QNotes, July 31-Aug. 13, 2015 by QnotesCarolinas

July 31-Aug. 13 . 2015

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July 31-Aug. 13 . 2015

inside

qnotes a&e / life&style

arts. 6 entertainment. Ten items tonews. bringviews. to Pride 8 Pride fast facts 8 Pride week events 9 Gay rapper to visit Charlotte 10 Prides around the globe 10 Understanding the Alphabet Soup 12 Young and Positive, Part 5 13 Dishing with Buff Faye 18 Jane’s World 18 Tell Trinity 22 Q Events Calendar 23 Our People: We Are Visible

Grammy Award-winner Estelle visits Charlotte Pride all the way from Britain!

Learn more interesting facts about Estelle and other Charlotte Pride entertainers in our expanded special online coverage for Pride at goqnotes.com/in/pride/.

news & features

14 News Notes: Regional Briefs 20 News Notes: U.S./World Briefs

opinions & views

4 Editor’s Note 5 Spiritual Reflections 5 Guest Commentary

extended online news coverage

Supreme Court ruling lets millions flow to anti-gay private schools Private school voucher program upheld by court; many private schools have anti-LGBT policies. more: goqnotes.com/36019/

State-based LGBT groups hold annual meeting in Charlotte Equality Federation brings 200 state, national leaders from LGBT advocacy groups across nation to Queen City for annual summer meeting. more: goqnotes.com/36015/

July 31-Aug. 13 . 2015

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qnotes connect July 31-Aug. 13, 2015 Vol 30 No 07

arts. entertainment. news. views. goqnotes.com twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue

Paige Braddock, Matt Comer, Isai Efuru, Buff Faye, Norena Gutierrez, Trevion Gutierrez, Michael Lyons, Lainey Millen, Charles Oldham, Trinity, Connie Vetter

front page

Graphic Design by Matt Comer & Lainey Millen Photography: chris2766 via dollarphotoclub.com Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBT and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBT life and social justice issues. Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Editor: Matt Comer, x202 editor@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen, x205 production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper. Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2015 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

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July 31-Aug. 13 . 2015

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

What Pride means to me early marches — then known as Chistopher Street Liberation Day I still remember my first Pride. I was 18 and a freshman in college. It marches — eventually blossomed into modern-day Pride festivals and was the fall of that school year and I traveled with my LGBT student group parades, making their way to cities and towns large and small across to the NC Pride Festival and Parade in Durham. Rainbows were everythe country. The issues faced then — unequal legal treatment, harasswhere and — though I had been involved in LGBT community work since ment, violence — are still issues we face today. I was 14, attending various community events and functions — it was the Pride means progress: Those early protest marches brought communifirst time I was ever able to stand among a sea of thousands of people. All ty members together in ways they had never done before. After Stonewall, of them just like me — members of the LGBT community — or those who, a large, active, visible and politically-astute LGBT community came togethwithout reservation, supported people like us. er to make change in ways never before seen. In the more than 45 years That day was both empowering and inspiring. In the more than decade later, our community has made tremendous progress. LGBT employees are since, I’ve been to a Pride event in some place, sometimes more than one, now protected from discriminatory treatment in federal public employeach year — eventually throwing my hat into the ring as an organizer and ment. The military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy and an earlier outright volunteer with Charlotte Pride in some form since 2008. As the years have ban on homosexuality havw gone to the gone by my understanding and appreciation wayside. Bans on open military service of Pride have both grown and changed. by transgender people are on their way As we approach Charlotte Pride this out. Scores of states have adopted LGBTyear, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about inclusive employment protections, K-12 what Pride means to me. Simply, Pride anti-bullying/anti-harassment statutes means a lot of different things to me and to and more. Municipal governments are others. Here are some of my thoughts… becoming increasingly more inclusive. Pride means empowerment: Like And now, just this year, full legal marriage my experience at that first-ever Pride I equality is available to every couple, gay attended, there are thousands of LGBT or straight. But we still have a lot more to people — young and old — who attend accomplish, because… their first Pride festival or parade each year. Pride still means liberation: By all Coming together with throngs of people just means, party. Have a few drinks. Hang out like themselves, these first-time Pridewith friends. Soak in the acceptance and goers, like I did, find themselves among a like-minded community. For most all people A Pride participant holds a sign saying “Human Rights Are My affirmation. Dance away to the entertainliving outside the popular gayborhoods Pride” at the 2010 Dublin Pride celebration. ment and cheer as the parade marches of major cities, Pride might just very well Photo Credit: William Murphy, via Flickr. Licensed CC. by. But while you’re at Pride, use it as an opportunity to learn more, get involved and be the only time in a person’s year when take action. We’ve still got a long way to go before we can say LGBT people they are among the majority. Walking hand-in-hand down the street are truly equal. Housing, education, socioeconomic challenges, health care with a loved one or being able to freely express oneself without fear of and so much more, including our continued fight against HIV and the continretribution, harassment or violence can be an awesomely empowering ued harassment and violence directed against our transgender siblings. Stop experience, building self-esteem and finally putting to bed any notion that by one of the many advocacy, support or education groups. Sign up for their a person is all alone in the world. newsletters or join as a member. Donate to support continued education, Pride means celebration: Yes, Pride can be a party. There’s lots to advocacy and lobbying efforts. Ask how you can become a volunteer. Get celebrate! Personal freedom, personal self-awareness, personal selfnew resources and knowledge to make change in your school, business, expression. Lots of people, including myself, have used Pride as a day, neighborhood, church or elsewhere in your community. unlike most days in the year, where we can just relax, have a few drinks, Pride obviously can mean a lot. My mind is still racing with all the difparty with friends. And that’s all okay. We all deserve a chance to party — ferent ways Pride is so symbolic, so powerful, so important to our commuon our terms, in our community and for our community. But, Pride isn’t just nity. Like me, I hope you’ll take some time to think about what Pride means a party; it also means a lot more, like… to you as you head out to Charlotte Pride or other LGBT festivals and Pride means politics: Did you know the first Pride was a riot? Literally. parades left to come across the region this year. Being intentional, mindful A full-on, violent anti-police riot. Rocks were thrown. Fires started. and present in our continued fight for LGBT acceptance and equality puts Arrests were made. On June 27, 1969, transgender people, drag us in a league above those who seek to oppress us. Together — whether performers, poor street kids, people of color, sex workers and a slew among thousands gathered at Pride or in small groups of people comof other marginalized and oppressed LGBT people revolted against mitted to change and progress — we can continue to make a difference the continued legal and police harassment they’d experienced at the and ensure the liberationist spirit of those first Stonewall rioters and Stonewall Inn in New York City’s Greenwich Village. The next year, Christopher St. marchers lives on into the future. members of the community marched down Christopher St. to comHappy Pride, y’all! : : memorate the prior year’s riot. That march in New York City and other

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editor’s note

join the discussion We welcome your letters to the editor (200 or words or less) and guest commentaries (600 words or less). Submit them to letters@ goqnotes.com.

