QNotes, Aug. 28-Sept. 10, 2015

Aug. 28-Sept. 10 . 2015

qnotes

1

2

qnotes

Aug. 28-Sept. 10 . 2015

inside

Q

‘Lunch at the Piccadilly!

qnotes news & features

news.sets views. arts.

5 entertainment.

Charlotte Pride records 6 News Notes: Regional Briefs 8 News Notes: U.S./World Briefs 8 Church vandalised with slurs

a&e / life&style 10 12 13 13 14 16 18 19

Theatres roll out fall schedules Stand Up Sing Out concert ‘Lunch at the Piccadilly’ mounted Museums show culture, history Tell Trinity Young and Positive, Part 7 Q Events Calendar Dishing with Buff Faye

opinions & views 4 Spiritual Reflections 5 Staff Commentary

Production tackles aging issues page 13

more arts and entertainment features

Museums explore culture and history

Stand Up Sing Out battles bullying

Want to take a stroll down memory lane. Check out one of the museums to learn more. page 13

The Tyler Clementi Foundation and Time Out Youth will be the beneficiaries from funds raised. page 12

Aug. 28-Sept. 10 . 2015

qnotes

3

spiritual reflections

by Isai Efuru :: guest contributor

It’s a set up The circumstances in our life are never an accident. More than likely, the things that happen to you are part of a bigger plan to give you the life that you’ve always dreamed of. Another thing to consider is that the harder things are for you, the more God has for you to learn. Lessons are not curses, they are gifts in the establishment of true happiness. Your favor may not be wrapped in a way that you are comfortable with or can recognize, so it’s essential to treat every occurrence in your life as part of destiny.

In December 2014, I claimed financial stability and security for 2015. By January 2015, I was knee deep in debt from taxes, student loans and more. In addition, I decided that I wanted to have a car by the beginning of the next school year, as commuting on foot was taking a toll on my health. One day, during my planning period, my boss asked if I wanted to work for the summer camp. I quickly Photo Credit: said yes without thinking Garoth via about the assignment. Months dollarphotoclub.com later in July, as camp ended, I remembered that I signed up for the 12-month pay out for teachers. I was elated because I would have the extra money I needed to get my car by August.

As I celebrated that financial blessing, I discovered that I would receive a free rent credit for helping to facilitate my complex’s pool party in July. Yet, out of habit, I’d already paid the rent, which meant that my August rent would be free. This was another financial blessing, consid-

4

qnotes

Aug. 28-Sept. 10 . 2015

ering that my out-of-pocket tuition fees for seminary studies in the fall would round out to the same amount as the August rental payment. God is wonderful indeed!

Here I am, approaching the end of summer 2015 and marveling at the wondrous works of God. I stood in amazement as I realized that God had indeed set me up to receive what I prayed for. The phrase “be careful what you ask for” was really taking shape and elevating my faith. To make me smile and praise even more, God led me to ask a colleague to run my credit to help me tackle my debt. I worried that my credit would be too poor to qualify for a new home. It turned out that I was only a few points away from qualifying, which meant that I would be debt free within eight months. The financial stability that I claimed almost a year ago was on the way and the financial security was running a close second. As my debt was being cleared up, other financial opportunities fell into my lap each month. God showed me step by step that he is indeed, able.

Ephesians 3:20 states that God is able to do “exceedingly or abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.” You won’t be able to conceive how the set up comes about in your life; all you can do is throw up your hands and worship God in the overflow. When it comes to circumstances, occurrences, happenings, moments and encounters, know that the Holy Spirit is conducting an all-out orchestra of blessings just for you. Don’t fret over what it feels like in the human realm. Get up, expect the great and welcome the set up. : :

goqnotes.com/to/views

views

staff commentary

by Jim Yarbrough, Publisher :: publisher@goqnotes.com

Comer’s last issue This issue of qnotes is the last one in which Matt Comer serves as the editor. He resigned on Sunday, Aug. 23. Matt is responsible for a large part of its content, however, I would like to thank Lainey Mililen for her hard work in picking up the pieces and getting this issue to press. I value both of these two people more than anyone will ever know.

Lainey has severed our community through this paper for over 15 years and has the strongest work ethic of anyone I know. I thank you Lainey, for all your hard work and look forward to our next issue together and beyond.

Matt Comer is one of the most passionate people I know, he has strong opinions and will push them to the limits. He was the second longest serving editor in this newspapers almost 30 years. I wish you Matt, the best in the next chapter of your life. You are a great writer and I now how much you enjoy working in our community. I thank you for your years of hard work on this paper.

With this, I also have to talk a little about this papers journalistic integrity and my on personal integrity. As Matt noted in his personal blog, I would not let him run a piece he wrote about Charlotte Pride in this print issue and had him pull the same story off goqnotes .com. I suggested that his blog was a more appropriate forum for this piece.

The reason for my not running the piece is because of the lack of transparency around Matt’s involvement with Charlotte Pride and it’s conflict with his job as editor. Matt’s Charlotte Pride board position (Chair, Media and Marketing) was never revealed to me and was in opposition to our agreement made last year and in violation of Matt’s comment, in writing, that he was not on the Board of Directors and would only be a volunteer.

“Not on board No vote a volunteer w/media & marketing) — Matt Comer.

Approximately two-and-a-half years ago our staff talked about how we have grown journalistically and felt that to do our job well, we would have to back off our personal involvement in areas where our objectivity might be clouded. This became very clear when the LGBT center and Pride separated. There was no way it could be covered objectively by a Pride board member who was also the editor of the paper.

Not being transparent to me was inappropriate. This paper, therefore, not being transparent to you, our readers and advertisers, is simply not acceptable to me. I ask for your forgiveness in my letting this happen and pledge to you that this paper will strive to provide content clear and free of any conflict of interest and with complete transparency going forward.

Thank you.

qnotes connect Aug. 28-Sept. 10, 2015 Vol 30 No 09

arts. entertainment. news. views. goqnotes.com twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue

Matt Comer, Iasi Efuru, Buff Faye, Norena Gutierrez, Trevion Gutierrez, Lainey Millen, Jeff Taylor, Trinity

Charlotte Pride fest hits record Parade nets nearly 3,000 participants

by Lainey Millen :: lainey@goqnotes.com

CHARLOTTE — Charlotte Pride Festival and Parade, held from Aug. 15-16, topped their previous records in both attendance and alcohol sales, according to a press release dispatched from the organization.

An estimated 115,000-120,000 people were in attendance based upon increased sales of alcoholic beverages which were up by 20 percent over last year.

On Saturday, Estelle performed, even in light of rain that hit the festival in the early evening. Billy Gilman hit the stage on Sunday and rocked it out as one of the last acts to close out the festival.

According to Pride resources, close to 3,000 people marched in the Charlotte Pride Parade on Aug. 16.

Q

Other events occurring during the lead-up week and afterward were after parties, interfaith services, takeover at the host hotel, and more.

Organizers are anxious to get visitor feedback and ask that attendees take a survey to share their thoughts. Participants will be entered into a drawing for various prizes, including $100 gift cards and a pair of VIP tickets to a taping of “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” in Hollywood and more.

Visit surveymonkey.com/r/cltpride15 to provide opinions. : : info: charlottepride.org.

front page

Graphic Design Lainey Millen Photography: Matthew Murphy Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBT and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBT life and social justice issues.

Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Editor: Matt Comer, x202 editor@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen, x205 production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.

All photos courtesy of Create-ster.

Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2015 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

charlotteobserver.com/1166/ a local news partner of The Charlotte Observer

upcoming issues: 09.11.15: QList/NC Pride Preview Advertising Space Deadline: Sept. 2 09.25.15: Fall & Winter Fashion/ Mental Health & Substance Abuse Advertising Space Deadline: Sept. 16

Aug. 28-Sept. 10 . 2015

qnotes

5

news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen & Matt Comer

New religious initiative begins CHARLOTTE — The Do No Religious Harm campaign was launched on July 24 which asks the community and faith leaders to pledge to do no harm through the interpretation of holy text or other religious writings, organizers shared.

The campaign is a project of The Freedom Center for Social Justice.

Included in this initiative are harm caused on the basis of sexual orientation, gender expression, race or faith tradition. They are also asking the community to uphold the Equal Protection Under the Law by not obstructing the rights of others.

They currently have over 1,000 signatures.

Organizers want to bring both local and national attention to the effort, they said in a release.

Ways in which one can participate are to post a link to the Do No Harm website and share with one’s organization’s followers. Additionally, share information with clergy, lay people and other members of the community who no longer want to see religion used as a weapon.

Lastly, sign the pledge and encourage others to do the same. Visit the website to learn more. info: donoharmpledge.org.

— L.M.

Charlotte Org set to make splash

CHARLOTTE — Campus Pride will hold a “Make a Splash” pool party and VIP fundraiser at the home of Ben Collins and Scotty Vanhoozer, 2700 Belevedere Ave., on Aug. 30, 1:30 p.m.

DJ Bret Law will be the featured musicologist who will keep the event lively.

Presenting sponsor is Hearts Beat as One, with Silverfly and Smirnoff serving as poolside sponsors.

Contribution levels are $50/advance and $35/ under 35 and student. RSVP to campuspride.org/ donate with denotations for “Pool Party.” info: campuspride.org.

— L.M.

Anniversary celebrated

CHARLOTTE — Sacred Souls Community Church, 2127 Eastway Dr., will celebrate its first anniversary on Aug. 30.

North Carolina NAACP President and civil rights leader Rev. Dr. William Barber II will be the guest speaker.

Featured will be the Sacred Souls Community Church Choir and Carolinas Pride Theatre Ensemble.

A free fellowship brunch will take place at 11 a.m., with worship services following at 1 p.m.

Founding pastor is Bishop Tonyia M. Rawls. info: sacredsoulschurch.org.

— L.M.

Royals hit the field

CHARLOTTE — The Charlotte Royals began their fall season on Aug. 22 with a Rugby 101 informational session.

Upcoming matches are: Sept. 12, DC Scandals (away); Sept 25-27, Queen City Crown Tournament, Rugby Athletic Center, three-day inaugural event for both IGR and local North Carolina teams; Meet & Greet at Sidelines Bar, Third Half at The Bar at 316, Scruff after-party at The Visulite Theatre and Sunday brunch; Oct. 10, Clayton Bootleggers, 1 p.m., Tuckaseegee Park, 4820 Tuckaseegee Rd.; Oct. 31, ATL Ruck-

6

qnotes

genderqueer activist, writer and part-time fashion icon has been featured in media such as MSNBC and more.

Entertainment will be provided by Lara Americo. Americo is a trans artist, photographer and musician.

Chasity Scott serves as host. Wilmington, N.C., theatergoers enjoy listening to her perform, alto voice and all.

The event objective is to encourage positive imaging, through showcasing, empowering and celebrating transgender/non-conforming persons. Admission and food is free. info: facebook.com/events/812710915508810/.

— L.M.

Pride seeks assistance

a-Buck Tournament (away); Nov. 7, Charleston Blockade (away); Nov. 21, Guilford College, 1 p.m., Tuckaseegee Park, 4820 Tuckaseegee Rd. info: charlotteroyalsrugby.com. queencitycrown.com.

— L.M.

WINSTON-SALEM — Pride WinstonSalem has put out a call for volunteers to assist organizers with a plethora of activities for its upcoming celebration to be held on Oct. 17 in .

Committee areas that need staffing are: marketing and communications; parade; and Rainbow Run 5K. Day-long volunteers are needed for race day on Oct. 3 and for the parade and festival area on Oct. 17.

Other areas of interest include planning and operations; sponsorship and fundraising; vendor; pre-pride events; and more.

Interested parties should use Marketing, Parade or 5K in the subject line.

Signup for volunteers is available online.

Check the website for complete festival information, as well as vendor, food truck and other applications. Sponsorships are still available as well. info: pridews.org.

— L.M.

Triad

Triangle

Church celebrates decade plus

Cabaret slated for SAGE

WINSTON-SALEM — Metropolitan Community Church of Winston-Salem, 4105 Patsy Dr., is celebrating their 21st anniversary from Sept. 11-13.

On Sept. 11, the church is hosting a family fun night, complete with board games, ice cream and popcorn.

The next day, Sept. 12, a Singspiration with other congregations will take place. Enjoy music, fellowship and a spaghetti dinner. The dinner is $6 per person which includes spaghetti, salad, bread, dessert and beverage.

On Sept. 13, Rev. Pressley Sutherland, associate director of the Office of Church Life and Health at the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches will deliver a message to congregants during worship services. A potluck follows.

The congregation is engaging in some special fundraising efforts over the next couple of months.

A 50/50 auction will kick off on the first Sunday in September and will continue until the congregational meeting in October. One does not have to be a member of the church to purchase tickets.

Additionally, a jar will be placed in the vestibule of the church in order for attendees to have the opportunity to drop their change into it and watch its growth. info: mccws.org.

— L.M.

Trans group sets event date

GREENSBORO — NC Trans Pride in Action will present their NC Trans Pride 2015 celebration on Sept. 20, 12-6 p.m., at Caldcleugh Multicultural Arts Center, 1700 Orchard St. The second annual celebration brings in Jacob Tobia as its keynote speaker. The

Aug. 28-Sept. 10 . 2015

RALEIGH — On Sept. 24, 7:30 p.m., musician Pam Saulsby will perform at an evening cabaret at for SAGE Raleigh at All Saints Chapel, 110 S. East St. Saulsby is a freelance columnist, works in media and serves as a lecturer at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

Friends and allies are invited to join SAGE Raleigh for the event that also features an array of desserts, champagne and soft drinks.

A dance floor will welcome those who wish to take a twirl with a special someone or simply a friend.

Tickets are $20/advance until Sept. 21 and $25/afterward and are available online. Space is limited, so make purchases early.

Ample free parking is available nearby.

In other news, SAGE Raleigh will host a Labor Day cookout on Sept. 7, 2 p.m., at the center, 324 S. Harrington St., for LGBT seniors, family, friends and allies.

Paper goods will be supplied and a grillmaster will be on hand to handle barbecue duties. The grill will be fired up at 4 p.m. Everyone is requested to bring a dish to share.

Indoor and outdoor games will be provided.

Reservations are required by Sept. 4 in order for organizers to have a head count for meat and bun purchases. Visit the website for instructions. info: lgbtcenterofraleigh.com.

— L.M.

Western Catholics host retreat

MAGGIE VALLEY — The Diocesan Ministry for Gay & Lesbian Catholics will host its The Cross & Rainbow annual retreat from Oct. 9-11

at Living Waters Catholic Reflection Center, 103 Living Waters Ln. Fr. Carl Del Giudice of Our Lady of Consolation Catholic Church, Charlotte, N.C., will serve as retreat leader.

Cost is $150 for the weekend. Registration is required via email at dmfglc@gmail.com.

