QNotes, July 27, 2018

July 27-Aug. 9 . 2018

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July 27-Aug. 9 . 2018

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qnotes news & features

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New at the helm Q&A with new Equality NC Executive Director Kenda Johnson page 23

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Charlotte to host Republican arts. entertainment. news. views.

National Convention in 2020 Three-hour City Council meeting included strong opposition July 16 - goqnotes.com/60536/

arts. news. views. Briefs 6 entertainment.

News Notes: Regional

8 9 10 10

News Notes: U.S./World Briefs New SCOTUS pick is a concern New trends in gay marriage LGBTQ foster parenting

a&e / life&style 13 10 11 15 16 19 22 13

Dexter Jordan’s new height Quisol is ‘Latinx Future’ Youths star in national debuts Kathy Griffin dishes on the media Out in Print Tell Trinity Q Events Calendar Our People: Kendra Johnson

opinions & views 4 Don’t Forget the Kids!

New poll shows Democrat Dan McCready leading anti-LGBTQ pastor Mark Harris July 11 - goqnotes.com/60536/

more news & features …

Conservative-backed N.C. charter school changes anti-LGBTQ student policy July 18 - goqnotes.com/60618/

Spiritual Reflections

Adeleke gets fellowship

Loving your chosen family and community page 18

NCAAN staffer to work with Victory Fund page 6

NC DMV rejects, then approves lesbian’s custom license plate request July 18 - goqnotes.com/60254/

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Focus on the LGBTQ Family

Don’t Forget the Kids!

Children caught up in the web of conflict over adoption, fostering issues

by Penelope L. Hefner, Sodoma Law :: guest contributor

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July 27-Aug. 9, 2018 Vol 33 No 07

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contributors this issue

Buff Faye, Matt Comer, Tori Dominguez, Rev. Dawn Flynn, Penelope L. Hefner, Jack Kirven, Lainey Millen, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Jeff Taylor, Trinity

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The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBTQ and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBTQ life and social justice issues.

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n February 2018, the Georgia Senate passed a bill (SB 375), sponsored by Sen. William Ligon, that gave adoption agencies the right to refuse to work with LGBTQ couples on the basis of religious beliefs. The bill was then set to go to the House. In the meantime, Georgia, like many other states, was being torn in two.

You had the supporters’ point of view: “Just because you are a faith-based organization, doesn’t mean you have to check your faith at the door and cannot participate in government programs,” Ligon stated regarding this bill.

He argued that the bill would allow adoption organizations affiliated with a religion to participate in government programs without the concern of having to work with LGBTQ couples if it contradicts their religious tenets. “Religious liberty is more than freedom of worship; it includes our ability to make our contribution to the common good of all Americans without having to compromise our faith,” according to a statement from Catholic Charities cited by the Washington Examiner.

But, what about the kids? In Georgia alone, there are approximately 12,000 children in the foster care system, according to CASA Georgia (an agency of court-appointed special advocators). These children desperately need homes.

Jeff Graham, Georgia Equality’s executive director stated: “There are no winners with [the bill]. [It] does not help the thousands of young people in our state’s adoption and foster care system. It does not help loving parents who are looking to open their homes to children in need, either through fostering or adoption.”

Graham went on to express concerns with the financial impact of this decision. There are major companies who he believed would react negatively to such legislation and take action to remove their business from Georgia. There was very real concern that this bill would impact Amazon’s decision as to where to put its new headquarters. As such, Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal called on state lawmakers to prevent the passing of the bill. His concern was valid. In fact, First Data, an Atlanta-based company employing 24,000 employees worldwide, issued a statement opposing the bill. Many feared other big players would follow. According to the Washington Blade, “prominent entertain-

ment companies that have long been supportive of LGBT rights, including the Walt Disney Company, Netflix, and others that have produced films or conducted business in Georgia were watching with interest Georgia’s [senate bill].” The same concern would be true of other states vying for national and international business opportunities.

While the economic impact is important, again, as an attorney working with children and families, a more important point is that legislation like this doesn’t do a whole lot to take children out of the system and into loving homes.

Sen. Ligon argued during a Georgia Senate Judiciary Committee meeting that the passage of the bill would increase adoptions. Sen. Elena Parent pushed back stating that faith-based adoption agencies in Georgia already possess the right to deny placement to LGBTQ couples.

“It seems like [the bill is] dealing with problems that do not exist, although it might make people feel better,” Parent said. This begs this question — who are we trying to make feel better? Melissa Carter, executive director for the Barton Child Law and Policy Center at Emory University, stated that adoption agencies with religious association are not, and have not been, denied contracts with Georgia’s foster care system based on those beliefs. So, if the faith-based agencies aren’t being harmed, again, who are we worried about here?

All children in the system could be impacted, but what about the LGBTQ kids? Wouldn’t this legislation have the potential to impact them even more profoundly? Cathryn Oakley, state legislative director and senior counsel at Human Rights Campaign, worries about “what would happen to children who are gay or transgender, such as whether a family who affirmed their identities would be denied adoption.”

In Georgia, SB 375 supporters’ efforts failed on the final day of the 2018 Georgia legislative session and therefore, the purportedly antiLGBTQ legislation did not pass. But this was not the first effort to have it passed and likely won’t be the last.

And what about other states? Is Georgia alone in seemingly putting the priority on religious freedom? Apparently not — Alabama, South Dakota and Texas have enacted similar

laws recently, allowing faith-based agencies to deny applications for religious reasons, which includes if the couple is LGBTQ. Several other states have had similar laws on the books previously. Could North Carolina follow suit?

LGBTQ supporters argue that this bill, and those like it, require the use of taxpayer dollars to discriminate against the LGBTQ community.

Legal director for Human Rights Campaign, Sarah Warbelow, said in a statement to SELF: “These children could now wait longer to be placed in a safe, loving home at the whim of a state-funded adoption or foster-care agency with a vendetta against LGBTQ couples, mixedfaith couples, or interracial couples — all while being taxpayer-funded.”

In some states, the language is broad and sweeping, and some may argue could be used to reject an inter-faith couple or single parent from adopting. If we are chipping away at the possible parents out there for children in need, how does this benefit these children?

So what should LGBTQ supporters in North Carolina do to better ensure the success of same-sex couple adoptions in light of this level of bigotry, which doesn’t seem to know state lines? Contact your representative or senator to make your position known and what the possible negative outcomes could be from similar legislation. For prospective adopting parents, having a family lawyer involved in their discussions with adoption agencies to advocate for them in case they face this sort of issue is critical.

Jay Kaplan is the staff attorney at the ACLU of Michigan’s Nancy Katz and Margo Dichtemiller LGBT Project. In response to bills like Georgia’s, Kaplan stated: “Allowing agencies to turn away loving, qualified families based on religious criteria creates fewer families for children, reducing their chances of being placed in a suitable family, or any family at all.” And at the end of the day, that sounds like a lot of children being forgotten. : : — Penelope L. Hefner is a Family Law attorney and Principal at Sodoma Law Union, in Monroe, N.C. She is also a trained Parenting Coordinator and has served as a Guardian ad litem. In addition to her practice, Hefner serves as a pro bono volunteer attorney for Safe Alliance’s Legal Representation Project.

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news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

Adeleke nets Victory fellowship RALEIGH, N.C. — The Victory Institute announced that it has selected NC AIDS Action Network’s Christina Adeleke as one of 10 fellows for its Victory Empowerment Fellowship.

The fellowship is for LGBTQ leaders of color and/or transgender leaders who seek to expand their campaign skills and policymaking power and join a strong cohort of movement leaders from across the country. It consists of two programs provided by the Victory Institute — the Candidate & Campaign Training and the International LGBTQ Leadership Conference — and a year-long mentorship program. The institute works to increase the number of LGBTQ individuals in public office and to provide programming, service and other support to ensure their success.

Since its launch in 2015, the Victory Empowerment Fellowship has assisted 32 LGBTQ leaders in expanding their skill sets and cultivating relationships. Former fellows have taken the tools obtained through the program back to their communities and are currently working to change the current landscape of LGBTQ equality. Notable alumni include Phillipe Cunningham, Andrea Jenkins, Lisa Middleton and Vernetta Alston, currently city council members in Minneapolis, Minn., Palm Springs, Calif. and Durham, N.C. respectively.

“We are thrilled Christina Adeleke will be joining our 2018 class of Victory Empowerment Fellows — an impressive group of diverse LGBTQ people who are leading the fight for equality in our community,” said Ruben Gonzales, vice president of leadership initiatives at the institute.

