QNotes, Sept. 26-Oct. 9, 2014 by QnotesCarolinas

Sept. 26-Oct. 9 . 2014

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Sept. 26-Oct. 9 . 2014

inside

qnotes news & features

news. views. Briefs arts. 6 entertainment. News Notes: Regional 7 News Notes: U.S./World Briefs 8 Census recognizes married couples

a&e / life&style 10 11 12 13 14 14 17 18 19

Women’s health tips Breast cancer 101 Women’s health concerns New CDC HIV campaign Jane’s World Tell Trinity Out in Print Q Events Calendar Our People: Name

opinions & views 4 4 5 5

Editor’s Note Spiritual Reflections TalkBack Guest Commentary

Asheville trans activist is featured in a new CDC HIV campaign

Sept. 26-Oct. 9 . 2014

qnotes

qnotes connect Sept. 26-Oct. 9 Vol 29 No 11

arts. entertainment. news. views. goqnotes.com twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue

Jennifer Barge, Adam Bell, Paige Braddock, Matt Comer, Esih Efuru, Stephen Longrove, Lainey Millen, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Trinity

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The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBT and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBT life and social justice issues. Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough

editor’s note by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

Anti-gay hate still alive in Charlotte Charlotte’s LGBT community has a lot of great things going for it — progress built from oppression and silence turned activism and courage over the past two decades. Twenty years ago, it was the Rev. Joe Chambers leading the march against us — protesting equality measures and championing the silencing of free speech and the stripping of public funding from the arts. Chambers is old now, less active than he used to be, but new leaders have jumped to the fore and they’re making sure that Charlotte retains its own home-grown sliver of anti-gay extremism and hate. Unlike Chambers, these leaders are louder, more organized, more wealthy and more connected to national anti-gay hate groups. On Sept. 14, the power of Charlotte’s anti-gay fringe took center stage at First Baptist Church. The church’s pastor, Dr. Mark Harris, introduced his nationally-broadcast event, “Star Spangled Sunday” to an exuberant crowd of supporters as a mere celebration of our beloved national anthem’s bicentennial. What followed, though, was no less a political rally meant to stoke the fires of right-wing hatred. Sponsoring the event was the Family Research Council, a Washington, D.C.-based anti-gay advocacy group so extreme in its hate and propaganda that the Southern Poverty Law Center has named it a hate group. It’s staff and “researchers” regularly repeat the lie that gay men are more likely to be rapists and child molesters, claiming gay men want access to the Boy Scouts and the U.S. military for “predatory purposes.” They’ve even come out in favor of criminalizing gay behavior and one of its staffers once said, in response to efforts to grant equal immigration rights to bi-national, same-sex couples , “I would much prefer to export homosexuals from the United States than import them.” The council’s president, Tony Perkins, was at the event, standing proudly in front of a huge U.S. flag draped over the organ at the front of the church’s sanctuary. Certainly, it was a far cry from Perkins’ appearance less than two decades ago — standing proudly in front of a Confederate flag — at a Louisiana white supremacist group’s meeting. Also present at the event were local anti-gay activists David and Jason Benham. The twin brothers’ father is Flip Benham, a street preacher who has regularly protested and harassed LGBT events and women’s health clinics — going so far as to have been found guilty of stalking a local abortion provider in 2011. The Benham bothers have learned much from their father and another local anti-gay extremist, Dr. Michael Brown. Each of them have

come to utilize powerful, militant and religiously-violent rhetoric in their calls for anti-gay “Christian” advocacy. “…[W]hen Satan steps into the octagon and he’s got rockets in one hand and bombs in another with Hamas, and ISIS, and this agenda to silence our freedoms in America,” David Benham proclaimed at the recent First Baptist event, “it is the Bride of Christ that steps in with our wedding gown on and combat boots on and a sword in our right hand and we will win in Jesus name.” Militarism and violence was certainly an ongoing theme that night, with former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee citing scripture to promote violence between Christians, Jews and Muslims. “I got good news for all the dispirited and disquieted Christians in America who somehow are afraid that the Sons of Ishmael who are challenging us now in the Middle East will overwhelm the Sons of Isaac,” Huckabee said. “Let me assure you, I have read the end of the Book! My dear friend, we win!” The event’s host, Dr. Harris, has himself become a go-to leader for Charlotte’s and North Carolina’s anti-LGBT extremist movement. Along with anti-gay activist Tami Fitzgerald, Harris led the Vote For Marriage NC referendum committee which successfully passed the state’s antigay marriage amendment in 2012. Harris also jumped into politics, taking his campaign for “family values” statewide in a (ultimately unsuccessful) bid to grab the Republican nomination for U.S. Senate. Two decades ago, LGBT people in Charlotte were the victims. No amount of protesting or activism could have stopped the anti-gay votes of our local leaders. We turned our “Angels in America” and arts funding loss in 1997 into a catalyst for change. We got more organized. We got smarter. We got more savvy. In the two decades since, we’ve accomplished a great deal. Today, I’d say we stand even with our opponents — no longer victims and ready to challenge their extremist agendas. To do so, we’ll have to remain vigilant. Events like First Baptist’s “Star Spangled Sunday” show us that anti-LGBT hate isn’t gone in Charlotte. It’s still here, present as it’s always been and, maybe, with a larger reach and broader regional and national power. It’ll be up to us to make sure that Charlotte continues to grow as a welcoming and inclusive city for all people. We can’t let Harris and his extremist colleagues have the last word. : :

Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Editor: Matt Comer, x202 editor@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen, x205 production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper. Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2014 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

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qnotes

spiritual reflections by Esih Efuru :: qnotes contributor

From storm to symphony It is a rainy summer morning and the streets outside are sodden with flower petals and muddy footsteps. The wind is blowing softly and the clouds are a soft gray. The rain tickles windowsills, dashboards and tree branches. I am meditating on my patio and marveling at the beauty of it all, the exchange comforting my heart as I witness nature taking care. The unrehearsed and unannounced gathering of elements are drawn together by an unspoken need and just above the tender rumbling of the patient sky, I hear the voice of God beckoning me to his presence. God wipes my tears and patiently listens to my song. When a soul longs for comfort and has searched all of the seemingly logical points of refuge, it becomes weary and collapses, tired from the chase. I have such a soul, one that aches for days when rest is as simple as the falling rain, where God can speak to me and remind me of how far I’ve come and point me in the direction of my greater purpose. The hush of the tree limbs cooing while I pray for peace is a sign that God will never place more weight on me than my shoulders can endure and that my current situation is just that: a situation. God has the ability to turn my storm into a symphony, where every ache of my heart is in alignment with my glorious future. When sorrow brings me to the edge of my seat, God turns my face just in time to see him working out the big finish, where I rise tall and walk into the sunset. The credits become a list of new mercies that encourage me to hold on to his unchanging hand. Situations are built into the brick and mortar of what we call human existence. They serve as our calisthenics, our independent study of divine intention and the order of prosperity. There is no escaping

Sept. 26-Oct. 9 . 2014

an uncomfortable or unfortunate situation; there is only our pathway through it. The love and power of God are coaches that help us find our steps as they have been ordered. We let our faith lead us into life’s next door of opportunity. If we don’t proceed, our greatness diminishes and loses its potency because we deny ourselves the opportunity to be refined. A situation will reveal your true strength, God’s divine intent and the world’s commitment to assist you. Your situations are executive assistants on alert to ensure that you are on course to graduate. When my soul is troubled and I have temporary moments of “insanity,” those moments where I am “out of the mind” of peace, love, order and faith, I get quiet and still and listen for the wind. The wind tells me where God is and I am not. It tells me what to listen for and who to pay attention to. It challenges me to breathe, stand still and to God’s reflection. As the tree branches sway and the rain cascades down the road, my soul is anchored in the promise of God’s faithfulness and covering and I am persuaded that my situation, like the wind, will pass. : : — Esih Efuru is a native of Newark, N.J., and hails from a legacy of singers, ministers and musicians. She published and performed poetry while a student at Rutgers University, and continued to write poetry and prose as she enjoyed a successful singing career in house music. Efuru answered her call to ministry in 1993 and joined the Unity Fellowship Church Movement, where she has served as a Reverend and Psalmist for over 20 years. She has published a collection of poems (Consilience), a novel (Earth) and a memoir, “Daughter: A Pre-K Memoir.” She currently teaches in Charlotte and runs an inspiration blog for PraiseCharlotte.com.