In other news, the organization is holding mass and dinners over the coming months at various locations around Western Carolina.

Those are: Sept. 26, 5:30 p.m., St. Eugene Catholic Church, 72 Culvern St., Asheville, N.C., with dinner at a local restaurant following the mass (contact Tommy at 828-337-0318 for more information.); Nov. 14, 5 p.m., Our Lady of Consolation Catholic Church, 2301 Statesville Ave., Charlotte, N.C.; Feb. 20, 5 p.m., St. Peter’s Catholic Church, 507 S. Tryon St., Charlotte, N.C.; and May 21, 5 p.m., Queen of the Apostles, 503 N. Main St., Belmont, N.C. info: 980-218-9191.

— L.M.

Youth center fundraiser slated

ASHEVILLE — Jesus People Church of Asheville, 278 Haywood Rd., is holding its “Night of Joy” fundraiser on Oct. 17, 7 p.m., at Edna’s of Asheville, 870 Merrimon Ave., to help create an LGBT youth housing and community complex.

The inclusive and affirming congregation began fundraising efforts approximately a year ago for one of its ministries in order to establish its Joy Center Asheville. The center will be a place where LGBT youth can be housed in a very well-designed, peaceful and safe place where they will be supported by in-house social services and lifeskills programs. The location will also have a community complex.

Despite the growing awareness of LGBT youth homelessness in this region, there are still no local facilities to house and help these youth to become self-sustainable, the church shared.

“We believe that the Joy Center, Asheville will become a regional beacon of hope. The issue of LGBT homelessness in this region is worse than in many others, due to the fact that many young people are ejected from their homes by their parents because of misguided religious beliefs,” said Pastor Tom Cash.

Pastor Francisco Gonzalez, a ministry team member, shared, “Many times, when I am out listening to these kids’ stories on the streets and how they are rejected by their families, it becomes apparent that many are depressed and contemplating suicide. This just simply cannot continue.”

Tickets for the event are $65 and are available online at joycenter.eventbrite.com.

Admission includes heavy appetizers, drinks, entertainment and a high-end silent auction.

Contributions to the church are tax-deductible. info: joycenterasheville.org.

— L.M. and releases

Youth org forming

BOONE — The Lauren Jaquays High Country LGBTQ Alliance is in the process of forming with hopes to begin this fall to serve Watauga, Ashe, Avery, Wilkes, Yancey, Mitchell and Alleghany counties.

The organization began as High Country LGBTQ Alliance, but has recently changed to memorialize Jaquays who died in July and was committed to equality.

Organizers are working on establishing their non-profit status. They have established their mission are committed to providing an accepting and support for LGBT youth, as well as bringing awareness to the issues that these

goqnotes.com/to/news

youth incur. Promotion of a happy and healthy environment is crucial so that youth can thrive in an environment that enriches self image, promotes confidence to live peacefully in the community, while feeling secure in their schools.

Areas that organizers want to address are: educational staff training on welcoming school policies; development of strong LGBT student leaders; creation of a resource list of LGBTfriendly providers; proving outreach programming, social events and support; and building a youth center.

LGBT and allied youth ages 12 to 18 years old are welcome. The organization wants to provide a resource and network for those who encounter bullying at school, are contemplating suicide or face expulsion from their homes.

They recently held a Back 2 School Festival at Watauga High School to introduce themselves to the community.

Contributions will begin to be accepted in the fall once the 501c3 is established. However, in the meantime, monies can be sent to the Lauren Jaquays Memorial Fund, P.O. Box 1837, Boone, NC 28607. Funds will be diverted to the organization. info: highcountrylgbtqyouthalliance.org.

— L.M.

South Carolina Rights campaign partnership forged

SPARTANBURG — On Sept. 3, 7 p.m., at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Spartanburg, 210 Henry Pl., Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays Spartanburg welcomes SC Equality as it brings its Know Your Rights initiative presentation to the Upstate.

SC Equality says that as both politics and attitudes continue to evolve around the state and country, the campaign brings up-to-date information about what one can do to protect oneself and loved ones. Topics covered are: relationship recognition and protection; nondiscrimination policies; safe and just schools; transgender inclusion; and hate crime and violence prevention.

PFLAG Spartanburg meeting are a safe place to meet and confidential. info: scequality.org/knowyourrights. pflagupstatesc.org/spartanburg.htm.

— L.M.

Benefit slated for ASO

SPARTANBURG — Jam for Care will be held on Oct. 13, 6 p.m., at Wild Wing Cafe, 109 W Main St. The event is a benefit to support Piedmont Care Inc. and its HIV prevention programs.

Performers schedule to appear are Teresa DeGeer, Scott Williams, Melinda Moretz, Joe Boscia, Ray Dunleavy, Matt Roper, David Rice, Henry Stein and Catherine and Dirk Schlingmann.

Sponsorships are available.

Tickets are $35 and are available in advance or at the door. info: piedmontcare.org. 864-582-7773.

— L.M.

Women’s retreat upcoming

CLEVELAND — The Southeast Women’s Rhythm Retreat will be held from Sept. 25-27 at YMCA Camp Greenville, 4399 YMCA Camp Rd. The event provides an opportunity for women of all ages, sizes, colors and back-

grounds to come together in a celebration of rhythm and sisterhood. Activities such as drumming, dancing and singing will lead participants through a transformational experience. The mountain views, lakes, hiking trails and forested surroundings of Camp Greenville will also offer participants the opportunity to foster a deeper relationship with and appreciation for the beauty of nature.

Current activities planned for the retreat include African drumming and dance, Shekere playing, Taiko drumming, yoga, belly dancing and more.

Registration is required and is available online. info: happybeatdrumming.com/southeastwomens-rhythm-retreat.

— L.M.

Campus Scene Top campus list released

CHARLOTTE — Campus Pride has announced that its 2015 Top 25 LGBTQ-Friendly Colleges & Universities has been released.

The initiative highlights post-secondary school’s ranking with relation to policy, programs and practice in higher education.

Over the past seven years, Campus Pride has relied on its Campus Pride Index to disseminate information to prospective students to use as a resource when selecting their upper educational experience. The index is a national benchmarking tool which self-assesses LGBTfriendly policies and more and is provided free of charge online. It is based on research conducted for and by LGBT experts in the field

news

of higher education. Each campus updates their index annually and uses the Campus Pride benchmarking tool to make improvements for LGBT life on campus.

Criteria for making the Top 25 list includes those institution who have scored the highest percentages in the LGBT-friendly benchmarks.

The listing this year includes colleges with student populations from 1,600 to over 50,000 from the public and private schools’ sector.

Elon University in the Triad was the only school in the Carolinas to achieve this distinction.

“As time goes on, the needs of LGBTQ college and university students change,” said Shane Windmeyer, executive director of Campus Pride and creator of the Campus Pride Index.

“Therefore, we have updated our Campus Pride Index assessment to reflect that, with higher standards for campuses and a higher focus on trans and gender non-conforming students.”

He added that there was a lot to learn from the Top 25 campuses. Many of these campuses are specifically addressing recruitment and academic retention efforts for LGBT students, as well as concerns for transgender student safety, as reflected by their willingness to be the first campuses to take the updated assessment.

In other news, Campus Pride has recently partnered with Noodle, an educational website that assists parents and students in making better decisions about learning. info: campuspride.org.

— L.M. Have news or other information? Send your press releases and updates for inclusion in our News Notes: editor@goqnotes.com.

