QNotes, July 28, 2019

July 26-Aug. 8, 2019

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July 26-Aug. 8, 2019

inside this issue

July 26-Aug. 8, 2019 Vol 34 No 07

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8 Where Do You Live When You’re Gay and Gray?

news

contributors this issue

Carlyle Addy, Buff Faye, Camilla K. Cannon, Vic Germani, Lainey Millen, David Aaron Moore, Stanley Popovich, Gregg Shapiro, Trinity, Rev. Paul Whiting

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charlotteobserver.com/1166/ a local news partner of The Charlotte Observer

Lea DeLaria’s World

The multi-talented performer has been on the comedy circuit for a number of years and is not a stranger to the audiences she engages.

6 MCC Leader Condemns Trump’s Racist Tweets 6 Showcase Features Black Community Artists 6 News Briefs 7 AFFA Responds to Stuckey Murder 7 GGF Meets Challenge Goal

a&e 10 The Hip-Hop Scene Gains Acceptance in CLT 13 10 Questions with Vic: Featuring Lea DeLaria 14 Dishing with Buff Faye:

Love Wins — Interview

Kristin Collins 16 Tell Trinity 19 Sesbastian Grey: More

Than 50 Shades

life 5

Mental Health: Problems Not Answered

by Drugs, Alcohol

views 4 NY Pride/World Pride 5 Spiritual Reflections: Healing the Soul w/ Music

events 18 18

Eric B. & Rakim Jaymes Mansfield

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Sebastian Grey

This fashion designer came to the U.S. from Columbia and worked as a hotel housekeeper. Then he got the break he was searching for when he joined the season 17 cast of “Project Runway” and walked away with the top prize.

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July 26-Aug. 8, 2019

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views

New York Pride/World Pride Jesse’s Journal

BY Jesse Monteagudo | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

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y now all of you have seen, heard, read or otherwise known about New York City Pride / Stonewall 50, the events celebrating the 50th Anniversary of the Stonewall Uprising. You also know about World Pride (June 26-30), held for the first time in the United States simultaneously with Stonewall 50. Millions of lesbians, gay males, bisexuals, trans and intersex people and our heterosexual allies gathered in New York to remember, observe and celebrate. If Stonewall 50 was about the past, then World Pride is about the present; a show of unity and determination in the face of government and religious opposition, at home and abroad. I was one of the fortunate ones who were in New York City during this momentous weekend; not as a celebrity, not even as a reporter, but as one gay man who wanted to share in this moment of history.

This was my third visit to New York.

My first visit, a week in July 1977, came after we lost Miami-Dade County to Save Our Children. My second visit, in the fall of 1997, was a few hours in the city with my late partner, Michael Greenspan. My third visit was longer, from June 26 to July 2. Each time, New York had something new to show me. This time, the Big Apple was decked out in her rainbow colors, from department store windows to the Empire State Building. I almost expected the Statute of Liberty to wear a rainbow colored dress, but she did

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not need to. Her presence spoke volumes about the rights of all, even in the face of an administration that seeks to destroy her dream.

Wherever you went, from Harlem to Brooklyn, queer people and our allies were in full force. Most of New York’s famous museums had LGBTQ exhibits. The Museum of the City of New York featured the work of Fred W. McDarrah, the Village Voice photographer who captured the Stonewall Uprising, as well as other pivotal events in LGBTQ and New York City history. The Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum displayed the work of Robert Mapplethorpe, whose erotic photos drove Jesse Helms into a tizzy. The New York Public Library at Bryant Park had two relevant exhibits: “Love & Resistance — Stonewall 50” showcased queer history and relationships while “Walt Whitman America’s Poet” honored the “Great Gay Poet” (1819-1892).

Religious groups, at least the liberal ones, joined in the celebration. Congregation Beit Simchat Torah, the city’s LGBTQ synagogue, held a special Pride Shabbat with guest speaker Tony Kushner.

Though I could not make it to all the Pride events, I managed to see a few, including World Pride’s Opening Ceremony on June 26 — with Whoopi Goldberg, Cyndi Lauper, Chaka Khan and Todrick Hall, among others — and the NYC Pride Parade on June 30. The media did its best to play up our differences: between white gay men and transgender women of color over who did

what during the Stonewall Uprising and between the established NYC Pride Parade and the Queer Liberation March over business participation and control. It did not really matter. Many New Yorkers went to the Queer March in the morning and to the Pride Parade in the afternoon. The NYC Pride Parade itself broke records, drawing a crowd of four to five million participants and bystanders. The Parade began at noon up Fifth Ave. and continued through the afternoon and early evening before it ended in Greenwich Village and the Stonewall National Monument. I watched the parade for a few hours opposite the viewing stand on Fifth Ave. and 26th St. before I took a break and then wandered over to the Village to view the rest of the parade. Our queer world was in full display, with groups from the USA, Canada, Latin America, the Caribbean, Africa, Europe, the Middle East, South Asia, East Asia, Australia… There were politicians and celebrities — Gov. Andrew Cuomo, Sen. Chuck Schumer, Vanessa Williams, Andy Cohen — but also “ordinary” LGBTQ people, representing all nations, classes, races, religions and lifestyles, being proud of who we are, and willing to share our pride with others.

NYC Pride 2019 had the distinction of being televised by a major network (ABC), not to mention many local stations. As a gay man among many LGBTQ people and allies, I felt I was in the middle of a world-shaking event; one that will not happen again, but which I will remember for as long as I live. Next year’s Pride ceremonies will not be as earthshaking, but no matter. Memories of Stonewall 50 and World Pride 2019 will give us the impetus to move forward, to fight whatever battles might come our way. : :

Healing the Soul with Music Spiritual Reflections

BY Rev. Paul Whiting | Guest Contributor

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good speech or sermon can stimulate the mind or touch the heart; but it is music that can heal the soul.

Whether disco from the 1970s and 1980s, classical, jazz, dance, gospel, country, R&B or multiple other expressions, music is spiritual. Not because it was necessarily written to be so, but for the way in which our bodies interpret it.

I learned long ago, that you don’t have to be in a religious place to have a spiritual experience — my first Pride (Britain 1981) taught me that. The songs of the Tom Robinson Band, such as “Sing If You’re Glad to be Gay”, or Sylvester (James Jr.) “You Make Me Feel” became the spiritual anthems of my own coming out. Labi Siffre’s “So Strong” was one of many songs that sustained us during the AIDS era. While Marsha Steven’s “The Body of Christ Has AIDS” shocked us into the reality.

Having worked with church music of differing genres through much of my life, there has always been a resistance from the institution to stray from the sacred. Of course, what one holds sacred another considers sacrilege.

Personally, I’ve always felt there’s never enough saxophone in church — but there speaks a frustrated sax player.

If music is my pathway to God, then LGBTQ music is my highway to God’s diversity. Inevitably, I write sermons and spiritual reflections to the rhythms of music. Yet I’m equally

conscious that music tears at the emotions, and for that reason some much-loved gospel has been sent to my closet — for they recall days of secrecy, judgment and ultimately exclusion. Love songs that were sung by people who didn’t know how to practice God’s love. But even those songs escape, every now and then, and dare to plead that I give them new hearing — much to my husband’s distaste. But when I do, I’m reminded that many of these songs were written and sung by people who were hiding in their own closet.

Fifty years ago, Marsha Stevens, the queen of LGBTQ Christian music, wrote “For Those Tears I Died.” It became widely popular and found its way into many Evangelical hymnbooks. Then she came out as lesbian, and she has often told how churches ripped her song out of their books. She has written, recorded and performed many songs since.

Music has given us allies; provided mediums for story telling and protest. LGBTQ music has given new voice to sonnets and poems written in times when love could not speak its name. (For example, Marc Almond’s “Feasting with Panthers” and Rufus Wainwright’s “Take All My Loves.”) The music world has exploded with LGBTQ artists from clas-

sic composers such as Samuel Barber and Michael Tippett; to jazz maestros such as our own (Hillsborough N.C.) Billy Strayhorn; to hundreds of songwriters and performers who sing our Pride anthems.

Yet here’s my conumdrum — all too often we fall in love with a song because of the music. In religious music, especially, a song can live or die based on the tune it’s assigned or the tempo it’s set to. There is a bold uniqueness in LGBTQ songwriters and collaborators who perform their own compositions, for they are proclaimers and prophets in our community. We have to pause our lives and listen.

