QNotes, Oct. 10-23, 2014 by QnotesCarolinas

Oct. 10-23 . 2014

qnotes

Oct. 10-23 . 2014

inside

16 The Charlotte Royals are game on with the start of the fall season. Photo Credit: Alex Aguilar

qnotes news & features arts. entertainment. news. views. 6 8 10 11 11

News Notes: Regional Briefs Law center shuttered News Notes: U.S./World Briefs Marriage appeals denied MeckPAC endorsements

a&e / life&style 13 13 15 15 16 18 19

When our love was illegal Maupin to be profiled Jane’s World Tell Trinity Playing the Field Q Events Calendar Our People: Crystal Richardson

opinions & views

4 Editor’s Note 5 Elevation on wrong side of history 5 Asking for respect is not ‘aggression’

Oct. 10-23 . 2014

qnotes

qnotes connect Oct. 10-23, 2014 Vol 27 No 12

arts. entertainment. news. views. goqnotes.com twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue

Paige Braddock, Matt Comer, Jon Hoppel, Steve Knight, Lainey Millen, Scout Rosen, Trinity

front page

Graphic Design by Matt Comer & Lainey Millen Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBT and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBT life and social justice issues. Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Editor: Matt Comer, x202 editor@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen, x205 production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper. Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2014 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

charlotteobserver.com/1166/ a local news partner of The Charlotte Observer

upcoming issues: 10.24.14: Veterans Day/Election Preview Advertising Space Deadline: Oct. 15 11.07.14: Holiday Gift Guide & Decorating Advertising Space Deadline: Oct. 29

qnotes

Oct. 10-23 . 2014

editor’s note by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

Communication could have saved law center At the end of September, Charlotte’s LGBT community received sad news — the closure of the landmark LGBTQ Law Center, a program of the Freedom Center for Social Justice. We originally reported the story online and it’s printed here on page 8 of this issue. The news comes on the heels of nearly a year of scrutiny for another local organization, the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte. And, it follows years worth of reports on other organizations facing challenges of their own. The closure comes following the revocation of the Freedom Center’s federal tax-exempt status, though leaders with the Freedom Center say funding challenges were the main cause of the stumble. There’s no reason, at least publicly presented, to believe Freedom Center board members and its executive director, Bishop Tonyia Rawls, weren’t operating with the best intentions of their organization and community in mind. So, in this way, the group’s current situation may differ significantly from the discord and dysfunction that marked the financial mismanagement and embarrassing closure of Metrolina AIDS Project or the sheer dishonesty and subterfuge that characterized Time Out Youth’s anti-gay, former executive director and its then board’s response. But, the Freedom Center’s current trouble has experienced failure in key areas common to every other struggling organization we’ve reported on — a lack of transparency, accountability and communication. Rawls and her board say the Freedom Center failed to secure three grant awards for which it had applied this year, leaving the organization in a “desperately tight situation” beginning in May. The group said in the same statement that it raised $17,000 in non-grant funds from friends and donors. Whether though an innocently optimistic hope that things would get better or a more insidious face-saving pride, these budgeting shortfalls and fundraising challenges were never publicly disclosed to the commu-

nity — full of people and organizations who might have stepped up to the plate and seen the organization through its financial dry spell. The Freedom Center’s law staff say they weren’t aware of the scope of the challenge, either. Attorney Sarah Demarest says they were “blindsided” when they were told the law center would have to shut down. Left hanging in the balance were clients — some booked weeks in advance, Demarest cites — utilizing the free or deeply-discounted legal services they couldn’t have found elsewhere. And, though that was exactly the mission and purpose of the law center, Freedom Center board members and Rawls seemed almost flippant when they said in their statement that “our desire to carry a program like this was not sustainable, particularly since more than 85% of our services were offered free of charge.” Several actions might have saved the law center — among them, a series of public fundraising appeals outlining the Freedom Center’s needs, for example, or a story pitch to this newspaper asking us to highlight to the community the fundraising challenges in operating such a desperately needed and much-sought legal resource for our community. Neither of those occurred. The message imparted to the Freedom Center today is the same message other qnotes staffers, editors and I have echoed for years: This community is here to help you. This community is rooting for your success. This community wants to see good people, good organizations and good causes lifted up so that they might thrive and make change for our people. But, this community can’t help you if it doesn’t know what your problems are and if you fail to communicate those problems openly and transparently. Here’s to hoping this message, one I’d rather not have to write about again, will be heeded by others — for the good of their own leaders and staff, their stakeholders and clients and, more importantly, our community as a whole. : :

goqnotes.com/to/views

views

guest commentary by Steve Knight :: guest contributor

Elevation, other anti-gay churches on wrong side of history [Ed. Note — A shorter version of this commentary was originally published online in response to our Sept. 26 guest commentary by Stephen Lovegrove, “The problem of privilege at Elevation Church.” Read Lovegrove’s original commentary online at goqnotes.com/31319/.] As a Christian pastor who grew up evangelical, I know the theology about homosexuality I was raised with and I know all the things I’ve learned about theology, human sexuality, etc., since then. I have become deeply convicted that the Church has historically gotten it very wrong theologically on human sexuality — taking a small handful of verses and creating and enforcing a heteronormative theology and Church culture for 2,000+ years.  Homosexuality is not a sin, anymore than having blue eyes is a sin. Christianity has taken a few verses out of the entire Bible and constructed a horribly wrong theology of human sexuality that has been disproven. It’s a failed project! It’s time to jettison that way of thinking. In my understanding of the trajectory of the whole Bible, we’re not going back to the Garden of Eden, we’re going forward to the Kingdom of God, where there is no marriage (Matthew 22:30) and no gender

(Galatians 3:28), so therefore no sexual orientation. In Christ, there is a new covenant of grace and love. We need to stop calling things impure what God has declared pure (Acts 10:15).  Thankfully there are Christian denominations and a growing number of evangelical churches that have seen the error of the old theology and have become “open and affirming” of all LGBTQ people. I liken it to Galileo going before the Pope to argue that the Earth was not the center of the universe. Remember that, for centuries, the Church had argued based on Scripture that the Earth was the center of the universe, but Galileo believed that the Sun was in fact the center of our universe. Galileo, at the time, was declared a heretic and excommunicated by the Church. Only centuries later did the Catholic Church apologize and admit it was wrong.  Christian churches that continue to hold onto a discriminatory theology against LGBTQ people are on the wrong side of history today. They want gay people to “convert” their sexual orientation (which has been proven to be a failed project, see Exodus International’s recent downfall) or remain celibate for the rest of their lives (as Steven Furtick’s sermon seems to sug-

gest). Neither of these are legitimate options or even necessary.  New groups like The Reformation Project, Evangelicals for Marriage Equality, Canyonwalker Connections, etc., have formed and are growing to present an alternative theology and practice, even (and especially) for the evangelical church. Thank God it’s finally happening! There are churches where you can live out your faith without being treated like a second-class citizen. There are plenty of those churches in Charlotte. Search on gaychurch. org and you will find them. Please don’t stay in a toxic church environment like Elevation, where you are “less than.” That’s not the love of God. That’s not the Gospel Jesus preached. Stop supporting systems of oppression.  Thank you, Stephen Lovegrove, for your courage to walk away and call Elevation to a higher standard. : : — Steve Knight (knightopia.com) is co-lead minister of Open Hearts Gathering, an open and affirming “dinner church” in Gastonia affiliated with the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) denomination. He does marketing for Chalice Press, and he is also co-founder and co-director of Transform, a national network of progressive missional churches and leaders.

