QNotes Oct. 2-15, 2010

Oct. 2-15 . 2010

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The Miss Hide-A-Way Pageant BEACH BLAST OCTOBER 9, 2010 - 11PM

Deadline for entering is 10PM October 9.

CATEGORIES: Creative Beach Wear (key word is CREATIVE) Gown On Stage Question Roxy C. Moorecox Talent Felicia Monet Tia Douglas Entry Fee is $30 Emory Starr Winner gets $250 and crown Miss Hide-A-Way ‘10 Runner up $50.00 Hosted by Makaylah DuShot Trophies for Catergories Thursday - $2 Beer - $3 Mixed Drinks - Free Pool!

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Oct. 2-15 . 2010

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in Oct. 2-15, 2010 Vol 25 No 11

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contributors this issue Matt Comer, Tyler DeVere, Kevin Grooms/Miss Della, Charlene Lichtenstein, Lainey Millen, Leslie Robinson, David Stout, Trinity, Brett Webb-Mitchell

front page Photo courtesy Michael Alfano Graphic Design by Lainey Millen

InFocus: Charlotte

news & features 6 7 8 10

News Notes: Regional Briefs CMPD forum slated for October Harriet Redic Bell remembered Lesbian mayor to keynote

In the last of this year’s InFocus series, qnotes takes a look at Charlotte’s LGBT community, with a special personal commentary from editorial intern Tyler DeVere, a member of MeckPAC’s steering committee and a feature on Gay Bingo’s Last Hoorah! as RAIN retires the annual fundraising and gaming treat. Plus, news on leadership and other changes at the Charlotte Business Guild and Lesbian & Gay Community Center. Find it all at goqnotes. com/to/charlotte.

arts & entertainment 12 14 17 17 18 19 20 21 21 23

Sculptor challenges stereotypes On Being a Gay Parent CAST aces ‘Steambath’ Wetherall takes stage Drag Rag Doc features Latino youth Tell Trinity Out in the Stars For Mature Audiences Only Q Events calendar

Photo Credit: Kreg.Steppe, via Flickr.

Licensed under Creative Commons.

opinions & views 4 4 5 5

Editor’s Note QPoll General Gayety TalkBack

Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2010 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads.

The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

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Editor: Matt Comer x202 editor@goqnotes.com Assoc. Ed.: David Stout x210 editor2@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen x209 production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.

Oct. 2-15 . 2010

qnotes

VIEWS

editor’s note by matt comer matt@goqnotes.com

Transparency key to social trust Shocked. Seriously, I was. What I thought was a simple, straightforward news story turned into one of our most controversial.

As the comment count continued its upward trend, I thought to myself: “Why don’t we ever get this kind of reaction on more important, impactful news pieces and features?”

The story — on allegations of fundraising fraud against Charlotte company Wooftease and event group Club Cub — racked up a total of 84 comments online (as of press time, the comment count was still rising). That’s the most comments we’ve ever received on any story, ever. (To read that story, visit goqnotes.com/8247/.)

Then I realized: Our short, online article on Wooftease and Club Cub is one of those “more important, impactful stories” and hits on an issue that strikes at the very heart of our community.

At any given time there are various nonprofit groups raising money, holding events or otherwise soliciting support. Sometimes, businesses also join in on the action and promise to give a portion of the money they receive to an area community group.

For the better part of our movement’s history, non-profit and local, community-

based groups have been at the forefront of progress. By far, these organizations have pushed our agenda, offered us support, operated resource hotlines, websites and community centers and provided various social welfare programs and services.

Without these groups and their hardworking volunteers, our community would look far different and we certainly wouldn’t be where we are today.

In the case involving Wooftease and Club Cub, I take no stance or opinion. Speaking generally, however, our community must be on guard against groups or businesses who show up on the scene with less-than-pure intentions to solicit funds under fraudulent or not-so-transparent purposes. It’s rare, but it does happen. And, when it happens a sort of social trust can break down.

There’s only one way to battle against fraudulent “non-profit” groups, and it requires legitimate non-profits to operate with a sense of transparency and public accountability. Most often, although not always, real non-profits with legitimate purposes are more than willing to be open with their meeting minutes, financial data and budgets and other information, going far beyond the few annually-filed items that are legally required to be open for public inspection. These are the types of organizations that build trust

with their donors, stake holders and larger public and, at face value, can usually be trusted with your money.

In tight economic times it becomes that much more important to spend and donate your money wisely. Before contributing to a group that merely claims to be non-profit, be sure to check them out. Ask for their IRS taxexempt determination letter or annual tax return filings and other information (much of which is also publicly available via guidestar. org, irs.gov and sosnc.com). If the group offers no resistance, you can generally be assured the organization is doing the right thing now and will likely continue to do the right thing once it receives your money.

CMPD forum: Let’s make it a success In our last print edition, on Sept. 18, I took the time to give due credit to Charlotte-

Mecklenburg Police Department (CMPD) officials and community members who pulled together to organize Chief of Police Rodney Monroe’s community forum on Oct. 12 (see page 7 for more).

Come Oct. 12, my hope is to walk into the Community Center and see a standingroom-only crowd. We owe it to the people who made this possible and we owe it to our community. Want to help get people to the forum? Be sure to tell all of your friends, post about it on your Facebook or Twitter profiles, announce it in your church or faith group’s service or newsletter or even offer to give folks a ride. The forum is our community’s chance to be heard on issues related to CMPD. It is an all-too-rare opportunity in this city we can’t pass up. For more information and directions to the Lesbian & Gay Community Center of Charlotte, visit gaycharlotte.com. : :

qpoll

Why did you come or why are you going to NC Pride, Pride Charlotte and Blue Ridge Pride?

See the options and vote: goqnotes.com/to/qpoll

It’s a way to show how free we are now, and we’ve got this and we will get more later. I think it’s fun to come and see and it would help other people who might be questioning.

— Chase Wall, Booneville, N.C. I haven’t been to a parade before.

They are important. Our parades will show we deserve our freedoms.

— Jordan Beam, Booneville, N.C.

This is my very first time at NC Pride. It is very exciting.

— Doreen Donavan, Sanford, N.C. I came to bring my girlfriend. I wanted her to experience being out and proud.

— Jeannine Hogan, Wilmington, N.C. I always come to Pride. It’s the only place to be with the community in the state and see very different parts of the community. It’s also nice to be out in droves when 50 years ago we couldn’t do this.

— Samantha Korb, Mebane, N.C. I’ve been coming every year. I can’t break the tradition.

— Lee Sartain, Raleigh, N.C.

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Oct. 2-15 . 2010

I wanted to come with my girlfriend and we brought our children. They wanted to come and its the first time they’ve been to anything like this.

— Wendy Perez, Sanford, N.C. This is my second time coming. I wanted to bring [my family] and we are having a ball.

— Lisa Nelson, Sanford, N.C.

by leslie robinson :: qnotes contributor

They meant well We’ve reached a point in America where many companies seek to do right by gay people. Once in a while, they get bit on the butt for it.

Microsoft recently lost a piece of its posterior to 26-year-old Josh Moore of West Virginia. Moore is an avid gamer and as an unemployed factory worker, he’s got plenty of time to indulge his passion for Microsoft’s Xbox Live.

Moore favors “shooters” like Call of Duty, Medal of Honor and Ghost Recon. Since I don’t know Ghost Recon from Casper the Friendly Ghost, I’m out of my depth here.

But, I do grasp that people play these games online and Moore was gearing up for a Search and Destroy competition when Microsoft searched and destroyed him or at least his alter ego. The colossal corporation suspended Moore’s gaming privileges, believing he had violated Xbox Live’s code of conduct.