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views

spiritual reflections

analysis:

by Isai Efuru :: guest contributor

by Connie J. Vetter, Attorney at Law

A Matter of Faith

Now that same gender-couples can get married, they need to learn what marriage means — and what it doesn’t mean. One thing it doesn’t mean is that both moms or both dads are automatically recognized as legal parents of their child, even if they are both named on the birth certificate. In North Carolina and virtually all other states, being named on the birth certificate is only a presumption that the parent is a legal parent. If the person is not biologically related to the child or did not adopt the child then he or she is not a legal parent, except under specific surrogacy situations where a court has signed a parentage judgment. A legal parent has a right to custody of the child and the right to make all decisions about the child, including about the child’s health and medical care, education and well-being. A legal parent is financially responsible for the child. A non-legal parent does not have any of these rights. Married same-gender parents are being advised to protect their families by having the non-biological parent do an adoption or get a parentage judgment (if available). According to the National Center for Lesbian Rights: “Regardless of whether you are married or in a civil union or a comprehensive domestic partnership, NCLR always encourages non-biological and non-adoptive parents to get an adoption or parentage judgment, even if you are named on your child’s birth certificate.” NCLR also recommends parents have family protection documents such as medical authorization, guardianship agreements, wills, and advance directives. It isn’t just same-gender married couples who face this unfair situation. If a DNA test shows the husband in a different-sex married couple is not the biological father, then he has to adopt the child to become a legal parent, even if his name was already on the birth certificate. While parents should not have to adopt a child they planned for and had with their same-gender spouse, “it is legally advisable for LGBT parents to get an adoption or parentage judgment to ensure that their parental rights are protected,” according to NCLR. The law simply has not caught up with building families by intention rather than biology. Until it does, an adoption or a parentage judgment (if available) is the only way for a non-biological parent to become a legal parent. : : — Connie J. Vetter, Attorney at Law, has practiced LGBT Law for over 20 years and is a member of the Mecklenburg County Bar Association, the North Carolina State Bar, the LGBT Bar Association and the Family Law Institute, an invitation-only organization for experienced LGBT Law attorneys. Connie practices law throughout North Carolina and can be contacted at 704-333-4000 or atCJVLaw.com.

In 2004, I came to Charlotte from my hometown in New Jersey with my one-year-old daughter, my stereo and a small collection of books and shoes. God revealed to me that it was time to move on, and leaving everything I knew was the way He needed me to start. The only thing I knew for sure was that God would take care of me. I didn’t know how it would look, but had the ridiculous nerve to trust God. It’s been 11 years since I took that leap of faith. It was the most impactful step I’d made then, and God delivered the goods to me over time. I found love, peace and soul through the stretching exercises that life sent my way. God peeled off layers of doubt, low self-esteem and depression and gave me my sunshine back. I accrued a vault of wisdom through the lessons of my trials and tribulations. My daughter blossomed into an accomplished ballerina, writer and artist. God has truly smiled on me. Ephesians 3:20 states “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,” which means we have a responsibility to meet God with our faith, where trust becomes our habit and favor becomes His pleasure. The amount of faith is not as important as the step toward faith itself. Our lives are evidence of God’s favor-filled footprints. Last fall, I suffered an emotional breakdown and a stroke. I didn’t see a way out initially, but my faith challenged me to remember all of the grace God had extended to me. The difference in my healing came as I gripped my faith and expected the impossible from God. Of course, God delivered me and restored my health, and then showed a wealth of possibilities. My next level promises to simply become realities due to a matter of exercising the faith that I earned through God’s loving life lessons. Making things possible for us is never about whether God will do it. It is always about when we will realize that it’s already done. The rest of the joy ride is about giving praise for the outcome. Faith is the wheel that turns our lives from a shelf of “maybe’s” to a storehouse of expectancy. : :

adoptions necessary

July 31-Aug. 13 . 2015

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pride

Ten must-have items for Charlotte Pride Get your Pride festivities on, but don’t forget these essentials at home by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

harlotte Pride’s annual festival and parade are just around the corner. Taking up a full two days of Uptown fun, the event will feature over 150 vendors, the Sunday parade, hours of main stage entertainment and more. If you decide to venture out — and, duh, why wouldn’t you, it’s Pride for gosh sake — you’ll be among tens of thousands of revelers and community members soaking up the sun, networking with local non-profits, taking in the sights and sounds of the event’s performers and showing the Queen City exactly what it means to be a proud member of the LGBTQ community. But before you go, check out our essential list of 10 must-have items you must bring to Pride. Leave home without them and you’ll be wishing you hadn’t.

Sunscreen Sunscreen. Lots and lots of sunscreen. Preferably the water-resistant and non-greasy kind. Might as well pack the 100 SPF. August is a hot time of the year, with plenty of sun beaming down all day long. You’ll be in your finest tank top — or maybe even shirtless, who knows!? — and you’ll want to protect your silky smooth skin from all that damaging UV radiation. Same goes for your body. Be sure to drink plenty of water. If you decide to imbibe on adult beverages, mix it up every other drink with a bottle of water. If you bring your furry family friend, be sure to plan on giving them plenty of water, too. And, keep in mind: Uptown street pavement can be blisteringly hot on your dog’s feet. Rainbows! You’ll never see as many rainbows in your life as you will at a Pride event. Come decked out in your best and favorite rainbow-hued Pride wear. T-shirts, hats, bandanas, sunglasses, face paintings and more — anything and everything you can think of comes in our radiant symbol of Pride, triumph and community. Don’t be left out of the club! Comfy shoes Charlotte Pride’s festival runs nearly half the length of Tryon St. If you go to the parade on N. Tryon St. on Sunday, too, odds are you’ll be walking quite a bit. When you get to the stage, you’ll want to make sure your feet and legs aren’t too tired — because it’s dance time! Wear a pair of comfortable walking shoes to keep your feet in tip-top shape throughout the weekend. Bag With so many vendors — from the event’s national corporate sponsors to local small businesses and non-profits — you’ll get to load up on tons of free stuff! Cups, water bottles, keychains and other cool giveaways, along with all your Pride merch purchases, need a safe space to chill while you’re walking through the festival. Bring a handy bag to carry it all in. And no worries if you forget one — some vendors give away bags, too!

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July 31-Aug. 13 . 2015

Condoms and lube Yup — we’re not shying away from the obvious. Pride is fun, empowering, uplifting, inspiring. It’s also one of the only times each year you can be surrounded by tens of thousands of people just like you. Forget Grindr, Scruff, Lavendr or Tinder. Just take a look around! And whether you find that perfect Ms. Right or hot-as-all-get-out Mr. Right Now, you’ll be glad you came prepared. But if you forgot your condoms, lube or other safer sex items at home, have no fear. Plenty of vendors will likely be giving away condoms, lube and other safer sex tools, toys and tips. Stop by one of the several HIV/AIDS service organizations for resources and, while you’re there, take a quick 20-minute, free and confidential HIV test! Knowledge is power, y’all. Cash I mean, really? It’s Charlotte. ATMs on every corner. Why do you need cash? You’d know that answer if you ever stood in an ATM line at Pride. Things have gotten better over the years — with mobile ATM machines set up during the event — but it’s still a good idea to stop by an ATM on your way or the day before. Some vendors might only accept cash; plus, it’s a lot quicker than waiting on a credit card swipe. Your transit plans Uptown is big. Lots of parking decks and such. But with so many people flocking to the event, it’ll be good to know your transportation plans before you head out. Where do you think you’ll park? How much will it cost? (Prepare for special event parking prices.) What kinds of public bus or light rail routes can you take into Uptown instead? Got your local cabbie’s number programed in your phone? Uber or Lyft apps downloaded? Five minutes of planning before heading to the party will make getting to and from Uptown a breeze. Also — don’t drink and drive. Bring along a trustworthy friend who volunteers to be your designated driver if you plan on letting loose. No need to ruin your absolutely fabulous weekend with a DWI or worse.

Camera/Phone You can’t be left without a phone or a camera at Pride. Stay in touch with friends. Check in on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. But, most importantly, take lots of great photos! You’ll make lots of memories with your best buds at Pride. Capture all those smiling faces and share with the world! An open mind Pride parades and festivals are our community’s chance to come together — united, empowered and affirmed. The LGBT community is as diverse as the rest of the world. You’ll meet people from neighborhoods or even other states or countries you might not have ever visited before. You’ll see big and small, black and white, rich and poor. And our brilliantly diverse community will shine in other ways, too. You’ll see leather-clad men and women, folks letting it (nearly) all hang out in speedos and bikinis, burly bears, lipstick lesbians, women who surely ought to join Dykes on Bikes and everything else in between. Pride is a place where all can be affirmed. So bring an open mind, be prepared to give that leatherman a hug and get to know someone, learn something new about your community and make new friends! A good spirit and good people Most importantly, Pride is meant to be fun, enriching and inspiring. You can’t have any of those without a good spirit and good people. Bring your friends, your family, your co-workers. Bring good people, good energy and good vibes. Let out your feel-good spirit and show the world why you’re proud to be LGBT or a straight ally. Leave an indelible mark of positivity, affirmation and acceptance right smack dab in the heart of Charlotte. : : — Photos by See Ya Damara Photography (facebook.com/seeyadamaraphotography), via Charlotte Pride. Icons via FlatIcon.com by FreePik.com.