Aug. 28-Sept. 10 . 2015

qnotes

7

goqnotes.com/to/news

news

Charlotte church vandalized with anti-gay slurs Pastor seeks to keep focus on care for people, not repairable building

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com CHARLOTTE, N.C. — A local church long known for its LGBT inclusion was vandalized with anti-gay slurs overnight on Aug. 19. The spray-painted graffiti, on the church’s doors and sign, were discovered by staff on Aug. 20.

Among the damage at Wedgewood Church in Charlotte’s Madison Park neighborhood were two lines marking out the

Wedgewood Church property was vandalised with spray paint.

Photo Credit: Chris Ayers

words “LGBT Equality” on the church sign’s marque. Additionally, vandals spray-painted the words “Fags are pedos” across the church’s front doors.

Pastor Chris Ayers was taken aback when he saw the sign and doors.

“Heart-piercing was the thing that came to my mind,” Ayers told qnotes on the afternoon of Aug. 20. “I really didn’t think about the church. I thought about the LGBT friends that I have. As a pastor, you hear all of these horrible stories for all these years. Everything is put in the context of these personal rejections that I know people have faced and this is just one more.”

Ayers said the church sign was able to be cleaned, for the most part. A few smudges remained and the glass might have to be replaced. The doors will need to be repainted.

“We tried cleaning the doors. It didn’t put a dent in it,” Ayers said.

The church held a “Paint the Doors” gathering, he said, allowing church members to come together to process their reactions to the vandalism.

This is the second time the church has faced anti-gay vandalism. Seven years ago, someone broke into the church’s marque and rearranged the letters to read “A lesbo church.”

With this second vandalism, Ayers said the church is “seriously considering” security cameras.

Ayers doesn’t know why the vandals struck when they did. The “LGBT Equality” sign had been out front for a month.

He didn’t want to speculate but guessed inflamed emotions could have come as a result of increased coverage on LGBT

news notes: u.s./world.

Ashley Madison leak puts gay lives at risk

issues locally, especially after the Aug. 15-16 Charlotte Pride Festival and Parade.

“Pride was off the charts wonderful and it got such great coverage,” Ayers said.

“I could very well see somebody wanting to strike out against that.”

Ultimately, Ayers says the vandalism shouldn’t overshadow the people he and his church serve, and that’s where he wants to keep his focus. Doors and glass can be repaired Church doors were repainted by volor replaced, he said. unteers in an LGBT rainbow pattern.

And he’s keeping his Photo Credit: Matt Comer eye on the positive movement the LGBT community has seen in recent months and years.

“The good news is there’s been such a good news over the past year. This is serious, but it seems like a bump in the road,” Ayers said. “The momentum is so good, this is just a bump in the road, just one day in a long journey.” : :

LGBT groups disinvited during pope’s world meeting

The New Civil Rights Movement reports that LGBT groups who thought they’d be invited to the World Meeting on Families with Pope Francis in Philadelphia have subsequently been turned away.

St. John the Evangelist Church in downtown Philadelphia had initially been receptive to the idea of letting two advocacy groups for LGBT Catholics — New Ways Ministry and Equally Blessed — use the facilities to hold events, but both groups have suddenly been disinvited.

The pastor of St. John’s, Father John Daya, cancelled the events after receiving a phone call from the archdiocese — right on the heels of Philadelphia Archbishop Charles Chaput announcing gay equality advocates couldn’t be a part of the World Meeting.

Speaking to The Washington Post, Ken Gavin, a spokesperson for the Archdiocese, said: “It’s not about the individuals. It’s about the content of the programming and a consistent ethic regarding the meaning and purpose of human sexuality in the Catholic tradition.”

Read more via The New Civil Rights Movement at bit.ly/1E8w0sS and The Washington Post at wapo.st/1Eah6Tq. — LGBTQ Nation (lgbtqnation.com), a qnotes media partner

British men increasingly open to bisexuality

The Independent reports that some gay users of the Ashley Madison website are now fearing for their lives, since the hack exposes the names and locations of users living in countries where homosexuality is illegal and, in some cases, punishable by death.

Ashley Madison owns gay domains like ManCrunch and We Know Down Low, and members of both clubs are among the 37 million account holders whose sexual preferences have now been made public by the Aug. 18 hack.

Homosexuality is still illegal in roughly 75 countries, including several states in the Middle East, Africa, Southeast Asia, and most of the Caribbean. Revealing sensitive information about the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people living in these regions therefore puts their lives at risk.

Over 50 accounts have been found from Qatar, where homosexual relations can land you five years in prison, and 1,500 accounts are from Turkey — where homosexuality can ban you from military service.

Read more via The Independent at ind.pn/1fvN5RZ. — LGBTQ Nation (lgbtqnation.com), a qnotes media partner

8

qnotes

Aug. 28-Sept. 10 . 2015

The Independent reports that over 49 percent of British men between the ages of 18-24 identity as something other than “100 percent heterosexual” when asked to place themselves on Alfred Kinsey’s sexuality scale.

A recent survey by YouGov interviewed 1,632 people ranging from 18 years to 60+ years in age. Of that number, younger people reported being the most sexually fluid. Less than half of 18-to-24-year-olds said they consider themselves completely straight, compared to 43 percent who said they are bisexual.

Meanwhile, 89 percent of respondents over 60 said they are either completely straight or completely gay.

Researchers also found that almost a quarter of respondents between 18 and 39 years of age reported having had at least one homosexual experience, compared to just nine percent of those over the age of 60.

Interestingly, more men reported having had a gay experience than women. One fifth of males, compared to 14 percent of females, said they had partaken in a sexual experience with someone of their same sex.

“More than anything,” said Will Dahlgreen, a data journalist at YouGov, “it indicates an increasingly open minded approach to sexuality.”

Read more at The Independent at ind.pn/1NqU3GE. — LGBTQ Nation (lgbtqnation.com), a qnotes media partner

QUICK HITS —————————————————————————————— Yishai Schlissel, the knife-wielding attacker Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott is at Jerusalem Pride who killed one participant, facing backlash over his government’s stance has been ruled fit to stand trial. on marriage equality. more: bit.ly/1JqgitN more: bit.ly/1LppzEs

Aug. 28-Sept. 10 . 2015

qnotes

9

FALL A&E GUIDE

Community theatre rounds out fall stage schedule ‘Kinky Boots’ returns for December engagement after overwhelming demand last spring

I

f there’s only one thing you know’s a certainty in Charlotte, it’s that we have some great professional theatre. From community theatre associations to traveling Broadway and national tours, the Queen City’s stages are always buzzing with the best talent available. This fall and winter, take in the sights and sounds of some of these great plays and musicals heading your way soon.

‘The Patron Saint of Losing Sleep’ Sept. 9-26 Actor’s Theatre of Charlotte Ada, a call center representative, can’t sleep. When she receives a call at her job from a woman in need, she takes a trip to try and help her. Unfortunately, things go wrong…terribly wrong. Desperate to cure her insomnia, Ada must confront her regrets, past and present, if she’s ever going to sleep again. atcharlotte.org.

‘The Money Shot’ Sept. 10-19 Queen City Theatre Company Written by Neil Labute and fresh of its Off-Broadway run, this QCTC seasonal opener brings sexy, daring and darkly hilarious comedy like you’e never seen before. Karen and Steve are glamorous movie stars with one thing in common: desperation.

After years of not landing a hit, the tempting offer by a hot-shot European director will for sure bring them back to the top. Karen, her partner Bev, Steve and his aspiring actress wife Missy meet in order to make an important decision: how far will they let themselves go to keep from slipping further down the Hollywood food chain? queencitytheatre.com.

