Qnotes, October 1, 2021

Page 1

Oct. 1–14, 2021

qnotes

1


2

qnotes

Oct. 1–14, 2021


inside this issue

Oct. 1–14, 2021 Vol 36 No 12

connect

qnotescarolinas.com

contributors this issue

Matthew S. Bajko, Tonya Jameson, Sailor Jones, L’Monique King, Jack Kirven, David Aaron Moore, Chris Rudisill, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Ali Titus, Trinity

front page

Graphic Design by Natasha Morehouse Photography: Wes Anderson Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBTQ and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBTQ life and social justice issues. Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@qnotescarolinas.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Managing Editor: Jim Yarbrough, x201, editor@qnotescarolinas.com Copy Editor: Bailey Sides Production: Natasha Morehouse, x205, production@ qnotescarolinas.com Printed on recycled paper.

Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2021 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

charlotteobserver.com/1166/ a local news partner of The Charlotte Observer

18

feature

Closing the Gaps

Quilting for the Met Gala

Florida-based organization, Metro Inclusive Health, offers a vaariety of health and wellness services for the LGBTQ community. Metro’s success provides a model of expansive for similar nonprofits in Charlotte, such as RAIN.

news

5 Bob Page Recognized for Community Commitment by Governor Cooper  6 S.C.’s Alliance for Full Acceptance Names New Executive Director  6 State Court Blocks N.C.’s Voter ID Requirement Law  6 Charlotte Pride Puts Large Gatherings on Hold Until ‘22  6 Despite Pandemic, Carolina Renaissance Festival to Move Forward  7 Dishonorably Discharged LGBTQ Vets to Have Status Changed, Receive Benefits  8 Closing the Gaps

a&e

PAGE 8

In Celebration of World Animal Day: People and Their Pets

We take a look at members of the LGBTQ community and their beloved pets. World Animal Day is on October 4 and is an international day of action for animal rights and welfare.

PAGE 12

15 ‘Things We Couldn’t Say’ 16 Tell Trinity

life

10 Willem Adrondeus: Openly Gay German Helped Save Thousands During the Holocaust 12 In Celebration of World Animal Day: People and Their Pets 14 An LGBTQ Fitness Icon 19 Our People: Eddie Thompson

events

For event listings, visit goqnotes.com/events-calendar.

SUBSCRIBE!

twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas instagram.com/qnotescarolinas

These rates only cover a portion of our true cost, however, our goal is to serve our community Mailed 1st class from Charlotte, NC, in sealed envelope. Subscription Rates:

☐ 1 yr - 26 issues = $48 ☐ 1/2 yr - 13 issues = $34

Mail to: P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222

______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ name:

______________________________________________________ address:

state: zip: ______________________________________________________ city:

☐ mastercard ☐ visa ☐ discover ☐ american express ______________________________________________________ credit card – check one:

card #: exp. date: ______________________________________________________ signature:

Oct. 1–14, 2021

qnotes

3


4

qnotes

Oct. 1–14, 2021


news

Bob Page Recognized for Community Commitment by Governor Cooper Replacements, Ltd. Founder Awarded Order of the Long Leaf Pine

by David Aaron Moore qnotes Staff Writer

B

ob Page is a successful gay businessman and respected philanthropist. He’s particularly well known in North Carolina for his dedication to LGBTQ causes and continuing support of the community. Nationally, he’s the face of Replacements, Ltd., a McLeansville, N.C. company that specializes in hard-to-find and vintage dinnerware. Outside of the business, he’s a muchrespected philanthropist. For those who know him or are acquainted with his work, it comes as no surprise he was recently visited by N.C. Gov. Roy Cooper and selected to be the recipient of the governor’s Order of the Long Leaf Pine Award. Following a visit to the Replacements, Ltd. headquarters in McLeansville, Cooper hand-delivered the awarding documentation to Page. Page posted the following statement on his Facebook account: “I was very surprised and honored when our friend, Governor Roy Cooper, awarded me the Order of the Long Leaf Pine while visiting Replacements, Ltd. today. Somehow, it is humbling to be recognized with what I am told is the highest award given by the Governor. I look forward to continuing my work for our community and North Carolina. I’m grateful to the Governor and thankful for his leadership.” While organizations included in this story are certainly not inclusive of all of Page’s philanthropic efforts, it does highlight many of his achievements, which include donation of time and/or financial assistance to EqualityNC (in honor of his efforts they named an award after him), the Guilford Green Foundation, Lambda Legal, The Victory Fund, the Human Rights Campaign (Replacements has received a perfect 100 score from HRC since the list’s inception in 2002) and PFLAG. Additionally, Page is a supporter of LGBTQ journalism through this publication and our new center for community at qnotescarolinas.com

N.C. Governor Roy Cooper with Replacements, Ltd. Founder and CEO, Bob Page. (Photo Credit: Facebook) In other areas, he has contributed $100,000 to help resettle Afghan refugees and the same amount to Habitat for Humanity towards their home construction efforts.

Originally from the small town of Ruffin, North Carolina, Page is a graduate of UNC Chapel Hill. He founded Replacements, Ltd. in 1981 and has watched the company grow to a hugely

successful business that provides classic dinnerware for individuals, film production companies, cruise liners and more. For years, Replacements, Ltd. has been LGBTQ-friendly and supportive of hiring a diverse mix of employees in the community. Today, that includes more than 400 immigrants from 40 countries. For employees from the LGBTQ community, he has provided insurance and benefits for partners of same-sex couples long before it was commonplace and supports all-encompassing gender-affirming healthcare coverage for members of the trans community. Without question, his list of philanthropic accomplishments reveals a driven individual who is all too happy to give back to the community at home, in the United States and even to help with needs on a global level. In a profile included on the Replacements, Ltd. website, a particular quote gives us insight as to why Page became the man he is today. “I grew up on a small farm in Rockingham County, North Carolina,” Page recalled. “My dad was a tobacco farmer. My parents, and the four children in the family all worked on the farm. My family was poor, but my father always reached out to help others in need by giving them food he could spare from his garden or helping them in other ways. My dad taught me a lot about his values of helping others in the community and I think that’s a lot of who I am today. I grew up believing that no matter what your beliefs are, you should have respect for everybody. That’s why here at Replacements we really do believe in rewarding our employees for the quality of their work and their performance and we don’t judge anybody based on anything else. We take a great deal of pride in the diversity we have here, whether it be dozens of former Yugoslavs we have or the number of gay people. We have employees from [many] different countries and we feel that Replacements is probably the most diverse company in this area. We take a great deal of pride in this fact.” : :

Oct. 1–14, 2021

qnotes

5


news S.C.’s Alliance For Full Acceptance Names New Executive Director

The Board of Directors of the Charleston, S.C.-based LGBTQ organization, Alliance For Full Acceptance (AFFA), announced they have named Holly Whitfield as its new Executive Director. Whitfield, the first woman and first person of color to serve in this role, takes the helm after more than a decade of leadership and service in the nonprofit sector. “AFFA has built a legacy at the forefront of the movement to advance the rights of LGBTQ+ people in this community,” said Whitfield, “I am proud to be leading this organization into the future, and I look forward to working with our stakeholders and partners toward a region where all LGBTQ+ people are free to thrive and are celebrated for being who we are.” Whitfield, who began her nonprofit career in 2003, most recently served as Executive Director at Shepherd’s Center of Charlotte, an organization providing community and support services to seniors. Prior to that, she spearheaded a capital campaign to build a transitional living shelter for LGBTQ+ youth experiencing homelessness at Time Out Youth, a Charlotte-area nonprofit serving LGBTQ+ people ages 11-20. She is currently earning a PhD in Industrial and Organizational Psychology with a concentration in nonprofit organizational health and culture. “We are thrilled to be celebrating this new chapter in AFFA’s history,” said AFFA Board President Jeffrey Fleming, “We made a commitment several years ago to represent all the beautifully diverse identities that make up our LGBTQ+ community, and

