QNotes, November 2, 2018

Nov. 2-15, 2018

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Nov. 2-15, 2018

inside this issue

Nov. 2-15, 2018 Vol 33 No 14

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Torie Dominguez, Kevin Dorman, Jack Kirven, K. Michell Kelling, Lainey Millen, Monica Prata, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Gregg Shapiro, Kyle Thomas Smith, Trinity

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charlotteobserver.com/1166/ a local news partner of The Charlotte Observer

10 Exploring transgender voice training

Thoughts on Compassion

news

Trey Greene shares his perspective on ways to deal with negativity, hate and more and communicate effectively with one another.

6 Village Hearth breaks ground 6 Dance protest raises trans awareness 6 ENC RYE Fellowship 7 History project launched 7 HRC Muncipal Index

a&e 11 15 17

Out in Print They will rock you Tell Trinity

life 8 Transgender Day of Awareness Events, Resources, Clothes Closets 16 Health & Wellness 19 Our People: Jordan Chris

views 4 Writing while gay in the

time of Trump 4 Trans community has our own memo 5 A time to speak 13 Legal Eagles

events 18 18

John Cleese/No Hope Evan + Zane Tour

PAGE 5

It’s all about the voice

Speech pathologist Kevin Dorman discusses the issues and solutions for the transgender community around voice training and learning ways to alter one’s verbal communication sound during transition.

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Nov. 2-15, 2018

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views

Writing while gay in the time of Trump A reflection on harnessing solace when life appears out of control

BY Kyle Thomas Smith | Guest CONTRIBUTor

T

wo women had just kissed each other on the lips and were holding each other tight while in line for a photocopier at Park Slope Copy Center.

“Excuse me,” I said.

They turned, fear flaring in their eyes and anxiety gritting their teeth.

It was the morning after Trump-Pence had won. Both women were still decked out in Hillary swag.

I made a point of being extra showy with my hands and swooshy with my posture, “Is this machine working?”

Their faces and shoulders relaxed. It was clear that I was family. And it was a reasonable question. All the other photocopiers had out-of-order signs on them.

“Yes, it’s working,” said one of the women. She put her hand on my arm, “And how are you coping?”

I tried to keep my voice even, “My husband and I are afraid they’re going to take away our marriage rights.”

Now that I’d actually said it, I burst into tears.

For everyone I know, it’d been that kind of morning.

In New York, the sky was a leaden gray and rain was dripping from it like run-off from a stopped-up tap. My husband Julius had texted from Rockefeller Center to say the subway had been a morgue all the way up to work.

My sister had called from her office in downtown Chicago saying she’d expected that at least a few people on her suburban commuter train might be celebrating, but all she saw were haunted faces and, when she got off at Union Station, all anyone could hear were the squeaking of rubber soles across the concourse’s marble floors.

I’d been up since the middle of the night, answering texts and emails from friends, telling them, no, they’re not dreaming and, yes, this is a nightmare, one we’ll most likely be living through for another four to eight years.

“All the nightmares came today/And it looks as though they’re here to stay”: David Bowie had died in early January of that terrible year, and these lyrics of his kept playing on

Photo Credit: Sergey Nivens via Adobe Stock heavy rotation through my mind. How I envied that he’d been spared the sight of the emerging dystopia his songs had so often warned us about.

As I stood in line for the photocopier, another email came: this one from a literary journal that was going to be publishing an essay I’d written about how Walt Whitman’s anguish in Calamus had mirrored my own when I’d first read it over two decades ago. The essay concluded on a hopeful note about how times have changed and society has become more accepting. Now the journal was emailing to tell me that they were pulling my essay as my conclusion would likely prove untenable in the coming administration.

There’s not much we can do about the vagaries of chance, and there wasn’t a thing I could do about how others had chosen to vote in what Andrew Sullivan had cautioned would be “an extinction-level event.”

Yet I knew there was at least one thing I could still do...

I could write.

And so I walked down the street to Konditori, ordered a large iced coffee and water, opened up my notebook at the communal table and wrote without stopping or editing, just like I’ve done every day in cafes for over 20 years.

Actually, before I’d started this writing session, I’d noticed a guy at the coffee bar who seemed to be glaring at me. This had never happened to me before at Konditori.

Yet as I looked up two or three times, his eyes seemed to only grow narrower and meaner. This is the new reality, I thought, for those of us who can’t exactly “pass.” Like his buddy Putin, Trump had given bigots of all stripes full permission to treat the Other with contempt. I continued writing and venting my spleen — about the election results, about my fears of the future, about my antagonist across the room.

A lot of my writer friends would soon be writing about incidents like this.

The following weekend, for example, my friend Jill and her girlfriend were holding hands on their way from MOMA to Korea Town when a man swaggered up to them, stabbed his finger at their intertwined hands and said, “That shit ain’t gonna be happenin’ no more.”

A mutual friend wrote a post about a similar event that happened to a college buddy in Oakland, who is married to an African-American woman. A few days after the election, the friend and his wife were holding hands as they walked home from dinner. A young white guy walked by and taunted them, “Ha ha! We won!”

Since the election, the Trevor Project has experienced their highest surge of calls to their crisis line for LGBT+ youth in its 20-year history. Murders of LGBT+ people in the U.S. went up 86 percent between 2016 and 2017. The president gives full-throated passes to White Supremacists (“very fine people”). The White House has see Writing on 9

The trans community has our own memo — here it is Commentary: Surviving in challenging times

BY Monica Prata | Guest CONTRIBUTor

O

n October 21, 2018, The New York Times reported that a memo had been circulated in the Department of Health and Human Services seeking to amend a law which protects against gender-based discrimination in any government-funded educational program. Part of this memo argued in favor of a legal definition of sex, with the Times citing a quote from the memo, reading “Sex means a person’s status as male or female based on immutable biological traits identifiable by or before birth.” If such a statement would appear in just one of our nation’s laws — or even in one of their amendments — the floodgates of legalized discrimination for the transgender, intergender and gender queer communities would open, with unimaginable consequences.

When someone comes out and begins the journey to their authentic gender, there are many milestones and turning points. A necessary step in transition is when a transgender person holds their new state ID in their hands after having their gender legally changed. It is a tangible and physical reminder that they belong to a society whose government protects them, and whose law enforcement officers look out for them. ID cards can be felt, held in a person’s hands and shown to friends. School IDs, state IDs, passports and birth certificates are among a person’s most important documents; they validate and verify identity.

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Nov. 2-15, 2018

For many transgender individuals that simple letter “F” or “M” is something they have spent years of their lives in conflict with; being discriminated against, invalidated and excluded based on a solitary character on a piece of plastic. The significance we give to the concept of gender and what it means is something to discuss, but that’s a different conversation for a different day. Today, we have transgender people fighting for a basic right, the right to be seen and the right to be recognized as who they know themselves to be.

Ignoring the existence of transgender individuals goes against an unbroken line of court decisions in this country. With the proposed policy the administration reveals yet again that it does not care about science and will ignore it when convenient. Members of the transgender community pay taxes, serve on jury duty, vote and are required to abide by the law just like any other citizen of the United States. However, under a Trump administration, they would be barred from correctly identifying themselves to the government that profits from their tax dollars, and whose laws are supposed to, but do not currently, protect them.

Many people carry the supposition that protecting transgender children who attend public high schools and middle schools is negligible because it could “just be a

phase.” The age of transition, however, is getting younger and younger. More and more high school and collegeaged clients are seeking the help of NouveauShe, which offers services to help transgender women through social and medical aspects of transition. More parents and students are reaching out in order to garner support for those who are questioning their gender identity. During the past five years alone, NouveauShe has seen the average age of its advisees drop from mid-50s to late-30s.

It appears that the moment the transgender and nonconforming community experiences a brief moment of relief, finally receiving some (not even all) of their much deserved rights as citizens, our administration picks at the scab, inflicting more pain, anxiety and frustration on an already marginalized population. The bottom line is that many transgender people die by suicide, many of which are adolescents. We must remember that this memo was circulated about a law that would directly affect educational institutions, which means that it would directly affect our children. For every trangender boy or transgender girl who is allowed to use the bathroom of their gender, or who is allowed to change in the locker room of their choice, there is another who is required see Trans Survival on 9

A time to speak

Thoughts on compassion from a trans masculine person & fellow human being

BY Trey Greene, MSW, LCSWA | GUEST CONTRIBUTOR

“Compassion is the wish to see others free from suffering.”

I

want to honor the lives destroyed because of hatred. I am watching grief-stricken as we become more divided and are less able to hear each other’s stories. I had the thought of doing this piece to honor a transgender woman who passed last week, only to hear of a second person this week who is now lost to us. And then I kept thinking that there are too many people suffering, too many names to list.

Each time I hear of a suicide, I am reminded of how close I came myself to no longer being here. I lived in isolation and silence, to the point of selective mutism, for years in trying to overcome my shame about living with being incorrectly assigned female at birth. There were months and years of numbing the pain just so I could delay my thoughts of taking my own life. I grew up in a Southern Baptist church where I was taught that who I am is an abomination. It took me many years in mental agony to realize this was wrong, that I am this person for a reason.