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If you go: Charlotte Pride Festival & Parade Quick facts to get you where you need to go, when you need to be there. Charlotte Pride Festival PNC Bank Festival Zone S. Tryon St., between Trade and Stonewall Sts. Aug. 15, Noon-10 p.m., Aug. 16, Noon-6 p.m. Bank of America Charlotte Pride Parade N. Tryon St., between 9th and Trade Sts. Judges stand located at Independence Square, Trade & Tryon Aug. 16, 1-3 p.m. Wells Fargo Stage S. Tryon St., near Stonewall St. Opening ceremony, Aug. 15, 12:30 p.m. Saturday entertainment: 1-10 p.m. / Sunday entertainment: 3-6 p.m. Charlotte Pride VIP Lounge, presented by Time Warner Cable S. Tryon St. and Fourth St. Open to pass holders during normal festival hours

Pride Week Events W ith Charlotte Pride’s annual festival and parade comes more than a week’s worth of community, nightlife and other events leading up to the main event. Check out some of these best bets and mark your calendars. For more detailed listings on these events and others, visit charlottepride.org/calendar/. Aug. 7: Charlotte Pride Youth Dance 7-10 p.m., Midwood International and Cultural Center, 1817 Central Ave. Hosted by Time Out Youth, Charlotte Pride, Charlotte Black Gay Pride and Campus Pride for LGBTQ youth ages 13-20. Entertainment by Ilean Dover, Flex Jonez, Aurora Carlisle, Evelyn Rose. Chaperoned, drug and alcohol free event. Aug. 9: Interfaith Service 4 p.m., Caldwell Memorial Presbyterian Church, 1609 E. Fifth St. Charlotte Pride’s annual Interfaith Service is growing by leaps and bounds. This year, more than two-dozen congregations and faith leaders will participate. A reception follows. Aug. 9: Charlotte Pride Pageant 7 p.m., The Scorpio, 2301 Freedom Dr. Charlotte Pride will crown

this year’s Miss and Mr. Charlotte Prides. Mr. Pageant begins at 7 p.m., followed by the Miss Pageant at 9 p.m. Aug. 10: Transgender Social and Keynote 6 p.m., Levine Museum of the New South, 200 E. Seventh St. Charlotte Pride will host a free evening social and keynote with special gusts Kristin Beck, former Navy SEAL and Congressional candidate, and openly transgender U.S. Army Sgt. Shane Ortega. Free. Aug. 11: LGBT Community Candidate Forum 6:30 p.m., Le Méridien Hotel, 555 S. McDowell St. QNotes cosponsors this forum for candidates for Charlotte mayor and at-large City Council races. Free. Aug. 11: Trivia Tuesday Pride Edition with Lana Cane 8-11 p.m., Petra’s, 1919 Commonwealth Ave. Join Lana Cane and her crazy cast for a wild night of Trivia fun as we celebrate Pride Week and Charlotte Pride where we will also give away a big door prize for two! Aug. 12: Latin@ Pride Night 6:30-9 p.m., Charlotte Pride Office, 1900 The Plaza. The first-ever Latin@ Pride Night. Come mix, mingle, drink, eat and make new friends. Free. Aug. 14: Pride Shabbat 6-8 p.m., Temple Beth El, 5101 Providence Rd. A special Pride-themed Shabbat service celebrating inclusion and diversity and a speaker discussing transgender issues. On Saturday, Aug. 15, join Temple Beth El again for a special service and Torah reading to kick off the Pride celebration at 9 a.m., Romare Bearden Park, S. Church St. Aug. 14: Bear Happy Hour 7-11 p.m., Crown Station, 1425 Elizabeth Ave. An evening mixer with beer specials, games, food and more. Aug. 14: Takeover Friday 7-11 p.m., Le Méridien Hotel, 555 S. McDowell St. One of the most anticipated pre-Pride events of the year. Now at a new location. Aug. 15: After Party with Prancing Elites 10 p.m., Nickel Bar, 2817 Rozzelles Ferry Rd. The Prancing Elites party it up at the Nickel Bar for a night of fun and entertainment. Come on out!

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July 31-Aug. 13 . 2015

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The notorious G.A.Y. rapper goes “Downtown” Charlotte Cazwell to perform with SHIPROCKED! Thursday, Aug. 13 by Michael Lyons :: special to qnotes

azwell’s latest single from his “Hard 2 B Fresh” album is “Downtown,” a ratchet trap club banger that was originally written for DJ Diplo. Cazwell begged producer Richie Beretta for the track, because its hard twerk beats, sex-fueled lyrics and killer drop were crucial for his album. “I needed this vibe,” explains Cazwell from his Manhattan home, “and I can be pretty convincing when I want to be.” Cazwell’s “Downtown” is available now. He performs it live, along with other songs from “Hard 2 B Fresh,” at Snug Harbor’s SHIPROCKED! party on Thursday, Aug. 13, two days before Charlotte Pride kicks off its annual festival and parade, Aug. 15-16. In a town long known for its Uptown, Cazwell’s “Downtown” will be a welcome treat. “To take it ‘downtown’ means you’re gonna turn up and not give two fucks about the repercussions,” continues Cazwell. “There was a time I was ‘downtown’ bougie. I was spending way more money than I could afford, and on dumb shit, not caring about what happened next. “It took me some time to realize that if you spend the last of your savings on a bottle of Goose at the club so you can impress your friends, you’re just dead wrong bougie.” Cazwell can trace his attraction for street flash to a youth spent listening to classic ’90s rap. “I remember the legendary MC Lyte singing how she was ‘funky fresh, dressed to impress, ready to party.’ That line always resonated with me.” A Massachusetts native, Cazwell has been described as what would have happened if Eminem had grown up on Madonna’s front lawn. He became a You Tube sensation after a million people viewed his “Ice Cream Truck” music video in a single week. He has since earned hipster cred (credibility) with a steady flow of danceable hip hop tracks that impressively showcase his hypomanic take on pop culture. Earlier this year, Cazwell released “Hard 2 B Fresh,” his first full-length album in four years, on the Brooklyn indie, Peace Bisquit label. The album includes 17 tracks including “Dance Like You Got Good Credit,” “Spicy,” “Don’t Get It Twisted” and his next single, “The Biscuit.” : : — Cazwell performs at SHIPROCKED! at Snug Harbor in Charlotte on Thursday, Aug. 13. For more information, visit Cazwell.com, see our list of Charlotte Pride Week events in this issue or visit charlottepride.org/calendar/. Photo Credit: Michael Wakefield

extended pride coverage at goqnotes.com! Read extended special coverage on Charlotte Pride entertainers, events, this year’s award winners, a story on last year’s growth and this year’s expectations and more! Special online coverage throughout the month.