State Court Blocks N.C.’s Voter ID Requirement Law

A state court struck down North Carolina’s unconstitutional voter ID law September 17, stating the law was, “was motivated, at least in part, by an unconstitutional intent to target African American voters.” In the 102-page opinion, a majority of the three-judge panel wrote that the 2018 voter ID law was “in violation of the North Carolina constitutional prohibitions on intentional discrimination.” The ruling, which will likely be appealed by the defendants, means North Carolina voters will be able to cast a ballot without having to show a photo ID, at least in upcoming municipal elections. The case, Holmes v. Moore, was brought forth by attorneys with the Southern Coalition for Social Justice (SCSJ) and pro bono counsel from the law firm Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison LLP, on behalf of five North Carolina voters. Filed in December

Charlotte Pride Puts Large Gatherings on Hold Until ‘22

Charlotte Pride announced September 20 it will handle all large-scale, in-person events planned for October and November as a blend of virtual and smaller in-person events. The decision comes as the local area continues to face substantial community spread of the COVID-19 virus via the Delta variant. All previously planned events, such as the Charlotte Pride Parade, Pop-Up Pride Festival and concert event, and others will be presented as live streams, allowing community members to gather in a smaller-scale capacity and watch presentations hosted by individuals and local establishments. Charlotte Pride organizers held out hope that the in-person festival and parade could return to Uptown in 2021, initially designing their events to take place over a four-month period. In August, the organization postponed its events until October and asked community

Despite Pandemic, Carolina Renaissance Festival to Move Forward

The Carolina Renaissance Festival returns to the Charlotte Metro region for its 28th year, beginning October 2, and continuing every Saturday and Sunday through November 21. Taking place in CLT’s neighboring Mecklenburg County town of Huntersville, the Festival will be held on a 20-acre outdoor village filled with shopping, dining and non-stop entertainment. Organizers, performers and vendors invite attendees to experience a trip back in time to the 16th century in the village of Fairhaven, where revelry and celebration rule the day. Villagers, artists, craftspeople, musicians, performance troupes and food concessionaires create a marketplace festival in celebration of the arrival of their visiting Queen. Every weekend day throughout the festival, with trumpets blaring and cannons blasting, The Lord Mayor will order the gates of Fairhaven to swing open at 10:00 a.m. and close at dusk. The day will be filled with an abundance of attractions presented on 16 outdoor stages, each packed with a unique mix of continuous music, dance, comedy shows and circus entertainment. Performers include Barely Balanced Acrobats to one-of-a-kind old-

6

qnotes

Oct. 1–14, 2021

we are proud of what we’ve achieved so far. The road to full acceptance and justice is long, however, and we have miles to go. We are confident that Holly will guide our communityto greater progress and look forward to following her lead.” AFFA has played a central role in statewide South Carolina advocacy efforts focused on advancing nondiscrimination laws as well as hate crimes legislation. Additionally, alongside partners at SC United for Justice and Equality, AFFA has advocated against the passage of statewide legislation targeting transgender youth and South Carolina’s entire LGBTQ+ community. “We will continue to fuel this movement until all of us are free from marginalization and disparate outcomes,” said Whitfield, “We are committed to working together to ensure no one is left behind.” info: affa-sc.org — Ali Titus

Holly Whitfield takes the helm at AFF. (Photo Credit: AFFA)

2018, Holmes v. Moore alleges that North Carolina’s voter ID law (S.B. 824), which was approved by a Republican-led supermajority in a lame-duck session, was racially motivated. Allison Riggs, SCSJ’s Co-Executive Director and Chief Counsel for Voting Rights, and pro bono counsel Andrew J. Erhlich called the ruling “a strong message that racial discrimination will not be tolerated.” In a release dated September 17, Counsel Erhlich and SCSJ’s Riggs stated the following: “Today’s ruling striking down North Carolina’s latest unconstitutional photo voter ID law, is … overwhelming evidence [that] includes compelling stories of disenfranchisement from voters themselves. [It] highlights how the state’s Republican-controlled legislature undeniably implemented this legislation to maintain its power by targeting voters of color. “We applaud the three-judge panel’s decision and hope it sends a strong message that racial discrimination will not be tolerated. Should legislative defendants appeal today’s ruling, we’ll be prepared to remind them of what this court and the state’s constitution mandate: every vote matters.” info: n.pr/2XSNjPK — Sailor Jones

members to continue getting vaccinated and taking precautions to slow the spread of the virus. At the time, organizers said higher vaccination rates, lower positivity rates, and decreased community spread were essential for hosting any events in 2021. “We have not seen key pandemic indicators significantly improve in the four weeks since we announced event postponements,” said Charlotte Pride Board of Directors President Daniel Valdez, “Despite our initial optimism and strong desire to see the return of our traditional festival and parade, the reality of the pandemic means we must take serious precautions to safeguard the health and wellbeing of our valuable and vulnerable community.” info: charlottepride.org — qnotes Staff

world musical instrument musicians. The Birds of Prey exhibit, complete with a “royal falconer,” will take you on a trip into the past, explaining and demonstrating the use of falcons, hawks, owls and more in the ancient sport of falconry. The “Royal Jousting Tournament” will take place three times daily, with each joust full of pageantry, action and comedy as lances shatter and swords clash. Returning again this year is one of the event’s most popular presentations: an aquatic team of water acrobats known as the Sea Fairies, who will perform as Swimming Mermaids. If you’re inspired by the joust presentation, you can try your skills with a lance on the Slider Joust challenge game. If you’re feeling the need to work off some generalized rage or anxiety, have a go at throwing tomatoes at the insult-shouting fools locked in the stocks. If you’re an ol’ skool gamer, have a go at the Dragon Climbing Tower, the Archery Range and the Maze. There’s more fun to be had with rides on Leonardo’s Flying Machine: a peoplepowered amusement ride based on Leonardo Da Vinci’s design for human flight and plenty of opportunity to experience actual Camel rides. In addition to shopping and dining, the festival pubs will offer a wide variety of craft beer, wine, champagne, ale, honey mead and soft drinks. info: carolina.renfestinfo.com — qnotes Staff


Dishonorably Discharged LGBTQ Vets Likely to Have Status Changed, Receive Benefits By David Aaron Moore| qnotes Staff Writer