guest commentary by Scout Rosen :: guest contributor

Asking for respect is not ‘aggression’ I was asked recently why I’m so “aggressive” (about queer/trans shit), and I’m asked about that a lot. I thought it was time for me to address the question more publicly and give an in-depth answer. People ask me why I’m “so aggressive” as if there’s a socially acceptable way to ask for my identity and pronouns to be respected or address microaggressions. No matter how polite I am, somebody will always feel like I’m being aggressive when I assert my identity. Trans and queer identities are markedly subversive/disruptive, we break down patriarchal concepts simply by existing. Existing, for us, is an act of aggression towards cisheteropatriarchy. Which is why in order to not seem “aggressive,” we, as queer and trans people, have to try so hard and sacrifice so much. We are forced to constantly and very publicly disarm ourselves to the satisfaction of those who are invested in cisheteropatriarchy — by accepting misgendering, by making our gender expression more palatable to those around us and by being sure to separate ourselves from and denounce “those” bisexuals, queers, trans people and lesbians, who are too loud, too fat and hairy and promiscuous, who demand too much, who refuse to participate in things that harm themselves. There is no socially acceptable way for trans people to ask for their pronouns, their name and their gender identity to be respected. There is no way to ask for your pronouns to be respected that is both “polite” and effective in getting people to actually use your pronouns. So, how about instead of asking me why I’m so aggressive, ask yourself why I have to be. And, also realize that I have a lot of conversations about this shit and I participate in a lot of educational moments. Honestly, I tend to get shit handled. Sometimes I do make the choice to make myself and what I’m saying more palatable. I’m constantly in situations where in order to educate and make change more effectively, I do compromise my identity. But, that is my choice to make. That’s every individual activist’s choice to make for theirself and I am the only one in a position to decide for myself when it is appropriate to do that as an activist and to decide what I can handle. So, I’m gonna need people, especially people who honestly don’t know shit about effective activism or organizing, to stop telling me how to act as a trans/ queer person. : : — Scout Rosen is a student and nonbinary trans queer activist from Charlotte. Scout is the current president of their school’s LGBTQ social and support group, CPCC Spectrum. They are currently a school outreach intern at Time Out Youth, where they are also a youth board member.

Terms you should know Scout’s commentary includes terms, phrases and concepts that are important to understand when working in social justice issues, particularly in among LGBT people and other sexual and gender minorities. Here’s a short list of some of those and other related terms and their definitions. If some of the terms are new to you, these short definitions can be a quick jumpstart to learning and understanding more. Don’t let this list be your exhaustive guide, though! The internet has the world and all its knowledge available at your fingertips! cisgender — the companion to transgender, denoting a person whose gender identity is consistent with the gender they were assigned at birth. gender binary — a social structure which requires gender to exist at two opposite and fixed poles such as male and female, masculine and feminine. see: genderqueer genderqueer — a person who identifies as neither male nor female or something in between; someone who “queers” gender by eschewing traditional, binary notions of gender identifications or roles entirely. also: non-binary. heterosexist — a social, legal and/or cultural system of attitudes, prejudices and discrimination which favors of heterosexuality over non-heterosexual orientations and relationships. heteropatriarchy — a system that privileges heterosexual men over women and men of sexual minorities; similarly, cisheteropatriarchy privileges cisgender heterosexual men. microaggression — common, everyday verbal or nonverbal insults or slights which target persons based solely on their membership in a marginalized groups; can be intentional, unintentional or environmental; example: a person with disabilities being forced to wait for an accessible restroom stall being used by an able-bodied person because they thought the stall was “more roomy.” misgendering — intentionally or unintentionally using the incorrect pronouns with which a person self-identifies; example: using “he” and “him” to refer to a transgender woman who uses the pronouns “she” and “her.” privilege — a special right or advantage a group of people receives or experiences as a consequence of systems of social or legal discrimination; example: a resume with a traditionally western European name is more likely to result in an interview or job offer than those with non-western European names.

Oct. 10-23 . 2014

qnotes

news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen & Matt Comer

Youth conference to feature Mandy Carter CHARLOTTE — The Carolina Conference on Queen Youth, scheduled for Oct. 17, 8 a.m.-5 p.m., at the Barnhart Student Union at the University of North Carolina – Charlotte, 9201 University City Blvd., has announced that its keynote speaker will be Mandy Carter. Carter is an activist and grassroots organizer with 46 years of experience in social, racial and LGBT justice. She co-founded two ground breaking organizations — Southerners on New Ground (SONG) and the National Black Justice Coalition (NBJC) — and serves as the national coordinator of the Bayard Rustin Commemoration Project of the NBJC. She was also one of five national co-chairs of Obama LGBT Pride and was nominated for the Nobel Mandy Carter Peace Prize as part of the 1,000 Women for the Nobel Peace Prize 2005 initiative. Time Out Youth Center is the organizer for the event. The one-day conference is open to the public with conference sessions targeting counselors, social workers, educators, parents, activists and students. Continuing education credit is available for social workers through UNC-Charlotte and educators through CharlotteMecklenburg Schools. “After a successful inaugural conference in 2013, we are excited to again host this event which will highlight local and national organizations who work with LGBTQ youth,” said Rodney Tucker, executive director of Time Out Youth Center in a release. “Organizations like GSA Network, Campus Pride, GLSEN and the Human Rights Campaign Foundation will allow participants to get a feel of LGBTQ work nationally and see the practical applications for our region.” Registration is free and includes breakfast, lunch and snacks. Parking is $10 per vehicle. Registration is available online. info: facebook.com/events/455473761258390/. trosendahl@timeoutyouth.org. 704-344-8335, ext. 603. timeoutyouth.org/conference/. — L.M.

Charlotte Band opens season

CHARLOTTE — The Charlotte Pride Band will hold its first concert of the 2014-15 season, “Ticklin’ Toes,” on Nov. 1, 5 p.m., at Heaton Hall at Myers Park Baptist Church, 1900 Queens Rd. The trip takes a trip back to the 1910s with music of the era including tunes from Gilbert & Sullivan and John Philip Sousa. Tickets are $13 and are available online or at the door. info: charlotteprideband.org. — L.M.

Frat fundraiser approaches

CHARLOTTE — Chi Psi Omega will hold its Fire Ball on Nov. 1, 7 p.m., at the Wadsworth Estate, 400 S. Summit Ave. This “masquerade affair” semi-formal benefit will give its proceeds to One Community Cares, the fraternity’s homeless awareness and support initiative. One Community Cares is a homeless awareness and support initiative launched in the fall of 2011 to provide hygiene packages with basic necessities to the homeless community. The fraternity has distributed over 2,000 care packages between Crisis Assistance Ministry Free Store, Women and Children’s Shelter and the Men’s Shelter in Charlotte over the course of three years. Entertainment will be provided by Monica Raye and Roni and Angela, along with music by DJ Twist. Heavy hors d’oeuvres will be served, catered by Nate Turner’s Your Custom Catering & Events, and an open bar will be available with

qnotes

Oct. 10-23 . 2014

beer and wine, along with the signature Chi Psi Omega drink, The Phoenix. A raffle and silent auction will also take place. Attendees are asked to bring new toiletry items, such as deodorant, all-in-one shampoo and conditioner and body lotion. Tickets are $45/early bird advance, $55/ advance and are available online. Xi Epsilon Tau Sorority, Inc., Regional AIDS Interfaith Network and Tee Norman of RedFrog are event sponsors. To learn more about becoming a logo sponsor, email chipsiomegafraternity@ yahoo.com. info: chipsiomega.ticketleap.com/withouta home/. — L.M.

Guild seeking sponsors for gala

CHARLOTTE — The Charlotte Business Guild has announced that is is looking for sponsors for its Pride in Business Gala & Awards event, “Taking Our Seat at the Table,” slated for Nov. 8, 6:30 p.m., at an Uptown Charlotte location. Sponsorships enable the guild to continue its work in the community to champion and support LGBT businesses and individuals, as well as make the gala a success. “The annual Gala is in its third year and has been a huge success in terms of introducing the community to local resources that assist with small business sustainability, networking and corporate responsibility in regards to equality and diversity,” President Chad Sevearance said via email. Sponsorship rates are: $3,000/presenting; $1,500/founder; $800/visionary; $400/entrepreneur; $200/innovator; and $100/supporter. Email

Sevearance at president@charlottebusinessguild.org to learn more and to receive a sponsorship packet detailing each giving opportunity. info: charlottebusinessguild.org. — L.M.