July 31-Aug. 13 . 2015

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Pride & Prejudice:

Some global LGBT communities still face backlash by Charles Oldham :: guest contributor

frown on homosexuality.” Leaders rarely call attention to LGBT issues, and when they do, it is usually as a distraction or a political wedge. On a personal level, the country is becoming more accepting. Clubs in the larger cities are seeing more and more LGBT people socializing openly. But it is not happening on any type of organized level, and Pride celebrations are not expected anytime soon. The risk of a social backlash is always there. As Nat Amartefio, a former mayor of the capital city of Accra put it, “Gay bashing has never been a feature of the Ghanaian social landscape until, I would say, the last 10 to 15 years. And it came with the evangelical Christians.”

hen summer comes around, we are fortunate to have a wide variety of LGBT Pride events to choose from. It’s always fun, and especially so in 2015, when the past year has brought so much good news on the political front. But that is not the case everywhere. Consider these examples:

Turkey In June, there was a major disturbance when police used pepper spray, water cannons and rubber bullets to disperse a crowd that had gathered for the annual Pride march in Istanbul, Turkey’s largest city. That is a very troubling development, because it represents a step backward for a country that has been relatively tolerant on LGBT issues. Although Turkey is almost enSamoa tirely Muslim, the government has been constitutionally secular Same-sex marriage is now a constitutional right for since it was founded in 1923. Gay sex has always been legal, and all Americans, correct? Maybe not. The United States while the law does not prohibit discrimination based upon sexual A screenshot of a short video from Istanbul Pride. In it, police can be seen using a has a little-known territory located in the middle of the orientation, the country had been making genuine progress. South Pacific: American Samoa. It has a population of Istanbul’s Pride event had been celebrated each year since 2003, water cannon on a crowd. Shared on Twitter by Mikey Walsh/@thatbloodyMikey. 55,000 people who are U.S. nationals, not U.S. citizens. and this year was the first time violence arose. Therefore, not all of the constitutional rights extended So, why the turnaround? Most observers believe the down a street and beaten to death after partying at a club in to U.S. citizens apply in American Samoa. The attorney general Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan is resorting to bully Montego Bay. of American Samoa, Talauega Eleagalo Ale, is now “reviewing” tactics (and allying himself with Islamist factions) in order to keep But even so, there are signs of hope. In the first week of the Supreme Court’s Obergefell decision to determine whether his own party in power. In addition to cracking down on minoriAugust, the Jamaican Forum for Lesbians, All-Sexuals, and Gays or not it has effect. ties, he has been putting journalists in jail, which is never a good (J-FLAG) will sponsor the country’s first organized Pride event, In Samoa, LGBT issues may not seem like a pressing sign. including parties, a symposium, trade show and sporting events. concern. The population is devoutly Christian, hierarchical and They will not host a parade; organizers do not think the country is traditional. There has never been much of an LGBT constituency, Jamaica ready for that yet. and there are no Pride events. And yet, the economy is heavWe know Jamaica for its beautiful white sand beaches and ily subsidized with federal government money and more than fizzy rum drinks, and many of us have had wonderful vacations Ghana one-third of the population is employed by the government. If our there. But get outside the manicured resorts and it is a different In Ghana, like in most of West Africa, LGBT issues do not tax money goes there, it just seems like the same constitutional story. The economy has been stagnant for years. The Afrocentric take center stage. The economy is the major issue; it tends to principles should go there as well. : : culture that inspired Bob Marley’s music includes a virulent move up and down with the commodities markets (gold and strain of homophobia. Amnesty International and Human Rights petroleum, for example), and so the political leadership spends — Charles Oldham is an attorney practicing in Charlotte and Watch have consistently ranked Jamaica near the top in the most of its energy focusing on jobs. There is little political will is the Treasurer of The Charlotte Business Guild. He enjoys incidence of anti-LGBT violence. One horrific example: in 2013, to take a stand on expanding LGBT rights. In 2011, the late traveling and watching the world go by at street level. Dwayne Jones, a 16-year-old transgender female, was chased president, John Atta Mills, put it simply: “Ghanaian societies

Taking Pride in the ‘Alphabet Soup’ A 101 on the diversity of the LGBT community

irst it was homophile. Then homosexual. After that it was gay. Then it was gay and lesbian. With the additional recognition of the bisexual and transgender communities, our broader community identifier became longer and longer. Is it GLBT or LGBT? And what about all those other letters? Activists lightheartedly refer to our blossoming community acronym as the “Alphabet Soup.” But we still routinely hear people asking what all the letters mean. Here’s a quick and dirty 101 on the beautiful diversity of the Alphabet Soup. The list isn’t meant to be fully exhaustive, but does give a wide spectrum of some of the most commonly-used labels you might hear or see as you attend LGBT community activities or go to events like Pride. For ease of use, we’ve listed the terms in alphabetical order. Some definitions are built upon a list of terms and phrases compiled by Eli R. Green and Eric N. Peterson at the LGBT Resource Center, University of California Riverside. Want to learn more? There’s a whole world of knowledge awaiting. Start simple with a Google or other web search to start your journey toward greater understanding. Agender — a person who identifies with no gender. Ally — someone who is not a sexual or gender minority who confronts heterosexism, homophobia, transphobia and heterosexist privilege or other prejudices. Androgyne — a person appearing and/or identifying as neither man nor woman, presenting a gender either mixed or neutral. Bisexual — a person who is sexually or romantically attracted to people of more than one sex or gender. Cisgender — a person whose gender identity matches their assigned sex at birth. Gay — a male-identified person who is sexually or romantically attracted to other male-identified persons. Genderqueer — a gender variant person whose gender identity is neither male nor female, is between or beyond genders, or is some combination of genders; often includes a political agenda to challenge gender stereotypes and the gender binary system. Intersex — a person whose combination of chromosomes, gonads, hormones, internal sex organs, gonads, and/or genitals differs from one of the two expected patterns. Lesbian — a female-identified person who is sexually or romantically attracted to other femaleidentified persons.

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Pansexual — a person who is sexually attracted to all or many gender expressions. Same Gender Loving — a term sometimes used by members of the African-American or Black community to express a sexual orientation outside heterosexuality. Transgender — a person whose gender identity does not match their assigned sex at birth.

What is ‘queer’? Perhaps one of the most controversial labels within the LGBT community continues to be the word queer. Some see it as a reclaimed label of pride and politics, in common use since at least the 1980s. Others still see it as an insult. We’ve borrowed directly from Green’s and Peterson’s definition for the label below. Queer — 1. An umbrella term which embraces a matrix of sexual preferences, orientations, and habits of the not-exclusively- heterosexual-and-monogamous majority. Queer includes lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, transpeople, intersex persons, the radical sex communities, and many other sexually transgressive (underworld) explorers. 2. This term is sometimes used as a sexual orientation label instead of ‘bisexual’ as a way of acknowledging that there are more than two genders to be attracted to, or as a way of stating a non-heterosexual orientation without having to state who they are attracted to. 3. A reclaimed word that was formerly used solely as a slur but that has been semantically overturned by members of the maligned group, who use it as a term of defiant pride. ‘Queer’ is an example of a word undergoing this process. For decades ‘queer’ was used solely as a derogatory adjective for gays and lesbians, but in the 1980s the term began to be used by gay and lesbian activists as a term of self-identification. Eventually, it came to be used as an umbrella term that included gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgendered people. Nevertheless, a sizable percentage of people to whom this term might apply still hold ‘queer’ to be a hateful insult, and its use by heterosexuals is often considered offensive. Similarly, other reclaimed words are usually offensive to the in-group when used by outsiders, so extreme caution must be taken concerning their use when one is not a member of the group.

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life

Young and Positive: A Son’s and Mother’s Journey, Part 5 Knowing I’m Gay / When Did I Know? by Trevion and Norena Gutierrez :: special to qnotes [Ed. Note — qnotes continues with this fifth installment of this special series by mother and son, Norena Gutierrez and Trevion Gutierrez. Be sure to catch a special publication of the series in our Aug. 14 print edition, as Trevion shares his experience at his very first Pride event last year. Catch up on all past installments online at goqnotes.com/youngpoz/.] Trevion: Knowing I’m Gay I think I knew I was gay when I was about seven. I felt deeply saddened when I saw boys and girls, but I felt like I wasn’t good enough at the same time even though they were my friend. I assumed that people will not like me if I told them how different I was and that they would shy away from me. I assumed that even my own mother would shy away from me. I had seen the documentary that I was not supposed to watch about a man who disowned his son for liking boys. So one day I sat my mom down before she put me to bed and I asked her one simple question: “Will you still love me if I like boys?” The shock on her face was priceless, really, but I still didn’t understand why she looked at me that way until she told me that she would love me no matter what. I really don’t have much else to say, except for that I wish other children and other families were more accepting of each other and that love should be everywhere. It saddens me that people have to die in order for us to see that. : :