U.S. Senators Brian Schatz (D-Hawaii), Joni Ernst (R-Iowa),and Todd Young (R-Indiana) have reintroduced the Restore Honor to Service Members Act. The bipartisan legislation corrects the military records of service members discharged solely due to their sexual orientation to reflect their honorable service and reinstate the benefits they earned, building on Senator Schatz’s 2020 National Defense Authorization Act amendment, which turned the Department of Defense’s temporary process for service members to correct their records into permanent law. The announcement of the legislation came on September 20, the tenth anniversary of the repeal of the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) military policy that required service members to remain silent about their sexual orientation if it was anything other than heterosexual. Revealing a non-heterosexual orientation, whether it was through voluntary or other methods, for most, resulted in a dishonorable discharge. An estimated 13,000 service members were discharged under the discriminatory policy. “As we mark 10 years since the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, we must continue working to right the wrongs caused by past discriminatory policy,” said Senator Schatz, “Tens of thousands of gay and lesbian veterans were unjustly discharged from the military [and] denied the benefits and honorable service records that are rightfully theirs. This bill ensures every veteran receives what they deserve.” “Veterans who served our country honorably should receive the benefits they deserve. This bipartisan effort will help veterans correct their military records and ensure they are properly recognized for their sacrifice and service,” said Senator Ernst. “Addressing the injustices of the past is the right thing to do and will help to ensure all veterans are entitled to the privileges and benefits that they have earned. I’m proud to join my colleagues on both sides of the aisle as we work to restore honor to those who courageously served our nation in the armed forces,” said Senator Young. Since World War II, more than 100,000 Americans are estimated to have been discharged from the military because of their sexual orientation. Those forced out of the military may have left with discharge statuses of “other than honorable,” “general discharge,” or “dishonorable,” depending on the circumstances, and as a consequence may be disqualified from accessing benefits they are entitled to and unable to claim veteran status. A negative discharge may also prevent veterans from voting or make it more difficult for them to acquire civilian employment.

Many veterans affected by discriminatory policies such as Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell are still unaware they can have their records corrected or initiate a review. In an effort to continue Congress’s work to correct this historic wrong, the SchatzErnst-Young legislation would require the Department of Defense to reach out to veterans who faced discrimination because of their sexual orientation about the process for correcting their records, authorize the Department of Veterans Affairs to use the date of a discharge characterization upgrade as the date by which it can determine a former member’s eligibility for accessing time-limited benefits; and require each military branch to execute a historical review of its discriminatory policies, creating an official record that former members could draw on to seek a change in discharge characterization. In the U.S. House of Representatives Mark Pocan (D-Wisconsin), has reintroduced a companion bill to the Restore Honor to Service Members Act. “All service members who proudly served our country deserve the benefits they are entitled to, regardless of their sexual orientation,” Pocan said, “It is past time that Congress and the Department of Defense correct past injustices by restoring benefits to all LGBTQIA+ service members who served our nation honorably.” President Joe Biden, who served as vice president ten years ago when President Barack Obama originally signed the repeal of DADT into law, issued the following statement of support: “Ten years ago today, a great injustice was remedied and a tremendous weight was finally lifted off the shoulders of tens of thousands of dedicated American service members,” Biden said in a statement issued by the White House, “It was the right thing to do. And, it showed once again that America is at its best when we lead not by the example of our power, but by the power of our example.” Following his statement, the Department of Veterans Affairs issued a policy clarification on Monday stating that veterans who were given other than honorable discharges based on non-heterosexual conduct, gender identity or HIV status may be eligible for VA benefits, such as home loan guaranty, compensation and pension, health care, homeless program and/or burial benefits, among others. The department said the clarification offers guidance to VA adjudicators and to veterans “who were affected by previous homophobic and transphobic policies” who “have not applied for a discharge upgrade discharge due to the perception that the process could be onerous.” info: abcn.ws/2XQedqJ

Oct. 1–14, 2021

qnotes

7


news

Closing the Gaps

Florida Organization Provides a Model of Expansion for Charlotte Nonprofits by Tonya Jameson Guest Contributor

of $100,000 to support Metro’s “Raise the Roof” campaign to redevelop the 30,000 square foot facility. Vinik is most known as the owner of the Tampa Bay Lightning and a minority owner of the Boston Red Sox. This location in Tampa’s Ybor City neighborhood represents a geographic area where 62% of residents are Black or African American and 22% are Hispanic, increasing the access to care among communities of color. “With Tampa Bay’s fast growth as a highly desirable place to live, work and play, the health equity services provided by Metro Inclusive Health are paramount to our communities long-term sustainability,” continued Vinik.

T

he 2014 Harvard Study revealed what many nonprofit leaders in Charlotte already knew — it’s nearly impossible to get ahead here if you are poor. However, the study didn’t address what many LGBTQ nonprofits and advocates also knew, which is that the ladder of success is nearly nonexistent for Charlotte’s poor LGBTQ individuals. Black folks like to say that when white people get a cold, Black people get the flu. If that’s the case, then Black LGBTQ people, especially transgender women, get pneumonia. The challenges facing Black trans individuals aren’t getting any better, but local organizations and even national ones offer a roadmap to how communities can strategically help these individuals who are often ostracized by society at-large and even within segments of the LGBTQ community. Ironically, the LGBTQ community’s response to the AIDS epidemic has revealed the best chance at successfully addressing the enduring challenges impeding economic mobility for Black trans individuals. One organization in Florida may offer a pathway to success. Similar to the Charlotte-based Regional AIDS Interfaith Network (RAIN), Metro Inclusive Health started in the 1990s as a response to the HIV/AIDS epidemic that ravaged LGBTQ communities. Headquartered in St. Petersburg, Fla., Metro now has locations in Tampa, Clearwater and New Port Richey, including an LGBTQ Welcome Center and new sex-positive tea café and retail shop. Both RAIN and Metro have morphed in their own ways over the years as more funding became available to combat HIV and as more LGBTQ people had to deal with some of the same issues that impact people with limited income. Affordable housing, health insurance inequities, food insecurity and lack of transportation have all caused additional disparities in the LGBTQ community that limit the community’s success stories for economic

Rebecca Nessen, Vice President of Strategic Iniatives at Metro. (Photo Credit: Metro Inclusive Health)

8

qnotes

Oct. 1–14, 2021

Hard to Reach

Metro Inclusive Health, located in Petersburg, Fla., provides a variety of health and wellness services for the LGBTQ community. (Photo Credit: Metro Inclusive Health) mobility. These disparities have grown the service needs for nonprofits. These problems are exacerbated when coupled with ethnic discrimination and gender non-conformity. National surveys show that trans individuals report significant discrimination in hiring and access to services. Poverty rates also tend to be higher among these individuals which is why Metro and RAIN expanded beyond simply treating individuals impacted by HIV/AIDs. “It’s vital and very, very important to be able to provide care to all,” said Rebecca Nessen, Vice President of Strategic Initiatives at Metro. As LGBTQ individuals faced discrimination from more mainstream service organizations, HIV service organizations stepped in to find ways to make connections to care more inclusive. As more government money became available to combat AIDS and now COVID-19, these organizations expanded. Metro provides health and wellness services including comprehensive medical and social services case management. Non-medical offerings include support groups, behavioral health counseling as well as transportation and financial assistance. Services are available to anyone, despite their HIV status. Nessen says a key to success is having an ear to the ground to identify how they must adapt to meet the communities’ needs. Those needs are varied when you consider that there are multiple communities within the acronym of LGBTQ. For example, Metro began offering hormone treatment therapy for transgender people in 2015. More recently, they started voicefeminization lessons as well to meet the needs of the community. Programs are constantly added and removed.

