QNotes, September 6, 2019 by QnotesCarolinas

Sept. 6-19, 2019

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Sept. 6-19, 2019

inside this issue

Sept. 6-19, 2019 Vol 34 No 10

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Carlyle Addy, Kode Brown, Mykah Buff, Vic Gerami, Stuti Joshi , Jack Kirven, Bill Malcolm, Lainey Millen, Lynn Myrick, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Gregg Shapiro, Trinity

front page

Graphic Design by Lainey Millen Photography: Berlin - Mike Albright

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Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Managing Editor: Jim Yarbrough, x201, editor@goqnotes.com Assoc. Editor: Lainey Millen, specialassignments@goqnotes.com Copy Editor: Maria Dominguez Production: Lainey Millen, x205, production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper. Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2019 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

When it comes to having tenacity and bravery, young people are pushing against the establishment and voicing their opinions and taking stands against what they see as injustices and damage to the world.

4 Primary Elections to Decide Key Races 4 Journalists Bestow Awards 4 News Briefs 5 Pride Fests Dot Carolinas 5 Survivor Stories Focus of New Org

Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBTQ and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBTQ life and social justice issues.

Youth Step Up in Climate Change Battle

Berlin: Breathtaking

Out in Print: ‘Headcase’ 10 Questions with Vic: Xabiani Ponce de León Tell Trinity

life 7 Young Activists Speak Out About Climate Change 8 Love Yourself, Love Your Health and Be Aware 8 LGBTQ Individuals at Higher Risk for Mental Illness 10 Fall Offers a Cornucopia of Seasonal Options 16 The Gay Side of Music City 19 Health & Wellness: Supplements

v iews 12 Legal Eagles: Navigating Changes After Divorce

events 18 18

Black Cinema Series Interfaith Summit

Pride Fests Abound Across the Carolinas

From the Atlantic Coast to the Lower Piedmont, Pride festivals are continuing throughout the fall. Each one has its own flavor and assorted events and activities to help mark Stonewall 50.

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Sept. 6-19, 2019

qnotes

Briefs

news Primary elections to decide key races CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Across Mecklenburg County and North Carolina the upcoming primary on Sept. 10 will bring candidates one step closer to election and the square-off between Democrat Dan McCready and Republican Dan Bishop will leave one person victorious in securing the 9th District House of Representatives seat. McCready has secured endorsement from the Human Rights Campaign. This election was made necessary due to the general election being tainted in 2018 when McCready battled for the seat with Republican Mark Harris. Irregularities were found with absentee ballots. The incidents are being investigated by authorities and several people have been indicted in connection with the alleged fraudulent activities in both the 2016 election and the 2018 primary election, the North Carolina State Board of Elections said. The board ordered a new election under N.C.G.S. § 163-182.13(a)(4), which provides that the board may call for a new election if “irregularities or improprieties occurred to such an extent that they taint the results of the entire election and cast doubt on its fairness.” The vote to hold a new election was unanimous — three Democrats and two Republicans, the board shared. Bishop is the chief architect of the discriminatory HB2, known as the “bathroom bill.” He also supports ultra right-wing agendas and opposed Democrat Dan McCready expanding Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act. Equality North Carolina (ENC) has shared their endorsements, picking candidates who are more in line with their platform. They are: District 1, Larken Egleston; District 2, Jessica Davis; District 3, Caleb Theodros; District 4, Gabe Cartegena; District 5, Matt Newton; and At Large, Julie Eiselt, LaWana Mayfield, Jorge Milares and Braxton Winston. All of these candidates are Democrats. Other candidates running for these seats are James “Smuggie” Mitchell, Chad Stachowicz, Sean Smith, Jeremy Arey, Antionette (Toni) Green, Terry Brown Jr., Victoria Watlington, Richmond Baker, Charlene Henderson, Renee Perkins Johnson, Charles Robinson, Sean Thompson, Vinroy Reid and Mark Vincent. None of these candidates received endorsements. Republican candidates running, but not endorsed are: At Large, Joshua Richardson (advanced); District 2, Jacob Robinson; District 4, Brandon Pierce (advanced); and District 7, Edmund H. Driggs and Victoria Nwasike. Other endorsements for local governmental bodies across the state from ENC are: Raleigh (districts) — Sam Hershey (A), David Cox (B), Brian Fitzsimmons (B), Saige Martin (D), Stef Mendell (E), Russ Stephenson, Jonathan Melton, Nicole Stewart (At Large) and Caroline Sullivan (Mayor); Durham — Jillian Johnson, Javiera Caballero and Charlie Reese (At Large) and Steve Schewel (Mayor); Carrboro — Damon Seils, Steve Friedman and Susan Romaine (Alderman) and Lydia Lavelle (Mayor); Cary — Lori Bush (At Large); Chapel Hill — Michael Parker, Sue Hunter, Renuka Soll and Amy Ryan (At Large) and Pam Hemminger (Mayor); Davidson — Jane Campbell and Jim Fuller (Town Commissioner); Greenville — John Landrine (Ward 2 ); Hillsborough — Matt Hughes and Mark Bell (Town Board) and Jenn Weaver (Mayor); Huntersville — Lance Munger (Town Commissioner); Morrisville — Anne Robotti (District 1); Salisbury — Tamara Sheffield and Ladale Benson (Town Council) and Al Heggins (Mayor) and Wilmington — Kimberly Spader (Town Council). In the meantime, Carolina Public Press reported that amid threats of litigation from all sides, the state’s election board voted 3-2 on Aug. 23 to certify a voting system that experts say is insecure, voting rights groups advocated against and many public comments opposed. “This is disappointing,” Democracy NC Executive Director Tomas Lopez said. “But the decision on what ultimately gets purchased is with the counties, and with the county boards of elections in particular,” Carolina Public Press added. Guilford and Mecklenburg county election officials expressed interest in replacing their current voting machine for all systems using newly certified technology, according to Dr. Stella Anderson. These counties have indicated the desire to use the newly certified Election Systems and Software voting machine for every voter. Lawsuits are expected from those who opposed the use of this technology, saying that the new system is not secure. The argument exists between paper and machine ballots. Paper ballots are considered easier to audit. info: equalitync.org. hrc.org. bit.ly/2NK8ifR. — Lainey Millen

Journalists bestow awards WASHINGTON, D.C. — NLGJA: The Association of LGBTQ Journalists held their annual convention from Aug. 29-Sept. 1 in New Orleans, La., with more than 450 journalists, news executives, communications professionals and educators from across the U.S. During the the four-day convention, The Washington Blade was honored with being the inaugural recipient of the NLGJA Legacy Award. Longtime Miami Herald reporter Steve Rothaus, Recode co-founder Kara Swisher and LGBTQ pioneer Lilli Vincenz were the 2019 inductees in the LGBTQ Journalists Hall of Fame. Reuters Deputy Managing Editor for Operations Arlyn Gajilan was the recipient of the 2019 NLGJA Leadership Award. Financial expert Suze Orman headline a plenary session, “Straight Money Talk with Suze Orman,” that gave convention attendees the opportunity to learn from this personal finance expert on including advice specifically tailored to LGBTQ people. Prior to the convention, the current board voted into their positions their successors for the upcoming term. They will take their oaths of office at the conclusion of the convention. Rick Stuckey of NBC Chicago was elected national board vice president of broadcast. Freelancer Belinda Hernandez was elected national board secretary. Ken Miguel of KGO-TV was re-elected national board treasurer. Erik Hall of USA Today, Karen Hawkins of the Chicago Reader, Bethany Grace Howe of the University of Oregon and Eric Walter of KYW Newsradio were elected at-large directors. They joined National Board President Sharif Durhams of CNN, National Board Vice President of Print & Online Jen Christensen of CNN and at-large directors Sarah Blazucki of the U.S. Department of Justice, Eric Hegedus of the New York Post, Chris Martin of Bloomberg and Kristina Torres of the University System of Georgia on the board. Registration for members and non-members for its 2020 event is already available online. The association was formed in 1991 under the guidance of Roy Aarons and serves as a voice in the news industry, educating newsroom decision-makers about coverage of the LGBTQ community, promoting non-discrimination policies and the establishment of equal benefits, and creating educational opportunities to support the next generation of LGBTQ newsroom leaders. Members can be associated with regional chapters in their area or with the at-large one. info: nlgja.org/2020. — Lainey Millen

qnotes

Sept. 6-19, 2019

Clever teen thwarts Trump

Seventeen-year-old Noah devised a way to reduce the attendance at a Trump rally in New Hampshire in August. He asked his supporters to go online and reserve tickets for the rally and simply not show up, thus having Donald Trump speaking to a significantly reduced crowd. Trump’s supporters were locked out of the event because they could not get tickets and were upset because of it. Noah’s Twitter hashtag #EmptySeatMAGATour began to trend due to the action.

info: bit.ly/2NIWtGX.