For me, my transition at 28 was also my moment to start speaking, to start sharing my experience so others would feel safer in sharing theirs, so there is, hopefully, more peace and connection for all people.

Now Is the time for us to speak up for those who are struggling with being seen as “other,” or at least to take a moment to listen to their stories. Forty-one percent of transgender individuals attempt to take their own lives because of the pain that goes along with that identity living in this world. These numbers only increase as people struggle with other layers of discrimination experienced by people of color, immigrants, survivors of trauma (which is frighteningly common in the trans community), and those who may be practicing faiths such as Islam that are being targeted.

Both research and experience in providing therapy, shows so clearly that positive outcomes increase dramatically if a person has even one supportive person in their life who will put in the time and effort to respect and understand their experience. And if we believe in having compassion, which I sincerely hope most of us still do, then every person has the right to do what it takes, especially when it comes to their own body, to find happiness or even just some sense of peace so long as they are not violating the rights of others.

I am hyper-aware that I live with so much privilege as someone who now passes consistently as a white man.

Transgender women, especially transgender women of color, are arguably one of the most pervasively discriminated against groups around the globe. And there are additional barriers for individuals who may not feel comfortable with identifying as male or female, who exist somewhere else on the spectrum of gender where they fight for recognition that they even exist. I don’t identify as 100 percent male myself. I lived 28 years of my life being

— Dalai Lama

Photo Credit: jpgon via Adobe Stock seen as a woman, socialized as a woman, and that is undoubtably still a large part of my identity. We don’t know all the biological reasons yet why people don’t identify with the gender they were assigned, but there is plenty of evidence showing that this is a biological reality for more people than we even realize.

We all struggle with internalized racism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism and prejudice against every other thing society has told us is less desirable. I believe if we can find a place to acknowledge that and compassionately listen to the experiences of people of all identities, we will find, as I have found in doing therapy with so many in the community, that we are all much more similar than we are different. Our greatest enemy, in my opinion, is the snap judgments we make about others that prevent us from recognizing each other’s humanity. I stand with

those who are fighting on the front lines of the movement for transgender rights, with those who march for #BlackLivesMatter and other movements that recognize this need for change, but also with those who are still fighting day-to-day just to survive.

We are all stronger together. So, I ask humbly for those who don’t support what I’m saying, to consider at least listening to the story of someone with whom you don’t agree. I ask that we all find the strength to resist hate and look at our own blind spots that may be preventing us from coming together. So many lives depend on it. : : Trey Greene, MSW, LCSWA, is the executive director for Transcend Charlotte. To learn more about transgender issues or to obtain assistance, visit the organization at transcendcharlotte.org.

Nov. 2-15, 2018

qnotes

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BRIEFS

news

Power conference slated

Village Hearth Cohousing breaks ground DURHAM, N.C. — Village Hearth Cohousing held their groundbreaking ceremony on Oct. 29 for its new cohousing community, organizers shared.

The project received unanimous recommendation from the city’s planning commission, and approval from the Durham City Council plus the required rezoning and annexation for the community in 2017.

The ceremony took place at the cohousing site, 1000 Infinity Rd., where future residents broke ground on the site of the development.

Featured speakers included city officials, professionals involved in the project, as well as community members.

After the groundbreaking, attendees gathered for refreshments.

Village Hearth is located 20-minutes from downtown Durham. When completed it will become a “lively and supportive 55+ community of gays, lesbians, straight friends, and allies.

Co-founder Pat McAulay said, “It took many of us a lot of time to come out; many LGBTs wind up going back into the closet to safely get the care they need as they age. We want to be able to live comfortably, without having to hide any aspect of ourselves.” Village Hearth is the first LGBTQ-focused ages 55 plus cohousing community in the U.S. Village Hearth has attracted future residents from across North Carolina and from several other states including California, New York, Massachusetts, Virginia, Maine, Kentucky and Texas.

Gary Ross-Reynolds, from Asheville, N.C., shared, “My partner Steve and I joined because we were impressed by the people we will be living among, the prospect of aging in place (…the fact that we are pretty isolated here in Asheville), and by the efficiency of the Village Hearth meetings. We were pleased that the architectural team and consultant hired for this project are nationally recognized for their cohousing expertise.”

The project represents a culmination of more than three years of planning. Village Hearth hired Katie McCamant, CoHousing Solutions and Chuck Durrett, McCamant & Durrett Architects. Other partners shepherding the project include Louis Goetz, Park City Developments; Dan Jewell, Coulter Jewell Thames; and Kim Vrana, Resolute Building Company.

The group will build 28 accessible, single-story, attached, environmentally-friendly homes, clustered on one end of 15 wooded acres, creating a pedestrian-friendly village for residents. Floor plans include one- and two-bedroom homes, ranging from 650 to 1,150 square feet, each with a fully equipped kitchen, living, and dining area in a vaulted ceiling great room. The development also includes a centrallylocated clubhouse and other shared amenities. Construction is expected to begin in November with an anticipated move-in date in late 2019. Twenty-four of the 28 homes are already spoken for. info: villagehearthcohousing.com. cohousing.org. photo: architectural rendering of property.

— Lainey Millen

Dance protest raises trans awareness CHARLESTON, S.C. — Over 100 Charleston Area Transgender Support and local queer and transgender activists, along with WERK for Peace founder Firas Nasr who came into the public eye for staging a dance party protest outside Mike Pence’s home after the 2017 inauguration, held a demonstration through the streets of Charleston on Oct.18.

The “dance party” protest started at the Stern Center Gardens at the College of Charleston and paraded through the streets to Ann St., where Kendra Martinez was brutally assaulted. The dancers were clad in rainbow paraphernalia and danced to loud music through the streets.

The demonstration sought to center and celebrate queer and transgender individuals in the coastal city and to send a message to policy makers and lay people that bigotry and hate would not be tolerated.

“Anti-transgender and queer motivated violence in the city of Charleston has resulted in numerous attacks on the queer and trans community,” organizers said. On Aug. 19, Kendra Martinez, a Latinx transgender woman of color, was violently assaulted on Ann St. Then on Sept. 20, the Closet Case Thrift Store was vandalized by someone throwing bricks as they yelled, “I’m sick of all the gay shit.” Closet Case is an LGBTQ-run social enterprise that benefits the youth-focused We Are Family.

The “organic” protest followed a workshop led by Nasr on planning dance party protests, We Are Family Executive Director Melissa Moore shared. The event was co-sponsored by the organization as part of their annual Spirit Day event. info: waf.org. glaad.org/spiritday. photo: screenshot from Channel 5 coverage.

— Lainey Millen

ENC RYE Fellowship announces first recipients RALEIGH, N.C. — Equality North Carolina (ENC) has announced their selection of eight LGBTQ youth from across the state to participate in the foundation’s inaugural Rural Youth Empowerment (RYE) Fellowship. The fellowship is a one-year leadership program designed to equip young LGBTQ individuals (aged 18-28) from rural North Carolina to create positive change in their local communities, the organization said.

The RYE Fellows will tackle a diverse range of projects, from addressing unique healthcare needs of transgender North Carolinians to creating space for LGBTQ youth of color to form community. The fellows will also engage in leadership development opportunities throughout the course of the coming year. Only one of the eight participants has not agreed to share their name publicly due to personal safety concerns. Fellowship recipients are: Andrian Parra, Asheville; Ashleigh Jackson, Hendersonville; Elle Green, Boone; Kaylie Neese, Level Cross; Levi Grayson Stubblefield, Triad; Maurice Jamell Carter (“Karter J”), Greenville; and Sterling Bentley, Durham. (More information will be made available online on each person and their missions.

“Equality NC knows that rural LGBTQ North Carolinians often lack resources and support to effect much-needed change in their communities ,” said Kendra R. Johnson, ENC executive director. “We are excited to work with these young leaders; to help them build their toolkits to create change and develop resources for rural communities based on needs they identify through their lived experiences. We hope that this fellowship will be a new step towards transforming the climate of rural North Carolina through solidarity and support of young leaders.” Bank of America has lent its financial support to the fellowship. ENC will partner with the Center for Creative Leadership (CCL), a Greensboro-based global authority on evidence-based leadership programs, to offer ongoing support and training for fellows.

More information about the fellowship is available online info: equalityncfoundation.org/rye.

— Lainey Millen

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Nov. 2-15, 2018

NC AIDS Action Network will hold its annual advocacy conference, “Building Power Across the Spectrum 2018,” on Nov. 17 the Duke School of Nursing, 307 Tent Dr., in Durham, N.C. Registration is available online at bit.ly/2yAKwe0.

info: ncaan.org.

GGF Berlin apps available

The Guilford Green Foundation has announced that the Pearl Berlin Scholarship applications are now ready for use. The fund will award its inaugural scholarships in the Spring of 2019 to graduating seniors who have demonstrated leadership in the LGBTQ community.

info: guilfordgreenfoundation.org.