The organization offers many of its services in-house, serving as a hub for community and for healthcare — a one-stop shop. Truly listening to clients and creating a staff that resembles their clients has helped both Metro and the locally-based RAIN see trends and challenges before the general public is aware that something is brewing. “Having staff with lived experience is just invaluable to being able to connect with people that need these services the most,” says Nessen, “There’s nothing more powerful than being able to have a peer connect with a client or a patient.” This is sage advice for Charlotte area nonprofits. Building a staff with lived experience along with creating an agile organization that can move to fit the needs of clients rather than donors are the building blocks for success. Last month, Metro opened a new facility in Tampa that doubles the nonprofit’s impact in the area. With over 100 services and programs, including primary care, behavioral health, psychiatric medication management, HIV medical care and case management, STI education and prevention including testing, PrEP, nPEP and telehealth ,the building houses a variety of health and wellness services. According to a press release, the space will be home to dozens of social programs offered at little to no cost to LGBTQ youth, seniors, young adults and the trans community while also creating a “grand hall” experience that is ideal for community events. That rental revenue will allow Metro to focus on expanding services. “Healthy communities make successful communities,” said Jeff Vinik in a recent That’s So Tampa blog post. The Vinik Family Foundation made a substantial gift

One of the biggest challenges for health and wellness organizations remains connecting with hard to reach individuals to make them aware of the support that is available. Susan Reif, a coordinator of the newly formed Gender+ Task Force, sees this challenge here in Charlotte. “We are failing to reach the most vulnerable people that are in our community,” she said, “The organizations that we’re working with in the transgender community tend to be more white, more affluent. We need, as a community, to figure out how we can work better with the population that we know are the most at-risk for many poor outcomes.” Transgender individuals who move to Charlotte from other cities tend to leave for places such as Atlanta, New York and Miami because they are looking to live somewhere that they can be their authentic self and get a job, she said. The taskforce includes partners such as RAIN, Planned Parenthood, the Mecklenburg County Health Department, the Relatives, Time Out Youth and others. However, Reif worries that even with this collection of partners they still aren’t reaching local sex workers and the Black and Brown trans individuals who live in low-income areas of Charlotte. It formed in March 2020 and is piloting concepts to better educate local organiza-

Chelsea Gulden is the Chief Executive Officer at RAIN, located in Charlotte.


tions on how to work with gender minorities in a way that is neither discriminatory nor stigmatizing. For example, they have provided training for organizations including local housing shelters and law enforcement agencies to target specific focus areas. In an effort to figure out exactly what is needed and available, the task force created the Mecklenburg County transgender/nonbinary survey. The group hopes to assess the needs and services for gender minorities — transgender, transsexual and gender non-conforming people. Not only do they want to determine unmet needs and how to address them, but they also want to identify the current services available in order to improve client navigation. RAIN has forged partnerships with local groups that can assist their clients. RAIN’s case managers help clients navigate Charlotte’s complex maze of service providers to ensure that clients get assistance. The Task Force hopes to expand this idea in order to build systems that best connect individuals to existing services. Responses are being compiled between now and December 1. Reif says the short-term goal is to improve the collaboration of services and increase publicity of available programs. The long-term goal is to improve the wellbeing of gender minorities.

Community Service Model

Through collaboration, RAIN is focused on how best to serve its clients with an ever-expanding scope of work. Like Tampa’s Metro, the organization began with a focus on individuals impacted by HIV/AIDS, but now provides wraparound support to a variety of people, predominantly those who are LGBTQ. RAIN offers treatment, education, access to medical care and medications,

Photo Credit: Metro Inclusive Health emergency assistance and other resources which impact health and quality of life. Wraparound support is a key part of RAIN’s case management. Just ask Winston. On his 21st birthday, he learned that he was HIV positive. His then-partner

didn’t disclose his status. Instead of celebrating his rite of passage into adulthood, Winston was an emotional wreck. “Everything was falling apart at the time,” he said. He sought out RAIN. In the organization’s early days, it would have only been

able to address his medical care, but this Spring they quickly connected Winston with health resources — mental and physical — as well as food and housing assistance. “They pretty much helped me get my life back together. They let me know it’s not the end of the world,” he said. Winston now has an apartment and food. He says his finances are also improving. “If it wasn’t for them, I would probably be losing my mind,” he said. Personal health isn’t a priority if a person doesn’t know where they will be sleeping or how they will get their next meal. Executive director Chelsea Gulden says that clients, including those not living with HIV/AIDS, struggle with the same challenges impacting many Charlotteans such as access to affordable housing and transportation. In August, RAIN announced the Housing as Healthcare initiative after acquiring The Havens to provide safe, affordable housing for individuals living with HIV or disabilities. They are still working out the kinks, but former RAIN executive director Deborah Warren chairs The Havens’ board. This is another example of RAIN’s evolution to meet the needs of a community that has often relied on itself. Gulden agrees with the importance of always listening to your clients to stay acutely aware of trends and challenges. Being agile is vital in serving the various needs of our community. The one-size-fitsall approach that so often accompanies philanthropic efforts isn’t working. Organizations such as Metro and RAIN serve a smaller subset of the population, but their approach of customizing care for individuals, although labor and resource intensive, is our best hope of closing the economic mobility gap, not only in the Black LGBTQ community, but city-wide. : :

Oct. 1–14, 2021

qnotes

9


life

Willem Adrondeus: Openly Gay German Helped Save Thousands of Lives During the Holocaust LGBTQ History Month Retrospectives from the LGBT History Project By Matthew S. Bajko| Guest Contributor

I

n the final days before his execution in July 1943 at the hands of the Nazi party, Willem Arondeus asked his lawyer for one last request: to spread a message after he was gone. “Let it be known,” he said, “Homosexuals are not cowards.” A battle cry of defiance and a bold assertion of his strength, Arondeus lived his life by these words. An openly gay man and a tireless member of the Dutch resistance against the Nazi occupation of the Netherlands, he willingly sacrified his life for a mission that ultimately protected hundreds of thousands of Jews’ lives.

A Budding Artist Struggling to Survive

From an early age, Arondeus was no stranger to the concept of defiance. Born in 1894 as the youngest of six siblings in Naarden, Amsterdam, Arondeus began to have constant fights with his parents over his sexuality.

Portrait of Willem Arondeus. (Photo credit: United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, courtesy of Marco Entrop)

Often deemed the birthplace of LGBT rights, Amsterdam decriminalized homosexuality in 1811, but restrictive rules still barred homosexuality in the early 20th century. In 1911, the beliefs of the ruling political parties led to the age of consent for homosexuality to be changed to 21 in the Netherlands — with the age for heterosexuality remaining at 16. Despite the first gay bar opening its doors during this time, these restrictive age rulings, along with other laws against public indencency, were used to unfairly target gay men. Butthese rulings did not intimidate Arondeus. He refused to suppress his identity as a gay man, leaving home that year at age 17 and severing ties with his family. Picking up work where he could find it, Arondeus struggled financially but continued to pursue his passion for writing and painting for the next three decades — going on to complete a mural for the Rotterdam Town Hall

10

qnotes

Oct. 1–14, 2021

in 1923, and, later, writing a biography of Dutch painter Matthijs Maris in 1938. During that time he met his partner, Jan Tijssen, who he lived with for seven years. Arondeus quickly learned, though, that persistent discrimination of LGBT citizens made life difficult. Alongside living in poverty, he also struggled to find housing due to his refusal to hide his sexuality. “Willem, as an exception, lived as openly as he could,” Klaus Mueller, the European representative for the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, said during a virtual event, “Pride Month: Defying Nazi Persecution,” this past July. “In his diaries…he wrote about being kicked out of apartments because he was gay, there was no protection.”