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Norena: When did I know (my son is gay)? What was a normal Saturday shopping excursion at the mall turned out to be the moment I can reflect on now as when I knew that my son was… different — that my son “was” gay — that my son is gay. I had no idea what to do with that revelation then and have spent the last decade focused on accepting him for exactly who he is, even if I don’t understand exactly how “gay” works. I am heterosexual. Ten years ago, Trevion was about seven years old and his brother Richard was five. We were exploring the sale of shoes with those racks where the size you need is not on the rack. I decided I needed another pair of black pumps to go with the other 22 pair of black pumps I already had and was trying to find that lucky size 10. I had lost track of my sons as they started to enjoy the shoes as well. Richard proudly announced he was “A Big Man with Muscles” as he steadied himself in size 14 men’s work boots. I laughed. He was so cute and I kissed him on the forehead and said, “Soon you will be a big, strong man.” I’m thinking that may have kicked off his WWF phase. On the other side of the shoe rack, I heard Trevion yelling for me: “Mom, Mom! MOM!” As he turned the corner, he had my attention as I saw him with his pants rolled up to his knees in six-inch blue rhinestone bedazzled stilettos. Of course, I laughed thinking he was being a super clown to attract attention — any attention — and especially mine. He was clearly enraptured by the shoes as I said, ‘Wow those are amazing shoes! And you are so funny…’” “Mom, look at me!” He was adamant. I responded, “Yes, Tre, I see you Mijo (my son in Spanish).” Tre responded, “I want these shoes, they are the best shoes I have ever seen, they fit me perfectly and I want you to buy these for me right now!” The other women who were previously looking for their 23rd pair of black

pumps took notice. (Note to self: don’t remember this scenario in the Adoption Book Handbook for Single Mothers.) I went over to Trevion and scrunched down to his eye level and said, “Mijo, these are beautiful shoes but they are for girls to wear and we are just looking today, we are not going to buy anything. Are you ready to go?” Exasperated, but respectful, he sighed an angry sigh, and declared, “Girls have all the good stuff, boys have nothing.” Later that night, after a bedtime story and during our evening rocking session, Trevion sheepishly said, “Can I ask you something?” “Of course, anything you want to know, I will tell you the truth,” I told him. I could tell my very articulate seven year old was struggling to get his words out, which was completely unorthodox for him. We kept rocking. “Mom, I like boys,” he said. My very heterosexual mind, and societal norming presence, responded automatically, “Of course you do Trevion, just like you like girls… and you are always making friends, I love that about you.” Nope that wasn’t what he was talking about. “No… Mom, will you still love me if I like boys?” I paused, this was a different emphasis on boys… like boys. I decided the “tell me more” parenting trick was in order and said, “Tell me more, mijo.” And then it came out in a big waterfall of pentup thinking, agony and exasperation: “I like… like… LIKE boys, like I want to kiss them, like that momma!” I was quiet. I didn’t know what to say and I couldn’t think of anything to say. Trevion saw my quietness. “Mom, will you still love me if I like boys?” he asked again. There was a desperate look in his face like this is the bravest I can be and I am asking you because I really need to know: “Will you still love me if I am gay?” We rocked a bit more. And then I said with every single ounce of love in me: “All you ever need to know is that there will always be two plates at the dinner table when you come home for Thanksgiving or Christmas or anytime you want to come home. I will love who you love no matter what your choice is. Who you love is up to you and I promise you, I will always love you no matter what. No matter if you like boys.” There was that beautiful smile of my Trevion. I saw relief. I saw a child who could go to sleep tonight without one more night of worrying about what he was feeling. He fell asleep in my arms. And then I heard a question from across the room, from my Richard who had not fallen asleep yet. “Mom?” “Yes?” “Mom, when we go to college, do you come with us?” : : — Norena Gutierrez is the adoptive mother of Trevion and his brother. Trevion is a student at Central Piedmont Community College. They can be reached at momandtrevion@yahoo.com.

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dishing with buff faye by Buff Faye :: qnotes contributor :: info@bufffaye.com

Bella, the Queen of South End Just like the “Wizard of Oz,” the Queen City of Charlotte is bound to have at least a few witches (oops, I mean queens) reigning over the various neighborhoods. Hmmmm… the Queen of Morehead has a nice ring to it. Don’t you think? My column this month features Bella Nichole Dior Jade, the Queen of SouthEnd. I have known Bella since she competed in the Miss Charlotte Newcomer pageant at The Scorpio and won the title. As she pointed out to me, Bella comes from the Italian word for “beautiful.” So, of course, she is pretty — but somewhere under that make-up (somewhere), there is more to the eye than just another pretty queen. So, let’s dig deeper. Bella and I met for the interview at Dish, one of our favorite gay neighborhood diners. Her partner Jason joined us. For those who don’t know, Bella’s boy name is Tyler Medinger. He grew up in a town called Mocksville, N.C. From how she describes her hometown, the place I imagine is a lot like the Kansas farm town where Dorothy grew up, except with football players. “In Mocksville, there are two religions — Baptist and Football, so being gay was not easy,” she adds. Bella came out as gay at the age of 16 to her family. “My Mom to this day thinks she did something wrong, something she ate I guess — Rainbow Skittles, watched too much Rainbow Brite. It took five years, but my Mom has accepted I am gay, but not that I have a partner. It’s a process for family. My Dad loves both of us and loves my partner Jason. It takes more time with some family, there is nothing you can do but just give them time.” As a result of coming out at a young age, she has always shown a deep commitment to LGBTQ youth. She has volunteered her time to perform for the Youth Pride Dance, as well as helping do make-up and perform in drag with various Campus Pride events. When asked, what inspires her with drag, Bella responds: “The community, I love being part of the community. I love helping others, especially youth and trans people. I think drag is a way for me to do just that.” One thing Bella and I immediately bond over is her love for the “Wizard of Oz” and Judy Garland (aka Dorothy). “When I was little, my Nana had a VHS tape of ‘Wizard of Oz.’ I would watch it over and over. I loved that movie. Judy Garland is such an icon and I just love it,” she continues, “Oh, that and Mary Poppins. I used to jump off cars and rooftops with an umbrella when I was a kid.” LOL. Well that explains a lot. We both laugh. Too funny.

Bella made Charlotte her home in 2010 and moved to the city for her partner Jason. As part of the drag scene, Bella remembers getting her start locally at Petra’s Piano Bar on stage with “Petra’s Got Talent” where she got second place. I jokingly corrected her: “You mean first alternate?” Both her and I have been first alternate almost as many times as Angela Lopez. Almost. Ha! Bella does hold a few pageant titles including the current Miss All Hallow’s Eve — and as she says “until they do another Pride pageant, the forever reigning Miss Woodshed Pride.” Bella performs regularly at The Hideaway, Chemistry Nightclub and then locally in Charlotte at Cathode Azure Club where she is the show director and house cast member. As a show director, she shares: “I try to book seasoned queens and new queens. I want to give everyone a chance. I like people to be different and bring new things to the stage. That is what I look for.” As we wrapped up our lunch date, I asked Bella her perspective on the unsettling Bar Wars and about the growing Charlotte drag community. She shares: “Charlotte drag queens have a huge sisterhood. Every Monday we all meet at the ‘Glitter Bell’ — that’s what we call Angela Lopez’s house. We are all friends. It doesn’t matter who is more pretty — or what bar you work at. We are sisters first,” she said. “Nina Fierra once told me, and I think it is important to share: ‘Drag queens are not owned by the bars. We are owned by the community. All of us need our community supporting us.” Bella is a young queen compared to many in the Queen City. Present company excluded, of course. But don’t underestimate her because of her age. Underneath those layers of foundation and eyeliner, Bella cares deeply about the LGBTQ community and she continues to be a force for change in the Charlotte drag scene. “Its not a career, but I love it. I don’t want to be 60 years-old and putting on lipstick — but I enjoy drag, entertainment and being part of this community.” DRAG TIP: “Blend, blend…oh, and don’t be afraid of color.” — Buff Faye calls the Queen City her home and performs to shake her boobs (and to raise money for charities). Find her at your favorite bars and hot spots. Plus don’t forget her weekly Saturday night show with Patti O’Furniture, monthly Sunday drag brunch and regular Friday night party bus. Learn more at AllBuff.com. Follow on Twitter @BuffFaye

SHOUT OUTS:

Lola Lovelace is selling Amway. Be sure to private message her on Facebook if you are interested! Plus there’s a new hot spot in town — Hattie’s Tap & Tavern in NoDa and Plaza Midwood. Can’t wait to check it out!