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guest commentary by Stephen Lovegrove :: guest contributor

The problem of privilege at Elevation Church Steven Furtick is the pastor of Elevation Church in Charlotte, N.C. Elevation is a church that exists “so that people far from God are raised to life in Christ.” They are easily the most well-known church in the Charlotte area with an average weekly attendance of 14,000. In their short history, they have consistently made headlines in Charlotte and nationally, sometimes positive and sometimes negative. Recently, Elevation Church began a series about relationships entitled Meant to Be. As a young gay man who identifies as a Christian, I have lots of questions about singleness, marriage, dating, sex and love. I used to attend Elevation every week, so I know that Steven Furtick is a compelling speaker who communicates effectively. Theoretically, a series on those topics would be very relevant and helpful for me as a 21-year-old college student. However, as I tuned in online to watch, it quickly became clear this series was not intended for me. A few minutes into the first sermon of the series, Steven Furtick admitted that his church often gets asked about their position on sexuality. Apparently, this is a common question about Elevation and one he seems to be tired of hearing. Furtick explained that their position is very simple. He quotes I Corinthians 7:2: “Each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband,” then repeats it patronizingly. He says it’s that easy — if you don’t have a wife, you don’t get to have sex. Then he moves on. And that’s where I got concerned. I believe that message is deeply problematic for three reasons. 1. This message is clouded by privilege: Not every person is having the same experience of life in this country or in the evangelical church. As a white cisgender wealthy heterosexual Christian man, Steven Furtick is always speaking from a place of privilege. That’s not his fault and there’s nothing wrong with privilege. But, it’s important that all people, especially spiritual leaders, recognize their privilege and acknowledge that not everyone has the same experience. To Steven Furtick, I Corinthians 7:2 is a valid and complete theology on its own. He has a wife, so he gets to have sex. Plain and simple, right? But, it’s not that easy for everyone. I don’t have a wife and I will never have a wife. If I want to have sex, the answer is not for me to get a wife, because I have no physical/emotional/romantic/sexual attraction to women. So, that verse is a lot more complicated when it comes to my life.

Instead of acknowledging the complexity of applying the passage to all audiences, Steven Furtick chooses to view it only through the lens of his privilege. That makes for great rhetoric, but it does not meet people where they’re at. Unless Elevation wants to be a church only for privileged people, the narrative will have to change to include people outside the walls of inequality. I believe checking our privilege is the Christian way. Philippians 2:4 encourages believers about “not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” The body of Christ has to be a place where we consider and look out for those different from us. 2. This tactic erases an entire group of people: Charlotte is a very progressive city for this region of the country. The city’s gay index actually indicates that Charlotte has a significantly larger percentage of LGBTQ people within city limits than the national average. We’re not talking about a small town with a few closeted individuals that go unnoticed. This city has a massive queer population, the second highest in the state. This year, Charlotte’s Pride broke a record with over 100,000 people in attendance. (Elevation can’t have missed this event because it has a campus on the same street as Pride.) Steven Furtick has to be aware that his city is full of LGBTQ people. Recent political momentum all across the country and the ongoing discussions of human rights policy in North Carolina have thrown every citizen into this conversation. To preach in a way that doesn’t even acknowledge queer people are there is at best confusing and at worst deeply offensive to my community. No matter what your intention is, you can’t erase people in sermons and expect them to keep showing up. The evangelical church is certainly divided right now when it comes to how they love LGBTQ people, not just what theological position to hold, but how to apply it practically. All evidence suggests that this debate is not going away in the church anytime soon. Regardless of our differences, I hope we can all agree on one point. Loving people begins by acknowledging they exist. Simple acknowledgement would seem to be a necessary starting point for love. The Golden Rule is still helpful in this discussion: “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.” (Matthew 7:12) 3. This message gives no real answers to LGBTQ people: Steven Furtick acts like his theology is clear and obvious. He patronizingly asks the con-

talkback Letters to the editor and comments from goqnotes.com. and facebook.com/ qnotescarolinas. Web comments are not edited for grammar or punctuation. Pittenger and discrimination A reader’s thoughts in response to U.S. Rep. Robert Pittenger’s comments defending antiLGBT employment discrimination (goqnotes. com/31289/): I honestly cannot believe we are still having this discussion! I think the federal government’s duty is to protect the rights of all when it comes to employment! The duty of employers is to hire the best person for the

specific job it regardless of sexual orientation! Pittinger is one of those people that secretly believes race should also be a consideration in the hiring practices of employers. Charlotte cannot afford to go backwards at this stage of globalization! — Eady Wilson, letter, Sept.17 Sports reporting A reader responds to Wake Forest University’s sports marketing company plans

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gregation to repeat after him, making it sound like anyone who doesn’t get it is mentally slow. Then he moves on like everything has been settled. The problem is, Steven Furtick gave absolutely no practical answers. I am reminded of the believer’s question found in Scripture: “How then should we live?” If you accept Steven Furtick’s theology and believe that sex is always wrong without a wife, where does that leave you? How should a queer person view their sexuality? Is there any hope? What is the right course of action for someone in a gender or sexual minority? Though Steven Furtick does preach to straight single adults about abstinence, he still offers them the hope of marriage, reminding them that sex is a wonderful gift in that context. But, while pointing straight singles to a healthy expression of their passion in the future, he has no solution for anyone who is not heterosexual. Furtick leaves LGBTQ people with no answers and no hope, just the sense that something is wrong with them for missing the obvious. Christians are called to “encourage each other and build each other up.” (I Thessalonians 5:11) That means we do the work to find ways to address the unique challenges faced by LGBTQ believers and support them in any way we can. If I sound angry in this article, you have picked up on genuine frustration and discouragement watching all of this unfold. I used to love Elevation. I tithed and gave and volunteered and invited everyone I knew, telling them it was the best church I had ever found. To this day, I believe there are dozens of wonderful people on staff and on volunteer teams there who have a big heart for people and for this city. I’ve even talked to staff members who specifically feel burdened to reach out to LGBTQ people and that is why I have hope in this situation. Ultimately, this is not an article about a specific person, church, or sermon. This is about systems of oppression that Christians continue to participate in, usually accidentally. My goal here is to call us back to the liberating truth of the Gospel and the justice commanded by God over and over again. I don’t want Elevation Church to fail. I desperately want them to succeed at loving people like Jesus. : : — Stephen Lovegrove is the student director of Safe Zones at Winthrop University. He is also an Emerging Leader involved with Human Rights Campaign and Time Out Youth locally, and he is passionate about equality and justice in the intersections of sexuality and spirituality. You can find Stephen online at stephenlovegrove.us, where this commentary was originally published on Sept. 11, 2014. Reprinted with permission.

to air its football and basketball games on an anti-gay Christian radio network (goqnotes. com/31108): I am terribly disappointed that WFU sports events are being broadcast by stations that are part of the homophobic Truth Network. I am a straight ally of LGBT people in general, and my husband and I have many friends who are gay men and lesbian women. I hope this poor decision can be rectified. And not repeated in the future. Wake doesn’t disappoint me very often, but it certainly did in this instance. — Linda Louise Aldridge (B.A., ‘72) Stroupe, letter, Sept. 10

Sept. 26-Oct. 9 . 2014

qnotes

news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen & Matt Comer

Seniors network slates meeting CHARLOTTE — The LGBT Aging Solutions Network will hold its monthly meeting on Oct. 20, 7 p.m., at PACE, 6133 The Plaza. Representatives from Time Out Youth Center will be attending as guests and will share their story. Reservations are requested. Email clt. lgbt.elders@gmail.com to sign up. In other news, Katie Kutcher, education program manager with Mecklenburg Council on Aging, will hold a volunteer transportation service training on Oct. 16. RSVP is required to attend. Email her at kkutcher@charmeckcoa.org to learn more and to sign up. On Nov. 7, 8 a.m.-4 p.m., at Friendship Missionary Baptist Church, 3400 Beatties Ford Rd., the Centralina Area Agency on Aging Annual Conference will take place. The program is entitled “2014: The Power of Agency.” This is one of the largest one-day educational conferences on aging and healthcare issues in the Charlotte region. The baby boomers have come of age and over 10,000 people a day are turning 65. To prepare for this change and be able to address the needs of the aging population, new concepts for old approaches will be necessary. New approaches will be discussed, as well as the wide range of possibilities in delivering a new, person-centered delivery system for seniors in North Carolina. Featured keynote speaker is G. Allen Power, an internist, geriatrician and clinical associate professor of medicine at the University of Rochester, Rochester, N.Y. He is also a Certified Eden Alternative Educator, a member of the Eden Alternative board of directors and an international educator on transformational models of care for older adults, particularly those living with changing cognitive abilities. He will speak on “Dementia Beyond Disease: Enhancing WellBeing” during his address. The afternoon will include a choice of practical, skills-based workshops. Other conference activities will include an exhibit hall with over 50 exhibitors from the aging and healthcare field, in addition to a resource table with books and DVDs available for sale. Nursing Continuing Education Units (application pending approval for 5.25 contact hours) are available at no additional cost. A complete itinerary is available on the conference website. Registration is $50. Deadline is Oct. 27. info: charmeckcoa.org. cvent.com/events/ 2014-aging-conference-the-power-of-aging/event-summary-02c7cb7b16234ce5b784b3fadb79a4f0.aspx. — L.M.