There is so much great LGBTQ music waiting to be heard. A friend of mine hosted a two-hour weekly radio show, called the Rainbow Radio Network, on a university campus in Canada. The show ran for 20 years. Each week, he committed to exclusively playing music by LGBTQ artists. He was one of the most spiritual people I have met. : : Paul Whiting is Pastor at Metropolitan Community Church of Charlotte. He has danced with Boy George and had breakfast with Jimmy Somerville.

Six reasons why drugs and alcohol are not the answers to your problems Mental Health

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any people turn to drugs and alcohol to help overcome their daily stresses and anxieties. This can be a very big mistake and can make your problems even worse.

Here are six things to remind you why drugs and alcohol are not the answers to your mental health issues.

1. Drugs and alcohol are dangerous to your health: Drugs and alcohol can ruin your health. Regardless of what you may think, drugs and alcohol do nothing but add more problems to your anxieties, fears and depression. Many people have died because they abused drugs and alcohol.

2. Avoiding your problems does not work: Avoiding your fears and your problems through the use of drugs and alcohol is not the answer. Eventually, you will have to con-

BY Stanley Popovich | CONTRIBUTING WRITER front your fears and mental health issues. Save yourself the time and heartache and confront your problems now rather than later. You will be better off in the long run.

3. Drugs and alcohol can make things difficult: Drugs and alcohol can make your problems even more complicated. Many professionals and former addicts have said that drugs and alcohol will only add more misery to your situation. Be smart and learn how to cope with your mental health issues the right way.

4. You won’t learn how to manage your problems: When you decide to face your fears, you will begin to learn how to manage your stresses and anxieties. As time goes by, you will become better in dealing with your mental health issues. This will make it easier to find the answers to your fears and anxieties.

5. Talk to a sober addict: If you still think that drugs and alcohol will solve your problems, then try talking to someone who has already been down that road. By talking to a sober addict, you will get the truth on how drugs and alcohol can destroy your life.

6. Getting professional help is the best option: There are many professionals out there who can help you in dealing with your mental health issues. There is nothing wrong with asking for assistance and making excuses will not help your situation. Talk to a counselor who can increase your chances of getting better. : : Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology, Christianity and Non Resistant Methods.” For information, visit managingfear.com.

Photo Credit: freshidea via Adobe Stock

July 26-Aug. 8, 2019

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news MCC leader condemns Trump’s racist tweets SARASOTA, Fla. — The new moderator for the fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches have voiced her disdain over racist comments made by Donald Trump via Twitter. She joins a growing number of individuals globally who feel that Trump has stepped over the line.

“Racism has no place in the United States or in any country,” Rev Elder Cecilia Eggleston said.

Trump mocked Reps.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Ayanna Pressley, Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib by implying they were not Americans and should “go back” to where they came from. Omar emigrated to the United States as a Somalian refugee in the early 1990s and became a citizen at age 17. Ocasio-Cortez, Pressley, and Tlaib were born in the United States.

“The election of these four congresswomen reflects the rich diversity of the United States. It is also a testament to the American people, who want to see this diversity reflected in the governance of their country,” Eggleston added.

She continued saying, “Despite Trump’s recent tweet, ‘I don’t have a racist bone in my body,’ his record on issues of race is disturbing. In 2018, Trump made crude and racially deprecating remarks about Haiti and African countries. He was the chief promoter of the lie that Barack Obama, America’s first African-American president, was born outside the United States. And Trump responded to the white supremacist violence in Charlottesville, Virginia, by saying there were ‘very fine people on both sides.’

“It is shameful that President Donald Trump has chosen to attack these citizens. Racism has no place in the United States or in any country. In MCC, we believe in justice and are committed to resisting the structures that oppress people and we stand with those who suffer under the weight of oppressive systems. We cannot become complacent and desensitized to racially-charged statements. Our faith resides in God where love will win and fear and hatred will wither in love’s shadow. We cannot be silent,” Eggleston said. info: mccchurch.net.

— Lainey Millen

Showcase features black community artists

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Resident Culture Brewing Company’s barrel room has 1,700 square feet of space and it was still hardly enough for the crowd at Charlotte Black Pride’s Centerstage singer/songwriter showcase on July 17. Organizers brought chairs from the main bar throughout the night, and by the time the main event was over, the space was standing-room only.

Organizers started with the definition of three words. Empower. Culture. Arts.

This event was a night of live performances and community, but it was also a reminder that artistic creation can be a powerful force for change. During lineup changes, volunteer coordinator TG Mathews Cox encouraged attendees to show up for the community meeting the next night, where Charlotte Black Pride planned to discuss local and state politics and have what she called “hard conversaCharlotte Black Pride Centerstage artists (clockwise from top left): Tiffanie McCall, Frankie B., Kym tions” about the state of the community.

Randall, Jermaine Nakia Lee and TG Mathews Cox and Leslie Isai Oliver. (Photo Credit: Carlyle Addy) Performers sang about everything from relationships to self-empowerment.

They shared the stage several times to perform songs written by each other, including several by event organizer, songwriter and playwright Jermaine Nakia Lee. Lee stayed near the back of the stage when he performed, and only joined in on songs done by the full group. The event also advertised 11 performers, with Lee being the 12th.

When a performer was up for a solo performance, other singers were singing along by the side and dancing to each other’s music.

Performers also joined the audience in singing happy birthday to several community members.

Leslie Isai Oliver, going by her stage name Jazmina, had the crowd singing along with her to the lyrics, “What is gonna fix it? Love is gonna fix it.”

Oliver is a pastor and a teacher. She said that her spirituality helps inspire her music, but she tries to reach everyone. Before the main event, Oliver was sketching patterns in her effort to learn how to draw.

As the showcase drew to a close, Jazmina led the final scheduled performance of “On the Other Side” with the rest of the night’s performers joining her. After the main event, performers freestyled with each other, covering classic and modern music and sharing the stage. info: charlotteblackpride.org.

— Carlyle Addy

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N.C. not good for dating

The [Raleigh] News & Observer has reported that two North Carolina cites are “among the worst of the country’s largest urban areas when it comes to their gay dating scenes, but other Southern cities are among the best,” according to a study conducted by Bespoke Surgical. Those besting the Tar Heel State’s two are New Orleans, La; Austin, Texas; Tampa, Fla.; and Orlando, Fla. Charlotte, N.C. came in at 42 in the analysis of 49 of the largest cities in the U.S. Data was collected from a number of sources to arrive at the results. Joining Charlotte in the bottom were Nashville and Memphis, Tenn. and Virginia Beach, Va. On a possible total score of 50, Raleigh, N.C. came in at 13.7 and Charlotte at 20.2.

info: bit.ly/2JQX6KY.

Pride flag impacts beach town resident

Danielle Guido hung an American Pride flag outside her home prior to July 4th as a statement to her neighbors. She wanted to “make America great again” by showing her support for the LGBTQ community. Guido was overwhelmed by a letter she received from an anonymous mother who offered her appreciation for the flag hanging and offered up that her transgender son smiled every time he drove by. The son also penned a note, thanking Guido for her bravery and saying that it was going to” inspire someone else, too.” ABC 15 News asked its viewers to come forward if they were the one who wrote the letter. A couple of days later, the station received an anonymous letter, and thanked them for “taking the time to report on something so positive. … Your reporting has truly touched our family.”

info: bit.ly/2JTtU6c. bit.ly/2JZdvwL.

ENC introduces newsletter

Equality North Carolina has launched their new monthly “State of Equality” newsletter. It details “everything you need to know about the work of our organization and the ongoing fight for equal rights and protections across our state,” said Equality North Carolina Executive Director Kendra R. Johnson. Items covered in its first edition included: news on a Pride reception at the governor’s mansion; praise for Hendersonville, N.C.’s inaugural Pride celebration; a look at the organization’s website relaunch; and more. It also included a list of upcoming events, volunteer opportunities and new hire news.

info: equalitync.org.

Ministry to work with Catholics

SC Equality Executive Director Jeff Ayers has reported that Miracle Hill Ministries has “clarified” its “spiritual identity” and decided that they will no longer refuse to work with Catholic foster parents (or employees). SC Equality, Lambda Legal and the ACLU lawsuit will continue to move forward despite the change due to the ministry’s refusal to change their policy toward same-sex couples wishing to adopt or foster children. The federal lawsuit was filed earlier in the year on behalf of a Greenville same-sex couple who were turned down over their request to be foster parents because they did not meet Miracle Hill’s religious criteria.

info: scequality.org.