“Christina’s leadership in improving the lives of LGBTQ North Carolinians — including those living with HIV & AIDS — has made an enormous impact on her state and will provide a critical perspective for other fellows. We hope the Candidate & Campaign Training, International LGBTQ Leaders Conference and other fellowship programming will help Christina in her continued advocacy and support for the LGBTQ community.”

Read more about Adeleke and the other fellows at bit.ly/2NEnjg2. info: victoryinstitute.org.

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July 27-Aug. 9 . 2018

Charlotte Pride fest on horizon CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The Charlotte Pride Festival & Parade will return to Uptown Aug. 18-19 with a weekend full of entertainment, community events and expanded opportunities for the LGBTQ community of Charlotte and the Carolinas to connect.

The annual event will feature headlining entertainment on the Wells Fargo Stage from Superfruit, comprised of Scott Hoying and Mitch Grassi from the three-time Grammy Awardwinning a cappella group Pentatonix. Featured entertainers include Jessica Sutta of the worldfamous Pussycat Dolls. Rapper Cupakke, dance diva Ultra Naté and trans pop singer Laith Ashley will also perform. In partnership with iHeart Radio, In Real Life of ABC’s “Boy Band” will round out the featured entertainment, also including Aja, Stacy Layne Mathews and Coco Montrese of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” presented in partnership with Chasers Charlotte NoDa. The festival also includes the PNC Bank Festival Zone featuring 200 vendors with community non-profits and small businesses, a family and kids zone, a karaoke stage and a new, additional stage for local and regional entertainers.

The Bank of America Charlotte Pride Parade is scheduled for Sunday, Aug. 19, 1-3 p.m. on N. Tryon St. The weekend festival and parade is the culmination of more than a week of community events including a youth dance and interfaith service. info: charlottepride.org.

Annual mass announced CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The 22nd Anniversary Mass of Celebration for LGBTQ Catholics, Their Friends and Family will be said on Aug. 17, 7 p.m., St. Peter’s Catholic Church, 507 S. Tryon St. The mass is sponsored by the Diocesan Ministry for LGBTQ Catholics and is open to all faith denominations. Fr. Jim Shea will serve as celebrant with Deacon Jim Bozik assisting.

A light reception will follow downstairs in Biss Hall.

Validated parking is available at the Green parking deck at 501 S. Tryon St. info: mrcipolletti@hotmail.com.

HRC beer event slated CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The Human Rights Campaign Charlotte will hold their Beers 4 Equality on Aug. 12, 12 p.m., at NoDa Brewing Company, 2921 N. Tryon St. This inaugural event is being held in conjunction with Charlotte Pride.

All ages are welcome.

Tickets are $25 and are available online at bit.ly/2LDzMzT and entitle the purchaser to two beer tickets, an exclusive souvenir beer glass and an annual membership or membership renewal. info: hrc.org.

Org celebrates strength

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Planned Parenthood South Atlantic has announced that its Standing Strong Charlotte event will be held on Oct. 4, 5:30 p.m., at 1429 Bryant St. The celebration welcomes Pulitzer Prizewinning photojournalist Stephanie Sinclair.

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Sinclair is an American photojournalist who is known for gaining unique access to the most sensitive gender and human rights issues around the world. Her work has been included in The New York Times, Time magazine and National Geographic.

The Standing Strong Reception at 5:30 p.m. features an international food tasting and complimentary beverages from five countries which Sinclair has photographed. It is followed by a program at 6:45 p.m. where Sinclair will share the stories behind her photographs and her journeys through gender rights issues around the globe. A VIP meet and greet dessert reception at 7:30 p.m. will be held for $1,500 and over sponsors and their guests. Attendees will be served sparkling wine, coffee and dessert pairings. Signed copies of “Women of Vision” will be given to sponsors and guests.

For more information on sponsorships, email Marcie Shealy at marcie.shealy@ppsat. org or call 704-405-9514. Ticket purchase and sponsorships are available online at bit.ly/2LGiNgu. See the website for details and sponsorship levels. info: standingstrongclt.org. ppsat.org.

Triangle Fest opens online bidding

RALEIGH, N.C. — The Crape Myrtle Festival 38’s online silent auction is now open for bidding.

There are over 100 items valued at $50,000 that have been donated to this year’s event.

Items featured include works by local artists Anthony Garcia-Copian, Bob Rankin, Joseph

DiGiulio, Sean Kernick and Sharon DiGiulio.

Also featured is a four-course dinner for six served to the bid winner in their own home by Donovan’s Dish. Blue Water Spa has donated over $10,000 of services.

Items in this year’s auction are available in all price ranges. Biding will end at 9:30 p.m. on July 28 unless there is a bidding war for an item. If there is a bidding war, time will be extended for that item until there is a winner.

Visit cmf.charitygrow.org to see the menu of items up for bid.

A free kickoff event, the Queen’s Ball, will start the Grand Gala Weekend on July 27, 6 p.m., and will be held at Parliament, 322 Glenwood Ave. The following evening at 7 p.m., the Grand Gala “Black Tie Affair” will take place at Vidrio, 500 Glenwood Ave. Tickets are $50 and are available online at bit.ly/2NEvSHV. info: crapemyrtlefest.org.

the men) said transgender individuals should use the restroom that matches their identity.

Twenty-one percent of the respondents (22 percent of the women and 19 percent of the men) said they were unsure.

Dr. Jenni Skyler, Adam & Eve’s resident sexologist, found these number encouraging.

“I’m grateful for the 18 states, plus Washington D.C., that have bathroom bills inclusive of transgender individuals,” said Skyler. “I’m hopeful for the other 32 to follow suit. It is my opinion that every human on this planet is entitled to the right to safety in both public and private spheres.”

Chad Davis, director of marketing for Adam & Eve added, “The purpose of Adam & Eve’s annual sex survey is to gauge changing sexual attitudes and values with American adults.”

The web-based survey was conducted by an independent third party survey company. info: adameve.com.

Regional

Regional Quick Hits

Trans bathroom survey numbers ready

Grace Nichols has joined Soulforce’s team as sabotage coordinator. Nichols, who resides in Durham, N.C., said that Soulforce was her lifeline during her earlier years when she was coming out. On her appointment, she said that she was excited to serve an organization that grapples with deep, difficult truths and seeks to liberate us all from the prolific impact of christian supremacy.” info: soulforce.org.

HILLSBOROUGH, N.C. —Adam & Eve has released results from their annual sex survey, where they asked over 1,000 adults if they felt transgender individuals should use public restrooms that match the sex they were assigned at birth.

While 30 percent of the respondents (24 percent of the women and 38 percent of the men) felt that transgender people should be required to use the restroom that matches their assigned birth sex, 48 percent of those polled (55 percent of the women and 43 percent of

Alliance for Full Acceptance is holding a Unity in the Community event on Aug. 9,

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6 p.m., at The Schoolhouse, 720 Magnolia Ave., in Charleston, S.C. Inspired by a desire to support and strengthen the connections between LGBTQ people of color and celebrate the community’s culture through the Art of Spoken Word with Gina Mocha, Spirituality and Conversation with Rev. Robert Arrington (Unity Fellowship Church) and a live performance by Symone N. O’Bishop. A meet and greet with light refreshments begins at 6 p.m., with the program following at 6:30 p.m. info: affa-sc.org.

Catawba Valley Pride will be held on Sept.

15 at the SALT Block, North Lawn, 243 3rd Ave. NE in Hickory, N.C., and is seeking vendors and non-profit organizations for their festival.

Vendor cost is $50 and non-profits is $25. Sign up is available online at tinyurl.com/yd4faycs. info: catawbavalleypride.org.

We Are Family’s Closet Case Thrift is now open from Wednesday-Sunday, 10 a.m.-7 p.m., at 529 Meeting St. The organization’s homeless drop-in and resource center, All Of Us, is seeking volunteers to staff shifts from MondayFriday, 9 a.m.-6 p.m. There are four positions available on a daily basis and one that comes as a “luxury,” the organization shared. Shifts are 8:45 a.m.-12 p.m., 12-3 p.m. and 3-6 p.m.

Training will be given to those who wish to volunteer in the reception area. Other positions do not require advanced training. Contact the center via email at volunteercoordinator@waf. org to learn more. The center is a cooperative project with the City of Charleston. info: waf.org.

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news notes: u.s./world compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

Research study shows mental health of young adults with lesbian parents the same as their peers LOS ANGELES, Calif. — In a new study by the Williams Institute, researchers found that 25-year-olds raised by lesbian parents do as well on multiple measures of psychological health as adults from a population-based sample. The researchers compared relationships, educational/job performance, and behavioral, emotional and mental health problems in the two samples.