July 31-Aug. 13 . 2015

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news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen & Matt Comer

Grant aids healthcare rights WINSTON-SALEM — A grant bestowed by the North Carolina Society of Health Care Attorneys will help to fund outreach to the LGBT community with regard to healthcare rights, the Camel City Dispatch reported. Professor Kate Mewhinney, managing attorney of the Wake Forest Elder Law Clinic, explained, “In recent years, the LGBT community has gained greater rights and visibility. The U.S. Supreme Court recently upheld same-sex marriage. Less attention has been paid to the many legal issues related to health care. This project will teach providers and the public about health care rights of LGBT people, particularly those who are aging.” She added, “The status of the LGBT community has been steadily improving, but they are still a marginalized and vulnerable population. When they encounter the health care world, their needs and rights are likely to be overlooked. It is sad that 40 percent of LGBT older people, ages 60-75, say their healthcare providers don’t know their sexual orientation, according to a 2014 Harris poll.” Mewhinney holds certification as an Elder Law Specialist by the N.C. State Bar and the National Elder Law Foundation. The Dispatch shared that the grant will help provide the resources for the clinic to partner with other community groups. Those are: present educational events for healthcare providers on ethical and legal issues related to care of the LGBT patient; assist people with advance directives at venues such as Pride Winston-Salem and other community events that focus on the LGBT community; and prepare community education materials on the older LGBT person, with a focus on health-care issues. Sponsorship by the North Carolina Society of Health Care Attorneys will enable the clinic to be able to hold this upcoming event to benefit the LGBT community. On Aug. 4, 2 p.m., at Senior Services, 2895 Shorefair Dr., a free cultural competency training program, “A Caring Response for LGBT Clients,” will take place. The documentary “Gen Silent” will be used as a tool in the training. Light refreshments will be served. The event is cosponsored with the PTRC Area Agency on Aging Long-Term Ombudsman Program and is suitable for staff and volunteers of long-term care facilities, community-based aging service providers and concerned family and loved ones. info: camelcitydispatch.com. elder-clinic.law.wfu.edu. — L.M.

Charlotte TOY gala slated

CHARLOTTE — The Gala for Equality will be held on Aug. 6, 6:30 p.m., at the University of North Carolina-Charlotte, McKnight Hall, 9201 University City Blvd. The ’20s-themed event is a fundraiser for Time Out Youth Center. Guerilla Poets and The Film Club of UNC-Charlotte serve as the organizers. All proceeds will go to benefit the organization. Participants are encouraged to dress up. During the evening, attendees will be able to enjoy a six-minute documentary film screening, poetry reading, music, drag show and coming out party. Tickets are $10/advance, $12/at the door or through a contribution. info: facebook.com/events/992663007444788/. — L.M.

Mass set for Pride week

CHARLOTTE — The Diocesan Ministry for Gay & Lesbian Catholics will hold its Mass of Celebration for the LGBT Community on Aug.12, 7 p.m., at St. Peter Catholic Church, 507 S. Tryon St. Frank Cancro, from Queen of the Apostles Parish in Belmont, N.C., will celebrate the mass. A reception follows in the Biss Hall, downstairs from the sanctuary.

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The celebration is free and open to the public. It is being held this year to coincide with Charlotte Pride week. This ministry was started by the late Fr. Gene McCreesh, the late Fr. Richard Allen and Retired Bishop Emeritus William Curlin to address the needs of its LGBT members throughout the diocese. The mass was established in 1996 as part of the Diocese of Charlotte’s spiritual outreach to the gay and lesbian community. Parking is free at The Green parking deck with presentation of a “chaser ticket” available in the church vestibule. Attendees should pick one up before leaving the sanctuary area. Otherwise, there will be a charge for parking. info: dmfglc@gmail.com — L.M.

Coastal Lesbian officer found dead

CAROLINA BEACH — U.S. Army Chief Warrant Officer Tania Nicole Dunbar was found dead at a campsite on the north end, the Port City Daily reported. Recently re-deployed from Kuwait, she was camping alone on the beach where the incident occurred. She apparently hit her head on a truck door handle and fell, town manager Michael Cramer shared. At press time, an autopsy report was not available.

She had been a founding member of SPARTA-An LGBT Military Organization. She is survived by a wife, Dee Graham-Dunbar, and two children. GrahamDunbar is a cofounder of the Military Partners and Families Coalition, an LGBT military group. info: portcitydaily.com. advocate.com. — L.M. Tania Nicole Dunbar Photo Credit: U.S. Army, Ft. Bragg, N.C.

news

Triangle Fest deemed huge success

RALEIGH — On July 25, more than 300 people joined the Crape Myrtle Festival for its Studio 35 annual gala at the Lincoln Theater, 126 E. Cabarrus St. The theme was a play on Studio 54 to celebrate the organization’s 35th year. The evening’s entertainment included drag performances by Chloe Cassidy, Kristianna Elite and Sasha Everheart. Food was provided by Donovan’s Dish. The festival supports organizations that help

see Carolinas News Notes on 21

Panel gives couples 411

CHARLOTTE — A legal and tax preparation presentation, “What Marriage Means for LGBT Couples,” will be held on Aug. 26, 6:30 p.m., The VanLandingham Estate, 2010 The Plaza in Charlotte. Attorneys Connie J. Vetter, Janice V. Coulter, and Lynn Bishop and CPA Walter Kearns will bring their expertise on the topics of marriage and taxes as they offer information and insights to LGBT couples who are married or are considering marrying, as well as individuals interested in learning about marriage. “Since marriage is relatively new for same-gender couples I’m getting a lot of questions about what it really means to be married. People have questions about changing their names, becoming legal parents to their children, divorce and alimony, social security, taxes and a whole range of other questions that are new to us,” said Vetter, a longtime LGBT attorney. “Even for people who are familiar with different-sex marriage there are some differences, particularly around parenting.” The free program will cover topics including parenting issues, premarital agreements, tax issues, social security, wills and medical directives, divorce, alimony and property division. No registration is needed. The program is sponsored by Vetter and Charlotte Family Resource with support of The VanLandingham Estate Inn & Conference Center. info: cjvlaw.com. 704-333-4000. — L.M. and release

PFLAG celebrates milestone

CONCORD — Concord/Kannapolis PFLAG will celebrate their first anniversary at its monthly meeting on Aug. 11, 6 p.m., at Central United Methodist Church, 30 N. Union St. Attendees will be able to view the second part of the “After Stonewall” documentary. The first part was shown during the group’s July meeting as it celebrated the Supreme Court decision on same-sex marriage equality. Everyone was able to enjoy the camaraderie while nibbling on a piece of a rainbow cake and cookies. The organization will hold its annual business meeting in September where it will elect officers and board of directors members for the upcoming year. Officers serve for two years and beginning in the upcoming year, board members will follow the same protocol. Only paid members are able to vote and be elected to office. info: ckpflag@gmail.com. — L.M.

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tell trinity by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

Eventually you must decide what arouses you Hello Trinity, I’ve always been heterosexual. But lately, while in bed with my girlfriend, I keep fantasizing about her brother. I feel confused. Should I break it off? Sexually Guilty, Montgomery, AL Hello Guilty, Being attracted to someone outside of your sexuality is normal. It doesn’t change your sexuality, it just expands it. You may be bi, gay and/or simply not attracted to your girlfriend. Everyone, in my opinion, is born bisexual and experiences different sexual feelings at different times in one’s life.

