TOY), 2320 N. Davidson St., was bestowed with the SHIFT NC Impact Award on May 13 in Durham, N.C. The award recognizes an individual, organization or collaboration that has made a significant, noteworthy contribution to adolescent sexual health in North Carolina during the past year. Thus, TOY was honored for raising awareness of and engaging the community around LGBT youth issues, while also doing amazing direct service for youth, SHIFT NC said. During its 25 year history, it has gone from providing support for Charlotte LGBT youth on a smaller scale to now having a brick-and-mortar facility that houses staff and programming across six counties. SHIFT NC began 30 years ago as one of the state’s leaders on teen pregnancy prevention as the Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention Campaign of North Carolina and has evolved to become SHIFT (Sexual Health Initiatives For Teens) NC. Today it seeks to improve adolescent and young adult sexual health. It started out as a work group of the United Way in Charlotte, but morphed into a non-profit. info: timeoutyouth.org. shiftnc.org.
HIV/AIDS advocates educate GA
RALEIGH, N.C. — On June 7, patients, healthcare providers, community leaders, and advocates gathered at the North Carolina
Photo Credit: Pulse, via Twitter
ORLANDO, Fla. — In the early morning hours of June 12, a lone gunman, Omar Mateen, entered the LGBT club Pulse and rained fire using an assault weapon leaving as of 9 p.m. on Monday, June 13 49 dead and over 53 wounded in Orlando, Fla. This single event became the deadliest mass shooting in American History. As of press time, reports from NBC News say that Mateen made a 911 call and pledged allegiance to the leader of ISIS prior to the attack. Across the nation and world, people have mourned the deaths and were saddened at the senseless loss of life from someone who was disturbed by those who were gay. His father even shared his shock and apologized for the shooting adding that his son “got angry when he saw two men kissing in downtown Miami a couple of months ago.” President Barack Obama made a statement saying, “Today, as Americans, we grieve the brutal murder — a horrific massacre — of dozens of innocent people. We pray for their families, who are grasping for answers with broken hearts. We stand with the people of Orlando, who have endured a terrible attack on their city. Although it’s still early in the investigation, we know enough to say that this was an act of terror and an act of hate. And as
Americans, we are united in grief, in outrage, and in resolve to defend our people.” He even issued an executive order to fly flags at halfstaff until sunset on June 16. Vigils were held after the attack and an outpouring from LGBT groups and organizations flooded the news. Gov. Pat McCrory even sent his sorrow to Florida Gov. Richard Scott. Additionally, prior to the Los Angeles Pride Parade, an unnamed suspect was arrested when after a search of his car possible explosives, as well as weapons and ammunition were discovered. There was no known connection to the Orlando attack. qnotes has more detailed and up-to-date news online at goqnotes.com.
June 17-30 . 2016
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life
Queer Arts
From a shattered world, artist shapes, fashions new reality Columbian-born Edwin Gil heals through his transformative craft by Bill Allen :: qnotes contributor
ence and then works intensively for a week with the students, completing a piece of artwork. “There are a lot of problems in LaMark,” he said. “There are a lot of kids who don’t finish high school. They hear my story and identify with me when I speak about being poor, how I came to the U.S., about my sexuality. Our goal is to help them to finish high school.” Gil’s first foray into the LaMark area was two years ago and the university and Gil were both astonished when 25 percent more students decided to stay in school. Thanks to that result, Gil is returning this fall to do the project in other schools in south Texas. Gil humbly noted that he was proud to have had a part in that, but observed that it is the power of art and his life story that have had an impact. The story that Gil shares is remarkable in and of itself. A native of Itagui, Colombia, Gil never intended to become an artist, though he always loved art and had aunts and uncles who painted. His father, however, was an alcoholic and Gil was abused from an early age. At age four he started working, helping to deliver lunches and picking up cardboard. As the oldest of six children, he had to help provide for the family. After the years of abuse, Gil finally ended up homeless at age 15 and was raped several times. “Another family took me from the streets,” he said, “and helped me to finish high school. When I talk with the students, they identify with my story. They don’t see me as a 45-year-old man…I tell them that they can keep pushing. You can build your life. Life is different pieces. Take them together and create a masterpiece.” Gil then met the man in Medellin who would become his life partner and moved in with him. They lived together for 10 years, during which time he finished a college degree in business and a master’s in psychology. But then came the most challenging time of his life. “FARC guerrillas (a rebel group in Colombia) tried to kidnap my partner and me,” Gil said. “My partner used to have a lot of money, but instead of giving in, he fought them. As I watched, they shot him twice in the head.” Things then got even worse. His partner’s Artist Edwin Gil fashions pieces of broken glass together to create innovative artwork that tells a story, as well as ‘repairing’ the world through its creativity. family tried to push him out of the country because they knew that they would have to split the partner’s money with Gil. The pressure grew created a green and red 8 foot by 12 foot artwork of restaurant roken after watching his life partner in Colombia be muruntil one day he was coming out of the university and he was owner Juliana Luna by painting on recycled glass and incorpodered and two attempts made on his own life, visual artist abducted on the street while driving his car. rating the thumbprints as well, using a mosaic style. Edwin Gil landed in Charlotte, N.C., looking for purpose and a “I thought they were going to kill me,” Gil said. “They kept “Everyone has different shapes. But all are part of the same focus which he eventually found in something else broken: glass. telling me how they were going to kill me. We are going to shoot community. It doesn’t [ask] what is your accent, what color is Gil, now an internationally renowned artist, is a firm believer your balls, they said.” your hair, your ethnicity or where you are from,” Gil said. “One in the power of art to transform and has dedicated himself to the The abductors, whom Gil believes were hired by his late of the most amazing things in the world is our diversity. We may idea of social art. partner’s family, kept Gil tied up in the trunk of a taxi from 7 p.m. to have different status, but we are just that, just different.” “Art is an amazing tool,” Gil said in a recent interview. “It 7 a.m. “I prayed and I asked God what can I do? Give me another He has created several works in the area, including several causes communities to talk about difficult topics, such as war opportunity,” he said. at Charlotte-Mecklenburg schools, a face of diversity begun at with peace.” He was let go, but it was