Charlotte Affinity group hosts party

CHARLOTTE — The Out on the Town affinity group from Blumenthal Performing Arts Center will hold a pre-show party prior to “Once” on Oct. 2, 6 p.m., at Blue Restaurant and Bar, 206 N. College St. Email bcarter@ncbpac.org to attend. “Once” is a Tony-award winning musical that tells the tale of a Dublin street musician who is about to give up on his dream when a beautiful young woman takes a sudden interest in his haunting love songs. Tickets for the performance are $30 for price zone 30 seating only and are available online. info: blumenthalarts.org/brands/detail/ outonthetown. — L.M.

Youth network holds meeting

CHARLOTTE — A GSA Network leadership meeting will be held on Oct. 4, 10 a.m., at Time Out Youth Center (TOY), 2320 N. Davidson St. With October being LGBT History Month, this gathering will provide ideas for program-

qnotes

ming GSA meetings for the month of October and beyond. GSA members from schools throughout the Charlotte region will gather at TOY to gain strategies for organizing their clubs, make connections with other GSAs and leaders in the area and plan events for the fall term, organizers said. In other news, TOY announced that the Carolina Conference on Queen Youth will be held on Oct. 17, 8 a.m.-5 p.m., at the Barnhart Student Union at the University of North Carolina - Charlotte, 9201 University City Blvd. The one day conference is open to the public with conference sessions targeting counselors, social workers, educators, parents, activists and students. Continuing education credit is available for social workers through UNC-Charlotte and educators through Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools. Registration is free and includes breakfast, lunch and snacks. Parking is $10 per vehicle. Registration is available online. info: facebook.com/events/455473761258390/. trosendahl@timeoutyouth.org. 704-344-8335, ext. 603. timeoutyouth.org/conference/. — L.M.

Sept. 26-Oct. 9 . 2014

Benefit upcoming

CHARLOTTE — The 5th Annual Evening of Hope and Inspiration will be held on Nov. 15, 7 p.m., at McGlohon Theatre at Spirit Square, 345 N. College St. The event will feature Linda Gray, television star of “Dallas,” who will be accepting the Hope and Inspiration Humanitarian Award. She will be on hand for a Q&A session after the program. The Talley Trio, Grammy and Dove awardwinning recording artists will bring their southern gospel music to the event. VIP packages are available and include a reserved seat ticket, with guarantee in the first four rows of the theatre, private reception in the Duke Energy Theatre at 5:30 p.m., one complimentary drink ticket, cash bar, hot appetizers, dessert, fruit, swag bag from event sponsors, and a photo and autograph opportunity with Gray. Tickets are $15-$35 and are available online. info: differentroadshome.org. — L.M.

PFLAG hosts Stroupe

CONCORD — Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays Concord/Kannapolis will hold its monthly gathering on Oct. 14 with dinner at 5:30 p.m. at The Pizza Loft, 16 Union St. S. and afterward at 7 p.m. at Central United Methodist Church, 30 Union Street N., for the meeting. PFLAG Regional Director Linda Stroupe from the South Atlantic Region will join attendees for the evening. RSVP dagjag@carolina.rr.com to reserve a seat. info: ckpflag@gmail.com. — L.M.

Triad Oz comes alive for Pride

Festival goers head back to Kansas on Oct. 19 with a Drag Brunch Crawl down 4th St. at 11 a.m. The Pride Winston-Salem No Place Like Home Parade along 4th St. at Trade St., culminates the event. Grand marshals are Tim Young, Mark Maxwell and their family. The couple worked closely with the Campaign for Southern Equality and Freedom to Marry, serving as advocates on the forefront of marriage equality and second-parent adoption. The Campaign for Southern Equality will present its Community Law Workshop, funded in part by a grant from The Adam Foundation. Free legal services to LGBT families will be made available during the street festival, including the opportunity to complete a Health Care Power of Attorney document. info: pridews.org. — L.M.

It’s movie time

WINSTON-SALEM — Out at the Movies will present a screening of “Living in the Overlap” on Oct. 11, 7 p.m., at Green Street United Methodist Church, 639 S Green St. Written by Mary Dalton and directed by Dalton and Cindy Hill, the film tells the story of Lennie Gerber and Pearl Perlin, a senior lesbian couple who have been together for decades. They will be present for the showing and at a post-screening Q&A. Admission is free. Contributions to Green Street UMC are suggested and welcome. info: outatthemovies.org. — L.M.

Gay tour hits Triad

GREENSBORO — Comedian Sara Benincasa’s “This Tour is So Gay” show will be held on Oct. 13, 8 p.m., at Geeksboro Coffeehouse Cinema, 2134 Lawndale Dr. The tour performance is a fundraiser for #GetEngagedNCYouth, Equality North Carolina’s youth program. Joining Benincasa is Joanne Spataro and Ben Church. Spataro hails from Charlotte, N.C., and is a writer and web series host for “Pillow Talk with Joanne.” Church serves as director of community engagement for Equality North Carolina. Tickets are $10 and available online. info: geeksboro.com. — L.M.

WINSTON-SALEM — Dorothy tapped her heels together and said, “There’s no place like home,” and she was magically returned to her home. And, that’s what is going to happen when Pride Winston-Salem rolls out its upcoming celebration from Oct. 17-19. Leading up to the festival is the Mr. and Miss Pride Winston-Salem Pageant on Oct. 4 at Club Snap, 1001 Burke St. Wake up in Oz on Oct. 11 with the Rainbow Run 5K at 9 a.m. at Washington Park Neighborhood. Cost is $25/until Oct. 1, $30/after ‘Union in Wait’ comes to DVD Oct. 1 and $35/race day. Awards will go to the top WINSTON-SALEM — For the first time in three male and female runners. Also, Best Male over a decade, a landmark local documentary and Female Pride Attire will be awarded. Sign up is available for sale on DVD. “A Union in Wait” and packet pick-up information and location is details the controversy after a same-sex couple available online until Oct. 8, 6 p.m., at active.com requested to hold a holy commitment service and on location on the day of the race. at their church. The problem? Wake Forest Start down the Little Brick Road with a Baptist met in the campus chapel of Wake stop off at the kick-off party on Oct. 17 at the Forest University, then affiliated with the North Piedmont Club, 19th Floor, BB&T Bank Building, Carolina Baptist Convention. 200 W. 2nd St. Participate in the silent auction, view a live art exhibit and enjoy live music, heavy hors d’oeuvres and a cash bar. Tickets are $35, advance, $50/at the door. The No Place Like Home Street Festival and Food Truck Rodeo follows on Oct. 18 on Trade St. from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Two stages will roll out entertainment from artists like DJ and recording artist Bootz Durango, and Ultra Naté. The festivities continue at the official Pride after-party at Millennium Center Speakeasy, 101 Photo Credit: Production still] W 5th St., with MisterBailey and DJ Ultra Naté. Tickets are $15/advance, $20/at the door. Visit the website to purchase. see News Notes on 13

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news

news notes: u.s./world. Transgender teen crowned homecoming king HOUSTON — A Houston-area high school is the latest to crown a transgender teen as homecoming royalty. Mel Gonzales, a transgender student at Stephen F. Austin High School in Sugar Land, Texas, was crowned Homecoming King in mid September. Gonzales tells Project Q Houston that winning the crown proves that acceptance is growing for people who identify “outside of the gender binary.” Days before the announcement of his win, Gonzales had written a message for his classmates on social media. It read: “I never wanted to make it as (homecoming king) a popularity contest. Rather, I wanted to prove that an openly transgender male could make court. I don’t want to be just your homecoming king — I want to be your femaleto-male homecoming king.