However, eventually you have to explore and decide what gender does arouse you and what path you need to take to be true to yourself. So, pumpkin, first do some soul searching, and if it is guys that arouse you, please end this current relationship, yet don’t start dating her brother. That is just too “Hollywood Drama” for me! Dearest Trinity, My husband/partner of four years has disclosed to me that he has been unfaithful. He says, “Fidelity takes time!” Well doesn’t that just want to make you barf! What should I do? Fidelity Troubles, Palm Springs, CA

Dearest Troubles, Did your man miss the wedding vow, “Thou shall not act like an animal?” You can leave him, work on it or live with his infidelity like most of us do! But no matter what, sweetie, keep an open mind! You know, I’m sure there’s a meeting for this somewhere! (Did we admit we were powerless over “fidelity” at the “meeting”? Check out my cartoon to see how it plays out.) Hey Trinity, Why can’t gay men deal with a second date? Scary Seconds, Philadelphia, PA Hey Seconds, Most men between 18 and 65 have the sexual attention span of a 12-year-old and, honey, gay men are no different, which doesn’t leave much room for a second date, never mind a second night away from playing with their favorite toy, themselves! Keep trying. Dear Trinity, After dating someone for a while, I still haven’t slept over at his house. I’m so used to sleeping alone, I don’t want to appear neurotic. Help! Stay Over Stumped, Louisville, KY Dear Slumped, I know what you’re talking about. It’s late, he’s snoring, the traffic’s roaring outside, the cat’s scratching your feet and you don’t want to complain. Been there, done that! So, darling, see if these help! Trinity’s Polite Tips For Avoiding Complications When Sleeping Over A Date’s House 1. If snoring bothers you, then travel with earplugs. Also, have your date sleep on his or her side facing away from you. 2. f you sleep with special feathered pillows and/or a sound effects machine, bring these “specialty” items with you. 3. If you must get up and be on the road by dawn, but you know you both won’t get to sleep till after midnight, shut up about it and enjoy the night or sleep over at another time.

4. If you have dietary needs, bring your favorite foods (for two)! Never assume your date has assorted coffees, juices or a morning milk delivery. 5. If you’re allergic to dogs, cats, gerbils or pythons, let your date know before you end up a sneezy, itchy, runny nosed nightmare! 6. If you’re expecting your date to have contraceptives, then also expect to visit the VD or gynecologist clinic in a few days. Come prepared! 7. I f you’re stomach is turning, your head is pounding or your poison ivy is resurfacing, try sleeping over on another night. 8. If you feel the meaningless need to put down, judge or make tacky comments about someone’s living space, stay home! 9. I f you’re stuck on certain hair care products, bathing supplies, sleeping on a certain side of the bed or not being tied, I mean touched below the neck, good luck! 10. Lastly, if you assume nothing, ask for what you need, bring what you think will not be available and just this once go with the flow, you may get a sex-sational surprise! info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

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news notes: u.s./world. Federal agency says anti-gay employment bias barred

Equal Employment Opportunity Commissioner Chai Feldblum, the agency’s only openly gay or lesbian commissioner, voted in favor of the historic employment ruling. Photo Credit: Lance Cheung, U.S. Department of Agriculture.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The federal government’s Equal Employment Opportunity Commission issued a landmark ruling on July 15 saying that discriminating against employees for being gay, lesbian or bisexual constitutes gender discrimination. The agency is charged with enforcement of federal employment non-discrimination protections. It had previously ruled that bans on gender bias included claims of unequal treatment by transgender employees. The 17-page decision — which named U.S. Transportation Secretary Anthony Foxx, a former Charlotte mayor, in his role as administrator of the Federal Aviation Administration — said discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation violates provisions in Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. “When an employee raises a claim of sexual orientation discrimination as sex discrimination under Title VII, the question is not whether sexual orientation is explicitly listed in Title VII as a prohibited basis for employment actions,” the decision states. “It is not. Rather, the question for purposes of Title VII coverage of a sexual orientation claim is the same as any other Title VII case involving allegation of sex discrimination — whether the agency has ‘relied on sex-based considerations’ or ‘take[n] gender into account’ when taking the challenged employment action.”

The ruling was passed 3-2, with openly lesbian member of the commission, Chai Feldblum, joining Chair Jenny Yang and Commissioner Charlotte Burrows. Commissioners Victoria Lipnic and Constance Barker voted against the ruling. National advocates were quick to praise the ruling, but also stressed the importance of a comprehensive federal law on anti-LGBT discrimination. “Discrimination has no place in America, plain and simple,” Human Rights Campaign President Chad Griffin said in a statement. “This historic ruling by the EEOC makes clear they agree workplace discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, much like gender identity, is illegal. While an important step, it also highlights the need for a comprehensive federal law permanently and clearly banning LGBT discrimination beyond employment to all areas of American life. Such a law would send a clear and permanent signal that discrimination against LGBT people will not be tolerated under any circumstances in this country, and we remain fully committed to making that happen.” more: Read more about the ruling and the employment case leading to its decision via the Washington Blade at /bit.ly/1SBOfYY. — Matt Comer

QUICK HITS —————————————————————————————— The United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights has expressed concern over LGBT rights in Turkey. On July 14, police coordinated a violent crackdown on an LGBT Pride march in Istanbul. more: /bit.ly/1OxoWqL

The European Court of Human Rights ruled July 21 that Italy is violating the human rights of their same-gender couple residents and citizens by denying them marriage recognition. more: bit.ly/1MIgMKN

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Carolinas News Notes continued from page 15 Cathose living with HIV and AIDS in the Triangle and across North Carolina. This year’s gala helped the organization get one step closer to it’s goal of giving $100,000 away. During the evening a silent auction was held as well. A final total raised by this year’s volunteers will be announced in the fall. info: crapemyrtlefest.org. — L.M.

Western WNC man hits the trail

ASHEVILLE — Kenny Hancock is undertaking the challenge of walking and hiking 300 miles along the full length of The Long Trail in Vermont from July 19-Aug. 22 to raise money for The Trevor Project and is seeking sponsors. During his sojourn, he will traverse terrain from the northern and southern boarders of the state. He is partnering with the Hike For organization which will help him track his pledges. Visit the website to learn more. He has been undergoing extensive training to prepare him for the arduous task. If he completes his goal, he will be added to the 3,100 hikers who have gained end-to-end certification. Hancock is a strong supporter of The Trevor Project and hopes that his contribution will help make a difference for LGBT youth. info: hikefor.com/The_Long_Trail/LT/2015. — L.M. and release

info: sistercarewnc.weebly.com.

— L.M.

Regional Diversity meetings upcoming

CHAPEL HILL/CHARLOTTE — The National Diversity Council Carolinas will hold diversity best practices meetings in August. The purpose of this event is to highlight the importance of diversity best practices in the workplace, organizers said. Company representatives will share their insights about diversity and inclusion practices, and discuss the programs they have implemented in their own organizations. On Aug. 20, 9:30-11:30 a.m., at Rho, Inc., 6330 Quadrangle Dr. in Chapel Hill, listen to David Laboy, director of diversity and work life at Blue Cross Blue Shield, and Dr. Taffye Benson Clayton, associate vice chancellor and chief diversity officer at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill share their insights. On Aug. 21, 9:30-11:30 a.m., at The Urban League of Central Carolinas, Inc., 740 W. 5th St. in Charlotte, hear what Lauren Hood, diversity and inclusion executive with Bank of America, and Kalandra Loftin, regional human resources business partner with Zenith National Insurance lend their thoughts on subject. Registration for either meeting is $25 and is available online. info: ndccarolinas.org. kiara.fortson@nationaldiversitycouncil.org. — L.M.

Auction on horizon

HENDERSONVILLE — SisterCare WNC is holding an auction fundraiser on Aug. 16, 11 a.m.-4 p.m. at Lake Julian. Allen Brasington will handle the calling as items from the community are put up for bid. And, during the event, the drumming troupe Wild Bodema will perform. Board members are currently taking contributions. Local businesses, artists, musicians, healthcare practitioners, pet professionals, beauty treatment providers, sporting and entertainment venues and more are encouraged to contact organizers. Also, new items sought are artwork, pottery, blown glass, jewelry, gift baskets and other similar items. Cut off date for solicitations is Aug. 10. Email sistercarewnc@gmail.com to learn more or to find out how to contribute.