the most painful and difficult time of the Charlotte Pride Festival in 2014 and his first work, a self-porGil’s most recent project, Faces of Diversity, focuses on workhis life. He planned to go to Australia and landed in Miami, Fla., trait. The latter two are currently on display in the Charlotte Pride ing with different communities, holding workshops and getting but the friend who was supposed to pick him up never arrived. office at 1900 The Plaza. participants to dip their thumbs in paint and make a thumbHe tried to get a job and apply for asylum there, but without sucGil envisions 111 different works as part of his Faces of print. He then takes the dozens, or in some cases hundreds, of cess. He finally got in contact with a cousin who was working in Diversity project that would be created around the world, but thumbprints and creates a large piece of artwork using some of Charlotte and came to North Carolina. more important to him is the impact that his life story and his the same techniques as creating a mosaic with the focus being a Broken, penniless and unable to speak English, Gil was artwork can make on society. He is currently working with the face of someone who represents the diversity of that community. able to land a job at the Coffey and Thompson art gallery, which University of Texas-Houston on projects in a very poor communiOne such work can be found at Luna’s Living Kitchen in South was then in Uptown Charlotte. He learned to frame pictures ty in South Houston known as LaMark, where he holds a conferEnd, where he asked customers to make their thumbprints, then
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and to restore paintings and eventually had the opportunity to restore a painting from the old Sears store Uptown that had been donated to South Mecklenburg High School. He researched the author Eugene Montgomery and worked carefully to restore the painting, and in the process was interviewed by The Charlotte Observer. That opened the door for Gil to have his first show with 100 paintings. It also allowed him to get a grant and to start working with the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Public Library to develop the first Hispanic cultural week in Charlotte, spotlighting artists from different Latin American countries beyond the traditional focus, which had been just on Mexico. Those events turned into the annual events Con A de Arte and Arte Si. Gil’s passion for art then led him to create the “Flag of Hope,” a work done with handprints across the state of North Carolina and which is now in Imaginon downtown. Another work was done at Statesville High School. “All of my projects incorporate community, whether it is a handprint, a thumbprint or something else,” he said. “…Especially for kids with the arts, they start understanding things they can’t normally understand.” Gil also created a work for his home country called “Nuestro Bandera, Nuestro Pais, Nuestro Hogar,” [Our Flag, Our Country, Our Home] which incorporated handprints on a canvas print that was given to then Colombian President Alvaro Uribe. But even though the Colombian artist was happy with the opportunities to produce social art, he had not found his own special way of doing art. That came through a serendipitous event. One day, Gil went over to the house of Coffey and Thompson owner Paul Thompson, the man who had offered Gil his first job in Charlotte. Thompson had offered to give him a door for his house, but Gil found something else. In a shed, he found a stockpile of old glass taken from the old gallery and from other old buildings which were torn down for the Bank of America building. Thompson’s dream had been to build a wall of glass but he had never done it. Gil felt an immediate connection to the glass. “The glass was talking to me,” he said. A little later that summer he was in an art workshop at Lincoln Center. “The workshop leader Barbara Ellmann posed the question ‘What type of art speaks to me’?” Gil said.
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That got him thinking about the glass again. He was used to working with glass, was not afraid of being cut by it and realized he had found his style. “An artist always find the medium that talks to him,” he recalled Ellmann saying. “Why don’t you do something out of glass?” That was five years ago and doing small projects, and then his selfportrait, he realized that blue was his color and came up with the idea of using paint on glass. “It is the same technique as using mosaics, using grout,” he explained. He immediately saw the symbolism of the broken glass and how people, including immigrants like himself, so often feel broken, but how piecing it together creates integration. Gil saw this as a way to promote his passion, which is social art. He has been excited — Edwin Gil to see the opportunities that are arising in Texas and how it is going worldwide. He has been invited to Milan, Italy because they are having a big problem dealing with immigrants. The mayor believed that art could be a way to help bridge the gap. Even though Gil’s vision is worldwide, he has a passion for the Queen City and for that reason is concerned about the impact of HB2. “Charlotte is an amazing community,” he said. “It is a bubble in the state. Everyone around here is very gay supportive. But when I travel in the rest of the United States, they ask me what is going on in North Carolina?” When he traveled around the state with the North Carolina “Flag of Diversity,” he said he didn’t run into this kind of problem. “I didn’t feel rejected for my sexuality or ethnicity,” he said. Gil is especially saddened by the impact HB2 is having on young people. “What the government is doing is crazy,” he said. “Kids will be our future governors or future mayors. I have hope for changes from the way things are now…This has affected me a lot. I’m openly gay and am accepted for who I am. But I see how the behavior of kids has changed in schools. Kids feel empowered to bring this [hatred] to school.” “This is not just about transgenders,” Gil continued. “Kids are making comments about people’s sexuality. It our responsibility to control that behavior.” In light of what has happened, he is looking for a place in Charlotte to do an outside work to show a transgender as part of his “Faces of Diversity” project. “Through the faces of people all around, one can become isolated from the community,” he said. “We need to show all faces and I want to find a place to be transgender focused.” Even though Gil has found a niche and a focus, he still continues to grow. Several years ago he explained that he was not in a happy place in his life and he suffered an aneurysm which caused him to lose vision in one eye. In the process he turned back to the practice of yoga, which helped him in making better choices, and became a part-time teacher at Charlotte’s oldest yoga studio, Charlotte Yoga. “Yoga and art is a nice complement,” he said. “They feed my soul.” He has since regained his eyesight and gained attention on social media for his 365-day yoga challenge. He has just started another 365 day challenge as well. The soft-spoken Gil, who now also has a partner of one year, is very content with his life. “I never dreamed to be rich, but to be happy,” he said, who wears as a reminder of that a tattoo in Thai on his right bicep which means “happiness.” Most of all he keeps his focus on art, which includes several exhibits in Charlotte and New York City later this year plus his work with the schools in Texas and the other opportunities to do his “Faces of Diversity” project. Gil is passionate about what it can do for others, because of what art did for him. “My quote is ‘Art saved my life,’” Gil said. : :