Trans son commits suicide

Kyler Prescott, the 14-year-old transgender son of Katharine Prescott, took his own life after Rady’s Children HospitalSan Diego misgendered him, LGBTQ Nation reported. The youth had been taken to the hospital for “self-inflicted injuries and suicidal ideation” after encountering transphobic harassment. The staff’s misgendering appeared to cause increased anxiety for Kyler Prescott and five weeks later, he killed himself. The hospital has now been sued for discrimination and Katharine Prescott was awarded an undisclosed settlement.

info: bit.ly/2NNs3Dl.

Popeye’s has a sell out

Popeye’s Louisiana Kitchen has succeeded in selling out nationwide its new non-homophobic chicken sandwich that’s “100 percent less homophobic than Chick-Fil-A,” GayRVA reported. Supplies that had been expected to last until the end of September were already exhausted. Lines were out the door after the sandwich’s introduction.

info: bit.ly/2lleGOC.

Mayor Pete to visit S.C.

Openly gay presidential candidate Mayor Pete Buttigeig will be on hand on Sept. 16, 6 p.m, at the Pee Dee Farms General Store, 125 W. Hwy. 501 for the 2019 Galivants Ferry Stump, considered the oldest and largest political “stump speaking” in the U.S., on Sept. 16. Joining him will be Former Vice President Joe Biden, Minnesota Sen. Amy Klobuchar, and Hawaii Rep. Tulsi Gabbard. House Majority Whip Jim Clyburn will be the master of ceremonies for the event. Blue Grass music will begin at 4:30 p.m. The event is free and open to the public.

info: bit.ly/2ko3yQX.

Singer films video

Performer and singer Chloe has created a YouTube video of her “Dirty Disco” song, with filming at Bar at 316 in Charlotte, N.C. It features local drag queens Lilli Frost, Veronica White and Tia Douglas.

info: bit.ly/2kqh0DI.

Guilford elects new leaders

The Guilford Green Foundation Board has elected co-chair and leader, Bil Guill, as its new board chair for the coming year. He is joined by Barbara Lawrence who is assuming the vice chair position and Steve Stonecypher as treasurer.

info: guilfordgreenfoundation.org.

Author Sparks cleared

A jury found that author Nicholas Sparks did nothing wrong when he fired school headmaster Saul Hillel Benjamin who accused him of discriminating against minority students and barring an LGBTQ club at the North Carolina private school, Epiphany School of Global Studies, he founded in New Bern, N.C., The Charlotte Observer reported.

info: bit.ly/2NLbqIl.

Pride fests dot the Carolinas STATEWIDE — As Pride Month is extended from June into September in the Carolinas, several towns and cities are gearing up to celebrate the lives of LGBTQ individuals. Not only that, visitors can enjoy these environs as a getaway while the weather is still on the warm side. Kicking off the month’s celebration is Charleston (SC) Pride Week from Sept. 7-14 with the festival being held on Sept. 14. Included in the slate of free activities are: Rhapsody Pride at Rhapsody CrossFit, Kickoff Takeover at Taco Boy, Alliance for Full Acceptance Pride Family Picnic, Celebration of Faith at Metropolitan Community Church of Charleston, Equality Hub, among others, plus Charleston Pride Parade in Downtown Charleston at 9 a.m.; and Charleston Pride Festival at Brittlebank Park, Charleston, at 10 a.m. Other cost-related events will be held throughout the week. Visit charlestonpride.org for full details. The Outer Banks (OBX) Pridefest will be held from Sept. 13-15 in Nags Head, N.C. Among activities are a sunset booze cruise, Pride & Joy drag show; festival, dancing and a drag brunch. Visit obxpridefest.com for more information. Next up is the Gaston Pride Festival on Sept. 14 in Gastonia, N.C. Participants can enjoy a day in the sun and camaraderie featuring live entertainment, vendors and a children’s area. See facebook.com/gastonpride for more details. On the following day, Sept. 15, 11 a.m.-6 p.m., head to the Triad for the Greensboro Pride Festival in Downtown Greensboro, N.C. Participants can visit vendor booths, enjoy entertainment emceed by Lawanda Jackson (former Miss Gay USA and Miss Gay USA Classic) from headliners Dana St. James (former Miss North Carolina USA), Ebony Addams (former Miss North Carolina USA) and Rap and Hip Hop artist Ed E. Ruger, along with Indya Chantal, Carter Rayes, NC A&T Modeling Troupe Couture, Vylet, CaliWood, Dez Jetsib, Shomma, Skykym, Kakeboss, Lovari, Rebekah Yokeley, Demi Day, Kitty Litter, Paisley Parque, Crystal Frost, Ferra Rimmington, Amore Diamond, Teri Floyd, Flannel Weather, Giselle Caddidy Carter, Unisex, Nytes DeVille, Isis Glamorous, Betty J, Mona Loverly, Karama Dior, Deion, Jlo Jonez, Perspective the Duet, PlayBoii Red, Michael George Ross, DJ Macray, Izzy A. Starr, Kiki Diamond, Belladona, Vyki LaRoXxX, Finn Phoenix, E.M. Shaun, and Triad Pride Performing Arts. Others who will be making an appearance are Mayor Nancy B. Vaughan, transgender advocate Janice Covington Allison (who will address the audience), Heidi N Closet (Pride Queen) and Omega St. James (Pride King), TPPA and Brenda the Drag Queen. A KidsZone is available for the younger set and a specially brewed first-ever Pride Beer will be available for purchase during the festival at the Greensboro Pride Beer Garden at Little Brother Brewing. See greensboropride.org for information, performance times and more. Rounding out this set of festival is the Catawba Valley Pride Festival being held from Sept. 21 in Hickory, N.C. The event will be held at SALT Block Foundation, 31 3rd Ave. N.E. In its 10th year, the Unifour area brings its celebration to the LGBTQ and allied communities. Details are still being worked out for the event. Visit catawbavalleypride.org for updates. — Lainey Millen

Survivor stories focus of new org RALEIGH, N.C. — Outreach for Our Wave, a new non-profit organization that collects stories from survivors of sexual assault has begun and is building an online community where survivors can be heard, believed and supported, its director of outreach, Cathy Gomes, shared. It will launch with a party on Sept. 14, 7 p.m., at 1401 Christmas Ct., in Raleigh. Tickets are free and available online at bit.ly/2NIuTJI. The organization “differentiates ourselves in that our website provides a means for survivors to safely and anonymously share stories. By providing this anonymous story-telling platform, we have the potential to reach the majority of survivors who do not share their story so that we can drive a wave of change within a broader community,” Gomes added. The organization has been conducting research by posting online surveys on how to best help survivors of sexual assault and have received a large response from members of the LGBTQ community. The ultimate goal of the non-profit is to help survivors of sexual assault on their path toward healing. Our Wave initially set about doing this because “we saw friends and loved ones struggling to get closure after suffering through traumatic events, and we wanted to bring together a community where this could be possible. We saw how difficult it is for someone to speak about sexual violence at all, much less publicly share a story about something so deeply painful and personal,” Gomes said. “Also, through our research, we learned that the idea of social support as a means of aiding recovery after trauma is substantiated by a growing body of research. Studies that have investigated the effect of environmental factors on post-traumatic healing have often found social support to be most correlated to positive life change. Sharing stories and talking to other supportive survivors about the traumatic events of the past can be considered an ‘active approach-oriented coping strategy’ which facilitate recovery. By building an anonymous tool where survivors could be heard, believed, and supported we feel there is a direct opportunity to provide community to survivors and create a wave of change.” Our Wave’s recent study was conducted to better understand survivor coping strategies and mechanisms to improve the organization’s understanding and to design a more impactful website that fits the needs of the community. Through this anonymous study, 42 percent of the participants self-selected association with the LGBTQ community. “We believe that sexual assault directly impacts all sub-groups but specifically think there is an opportunity to represent LGBTQ+ survivors in sharing their stories and taking part in a community of healing,” Gomes added. The core team is comprised of nine volunteers, one of whom identifies as a member of the LGBTQ community, who are all working with their diverse backgrounds and skillsets to build an online platform where survivors can “safely share their experiences and build a foundation to help the community move forward.” Our Wave has also been consulting therapists, lawyers and other active organizations focused on helping survivors to build a platform that leads with “empathy and understanding.” Our Wave is lead by Kyle Linton. info: ourwave.org. — Lainey Millen

Sept. 6-19, 2019

qnotes

Sept. 6-19, 2019

life

Young activists speak out about climate change Sunrise Movement Wants a DNC Climate Debate and Green Legislation

t the age of 10, Lucia Paulsen started to learn a lot about climate change. Earlier this year, she joined the Sunrise Movement, a group organizing young people to discuss and manage the climate change crisis. Paulsen attended a strike in March, where young demonstrators stood in solidarity with Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg. The strike inspired Paulsen to start a Sunrise hub in Charlotte, N.C. “I always wanted to do something, but it wasn’t until then that I realized I could.” Paulsen had been involved with some LGBTQrelated activism before, but the March 15 strike was her first climate-focused action. The group received a lot of press coverage after members staged a protest outside of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s Washington, D.C. office with then Congresswoman-elect Alexandria Ocasio Cortez in an effort to convince the speaker to push forward some sort of policy to deal with climate change. While Speaker Pelosi was not the source of that policy, the proposed Green New Deal addressed many of the group’s concerns and is supported by the official organization. The Green New Deal, a nonbinding resolution, failed in the House. Now, the Sunrise movement is pushing for a climate change debate authorized by the Democratic National Committee (DNC). Officially, the DNC has rejected the idea of a climate change debate, and committee rules bar anyone participating in