‘La Cage Aux Folles’ Sept. 11-27 Theatre Charlotte Set in a glitzy drag club on the French Riviera, a middleaged gay couple agree to hide their relationship when their son returns home with his fiancee’s ultra-conservative parents. Feathers get ruffled and households upended in a poignant tale of one family’s struggle to stay together, stay fabulous and above all else, stay true to themselves. theatrecharlotte.org.

‘Bad Jews’ Oct. 28-Nov. 14 Actor’s Theatre of Charlotte Daphna Feygenbaum is a “Real Jew” with an Israeli boyfriend. When her cousin Liam brings home his shiksa girlfriend Melody and declares ownership of their grandfather’s Chai necklace, a vicious and hilarious brawl over family, faith and legacy ensues. This critically acclaimed comedy asks questions about what you choose to believe, when you’re chosen. atcharlotte.org.

‘Dracula’ Oct. 30-Nov. 15 Theatre Charlotte This adaptation brings the suspense and seduction of Bram Stoker’s classic novel to the stage. As Count Dracula begins to exert his will upon the residents of London, they try to piece together the clues of his appearances in a valiant attempt to save themselves from a hideous fate. Rich with both humor and horror, this play paints a wickedly theatrical picture of Stoker’s famous vampire. theatrecharlotte.org’ ‘Birds of a Feather’ Nov. 5-14 Queen City Theatre Company Telling the story of the gay-themed children’s book “And Tango Makes

10

qnotes

Aug. 28-Sept. 10 . 2015

see next page u

goqnotes.com/to/arts

a&e

Three,” based on the true story about the two gay penguins that adopted another one in Central Park.

The book was banned from the school system and libraries here in Charlotte, which gets a mention in the play. queencitytheatre.com.

Photo Credit: National tour photo by Matthew Murphy.

‘Kinky Boots’ Dec. 29-Jan. 3 Blumenthal Performing Arts Due to overwhelming demand during its March run in Charlotte, “Kinky Boots” makes its return to the Queen City. This exhilarating Broadway musical will lift your spirits to new high-heeled heights!

Winner of six Tony Awards including Best Musical, this inspirational story follows a struggling shoe factory owner who works to turn his business around with help from Lola, a fabulous entertainer in need of some sturdy stilettos. Together, this unlikely pair finds that they have more in common than they ever dreamed possible…proving that when you change your mind about someone, you can change your whole world. Inspired by a true story, “Kinky Boots” features a joyous, Tony-winning score by Cyndi Lauper, direction and Tony-winning choreography by Jerry Mitchell and a hilarious, uplifting book by four-time Tony winner Harvey Fierstein. blumenthalarts.org.

‘The Importance of Being Earnest’ Jan. 22-Feb. 7 Theatre Charlotte Two bachelor friends lead double lives to court the attentions of the exquisitely desirable Gwendolyn Fairfax and Cecily Cardew. The gallants must then grapple with the riotous consequences of their deceptions, as well as with the formidable Lady Bracknell. theatrecharlotte.org.

— Listings compiled by qnotes staff from promotional materials

‘Father Comes Home from the Wars’ Feb. 24-March 12 Actor’s Theatre of Charlotte Set during the Civil War, this explosively powerful new drama by Pulitzer Prize-winner Suzan-Lori Parks follows a slave, Hero, from West Texas to the Confederate battlefield. Inspired in part by the stories and scope of Greek tragedy, this trilogy examines the mess of war and the cost of freedom. atcharlotte.org.

Aug. 28-Sept. 10 . 2015

qnotes

11

Voices join together for anti-bullying concert Music honors Tyler Clementi

by Lainey Millen :: lainey@goqnotes.com

On Sept. 3 at 7:30 p.m., 120 vocalists of Sound About will raise their voices passionately to bring about awareness of bullying and to help stem the tide of abuse during the Stand Up, Sing Out: A Concert to Stop Bullying.

The program will be held at Central Piedmont Community College, Halton Theatre, 1206 Elizabeth Ave. Joining them will be Ann Hampton Callaway as they showcase “Tyler’s Suite,” a tribute to the life of Tyler Clementi whose

12

qnotes

Aug. 28-Sept. 10 . 2015

life was claimed by cyber-bullying. In addition to the suite, the program features classic jazz standards and pop tunes.

Kathryn Mahan serves as director and Ann Hooper is the producer of the affair.

Clementi’s family has spearheaded the effort to bring about awareness of the issue and to end the destructive behavior.

Attendees will be able to meet Tyler Clementi’s family at the event.

Proceeds will benefit the Tyler Clementi Foundation’s Day 1 campaign (day1campaign.com) and Time Out Youth School Outreach Program (timeoutyouth.org).

Tickets are $25 and are available at cpcc.tix.edu. : :

goqnotes.com/to/arts

a&e

FALL A&E GUIDE

‘Lunch at the Piccadilly’ makes its Charlotte debut ‘Poignant and unpredictable’ play tackles concepts of aging, support and community

by Jeff Taylor :: qnotes contributor

F

inding a supportive and healthy community in which to flourish is a fundamental human concern for people of all stripes at every age. Vulnerable segments of society are often required to work harder to find and maintain that sense of stability.

The musical comedy “Lunch at the Piccadilly” explores these themes with the residents of a nursing home who grow increasingly concerned with the changes they see occurring when it is sold to a local college. The play makes its Charlotte debut Sept.

17 at the Booth Playhouse.

It was written by two North Carolinians, author Clyde Edgerton and composer Mike Craver, and is based on Edgerton’s best-selling novel of the same name. Edgerton’s work was inspired by his experience putting his favorite aunt into a nursing home and regularly visiting and caring for her.

The play is directed by Steve Umberger, founder and artistic director of Charlotte Repertory Theatre, in partnership with local retirement community Aldersgate.

“We’ve had a great time developing ‘Lunch at the Piccadilly’ all over the state, and it’s time for Charlotte to see it,” Umberger says. “It’s hilarious and poignant and unpredictable, all at the same time… (It has) been terrific working with Clyde and Mike on the script, which will be revised to include plenty of new material never seen before. And I’m also really looking forward to being back in the Booth Playhouse after being away for 10 years.

It’s one of my favorite theaters.”

A story centered around a group of senior citizens on a nursing home porch may not at first blush seem like a thrilling entertainment choice for all audiences. Don’t be so quick to judge. Lying at the center of the play, says Umberger, are concepts of vitality, revolution and a sense of rebellion against being ignored and brushed aside by society. It may be a play about senior citizens, but they are not your typical senior citizens, and this is not the kind of story we are used to hearing about the elderly.

The emotional element of getting older is “There’s always a story also universal. behind the story. Like, ‘What The fear of aging, of seeming irrelevant is this really about?’ And that to a culture that has in recent decades is what it’s really about,” become obsessed with youth culture, and to Umberger says. “It’s about a large extent with flash over substance, is a having ownership, real owncommon concern. ership, in your life, and conUmberger remembers first seeing children trol over your life, investment and teenagers going in to see “Lunch at the in your life, and fun in your Piccadilly” and wondering about how they life. And that’s something that would react to the show. He says he was someeveryone responds to.” what surprised at how much they enjoyed it.