❝ Art saved my life! ❞
Edwin Gil (left) uses yoga as a complement to his artistic endeavors. He says that the combination ‘feed my soul.” Each piece Edwin Gil creates (right) is a process that requires patience, as well as attention to detail. Many utilize thumb prints or other items to make them truly unique pieces that tell a story. Photo Credit: All images compliments of Juan Zambrano
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Queer Arts
LGBT arts groups provide culture, social engagement Carolinas are replete with those who share their talents compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff
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f one can sing, play an instrument or share other gifted talents, the Carolinas are a sure spot to welcome volunteers who simply want to entertain. From the shore to the mountains, the LGBT community is rich in its array of options and opportunities to enjoy and witness as musicality reaches the rafters to rejoice in simply being alive. Chorus groups, performance and marching bands sit alongside theatre companies in providing specialized programming that is not found elsewhere. When that list becomes exhausted, there are also artistic sanctuaries for those who represent the visual arts. Here is a list of what is available for arts patrons: Bands Charlotte Pride Band Charlotte, N.C. charlotteprideband.org. Charlotte Pride Band provides an open, inviting environment for musicians of all ability levels while promoting the value and respect of LGBT and straight allied people in the
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Charlotte metropolitan area through quality musical performances. North Carolina Pride Band Greensboro, N.C. ncpmb.wordpress.com. The NC Pride Band, a non-profit organization, is an inclusive organization uniting communities through a shared love of music. Formerly known as the NC Pride Marching Band, the NC Pride Band is comprised of a marching band, a concert band and a jazz ensemble. Founded in 1987, band was formed as a lesbian drum corps using traditional Latin and African hand drums. In 1996, the band took a new direction and formed as a standard marching band with brass and woodwind instruments and marching percussion.
Illustration Credits: notes: nmarques74; drama masks, nezezon; movie camera, shorena ted; brush, wisannumkarng; maps,ad_hominem; via AdobeStock
Chorus Groups
gay and gay-supportive men to sing together. They produce two primary concerts a year, one in the spring and the other in the winter. In addition to their own concerts, they also lend their voices to other events throughout the year.
Cantaria Asheville, N.C. cantariaasheville.org. Cantaria is a voluntary, not-for-profit community chorus, organized to provide the opportunity for
Common Woman Chorus Durham, N.C. commonwomanchorus.net. The Common Woman Chorus is a “progressive” voice and “vibrant” musical community based
in the Triangle area that provides musical and theatrical productions that highlight the diversity and strength of our everyday lives and experiences while celebrating the local and global events that inspire and inform the community. Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte Charlotte, N.C. gmccharlotte.org. Through artistic achievement, education and engagement, the Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte endeavors to create a society which values and respects its LGBT members. It sup-
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ports a diverse cross section of the community through its community outreach programs, which include benefit performances, complimentary concert tickets and choral education programs. An emphasis is placed on persons living with and affected by HIV/AIDS, gay/lesbian youth, senior citizens, school and church choral programs and many more progressive causes. It’s ensemble performance group, 7th Son, is made up of eight men who perform at concerts and community events throughout the year. One Voice Chorus Charlotte, N.C. onevoicechorus.com. One Voice is a gay, lesbian and gay-affirmative chorus of Charlotte. Through its artistry it works to increase understanding and acceptance of LGBT individuals. Its achievement in choral music enables it to reach diverse groups, to overcome misperceptions and to grow personally, both as performers and as leaders in the community. It also has its ensemble group, Sotto Voce, who sing with the larger chorus and/or alone in community settings. Pride of Greenville Chorus Greenville, S.C. sites.google.com/site/prideofgreenville menschorus. The Pride of Greenville Chorus is comprised of a men’s, women’s and community chorus. It is an inclusive, community-based organization of gay men and gay-friendly individuals who seek to inspire and change lives through the power of music. It strives to entertain its audiences with artistic excellence, to build community through socialization with and support of its members and to raise awareness of positive images within the gay community of South Carolina. Triad Pride Men’s Chorus Greensboro, N.C. triadpridemenschorus.org. Triad Pride Men’s Chorus performs choral music to entertain, enlighten and enrich while promoting equality and social justice for all people regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity — fostering pride, understanding and acceptance. Triangle Gay Men’s Chorus Research Triangle Park, N.C. tgmchorus.org. The Triangle Gay Men’s Chorus is a non-profit performing arts organization that seeks to offer quality men’s choral music that is both enter-
taining and thought-provoking. It is committed to fostering an environment of professionalism, respect, pride and unity. Members are welcome regardless of orientation. Its goals are to strengthen the spirit and open presence of the gay community and to offer the public-at-large a positive image of this community. Womansong Asheville, N.C. womansong.org. Womansong is Asheville’s oldest and largest women’s community chorus, a welcoming 75-member community chorus and village. Film Festivals GayCharlotte Film Festival Charlotte, N.C. charlottelgbtfilm.com. The GayCharlotte Film Festival is an annual event held in the Queen City. It is a non-profit program whose goal is to entertain, enlighten and build valuable bridges of understanding, support and acceptance within and between the LGBTQ and ally communities in the Charlotte region. During festival times, directors and others assemble to provide panel discussions, as well as incorporate educational and awareness presentations from various scholars across the country. NC Gay + Lesbian Film Festival Durham, N.C. carolinatheatre.org/films/festivals/ncglff. The North Carolina Gay and Lesbian Film Festival is the second largest gay, lesbian and transgender film festival in the Southeast and features a diverse array of shorts, documentaries and feature films. The film festival celebrates a worldwide glimpse of today’s gay, lesbian and transgender life, helps bring the community together and features entertaining and sophisticated films and filmmaking. Some films have their premiere screenings at the festival and directors often are in attendance to share their thoughts on their film’s production and intent.