Queens get tattooed

MTV’s “How Far is Tattoo Far?” aired an episode on Oct. 25 featuring two drag queen sisters who had harsh tattoos embellished on each other’s bodies while blindfolded with opaque glasses.

info: mtv.com/shows/how-far-is-tattoofar.

AFFA published trans guide

The Alliance for Full Acceptance has published a transgender action guide in response to the proposed erasure of a transgender preference by the Trump administration.

info: affa-sc.org.

Golfer shares coming out story

Blue Ridge Community College student Ben Palmer told his story in a feature with Out Sports about how he came out to his classmates in high school in Hendersonville, N.C. While sitting around the lunch table, he divulged that when asked when he was going to come out, he replied with no hesitation, “I guess right now.” Palmer played golf in high school which was considered a gay sport among many at his school.

info: bit.ly/2D9IJjN.

Jupiter looks trans in NASA photo

A photo released by NASA in October showcased colors mimicking the transgender Pride flag and has created social media buzz across the globe, GayVA reported.

It seems that the Astronomy Picture of the Day had Twitch streamer Ashley Nova tweeting that Jupiter was transgender.

info: apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap181016. html. gayva.com.

Series tells teen stories

A new docuseries, “Room to Grow,” premiered as part of National Coming Out Day. Produced by Revry Original, the series chronicles the lives of LGBTQ teens and families across the U.S.

info: moreroomtogrow.org.

CDC approves Gardasil for adults

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration in early October announced approved expanded use of the HPV Gardasil 9 vaccine for adults in the 27-45 age group.

info: bit.ly/2zVRxa9.

Sex reassignment surgery to hit milestone

According to a Global Market Sights, Inc. research study, the worldwide sex reassignment surgery market is poised to surpass $968 million by 2024. Those opting for surgery globally is on the rise, especially in the U.S. Over the last decade, increases were nearly fourfold.

info: gminsights.com/request-sample/ detail/2926.

Charlotte Pride launches history project

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Charlotte Pride has launched a new intergenerational project to document local LGBTQ and Pride history, in partnership with the University of North Carolina at Charlotte (UNCC), the organization shared. The new project will pair youth, ages 13-22, with senior members of the LGBTQ community ages 55-plus, using micro oral histories as a medium for chronicling local history and connecting LGBTQ young people with their community’s elders.

The project will recruit and train high school- and college-aged young adults on the ins-and-outs of performing an oral history interview, organizers added. Young individuals will be matched with senior LGBTQ community members, who will have the opportunity to share their personal stories and experiences in Charlotte. Seniors will also have the opportunity to contribute photographs, documents and other memorabilia to the project. The final culmination of the project includes an online exhibit with audio of the oral histories and galleries of digitized memorabilia, as well as a panel discussion featuring young people and community elders.

The project is presented by Charlotte Pride, working in tandem with the staff of UNCC’s J. Murray Atkins Library Special Collections, which houses the King-HenryBrockington LGBTQ Community Archive. The project is funded in part by the Charlotte Lesbian & Gay Fund. Oral histories, documents, photographs and other items collected during the project will be featured in the online exhibit, a traveling exhibit and also preserved in perpetuity at the Atkins Library.

Those interested in participating in this project are encouraged to fill out this interest form online at charlottepride.org/history/. Once completed, Charlotte Pride staff will follow-up with interested parties and connect them with next steps. info: charlottepride.org. photo: screenshot from Charlotte Pride website.

— Lainey Millen

HRC index scores municipalities WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Human Rights Campaign has released it 2018 Municipal Equality Index and the Carolinas has been included.

The nationwide evaluation of municipal law honed in on 10 cities in North Carolina (Carrboro, Cary, Chapel Hill, Charlotte, Durham, Fayetteville, Greensboro, Raleigh, Wilmington and Winston-Salem) and eight cities in South Carolina (Charleston, Clemson, Columbia, Greenville, Mount Pleasant, Myrtle Beach, North Charleston and Rock Hill) were scored in five areas.

Those are non-discrimination laws, municipality as an employer, municipal services, law enforcement and relationship with the LGBTQ community.

Cities are rated on a scale of 0-100, with 100 standard points and 22 bonus points as part of the process. Bonus points are awarded for items which apply to some but not all cities. Scores do not include quality of life consideration.

Cities are sent compiled scorecards for review and feedback prior to publication.

Scores are (standard score/bonus points/final score): North Carolina — Carrboro, 58/12/70; Cary, 0/0/0; Chapel Hill, 56/16/72); Charlotte, 57/7/64; Durham, 60/7/67; Fayetteville, 17/0/17; Greensboro, 64/15/79; Raleigh, 45/7/52; Wilmington, 15/0/15; and Winston-Salem, 45/7/52; South Carolina — Charleston, 70/2/72; Clemson, 0/0/0; Columbia, 71/0/71; Greenville, 20/0/20; Mount Pleasant, 12/0/12; Myrtle Beach, 21/0/21; North Charleston, 31/2/33; and Rock Hill, 17/0/17.

Nationally, 78 municipalities earned perfect scores, USA Today reported, but none were from the Carolinas.

Full scorecards are available online. info: hrc.org/mei. bit.ly/2OZAux9.

— Lainey Millen

Nov. 2-15, 2018

qnotes

7

life

Transgender Awareness A Time to Reflect on Those Lost and to Seek Out Resources

by Lainey Millen | qnotes Staff Writer

TDOR Events

Candlelight vigils and supportive options traverse the Carolinas

I

t’s been a painful and challenging year under the Trump administration and it seems that there is an overwhelming desire to nullify the transgender community

by Right-Wing Conservatives.

With that in mind, it has never been more crucial to stand up for the transgender community and show support, especially when it comes to remembering those whose lives have been cut short by violence.

Here are some Carolinas events where LGBTQ and allied individuals can come together to show respect to those lost.

North Carolina Asheville Nov. 20 Pritchard Park 4 College St., Asheville 6 p.m.

Meet at 5 p.m. at the U.S. Cellar Center, 87 Haywood St., to march to Pritchard Park, where community members will take turns reading the names of those lost this year, and will light candles. Warm beverages will be provided. A support group to take place after the event. bit.ly/2AuaJMs. Charlotte Nov. 20 Time Out Youth Center 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte 6:30 p.m.

Time Out Youth Center is hosting a community led Transgender Day of Remembrance in collaboration with transgender-focused organizations, local non-profits and support networks across the region. Join the transgender, non-binary, genderqueer, agender, demi-gender and gender non-conforming community to honor transgender lives which have been lost to anti-transgender violence. Artistic expression, personal restoration and recognition will be given space on behalf of those lost.

Dinner will be provided. All are welcome. timeoutyouth.org.

Raleigh

Nov. 20 North Carolina State Capitol 1 E. Edonton St., Raleigh 6 p.m.

The LGBT Center of Raleigh is host-

qnotes

South Carolina Charleston Nov. 15 Unitarian Church in Charleston 4 Archdale St. 7 p.m.

Charleston Transgender Day of Remembrance hosts its remembrance of South Carolinians Sasha Wall, Cathalina Christina James, and Regina Denise Brown and others who lost their lives over the past year. bit.ly/2EQ5ZFh. Columbia Nov. 20 Washington Street United Methodist Church 1401 Washington St., Columbia 6:30 p.m.

A memorial for all known transgender individuals who have been a victim of violent crime in the past 12 months. bit.ly/2z3Ia6Q. Editor’s Note: Know of an event we missed?

Send an email to editor@goqnotes.com to let us know so we can add it to the online version of this article.

Support Groups Carolinas options help to make transgender life easier

B

eing able to receive support is essential in today’s world where the LGBTQ community is being battered by a staunch Conservative agenda. No other group is in need of support more than those who are transgender.

Listed below are samplings of groups available in the Carolinas.

North Carolina Charlotte

Nov. 19 North Carolina State University Campus Talley Student Union, Room 3285 5 p.m.

The GLBT Center will host a candlelight vigil as participants read the names and stories of those lost, along with a reflection on the intersecting violence of transphobia, racism, classism, xenophobia, ableism, and other forms of oppression. bit.ly/2OT5QWc.

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ing a candlelight vigil at the south side of North Carolina State Capitol building on E. Morgan St., with a reception following at the center, 324 S. Harrington St. lgbtcenterofraleigh.com.

Nov. 2-15, 2018

Transcend Charlotte 3800 Monroe Rd. Transcend Charlotte creates a safe, trauma-free space for transgender and LGBQ adults. It provides therapy and referral services, a clothing closet, as well as holds support group sessions. transcendcharlotte.org.

Triad Trans Support Group North Star LGBTQ Community Center 930 Burke St. A private, bi-weekly group that is open only to those who identify as transgender

in a supportive setting outside the center. northstarlgbtcc.com/trans-support-group/.

Triangle Durham Gender Alliance Private group for Triangle-area genderdiverse individuals, their significant others, family members, friends and allies. groups.yahoo.com/group/durhamgender alliance/.