He also attributes some “I think it’s because they didn’t really of the play’s success with it expect to see their grandparents ‘boogeying.’ coming along at the right time, That’s not what’s typically represented. So it’s speaking to issues that are of fun for them to see it,” he says. increasing importance and While the play is not written from the visibility as the baby boomLGBT perspective, or with LGBT issues ers reach retirement age and directly in mind, the concepts align more than beyond, and as people are one might expect. The struggle for identity, living longer than ever. community, and the ability to see yourself as “Everybody in some way a valuable member of society well into your is dealing with it,” Umberger graying years is something that perhaps resomaintains. “It’s really about nates particularly strongly for LGBT people. acknowledging the number Works like “Lunch at the Piccadilly” ask of baby boomers (who are Patty Cucco, Rebecca Koon and Mike Craver star in aging), and (other) people the Charlotte production of “Lunch at the Piccadilly.” us to connect with something deeper and more fundamentally human, while at the same who are aging; caregivers, Photo Credit: Donna Bise. time providing plenty of laughs. It is a delicate care-getters, Medicare, balance not easily achieved.

Medicaid — all these things that are in the news daily. More As Umberger says, “Farce only works if you’re really deadly and more people are concerned with it, (people are saying serious about it. You really have to find that frequency.” that) there need to be more solutions; living solutions, care “Lunch at the Piccadilly” runs through Oct. 4. Tickets range solutions, all of that (is) becoming quite an issue. And the 90from $10 to $42. Learn more and purchase tickets online at plus crowd is the fastest growing segment of the population lunchatthepiccadilly.com. : : these days.”

History, culture on deck at area museums Dr. Cornel West to speak in Charlotte on Sept. 17

C

harlotte’s iconic galleries and museums bring a slew of artistic and edifying exhibits and events this fall. Check out these top picks below.

Levine Museum of the New South 200 E. 7th St., Charlotte museumofthenewsouth.org.

Giving Back: The Soul of Philanthropy Reframed and Exhibited, Pop-Up, Abridged Edition Sept. 5, 2015-Feb. 28, 2016 Groundbreaking in focus and depth, “Giving Back: The Soul of Philanthropy Reframed and Exhibited” presents powerful stories of generosity among Americans of African descent. ¡NUEVOlution! Latinos and the New South Sept. 27, 2015-Oct. 30, 2016 In September 2015, Levine Museum of the New South launches a major exhibit of national significance. ¡NUEVOlution!

Latinos and the New South will

The Nuevo South in Gainesville, Ga., where a diner now mixes Mexican favorites with American fare.

Photo Credit: Rodrigo Dorfman.

explore the surprising ways that Latinos are shaping the South and the South is shaping Latinos.

AfriCOBRA members who joined in 1968 and work by current members after the death of Jeff Donaldson.

Harvey B. Gantt Center for African-American Arts + Culture 551 S. Tryon St., Charlotte ganttcenter.org.

Discovery Place 301 N. Tryon St., Charlotte discoveryplace.org.

Gantt Symposium with Dr. Cornel West Sept. 17, 7 p.m.

The Gantt Center hostes Dr. Cornel West, an expert voice on freedom fighting traditions and torchbearer of “MLK’s legacy of telling the treaty and bearing witness to love and justice.” Tickets are $10-$25 at the museum’s website.

Charlotte Collects Elizabeth Catlett: A Centennial Celebration Continues through Dec. 31, 2015 This exhibition includes examples of Elizabeth Catlett’s two- and three-dimensional works, as well as photographs of Catlett throughout her life.

AfriCOBRA Now: An Aesthetic Reflection Continues through Dec. 31, 2015 This exhibition consists of two parts: work from various

Body Worlds & The Cycle of Life Nov. 21, 2015-May 16, 2016 In Body Worlds & The Cycle of Life, the latest exhibition from physician and anatomist Dr. Gunther von Hagens, you’ll see the body throughout the human life cycle and across the arc of aging.

More than 100 plastinates — real human specimens preserved through Dr. von Hagens’ invention, the remarkable process called Plastination — reveal the human body in all its stages, across youth, growth, maturity and advanced age, and in all its conditions, from health to distress to disease. Tickets range from $10-$24 at the museum’s website.

— Listings compiled by qnotes staff from promotional materials.

Aug. 28-Sept. 10 . 2015

qnotes

13

goqnotes.com/to/arts

tell trinity

by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

Are “pick-up” bars really good places for couples?

Dear Trinity, Why is it that when I’m out at a bar and I tell someone that “I’m in a relationship” I suddenly get treated like a vampire? Is talking to someone who’s in a relationship really that evil?

Unappreciated, Nashville, TN Dear Unappreciated, If you’re at a pickup bar surrounded by people looking to score or meet other potential dates, why would any mortal waste their time with you? And why are you there anyway?

If you’re looking for a one-night stand, then don’t mention your relationship status, and if you’re looking for friends, then join an athletic, intellectual, spiritual or political group.

Honestly, pumpkin, either expect to be treated like a vampire or stop going to pickup bars without your other half!

Hey Trinity, After seven years together, my ex dumped me a few months ago and I’m still so angry.

How would you get revenge on someone who promised you the moon and then left you in the dirt?

Lost In Bachelorhood, Wichita, KS

Dearest Trinity, After putting a profile on the internet, I’ve been getting at least one response a day. It’s very exciting, but also very difficult meeting and dating all these different personalities.

Help?

Lots To Date, Asheville, NC Dearest Lots To Date, Before any project reaches a successful conclusion, there must first be a weeding out process and, sweetie, dating different guys at once or “powerdating” is no different. Think of powerdating as a research project for your book, “One Hundred Dates!” Stay intuitive, adventurous and keep a fun loving mood about your research. There are lots of personalities to deal with, yes, but meeting the “right” one means going through the wrong ones first.

Good luck.

Hello Ms. Trinity, As I am just turning 17, I find myself completely left out of mainstream gay culture. In fact, the complete lack of things to do has led me to seek friends in all the wrong places.

Underage, Cape Cod, MA Hello Underage, Being a gay grown-up has its lack of outlets as well. It doesn’t get easier unless you get more creative. So, honey, for now here are: Trinity’s Supportive Tips For Getting Through Your Gay Youth 1. LGBT centers are in almost every city in America. They have youth groups. Go there. Also use the internet carefully.

2. Many high schools and most universities have LGBT clubs. Join it, start one or go to one at another school.

3. There are many social, athletic, intellectual and religious groups which have or would be open to having a youth group. Find them!

4. A lternative cultures in the gay community, such as the radical faeries, have groups that welcome gay youths of all ages. Find them too!

5. R emember, it’s not what you don’t have it’s how you go after what you want.

6. I n your town, school, neighborhood etc. there are other gay kids. Carefully turn on your “gaydar” and meet them.

7. It’s easy to give up, get frustrated, even get depressed over many things, so remember

the rules for depression are diet, stay busy, exercise and get plenty of sleep.

8. If you’re unable to place ads looking for like-minded teens, get someone to help you place these ads.

9. Search the internet, find and call gay youth crisis lines anytime. They are very helpful.

10. Lastly, being a gay anything is difficult, but the more you learn to recreate your situation by fulfilling your needs, the better your future will be! info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

goqnotes.com

Hey Lost In Bachelorhood, Being hurt and angry is very understandable.

I’d be angry too. But I’d also forgive him ASAP, move on with my life and let him suffer in his loss of me. Darling, to live your life even greater than it was when you were together is truly the best revenge! (My cartoon shows you how I simply live life to the fullest when I’m suddenly single again. It’s just so much more fulfilling.

Besides, when an ex learns how well you are doing, then you’re on a roll.)

