QNotes, Oct. 24-Nov. 6, 2014

Oct. 24-Nov. 6 . 2014

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Oct. 24-Nov. 6 . 2014

inside

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qnotes special coverage

arts.

4 entertainment.

Love Wins Out news. views.

5 Pictorial Highlights 6 Wedded Couples 7 Marriage timeline 8 North Carolina’s first couples

news & features 10 11 11 14

News Notes: Regional Briefs Arrowood seeks return to court LGBT ally seeks House seat News Notes: U.S./World Briefs

Congratulations to all the happy couples

a&e / life&style 16 16 17 19 22

Jane’s World Tell Trinity Halloween events Dishing with Buff Faye Q Events Calendar

opinions & views 9 Editor’s Note 9 Spiritual Reflections 9 QPoll

Thank You to those without whom our special coverage would have not been possible Reader Supporters

Contributors

Reporter’s Circle ~ James Funderburk ~ Diane Hill Troy Sustainer ~ Chuck Noe ~ PFLAG Charlotte Fellow ~ Dale Siar Supporter ~ Elizabeth Dunn ~ Angie Lavendar ~ David Q. Cooke Friend ~ Leonard Tran

Cameron Joyce — for his hours of assistance in gathering interviews and photos and compiling a multimedia photo essay documenting couples who married in Mecklenburg County Grant Baldwin, Jennifer Hogan and Ryan Sumner — for their generous contributions of time and talent, offering their photography for use in our special coverage

Oct. 24-Nov. 6 . 2014

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Love wins out Charlotte’s first LGBT married couples celebrate

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

Kathy Stewart and Vicky Mangus are married outside the Mecklenburg County Register of Deeds office on the morning of Oct. 13 by Jessica Milicevic, a local journalist who is also a non-religious marriage officiant.

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he choral strains of Handel’s iconic “Hallelujah” and an organist’s rendition of Widor’s classic toccata wedding processional rounded out an historic day of marriage equality in the Queen City on Oct. 13, as hundreds gathered at a community-wide celebration to mark the first full day of legal same-sex marriage in the state.

Holy Trinity Lutheran Church hosted a packed house for the day’s evening celebration, attended by clergy from a variety of faith traditions and couples wedded on that day, some after decades of waiting for the legal opportunity.

“We knew the promises of love made between a woman and a woman, a man and a man, transgender persons and bisexual persons — we knew the day would come when these promises would not only be honored by God but also by the state of North Carolina and our fellow citizens,” said the Rev. Dr. Chris Ayers, pastor of Wedgewood Church and one of the clergy participating in the interfaith celebration of marriage equality.

Across North Carolina LGBT couples lined up at marriage license offices for their chance to receive legal recognition of their relationships.

In Charlotte, Mecklenburg County Register of Deeds J. David Granberry said a record had been set. By close of business, a total of 86 marriage licenses had been issued. The previous record in a single day was 63. At least 62 of the 86 licenses were issued to same-sex couples, of which 35 were married on Oct. 13.

For some couples, marriage a long time coming Couple Jannet Hince and Donna Travis, both in their 60s, were among the 35 married on Oct. 13. Together for 38 years, the couple had waited patiently for the day to arrive when their home state might finally and legally recognize their relationship, though they’d thought of going out of state for their marriage.

“We had been looking at going to Washington [to get married], but we really wanted to get married in North Carolina, so we’d just been dragging our feet hoping this would happen,” Hince said. “We wanted our marriage to be recognized and legal in North Carolina where we live.”

Unfortunate events over the weekend forced their hands.

“A friend of ours unexpectedly died Saturday night and it made us realize we don’t want to wait,” Hince said. “We’ve waited 38 years. It’s time.”

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Oct. 24-Nov. 6 . 2014

“We deserve it after all these years,” Travis said.

The sense of urgency on Oct. 13 was felt among younger couples, too.

Amanda Eaves Scott, originally from Columbia, S.C., and Christina Ann Corvin from Miami, both in their 20s, said they couldn’t wait any longer to wed.

“We were going to have a wedding in a year, but we wanted to legalize it just in case hatred comes into play — if they take it from us,” Scott said.

Scott and Corvin still plan on having a formal ceremony next year at NoDa’s McGill Rose Garden, where they will invite friends and family to join them in celebration. On Oct. 13, the couple’s friends and Scott’s mother acted as witnesses — Scott’s father was absent.

“It was really hard for me to come out,” Scott said. “My dad doesn’t talk to me hardly and I’m just so proud that my mom stands by me.”

A celebration and blessing The historic marriages on Oct. 13 in Charlotte came after dizzying days of legal maneuvers late during the week prior. After attempted efforts to block or stall legal same-gender marriages

by Republican state leaders, Western North Carolina U.S. District Court Judge Max Cogburn finally issued an order prohibiting state officials from enforcing an anti-LGBT constitutional amendment passed by voters in 2012.

Two attorneys, Luke Largess and Jacob Sussman, involved in the fight against the amendment, spoke briefly at the Oct. 13 evening’s marriage equality celebration, holding a placard with an abridged version of Judge Cogburn’s order reading, in part, “that North Carolina laws prohibiting same sex marriage, refusing to recognize same-sex marriages originating elsewhere, and/or threatening to penalize those who would solemnize such marriages, are unconstitutional.”

But, the couples scattered throughout the crowd and their accompanying friends and family truly stole the show — waving rainbow flags, erupting in applause and cheers and, even, taking time to pause for those who never got to see a day of legal equality for their relationships.

The Rev. Robin Tanner, pastor of Piedmont Unitarian Universalist Church, shared her joy as she led the congregation in a blessing of couples.

In her time as pastor at the Charlotte church, Tanner said she had been “called to officiate at 29 weddings — 29 beautiful and blessed weddings wondering when I could at last say these words for all couples: By the power vested in me by the state of North Carolina.”

Tanner was also present during several weddings at the Mecklenburg County Register of Deeds office on Oct. 13 and officiated at one.

“With a heart still tender with the blessing of that wedding, I invite you to rise,” she said. “With a cloud of witnesses gathered — those with us who rejoice in this day, those who are gone from us physically who struggled for this night of joy and those just entering this beautiful and tender world — with these witnesses gathered, we bless now the marriages, the commitments and the covenants in our midst.”

Pausing in remembrance Calling upon the memory of Martin Luther King, Jr., and the last sermon he gave before his assassination, Unitarian Universalist Church of Charlotte Pastor Jay Leach called the celebration’s attendees to somber reflection.

“Tonight in our great joy, we pause to remember all those whose started on this great journey, but never made it here to the promised land with us,” Leach said. “Those who longed only for their love to be equal and recognized. Those who joined in this struggle, but didn’t get to enjoy its outcome … elders taken from us before equality could be given to them.”

Leach also paused to reflect upon the many lost to the 1980s AIDS Crisis, calling their deaths a profound loss for loved ones and the community.

“They never got to see the promised land,” Leach said, continuing: “I’m not the only one in this room tonight whose joy is tempered just a bit by sadness. This came too late for some of our dearest ones to experience.”

Leach then invited those gathered to call out the names of lost loved ones as several congregants shouted out the names of family and friends.

“So long as we live, they too shall live,” Leach said in response. “For they are now a part of us as we remember them.

Amen.” : : — Cameron Joyce contributed

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Marriage Equality: In Photos Hewell and Lindsley wed outside the Mecklenburg County Register of Deeds office on Oct. 13, with Lindsley’s stepfather and mother present.

Photo Credit: Grant Baldwin (grantbaldwinphoto.com)

State Sen. Jeff Jackson speaks to media on Oct. 10 during an Equality North Carolina press remarks.

Photo Credit: Grant Baldwin (grantbaldwinphoto.com)

Scott Lindsley, foreground, waits outside the Mecklenburg County Register of Deeds on Oct. 9 for a ruling striking down North Carolina’s anti-LGBT constitutional amendment on marriage. With him are his mother Carol Hopkins, partner Joey Hewell and photographer Jennifer Hogan.