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EVENTS August 2015 Charlotte Pride Splash Day Carowinds 14523 Carowinds Blvd., Charlotte Charlotte Pride extends an invitation to a day of fun in the sun at Carowinds and Boomerang Bay. Use special promo code CHARLOTTEPRIDE to get discount tickets at $36. Ticket includes free parking. Park hours are 10 a.m.-10 p.m. Boomerang Bay hours are 11 a.m.-6 p.m. More information is available online. charlottepride.org/splashday/.

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Stonewall Bowling AMF Bowling 5900 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 7-9 p.m.

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Gala for Equality SEP AUG MO McKnight Hall, UNCCharlotte 9201 University City Blvd., Charlotte 6:30 p.m. The University of North CarolinaCharlotte’s Guerilla Poets and The Film Society of UNCC present a fundraiser for Time Out Youth. Event will feature poetry performers, bands, a drag show and a six-minute screening of a documentary. Theme for the evening is the Roaring 20s. $12/door. $10/advance. Tickets on sale online soon. More information is available online. facebook.com/events/992663007444788/.

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You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a three-for-one entry. All Charlottearea events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes.com), the LGBT Center (lgbtcharlotte.org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com).

Continues through Aug. 16 SEP AUG MO Charlotte Pride Week Various locations, Charlotte More than a week of LGBT community, nightlife and other events all leading up to the annual Charlotte Pride Festival and Parade. For more information see our Charlotte Pride Preview features in this issue or visit Charlotte Pride’s website. charlottepride.org/calendar/.

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Stonewall Sports Charlotte hosts a night of free bowling to introduce its newest league sport. facebook.com/stonewallkickballcharlotte.

Submit your event to our calendar!

Interfaith Service Caldwell Memorial Presbyterian Church 1609 E. Fifth St., Charlotte 4-6 p.m.

Charlotte Pride hosts its annual Interfaith Service. Where all are welcome: An interfaith experience celebrating the dignity, value and worth of all people. With clergy from a diversity of faith traditions. Refreshments following the service. Free. charlottepride.org

UNCG Open House SEP AUG MO Elliot University Center, UNC-Greensboro 1400 Spring Garden St., Greensboro 5 p.m. The University of North CarolinaGreensboro’s Queer Student Union hosts an open house and reception for the new academic year. In partnership with and hosted in the Elliot University Center’s Office of Intercultural Engagement.

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Continues through Aug. 16 Charlotte Pride Festival and Parade Tryon St., Uptown Charlotte The Charlotte Pride Festival and Parade return to Uptown for two days of community engagement, over 100 vendors, a Sunday parade and two days of entertainment. Headliners this year include Estelle and Billy Gilman, along with a host of other national, regional and local acts. See our Charlotte Pride Preview features in this issue or visit Charlotte Pride’s website for more information. charlottepride.org.

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‘What Marriage Means for LGBT Couples’ VanLandingham Estate 2010 The Plaza, Charlotte 6:30 p.m.

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Walk a Mile in Her Shoes NoDa Brewing Company 2229 N. Davidson St., Charlotte 9 a.m. Hearts Beat as One Foundation teams up with Safe Alliance and Beards BeCAUSE to present a day of fundraising and awareness. This is the third annual event. Men and women walk in high heels to support the cause. After-party. Sign up is available online. safeallianceevents.org.

A free tax and legal presentation for LGBT couples by attorneys Connie Vetter, Janice Coulter and Lynn Bishop and CPA Walter Kerns. No registration needed. CJVLaw.com. 704-333-4000. Shelby Pride SEP AUG MO The Episcopal Church of the Redeemer 502 W. Sumter St., Shelby 6 p.m. Shelby’s LGBT and ally community comes together for a second annual Shelby Pride picnic. Stay tuned for more information and learn more at facebook. com/events/1610714215855598/.

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LGBT Candidate Forum SEP AUG MO Le Méridien Hotel, 555 S. McDowell St., Charlotte, 6:30 p.m. Save the date and stay tuned for more information, including on how to RSVP to reserve your seat at this free event. Charlotte LGBT community organizations come together to present a forum with candidates for Charlotte City Council at-large and mayor. This is an opportunity for LGBT and straight ally voters to hear from candidates on their positions regarding LGBT equality. With recent debates and dialogue on LGBT non-discrimination protections in the City of Charlotte, it’s more important than ever that LGBT voters have an opportunity to hear from those who would like to represent them in local office. The event will feature a moderated forum and a time to mix and mingle with candidates. Co-sponsored by the Charlotte Business Guild, LGBT Democrats of Mecklenburg County, Log Cabin Republicans, MeckPAC and qnotes.

To see more upcoming events, visit goqnotes.com/calendar/

Stonewall Takeover SEP AUG MO Wet-’n-Wild 3910 S. Holden Rd., Greensboro Stonewall Sports leagues from across the state join together for a takeover at the Wet-’n-Wild water park. Tickets are $36.99 at the park or pay in advance at a discounted rate of $28 online. mkt.com/stonewall-takeover. ––––––––––––––––––––

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OUR PEOPLE:

We are Visible: Body-Positive Get to know these transgender community members by Matt Comer:: matt@goqnotes.com

n this issue’s “Our People,” we’re switching out our usual Q&A format to highlight a new project coordinated by local transgender leader Mac McLaughlin. The project, “We Are Visible,” highlights transgender community members through art and word. McLaughlin teamed up with photographer Jef Madden to capture artistic expressions of several community members who also wrote briefly about themselves, their pride, their views on body positivity and more. A little more about the project from Mac: “The purpose of this project is to promote visibility, pride and body positivity within the Trans* community. With the dedication of photographer Jef Madden (owner of Peephole Images) we have been able to allow our models to express their pride through the use of paints representing the colors of the Trans* flag however they feel comfortable. We hope this is the beginning of a series of photos demonstrating the diversity of the Trans* community in all aspects. The project will have its debut during Charlotte Pride week at the city’s first Trans* exclusive event.” Devonte

Mac

Liam

Kassy

Mac McLaughlin My name is Mac and I am 4 years into my transition. I am a trans* male performer, the owner of the T-PACK (trans* male social club in Charlotte) and the originator of this project. My goal with this was to show the diversity and beauty within my community. That we are here and we are proud of who we are. Proud of the struggle and the journey to become our true selves. Special thanks to Jef Madden and Peephole Images without whom this vision would not have been possible. Devonte Jackson My name is Devonte. I am a trans man. I have been on Testosterone for one year and I am pre op. The photos brought out a whole new perspective in me and helped me to see a side of myself that I would have kept hidden. It helped me to appreciate my body and it’s changes. It was the best experience and I am thankful for the opportunity from Jef and Mac. Liam Johns My name is Liam and I am 26 years old. I’ve been out as Trans since I was 18 and been in transition for 7 years. Being born and raised in Charlotte has been amazing and I am happy to call it my home. Living life as a trans guy here has not always been easy but overall a good experience. I was really excited about this photo project because I thought it would let me express myself in a new and positive way. I am open and out about being transgender 95% of my daily life. This photo makes me 100% out though. I am happy to say I am finally comfortable and confident to show my body in this way. A way that shows the LGBTQ community that all transgender people are beautiful and unique. I hope these photos bring awareness and acceptance to our community. Kassy Hylton I am a vibrant 27-year-old Latina woman with goals and aspirations who happens to be transgender. Born in California and raised in Charlotte, I always felt misunderstood by my peers in my youth. I have always known I was different. My deep desire to embark on the journey of transitioning was not taken lightly. Even with all of the unknowns, my heart would only be happy once my physical appearance matched my inner being. With the support of my loving family I was finally able to be my true self. I am blessed and thankful to have them in my life. I am proud to be a part of this project as it has granted me the opportunity to show my community and society that regardless of gender we are all still human. : :

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