Transgender Initiative LGBT Center of Raleigh 324 S. Harrington St. The Transgender Initiative is built around the idea of creating a communal, safe place for individuals from all across the gender spectrum, along with their allies and families, to meet, gather and provide a supportive and welcoming social environment. lgbtcenterofraleigh.com.

Western Phoenix Transgender Support Phoenix Transgender Support is an empowerment group located in Asheville, N.C. that offers a safe and non-judgmental space for interaction. phoenixtgs.weebly.com.

Statewide Carolina Transgender Society Carolina Transgender Society provides attendees with a private, secure location to meet informally at mainstream locations for people that want to dress in a gender different than their biological one. carolinatransgendersociety.com.

NCHRC and Trans Health North Carolina Harm Reduction Coalition’s transgender support groups meet in Carrboro, Fayetteville and Burlington. NCHRC also facilitates a peer-education network on safer hormone use and provides referrals to transgender healthcare. NCHRC also trains medical, housing and other providers on how to make their services more accessible to transgender and gender-nonconforming individuals. nchrc.org/harm-reduction/trans-genderservices/.

North Carolina Transgender Unity Provides information and resources for transgender individuals and their friends, as well as significant other. geocities.ws/nctgunity/.

South Carolina Charleston Area Transgender Support Charleston Area Transgender Support offers a place where all members of the transgender community can gather to assist and support each other on each person’s respective journey. chasareatsupport.org.

Gender Benders Gender Benders is a grassroots organization for transgender and gender diverse

individuals in the Southeastern U.S. It is based in Upstate, S.C. and has chapters and partner organizations in Hattiesburg, Miss., Clemson, S.C., and Hendersonville, N.C. genderbenders.org.

(M)idlands (A)rea (T)ransgender (S)upport Harriet Hancock Center 1108 Woodrow St. The Midlands Area Transgender Support of Columbia SC provides various facilitated support groups in a friendly and supportive environment. harriethancockcenter.org/trans.

Clothes Closets

Gender-affirming attire available for transgender community

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ransitioning from one gender to another for transgender individuals comes with some challenges. One such “problem” might be establishing a completely new wardrobe. Costs may be prohibitive, and feeling comfortable trying on or shopping for clothes can be awkward.

Across the Carolinas, transgender groups have created clothes closets that are filled with gently worn items. Shoppers can easily select items in a non-judgmental environment.

Here are some “stores” available to help make the process easier. (By the way, they are always in need of inventory, so contact them to gift items.)

North Carolina Charlotte TransCloset Transcend Charlotte 3800 Monroe Rd. Free clothing service for transgenderidentified individuals and anyone struggling with issues related to gender expression. By appointment only. transcendcharlotte.org.

Durham Trans & GNC Closet LGBTQ Center of Durham 114 Hunt St. A safe place to grab some clothing on the third Saturday of each month. gbtqcenterofdurham.org.

Winston-Salem Trans Clothing Closet North Star LGBTQ Center 930 Burke St. The Trans Clothing Closet is available by appointment at The Shalom Project at Green Street United Methodist Church, 639 S. Green St. North Star volunteers will accompany shoppers if requested. northstarlgbtcc.com/trans-clothing-closet.

Writing

Trans Survival

continued from page 4 squarely backed every discriminatory measure brought before SCOTUS — against Muslims (travel ban), AfricanAmericans (Ohio voter purge), gays (Masterpiece Cake Shop) and women (we know the next abortion case is on its way, along with family separation).

Anyone who’d been paying any attention at all before the election knew this and so much more would be coming.

The week after Trump won, I spoke with a diverse group of writers — Muslim, Jewish, queer, Latino, AfricanAmerican — at Queens College about what was at stake for us now. Trump had already called for libel laws to be tightened so he could take his detractors to court. Would the First Amendment be amended? Would our government suppress dissident voices as aggressively as, say, the Chinese government? And how many of us would continue to write and publish regardless?

I couldn’t raise my hand with complete confidence. Let’s face it, I’m no Che Guevara. I’m not even foremost a political writer. Right when the election was called, in fact, I panicked and started deleting some of my more recent Trumplampooning posts from my Facebook wall, lest I end up in a prison camp. In New Age circles, I’m what’s known as an “empath,” a highly sensitive person who can only take so much.

Why couldn’t I rise so readily to the occasion like my fellow writers at the roundtable?

And that’s when it hit me: Some of us need to burrow deep inside before we can rise up.

Two years after the election, I still have to repair to my notebooks for one or two or more hours each day (in addition to maintaining a robust meditation practice) in order to overcome my fear and trembling. It’s only by doing this that I become empowered to send out petitions, write op-eds, volunteer for social service and political campaigns, give supplies and money to the homeless, stand up to injustice on the street and in the political sphere. Now more than

continued from page 4 ever I’ve seen that even the private act of raging cathartically on the page each day can bring greater focus and clarity to our ideas and help us to evolve more skillful responses to the challenges our society will encounter in these times. (When I wrote that last sentence, autocorrect changed “society” to “Soviet.”)

After writing nonstop for an hour and a half at Konditori on the day after the election, I felt calmed, centered, equanimous. I pulled out my phone and made donations to the ACLU, the Trevor Project and my Buddhist center. I also finally got around to completing that volunteer application to tutor immigrants and refugees in English as a Second Language.

Glaring Guy was still seated at the cafe bar. I kept a steely mien and firm stride as I passed him on my way in to the restroom.

When I was done, I pushed open the door and heard, “Ow!” I’d hit someone in the head.

It was Glaring Guy. Reflexively, I said, “Oh my God! Are you okay?”

He rubbed his forehead, “I’m fine.”

I said, “I’m so sorry.”

He said, “No, no. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have stood so close to the door.” He smiled, waved to me and went in.

It turns out he hadn’t been glaring at me at all. I know. We’ve talked a number of times since that day. His name is Brian and he’s a program director for a humanrights organization in Midtown.

As both I and the women at the copy shop learned, we must remain alert but also keep in mind that not everyone’s our enemy. Writing brings me to a place where I can come to such a conclusion — even in the current administration. : :

to use the locker room of the opposite gender, and change clothing in front of a crowd that bullies them and inflicts physical and emotional harm on them.

Having a legal definition of sex and gender would lead to the latter, causing an end to gender-neutral restrooms in our schools, an end to locker room and dormitory choice and an increase of bullying. This administration is turning its back on a community that seems to get bigger and younger by the minute, not by the year or decade.

The Times also stated that “any dispute about a person’s gender would have to be clarified by genetic testing.” Before I start to debate gender, I would like to say that there have been multitudes of governments before that have forced a certain population to undergo scientific tests and experiments — most, if not all, of these governments have faded into the sands of time due to their abhorrent human rights violations. No government has the right to subject its citizens to a biological test without their consent.

Furthermore, there are many instances in the past where gender and sex has been tampered with, or decided upon, by an assumedly “more knowledgeable” third party. Hospitals used to require a certain penis length before designating an “M” next to gender on a birth certificate. John T. Money was the famous experimental doctor who so crudely stated, “for plastic surgeons, it’s easier to dig a

hole than build a pole.” Many children with XY chromosomes whose genitalia was underdeveloped were horribly mutilated under his medical supervision.

To this day, there are survivors of John Money’s malicious practices, who had someone else decide not only how they must identify, but how their body must look. We must return to the simple fact that if you leave genitalia alone, disregard a child’s chromosomes and allow an individual to develop without arbitrary societal restriction, they will eventually be able to tell you themselves the gender to which they belong.

For some reason, the following statement is always regarded as incredibly profound, but I think it remains rather simple: the best society is a society that provides as many paths as possible for as many different communities to flourish. It has been shown time and time again, medically, psychologically and sociologically, that the best and healthiest way for a transgender individual to flourish is to be allowed to exist in their stated gender. Why not open the floodgates in the other direction? Why not allow a community to legally define themselves, instead of posing a constricting definition upon them? : : Monica Prata is a feminine image consultant for those who are transgender, transitioning or exploring gender fluidity. She is a transgender rights activist, as well as the founder and CEO of NouveauShe.

Kyle Thomas Smith is the author of the multi-award-winning novel, “85A.” He lives in Brooklyn and San Francisco with his husband Julius and his cats, Giuseppe and Giacomo. His cross-genre memoir, “Cockloft: Scenes from a Gay Marriage,” was released on Sept. 17, 2018.

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life

Exploring transgender voice training Learning ways to alter one’s verbal communication sound

BY Kevin Dorman | Guest CONTRIBUTor

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ommunication is a powerful tool.

Voices can be instruments of empowerment as one makes their needs known. Using our voices and body language, we can advocate for ourselves, share joy and inspire others. But for many, particularly those in the transgender community, one’s voice and body can be sources of extreme discomfort or dysphoria. This unhappiness can lead to the loss of trans voices as they are silenced by a lack of comfort with their instruments and/or negative feedback from others. For those whose voices and body language negatively impact their quality of life, there is a method of exploring one’s voice in a healthy and efficient manner: transgender vocal training. This aspect of transition can be obtained from a number of professionals, most notably speech-language pathologists and vocal coaches.