Photo Credit: Grant Baldwin (grantbaldwinphoto.com)

Jerry Read, left, and Thom Hall, right, finalize the process to receive their marriage license in Mecklenburg County on the morning of Oct. 13.

Photo Credit: Jennifer Hogan (hoganimaging.com)

Mecklenburg County Register of Deeds J. David Granberry, right in blue, updates couples, supporters and media on the afternoon of Oct. 10.

Photo Credit: Grant Baldwin (grantbaldwinphoto.com)

Photo Credit: Grant Baldwin (grantbaldwinphoto.com)

Members of the Charlotte Pride Band serenaded happy couples as they existed the Mecklenburg Register of Deeds office. The band played a medley of “Going to the Chapel of Love” and Felx Mendelssohn’s traditional “Wedding March.”

Photo Credit: Jennifer Hogan (hoganimaging.com)

A supportive couple arrived at the Register of Deeds office on Oct. 13 with colorful cupcakes in tow.

A couple kisses in anticipation of their marriage license as they and others await the Mecklenburg County Register of Deeds to open on Oct. 13.

Photo Credit: Ryan Sumer (Fenix Photography)

More online…

See more photos and a full archive of past and recent updates in our continuing special coverage as marriage equality comes to North Carolina, including archived videos from our online livestreaming coverage of the historic marriage equality day on Oct. 13 goqnotes.com/to/marriagenc/

Oct. 24-Nov. 6 . 2014

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Meet Mecklenburg’s happy couples

by Cameron Joyce and Lainey Millen, compiled by Matt Comer Glenda Lawson and Julie Treadway have been together for five years. A formal ceremony in 2011, though, was no match for their legal wedding on Oct. 13. They’d thought of going out of state to legally wed, but decided against it. “Our kids wouldn’t have been able to be a part of it,” Treadway said. The couple’s son, Dustin, and daughter, Jayda, were with them on Oct. 13, along with a friend, Kayla. “We never thought this would have happened in our lifetime ever never,” said Lawson. (C.J.) Photo Credit: Ryan Sumer (Fenix Photography)

Amanda Eaves Scott, originally from Columbia, S.C., and Christina Ann Corvin from Maimi, both in their 20s, said they couldn’t wait any longer to wed. “We were going to have a wedding in a year, but we wanted to legalize it just in case hatred comes into play — if they take it from us,” Scott said. The couple will hold a formal ceremony next year. At their legal ceremony on Oct. 12, Scott’s father was absent as her mother and friends acted as witnesses. “It was really hard for me to come out,” Scott said. “My dad doesn’t talk to me hardly and I’m just so proud that my mom stands by me.” (C.J.) Photo Credit: Cameron Joyce

Reiko Welch and Brandon Goings have been together for eight years. They’d talked about going to Maryland or Washington, D.C., but decided to hold out for legal marriage here in their home state. It finally happened on Oct. 10. They were among the first in line to receive marriage licenses on Oct. 13 and wed the same day. (C.J.) Photo Credit: Jennifer Hogan (hoganimaging.com)

Kim Pearl and Karen Millman met when they both worked at Winn-Dixie in December 1997. Seven years later, the couple had marked their relationship with a blessing at Temple Beth El. And, on Oct. 17, they were finally able to make it official with a fully legal wedding at the temple, performed under the same chupah (canopy) they’d had made for their commitment ceremony a decade ago. (L.M.) Photo Credit: Wendy Thiesen-Halsey

Terrence Hall and Christopher DeCaria were first in line at the Mecklenburg County Register of Deeds on Oct. 13. They hadn’t planned on it. They wanted to be early, but thought others would have gotten there before they did.

Together for five years, the couple didn’t want to wait any longer. “It was love at first sight,” they said of when they met. “We’re just ready to do this.” (C.J.) Photo Credit: Ryan Sumer (Fenix Photograph

Both in their 60s, Jannet Hince and Donna Travis have been together for 35 years, waiting for the day when their home state might finally and legally recognize their relationship. Like others, they’d considered going out of state, but had been “dragging our feet hoping this would happen,” Hince said. Unfortunate events over the weekend forced their hands the morning of Oct. 13. “A friend of ours unexpectedly died Saturday night and it made us realize we don’t want to wait,” Hince said. “We’ve waited 38 years. It’s time.” Travis added: “We deserve it after all these years.” (C.J.) Photo Credit: Cameron Joyce

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Oct. 24-Nov. 6 . 2014

news Marriage in North Carolina: ‘Hurry up and wait’ goqnotes.com/to/news

The race to full LGBT marriage equality in North Carolina was a whirlwind — often punctuated by long waits and spurts of breaking news. But, when it finally came, almost everyone was unanimous: it happened faster than most could have ever imagined.

Over nearly two weeks, the long journey toward marriage equality was completed. Here’s the historic timeline, through our press time. Take a peek back into the archives of our special coverage for more details: goqnotes.com/to/marriagenc/.

Morning, Monday, Oct. 6 — The U.S. Supreme Court declines to hear an appellate case striking down Virginia’s anti-LGBT constitutional amendment, opening full marriage equality to same-sex couples there and in several other states where similar cases were also denied a Supreme Court hearing.

Morning, Wednesday, Oct. 8 — Joey Hewell and Scott Lindsley head to the Mecklenburg County Register of Deeds office, the first Charlotte same-gender couple to wait it out on the steps of the county courthouse office building.

Evening, Wednesday, Oct. 8 — North Carolina Middle U.S. District Court Judge William Osteen lifts stays which had put two ACLU of North Carolina suits challenging the state’s amendment on hold.

Morning, Thursday, Oct. 9 — Hewell and Lindsley return to the Register of Deeds office, along with a gaggle of local media as legal observers and advocates say a ruling could be imminent.

Afternoon, Thursday, Oct. 9 — Local media outlets continue to show up at the Mecklenburg register’s office as state Republican leaders Thom Tillis and Phil Berger file motions asking Osteen to let them intervene in continued defense of the constitutional ban.

Evening, Thursday, Oct. 9 — Osteen denies a request from Tillis and Berger asking for an eight-day extension in order to file a completed motion to intervene. The GOP leaders hire attorneys affiliated with the anti-LGBT National Organization for Marriage, the 2012 North Carolina amendment campaign’s single-largest donor.

Noon, Friday, Oct. 10 — As interest in the wait for equality grows, so, too, does the presence of same-gender couples and local media. Hewell and Lindsley are again at the register’s office, joined later and briefly by two other couples, when Tillis and Berger again attempt delay and request oral arguments before the court.

4 p.m., Friday Oct. 10 — Osteen denies Tillis’ and Berger’s request for oral arguments and gives plaintiffs in the two ACLU cases until Monday, Oct. 13 to reply to several further legal questions. Attention at the register’s office dies down as observers conclude no ruling will be issued before the close of business.

5 p.m., Friday, Oct. 10 — In a surprise move on a case largely silent throughout the week, Western North Carolina U.S. District Court Judge Max Cogburn issues his order striking down the state’s anti-LGBT marriage ban shortly after 5 p.m., deciding in a lawsuit filed by the United Church of Christ and other religious denominations, clergy and same-sex couples. The order comes too late for marriage licenses to be issued in Charlotte, where the Mecklenburg Register of Deeds office is already closed.

Evening, Friday, Oct. 10 — Registers of Deeds offices in Buncombe, Guilford and Wake counties remain

open or hurriedly reopen after learning of Cogburn’s order. Dozens of marriage licenses are issued in the three counties, which also witness the state’s first legal same-gender marriages. North Carolina GOP leaders hire yet another anti-gay attorney to represent them.

Saturday, Oct. 11 — Iredell County Register of Deeds Matt McCall says he will not issue marriage licenses to same-gender couples until receiving special directives from state officials.

Sunday, Oct. 12 — State officials in the North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services send notices to all 100 registers of deeds informing them of the change in North Carolina marriage law.

7 a.m., Monday, Oct. 13 — More than a dozen samegender couples line up at the Mecklenburg County Register of Deeds office awaiting their chance to receive marriage licenses.