“It may not be a big deal to you, but this is for my LGBT community, for my Gay-Straight Alliance, and for my underdogs who don’t get enough representation. You are capable, so always keep at it.” On the same weekend, Scarlett Lenh, a transgender student at Sand Creek High School in Colorado Springs, Colo., was crowned homecoming princess after receiving the majority of the votes from her junior class, besting three other girls for the honor. Gonzales and Lenh follow a similar landmark win last spring by Charlotte’s Blake Brockington, who was crowned homecoming king at East Mecklenburg High School. Read an interview with Gonzales at Project Q Houston at bit.ly/1o9zxtM and read more about Brockington at goqnotes.com/27414/. : : — LGBTQ Nation (lgbtqnation.com), a qnotes news partner.

Stephen F. Austin High School Homecoming King Mel Gonzales, right, stands with his reigning homecoming queen. Photo Credit: Mel Gonzales/ Facebook

QUICK HITS ———————————————————————————————————————— The Republican-controlled Virginia House of Delegates have passed a resolution giving it authority to hire legal counsel to defend the commonwealth’s anti-LGBT marriage amendment, something Atty. Gen. Mark Herring has opted not to do. more: bit.ly/ZuXPss

Openly gay U.S. Rep. Jared Polis (D-Colo.) has filed a petition that could force a House vote on the Employment Non-Discrimination Act. Polis’ version includes a more narrow religious exemption; some activists had condemned a more broadly-worded version. more: bit.ly/1ukpkOC

An assistant coach at a Pennsylvania Roman Catholic high school has resigned over his connection to an anti-gay beating that left two men injured. About a dozen alumni from the school are suspected in the attack. more: bit.ly/1mmGTik

An Ugandan gay activist will be granted asylum in the U.S. John “Longjones” Abdallah Wambere had been a prominent activist for over 17 years in the extremely anti-gay African nation. more: bit.ly/1sEPREe

Sept. 26-Oct. 9 . 2014

qnotes

news Census now recognizes same-sex married couples as ‘families’ goqnotes.com/to/news

Annual census survey finds nearly 30,000 same-sex couples in Carolinas by Adam Bell :: The Charlotte Observer

CHARLOTTE — New census data released on Sept. 18 made a simple but substantial change in categorizing same-sex married couples: They now are considered families. In prior years, the U.S. Census Bureau counted such couples as “unmarried partners,” even if they were legally married. But now, starting with the new annual American Community Survey, they are in among the family totals. The change delighted Lynn Helms and Laura Murphey, a Stallings couple who got married in Washington, D.C., in 2011. They also have a 10-year-old son. “We certainly talk about us as a family,” Helms said. “It’s nice for the census to come into this century and do the same.” Murphey agreed and called the change an important step in acknowledging the diversity of American culture. “It’s nice to be recognized,” Murphey said. “We see each other as a married couple on a day-to-day basis. (The census change) makes a difference in the bigger picture.” That picture includes nearly 56 million married-couple households in the nation last year, according to the new estimates. Samesex couples accounted for a sliver of that total, some 251,695 homes.

The Census Bureau now counts Lynn Helms, left, and Laura Murphey, who are married and have a son, as a family. Photo Credit: Robert Lahser/Charlotte Observer

In North Carolina, there were an estimated 19,327 households with same-sex couples, including 6,469 homes, or nearly 34 percent, with married couples. In 2012, an estimated 27 percent of same-sex couples were married, the data showed. South Carolina had 8,347 same-sex couple households, including 2,583 homes, or 31 percent, with married couples. The previous year, about 28 percent of same-sex couples were married. Same-sex couples who live together but are not married are still counted as “unmarried partners,” the same designation for unmarried opposite-sex couples. The Census Bureau has counted same-sex couples since 1990. The change in handling same-sex married couples followed the June 2013 U.S. Supreme Court decision that struck down a key part of the Defense of Marriage Act, said Rose Kreider, chief of the Census Bureau’s Fertility and Family Statistics Branch. Gay married couples in states where that practice is legal must receive the same federal benefits that other married couples receive, the court ruled. “The (census) change makes sense given the Supreme Court decision,” Kreider said. Nineteen states and the District of Columbia allow same-sex marriages, a movement that began a decade ago in Massachusetts. Legal challenges continue to percolate, and the U.S. Supreme Court is ultimately expected to settle the issue. North Carolina passed a same-sex marriage ban, known as Amendment One, in 2012. But in July, Attorney General Roy Cooper said the state will stop defending the ban after a federal appeals court ruled Virginia’s ban unconstitutional. A McClatchy poll released last month found 54 percent of Americans support gay marriage, which is double the total for 1996. Reflection of society Gary Gates, a UCLA expert in demographics of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans-

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Sept. 26-Oct. 9 . 2014

gender community, called the census move a welcome one. “It’s a very positive step that comports with the law and more closely (reflects) how society understands same-sex couples and their families,” he said. The change, however, won’t have a big effect on overall family statistics given how small the same-sex totals are, Gates said. And there is a chance some opposite-sex couples checked the wrong box and were counted in the same-sex figures. Unlike the decennial census that goes to every household in the country, the annual ACS makes an estimate based on a sample survey. Some 3.5 million households across the nation were surveyed throughout last year for the ACS, including about 161,000 in the Carolinas. As it does with other questions, the Census Bureau is refining how it asks people to report their marital status and hopes to get more accurate same-sex responses when it counts couples in the 2020 decennial census. ‘Strengthen the family’ The Rev. Robin Tanner of Piedmont Unitarian Universalist Church in Charlotte has officiated at same-sex weddings out of state for her congregants. She praised the census move. “It can only strengthen the family structure to have all families literally counted,” Tanner said. Among the weddings she presided over was for Cornelius resident Elaine Deck and her partner in May in Washington, D.C. Deck agreed with Murphey and Helms that the census move was an encouraging one. “It further legitimizes our status as families,” she said. : : — This article was originally published by The Charlotte Observer on Sept 18. It is reprinted with permission. qnotes is a member of The Observer’s Charlotte News Alliance.

Ask Dr. C…HIV and healthcare advice

Helping to keep you in the know with up-to-date information by Frederick Cruickshank ~ Medical Director

After many successful installments of “Ask Dr. C” in the past, Rosedale wants to bring back this opportunity to offer our readers information about infectious disease from basic questions to in-depths explanations. The questions have provided us a forum to debunk myths and remove stigma from those living with HIV and AIDS. In addition, we would like to address any of your concerns about sexual health. It is important to educate yourself, get tested, and protect yourself! Send your questions to info@rosedaleid.com. Dr. C looks forward to responding to as many emails as possible. I get tested for HIV regularly, should I also be getting tested for hepatitis C? — Tito from Charlotte Tito, I am glad to hear that you receive

HIV testing regularly. Hepatitis C is a disease caused by a virus that infects the liver. In time it can lead to permanent liver damage as well as cirrhosis, liver cancer, and liver failure. Many people don’t know that they have hepatitis C until they already have some liver damage. Although hepatitis C can be very serious, people can manage the disease and lead active, full lives. Early detection is key to treatment, so it is definitely important to get tested when available if you think you may be at risk. Hepatitis C is caused by the hepatitis C virus (HCV). It is spread by contact with the infected person’s blood. Common routes of transmission include sharing needles for illegal drug use and tattoo or piercing with an infected needle. You cannot get hepatitis C from casual contact such as hugging, kissing, sneezing, coughing, or sharing food/drink. Most people do not experience symptoms when they are first infected. When symptoms do appear they include feeling tired, joint pain, belly pain, itchy skin, sore muscles, dark urine, and/or yellowish eyes and skin. If you are interested in free HCV rapid testing, please feel free to call us at 704-948-8582 and set up an appointment.