Transgender vocal training can be either an alternative or a supplement to more common methods of transition, such as hormone therapy and various gender confirmation surgeries. In this work, clients are encouraged to examine the areas of their voice and communication with which they are unsatisfied, as well as identify aspects with which they are satisfied and want to further explore.

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The ultimate goals are to help the client gain comfort with their voice, to explore areas of their voice they are less confident in experimenting with independently and to retrain muscle memory so as to easily access this different area of their voice. This is accomplished through homework and regular guided practice sessions with the instructor to aid the client in finding a voice that represents them well.

Additionally, where hormones can irreversibly alter one’s body, transgender vocal training is flexible in its permanency and is completely reversible. Thus, it can be an accessible alternative for exploring gender presentation and expression for those early on in their transition, as well as those who are in transition or post-transition and want to see what their voices are capable of.

Transgender vocal training is also completely customizable based on what the individual client wants. The only mandatory subdomain is vocal hygiene, as making sure one’s voice and lungs are in as healthy condition as possible at

Learning how to form speech for transgender individuals who are transitioning that matches one’s gender preference takes time to develop. Working with a voice training professional can help facilitate the process and provide one with a more successful outcome. (Photo Credit: Ildar Abulkhanov via Adobe Stock) the beginning of the process ultimately eases this exploratory work. Optional areas of focus include pitch, or how high or low one’s voice is; intonation, or how pitch and intensity change throughout a sentence; resonance, which refers to how dark or light the tone of one’s voice is; articulation, meaning how percussively the consonants are produced and for how long the vowels are sustained; language, which refers to one’s word choice and sentence structure; and nonverbals, which refers to aspects of communication not expressed through speech and includes things like posture, movement, engagement and feedback given when communicating, and so much more. As previously mentioned, this is a custom-tailored experience; for instance, if a client isn’t interested in working on nonverbals, it is not targeted.

The duration and cost of this work can vary between differing specialists.

Duration is also dependent upon a clients’

initial vocal flexibility, as well as the intensity of their voice dysphoria and their commitment to completing their homework assignments. The amount of time one can contribute to daily practice impacts outcomes: if a client can keep up with an average of 15 minutes a day of voice work, they will make much quicker progress than a client who practices one night in between sessions.

Those who are interested in learning more about transgender vocal training, should seek out a specialist who is familiar with this work. No one should feel resigned to go through life with a voice they are unsatisfied with when alternatives are possible. : : Kevin Dorman (they/them), a non-binary speech-language pathologist who specializes in long-distance transgender vocal training, is the owner of Prismatic Speech Services, a private practice located in Greensboro, N.C.

a&e

Transgender Children Out in Print

BY terri schlichenmeyer | CONTRIBUTING WRITER “Histories of the Transgender Child”

by Julian Gill-Peterson ©2018, University of Minnesota Press $24.95 You have to start somewhere.

Indeed, few things begin in a vacuum: you need an idea, then experiments and practice to create a masterpiece. Nothing magically just appears. And in the new book “Histories of the Transgender Child” by Julian Gill-Peterson, you’ll see that that’s true, too, about knowledge and change.

The study of endocrinology had a fowl beginning.

In the 18th century, scientists, determined to learn more about what made “male” and “female,” removed the testes from birds, observed a certain amount of feminization, and then transplanted the gonads back into the birds. Alas, because they put the organs in the birds’ stomachs, little was learned; even so, it led them to think about kids and the male-female characteristics children possessed. They began to believe that male-female identification was pliable, and that children didn’t fully become either until they reached a certain age.

By the 20th century, better understandings of human anatomy, psychology and hormones led to new ideas that spurred doctors to take bold steps to help children with genitalia that didn’t fit the norm at birth and didn’t match their sexual identity later.

Those kids underwent treatment that seems invasive, almost horrifying, but that gave at least some relief from the feeling of being bodily trapped.

These operations were supposed to have been kept quiet, but that was impossible. This, says Gill-Peterson, led to an influx of adults who sought American doctors for

“sex change” operations. In the years surrounding World War I, those who were successful in their search told tales of themselves as children, making do with the resources they had, being isolated, yet sometimes enjoying a surprising amount of support from family who let them choose the gender in which they felt comfortable.

In the introduction to this book, author Julian Gill-Peterson indicates that the current narrative paints today’s transgender children somewhat as pioneers. Nothing can be further from the truth, as you’ll see here, eventually.

Maybe.

Maybe — because “Histories of the Transgender Child” is written very much for scholars in concept, with medical jargon and words that will send the most casual reader dictionarybound. Doctors should grasp this book easily; non-medical professionals, conversely, may be tempted to put it aside.

But don’t. Yes, it’s a challenge to read, but it does get easier as actual personal anecdotes become more plentiful. These tales also serve to show how society, shame and social mores affected children and former kids who had few places to turn; it also shows how understanding of transgender individuals grew while attitudes at large worsened. Here is the peek that most casual readers want from this book, one that’s more relatable and more social-history-based; these same angles also bring unsettlement as readers see racism creep into this overall tale and Gill-Peterson explains how doctors often saw patients as mere experimental vessels.

And so don’t ignore this book. Just be aware that it’s scholarly, so it needs more time to develop appreciation. Give yourself that, and “Histories of the Transgender Child” could be a book to start.

“The Trans Generation: How Trans Kids (and Their Parents) are Creating a Gender Revolution”

by Ann Travers ©2018, New York University Press $25.00 Boy or girl?

That’s a common enough question, if you’re an expectant parent. You might’ve even wondered it yourself: will you need pink things or blue, and what name will you choose? For generations, it’s been an exciting decision for prospective parents, but Ann Travers asks in “The Trans Generation” if it’s a prudent one. Maybe letting the child decide would be a better choice.

Fifty-six years ago, when Travers was born, their mother’s doctor unwittingly caused a lifetime of hurt: “It’s a girl,” he said, and Travers spent years trying to “untangle” what it meant. That, they said, is part of what drives this book. The other part is the desire to improve the lives of transgender kids through understanding.

Getting to that point is harrowing: Ninety-five percent of transgender kids on one study felt unsafe in their schools.

Many report that physicians misunderstand kids who are gender-nonconforming. Transgender kids attempt suicide and/ or self-harm at very high rates and, says Travers, “… many grow up hating their bodies…” Most employ several kinds of coping mechanisms to live their lives.

In writing this book, Travers says, they interviewed a wide variety of transgender kids from the U.S. and Canada — 19 in all, ages 4 to 20, plus 23 parents. The children mostly came from middle-class families, which allowed them privileges such as better access to medical care and chances to change schools if they needed to do so.

Other children Travers interviewed lived in poverty, their stories illustrating how being a transgender kid can be socially and medically isolating, and how lack of access to needed resources can affect their well-being.

Parents, of course, can affect that well-being, too, but it takes a “phenomenal amount of care, advocacy, and activism… to push back against cisgendered environments,” schools, sports, binary-only bathrooms, social activities, medical facilities and politics. It takes a willingness to learn, listen and lean in.

Not just for parents, but for teachers, advocates and loved ones, “The Trans Generation” is one heavy-duty book.

Writing with a bit of a scholar’s voice and occasional, relatively advanced, science and law studies, author Ann Travers also offers readers plenty of eye-opening chats with transgender kids, which turn out to be the most helpful, useful and even entertaining parts of this book.

From the mouths of babes, as they say, those interviews give insights that adults will find to be wise and thoughtful, even monumental. They’re also heartbreaking, but considering the kids readers are introduced to, and the singular interview with a 16-year-old who made her own hormone treatments in her high school’s laboratory, they’re a good indication of hope for the future.

While you could be forgiven for skipping to those case studies, you’d be missing out. The thicker parts of “The Trans Generation” are worth reading and reflection and are deeply instructive on pronouns, on gender fluidity, and on being transgender in a cisgender-based society.

They are also serious and weighty, but that kind of rock-solid information could make this book the right choice. : :

Nov. 2-15, 2018

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by Rx Clinic Pharmacy, a comprehensive onsite service of Amity Medical Group

Pharmacists and the LGBTQ+ Community: A Student Perspective

By Savannah Jones and Hui Yi Tee, PharmD Candidates The month of October wore many different masks. It was Halloween, AIDS Awareness Month, Hepatitis Awareness Day (October 1), World Food Day (October 16), American Pharmacists Month. A quick scroll through your Instagram feed may have reminded you of these important events. You might have even recalled some articles from a quick news outlet (Facebook) scroll. Recently, there have been some disheartening stories of pharmacists around the nation denying medications based on their personal views. A quick glance at these headlines might leave pharmacists low on your list of LGBTQ+ advocates, but change begins within conversations. In order to change conversation, we must change language.

Pharmacists are continuously recognized as one of the most accessible healthcare professionals. Along with current leaders in the profession, student pharmacists recognize the need for equality for minority groups in all things spanning from marriage to medical treatment. New generations of pharmacy leaders are taking a stance and challenging antiquated, unacceptable beliefs. It is vital to address any lack of competence with current pharmacists and alter the trajectory of educating future pharmacists to include the unique needs of the LGBTQ+ community when delivering healthcare. Our hope is that pharmacists can use their accessibility to serve as leaders in the community, and work to shift perceptions, change language,

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and provide equitous treatment to patients who are currently underrepresented.