8 a.m., Monday, Oct. 13 — The Mecklenburg register’s office opens to cheers of the couples and supporters waiting outside. By 11 a.m., the marriage license office has issued at least 25 licenses to same-gender couples, with several immediately returned after couples wed on the courthouse office building’s plaza.

Similar scenes are witnessed across the state, though a magistrate in eastern North Carolina’s Pasquotank County refuses to marry a gay couple.

Afternoon, Monday, Oct. 13 — Plaintiffs in two ACLU cases submit their questions to Osteen’s legal questions.

5 p.m., Monday, Oct. 13 — As the Mecklenburg register closes his office, he counts an historic number of marriage licenses ever issued in a single day. A total of 86 licenses are issued, of which at least 62 were issued to same-gender couples. Thirty-five couples wedded outside the office during the day on Monday.

The previous record for licenses issued in a single day is 63. Across North Carolina, an estimated total of at least 379 same-gender marriage licenses are issued in more than half of the state’s 100 counties.

Evening, Monday, Oct. 13 — More than 200 community members attend a community-wide, interfaith celebration of marriage equality at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church.

Afternoon, Tuesday, Oct. 14 — Osteen issues final rulings in his two cases, allowing Tillis and Berger to intervene — and thereby allowing them to appeal — and, similar to Cogburn, striking down the state’s anti-LGBT amendment.

Wednesday, Oct. 15 — Advocates with Equality North Carolina say they are monitoring potential instances of anti-LGBT marriage discrimination as magistrates in Alamance County say they will refuse to perform same-gender marriages.

Thursday, Oct. 16 — Alamance County Chief District Judge Jim Roberson says he wants a “compromise” that will allow magistrates to opt out of their official duties due to their personal religious beliefs.

Evening, Thursday, Oct. 16 — GOP leaders’ attorneys announce they will appeal orders striking down the state’s amendment.

Morning, Friday, Oct. 17 — Local Episcopalians react positively to recent news that all three of North Carolina’s Episcopal bishops will allow clergy across the state to bless and officiate at same-gender marriages.

Afternoon, Friday, Oct. 17 — Roberson changes course and says all magistrates in his district will be required to perform the duties of their oaths as an anti-LGBT legal firm and advocacy group tell North Carolina’s registers of deeds to defy their oaths and refuse to issue same-gender marriage licenses. : : — compiled by Matt Comer

Oct. 24-Nov. 6 . 2014

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Meet North Carolina’s first married same-sex couples t didn’t take long for wedding bells to ring for some Tar Heel same-sex couples after a western North Carolina judge issued his order striking down the state’s anti-LGBT constitutional amendment late in the afternoon on Friday, Oct. 10.

In Raleigh, Greensboro and Asheville, local registers of deeds offices stayed open late, allowing dozens of couples to receive marriage licenses. Some opted to get married right on the spot.

Asheville: Amy and Lauren

couple of six years was wed by the Rev. Lisa Bovee-Kemper.

“We’ve been waiting for this day for years,” Cantrell told the Associated Press.

Raleigh: Chad and Chris In Raleigh, the Wake County Register of Deeds office reopened following news of the marriage ruling. There, Wake County Sheriff’s Deputy Chad Biggs, 35, and his partner Chris Creech, 46 and also a sheriff’s department employee, were first in line.

“Even before this I was happy, but I think now that it’s on paper and it’s legal — it’s a commitment between two people,” Biggs told the AP.

Greensboro: Brad and Frank In Greensboro, Register of Deeds Jeff Thigpen also reopened his office.

“We had a federal judicial order of the likes that hasn’t come down Photo Credit: in a generation and we Campaign for Southern Equality. had a lot of people who wanted to come in and get a license to get married and spend the rest of Amy Cantrell and Lauren White are married outside the their lives with someone that they love,” Thigpen Buncombe County Register of Deeds office on Friday evening told Greensboro’s WFMY. by the Rev. Lisa Bovee-Kemper. Cantrell and White were among Thigpen added: “We needed to be here and the first same-sex couples in North Carolina to receive legal we needed to serve them and as you can tell, marriage licenses and legally wed. Photo Credit: Campaign for the energy and the emotion here is electric.”

Southern Equality.

And, serve Thigpen did — dozens of couples Amy Cantrell, 42, and Lauren White, 29, were the first samereceived licenses and wed in Greensboro. The sex couple to receive their license in Asheville. Buncombe first was Brad Newton and Frank Brooks of County Register Drew Reisinger helped them complete their Colfax. The two had waited at the registers of marriage license. Immediately afterwards, Cantrell, White and deeds office since Thursday. : : their two children stepped outside the office and were the

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Photo Credit: ACLU of North Carolina.

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Photo Credit: Equality NC

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Oct. 24-Nov. 6 . 2014

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editor’s note

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

Marriage is won, but we’re not done “Marriage equality won’t end all of the oppression, discrimination, prejudice and bigotry forced upon our community. The same right-wing groups that so passionately opposed marriage equality will choose to engage on other issues. Indeed, they already have — most notably in their efforts attacking transgender people and trans-inclusive non-discrimination efforts.

“What’s next? Where will this movement go? How will we address so many issues left on the sidelines as the bulk of our movement’s dollars and resources were mobilized for marriage?”

That’s what I wrote in an online commentary (“The marriage fight is effectively over. So what’s next?”, goqnotes.com/31569/) the morning after the U.S. Supreme Court set into motion a dizzying whirlwind of legal movements eventually bringing marriage equality to North Carolina.

Two incidents reminded me of that commentary and its questions.

A full week after the Supreme Court’s decision to take no action on several LGBT marriage amendment cases, the first full day of marriage equality in North Carolina became a reality. Couples lined up early at the Mecklenburg County Register of Deeds office for their marriage licenses and half decided to marry right there on the spot. Among them was a couple who respectfully asked media not to photograph or record their ceremony. One of the spouses-to-be wasn’t out at work and feared losing her job.

Days later, Albemarle’s The Stanly News & Press reported on the first legally-wed, same-gender couple in that county. The editor preceded the story with the following note: “Although the names of the same-sex couple referenced in this story are public record and their wedding was performed in a public place, The Stanly News & Press chose not to identify the names of the wedded couple per their request because of their concern for retaliation.”

Five paragraphs into the story, we also learn: “The couple asked that their identities be concealed, since their families had not been informed of the wedding. Neither did they want to cause controversy for one of the wedded partners at her place of employment.”

For some couples across this state — and 28 others — the joy of their recent nuptials might very well be short lived.

Married today. Fired tomorrow.

The plan to fix that? I haven’t really heard one.

The Employment Non-Discrimination Act, pending legislation which would protect all LGBT workers from workplace discrimination, has been introduced in all but one session of Congress for 20 years. It’s literally gone nowhere and seems to have no hope of passing. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not three or six months from now. A year or two? I honestly can’t tell you. I doubt LGBT advocacy groups and activists can either.

The LGBT advocates I know are deeply aware of the problem and want to see it addressed.

“I wish we could make employment non-discrimination as sexy an issue as marriage,” one told me recently, hinting at the public’s — and our own community’s — demonstrated inability to treat employment non-discrimination with the same kind of emotional and activist fervor as marriage.

Here at home, groups like Equality North Carolina want desperately to highlight the issue. Last month, along with local leaders with the Human Rights Campaign, they worked diligently to challenge the anti-gay employment views of Charlotte’s U.S. Rep. Robert Pittenger. Previously this year, they’ve spoken out against Gov. Pat McCrory’s decision to leave LGBT workers out of his own executive order on workplace non-discrimination.

They also highlighted larger issues of discrimination in employment, housing and public accommodations when state lawmakers considered nondiscrimination protections for charter school students earlier this year.

But, none of those instances of advocacy nor any of Equality North Carolina’s ongoing work highlighting discrimination have ever received as much attention as marriage.

I don’t know the answer. I honestly cannot tell you how we make our community more interested in and devoted to these issues. The problem vexes the mind, especially when one stops to consider that so many people — far more, I’m sure, than the numbers of those who seek to wed — are affected by discrimination in housing, employment, public accommodations and elsewhere.