A Calling to Activism

While Arondeus had many artistic talents, he is much more recognized for his courageous acts of rebellion as a member of the Dutch resistance during World War II — which he joined in 1940 and where he truly found his voice as an activist. “When you read [his] diary you see an insecure artist, even doubting his own success... he always felt as an outsider,” said Mueller, “But when he joined the resistance, he found his own voice — you see a man who is determined, who knows the risks, but doesn’t feel like an outsider anymore.” Though Arondeus was focused on defending the safety of the Dutch Jews, he and other LGBT citizens also saw the imminent threat of the Nazis to their community. Upon their occupation of the Netherlands at the start of the 1940s, the Germans brought with them Paragraph 175 — a law first introduced by Hitler in Germany in an effort to cleanse the country of homosexual activity. The ruling, which first began by expelling any gay and lesbian organizations in Germany, was revised to make homosexual activity between men punishable by imprisonment. Even the slightest bit of suggested evidence could send them behind bars, and as a result, over 100,000 German men were arrested and 50,000 were imprisoned. Further, over the course of the Nazi rule, it is estimated that between 5,000 and 15,000 gay men were sent to concentration camps. Marked by pink triangle badges, they were brutally abused; and many underwent experimental medical treatments aimed at curing their sexualities. Cognisant of this dire threat, Arondeus sprang into action right at the start of the Nazi occupation. Along with publishing anti-Nazi information, he and other members of the resistance created about 70,000 false identification cards of Dutch Jews — preventing them from being tracked down by the Nazis. Yet, over time, the Nazis began to catch on more and more to the forged documents, which could be double checked at the Amsterdam registry building. Arondeus and the rest of his unit constructed their riskiest plan yet: they would blow up the facility — along with the hundreds of thousands of documents inside. Frieda Belinfante, an openly gay woman who fought alongside Arondeus in the resistance and participated in the plan, said that while both of them knew the danger that would come if they were caught, each knew it was necessary to carry out their mission. “He said, ‘Do you think that we [will] see the end of this war?’ and I said, ‘I don’t think so,’ and he said, ‘I don’t think so either,’” Belinfante recalled in a conversation the two had about the danger of their plan. “And then he said, ‘Do you mind?’ and I said, ‘No I don’t’, and he said, ‘I don’t either.’” And so, on March 27, 1943, a group of resistance fighters led by Arondeus entered the facility disguised as Dutch police, drugged the guards, and blew up about 800,000 identity cards. Yet, just several days later on April 1, an anonymous source informed authorities of the attack, and Arondeus was arrested. Though he attempted to take full responsi-

bility for the attack and refused to give the names of his team, his notebook was found and many of the contributors were revealed. Some were able to escape and flee the country, but exactly three months later, Arondeus and 12 others — including two other gay men — were brought before a firing squad and executed.

A Legacy Overshadowed

Though the bombing of the Amsterdam registry building was widely regarded after the Holocaust as a lifesaving moment in history, education about the heroic moment omitted Arondeus’ leadership due to the fact that he was a gay man. So, while his family did receive a medal of honor for his sacrifices in the years following his death, the homophobia that persisted throughout the 1950s and 1960s prevented LGBT war heroes like Arondeus from getting the recognition they deserved. This went against Arondeus’ final mes-

Willem Arondeus on the island of Urk. (Photo credit: United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, courtesy of Toni Boumans) sage to his lawyer for the public to be informed of LGBT participation in the mission. It was only in 1984 that Arondeus was awarded the Resistance Memorial Cross, and in 1986 that he was posthumously declared a Righteous Among the Nations honor — given to those during the Holocaust who were not Jewish but protected the rights of Jewish citizens in need. And in 1990, he finally got his wish to be recognized not only as a hero, but as a member of the LGBT community. His sexuality was revealed in a TV program, and the Dutch public finally learned the true extent of his bravery — forever cementing his efforts as a symbol of heroism in the LGBT community for years to come. “He was a great hero who was most willing to give his life for the cause,” Belinfante said. To learn more about Willem Arondeus, visit the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum’s website and YouTube page. : :


Oct. 1–14, 2021

qnotes

11


life

In Celebration of World Animal Day: People and Their Pets Animals and People Find Homes and Love in the LGBTQ Community

with, so it would motivate me to be more active too, but I also wanted to adopt an animal in need.” The site offers visitors the choice of a variety of pets. Cats, dogs, farm animals, birds, rabbits, reptiles and more are available for rescue. Dog lovers can search through photos of specific breeds or “just mutts,” Darryl explained, “The truth is, there’s nothing healthier than a mutt,” says Hall. Still, for those looking for a specific breed that’s still an animal in need, the site is nicely categorized with photos, descriptions and a nationwide map indicating how many of the selected breed are available in a visitor’s area. For Hall, it was the conduit to the perfect match made of he and Alphie, whom he thinks may have been put up for adoption because “he won’t hunt” — something the breed is known for. But who cares? None of that matters to him because for him, energetic Alphie is the perfect companion. Working from home allows Hall to spend his days — during work and play time — with Alphie.

by L’Monique King qnotes Staff Writer

A

nimal lovers around the globe are looking forward to a day of education and increased awareness aimed at animals both domesticated and in nature come Oct. 4, and the arrival of World Animal Day. In the LGBTQ community, where many individuals and couples choose not to have children, there’s certainly not a shortage of people concerned with the well-being of their pets and other animals everywhere. According to worldanimalday.org.uk the mission behind celebrating the day is “to raise the status of animals to improve animal standards around the globe.” World Animal Day is recognized as an international day of action for animal rights and welfare, it is celebrated annually on this date, which is also the “feast day” of St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of animals. While Assisi was a Catholic priest, he is highly revered for his love of animals by individuals in and out of the Catholic faith. In recognition of World Animal Day, qnotes is looking at pets and their people in our own community, like a lovable Shih Tzu named Khloe Jamison, who has already benefited from being adopted and cared for by her friends and caregivers, Alyson and Eric Jamison. For years now Alyson Jamison has been a professional dog groomer. When one of her regular clients (Khloe’s previous owners) learned they were expecting a baby, they decided caring for an infant and a pooch would just be too much. They expressed their concern for finding Khloe a new home to Alyson, who went home after a busy day of shampooing and clipping and shared the story with her husband, Eric. When Eric found out it was Khloe, he immediately said, “I want her!” Eric and Khloe had met and hung out numerous times when she was brought over for grooming. When asked why, he stated, “I felt like her original parents would appreciate her being with us,” Eric explained, “People who already knew her, loved her and would take good care of her. “She definitely brings light to my life. On days that I’m stressed or depressed she comes, greets me and lets me know that things are ok. She brings a lot of good energy to my life. It’s hard to be mad at her.” For others, finding that special animal to love comes differently. As opposed to having the pooch from heaven practically fall into their laps or follow them home, in the

Eric Jamison with Khloe.

