QNotes, August 23, 2019

Aug. 23-Sept. 8, 2019

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qnotes

Aug. 23-Sept. 8, 2019

inside this issue

Aug. 23-Sept. 8, 2019 Vol 34 No 09

connect twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue

Carlyle Addy, Rev. W. Benjamin Boswell, Aila Alvina Boyd , Buff Faye, Camilla K. Cannon, Vic Germani, Lainey Millen, Stanley Popovich, Trinity, Jessica Yañez, Jim Yarbrough and Former Governors James G. Martin, James B. Hunt, Jr., Michael F. Easley and Beverly E. Perdue

front page

Graphic Design by Lainey Millen Photography: Carlyle Addy Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBTQ and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBTQ life and social justice issues.

Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Managing Editor: Jim Yarbrough, x201, editor@goqnotes.com Assoc. Editor: Lainey Millen, specialassignments@goqnotes.com Copy Editor: Maria Dominguez Production: Lainey Millen, x205, production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.

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Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff.

The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

feature 9

Getting someone to cease from their bullying tactics can often be a real challenge. However, there are some ways to help curb bullies when they are on the attack.

news 6 Second Black Trans Woman Murdered 6 Trans Hormone Therapy Alters Medical Tests 6 News Briefs 7 Herndon Releases Cover of Underwood’s ‘So Small’ 7 HRC Releases 2019 Healthcare Index

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a&e 17 Dishing with Buff Faye 18 10 Questions with Vic: Wils 20 Out in Print 21 Tell Trinity

life

Fall Festivals Dot the Carolinas Landscape

Looking for something to do in the next couple of months?

Then check out the list of fun and unusual festivals and day events that are sure to warm you up as things cool down.

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13 Fall Festivals Dot the Carolinas Landscape 16 Mental Health:

Stop the Bully Tips

views 4 Fat … Fab or Not? 5 Voting Landscape 5 Mayor Pete 11 Legal Eagles: Immigration Law and the LGBTQ Community 23 Spiritual Reflections: Finding Hope Amidst the Immigration Crisis

events charlotteobserver.com/1166/ a local news partner of The Charlotte Observer

Six Tips on How to Deal with a Bully in Your Life

Immigrants in the QC

22 South Carolina Black Pride 22 Kacey Musgraves 22 Lizzo

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qnotes

Aug. 23-Sept. 8, 2019

Fat … fab or not?

From the Publisher/Managing Editor

F

BY Jim Yarbrough | QNotes Staff

irst and foremost, I need to say that qnotes appreciates all of our columnists. We have a lot of great people that contribute to this newspaper. With that said, we don’t always agree with their views or the subject of their column. It even states that in our masthead on page three of each issue.

I also need to say that I am not perfect. Certainly not the best editor this paper has ever had. I am a better publisher than editor.

However, I own the responsibility of the job.

Before going to press with our Aug. 9, 2019 issue, I was taken back by the start of the Health & Wellness column, “Fat Is Not Fab.” When I read it and looked at the percent of body fat statistics and how most of the piece was written with a health and wellness intention, as well as knowing the author’s heart and not being a person that is of considerable size myself, I overlooked some things I should not have. I am sorry and regret that. I have had a conversation about this with the author. We have edited the column on our website to better reflect the intentions of the author.

In this issue of qnotes you will see that the column, Dishing with Buff Faye, “I Am Fat and Fab,” takes issue with the aforementioned Health & Wellness column of

for change and to educate others. And we welcome that from our regular writers and letters to the editor.

What we will not accept is taking things to a personal level.

Attacking individuals, name calling, hate speech, the use of bad language, are all against our policy and will not be allowed in print or on the comments section of our website. Because of that policy the Dishing with Buff Faye column in this issue was edited just a little bit. Also, a number of posts to our website did not get approved because of these reasons. We have a set of guidelines — Jim Yarbrough on our website for our readers to use when making comments on our content. These are just good, sound rules of play for everyone to last issue. Buff Faye and others felt hurt follow so that things don’t rise to outright and shamed by some of the language confrontations or harassing demeanor used in the column. She pulls quotes from when sharing your views. the column and then addresses them with My hope is that we all understand that her campy tone. I get the concerns and no one had ill intentions and that we all understand why she has addressed them have learned that words do hurt. in her column.

Oh, and we can all be fabulous or This is what the press is for. mean and hateful at times. Let’s concenNewspapers have long been a place for trate on the times we are fabulous. : : people to share their concerns and opinions, to express their thoughts, to push

❝ Newspapers have long been a place for people to share their concerns and opinions, to express their thoughts, to push for change and to educate others. ❞

Hyper-partisan Gerrymandering and Separation of Powers Can’t Coexist Op-Ed: The Voting Landscape

BY Former Governors James G. Martin, James B. Hunt, Jr., Michael F. Easley and Beverly E. Perdue | Guest Contributors

A

fter 36 consecutive years of governing the great State of North Carolina, we have gained a perspective that few will ever experience. Although our policies and political viewpoints often differ, today we stand united on a matter that has critical importance to the constitutional democracy of our state. On Aug. 14, we joined together in filing an amici curiae brief in Wake County Superior Court in support of the plaintiffs in Common Cause v. Lewis. Our brief urges the state courts to end North Carolina’s partisan gerrymandering.

We know first-hand that state government works best when it works together. We also understand the importance of representing the entire state as its chief executive. When the executive and legislative branches communicate and cooperate, they can develop creative solutions for the tough problems that our State faces, and they can reach common ground solutions on the issues that might otherwise divide us.

Throughout our terms, we all experienced highs and lows in the functioning of state government. The highs came when members of different political parties worked together to move our State forward, and when all three branches respected the separation of powers at the core of our constitutional system. The lows came when progress took a back seat to partisanship, and when the legislature sought to expand its own power at the expense of the voter.

Over the past decade or more, the North Carolina General Assembly has taken drastic measures to limit or eliminate the powers of the governor, regardless of which

party was in power. Legislators took 1,200 appointments from the governor, required legislative approval of the governor’s cabinet members and eliminated the governor’s ability to appoint trustees to the University of North Carolina system. They also tried to get amendments to the state’s constitution to give lawmakers the power to determine who serves on an election board and to allow the legislature to make judicial appointments. We vigorously fought those two amendments. Fortunately, voters rejected them at the ballot box.

Today, partisan rancor and legislative attacks on the other branches are the new normal. The reason is partisan gerrymandering. Increasingly sophisticated gerrymanders produce increasingly partisan legislators — legislators who are beholden to the sectarian interests of the party leaders who draw their district lines and the very small number of voters who are most likely to vote in primary elections. These legislators have no real choice but to pursue hyper-partisan agendas without regard for the separation of powers. And today’s gerrymanders are impervious to the measures that constrained these partisan forces and kept our government on track in the past. By design, partisan gerrymandering impedes the voters from exerting their will and rooting out partisanship in the voting booth. And at the extreme, partisan gerrymandering licenses a legislative super-majority to pursue its most zealous impulses, trampling any other branch that stands in its way.

The advancement of technology and the sophistication of computer modeling means mapmakers can draw ger-

rymanders with enough precision to make them unbreakable in all but the most extreme circumstances. And add to it the explosion of big data, mapmakers can apply their increasingly sophisticated tools using granular information about voters which allows them to predict and control election outcomes with pinpoint accuracy. These tools and technologies allow either party to draw super-majorities, which allows the legislature to run roughshod over the other two branches of government. Regardless of party in control, our separation of powers cannot survive with a hyper-partisan gerrymandered legislature. It is up to the courts to end partisan gerrymandering and preserve the separation of powers. Time is critical. We urge the court to exercise its constitutional authority to end partisan gerrymandering now, so that the remedy is implemented before the next general election, through an open, transparent and non-partisan process.

The effects of hyper-partisan gerrymandering show up today in unforeseen super-majorities that have sought to kidnap power from the other branches of government and appropriate them to themselves. That is why we fought those proposed constitutional amendments last year.

These power grabs by the legislature will not stop regardless which party is in power. If the legislature will not fix this problem, then the courts must act in order to protect the powers of the judicial and executive branches of government as established by our constitution. : :

Being clear-eyed about Mayor Pete Op-Ed: Election 2020

BY Aila Alvina Boyd | Guest Contributor

W

e need to talk about the mayor. No, I don’t mean Mayor Bill de Blasio of New York City. Or the obscurely known Mayor Wayne Messam of Miramar, Florida.

I’m referring to openly gay Mayor Pete Buttegieg of South Bend, Ind. Despite his recent slip in the polls, he has still managed to firmly ensconce himself in the top-tier of 2020 Democratic candidates. Because of his status in the race, it’s time that we, the LGBTQ community, start seriously considering whether or not we want to throw our weight behind the first openly LGBTQ candidate that has made a viable bid for the White House. And no, Fred Karger doesn’t count.