All I know is that we have work to do. Today. Right now. And, we can’t wait. : :

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qnotes connect Oct. 24-Nov. 6, 2014 Vol 29 No 13

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contributors this issue

Paige Braddock, Buff Faye, Matt Comer, Esih Efuru, Cameron Joyce, Lainey Millen, Trinity

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spiritual reflections

by Esih Efuru :: qnotes contributor

The winner…and still champion Jae is a lifelong friend of mine. She and I share a birthday, men’s shoe fetishes and wit. We also share passion and creativity in all forms. However, there is one difference that makes her my hero: She is a champion survivor.

She is HIV-positive and now cancer-free; she has survived all types of cancer. She has battled enough health scares to have her own brand of courage.

She fights valiantly, lovingly, brilliantly and with graceful transparency.

You don’t walk into a battle knowing or even understanding the dynamics in full. Sometimes life thrusts you into war, where you must decide to fight or die. Jae has had many a war; she has endured death in all colors. The most beautiful thing about her is that no matter where she was on the arc of survival, she always had time to love and always remembered her friends.

We met in church over 20 years ago and have laughed, sang and cried through seasons of love, loss and betrayal. A thing to remember about Jae’s capacity to love and fight for her friends is her determination to do so at her best and her worst. There was a time when we had to intervene on her behalf in the hurricane of her drug addiction. She stared at us from her couch with eyes so full of pain and love together that we could barely look at her. As we left her home, she held each of us tightly, even though she’d disregard our concerns and use the very next day.

Thankfully, hope waved in her favor as she entered rehab soon after.

It was her love and friendship that met us as she completed her program and came back home to us and what led us to support her eventual

battles with cancer. When Jae gave us the news of her breast cancer diagnosis, we were saddened. Jae quickly encouraged us to make love the center of the crisis and asked us to make molds of our breasts with her before surgery. This creative cohort included jokes, laughter, tears and lots of hugs from Jae. We reflected on the gifts that we had the honor of keeping and honored her for the gift that she was losing to save her life. She led the way as we returned her love and later strengthened us all with her jovial journey of recovery.

Jae takes life and makes her challenges glorious works of art. She later began creating jewelry for her friends while receiving cancer treatment. Her journey as an HIV-positive woman of faith fighting breast cancer inspired us all to live healthier emotional lives, care for our bodies and to make love, happiness, worship and creativity a daily regimen. She fights valiantly, lovingly and beautifully. She is a living wonder.

Jae now stands tall, and continues to create joy and inspiration through her art and ministry. She gives the same warm hugs that she did 20 years ago, along with the same smile, passion, shoe fetish and wit. She is now cancer-free and advocates aggressively for others in pain and need. She is a gentle wind in the storm, a ray of rainbows in the press of life. She is a living epistle that knows how battles can throw you against the rocks and spit acid into your weeping eyes. She has been thrown, shaken, shredded and spit upon. Nevertheless, she is here, still standing, still surviving and still winning. : :

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news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen & Matt Comer

Disagreements surface after LGBT center’s chair removed CHARLOTTE — New leadership changes at Charlottte’s LGBT center during the week of Oct. 14 prompted public questions over the process used to remove the organization’s now-former chair and install a new interim leader. The new controversy follows after the center came under intense scrutiny for financial mismanagement, transparency and leadership accountability earlier this year — including its near closure and several high-profile resignations from the board.

Ranzeno Frazier, who took over as the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte’s board chair on May 29, was removed as chair of the organization on Oct. 14. And, he was not happy with this decision, which he said was made behind his back. The center’ s new leader, Judson Gee, said the correct processes were followed and that it was necessary, citing Frazier’s inexperience.

Gee said other board members did feel similarly, a conclusion they came to after a conference call on Oct. 9. They had originally planned to invite Frazier to join the conference call to discuss their concerns over his leadership, but instead decided to wait until the group’s next regularly scheduled board meeting on Oct. 14.

Frazier, though, learned about the conference call before being informed by the board. Though he had some prior conversations about his work and family commitments with other board members, learning of the phone conference was the first time Frazier said he became aware the board had formed a consensus.

Because Frazier was made aware of the call, he was surprised that he was not allowed to state his case with the board. He was informed by Nate Turner, Ashley Love and Edward McCray, members of the board, that he would be asked to resign his executive position, but still remain on the board. However, he was not given the name of the position they wanted him to fulfill. Gee later said that it was a “fatal flaw” on the part of the board to not include Frazier in the full process.

Discrepancies between what Frazier and Gee said ensued. Gee indicated that Frazier would attend the meeting and would be present for the formalities, but Frazier said he informed the board that he could not due to work constraints.

Frazier was the first African-American chair of the center. During his tenure, the organization was making some headway in digging out of its financial difficulties and was moving forward to secure a new location.

Current members of the board include Gee, Turner, McCray, and Love, as well as Jenny Richeson and John Dimier, a CPA who was recently appointed as the center’s treasurer. On Oct. 15, the board also appointed Tamika Lewis as the group’s programs chair.

Former board member Clay Smith recently resigned from his position on Oct. 6.

To read the full story, visit goqnotes.com/32122/.

— M.C.

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Charlotte Fashion fete benefits orgs

CHARLOTTE — BRIEF! A Fete of Fashion will be held on Nov. 1, 7 p.m., at Extravaganza Depot, 1610 N. Tryon St. Twenty-four male models will strut the runway decked out in trendy underwear, sports and loungewear.

Proceeds will benefit Time Out Youth Center and the Human Rights Campaign.

Tickets range from $35 to $125, with choices of standing room, seated or VIP seating locations, and are available online.

VIP ticket holders receive a table for four on the runway, two bottles of champagne and light hors d’oeuvres. info: brieffeteforfashion.org.

— L.M.

Attorney presents legal options

CHARLOTTE — Connie J. Vetter, Attorney at Law, will present “A Legal Talk on Same-Sex Marriage in North Carolina” on Nov. 5, 6 p.m., at The VanLandingham Estate, 2010 The Plaza.

During the discussion, attendees will be able to hear the latest on same-sex marriage, adoption, recognition of out-of-state same-sex marriages and more.

The program is free and open to the public.

Use the contact form online to suggest other topics of interest prior to the presentation.

For specific legal questions, call 704-333-4000. info: cjwlaw.com.

— L.M.

see News Notes on 20

Oct. 24-Nov. 6 . 2014

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Arrowood seeks return to court If elected, John Arrowood would be first openly gay candidate elected statewide

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com This year’s general election on Nov. 4 will include a massive contest for the North Carolina Court of Appeals. Nineteen candidates are running for a seat on the court. Among them is Charlotte’s John Arrowood, who served briefly on the court from 2007-2008 after being appointed by Gov. Mike Easley to fill a vacancy.

Arrowood is running to return tot he court. If he wins the election, he’ll be the first openly LGBT candidate to win statewide election in North Carolina and, for that matter, anywhere in the entire South.

Arrowood has a long record of community service, including within the LGBT community, where he has served on the board of the Victory Institute.

He’s also served on the North Carolina Banking Commission, board of directors of the North Carolina Railroad Company, the North Carolina Arts Council and the boards of Charlotte’s Mint Museum and the Urban Minsitry Center. He’s also on the Vestry of St. Peter’s Episcopal Church.

He has been in private practice with the firm of James, McElroy and Diehl, PA in Charlotte.

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Amid his race against 18 opponents, Arrowood says he’s been working diligently to differentiate himself.

“I believe my experience as a superior court judge and as a lawyer in private practice for 23 years, together with all my civic and other activities, makes me the best qualified,” he says.

Arrowood has been endorsed by the Victory Fund, the North Carolina Democratic Party, the Wake County Democratic Party, the North Carolina Association of Educators, the North Carolina AFLCIO, Equality NC, the North Carolina chapter of the National Organization for Women and Durham People’s Alliance.

Our Q&A with Arrowood follows below. It has been edited for brevity and clarity.

Matt Comer: You obviously love the law. You went to law school and became an attorney, but what is it about specifically serving as a judge that attracts you and why do you think it is important?