Seniors to take cruise

CHARLOTTE — Prime Timers Charlotte will be heading to the high seas from Jan. 17-24, 2015, when they board Royal Caribbean’s Vision of the Seas. And, they will be taking their friends and family with them, too! The seven-night western Caribbean cruise will leave Tampa, Fla., on Jan. 17. First stop on the itinerary is Cozumel, Mexico, followed by George Town, Grand Cayman, Puerto Costa Maya, Mexico, Belize City, Belize and back to Tampa on Jan. 24. Early-bird pricing begins at $345 for inside passage up to $734 for balcony accommodations. A deposit of $250 is required to book a spot. Port charges are $175 plus taxes and fees of $99.45 per person additional. Final payment is due by Oct. 28. All meals and entertainment on board are included, as well as special fun group activities provided by Courtland Travel and its escorts. Call 800-437-9685 to check for cruise space availability and to book reservations. info: primetimersww.com/charlotte. courtyardtvl.com. marc@courtyardtvl.com. bobette@courtyardtvl.com. — L.M.

Triad Methodists to host workshops

McLEANSVILLE — A statewide conference of Reconciling United Methodists (RUM) and Friends of North Carolina and Western North Carolina Conferences, “Ministry Without Fear: Growing in Biblical Obedience,” will be held on Oct. 25, 9:45 a.m., at Replacements, Ltd. 1089 Knox Rd. Keynote speakers are Bishop Melvin Talbert, a retired United Methodist Church leader, and Matt Berryman, executive director of Reconciling Methodists Network. The day will be filled with worship, workshops and lunch. Workshops will focus on: Transgender 101; Ministry with LGBTQ Youth, Parents, Guardians; Annual Conference and Jurisdictional Strategies; General Conference Strategies; Welcoming Resources; and The Reconciling Process. Afterward a fundraiser for the Southeastern Region of Reconciling Methodist Networks will be held. Cost is $15. info/registration: facebook.com/reconcilingNC. greenstreetchurch@gmail.com — L.M.

Foundation to name grantees

GREENSBORO — The Guilford Green Foundation will hold its 2014 granting and volunteer recognition ceremonies on Oct. 28, 6 p.m., at Greenhill Gallery, 200 N. Davie St. Be on hand to see who has netted grants and celebrate the service of the foundation’s volunteers. On Oct. 23, the foundation joins with FaithAction International House and Congregational United Church of Christ to host a Stranger to Neighbor Dialogue (S2N) program. It will start at 6 p.m. at the church at 200 W. Radiance Dr. The mission of S2N is to help build model interfaith, multicultural and immigrant-friendly communities that choose to embrace the gifts

of their new diversity and are committed to turning strangers into neighbors. The event is free, but participants must RSVP online at bit.ly/1sZZt2d. S2N is aimed at building bridges of understanding, trust and cooperative action between the diverse immigrant and LGBT communities in the Triad, organizers said. Meal and drinks are included. info: ggfnc.org. — L.M.

Adam sets celebration

WINSTON-SALEM — The Adam Foundation will hold its silver anniversary festival, “Lights! Camera! Action!,” on Nov. 8 in the Wake Forest Biotech Place in Innovation Quarter, 575 N. Patterson Ave. Sponsorships and tickets are available online through Nov. 1. After Nov. 1 tickets can be purchased at the door. Sponsors at the silver level ($250) and above receive tickets to both the Adam Festival and the festival pre-party on Nov. 7. Details for the party will be confirmed with sponsors. Individual tickets are $30/advance, $35/at the door, $15/students. Commemorative wine glasses can be purchased for $25. The foundation is also looking for pictures from past festivals, particularly from the 1990s and early 2000s. To share them, send a note to info@adamfoundation.org. info: adamfoundation.org. — L.M.

Spirituality conference announced

WINSTON-SALEM — On Nov. 15, Interfaith Voice will present an LGBT Spirituality Conference featuring The Rt. Rev. Gene Robinson, the first openly gay Bishop of the Episcopal Church and the Anglican Communion. Interfaith Voice is a coalition of open and affirming faith communities. The conference is co-sponsored by Wake Forest University School of Divinity and The Adam Foundation. For more information, email InterfaithVoiceInfo@gmail.com. info: facebook.com/InterfaithVoice/. — L.M.

ENC Gala opens registration

GREENSBORO — The 2014 8th Annual Equality NC Foundation Gala will be held on Nov. 22 at 6:30 p.m., at the Empire Room, 203 S Elm St. The theme this year is “Get Engaged, North Carolina.” Keynote speaker will be announced at a later date. No gala is ever complete without bestowing annual awards on worthy recipients. The Equality Champions include those for Legislative Leadership Award, Bob Page Equality Champion Awards, Jamie Kirk Hahn Ally Award and others and will be made available over the coming weeks. The event is one of Equality NC Foundation’s fundraisers and celebrates the work of the community and its supporters. An after-party will follow at the Print Works Bistro, 702 Green Valley Rd., with free transportation provided to hotel guests by official host accommodations’ provider, The Proximity Hotel, 704 Green Valley Rd. Registration is available online. Cost is: $1,500/reserved table for 10; $160/early-bird individual (increases to $190 on Nov. 8); $50/ active duty military personnel; and $0/pre-paid guests ($1,200 plus donors, sponsors, etc.). Verification of pre-paid attendees can be obtained by emailing Melissa Cartwright at melissa@equalitync.org.

goqnotes.com/to/views

Hotel rates are $159 per night for king loft room and $179 for a double queen room. More information on hotel bookings are available on the Equality NC Foundation website. info: equalityncfoundation.org. — L.M.

Triangle Awards to be presented

RALEIGH — The LGBT Center of Raleigh will hold its sixth annual LGBT Center Gala and Awards Banquet on Oct. 10, 7 p.m., at Cobblestone Hall, 215 Wolfe St. During the evening’s program, awards will be given to worthy volunteers, allies and organizations. This year’s recipients’ information was originally reported on qnotes’ website at goqnotes.com/31194/. A final list of recipients is now available. They are: Nicholas Buchser, Volunteer of the Year; Kickball Raleigh, Organization of the Year; Milan Pham, Community Impact Award; Pam Saulsby, LGBTQ Ally of the Year; and most recently announced Ian Palmquist, Distinguished Service Award. Palmquist was previously executive director of Equality North Carolina and now serves as director of leadership programs for the Equality Federation. info: lgbtcenterofraleigh.com. — L.M.

Durham center launches fundraising

DURHAM — The LGBT Center of Durham set its formal fundraising wheels in motion on Sept. 27 at NC Pride.

The campaign will be the catalyst to securing the monies necessary to open a brick-andmortar facility in the future. The Raleigh News & Observer reported that the LGBT Center of Raleigh provided “some startup funds…to get the ball rolling.” The Durham center needs “about $76,000 to afford a two-year lease on a new facility, which will likely be in Durham’s downtown district,” the paper added. Crowd sourcing fundraising has already ongoing on the center’s website, as well as other local efforts. Organizers have said that they are appreciative of any amount that is contributed. info: lgbtcenterofdurham.org. — L.M.

Campus Scene NCSU to show its pride

RALEIGH — Over the next month, North Carolina State University’s GLBT Center will host a number of events to showcase inclusion. On Oct. 23, students will sport their “I Heart Diversity” T-shirts on campus. Students, faculty and staff will gather at 11:30 a.m. at Wolf Plaza to show solidarity for the cause. Laverne Cox will bring her clever repartee on Nov. 11, 7 p.m., at the Talley Student Union Ballroom. At press time, the event, “Ain’t I a Woman: My Journey to Womanhood,” was sold out, but a waiting list has been created in the event that there were cancellations. Visit oied.ncsu.edu/glbt/laverne-cox-visits-nc-state/ to be added. On Nov. 21, 7 p.m., at the Talley Student Union, the center will host its annual NC State

news

Cabaret promoting campus diversity through entertainment. Various student organizations around the campus will participate. More information is available online for each event. info: oied.ncsu.edu/glbt/. — L.M.