There are a lot of considerations. Sure, he’s a perfectly brilliant politician. I have no doubt that his heart is in the right place, but that doesn’t mean that we should support him just because we’re starved for elected leaders who reflect our sexual and gender diversity. We need to be just as strategic about backing candidates as the religious right has been.

The African-American community went through a similar inflection point during the 2008 campaign. Originally, African-Americans largely supported Hillary Clinton because she was viewed as being more electable. Support started to shift once it became apparent that now former President Barack Obama had staying power.

Whether he wants to or not, Buttegieg represents the LGBTQ community. A large portion of Americans still don’t personally know anyone who isn’t heterosexual or cisgender. For that reason, we should consider whether we want

Buttegieg to represent us. Based on his record, I have to say that he’s given us a lot to be proud of. His speech about the internal struggle that he went through on his path to self-acceptance at the LGBTQ Victory Fund back in June was especially poignant. Even the most vehement of homophobes would be hard pressed to deny just how moving the speech was.

Despite Buttegieg’s LGBTQ bona fides, other candidates can boast that they have equally impressive track records when it comes to the issues that impact us. Sen. Bernie Sanders has supported the LGBTQ community longer than Buttegieg has been in politics. Sens. Elizabeth Warren and Kamala Harris have both been strong allies throughout their somewhat shorter political careers. But perhaps most importantly, former Vice President Joe Biden came out in support of same-sex marriage in 2012, while Buttegieg was still closeted and was even credited with persuading Obama to do the same.

Don’t get me wrong, I would love nothing more than to say that our country is being led by an openly gay man.

However, the potential joy of being able to make such a statement shouldn’t guide our thinking. First of all, we need a candidate who can beat President Donald Trump.

Secondly, we need a candidate who genuinely understands the policy issues that we’re facing. Lastly, we need a candidate who is a shrewd political operator. We need someone who can support us through their rhetoric and actions, but can do the same for all communities throughout the country, whether they be minority communities or not.

If Buttegieg happens to emerge as the Democratic nominee, we should keep in mind that he might not be as forceful on LGBTQ matters as we’d like. He’s a bright young man who understands that most elections are decided by those in the middle, not the voters at the extreme ends of the political spectrum. We shouldn’t be surprised if he decides to focus his energy on matters like healthcare and the economy — both of which affect more Americans — at the expense of going into the minutiae of how to prevent religious exemption bills and whether or not the federal government should pay for the gender confirmation surgeries of transgender military members. The AfricanAmerican community was disappointed with Obama’s lack of force following the death of Michael Brown. We should expect that if Buttegieg is elected, he will falter.

However, we should also expect to experience moments of immense pride, similar to the way in which the AfricanAmerican community felt when Obama addressed the massacre that occurred at the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, S.C. I certainly don’t have all of the answers about whether the LGBTQ community should get behind Buttegieg or not. Every individual will have to make that decision on their own. Going forward, I urge the community to listen carefully to what every candidate has to say about all of the issues that affect our daily lives. But with all that in mind, we aren’t single-issue voters. We’re pragmatic and are invested in a wide range of policy matters, which is something we should take pride in. : :

Aug. 23-Sept. 8, 2019

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news Second black trans woman murdered NORTH CHARLESTON, S.C. — The Alliance For Full Acceptance (AFFA) is “sounding the alarm,” saying that “we are in an absolute state of emergency for black transgender women.

The organization was contacted by the friends and family of Pebble LaDime “Dime” Doe, a black transgender woman who was murdered in Allendale County, S.C. on Aug. 4. Doe’s death made her the second black transgender woman to be murdered in as many weeks in the Palmetto State and the fourth known black transgender woman to have been killed since 2018.

Doe’s mother spoke with AFFA Executive Director Chase Glenn, and said that she was discouraged that none of the media seemed to be aware of her daughter’s death. She asked AFFA to use their resources to bring attention to Doe’s murder in hopes that someone might come forward offering tips to investigators and that there might be justice for Doe. In response, AFFA issued the following state(Left to right) Pebble LaDime ‘Dime’ Doe and Keyiariah Quick. (Photo Credit: Facebook) ment from transgender Glenn: “I’m devastated by the news of Dime Doe’s murder in Allendale County. While our community is still reeling from the murder of one of our transgender sisters in North Charleston just two weeks ago, we now learn that a second black trans woman has been murdered not even one hundred miles away.”

While the motives of Doe’s murder are not yet known, “we do know that often, the crimes against trans women of color are fueled by anti-LGBTQ prejudice, racism and misogyny. Black trans women live at the intersection of multiple marginalized identities, are too often treated as disposable, and are experiencing epidemic levels of violence,” Glen added. “We are at a crisis point that demands the nation’s attention. At this moment, there is no sense of peace or security for our transgender community — and there won’t be until their lives are truly respected and valued by society.”

SC Equality Executive Director Jeff Ayers said, “I am angry, heartbroken and exhausted by the news of another life taken from our community. Violence against black trans women is a crisis, and has been for a long time — and nothing seems to change. In a recent released Grapevine Report it shows just how widely violence pervades our lives in the South. Fifty-eight percent of transgender women surveyed reported experiencing high levels of violence by strangers.”

AFFA and SC Equality said they are standing in solidarity with Doe’s family and friends, remembering them and calling for justice for all of the black transgender women who had been killed since 2018: Sasha Wall, Regina Denise Brown, Denali Berries Stuckey and LaDime Doe. Those who have any information that pertains to this case that would be helpful to law enforcement in their investigation, call SLED at 888-CRIME-SC. In related news, The Associated Press reported that South Carolina police said Dominick Archield turned himself in to face a murder charge for the killing of a transgender Denali Berries Stuckey in July and is being held in the Charleston County jail. North Charleston Deputy Police Chief Scott Deckard told the Post and Courier that Stuckey’s killing had not been classified as a hate crime, but remains under investigation.

AFFA Executive Director Chase Glenn said violence against black transgender women is becoming a crisis.

In North Carolina, Keyiariah Quick was found dead in Vass, N.C., but law enforcement officials do not suspect foul play, but others say the 25-year-old was murdered, Out magazine reported.

Quick was originally from a rural area an hour from Greensboro, N.C. Her friend Kris Wilson had moved to the city in 2005 and Quick stayed with her off and on over the years because she got no support from her parents who were not accepting of Quick’s transgender identity.

Not all of the details were available at press time and discrepancies surrounding the death are being investigated.

If Quick’s death is determined to be murder, this will be the second transgender woman to be killed in the Tar Heel State. In June Chanel Scurlock’s body was found in Lumberton, N.C. A suspect was arrested shortly afterward. info: affa-sc.org. postandcourier.com. bit.ly/2HfYbeG. bit.ly/31PILWx. — Lainey Millen

Trans hormone therapy alters medical tests ANAHEIM, Calif. — Groundbreaking research presented at the 71st AACC Annual Scientific Meeting & Clinical Lab Expo has revealed how transgender hormone therapy affects the results of common laboratory tests in the long term. This first-of-its-kind study could enable the development of transgender-specific reference intervals, which are crucial to ensuring that transgender patients get accurate diagnoses and equitable healthcare.

AACC said, “Research presented in 2018 at the 70th AACC Annual Scientific Meeting showed that six months of transgender hormone therapy markedly changes results for common laboratory tests. This finding demonstrates a critical need for transgender-specific reference intervals, which are the ranges of lab values observed in a healthy population that are used to determine whether individual lab results are normal or concerning. Without these reference intervals, clinicians could misinterpret transgender patient test results, which in turn could lead to serious health consequences as a result of misdiagnosis and/or inappropriate treatment.”

The researchers behind the 2018 study — a team led by Jeffrey SoRelle, M.D., of the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas — have now completed a followup study that lays the foundation for establishing transgender-specific reference intervals.

SoRelle’s team tracked comprehensive metabolic panel, complete blood count, and lipid test results for 147 healthy transgender patients on hormone therapy over the course of five years. This is the longest time that any study has monitored lab values in transgender individuals to date, AACC shared.

Jeffrey SoRelle, MD. Out of all the test values the study examined, red blood cell and creatinine levels (a (Photo Credit: Facebook) measure of kidney health) underwent the largest shifts when transgender individuals started hormone therapy. These values then typically stabilized after six months. In transgender women specifically, platelet and low-density lipoprotein levels (a measure of cardiovascular health) increased after several years of hormone therapy, while alkaline phosphatase (a marker of liver and bone health) decreased steadily for a few years before returning to baseline levels in the long term. Knowledge of these trends could greatly improve healthcare providers’ ability to interpret transgender patients’ results for routine lab tests, and to monitor these patients for conditions ranging from anemia to heart disease and kidney failure. info: aacc.org.