The report, “National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study — Mental Health of Adult Offspring,” appears in The New England Journal of Medicine and is co-authored by Nanette Gartrell, M.D., visiting distinguished scholar, Williams Institute at the University of California, Los Angeles School of Law, along with Henny Bos, Ph.D., professor of child development and education, and endowed chair in sexual and gender diversity in families and youth at the University of Amsterdam and former visiting international scholar at the Williams Institute, and Audrey Koh, M.D., associate professor, Department of Obstetrics, Gynecology, and Reproductive Sciences, University of California, San Francisco.

The longest-running prospective study on sexual minority parent families has utilized 25-year-olds participants in the ongoing U.S. National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study

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(NLLFS), which has followed the same cohort of offspring from conception to adulthood.

Researchers focused on mental health because the peak incidence of many psychiatric disorders occurs during young adulthood.

The NLLFS, now in its 32nd year, has a 92 percent retention rate. This is the first NLLFS report based on data collected when the offspring were legal adults.

“When I began this study in 1986, there was considerable speculation about the future mental health of children conceived through donor insemination and raised by sexual minority parents,” said Gartrell. “We have followed these families since the mothers were inseminating or pregnant and now find that their 25-year-old daughters and sons score as well on mental health as other adults of the same age.”

“These findings demonstrate that claims that it is harmful for children to be raised by same-sex couples are completely unfounded,” added Bos. “There is no justification to restrict child custody or placement, or access to reproductive technologies, based on the parents’ sexual orientation.”

This is the 23rd publication from data collected in the NLLFS. Previous research found that the development of psychological well-being in these offspring over a seven-year

period from childhood through adolescence was the same for those conceived through known or unknown sperm donors. In addition, the absence of male role models did not adversely affect the psychological adjustment of 17-year-olds raised in lesbian households.

None of these 17-year-olds had been abused by a parent or caregiver. In contrast, 26 percent of 17-year-olds nationally report physical abuse and eight percent report sexual abuse by a parent or caregiver.

news

There are an estimated 114,000 samesex couples raising children in the United States, including 86,000 female couples. Ten states, including Alabama, Kansas, Michigan, Mississippi, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Texas, Virginia, allow state-licensed child welfare agencies to refuse to place and provide services to children and families if it conflicts with their religious beliefs, the Institute reported. info: williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu.

QUICK HITS —————————————————————————————— Gay actor George Takei has released a new augmented-reality app, House of Cats, which includes an imagined Donald Trump as Trumpy Cat, an orange tabby, along with other animated characters such as Meowlania, Vladdy Putin and Lil’ Rocket Pug, CNET reported. House of Cats is the first political app that puts users in the center of the action so they can interact with world leaders and the latest news by creating funny short videos, The Bay Area Reporter shared. It is available in both iOS and Adroid for 99 cents. A percentage of the net profits will be donated to Refugees International. info: cnet.co/2LBm54t. bit.ly/2uBll9d. houseofcats.com.

Lambda Literary has marked its 30th anniversary with the formation of its Leadership Council, a group of eminent LGBTQ writers, cultural figures and benefactors who will advise and advocate for the organization. Members are writers Hilton Als, Kate Bornstein, Jennifer Finney Boylan, Alexander Chee, David Ebershoff, Chuck Forester, Cherríe Moraga, Chinelo Okparanta, Justin Torres and Alok Vaid-Menon. Two former board presidents who are also novelists, Katherine V. Forrest and Judith Markowitz, have joined the council, as have J. Michael Samuel, a long-serving board treasurer, and writer/publisher and major donor Chuck Forester. info: lambdalliterary.org.

Sasha Garden, a transgender woman of color, became the fourth person murdered in the state of Florida in 2018. Earlier this year, Celine Walker, Antash’a English and Cathalina Christina James were murdered in the city of Jacksonville. info: equalityflorida.org.

The Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria has signed multi-year framework agreements with suppliers of HIV medication that will save $324 million by the end of 2021 and secure the supply of lifesaving drugs for over four million people. info: theglobalfund.org.

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Focus on the LGBTQ Family

Local abortion provider concerned over Trump Supreme Court pick Clinic in East Charlotte has faced thousands of protesters over past two years

by Matt Comer :: qnotes staff writer CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Every day is a new adventure for Calla Hales at East Charlotte’s A Preferred Women’s Health Center in Charlotte. Driving up to her clinic, which offers abortion care, can mean driving past literally hundreds of protesters lining the streets, blocking her clinic’s driveway or, even, stepping out into the street to stop passing cars.

“It’s pretty radical. It’s been going on three years that this has happened,” says Hales, 28, the director of administrative services at this Charlotte center and three more — one in Raleigh and two in Georgia.

By her count, more than 18,500 protesters showed up at her clinic last year alone. Each weekend, the numbers average more than 200 individual protesters in a day.

“I go out there and count them every day,” Hales says. “These sustained high numbers are arguably the highest in the U.S.” Hales is no stranger to attacks on abortion and reproductive health rights. The past handful of years have certainly exposed her to the increasing tension and tenacity of those who want to restrict abortion access. She’s been threatened, stalked, beaten and raped, all because of her job providing what she says is a critical health care service. Her story and that of her clinics, first established in Raleigh by her parents in 1998, have been profiled locally and nationally.

Her extensive history and involvement in reproductive health advocacy has certainly prepared Hales to face what she says is a “continuing escalation” in the fight by President Donald Trump’s nomination of Brett Kavanaugh to join the U.S. Supreme Court.

“The attack on abortion care is absolutely nothing new,” Hales says. “Kavanaugh is just a continuing escalation. It A scene from one of several protest marches and protests held by anti-choice organizations outside Hales’ clinic in Charlotte. In the front, shouldn’t be out of left-field for anybody.” clinic defenders and escorts help to show patients how to get around the march and access the clinic parking lot.

Trump announced his nomination of Kavanaugh on July 9, Photo Courtesy Calla Hales just days after sitting Associate Justice Anthony Kennedy announced his retirement on June 27. states would mean nearly automatic criminalization of the As a lawyer, Kavanaugh has taken decidedly conservative Trump’s choice was lauded by Republicans and conservahealthcare procedure. cases, which could raise the suspicious of progressives and LGBTQ tives, but it has only served to cause North Carolina, Hales points out, is not one of those states. advocates. In 1999, he argued in favor of a New alarm for advocates for LGBTQ Here, pre-Roe state law dating to 1968 — one of the earliest in Mexico school district’s student-led prayers people and women, Hales included. the nation, says Hales — legalizes abortion up to 20 weeks into a at football games. In 2000, he represented And she may have every right pregnancy.

Florida’s then-Gov. Jeb Bush, as he defended a and reason to raise the alarm, But there’s still much to be concerned about. Hales says school voucher program that redirected money sensing what she says has been attacks on abortion access have only grown. North Carolina from public schools to private religious schools. a “growing tension and hostility.” has debated continued restrictions and, over time, increased “Judge Kavanaugh’s record clearly Kavanaugh, she says, is just the the waiting period for abortion services. Today, patients must demonstrates his hostility toward civil rights,” latest possible attack. first seek counseling then wait 72 hours before an abortion is Lambda Legal, a national LGBTQ legal advoKavanaugh, 53, has served for 12 performed. cacy group, said in a release following his years on the D.C. Court of Appeals, And Hales says further attacks or limitations on abortion nomination. nominated to that role in 2003 could mean, quite literally, a life or death decision for many Progressives have been split on their

by President George W. Bush. A people. Many clinics would be forced to close, includviews regarding Kavanaugh and an even contentious three-year debate suring those which offer other healthcare services above and more conservatively biased Supreme Court rounded his nomination. Democrats beyond abortion. if he should be confirmed by the U.S. Senate. at the time feared he was far too “You’d basically create a desert for reproductive healthcare,” Some think future rulings will follow a timeconservative. Kavanaugh’s final Hales says, adding that many clinics offer services to women and proven tactic of the right — a slow chipping approval by the U.S. Senate came transgender people. “Patients would have to drive over 100 miles away at abortion rights and access, stopping in 2006, when only three Democrats to seek care at their nearest healthcare facility. …To continue to just short of making it illegal. voted to appoint him. restrict that, it’s going to sign a death warrant for a lot of people Hales disagrees.

Among the chief concerns are who cannot afford to travel for care.”

“I personally think he’s a bigger threat.

Kavanaugh’s potential rulings on Hales is hopeful that community members, residents and I’m pretty confident that if Kavanaugh is conreproductive health and same-sex voters will speak out. She’s especially hopeful federal lawmakers firmed, there will be an attempt to overturn marriage. will take action to block Kavanaugh’s confirmation.