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Theatre Companies Queen City Theatre Company Charlotte, N.C. queencitytheatre.com. Queen City Theatre Company is a non-profit organization that exists to theatrically explore the human experience and celebrates the many different races, religions, genders and sexual orientations that exist in both Charlotte, N.C., and the world. It strives to create theatre that not only entertains, but enriches, educates and challenges its audience. Visual Art StillOut LGBT Photography Club Charlotte, N.C. stillout.org. StillOut is an LGBT and friends photography club who gather as the need arises. It caters to all levels of photographers, but most of its members shoot with a digital single lens reflex camera. ———————— For additions and corrections, email editor@goqnotes.com. qnotes attempts to provide a thorough and accurate listing of resources for its readers. Visit our website at goqnotes.com to find out more about these groups and their activities throughout the years. Also, check out our calendar listings to get details on upcoming concerts or events. And, check back with us in print for more information. : :
OUT at the Movies Winston-Salem, N.C. outatthemovieswinston.org. OUT at the Movies was founded in August 2004 by Rex Welton and Lee Mecum. Screenings are held on the second Saturday of every other month. Proceeds from screenings benefit the University of North Carolina School of the Arts School of Filmmaking and the Adam Foundation.
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Queer Arts
HB2 boycott hits Charlotte LGBT organization Campus Pride Camp Pride cancellations could cost the nonprofit upwards of $30,000 in lost revenue by Jeff Taylor :: Social Media Editor
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ver since the North Carolina General Assembly passed anti-LGBT House Bill 2, the state has been hit with a series of boycotts and cancellations. Businesses like PayPal and Deutsche Bank have nixed plans to expand here, costing hundreds of jobs, and entertainers and event organizers continue to cancel shows, with acts such as Bruce Springsteen, Pearl Jam and Cirque du Soleil saying no thanks to the nowtainted Tar Heel State. The purpose of the boycott is to send a message to North Carolina leaders that discrimination will not be tolerated. The economic impact is putting pressure on lawmakers to do something about HB2, whether that is a modification of the bill or a full repeal, as the LGBT community has been demanding. While well intentioned, that boycott looks to be doing some harm along with the good. The Charlotte LGBT college non-profit organization Campus Pride is beginning to feel the pinch of individuals choosing to steer clear of North Carolina. Executive Director Shane Windmeyer reports that they have had numerous cancellations for their upcoming Camp Pride event, an LGBTQ leadership academy for undergraduate students, as well as college faculty members. “The last two years we’ve had about 95 to 100 students attend, and then we have about 40 advisors or staff who attend as part of the advisor academy. Right now, we’re down by about 40 individuals, and that’s roughly $25,000$30,000 in revenue,” Windmeyer says. A number of states and cities have banned non-essential government travel to North Carolina and Windmeyer believes this is playing into the cancellations. “What we’ve heard is that folks have travel bans, they’ve been told to boycott the state. If
they don’t have a statewide travel ban, then cities do,” he says. When he says that the bans are for government travel, and shouldn’t be directly applicable for them, he reports that they are telling him they have still been told not to go. “It’s kind of a communication issue. It’s not really just about could they really come to North Carolina. Yeah, maybe, but they’re being told by artists, by entertainers, by other businesses, that, ‘We’re trying to put the squeeze on North Carolina. We’re trying to basically not support the state as a way to boycott and create some sort of action,’” Windmeyer says. “Some activists, young people, they’re [saying], ‘I’m an activist, and as an activist I am boycotting the state of North Carolina.’ I get that, but the problem is that there are LGBT young people in the state of North Carolina who need visibility, who need support. And Campus Pride, unlike 90 percent of our national organizations, is based in Charlotte, as opposed to New York, or LA, or D.C.,” he continues. “So, at the end of the day, Campus Pride chose to be in a southern city because that’s where the work needs to be done. And I think this is an example of the fact that we’re exactly where we need to be.” Campus Pride has been located in Charlotte since its founding in 2001. Since HB2 passed, they have been active in helping to protest it on college campuses, such as the University of North Carolina at Pembroke, North Carolina State University and the University of North Carolina at Asheville. Windmeyer recognizes that some may not feel welcome or safe in North Carolina at this time, which he understands. “A few people were concerned about their safety. There are some trans folks who are on our teaching team who said, ‘You know what? I
can’t go to North Carolina. I just don’t feel welcome or safe and I don’t want to deal with that.’ “I said, ‘Well I don’t want to put you in that situation, so, of course, don’t come if you don’t want to come.’ I totally get that.” For those who do attend Camp Pride, Windmeyer says they are taking extra safety precautions, such as having their meals catered and brought into their room instead of having students eat at the dining hall at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. They are also encouraging students to go to the bathroom in groups, as part of the I’ll Go With You campaign, since, as he points out, “[UNC Charlotte] is a public institution, so they don’t have the ability to make a restroom gender inclusive.”