— Lainey Millen

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qnotes

Aug. 23-Sept. 8, 2019

Briefs Pride event hits 200k mark

Charlotte Pride Festival & Parade organizers have released estimates estimated attendance records for the Aug. 17-18 event. This year there were 200,000 that visited the two-day festival, topping the 2018 record of 165,000. A contributing factor to the significant rise in attendance was the observance of the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots in New York. Across the globe, the LGBTQ community has been celebrating the milestone by way of festivals and other observances.

info: charlottepride.org.

Trans inmate gets moved

The Associate Press reported that transgender prisoner Kanautica Zayre-Brown was transferred to a women’s facility after an exhaustive process to gain her move to Anson Correctional Institution in Polkton, N.C. All of this came to fruition after the threat of an American Civil Liberties Union lawsuit, along with prison officials’ review.

info: bit.ly/2Mo5KUP.

Film fest changes name

The North Carolina Gay + Lesbian Film Festival recently completed it last season using that name and will emerge next year as OutSouth Queer Film Festival, Indy Week reported. The Durham, N.C.based event is the second-largest LGBTQ film festival in the Southeast.

info: bit.ly/2ZcGd30.

GLSEN honors actress

The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) honored Octavia Spencer with the Inspiration Award at its gala earlier in August, The Associated Press reported.

info: bit.ly/2TI5DnO.

Film resource removes birth names IMDb has agreed to remove birth names in its database listings, Fast Company reported. This came after pressure from the LGBTQ community. Deadnaming is considered painful and an affront to those who are affected by the practice.

info: bit.ly/2KU6P3A.

Lingerie Giant hires trans model

Victoria’s Secret has welcomed its first transgender “angel,” Valentina Sampaio, to its company’s list of models. This came after the company received pressure when an officer stated that Victoria’s Secret would never include “‘transsexuals’ because ‘the show is a fantasy,’” The Associated Press reported.

info: bit.ly/2Naot61.

Diversity project to be presented

The Diversity Recruiting Maturity Model will be presented at the HIREConf in October. It has been a collaborative effort by Total Engagement Consulting’s Stan Kimer and four other diversity consultants who have created a roadmap for planning and executing a diversity recruiting program.

info: bit.ly/2N87C3M.

Errata

We incorrectly identified Charlotte City Council person LaWana Mayfield as a former member in our story on city and county government. Mayfield is currently serving in this capacity. We regret the error.

Herndon releases cover of Underwood’s ‘So Small’ NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Grammy-nominated and gay country singer/songwriter Ty Herndon has released a new track, “So Small.” The latest single from his upcoming album, “Got It Covered,” the song was originally co-written and sung by Carrie Underwood.

The track is currently available to stream via Taste of Country at youtu.be/vr6zm8lpEfU. Herndon chose to record his version of the song as a result of the significant role the song played in his own life. “After I moved back home from Los Angeles to Nashville, I had not made a record for almost a decade,” Herndon shared. “I was having a tough time deciding whether or not I wanted to stay in a business that I loved so much. I was in my truck on my way to a real estate class when I heard Carrie Underwood sing a song that changed the game for me.

The message was incredibly strong and it was something I needed to hear. I had quite a few tears that morning in my truck. I let go of my fear and decided to stay in the music business.

And it also gave me the courage to start the conversation about my own coming out process.”

In honor of Pride month, Herndon released a re-recording of his 1995 single “What Mattered Most” with the pronouns reversed from the original to reflect Herndon’s true self that fans have come to know since he came out in 2014.

In November of 2014, Herndon was the first major male country artist to publicly come out as gay. Shortly after, he made history when he hosted the first-of-its-kind country music event, titled The Concert for Love and Acceptance. The event, designed to bring attention and support to at-risk youth and acceptance, received national attention. Herndon received an outpouring of support that strengthened his relationship with fans. Since the launch of the event, Herndon has partnered with GLAAD to produce the event each year.

Using his influence for the better good, GLAAD announced that a grant, named after Herndon, was being offered to support young people for their commitment to enhancing LGBTQ inclusion and representation in music. The recipient of the Ty Herndon Rising Stars Grant receives $2,500 to further fund their work and initiatives.

Herndon recently lent his vocals on the tribute track, “Hands.” The single, released through Interscope Records in conjunction with GLAAD, is a musical tribute to the victims of the shooting at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Fla. Herndon was among list of artists, including Mary J. Blige, Jason Derulo, Selena Gomez, Imagine Dragons, Jennifer Lopez, Kacey Musgraves, P!nk, RuPaul, Britney Spears, Gwen Stefani, Meghan Trainor and more, voicing support for the LGBTQ community in the original song. Proceeds from the track benefit Equality Florida Pulse Victims Fund, the LGBT Community Center of Central Florida and GLAAD. info: tyherndon.com.

— Lainey Millen

HRC releases healthcare index WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) Foundation released its 12th annual Healthcare Equality Index (HEI), which scores health care facilities on policies and practices dedicated to the equitable treatment and inclusion of their LGBTQ patients, visitors and employees.

A record 680 health care facilities actively participated in this year’s survey, and, even as TrumpPence continue their assault on LGBTQ-inclusive health care, 406 of them earned a top score of 100, the organization said. Facilities received HRC’s coveted “Leader in LGBTQ Health Care Equality” designation. In addition, the HRC Foundation proactively researched key policies at 1,000 non-participating hospitals across the nation.

“As the Trump-Pence administration continues to attack the most fundamental rights of LGBTQ people, including rolling back non-discrimination protections in the Affordable Care Act and promoting a license to discriminate in health care, it is more important than ever that health care institutions stand with the LGBTQ community,” said HRC President Alphonso David. “The health care facilities that participate in HRC’s Healthcare Equality Index are making clear that they stand on the side of fairness and are committed to providing inclusive care to their LGBTQ patients.”

David launched the HEI in Columbus, Ohio, as part of his cross-country tour. The #WeAreHRC tour marks David’s first official act as the head of the LGBTQ civil rights group and highlights his priorities for the coming years, including passing the Equality Act, stopping the trend of anti-transgender violence, expanding access to inclusive healthcare, ending the HIV and AIDS epidemic and electing pro-equality candidates up and down the ballot. Despite the assaults on LGBTQ-inclusive health care from the highest offices in the U.S., HRC has and remains committed to ensuring that LGBTQ people have access to respectful and appropriate care.

In the 2019 report, 406 facilities earned HRC’s “LGBTQ Health Care Equality Leader” designation, receiving the maximum score in each section and earning an overall score of 100. Another 148 facilities earned the “Top Performer” designation for scoring from 80 to 95 points. “With 81 percent of participating facilities scoring 80 points or more, healthcare facilities are demonstrating concretely that they are going beyond the basics when it comes to adopting policies and practices in LGBTQ care,” HRC stated.

Of the 1,000 hospitals that did not actively participate in the HEI but were included based on HRC Foundation research, only 67 percent have patient non-discrimination policies that include both sexual orientation and gender identity, and only 62 percent were found to have an LGBTQ-inclusive employment non-discrimination policy. The equal visitation policy, in place at 90 percent of facilities that did not actively participate, is the only aspect in which this group comes close to matching the rate of the participating facilities. info: bit.ly/33EdJCN. — Lainey Millen

Aug. 23-Sept. 8, 2019

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Aug. 23-Sept. 8, 2019

life

Immigrants in the Queen City How Charlotte Immigrants Live and Work in the Current Climate

By Carlyle Addy | QNotes Contributing Writer

Taking the conflict to the masses, protesters continue to wage a war against the Trump administration and its handling of immigration issues, including the conditions at detention camps, separation of families, Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) individuals status, as well as those who are undocumented. (Photo Credit: Carlyle Addy)

I

mmigration has been a defining issue of 2019. The numerous deaths of children and adults in Immigration and Customs Enforcement detention centers have brought heavy press coverage to the U.S. border with Mexico and immigration from Central and South America as a whole.

The Trump administration’s rhetoric regarding both formal and undocumented immigrants has been increasingly divisive and reminiscent of the rhetoric of white supremacists. Last fall’s judicial fight over the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) program left many people in a precarious situation, unsure of their status.

Dangerous Rhetoric

Since the occupant of the White House announced his campaign in 2015, his statements and policy positions regarding immigration have been divisive. He has repeatedly called immigrants crossing the U.S./Mexico border criminals, also claiming that they are bringing drugs across the border and increasing crime rates. Research

by Pew Research Center and The Marshall Project actually showed that the crime rate changed little as immigration varied. In fact the only statistically relevant finding was a slight decrease in property crime when immigration increased. While the Drug Enforcement Agency listed the southern border as the primary source of foreign drugs into the U.S., there is little evidence that undocumented immigrants are a significant factor in bringing drugs across the border.

The administration has also been accused of encouraging violence against undocumented immigrants. These ac-

cusations have increased after a Trump supporter opened fire in an El Paso Wal-mart earlier this month with the intention of killing as many Latinx people as possible. qnotes spoke with one gay Charlotte man qnotes will call Carlos to safeguard his undocumented status. He said that Donald Trump was wrong. “It’s not good that they see it that way.” Carlos said that immigrants who did commit crimes made it worse for the community. “They make it harder for the rest of us. If you work hard in this country, and you do the right thing, you can make money. It’s easy.