Oct. 24-Nov. 6 . 2014

John Arrowood: I think it is important that we in North Carolina have a judiciary of folks who have a record of being able to render fair and impartial judgments without favor to any party or to the state. I think it is important to have a background in civil law as well. I think it’s important that we have not just one type of path to the appellate courts, but a variety of paths. I think it’s important that all areas of the state be represented. I believe, as of right now, half of the judges sitting on the North Carolina Court of Appeals all live in Wake County. As of of the first of January, should I not be elected, there won’t be anyone from Mecklenburg County on the Court of Appeals. There may not be one on either of the appellate courts.

We have heard a lot of conservatives, especially, talk about judicial tyranny and the overreach of the judicial. But, we have three separate branches of government for a reason. I’d love for you to elaborate on why it is important for judges to weigh in and why it is important to have an independent third branch of government.

The legislative branch makes laws. The executive then carries out those laws. The judiciary acts as a traffic cop on both of those branches to make sure that the laws they enact and the way that those laws are enforced do not violate the constitutional rights of the minority. It is not

judicial tyranny when a court says what the majority of folks wants to do violates a fundamental right of other folks who hold a minority view or who are minorities within the nation. The judicial branch is there to act as a stopgap and to keep them from overreaching on other constitutional measures. We have a U.S. Constitution that gives people certain inalienable rights. We also have a North Carolina Constitution that gives folks rights. As the state Supreme Court said in Corum v. the University of North Carolina in 1992: “It is the state judiciary that has the responsibility to protect the state constitutional rights of the citizens; this obligation to protect the fundamental rights of individuals is as old as the State. Our Constitution is more detailed and specific than the federal Constitution in the protection of the rights of its citizens.”

You served on the Court of Appeals for two years last decade. Why is it now that you personally want to throw your hat back in the ring?

I enjoyed the work. I think I am good at the work. I think I bring a set of skills and a set of life experiences to this job that is needed at the court. I believe I have a proven track record of being fair and impartial and of being hardworking and efficient. I believe the court needs that and I believe I can better bring that to the court than anybody else in this race. : :

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news

LGBT ally Storch seeks House seat Margie Storch running in Charlotte swing district

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com One of the most high-profile LGBT allies running for election in the Charlotte area this season is Margie Storch. She’s hoping to unseat incumbent Republican state House Rep. Rob Bryan, who represents portions of South End, Dilworth and other neighborhoods further south in the city.

Storch has worked for House of Mercy for 11 years — her interest in the wellbeing of people living with AIDS was sparked by her gay brother’s experience with the disease in the 1990s. She’s a longtime community advocate, progressive activist and non-profit staffer.

Storch’s campaign was a last-minute decision she says, though voters and supporters have pulled through.

Our short Q&A with Storch is below. It has been edited for brevity and clarity.

Mostly, I hear concerns about what’s happening with the public education system and the fact we are losing so many teachers. Despite the fact there was a pay raise passed in the short session, we are still not even paying our teachers an average wage. We are 48 out of 50 states when it comes to per-pupil spending. People want to see increased investment in public education. Citizens have also expressed concerns about the Charlotte airport and what appeared to be a power grab with no consultation with stakeholders or citizens before that was pushed through. I hope to bring greater transparency and consulting stakeholders before pushing through legislation to make sure that we’ve got citizens agreeing that this is something good to do. I

think also I’m concerned and I’ve heard citizens express concern about the very strict voting laws that have been passed.

How do you foresee yourself working across the aisle and in tandem with a majority party that is of the opposing view?

As a legislator you really do need to compromise. I think the first thing I need to do is to build relationships and to really talk, not only to Democrats, but to Republicans

and try to understand what it is that is motivating them and what is important to them. Sometimes we agree on the end result, but there might be a better way to get there. It is also important that we do elect some Democrats — enough to bring the supermajority down. They have absolute power now. Even if the governor vetoes bad legislation. There are not enough people in the legislature to override that power. If we can elect enough Democrats we can break the supermajority.

It does make a difference what happens in this election. : :

Matt Comer: You’ve long been an ally to the LGBT community and have worked for House of Mercy for 11 years now. Why have you been so supportive?

Margie Storch: I’ve been a long time National Organization for Women (NOW) member and lesbian and gay rights have always been an important part of my mission. I also have a gay brother who died of AIDS in my home in 1992.

So, I was very aware as a young person the pain people feel from discrimination and was very aware of the problems my brother was experiencing. I have always been concerned about equality issues and social justice. That is just a natural part of what I support.

What was it that first interested you in progressive and social justice movements?

I grew up during the Vietnam War and remember watching a lot of the war coverage on TV and just thinking there’s got to be a better way to solve our problems. My mother was an early NOW member and she had a lot of feminist books in the house which I read including, “The Feminine Mystique.” I grew up, actually, in a very conservative, white Protestant town, so I was actually in the minority with my thinking.

It just felt right to me. I’ve always felt like I’ve wanted to pull for the underdog and to make sure that things are fair so that everyone has an equal shot.

After all your civic involvement, why make the jump into politics and elected office?

I’ve been involved in the Moral Monday marches in Raleigh and the gatherings in Charlotte and there is something wrong when so many teachers and preachers are being arrested in the state legislature. When the deadline was approaching for the end of filing, I realized that nobody was challenging the incumbent, who has been voting very badly and I don’t think representing my district very well. I got on the phone and worked on recruiting. It ended up being me in the end and I thought I’ve been working in political campaigns for decades, I’m very interested in political issues and I know I can do a better job than my opponent. So, I decided to step up. The best way to change policy is to change the policymakers if they continue to make bad choices.

As you’ve traveled the district and talked to voters, what have you found to be common concerns?

Oct. 24-Nov. 6 . 2014

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news news notes: u.s./world. goqnotes.com/to/news

Marriage equality states rise from 19 to 32 in two weeks led to subsequent rulings in Same-sex couples won the right to marry in Alaska Alaska and Arizona, leaving and Arizona on Friday, Oct. Montana as the only state in 17 after separate court Ninth Circuit still enforcing decisions ended bans in their ban. those states. And, a third When the dust settled, the ruling in Wyoming meant U.S. went from 19 states with same-sex marriages could marriage equality to 32 in the begin there shortly. span of just two weeks.

Photo Credit: ferrylodge via Wikipedia.

The rulings bookRead a full recap of the CC license. end two weeks of legal developments from qnotes’ wrangling, triggered by a U.S. Supreme Court national news partner LGBTQ Nation at decision on Oct. 6 that declined to hear aplgbtqnation.com/2014/10/this-weeks-developpeals of marriage rulings from five states. The ments-in-marriage-equality/. : : action lead to marriage equality becoming — LGBTQ Nation law in Indiana, Oklahoma, Utah, Virginia and Wisconsin, and ultimately states under the QUICK HITS —————————— jurisdiction of the U.S. Courts of Appeals for the Fourth, Seventh and Tenth Circuits where bans A landmark welcome to LGBT people from the were previously held as unconstitutional.

Roman Catholic Church’s international synod of Within days, marriage equality arrived in bishops was effectively scrapped at the end of Colorado (Tenth Circuit), West Virginia (Fourth) the church’s historic meeting on Oct. 18. and North Carolina (Fourth) as those states more: bit.ly/1vQh5yj either stopped defending their bans, or subsequent rulings were made under the controlling The Human Rights Campaign has backed the rulings of their circuits. A ruling in Wyoming use of a daily HIV-prevention pill and has called (Tenth) came Oct. 17, leaving Kansas (Tenth) on insurers to include more coverage of the and South Carolina (Fourth) as the only states drug for more people. among those three circuits where bans remain more: bit.ly/1CGZqI5 in place.