In his profile, Moore had listed his hometown as Fort Gay. Can you see where this is going?

Fort Gay is a real town of about 800 located along West Virginia’s border with Kentucky.

But, somebody, presumably a fellow gamer, smelled insult among the bullets, explosions and general mayhem and complained to the Xbox Live folks.

“Someone took the phrase ‘fort gay WV’ and believed that the individual who had that was trying to offend or trying to use it in a pejorative manner,” said Stephen Toulouse, director of policy and enforcement for Xbox Live, to The Associated Press. “Unfortunately, one of my people agreed with that.”

Moore found himself up a creek without a joystick.

“At first I thought, ‘Wow, somebody’s thinking I live in the gayest town in West Virginia or something.’ I was mad . . . It makes me feel like they hate gay people,” he said.

“I’m not even gay and it makes me feel like they were discriminating.”

I am gay, and I’m confused.

talkback

VIEWS

general gayety

It’s not clear whether Moore thought Microsoft or the person who complained was discriminating against gays. Either way, Microsoft and the complainer were actually trying to do the opposite. Moore intended no offense. Microsoft intended to prevent offense. Moore was offended.

Who, huh, wha’?

An angry Moore called customer service, figuring he could explain that Fort Gay really exists. But, the representative said if Moore put Fort Gay in his profile again, Xbox Live would cancel his account and keep his money.

Now I know whom they use as a model for their games’ tough-guy characters.

“I told him, Google it—25514!” Moore said, listing Fort Gay’s ZIP code. “He said, ‘I can’t help you.’”

Mayor David Thompson got involved and I can just imagine his call to customer service: “What do you people think I’m the mayor of, Brigadoon?”

Even if Thompson managed to convince the representative of Fort Gay’s existence, it didn’t solve Moore’s problem. The mayor was told the city’s name didn’t matter — the word “gay” was inappropriate in any context.

Hmmmm. Protecting us by eliminating us.

Making us as ghostly as Casper. I’m feeling mighty pallid.

The employee got that wrong, said Toulouse, the Xbox Live rules enforcer. The player’s contract says users may not write profile text that could offend others. But, the Code of Conduct says players can use such words as gay and transgender in their profile.

Toulouse said the company has modified its training and he plans to apologize to Moore.

Microsoft might be feeling that no good deed goes unpunished. In this swirl of good intentions, the vacuum sucked up everybody.

It’s a good thing, though, that this incident showed the Xbox honchos the need to refine their procedures. Before they get calls from Gay, Mich., and Gay, Ga. : : info:

LesRobinson@aol.com . generalgayety.com

Letters to the editor and comments from goqnotes.com.

Web comments are not edited for grammar or punctuation.

Thank you, Lady Gaga I was lucky enough to go see Lady Gaga in concert in Charlotte, front row! Never have I had more fun or been so personally moved at a concert before. So many will hate on her for her outrageous costumes or attack her for her personal appearance and especially her stand on gay rights. Yet her message is love — love yourself for who you are, accept those who are different, allow equality to everyone.

I carefully examined the diverse crowd that filled the sold out arena. There was no “one type” or specific group of people. Gay and straight. Black and white. Old and young.

Boys and girls. Such diversity! Together we all were united by Gaga’s message of acceptance and unity, not to mention her unbelievable performance.

Ironic — on my way into the concert, a group of protestors were yelling and screaming to the fans approaching the arena.

Shockingly, a man yelled into my face, “God does not love you because you show your

fleshy breasts, you homo loving heathen.”

Gaga’s words to us: “God loves us all. God doesn’t make mistakes.”

I think everyone could learn a lesson of tolerance for others from this young woman. I will end with another Gaga quote of the night: “Don’t leave here tonight loving me more.

Leave here loving yourself.”

— Amy Laugher, letter Pride Charlotte feedback In response to our Sept. 18 article on Pride Charlotte, two readers say: I wish Pride a lot of luck this year because there are a lot of people in this community who won’t go near anything that Denise Palm Beck touches. I’m on the fence.

— billy j, web, Sept. 18 I too wish them great success with this event. But I am not attending for multiple reasons one being I don’t like the location. I am going to Blue Ridge Pride instead.

— Rita, web, Sept. 18

Oct. 2-15 . 2010

qnotes

BRIEFS

news notes: from the carolinas, nation and world compiled by Lainey Millen :: lainey@goqnotes.com | David Stout :: david@goqnotes.com | Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

Charlotte Charlotte church sued

CHARLOTTE — A Charlotte man has sued New Birth Charlotte with allegations that its bishop, Eddie Long, coerced him into a sexual relationship when he was 17, The Associated Press reported Sept. 24.

New Birth Charlotte is a satellite church of Long’s New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Lithonia, Ga. Long faces similar lawsuits and allegations from three other young men.

Together, all four claim Long coerced them into sex when they were only 17 or 18.

In 2007, the Southern Poverty Law Center named Long “one of the most virulently homophobic black leaders in the religiously based anti-gay movement.” According to RawStory. com, Long gave a sermon at his Lithonia church saying about gay and lesbian people, “God says you deserve death.”

Long has vowed to fight the allegations.

— M.C.

‘Pageant’ to hold auditions

CHARLOTTE — Actor’s Theatre of Charlotte and Stuart Williams Productions are holding auditions for “Pageant the Musical,” a Theatre 650 special event, on Oct. 9 at the theatre at 650 Stonewall Ave. Auditions are by appointment only. Seven men are needed who have singing ability and

who can be fluid in movement. Actors will be compensated. The show runs will run Jan. 622, 2011. For more information or to schedule an audition appointment, call 704-342-2251.

— L.M.

Triangle Couple vies for Swedish wedding

CHAPEL HILL — A gay couple, Brett Kessler and Thomas Landreth are in the running to win a Swedish ice hotel wedding destination, The Daily Tar Heel reports.

Scandinavian Airlines is sponsoring the contest. The announcement will be made on Oct. 13. The flight will take place on Dec. 6 for the lucky couple who wins.

Stays in luxury hotels such as Icehotel and Stockholm’s Hotel Skeppsholmen, as well as the ceremony and car rental make up the winning package. Voting is open until Oct. 10 at love.flysas.net.

Kessler is a senior at the University of North Carolina. Landreth graduated in May. For more, visit the campus’ student newspaper at dailytarheel.com.

— L.M.

Health Action Alert: Student Privacy

STATEWIDE — A petition targeted at the North Carolina State Board of Community College on change.org comes on the coattail of the Board’s current debate on whether it would bar students from admission based upon health conditions.

Students would be asked to disclose their health history, and for some with particular medical conditions, this could mean that their enrollment might be denied.

WRAL.com reported that an ACLU staff member said that “the policy could be so broad and vague in nature, that it could lead to rampant abuse and misuse by college administrators.”

For more information or to sign, visit wral.com/news/education/story/8303878/ or gayrights.change.org/petitions/view/tell_the_ north_carolina_state_board_of_community_ colleges_to_protect_student_privacy.

— L.M.

State receives $1 million

STATEWIDE — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) announced Sept. 15 a total of $6.2 million in new grants, to be given to several health departments over three years. North Carolina’s share of the funds amounts to $352,000 per year for three years — a total of $1,056,000. Other program areas receiving similar funding include New York City, Philadelphia, San Francisco, Texas and Washington, D.C. The new grants will be used to streamline health services for similar diseases, including HIV/AIDS, other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), viral hepatitis and tuberculosis a release from the CDC said. The CDC hopes the grants will increase collaboration among various programs and the integration of prevention and testing services.