Errata

In our “A Love Supreme” feature in the July 12 issue, we inadvertently misspelled Katina Parker’s name in the caption. We had listed her as Katrina instead of Katina. We regret the error.

AFFA responds to Stuckey murder

GGF meets challenge goal

NORTH CHARLESTON, S.C. — The Alliance for Full Acceptance (AFFA) has responded to the murder of Denali Berries Stuckey, a local transgender woman, on July 20.

Initial reports misgendered and dead-named and AFFA has been in communication with the North Charleston Police Department, advocating that the department correct its reports — which have now been corrected. Friends of Denali confirmed that she identified as transgender and used feminine pronouns.

AFFA, Charleston Pride, We Are Family, Charleston Area Transgender Support, Charleston Black Pride, SC Equality and other community leaders organized a vigil in Stuckey’s memory on July 22 at the Equality Hub space at 1801 Reynolds Ave. The organization issued the following response from Executive Director Chase Glenn, who also identifies as transgender: “I am heartbroken and outraged by the news of yet another murder of one of our transgender community members. Denali is the third known black trans woman to have been murdered in South Carolina since 2018. While the greater community may be either unaware or disinterested in this news, it is important to understand the epidemic of violence against trans women of color and the crisis point at which we are now and have been for years.”

Recently, the Transgender Law Center and Southerners on New Ground released the Grapevine Report showing just how widespread violence against the transgender community is in the South. Fifty-eight percent of transgender women and femmes surveyed reported experiencing high levels of violence by strangers.

“In this moment, we are focused on our responsibility to honor and memorialize Denali as she chose to identify herself, while raising much-needed awareness among the general public about the violence perpetrated against the transgender community — and more specifically trans women of color.

We refuse to become numb. We will continue to say the names of these women and remember them how they would have wanted to be remembered,” AFFA stated. info: affa-sc.org.

— Lainey Millen

GREENSBORO, N.C. — The Guilford Green Foundation & LGBTQ Center recently sent out a challenge goal to the community and was able to raise $23,000 in 22 hours to reach its $75,000 goal.

Now the Dawn S. Chaney Foundation is giving the organization $25,000 to net an even $100,000.

Because of the success of the challenge drive, Chaney has upped the ante and will continue to match all contributions made before Aug. 16 up to $25,000. Funds raised are going to the building of the new LGBTQ Center and fund the work that will happen there. Those who give $100 or more will have their names displayed on the donor wall of the facility. To make contributions, visit guilfordgreenfoundation.org/brighterfuture or by texting CENTER2020 to 44-321.

The initial capital campaign goal was to raise $60,000.

In the meantime, construction has begun on center. The new space, located at 121 N. Greene St., is larger and more visible than the current LGBTQ Center space and is accessible and located on the ground floor.

Plans include upfitting the 1,800-square foot location with a new kitchen, lighting, carpeting and paint; purchasing new furniture and equipment for an event and gathering space for 50 people; and creating welcoming and collaborative spaces that feature a lounge, small group meeting room, and expanded resource library, the foundation shared.

Other ways to help include: volunteering to work at the center (contact center@ggfnc.org if interested); donating gently used clothing to the transgender clothing closet or a book from the center’s Amazon wish list to the its Queer Library (bit.ly/ggflgbtqcenter); joining in an upcoming event; and/or telling friends about the center. info: guilfordgreenfoundation.org.

— Lainey Millen

July 26-Aug. 8, 2019

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life

Where do you live when you’re gay and gray?

Charlotte’s Senior LGBTQ Community Facing Challenges in Housing

BY David Aaron Moore |Guest Contributor

Mary Groce (left) and her partner Susan Atlas and Frank Potopa find the lounge area to be a place where they can socialize with other residents of the John C. Anderson Apartment Building. In the upper right is a portrait of John C. Anderson. The artwork on the left wall are photographs of the mural that graces the outside wall of Philadelphia’s LGBTQ community center. Residents can also find books to read in the lending library located in the lounge area. (Photo Credit: Jim Yarbrough)

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here’s a story I recall as a younger gay man I’ve heard repeated a few times over the years since, in some form or another.

Two elderly women, who had shared the same home for most of their adult lives, had begun to face health issues and physical challenges. Marriage Equality was somewhere in the distant future, and the couple had no legally binding paperwork to keep their relationship safe and protected.

As their lives deteriorated, eventually wellmeaning, but ignorant members from both of the couple’s families swooped in and separated the two women by placing them in elder care facilities states apart from each other, but close to their perspective biological families. Though the end result was never made clear to me, it isn’t difficult to imagine the heartbreak and emotional isolation that followed, and its lack of benefit toward psychological and physical well-being.

The story was shared during a time when the American Psychiatric Association had removed gay and lesbian sexual orientation from a list of mental illness just over a decade prior. A then-deadly disease was stealing the lives of countless gay men throughout major U.S. cities, and most Americans feared or barely tolerated and understood what was then referred to as simply The Gay and Lesbian Community.

While scenarios such as the one I recalled may not play out quite like they did in years past, anti-gay bigotry still exists, and our community still faces challenges and discrimination.

How many Gay Seniors Live in Charlotte?

According to a Gallup Poll conducted between 2012 and 2014 and published in qnotes in March of 2015, Charlotte Metro then had an LGBTQ population of ap-

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proximately 90,000. Considering the rate of growth since that time, it is likely that tally has increased to somewhere over 100,000. Applying the same informational chart used for the community as a whole, it is likely that the current over-65 LGBTQ population numbers around 10,000.

What we can’t answer specifically with current data is where those 10,000 fall on this list: • Rolling in Dough • In the Middle Income bracket • Of meager means Given how the economy is impacting the mainstream community at large, it’s reasonable to assume the LGBTQ population is little different. Most gay seniors are surviving Social Security paycheck to paycheck.

A smaller percentage falls into relative comfort, or the Middle Income bracket, while an even smaller number has substantial savings or is wealthy enough to truly enjoy their retirement years without worry.

LGBTQ Challenges in Secure Senior Housing

The LGBTQ community has seen a steady increase of acceptance as the 21st Century continues to move forward. According to a USA Today poll, 63 percent of Americans support Marriage Equality. A Quinnipiac University poll confirms 92 percent of Americans believe laws should protect gays and lesbians from being fired because of their sexual orientation. CNN’s poll shows us that, despite Donald Trump’s discriminatory order banning transgender individuals from serving in the military, 73 percent of Americans feel they should have the right to serve their country.

But let’s break this down to a personal, familial level.

In an accepting family with mostly heterosexual children and perhaps one gay or lesbian offspring, where does the responsibility still tend to fall when it comes time to care for ailing and elderly parents?

The gay kid.

And it doesn’t matter if you’re single or partnered, or you have children or not.

The reality is, no matter how approving America has become on a political level, individual families by and large, continue to show a marked lack of respect for the non-heterosexual and likely childless sibling.

That can become more problematic as the LGBTQ sibling enters into their own senior years.

Married or partnered gay and lesbian couples who lose their significant other for failing health reasons or advanced age can still find themselves in a tug of war with their loved one’s family over property and personal belongings, or battling it out with a former employer over spousal benefits.

Single LGBTQ folk can also face their own personal brand of discrimination and hardship, it is oftentimes made even more difficult without a support network.

Dan Van Mourik initially moved to Charlotte in 1982 to take a position with the local theme park Carowinds. Later he became the associate editor of qnotes and eventually served as a manager at White Rabbit Books. Now he’s 70 years old, retired and a homeowner in the city’s Belmont neighborhood, just northeast of Uptown.

While his home is an old style mill house built in the 1920s with little updating or remodeling, the surrounding area has become a real estate hot spot because of its proximity to Center City Charlotte.

Despite his years, Van Mourik is in excellent health.

“But you never know when that could suddenly change,” he says with a chuckle. “I could get hit by a bus tomorrow or become ill and require senior care at a facility at a moment’s notice.”

Van Mourik’s situation is not a particularly unusual one: While his current income allows him to qualify for various benefits, should he find the need to move into permanent senior care residence, he would likely lose his see next page u

offer healthcare services but does assisted living or full care facility arise. have an in-house social worker to The one-time fee potential Aldersgate help the residents navigate some residents are required to pay would of their needs. Futhermore, it likely absorb Van Mourik’s cash from provides a social atmosphere for the sale of his house, placing him back LGBTQ seniors, comfortable and in an income bracket that would proaffordable living quarters, a multivide him with a myriad of governmentpurpose room that frequently offered senior benefits. plays host to fabulous dinner parThis could be a solution for Van ties and the beautiful Stonewall Mourik in that Aldersgate is a place Gardens. Although management he can be himself. That is somehad originally intended a manithing Shelley is particularly proud of cured outdoor area, residents of Aldersgate’s effort with the LGBTQ the building offered to maintain community. the spot, turning it into an award“We are the only facility in the nawinning garden recognized by the tion to have platinum-level certification local Horticultural Society as the from SAGE (Services and Advocacy for best Urban Garden for multiple LGBT Elders),” he says. “We’re in our years in a row, thanks to Frank second year.”