12

qnotes

Oct. 1–14, 2021

Impact of the Pandemic on Pet Adoptions Vinnie Morris and Adele. true spirit of World Animal Day, they adopt. Retired law enforcement Sergeant Vinnie Morris is one of those people. “I am the animal lover in the house and I was a collector of strays,” she explained, “When my wife and I moved to Charlotte we had two dogs, Chloe [apparently a popular doggie name] and her son, Spider.” “Shortly after [the move] Spider died,” Morris continued, “Ashley, one of my wife’s daughters — I call them my bonus daughters — her husband and their three children moved in with us in 2017. Ashley wanted her own dog, a dog her children could play with and love.” With that, the search was on. Motivated by the intent to not just own a dog, but to also save one, York County Animal Shelter was the perfect place for making the family’s dreams of owning another dog come true. When Melissa (Vinnie’s wife) and daughter Ashley arrived at the shelter a litter of nine puppies had just been dropped off. Through all the scrambling for puppies that day, Vinnie’s bonus daughter was lucky to leave with one as well: a Shepherd Hound mix they named Adele. Adele still lives with Vinnie and Melissa. Chloe passed away in 2018 shortly after Ashley and her family moved back to New York to an apartment that didn’t allow them to keep her. Vinnie and Adele have a special kind of bond, and she’s serious about shelter adoptions and loving care. “Dogs or most animals provide a layer of unconditional love,” Morris offers, ”What happens with some animals in some situations, people acquire dogs for cuteness and then realize it’s too much to have to take care of them, and they drop them off at a shelter. These animals will die for you, the loyalty from an animal…I kinda get emotional about it because I hate to see animals abused. All they want is love, food, a little direction and to have someone pet them every now and then.” “Rescue just makes sense,” says Charlotte architect Darryl Hall. After having two senior dogs he acquired from Charlotte’s Humane Society pass away, he recently adopted Alphie, a handsome Redbone Coonhound. Yes, that’s actually the name of the breed, and no, we’re not being politically incorrect. But we digress. This time, Hall didn’t go to the Humane Society, he took to the internet. Seeking some kind of an active dog like a hound, he found the website Rescue Me to be quite helpful. “I wanted a dog that had a lot of energy,” Hall recalls, “One that would want and need to be taken for walks and played

For animals in need of a friend or family to call their own, the COVID-19 Pandemic has turned out to be somewhat of a silver lining around an otherwise dark cloud. According to a recent study by the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA), pet adoption levels have risen, likely as a result of so many families and individuals choosing to spend more time at home. “23 million American households acquired a pet during the COVID-19 crisis, and most will not consider re-homing their pet,” the report confirms, “Close to one in five households acquired a cat or dog since the beginning of the COVID-19 crisis, which would account for approximately 23 million American households based on the 2019 U.S. Census.” The study also addresses claims that many adoptees have returned their pets as COVID-19 infection rates slowed and business began to reopen, “Despite alarmist headlines tied to regional reports of a surge in owner surrenders, this trend is not currently evident on a national level with many organizations simply seeing a return to pre-pandemic operations and intake.” So this month, qnotes is not just celebrating World Animal Day, we’re also celebrating all of our community members who have taken up the charge of adopting, rescuing and caring for animals who might otherwise have been neglected. : :

Darryl Hall with Alphie.


Oct. 1–14, 2021

qnotes

13


life

An LGBTQ Fitness Icon Health & Wellness: Richard Simmons

by Jack Kirven qnotes Contributor

I

n honor of LGBTQ History Month, I thought it would be nice to shine a little light on a bright personality who has brought wellness to millions of people. In my experience as a trainer, being personable and funny makes the sessions much more enjoyable to clients. It is important to recognize that many people hire trainers not only because they need help with programming and technique, but also for accountability. Why would that be an issue? Because, frankly, most people don’t love working out, and they need someone to make sure they actually do the session. Given that many people already have an unenthusiastic relationship with working out, it becomes important to find and reinforce the reasons clients keep showing up. A good trainer isn’t only someone who understands the mechanics and science of movement, metabolism and nutrition; a successful coach also keeps clients engaged and successful. And, dare I say, happy? Regardless of age, many people are children at heart, and we love to play and laugh. It feels good to feel good. Decades ago, when I was young — I almost cringe at writing that — any hint of gayness was electrifying. That anyone, let alone a celebrity, might also be LGBTQ was a point of constant fascination. There just weren’t all that many people in my world who were out to any degree whatsoever. And, although I am not aware of Richard Simmons ever stating definitively what his gender identity or sexual orientation are, his blissfully outrageous personality was always very charming and engaging for me personally. I would stop what I was doing to watch his commercials. I remember feeling very strongly that I wanted to inspire and motivate people the way he did. It’s pretty rare to actually enjoy a commercial, but his were totally awesome.

Richard Simmons in 2007. (Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons) I was a gymnast and dancer in a family of mixed messages. My people were a random assortment of obese bingers, recreational drug users, health food nuts, scientists, born again Christians and artsy hippie types. There was rarely any consensus on much of anything at our Thanksgiving dinners. On the plus side: None of the conflicts in my family had anything to do with me being gay. We were always pretty much live-and-let-live on a wide variety of personal prefer-

ences, especially with body autonomy, religion and sex. On the minus side: All these stubborn personalities with strong opinions were constantly vying to make themselves heard, and you had to work pretty hard to make sure you were being yourself in the face of everyone else trying to do the same. In retrospect, my interest in combining wellness, education and performance had to have been strongly influenced by Richard Simmons. I would imagine replacing him with me and the people dancing to the hits with my overweight family members. But, his clients wanted to lose weight, and my family members didn’t. Still, I did enjoy imagining my dad and grandparents bopping around; however,

I always stopped short of picturing them in leotards with sweatbands on their heads. Perhaps my heart just wasn’t in it after all? With my clients I am constantly cutting up, making fun of fitness itself and doing whatever I can to make them feel like they are playing, as opposed to working. I have found over the years that whether it be the gym, dance studio or classroom that people of all ages love to learn when they experience my content within the context of playfulness. Richard Simmons served that in huge portions. Some people have criticized him for playing into homophobic tropes about “sissies,” and given that Richard Simmons has never “come out,” as it were, perhaps I should resist calling him a gay exercise icon? But I think it would be a mistake to expect famous people to out themselves for our own gratification. He rose to prominence at a time when nearly an entire generation of gay men were lost to the AIDS plague. The world was excruciatingly homophobic, and I feel his very presence was in and of itself a declaration. His smiling little face, buoyant energy, chipper voice, tumultuous hair and outrageous fashions (festooning Swarovski crystals on flimsy gym shorts that probably cost $5???) screamed queerness into the faces of the moral majority. I always got very smug satisfaction watching the bigots around me squirm whenever he was on television. Admit it: His legs and booty were flawless! Whether Richard Simmons ever “makes it official,” I regard him as an important figure in the LGBTQ pantheon of fabulous personalities. He bucked heteronormative expectations and used his gay magic to help millions of people get healthier and enjoy doing it. His tenacious vivacity and humor helped to chip away at the dour, puritanical zeitgeist of the 80s and 90s, and he was a very visible person who contributed to the broadening representation that was a fundamental part of LGBTQ people becoming accepted more broadly into society. : : Jack Kirven completed the MFA in Dance at UCLA, and earned certification as a personal trainer through NASM. His wellness philosophy is founded upon integrated lifestyles as opposed to isolated workouts. Visit him at jackkirven.com and INTEGRE8Twellness.com.