The CDC says HIV, STDs, hepatitis and

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Oct. 2-15 . 2010

tuberculosis often share many “behavioral, social, environmental and biological factors,” putting some people at risk for HIV infection as well as acquiring other STDs and hepatitis. They say increased infection risks for varied diseases are higher among certain populations, including men who have sex with men (MSM). According to the release, about 57 percent of new HIV infections are among MSM and 63 percent of new syphilis cases are among MSM. About 25 percent of all people with HIV are also infected with the hepatitis C virus.

— M.C.

Campus Scene Proud as punch

CHAPEL HILL — Tom Greene, a government and economics teacher at Chapel Hill High School, has started a network for LGBT educators, the Proud Apple Social Club (PASC). He felt that there was no arena for LGBT teachers to talk and meet. The club begun after last year’s N.C. Pride when he met with other teachers.

The networking made available by this organization has become a valuable tool for those who join and gives its teachers an outlet for expression in a safe environment.

They meet the first Thursday or Friday of each month at 7 p.m. at The Station in Carrboro.

His goal is to ensure that there is acceptance within the school’s environment, be it for students or teachers.

Greene is a government and economics teacher. He has spoken to his school’s Queer Straight Alliance, as well.

In some cases, out teachers do not get good reception by their colleagues. The hope of the PASC is to help change the impression of those within the academia — staff, students and parents, alike.

Both The Chapel Hill News and The Durham News have written extensively about Greene’s club.

For more information, email tomgreene23@gmail.com or visit the group’s Facebook page at facebook.com.

— L.M.

Campus harassment stats documented

CHARLOTTE — Campus Pride in September released a report saying that LGBT university employees and students in significant numbers have experienced harassment and lack of safety, inclusiveness in policies, as well as programs and practices during their time at school. The figures were derived from 5,150 people from nearly 100 nationwide educational centers. Results in this first-ever chronicled report say to a “chilly” campus climate, as compared to 12 percent of straight people.

Written by Campus Pride’s Q Research Institute for Higher Education and with a foreword by George Kuh, Ph.D., The 2010 State of Higher Education for LGBT People is a call to action for college and university administrators, educators, student leaders and elected officials. For more information, visit campuspride.org.

— L.M.

Progressives gather around ‘Table’ WASHINGTON, D.C. —The National Black Justice Coalition, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, National Stonewall Democrats and Pride At Work are co-convening the “LGBTQ Table” for One Nation Working Together, a new progressive movement demanding secure jobs, justice and quality education.

LGBTQ groups will be joining with thousands of progressive allies in Washington, D.C., on Oct. 2 for One Nation Working Together’s national rally.

More than 200 organizations have endorsed One Nation Working Together, including the NAACP, AFL-CIO, SEIU and many other labor, civil and human rights, faith, immigrant rights, environmental, women and peace organizations.

The nation’s economic climate has left people all across the country vulnerable, and the ongoing discrimination in employment, schools, housing, health care and the absence of relationship recognition present added economic barriers and stresses for many within the LGBTQ community. In addition, the 12 million undocumented immigrants, including at least half a million LGBTQ people living in this country and 36,000 binational couples, deserve access to a system that allows workers to earn legal status and permits people from all backgrounds to stay with their families.

Also on Oct. 2, the Whitman-Walker Clinic in Washington, D.C., is hosting its 24th annual AIDS Walk Washington, which takes place prior to the One Nation Working Together rally.

— D.S.

National Adoptions get green light

FLORIDA —On Sept. 22, the Third District Court of Appeal in Florida unanimously upheld a 2008 Miami-Dade Circuit Court decision striking down Florida’s anti-gay adoption ban and permitting Martin Gill, a gay man, to adopt two foster children he and his partner have parented for years. It was expected that the State would automatically appeal the decision to the Florida Supreme Court, but

Gov. Charlie Crist told the media he wanted to speak with Gill before deciding how to proceed. Gill responded through the media that he was willing to meet with Crist, but nothing had been scheduled at press time.

— D.S.

PFLAG, GLSEN partner

WASHINGTON — Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) and the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) have jointly launched the Claim Your Rights campaign, a landmark effort to empower students and their allies to report incidents of bullying, harassment or discrimination to the Office for Civil Rights at the U.S. Education Department. GLSEN’s 2009 National School Climate Survey found that nearly 9 out of 10 LGBT students said they were harassed in school in the past year due to their sexual orientation or how masculine or feminine they are in appearance or behavior.

— D.S.

Party releases governance document

WASHINGTON — On Sept. 23, Republican leaders in the U.S. House of Representatives released their “Pledge to America,” outlining how they would govern should they win back control of the House in November. While the document focuses heavily on economic issues, it promotes thinly-veiled hostility toward LGBT equality, promising support for “traditional marriage” and opposing legislation and court decisions that “thwart the will of the people and overturn their votes and their values.” “The lengthy record of anti-LGBT efforts during a decade of Republican control of Congress speaks volumes,” said HRC President Joe Solmonese.

— D.S.

Mental health conference slated

LOS ANGELES — The 16th Annual LGBTAffirmative Psychotherapy Conference will be held Oct. 17 at Antioch University Los Angeles. The one-day conference is designed to meet the educational needs of psychiatrists, psychologists, LCSW, MFT, MSW, interns and students of psychology.

Speaking at the conference will be Alan Downs, PhD, California licensed clinical psychologist, author of The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man’s World and former CEO of Michael’s House, a drug and alcohol treatment center in Palm Springs, Calif.

— D.S.

POLICE BEAT

Don’t forget:

Community forum with CMPD Chief Rodney Monroe Mark your calendars for a special community forum with Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department (CMPD) officials, including Chief of Police Rodney Monroe, scheduled for Oct. 12, 6 p.m.-8 p.m. at the Lesbian & Gay Community Center of Charlotte, 820 Hamilton St., Suite B11.

Organized by several community members, including Mecklenburg LGBT Political Action Committee (MeckPAC) steering committee member Roberta Dunn, the forum will allow community members to learn about recent developments with CMPD, ask questions and provide feedback on the possible creation of an LGBT police liaison position in the department. The forum is free and open to the public.

For past news coverage, visit goqnotes.com/8212/.

Oct. 2-15 . 2010

qnotes

TRANSITIONS

In Memoriam: Harriet Redic Bell qnotes remembers longtime community advocate On Sept. 14, 2010, longtime LGBT and HIV/AIDS community advocate Harriet Redic Bell, 62, passed away. A standing room-only service — with attendees spilling over into the church’s library and hallways — was held Sept. 19 at the Metropolitan Community Church of Charlotte. The service was attended by various community leaders and organizations, including Rev. Donna Stroud and Bishop Tonyia Rawls of Unity Fellowship Church of Charlotte.

Bell, a volunteer and safe-sex educator in the

Harriet Redic: On the edge of 17 AIDS survivor celebrates another miraculous year

by David Stout :: Dec. 20, 2003

From the author: Charlotte’s LGBT and HIV/AIDS communities have lost a true angel of mercy with the recent passing of Harriet Redic Bell. This amazing woman, who had helped scores transition from this plane over the last two decades, made her own final journey Sept. 14 – my birthday, ironically enough. In the end, she succumbed to natural causes unrelated to her HIV-positive status, just as she predicted when I interviewed her seven years ago for a compelling biographical feature story. In Harriet’s honor, the piece is

qnotes

Oct. 2-15 . 2010

early days of the Metrolina AIDS Project, became a friend and mentor to many LGBT and HIV-positive Charlotteans. Her service to the community and its people was for years carried out with a big smile and open arms. Friends say she was vivacious and never let a moment go by without adding some sort of special signature to life’s odd, yet brilliant, panorama.