Local college gets grant

CHARLOTTE — Johnson C. Smith University received a $4,000 grant from the Human Rights Campaign Foundation and Promised Land Film as incentive to use the documentary, “The New Black,” to foster LGBT inclusion, the Associated Press reported. This initiative is being undertaken to “advance LGBT inclusion on the campuses of historically black colleges and universities,” the AP added. It also shared that, “The group says the documentary looks at how race, faith, justice and identity came together in Maryland’s politically powerful black community in 2013 as the state was getting ready to vote on whether gay marriage should be legal.” The university will host a screening with a discussion afterward. info: jcsu.edu. — L.M.

Artist mounts LGBT exhibit, project

DAVIDSON — Liss LaFleur, an visual arts professor at Davidson College, has been showcasing her MUM storytelling project since it launched in September. It seeks to gather recollections LGBT and queer high school love stories through November on an international level. The experimental assemblage will materialize the

experiences as a series of homecoming mums. Mums were selected as a classic show of affection when celebrating homecoming in the South. LGBT and queer students often suppressed their own sexuality, identity or experiences out of fear, difference or necessity. MUM was created to provide a positive and loving image around LGBT and queer youthfulness. It is safe collection space and a way to share one’s story with the world. Throughout homecoming season, individuals are asked to share their experiences online of first loves, dating and crushes that signified their own sexual differences. Selected stories will be re-created as a series of white homecoming mums and soundscapes, LaFleur shared. Participants are asked to type their initials, select their gender identity and anonymously submit a written story. Eventually, all of the stories will be populated onto the MUM site. info: mumproject.com. — L.M.

Oct. 10-23 . 2014

qnotes

goqnotes.com/to/views

news

Law Center shuttered after parent org loses tax-exempt status Freedom Center for Social Justice cites funding shortfall, says they are seeking reinstatement from IRS by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com we were expected to file a 990 CHARLOTTE — A landmark postcard because we had an EIN. legal program assisting low-income The revocation was automatic. and under-served LGBT populaOur CPA immediately got all the tions has been shuttered, following paperwork filed for the expedited the Internal Revenue Service’s retroactive reinstatement and it is revocation of its parent organizabeing processed now.” tion’s tax-exempt status. Leaders of the group say the closure was Law Center staff prompted by funding shortfalls ‘devastated’ and they are in the process now of The LGBTQ Law Center was seeking reinstatement from the IRS. founded as a Freedom Center The LGBTQ Law Center was program in 2013. Two attorneys, one of the primary programs of Kelly Durden and Sarah Demarest, Charlotte’s Freedom Center for came on board to assist needy Social Justice, a non-profit orgaclients on a variety of issues, nization founded in 2010 by Bishop including family law, end-ofTonyia Rawls, who has worked as life documents, employment, the Freedom Center’s executive transition-related legal concerns, director. housing and more. But, last month, attorneys with Durden and Demarest were the law center were laid off and told of the center’s closure on Sept. told the program was ending. 17. Both were laid off and they The decision comes after the packed up their office and finally IRS revoked the Freedom Center’s closed down the last full week of tax-exempt status on May 15, 2014, September. according to records from the IRS. “Both Kelly and I are comThe revocation was publicly posted pletely devastated,” Demarest by the IRS on Aug. 11, 2014. Kelly Durden, left standing, and Sarah Demarest, right standing, discuss the work of the LGBTQ Law Center, with Freedom Center told qnotes. “We were blindsided As a non-profit organization, for Social Justice founder Bishop Tonyia Rawls seated left. and we had absolutely no idea we the Freedom Center was required would have to be shutting down to file an annual tax filing, known this week.” as a Form 990. The filing discloses also deepening the intersectional culture shift work we do with Demarest said they are concerned about their clients and the an organization’s revenue and expenses. Under a federal law organizations like SONG, Equality, The NAACP, Time Out Youth, community’s continued needs. passed in 2006, the IRS automatically revokes an organization’s Campus Pride, SAGE, The Powerhouse Project, and others within “We are really concerned about the impact this will have on tax-exempt status if it fails to file the appropriate Form 990 in the region.” the community, but we are committed to making sure our clients three consecutive years. August completed only one year as a fully-staffed organizaare taken care of in this transition,” she said. “We’ll absolutely Freedom Center board members and Rawls said the organition, they said, marked by the launch of two large programs. continue to take care of our clients and represented those we zation itself is not closing, in response to questions sent to them “While this has been a challenging period, it has helped us can represent and make sure everyone else well taken care of.” by qnotes. The group has also released a 2013 Form 990 and says refine our processes and grow deeper in our mission-driven The law center, Demarest said, wasn’t lacking for work, with they’ve begun the process of reinstatement. focus and work,” the group said. “The Board and staff are appointments booked for weeks in advance. The group’s leaders also say the law center’s closing was committed to growth and transparency. We will keep you “From the day we opened we were bombarded with people prompted less by the IRS revocation and more by funding shortupdated in reference to the 501(c)(3) reinstatement and any needing service,” she said. “We had just talked with Bishop falls. The Freedom Center failed to receive three grants for which other developments.” Rawls about needing more attorneys. We were slammed. We it had applied for this year. To fill the gap, the group raised $17,000 were turning people away.” in non-grant funds, but said that wasn’t enough to cover law Freedom Center: Last year, she said, the center handled nearly 300 individual center expenses of more than $10,000 each month. Unaware of filing requirements cases. The center also held several legal clinics and workshops “We had a budget shortfall and took time to look at where The automatic revocation of the Freedom Center’s taxacross the state — including a workshop trip to Raleigh last fall we could make the most sustained impact with limited reexempt status caught the group off guard when it learned of the which ended with Durden and Demarest hospitalized with minor sources,” the group said in a statement. “That combination of matter in August, they said. injuries after a run-in with a deer on the interstate. circumstances led to the decision to close the direct services “We became aware of the fact that our tax exempt status The law center didn’t back down from controversy, either. segment of the LGBTQ Law Center. The program costs in had been automatically revoked in late August 2014,” they Earlier this year, it took on a high-profile discrimination case after excess of $120,000/year, and while the work of our brilliant said. “We were told it was due to the fact that we had three a transgender Central Piedmont Community College student attorneys Kelly Durden and Sarah Demarest was incredible, consecutive years of non-filing. We assumed this was an claimed school personnel had harassed and intimidated her. our desire to carry a program like this was not sustainable, error because we did not get our 501(c)(3) acceptance letter Demarest has now taken on contract work and is looking for particularly since more than 85% of our services were offered until 2012.” full-time employment. free of charge.” The board had already discussed needing a 990 filing for 2013 “I am absolutely devastated. We poured our hearts and souls As the organization rebuilds, it says it’s entering into a new and one was prepared by accountant John Spann in February into this work,” she said. “I’m just so sad and broken-hearted for five-year strategic planning process and taking steps to cut and signed by Rawls in April. It wasn’t until the revocation they my clients and for the loss for this community.” : : costs. Rawls has already deferred her salary for three pay perilearned about filing requirements for previous years. — Originally published online on Sept. 22, 2014. ods this year and has said she will continue to do so until more “We hired a CPA in 2013 when we were awarded a grant funds are raised. The group’s office administrator and CPA have from the Arcus Foundation to also deferred their payments. hire staff and build capacity,” Other programs and activities will continue, and the group the group said. “Our CPA looked said it has confidence in Rawls as its leader. deeper into the matter and More on this story “We have great confidence in our Executive Director Bishop found that even though we did Read more on this story online at goqnotes.com/31480/ including information on the Freedom Center’s Tonyia Rawls. She has helped navigate this organization through not meet the income threshold various funding sources and similar challenges faced by other organizations. Also, stay tuned for its most difficult year,” they said. “We are continuing the work in 2010-2012 and had a fiscal qnotes’ Dec. 5, 2014, print edition, in which we’ll publish our annual non-profit survey and review. of the Transgender Faith and Action Network, the job readisponsor because we were not ness work we do with the trans* community and youth, and are yet a 501(c)(3) organization,