Roe v. Wade,” Hales says, referring to the Last year, Kavanaugh ruled The issues surrounding poverty, childbirth and reproductive landmark 1973 Supreme Court ruling that against an undocumented teenager healthcare are complex and won’t be solved overnight, she says. legalized abortion access nationwide. seeking an abortion. In his ruling, But restricting abortion isn’t the answer either.

“This administration has said that [overKavanaugh criticized “abortion on “Even if [we lived in] in a perfect society, where birth turning Roe] is something they aim to do,” she demand.” He’s also been backed control was free and everyone used it regularly and correctly, adds. “People are hoping that this adminisCalla Hales at a march in Uptown. by the anti-LGBTQ Family Research abortion would still be necessary — birth control fails, and tration won’t do something that they’ve said Photo Courtesy Calla Hales Council, listed as a hate group by pregnancy has a higher mortality rate and risk than abortion they will, but they’re constantly proving to us the Southern Poverty Law Center. Kavanaugh has also been does,” Hales says. they’re willing to do just about anything to get what they want.” a strong supporter of so-called “religious freedom” measures To those who “don’t believe in abortion,” Hales has an easy The stakes are highest in states which have passed which seek to exempt anti-LGBTQ discrimination from civil solution: “They never have to have one if they don’t want one, but so-called “trigger laws” or have retained their as-of-now rights protections. it’s necessary healthcare for a lot of people.” : : unenforceable pre-Roe statutes. Overturning Roe in those 21

July 27-Aug. 9 . 2018

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life

Focus on the LGBTQ Family

New trends in marriage: Who takes whose last name?

Survey reveals big gaps between straight and gay couples

by Matt Comer :: qnotes staff writer

T

hree years after the U.S. Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage nationwide, the number of Americans saying they support legal gay marriage has continued to rise. In 1996,

just 27 percent supported marriage rights, and today 67 percent, more than two-thirds, support it.

With the rise in support has come a rise in the number of same-sex couples opting to take the plunge and grab their marriage certificates.

In 2013, just about 132,000 same-sex couples were married in the U.S. That number nearly doubled to 250,500 in 2015, the year the high court made its landmark ruling.

Today, about 61 percent of all cohabiting same-sex couples are married, up from just 38 percent before the Supreme Court’s ruling.

With such drastic changes in the lives, relationships and demography of LGBTQ people in the U.S., it should come as no surprise that the U.S. Census will for the first time ever ask directly about same-sex marriage in its 2020 national

count of the people. It’s one step closer in a long-fought effort to have LGBTQ people counted in the census, though it stops short of directly asking about sexual orientation or gender identity.

All these changing demographics beg the question, though: How do same-sex couples feel about some of the stereotypical traditions which have come with marriage throughout the centuries?

A new survey from YouGov, a private international surveying and data organization, has sought to find out in a new survey of American couples released this July.

By far, Americans continue to believe it is more important for heterosexual couples to share the same last name than it is for same-sex couples — 43 percent for heterosexual couples and just 20 percent for same-sex couples. And, sorry, straight women, you’re still giving up your last name, according to 44 percent of respondents.

Results for same-sex couples differ significantly.

In female same-sex couples 18 percent say that women should keep their last names and 13 percent say a new hyphenated last name should be created from the two partners’ last names.

For male same-sex couples, 19 percent say that men should keep their last names and 11 percent would opt for a hyphenated name.

A third option exists, too, for same-sex couples: Twenty percent say female couples should share whichever last name sounds best, compared to just 11 percent of male couples. : :

Foster care, adoption and the LGBTQ family Becoming well-versed on laws and issues an imperative

by Torie Dominguez :: qnotes staff writer

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religious exemption law on the global stage. In February, Lambda Legal filed a suit in federal court against the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, an affiliate of which had refused to allow a Texas lesbian couple to apply to become foster parents to an unaccompanied refugee child. According to the USCCB partner organization, the household of Fatma Marouf and Bryn Esplin, who are married, did not “mirror the Holy Family.”)

The Obergefell decision helped to nullify de facto prohibitions on fostering or adoption

by LGBTQ couples who could previously have been turned down on the basis that they were unmarried, or that their marriages were unrecognized in their states of residence.

Married couples, now unequivocally including those of the same sex, are expressly permitted to pursue joint adoption in all 50 states and the District of Columbia. Similarly, a same-sex spouse must be granted equal protection in pursuing stepparent adoption of their partner’s child. Partners whose unions are not legally binding may face greater hurdles when seeking to become parents, either jointly or through second-parent adoption.

Where does all this leave Carolinians? The Human Rights Campaign’s All Children – All Families initiative evaluates child and family welfare agencies across seven policy areas it designates “benchmarks of LGBTQ inclusion” and publicizes those it has awarded its seal of recognition, as well as those in the pro-

cess of conferring with the Human Rights Campaign Foundation — the campaign group’s charitable arm — in pursuit of that endorsement. Of the nearly 100 agencies participating, only one is located much closer than Atlanta, Ga. Nathanson Adoption Services in Charlotte, N.C. has yet to achieve what Human Rights Photo Credit: zoomyimages via Adobe Stock

inning approval to foster a child can mean months of waiting, and navigating the road to adoptive parenthood may require years. Activists and politicians, meanwhile, battle ceaselessly to gain whatever ground they can in pursuit of their ultimate policy goals. For LGBTQ people considering fostering or adoption, therefore, it’s vital not only to become well-versed in the relevant laws already on the books, but to follow closely any developments that may affect their ability to expand their families in the future — in particular, the rise of so-called “religious exemption” statutes.

Laws specifically governing foster eligibility are both less common and less clear than those pertaining to legal, permanent adoption, with 42 states having no law addressing fostering by LGBTQ individuals and families. What rules do exist are more likely to limit than to protect their rights. While it is possible to count on one hand the states that prohibit discrimination against prospective foster parents on the basis of sexual orientation, and even fewer cite gender identity as a protected characteristic, 10 explicitly allow child-placement agencies to refuse service when they deem that to provide it would violate their sincerely held religious beliefs. Locally, South Carolina and Virginia are among the jurisdictions to have embraced such measures, which in all cases apply to both fostering and adoption. Proposed religious exemptions elsewhere met with mixed results as the most recent legislative session came to a close in May: Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin signed into law another license to discriminate, in the form of SB 1140; Kansas’ HB 2481 died in conference; and Colorado’s SB 241 was defeated on a voice vote in the Senate.

(Intriguingly, at least one challenge currently making its way through the courts reveals the potential impact of state-level

Campaign terms “leader” status, but its self-assessment is under review. North Carolina’s ban on second-parent adoption, a process by which one partner in an unmarried same- or differentsex couple adopts the biological or adoptive child of the other without diminishing the latter’s parental rights, was overturned following a lawsuit filed by the ACLU in 2013. : :

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Music Scene

Jordan reaches new heights, drawing strength from pain The Charlotte-based artist is recording his debut full-length album

by Jeff Taylor :: qnotes contributor

D

exter Jordan is having a moment, and it is hard earned in more ways than one.

The Charlotte-based singer grew up steeped in song, the product of a music minister father and a mother who sang in the choir, and he took up singing at the age of five.

At that young age, he already showed he had pipes while singing at Mount Zion Baptist Church in Greensboro, N.C., becoming a member of the choir just like his mom.

The 24-year-old, who was raised in Millry, Ala. — a town so small it was without a hospital, so he was actually born in Mississippi — moved to Greensboro with his mother in 2002.

His parents divorced.

He was just 13 when he stepped into the spotlight of the historic and notoriously intimidating Apollo Theater in New York City, where the audience isn’t afraid to boo a teenager chasing their dreams off the stage.

He drew strength from his mother, LaFondra Jordan, waiting in the wings, who was always supportive of his talents. She continued to believe in him when he decided, at age 20, that he wanted to pursue music professionally.

She was also supportive when he came out, Jordan told qnotes.

“My sister and my mom were the first people I told,” he said.

While he admits there is room for growth, he is grateful that they, as he put it, “just want me to be happy and successful in life.

“My family still loves me regardless. I am thankful that I have a family that, even though they’re not understanding, they still accept me.”

That level of support, while fundamental in shaping him into the person and artist he is

today, only made losing his mother, in 2016 to cancer, that much harder to handle.

For the first time in his life, he didn’t have his number one supporter by his side.

“I was just very lost,” he recalled. “I just had to take time away from everything.”

He decided he needed to focus simply on living instead of on creating art or pursing a project.

“During that time, I kind of didn’t even know how to be an artist,” he admitted. “I didn’t know what I wanted to do, honestly. That was just a difficult thing to go through.