In the spirit of variety and celebration, October brought with it an essence of diversity. During the last year, many professional pharmacy organizations have begun identifying the unmet needs in the LGBTQ+ community. Namely, the American Pharmacists Association (APhA) adopted a new resolution pertaining to the incorporation of LGBTQ+ health needs into the education of student pharmacists and continuing education needs of licensed pharmacists.

This resolution, in particular, was lead by the Academy of Student Pharmacists branch of APhA. Student pharmacists offer unique insight into the changing landscape of patient care needs of the LGBTQ+ community. Below is the proposed resolution from APhA-ASP: Resolution 2018.1 APhA-ASP encourages the advancement of optimal patient care for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Other (LGBTQ) patients through the implementation of the following measures: • Development of continuing education programs with a focus on unique health disparities, specialized pharmacotherapeutic considerations, and advancement of cultural competencies, and; • Inclusion of education on topics related to diverse gender and sexual identities in the curriculum of schools and colleges of pharmacy.1 • With continued recognition and advocacy, the profession of

Photo Credit: pikselstock via Adobe Stock

pharmacy can work to develop a symbiotic relationship that will change community perspectives of the LGBTQ+ community.

“Change happens from the bottom up — all of us as individuals deciding that we will and we do have an impact.” — Hill Harper References 1 Mattingly TJ. APhA adopts actionable policy once again. J Am Pharm Assoc (2003) 2018. doi:10.1016/j.japh.2018.06.007.

views

Transgender legal issues and family law Legal Eagles: How to deal with identity, marriage, parenting and divorce

BY K. Michell Kelling, attorney | guest WRITERs Transgender women and men, and the families who love them, face legal issues unique to them. Simply obtaining the correct legal ID can be more of a challenge.

Important life events, including marriage, becoming a parent or separating from a partner, can have an extra layer of complexity for transgender folks.

Here’s a primer on navigating the laws in North Carolina as a transgender woman or man.

Obergefell vs Hodges in 2015, the right to marriage has been extended to same-sex couples in the United States.

This decision also applies to transgender individuals.

Once married, transgender men and women have the same rights as heterosexual individuals who marry. If you separate from your partner, you can have the usual claims such as alimony and equitable distribution that a heterosexual couple has.

Obtaining an ID Having the correct ID is remarkably important. You may need it to travel outside the United States, to attend a university or even to obtain appropriate medical care.

As you are transitioning, if you decide to take on a new name, you will typically file for a name change at the clerk’s office at your local courthouse. There are various forms to complete, and you must “publish” your new name for a period of time at the courthouse. Once that time has passed, your name has been legally changed and you can change your name on everything else.

The first place you should go is the Social Security office to get a new social security card issued with your new name. Your next stop should be your local DMV for a driver’s license with your new name. After that, you can change your bank accounts, insurance records and passport.

Becoming a parent The law in North Carolina still lags behind other states regarding artificial reproductive rights. It is still presumed that biological parents should have custody of any children who have been born during the marriage even if the non-biological parent has been fully involved in the child’s life.

However, there are ways to protect the non-biological parent. First and most important, if the non-biological parent adopts the child, the parents are then on equal footing and there is no presumption for the biological parent.

If adoption is not an option, the two parents can create a parenting plan. A parenting plan is typically a written, private contract between the two parents which both of them sign. The parenting plan includes both parents’ rights to the child and can also describe their plans for the child in the event the two parents separate.

Even without a parenting plan, non-biological parents can establish themselves as de facto parents by assuming the daily obligations of parenthood. Those responsibilities could include waking the child in the morning, feeding the child meals, getting the child clothed, taking the child to

Getting married Many people still have questions about whether transgender individuals can get married. The answer is yes! Since the United States Supreme Court decision in

qomunity

qonexions

and from school and going to the child’s school events and extracurricular activities.

Separating from your partner To be separated in North Carolina, one party must move out. You cannot force your spouse to move unless you have a court order. Most court orders that remove one spouse from the home stem from a domestic violence incident, in which a “Domestic Violence Protective Order” is entered by the court. Absent that order, one spouse will have to voluntarily move out. Once one party has moved out, either party can file for claims such as alimony and equitable distribution.

You must be separated — living under separate roof — for 365 days before either party can file for divorce. On the 366th day, either party could start divorce proceedings.

It typically takes about eight to 10 weeks for the divorce judgment to be entered once one of the parties has filed for divorce.

It’s important to know your legal rights and protections as a transgender person and a citizen of our nation. We still have a long way to go in the United States to obtain full equality of transgender persons in the workplace and elsewhere, but understanding the basics above will help you or your loved one live the life you desire and deserve. : : Family law attorney K. Michell Kelling with Horack Talley in Charlotte is certified as a family law specialist by the North Carolina State Bar Board of Legal Specialization. Reach her at mkelling@horacktalley.com.

space starting at $22: call qnotes for details 704.531.9988

Nov. 2-15, 2018

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a&e

They will rock you

An interview with ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ stars Rami Malek, Joseph Mazzello and Gwilym Lee

F

BY Gregg Shapiro | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

GL: So many people that we’ve spoken to irst things first, for all of those who have seen the film say that the first concerned about the way that thing they do is go back home and watch Freddie Mercury’s homosexualthe Live Aid footage which I think is great. ity is depicted in the Bryan Singer’s Everyone needs to see it. It’s such an iconic Queen biopic “Bohemian Rhapsody,” and historic moment. We watched it hunyou can relax. From the minute you dred and hundreds of times in preparation first see Mercury, played brilliantly by for the film. I still watch it to this day.

Rami Malek (complete with prosthetic teeth), there is no doubt that the GS: There’s a scene where Freddie plays king of Queen was, in fact, a queen. piano upside down and backwards which Yes, his relationship with “fiancée” made me wonder if each of you plays a Mary Austin (Lucy Boynton) gets a musical instrument. fair amount of screen time. But, so JM: Only upside down. do his same-sex attractions, from RM: I looked at piano and it’s been a mystery being cruised by a trucker outside of to me my whole life. That’s the one thing a men’s room to his relationships with people forget about Freddie. The guy was a manager Paul (Allen Leech) and later virtuoso. Taking piano lessons, it took quite a his lover Jim (Aaron McCusker). while for me to learn how to play “Bohemian Now that that’s settled, it’s safe Rhapsody” or “We Are the Champions.” But to say that, as biopics go, “Bohemian at one point I saw in the script, oh he’s playRhapsody” does a respectable job of ing upside down as well. I felt like, “If you’re both telling Mercury’s story and givgoing to make my story from his point of ing the audience insight into the hisview, I’m going to throw everything at you.” tory of the band itself. The backstory GL: I played a little bit of acoustic guitar, but of “Bohemian Rhapsody” and “We ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ stars (left to right, back row) Gwilym Lee, Joseph Mazzello and Rami Malek nothing to the level of Brian May’s genius.

Will Rock You” are worth the price of with arts writer Gregg Shapiro. (Photo Credit: Gregg Shapiro) We all put in a lot of work. We got grafted admission alone. I had the honor of pretty hard trying to play our instruments. speaking to Malek, as well as Joseph Mazzello and Gwilym Lee (who play GS: Joseph and Gwilym, what were the Queen band members John Deacon film and everyday before going to the set, to pump myself challenges of playing living people, as in the case of and Brian May, respectively) while they were in Miami up I’d listen to “Somebody to Love.” Then it was in college John Deacon and Brian May, respectively? shortly before the movie was due to open in theaters in where I feel like I found a new level of appreciation for JM: It literally never leaves your mind every time you play a November 2018. them and I became a “Greatest Hits” fan. Every new song real person. As an actor, you want to go into any job giving I heard by them was my new favorite song. Doing this it your absolute all and everything. It just feels like there’s Gregg Shapiro: I’d like to begin by getting the obvious movie changed everything. There were songs I didn’t think this extra motivation when you have this intense responquestions out of the way first. Would you each please about too much or seemed like one of their mediocre sibility to the actual person you’re playing. To their family name your favorite Queen song and favorite Queen songs. When you learn how to play it, the intent behind it, and, in this job, to the Queen fan-base, which is massive. album? why they wrote it, how all four of them wrote hits — when We hear from them all the time, they’re so invested in this.

Jospeh Mazzello: “Somebody To Love” is my all-time favoryou get all of that knowledge, it takes on a whole new Every day you walk on set, it doesn’t matter if you’re tired ite, and this is a boring answer, but “A Night at the Opera” meaning to you. I literally walked in the room singing. or what’s going on in your personal life, you always keep is such a masterpiece that, all told, I’d have to say it’s my that in the forefront of your mind and it focuses you in in a favorite album.

GS: Yes, I heard you singing “Somebody To Love.” way you can’t even imagine.

Gwilym Lee: Yeah, probably the same. But I really like RM: That doesn’t get old.