14

qnotes

Aug. 28-Sept. 10 . 2015

a&e

daily news, blog posts and lgbt community event listings Sign up for our weekly e-newsletter: goqnotes.com/subs

16/5:65 3(> 6--0*, 3HYY` > 1VOUZVU (;;695,@

7OVUL! -H_!

7 6 )V_ /PJRVY` 5*

31VOUZVU'31VOUZVU3H^6MÄ JL JVT

Aug. 28-Sept. 10 . 2015

qnotes

15

goqnotes.com/to/life

life

Young and Positive: A Son’s and Mother’s Journey, Part 7 Minding one’s business; Who and when to tell his business

by Trevion and Norena Gutierrez :: Special to qnotes Trevion: Mind yourbusiness “I dont have much to say as far as how or when I tell people about my HIV status. That business belongs to me, my family and my potential sexual partners. And I honestly don’t care, except to tell people before we have sex and with the intentions to help others. I don’t just talk about it without purpose. But I do have something to say on the topic of “mind your own business.”

Recently, my life has become a living hell.

Early on recent morning, I recieved a text from my friend Jelanae, woke up to it, really. I stretched, looked at the text and nearly dropped my phone.

The text killed me inside: ARE U HIV+?

It had gotten out, beyond the people I had told out of wanting to be law binding.

Someone had…and has…been texting my business to everyone they know. And other, in turn, are forwarding the texts to their friends, and so on, and so forth. Tears began to flow from my eyes. How could someone do this to me? I follow the rules...the law. I tell people.

I make sure they know before I even engage in sex with them. And I don’t tell people who don’t need to be told. So how could I be so unfortunate to get a curse such as this?

I begged my friend not to tell a soul and he informed me that it is a federal offense to

16

qnotes

spread that kind of personal information about someone unless you are the person themself.

And I didn’t know that. My friend made sure I was calm before we hung up and I cried, then went back to sleep. All I had were nightmares though. And I just couldn’t understand why someone would try to ruin me like that.

Spreading peoples business is not OK. I can’t describe how hurtful. Please just know first off that my self esteem is better than to try and kill myself because of this…but if you think this is OK, I’ll let you know that someone else just might kill themselves due to your stupidity.

It’s not cool and we as a whole of the HIV community don’t appreciate it. And when you’ve been as sick as I was, almost dying and feeling as though I had nothing to live for…then and only then can you go around spreading that shit around about others. Until then, stay out of it!

I’m getting upset now, so I’m going to stop typing. But I really need you to think about what that type of thing could cause. This could mean the end of someone’s life…please… think about that. We are people, just like you.

I’m not going to keep saying this…it seems like I say it everytime I even mention the topic…so just take that into account.

HIV lives matter too! : :

Aug. 28-Sept. 10 . 2015

Norena Gutierrez: Who and when to tell his business When Trevion was diagnosed in October 2014 as HIV+, our world went upside down for not only a few weeks, but for a few months.

Coming to terms with what HIV+ means for a 17-year-old who has his whole life ahead of him was daunting for me, and I was just the sideline support system and a mother who didn’t know quite how to support him, much less myself.

After recovering momentarily from the Norena and shock of the doctors Trevion Guiterrez informing Trevion of his status and the miracle recovery he made in literally days, it was clear that sharing Trevion’s status with family members and close friends was going to be nothing less than tricky. I remember asking him, “How do you want to do this sharing of your status now?” I reassured him that whatever his answer would be, I would honor and adhere to it. The options: 1) be completely silent or 2) tell everyone. There was clearly some other opportunities in between those two options, but it was uncertain what the criteria would be to share this important information about Trevion’s health…and when.

Trevion thought about it for a couple of days.

During those days, I asked him for permission to tell my best friend as I was needing support and I felt alone. He agreed that I needed a friend, but asked me to ensure my best friend of 30+ years would swear to complete confidentiality. Telling my best friend Joe was overwhelming, and he admitted that he didn’t know enough about HIV to even ask a thoughtful question. However, he listened as I sobbed and I educated him between the sobs.

I arrived at the hospital during week two of Trevion’s stay at the Levine Children’s Hospital and Trevion was in a positive place. He wanted to go eat sushi at the cafeteria and he had made his mind up. “I want to be an advocate for HIV+ lives mattering. I want to help educate young people my age and help remove the stigma that exists in our society.” I took a deep breath. I knew this was big, and I was quickly becoming aware of how little the general population really understands about HIV. I asked in good motherly fashion, “Are you sure?” There was a resounding “Yes, I am absolutely sure.” I was never as proud of my child as in that moment. I knew that sharing his HIV+ experience would save lives.

And almost like he read my mind, he blurted out after inhaling his California roll with too much wasabi: “If I can save one life, Mom — it will be worth sharing my status, no matter how much pain I may have to endure in the process.” With this green light to share his status with our family, he announced that he wanted to tell his brother, not have me do it. He called his brother Richard when we got back to the room. Richard was quiet and said, “I am sorry Trevion, is there

anything I can do?” Trevion had tears in his eyes and said, “Just be my brother still, that’s all.” Richard who is 18 months younger said, “You got it, bro.” I saw relief in my son’s eyes.

Later that evening, I got on the phone to my mother first. I shared why I had not been able to call and that Trevion was in the hospital. I shared his diagnosis. She said, “Well, that’s that” and changed the subject to the weather in California. I was stunned. Discussion over.

I called my sister in Boise, Idaho. She wept with me on the phone. She has a dear friend of over seven years who has been successfully living with HIV and she has learned a lot about HIV by being supportive to this dear friend. She reaffirmed that the current medication is amazing and there are technology advances that are in the works that will ensure that Trevion’s life will be lived to the fullest. She affirmed, “all is well my dear sister, and Trevion is alive and this is the gift, all else is of no consequence”.

My sister Dorothy was by far the most supportive of my family. Several weeks later, I had enough courage to call my sister-in-law in Las Vegas who is married to my brother who is a Mormon Bishop. This was by far the most anxious call to make. It was easier to call my brother’s wife and let her share the information with my brother. She is the loving mother of six children and immediately connected with any child who is sick is loving and deserving of their support and that she would be praying for a full recovery. She asked, “How are you holding up?” That phone call was over 10 months ago, and never once has my brother called to see how my son or I am doing.

I justify the silence as to the fact that he is really busy running a multi-million dollar business, managing six children’s school activities and being a very active leader in the church.

With Trevion’s permission, I have been very careful about disclosing his status in any situation. It is out of respect for him. It is his journey to share the information and educate. In a miracle six months, my son went from being on the doorstep of AIDS to being “undetectable.”

This means that his immune system is calm and he is at a viral load of zero (when he was diagnosed six months before it was eight million).

Sharing our journey here in qnotes has been a way that Trevion has kept his promise to advocate. He is my hero, he is my child and he is a young and positive advocate. : :

Aug. 28-Sept. 10 . 2015

qnotes

17

EVENTS

Submit your event to our calendar!

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2015 Shelby Pride The Episcopal Church of the Redeemer 502 W. Sumter St., Shelby 6 p.m.

Shelby’s LGBT and ally community comes together for a second annual Shelby Pride picnic. Stay tuned for more information and learn more online. facebook.com/events/1610714215855598/.

SEP AUG MO

00 29

Pride Bar Crawl SEP SEP MO Various locations, WinstonSalem 7 p.m.-Midnight Pride Winston-Salem hosts a Pride Bar Crawl. Ticket purchase and information are available online. pridews.org.

00 05

Second Chance Prom Club Cabaret 101 N. Center St., Hickory SEP AUG MO 7 p.m.