qnotes

Oct. 10-23 . 2014

qnotes

news news notes: u.s./world. goqnotes.com/to/news

Report: Poverty rates higher for LGBT Americans

A new report released Sept. 30 paints a stark picture of the added financial burdens that LGBT Americans face because of anti-LGBT laws at the national, state and local levels. The report finds that such laws contribute to significantly higher rates of poverty among LGBT Americans and create unfair financial penalties in the form of higher taxes, reduced wages and Social Security income, increased health care costs and more. The momentum of recent court rulings overturning marriage bans across the country has created the impression that LGBT Americans are on the cusp of achieving full equality from coast to coast. But the report, “Paying an Unfair Price: The Financial Penalty for Being LGBT in America,” documents how inequitable laws harm the economic well-being of LGBT people in three key ways: •B y enabling legal discrimination in jobs, housing, credit, and other areas •B y failing to recognize LGBT families, both in general and across a range of programs and laws designed to help American families •B y creating barriers to safe and affordable education for LGBT students and the children of LGBT parents “Paying an Unfair Price” was co-authored by the Movement Advancement Project (MAP) and the Center for American Progress, in partnership with Center for Community Change, Center for Popular Democracy, National Association of Social Workers and the National

Education Association. The report documents how LGBT people in the United States face clear financial penalties because of three primary failures in the law, including discrimination in housing, credit and health care, along with discrimination in employment. Failures to protect LGBT students also means LGBT people and their families often face a hostile, unsafe, and unwelcoming environment in local schools, as well as discrimination in accessing financial aid and other support. The financial penalty: LGBT youth are more likely to perform poorly in school and to face challenges pursuing postsecondary educational opportunities, as can youth with LGBT parents. This, in turn, can reduce their earnings over time, as well as their chances of having successful jobs and careers. “Unfair laws deliver a one-two punch. They both drive poverty within the LGBT community and then hit people when they are down,” said Ineke Mushovic, executive director of MAP. “While families with means might be able to withstand the costs of extra taxation or the unfair denial of Social Security benefits, for a family already struggling, these financial penalties can mean the difference between getting by and getting evicted,” said Mushovic. “AntiLGBT laws do the most harm to the most vulnerable in the LGBT community, including those who are barely making ends meet, families with children, older adults and people of color.” — LGBTQ Nation (lgbtqnation.com), a qnotes news partner.

QUICK HITS —————————————————————————————— The United Nations Human Rights Council on Sept. 26 approved a resolution condemning anti-LGBT discrimination. The U.S., the United Kingdom, Japan, Germany, Argentina, Chile, Cuba, South Korea and Vietnam were among the 25 nations voting in favor. Fourteen nations voted against the proposal, including Russia, Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates. more: bit.ly/1x3tb4B Six men alleged to be gay have been sentenced by Egyptian authorities to two years in jail for “committing debauchery,” a charge commonly used against gays in that nation. more: bit.ly/1x3tmNi A conservative Muslim province in Indonesia has passed a law punishing anal sex between men with a public caning of 100

qnotes

Oct. 10-23 . 2014

lashes. Same-sex female behavior is also punishable under the law. An earlier version included death by public stoning for adultery, but that provision was removed before passage. more: bit.ly/1vB52Ck The U.S. Supreme Court took no action on several appeals cases on same-sex marriage following a conference of justices at the end of September. The justices will meet again to discuss cases on Oct. 10. more: bit.ly/1pIUz1S Facebook has apologized for enforcing a “real names” policy some said discriminated against drag performers and the transgender community. more: bit.ly/1rH76qJ

goqnotes.com/to/news

news

Developing Story:

Supreme Court paves way for N.C. marriages Find the latest updates online at goqnotes.com by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com The U.S. Supreme Court declined on Oct. 6 to take up several appellate cases on the question of same-sex marriage. The decision opened legal same-sex marriages in five states, including in Virginia, where marriages began at 1 p.m. that day. The breaking news came as qnotes was heading to press with this Oct. 10 print edition. “What a momentous and joyous day for thousands of Virginians,” Virginia Attorney General Mark Herring told the Richmond TimesDispatch. Advocates challenging North Carolina’s anti-LGBT amendment said the Supreme Court’s actions will also move North Carolina forward. “We also think this paves the way for marriage equality in the entire Fourth Circuit — North Carolina, South Carolina and West Virginia,” Aaron Sarver, a spokesperson for the Asheville, N.C.-based Campaign for Southern Equality, told qnotes. Sarver’s group is among several suing to overturn North Carolina’s antiLGBT constitutional amendment, commonly called “Amendment One.”

At press time, the ACLU of North Carolina and other attorneys were expected to file motions for immediate rulings in district cases pending in the state. Speaking with WSOC-TV reporter Dave Faherty, North Carolina Gov. Pat McCrory said it is only a “matter of time” before North Carolina’s marriage laws will open up to same-sex couples. McCrory also said he doesn’t support gay marriage but, according to Faherty, “I support our Constitution and I am sworn to uphold the laws…and I’ll do just that.” The other states immediately affected by the Oct. 6 Supreme Court denial are Indiana, Oklahoma, Utah and Wisconsin. Along with the Carolinas, four other states — Colorado, Kansas, West Virginia and Wyoming — should soon rule on marriage equality. They’ll be bound by the affirmative decisions of their appellate courts, bringing legal same-sex marriage to 30 states and the District of Columbia. : : more: Find the latest updates online at goqnotes.com

Scott Lindsley, right, with partner Joey Hewell, were denied marriage licenses by Mecklenburg County Register of Deeds J. David Granberry at a protest event in October 2013.

ELECTION 2014

Local LGBT-friendly candidates endorsed The Mecklenburg LGBT Political Action Committee (MeckPAC) announced on Oct. 1 its endorsements for candidates seeking positions on the County Commission and as Clerk of Superior Court. MeckPAC made the announcements at a candidates reception, where 25 candidates for various positions were present to speak to supporters and voters. The group’s fall 2014 endorsements are below: Commission At-Large: Pat Cotham (D), Trevor Fuller (D), Ella Scarborough (D) Commission District 1: Leonard Richardson (D) Commission District 2: Vilma Leake (D) Commission District 3: George Dunlap (D) Commission District 5: Art Cardenas (D) Clerk of Superior Court: Elisa Chinn Gary (D) MeckPAC received no response from County Commissioner Dumont Clark (D-Dist. 4), but listed him as “receptive.” The group says Clark “expresses some level of support for LGBT equality.” The group issued one warning, strongly discouraging voters from supporting County Commissioner Bill James (R-Dist. 6). : : — Matt Comer

Oct. 10-23 . 2014

qnotes

Meet the Staff of Rosedale ID Making a Difference in Healthcare!

Tony is from Fayetteville, North Carolina, and received his Bachelor of Science in Biology from North Carolina Central University. Currently, he is pursuing a Master of Science in Public Health from the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. His research interests include, but are not limited to, sexual health and health policy. As a new addition to the Rosedale staff, Tony hopes to translate and apply his analytical skills into a professional working environment. What is HIV/AIDS? Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) is characterized as a virus that gradually destroys immune function. Once the body is incapable of fighting off infections the condition progresses to Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome (AIDS).