Potopa and Elizabeth Coffey Visit Aldersgate (aldersgateccrc.

Williams, who serve as the primacom) on the Internet for more details. ry gardeners. Cornelia Weathers While SAGE (sageusa.org) has is in charge of the roses. proved to be an invaluable resource “The roses are beautiful,” says for seniors throughout the U.S., While the cost of living in a “Seniors Only” community Groce. “A couple here offered to Charlotte does not currently have a can be daunting, especially a facility that provides services take care of the site regularly, and chapter. As reported in qnotes last and amenities from status quo health to intensive care, Philadelphia Gay News publisher Mark Segal many of the residents help out year (bit.ly/2JV3uAW), an attempt to there are options out there. All too often they may not and newsletter editors of John C. Anderson from time to time. I think it can be establish one is underway via the be LGBTQ welcoming, making them inappropriate for Apartment Building. In the background is an very therapeutic.” efforts of Time Out Youth Center and married senior same-sex couples, or a pathway back into a historical photograph from an early equal The six-story apartment Charlotte LGBTQ Elders. long-forgotten closet to achieve peaceful coexistence. rights protest in Philadelphia, Pa. building, which boasts 56 units, Involvement and support is requestIn Charlotte, one facility reaching out to the LGBTQ (Photo Credit: Jim Yarbrough) officially opened Feb. 24, 2014. ed from the community to establish a community is Aldersgate.

To qualify for residency, SAGE chapter here. More information Located on the grounds of what was once known as tenants must earn between $8K and $33K annually. The can be found at Charlotte LGBTQ Elders (charlottelgbtelders.

The Methodist Home, Aldersgate today is an all-inclusive, building offers two floor plans, each with one bedroom. com), as well as a Facebook page under the same name. multi-cultural welcoming facility with employees who are They range in price from $752 to $894. All the building’s given sensitivity training aimed specifically at directly benexpenses are covered by the rental income. It does not efiting the LGBTQ community receive or need outside subsidies.

“We want everyone who is interested in making their The Anderson was built for a total cost of 19.5 home here to feel welcome,” says Brooks Shelley, director Resources for LGBTQ senior care and residential facilimillion dollars. of marketing and brand strategy at Aldersgate. ties popular with LGBTQ seniors can be found throughout Philadelphia gay activist Mark Segal (an active mem“Gay, lesbian, straight, trans, Christian, Muslim. the U.S. in larger cities such as Chicago (the Town Hall ber of the community since the 1960s) and the nonEveryone is welcome here.”

Apartments offers 79 units in an active, predominantly gay profit dmbFund (dmbfund.org), named for Dr. Magnus Aldersgate is located on Shamrock Dr. and Eastway Dr. neighborhood), Los Angeles (Triangle Square Apartments has Hirschfeld, joined forces with Penrose Partners, a local in East Charlotte. For all intents and purposes, it’s practistudio, one and two bedroom apartments for residents age housing developer, to raze an older building and construct cally a small town within a larger city, boasting individual 62 and over), New York (the 145-unit Ingersoll is set to open the JCAA. The project received two million dollars in grants houses, apartments, dining facilities, movie theaters, cofat summer’s end), San Francisco (Open House operates two from the city, six million from the state and 11. 5 million in fee shops and more. buildings on Laguna St. with a total of 150 affordable units) low income housing tax credits.

Shelley explains how the process works, for those and Houston (construction of a $16 million facility in the city’s Those federal grants and tax credits are why the buildinterested in exploring senior residential living there.

Montrose neighborhood is currently under way). ing must be open to all individuals and not exclusive to the “You can choose to come here at any point on the In Philadelphia there’s the John C. Anderson Apartment LGBTQ community. continuum,” he offers.

Building (JCAA)(bit.ly/2JVh8E4), named after an AfricanCurrently the building is managed by Pennrose “We have residents who are perfectly healthy individuAmerican Philadelphia City Council member instrumental Properties, DMH and onsite manager Kecia Hilliard. als, some actually still choosing to work, who live in the variin the passage of the city’s civil rights bill protecting sexual Designed with the urban-oriented LGBTQ senior in ous cottage, ranch style and apartment homes we have.” minority individuals. mind, residence there offers easy access to shopping, “We also have assisted living facilities, skilled nursing The JCAA is one of the first of its kind built specifically public transportation and dining. care and memory care.” to cater to the LGBTQ community. That information is Residents initially pay a one-time beginning fee, with prominently displayed on the outside and inside of the pricing based on the kind of dwelling they choose or need, building. However, that doesn’t preclude residents both and then a standardized monthly fee to cover all needs. straight and gay.

Here’s where Van Mourik may likely find the resolution Mary Groce and her partner Susan Atlas reside there Now that we’ve examined the Charlotte Metro LGBTQ to his concerns, should the desire or need to move to an and have for the past two years.

Senior Community, challenges that it faces, opportunities “We signed up for it five years ago,” that it currently has and things that could be, what are the Groce recalls. “There’s a waiting list.” answers to the main question that we must ultimately face at (Currently there are about 300 on the home? How do we take care of our LGBTQ senior citizens? waiting list.)

Taking a lesson from the history books of AfricanAs fate would have it, the couple was American communities in places like Atlanta and Charlotte, offered the opportunity to move into the we must look within and out. building at a time when they needed it Reach out to business entrepreneurs within our the most. community and those who are supportive outside of our “We were both dealing with illness,” community. says Groce. “With the expenses that were Every culture has different needs. Ours is no differincurred we really needed to be here.” ent. Most certainly it is of the utmost importance for our The excitement in Groce’s voice while LGBTQ elders to be respected and valued for the paths talking about living in the JCAA is evident. they paved to make life the way it is for us today and to Not only is she a resident, she is also the enjoy their golden years as much as possible. editor of the building’s newsletter, so When you think about giving back to the community she’s well-acquainted with her neighbors. ask yourself, what can I do to help an LGBTQ senior? : : “It’s a great mix of people,” she says.

“It’s about 40 percent straight and 60 perThis story was produced by the Charlotte cent gay. There are only three couples, Journalism Collaborative, a partnership of and most of the gay residents are male.” six media companies working together in an To be clear, the building is a senior effort started by the Solutions Journalism Network and funded The garden at John C. Anderson Apartment Building provides a peaceful place to enjoy nature residence facility. It does not currently and the out of doors. (Photo Credit: Jim Yarbrough)

by The Knight Foundation.

benefit qualifications because of the amount of money he would receive from the sale of his home.

“I’m between a rock and a hard place, and I haven’t found an answer,” Van Mourik explains. “I’m trying to plan for the future, but I don’t know how to at this point.”

With no husband or partner, Van Mourik is on his own.

He has no surviving family members he is close to or has had contact with in the last 20 years.

While a solution may seem elusive, some creative thinking outside the standard box could provide Van Mourik an answer.

Theoretically, signing the house over to a trusted friend who maintains an account for him with the funds available he would otherwise receive as a direct payment, could allow Van Mourik access to the money in the form of an exchange of gifts. In this manner, his financial assets would not increase, leaving him in a position to continue to qualify for needed healthcare benefits and more.

Read on further for what might prove to be a resolution for Van Mourik’s dilemma.

How Welcoming are Eldercare Communities for LGBTQ Folk?

Current Solutions in Other Cities

Where Does Charlotte Go from Here?

July 26-Aug. 8, 2019

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The hip-hop scene gains acceptance in CLT Three Local Artists Share Their Experience

BY Camilla K. Cannon | QNOTES CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Eli. (Photo Credit: from artist’s gallery)

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hen local hip-hop artist Eli posted a Facebook status this past Pride month coming out as bisexual, his first public declaration of his queer identity, he wasn’t sure what to expect.

His decision, aided by some liquid courage worked up after a night on the town with his cousins, came from a desire to show his solidarity with the local queer scene in Charlotte: “Also being a person of color, I know injustice and I know oppression firsthand, and I just wanted to put myself out as an ally, not only for people I know that are a part of the community, but for myself as well.”