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Boycotts & Benefits:
Artists respond to HB2 Solo performers, bands, theatre troupes and others just say no to anti-LGBT legislation by Jeff Taylor :: Social Media Editor
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ntertainers concerned about discrimination in North Carolina since the passage of HB2 have been alternately boycotting or playing and donating some or all of their proceeds to organizations fighting for LGBT rights. Here is a sampling of some of the groups that have cancelled performances, as well as those who have chosen to take the opportunity to turn their shows into benefits. Boycotts Bruce Springsteen Scheduled to perform April 10 in Greensboro. Statement (in part): “Some things are more important than a rock show and this fight against prejudice and bigotry — which is happening as I write — is one of them. It is the strongest means I have for raising my voice in opposition to those who continue to push us backwards instead of forwards.” Pearl Jam Scheduled to perform April 20 in Raleigh. Statement (in part): “The HB2 law that was recently passed is a despicable piece of legislation that encourages discrimination against an entire group of American citizens. The practical implications are expansive and its negative impact upon basic human rights is profound. We want America to be a place where no one can be turned away from a business because of who they love or fired from their job for who they are…We have communicated with local groups and will be providing them with funds to help facilitate progress on this issue.” Cirque du Soleil Scheduled to perform April 20-24 in Greensboro, July 6-10 in Charlotte and June 22-26 in Raleigh. Statement (in part): “Cirque du Soleil strongly believes in diversity and equality for every individual and is opposed to discrimination in any form.” Maroon 5 Scheduled to perform Sept. 11 in Charlotte and Sept. 12 in Raleigh. Statement (in part): “We don’t want to penalize our fans in North Carolina by not performing for them, but in the end it comes down to what we feel is morally right as we feel everyone should be treated equally.” Ringo Starr Scheduled to perform on June 18 in Cary. Statement (in part): “I’m sorry to disappoint my fans in the area, but we need to take a stand against this hatred. Spread peace and love.” Nick Jonas, Demi Lovato Scheduled to perform in June 30 in Charlotte and on July 2 in Raleigh. Statement (in part): “One of our goals for the tour has always been to create an atmosphere where every single attendee feels equal, included, and accepted for they are. We know the cancellation of these shows is disappointing to our fans, but we trust that
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you will stand united with us against this hateful law.” Lovato also wore a pro-transgender shirt during her Billboard Music Awards performance on May 22 and will be selling them on tour with proceeds going to Equality North Carolina and Time Out Youth Center. Blue Man Group Scheduled to perform June 17-19 in Charlotte. Statement (in part): “We value every individual’s right to live a dignified, vibrant life in full color. As such, we are joining the growing list of entertainment professionals in protest of North Carolina’s HB2 law by canceling our upcoming tour performances in Charlotte.” Benefits, performing in support of the LGBT community Mumford and Sons Performed on April 14 in Charlotte and donated to Equality North Carolina, Time Out Youth Center and the Equal Justice Initiative, a civil rights organization based in Alabama. Statement from stage: “I think that we’ve sort of been feeling an underlying culture of fear that’s creeping into things, where we live and where you guys are, and we just want to stand and celebrate really the American values of justice and love. So we’re gonna have a justice and love festival with you tonight,” said lead singer Marcus Mumford. Duran Duran Duran Duran performed April 16 in Charlotte, after initially considering cancelling. They invited Matt Hirschy of Equality North Carolina onstage with a petition to repeal HB2 in hand so that they could sign it. They also donated to Equality North Carolina and Time Out Youth Center. They released a statement on their website, which they also read from stage. It said, in part, “Yes here it is again, just plain old-fashioned prejudice, fear and oppression, the same old kind that’s blighted the human race, in varying degrees, for all of its history. Duran Duran is opposed to bigotry and discrimination in all of its ugly forms, and so it follows that we are opposed to the basic premise of HB2. We support the rights of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender community, to have equal opportunities. We support their rights to live free, happy, fulfilled lives.” Tacocat Tacocat performed on April 19 in Durham. They released a statement that read, in part, “While we respect the decisions of giant acts like Bruce Springsteen, Pearl Jam and other mega-musicians whose shows have real economic impact on the region (and whose music has a wide enough fan base to possibly reach the ears of slime-brains in power), we feel that pulling out of our show — an all-ages show booked months ago
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co-headlining tour, with shows in Asheville, N.C., on June 11, and Charlotte, N.C., on June 16. They released a joint statement saying that they would schedule no further dates in the state until HB2 Photo Credit: Matt Hirschy via Facebook is repealed. They also stated that their shows in Asheville and North Carolina would be there, and we can’t wait to benefit Freedom Center for Social Justice and meet you!” Southerners on New Ground. Cyndi Lauper Lauper performed on June 4 in Raleigh and donated proceeds to Equality NC. She also visited the LGBT Center of Raleigh ahead of her show continued from page 17 and invited LGBT youth to Windmeyer wants to see more LGBT share their experiences from the stage. organizations in the region, which he says will Interestingly, Lauper and Gov. Pat McCrory, require funding. He says we need to have more who signed HB2 into law, met back in 1999 groups that are firmly rooted in the South and when she was in Charlotte, N.C., headlining don’t “just parachute in when there’s an issue.” a fundraiser for the Regional AIDS Interfaith “That’s the way you create real systemic Network at the now closed nightclub Mythos change and ultimately impact people when it (It is harder to imagine them palling around comes to their hearts and minds,” he says. these days). “The sad part is that we have a national Of Monsters and Men movement that says it wants to see equality Of Monsters and Men performed in Raleigh on in southern states and in southern cities, but June 15. they don’t live there, they don’t breathe there. “We decided to play and support a local And the organizations that are living and organization which helps combat this bigotry. breathing there, not all of them are seeing In an effort to raise awareness to this issue, support,” he says. we are working with North Carolina Needs Not everyone has boycotted the state since You and will be donating 100 percent of merch the passage of HB2. In fact, there is a growing proceeds from our show to the LGBT Center trend of artists coming to the state and donating of Raleigh.” all or some of their profits to LGBT organizaDeath Cab For Cutie, Chvrches tions, such as Equality North Carolina and the Death Cab For Cutie and Chvrches are on a Members of Duran Duran present a petition for signature to Matt Hirschy of Equality North Carolina during their concert in Charlotte, N.C., on April 16. Afterward, the group contributed funds toward Equality North Carolina and Time Out Youth Center in protest of HB2.