I have had multiple sexual partners over the past year. Could I have a sexually transmitted infection (STI) and not know it? — Jamaal from Charlotte Jamaal, this is a great question. Most of my patients assume that if they don’t have symptoms, then they are clear of STIs. This is not always the case. Sometimes symptoms are mild, sometimes they can be mistaken for other conditions, and sometimes there are no symptoms at all. Even without symptoms, STIs can cause serious health problems. STDs are common. There are about 20 million new cases of STDs in the U.S. each year. More than half of adults will have one in their lifetime. If you haven’t been tested, you could pass an STD on to someone else. Even though you don’t have symptoms, it can be dangerous to your health and the health of your partner. Some STDs, including chlamydia and gonorrhea, can cause infertility. This is especially true for women. These diseases can cause pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), an infection of the uterus and other reproductive organs. PID can raise a woman’s risk for ectopic pregnancy, a pregnancy outside the womb. Other STDs, such as syphilis and HIV,

can be deadly if untreated. Left untreated for years, syphilis can also seriously damage your brain, nervous system, and heart. Certain strains of HPV can cause cervical cancer in women, cancer of the penis in men, and cancer of the anus in both men and women. The only way you can rule out STIs is to get tested regularly. The staff at Rosedale ID would love to talk to you about any of your STI concerns and schedule you testing at our office. Always remember that this is an advice column based on your questions and the best possible knowledge out there. We need your questions to help educate the community, so email them to info@rosedaleid.com and be sure to include a first name and location. All respondents will remain anonymous. We will try to do our best to answer, educate, and inform from your responses to this column. Don’t forget to visit our website at rosedaleid.com and friend us on Facebook for community and clinical updates. — Sponsored Content —

Sept. 26-Oct. 9 . 2014

qnotes

Tips for Women:

Protecting your health Simple steps to prevent illness and improve your health What can lesbian and bisexual women do to protect their health? Find a doctor who is sensitive to your needs and will help you get regular check-ups. The Gay and Lesbian Medical Association provides online health care referrals. You can access its Provider Directory at glma.org or contact the Association at 202-600-8037. Get a Pap test. The Pap test finds changes in your cervix early, so you can be treated before a problem becomes serious. Begin getting Pap tests at age 21. In your 20s, get a Pap test every two years. Women 30 and older should get a Pap test every three years. If you are HIV-positive, your doctor may recommend more frequent testing. Get an HPV test. Combined with a Pap test, an HPV test helps prevent cervical cancer. It can detect the types of HPV that cause cervical cancer. Talk to your doctor about an HPV test if you’ve had an abnormal Pap or if you’re 30 or older. Talk to your doctor or nurse about other screening tests you may need. You need regular preventive screenings to stay healthy. Lesbian and bisexual women need all the same tests that heterosexual women do. Learn more about what tests you need, based on your age at womenshealth.gov/screeningtests-and-vaccines/. Practice safer sex. Get tested for STIs before starting a sexual relationship. If you are unsure about a partner’s status, practice methods to reduce the chances of sharing vaginal fluid, semen or blood. If you have sex with men, use a condom every time. You should also use condoms on sex toys. Oral sex with men or with women can also spread STIs, including, rarely, HIV. HIV can potentially be passed through a

mucous membrane (such as the mouth) by vaginal fluids or blood, especially if the membrane is torn or cut. Eat a balanced, healthy diet. Your diet should include a variety of whole grains, fruits and vegetables. These foods give you energy, plus vitamins, minerals and fiber. Reduce the amount of sodium you eat to less than 2,300 mg per day. Drink moderately. If you drink alcohol, don’t have more than one drink per day. Too much alcohol raises blood pressure and can increase your risk for stroke, heart disease, osteoporosis, many cancers and other problems. Get moving. An active lifestyle can help any woman. You will benefit most from about two hours and 30 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic physical activity each week. More physical activity means additional health and fitness benefits. On two or more days every week, adults should engage in muscle-strengthening activities, such as lifting weights or doing squats or push-ups. Don’t smoke. If you do smoke, try to quit. Learn more about how to stop smoking at womenshealth. gov/smoking-how-to-quit/. Avoid secondhand smoke as much as you can. Try different things to deal with your stress. Stress from discrimination and from loneliness is hard for every lesbian and bisexual woman. Relax using deep breathing, yoga, meditation and massage therapy. You can also take a few minutes to sit and listen to soft music or read a book. Talk to your friends or get help from a mental health professional if you need it. Get help for domestic violence. Call the police or leave if you or your children are in danger. Call a crisis hotline or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799SAFE or TDD 800-787-3224, which is available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, in English, Spanish and other languages. The helpline can give you the phone numbers of local hotlines and other resources.

see Women’s on 16

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life

Breast Cancer 101 Tips and info on breast cancer detection, treatment and more of women, after lung cancer. Every woman has a chance of getting breast cancer. About 1 in 8 women will find out she has breast cancer at some point in her life. This might sound scary. But today, most women with breast cancer survive it. With breast cancer screening, including mammograms, doctors often can find cancer early. Treatment has the best chance of success when cancer is found early. What is a mammogram? A mammogram is a low-dose x-ray exam of the breasts to look for changes that are not normal. The results are recorded on x-ray film or directly into a computer for a doctor called a radiologist to examine. A mammogram allows the doctor to have a closer look for changes in breast tissue that cannot be felt during a breast exam. It is used for women who have no breast complaints and for women who have breast symptoms, such as a change in the shape or size of a breast, a lump, nipple discharge, or pain. Breast changes occur in almost all women. In fact, most of these changes are not cancer and are called “benign,” but only a doctor can know for sure. Breast changes can also happen monthly, due to your menstrual period. How is a mammogram done? Breast cancer screening via mammography. You stand in front of a special x-ray Photo Credit: Rhoda Baer via National Cancer Institute, a division machine. The person who takes the of the National Institutes of Health x-rays, called a radiologic technician,

What is breast cancer? Cancer is a disease in which cells become abnormal and form more cells in an uncontrolled way. With breast cancer, the cancer begins in cells that make up the breasts — usually in the tubes that carry milk to the nipple or the glands that make milk. The cancerous cells form a mass of tissue called a tumor. Sometimes, the cancer spreads to other parts of the body. Why should I be concerned about breast cancer? Other than skin cancer, breast cancer is the most common cancer in American women. It also is the second-leading cancer killer

places your breasts, one at a time, between an x-ray plate and a plastic plate. These plates are attached to the x-ray machine and compress the breasts to flatten them. This spreads the breast tissue out to obtain a clearer picture. You will feel pressure on your breast for a few seconds. It may cause you some discomfort; you might feel squeezed or pinched. This feeling only lasts for a few seconds, and the flatter your breast, the better the picture. Most often, two pictures are taken of each breast — one from the side and one from above. A screening mammogram takes about 20 minutes from start to finish. How often should I get a mammogram? The United States Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF) recommends: (a) Women ages 50 to 74 years should get a mammogram every 2 years, and (b) Women younger than age 50 should talk to a doctor about when to start and how often to have a mammogram. : : — Courtesy the Office of Women’s Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, at womenashealth.gov. Reviewed in part by Worta McCaskill-Stevens, M.D., Community Oncology and Prevention Trials Research Group, Division of Cancer Prevention, National Cancer Institute, National Institutes of Health, and Richard E. Manrow, Ph.D., Associate Director, Office of Cancer Content Management, Office of Communications and Education, National Cancer Institute, National Institutes of Health.

Sept. 26-Oct. 9 . 2014

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Lesbian and bisexual women’s health topics Important health issues to discuss with your physician All women have specific health risks and can take steps to improve their health through regular medical care and healthy living. Research tells us that lesbian and bisexual women are at a higher risk for certain problems than other women are, though. It is important for lesbian and bisexual women to talk to their doctors about their health concerns, which include: Heart disease: Heart disease is the number one killer of all women. The more risk factors you have, the greater the chance that you will develop heart disease. There are some risk factors that you cannot control, such as age, family health history and race. But, you can protect yourself from heart disease by not smoking, controlling your blood pressure and cholesterol, exercising and eating well. These things also help prevent type 2 diabetes, a leading cause of heart disease. Lesbians and bisexual women have a higher rate of obesity, smoking and stress. All of these are risk factors for heart disease. As such, lesbians and bisexual women should talk with their doctors about how to prevent heart disease. Cancer: The most common cancers for all women are breast, lung, colon, uterine and ovarian. Several factors put lesbian and bisexual women at higher risk for developing some cancers. Remember: • Lesbians are less likely than heterosexual women to have had a full-term pregnancy. Hormones released during pregnancy and breastfeeding are thought to protect women against breast, endometrial and ovarian cancers. • Lesbians and bisexual women are less likely to get