Even as she aged, Bell continued her service and commitment. In 2005, POZ magazine caught a glimpse of her at a reception held by the Campaign to End AIDS (C2EA), on the eve of its massive, national gathering in Washington, D.C.

reprinted here in full, just as it appeared in the Dec. 20, 2003 issue of qnotes.

There are countless descriptives that can be used to characterize Harriet Redic — devout Christian, African-American, transgender woman and transplanted Charlottean being just a few — but one is drawing the lion’s share of the attention these days: longtime AIDS survivor.

Harriet, 55, just marked her 17th year with the disease. To better appreciate this milestone, consider that Harriet has lived with HIV so long that when she was first diagnosed the virus was just starting to be called that (it was previously known as HTLV-III), no president had ever mentioned AIDS in a public address (Ronald Reagan didn’t say the word until the following year), the first AIDS drug AZT was a year away and the red ribbon was still five years away.

Harriet found out she was HIV positive on

“I came to C2EA to get more information on how to reach people,” she told the magazine. “I want to learn how to get funding and try to prevent this disease from infecting people in the future.”

At her funeral last month, friends and colleagues gathered to say goodbye, and remember and celebrate Bell’s legacy.

There were hands waving. There was clapping. There was sadness and joy. But, more than anything, there was an outpouring of love and respect for one of the community’s most caring and loving leaders.

Dec. 18, 1986. Further tests determined that her T-cell count was below 250 so she already had AIDS according to the medical standards of the time. She says it was like “receiving a death sentence” when the doctor dispassionately broke the news.

“The doctor who gave me the results said she was sorry to tell me that I was HIV positive. She said she hoped I had good insurance and wouldn’t wear out the emergency room.

Then she walked out the door.”

In the aftermath, with little available counseling or support, Harriet tumbled into a crushing depression that culminated one fateful afternoon six months later.

“I lived about eight to 10 blocks from Independence Blvd., and I got out that day and started walking toward it. It was almost five o’clock rush hour and my intention was to continue right out into traffic and let it kill me.”

But just as Harriet was approaching the frenzied thoroughfare, she stopped. “I said

to myself, ‘You fool, what if you walk out into traffic, get ran over, get all broken up, laying up in the hospital and don’t die?’ I thought about that and knew I didn’t want to suffer so I turned around and walked back to the house.”

She says that soon after this pivotal event she emerged from her period of grieving ready for battle: “I stood and looked AIDS in the face by virtue of a mirror, and I pointed my finger and said, ‘You may take me out of here, but you will say that you had a fight on your hands because I’m going to give you the fight of my life.’”

The new girl Fighting adversity was commonplace for Harry S. Truman Burch, the second-youngest of nine siblings raised by a single mother in Ruby, S.C., during the segregated 1950s. It didn’t make things any easier that Harry knew he was supposed to be a girl and had the moxie to show it.

“In fifth grade I took one of my fourth-old-

est sister’s outfits — shoes, dress, everything — to school in a bag and at recess went into the bathroom and put it on. When I came out nobody could believe it. My classmates tried to shame me; the teacher tried to shame me — she even went home and told my mom

what had happened. It was very embarrassing for me but I knew it was something I wanted to do.”

Pressure at home and in the classroom kept Harry from further crossdressing at school but it didn’t stop his gender exploration

in the home of his supportive, oldest sister.

During weekend visits there he was allowed to live completely as a female — the happiest times of her young life Harriet recalls.

Harry moved from Ruby to Charlotte in 1964 but bounced back and forth for 10 years before finally settling in. Throughout the late ’70s and early ’80s he trained and worked as a professional tailor but his leisure time was dominated by two main pursuits: indulging in the city’s gay nightlife and sharpening the skills needed to fully transition into Harriet — most of the time doing both at once and occasionally to hilarious results.

“I was out on the dancefloor and I had on a big bouffant wig. We were doing the Jerk and next thing you know my wig went rolling across the floor. Rather than stand there embarrassed, I kept dancing and worked my way over, picked it up and put it back on my head without stopping. I made it look like an act but I said then that this would never happen to me again. The next time I went dancing I made sure there were plenty of pins in my wig.”

A healing heart After Harriet accepted her AIDS diagnosis she became heavily involved in the nascent prevention movement through Metrolina AIDS

see Redic on 10

Oct. 2-15 . 2010

qnotes

Redic leaves legacy continued from page 9

Project, an organization that had recently been started by six gay men in response to the growing health crisis. She began as a client but was soon volunteering as a safe-sex educator.

Thinking back over the scores of PWAs she met during those early years at MAP, Harriet — who began to live as a woman full-time during this period — says she isn’t “aware of a single one who’s still living. I cared for many of them through the end stages.”

One man that she helped to cross over into death left her with happy memories of a whirlwind courtship and a new last name.

“I first met Donald Redic at an HIV support meeting,” she recalls. “About two years later our paths crossed again when he was on his way to the hospital from the homeless shelter.

When he got out I gave him a room because I couldn’t stand to see him without a place to live as ill as he was.”

Harriet’s offer was magnanimous but it pales in comparison to what she agreed to do a few days later.

“We were sitting there talking and Donald — who was only in his late 20s — said he knew that he wouldn’t get the chance to do the one thing he wanted to do before he died.

I asked him what it was and he said, ‘I won’t have the chance to be married.’ I said, ‘Is it that important to you?’ and he told me that he didn’t want to die alone. I said, ‘I’ll marry you,’ and from that moment we started a sex-less relationship.”

The couple knew they were racing the

clock so a two-month engagement was followed by a holy union ceremony. Harriet and Donald were joined Sept. 11, 1993, at MCC Charlotte surrounded by a host of family and friends. Sadly, these same people would gather at the same place just a month and a half later for Donald’s funeral. Harriet gave a sobering lesson in pragmatism when she arrived at the funeral in a black, slightly altered version of her white wedding dress and explained that she had selected the dressmaking pattern with both ceremonies in mind.

Keeping the faith When questioned about her improbable longevity, Harriet steers the conversation toward the divine.

“My doctor always says that he can’t believe how great I’m doing. I tell him that I attribute my longevity to God and a positive attitude. When things get desperate I know that I need to go to the source from which all my help comes.”

Harriet nurtures her spirituality at MCC Charlotte, where she has been a member for nearly two decades and serves on the deacon staff. She loves to inject old-time gospel fervor into the worship services through her animated tambourine playing and singing.

One song that she performs regularly at the church has become something of a signature tune. It features the refrain, “The battle is not mine, it’s the Lord’s.” The lyrics reveal the evolution of Harriet’s understanding: once a woman fighting desperately to stay alive, today she is at peace — certain that a hedge of protection surrounds her.

Harriet says she believes this with such conviction that she is no longer concerned about dying from AIDS. “After surviving this disease for 17 years, I’ve honestly come to believe that I’ll die of natural causes just like anybody else. When I remember all that God has brought me through in the past, I have no fears about the future.” : :

Lesbian mayor to keynote GREENSBORO — Equality North Carolina executive director Ian Palmquist announced Monday that openly lesbian Houston Mayor Annise Parker would join his organization as keynote speaker at their 2010 Equality Conference.

The event, slated for Nov. 13 at the University of North Carolina-Greensboro, will be the fourth time Equality North Carolina has held their conference. An evening gala will also be held.

“We’re thrilled that Houston Mayor Annise Parker will join us on Saturday, November 13 to share her experience as the first openly gay mayor of a U.S. city with over a million residents,” Palmquist said in an email to members and supporters. “Mayor Parker has been open and honest about her sexual orientation throughout her political career. She and her partner, Kathy Hubbard have been together since 1990 and have two children.”