Some people, they don’t want to do that.” He works for a handyman company, owned by an American family member. He came to the U.S. for work, after struggling to make a living in Mexico.

He rents a place in Charlotte and spends time working or with his family. He said that while he doesn’t like the national conversation around immigration, he isn’t all that afraid in Charlotte. “In other places, the police work with ICE. Here, they don’t do that.” Still, the man is careful about staying within the law. Something as common as a traffic violation can put an immigrant on the radar of immigration authorities.

DACA

The Obama Administration issued an executive order in 2012 to provide safety to undocumented migrants who were brought the U.S. as children. The DACA plan allowed applicants to defer action on their immigration cases for two years, allowing them to remain in the U.S. without fear of being deported. The program led to outrage among

congressional Republicans and became a major legal fight for the Trump administration. However, for DACA recipients, the program has been helpful. A 2016 report in the Journal of Public Economics noted increased wages and employment status of immigrants eligible for the program.

It has also allowed some immigrants to successfully attend universities without fear of federal law enforcement.

While recipients under DACA are considered out-of-state students regardless of where they live and are ineligible for federal aid including grants and some loans, some scholarships exist for undocumented students. However, this can lead to other complications. One bisexual Charlotte immigrant, qnotes will call Angela to safeguard her undocumented status, is currently enrolled in a university and said that she isn’t able to get health insurance unless it is mandated by the school. She said that DACA allows her to get a work permit and social security card, meaning, “We can work but we can’t get sick.”

Angela has lived in the U.S. since she was eight-yearsold, and speaks English and Spanish both fluently. She works legally at a community center and as a babysitter.

Her parents also work at the community center. She filed earlier this summer for the renewal of her DACA status.

While current and previous successful applicants can reapply for protection under DACA, the program is not currently accepting new applicants. This means that the program won’t apply to children who have been recently separated from their families. see Immigration on 10

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Family Separation

Family separation has been among the most controversial recent immigration policies. While a federal court in June of 2018 ordered I.C.E. to stop separating migrants from their children at the border, the Trump administration was also ordered to reunite families that had already been separated. When the deadline for this order expired, approximately 102 toddlers and infants were still separated from their parents, as well as thousands of children between the ages of five and 17. Hundreds of parents were allegedly deported without their children. Conditions in the detention centers for children have caused concerns among members of Congress.

HIV Status

Recently, during a hearing in the House of Representatives on the policies of family separation at the border, Customs and Border Patrol Chief Brian Hastings told Representative Janie Raskin that they separated children from HIV-positive parents because HIV is considered a communicable disease. In fact, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention specifically stated that HIV is exempted from the definition of a communicable disease of public health significance when applied to immigrants because it cannot be spread through casual contact. Children can contract HIV from their mother in utero, but transmission is unlikely from parent to child after birth. This ruling was made in 2011 after HIV was removed from the list in 2010.

Current diseases listed as communicable are gonorrhea, infectious leprosy, syphilis in the infectious stage and active tuberculosis. When Rep. Raskin asked if families were being separated because a parent had the flu, Hastings stated that this was not the case.

Sanctuary Cities and Charlotte

Protesters have fought against the Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency and even think it should be abolished due to the treatment of detainees and the Trump administration’s stance on immigrants.

(Photo Credit: Carlyle Addy)

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Charlotte is currently a sanctuary city. While this doesn’t entirely protect immigrants from federal agents, it does allow local law enforcement to refuse to cooperate with immigration officials. This includes detaining people suspected of being undocumented and helping ICE conduct raids.

An immigrant man in Charlotte said that he enjoyed living here in part because of the way the city treats immigrants. He has lived other places, including Atlanta, Ga., and said that Charlotte was the most welcoming city he had lived in while in the U.S. “People here, they don’t care if you are from another country. They don’t care if you have an accent. Most people just care about you doing good work.”

As for deportation, the man said, “I would come back. I hope that I don’t get deported, but if I do, I would not stay in Mexico. I would try to come back.” : :

views

Immigration Law and the LGBTQ Community Legal Eagles

BY Jessica Yañez, attorney | guest WRITER “Do you help gay couples?”

The year was 2013 and the Supreme Court had recently ruled that the samesex marriage ban was unconstitutional in the landmark United States v. Windsor case. I could tell the caller on the line was nervous and looking for help. He was undocumented and had recently married his U.S. citizen partner. He let me know that they had called other law firms and had not been treated well at all. I told him how sorry I was and assured him that we would be happy to work with them. As I hung up the phone it occurred to me that even though the Supreme Court had confirmed the constitutional rights of same-sex couples, they still faced discrimination on a regular basis.

Because immigration law is federal, U.S. citizens and permanent residents were allowed to file petitions for their same-sex spouses following the 2013 Supreme Court decision. North Carolina would not come to recognize the marriage rights of same-sex couples until 2014, and it wasn’t until 2015 that the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that all states must recognize that same-sex couples have the right to marry.

Navigating the U.S. immigration system is difficult. While the laws may treat samesex couples equally, it’s imperative for LGBTQ immigrants and their partners to find an attorney who specializes in immigration law and who works frequently with LGBTQ couples to make sure that they are properly advised about their legal options.

There are multiple paths to obtaining lawful status in the United States, including: • Marriage-Based Green Card Cases Individuals who are married to a U.S. citizen may be able to obtain permanent resident status in the United States by applying for a process known as adjustment of status. This is possible for immigrants who entered the United States with a visa, or may have had a petition filed on their behalf prior to April 30, 2001. The process requires extensive paperwork to be filed with the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service (USCIS). The applicant can receive a temporary work and travel permit while the case is pending. The couple will be interviewed at the local USCIS office to confirm that they have a valid marriage and

resident card in the that the applicant is mail. As mentioned eligible to become a previously, the card permanent resident. will be conditional If the couple has if the marriage is been married for less than two years less than two years old at the time of at the time of apapproval. proval, the applicant • Other Forms of will be issued a Relief for LGBTQ two-year, conditional Immigrants Who green card. Prior to Have Suffered the expiration of the There are other conditional resident Securing an immigration attorney is forms of relief availcard, the couple will essesntial for LGBTQ couples. able to LGBTQ have to file another (Photo Credit: Rawf8 via Adobe Stock) immigrants includpetition to remove ing the U visa, for the conditions on those who have been victims of severe the residency and receive the permanent crimes and assisted the authorities with resident card. If they have been married the investigation of the crime. The T visa for more than two years, the applicant will is an option available to those who have be issued a 10-year green card. been victims of human trafficking. Under • Waivers the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), imIf a person entered the United States migrants (regardless of gender) who have without a visa, it will be necessary for the been subjected to abuse at the hands of a immigrant to seek a waiver and travel U.S. citizen or permanent resident spouse back home to the country of origin to have can file a petition to seek permanent resithe interview at the U.S. Embassy. The dent status in the United States. Asylum waiver process involves multiples steps is another form of relief that may be with different government agencies and available for LGBTQ individuals who fear is complex. Not everyone is eligible for a persecution if they are returned to their waiver. For those who are eligible, LGBTQ applicants may be at a heightened risk if they have to return to a country where same-sex marriage is not recognized and LGBTQ couples are persecuted. A knowledgeable immigration attorney can help prepare a strong waiver case while also working with the couples to take extra precautions to ensure their safety.

• Consular Processing For spouses of U.S. citizens and permanent residents who live abroad, consular processing is another path to lawful status. This process requires the U.S. citizen or permanent resident to file a petition in the United States. Upon approval, the petition is routed through the National Visa Center, the agency responsible for collecting all required documentation prior to scheduling the interview at the U.S. Embassy or Consulate abroad. The applicant is interviewed and issued a visa to travel to the United States. Upon arrival, the applicant receives the permanent

country of origin.

If all of this sounds quite complicated, that’s because it is! No two cases are alike, and it is extremely important for immigrants and their families to seek the advice of an experienced immigration attorney prior to filing any type of application. The immigration process can be costly and take years to complete. Filing the wrong paperwork can have severe consequences, in some cases leading to removal from the United States.

For those who have no legal path to lawful status in the United States, it is important to know the numbers of local immigration attorneys who can help in the event someone is detained by immigration authorities.

It is incredible to think that less than five years ago two people in love were prohibited from marrying each other because of their gender. While legal victories have opened the door to same-sex marriage and all of the benefits that come with it, we must not forget how long it took to get to this point and how much work still has to be done to protect both immigrants’ rights and LGBTQ rights. : : Jessica Yañez is a North Carolina certified specialist in immigration law.