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Sept. 26-Oct. 9 . 2014

routine screenings, such as a Pap test, which can prevent or detect cervical cancer. The viruses that cause most cervical cancer can be sexually transmitted between women. Bisexual women, who may be less likely than lesbians to have health insurance, are even more likely to skip these tests. • Lesbians and bisexual women are less likely than other women to get routine mammograms and clinical breast exams. This may be due to lesbians’ and bisexuals’ lack of health insurance, fear of discrimination or bad experiences with healthcare professionals. Failure to get these tests lowers women’s chances of catching cancer early enough for treatments to work. • Lesbians are more likely to smoke than heterosexual women are and bisexual women are the most likely to smoke. This increases the risk for lung cancer in all women who have sex with women. Depression and anxiety: Many factors cause depression and anxiety among all women. However, lesbian and bisexual women report higher rates of depression and anxiety than other women do. Bisexual women are even more likely than lesbians to have had a mood or anxiety disorder. Depression and anxiety in lesbian and bisexual women may be due to: social stigma; rejection by family members; abuse and violence; unfair treatment in the legal system; stress from hiding some or all parts of one’s life; and lack of health insurance Lesbians and bisexuals often feel they have to hide their sexual orientation from family, friends and employers. Bisexual women may feel even more alone because they don’t feel included in either the heterosexual community or the gay and lesbian community. Lesbians and bisexuals can also be victims of hate crimes and violence. Discrimination against these groups does exist and can lead to depression and anxiety. Women can reach out to their doctors, mental health professionals and area support groups for help dealing with depression or anxiety. These conditions are treatable and with help, women can overcome them. Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS): PCOS is the most common hormonal problem of the reproductive system in women of childbearing age. PCOS is a health problem that can affect a woman’s: menstrual cycle (monthly bleeding); fertility (ability to get pregnant); hormones; insulin production; heart; blood vessels; and appearance. Five to 10 percent of women of childbearing age have PCOS. Lesbians may have a higher rate of PCOS than heterosexual women. : : — Courtesy the Office of Women’s Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, at womenashealth.gov. Reviewed by Susan Cochran, Ph.D., M.S., Professor of Epidemiology, UCLA School of Public Health.

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life

New national CDC campaign features Asheville transwoman Commentary: Campaign educates on HIV and transgender people by Jennifer Barge :: guest contributor

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) just launched a new HIV awareness campaign this past month, “HIV Treatment Works!” The campaign is the first of its kind, utilizing the stories and faces of people who are living with HIV and are on treatment for the condition. Fifteen people across the country were chosen to share their challenges and successes with staying in treatment for HIV. The campaign will feature print ads for magazines, posters and billboards. Participants also created public service announcements which will be hitting cable stations over the next few months. As a local resident of Asheville, and a long-time survivor of HIV/AIDS, I was thrilled to be asked to be one of the 15 people to take part in the campaign. It is a groundbreaking project showing that an HIV/AIDS positive diagnosis does not have to be the end, but instead the disease can be managed and risk of transmission can be diminished. The campaign urges people who have HIV to seek medical care, start taking medications and adhere to treatment. I was pleased to bring national focus to North Carolina, especially the western part of the state as we are continually over-looked for funding in regard to HIV/AIDS. By choosing me, the CDC for the first time also chose to use a transgender person as a spokesperson. As a transwoman who survived an AIDS diagnosis about 18 years ago, when I was told I would be dead in about four weeks, this campaign is important because the stigma related to both HIV and transgender is commonplace in my life. The fact that the CDC wanted to use my face and voice to help educate others is a millstone for both the HIV/AIDS communities and the transgender community. It has been my work for the past eight years to help normalize the mainstream perception of of what transgender is by being out and open about my gender status, while also being open about my HIV status and bringing the topic of HIV and AIDS to any venue

News Notes continued from page 6 Documentary filmmaker Ryan Butler directed and produced the film, which was finished in 2001. Butler had been a student at the University of North Carolina School of the Arts. Butler’s film was aired on Sundance Channel, becoming the first documentary on same-sex marriage to air on national TV. It was also shown at a variety of film festivals. But, it was never released for public sale. Frameline, an LGBT educational video distributor, had made it available to libraries and schools. That’s now changed, with copies of the DVD now on sale at Amazon.com and Butler said the film should also be set up for streaming on Amazon Prime sometime in the next several months. info: amazon.com/A-Union-Wait-Susan-Parker/ dp/B00MAS08FW. — M.C.

MCC hits 20 years

WINSTON-SALEM — Metropolitan Community Church Winston-Salem, 4105 Patsy Dr., reached a milestone in September when it celebrated its 20th anniversary from Sept. 5-7. The celebration kicked off with a hot dog dinner and talent show on Sept. 5. The next day a workshop series, “Church as Healing Community,” gathered congregants from across the area to engage in the conversation. Rev. Dr. Robert Griffin, a member of MCC’s governing board, served as the keynote presenter. That evening the church hosted “An Emerald

that I can. I feelthis campaign is another way for me to dissolve the stigma of HIV. More than 1.1 million people in the United States are infected with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. Southern states now have the highest rates of new HIV diagnoses, the largest percentage of people living with the disease and the most people dying from it, according to Rainey Campbell, executive director of the Southern AIDS Coalition, a non-profit group serving the 16 Southern states and Washington, D.C. Fifty percent of all new HIV cases are in the South. In the Asheville/Buncombe County area there are about 1,200 known cases of people living with HIV/AIDS. These states also have the highest fatality rates from HIV in the country, according to the Southern AIDS Coalition. I always tell people that knowledge is power and to know your status by getting tested. Also be responsible with everything that you do — use clean needles, never share needles and use protection with all forms of sex. If you do not know your status and would like to be screened for HIV, then contact one of several AIDS service organizations across the state, most of which offer free testing or can link you to free testing. : : — Jennifer Barge is an HIV/AIDS activist, transgender educator and director of TransHealth Coordinators based out of Asheville. For more information on the new CDC campaign, visit cdc.gov/ actagainstaids/campaigns/hivtreatmentworks/.

Affair,” it benevolence auction. Sunday worship was highlighted with Griffin serving as guest preacher. info: mccws.org. — L.M.

Triangle Adults get props

DURHAM — The Adult Ally Appreciation Brunch for iNSIDEoUT is slated for Oct. 11, 12 p.m., at The Bar, 711 Rigsbee Ave. The event is free to attend, however the organizers ask attendees to consider making a $18 contribution toward the group’s fundraising campaign. Reservations are suggested and are available online. iNSIDEoUT is seeking 5-10 adult allies who able to contribute $500-$1,000 each. Acknowledgement will be extended at the brunch. And, no amount is too small for those with more modest resources. Even $3 can go a long way in reaching goals and objectives. Visit the online fundraising campaign website to learn more or to contribute. info: insideout180.org. insideout180.org/adultally-brunch. indiegogo.com/projects/insideoutgrowth-spurt. — L.M.

Poet to hold reading

RALEIGH — Richard Blanco, the gay poet from President Barack Obama’s inauguration, will read from his new book, “The Prince of los Cocuyos: A Miami Childhood,” on Oct. 21, 7:30 p.m., at Hunt Library at North Carolina State University Centennial

Campus, 1070 Partners Way. The book is a poignant, hilarious, and inspiring memoir from the first Latino and openly gay inaugural poet, which explores his coming-ofage as the child of Cuban immigrants and his attempts to understand his place in America while grappling with his burgeoning artistic and sexual identities, Quail Ridge Books & Music shared. A meet and greet will be held in conjunction with the event. Tickets are $5 and are available online. Book purchase at $25.99 includes a ticket to the reading. Seating is limited so early purchase is encouraged. info: quailridgebooks.com/event/princeof loscocuyos. — L.M.

Chorus groups unite

DURHAM — Triangle Gay Men’s Chorus and the Triad Pride Men’s Chorus will present a joint concert on Sept. 27, 8 p.m., at St. Luke’s Episcopal Church, Johnson Hall, 1737 Hillandale Rd. “Singing Out Loud and Proud” is a post-NC Pride event. Tickets are $10/advance online and $15/at the door. info: tgmchorus.org. — L.M.