Club Cabaret hosts their Second Chance Prom. The second annual event’s theme this year build’s on Comedy for a Cause “Alice in Wonderland” The Comedy Zone with a “T* Party” 900 NC Music Factory Blvd., Suite B3, vibe raising awareCharlotte ness for transgender 7-9 p.m. youth. Proceeds Five comedians come together benefit OUTright Youth for a benefit show for Equality NC. of Catawba Valley’s Performers include Blayr Nias, Chris work with transgender James, Clint Nohr, Mimi Benfield, youth. Door prizes, Jordan Scott Huggins and Ed Mabrey. dancing, raffle, silent Tickets begin at $15. Information and auction and more. tickets are available online.

Photographer available. King and queen facebook.com/events/855704277818363/. will be crowned. Tickets are $15/single, cltcomedyzone.com. $20/couple.

00 30

SEP SEP MO

00 11

You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the Charlotte Business Guild and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a threefor-one entry. All Charlotte-area events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes. com), Charlotte Business Guild (charlottebusinessguild.org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com).

Archive Naming and SEP SEP MO Reception UNC-Charlotte Student Union 9201 University City Blvd., Charlotte 7-9 p.m.

The Charlotte LGBTQ Community Archive hosts a reception and art showing to unveil its official naming.

Materials from the collection will also be exhibited. RSVP requested to joshua. burford@uncc.edu by Aug. 15. Brief remarks, light hors d’oeuvres, casual attire.

00 17

Not Your Mama’s Bingo La Rumba De Cache 534 U.S. Hwy. 70 SW, Hickory 7:30 p.m.

ALFA hosts their “Under a Big Top” bingo fundraising event.

Doors open at 6:30 p.m., with games starting at 7:30 p.m. Ticket purchase and information are available online. notyourmamasbingo.com.

SEP SEP MO

00 18

Stand Up Sing Out SEP SEP MO Halton Theater 1206 Elizabeth Ave., Charlotte 7:30 p.m.

“Stand Up Sing Out: A Concert to Stop Bullying” featuring “Tyler’s Suite” with a 120-voice mixed chorus and guest star Ann Hampton Callaway.

Proceeds benefit the Tyler Clementi Foundation’s Day 1 Campaign and Time Out Youth’s School Outreach Program. Tickets available online. tix.cpcc.edu.

00 03

To see more upcoming events, visit goqnotes.com/calendar/

18

qnotes

Aug. 28-Sept. 10 . 2015

Greensboro Pride S. Elm St., Downtown Greensboro 11 a.m.-5 p.m.

SEP SEP MO

00 26 19 00

Greensboro Pride returns to celebrate its 10th anniversary, moving their event to the middle of Downtown Greensboro. greensboropride.org.

SEP SEP MO

00 20

Walk to End Alzheimer’s Charlotte Symphony Park, 4400 Sharon Rd 9 a.m.

Bring your walking shoes to join the fight to end Alzheimer’s come rain or shine. Registration is at 9 a.m. Ceremony at 10 a.m. Walk follows at 10:15 a.m.

Route Length is 2.3 miles. Want to volunteer? Email Jacob Wilkins at JWilkins@ alz.org to learn more about what you can do to help out. hact.alz.org/site/TR/Walk2015/ NC-WesternCarolina?pg=entry&fr_ id=7629.

SEP SEP MO

Trans Pride Caldcleugh Multicultural Arts Center 1700 Orchard St., Greensboro Noon-6 p.m.

NC Pride SEP SEP MO Duke East Campus Campus Dr. and W. Main St., Durham 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

Annual NC Pride Festival and Parade with business, community and food vendors, parade at 1 p.m. and more. More information is available online.

Check out our next issue for more detailed information and preview to this annual event. ncpride.org.

00 26

NC Trans Pride in Action presents the second North Carolina Trans Pride event, with keynote speaker Jacob Tobia, featured artist Lara Americo and hosted by Chasity Scott. Free event. Free food, entertainment and more. More information is available online. facebook.com/events/812710915508810/.

Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/

goqnotes.com/to/arts

a&e

dishing with buff faye

by Buff Faye :: qnotes contributor :: info@bufffaye.com

Six lessons learned from a newfound pageant queen

You never know what you don’t know. There are many things I have been called, but a “pageant queen” is typically not one of them. I guess I have never wished to conform to some of the standards — or conformity — of pageantry. Or, at least, that is the way I used to think of pageants.

Over the last few months, I have learned a lot about myself and the world of pageants.

As a result of competing in the statewide and national Entertainer of the Year system and then being a promoter for the Miss Gay North Carolina America pageant, I have found a new respect and understanding for pageants. I even won the 2015 Miss Charlotte Pride this past month. Perspectives can change and so have mine. Here are six lessons learned from a newfound pageant queen. #1. Pageants are not all about beauty.

Shocking. Yeah, there is world peace and all, but even then pageants do want something a bit deeper. Smart and pretty queens can win — and not everything is about beauty. Each pageant system has their own set of standards and expectations for their pageant winner.

Interviews and onstage questions do matter. #2. Pageants support all different kinds of queens.

Pageantry is just as diverse as the drag queens who compete in them. Each pageant system is different and so are the queens. Find a system that challenges you and supports you for who you are — but also find a pageant system that makes you aspire to something greater. Different can be good for pageants and drag queens. #3. Pageants stretch and redefine you.

I was never been so tired than competing for 72 hours nonstop in a national pageant. I literally did not sleep or rest for that entire time. It was 24/7 drag. My husband called it the “Amazing Drag Race.” Little did I know that in the midst of the chaos, I was stretched way outside my box.

I grew 10 times and left that pageant a new drag queen and an improved entertainer. Pageants do make you a better queen if you let them. #4. Pageants are about the judge’s critique and scores.

Remember, you are paying for the opinions of judges who measure you against a set of standards for the particular pageant system.

Their opinion matters if you want to win. So listen, learn and come back if you want to win. #5: Pageants teach respect.

As RuPaul would say: “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?” Always respect yourself and love yourself first. Pageants give you this confidence in who you are and how you can improve as an entertainer and illusionist.

There is no reason to feel threatened by other viewpoints or other drag queens. Only then can you respect the art form of drag. Have faith and respect in what you are doing. #6. Pageants build authentic sisterhood.

Sisters I have met at pageants truly mean the world to me. We share a common bond and love for drag. Plus, I have never felt so much love from others who wanted me to succeed and, yet, we were all in it together. Sisterhood is one of those things you never expect in a pageant, but it is real.

All and all, these lessons are simple — and, yet, I would have never learned them unless I tried something new. Pageants are not for everyone. But the art of drag does have a place in our LGBT community and our queer history.

There is so much still to be learned about drag and its impact on how we express our gender as a society. Gender expression and the drag we wear has no boundaries. It sets us free. : : DRAG TIP: Glitter is your friend. Try something new and stretch yourself beyond your walls.

— Buff Faye calls the Queen City her home and performs to raise money so she can glitter bomb Donald Trump (and raise money for charities). Find her at your favorite bars and hot spots. Plus don’t forget her weekly Saturday night show with Patti O’Furniture and regular Friday night party bus.

Learn more at AllBuff.com.

Follow on Twitter @BuffFaye

SHOUT OUTS:

Go swimming with Buff Faye. Take a splash at the Campus Pride pool party on Sunday, Aug. 30. Buy your tickets online at CampusPride.org/Splash

Aug. 28-Sept. 10 . 2015

qnotes

19

20

qnotes

Aug. 28-Sept. 10 . 2015