By Carlyle Addy | QNotes Contributor Official debates held by the DNC, so far, have included some questions on issues related to climate change, but Paulsen says it isn’t enough. There are more questions that need to be answered. “We need to be holding this climate debate to ask all of them.” Paulsen has a message for previous generations. She says that people have been working on climate activism for a long time, even though support for the movement has grown rapidly in a short amount of time. She says she is grateful for those people, because without them, climate activism could not have become an issue on the national stage. “It starts with a few people and then more people find out about it. It gets bigger and bigger, like a snowball.” At just 13, Paulsen is organizing another strike — this one in an effort to change the official DNC position on climate change. In coordination with the national group, Paulsen’s hub of activists will stage a protest on the morning of Sept. 20 from 9:3011:30 a.m. at the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Government Center, 600 E. 4th St. For more information on and to RSVP Logan Rackowitz, Lucia Paulsen and Kate Harrison (Photo Credit: Sustain Charlotte for the Global Climate Strike, visit bit. via Facebook) ly/2NDAHEs. To learn about other strikes across the Carolinas, visit bit.ly/2NGQFO0. More on the Sunrise Movement is availan unauthorized debate from sharing the stage in an ofable at sunrisemovement.org. : : ficial debate.

Sept. 6-19, 2019

qnotes

life

Love yourself, love your health and be aware Suicide Prevention Day and HIV/AIDS Awareness Days in September

eptember brings not just the beginning of a new school year, the end of summer and new shows on TV. It host several health prevention and awareness days. These special days give people the opportunity to look at how they, their friends and family, fare with these health issues and what one can do for one’s self or to help others in some way. Use this month to be more mindful and take better care for yourself and to help others. Sept. 10 World Suicide Prevention Day First started in 2003, the observance calls for not only awareness, but also action toward preventing suicides. It was started by three groups including the International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP), the World Health Organization (WHO) and World Federation for Mental Health (WFMH.) It is important to note that, just as any marginalized population,

BY Stuti Joshi | Guest Contributor some members of the LGBTQ community feel alone at times in their life. Maybe it was in coming out and feeling abandoned. Maybe it was in not being able to come out and feeling restrained. Maybe it was a myriad of factors that led to feeling like an outcast. Regardless, each and every single individual has a community, and always has resources to reach out to. Suicide is the second leading cause of death in the younger population (ages 10-24), and the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S. Suicide only came on the list of top 10 leading causes for death in the U.S. in recent years, meaning that the rate has increased. Not only this, but LGBTQ youth are about five times more likely to commit suicide compared to heterosexual youth. This raises even more urgency toward taking action and recognizing mental health in the same light as physical health. Everyone must look out for one another, while also remembering to look out for him or herself. Ask yourselves, what am I doing for myself? What am I doing to feel better? Am I making smart decisions? Having people take this time to step back and say, “I should implement this practice in my life” does not mean that they do not already love themselves. Instead, it means they are loving themselves in the form of self-care, and staying away from practices that could potentially be harmful. Whether it’s having safer sex or being pickier about partners, and encouraging them to know their status, there are many ways to express self-care. It may be simply talking about your concerns, about your feelings. That someone can be a friend, parent, teacher or a medical professional. The important thing is to reach out. If you don’t have someone you can talk with, look up resources in your community. iasp.info/wspd2019. thetrevorproject.org/get-help-now.

Sept. 18 National HIV/AIDS And Aging Awareness Day National HIV/AIDS And Aging Awareness Day was a campaign started in 2007 by The AIDS Institute. This day is observed in an effort to prevent detection and diagnosis from being delayed.

qnotes

Sept. 6-19, 2019

Sept. 27 National Gay Men’s HIV/AIDS Day National Gay Men’s HIV/AIDS Day was started in 2008 by the National Association of People with AIDS to direct attention to and recognize the disproportionate impact of HIV and AIDS on men who sleep with men in the U.S. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in 2016, nearly 7 out of every 10 HIV diagnoses were gay and bisexual men. When it comes to HIV/AIDS, a majority of the population is divided. Much of the older generation still has the mentality that getting diagnosed with HIV/AIDS means a death sentence. On the other hand, much of the younger generation believes that getting diagnosed is not as much of a concern as there is now medication to treat it. The problem with both of these mentalities is that it prevents people from reaching out and actually getting tested. Not getting tested affects the people who do not know their own status, as well as their partners. From a public health standpoint, talking about HIV/AIDS has to be de-stigmatized. The mindset that getting diagnosed is a shameful thing needs to be removed from the culture. When as a community the conversation becomes more open, more people feel relaxed and willing to get tested. HIV/AIDS is a chronic disease, but what a lot of people don’t know is that there are ways to prevent it! There are three levels of disease prevention: primary, secondary and tertiary. Primary prevention is all about preventing, secondary prevention is about detection, and tertiary is about treatment. For prevention, PrEP is available to decrease the risk of contracting HIV by upwards of 90 percent. For detection, there are several places listed online at goqnotes.com/61730 around the Charlotte-Mecklenburg area where you can get tested for free. While prevention is always best, there are resources available for people at any level. The only stipulation to this is that people have to be tested first, to know what their status is and what they need moving forward. So many people in this community are disproportionately affected, and everyone owes it to themselves and each other to promote better self-care practices. So what better time to start a conversation? bit.ly/2NGGkSm. bit.ly/2NRZ9SN.

LGBTQ individuals are at a higher risk for mental illness An Evolution in Therapy Creates Better Outcomes for LGBTQ Clients

t should come as no surprise that the LGBTQ community is among one of the highest at-risk groups to suffer from mental illness. And while many individuals do have similar needs to non-LGBTQ individuals, there are those areas of concern directly related to being a member of this community. Although a person’s sexual orientation and/or gender identity may not always cause distress, it is very common for LGBTQ individuals to experience an elevated level of stress, anxiety and depression, which often stems from the social stigma of being a minority group. According to goodtherapy.org, “LGBTQ individuals seek therapy at a higher rate than their non-LGBTQ counterparts.” What issues do LGBTQ individuals face regarding mental health concerns that might differ from non-LGBTQ individuals? Confusion about sexual orientation can play a major role in an individual’s mental health. Struggling (in many cases alone) with confusion about sexual identity can cause an increased level of anxiety. This is also very true when someone is considering coming out. Coming out can be one of the most frightening things a person ever does. Many people fear repercussions and are often very reluctant to share this part of themselves. “The most common reason LGBTQ individuals were or are apprehensive to come out is familial tension, isolation, or estrangement,” says Dr. Evan Goldstein in his article, “The Experience of Coming Out,” published on bespokesurgical.com in 2014. Unfortunately, it’s quite common for individuals to react negatively to the coming out (whether it be gender identity or sexual orientation) of a family member. This often leads to homelessness, which greatly contributes to the growing number of LGBTQ homeless youth today. “Serving Our Youth,” a 2015 publication from The Williams Institute available at williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu, reports

BY Mykah Buff | Guest Contributor that “homelessness among LGB youth is a major problem in the U.S. Although LGB (sexual minority) people comprise two to seven percent of the population, about one-third of homeless youth identify as LGB or questioning.” Additionally, “4 percent of homeless youth identify as transgender, compared with 1 percent of the general youth population in the U.S.,” the publication reports. “LGBTQ youth are at a higher risk for homelessness than are cisgender (gender identity matches with the assigned sex at birth), heterosexual youth.” Gender dysphoria (a condition where a person experiences discomfort or distress due to not identifying with their assigned gender-at-birth) is a sensitive issue not to be taken lightly. The delicate situation requires special consideration, as individuals may experience a host of issues that pose a significant risk to their mental health. Without clinical intervention, gender dysphoria can lead to dangerously high levels of depression that can quickly manifest into suicidal thoughts and ideation. “Forty percent of transgender adults have attempted suicide during their lifetime, compared to less than 5 percent of the U.S. population as a whole,” according to the U.S. Transgender Survey in 2016. Since its founding in 1998, The Trevor Project has played a major role in the LGBTQ community’s fight against mental illness. The national leading nonprofit organization provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQ youth who are under the age of 25. According to organization’s website (thetrevorproject.org), “The Trevor Project offers accredited life-saving, life-affirming programs and services to LGBTQ youth that create safe, accepting and inclusive environments over the phone, online and through text.” The growing number of non-traditional and blended families are being accompanied by an increase of mental health concerns. Same-sex parents may experi-