24 hour number for death calls: 704-563-7676

14

qnotes

Oct. 1–14, 2021


a&e

‘Things We Couldn’t Say’ Out in Print

by Terri Schlichenmeyer Contributing Writer Things We Couldn’t Say By Jay Coles ©2021, Scholastic $18.99 320 pages

Y

ou’d like an explanation, please. Why something is done or not, why permission is denied, you’d like to hear a simple reason. You’ve been asking “Why?” since you were two years old but now the older you get, the more urgent is the need to know — although, in the new book “Things We Couldn’t Say,” by Jay Coles, there could be a dozen becauses. Sometimes, mostly when he didn’t need it to happen, Giovanni Zucker’s birth mother took over his thoughts. It wasn’t as though she was the only thing he had to think about. Gio was an important part of the basketball team at Ben Davis High School; in fact, when he thought about college, he hoped for a basketball scholarship. He had classes to study for, two best friends he wanted to hang out with, a little brother who was his reason to get up in the morning and a father who was always pushing for help at the church he ran. As for his romantic life, there wasn’t much to report: Gio dated

girls and he’d dated guys, and he was kinda feeling like he liked guys more. So no, he didn’t want to think about his birth mother. The woman who walked out on the family when Gio was a little kid didn’t deserve his consideration at all. There was just no time for the first woman who broke his heart. It was nice to have distractions from his thoughts. Gio’s best friends had his back. He knew pretty much everybody in his Indianapolis neighborhood. And the guy who moved across the street, a fellow b-baller named David, was becoming a good friend. A very good friend. David was bisexual, too. But just as their relationship was beginning, the unthinkable happened: Gio’s birth mother reached out, emailed him, wanted to meet with him, and he was torn. She said she had “reasons” for abandoning him all those years ago, and her truth was not what he’d imagined... There are a lot of pleasant surprises inside “Things We Couldn’t Say.” From the start, author Jay Coles gives his main character a great support system, and that’s a uniquely good thing. Gio enjoys the company of people who want the best for him, and it’s refreshing that even the ones who are villains do heroic things. Everyone in this book, in fact, has heart, and that softens the drama that Coles adds — which leads to another nice surprise: there’s no overload of screeching drama here. Overwrought teen conflict is all but absent; even potential angsts that Gio might notice in his urban neighborhood are mentioned but not belabored. This helps keep readers focused on a fine, relatable, and very realistic coming-of-age story line.

This book is aimed at readers ages 12-and-up, but beware that there are a few gently explicit, but responsibly written, pages that might not be appropriate for kids in the lower target range. For older kids and adults, though, “Things We Couldn’t Say” offers plenty of reasons to love it. : :

Author Jay Coles. (Photo Credit: Victoria Ruth)

Oct. 1–14, 2021

qnotes

15


a&e

Does “We Should Take A Break” Mean “I Met Someone Else”? Tell Trinity

by Trinity | Contributing Writer Dear Trinity, My girlfriend moved to Colorado for a while because of family dilemmas, and I stayed here in Kansas. Since she left, I haven’t heard from her much and today she called to say we should take a break. Does this mean she doesn’t want me or that she met someone else? Left Behind, Wichita, KS Dear Left Behind, Those breakup calls can leave you dizzy and delusional. Now, splash some cold water on your face, mix yourself a mocha martini and listen up! If someone says, “we should take a break,” then that definitely, without a doubt, means she doesn’t want to be with you… for now, or that something has changed in her head (or in her bed). It could also mean that she might have met someone else, or she may just simply feel like she needs to stay away for a while and doesn’t want to string you along. Pumpkin, the only way to truly know what’s happening is to simply ask, “What happened?” If you were girlfriends for longer than a couple months, then you absolutely deserve to know who she’s sleeping with, I mean, why she’s slipping away! Good luck, Trinity

Q-mmunity

connections

Dearest Trinity, Everyone has extramarital affairs. What’s so wrong with it? Plus, I’m a gay man. Aren’t the rules different for us? Yours, Extra Extra, Billings, MT Dearest Extra Extra, Yes, many couples “cheat,” “play” or have “extramarital affairs.” And, as for gay male couples, I will agree that the marriage etiquette can be different. But, honey, try to spend more time in the bedroom with your partner. The outside world is very tempting, but sometimes you just have to say “no” and choose to respect yourself, your relationship and honor what you have! Kisses, Trinity

space starting at $22: call qnotes for details 704.531.9988

16

qnotes

Oct. 1–14, 2021

Hey Trinity, I met someone great, but I don’t want to date them, and it hurts me so much to have to hurt them. I was just dumped and have already dumped someone once this year, and I cried. How can I dump someone without hurting them? Dumping Hurts, Santa Fe, NM Hey Dumping Hurts, Wouldn’t it be nice if one could just say, “I’m not interested,” and everyone would be happy? But everyone hates to be the dumper and/or the dumpee. That’s life, and sometimes it’s better to just rip off the band-aid. So, try starting with a deep breath and just blurting out, “This isn’t working out for me,” or “I need to stop seeing you,” then the rest

will flow with poison, I mean passion. Also, sweetie, remember you ARE NOT responsible for everyone’s feelings… most of the time! Hugs, Trinity, Hello Trinity, I have two male coworkers who “think” they’re straight, but I’m sure they’re not. How do I tell them gently that, “you’re not straight?” I want to be tactful but clear. Save Our Straights , Palisades Park, NJ Hello SOS, I also know some straight men who have quicker comebacks and a smarter fashion sense than a bar full of gays. Darling, next time you’re all having a dry martini together try reading them:

Trinity’s Facts For What You Instinctively Do Just Because You’re A Gay Man

1. You know how to make a FABULOUS entrance.  2. You truly understand the importance of good LIGHTING.  3. Your best friends were once your LOVERS.  4. You have a medicine cabinet filled with little GOODIES.  5. You know how to give just the right smile that says, “stay AWAY!”  6. Your fantasies include back up DANCERS.  7. You have “GIRLFRIENDS” who are neither girls nor friends.  8. You can lip-sync to at least one entire Broadway MUSICAL.  9. You can SPOT a toupee from one hundred yards. 10. And lastly, you can comfortably have complicated SEX. : : With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking” a weekly radio drama, performed globally and is now minister of WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings. Sponsored by: WIG Ministries, www.wigministries.org Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Send e-mails to: Trinity@telltrinity.com


Oct. 1–14, 2021

qnotes

17


life

Quilting for the Met Gala

Gay North Carolina Native Helps Craft this Year’s Most Talked About Look by Chris Rudisill qnotes Contributor

Z

ak Foster was surprised when he received a random message on Instagram with a somewhat dim picture of a puff quilt from the late 1970s. The obscure message ended up being from ERL designer Eli Russel Linnetz, one of the most influential fashion designers in California. Linnetz had seen Foster’s work and was originally hoping the North Carolinaborn quilter would be able to remake the piece they had purchased at a thrift store for artist ASAP Rocky’s Met Gala red carpet look. The project would change a bit, and in the end Foster, just quilted the back (or inside), while re-using the original vintage piece for the outside. The design played with Foster’s style of building onto the existing. He’s known as an expert in repurposing, specializing in burial and memorial quilts. Foster says that Linnertz wanted the back to be all red, something he imagined as Rocky’s own little square of red carpet, an effective visual when Rocky dropped it on the white carpet. That stunning moment soon went viral, making the garment one of the most talked about looks of this year’s event. “I was actually happy to pivot in that direction because it gave me more creative latitude,” says Foster. With less than a week to do the project, Foster got to work in his home studio in Brooklyn, a small six foot by ten foot space just off his eat-in kitchen. “Vintage quilts just have their own magic that can’t be replicated,” continues Foster, noting the stories from all the people that had used the quilt and the original maker. “My quilts are about half cloth and half stories.” Linnetz sent him pieces of clothing that held important memories, including part of his dad’s bathrobe and some boxers. One of the ways that Foster works is to flat press or leave parts of a garment and just sew it down on the quilt. “It allows the garment to continue telling its own story without being deconstructed or reconstructed,” he says, “It feels very organic.”