Meanwhile, out West, the U.S. Court of A California teenager accused of setting fire Appeals for the Ninth Circuit struck down bans last year to an agender teen sleeping on an in Idaho and Nevada on Oct. 7. That decision Oakland city bus has pleaded no contest to the crime and will serve seven years in prison under a plea agreement. more: bit.ly/1qVuI8m A U.S. Marine, Joseph Scott Pemberton, has been accused of killing a transgender woman in the Philippines. Jennifer Laude, 26, was apparently drowned. more: bit.ly/1t0BrTk The U.S. has condemned plans in Kyrgyzstan to adopt an anti-LGBT propaganda law similar to one passed in Russia last year. more: bit.ly/1vxYiq2 A new marriage equality law passed by the Scottish Parliament on Feb. 4 will come into full effect on New Year’s Eve. The nation becomes the 17th in the world to legalize same-gender marriage. more: bit.ly/1FmLhDR

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Oct. 24-Nov. 6 . 2014

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15

goqnotes.com/to/arts

tell trinity

by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

Can we be lovers if we’re not making love?

Dearest Trinity, Six weeks ago I met someone, but after the second week the sex stopped. We’re still very affectionate, but “health issues and medicine” makes him “unsexual” so he says.

Now, I’m going sexually insane! I’m not ready for celibacy, but finding a great guy like him is tough. Can we be lovers if were not making love?

Celibately Insane, Louisville, KY Dearest Celibately Insane, I want to say sex is not everything, love and companionship is. And, I want to say that dating is hard, so if you meet someone you like, do everything to make it work, even give

up sex. But, pumpkin, I can’t say that. Sex is a wonderful and exciting part of life, nature and love. I’m afraid you’re both destined for a great friendship, not a great love affair. If you really need sex, then sooner or later you’re gonna have to find a sexual boyfriend. Hey, you’ve made a great friend and sometimes that’s better than a great lover…I think!

Dear Trinity, I chatted with someone on line and really got hooked into meeting him. He looked hot, but when we met he obviously altered his photos.

He was almost 10 years older and 30 pounds fatter than his pix! I cut our date short and haven’t returned his emails or phone calls.

How do I get out politely even though I’m mad?

InterNuts, Omaha, NB Dear InterNuts, Fools, I mean people on the net, for some alien reason feel like they’re beyond reality, free to be dishonest (or overly honest) even more than they’ve ever been in their entire life. People will also do anything for love! Plus, Photoshop could make Mr. Potatohead look like a porn star. So, email him “not interested,” crawl off the web and start going out again. It’s much more real!

Honey, the internet’s a trap! Why do you think they call it the net and/ or the web! (Weeding out the good ones sure can be hard to do with internet chatting or dating as you can see in my cartoon.)

Hello Trinity, My lover and I are about to get married. I know it sounds crazy, but do you have any vows or declarations two people might read at or before their ceremony?

About To Leap, Burlington, VT Hello About To Leap, As a minister, I always think it’s best to make your own declarations, but to get you started I’ve written: Trinity’s Tough Declarations For Being Married, Partnered Or In A Committed Relationship 1. C ommitment: I promise not to sleep with, search the internet or have any type of sex with anyone other than my spouse. (Yes, you can say it.)

2. C larity: I promise not to threaten to divorce every time we have an issue, problem, fight or when his or her mother gets too involved.

3. R esiliency: I promise never to get too comfortable just because I have a signed contract, thus I promise to continually foster a sound, healthy and lasting relationship.

4. C ompromise: I promise to compromise by persistently trying new things while being

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a&e

open to new ideas that will make me a better partner and person, intellectually, emotionally and sexually!

5. Intrigue: I promise to push myself toward always being interesting, exciting, upbeat and fun!

6. Romance: I promise to be affectionate, charming, charitable and romantic, as well as help with the chores.

7. Control: I promise never to get too controlling, jealous, insecure or smothering.

(You’re married, not a slave owner in the 1700’s!)

8. Communication: I promise to communicate my feelings, as well as be a great listener, yet keep some personal problems to myself so to not burden the relationship.

9. Change: I promise to work on bad habits, alter lazy attitudes, work on deep-down issues and not make my partner my therapist!

10. Lastly, Responsibility: I promise to take responsibility for my actions, not blame anyone for being themselves and compromise…till it kills me! info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

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a&e

Spooky scenes for Halloween Local haunted houses, trails and other attractions

SCarowinds 14523 Carowinds Blvd., Charlotte Oct. 24, 26, 31, Nov. 1: 7 p.m.-midnight; Oct. 25: 7 p.m.-1 a.m.

Haunt Pass (unlimited visits), $55 Admission & Fright Lane Combo, $57.99 Friday Haunt Admission. $37.99 Saturday Haunt Admission. $42.99 Sunday Haunt Admission. $32.99 Fright Lane with Skeleton Key. $35.00 Campground Nightmare 940 Gold Hill Rd., Fort Mill 866-SLASHER (866-752-7437) Oct. 24, 25,30, Nov. 1: 7:30-11 p.m, Oct. 26, 29: 7:30-10 p.m.

Oct. 31: 7 p.m. -1 a.m.

Admission, $22 all ages Dr. Evil’s Haunted Houses World Famous Morris Costumes 4300 Monroe Rd., Charlotte 8 haunted events for one price $28 (coupon for $3 off at morriscostumes.com) Latta Haunted Trail 6201 Sample Rd., Huntersville 704-992-1550 Oct. 25-26, 8 p.m.-midnight Admission, $25

The Haunted Mill 6325 Wilkinson Blvd., Belmont 704-829-6455 Oct. 24-26, 29-Nov. 1 7:30-11 p.m. weeknights, 7:30 p.m.-midnight weekends Adults, $15 Children 10 under, $10 Mill & unlimited mini golf adult, $20, child, $13 Scarrigan Farms 1261 Oak Ridge Farm Hwy., Mooresville 704-664-1450 6:30-10 p.m.

Admission, $20 Fright Factory 935 N. Graham St., Charlotte Oct. 26-31 Admission, $13 Spirits of Rosedale Historic Rosedale Plantation 3427 N. Tryon St., Charlotte Oct. 24, 25 & 31 — Compiled by qnotes staff

Oct. 24-Nov. 6 . 2014

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17

Ask Dr. C…HIV and healthcare advice

Helping to keep you in the know with up-to-date information

by Frederick Cruickshank ~ Medical Director

After many successful installments of “Ask Dr. C” in the past, Rosedale wants to bring back this opportunity to offer our readers’ information about infectious disease from basic questions to in-depths explanations. The questions have provided us a forum to debunk myths and remove stigma from those living with HIV and AIDS. In addition, we would like to address any of your concerns about sexual health. It is important to educate yourself, get tested, and protect yourself! Send your questions to info@ rosedaleid.com. Dr. C looks forward to responding to as many emails as possible.

Over the past couple of weeks, there has been much

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conversation about Ebola. What exactly is Ebola and how is it transmitted?

— Brad from Monroe Brad, this is a great question. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), Ebola is a rare, but severe viral disease that often results in death. The virus travels through the body, ultimately causing damage to the immune system and vital organs. The illness can progress to uncontrollable bleeding, due to high levels of blood clotting.

In reference to the second part of your question, research has suggested that the virus spreads through direct contact. Examples include, direct contact with: a sick person’s blood or bodily fluids (semen or saliva); objects (such as needles) which have been contaminated with bodily fluids; and infected animals. Individuals that are at high risk of infection consists of health workers and family members or others in close contact with infected persons.

If you are interested in learning more about Ebola, please do not hesitate to contact our office at 704-948-8582.

Are men susceptible to HPV? If so, what are the health problems associated with it?

— Sean from Rock Hill Great question Sean! The Human Papillomavirus (HPV) is one of the most common sexually transmitted infections to date. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), HPV is so common that almost all sexually active men and women get it at some point in their lives. HPV can be transmitted through vaginal, anal, or oral sex with an individual who has the virus. However, it is most commonly

spread during episodes of vaginal or anal sex.

In regards to your second question, research has shown that most men who contract HPV rarely display or develop symptoms or health problems. However, some types of HPV can cause genital warts. Furthermore, HPV can cause cancers of the penis, anus, or oropharynx (back of the throat, including base of the tongue and tonsils). Certainly, there are groups of individuals that are more vulnerable to contract HPV than others, including gay and bisexual men and men with weakened immune systems (especially those who are diagnosed with HIV). I would encourage you to engage in dialogue with your doctor to express all of your concerns. If you would like further information please feel comfortable contacting the staff at Rosedale ID at 704-948-8582.