“And it’s still hard to go through right now.

So, I’m surprised that I’m even making music at this moment.”

But he has returned to his love of singing with a renewed spirit, and a perspective that has been strengthened through loss.

Jordan was inspired to return to his creative outlet when his friend, rapper and producer Yung Citizen, reminded him why he got into music in the first place. He encouraged Jordan to contribute to a collaborative EP, “Alive Sessions,” that was to feature a number of eclectic local artists, and pour out his emotions through music, as he had always done before.

When it came time to contribute his verse to the track, “Heaven’s Door,” Jordan, for the first time, put his feelings about his mother’s passing into song, and proved to himself what his friend already knew: That he still had plenty left to express. Perhaps more now than ever.

Late last year, Jordan again proved that fact when he released the single “Hello, New Me,” for which he made his first music video.

In both, the themes of self-acceptance and recovery are abundant.

“Looked in the mirror and I like what I see/Took a long time to get it right, but I finally love me,” he sings, removing his shirt, decked out in makeup and glitter.

“Goodbye, goodbye, old me/Hello, hello, new me,” he croons.

“Took a long time to get it right/ Took a long time just to get it right/ Yeah, it took a long time to get it right/ But I finally love me,” he declares in the chorus, with obvious conviction.

The song quickly gained Jordan some newfound attention, including from singer Yebba, who encouraged her fans to check the track out on her Instagram story.

“That inspired me to be like, ‘Wow, I guess I need to put out a project,’” Jordan said of unexpectedly receiving the recognition from an artist he respects.

Inspired by the moment, he started a new project: Recording his first full-length album, which he reported includes elements of R&B, hip-hop and jazz.

Jordan is working with producer and singer-songwriter Jason Jet, and is dedicating the project to the memory of his mother, as well as his friend K.J., who died as a result of suicide after dealing with mental health issues.

He said his friend’s passing further inspired him to keep pushing ahead with his music.

“I felt a heavy weight on me when he passed,” Jordan said. “It just meant a lot. I loved K.J. and I loved my mom, and I felt like a lot of things were happening at one time

that I didn’t understand.”

His friend’s passing also played a part in his decision to study sociology, which he does at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte.

“It’s bittersweet when I think about my friend. But I also know that he would always want me to keep staying with music.”

He knows his mother would feel the same.

He intends to make both of them proud, and shows no signs of stopping now. : : Dexter Jordan will perform at this year’s Charlotte Pride festival, held Aug. 18 and 19 in Uptown, alongside such acts as Superfruit, Jessica Sutta, Cupcakke, Ultra Naté, and others. More information is available online at charlottepride.org.

Musician Quisol — kicking down doors The singer-songwriter is out with a new EP and will perform at Charlotte Pride

by Jeff Taylor :: qnotes contributor

W

hen Joseph Quisol picked up a guitar at 17 and began teaching himself to play with the aide of YouTube videos, he didn’t have a grander vision of where it might take him. At that point taking it anywhere at all wasn’t even a passing thought.

The singersongwriter, who was born in Sacramento, Calif. and moved to Charlotte, N.C. in the fifth grade, was following youthful inspiration, not ambition, when he began making music, telling qnotes he started simply “because it was fun and I liked creating it.”

Just five years later he is already beginning to enjoy the type of accomplish-

ments, and subsequent attention, that some lifelong musicians never achieve.

Quisol released the EP “The World Keeps Turning,” in February of this year, and while it only contains three tracks, one of which was also on his full-length album, “An Aural Autobiography,” released in 2015, it constitutes a leap forward in his sound.

This is nowhere more evident than on the newer version of the eponymous track, “The World Keeps Turning,” which appears on both releases. In both cases, his strong songwriting abilities shine through, with a clear understanding of how to layer melodies and add depth without falling into distraction and chaos. But it is this latest version that really jumps to life and stays stuck in your head.

He calls his blend of airy acoustic guitars, electronic beats, occasional smattering of horns, and sultry voice “Latinx Future,” which was fleshed out by a crew of Charlotte-based musicians, with whom he first worked after returning home from study-

ing political science at the College of Charleston.

After gigging around Charlotte with his band — Michael Gonzalez (congas), Nik Maldonado (percussion) and Kevin Washburn (saxophone) — as well as playing some solo shows, and recording the EP, Quisol received a grant to attend Harvard University for graduate school, graduating with a degree in Art in Education in May of this year.

It is an opportunity he doesn’t take for granted, and one that has built upon itself, clearing the way for further opportunities.

The biggest of those came while playing and organizing shows in Boston, Mass. like he had done in Charlotte with Queens Collective — an arts and culture group he helped lead — at a DIY space on top of an apartment building. Someone who was duly impressed by what he was doing there told him about the Live Arts Boston Grant and encouraged him to apply.

“It was up to $15,000 to do a performing arts project. I pitched a project to do a collaborative mixtape on liberation featuring all queer artists of color,” he explained.

His proposal was approved, and he was awarded the full sum, allowing him to pay for the performances, the recording and the mixing and mastering. It also afforded the chance to

see Quisol on 20

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Queer Culture

Kathy Griffin and Madonna are best friends The comedienne speaks candidly about her latest world tour

by Jack Kirven :: qnotes contributor

I

asked Kathy Griffin what she wanted the title of this piece to be. I told her she could choose, and so she did. I have no compunction about admitting upfront that I absolutely love Kathy, so you should understand that what I’m about to write isn’t going to be neutral, objective or dry. In fact, in some parts I might even quote her filthy cursing, because that’s the only way to do our conversation justice.

A huge amount written about Kathy over the last year or more has been focused on one single event and how it’s affected her life. It’s still affecting her in many ways, both foreseen and surprising. But other people can write about that ad nauseam. I want to write about Kathy, not what other people say about her.

“Heeeeeeeey, Jack! I’m reading your profile, and it says you have a terminal degree in dance?” Kathy asked me. I was so hoping she’d start like that.

“Yep, it’s terminal,” I relied, setting up the volley ball for her to spike it.

“So, is it killing you?”

“It can seem like it while you’re finishing it! And by the way, I love your short hair, no matter what ‘The Globe’ says about it falling out. It looks good short: It brings out the lupus in your eyes!” I say coyly.

“Yeah, they go right for the jugular. It’s crazy what they make up in the paparazzi,” she replied.

“So, they’re purposefully ignoring what happened with your sister’s passing from cancer, and your brother only a few years before that?”

“They don’t care about truth.”

But Kathy does. And she speaks her truth with a righteous fury. It really is a spectacle of sorts to listen to her banter on the phone.

From that point on, it’s mostly a blur. I didn’t need to ask many questions, because the woman was absolutely oozing with news.

You’ve already heard the main points, I’m sure, so let’s just say it’s still infusing her work with new material. And rightly so!

What I think is very important to remember is that whether you agree with someone or not, it’s unacceptable to wish that person death. It’s not right to menace them. It certainly isn’t very American to use your own free speech to try to take away someone else’s (or to intimidate them into abandoning that right in an effort to protect themselves and their loved ones). Dialogue of all timbres is specifically what makes free peoples free.

And that brings up an interesting idea: The critique of the critic. The role of court jesters was to speak truth to power with impunity. It was the task of the fool to speak wisdom to the king and his court.

That same function is the bailiwick of modern comedians, who are artists using humor to paint pictures.

Often those pictures aren’t very flattering, because they show us portraits of ourselves that might resemble Dorian Gray’s.

But just because a person is free to speak doesn’t mean they’re free from criticism themselves. And so Kathy is mocked for mocking.

The difference, in my mind, is that Kathy aims to capture something of the spirit of our times, and rumor rags purposefully lie. Comedy punks reality in an effort to help us cope with it. Tabloids break reality in an effort to scandalize readers and demoralize public figures.

One of the consequences of Kathy’s actions presents itself at foreign airports. Because she was charged with conspiring to assassinate the President of the United States, Kathy has been placed on certain lists.

“I sometimes get detained for hours in places where it’s illegal to be gay. I wanted to say it, but I didn’t think, ‘Hey, could you hurry the fuck up? I have a room full of cock-sucking gays waiting to hear my jokes about dicks and cocaine’ would help the situation. Besides I didn’t know how to say it to people in Singapore anyway.”

I should note that Kathy repeated many times that her current tour does focus on comedy. It’s not a laundry list of complaints or injustices. She’s finding the absurd in all this and continuing on with her career, despite the fact that some very powerful forces have sought her ruin.

Whether you like her public persona or not; whether you agree with her politics or not; whether you think she’s funny or not; Kathy Griffin is an example of strength and bravery.