We are excited to bring you the most up to date information and share our experiences with you through our “Meet the Staff” columns in QNotes in addition to our already popular “Ask Dr.C” column. Featured Team Member: Tony McLaurin (Intern) (pictured above: (left to right) Rosedale RN Steven Haynes and Tony McLaurin staffing the booth at a recent Charlotte Pride)

qnotes

Oct. 10-23 . 2014

Why is HIV/AIDS important? Since its discovery, the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) and Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome (AIDS) has remained a persistent public health problem. Its emergence as one of the greatest threats to human health is attributable to over 25 million deaths since 1981. Recent statistics provided by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) show that an estimated 1.1 million individuals currently living in the United States are infected with HIV/AIDS, and nearly 16% of this population are unaware of their diagnosis. Each year approximately 56,000 Americans become infected with HIV/AIDS, and recent evidence suggests that more individuals are living with HIV than ever before. Although the

median age at death in the United States is 75 years, recent research has implied that 7-10.5 years of life are lost as a result of being infected with HIV/AIDS. How can I tell if I’m infected? The only true way to know if you are infected with HIV is to get tested. The CDC states that you cannot rely on symptoms to know whether you are infected with HIV, due to many individuals not exhibiting any symptoms for at least 10 years. HIV Testing at Rosedale ID The great thing about Rosedale is that we are a full-service HIV/Infectious Disease clinic. Not only do we pride ourselves ensuring medical care to the highest level, but we also offer free HIV testing at our medical practice and out in the community! Our goal is to teach people how to take charge of their healthcare starting with knowing their status. We offer Free HIV Testing every Tuesday at our medical practice. If you would like to receive free testing and are unable to stop by on a Tuesday, just give us a call at 704-948-8582 and we can schedule you a time to come and have a free test.

Don’t forget to visit our website at rosedaleid. com and friend us on Facebook for community and clinical updates. — Sponsored Content —

goqnotes.com/to/life

life

LGBT HISTORY MONTH

Twenty years ago our love was illegal New community archive includes sad history of legal oppression by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

s qnotes staff finished final preparations to send this Oct. 10 print edition to press, breaking news stunned LGBT equality advocates. The U.S. Supreme Court had declined to hear several marriage appeals, opening legal marriage in Virginia and four other states while paving the way for legal marriage here in North Carolina. We report more on that on page 11, with continuing updates on this fast-moving story online at goqnotes.com. Quite fittingly, though, we’d also planned to run a local LGBT history feature this issue. The week before the breaking marriage news, I’d taken a trip up to the new LGBTQ Community Archives in the Special Collections at the University of North Carolina-Charlotte’s J. Murray Atkins Library. I took a gander through materials in collections submitted by longtime community organizers Sue Henry and Darryl Logsdon and came across a surprising trove of news clippings and other documents from the early 1990s. They detailed the efforts community activists were taking to improve relations with local law enforcement. At the top of the agenda: the end of police stings and entrapment of gay men. For as much as marriage takes the center stage in This graphic appeared on the front page of the March 1987 issue of qnotes advocacy today, it’s easy to forget there was a time not above a list of tips and warnings for gay men to avoid arrest. so long ago — indeed, just a little over two decades ago — when even the basic act and expression of our love no crime but are too scared to pursue their case. We must stop toward our partners was considered a prosecutable felony. that,” King said in an article about the new task force. Activists in Charlotte had ramped up against police entrapThe arrests never stopped and King continued to find difficulment and stings in the late 1980s. Don King, qnotes’ first editor, ties in identifying those willing to file complaints, the risk of losing wrote several articles warning gay men about undercover cops family and employment too high. soliciting men for sex. First Tuesday, one of the first successful activist and politi“ENTICING — Vice Officers Waging War at Bookstores, cal groups in Charlotte, took on the issue in 1992 after several Parks,” reads a March 1987 headline. months of work from King and attorneys Anita Hodgkiss and The police were enticing gay men, not merely arresting those Lila Bellar. King and the attorneys had labored to get the topic “caught in the act.” Arrested men who’d done nothing more of entrapment before the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Community than respond positively to an undercover cop’s flirtations were Relations Committee’s Discrimination Subcommittee. They met slapped with charges of soliciting a “crime against nature.” several times with the committee, including meetings where Men were arrested for simply walking and talking with arrested men were able to share their stories. The committee, undercover cops in public parks or for asking an undercover apparently, seemed sympathetic. King, the attorneys and the cop to go back home with them. Some were arrested for simply arrested men had had their concerns heard, but nothing seemed talking about sex, but never really taking any action to initiate to stop the continuing arrests. it. Some were charged with assault for innocently touching an Then a breakthrough happened. On the morning of April undercover cop’s shoulder or arm and others were charged with 2, 1992, a man who had been arrested three days prior filed a indecent exposure when there had been none. And, after arrest false arrest report with the Community Relations Committee. — if it hadn’t already been reported by mainstream media — That afternoon, officials with the Charlotte Police Department men’s families or employers were called in an effort to embarrass finally agreed to dialogue, but it would take three more filed or intimidate the accused. complaints — two against Charlotte city officers and one against In September 1987, a full quarter of qnotes’ eight-page issue a Mecklenburg County Police officer — before officials finally that month was devoted to the topic of police entrapment. That’s agreed to meet publicly to hear concerns. when King formed a support and information task force for gay The meeting was scheduled for June 3, 1992. More than 80 men arrested at public parks and bookstores. community members attended. It did not go well. “I contend that the police are deliberately arresting not only Charlotte Police Major Piper Charles compared the entrappeople who break the law, but also people who have committed ment of gay men to police efforts to deter drug dealers.

“I’ve heard a couple of you make allusions to drug dealers and drug users,” a man said during the meeting, his name unreported by The Charlotte Observer. “Homosexuals are not drug dealers. I’m not a drug dealer. I’m not a criminal.” The man’s comments “brought 20 seconds of sustained applause and an apology from Charles,” The Observer reported. A second meeting was scheduled the next month. Like the first, this meeting didn’t go well, either. Mecklenburg County District Attorney Peter Gilchrist related the finer points of what exactly constituted legal and illegal same-sex love, stating, according to qnotes: “You can tell another man you love him; that’s not unlawful. You can hold hands with another man; that is not unlawful. To kiss another man; that is not unlawful.” The crowd of 60 or so community members weren’t having it. Both qnotes and The Charlotte Observer reported the crowd “hissed” at Gilchrist when he drew on biblical prohibitions to justify the crimes against nature laws and police entrapment efforts. “You are apparently engaging in something that is in violation of N.C. law for which there are biblical proscriptions,” Gilchrist said. Two days later, Gilchrist was apologizing. “I think I meant to say it is proscribed by most of the world religions,” he told The Observer. He added, oblivious to his own bigotry: “I hope no one thought I was making a religious condemnation of them. As a Christian, I think the Lord loves all of us.” It’d be years more before arrests and the purposeful targeting of gay men would end in Charlotte. The two meetings and pressure brought by activists, though, began to make change nearly immediately. The same month as the second meeting, Gilchrist dropped two charges against men arrested in local parks in the preceding months. But, not until 2003, a mere 11 years ago, would most anti-gay police targeting come to an end — stopped by the landmark Lawrence v. Texas Supreme Court ruling overturning invasive and discriminatory prohibitions against our acts of love. Even still, unfair police harassment and the legal control over our bodies continued. In June 2007, qnotes ran this headline: “N.C. sodomy law still destroying lives.” In the story, a report of an Episcopal priest arrested for a solicitation of a crime against nature after asking to go to an undercover officer’s home for sexual activities — something clearly and unequivocally not against the law. Still today, sadly, it’s occasionally possible to land on the “wrong side” of an unjust sex crimes law that destroyed the lives of generations of gay and bisexual men. North Carolina’s crimes against nature law is still on the books. With marriage moving forward — and our relationships ever more recognized in law and society — perhaps the embarrassing era of policing gay sex and love will slip quietly into the pages of history. : :

Armistead Maupin featured as LGBT history ‘icon’ Iconic gay writer and North Carolina native Armistead Maupin will be featured this month among 31 LGBT history icons. Maupin’s entry into the list of icons comes from Equality Forum’s annual October LGBT history month series. Maupin was born in Washington, D.C., in 1944, but grew up in Raleigh. He graduated from the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill in 1966. As a student, he wrote for The Daily Tar Heel and, after graduating, worked for Raleigh news station WRAL, where he served under the tutelage of former TV commentator and later U.S. Sen. Jesse Helms. He later overcame his youthful conservative streak, moving to San Francisco after taking a job with the Associated Press. In 1976, he began his classic “Tales of the City” series at the San Francisco Chronicle. Maupin’s LGBT history month icon profile will be unveiled on Oct. 24 at lgbthistorymonth.com, where readers can also learn more about each of the 31 other icons highlighted this month. Other North Carolina history icons profiled in the past include Durham activist Mandy Carter, Facebook co-founder Chris Hughes and painter Robert Rauschenberg. : :

Oct. 10-23 . 2014

qnotes

16/5:65 3(> 6--0*, 3HYY` > 1VOUZVU (;;695,@

7OVUL! -H_!