Aug. 23-Sept. 8, 2019

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Fall fests dot the Carolinas’ landscape Head Out for Some Fall Fun

by Lainey Millen | qnotes Staff Writer

Well, summer is winding down, but you’d hardly think so with the blistery heat we’ve experienced this year. Never fear! To cool things down a bit, we’ve assembled a sampling of fall festivals that will usher in the season and provide for a fun-filled time across the Carolinas.

FESTIVALS Yiasou Greek Festival Sept. 5-8 Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church 600 East Blvd., Charlotte Times Vary Take a step into the Grecian world for this long-running festival that began in 1978 that brings tasty food, entertainment, dance competitions and exhibitions, church tours, lectures, cooking demonstrations, shopping, kids playland and more. For months prior to the event, Charlotte area cooks and restaurants prepare desserts and plated meal components that are staple for festival goers. (Personally, I don’t know how they do it! The lines for plates are long, but so worth it!) They even have a drive-up food service for those on the go.

Tickets are $3 and are available in advance or at the gate. yiasoufestival.org.

Festival in the Park Sept. 20-22 Freedom Park 1908 East Blvd.

Time Vary In its 55th season, attendees can stroll around the park’s lake and get a glimpse of the work of artisans from across numerous mediums. Entertainment is provided on a number of stages across the festival footprint. And, there’s a plethora of food choices, too! festivalinthepark.org.

International Festival Sept. 21 University of North Carolina at Charlotte Barnhardt Student Activity Center 9201 University City Blvd., Charlotte 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

This one-day festival honors the culture of over 50 nations and began in 1975.

Enjoy music, dance and other activities that showcase international flavors. Admission and parking for the event are free. Check the website for directions to parking. ifest.uncc.edu.

Carolina Balloon Fest Oct. 18-20 Statesville, N.C. (check the website for directions to parking and transportation to launch site) Gates open at 3 p.m., opening day; 7 a.m., following days It’s up and away with hot air balloon flights scheduled twice daily — early morning and late afternoon. All ballooning activities including static display, tethered rides and balloon flights are weather-dependent.

Kick back and watch the flights and sights, live music, Artisan Village, food and craft beer and wine and more. Check the website for the full list of events during the festival. carolinabaloonfest.com.

Apple Harvest Festival Oct. 19 Main St., Waynesville Hailed as one of the 10 Best Fall Harvest Festivals in the Nation, this festival is a celebration of the autumn harvest.

Countless booths of fresh apple pies, tarts, caramel apples, ciders, jewelry, pottery and yard art will be present. Try your hand at hand-cranking ice cream or pressing apple cider, then taste the fruit of your labor. Live music, dancing, crafts and oldfashioned games abound! bit.ly/2ZfhMWL. Barbeque Festival Oct. 27 Various Locations Lexington, N.C. Pig out at this festival held in the town famous for its pit-cooked pork. After you sample the barbecue, enjoy music, craft vendors, a car show and more. barbecuefestival.com.

Queen City Fall Festival Nov. 16 The Carole Hoefener Center 615 E. 6th St., Charlotte 1-5 p.m.

One of the largest fall festivals in the Queen City, this one-day event includes performances, games, food, drinks, bake sale, face painting and activities, crafts and vendors, plus door prizes and giveaways.

Admission is free. bit.ly/2Hfdogm.

Celebration of Seagrove Potters Nov. 22-24 Luck’s Cannery 798 Pottery Hwy. NC-705, Seagrove This festival showcases the works of more than 100 potters in what is considered to be the Pottery Capital of the U.S. Meet potters and other local artisans and see them at work on their creative pieces. discoverseagrove.com.

POTPOURI Fall Colors Take a jaunt to the North Carolina mountains in October and early November to see the brilliant fall colors while relaxing at one of numerous bed and breakfast locations, as well as other accommodations.

Check locations for websites for more information. Or, enjoy a camping, canoe, kayaking or other outdoor adventure before the weather turns cold! There’s always something fun to do.

Gaston Pride Festival Sept. 14 Gastonia, N.C. facebook.com/gastonpride.

Greensboro Pride Festival Sept. 15 Greensboro, N.C. greensboropride.org.

Catawba Valley Pride Festival Sept. 21 Hickory, N.C. catawbavalleypride.org.

Blue Ridge Pride Festival Sept. 28 Asheville, N.C. blueridgepride.org.

Pride Durham Sept. 28 Durham, N.C. pridedurhamnc.org.

NC Pride Sept. 28 Raleigh, N.C. bit.ly/2NiunSH.

PRIDE FESTIVALS

Famously Hot South Carolina Pride Oct. 4-5 Columbia, S.C. scpride.org.

South Carolina Black Pride Aug. 22-25 Columbia, S.C. southcarolinablackpride.com.

Alamance Pride Festival Oct. 5 Burlington, N.C. alamancepride.org.

Port City Pride Aug. 31 Wilmington, N.C. bit.ly/2TMK8mb.

Fayetteville Pride Community Picnic Oct. 12 Hope Mills, N.C. bit.ly/31VAyjL.

Charleston Pride Week Sept. 7-14 Festival on Sept. 14 charlestonpride.org.

Pride Winston Salem Oct. 19 Winston-Salem, N.C. pridews.org.

Outer Banks (OBX) Pridefest Sept. 13-15 Nags Head, N.C. obxpridefest.com.

Upstate Pride Nov. 2 Spartanburg, S.C. upstatepridesc.org.

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Six Tips on How to Deal with a Bully in Your Life Mental Health

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BY Stanley Popovich | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

ave you ever been bullied at your job or in your personal life?

Do you currently know someone who is? A person who is being bullied has a higher rate of depression and anxiety which can be a contributing factor in a person’s quality of life.

As a result, here are some suggestions on how to deal with a bully and how to get them to stop bothering you.

1. S how people that you are confident in yourself.

It is important to believe in yourself you display confidence when dealing with others. Bullies tend to bother people who are unsure about themselves. It is important that other people know that you have a lot of self-confidence. This will prevent a bully from targeting you.

2. Always stand up for yourself.

Always stand your ground when dealing with conflict from others. Let people know that you will stand up for yourself when some people get on your case. This will show others that you will not sit by and be bullied without doing anything about it. This will make the bullies think twice before bothering you.

3. There is safety in numbers If you can, it is good to hang out with a group of friends — whether it is at your job or in your personal life. A bully will tend to go after somebody who is alone and by themselves. He/she/ they will less likely bother you if they know that you have a group of people that will back you up. Even if you have trouble making friends, just having acquaintances can go a long way in preventing someone from harassing you.

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space starting at $22: call qnotes for details 704.531.9988

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4. Learn how to deal with a bully.

If you are being bullied, it is important to learn effective techniques on how to deal with the situation. You can talk to a professional counselor who will help you find a way and give you tips on what you can do when you are being bullied. You can also go to a local mental health support group in your area that can give you additional advice. The key is to learn what you need to do to stop someone from bullying you.

5. Never show them your emotions.

If someone decides to harass you, it is a good idea to not let the person know they are getting to you. Letting a bully know that they are bothering you will only make things worse. Never show the bully your fears or frustrations. Hopefully, the person will get tired of bothering you, and they will find somewhere else to go.

6. Talk to the person.

If possible, talk to the person who is bothering you and find out why they are doing so. Ask them if you did anything wrong that made them angry. Try to find the reason why he or she is bothering you. Stay calm and be polite when talking to the person who is harassing you. Hopefully, there may be a chance to reconcile with that person. : : Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology, Christianity and Non Resistant Methods.” For information, visit managingfear.com.

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I am Fat and Fab Dishing with Buff Faye

BY Buff Faye | CONTRIBUTING WRITER | info@bufffaye.com

T

he world is full of well-intentioned people. And just because their intentions are good, it doesn’t mean that they are not wrong for what they say or do, particularly when their actions or words can — and do — harm people.

In my drag persona and in my life, I have known firsthand for over 40 plus years what it has been like to live being fat, overweight, chunky, biggie size, living large — whatever we call people of size these days. After all my drag name is Buff Faye, and I try to be a strong champion, positive influence and role model for those who do not fit the boxes that society places on us.

I realize that when it comes to health — mental and physical health — that the journey is one with lifelong struggles in the form of isolation, self-harm, bullying, harassment, drugs and alcohol, depression and even suicidality. It has never been easy to be “fat” in our society and it never will be.

So you can imagine my reaction when I was reading my qnotes this past week and saw an article that read “Fat is not fab.” Uh, hold up… what is this about?

I thought maybe the article was a personal story of someone who was sharing their weight loss journey, maybe tips on how to mentally and physically prepare to lose weight or possibly a “shocking headline” to merely make a point about how people who are fat are often bullied?! I was wrong.

Instead, it was written by a dancer, choreographer and fitness trainer named Jack Kirven.

Jack, according to his website, was “born in Atlanta, GA and grew up in Augusta. He has always been athletic. Jack started competitive gymnastics at seven, adding ballet at twelve, and then pursuing Dance, Personal Training and Athletic Conditioning as a career.” Well, get her!