Parker, elected in 2009, heads up the largest U.S. city with an openly gay or lesbian mayor. Prior to her election, she served on the city council from 1997 to 2003 and as city controller from 2004 to 2009. She was named among Time Magazine’s Time 100 for 2010. : : — compiled by Matt Comer

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Sculptor challenges stereotypes, gender roles at Charlotte Fine Arts Show

by Tyler DeVere :: tdevere@goqnotes.com

Massachusett’s Michael Alfano one of many exhibitors at this year’s show, Oct. 9-10 Hot Works has a reputation of are more visual are able to consume the art with organizing some of the best art shows in the their eyes. For verbal learners, Alfano includes country, bringing world-renowned and local philosophical and literary quotes that express artists’ works to the public. The group’s Orchard the message of his art.

Lake Fine Arts Show in West Bloomfield, Mich., Additionally, sculptures offer a unique has been voted three years running as one of expression of the human form, which Alfano the top 100 art shows out of at least 3,000 in the says he’s “obsessed” with, whether it’s a face country, and they are once again bringing the or figure. It’s a particularly effective symbol same high quality to Charlotte. that “captures our attention” and “speaks to The third annual Charlotte Fine Arts Show will us dramatically,” says Alfano. Much of Alfano’s be held Oct. 9-10 at the Park Expo & Conference portfolio consists of faces as well as many nude Center (formerly the Charlotte sculptures of both men and women.

Merchandise Mart). Featured at Though he’s not gay himself, some of Alfano’s the show will be various art pieces do include male and female same-sex forms including sculpture, themes. No matter what form it might come in, photography, painting “love is love,” says Alfano, explaining why it and more. There will also doesn’t matter to him whether a person is gay or be demonstrations of how straight. the art is made, including Similarly, Alfano believes there are social pottery and woodturning pressures on people to maintain certain gender demonstrations. roles according to their physical sex. His views of The show will also masculinity and femininity are clearly displayed feature live entertainment in a sculpture called “And/Or,” in which male from several musical artists. and female anatomy Michael Alfano weaves symbols is alternately depicted A particularly interesting act is of love, no matter its form, into within one figure.

Michelet Innocent, who is known various pieces of his art. for feel-good, romantic music and “Every person is singing in English, French, Spanish on a spectrum of male and other languages. Jazz, blues and female attributes,” and classical music will also be Alfano explains after entertaining the crowds. referring to the expression Among the many artists whose of his own feminine side in work will be displayed at the show is his sculptures. sculptor Michael Alfano whose work In advocacy for these and includes nationally-noted monuments and other beliefs, many of Alfano’s philosophical sculptures. art works include something of Greatly inspiring to him, Alfano believes a political message. Equality, art is important to “help people to see life he says, is one of many issues in a different way.” Because many have he finds important. In a 1998 become caught up in society’s high-paced sculpture, “Stand Up, Speak Out,” nature, art is needed to “break out of that busy (partly created to address drunk driving) mentality” and consider what is truly important Alfano purposefully depicted a figure of progin life. ress and change as African-American because The Massachusetts artist explains why of the history of disenfranchisement and social sculpting is such a uniquely poignant and injustices perpetrated against that community meaningful art form that anyone can appreciin this country. To this day, the artist says, the ate. Alfano’s art is designed to communicate figure represents a call to speak out against on multiple levels, to connect with multiple what is wrong in our society, including similar senses. For those who are tactile learners, the injustices and discrimination still taking place sculptures can be touched or held. Others who today. : :

Sculptor Michael Alfano’s “And/Or” challenges notions of gender roles, with masculinity and femininity combined and depicted within a single human form.

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If you go…

The Charlotte Fine Arts Show will be held Oct. 9 and 10 at The Park Expo and Conference Center. Exhibits will be open 10 a.m.-5 p.m. each day.

Admission is $5 at the door, $4 in advance. Children under 12 are free.

For more information or to purchase tickets, visit hotworks.org.

Oct. 2-15 . 2010

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ees. 50+1 is the magic equation.

However, because there are instances where there may be a drop below that magic number, in reality an employer needs to have closer to 60 employees to make this work. Both of the major health care providers of North Carolina —- United Health and Blue Cross Blue Shield (BCBS) of NC -— have this rule.

Incredulous, I asked Equality North Carolina executive director Ian Palmquist about this rule of thumb among insurance providers. Ian contacted the Insurance Commissioner’s office, which said that there was no law that stipulated this magic, arbitrary number within the state of North Carolina. The 50+1 rule seems to be something shared between the healthcare providers. Ian stated that not even the employees of Equality North Carolina who are LGBTQ are provided with domestic partner benefits because of this 50+1 issue.

I have placed phone calls with both United Health and BCBS and am waiting for phone calls back from them for their rationale for this seemingly arbitrary rule. This story will continue.

on being a gay parent by brett webb-mitchell :: qnotes contributor

50 + 1 I am currently on the Board of a local non-profit, assigned to the Personnel and Diversity Committee. In reviewing our policies on healthcare benefit packages for full-time non-LGBTQ employees and their families, I sought reassurance that we offered the same healthcare benefits plan to our full-time LGBTQ employees and their families. I was taken aback in learning that we did not provide the same benefits plan for full-time LGBTQ members with a domestic partner and a child or children. With a gut sense that there was an injustice being perpetrated, our Committee assigned the non-profit organization’s human resource person with the responsibility of investigating the policies of our current insurance company.

This is where it gets interesting: In order that our full-time LGBTQ employees have equal access to purchase the benefits plan that is available to our non-LGBTQ full-time employees and their spouses and children, the non-profit organization first needs 50 non-LGBTQ full-time employees! Once there are 50 employees, then an LGBTQ employee may have access to participate in the healthcare benefits that are given to the non-LGBTQ employ-

As a child, I grew up in a family in which I always had health care insurance. My children grew up with health care insurance coverage. The coverage keeps us from going bankrupt when an illness or unexpected hospitalization occurs in my family. I am well aware of the privilege it is to have access to health care in this country and glad for the financial means to purchase health care. And, I write this column amid new rules that came into effect recently, in which my young adult daughter can now be covered up to her 26th birthday and children with pre-existing health conditions who were once denied health care, must be given access, thanks to hard-fought laws that came into effect. That is why I was surprised to trip over this act of injustice as a board member at the non-profit organization I serve. The rule is arbitrary from what I can tell, though others have suggested to me that some organizations may keep under the 50 person limit in order to not provide benefits to LGBTQ people simply because they are LGBTQ people, especially in the case of being in a domestic partner relationship or having a child or children. All that we are asking for is equal access to purchase or be covered under the same health care benefits as non-LGBTQ people. It is time for 50+1 to be part of our past, yet not forgotten. This is but one more way that society at-large shows its bias against LGBTQ people and our families. In turn, we need to strive in being sure others have equal access to health care benefits, regardless of the number of full-time employees. : :

qomunity qonexions u

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STAGE

Inspirational and hilarious, CAST aces ‘Steambath’ Performance open now through Oct. 16

by Tyler DeVere :: tdevere@goqnotes.com

Originally written by Bruce Jay Friedman more than 40 years ago, the Carolina Actors’ Studio Theatre’s (CAST) production of “Steambath” is both highly entertaining and greatly meaningful.

Tandy (Christian Casper) arrives in a limbo between life and afterlife portrayed as a steambath. Upon first sitting next to an “old timer” (Jim Esposito, whose character is reminiscent of Danny DeVito’s Louie De Palma from “Taxi”), Tandy is unaware of his own death. Shortly after Tandy meets a ditsy blonde girl (Shannon Wightman-Girard, also the show’s choreographer) whose trivial concerns carried over from her life on Earth (Bloomingdale’s, Mounds bars) are juxtaposed against Tandy’s seemingly more substantial regrets (strained relationship with his 10-year-old daughter, new girlfriend, his next book). Stubborn to give up on his mortality, Tandy becomes determined to get a second chance at rectifying the time he wasted in his life.