7 6 )V_ /PJRVY` 5*

31VOUZVU'31VOUZVU3H^6MÃ&#x201E; JL JVT

qnotes

Oct. 10-23 . 2014

goqnotes.com/to/arts

tell trinity by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

App dating: proceed with caution Dear Trinity, I just started going on Scuff/Grindr and Growlr to meet people. Got any pearls of wisdom for beginners? Internet Baby, Raleigh, NC

people, maybe even find a soulmate. However, honey, remember meeting someone (at a public place) is much less risky or dangerous than trusting typed words or Photoshopped photos. So read, proceed and type with caution!

Dear Internet Baby, Apps are great for checking the weather, connecting with friends and, well, selling yourself! These apps make being lonely or bored a thing of the past. But, it has also created many high school problems for senior citizens. Where else but cellphone apps can you make a date and never show up or say (text) something nasty to a complete stranger without ever seeing their face. Yes, you can meet great

Dearest Trinity, Sex life with my other half is just not what it was the first couple of years. It seems like he has taken a nosedive…away from me. I can’t tell if he’s cheating, bored or turning asexual. What makes sex in a relationship “peter out?” Wanting More Peter, Santa Rosa, CA Dearest Wanting More Peter, Sex in a relationship is like ice cream on a cone,

a&e

if you don’t pay attention to it, it will melt and turn to mush. However, if you lick it into shape and attend to its needs, it will keep its consistency. Similarly, you have to pay close attention to your sex life by keeping it in shape and alive. Otherwise, if you’re not continually inventing new sexy games, your sex life will eventually freeze up or melt away! Now start licking, sweetie! (My cartoon shows you how I’ve tackled this problem.) Hello Trinity, When is it a good time to meet the parents of someone you’re dating? Parent Trap, South Beach, FL Hello Parent Trap, Waiting a few months, just so you’re both clear on what you are presenting to the parents, is best. Why rush it. This way you also get a clearer idea of your date’s financial worth, I mean, get familiar with his or her background. Also, pumpkin, once you meet the parents and get passed their “interview,” your date will forever have to explain you, what you’re up to and what you’re not up to! Hey Trinity, On our second date, I asked, “Would you like to date exclusively?” but she said I was “moving to fast!” What’s too fast? Speedy Second Date, Savannah, GA Hey Speedy Second Date, The “second date” is a time to learn more about someone, to ask smarter and sneakier questions, to steal some kisses and to read: Trinity’s Snappy Second Date Scenarios For When You’re (MTF) Moving Too Fast 1. If you open a joint bank account or put his name on your home mortgage, you’re MTF. 2. If you call her parents, friends, coworkers and ex-lovers just to introduce yourself to them, you’re MTF!

3. If you’re telling him how to dress, shower, shave and use the toilet, then you’re MTF. 4. If you utter, “I need you!,” “Lets be monogamous!” or “Can we move in together!,” you’re really MTF! 5. I f while she’s at work you redecorate her home to fit your taste, you’re MTF. 6. If you ask him to convert religions, change carriers or try plastic surgery, you’re unbelievably MTF. 7. I f you start suggesting what he should eat, where he should live and whom he should associate with, well then you’re dangerously MTF. 8. If in her closet you start to keep some clothes, some photo albums and your diary, you’re stupidly MTF. 9. If you start planning a wedding, the children’s education and how to get rid of his mother, you’re totally MTF! 10. And, lastly, if you show up with a U-haul truck full of everything you own, then darling, you’re M (way) TF! info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

Oct. 10-23 . 2014

qnotes

SPORTS

Playing the Field Match-ups from across the Carolinas: Fierce competition sets the fall stage by Jon Hoppel :: qnotes contributor Welcome back to Playing the Field. We hope you are enjoying the cooler weather of fall and football season finally being back. Here are some thing you might have missed this past month and what to look forward to in October (when you are not watching the Panthers!).

Softball The Gay Softball World Series took place in Dallas in September, marking the 37th an-

niversary of one of the world’s largest annual LGBT sporting events. The tournament brings together 167 teams in five different divisions of play from all over the United States and Canada. This year’s tournament also coincided with Dallas Pride, so the city was buzzing all week long. In case you missed any of the action, here is how the Series shook out: A DIVISION (8 teams) Champions: Palm Springs Rounders 2.0 2nd Place: San Francisco Steel 3rd Place: Atlanta Elite B DIVISION (31 teams) Champions: Atlanta Show Stoppers 2nd Place: Twin Cities Frostbite 3rd Place: Dallas X-Plosion 4th Place: San Francisco Fury C DIVISION (55 teams) Champions: Las Vegas Grease Monkeys 2nd Place: Tampa Hammerheads 3rd Place: Boston X-Factors 4th Place: Dallas Wreckin’ Crew D DIVISION (63 teams) Champions: Los Angeles Swingers 2nd Place: Austin Pride 3rd Place: Atlanta Reign 4th Place: Houston Divers MASTERS DIVISION (10 teams) Champions: New York Cranky Yankees 2nd Place: LA Gang Grey 3rd Place: Seattle Rainiers 4th Place: Tampa Half-Century Sluggers Be sure to catch next year’s World Series when Columbus, OH takes on the hosting duties between Aug. 14-22 . info: gaysoftballworldseries.com Rugby The Charlotte Royals started their fall season in September with 2 games, one at the Charleston Blockade and one at home versus the Table Rock Rugby Club. Starting four new players on the field, the Royals needed to mesh early against these two formidable teams.

The Charlotte Royals battle for possession against Table Rock Photo Credit: Alex Aguilar

Against Charleston, Charlotte looked quicker and more aggressive early on, resulting in a 20 point lead at half. But the humid

see next page u

qnotes

Oct. 10-23 . 2014

goqnotes.com/to/life

A Charleston Blockade go for a steel against the Charlotte Royals. Photo Credit: Deanna Merrel

early, with Table Rock leading 5-0 with five minutes to go in the first half. They were able to tack on another try right before The Charlotte Royals hoist up a teammate to gain the game ball. intermission. But, in the Photo Credit: Alex Aguilar second half, Charlotte seemed to wear down temperatures took their toll and a little bit of again and after a couple of injuries, Table Rock complacency set in during the last 20 minutes started scoring at will. The final score was 40-0. of the second half and Charleston was able to The Royals next get a rematch with the put a few scores on the board late. Finally, the Charleston Blockade on their home turf on Oct. defense hunkered down and ended up winning 11. Head out to Tuskaseegee Park and cheer 33-15. them on! Table Rock then visited the Queen City for a info: charlotteroyals.org showdown. Both teams were undefeated and looking to stay that way. The contest was tight

life

contested bout. This time they ended up on the losing end of a 30-point deficit. The B-Dazzlers needed to rebound quick to end the season on a high note and they did just that. They pulled out a five-point win versus the Greensboro Counterstrike. The All-Stars finished the season 8-4, while the B-Dazzlers finished 2-6. Congratulations to both teams for a successful season. Check out their website for details on their upcoming season and practice scrimmage schedules. : : info: charlotterollergirls.com.