Damn, queen that’s impressive and I mean that seriously. One step away from Olympic gold and a tiara!

Jack first tells us he loves fat people and how he would “cheer” (and likely pirouette) happily for all fat people who loved themselves. Because as he says, he would never shame anyone “given my own struggles with body image.” Then the kicker, Jack writes “it has gone too far.”

“A fat person isn’t cushioned, plus sized, curvy, thick, cuddly or pleasantly plump. A fat person is fat.” What did he say?! So much for not shaming or blaming fat people.

Then he tries to backtrack: “This does not mean I blame people for being fat, or that I think they are failures by default.” But Jack, Jack… your words… surely you can have found a better way to write this or possibly from your experience being overweight. Oh wait, you have never been fat. Silly me.

Jack then goes on to prove his point and brings up the hit rapper song artist Lizzo and her song “Tempo” saying how he loved Lizzo for being inspiring and confident at first and how she speaks truth for fat people like herself. At least, Jack is clear that he has never been fat (gasp, no). But hold on… then Jack says: “It’s a great message. However, Lizzo, and many other fat famous people, tend to justify their self love within the parameters of humor or sassiness. And what is that? It’s an inverted fat joke, and how is that actually helpful or healthy? How is it empowering to be huge and knowingly eat crap food in a music video while simultaneously acknowledging to some degree that it’s oddly repulsive and needs to be softened with whimsy? But the moment that gave me a visceral response? When umpteen huge

women in ridiculously small shorts (so, it’s now equal opportunity sexual objectification?) formed a circle around Lizzo and started twerking. Appalling.”

HOLD UP!? Somebody hold my Big Mac, Whopper and Frosty!

What did he say?! Did Jack call plus size women dancing appalling? He shames fat people and their bodies without even a hesitant breath. Maybe Jack, in his best intentions, thinks because Lizzo is a celebrity and she does not give a damn what other people say, it’s okay for him to write this. That’s not the point. One of the reasons I even care to write this column is not for Jack or for me. It is for the people who physically and mentally are struggling out there with weight loss. They are alone, isolated and feel the words, the shame and the bias language written in this article and it cuts away like knifes deeply in their hearts. Many have wounds and heartache related to their weight loss journey. I have been there. I know this to be true.

Jack is clueless. He calls “huge” women “appalling.” I would never want to be trained by someone who writes such things, regardless of how good his intentions are.

It is wrong. This article does nothing but point blame — and perpetuates the horrible shame that people of size encounter every day of our existence.

I am disappointed that qnotes even published this article. Furthermore, I challenged Jack to show his personal commitment to help overweight people in the comments and possibly to offer free sessions. His response, “Why would I do my job for free?”

Society can never understand, unless they have lived the life of a plus size person, what it is like— our journey. It is still the one prejudice and form of discrimination that we allow and justify today.

For the record, I don’t call myself “Buff Faye” for the stereotypes or the laughter. Rather, I do it for the empowerment and the self-proclaimed affirmation we all deserve to live — with respect and human dignity. And I am fat and (wait for it) F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S! : : DRAG TIP: Find a fitness trainer who inspires and uplifts you.

Make sure they are in the business to help people, not just make a fast buck by selling you sessions.

Buff Faye calls the Queen City her home and lives for Lizzo and her song “Tempo” (plus she loves to raise money for charities).

Find her at your favorite bars and hot spots. And don’t forget her monthly Saturday night shows, Sunday drag brunch and regular Friday night party bus.

Learn more at AllBuff.com. Follow on Twitter @BuffFaye.

Photo Credit: Scott Clinton Photography

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10 Questions with Vic: Featuring Wils Gay Chinese Singer

BY Vic Gerami | QNotes ONTRIBUTING WRITER out has been the most beautiful thing in my life. I got to see how beautiful life is when you’re about to freely express yourself and be genuine in front of those you love. There was some backlash from conservatives in Asia that think being gay is wrong. I had a lot of negative comments thrown onto me about my sexuality, but I think about my beloved LGBT family and friends and those who would benefit from my coming out, it gives me the energy and love to stay afloat. My beloved LGBT family and friends helped me through this. I love you all so much.

Originally from Singapore, you are the first openly out Chinese singer. How do you reflect on that and its impact?

I think this gives hope to a lot of LGBT kids who are in the closet to know that it’s okay to be gay and to be courageous, loving and live truthfully. I want these unrepresented kids to feel loved and belonged in a community. I remember being a kid, being so passionate about everything that I did. I want these LGBT kids and friends to know that it’s still possible for them to achieve their dreams being gay. That nothing will stop them and with the love from the community, I want to see them flourish. There’s still a lot of censorship for LGBT contents in Asia and this is the time we change that through the love of our community!

Gay Chinese vocal artist Wils. (Photo Credit: Lester V)

W

ils, the first openly gay Chinese singer, originally from Singapore, had a remarkable career before he came out as gay this year. His hit album, “WTF,” was named Pop Album of the Year, received Best Album nomination at the Los Angeles Music Awards and he was named Pop Artist of the Year (male).

Wils’ Men’s Health Magazine cover earned him the nickname, “Beast of the East.” With the release of his new album, “Open Up Babe” recently, I had the chance to chat with Wils and discuss his music, being gay and planned Pride Tour.

You recently came out publicly with a music video.

How was the journey to that point and the process of coming out?

It was so hard living in the closet. I couldn’t be authentic with myself and I think that’s one of the hardest things I’ve had to go through in my life. I wasn’t treating myself right because I didn’t allow myself to be who I am. But coming

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As a trailblazer, do you feel the pressure to be a ‘role model’ for Asian LGBTQIA youth, in and out of the closet?

No I don’t feel the pressure. In fact it was a release for me to come out of the closet. I know that many people can benefit from my experience, and it puts a smile on my face every time someone comes up or messages me about how it has changed their lives.

I actually feel really happy that I can relate so much to the Asian LGBTQIA youth because of what I went through growing up in the closet. Being a gay man in an Asian family means that we have to carry the weight of our parents wanting us to get married in order to pass on our family name. But these days it’s changing. I mean, we can always get children even as gay man. My dad had a conversation about wanting me to have a family after I came out. I told him that it’s possible, as a gay man, to have a family. And to keep the family name as well.

Although that’s not something that’s really important for me, I feel that the bond we have with the ones we love are more important than a title.

I just feel that as long as I stay truthful and authentic to be who I am no more and no less, it’ll be so easy to keep up. I think!

Your former record label was not thrilled when you decided to come out. How did that feel considering that this is not the 1980s, and what did you do about it?

I don’t blame them for being upset. I think it’s because they have not dealt with a situation like this before. It’s always better for them to go the safe route — where there are so many censorships of LGBT contents in Asia — and they fear that having an LGBT image will ruin their reputation. But things are changing, and it’s about time we allow them to see what LGBT community is all about. I was just at the World Pride in NYC with my best friend this weekend.

Seeing millions of people on the streets celebrating world pride. I think gay people are the ones who bring so much happiness in the world. We are the only community with so much diversity coming together as one to celebrate. How beautiful is that? I told them it’s okay that they removed all my social media, that they can try silence an artist’s voice, but they can’t silence an artist’s soul. It’ll only make me shine brighter with the truth and my LGBT family.

Your new album is titled, “Open Up Babe.” Tell me about the title and the album in general.

“Open Up Babe” was a song about opening up to the world of possibilities. When I lived in the closet, I held back with so many things that I believed in because I was fearful about my sexuality being discovered. “Open Up Babe” represents this loving, authentic and truthful me, speaking to my fearful younger self that everything is going to be okay when you trust your heart in being truthful to who you are.

You have a big female following. What has their reaction been like since coming out?

I thought I’d no longer get the panties. But it’s really neat because my relationship with women is so much stronger now, because they know that I won’t be a #metoo but instead I’ll be their advice for whether they get a green light or red light with the man they like.

Tell me about your fans in general, especially when they recognize you in public.

My fans are super friendly and approachable. My favorite part is seeing fans come up to me and giving me hugs in public. It makes me feel so happy that they show their affection in a public space. I remember when a fan came up to me when I was in a gym and gave me a hug from the back. I returned the hug and said thank you for being so genuine. And the response was “it’s because you showed me that this is possible.” I fucking bawled my eyes out immediately. It means the world to me when fans take this part of goodness and interact this way in their daily lives.

What’s new on your play list?

So in love with A R I Z O N A’s “I Was Wrong” (Robin Schulz remix) — this one’s a calming song for me after a day full of activities. “Burn” by Super8 & Tab (Luke Bond Remix) is my new workout fav. “Boys in The Street” (remixed by Seeb, sung by Greg Holden) is my new LGBT fav.

“Never let me go” — Alok (The song that lifts me up when I need [it]).

What is your favorite charity or cause?

The Trevor Project — saving young LGBTQ lives. Some kids are so young they don’t have the resources to make decisions that may affect their lives.