Eli received a largely positive reception from his community and the local music scene in Charlotte, a reaction that reflects increasing acceptance of LGBTQ Charlotteans.

Nonetheless, Eli has no illusions about the reality of being a queer black man in the South, stating,“I wake up every day in the skin that I’m in, so I know that you don’t really know what the day’s gonna bring.”

Eli and fellow Charlotte artists Bird and Celeste Moonchild each hold widely differing understandings of how their queer identities influence their music, and these differences also affect how they choose to navigate the sometimes tense world of being an openly queer person in a Southern independent music scene. Bird explains that she does not identify as a “queer rapper” so much as “a rapper who is queer.” She states, “I don’t see my identity as abnormality. I am who I am. My sexuality doesn’t define how I present to anybody.”

Eli has always striven to write songs that are widely relateable, favoring ambigous and universal lyrics over hyper-specific mentions of particular relationships and experiences, an outlook that Bird shares. Nonetheless, he has noticed that his queer identity has set him apart in terms of both song structure and lyrical content, even before he had fully realized and publicly claimed his identity.

When he was working with a collective of primarily straight artists, for instance, Eli felt that their songs “would always have a central theme, and it’s kind of like all their stories were written the same way, and they would always notice that mine were different.” One of Eli’s most impactful conversations with a long-term friend and fellow Charlotte artist, who told him, “‘You’re really different from the rest of us; you’re the most creative person I’ve ever met.” Eli explains, “Hearing him say that galvanized me and helped me to better understand that my music and experiences are definitely different from other musicians, as a queer man of color.” Although Eli is careful not to pigeonhole himself, he knows that his newfound outness will positively impact his career: “Performance-wise, I can be more

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myself. As far as musical content, lyrical content, even when I compose, it feels a little freer.”

Celeste Moonchild has a very different outlook on how her identity has impacted her work. Although Celeste’s early songs were less direct — a quality she attributes to “not fully understanding myself, and kind of sugar-coating myself to be more digestable to people” — her identity as a queer black woman has become increasingly central to her music. At a certain point, Celeste explains, she realized, “Oh no, I’m very queer, and I am very Black...those things won’t go away and I’m not going to shy away from them.” Celeste expresses this not only through her music, but through the public image she projects and the choices she makes about how to conduct her career.

The new music video for her single “Science,” for example, is “very queer,” showcasing her identity as well as lyrics boldly calling the systemic racial injustices she’s experienced. Celeste feels that her unapologeticness queerness and blackness has not been without consequence in Bird. (Photo Credit: Yelyzaveta Zatirka) Charlotte; although some venues are welcoming to her music, she has also experienced promoters and crowds who attempt to censor and react badly to her lyrical content. As gentrification displaces black and working-class populations and replaces them with a whiter, wealthier crowd, Celeste says, formerly welcoming businesses have sought safer, more digestible acts.

All of the artists have been affected by the recent transformations of the Charlotte hip-hop scene. This year, Knocturnal, one of Charlotte’s most diverse and long-running hip-hop nights, announced that it was transitioning from its weekly events at Snug Harbor to bi-weekly events at SERJ on Central Ave. Common Market, right around the corner from Snug Harbor on Commonwealth Ave., also announced that its weekly hiphop night, long a fixture of the Plaza Midwood creative scene, would be migrating to Recess on Siegle Ave. While the relocation of Knocturnal and hip-hop night can be a sign of a “good problem” — the increased social interest in hip-hop in the city — it can also be seen as an indicator of the shifting and social and real estate market of Charlotte. Although SERJ and Recess are both located in Plaza Midwood, the fact that they are located off of the popular Commonwealth/Plaza strip also makes a decrease in foot traffic likely. Celeste claims that, in addition to the well-known problems of rent hikes and the shifting tastes of the neighborhood, many venues are increasingly subject to noise complaints for hip-hop shows, an occurence that accompanies gentrification and displacement in many cities.

Despite these difficulties, Eli, Bird and Celeste all agree that there is potential and momentum in Charlotte’s hip-hop scene. “With Black music in Charlotte, I’m discovering its really a whole subculture. It’s a powerhouse.”

Knocturnal, Eli and Celeste list Snug Harbor and NoDa’s Crown Station as some of the most welcoming and consistent venues for queer hip-hop in Charlotte. Su Casa, a recurring dance party hosted by Plaza Midwood bar Petra’s, is also a highlight of the scene. While queer artists like these continue to put in the hard work necCeleste Moon. (Photo Credit: rioswave) essary to build the scene, it is now up to the community to support. : :

July 26-Aug. 8, 2019

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qomunity

qonexions

space starting at $22: call qnotes for details 704.531.9988

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July 26-Aug. 8, 2019

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10 Questions with Vic: Featuring Lea DeLaria Comedian, Actress, Musician

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BY Vic Gerami | CONTRIBUTING WRITER Gay men love to talk to me about Broadway, and if they are of a “certain” age, then it’s “One Life To Live” and “Edge of 17.”

Straight women tell me “The First Wives Club” is their favorite movie. My response to that is, “Really? Mine’s Rebecca.”

And, finally, lesbians give me a firm handshake and ask me if I like cats, unless they are in their early 20’s, then they flirt ruthlessly. #daddy

ea DeLaria seems to have achieved overnight stardom with her two-time Screen Actors Guild Award-winning, stand-out role as Carrie “Big Boo” Black in the Netflix hit series “Orange is the New Black.” However, DeLaria’s multi-faceted career as a comedian, actress and jazz musician has in fact spanned decades.

DeLaria holds the distinction of being the first openly LGBTQ comic on television in America. She’s received Obie & Theater World Awards, and a Drama Desk nomination for her portrayal as Hildy in the Public Theatre’s revival of “On The Town,” an Ovation nomination for “The Boys From Syracuse,” and has played both Eddie and Dr. Scott in the gender-bending Broadway musical “The Rocky Horror Show.”

I was in Provincetown, Mass. in early May, where DeLaria’s highly-anticipated new entertainment venue and restaurant, The Club, is about to open. The beach community was so excited for the grand-opening that I had to connect with DeLaria and get caught up.

Modesty aside, how would you describe yourself?

Generally, I describe myself as Butch... a really talented sex machine of a butch.

You have had an illustrious career starting with stand-up then on to film and television, with roles in classic movies such as “First Wives Club,” “Pulp Fiction” and most recently playing the iconic role of Big Boo in “Orange is the New Black.” With all your success, do you feel like you are on top of the world?

OK, first of all I wasn’t in “Pulp Fiction.” I was in a spoof of “Pulp Fiction” called “Plump Fiction” which starred Julie Brown in a fat suit. Secondly, nobody who looks like me and talks like me, who ran out of fucks to give when Sonny was with Cher feels on top of the world. Let’s just say, that I lead a charmed life, and I know it.

How do you reflect on your career so far and having been the first LGBTQ comic to appear on the late night talk show, “The Arsenio Hall Show,” in 1993?

I was the first openly gay comic to perform on television in America. It wasn’t just late night TV, I was the first ever in the USA. As you can see, that milestone is something I am very proud of. Mostly, I reflect on the change in society and people’s perception of what it is to be queer, and especially in my case, Butch. Back then the power figures in show business thought it was career suicide to do what I did. However, the reality of my choice is that for me there

LGBTQ community trailblazer Lea DeLaria. (Photo Credit: Tina Turnbow)

You are about to open your own jazz club and restaurant, “The Club,” in Provincetown, Mass.

Tell me about the concept, how it came about and what people can expect from an evening there?

“Class without snobbery” is The Club’s motto. You will be able to see world-class entertainment, Rosie O’Donnell, Alan Cumming, Janis Siegel... ME, in a sexy atmosphere while enjoying excellent food and drink surrounded by a gorgeous view of the Bay. Our late night features The Club House Band which plays for free from 10 until close. So you can sit, eat and drink on our huge deck with comfortable patio couches, chairs, love seats and fire pits, look at the pretty water and enjoy the vibe until 12:30 at night.

was no choice. I mean… Look at me. What am I gonna do, walk out on stage and talk about my boyfriend?

What is your favorite charity/cause?

The Ali Forney Center for homeless gay youth. In fact they are in my will.

You grew up singing alongside your jazz pianist father and have sung throughout your career. Most of your fans know about your music career, including being on Broadway and all your successful albums. You also released a new album, “House of David,” last year. Will you be doing more singing in the near future?