ence challenges with social acceptance. And, although same-sex marriages have been legalized in the U.S., several forms of legal discrimination still exist. The LGBTQ community has experienced some positive change regarding awareness, cultural sensitivity and acceptance. However, there is still a lingering culture of discrimination and oppression toward diverse family dynamics. In a 2014 study by Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health, it was found that “LGBTQ people who live in communities with more stigmatizing attitudes about their sexual orientation die an average of 12 years earlier than LGBTQ people in the leastprejudiced communities.” “Issues that arise in lesbian and gayparented families are a function of two things,” says clinical psychologist April Martin. “One is the rich variety of family constellations they comprise, and the other is the fact that they are living in a society which does not yet value rich variety. The tension created by this situation generates unique needs for the approximately 5 million gay and lesbian parents in this country whenever they present themselves to the legal system, the educational system, the mental health profession, religious organizations, the medical profession, or the insurance industry” The mental health needs surrounding the LGBTQ community can be very challenging and complex. Finding a therapist who’s experienced in working with this unique demographic can greatly impact the treatment outcome. “Many LGBTQ people arrive in therapy with an extra layer of trauma and shame related to their sexual orientation or gender identity and the ways in which that orientation/identity has been responded to by their families and/or society,” says Robert Weiss in his article, “Understanding LGBTQ Affirmative Psychotherapy” published on psychcentral.com in 2014. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (nami.org) states that, “many will experi-

ence prejudice based on their sexual and/or gender identity as well as the stigma associated with mental illness. Confronting these challenges and mental health symptoms with an LGBTQ-inclusive therapist can lead to better outcomes, and even recovery.” Regardless of what issues an individual may be experiencing, it is very important to find the right treatment and support necessary to live a happy and healthy life. “Early intervention, comprehensive treatment, and family support are key to helping LGBTQ people live well with a mental health condition,” states NAMI. Due to fear of discrimination, another factor affecting the mental health of LGBTQ individuals is the apprehension to seek out therapy. According to goodtherapy.org, “one of the greatest barriers that LGBTQ people experience in accessing mental health care is the anticipation of and experience of discrimination.” In an attempt to combat these types of deterrents, a treatment approach focused on validation and advocacy was developed. According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health (ncbi.nlm.nih.gov), “affirmative therapy is a type of psychotherapy used to validate and advocate for the needs of sexual and gender minority clients. Therapists use verbal and nonverbal means to demonstrate an affirming stance toward lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) clients.” In a New York Times 2016 interview, Ian Jensen, then an Antioch University student, discussed how his experience with affirmative therapy was life changing. “Having a gay-affirmative therapist really changed my life in a lot of ways,” Jensen says. “Just like my straight friends, only I’m attracted to men. But what I found out is that there’s a deeper level of experiencing what it means to be a gay person than just my sexual identity,” he added. : :

Sept. 6-19, 2019

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Fall offers a fun-filled cornucopia of seasonal options Make Plans to Pick Out a Pumpkin, Go on a Hayride, Walk Around a Corn Maze and More! BY Kode Brown | Guest Contributor

704-769-9588 Mystery Mansion, Runway Train, Hostage are just a few different themes from which to choose.

Hodges Family Farm 3900 Rocky River Rd. E. Charlotte, NC 28215 hodgesfarmnc.com. 704-608-8897 Pumpkin Patch, day and night hay rides, petting zoo. Kid friendly.

Midway Wicked Woods 114 Midway Dr. Statesville, NC 28625 midwaywickedwoods.com. 704 546-7615 Haunted woods, mazes and different scary themed buildings including a 3D clown room.

he official day for the beginning of fall is only a couple of weeks away and with summer setting, here are some ways to get into the cooler seasonal mood while having a lot of fun.

Carrigan Farms 1213 Oak Ridge Farm Hwy. Mooresville, NC 28115 scarriganfarms.com. 704-664-1450 Daytime apple and pumpkin picking, hayrides. Night time haunted hayride. Hall Family Farm 10713 Providence Rd. W. Charlotte, NC 28277 hallfamilyfarm.com. 704-562-4021 Corn mazes, pumpkin patches, pedal gokarts, bonfires and hayrides. Rural Hill 4431 Neck Rd. Huntersville, NC 28078 ruralhill.net. 704 875 3113 Corn mazes day and night, pumpkin patch, local beer and wine tasting.

Breakout Escape Rooms 11025 Carolina Place Pky. Pineville, NC 28134 breakoutgames.com.

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Haunted Mill & Blacklight Mini Golf 6325 W. Wilkinson Blvd. Belmont, NC 28012 thehauntedmillnc.com. 704-829-6455 120-year-old mill, blacklight mini golf. Kersey Valley Spookywoods 1615 Kersey Valley Rd. Archdale, NC 27263 spookywoods.com. Train rides, haunted woods, Zombie Run and Club Spooky. Hickory Grove Haunted Trail 4064 Mountain View St. Gastonia, NC 28056 hghaunts.com. Haunted trail, not kid friendly. Scarowinds 14523 Carowinds Blvd. Charlotte, NC 28273 carowinds.com. 704-588-2600 Theme park turns into scary attractions, haunted mazes, scary theme zones, rides and themed shows.

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Breathtaking

An Interview with Terri Nunn of Berlin

n 1982, when Berlin’s debut album “Pleasure Victim” was re-released by Geffen Records, pop music was in a state of flux. The homophobic and racially motivated 1979 Disco Demolition pushed dance music off the radio paving the way for rock and roll hair bands to take over. At the same time, UK new wave bands, including The Human League, Duran Duran and Depeche Mode, subversively made dance beats and synthesizers cool again. Berlin’s controversial first minor hit single “Sex (I’m A…)” (from “Pleasure Victim”) effortlessly combined the energy of new wave and disco. By the time the group’s big hit single, “No More Words” arrived on the airwaves; dance music for the masses was becoming acceptable again. A couple of years later, Berlin would have its greatest triumph with the track “Take My Breath Away” from the Tom Cruise movie “Top Gun.” Lead vocalist Terri Nunn, who has been there throughout Berlin’s nearly 40-year existence, was kind enough to answer a few questions before the band embarked on a summer concert tour.

BY Gregg Shapiro | CONTRIBUTING WRITER GS: Because dance music has been a central component of Berlin’s music, as recently as 2013’s “Animal” album, and the queer community has a fondness for that style of music, are you aware of an LGBTQ following? TN: Oh, yes! We get invited to do Prides quite often. Of anything that we do, that’s one of my favorite shows to do. What could be more fun than a Pride? There was one in South Carolina that was really rough. There were so many protestors, people with signs outside. It was like, “Dude, really? What year are we in?” It’s just so much more of an accepted concert experience for people that this (kind of protest) was really unusual. I’m glad that that’s unusual now. It’s a wonderful gathering of people. It’s both the most outrageous and the safest musical experience with people together that I’ve ever had. When we get asked to do a Pride, we’re there!