Her opponents would likely disagree with me, but I feel that Kathy is doing her job as an engaged citizen. She’s putting herself into the middle of the maelstrom and flipping everyone the bird. And why not?

In a democratic republic with free elections, we get the government and the culture we deserve.

We elected these people. We created our current situation.

Why shouldn’t someone like Kathy Griffin use her podium to regurgitate indignities? I’d argue that it’s people who take these risks who honor our nation best. Regardless of which party’s in power, we need truth tellers who dare to push back against cynical dishonesty and flippant bigotry.

“Hey, Kathy?”

“Yes, hon?”

“When the protestors fly a blimp over your show, do you think you’ll be wearing a diaper and holding a cell phone?”

“I certainly hope so!” : : Kathy Griffin will perform at the Belk Theatre, 130 N. Tryon St., in Blumenthal Performing Arts on Aug. 3 at 8 p.m. as part of her Laugh Your Head Off World Tour. Tickets range from $45-$125 and are available online at bit.ly/2Khurlt.

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out in print

by Terri Schlichenmeyer :: qnotes contributor

‘Wild Mares’ explores life on the land “Wild Mares: My Lesbian Back-to-The-Land Life”

by Dianna Hunter ©2018, University of Minnesota Press $18.95 / higher in Canada, 241 pages

Y

ou were going to change the world.

It’s true that you were one small voice, just one person with a vision, but you were sure it could be done. You were going to change the world, one corner at a time — starting with the one you called home. And in the new book “Wild Mares: My Lesbian Back-to-The-Land Life” by Dianna Hunter, that’s sometimes all it takes.

Growing up in rural South Dakota, Hunter learned what “queer” was long before she understood her own sexuality.

She was “seventeen, cosseted, closeted, and clueless” then but, once enrolled in college and living in Minneapolis in an atmosphere of early-1970s feminism and LGBTQ activism, she “surprised” herself by coming out.

By then, classmates had introduced her to new friends, who introduced her to a lesbian community that raised her consciousness. Hunter learned how to be an activist, and she helped to create safe places for lesbians to socialize; when friends began to think about establishing a collective farm in Minnesota, she was highly intrigued.

“We were headed toward our dream and our vexation,” she says.

“Women’s Land, Open to All Women.”

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And it felt like the right “path to freedom.” At the first farm Hunter lived on, women and children shared the work and the bounty; “Voluntary poverty and group living” taught them that they “didn’t need much money to get by,” and they didn’t need men to care for livestock or outbuildings. Hunter soaked up every bit of information she could, and when it was time to move on, she and her next housemate rode their own horses more than 200 miles to another farm.

Through the years, there were other farms and other horses.

Friends and lovers came and went, societal attitudes changed and, though now retired, Hunter was eventually able to buy and manage a dairy farm near Lake Superior.

“To many onlookers,” she says, “our lesbian-feminist back-tothe-land dream must have seemed strange and unrealistic, but we were far from the only ones who dreamed it.”

“Utopia” is a word that Hunter uses when recalling the first 15 years after coming out as a lesbian. No word could be more apt because, despite tales of lack and hardship, “Wild Mares” makes that life sound positively serene.

And yet, there’s angst here, starting with a constant stream of people who move in and out of Hunter’s narrative, taking their drama with them and re-inserting it. After awhile, that seems like just more of the same and character fatigue may begin to set in; it doesn’t help that there are several farms involved, adding to the consternation.

Even so, Hunter’s introspection, her eagerness to do anything to find her “utopia” and her love of the land take over and make this book palatable. Overall and in the end, it turns out to become a worthwhile look at non-traditional 20th Century farming and a Midwestern lesbian history.

Yes, “Wild Mares” is a little relentless in its overly-peopled telling, but it’s also something different, for a change. : :

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Allergies can impair quality of life and contributes to the loss of work for many adults as well as the absence from school for many children. It is an economic burden equal to $2 to $4 billion dollars was in lost productivity annually.

Allergies can be seasonal or year-round. Seasonal allergies only occur during predictable times of the year such as spring or fall. It also depends on the blooming season, where pollen is falling from flowers, trees, or various weeds. Year-round allergies are persistent allergies that are caused by non-seasonal things, such as molds, dust mites, animal dander, cigarette smoke, or various chemicals. Common signs of allergies include: sneezing, runny nose, itchy eyes, itchy nose, itchy throat, teary eyes, frequent throat clearing, stuffy nose, and cough.

There are various ways to treat or manage symptoms during the allergy season. The main treatment option is to completely avoid the allergen. Pollen is usually the worst in the early mornings or late at night, so staying inside when pollen levels are high is a good option. Other ways to avoid allergens are getting rid of carpeting, avoid attics, showering or bathing after outdoor activities, leaving shoes at the door after coming from outside, drying clothes in a vented dryer instead of outdoors, and avoiding mold and damp areas. Avoiding allergens can be hard for people who love to participate in outdoor activities, so another option is to use over-thecounter medications to control allergies.

There are many medications to treat allergies. These options include antihistamines, which help treat the symptoms that you may experience with allergies. You may be familiar with these medications, such as Zyrtec, Claritin, Xyzal, and Allegra. Zyrtec, Claritin, and Xyzal are used to treat both seasonal and year-round allergies. However, Allegra is another oral antihistamine that is used to treat seasonal allergies only. These options are great for individuals that have to work and go to school because they are known to cause less drowsiness than other medications on the market. Other options are Benadryl or Chlor-Trimeton.

These options are great, but not ideal for someone that is working because they cause drowsiness and dry mouth more frequently.

They will better benefit individuals if taken at night. Another great option is Singulair, which can be chewable and is easier for older individuals to use. Singulair is used to treat both seasonal and yearround allergies.

Over-the-counter treatment options are for children and adults over the age of 12. If you suspect that your child has allergies and they are at least 12 years old, please see your family doctor or pediatrician to verify that they do have allergies before providing them with any over-the-counter options. If you are under the age of 12 years old, pregnant, or a breastfeeding mother, please see your primary care provider before taking these medications to treat allergies.

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spiritual reflections

by Rev. Dawn Flynn :: guest contributor

Faith in the LGBTQ family

F

Whether our family is defined by blood or by rom the beginning of the Holy Scriptures a chosen collective of friends, we are to treat in the Book of Genesis, the family is the everyone with love and respect as we would cornerstone upon which God’s people live. want them to treat us. Many LGBTQ folks do As we read throughout the Book of Genesis, not have a good relationship with their blood we find the Creator talking and interacting families because they have been abused, lied with the patriarchs (Adam, Noah, Abraham, to and hurt. God knows that, and will bring Isaac, Jacob, Joseph) and their partners (Eve, judgment upon those individuals on Judgment Naamah, Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah Day for the hurt they have and Asenath). God’s future caused us. However, for now, plan to bless all people, we are called to love all people all families, through including our blood family. That Abraham’s descendants means if we cannot have a civil would come through the relationship with them, we are generations of families to pray for God to change them of the Hebrew nation. and forgive them, for Jesus The family unit continsaid in Matthew 5:44, “But I say ued throughout the Old to you, love your enemies and Testament to be crucial pray for those who persecute for the survival of the you” (NRSV). We can’t love and Hebrew nation. Each pray for those who persecute member had responsibiliPhoto Credit: freshidea via Adobe Stock us without the strength of God. ties to ensure the survival The Apostle Paul tells us in Philippians 4:13, “I of their family. That has not changed. Whether can do all things through him who strengthens it be in straight family or LGBTQ family, God still me.” Because we are human, we will fail in our moves and blesses the family members as they attempts to pray for those who hurt, but we are faithfully fulfill their responsibilities. told that God will bless us for our efforts.