GL: You have to stay on guard. You have to stay on your Queen one, the first album, just because you hear them JM/GL/RM: [all laugh] game. It can be overwhelming, but it forces you to put in working out who they really are. You hear them as a really RM: No, no. We love it. We got this question on set a lot. the hours. young, slightly naïve band that sounds a lot like other We’d be playing a song, take after take, by the end of the RM: I looked forward to knowing when Brian May was gobands of that time because they’re still trying to find their day…I was a production assistant on a music video once ing to come (to the set). It just elevated me. unique sound. There’s a lot of Led Zeppelin influence. But where I was like, “If I ever hear that song again, I’m going there’s something quite pure about it as a rock band. to do bad things”. But that never happens with Queen.

GS: It didn’t make you nervous?

Rami Malek: As an album cover, maybe to flip this a little Collectively we’ve all said this without talking about it. We’ve RM: It could have. But he stepped on the scene and he was bit, I like “News of the World.” been listening to Queen non-stop in a way that some might warm. He was taking pictures of it. There’s such humility think is odd or some might think is totally understandable. and class in the man. He made us feel like it was a priviGS: The robot! lege to have us telling his story.

RM: Yes, the robot, which they’re currently touring with. We GS: That speaks to the power of the music.

JM: He was taking videos on his cellphone of us doing Live watched so much archival footage and to hear them talk RM: It does. Hearing Bowie with Queen and Freddie doing Aid. It was like, “That’s not how this works [laughs]. We’re tryabout “We Will Rock You” and “We Are The Champions” (both those kinds of operatic warm-ups ing to impress you.” It was a cool moment for us. from “News of the World”) as something they always thought that he ended up incorporating about as a pair, and a true audience participation song that into the music was revolutionary GS: What do you think Freddie Mercury would think of features so heavily in the film; I’ve got to pay homage to that. to me. Then you get involved in the “Bohemian Rhapsody?” story behind the making of “Under RM: It’s hard enough emulating him in any way or trying to GS: Yes, there’s that great scene in the studio where Pressure” and how things come fill those shoes. It took me quite a while to come close in we see the genesis of the song. Prior to making about with them. How inspired and this film. To begin to ponder what this man was thinking.

“Bohemian Rhapsody,” where did Queen rank on each spontaneous they were together is Ultimately, I think what the film does really well, it doesn’t of your lists of favorite bands? something I find so fascinating. spend too much time going into the darker places, the ilGL: It’s pretty high up there. Their songs are so universal.

JM: After I was done shooting, I was licit places. We do that just so we can show just how grand You hear them everywhere growing up. Sometimes you like “What songs didn’t we cover? and big his life was. have to remind yourself that they wrote the songs that What songs didn’t I get to know?” they did. I think people are going to watch this film and be That was the rabbit-hole I went GS: Full. shocked to learn, oh, they wrote that one, as well. What’s down. You’re loving so much of it RM: Rich and complex and full. I think celebrating the been lovely about doing this project is going back to the that you want to learn more and magnificence of the man was all we hoped to achieve. I just origins of their songs. Seeing how they evolved and the more and be able to take it in as hope there’s a moment where he’s like, “Well that was colorimagination that it took to come up with such unique songs. a fan of the music rather than having the responsibility of ful and enjoyable. I hope you all had a real good time.”

JM: I made a little student film when I was in high school performing it.

GL: It’s nice to be reminded of him. He was a celebrator of life; and I put “Another One Bites the Dust” at the end of it an incredible individual. It’s nice to remind the world of him. over the credits. It was like “final cut one” or something.

GS: You hope that that’s what a movie like this will do, We need people like Freddie Mercury. : : Then Queen just started popping up for me. I directed a to get people to go and do the research.

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Stress, cortisol and weight gain

Health & Wellness: Why chronic stress can make you fat

BY Jack Kirven | qnotes contributor

Photo Credit: Elnur via Adobe Stock

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If you’ve got your finger on the pulse of health trends, it’s likely you’ve been hearing the current buzzwords “cortisol creates belly fat” and “cortisol causes muscle wasting and fat storage.” These are the type of catch phrases that gain momentum every few years. And although some of the fads and trends showing up seasonally in fitness are myths, this caution about chronically elevated cortisol is true.

Cortisol is also deeply connected with the dangers of chronic inflammation, which I described in another article, “Inflammation Creates Diseases.” (integre8twellness.com/ inflammation-creates-diseases) Like many hormones, cortisol has an effect on a wide variety of functions in the body. Although it’s getting particularly demonized lately, cortisol serves some very important and positive functions in the body. It’s an essential component of the flight or flight response, so it gives us energy, focus, strength, motivation and courage.

But, like with sugar or caffeine, it comes with a crash that feels like an emotional, psychological and physical drain. Cortisol is important for survival, but we didn’t evolve to have high levels of it all the time.

According to hormone.org, cortisol isn’t only a stress hormone: “Because most bodily cells have cortisol receptors, it affects many different functions in the body.

Cortisol can help control blood sugar levels, regulate metabolism, help reduce inflammation and assist with memory formulation. It has a controlling effect on salt and water balance and helps control blood pressure. In women, cortisol also supports the developing fetus during pregnancy. All of these functions make cortisol a crucial hormone to protect overall health and well-being.” (hormone.org/hormones-andhealth/hormones/cortisol) There are many symptoms of chronically elevated cortisol levels. With that said, the way a spike of cortisol gives you a jolt of energy is by raising blood sugar. It does this by way of gluconeogenesis. This literally means “creating new sugar,” and it happens by way of breaking protein down into amino acids that are then turned into sugar by the liver. What is a large source of protein in the body? Yep, muscles. This is what is meant by “cortisol causes muscle loss.” This in turn contributes to muscle weakness. Whereas normal levels of corti-

sol help to regulate blood sugar levels by breaking down only a little muscle (which can be replaced with exercise), excessive levels cause muscle wasting.

Why does cortisol cause fat gain?

Remember those cortisol receptors most cells have? Fat cells have four times as many, so they are particularly responsive to cortisol. Okay, remember all that glucose the cortisol surge dumped into your blood for energy? Well, that also came with an insulin response to get your blood sugar levels back down, and insulin causes energy storage.

And where do you store the energy? Yep, in those hypersensitive fat cells that cortisol just turned on. And what happens when you have too much insulin over time? Yep, diabetes. Also, another reason stress can cause emotional and/or binge eating is because cortisol also fires up your sense of purpose, as well as your appetite. So now stress has made you feel motivated…to eat.

Emotionally and psychologically, chronically high cortisol can exacerbate depression, anxiety, irritability and lack of emotional control. Cortisol triggers a release of tryptophan oxygenase. This enzyme breaks down tryptophan. Tryptophan is required for creating serotonin. Serotonin gives us the ability to feel happiness, and it also affects appetite, sleep and sexual desire. Since extended exposure to high levels of cortisol inhibits the production of serotonin, all the symptoms of low serotonin become problematic (decreased appetite, insomnia, impotence, etc.). In short, prolonged stress causes depression.

Cortisol also plays a role in the circulatory system. It manipulates blood pressure by acting as a diuretic. Excess cortisol causes an electrolyte imbalance, whereby sodium is retained, but potassium is excreted. Let me take you back to your high school biology days: Muscles fire because of the sodium potassium pump. The sodium potassium pump also effects the firing of nerves, including those impulses that cause your heart to beat and your kidneys to take in water for filtration. That sodium potassium pump is important throughout the entire body, across many of its biological functions. Because cortisol increases the concentration of sodium in your body, it has a direct impact on your blood pressee Health & Wellness on 17

a&e

Looking at the bright side Tell Trinity

BY Trinity | CONTRIBUTING WRITER Dear Trinity, I’ve heard people say, “Look at the bright side!” But what could possibly be bright about bullying or gay bashing or AIDS? Yours, Brightless, Seattle, WA Dear Brightless, It’s been said that AIDS was not just a disease but a cure for gay repression, putting gay people on the frontal lobe of human consciousness. The October 2010 “It Gets Better” campaign was the bright light from the darkness of gay teen suicide, which even Obama got involved

with, inevitably saving thousands of lives.

Everything dark eventually sees light. That is the universal truth of life. Remember, sweetie, that which does not make you stronger will make you more creative!

Big hugs, Trinity Hey Trinity, It’s been over seven years since the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” What do you think?

Yours, Do Tell, Las Vegas, NV Hey Do Tell, There once was a time gays fought openly (in tight uniforms) and won wars for dictators, i.e. the “Sacred Band of Thebes,” where in 378 B.C.E. a military band of gay lovers were brought together as a military unit. For many years they lived, fought and were celebrated throughout Greece for their courage and military success. The movie “300” was inspired by that. Hell, all of Sparta was inspired. So, pumpkin, thank God DADT is over. Today any American, even the “fabulous” ones, can fight for our country! (Become one of the Band of Brothers and serve your country with dignity and grace as shown in my cartoon. Remember to march to the beat of your own drum while doing cadence drills, sweetie, and make sure that your uniform is ever-so neatly pressed.)