GS: Berlin is on tour this summer with the B-52s. What are you most looking forward to about that concert tour? Berlin, both past and present. (left to right) Carlton Bost, Christopher Olivas, John Crawford, Terri Nunn, Dave Schulz and TN: Two things. Getting to play David Diamond. (Photo Credit: Berlin Promotions) a lot of cities that we have not (played). We’re doing 32 cities — headlining and on tour with them. We’re going into places TN: Oh, yeah! We told him right away. We were on our we haven’t been in a while. I’m looking forward to that. hands and knees begging him to work with us on the Gregg Shapiro: Before you became a musician known The B-52s are, for me, one of the greatest bands in music. second album. We had no money yet, but we managed to for dance-oriented music, you played Jeannie in the Kate with her beehive hairdo! They’re like Devo and Pink snag him for the song “No More Words.” That was exactly 1978 disco movie “Thank God It’s Friday,” alongside Jeff Floyd. Bands that are so unique. They never sounded like the time he got the “Top Gun” soundtrack. It was literally Goldblum, Debra Winger and the late Donna Summer. anyone else to begin with. There’s no way to place them in being in the right place at the right time because we had Is there a special memory from making that movie any time frame because they were completely their own no name (recognition) yet. Nobody knew who we were that you’d like to share? animal in the time frame they were in. Therefore, it never because we hadn’t had a hit yet. Terri Nunn: I think the most special thing about that is ages. It’s just this music that is amazing forever. I’m so that was the debut of Donna Summer. She was getting honored to have a chance to get to do a bunch of shows GS: Thank you for mentioning “Top Gun.” Kenny some recognition for the music, but this was her on the with them this year. Loggins is said to be re-recording “Danger Zone” for screen. The amazing thing is that Giorgio Moroder to the “Top Gun” sequel. Have you and Berlin been inme, was just wow! I couldn’t believe the sound that he GS: According to the Berlin website, a new album, vited back to contribute to the soundtrack? was getting. I got to meet him on the set. The movie was “Transcendance,” is scheduled to be released this year. TN: We are in talks. I hadn’t heard anything about Kenny. produced by Neil Bogart at Casablanca Records. I met What can you tell me about it? They haven’t decided, I think, because the music is the last Giorgio, and I was speechless and excited. He was so not TN: It’s the first album since 1985 with the original band thing to go on a movie. I think they’re still shooting it. Of interested in me at all. To him, I was just a stupid little members, John Crawford and David Diamond. That came course, we’d love to be part of it. If I could be part of it with 18-year-old actress. A few years later, to have an Oscar out of nowhere. That reunion with them happened a Giorgio, even better! with the song that we created together (“Take My Breath couple of years ago. John was getting a divorce and at the Away” from the 1986 movie “Top Gun”), who could have same time David’s partner left him. They were together known? It wasn’t on my radar yet! I wanted to make GS: Back to “Sex (I’m A…)” — for a moment. I was eight years and John was with his wife for more than 20. music, but I wasn’t even close to that. He had no idea thinking about how the line “Am I bi” was a daring We basically held on to each other. I had been through a that later on he would be creating “Take My Breath Away” lyric to include in a song in 1982. Do you remember the divorce. What we always did was create musically togethwith me, which he has said numerous times that he feels reaction that that line received? er. We started doing that for fun and then the songs got it’s his greatest work. TN: The entire song received such a strong reaction. We written and then record labels got interested. The songs were banned in certain states. A couple of states in the were recorded and then it was an album. [Laughs] And South wouldn’t play the record or have us play live there. GS: I’m so glad you mentioned Giorgio because I think now it came out on Aug. 2nd! I’m as shocked as you are. I They thought it was awful and blasphemous, and we were the Berlin song “Sex (I’m A…)” was the best song that had no idea it was coming. : : the devil’s children. I actually heard that said [laughs]. Now Giorgio Moroder never wrote. you look at that and it’s nothing with what’s said! TN: [Big laugh] You know why it sounds like a Giorgio Berlin performs as a special guest on the B-52s 40th Moroder song? I’ll out us. We have already said this before; Anniversary Tour on Sept. 6 at White Oak Amphitheatre at this isn’t an exclusive because we’ve copped to it before. GS: Yes, it’s so tame by comparison. Greensboro Coliseum, 1921 W. Gate City Blvd., in Greensboro, We took his bass line from “I Feel Love” (sings the part and TN: At the time, that specific topic had never been said in a N.C. Also appearing as special guest is Orchestral Manoeuvres the lyric) and inverted it (sings the part). So, it’s going up song. I think people were up in arms because they’d never in the Dark (OMD). Tickets are available online at bit. instead of down. We started with that groove which we heard a woman talk that way, even though women talk ly/2ZdNpfq for general admission lawn, $27.50; regular, took from him and changed it a little bit and built on that. that way to each other all the time. About our fantasies, $45.00, $75.00; and $125, reserved seating. Berlin will also be about how we feel, about how guys are, and all that, but it on hand at the South Carolina Pride Festival on Oct. 4. had never been put to music. GS: Did he ever comment on it?

Sept. 6-19, 2019

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Navigating Changes After Divorce Legal Eagles: Creating the New You

BY Lynn Myrick, Certified Professional Coach | guest WRITER

day trip to the beach or mountains, or mayet’s be real — divorce is TOUGH, and so be you fly by the seat of your pants and let is figuring out your and your family’s new this incredible local biz called WhiskedAway life in the weeks and months that follow plan everything for you. finalizing your split. And, there’s a case to be Create (or rediscover) the NEW YOU! made for it being even tougher for those in Yes, you are the same person you have the LGBTQIA+ community. Not only are you always been, BUT you have made it through handling the sea change of divorce, your some pretty tough life changes, and that child custody arrangement may be impacted changes people. This could be a great time by the patchwork quilt of surrogacy and to reevaluate the way you have always adoption laws. Your financial arrangements done life. Maybe it’s time to examine some may have been influenced by the number of the BS-rules that you have set up for of years you were married in the eyes of the yourself in the past. Are they working for law, which might be far less than your true you still? Challenge the old ways of doing marriage. Add these to the everyday stresses things and set things up in your life that of the current news cycle, and you’ve got a work for YOU now. Sometimes in life we perfect storm of stress with which to cope. realize that we have been living selflessly The good news is that as marriage and and not taking care of ourselves. It’s time divorce have evolved, so has our awareto recreate Self LOVE! Go for a manicure, ness of the need to take care of ourselves, pedicure or both! Has it been a while since to acknowledge when we’re having a difyou had a great massage? Do that! Have ficult period of our lives and to prioritize Recreating yourself after a divorce can bring new life and self confidence to a ‘battle weary’ you always wanted to have a facial or our needs. Let’s touch on just a few of the survivor. (Photo Credit: golibtolibov via Adobe Stock) smooth out some of those fine lines? Go to plethora of self-care options out there. I’ve Capizzi, M.D. and mention that the Sodoma pulled together a list of some of my favorLaw Divorce Concierge sent you. Another ites, so that you can emerge from your split, • Analog Sunday. Never heard of it? The point is to kick it way to celebrate the NEW YOU and reflect on how strong “so fresh and so clean, clean.” (Yes, music therapy is good back to 1999 and turn off your electronics for the day! and resilient you are, would be to have an empowered for your health and so is Outkast. Go ahead and open the That means no email, no cell phone and no social media. portrait session with one of Charlotte’s many amazing loYouTube app at bit.ly/2NNKyaL to listen while you read, Do Something NEW!! (or new-ish) — Now, I’m not saycal photographers like Cass Bradley, Julia Fay or Michelle you know you want to. JAM OUT!) You deserve it! I love ing you have to go with an “extreme sport” like sky diving, Flowers. Cass Bradley just shot my photos last month, music so much I decided to start putting together a new but there are tons of “outside the box” things you can try and it was incredible. These sessions are more than divorced/break-up theme playlist every month. I will be for the first time, or try again as an adult, that can help pictures — they are meant to capture the pure essence sharing them on Sodoma Law’s Divorce Concierge page boost you out of your post-split rut. of your soul. starting this month! • Float away your feelings and try this new trend — float As someone who knows firsthand the overwhelmHere are a few things you need to know about self-care pool therapy! I was a little anxious at first, but I pushed ing feelings that can come during the big life changes post-divorce: myself to get out of my comfort zone, and once I was that divorce brings — trust me when I say, don’t just lock Set your Personal Non-Negotiables — Nonin the pod, I found it to be SUPER relaxing. There are a yourself in your house and wait for the storm to pass. Get negotiables are things you absolutely will not negotiate on. few locations in Charlotte where you can try this out, I out there and experience life! And for God’s sake don’t do They align with your values and principles and are things visited True REST Float Spa in Plaza Midwood. it alone. Surround yourself with people that are positive that you put into practice because they serve YOU. Here are • Life’s a drag, but brunch doesn’t have to be. Well, unless and support you and encourage you to be your best. Don’t a few examples: you’re going to a Drag Brunch that is! If you’ve never make me remind you of the somewhat overused definition • Routine, routine, routine! Go to sleep and wake up at the been to Buff Faye’s drag brunches in Charlotte you are of insanity— “Doing the same thing over and over again same time every day. Have a cup of coffee or tea and absolutely missing out on a good time. and expecting a different result.” Leave the things that write down three things you are grateful for. If you’re • Try a new dinner cuisine: Ethiopian, Southern, Sushi, are in the PAST… IN THE PAST. Move on, create your New, struggling to get a good night’s rest as part of your Indian (I dare you to order spice level six!). Or maybe Bold Beautiful LIFE! Cheers! routine, you can try lavender essential oil pillow spray or just a new experience in dining, if you’re a foodie. melatonin for a natural sleep remedy. Charlotte is full of restaurants new and old just waiting Lynn M. Myrick, a Certified Professional Coach with a BA in • Exercise every day. This doesn’t necessarily mean you to be tried! Psychology from the University of North Carolina at Charlotte, have to sign up for a gym membership. Even something • Get into nature: hiking, rock climbing or rafting at the recently joined Sodoma Law’s divorce team as the firm’s simple as walking for just 10-15 minutes a day is shown White-Water Center are all great ways to get out of your first-ever divorce concierge. Myrick helps clients to manage to have positive impacts. own head and reconnect with Mother Nature. not only detailed logistics and access to trusted resources, but • Eat and Commune. Perhaps now more than ever, the Get the Heck out of Dodge — When you have come also their emotional landscape, enabling them to discover people you surround yourself with are of the utmost through a s*#t storm, sometimes it just feels good to get how they each can best navigate the creation of the next stage importance. Take time every week to have a sit-down away. I suggest that you set aside some time and take a of their and their families’ lives. dinner and connect with family and friends. trip as far away as your budget will allow! That may be a

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‘Headcase: LGBTQ Writers and Artists on Mental Health and Wellness’ Out in Print