What project(s) do you have coming up?

A full length album. Pride Tour! : :

Aug. 23-Sept. 8, 2019

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‘This One Looks Like a Boy’ Out in Print

BY terri schlichenmeyer | CONTRIBUTING WRITER “This One Looks Like a Boy: My Gender Journey to Life as a Man”

by Lorimer Shenher ©2019, Greystone Books $26.95 304 pages

L

ooks aren’t everything.

There’s a good chance someone’s reminded you of that fact at some point during your dating years: the outside pales in comparison to the inner person you love. Appearance rarely matters… except, as in the memoir “This One Looks Like a Boy” by Lorimer Shenher, to the one who lives with it.

At four years old, Lori Shenher knew that lining up with the girls in kindergarten was somehow wrong. She wasn’t a girl; she belonged with the boys.

That wasn’t the first inkling that something was different about her; even her Grandma had pointed out Lori’s appearance. Indeed, Lori did look like a boy and as she grew, things got more complicated: as often as possible, she dressed in boys’ clothing or androgynous fashion because girls’ clothes felt like a lie. She was okay with people thinking she was a boy, but it also made her uncomfortable.

She was a teenager before she learned that there were people like her, and she devoured information about Renée Richards and Christine Jorgensen.

During a summer job, she met a transgender man and was fascinated. Was it possible that she might someday do what they did? Thinking that scared her.

To help deal with her feelings, Shenher threw herself into sports and attended college in Calgary, then in Alberta, on scholarship, where she was a shining star on the basketball court. After sustaining several painful injuries, she began drinking heavily and was later diagnosed with depression, which she seemingly carried with her when she gave up a journalism career to move to Vancouver — first, to check out a transgender clinic, and then to apply for work with the Vancouver police force.

And life settled down. Shenher met a woman she loved, and they had a commitment ceremony. They started a family, though hard as she tried to tamp them down, those old familiar feelings of inadequacy and misery kept nagging at Shenher’s mind.

The idea of transitioning was terrifying.

But then, so was the idea of living as a woman for the rest of her life.

First thing you need to know: “This One Looks Like a Boy” is detailed, which can be both good and bad.

Author Lorimer Shenher begins with his birth and recounts his life story in plodding, almost year-by-year detail that often seems more tangential than not. Yes, that’s entertaining for a while but — fair warning — don’t be surprised if you eventually find yourself skimming paragraphs in search of more action.

And yet, this book is one of the better, more definitive explanations of the feelings of isolation that transgender individuals might experience, and one of the finer accounts of the do-I-or-don’t-I swings that sometimes linger without resolution.

Shenher’s words ache and readers are made clear on what it’s like to know-notknow how to decide, man or woman.

Read or not?

Ultimately, it’ll come down to your tolerance for story activity: “This One Looks Like a Boy” doesn’t have much of it. For the right reader, though, it’s still worth a look. : :

Author Lorimer Shenher.

(Photo Credit: Jennifer Fell)

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Aug. 23-Sept. 8, 2019

Being Gay Is A Gift From God Tell Trinity

BY Trinity | CONTRIBUTING WRITER Hello Trinity, Very simply, I’m gay! There it is! I said it.

Am I going to Hell!

Yours, Gay, Gainsville, FL Hello Gay, Congratulations on saying it. Life’s a bunch of baby steps with some big steps thrown in. Did you know that gay people are strategically placed on the earth for very specific reasons, i.e., controlling population, creating beauty, balancing out the over-male domination problem, creating homes to foster children, saving straights from killing each other and much more? Being gay really is a gift from God! As far as going to hell!

Seriously? Purgatory and condemnation are biblical marketing tools to keep the masses in fear of the church. You’ll never go to hell for loving or being loved. And remember, honey, “Homosexuality is found in over 450 animal species. Homophobia is found in only one.”

Big hugs, Trinity To Trinity, What makes you think that you’re equipped to give advice?

Curious, Madison, WI To Curious, Well, I have a Bachelors’ degree in communications, a hospital chaplaincy

certificate and a Masters of Divinity, which means I’ve spent years helping sick people, physically, spiritually and psychologically.

I also spent five years hitchhiking around the country getting into all sorts of adventures. I’ve been an escort, been raped and been held at gunpoint by the KKK for being Jewish. I also spent 30 years as a massage therapist massaging everyone from amputated marines to AIDS patients.

Then, I put together a 10-piece swing band, produced three albums and toured Europe in drag. And, I opened a gay ministry called WIG Ministries. Check it out. So, darling, I’ve

worked very hard getting prepared to give advice and, I’ve only just begun! (Oy! Work never ceases for those of us who are engaged in the helping professions. Check out my cartoon to see how I deal with it all.)

Kisses, Trinity Dear Trinity, I can’t help thinking that something’s wrong with me! Why are some of us cursed with being forever single, while everyone else gets to be in love or married?

Help, Forever Single, Raleigh, NC Dear Forever Single, If you look real closely at people who are in love or married, you’ll notice plenty of troubled moments hidden in between all those public displays of bliss. Being in a relationship truly is not any easier than being without that special someone to hug and hold and kiss and, and... forget what I just said! Single sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, but, being single does give you lots of time to develop yourself. When one equals two it suddenly becomes much harder to develop yourself. The grass is always greener, sweetie, so take this time of being single to work on yourself, ‘cause when love comes a knockin’ the personal time you once dreaded eventually becomes your best friend.

Big hugs! Trinity Dearest Trinity, I really appreciate your way of dealing with questions. You should think about teaching classes or giving lectures. But my question is, “If you had your own finishing school, what would you teach your students?”

Yours, Admirer, Boston, MA

Dearest Admirer, I’ve given lectures and taught classes, but finishing school? I love the idea. So, pumpkin, here’s:

Trinity’s Fastidious Finishing School Tips From Head To Toe

1. Walk with your head up high, not your nose. Beware of nose hair.

2. Going for a job interview? Hair up.

Going on a first date? Hair down.

3. A splash of cologne is a nice added touch. Smelling like a department store is way too much.

4. Mile for mile, good looks are second place, next to class, charm and style.

5. Going to buy milk? Dress down. Going on the town? Dress up.

6. A wanton tongue brings home sour fortune cookies.

7. If cleavage is meek, a pushup bra promises much more than a free drink.

8. Obviously it’s all about you, but saving that fact ‘til much later helps make one equal two.

9. Flats are fine when with husband and child, but heels turn heads for miles and miles.

10. I f you think that finishing school finishes, then you’re never finished with finishing school. : : With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com. Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

Aug. 23-Sept. 8, 2019

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events free admission. bit.ly/2YskCHj.

August 24 Freedom Jazz Series

Aug. 23-30 Architecture of the Immaterial LaCa Projects

1429 Bryant St., Charlotte Times Vary Latin American Contemporary Art (LaCa) Projects presents Architecture of the Immaterial, a collective exhibition featuring six prominent artists of Latin American origin.

Gallery times and ticket information can be found online. lacaprojects.com.

August 23-September 1 ‘A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder’

Raleigh Little Theatre 301 Pogue St., Raleigh Time Vary Raleigh Little Theatre presents “A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder,” a laugh-out-loud romp following a scheming heiress, a pinch murder and a war of succession. Tickets start at $27 and are available online. sforce.co/2OkZIGl.

August 23 MSM HIV Prevention Institute: #Zero

Brookland Banquet & Conference 1066 Sunset Blvd., West Columbia, S.C. Time Vary The Black Gay Men’s Research Group presents two days of educational sessions aimed at improving sexual health outcomes and influence healthy life choices of South Carolina’s same-genderloving men. Registration begins at $25 and is available online, as well as a scholarship application for

Freedom Park 1900 E. Boulevard, Charlotte 6-9 p.m.

Michael Manson and special guest Jazz Revolution bring a night of smooth jazz to Freedom Park. The event will also feature craft beer and local vendors. Admission is free. uptowncharlotteparks.com.

August 27 Meet the Candidates

Temple Beth El 5101 Providence Rd., Charlotte 5:30-8 p.m.

The Latin American Chamber of Commerce of Charlotte hosts a conversation with the candidates for the local 2019 elections. Attendees should have their questions and suggestions ready. bit.ly/33Kr10w.

September 1 CHÓCALA Album Release Party

The Neighborhood Theatre 511 E. 36th St., Charlotte 9 p.m.

Local Latin/jazz/psychedlia band CHÓCALA hosts a release party for their debut album. They will be joined by special guests Lincka and DJ Shaanti. Tickets are $10 online and $12 at the door. bit.ly/2ZeRz6G.

September 5-8 Yaisou Greek Festival

Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Cathedral 600 E Blvd., Charlotte 11 a.m.-6 p.m.