Always remember that this is an advice column based on your questions and the best possible knowledge out there. We need your questions to help educate the community, so email them to info@rosedaleid.com and be sure to include a first name and location. All respondents will remain anonymous. We will try to do our best to answer, educate and inform from your responses to this column. Don’t forget to visit our website at rosedaleid.com and friend us on Facebook for community and clinical updates.

Don’t forget to visit our website at rosedaleid.com and friend us on Facebook for community and clinical updates.

— Sponsored Content —

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life

Dishing with Buff Faye

by Buff Faye :: qnotes contributor :: info@bufffaye.com

Tia Douglas: Drag ‘is who I am’ Indeed drag has changed our world and the lives of many. Recently, I had a moment to sit down with Tia Douglas for my first column in qnotes. Tia is a local veteran of drag for over 20 years now. She started at the age of 18 or 19.

You would never guess her age (from stage).

We met at my favorite restaurant, Dish, of course. Thus the name of my monthly column!

I chose to feature Tia because she is the epitome of drag entertainment — beauty,

Photo Credit: Tommy Feldman/Aaron Malachi

experience, creativity, a love for the art. As a trans woman, her life journey is authentic.

So, as we ate our crispy potato poppers, we began chatting.

Tia describes herself as a “transsexual” woman, the term she prefers. Her first drag show was at Oleen’s on South Blvd. She says the lights went out that night, so they “pulled out a flash light and a jam box” for the show.

It was a different time she recalls. Before electricity, I joked, and she smiled.

“Well, there was a definite interest in drag back then. Local girls got a lot more respect and drag shows were appreciated more. Today, there is a saturation of drag which can be good or bad…it is more accessible via ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race,’ social media and elsewhere,” she says.

I have heard the same from other drag queens.

Tia continued: “I don’t want to sound bitchy, but sometimes if drag is not as good or special, then you are not going to pay to see it at a club anymore.” Definitely some food for thought.

Growing up as a young boy, Tia knew little about drag, much less trans people. “The first drag queen I met, I thought she was a hooker.

And, a few days later she was putting me in drag for my first time as a performer. I never knew that it was possible to do drag…but, it made me happy and I loved it,” she said.

I found myself enthralled with her story — her evolution as a drag entertainer and her life

as a trans woman are naturally intertwined. “I knew from a young age, I was most comfortable as a female. Drag became a way for me to express myself creatively…it is who I am.”

Tia can be found every Thursday at Chasers and she is on the house cast of Scorpios.

During the day, you can find her at the Red Door on South Blvd. (she wanted me to plug that!). Tia has won several titles dating back to 2004. She currently is the reigning 2014 Miss North Carolina Entertainer of Year and 2014 Miss All Hallow’s Eve. On Tuesday, Oct. 28, Tia will be giving up her Miss All Hallow’s Eve title at Chasers.

Drag is fun, but Tia admits it’s not easy.

Today, “everyone thinks they can do it.”

She remarks: “It is more than putting on a dress and I take a lot of time and [put] money into costumes and you have to be able to express an emotion on stage.” Actually, she quit drag for about four years, not knowing if she would return. “I quit doing drag and changed my life around. I got too absorbed into the party environment and my life was going nowhere. I was just getting fucked up and doing shows. It was not good,” she said.

So, I asked Tia one last question: If you had a microphone to every drag queen out there, what would you tell them today? “Do not put your personal business on Facebook,” Tia said. “Nobody wants to know. It is unprofessional. Don’t put voice to your craziness. It makes you look stupid.

How many posts do you have to see about a pageant being rigged, just don’t go back.”

End scene. Thank you Tia. : : DRAG TIP: From Tia: “If you don’t have a feminine figure, wear hip pads.”

SHOUT OUTS: Listen up! Check out the Miss All Hallow’s Eve Pageant where Tia gives up her crown; Oct. 28, Chasers.

For more Halloween festive horrors attend: Sunday Funday at Cathode Azure on Oct. 26; Snug Harbor’s Lip Gloss, Oct. 30; “RuPaul’s Drag Race”BenDeLaCreme at The Bar at 316 and The Scorpio, Nov. 1-2. Take your favorite straight person!

— Buff Faye calls the Queen City her home and performs to help save the world from Republicans (and raise money for charities).

Find her at your favorite bars and hot spots.

Plus don’t forget her monthly Sunday drag brunch and regular Friday night party bus.

Learn more at AllBuff.com.

Follow on Twitter @BuffFaye

Oct. 24-Nov. 6 . 2014

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News Notes continued from page 10

Latino films screenings approach

CHARLOTTE — The CineMás Latino Film Series, Orgullo (pride), organized by La Coalición, Latin American Coalition, will be held on Nov. 5, 7 p.m., at Mint Museum Randolph, 2730 Randolph Rd. Doors open at 6 p.m.

Four LGBT short films will be shown that include: “Alex y Fabio Ya No Estan” (an exploration of a couple’s relationship); “Bajo el último techo” (the befriending of a trans neighbor); “Carreteras” (lesbian-themed); and “You’re dead to me” (dealing with grief and family loss).

The screening is presented by the Mint Museum, Arts & Science Council, North Carollina Arts Council and McDonald’s.

Tickets are $5 are available at the door. info: latinamericancoalition.org.

— L.M.

Guild gala upcoming

CHARLOTTE — The Charlotte Business Guild will hold its Gala, A Giving & Awards Ceremony, on Nov. 8 at 900 NC Music Factory Blvd.

Cocktails will be served at 6:30 p.m., with the gala and awards ceremony following at 7:30 p.m.

Hors d’oeuvres, dinner and a cash bar will be included in attendee’s ticket cost.

A keynote speaker and live entertainment, which was not available at press time, will be a highlight of the evening’s festivities.

Tickets range from $35/student to $655/ non-member full table. See the website for full pricing options.

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In other news, the guild will host a Connect Networking event on Oct. 28, 6:30 p.m., at Dilworth Grille, 911 E. Morehead St. Enjoy a cash bar and complimentary hors d’ouevres.

RSVP via Facebook at facebook.com/ CharlotteBusinessGuild/events. info/tickets: charlottebusinessguild.com.

— L.M.

Set up the pins, bowlers!

CHARLOTTE — The Human Rights Campaign is sponsoring its annual Bowling for Equality will be held on Nov. 8, 2 p.m., at 10 Park Lanes, 1700 Montford Dr. NoDa Brewing Company is the presenting sponsor.

Participants will be able to enjoy three hours of bowling, live music, free prizes and a membership to HRC. Shoes are included.

Tickets are: $15/youth under 12, $35/single, $25/student 12-21 with valid ID, $100/lane sponsor and $150/lane captain for up to five people.

They are available online info: hrc.org/events/entry/hrc-charlotte-bowlingfor-equality.

— L.M.

Church fellowship shares fall programs CHARLOTTE — Myers Park Baptist Church, 1900 Queens Rd., has announced its fall fellowship opportunities through their LGBT outreach ministry.

The church is hosting an outreach work-

shop, “Youth/HIV/Homeless: Care & Justice” on Nov. 15, 10 a.m., in Heaton Hall. It will be facilitated by Jake Goodman, a Jewish educator, performer and community organizer.

Join the LGBT Fellowship and Ministry of Outreach, advocacy leaders from Time Out Youth and RAIN, and local church leaders to discuss what it means to be an “affirming” congregation today. Kids are coming out at younger and younger ages, the fight against AIDS has shifted and homeless LGBT youth are more visible than ever. Discussion will focus on what responsibility faith institutions have and where do they stand on these social issues.

On Nov. 16, 9:45 a.m., in Heaton Hall, an adult form will be presented on “What It Means to Actively Create a More Welcoming Faith Community” led by Goodman.

After services on Nov. 16, 12:15 p.m., enjoy an LGBT meet and greet in the Parlor. Coffee and sweets are provided. info: scott.crowder@nbc.com.

— L.M.