BY terri schlichenmeyer | CONTRIBUTING WRITER “Headcase: LGBTQ Writers and Artists on Mental Health and Wellness” edited by Stephanie Schroeder and Teresa Theophano ©2019, Oxford University Press $29.95 287 pages

ou had a flu shot this year. You watch your cholesterol, eat better, stay active and brush twice a day. So, why do you feel so rotten? In “Headcase,” edited by Stephanie Schroeder and Teresa Theophano, you’ll see that taking care of your mind is as essential as taking care of your body. If someone on the street saw you today, he might think you were at the peak of health. He can’t see what’s inside, though. “Real or perceived minority status and… disenfranchisement make us vulnerable to being labeled as sick,” say Schroeder and Theophano. In other words, living as a member of the LGBTQ community may affect your mental health. Furthermore, Christian Huygen, one of the contributors to this book, says, “Research shows that, while

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LGBTQ people seek mental healthcare more often than our non-LGBTQ counterparts, we are more likely to leave care prematurely…” Today, therapy is easier to get, if you feel hopeless or empty, but not all practitioners understand LGBTQ health issues. Mainstream healthcare has only relatively recently decided that homosexuality was not a disease in need of a “cure.” Too many healthcare practitioners don’t understand that insurance is sometimes iffy. Never mind those who believe “conversion therapy” is the right “fix.” Have we evolved, when it comes to mental wellness for the LGBTQ community? You might think so, after reading the chapters here: of a lesbian who received comfort from a therapist when her long-time friend wouldn’t stop bringing reli-

gion up. Of veterans who no longer have to conceal their sexuality. On fitting in with the local Mom’s Group when you’re the only “queer” mother and, by the way, you’ve already faced postpartum depression. On being a lesbian daughter of a lesbian mother who was hospitalized against her will decades ago, only because she dared love another woman. “Mental illness can be scary for anyone,” says writer Lance Hicks. “… you choose between asking for help, knowing you’re being judged, or suffering alone.” That latter option doesn’t sound like so much of an option, does it? No, and “Headcase,” a title that comes from “reclamation” of a negative word, takes a real-life look at the first parts of Hicks’ sentiments: mental health, mental help and the history of it all within the LGBTQ community. What you’ll learn won’t come easy, though. There are several distinct kinds of chapters inside “Headcase,” some easier to read than others. Readers will find arty things, poetry and drawings here. There are minimemoirs of relevance. You’ll find short stories, too, many of which have a disjointed feel, as though you just wandered into a half-conversation. There are chapters that are plainly meant for physicians, which might not appeal to laypersons. And you’ll find history in this book, some of which — fair warning — will chill you. Overall, “Headcase” could offer comfort, but it’s not a substitute for a doctor. It’s got subtle advice, but it’s not a therapist. It’s not even a good stand-in for a sympathetic friend, but if you need direction, it’s worth a shot. : :

10 Questions with Vic: Featuring Xabiani Ponce de León Former Disney Channel Actor, Reality Personality, Now Leading Star BY Vic Gerami | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

t’s hard to stand out as an actor during a film festival such as Outfest where over 150 films are screened within nine days. But Xabiani Ponce de León did just that with director Hari Sama’s film, “This is Not Berlin.” After making his film debut in Malaventura, Xabiani became well-known for playing “Omar” in the reality series “Bienvenida” and later for portraying Marco Tavelli in the Disney Channel Original Series, “Violetta.” “This is Not Berlin” continues to do well, so I decided to chat with Xabiani about the film, days in Disney and his upcoming projects. Modesty aside, how would you describe yourself? An introverted boy, has a hard time making friends, but when he gets confidence he can be intense. You got your start on Disney Channel and you are now a leading man. How were you able to make a transition that few actors manage successfully? I have been looking for a project like this for a long time, after being at Disney they continued offering me children’s projects, I believe that the key is to be objec-

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tive, knowing how to say no, not grabbing a project that will take me away from where I want to go, continue looking for it, want it and believe it is possible! Your new film, “This is Not Berlin,” which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival and screened at the Tribeca Film Festival, has been a huge hit. How did you land the leading role, Carlos? I got to do the movie thanks to the producer, I knew him before and he invited me to the casting. I went to the casting, and then I went to a couple of improvisation exercises with Hari. Did you think that it would become such a celebrated film? I really didn’t think it was going to come out so soon, and it was going to have such a good impact. How was it working with director Hari Sama? Working with Hari was a great experience, he is a great director, very professional, very human, I like the way he

works, he is a Zen rockstar. How did you prepare for the role? I was working with Hari to find the essential wound of Carlos, find the similarities with the character, the transition from the school to the Aztek, understand the historical context in which the characters live. “This is Not Berlin” recently screened at the Outfest Los Angeles LGBTQ+ Film Festival. Was it meaningful for you to have the film screened at the world’s biggest LGBTQ film festival? It was a big surprise that the movie was at Outfest, I would have loved to be there! Tell me about your fans when they recognize you in public. Most people who recognize me are children; they usually ask for a photo, it’s going to be funny to see the movie after watching Disney! What’s new on your playlist? Band of skulls, Cleopatrick. Do you have any upcoming project(s)? Now I’m doing a series for Netflix, in October I start a series in Miami, can’t say much. : :

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Sept. 6-19, 2019

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The gayer side of the Music City Queer Travelogue: Hanging Out in Nashville BY Bill Malcolm| Guest Contributor

had been to Nashville, Tenn. several times but never tried to track down the gay scene. This time I did, and I was in for a pleasant surprise. Most of the bars are close together on Church St. in Midtown — one mile or so west of downtown near the beautiful Vanderbilt University campus. There’s lots to do even if you never make it to the Honky Tonk district downtown. Music is everywhere including lots of live music.

hotel rates (happily with no resort fees). If you want to splurge, the new boutique hotel by Marriott in Union Station is a gem. The Omni Hotel is also very nice if you must stay downtown.

Where to eat The nearby Hattie B’s Hot Chicken (112 19th Ave. South) is a must for the spicy chicken. Nashville is also Exploring the gayer side of Nashville, Tenn. offers an eclectic cross section from known for barbeque. country to drag. (Photo Credit: Chris via Adobe Stock) I enjoyed the AsianGetting There inspired dishes at the I took Southwest to was friendly. The breakfast was good. You very gay Suzy Wong’s Nashville. No bag fees. No can work out while you do your laundry. House of Yum (1515 Church next to Tribe) ticket change fees. Nashville is not a hub, It is a short walk to the LGBTQ nightlife. A which included a drag show during dinso all the airlines go there. It is also an convenience store is across the street. It is ner. I was also treated to the spectacle of easy drive for some (six hours from my only a mile uphill from downtown. about six bachelorette parties. They are hometown of Indianapolis). Sadly, there is Other Midtown options include the found 24/7, seven days a week around no Amtrak service. Hutton House Hotel, the Hayes Street town. Indeed, Nashville is the bachelorette Hotel and the Comfort Inn. A new Virgin party capital of the world. It adds to the Where to stay Hotel opens soon. already festive atmosphere. I stayed at the Home 2 Suites by Hilton Skip the downtown hotels which can Nashville also prides itself with Moon at 1800 Division St. near Vanderbilt. I got be very pricey. Nashville is a booming, Pies and Goo Goo Bars (two candies) as my own suite complete with microwave, touristy city, so be prepared for big city well as M&M’s which are also made in refrigerator, utensils and more. The staff

Tennessee. Tennessee whiskey is another local product, but do pace yourself. Nightlife Don’t miss show tunes at Tribe Bar on Sunday afternoon complete with napkins to throw during certain songs like with “Sidetracks.” They have something happening every night of the week at this video bar. This includes Trivia Tuesdays and Hump Day Wednesday. See the list at TribeNashville.com. It is in the same building as Suzy Wong’s (1517 Church St.). Next door you can dance the night away at Play, a very popular dance bar located at 1519 Church. Details are available at PlayDanceBar.com. The Canvas Lounge (1707 Church St.) has 2-for-1 drink specials and great shooter concoctions. It is a very friendly crowd of locals. With 3 gay bars and a gay restaurant close by, going out in Nashville is easy and you can walk back to your Midtown hotel. What to do Don’t miss the Country Music Hall of Fame Museum which chronicles the surprisingly rich and diverse history of country music. You will find it at 222 5th Ave. South. A walk through the beautiful tree lined Vanderbilt University campus is another must. North of downtown there is an indoor farmers’ market with specialty food stands. The nearby State Capitol is also worth a visit. The area — known as Bicentennial Capitol Mall State Park — is also close to the Tennessee State Museum. Another fun idea is a walk over the Cumberland River on the Pedestrian Bridge located downtown. For more travel ideas, pick up a copy of Focus (focusmidtenn.com) or Out and About Nashville (outandaboutnashville. com). Amazingly, the city has two LGBTQ publications (while in Indy where I live, we have none). Nashville Scene is their weekly and is packed with fun ideas. VisitMusicCity.com is the official tourism website. Upcoming events include the Outloud Music Festival on Sept. 14 (outloudmusic festival.com). The Nashville AIDS Walk is scheduled for Oct. 5. You can’t beat a weekend in Nashville even if you are not a country music fan. There’s so much to do and the compact bar scene is a lot of fun. It is a liberal oasis in an otherwise very conservative area. You might even run into Dolly Parton. I did. : : Bill Malcolm’s syndicated LGBTQ travel column appears in publications in Chicago, Orlando and Miami-Fort Lauderdale, as well as on the travel blog of the International Gay and Lesbian Tourism Association. He received no complimentary passes nor air nor hotel reimbursement for this column. His opinions are his own and he takes his own photographs. He is based in Indianapolis and is a member of the Indianapolis Rainbow Chamber. All or part of this column may be reprinted by other publications.