No where in the Bible does it say that God LGBTQ people are God’s people as are does not love LGBTQ people. God’s Law in the all created people. The promise made to the Old Testament was to lead and guide God’s Hebrews in the Old Testament is also for chosen people, the Jews, in their life, giving the Gentiles, including LGBTQ people. In the them guidelines on how to worship the Creator Book of Acts God revealed this promise to the and to treat their neighbors. Fulfillment of that Apostle Peter in a dream about both clean and was best exemplified when Jesus was asked unclean animals in which God told him to get what the greatest commandment was and, he up and eat. God did not distinguish between said in Matthew 22:36-40, “You shall love the the clean and unclean animals. This exempliLord your God with all your heart, and with all fies that God’s love and promises were for the your soul, and with all your mind.” This is the Gentiles, as well as the Hebrews, for previously greatest and first commandment. And the secthe Gentiles were considered unclean. This ond is like it: “you shall love your neighbor as means we are all, straight and LGBTQ people, yourself. On these two commandments hang one family under the Creator. all the law and the prophets” (NRSV). Which When family situations get unbearable, hold means we are to love all people, our neighbors tight, and seek strength from the Lord. The Lord and our families (blood or chosen collective of will never leave us. Always remember what the friends), whether they be straight or LGBTQ, Prophet Jeremiah said in Lamentations 3:22-25, and whether we get along or not.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, Granted, loving all people is not easy, his mercies never come to an end; they are new especially for LGBTQ people, as we have been every morning; great is your faithfulness. ‘The attacked, beaten up, harassed and killed for Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘therefore I will being our true selves. It would be easy to exact hope in him.’ The Lord is good to those who wait revenge for the hurt we have suffered. But the for him, to the soul that seeks him” (NRSV). : : Holy Scriptures tell us we are not to do that — Rev. Dawn Flynn is the pastor of as it says in Matthew 7: 12, “In everything do New Life Metropolitan Community Church to others as you would have them do to you; in Gastonia, N.C. for this is the law and the prophets” (NRSV).

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tell trinity

by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

Communication: Is it really that important?

Hello Trinity, My partner constantly says, “Communication is everything. If you ‘want’ a relationship, you have to ‘want’ to communicate!” Really?

Why Talk, Indianapolis, Indiana Hello Why Talk, How important is communication to a relationship besides a good martini you ask? Well, how disastrous would life be if cellphones stopped, U.N. translators stopped or airport communication towers just shut down? Communication really is the foundation to every successful interaction, including relationships. So, honey, if you want your relationship to soar, you must learn to love communication which includes: accepting the word “no,” compromising and agreeing peacefully to sometimes disagree.

Oh, and respect. Without it you’re just another murder trial on Dateline TV! Hey Trinity, I’m in month three with my new boyfriend, and it seems like I have to be secretary, cook and chauffeur. I don’t mind it, but does dating mean acquiring a set of degrees and licenses too?

Back To School, Boston, MA Hey BTS, Yes, dating does require someone to become

handyman, housekeeper and honorary judge, never mind psychic and philosopher and therapist. Sorry, sweetie, but if cats need nine lives for the perfect life cycle, you may need nine professions for the perfect relationship. Good luck. (My cartoon sure shows how diversified someone has to be to have a successful relationship. It really is amazing how all of this looks on paper, right? Who would have thought this of the outset a first relationship, let alone any that come after it.)

Dearest Trinity, My girlfriend and I have been dating monogamously for nine months. However, I still fantasize about my ex. Controlling my desires is tough enough, but do I have to control my fantasies too?

Mind Over Matter, Houston, TX Dearest Mind Over Matters, Everyone fantasizes. It’s healthy, but you really need to be fantasizing about your new mate. So, let’s try NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming. It works like this: visualize a clear, colorful picture of you being intimate with your ex, then make the picture black and white, then blurry, then let it get smaller until it disappears. After you do this a few times simply bring back a new picture of you making love to your new girlfriend. Start it

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small, blurry and black and white, then make it bigger, clearer and more colorful. It’s that simple, darling! And if this fails, change girlfriends!

Dear Trinity, After living in Wilton Manors (Florida) for many years, I notice that most gay men are ready for action at any moment of the day or night. If I want into this “game” how can I make a good player?

Men Of Wilton, Wilton Manors, FL Dear Men of WM, A good gay man knows how to make someone feel “right at home.” This includes making a good home before you have someone in your home. And, pumpkin, while we’re on the subject, here’s: Trinity’s Smart Tips For How To Be A Gay Man And A Great Sex Partner 1. Preparation: Before lying down with someone, you must always prepare the perfect lighting.

2. Cleanliness: Gay men always promise clean bed sheets, period.

3. Respect: Gay men always turn off all phones and give roommates “the signal” to stay away.

4. E xternal Mood: Gay men always keep the remote control for music and lighting at arm’s reach for easy adjustment.

5. I nternal Mood: Gay men always have a Merlot, Shiraz or Cabernet around to help set the mood.

6. T ools of the Trade: In the second drawer of the nightstand, gay men always keep plenty

of hand towels, lube and condoms, plus a few surprises.

7. G rooming: Gay men often trim the pubic area and genitals for a youthful glow.

8. Manners: Gay men always try to “finish” at the same time or help the one who didn’t finish first, finish last. No one leaves incomplete.

9. Charm: If one man is “dirty,” the phrase, “Let’s first take a shower together” always turns a disaster into a delightful rendezvous.

10. Finale: If man A explodes on man B, then man A always gets a warm cloth to wipe off man B It’s only polite! info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

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a&e

Quisol continued from page 13 hold a release show, tentatively scheduled for sometime in March of next year.

In addition to working with a number of Boston-area artists, he has reached back to his Charlotte connections for this project, featuring artists like R&B singer Dexter Jordan.

Sharing in the wealth of his successes is essential to him, and a testament to his belief in the importance of building and sustaining relationships and communities.

“There’s a song I am working on for this project called ‘Hidden Doors,’” he explained.

“And the idea is that Harvard is kind of like many places in the world where there are a lot of hidden doors. They’re doors that open if you know who to ask, or if you have direct connections, or if you have enough money.

“So, because I had this big scholarship [the Gates Millennium Scholarship, from the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation], they paid for my graduate school. If not for that key, I wouldn’t have been able to open this hidden door, such as Harvard. And without Harvard, I wouldn’t have had the resources, the connections to even know about these grants and apply for them.

“Now it’s about kicking down those doors and letting my people in, which is a line in the song.”

He is also working with Jay Kelley, with whom he performed at the now closed Eagle Speak Coffeehouse in South Charlotte, and Jasmine Fuego, who was also part of Queens Collective and is currently based in the Bay Area in California.

Quisol has family in that part of the country as well, on his father’s side, and is considering relocating there soon.

“On the one hand, I really want to build in the Southeast geographically, but I feel like the way things are going with my career and music, I want to spend some time in California,” he said.

Family has always been an important part of his life, and that has only become truer with time.

While the love and support were always there, when it came to his sexuality, they were not always so understanding.

“They’re a pretty conservative immigrant family: Filipino on one side, Puerto Rican on the other side,” he explained.

That intolerance was reinforced by his family’s church: the Mecklenburg Community Church.

They were drawn to the services’ strong musical component, as well as the community advocacy and organizing work it does for underserved communities, such as those experiencing poverty and homelessness.

It helped inspire Quisol’s own activism and interest in music, but it was far from LGBTQ affirming. The general understanding was it was only okay to be gay, but only if one remained celibate, he shared.

“And that’s been the church’s stance forever. I understand that’s just the way people were raised to think, and that’s the belief they hold onto,” he said.

He has since found peace in a more affirming church, and his family has come around to “not only accept me, but be supportive and proud,” he said.

When it comes to what he creates, he knows he has to “do it well, and to a high caliber because I can’t afford not to.”

“There’s definitely that pressure to do really well now, because there’s a lot invested in it, and I don’t want to lose it all,” he admitted.

And while he may not know exactly where life is leading him, one thing is certain: He is looking ahead with plenty of space left to grow, with no signs of stopping. : : Quisol will perform at this year’s Charlotte Pride festival, held Aug. 18 and 19 in Uptown, alongside such acts as Superfruit, Jessica Sutta, Cupcakke, Ultra Naté, and others.

More information is available online at charlottepride.org.

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EVENTS July-August 2018 Charlotte Black Gay Pride Expo Le Meridien, 555 South McDowell St., Charlotte 12-5 p.m.

Charlotte Black Gay Pride’s annual Expo, presented by Bank of America, featuring a variety of vendors and entertainment from T.S. Madison and headliner Terrell Carter of FOX’s “Empire” and Tyler Perry stage plays. Free and open to the public. charlotteblackgaypride.org.

–––––––––––––––––––– Rod Stewart w/ Special Guest Cyndi Lauper Spectrum Center 333 E. Trade St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m.

Two pop legends on one stage, set to take Uptown by storm. Tickets including standard and verified resale $48-$450. livenation.com/artists/41438/rod-stewart.

SEP JUL MO

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Charlotte Black Gay Pride SEP JUL MO Sunday Jazz Brunch 1801 N. Tryon St. #609, Charlotte 11 a.m.-3 p.m.

Live jazz band performance accompanied by buffet brunch. Vegetarian and vegan options available. Cash bar. Tickets are $40 individually or $70 for couples. bit.ly/cbgpjazzbrunch.

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The Adventures of Kesha SEP AUG MO and Macklemore PNC Music Pavilion 707 Pavilion Blvd., Charlotte 7 p.m.