Campaign endorsements shared

RALEIGH — Equality North Carolina (ENC) has announced its slate of candidate endorsements for the 2014 election season. Among those listed in the 2014 Voter Guide, incumbent Sen. Kay Hagen (D-NC)

who is in a heated race with Thom Tills (R-NC) and Clay Aiken (D-NC), U.S. House, Second Congressional District who is attempting to unseat Rep. Renee Ellmers, are but a few garnering a nod from advocacy organization ENC. A full list of candidates is listed online. qnotes will have pre-election coverage in its Oct 10 and 24 issues. info: equalitync.org. — L.M.

South Carolina Equality gala slated

COLUMBIA — South Carolina Equality will hold their Second Annual South Carolina Gala on Oct. 4, 6 p.m., at the Columbia Marriott, 1200 Hampton St. The “Equality: Mission Possible” event will honor selfless leaders, along with celebrating community achievements. The posh gala recognizes the success of dedicated heroes, the organizers said. The “mission” is still operational and “neither villain nor opponent of equality can stop the momentum building across the Palmetto State, they added. Tickets are $85 and going quickly. Last year’s event sold out. Tables can be reserved for $850 seating 10. On Oct. 3, 5:30 p.m., TAKEOVER Grand Strand will head out to Rocks at Midlands’ Lounge at the Marriott. Host hotel is the Columbia Marriott. Call 803-744-6903 to reserve a room. info: scequality.org. — L.M.

Sept. 26-Oct. 9 . 2014

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already with a point of view as you can see when you check out my cartoon.)

tell trinity by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

You need to let go after being lost in love! Dearest Trinity, I’m lost without him! He’s 19 and I’m 37. You see, we worked together and I never told him “I loved him” because I knew he’d run away from me. But, he quit his job. Now, I went to see if his family had seen him. They said, “No!” What can I do? I miss him so! Lost, Detroit, MI Dearest Lost, I’m sorry he’s gone and you never got to express your feelings but…visiting his family! Sweetie, have you ever been called “obsessive” or been accused of being a “stalker.” Love often means letting someone go, not hunting someone down! Yes, you love him, but when a 37-year-old chases a 19-yearold that’s stalking! It’s time you read my tips

a&e

on “Stopping Yourself From Being A Stalker.” Email me, I’ll send it to you. So, for now, keep busy, keep meeting other potential love interests (closer to your age) and, lastly, please take your childish mind off this mindless child! Dear Trinity, How do you know if someone is born sensitive, artistic and/or gay? What are the signs? Wondering, New Hope, PA Dear Wondering, My parents used to say that they knew something was “different” about me, so I guess I gave signs. Children also say whatever’s on their mind. So, honey, listen closely and they’ll tell you in their own way! (I came into this world

Hi Trinity, Whenever I think I’m ready for a relationship, I jump in feet first and start dating one person, but after a while one of us loses interest and one of us ends up hurt. Maybe it’s better to stay single the rest of my life? Single & Lonely, Wichita, KS Hi S&L, The bad news is that keeping your or someone else’s interest is constant work! The good news is that keeping someone or yourself interested is what makes life interesting. As time passes it gets easier, I promise! For now, keep trying new things with the same lover, be it traveling, social events, sexual adventures or creating likeminded hobbies. And, darling, keep dating till it kills you, I mean, fills you with experiences! Hello Trinity, You’ve talked about hitchhiking before, but never disclosed any helpful information. Any advice? I’m ready to try it. Hitchhiking Dreams, Berkeley, CA Hello Dreams, Yes, I was once a “professional” hitchhiker and loved it. So, pumpkin, be careful and read: Trinity’s Thumbs Up Tips For Hitchhiking 1. Always carry a sketch pad and a thick black and yellow marker. Draw the names in black large letters of the next largest city you’re going to. Then trace it in yellow. 2. Don’t look or smell unkempt. Look clean and not too sexy. And, don’t disguise yourself with hats and sunglasses. It resembles someone incognito. 3. Have a knapsack. Knapsacks resemble a traveling student. Runaways carry luggage or a pillowcase tied to a stick.

4. Get the American Youth Hostel Guide and stay there. They have ride boards, cheap restaurants and more. It’s usually only a day’s hitchhike away from each hostel. 5. D on’t carry drugs, it’s not worth it. One day I’ll tell you about my Texas experience. 6. Stand, don’t sit by an on ramp to a highway or main road! 7. Don’t disclose too much about yourself. For some folks religion and sexual orientation are reasons to kill you! One day I’ll tell you about my Macon, Ga. experience. 8. Your travel kit must include; a map, water bottle, money (in your sneakers), ID, a rain poncho, Power Bars and a diary! 9. You will be challenged by time, weather, people, the police and dangerous confrontations, so learn to live with it. 10. A nd, most importantly, it’s dangerous, just like driving and meeting strangers, so expect the worst and deal with it like a pro. P.S. Make sure there’s always an inside door handle before you get in! info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

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Sept. 26-Oct. 9 . 2014

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Women’s health tips continued from page 10

Build strong bones. Take the following steps to help build strong bones and prevent osteoporosis: exercise; get a bone density test; get enough calcium and vitamin D each day; reduce your chances of falling by making your home safer (for example, use a rubber bathmat in the shower or tub and keep your floors free from clutter); and talk to your doctor about medicines to prevent or treat bone loss. Know the signs of a heart attack. Women are less likely than men to know when they are having a heart attack. So, they are more likely to delay in seeking treatment. For women, chest pain may not be the first sign your heart is in trouble. Before a heart attack, women have said that they have unusual tiredness, trouble sleeping, problems breathing, indigestion and anxiety. These symptoms can happen a month or so before the heart attack. During a heart attack, women often have: pain or discomfort in the center of the chest; pain or discomfort in the arms, back, neck, jaw or stomach; shortness of breath; a cold sweat; nausea; and lightheadedness. Know the signs of a stroke. The signs of a stroke appear suddenly and are different from those of a heart attack. Signs you should look for include: weakness or numbness on one side of your body; dizziness; loss of balance; confusion; trouble talking or understanding speech; headache; nausea; and trouble walking or seeing. Remember: Even if you have a “mini-stroke,” you may have some of these signs. : : — Courtesy the Office of Women’s Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, at womenashealth.gov. Reviewed by Susan Cochran, Ph.D., M.S., Professor of Epidemiology, UCLA School of Public Health.

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Sept. 26-Oct. 9 . 2014

out in print by Terri Schlichenmeyer :: qnotes contributor

Being Miss America “Being Miss America : Behind the Rhinestone Curtain” by Kate Shindle c.2014, University of Texas Press $24.95 / $30.95 Canada 236 pages Elbow, elbow, wristwrist-wrist. It’s like icing a cake with your hand, they say, and you practiced that wave aplenty when you were young. You never knew when you might find yourself walking down a long stage with roses in your arms and a crown on your head. Millions of young women try. Only one per year becomes Miss America — most of the time. In “Being Miss America ” by Kate Shindle, you’ll peek behind the brocade curtains to learn more. Growing up in New Jersey, in a family that often volunteered for the Miss America

Organization, Kate Shindle had a first-hand, on-the-ground look at making a pageant. That knowledge obviously didn’t scare her: she later entered a local Illinois pageant, won, and won again to eventually become Miss America 1998. Pageant fans know that the first Miss America was crowned in 1921, in an effort to keep tourists on The Boardwalk a little longer. Only one woman won the title twice (1922 and 1923). There’s been one Jewish winner (1945) and one Native American title-holder (1927), but no Muslims or lesbians (yet) to wear the crown. Scholarships weren’t given until Miss America 1943 suggested them. The pageant schedule, originally set for midSeptember-ish, has often been in flux; in fact, it was completely cancelled for a few DepressionEra years. In the beginning, there was no “platform” (it seems to have “become a thing of the past” today). Swimsuit parades clashed with feminism, racism quietly lingered as “an ugly underbelly,”

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countdowns were tweaked, and the pageant once endured an attempt at reality TV. Political maneuvers and corporate rules now determine things. Today, Shindle still gets the “What was it like?” question, and it’s complicated. At first, traveling was fun and receiving gifts was interesting. Both became tedious pretty quickly. She was happy to have a chance to work with HIV awareness, but was often instructed on what she couldn’t say. Winning the pageant was empowering, but with the growing popularity of the internet then, it was too easy to find forums filled with vitriol and even easier to fall into an eating disorder… It’s very safe to say that the majority of us never were Miss America material. That never stopped us from dreaming, though, which is why a behind-the-scenes book like “Being Miss America ” is so fun to read. Author Kate Shindle takes the (elbowlength) gloves off in this book, and tells the truth as she knows it: the good and bad of wearing the crown, the humor and difficulty of being an “ideal” woman, changes that title-holders have made within pageant workings, and the struggles some have endured. She does this with wit and passion, as well as with sadness; Miss America ’s future, as Shindle sees it, isn’t quite so rosy but, with work, “she can become something greater than ever.” I liked this book for its lightly-scandalous humor and its tarnished-crown honesty and if you’re a pageant-watcher, I think you’ll like it, too. Grab “Being Miss America ,” and you can wave the hours good-bye. : :