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“We are appalled by how Gov. Pat McCrory and his conservative cronies have stoked the flames of fear around an undocumented, non-issue (i.e., sexual predators posing as transgender for the purpose of molesting children) as a way to not only discriminate against transgender persons, but also to undermine the constitutional rights of North Carolina’s entire LGBT community,” the statement read. “This nefarious brand of bigotry is embarrassing for the state of North Carolina and has no place in this great nation.” : :
Campus Pride
at the Pinhook, a queer-friendly/ran venue — would only further punish those being marginalized.” The band donated part of the door proceeds to Equality North Carolina and passed out Trans Life buttons. Against Me! Against Me! went ahead with their show on May 15 in Durham, N.C., with transgender front woman Laura Jane Grace burning her birth certificate onstage in protest of HB2. “Goodbye, gender,” she said while watching it catch fire. In response to calls to cancel the show, Grace tweeted, “Hell no! I’m even more eager to play North Carolina ‘cause of the bill! Let me know if there’s any activist groups that can come table the show.” Grace then asked Charlotte’s Time Out Youth Center via twitter if they would attend. They took up the call to action, tweeting back, “We’ll
Human Rights Campaign. Hundreds of thousands of dollars have been donated altogether. So far Campus Pride has not received any such donations. Windmeyer says that he emailed NC Needs You, a group working with artists to encourage them to play in the state and donate proceeds, to be included in the list of organizations on their website, ncneedsyou.com. At press time, he says he emailed them about two weeks ago and they have not responded or included Campus Pride on the list, which includes just over a dozen organizations, such as Equality North Carolina, American Civil Liberties Union of North Carolina, Progress NC Action, Youth OUTright, Southerners On New Ground and the LGBT Center of Raleigh. Those interested in donating to Campus Pride can do so through their website at campuspride.org. : :
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tell trinity by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com
How can I become a pro at dating? Hey Trinity, You write a lot about dating. In the game of dating, how does one become a pro? Dating Games, Miami Beach, FL Hey Dating Games, In the game of sports, athletes study the rules and practice different plays until they eventually get it right and turn pro. Dating is no different. Actually with life as well, it’s no different either. The best way to date or play sports or live life is to practice a lot, follow your instincts, have good self-esteem, ask lots of questions, don’t foul too much and never, ever give up! Continual trial and error promises you’ll eventually become a pro at dating and meeting your mate or many mates. However, pumpkin, keeping your dates is an entirely different game. Dear Trinity, My friends say, “Be careful of internet dating!” Is it really that dangerous? Cyber Stumped, Rehobeth Beach, DE Dear Cyber Stumped, Fact: Talking to someone online does not give you a true understanding of who they are. Fact: People will do anything for love! Fact: Graphic capabilities are so advanced today that even Mr. Potatohead could make himself look like a
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qnotes
June 17-30 . 2016
porn star. And, baby, Fact: Everyone makes up stories, tries to be liked, stretches the truth and some even enjoy hurting others! (Can you say Photoshop? Don’t be fooled by how someone portrays themself online. Be sure to explore more. My cartoon sure tells the story on this score!) Dearest Trinity, I’m married and dating someone on the side. I know it is wrong, but my marriage is not working out for many reasons. What should I do? Extra Marital, Wichita, KS Dearest Extra Marital, What should you do? How about what should you not do? How about not using someone else to get you out of a failing marriage? How about not ruining someone else’s life with your seductive, needy, puppy dog eyes? How about first getting divorced, separated, moving out or starting a threesome relationship? How about couples counseling for you and your primary partner? And, darling, how about a dry martini…for me and your spouse and your lover! Hello Trinity, No one expects anyone to wait until they’re married to have sex or to keep their virginity
a&e
anymore. Why should I wait or keep my virginity? ViginiDoubts, Portland, ME Hello ViginiDoubts, Now I know I have some good reasons somewhere. Oh, yes, here they are! Trinity’s Wholesome Reasons For Keeping Your Virginity 1. Being a virgin doesn’t make you better, but it absolutely does make your body and soul that much more worth fighting for. 2. The more sex and sexual partners you have, the older you will get and the older you will look. Isn’t that enough of a reason to keep it, honey? 3. When you keep your virginity, you keep your youth, your innocence, your beauty and your magic. 4. Sex is not a race, it’s a gift, which means don’t give it away so fast or let that first special someone have it so easily. 5. A fter you’ve given away your most precious and natural gift, there’s no guarantee the receiver of your gift will appreciate it for very long… especially without a contract! 6. You have your whole life to have as much intimacy with as many partners as you like, but you don’t have your whole life to be a virgin! 7. T he most treasured thing you can give someone you love is your virginity and a new credit card. (Just kidding about the credit card…sort of!)
8. T he risk of pregnancy, being used up before your time and/or having nothing to bargain with are also something to think about. 9. Just because everyone is having sex on TV, the internet and in the movies, doesn’t mean you have to! Be different! 10. L astly, it’s a new world with new diseases and new drugs to spend the rest of your life on. So why treat sex with such importance? Dah! info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.