When he meets God (J.R. Adduci), Tandy initially refuses to believe the lowly janitor is truly the Almighty — Tandy’s doubt frustrates the emotional creator greatly. After a few fairly unconvincing and comical feats to prove his divinity, Tandy eventually tries to convince God to let him return to Earth, and that is where the real fun begins.

God is portrayed as a Puerto Rican steambath attendant who is perhaps slightly crazy and clearly not all-knowing. Instead of the wise omniscient figure most of us would expect, God seems more like a stressed out air traffic controller — except he’s not only directing planes in the sky, but also orchestrating every other event on the planet.

Adduci’s hilarious performance portrays

an idea of what might be those “mysterious ways” in which God is known for working.

Well-conceived and excellently performed characters will keep you entertained throughout the entire play. The main characters are hilarious but so are the other characters who dance, sing and banter, in addition to bringing the story together nicely.

Including a wealth-obsessed stockbroker, God’s odd assistant Gottlieb (German name meaning God’s Love), two gay men (who are nude very briefly) and several others, the supporting cast makes a great contribution to the show.

Even if certain gay stereotypes or

gay slurs — used in perfectly tasteful humor — sometimes make you cringe a little, you will still deeply appreciate “Steambath.” The play begs the question, what if you died right now? Would you walk proudly into the light (or disintegrate into oblivion, depending on your beliefs), or would you have regrets? “Steambath” is powerfully profound inspiration to not just live but do so with vigor and drive every single day — because, after all, each day could be your last. : : info: “Steambath” is currently on stage.

Learn more about the show, get show times and buy tickets at nccast.com.

J.R. Adduci plays the character of God in CAST’s production of “Steambath.”

Photo Credit: Shannon Hager

Wetherall takes the stage HIGH POINT — “Queer As Folk” actor, Jack Wetherall, who played Vic Grassi, is appearing in the North Carolina Shakespeare Festival’s production of “The Tempest” as Prospero, which ends on Oct. 4.

This classically trained Canadian actor has a litany of credits to his career, but cannot be forgotten in his “QAF” run as Uncle Vic to Hal Spark’s Michael Novotny. His cut-to-the-chase demeanor can be best remembered with lines such as, “No sex is fully safe. If it is, you’re doing it wrong. There is always an element of risk, but one needs to make it as safe as one possibly can to be responsible, not only for one’s own health but for one’s partner, as well.”

The High Point Enterprise reported that Wetherall is able to adjust his presentation to the medium in which he is working, be it in front of a camera, in a small theater or a large venue. However, he is most comfortable on stage. He jumped at the chance to play Prospero, whom he feels is the “great role in Shakespeare and one of the great roles in literature,” the Enterprise stated. : : — compiled by Lainey Millen

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drag rag by miss della :: qnotes contributor

Oh, mercy bells! It’s pageant news!

Well, ladies and gents, here I go again! You know the drill — it’s about crowns and gowns here and sometimes a tux or two. Just depends. I hope everyone is doing well, getting ready for a gorgeous autumn full of contests.

Y’all know how I do — if there’s anything to clear up from the last one, I start with that. I did want to go back and mention a couple awards and such from Miss NC America that took place recently at Scorpio. The other finalists from Top 10 included Aqua St. Mark, Jazmun Tomas, Aiesha Paris, Robyn Cassadine and Valerie Rockwell. Best Non-Finalist was Paris Nicole Brooks. The Erica Van Cort Congeniality Award went to Nirobi. Natalie Smalls won Best Promoter. Macy Alexander and husband, Jason, won the Melissa Montgomery Best Preliminary Award for their Miss Divas contest.

Tara Storm won the Brandy Alexander Horizon Award and Tiffany Bonet and Kirby Kolby were inducted into the Miss NC Hall of Fame. Just as I predicted, I missed a former who was in the house, not dolled up, but working just as hard and that was Tiffany Storm. Not only does Tiff help run the pageant, she also hosts the shows there on Wednesdays and Fridays!

While on the subject of Miss Gay America prelims, other recent winners include Miss Arkansas, Shawn Tyler Andrews; MidWest, Trixie LaRue; IL, Tabitha Sexton; AZ, Celebrity Starr; Miss Mid-East, Jessica Jade with gorgeous runner-up Dior Douglas; VA, LaCountress

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Farrington and RU Charlotte’s own Jessica Raynes Starr; Atlantic States, Tatiyanna Voce’ and RU Miss D. Meaner (a former Miss NC America); TN, Ashlyn Tyler and RU Pat McCooter; and Tri-States, Jade Sinclair and RU Dakota Riviera. The reigning Miss America, Coco Montrese, looked great for her quick walk and presentation at Miss Continental in Chicago on Labor Day Monday, along with Brooke Divine LaReese (pictured this time), among others.

Brooke is the new Miss World National, crowned in Atlanta the last week in August.

Her RU was Malayka Dickerson. Her king is Cameron Black. There will be a victory party at The Closet here in Charlotte on Fri., Oct. 8 featuring Brooke and Jamie Monroe, a former Miss GA U.S.ofA. (she made Top 5 that year!), NC America and Hawaii LaCage star.

That brings us to Continental talk, of course — final night seemed to fly! The Top 12 included the winner, Mokha Montrese, 1st RU Sassy Divine, 2nd RU Fontasia L’Amour, Angel Cavalli, Melina Velina Famosz, Chevelle Brooks, Lorna Vando, Aurora Sexton, Tiffany T. Hunter, Genesis, Kym Moore and Miss Carolina, Tatianna Braxton. The contest was outstanding and I’ll change subjects with this thought — congrats to Mokha, finally, and good job, Armani!

On the eve of Miss NC U.S.ofA. at Large taking place at Night Owls in Gastonia on 9/24, I’ll mention other recent prelim winners like Missouri, Robyn Hunter; South Central States, Gizelle Bevon Ashton with RU Donet McKim; Sunshine States, Noel Leon and RU Angelica Sanchez; TX, Sasha Lauren and RU Chanel LeMasters; and AZ, Delorian Chase. Good luck to Big Shirli and Porkchop as they duke it out in the Gashouse! LOL! Miss and Mr. Unlimited were recently held in Hickory at Club Cabaret and I’m happy to report that Arabia Knight-Addams is the new queen! She won Interview, Talent and Gown and tied with 2nd RU Unshantie Fox in Sportswear. The first RU was Miss NC, Raven Wood. Also on that night, Izaya Cole became the new Mr., along with RUs Ciero Whitney and that gorgeous Tucker Wood.

Other local news includes a new Miss Summer Dream by the name of Cherries Jubilee with RUs Roxy C. Moorecox and Vanessa Cottrell. A few NC Unlimited prelims include Miss Hickory, which Diamonique won with RU Vanity Micheals; Catawba Valley, Monica Jeffries and Ciera Fontaine; and finally, Tarhell, Mo’Nique Chanel with RUs Natasha Diamond and Vanna Black. The new Miss Roanoke At Large is Connie Williams with RU Anastacia Page. I’ve got to get over to Salisbury at some point to check out Club Babylon where all the girls are going to work.

Cinnamen St. James is the show director and the ole gal has asked me to come take a peek. Also, I’ll mention that Miss Queen City NC U.S.ofA. is coming up on Nov. 12 and will take place at the Closet. Promoter Brandonna Dupree has asked Miss Della to get all dolled up and come judge.