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Sept. 26-Oct. 9 . 2014

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NC Pride Duke East Campus, Durham 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Celebrating 30 years, NC Pride returns with its annual festival and parade. The NC Pride 5K Run begins at 8:30 a.m. prior to the day’s activities. ncpride.org –––––––––––––––––––– Kitty Cabaret Petra’s 1919 Commonwealth Ave., Charlotte 7-9:30 p.m. The third annual Kitty Cabaret is a fundraiser for Cabarrus CARES and Kitty City. Organizers describe it as “purr-fectly fabulous evening of musical entertainment.” $20 admission includes appetizers. For more information, call 704-907-5988. kittycityconcord.org –––––––––––––––––––– Campus Pride Fundraiser The Bar at 316 316 Rensselaer Ave., Charlotte 10 p.m.-2 a.m. Colt Calendar Man Seth Fornea & Jared Leblanc come to Bar 316. Big fun just got huge with Buff Faye & Patti O’Furniture on Saturday nights! Plus special guest drag entertainer Roxy C. Moorecox!! Fundraiser benefits Campus Pride.

SEP SEP

C A L E N DA R SEPTEMBER-OCTOBER 2014 To see more upcoming events, visit goqnotes.com/calendar/ Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ MeckPAC Reception SEP OCT Tin Fulton Walker and Owen 301 Park Ave., Charlotte 6-8 p.m. The Mecklenburg LGBT Political Action Committee hosts its annual candidates’ reception before the fall elections kick off. meckpac.org

Amazing Race Bar Crawl Brixx 225 E. 6th St., Charlotte Noon The Hearts Beat as One Foundation presents their premier bar crawl fundraising event, with proceeds benefiting the Regional Interfaith AIDS Network. Teams of five race to a series of Uptown bars to complete the race. At each destination, teams purchase drinks and complete a challenge. Entry fee is $125 per team at carolinarain. org/HB1registration. barsagainstaids.org

SEP OCT

SC Equality Gala SEP OCT Columbia Marriott 1200 Hampton St., Columbia 6 p.m. The second annual SC Equality Gala’s theme is “Equality: Mission Possible,” inspiring each of one to accept the important mission of fighting for a South Carolina where Equal Means Everyone. Dinner admission is $85. Information and ticket purchases are available online. goo.gl/0BmmjV

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Sept. 26-Oct. 9 . 2014

Circle Up Marshall Park 800 E. 3rd St., Charlotte 8 a.m. The Human Rights Campaign joins in to walk with the Circle Up Team in the 2014 Susan G. Komen Charlotte Race for the Cure. Register online to join the team. charlotte.info-komen.org/ goto/CircleUp

Tom Goss SEP OCT Greensboro Cultural Center 200 N. Davie St., Greensboro 8 p.m. Triad Pride Men’s Chorus hosts Washington, D.C., recording artist Tom Goss. Admission is $25. VIP admission, including a VIP reception at 7 p.m., is $45. triadpridemenschorus.org

Autumn Soiree Looking Glass Artists Center 405 N. Lee St., Salisbury 6-10 p.m. Salisbury-Rowan PFLAG’s annual fundraiser supporting its scholarship foundation, now celebrtating seven years and 22 awards for $1,000 scholarships to Rowan County LGBT students. Event features catered dinner, drinks and entertainment., $25 in advance and $30 at the door. Advance tickets are available at Critters Cards and Gifts, Zinc, Inc. and the Green Goat Gallery. facebook.com/salisburyrowan.pflag –––––––––––––––––––– Continues through Oct. 19 Pride Winston-Salem Downtown Winston-Salem Pride Winston-Salem returns to the Twin City, with multiple events over the weekend, including a festival and food truck rodeo, entertainment, afterparty, drag brunch and parade. pridews.org

SEP OCT

04 18

Voter Registration Deadline This is the last day to register to vote in the November general elections. Several offices are on the ballot, including U.S. Senate, congressional offices, judicial offices and local officials. Under new rules in effect this year, same-day voter registration will not be allowed. In order to vote, one must register by Oct. 10. Photo identification is not required in this election; those requirements go into effect in 2016. For more information on voter law changes visit democracync.org/downloads/NewVotingLawSummaryAug2013. pdf. Learn more about registering to vote at ncsbe.gov.

SEP OCT

Clipping and Saving SEP OCT Total Wine & More, 5341 Ballantyne Commons Pkwy., Charlotte 4:30 p.m. Chi Psi Omega Fraternity extends an invitation to an afternoon of extreme couponing. Coupon experts will teach you the basics of couponing and how to live richly on a budget. Complimentary light appetizers provided by EarthFare and wine tasting provided by Total Wine. The event is free, but seating is limited and participants must register via email at chipsiomegafraternity@yahoo. com. The fraternity will also be collecting donated toiletry items (deodorant, shampoo/conditioner and body lotion) for those in need.

You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a three-for-one entry. All Charlotte-area events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes. com), the LGBT Center (lgbtcharlotte.org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com).

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OUR PEOPLE:

Q&A with Cameron Joyce Chair, LGBT Democrats of Mecklenburg County by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

Cameron Joyce has taken community involvement seriously ever since he landed in Charlotte from his rural home in Randolph County. As an undergraduate student at the University of North Carolina-Charlotte, he volunteered as an on-campus coordinator with President Barack Obama’s campaign in 2008. He later worked as an intern for former Charlotte Mayor Anthony Foxx during the 2012 Democratic National Convention and served on City Councilmember LaWana Mayfield’s campaign. Joyce, now 24, is finishing his master’s degree in public administration at UNCCharlotte. In mid-September, he was appointed chair of the LGBT Democrats of Mecklenburg County, after former Chair Gary Leake resigned, citing his schedule. Joyce had previously served as secretary of the local caucus of the statewide LGBT Democrats of North Carolina. “I gladly take this opportunity to continue to build the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Democrats of Mecklenburg County,” Joyce said in a press release announcing his appointment. “I am eager to grow the political participation of LGBT people in the county and advocate for our population as a member of the county executive council of the Mecklenburg County Democratic Party. I urge all LGBT people in Mecklenburg County to recognize the influence of a united voice and the power in your vote as we work together to identify and elect LGBT and Ally representatives for office in every level of government.” qnotes caught up with Joyce for a get-toknow-you chat. Matt Comer: What’s your favorite kind of music? Cameron Joyce: I am a fan of folk and indie music, but I’m also a fan of ‘90s alternative. I like Boniver, the Fu Fighters and The Killers.

What’s your idea of a good weekend evening? Are you the staying-in type or the going-out type? I like to go out for drinks and eat at a restaurant, but I’d prefer it to be more chill and laid back. My favorite parts of town are South End and Plaza Midwood. I like all the restaurants and shops in South End and I like Plaza Midwood because it’s a more relaxed environment. Do you like spicy or non-spicy foods? Spicy foods. A good restaurant is Cho Won Garden. It’s a Korean place. It’s not too spicy, but it’s good. You grew up in a rural town. Do you like that feel or the city? I prefer the city. I like the country because it’s dark and quiet and you can see the stars, but you can always visit that. I’d want to live here. There’s access to everything all the time. Why is it important for young people to be involved politically or in the community? Young people are generally left out of the political process because they don’t come out and vote and don’t get involved. So, it’s important because I think our generation is a little more progressive and forward thinking. We need to put that pressure and influence into the political process and not let our ideas and voices be left out. Do you prefer a good movie or a good book? I like film. I like the art of film. But, this hasn’t been the best movie season, I think. When you travel, do you go to the mountains or the beach? I prefer the mountains in the fall. That’s the best. There is a place in the mountains called Orchard at Altapass. It’s really peaceful to see the leaves changing, get fresh apples and listen to Bluegrass music. : :

Sept. 26-Oct. 9 . 2014

qnotes

Sept. 26-Oct. 9 . 2014