As a matter of fact, yes. I have recently purchased a nightclub in Provincetown, Mass. It used to be a dance club called the Pied Bar. I, along with my partner, Frank Christopher, have turned it into a performance-oriented space. I will be performing there when we open on June 21. I will also be doing a fiveweek run there, starting Aug. 8. If you haven’t ever been to Provincetown, you must come.

It’s a magical, beautiful and queer little resort town.

Tell me about your fans when they recognize you in public.

Well, the teenage girls scream and shake and cry like I’m a Jonas Brother.

Men ask me for a selfie saying “it’s for my wife” or “my girlfriend who watches Orange” ... like straight men don’t watch “Orange,” or any of the lesbian sex scenes in the shower :-)

Which living person(s) do you most admire?

Oprah Winfrey... yeah, I said it.

Aside from the highly anticipated opening of The Club, do you have other project(s) coming up?

Yes I do, but like all big things in my industry, I am not allowed to discuss it yet.

Tell me a secret — make it a good one!

I am actually straight; the dyke thing is a career move. : : For more information about Lea DeLaria and her projects, please visit LeaDelaria.com.

Vic Gerami is a journalist, media contributor and the editor and publisher of The Blunt Post. He spent six years at Frontiers Magazine, followed by LA Weekly and Voice Media Group. His syndicated celebrity “Q&A column, 10 Questions with Vic,” is a LA Press Club’s National Arts & Entertainment Journalism Award finalist. Gerami is a contributor for QNotes, Montrose Star, DC Life Magazine, Out & About Nashville, Q Virginia, GNI MAG, Windy City Times, WeHo Times, GoWeHo, Los Angeles Blade, Asbarez, California Courier, Desert Daily Guide, Armenian Weekly, GED, The Pride LA, IN Magazine and The Advocate Magazine.

July 26-Aug. 8, 2019

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Love Wins:

Interview with Miss Charlotte Pride Kristin Collins Dishing with Buff Faye

BY Buff Faye | CONTRIBUTING WRITER | info@bufffaye.com

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ne of the reasons I love what I do is because I get to feature fabulous drag queens on occasion. This time it is my Good Judy Kristin Collins who is the current reigning Miss Charlotte Pride 2018.

Kristin shares that she will crown the 16th Miss Charlotte Pride on Sunday, Aug. 4 at 7 p.m. at the Levine Museum of the New South. Please get a biscuit and enjoy this Rolling Stone-style interview with a Charlotte rockstar!

Buff: Hey lady, let’s get started by telling us about your childhood — a long time ago [shade]. No seriously, where were you born, and did your childhood inspire who you are today?

Kristin: Ha. Well, as a child, my family moved to the Charlotte area when I was four years old. Young Bryce (or Kristin) was not much different from today. I had a very active imagination and enjoyed all things that involved dressing up or playing out a scene from one of my favorite TV shows, books or movies. I’ve always loved

Dolly Parton, and that is definitely an influence in my drag career. I also loved Blair from the “Facts of Life” and the cartoon “Jem and the Holograms.”

Buff: Oh wow! I loved “Jem and the Holograms” too. So when was your first drag appearance?

Kristin: Technically, my first drag experience was in the fourth grade. I performed “Let’s Hear It for the Boy” by Denise Williams, in a shoulder-padded and belted, oversized T-shirt, parachute pants and leg warmers. I won the school talent show.

Ha! Then when I was a theatre student at Western Carolina University, I started going out to Scandals, and was immediately intrigued by the drag shows. The more I watched, the more I wanted to try it.

Buff: Okay now. Snatching trophies at such a young age.

Kristin: Then, in April 1993, Kristin Collins made her debut in a quarterly talent show at Scandals. I won performing “Queen of the Night” in a black fringe leotard with fringed gauntlet sleeves that I had made as part of a costume design class project at Western Carolina University. I was hooked and loved it.

Buff: Most drag queens know of you because you won Miss Gay North Carolina America in 1999. When did that become a dream for you?

Kristin: Honestly, I did not see my drag career going any further than Scandals.

Then I saw a show featuring Miss North Carolina America Sharde Ross in 1993.

There was something about that golden punch bowl crown, encircled with stars that got me… and the overall presence of Miss North Carolina America intrigued me. That continued, and then after seeing Kerri Nichols perform at Scandals when she won Miss North Carolina America, [it] ultimately fueled my passion to become Miss North Carolina America.

Buff: So where did you get your drag name? And do you have a certain style or persona as an entertainer?

Kristin: My first drag name was going to be Carey Collins, because of my last name, and the Panthers QB at the time had the same name. I was talked into not using the name Carey, because there was already a queen named Kerri, and it would be weird.

One of my first drag sisters, Domonique, who passed away this year, came up with a more feminine version of Kris — which was after Kris Munroe, my favorite Charlie’s Angel by the way. Collins was what I had decided because I wanted to marry an NFL Quarterback. LOL. Buff: A girl can dream I guess. Ha, ha...

Kristin: Exactly. Anyway, I love pop culture.

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Miss Charlotte Pride and former Miss North Carolina America Kristin Collins. (Photo Credit: Jake Simpson)

My drag is a little country, a little rock ‘n roll. And Kristin is definitely a blonde, southern lady. And ultimately, I love to make people smile, feel good and leave a performance full of love.

Buff: That transitions well into your current reign as Miss Charlotte Pride. What makes this title stand out from your Miss North Carolina America title?

Kristin: Both titles, while different, are the same in that they are both something that I wanted really bad. Miss North Carolina America was more about me, taught me a lot about drag performance and being part of a legacy of drag in the state. Miss Charlotte Pride is about being part of the Charlotte community and using my drag talents as a platform to give back. This community has been so gracious and good to me over the past 25 years.

Buff: Tell us what differences you feel you made as Miss Charlotte Pride to promote unity and involve more of the community?

Kristin: I dont know that I have made any difference in the community as Miss Charlotte Pride, but at least the community will know I was here. I have tried my best this year to be as visible in the community as I could be, sharing my talents with organizations that are close to my heart — and sharing smiles, laughs and hugs along the way.

Buff: I know the Miss Charlotte Pride pageant is coming up on Sunday, Aug. 4. Are you excited to crown the next queen?

Kristin: Actually, this year’s pageant has been completely reimagined to be more inclusive to all drag entertainers.

Charlotte has always had a rich legacy in pageantry drag, but not all queens are pageant queens. I wanted to help move the pageant in a more progressive direction that’s inclusive and more reflective of the drag scene here in the Queen City. This year we will crown three individuals with the title of Ms, Mr, and Mx. Plus, we’ve changed up the interview categories to make them more “real life,” especially the On-Stage Interview, which will be facilitated by local news reporters. We’ve also changed the categories up a little bit to make it more entertaining for the crowd. The pageant is also closer to the festival date and will be like an “unofficial kick-off” to Charlotte Pride Week. I have worked really hard with the Charlotte Pride organization to make this years pageant one to remember.

Buff: That’s wonderful.

Well, I know I have asked you so many questions. I know we are both similar ages. I am younger, of course. LOL. What do you feel to be your greatest drag accomplishment?

Kristin: Hmmm… funny thing, I remember saying, “I can’t imagine doing drag after 40.” My greatest accomplishment is the simple fact that I’m still here. I love what I do, who I do it with and who I do it for. I try each day to be a better version of myself and help others.

Buff: That is beautiful and so true. Thank you, lady. Do you have any closing inspirational words for our community?

Kristin: “Be the person you needed when you were younger” is a quote that I’ve really put into action this year as Miss Charlotte Pride. Thank you everyone for being part of this incredible journey with me. I appreciate each and every kind word, tip and smile I receive. Remember “Love Wins!”

Buff: Indeed it does. Thank you.

DRAG TIP: Stay fresh. Remember to wash your pads and undergarments regularly..

Buff Faye calls the Queen City her home and performs so she can feed her pet unicorn (and raise money for charities). Find her at your favorite bars and hot spots. Plus don’t forget her weekly Saturday night show with Patti O’Furniture and regular Friday night party bus. Learn more at AllBuff.com.

Follow on Twitter @BuffFaye.

SHOUT OUTS: Don’t miss the Miss Charlotte Pride Pageant on Sunday, Aug. 4 at 7 p.m. at the Levine Museum of the New South. Buy tickets on Eventbrite.com

July 26-Aug. 8, 2019

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Chat Rooms, Gay Bars and Coffee Shops, Oh My! Tell Trinity

BY Trinity | CONTRIBUTING WRITER Hey Trinity, Many issues back you answered a letter about a guy who wanted to meet dates without going to GLBTQ bars, chat rooms or other meeting places. You told him, “He can’t!” and should rethink his attitude on these places. Well, I think your advice was crappy!