Former LA Pride, San Diego Pride and Pittsburgh Pride and wedding officiant Kesha teams up with ally-anthem “Same Love” rapper Macklemore, with tour proceeds to benefit anti- sexual abuse campaign Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) and Plus1. Tickets $30$113, artist VIP packages $265. livemu.sc/2LB9nmn.

00 01

Continues through Aug. 5 SEP AUG MO Discordia Days Burlesque Festival Shiners 435 Mapleleaf Dr., Greensboro Community Theatre of Greensboro 520 S. Elm St. Thursday-Saturday, 8-10 p.m.

Sunday, 12 a.m.-2 p.m.

Triad-area burlesque company The Discordia Dames and their leader Memphis Muerte host this fifth annual celebration featuring live music, comedy and drag alongside burlesque artists from around the country. Thursday evening kickoff and Sunday brunch performances take place at Shiners bar, $10 general admission or $15 VIP. Friday and Saturday night shows at Community Theatre of Greensboro $30 GA or $50 VIP. Weekend passes available for $80 GA or $100 VIP. Proceeds benefit Gate City Legal Services. bit.ly/discordiadays.

00 02

Submit your event to our calendar!

Email calendar@goqnotes.com with complete information. All submissions must include date, event name, location, address, city, time, a short description of the event including costs and an email and web address for the submitting organization.

Pentatonix SEP AUG MO PNC Music Pavilion 707 Pavilion Blvd., Charlotte 8 p.m.

The 5-piece a cappella sensation plays the Queen City ahead of members Mitch Grassi and Scott Hoying’s Charlotte Pride appearance as duo Superfruit.

Pentatonix guest artists Echosmith and Calum Scott.

Tickets $25-$145. livenation.com/artists/50823/pentatonix.

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‘Over the Rainbow’ Pride SEP AUG MO Weekend Kickoff Rooftop210 @ The Epicentre 210 E. Trade St. level 3, Charlotte 8-10 p.m.

Buff Faye headlines this extravagant multi-performer drag event to benefit Campus Pride. Doors open at 8 p.m. for the 9:30 show. Tickets are $10. bit.ly/overtherainbowdrag.

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Continues through Aug. 19 Charlotte Pride Festival & Parade Uptown Charlotte Various Times Charlotte’s annual LGBTQ Pride festival and parade takes over Uptown Charlotte with two days of vendors, entertainment, food and more. Sunday’s parade runs 1-3 p.m. charlottepride.org.

SEP AUG MO

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Pride Fest ft. Alyssa Edwards SEP AUG MO Rooftop210 @ the Epicentre 210 E. Trade St. #B320, Charlotte 7 p.m.-2 a.m.

The Vanity House and Rooftop 210 present Alyssa Edwards and the Vanity House cast: Erica Chanel, Jack Dahlia, and Pandora Mystére. Doors open at 7 p.m. for the 10 p.m. show. Ticket prices $20-$75. bit.ly/pridefestdrag.

–––––––––––––––––––– Just Twirl Candyland Pride Party Flight Beer Garden & Music Hall 314 N. College St., Charlotte 10 p.m.-2:30 a.m.

DJ Joe Gauthreaux headlines. Ages 21+ with valid ID required. Ticket prices are $15 when purchased online through July 18, $20 through August 11, $25 thereafter. A portion of proceeds will benefit Charlotte Pride and the Twirl to the World Foundation. bit.ly/candylandtwirl.

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Drag Me to Dinner Vida Cantina 410 E. Trade St., Charlotte 7-10 p.m.

RuPaul’s Drag Race alum Coco Montrese and The Vanity House star performer Pandora Mystére headline this free event also featuring Erica Chanel, Jack Dahlia, Jinx Matthews, Skylar Michelle-Monet and Paris Brooks-Bonet. bit.ly/dragmetodinner.

SEP AUG MO

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Glory Sunday T-Dance SEP AUG MO Rooftop 210 @ the Epicentre 210 E. Trade St. level 3, Charlotte 3-9 p.m.

Post-parade party featuring live DJ, go-go and drag performers along with drink specials.

Tickets $20. bit.ly/glorytdance.

00 19

Continues through Aug. 25 South Carolina MSM HIV Prevention Institute 1066 Sunset Blvd., West Columbia, SC The conference marks “10 Years of Empowerment, Enlightenment, and Education” as it brings together clinicians, social workers, community and service organizations, health departments, advocates and academics.

Registration is $50 and scholarships are available. bit.ly/prevention2018.

SEP AUG MO

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Chae Buttuh & DJ SEP AUG MO FemitheFemme The Artist Bloc 1020 W. Gate City Blvd., Greensboro 10 p.m.-1 a.m.

Rising trap star Chae Buttuh performs followed by house from DJ FemitheFemme. Doors open at 9:30 p.m. Tickets $8 online until Aug. 19, $10 at the door. bit.ly/chaefemme.

00 25

Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/

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life

Our People:

Q&A with Kendra R. Johnson Executive Director, Equality North Carolina

by Torie Dominguez :: qnotes staff writer Newly-minted Executive Director of Equality North Carolina (ENC), Kendra Johnson is a lifelong campaigner for the public good.

From childhood volunteerism and neighborhood cleanups in the Bible belt to racial and economic justice in South America, she’s devoted herself to raising up those at the margins of society. Most recently, she served as Arkansas state director for the Human Rights Campaign, helping to lead the charge for LGBTQ equality in the southern U.S. through Project One America. Johnson talks to qnotes about cooperation, intersectionality, and why fighting for civil rights isn’t optional.

Before pursuing your graduate degree and beginning a career in the nonprofit sector, you spent many years as a journalist. What led you to change course?

Nonprofits are my first love. Although I’ve taken a few detours to get back to this sector, I started volunteering at nonprofits as a kid, [and] got politicized at a nonprofit founded by Suzanne Pharr in Little Rock, Ark. You also chair the board of directors of Southerners on New Ground (SONG). How would you describe the work you do with that organization?

I serve on the board alongside many of the black and brown leaders that are broadening the scope of the LGBTQ+ rights movement to engage and center communities that are often left at the margins.

Based on your time living and working in Brazil, how would you say the experience of, and public attitudes towards, LGBTQ people there compare to experiences and attitudes in the United States?

Public attitudes towards LGBTQ+ people in Brazil and the U.S. have been largely the same because of the same political structures that delegitimize anyone that is not a wealthy white cisgender man. So while Brazil saw impressive gains with regard to LGBTQ+ visibility and protections in a relatively short period over the last two decades, those advances have been met with a shift in the national Congress to conservatism and extremism.

For much of your career you’ve focused on advancing equality in the Southern states — a cause that many would characterize as an uphill battle. Do you feel driven to take on especially challenging assignments?

We have no choice but to fight for our collective liberation. In this current scenario, I don’t feel driven to take on especially challenging assignments, that is simply the reality. We are fighting for our survival.

What should voters or potential voters be aware of as we approach the general elections taking place Nov. 6?

In North Carolina alone, there are six constitutional amendments on the ballot, all of which aim to gut voting rights and the balance of power in government. The NC General Assembly is asking that we as voters approve legislation that has not even been written.

Research your candidates, research the issues, grab your friends and family and VOTE. As far back as your Master’s degree project on HIV/AIDS prevention in Arkansas, you’ve concentrated on activism and initiatives at the state level. What makes that so important?

All politics are local. Local and state laws and ordinances determine how long you can keep trash on the curb, whether you can change your name or gender marker, whether your HIV status is a crime, the number of charter schools in your district and your interaction with the police. It is where your vote and your voice most matter.

Are you involved with the LGBTQ community or other local endeavors outside your work with ENC and SONG? I try always to be a supporter or volunteer for progressive causes. In Arkansas alongside my mother, I have worked on two annual neighborhood cleanups for the past 12 years.

I also served at the second vice-chair of the Democratic Party of Pulaski County in Arkansas prior to moving to Durham. I have also served on the board of the local NPR affiliate in Arkansas, KUAR. There must have been occasions when your hopes for a project or a campaign haven’t been realized, despite your best efforts. How do you cope with that?

I try to always learn from success or failure or partial success or partial failure. I know that not every campaign will meet my full measure of success, but that often you have unexpected or unanticipated gains or insights that make you better for the next round.

And finally, how do you spend your time when you’re not fighting the good fight for civil rights?

Like every good queer Southerner, I enjoy sitting on my porch with good friends and chosen family discussing politics, parenting and culture. I love cooking, music, reading and film. Because I am a different kind of extrovert, I need to be with friends and political family to recharge my energies for the fight. Lately, that’s been on a porch in Durham. : :

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