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Pride 2016
Making it easier to come out to friends and family Five tips to assist in the disclosure process by Dr. Carmen Harra :: guest contributor
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can’t release old opinions of what’s “right and ith LGBT Pride month in full-swing, wrong.” So don’t take it personally — they’re Dr. Carmen Harra, a psychologist and simply stuck in false beliefs. If they love you relationship expert, shares her tips on surely they will come making it easier to come around. Give them their out to friends and famspace and time while ily. Perhaps, one of these still extending unconsuggestions might help ditional love to them. those who are facing this Contact them often challenge. and ask how they’re —————— feeling, if they need Prepare your audience. anything, etc. Help I believe it’s much easier them understand that to make an announcement your sexuality doesn’t of this magnitude to your Photo Credit: iQoncept via Adobe Stock change you one bit loved ones if you approach from the incredible person you are and always them individually. If needed, write out what have been. Do your part even if they’re tempoyou’ll say to each person, as you may have to rarily not responsive. put it in different words for the different people —————— in your life. Or, you can practice your speech in — Carmen Harra is an intuitive psychologist, front of the mirror. No one knows your friends best-selling author of seven books, and family as well as you do, so you can predict WABC radio show host, relationship expert just how each one will react. Plan your words and TV personality. wisely so that your big announcement goes smoothly. —————— Be proud. Announce your sexuality with conviction. Don’t be shy and don’t be afraid — your future happiness is at stake here! Nothing matters more than that. Remind your loved ones that just as they have a right to seek personal joy, so do you. Reiterate that this is something you’ve felt for a long time and that (if they’re against it) nothing they say can change what you feel inside of you. This way, you cut off the “ifs, ands, or buts” before they can even begin. —————— Explain with examples. The best way to make someone understand what you’re feeling is to relate it in terms they can apply to their own lives. Remind your loved one of a time they did something that maybe not everyone agreed with, but they had to do it for their own wellbeing. —————— Keep emotions under control. If you’re an emotional mess, no one will take you seriously. Keep the tears at bay when making your announcement. This way your loved ones will know you’re being serious and honest. If it comforts you, hold an object in the palm of your hand that signifies your strength. It can be an empowering letter you’ve written to yourself, a photo of your partner or even your wedding band if you’re already married. Know that this token is offering you emotional stability as you speak. This is an undoubtedly sentimental time for you, but you must take a deep breath and take control of your demeanor. —————— Give them time. If your friends and family don’t accept your lifestyle yet, give them time. Not everyone understands what you’re feeling inside. Many people allow close-minded thinking to dominate or downright ruin their relationships with others. In reality, they love the people around them dearly, but they just
June 17-30 . 2016
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EVENTS June-July 2016 SEP JUN MO
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The State of Our State, an Update on HB2 from ACLU of NC LGBT Center of Raleigh 324 S. Harrington St., Raleigh 7:30-9 p.m.
Raleigh Allies presents an evening with ACLU of North Carolina Legal Director Chris Brook, who will discuss the legal battle over HB2 and what can be expected going forward. Doors open at 7 and the discussion will begin at 7:30. All members of the LGBT community and its allies are welcome to attend. More information is available online. lgbtcenterofraleigh.com. –––––––––––––––––––– Continues through June 19 Heroes Convention Charlotte Convention Center 501 S. College St., Charlotte Heroes Con is one of the biggest annual comic conventions in the country. Fans can meet professionals in the field, as well as browse thousands of comics and original artworks from exhibitors and artists alike. One day passes range from $15-$20. Three day passes cost $40. Kids under 12 get in free. heroesonline.com/heroescon.
Beatles Tribute Night SEP JUN MO Knight Theater at Levine Center for the Arts 430 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m. Experience a night of music from The Beatles by a variety of acts, each performing one or two songs by the band. The concert is presented by Tosco Music Party, which specializes in eclectic shows, often featuring singalongs. Tickets range in price from $19.80-$30. Reduced rates are available for groups of 10 or more. More information and tickets are available online. blumenthalarts.org.
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SEP JUN MO
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‘An Act of Love’ Documentary Screening Fairmont United Methodist Church 2501 Clark St., Raleigh 7 p.m.
The documentary “An Act of Love,” tells the story of Rev. Frank Schaefer who had his ministerial credentials revoked by the United Methodist Church after officiating his son’s same-sex wedding. They were restored later on appeal. The film follows the family’s struggle to take on the United Methodist Church from the inside, as part of the Reconciling Methodists movement to increase acceptance of LGBT church members as equals. More information is available online. rum-nc.org.
Submit your event to our calendar!
You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a three-for-one entry. All Charlotte-area events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes.com), Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce (clgbtcc.org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com). LGBTQ Leadership Meet & SEP JUN MO Greet Free Range Brewing 2320 N. Davidson St., Charlotte 6-8 p.m. Meet representatives from Charlotte’s LGBTQ organizations and groups, find out what they do and make new friends. The event will aim to build a greater dialogue amongst those in the local LGBT community and foster a better connection and understanding of the work being done in the city. There is a cash bar and food trucks will be on site as well. –––––––––––––––––––– Democracy NC Mecklenburg Coalition Meeting Asian Library 1339 Baxter St., Charlotte 6:30-8 p.m. This meeting of the Democracy NC Mecklenburg Coalition will serve as a way to discuss current campaigns, ways for individuals to get involved as well as updates from advocates on what they are doing in the community. It will also function as a social media mobilization training. RSVP is requested online. Email mel@democracy-nc.org for more information. bit.ly/1Of7iMQ.
To see more upcoming events, visit goqnotes.com/calendar/
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June 17-30 . 2016
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Continues through June 25 SEP JUN MO Salisbury Pride E. Fisher St. & S. Lee St., Salisbury The Annual Salisbury Pride event is the largest festival in the town, with thousands in attendance in recent years. Local artists, performers and vendors will be on hand. Families are welcome. The street festival takes place June 25, from 11 a.m.-5 p.m. with an after party at Nashville Nights, located at 127 E. Innes Street. Country artist and LGBT rights activist Chely Wright will headline the concert on Friday night, June 24 at Nashville Nights. Tickets for that show are $25 in advance, $35 at the door and $50 VIP with a meet and greet. More information and tickets are available online. salisburypride.com.