Roller Derby It has been an exciting September for the ladies on the Charlotte Roller Girls All-Stars and B-Dazzlers roller derby teams. They opened in September with a tight 30-point win against Atlanta Apocalypstix for the All-Stars, but with also a drubbing for the B-Dazzlers against the Greenville Derby Dames in almost a 200-point route. Later in the month, the All-Stars took on the Greensboro All-Stars in another closely Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all about the points when the Charlotte B-Dazzlers strive for dominance during a recent bout. Photo Credit: Frayed Edge Concepts

Oct. 10-23 . 2014

qnotes

C A L E N DA R OCTOBER 2014

To see more upcoming events, visit goqnotes.com/calendar/ Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/

Continues through Oct. 12 The Vagina Monologues UpStage in NoDa 3306 N. Davidson St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m. After a wildly successful sold out run in April 2013 when UpStage was still called WineUp, Three Bone Theatre is remounting the Obie Award Winning play “The Vagina Monologues” by Eve Ensler. The poignant testimonies told by the brilliant cast will find the audience belly-laughing one moment and silently captivated the next. A few new faces will be joining some returning members from the 2013 cast, but the humor and constant breaking of taboos will remain the same. $16/advance. $18/door. threebonetheatre.com

SEP OCT

Clipping and Saving SEP OCT Total Wine & More 5341 Ballantyne Commons Pkwy., Charlotte 4:30 p.m. Chi Psi Omega Fraternity extends an invitation to an afternoon of extreme couponing. Coupon experts will teach you the basics of couponing and how to live richly on a budget. Complimentary light appetizers provided by EarthFare and wine tasting provided by Total Wine. The event is free, but seating is limited and participants must register via email at chipsiomegafraternity@yahoo.com. The fraternity will also be collecting donated toiletry items (deodorant, shampoo/conditioner and body lotion) for those in need.

Stonewall Kickball Drag SEP OCT Show Petra’s 1919 Commonwealth Ave., Charlotte 7 p.m. Stonewall Kickball Charlotte presents a drag show benefiting Time Out Youth. Players on the kickball team will dress it up and compete to raise funds for the LGBT youth center. Roxy C. Moorecox emcees the event. $5 cover. facebook.com/stonewallkickballcharlotte

SEP OCT

LGBT Democrats Mecklenburg County Democratic Party 5500 Executive Center Dr., Suite 210, Charlotte 6:30-8 p.m.

Carolina Conference on Queer Youth UNC-Charlotte Student Union 8 a.m.-5 p.m.

Autumn Soiree SEP OCT Looking Glass Artists Center 405 N. Lee St., Salisbury 6-10 p.m. Salisbury-Rowan PFLAG’s annual fundraiser supporting its scholarship foundation, now celebrating seven years and 22 awards for $1,000 scholarships to Rowan County LGBT students. Event features catered dinner, drinks and entertainment., $25 in advance and $30 at the door. Advance tickets are available at Critters Cards and Gifts, Zinc, Inc. and the Green Goat Gallery. facebook.com/salisburyrowan.pflag The second annual Carolina Conference –––––––––––––––––––– on Queer Youth brings together middle, NAACP Banquet high school and college students, Hilton Charlotte University Place counselors, activists, teachers and other 8629 J.M. Keynes Dr., Charlotte practitioners who work with LGBT youth. 6:30 p.m. Workshops on a variety of topics will The Charlotte-Mecklenburg NAACP be presented throughout the day, along hosts its annual Freedom Fund Awards with a keynote address by social justice Banquet. WSOC-TV’s Erica Bryant activist Mandy Carter. Information and emcees, with North Carolina NAACP free registration available online or call President Rev. Dr. William J. Barber II 704-344-8335. speaking. $75. timeoutyouth.org/conference bit.ly/1nSQnm6

qnotes

SEP OCT

18 18

Continues through Oct. 19 Pride Winston-Salem Downtown Winston-Salem

Pride Winston-Salem returns to the Twin City, with multiple events over the weekend, including a festival and food truck rodeo, entertainment, afterparty, drag brunch and parade. pridews.org

HRC Fright Night Carowinds Amusement Park, 14523 Carowinds Blvd., Charlotte 5:45 p.m.-Midnight The Human Rights Campaign hosts a special night at Scarowinds! Enjoy early entry into the park and get in line to a favorite attraction before the general public. Tickets include one free Speed Pass that lets you skip to the front of the line of one of your favorite Haunts. Join HRC at the new Harmony Hall facility where a section of the patio will be HRC’s throughout the evening. A full bar will be available (cash and credit cards accepted) and food will be available for purchase. Ticket includes an annual HRC membership or renewal. $36/general. $10/for season pass holders with Scarowinds access. bit.ly/1r311Bg

SEP OCT

The LGBT Democrats of Mecklenburg County hold a general body meeting. On the business agenda is the election of open board positions and advisory board positions. The group will also discuss get-out-the-vote efforts for the upcoming November elections. facebook.com/LGBTDMC

Submit your event to our calendar!

SEP OCT

Oct. 10-23 . 2014

You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a three-for-one entry. All Charlotte-area events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes. com), the LGBT Center (lgbtcharlotte.org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com).

goqnotes.com/to/life

life

OUR PEOPLE:

more veggies and stay away from the bread.

Freedom Moral Summer organizer

If you could take a dream vacation, no matter the cost, to anywhere in the world, where would it be? Greece. I’m a big fan of water and I just think the scenery is beautiful there. I think it would be a good time.

Q&A with Crystal Richardson by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com Crystal Richardson, 30, is hard to forget. That’s especially so because she’s everywhere — community events, fundraisers, town hall meetings and more. It’s all part of her passion and job as Equality North Carolina’s Freedom Moral Summer organizer, a position created out of partnership with the NAACP and devoted to advocating for pro-equality issues. You might have seen Crystal around a lot, but we also wanted to give her the chance to introduce herself to a lot more folk. Take a gander at our casual Q&A below and get to know more about Crystal. Where are you originally from? I was born in Danville, Va., but moved to Charlotte when I was five, so I consider this home. You work for Equality NC now, but what kind of other work have you done?

I’ve done lots of things. I was a document review attorney. Prior to that I worked for a property management company. How did you get the interest to do advocacy work? I think it all started when I went to a Charlotte School of Law symposium about Amendment One and its impact in North Carolina. I was just so intrigued and that’s when I met Sarah Demarest and she introduced me to organizations like MeckPAC and the Human Rights Campaign. I started attending those meetings and got really involved. Also, I grew up always being in organizations where we do a lot of community services, so that foundation was in me already. I knew when I went to law school that I wanted to do something nontraditional with my law degree. I’ve always looked for ways to be in public policy or advocacy.

On to the fun questions…what’s your favorite song currently playing on your phone or radio? “Flawless,” by Beyonce. Are you a sports fan? I’m not a huge fan of sports, but I do like basketball — Miami Heat. What kind of exercise do you enjoy? I do P90X3. Things like Crossfit or bootcamp.

You’re a lawyer now, but was there another career you wanted as young person? I’ve known I wanted to be a lawyer since second grade. I had my mind made up. It was a goal of mine. And, my uncle tells me that when I was little, like in pre-K, I did a school play and I was an attorney in that play. My family always, I think, knew that being an attorney was in my blood.

What was your favorite food as a kid? I used to love sub sandwiches.

What’s the best gift if you’ve ever received. Miranda, my partner, gave me a ring. I wear it every day. I love it.

Still a favorite? Yeah, it’s still a favorite, but I look to stay healthy and do clean eating. I exercise and try to eat

Your favorite season of the year? Spring. It’s not too hot, not too cold. Also, I was born in the spring. : :

Oct. 10-23 . 2014

qnotes

Oct. 10-23 . 2014