The Yiasou Greek Festival was founded in 1978 and has since become one of Charlotte’s premier cultural events. The festival will feature Hellenic cultural exhibits,

August-September 2019 Submit your events: editor@goqnotes.com

authentic Greek cuisine and homemade pastries, and live music and dancing. Admission is free. yiasoufestival.org

September 5-8 EarthSong Rising: Weaving Community Through Song

The Farm at Green Heron Pond 157 Browntown Rd., Leicester N.C. All Day EarthSong Rising is a celebration of song, nature and community.

The festival features a variety of song leaders of eclectic genres who will lead the attendees in collective singing. Tickets range from $175 for a day pass and $270 and are available online. Work trade passes are also available. earthsongrising.com

September 7 Miss Gay NC America

Newton-Conover Auditorium 60 W 6th St., Newton N.C. 7:30-10 p.m.

The Miss Gay North Carolina America pageant celebrates its 40th year with the theme “Coven: The Legacy Continues.” The event will be hosted by reigning Miss Gay America Andora Teetee. The winner will go on to compete at the national Miss Gay America pageant. Tickets range from $20$35 and are available online. bit.ly/2Zaz9Ih.

September 7 Charlotte Vegfest

The Park Expo and Conference Center 800 Briar Creek Rd., Charlotte 11 a.m.-4 p.m.

Experience delicious all-vegan offerings from some of Charlotte’s best restaurants! Admission is free. bit.ly/2P0qp3u.

September 8 Classic Black Cinema Series

Harvey B. Gantt Center for African-American Arts and Culture 551 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 2 p.m.

The Harvey B. Gannt Center for African-American Arts and Culture presents a screening of the classic film “Cotton Comes to Harlem.”

The screening is hosted and curated by Felix Curtis, former executive director of the San Francisco Black Film Festival. General admission to the Center, which includes the screening, is $9 and is available online. bit.ly/2ZaEB9N.

August 23-25: South Carolina Black Pride

South Carolina Black Gay Pride hosts a jam-packed weekend celebrating Columbia’s vibrant LGBTQ community, featuring welcome reception, the 14th Annual Cultural Arts & Wellness Festival and a Unity Block Party. Information about individual events can be found online. Multiple Locations, Columbia S.C. Times Vary. bit.ly/2OihVnR. available online. bit.ly/2MpPFxX.

September 15 Crape Myrtle Festival Drag Brunch Five Star Restaurant 511 W. Hargett St., Raleigh 11:30 a.m.

The Crape Myrtle Festival hosts an all-star drag brunch with Blair Williams, Bang Bang Ladesh, and Satine Allure. Tickets are $25 and include a $15 donation to Crepe Myrtle Festival and Brunch. crepemyrtlefestival.com

September 28 Blue Ridge Pride Festival

Pack Square Park 22 S. Pack Sq., Asheville 11 a.m.-7 p.m.

Asheville hosts the 11th Annual Blue Ridge Pride Festival, featuring local musicians, spoken word artists, and activists. blueridgepride.org.

September 28 Pride Durham

Duke University East Campus 712 Broad St., Durham 10 a.m.-10 p.m.

Celebrate Pride in the Triangle with a day-long festival at Duke’s campus! The Pride Parade begins at 11 a.m. and performances continue throughout the night. pridedurhamnc.org.

November 6 Elton John: Farewell Yellow Brick Road

Spectrum Center 333 E Trade St., Charlotte 8 p.m.

Musical legend Elton John brings his farewell tour to the Spectrum Center. Public ticket sales begin on October 5, 2018 at 10 a.m. Tickets start at $59.50 and are available online. bit.ly/2PdQrQK.

September 14 Tosco Music Party

September 19: Kacey Musgraves

Country music phenomenom Kacey Musgraves brings her unique music to Charlotte. Tickets start at $27.50 and are available online. Charlotte Metro Credit Union Amphitheatre, 1000 NC Music Factory Blvd., Charlotte. 8 p.m. livemu.sc/2ZcTPzn.

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Aug. 23-Sept. 8, 2019

Knight Theater 430 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m.

Tosco Music hosts a thrice-yearly music party with 15 eclectic music acts performing audience singalongs and interactivity.

Tickets start at $31.50 and are

September 15: Lizzo: ‘Cuz I Love You’ Too Tour

Superstar Lizzo brings her positive, energizing music to Charlotte. Tickets start at $39.50 and are available online. Charlotte Metro Credit Union Amphitheatre, 1000 NC Music Factory Blvd., Charlotte. 8 p.m. bit.ly/2Gnw7WC.

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REGULAR EVENTS

Finding Hope Amidst the Immigration Crisis

Charlotte LGBT Chamber

Regular business meetings, social events and other activities throughout the year. Days and times vary. info: clgbtcc.org.

Spiritual Reflections

BY Rev. W. Benjamin Boswell | Guest Contributor

PFLAG Concord/Kannapolis

Meets for monthly group support meetings, second Tuesday of each month, 7-9 p.m., Trinity United Church of Christ, 38 Church St. N., Concord. info: bit.ly/1pCFVBq.

PFLAG Gaston

Meets for monthly support meetings, third Thursday of each month, 7 p.m., St. Mark’s Episcopal Church, 258 W. Franklin Blvd., Gastonia. info: pflaggaston.org.

Prime Timers

Monthly meeting including dinner, speaker, games and more for gay men ages 21 and up, 5-7 p.m., Park Road Baptist Church Fellowship Hall, 3900 Park Rd., Charlotte. info: primetimersww.com/charlotte/.

Stonewall Sports

Regular team sports, meet-up, social and service events throughout the year. Days and times vary. info: stonewallcharlotte.leagueapps.com.

Trans Youth Group

Time Out Youth Center hosts weekly discussion groups for transgender youth ages 13-20 each Thursday, 4:306 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org.

Transcend Charlotte

Hosts twice monthly support groups for partners, friends and family of transgender and gender non-conforming adults ages 18 and older, second and fourth Sundays of each month, 6-7 p.m., Time Out Youth Center, 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte.

Prior to each meeting an anxiety support group is offered 5-6 p.m. info: transcendcharlotte.org.

UPDATES/ADDITIONS?

Do you have a regular and reoccurring community event you’d like listed? A listing to update? Email us at editor@ goqnotes.com.

Prayer and faith can help reconnect immigrant families separated by Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

A

s people of faith, we believe all human beings are made in the image of God, and every person has sacred dignity and worth, regardless of their citizenship. We believe families belong together and children belong in communities; not in cages. In our sacred scriptures God calls us to “love the foreigner and welcome the stranger” (Lev. 19), and Jesus even said, “whoever welcomes the stranger welcomes me.” (Matt. 25) In the summer of 2018, our church embarked on a pilgrimage to learn more about the immigration crisis facing our country. We followed the path of an immigrants detained by I.C.E., and our sojourn took us from Charlotte all the way to the infamous Stewart Detention Center in Lumpkin, Ga. It was a life changing experience.

At Stewart, we witnessed thousands of immigrants being forced to live in cramped spaces with no beds, limited bathrooms, unsanitary food and no health care. We learned that the private company that operates the prison, CoreCivic, receives $80 a day per inmate from the federal government. These inhumane conditions shocked our consciences, and we pledged to shine light on human rights violations at I.C.E. detention centers and testify to the truth of what is happening in our country.

When we returned from our pilgrimage, we learned about the story of a woman named Glori, who is a survivor of domestic violence and the primary caretaker for her eight-year-old granddaughter, Sherlyn. Glori came to the U.S. with Sherlyn to seek asylum from abusers in Mexico. They planned to live with Glori’s son, Eric (a U.S. citizen) in Huntersville, N.C., while pursuing their asylum case. Instead, ICE immediately separated Glori from her

granddaughter and locked Glori in a private detention facility in Bakersfield, Calif. for one year and two months.

On Monday, April 1, the clergy and members of Myers Park Baptist Church partnered with Faith in Public Life and Communidad Collectiva to raise awareness about Glori’s situation.

We gathered in our sanctuary and held a vigil and a press conference in support of Glori’s release. We asked the judge for a stay of deportation and miraculously, the judge said YES! In May, Glori was granted bail, and her case was moved to North Carolina. This action allowed her to be reunited with her granddaughter Sherlyn and the rest of her family. When she arrived in North Carolina, Glori travelled all the way from Huntersville, with her family, simply to say, “thank you” and offer gifts of gratitude that she had made for our congregation’s work in calling for her release.

In America today, caring for our immigrant neighbors is both an unpopular form of love and an uphill battle. The reality is that most people who are detained by I.C.E. will eventually die in custody or be deported back to the dangerous situation from which they fled. Release is rare, but there is hope. Miracles can happen, and we are grateful to have had the opportunity to make an impact in the life of one family. Glori’s faith and her story prove that even the smallest acts of love toward our immigrant neighbors can have a tremendous impact on the humanitarian crisis facing our nation. : : Rev. W. Benjamin Boswell is senior minister at Myers Park Baptist Church in Charlotte, N.C.

Aug. 23-Sept. 8, 2019

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Aug. 23-Sept. 8, 2019