Triad Foundation to award grants

GREENSBORO — The Guilford Green Foundation will present its 2014 grants on Oct. 28, 6 p.m., at the Greenhill Gallery in the Greensboro Cultural Center, 200 N. Davie St. Awardees will be presented during the evening’s ceremony.

goqnotes.com/to/news

Volunteer recognition will also be part of the program. info: ggfnc.org.

— L.M.

Film fest comes to Triad

WINSTON-SALEM — OUT at the Movies and Triad’s LGBT Film Series will hold their OUT @ the Movies Fest ’14 from Nov. 14-16 at a/perture cinema, 311 W 4th St., University of North Carolina School of the Arts (UNCSA) Ace Exhibition Center, 1533 S Main St., and Wake Forest University (WFU) Porter Byrum Welcome Center, 1834 Wake Forest Rd. A screening of the acclaimed Brazilian film, “The Way He Looks,” will be shown at WFU on Friday evening.

Bishop Gene Robinson will be on hand on Saturday at WFU for his documentary, “Love Free or Die” (immediately followed by a Q&A) and Shiv Paul and Chip Hines will be in town for two screenings of “Queens At Court” (Saturday and Sunday). Rodeo star and “Queens and Cowboys: A Straight Year on the Gay Rodeo” subject, Char Duran, will venture from Colorado Springs, Colo., and J.C. Calciano and Jack Turner will travel from Los Angeles, Calif., for the screening of the romantic comedy, “The 10 Year Plan.”

Other films include “A Last Farewell”, “Barrio Boy,” “Dream Date,” “Helicopter Mom,” “Lilting” and “The Rubi Girls.” Pastors Brenda and David Poteat (“For The Bible Tells Me So”) will join the festival for a panel discussion immediately following a screening of “The New Black.” The festival includes a selection of shorts, including several from UNCSA School of Filmmaking alumni. Film times and locations are available online.

The festival will conclude Sunday evening with a celebrity reception and awards ceremony at Jeffrey Adams on Fourth, 321 4th St. N.W. Additionally, on Nov. 14, 11 p.m., there will be a party at Club Snap, 1001 Burke St., and another celebrity reception at The Old Fourth Street Filing Station, 671 W. 4th St., on Nov. 15, 9:30 p.m.

Individual tickets for all screenings are $8, and a limited number of All-Access Festival Passes are available for $60. Individual tickets and festival passes are available online or one hour before showtime at each venue. Or, contact Rex Welton at 336-918-0902 to purchase tickets/passes by phone and/or to find out about partnership opportunities starting at $100.

The festival benefits North Star LGBT Center, OUT at the Movies and OUT @ the Movies Film Fest ’15. info: outatthemovieswinston.org.

— L.M.

news

Campus Scene College opens LGBT center

DAVIDSON — Davidson College’s LGBTQ Resource Library & Lounge held an open house on Oct. 17 as part of its grand opening launch.

Fondly called the Lavendar Lounge, the support facility is housed in the Residence Life Office. Visitors can simply follow the rainbow arrows to enter the Belk Dorm building from the parking lot side. It is open to students, faculty, staff and academic departments and student organizations are able to use the space for meetings and film showings.

With approximately 200 books, films and documentaries, TV shows, health-related resources and educational materials from advocacy organizations, the lounge provides a safe space for the LGBT campus community. Assistant Dean of Students Becca Taylor facilitated the assembly of the materials for the space.

“The resource library includes important and seminal texts on queer theory and queer identity — texts we don’t have elsewhere,” Taylor said in a Davidson College news release.

The project took a year to get off the ground. It was tasked by a Student Government Association task force, along with staff from the office of the Dean of Students and Residence Life.

The school also has the Gay-Straight Alumni Network of Davidson, career development support, curriculum track on gender and sexuality studies, as well as an LGBT advocacy caucus. info: davidson.edu/student-life/multiculturallife/lgbtq-at-davidson. LGBTQ@davidson.edu.

— L.M.

Oct. 24-Nov. 6 . 2014

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Sidelines Halloween Sidelines Sports Bar 4544 South Blvd., Charlotte 7 p.m.

Sidelines hosts a “Gamer’s Paradise” Halloween party. Get your favorite gamer costume and join the bar’s parade of characters. thesidelinesbar.com –––––––––––––––––––– Glitterati Ball The Chop Shop 399 E. 35th St., Charlotte 9 p.m.

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C A L E N DA R OCTOBER-NOVEMBER 2014 To see more upcoming events, visit goqnotes.com/calendar/ Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ BRIEF Fashion Event SEP NOV eXtravaganza 1610 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 7 p.m.

2014 BRIEF Fashion Event will take the runway showcasing the hottest looks in men’s underwear and swimwear from the hottest international designers available at BRIEF! This year’s event will benefit Time Out Youth and Human Rights Campaign. Tickets: $35-$125. eventbrite.com/e/2014-brief-fashionevent-tickets-13259137437

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Held annually on Halloween, the Glitterati Ball is a theatrical costume dance party featuring Charlotte’s best DJs, bands, artists and performers.

Event goers have a chance to take home the $1,500 grand prize for best costume.

Tickets are $10 in advance, $15 at the door. 21+. chopshopnoda.com

Marriage Equality: Now What?

The VanLandingham Estate 2010 The Plaza, Charlotte 6 p.m.

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A legal talk on same-sex marriage in North Carolina presented by Connie J. Vetter, Attorney at Law. Marriage equality has arrived in North Carolina and lots of questions came with it. This presentation will include a discussion of marriage, adoption, recognition of out-ofstate marriages and more. The event is free. For questions or more information, call Connie Vetter at 704-333-4000 or visit CJVLaw.com. Feel free to suggest topics for discussion by using the contact form at CJVLaw.com. If you have a specific legal question, call 704-333-4000 for an appointment. Free.

Ticklin’ Toes SEP NOV Myers Park Baptist Church, 1900 Queens Rd., Charlotte 5 p.m.

Take a trip back to the vaudeville, ragtime fun of the 1910s when the Charlotte Pride Band celebrates life as it was 100 years ago.

Enjoy a classic Sousa march, upbeat show tunes from Gilbert and Sullivan, old American dance music for the cake walk and one-step and more! The concert will be held in Heaton Hall at Myers Park Baptist Church. Individual tickets are $13 or get the family pass for $22.50. charlotteprideband.org

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Submit your event to our calendar!

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Oct. 24-Nov. 6 . 2014

Stonewall Kickball visits Raleigh Halifax Park 1015 Halifax St., Raleigh Noon

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Stonewall Kickball Charlotte visits Raleigh for an All Star Game, featuring match-ups between leagues from Charlotte, Greensboro and Raleigh.

Afterwards, the teams head to Legends for an after-event party. facebook.com/stonewallkickball charlotte –––––––––––––––––––– Charlotte Business Guild Gala Label Charlotte 900 NC Music Factory Blvd., Charlotte 6:30 p.m.

The Charlotte Business Guild hosts its annual gala and awards ceremony, with a cocktail hour beginning at 6:30 p.m., and awards following at 7:30 p.m. Includes hors d’oeuvres, dinner and a cash bar.

Keynote speakers and live entertainment to be announced. Tickets: $35$180. Tables: $530-$655. cltbusinessguild.org/charlotte-business-guild-2014-gala/

Evening of Hope McGlohan Theater at Spirit Square 345 N. College St., Charlotte 7 p.m.

Benefit to raise funds and awareness for the Jeanne White-Ginder Food Pantry at Different Roads Home.

Features live entertainment from the St. Luke Missionary Baptist Choir and Grammy- and Dove-winning Gospel group, The Talley Trio. “Dallas” star Linda Gray will receive the group’s Hope and Inspiration Humanitarian Award.

Tickets: $15-$35. VIP: $125. carolinatix.org

ELECTION DAY!

SEP NOV visit your local precinct and lend your voice to the selection process by casting your vote for the LGBT-friendly candidate of your choice.

Visit our website to learn more about the candidates or read more about some of them on pages 12-13. goqnotes.com/in/election-2014/

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You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a three-for-one entry. All Charlotte-area events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes. com), the LGBT Center (lgbtcharlotte.org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com).

Oct. 24-Nov. 6 . 2014

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