The judging part I can do — we’ll see about the big blonde lady showing up. Ha! I’ll wrap it up with the Carolina Star Search I briefly mentioned in the last Rag. It’s a coproduction of H20 in Columbia and Gastonia’s Night Owls with Whitney Leigh and Malibu Barbie running the shows. Quarterly at each of these bars, they’ll do semifinals. Next July 1, all the winners will compete for $1,000. The first winners were Buster Cherry of Gastonia and Talon of Columbia. : : info: Drop me a line, OK? TheTeaMissD@yahoo.com

FILM

New doc features gay Latino youth This fall’s debate leading up to a botched vote in the U.S. Senate focused primarily on “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” in many LGBT circles. The same piece of legislation that contained the impending DADT repeal also contained the DREAM Act, a provision that would allow undocumented young people the opportunity to achieve legal status through high school graduation and two years of college or military service.

A new documentary released in September, “Papers: Stories of Undocumented Youth,” contains the story of Jorge Gutiérrez, a 26-year-old Latino man who identifies as queer. His mother brought him to the U.S. when he was 10, but he went on to graduate from California State University in 2008.

Attending, much less graduating from, college is no small achievement for young people like Gutiérrez. Facing seemingly insurmountable odds as an undocumented youth, he also faced many of the same challenges LGBT young people face even as U.S. citizens.

The film addresses in-depth the history and possible future of the DREAM Act, which like a DADT repeal will be considered again after the November elections.

The film has been screened only three times in North Carolina (once in WIlmington and twice in Chapel Hill) and not at all in South Carolina. For more on the film, including a trailer, information on screening licensing or to buy a copy, visit papersthemovie.com. : :

Top: A still from the film, “Papers.” Right/ Below/Left: Jorge Gutiérrez, a queer undocumented youth featured in the film.

Photo Credit: “Papers”/Graham Street Productions.

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tell trinity by trinity :: qnotes contributor

Clubs, Lies And Deep See Fishing Hey Girl, There’s a guy at the gay clubs whom I think likes me. But, sometimes he says he’s “bi”, sometimes “just curious” and other times he’s “straight.” He kissed me twice in the last year when he was sober. What should I do?

The Daily Report, Milwaukee, Wisconsin Hey Daily Report, First the bad news, even though he sounds like a fun, straight/bi curious, undecided guy who enjoys your gay company, this really fits more into the “wasting your time” category for The Gay Film Festival than the “true life boyfriend” category. By constantly changing sexualities he probably just wants to be liked, not break your heart, honey. Now the good news! Enjoy him as a friend. Even though catching a straight fish is exciting, a gay fish will stay longer and let you taste its meat.

Hello Trinity, My very “spiritual” boyfriend keeps pushing me to work less and appreciate life more.

What am I supposed to do when I’m not working, shop, chat on the internet or watch TV? I like working. How else am I going to make money?

Work vs. Life, Elizabeth, NJ

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Hello Work vs. Life, You are dead right and dead wrong. In order to be wealthy you do have to work and work hard. I applaud you for that. However, have you heard of inner wealth? Well, baby, maybe it’s time! (My cartoon may show you how.)

Dearest Trinity, My friend of three years and I recently became boyfriends, but we’ve only had weird sex, twice. Oh, yeah, he moved, so I never see him and when I do he doesn’t seem interested. Does he still want me?

Dead Desires, Harrisburg, PA Dearest Dead Desires, Let me get this right, he moved away, you hardly see him and when you do he never wants to have sex. Not only is he not your boyfriend, but he’s not anything except an old friend you had bad sex with. So, point blank, it’s over, if it even started. Now, pumpkin, go find a new boyfriend who wants to please you not tease you!

Dear Trinity, My girlfriend is always late.

It’s becoming a big problem, not for her as much as for me. Help!

Late Date, San Diego, CA Dear Late Date, Waiting for someone once is awful, but waiting time and time again can make you loony.

However, there are alternatives with:

Trinity’s Tough Tips For Dealing With Someone Who’s Always Late 1. C ommunication: Ask for a 30-minute warning before she’s actually due and/or another 10-minute warning before she actually arrives!

2. L ie: If dinner is 6 p.m., tell him 5:30 p.m. and never be ready before 5:45 p.m.

3. N o Excuses: Tell her no excuse is necessary. It’s about communicating her lateness before she’s late, not having good excuses after she’s arrived.

4. W arning: Let him know that if he wants to be late he just needs to call and tell you. He does not need an excuse!

5. A cceptance: Just accept that she will often be late and this is how it will often be. Don’t act all upset and surprised every time!

6. S tay Busy: Always keep busy with things to do while waiting for a typically late person.

7. T he Truth: Being late is not a crime, punishment or international offense, it’s just how some people are. Accept it!

8. T he Other Foot: Remember, if he’s always late then you can always be late too and never feel bad.

9. E nding the Stress: It’s better for you to call and check in 10 minutes before she’s due than to wait angrily hoping she calls you.

10. Lastly, Attitude: Yes you can make someone feel bad for being late, but after a few times you better accept it with open arms or find someone else to put your arms around! : : With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally. info: www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.com Tell Trinity, P.O. Box 23861 . Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33307 Sponsored by: Provincetown Business Guild 800-637-8696 . www.ptown.org

out in the stars by charlene lichtenstein :: qnotes contributor

October 2 - 15 Show your pride this October when many planets sweep through lovely Libra and sexy Scorpio. Expect a few surprises in your love department when Venus retrogrades. A certain you-know-who could become a you-know-what.

LIBRA (09.24-10.23) Gay Libras with a love song in their heart will have to pay a few musicians to get it played. But, as you gain the love of your life and the grand lifestyle you both seek, it is all worth it in the end…err isn’t it?

SCORPIO (10.24-11.22) Can you drum up the enthusiasm of the crowd and sway them to your way of thinking? Probably. But, first decide if you want to be the leader of the Pride parade. Most gay Scorps are content to control things from behind the scenes. No chance now.

SAGITTARIUS (11.23-12.22) Who knew that you had such a large and adoring fan base?

Gay Archers could be flattered to the point of arrogance, but try to hold your ego in check.

Remember that you attract even more flies with sugar than with sass, or something like that.

CAPRICORN (12.23-01.20) Pink Caps with nothing on their social calender soon fill it to overflowing. Enjoy your popularity surge and see how you can add to the excitement and the festivities. Wearing a lampshade on your head may be one way to do it, but I don’t recommend it.

AQUARIUS (01.21-02.19) Have you been concentrating on your professional path, Aqueerius? Use your political acumen to create the right opportunity for advancement. You could just take some time off and coast, but why not do that after you get where you want?

PISCES (02.20-03.20) This is an excellent time to travel, Guppie. The idea is to expand your current space and experience some new places and people. Or, try a new course of study.

Take a yoga class or join a book club. Whatever

you do, make it totally new and unexpected.

ARIES (03.21-04.20) Be prepared. You will have many many choices from the dating tasting menu, but try to be discerning and discreet.

Tiny things may have a way of blowing up, way out of proportion. Ah, I guess you can only dream that that will happen!

TAURUS (04.21-05.21) Current relationships need some tender loving care. Are you getting all that you need ? If not, make inroads into longstanding issues. For queer Bulls on the hoof, trot over and explore some new pastures. You are ready to run with the best of them.

GEMINI (05.22-06.21) This time period is good for getting longstanding tasks completed and off your desk. You muster greater reserves of energy and concentration, for a change. Get moving on your projects before your attention is diverted and squandered. Oops. Too late.

CANCER (06.22-07.23) Gay Crabs find ways of enjoying themselves. Good thing, too — you were getting too boring and fried from too much work. See what tasks you can defer and take some time to enjoy life. That does not mean leaving work at 5 rather than at 8.