18

qnotes

Oct. 1–14, 2021

The red quilt created by Zak Foster and worn by ASAP Rocky at the 2021 Met Gala. (Photo Credit: Zak Foster) Foster grew up in Clemmons, N.C. Those stories and working with the and moved to Brooklyn with his partner vintage quilt made Rocky’s look resonate in 2008. He’s been teaching high school so clearly with this year’s Met Gala theme, Spanish for the last 18 years and building “In America: A Lexicon of Fashion.” a solid online following with his custom The story of that vintage quilt is now memory quilts. His forever changed work space is just and Foster wonlarge enough for dered aloud about him to sit down at what the original his sewing mamaker might think. chine. Standing “What would they up and turning 90 think of a gay man degrees to the left, working with their he maneuvers to a quilt in this way, combination ironing, and then what cutting and sewing would they think table. Boxes of fabric of it going on the fill the space and shoulders of a Black a felt design wall man wearing their allows him to layout quilt?” asks Foster, new quilts. “It’s a lot,” “So I found myself he says. thinking a lot about He recently queerness and ended his teaching Blackness and how career and plans to acceptable or not it move back to North is in various circles, Carolina in the next thinking of that parZak Foster. (Photo Credit: Wes Anderson) couple of months. ticular person.”

“I’ve been making these big quilts in small spaces and I’m really curious to see what happens when I get a big space,” says Foster. He starts each day with quilting and designing and spends a few hours later in the afternoon to follow up on e-mails and managing his social media. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my day,” says Foster, “The days where I start with actual quilting — the sewing itself, the design itself — those days feel balanced, in order and satisfying. Foster also dreams of quilting in the fresh air when he moves home to the South, something that rekindles stories of his great grandmother’s quilting bees under old oak tress in rural North Carolina. He’s also helping to share more stories of LGBTQ quilters throughout the country. Foster and his friend, Grace Rother, launched Queer Quilters Tell All, a zine “to all the queer folks in the quilting community.” The two did a call out to other quilters, asking what it meant to be a queer quilter. So many people submitted stories that they’ve had to split the project into four different issues, each with a different theme. “Each one was so thoughtfully written and so full of insight and experience and truth, we couldn’t cut a one of them,” said Foster. From examining how quilting changes you as a person to how queer quilters fit into the larger quilting community, the zines are available for free on his website. Quilting has a historic tie to storytelling, from the places where quilts are made to the people who have been warmed by them. There are deep associations and history involved in each piece, the connection between maker and recipient and how they connect us across time and place. In the last week, a woman reached out to Foster saying that she thought the Rocky quilt was made by her great grandmother. Details were very specific and the two are talking by phone this week. “This particular quilt was so high profile that we have been able to connect it back to the original maker who never signed their quilt,” says Foster. To him, that’s a beautiful thing. To learn more about Zak Foster, you can find him on Instagram @zakfoster.quilts. : :


life

Our People: Eddie Thompson Author and Animal Lover

by L’Monique King qnotes Staff Writer

B

ack in 1996, when Eddie Thompson and his husband-to-be Jayson met in Seattle, Wash. neither of them imagined they’d be married, together for 25 years and living in Eastover, S.C. (a suburb just outside of Columbia). Despite the stress and strain many same-sex couples experienced prior to marriage equality, their relationship beat the odds and has survived. The two have lived in multiple places around the country, but likely the most unusual was Anchorage, Alaska. By 2009, however, they decided it was time to plant some permanent roots and decided on the move to South Carolina. On a breezy Saturday evening, the first official weekend of autumn, qnotes caught up with Thompson for a brief and reflective chat on love, life and pets. What do you two do for a living? I’m a Data Collector for transportation studies and Jayson is a vendor’s rep for Home Depot. What types of pets do you have? Currently we have two dogs, a Japanese Chin and an American mixed breed. Previously we rescued five cats, and right now, we’re feeding eight feral cats.

Eddie Thompson and pals. (Photo Credit: Barbara Burns) October 4 is World Animal Day. Would you share a little about your dogs and how you came together? Certainly. We had a pug for 10 years. When he passed Jayson was heartbroken and wanted to get another dog. I wanted to wait, but within days a friend who happens to be an ASPCA Board Member called us. He said a [seemingly lost] dog had come to his house looking for food and water. We found him and took him home. I met our Japanese Chin outside of a neighborhood store. He was just hanging around. I

went inside and asked around and no one claimed him or knew anything about him. When I left the store, he followed me to my truck. We still tried to find his owner, but no one ever came forward, so we kept him. How admirable, how you’re providing such a valuable and needed service. What do you feel you get in return? What do your pets add to your life? Oh gosh! Structure. They keep us on schedule. The dogs take a lot of attention and we plan our days according to who is gonna’ need what and when. We just get so much love from them. We’ve received nothing but love since we started taking in animals that need a home. It’s a lot of responsibility, but it’s worth it. So, it’s been 25 years of living, loving and caring for animals together. What’s the secret? How have you managed to maintain such longevity? He has his end of the house and I have my end [laughs]. We naturally came to an agreement, early on, that we wouldn’t agree on everything and that would be fine. Jayson says we don’t have arguments, we have discussions. So, if we’re discussing something we can’t agree on, we both just say okay and move on. Jayson sounds like a wise man. What do you love about him? He’s steady, he’s a rock. He never changes from day to day. Not like me, I’m all over

the place. I’m an Aries. I like to start new things ,and then I get bored and I’m on to the next interesting thing [laughs]. We’ve heard that you’re working on a book. I am, it’s in the final editing stage now. What’s the book about? The book starts out with a murder. The main protagonist, Collin, is a writer of gay romance novels who falls in love with a police detective. It’s actually a romance novel. So writing is how you spend your free time when you’re not working or taking care of the animals? I don’t have a lot of free time, but I like gardening. I used to walk a lot, but now my knees or feet hurt, so I don’t do more than four or five miles a day now. Speaking of time, if you could go back and speak to the 12-year-old you, what would you say? Probably the same thing I always tell the kids. If you have a chance for adventure, take it. Whether it is a road trip with a friend to pick up a car or flying an UltraLight Plane — which I’ve done, it’s like a big kite with a motor on it. Kinda feels like a motorcycle except you can go up and down as opposed to just forward. So yeah, seize opportunities for adventure whenever you can, do it! : :

Oct. 1–14, 2021

qnotes

19


20

qnotes

Oct. 1–14, 2021


Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.