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You Are One In A Million Tell Trinity

BY Trinity | CONTRIBUTING WRITER Dear Trinity, I seem to be on an unlucky streak. I lost my job, my partner and now I’m being evicted. The only thing good in my life is my health and my cat. Help! Dreading Tomorrow, Tulsa, OK Dear Dreading Tomorrow, SLEEP lots, have FAITH and keep BUSY. These three things have always kept me alive. We all have bad days and/or awful experiences, yet, sweetie, what separates the enlightened ones from the rest is our spirit to shake it off and move forward. In

“Jonathan Livingston Seagull,” Jonathan asks God, “Why are there so few seagulls up here?” and God replies, “Because you are but one in a million!” This too shall pass, Trinity Hey Trinity, My partner and I of 13 years have never cheated on each other. Although, occasionally, we enjoy having a third person in our bed. No one gets jealous, and it works for us. But some of our friends think that we are compromising our relationship. What’s your position? Yours, Three’s Company, New York City, NY Hey Three’s Company, Every household, every couple and every relationship has its “crazy,” even “scandalous,” activities that make it a oneof-a-kind relationship. Now, pumpkin, if you must stuff yourself with a third entree that your friends disapprove of, then why not just keep it to yourselves. And if you all end up in a “threesome relationship,” then you may have to find more “compromising” friends. (Hey, compromises often bring about a lot of unexpected options as shown in my cartoon.) Bon Appetit, Trinity Trinity Dearest, My ex goes to the same places I do. I

am often forced to see, and even talk to him. I wish we didn’t have mutual friends. How do I get away from him? Yours, Avoiding The Ex, Providence, RI Dearest Avoiding, Just when you thought you were over him, tada, there he is again to make you feel all those feelings you were supposed to get “over.” Well, darling, being prepared, quick-witted and having an exit strategy like, “I must use the toilette,” is a great way to get through those awkward moments. It does however get easier with time. I promise. Keep breathing, Trinity Hello Trinity, I’ve been working and traveling so much the last few years that I haven’t had time or the desire to date. Now, I’ve relocated to a nine-to-five job and am able to date again. I have no trouble meeting , but getting through the first date is where I bomb. Any ideas? Yours, Free At Last, Reno, NV Hello Free At Last, After a few years, I’d bomb too, but there are ways to restart your dating engine so that you can survive the trials, tribulations and trepidation of a first date. So, honey, start memorizing:

Trinity’s Poetic Tips For Surviving A First Date

1. G ood first IMPRESSIONS and a healthy drive make any first date flourish and thrive.

2. Putting too much energy into “this being the one” creates unnecessary pressure and a night of no fun. 3. An EARLY dinner, movie or even a show promises less chance of you becoming a midnight ho! 4. BOASTING, exaggerating or playing it way too cool makes you look pretentious, with the nickname, “A Fool!” 5. Practice chivalry, charm or what some call grace, by being PRESENT, disconnecting the cellphone and looking face-to-face. 6. INTEGRITY, wit and keeping your calm means canceling or being late may set off a bomb. 7. Club dancing, big parties or a crowded event makes for a difficult first date and is not TIME well spent. 8. WAITING, before giving a dog its bone keeps the dog eager to call you on the phone. 9. Enjoy the date, have fun, BE PLAYFUL and at ease, but never be so relaxed as to contract genital herpes! 10. A nd lastly, remember a word from the wise; EXPECTATION is disappointment, hidden in disguise. : : With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com. Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

Sept. 6-19, 2019

qnotes

events September 6-8 Yaisou Greek Festival

Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Cathedral 600 E Blvd., Charlotte 11 a.m.-6 p.m. The Yiasou Greek Festival was founded in 1978 and has since become one of Charlotte’s premier cultural events. The festival will feature Hellenic cultural exhibits, authentic Greek cuisine and homemade pastries, and live music and dancing. Admission is free. yiasoufestival.org

September 6-8 EarthSong Rising: Weaving Community Through Song

The Farm at Green Heron Pond 157 Browntown Rd., Leicester N.C. All Day EarthSong Rising is a celebration of song, nature and community. The festival features a variety of song leaders of eclectic genres who will lead the attendees in collective singing. Tickets range from $175 for a day pass and $270 and are available online. Work trade passes are also available. earthsongrising.com

September 7 Miss Gay NC America

Newton-Conover Auditorium 60 W 6th St., Newton N.C.

7:30-10 p.m. The Miss Gay North Carolina America pageant celebrates its 40th year with the theme “Coven: The Legacy Continues.” The event will be hosted by reigning Miss Gay America Andora Teetee. The winner will go on to compete at the national Miss Gay America pageant. Tickets range from $20$35 and are available online. bit.ly/2Zaz9Ih.

September 7 Charlotte Vegfest

The Park Expo and Conference Center 800 Briar Creek Rd., Charlotte 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Experience delicious all-vegan offerings from some of Charlotte’s best restaurants! Admission is free. bit.ly/2P0qp3u.

September 14 Tosco Music Party

Knight Theater 430 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m. Tosco Music hosts a thrice-yearly music party with 15 eclectic music acts performing audience singalongs and interactivity. Tickets start at $31.50 and are available online. bit.ly/2MpPFxX.

September 15 Crape Myrtle Festival Drag Brunch Five Star Restaurant 511 W. Hargett St., Raleigh 11:30 a.m. The Crape Myrtle Festival hosts an all-star drag brunch with Blair

September-November 2019 Submit your events: editor@goqnotes.com

Williams, Bang Bang Ladesh, and Satine Allure. Tickets are $25 and include a $15 donation to Crepe Myrtle Festival and Brunch. crapemyrtlefestival.com.

September 15 Lizzo: Cuz I Love You Too Tour

Charlotte Metro Credit Union Amphitheatre 1000 NC Music Factory Blvd., Charlotte 8 p.m. Superstar Lizzo brings her positive, energizing music to Charlotte. Tickets start at $39.50 and are available online. bit.ly/2Gnw7WC.

September 19 Pride in Business Expo & Career Fair

Camp Northend 1824 Statesville Ave., Charlotte 2 p.m. The Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce welcomes participants to their Pride in Business Expo & Career Fair. Vendors will be on hand to showcase their businesses and speakers will share their expertise with event participants during five breakout sessions. There will also be an LGBT Healthcare Summit with modules sponsored by Novant. info: clgbtcc.org.

September 19 Kacey Musgraves

Charlotte Metro Credit Union Amphitheatre 1000 NC Music Factory Blvd., Charlotte. 8 p.m. Country music phenomenom Kacey Musgraves brings her unique music to Charlotte. Tickets start at $27.50 and are available online. livemu.sc/2ZcTPzn.

September 28 Blue Ridge Pride Festival

Pack Square Park 22 S. Pack Sq., Asheville 11 a.m.-7 p.m. Asheville hosts the 11th Annual Blue Ridge Pride Festival, featuring local musicians, spoken word artists, and activists. blueridgepride.org.

September 28 Pride Durham

September 20: The Affirming Interfaith Summit The one-day event will allow its participants to explore ideas on faith, such as what it means to be open and affirming as a congregation, ministering to the LGBTQ community, etc. A complete agenda is posted on the event’s website. Admission is free, but registration is required and available online. Duke Memorial United Methodist Church, 504 W. Chapel Hill St., Durham. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. pridesummit.wixsite.com/website.

qnotes

Sept. 6-19, 2019

Duke University East Campus 712 Broad St., Durham 10 a.m.-10 p.m. Celebrate Pride in the Triangle with a day-long festival at Duke’s campus! The Pride Parade begins at 11 a.m. and performances continue throughout the night. pridedurhamnc.org.

October 5 Fall Achievement Benefit CAM Raleigh

September 8: Classic Black Cinema Series

The Harvey B. Gannt Center for African-American Arts and Culture presents a screening of the classic film “Cotton Comes to Harlem.” The screening is hosted and curated by Felix Curtis, former executive director of the San Francisco Black Film Festival. General admission to the Center, which includes the screening, is $9 and is available online. Harvey B. Gantt Center for African-American Arts and Culture, 551 S. Tryon St., Charlotte. 2 p.m. bit.ly/2ZaEB9N. 409 W. Martin St., Raleigh 7:30 p.m. The LGBT Center of Raleigh’s board will honor their recipients during the Fall Achievement Benefit. Tickets are $125 and are available online. Other ticket options are: scholarship/$50, sponsor/$125 and couch/$75. bit.ly/2NLEdfW. lgbtcenterofraleigh.org.