LEO (07.24-08.23) Find any excuse to entertain at home. Pick from your flock and arrange a stimulating group for a stimulating evening.

Proud Lions can become the talk to the town and the A-list invitation to receive. But, maybe you are angling for a lower letter?

VIRGO (08.24-09.23) There is a lot going on in your mind. Take some time to let your mind wander, relax and de-stress. Try not to agitate.

Don’t let nitpicky annoyances take up your mental bandwidth. Gain a new perspective and then take your act on the road. : : © 2010 Madam Lichtenstein, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Entertainment. info: Visit www.TheStarryEye.com for e-greetings, horoscopes and Pride jewelry.

My book “HerScopes: A Guide To Astrology For Lesbians” from Simon & Schuster is available at bookstores and major booksites.

we want your opinions and feedback

Whether it’s letters to the editor, web comments, general suggestions, comments or ideas, qnotes staff welcomes your input. See, without you we’d really have no reason to be here. So, we delight in hearing what our readers have to say. Be sure to send in your thoughts, praises, criticisms and more to editor@goqnotes.com for general feedback or letters@goqnotes.com for letters to the editor. Thank you!

MA You mean they can read?

Porn filmmakers and real-life couple Cole Maverick and Hunter, popular on Xtube and other amateur sites for their bareback, threeway adventures with young and cute twinks, have written a book, available now in e-book format and out Oct. 31 in print. “Maverick Men: The True Story Behind the Videos” puts the couple’s experiences into written form.

The two have published a risqué video trailer for the book. Unfortunately, we can’t go into details here — it’s all very not safe for work, or print for that matter. You can, however, look them up on your own (maverickman22 is their

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY username on Xtube). Just don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Having fun now?

Nineteen-year-old Brit lad Kelz Sutherland managed to pocket a cool $135,000 from 10 older, male victims after chatting with them on phone sex lines, getting them to talk about their fantasies of sex with teens and blackmailing them by threatening to report them to police. Now, a court has sentenced the young man to 45 months in prison. We wonder, how many older men will he be able to victimize there, or have the tables finally turned?

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Raleigh is coming out!

Oct. 16 • Raleigh The LGBT Center of Raleigh presents its annual festival, Raleigh is Coming Out!, with special guests, DC Cowboys. Other events include an after party and a fundraising dinner where WRALTV Channel 5 anchor Pam Saulsby will serve as host. raleighiscomingout.com.

For more information and to register, visit raleighiscomingout.com.

Pride Weekend Oct. 2 • Asheville Blue Ridge Pride The re-birthed Blue Ridge Pride hosts its second annual festival. blueridgepride.com.

Oct. 2 • Charlotte Pride Charlotte festival The Lesbian & Gay Community Center of Charlotte presents Pride Charlotte at the N.C. Music Factory. pridecharlotte.com.

Oct. 2 • Charlotte BRIEF! Back for a second year, two dozen of the area’s hottest and buffest guys take to the runway in the BRIEF! A Fete for Fashion underwear show benefitting the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.

Extravaganza Depot, 1610 N. Tryon St. 7 p.m. briefcharlotte.org.

Oct. 2 • Charlotte Twirl with Pride Party promoters Just Twirl kick up some fun with a special Pride party: Twirl with Pride, “Pope & Pepper Style.” Two special guests include DJ Mike Pope from Atlanta and dance diva Pepper MaShay.

Closet, 1202 Commonwealth Ave. 10 p.m.-2:30 a.m. For more information and to purchase tickets visit justtwirl.com.

Oct. 5 • Durham Triangle Gay Men’s Chorus Auditions TGMC invites all male singers 18 and over to join us for our Holiday concert season and beyond. No prepared selection needed. Two dates: Oct. 5 and Oct. 12. Durham Arts Council, 120 Morris St. 6:45-9:15 p.m. Contact membership@tgmchorus.org for more information.

Oct. 5 • Raleigh Financial/Estate Planning Arlene Tharrington and Daire Roebuck of MassMutual Financial Group and Roebuck Law, PLLC present two seminars on financial and estate planning for LGBT couples and families. Seating is limited. Oct. 5, 6:45-8 p.m.

Nov. 7, 2:45-4 p.m. RSVP to lgbtfinancialestate planning.eventbrite.com. 3700 National Dr. Oct. 8-10 • Maggie Valley LGBT Christian retreat A spiritual retreat, “The Cross & The Rainbow,” for LGBT Christians will be held at Living Waters Reflection Center. $95 registration includes cost of weekend stay, includes semi-private room, six meals and retreat sessions. For more information, email devinsleigh@aol.com.

Oct. 9 • Winston-Salem Film: ‘You Should Meet My Son’ OUT at the Movies, the Triad’s GLBT Film Series screening of the 2010 comedy, “You Should Meet My Son!” Visit OUTatheMoviesWinston.org to for more info and to see the trailer. UNCSA ACE Theatre, 1533 S. Main St. 7 p.m.

Oct. 10 • Cary Sound of Music Sing-Along A special screening of the of the classic Julie Andrews film, “The Sound of Music,” where the audience is encouraged to sing along

we want your who/what/where

and dress in costumes depicting favorite film characters or song lyrics. Proceeds benefit the Triangle Gay Men’s Chorus. Galaxy Cinema, 770 Cary Towne Blvd. 6-10 p.m.

Tickets are $20 at mygalaxycinema.com.

Oct. 12 • Winston-Salem Film: ‘Is it Just Me?’ OUT at the Movies, the Triad’s GLBT Film Series, screening of the 2010 romantic comedy, “Is It Just Me?” To see the trailer and for more information, visit OUTattheMoviesWinston.org. a/perture cinema, 311 W. 4th St. 8 p.m.

Oct. 16 • Hickory Catawba Valley Pride The very first Catawba Valley Pride hits the sleepy town of Hickory. catawbavalleypride.org.

Oct. 16 • Winston-Salem Red Ribbon Ramble AIDS Care Service of Winston-Salem presents Red Ribbon Ramble ‘Round Downtown, a fundraiser, the event is a new and different twist on the old-fashioned charity walkathon. For more information or to register, visit aidscareservice.org.

Oct. 17 • Raleigh Wine tasting The LGBT Center of Raleigh will hold a

Q

events qnotes goqnotes.com/qguide/events

arts.tasting entertainment. news. views. private wine to benefit OutRaleigh, a spring festival of the Center. Café Caturra, 432 Woodburn Rd. 3 p.m.-5 p.m. Visit lgbtcenterofraleigh.com for more information and to register.

Oct. 23 • Charlotte Please Stand By Charlotte Pride Band presents “Please Stand By,” a collection of fun and memorable music from the television medium. Unitarian Universalist Church of Charlotte, 234 Sharon Amity Rd. 8 p.m. $10. charlotteprideband.org.

Oct. 30 • Charlotte Nodaween The NoDa Neighborhood Association presents the NoDa Halloween Festival including the Freaky 5k Twilight Race, Pimp My Pumpkin Fine Art Auction and “Rocky Horror Picture Show” Viewing Party. 5 p.m.- 2 a.m.

Get more information and event details at nodaween.com.

Nov. 12 • Charlotte Glee BINGO RAIN and Shelita Hamm present their farewell Gay Bingo in the Queen City. Grady Cole Center, 310 N. Kings Dr. 6:30 p.m. gaybingocharlotte.org.

Nov. 13 • Greensboro ENC Conference and Gala Mark your calendars now for the fourth annual Equality North Carolina Conference and Gala, hosted again this year at the University of North Carolina-Greensboro. For more details as they become available or to register or sponsor, visit equalitync.org/conference.

Submitting an event for inclusion in our calendar has never been easier: visit goqnotes.com/qguide/events/submit

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