I would’ve told him to ditch these places and keep his eyes peeled.

Signed, Trying To Help, Madison, WI Hey Trying To Help, I disagree that by “keeping his eyes peeled” he’ll find dates. It’s simply not enough! If one wants to meet potential dates, then one’s got to work with the limitations that exist, not avoid them! If you only have one social outlet and you hate this social outlet, then learn to work within its limitations or starve. I do, however, agree, pumpkin, that I should’ve also suggested he start a group or join a social, athletic, intellectual or religious group. In the end, I say live, rethink your limitations and join the parade, don’t hide from it!

Kisses, Trinity Hello Trinity, I know your career has been full and getting

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fuller, but aren’t you afraid that if you get really famous, you’ll become a pretentious star?

Thanks, Money-Fame-Fears, Eugene, OR Hello Fears, While being poor, hungry and out of work is one path toward appreciating life, having a little money, honey, fame and a few diamonds doesn’t have to ruin any one of us 99 percenters. (It’s a lot easier to have the funds to do what you wish than

to not. See my cartoon for some sage, oh I mean experienced, life suggestions.)

Dearest Trinity, After dating the same woman for three years, I recently found out that she cheated on me. I love her and don’t want to lose her, but what about my integrity and my pride?

She doesn’t know I know. What should I do?

Cheated & Silent, Philadelphia, PA

Dear Obsessed, Unfortunately, life is such that we just wake up, and one day we’ve gone too far.

It happens to me with dark chocolate. So, sweetie, start sipping mint teas and read:

Trinity’s Lifesaving Tips For Stopping Yourself From Being A Stalker

Dearest Cheated, In my definition cheating is, “When the one you love, loves someone else and acts upon it, continuously, in your face.” This leaves you no choice but to: a) send her to Siberia, b) start couples’ counseling, c) take her and yourself on a faraway vacation or d) say bye-bye! Although, if he or she’s not cheating, but rather “screwing around” which I define as, “when the one you love gets laid and does or doesn’t tell you,” well then that’s human error or instinct, leaving you no choice but to do a) through d) (see above) or e) accept that the one you love has faults, put the gun down and start talking about it! Darling, while infidelity destroys many relationships, it also has the potential for making some relationships even stronger!

Good luck, Trinity

1. Buy a body pillow, blow up doll and/or start getting massages!

2. Get a good therapist, a devoted friend or support from a “functional” family member.

3. Attend Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous meetings (check your local area).

4. Ask your doctor if there are any antidepressants for this problem.

5. Throw away all of the stalkee’s letters, pictures and undergarments you may have kept when you were dating!

6. Throw away all of the stalkee’s information from your wallet, cellphone and email list.

7. Don’t spend too much time ALONE wondering, “What if I saw him just once more?”

8. Before you go hiding in the bushes near her house, call someone and talk about it!

9. Leave town and go on a fabulous vacation!

10. L astly, date, socialize and go to parties or bars. But get out (of your head)! : :

Dear Trinity, Nobody wants to wake up one day and find out that they may be totally obsessed and even stalking someone. How can I deal with my obsession before it really gets me into trouble?

Obsessed, Quebec City, QC

With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com.

Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

July 26-Aug. 8, 2019

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events July 26-Aug. 30 Architecture of the Immaterial LaCa Projects

1429 Bryant St., Charlotte Times Vary Latin American Contemporary Art (LaCa) Projects presents Architecture of the Immaterial, a collective exhibition featuring six prominent artists of Latin American origin. Gallery times and ticket information can be found online. lacaprojects.com.

July 26 Hip Hop Tech Champ: The Roots and STEM of Rap

Harvey B. Gantt Center for African-American Arts and Culture 551 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

In this writing and technology camp for students in grades 6-12, atendees will apply those skills to compose and record lyrics, download beats and mix audio. Daily topics include hero poems, political poems and software usage. The camp is $125 for museum members and $150 for non-members. Registration is available online. bit.ly/2YtYclV.

July 27 Festival Colombiano de Charlotte

Symphony Park 4400 Sharon Rd., Charlotte 12-8 p.m.

The Colombian Festival of Charlotte presents a jam-packed celebration of the rich culture of the South American country of

July-September 2019

Submit your events: editor@goqnotes.com

Colombia. The event will feature authentic Colombian cuisine, dancing and a music showcase headlined by Grupo Niche, a top salsa group from Colombia’s history. Tickets are $10 and are available online. bit.ly/2FF8gBl.

July 27 Freedom Jazz Series

1900 East Blvd., Charlotte 6 p.m.

National jazz keyboardist Marqueal Jordan and guest Willie Bradley join Mecklenburg County Parks and Recreation’s Freedom Jazz Series, bringing a night of music, local food, and craft beer. Admission is free. bit.ly/2JVvVyM.

August 3 Bon Odori Festival

Wells Fargo Atrium & Plaza 301 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 11 a.m.-4 p.m.

The Japanese Association of Charlotte presents a familyfriendly celebration of Japanese music, food, arts and crafts. bit.ly/2OqM8BB.

August 3 First Carolinas Ecuadorian Festival

Midwood International and Cultural Center

PFLAG Charlotte Meets for monthly group support meetings, second Monday of each month, 6:30-8 p.m., Time Out Youth Center, 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: pflagcharlotte.org.

July 27: Eric B. & Rakim

Legendary hip-hop duo Eric B. & Rakim bring decades worth of their unique and influential music to the Fillmore. Tickets start at $29.50 and are available online. The Fillmore Charlotte, 820 Hamilton St., Charlotte. 8:30 p.m. livemu.sc/2XhgaM0.

1817 Central Ave., Charlotte 12-7 p.m.

Enjoy one of Charlotte’s vibrant and beloved cultural festivals, a celebration of Ecuadorian food and folklore. Admission is free. bit.ly/2XZnpIL.

August 4 2019 Charlotte Pride Drag Pageant

Levine Museum of the New South 200 E. 7th St., Charlotte 7 p.m.

The legendary Charlotte Pride Drag Pageant returns with a totally new and innovative setup. Tickets start at $10 and are available online. bit.ly/2LBjb3C.

August 5 The Flaming Lips

Charlotte Metro Credit Union Amphitheatre 1000 NC Music Factory Blvd., Charlotte 7 p.m.

Indie rock powerhouse The Flaming Lips brings their unique blend of pop and psychadelic sounds to the Charlotte Amphitheatre. Tickets start at $29.50 and are available online. bit.ly/32KWK0S.

August 6 Cultivating Roots in the Community

August 11: Sunday Funday with Jaymes Mansfield

Drag superstar Jaymes Mansfield presents two wig-snatching shows spreading love, fabulousness and glitter. The Comedy Zone, 211 N. Main St., Greenville S.C. 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m. bit.ly/2MbTSnU.

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Charlotte Latin Pride Meets for monthly Spanish-language support nights, second and fourth Tuesday of each month, 7 p.m., Charlotte Pride offices at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church, 1900 The Plaza, Charlotte. info: charlottepride.org/latin/.

Charlotte LGBT Chamber Regular business meetings, social events and other activities throughout the year.

Days and times vary. info: clgbtcc.org.

July 27 ShakesQueer

Imurj 300 S. McDowell St., Raleigh 7 p.m.

Bare Theatre presents Shakesqueer, a tragicomic one-act staged reading that explores the queer undertones of The Bard’s work. The show is non-ticketed, but a suggested donation of $15 is suggested at the door. bit.ly/2XPduFI.

REGULAR EVENTS

Affinity Health Center 445 Lakeshore Pkwy., Rock Hill S.C. 9 a.m.-6:30 p.m.

Affinity Health Center hosts a daylong celebration of community health to mark National Health Center Week 2019. The event will feature activities and workshops designed to help attendees manage everyday stress, including yoga, Sumba, meditation and oneon-one meetings with dieticians.

General admission is free, and a

Sports Physical Clinic will be held from 4-6:30 p.m. for a fee of $10. affinityhealthcenter.org.

August 9 Queen City Anime Convention

Charlotte Sheraton Hotel 555 S McDowell St., Charlotte 5 p.m.

This three-day event celebrating the world of anime features a cosplay contest, vendors, fan programming, and video game contests. Children’s tickets are free and adult passes start at $30. Day and weekend passes are available online. queencityanimecon.com.