Miss Charlotte Pride Pageant Chaser’s 3217 The Plaza, Charlotte 10:30 p.m.-2 a.m. The 2016 Miss Charlotte Pride Pageant, “Once Upon A Pride,” hosted by Charlotte Pride, will take place at Chaser’s in NoDa and will honor 2015 Miss Charlotte Pride Buff Faye. Former winners will also be featured, before a new Miss Charlotte Pride is named. $10 cover charge at the door. More information and registration are available online. charlottepride.org/pageant.
SEP JUL MO
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11th Annual Carolina Cup Tournament Park Road Park 6220 Park Rd., Charlotte The Queen City Tennis Club hosts its tennis tournament with the Triangle Tennis Club, a yearly intra-state event consisting of singles and doubles matches at various skill levels. The event fosters relations between the state’s two organized Gay and Lesbian Alliance clubs and also raises money for charity. The losing club makes a donation to an organization of the winning club’s choosing. The event is open to the public. Email queencitytennisclub@yahoo.com for start times and more information. Information is also available online. qctc.org. triangletennisclub.com.
SEP JUN MO
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Mr. Charlotte Latin Pride SEP JUL MO Chaser’s 3217 The Plaza, Charlotte 10 p.m.-2 a.m. Charlotte Latin Pride presents the Mr. Charlotte Latin Pride event, a Latin Pride extravaganza! Contestants will be judged on creativity, adherence to the carnival theme, onstage question, evening wear and talent. For more information, email Jaime Crespo at charlottelatinpride@gmail.com.
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Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/
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life
health and wellness by Jack Kirven :: personal trainer, qnotes contributor
Stacking, Part 3 of 4 Losing body fat In parts one and two of the series, I described the importance of knowing what’s in the food and products that you put in your mouth or on your skin, as well as options for creating your own recipe for muscle building and energy. This entry will break down the ingredients (as well as the functions of these individual products) to make a fat burning stack. The recipe included in this article will address various means of increasing your metabolism to burn calories before they are stored as fat, as well as accessing or using stored body fat and preventing it from being stored in the first place. Please remember to consult with a doctor before taking these supplements, and that this stack is part of a healthful diet and regular exercise program. Releasing Stored Body Fat This part of the stack encourages the fat cells beneath your skin to empty their contents, thus becoming smaller and taking up less space. The two most scientifically studied substances for this are caffeine and yohimbe. Please remember that there is already caffeine in the muscle building stack. Do not add more caffeine if you are doing both muscle building and fat burning stacks simultaneously. Use smaller doses of yohimbe in this stack as you gauge your tolerance, if you have included caffeine elsewhere in your day. Also, avoid yohimbe if you have liver, kidney or heart diseases, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding or if you have anxiety or other psychological disorders. Boosting Metabolism Once the fat has been purged from your fat cells, it needs to be burned or else it could be stored again. Boosting your metabolism will force your body to use the accessible energy it has at the ready. The two ingredients to choose between are green tea extract and capsaicin. Green tea extract creates a metabolic burn that causes you to burn more calories each day, whether you exercise or not. Capsaicin is the chemical that makes peppers taste hot. As with green tea extract, capsaicin increases metaboFunction Ingredient
lism. Be cognizant of whether or not boosting your metabolism negatively impacts your heart. Transporting Free-floating Fat Freeing fat from storage allows more of it to be used; however, even with an increased metabolism, you may not burn it all. To be burned, fat has to be transported into the mitochondria of your cells, where it is used for energy. L-Carnitine is an important transporter of fat into the nuclei of cells. Blocking Fat Conjugated Linoleic Acid (CLA) inhibits the fat cells under your skin from storing excess fat in the first place. Another benefit of CLA is that it not only inhibits the storage of fat, it also contributes to burning more fat. It is part of the group of good fats called omega-6 fatty acids. Accessing Genetics In addition to the omega-6 fatty acids, another group that may sound familiar to you is omega-3 fatty acids. Some food sources include seeds, nuts, fortified eggs and dairy products, and especially fish. Fish oil capsules are a concentrated dose of omega-3 fatty acid. It works for fat loss by activating genes that regulate fat burning while also deactivating genes that regulate fat storage. Of course, there are other health benefits of consuming foods with caffeine, green tea, carnitine, CLA and omega fatty acids that go beyond the intention of this fat burning stack; however, one of the benefits of stacking is getting the concentrated fat burning affects without consuming the extra calories in the foods that contain them. Use one ingredient from each function to test your tolerance levels and to create the combination that works best for you. : :
info: Jack Kirven completed the MFA in Dance at UCLA, and earned certification as a personal trainer through NASM. His wellness philosophy is founded upon integrated lifestyles as opposed to isolated workouts. Visit him at jackkirven.com and INTEGRE8Twellness.com.
Dose & With/Without Before/After Frequency Food Exercise
Releasing Fat Caffeine 200-400 mg Either Before: 2-3 x per day 30-60 mins Yohimbe 5-20 mg Either Before: 3 x per day 30-60 mins Boosting Metabolism Green Tea Extract 500-1,000 mg Either Before: 30-60 mins Capsaicin 40k-80k Heat Units With Food: Before: 2-3 x per day 30 mins before 30-60 mins Transporting Fat L-Carnitine 2-3 g With Food Before: Take with 2-3 x per day pre-workout meal After: Take with post-workout meal Blocking Fat CLA 1-3 g With Food: N/A 3 x per day Take with breakfast, lunch, and last meal of the day Accessing Genes Fish Oil 2-3 g With Food: N/A 2-3 x per day Take with breakfast, lunch, and last meal of the day
June 17-30 . 2016
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qnotes
June 17-30 . 2016