October 10 Dementia Education Workshop

Union County Public Library 316 E. Windsor St., Monroe 10 a.m. Join the Alzheimer’s Association – Western Carolina Chapter and the Union County Public Library for a dementia-related workshop. “Healthy Living for Your Brain and Body: Tips from the Latest Research” will provide tips on how to keep brains healthy as one ages and possibly delay the onset of cognitive decline. The workshop is free and open to the general public. Registration is available online or call 800-272-3900. tinyurl.com/Oct10Monroe. alz.org/northcarolina.

October 18 7th Annual Carolina Conference on Queer Youth: ‘Intersectionality: The Starting Point’ University of North Carolina at Charlotte Student Center 9201 University City Blvd., Charlotte 8 a.m.-4 p.m. The conference will provide attendees who work with LGBTQ youth an overview for working with this population including

topics regarding healthcare, ethics, school systems and hearing perspectives directly from LGBTQ youth. The conference brings together educators, support staff, counselors, therapists, helping professionals, individuals in higher education, community members, and undergraduate and graduate students from across North Carolina to discuss topics supporting LGBTQ youth in the region. It is presented by Time Out Youth Center, UNC Charlotte’s Office of Identity, Equity, and Engagement and Equality North Carolina. CEUs are available for professionals which one can request on their registration form. A light breakfast and lunch will be provided for all attendees who register. Parking is available in the UNC Charlotte Student Union parking deck for $15 for the day. Onsite registration runs from 7:30-8 a.m. and is open to K-12 educators and support staff, counselors, therapists, individuals in higher education, community members and undergraduate and graduate students. timeoutyouth.org/CCQY.

November 6 Elton John: Farewell Yellow Brick Road

Spectrum Center 333 E Trade St., Charlotte 8 p.m. Musical legend Elton John brings his farewell tour to the Spectrum Center. Public ticket sales begin on October 5, 2018 at 10 a.m. Tickets start at $59.50 and are available online. bit.ly/2PdQrQK.

life

REGULAR EVENTS Charlotte Latin Pride

Spanish-language support nights, second and fourth Tuesday of each month, 7 p.m., Charlotte Pride offices at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church, 1900 The Plaza, Charlotte. info: charlottepride.org/latin/

PFLAG Charlotte

Peer support group meetings for parents, caregivers and family members of LGBTQ individuals. Charlotte: second Monday of each month, 6:30-8 p.m., Time Out Youth, 3800 Monroe Rd. Huntersville: fourth Wednesday of each month, 6:30-8 p.m., Angels & Sparrows Soup Kitchen, 514 N. Old Statesville Rd. info: pflagcharlotte.org

Prime Timers

Monthly meeting including dinner, speaker, games and more for gay men ages 21 and up, 5-7 p.m., Park Road Baptist Church Fellowship Hall, 3900 Park Rd., Charlotte. info: primetimersww.com/charlotte/

Trans Youth Group

Weekly discussion groups for transgender youth ages 13-20 each Thursday, 4:30-6 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org

Transcend Charlotte

Support groups for partners, friends and family of transgender and gender non-conforming adults ages 18 and older, second and fourth Sundays of each month, 6-7 p.m., Time Out Youth Center, 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: transcendcharlotte.org

Youth Drop-In Space

Drop-in space Monday-Friday, 3-6:30 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org

Youth Discussion Group

Weekly discussion groups for LGBTQ youth ages 13-20 each Wednesday, 6:308:30 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org

Youth of Color Group

Weekly discussion groups for LGBTQ and ally people of color each Thursday, 7-8:30 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org

UPDATES/ADDITIONS?

Do you have a regular and reoccurring community event you’d like listed? A listing to update? Email us at editor@ goqnotes.com.

Effective Supplements

Health & Wellness: Two Powders that are Actually Effective BY Jack Kirven | qnotes contributor

ver the years I have made my position on supplements very clear: Use them as they were intended to fill gaps in your otherwise healthful, balanced nutrition strategy. Not only should you not rely upon them as a main source of energy or vitamins, minerals and fiber, you should not rely on them to provide what the manufacturer claims. In other words, you should generally save your money (e.g., fish oil does not actually improve your brain or heart health; over-supplementing on antioxidants causes, not prevents, disease; and many weight loss pills are simply several different sources of caffeine mixed together in one capsule). There are two exceptions. Creatine and Beta Alanine are perhaps the two exercise specific supplements that have been the most thoroughly researched, and which have yielded consistent results across many studies. They are inexpensive, commonly available, and helpful for busting plateaus (but by no means required for the general fitness enthusiast). First and foremost, you do not need to bother with either of these if you are looking to improve or maintain general fitness. If you aren’t exercising with enough frequency or intensity to force muscle growth or endurance, then you should not bother with these two powders either. Creatine is a hydrophilic molecule that your body already produces on its own. Supplementing with it is meant to augment and enhance its natural effects. Being hydrophilic, creatine draws water toward itself. It is found around muscle fibers, and it makes water available to muscles, so that they can use energy. In a process that is a mind bogglingly complex, water facilitates the production and availability of power. By supplementing with creatine, more water is stored between muscles fibers, which allows more energy to be produced and used, and thus gives muscles a bit more strength. Being able to move more resistance is of fundamental importance to triggering protein synthesis, which is itself what causes muscles to grow. Contrary to what many fear, creatine does not cause subdermal bloating. The water that is retained is kept between muscle cells, not under the skin. Rather than making someone look puffy, it makes them look tight and full. There is no need to take vast amounts of creatine to build it up in your system. It accumulates over the course of time, so taking 5g per day should get you gently toward your optimum level within a week or so. It doesn’t matter when you take it, because it will build up and remain in your system. If you stop taking it, it will gradually deplete itself, and the retained water will be eliminated. I also suggest against mega-dosing for a practical reason: Flooding your gut with large amounts of creatine will draw water into your bowel, and can cause explosive diarrhea. Be sure to drink lots of water, because some of it will be trapped around your muscles, and therefore unavailable to the rest of the body. Beta Alanine is the perfect companion to creatine. Creatine increases strength by making water available, and beta alanine improves endurance by helping to manage the pH balance within muscle cells. Using the two together you can increase your total

volume of strength training: You can create more effort Creatine power and Beta Alanine capsules for longer durations. aid in muscle development. (Photo Credit: Our body uses Eugeniusz Dudziński via Adobe Stock) chemical energy produced during the process of snapping a single phosphate on and off a molecule you might remember from high school biology. Adenosine triphosphate (ATP) has three phosphates, and adenosine diphosphate (ADP) has only two. The process of converting back and forth between the two is what generates the energy that powers all sorts of activities within the body. It requires water (hence creatine). The process also lowers the pH within muscles as it also releases hydrogen ions, and this increasing acidity is what eventually halts a muscle from firing. This increasing acidity is the “burn” you should feel as you approach the end of an appropriately challenging set. It is lactic acid, and it eventually prevents any further breakdown of glucose into energy, and thus shuts down muscle recruitment. Lactic acid is an important fuel source and it eventually prevents a muscle from contracting, but it is NOT the source of pain you feel in the days after an intense workout. That pain is the result of microscopic tears and inflammation, both of which are vital to forcing a muscle to repair itself and build more mass and strength. But acidity is one of the underlying factors that eventually exhausts a muscle and prevents further performance. This is where beta alanine helps with endurance. Supplementing it provides more of it to bond with histidine (another naturally occurring amino, generally kept at higher levels than beta alanine within muscles) to create carnosine. Carnosine bonds with hydrogen ions, delaying muscle fatigue by slowing the buildup of this acidic molecule, and allows a working muscle to continue firing for longer by allowing it to continue to break down glucose to ATP. Beta alanine also builds up in your system, so like creatine, it can be taken whenever it is convenient. The tingling you might feel is normal, and isn’t dangerous. It generally starts around 15-30 minutes after you ingest it, and passes within another 1530 minutes. These two supplements are well researched, and when taken properly they are safe. They aren’t crucial, but they can be helpful when you’re trying to work through particularly challenging strength or conditioning sessions. They help you lift, cycle and run with greater power for prolonged times, and thus effectively increase your performance. This ability to work harder and longer can help you to make faster strides toward your goals. : : Jack Kirven completed the MFA in Dance at UCLA, and earned certification as a personal trainer through NASM. His wellness philosophy is founded upon integrated lifestyles as opposed to isolated workouts. Visit him at jackkirven.com and INTEGRE8Twellness.com.

Sept. 6-19, 2019

qnotes

Sept. 6-19, 2019