August 10 City of Immigrants 5k

Latin American Coalition 4938 Central Ave., Charlotte 6-9 p.m.

Charlotte’s Latin American Coalition hosts a run through the beautiful Plaza Midwood neighborhood in support of Charlotte’s immigrant communities.

All proceeds will benefit Latin American Coalition’s Immigrant Welcome Center, which provides language specific, culturally attuned programs and services to Latinx familities seeking crisis intervention, access to resources and capacity building opportunities. Registration closes July 31 and is available online. cltcityofimmigrants.org

September 15 Lizzo: Cuz I Love You Too Tour

Charlotte Metro Credit Union Amphitheatre 1000 NC Music Factory Blvd., Charlotte 8 p.m.

Superstar Lizzo brings her positive, energizing music to Charlotte. Tickets start at $39.50 and are available online. bit.ly/2Gnw7WC.

PFLAG Concord/Kannapolis Meets for monthly group support meetings, second Tuesday of each month, 7-9 p.m., Trinity United Church of Christ, 38 Church St. N., Concord. info: bit.ly/1pCFVBq. PFLAG Gaston Meets for monthly support meetings, third Thursday of each month, 7 p.m., St. Mark’s Episcopal Church, 258 W. Franklin Blvd., Gastonia. info: pflaggaston.org.

Prime Timers Monthly meeting including dinner, speaker, games and more for gay men ages 21 and up, 5-7 p.m., Park Road Baptist Church Fellowship Hall, 3900 Park Rd., Charlotte. info: primetimersww.com/charlotte/.

Stonewall Sports Regular team sports, meet-up, social and service events throughout the year.

Days and times vary. info: stonewallcharlotte.leagueapps.com.

Trans Youth Group Time Out Youth Center hosts weekly discussion groups for transgender youth ages 13-20 each Thursday, 4:30-6 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org.

Transcend Charlotte Hosts twice monthly support groups for partners, friends and family of transgender and gender non-conforming adults ages 18 and older, second and fourth Sundays of each month, 6-7 p.m., Time Out Youth Center, 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. Prior to each meeting an anxiety support group is offered 5-6 p.m. info: transcendcharlotte.org.

Youth Drop-In Space Time Out Youth Center hosts drop-in space Monday-Friday, 3-6:30 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org.

Youth Discussion Group Time Out Youth Center hosts weekly discussion groups for LGBTQ youth ages 13-20 each Wednesday, 6:30-8:30 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org.

Youth of Color Group Time Out Youth Center hosts weekly discussion groups for LGBTQ and ally people of color each Thursday, 7-8:30 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org.

UPDATES/ADDITIONS? Do you have a regular and reoccurring community event you’d like listed? A listing to update? Email us at editor@ goqnotes.com.

a&e

More than 50 shades An interview with designer Sebastian Grey

T

BY Gregg Shapiro | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

he road to Bravo’s “Project Runway” hasn’t been as glamorous as you might think for fan favorite contestant Sebastian Grey. He gave up a career in Colombia and arrived in the United States where he worked as a housekeeper in a hotel. Something good did come of that; it’s where he met his husband Matthew. Additionally, he applied to compete on “Project Runway,” where his sewing skills, solid work ethic and talent landed him a spot in the final four. Fort Lauderdale resident Grey was kind enough to answer a few questions in advance of the Season 17 finale.

Gregg Shapiro: Sebastian, when did you first become interested in fashion?

Sebastian Grey: I first became interested in fashion when I was probably 14. I was in a professional ballet school. I graduated as a professional ballet dancer. When I was in school, I was watching how they produced the outfits for the plays, how they communicated so many things with the outfits. I thought it was super cool. Maybe this could be my new career. I was always going to the factory where they were producing the costumes, and I was always helping them, especially with the tutus. (I was) learning how they kept everything in place. That was my first introduction to fashion and how to make clothes.

GS: Were you a fan of “Project Runway” before you became one of the contestants?

SG: I was not a crazy fan. I watched it a couple of times in Colombia with my mom. Sometimes she’d say, “You are going to be on there!” I’d say, “Oh, mom. That’s the United States. We live in Colombia. That’s never going to happen!”

And here I am! Final four!

GS: Your mom is a big supporter of yours?

SG: She always supported my career. My dad, too. They were always super supportive, even with being gay. They were super-open with everything. It was never an issue for them.

GS: What was your favorite challenge this season?

SG: It’s difficult (to choose). I learned something different from all of the challenges. Maybe the “Unconventional (Challenge)” because it was in the woods, and we were sleeping and eating there. It was fun.

GS: What was your least favorite challenge?

SG: Yes! My least favorite, the one I didn’t enjoy at all, was the “Elton John Challenge.” I struggled a lot!

GS: How much do you think your strong sewing skills contributed to your success on “Project Runway?”

SG: I think that’s very important, especially for “Project Runway.” We have to be able to do everything. Having good sewing skills is going to help because you’ll be able to finish everything quicker, and if something goes wrong, you can change it faster.

ing the boundaries with gender equality and making fashion more inclusive for all kinds of shapes and genders.

Sebastian Grey, fashion designer and GS: He designed ‘Project Runway’ Season 17 winner. the piece for Billy Porter.

SG: Yes, the tuxedo gown.

GS: You and your husband Matthew live in Fort Lauderdale. What do you like best about living here?

SG: Being close to the ocean. That’s the best thing.

GS: And it will look better, it will look finished.

SG: Yes, because they are judging you based on that. How it looks, how it’s finished, the design, the construction and the idea.

GS: How did you and your husband meet?

SG: When I was working at a hotel as a housekeeper. One of the housekeepers said, “I have a friend I want to introduce to you.” We started talking and one day we went on a date and we never separated from that date.

GS: This season of “Project Runway” featured contestants with big personalities, such as Hester and Kovid.

As someone who is quieter and more reserved, what do you think of the way everyone was represented?

SG: I think you learn to behave yourself. Yes, I’m a little crazy sometimes, but when it comes to my work, I’m extremely focused.

GS:That’s wonderful! We’re speaking before the final episode of this season of “Project Runway” airs on Bravo. What would it mean to you to be the winner of season 17 of “Project Runway?”

SG: If I’m the lucky one, it would prove to me that I have what it takes to start building my dreams and my brand.

To be able to achieve all I want in life. : :

GS: That’s admirable, because sometimes the bigger personalities get more attention.

SG: For me, it was not about the personality. It’s about your work. Let that speak for you and make the noise.

(Editor’s Note: Jhoan “Sebastian” Grey went on to win season 17 of “Project Runway” on the show’s finale broadcast on June 13, besting Hester Sunshine and Garo Sparo. The unexpected victory was surprising for Grey who shared with media that he “died for a few seconds” and then began to cry. His collection was Colombian-inspired and captivated the judges (fashion designer Diane von Fürstenberg, author, journalist and editor Elaine Welteroth, ELLE magazine editor-in-chief Nina Garcia, fashion designer, television personality, director and photographer Brandon Maxwell and model and entrepreneur Karlie Kloss) in making their decision. According to People magazine, Grey received $250,000 furnished by the Pilot’s FriXion Erasable Gel Ink Pen — a feature in ELLE, and his or her own featured role in a Bluprint digital series as well as $50,000 to put toward their own design studio also courtesy of Bluprint, and for the first time ever, a one-on-one mentorship with the Council of Fashion Designers of America, including all the tools and connections to create, grow, and sustain a business in fashion. This season’s prize package was the largest one in the history of the show.)

GS: What does it mean to you to be on “Project Runway?”

SG: It was one of the craziest experiences. It’s amazing!

I guess this year the platform evolved towards more real fashion. Because they have the CFDA, the Council of Fashion Designers of America, and they are building real designers. This year, for me, they were more concerned with knowing more about the designer and being able to showcase that to the world.

GS: What do you think of Christian Siriano as the “Project Runway” mentor?

SG: It was super cool having him as a mentor. He always guided me in the right direction. He always had the right advice. And he was part of the show, so he knows exactly what the judges are looking for. He built a relationship with these people through all these years, so he already knows who they are in terms of their work aesthetics.

Seeing him and how much success he’s having, (I think), “That can be me! He was part of this.” It’s very inspiring and it makes you want to keep going.

GS: You were there at just the right time.

SG: I guess it was the right time.

GS: What do you think of Christian as a designer?

SG: I think his work is really amazing. The way that he’s push-

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