Dearest Trinity, I just met this very sweet and a loving person who is already talking about getting married. I’ve only known him a few weeks and really don’t know how to deal with this.

Help! Married Too Soon, Lincoln, NE Dearest Too Soon, It seems like sweet and loving people always bring up marriage somewhere around the second date or the second martini. These lovely, ethereal beings often forget that spraying their fantasies over a newly planted crop can often destroy what has not yet had time to blossom! Be kind, loving and honest while telling them to “wake up,” I mean “Wait a while, honey!”

Good luck, Trinity Hello Trinity, I’ve been going out with the same person for three years, but lately everything’s turned weird! We fight, we don’t sleep together, and I think we’re becoming alcoholics. How do you know when your relationship has become dysfunctional?

Thanks, Confused, Minneapolis, MN Hello Confused, There comes a time or many times in a relationship where two (or more) people sit down and kill each other…I mean talk to each other about the “weird stuff!” So, baby, try reading:

Trinity’s Relationship Tips For Knowing When (ITD), “It’s Turned Dysfunctional”

1. When your live-in girlfriend hasn’t been home in weeks for more than a change of clothes and/or to leave the rent, ITD! 2. When he refuses to talk to any of your friends, family, coworkers or your cat then ITD! 3. When she starts bragging about having sex with your best friend, ITD! 4. When he beats you, only now and then, when he’s drunk and only when he doesn’t have beer money…ITD! 5. When looking at your girlfriend makes you sick and being touched by her leaves you running to your therapist, ITD! 6. When you both sleep in separate bedrooms, have separate entrances and haven’t spent a Saturday night together in six months, guess what.

7. When he’s stops telling people he’s married to you, guess what again.

8. When she steals your TV and credit cards and she’s “wanted” in two states but you “still love her,” wake up, darling, because ITD! 9. When he closes all joint bank accounts, moves out and files for divorce, then not only has ITD but it’s very over!

10. A nd lastly, when your wife has another child that looks nothing like you, I hate to break the news to you, but ITD, at least in this book!

With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com. Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

Health & Wellness continued from page 16

sure. Remember why excess salt can cause high blood pressure? Because it contains sodium. For all these reasons and more, chronically elevated cortisol also causes muscle weakness (ironic, since short bursts of it temporarily increase strength).

Cortisol has other effects on minerals.

According to the Hindawi Journal of Sports Medicine, “Cortisol triggers bone mineral resorption (removal) in order to free amino acids for use as an energy source through gluconeogenesis. Cortisol indirectly acts on bone by blocking calcium absorption, which decreases bone cell growth.” (hindawi.com/ journals/jsm/2013/896821) As you can see, excess cortisol causes osteoporosis. It also exacerbates other bone mineral density diseases, which means cortisol can leave you literally brittle with stress.

Practically anything can become a stressor in the right conditions, and fight or flight is our only biological response to stress. Some triggers of stress include conflict, worry, alcohol and drug consumption, processed foods, excess exercise (especially prolonged and repeated sessions of low-level steady-state cardio training), sleep deprivation, thirst and hunger. As much as possible, protect yourself from stress with rest, relaxation, meditation, play time and healthy foods full of antioxidants, which reduce inflammation and thus the risks for practically all diseases. : : Jack Kirven completed the MFA in Dance at UCLA, and earned certification as a personal trainer through NASM. His wellness philosophy is founded upon integrated lifestyles as opposed to isolated workouts. Visit him at jackkirven.com and INTEGRE8Twellness.com.

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events Reynold’s book. Student discounts are available but must be applied for in advance. humanities.unc.edu/event/thechildren-of-harvey-milk.

November 9 Bob Dylan in Concert November 2-11 ‘The Philadelphia Story’

Theatre Charlotte 501 Queens Rd., Charlotte 7:30 p.m. Wednesday-Thursday, 8 p.m. Friday-Saturday, 2:30 p.m.

Sunday Wealthy, headstrong Tracy Lord (famously portrayed by Katharine Hepburn alongside Cary Grant and James Stewart in the film of the same name) attempts to marry while dodging tireless tabloid journalists – and her ex-husband.

Tickets $28. Rated PG-13. theatrecharlotte.org/show-2018philadelphia-story

November 7 ‘The Children of Harvey Milk: How LGBTQ Politicians Changed the World’

Flyleaf Books Chapel Hill 4:30-6p.m.

Coinciding with the upcoming 40th anniversary of the assassination of Harvey Milk, UNC-Chapel Hill Professor Andrew Reynolds launches his new book “The Children of Harvey Milk” with a special interactive event. The evening will conclude with a reception following a collaborative discussion among LGBTQ elected officials from across North Carolina, moderated by USA Today journalist Steven Petrow. Registration required; $20 fee includes admission to all portions of the event as well as a copy of Dr.

Ovens Auditorium 2700 E Independence Blvd., Charlotte 8 p.m.

The iconic songwriter and controversial Nobel laureate brings his inimitable style to one of Uptown’s largest venues. Standard admission tickets $62-$129, with VIP package options up to $480. Doors open 7 p.m. livenation.com/artists/51111/ bob-dylan.

November 10, 15, 18 ‘The Daughter of the Regiment’

Belk Theater at Blumenthal Performing Arts Center 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 8 p.m. Saturday Nov. 10, 7:30 p.m.

Thursday Nov. 15, 2 p.m. Sunday Nov. 18 Opera Carolina kicks off the performance season with Gaitono Donizetti’s singular tale: an orphaned young woman, brought up among a regiment of the French army and in love with a peasant, learns she was born to the aristocracy. Tickets $22-$157. operacarolina.org

November 10 The Capitol Steps: Make America Grin Again!

McGlohon Theater at Spirit Square 345 N. College St., Charlotte 8 p.m.

Parodist performance collective The Capitol Steps was founded by, and is still primarily composed of, real former Capitol Hill staffers. In

November-December 2018

this latest musical satire, the group brings its combined 62 years of House and Senate experience to bear as it lampoons the present administration, world affairs and more. Tickets $49-$69. capsteps.com.

November 14 ‘Sister Sister’ Drag Tour

Carolina Frank Porter Graham Student Union at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill South Rd., Chapel Hill 8-10 p.m.

Durham-based House of Coxx sister alumnae Stormie Daie and Naomi Dix (also known as Miss Gay Hispanidad 2017) kick off their first-ever joint tour with a free gig hosted by the UNC LGBTQ Center.

The event takes place on campus but is open to the public. bit.ly/sistersisterdrag.

November 14 H.E.R. in Concert

The Fillmore 820 Hamilton St., Charlotte 8 p.m.

Emerging alternative R&B artist and outspoken feminist campaigner H.E.R. headed out on tour only last month in support of her latest E.P., a precursor to her upcoming full-length debut. Ticket prices are $32-$105 in advance, higher day of show. Doors open 7 p.m. livenation.com/artists/289070/h-e-r.

November 17 Vintage Charlotte Winter Market

The Fillmore 820 Hamilton St., Charlotte 9 a.m.-4 p.m.

Local pop-up market pros Vintage Charlotte (VTGCLT) bring together more than 60 vendors of vintage and handmade goods in its 7th annual Winter Market. Beverages from HEX Coffee will be on offer alongside edibles by The Dumpling Lady, with free shopping bags supplied by Yelp Charlotte for the first 500 visitors. $7 early entry 9 a.m. followed by $2 general admission 10 a.m.-4 p.m. bit.ly/vintagewinter. vintage-charlotte.com.

November 17 Robert Lazzarini Public Talk

November 20: Evan + Zane: Jealousy Tour

Raleigh native, “Westworld” star, musician and unapologetic queer feminist Evan Rachel Wood joins singer-songwriter and bandmate Zane Carney for an intimate performance to raise funds for the historic arts venue. General admission tickets $45 and available for purchase online.

Cabaret table reserved seating $95 per person and can be purchased through the box office at -919-831-6058. Table seats 4. Theatre in the Park, 107 Pullen Rd., Raleigh. 7 p.m. theatreinthepark.com.

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Submit your events: editor@goqnotes.com

Mint Museum Uptown 500 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 2-3 p.m.

In a special event free with museum admission, artist Robert Lazzarini discusses his latest project the flowering, on display Nov. 16-Dec. 30 in the newly renovated Mint Museum Uptown.

Lazzarini’s exhibition features works in multiple media “incorporating imagery relating to the late actress Sharon Tate.” Tate, made famous by her role in ”Valley of the Dolls,” was married to director Roman Polanski and pregnant with the couple’s child when she was murdered on the orders of Charles Manson in 1969.

November 19: John Cleese — Why There Is No Hope

A self-described “actor, writer and tall person,” John Cleese delivers his take on life, politics and the world at large, as only a comic legend could.

Doors open at 7 p.m., ages 12+ only. Tickets $29-$122. VIP packages $302. Ovens Auditorium, 2700 E. Independence Blvd., Charlotte. 8 p.m. ovensauditorium.com/events/evening-humour-john-cleese. mintmuseum.org/events/public-talkrobert-lazzarini.

November 23 Zoso: A Tribute to Led Zeppelin

The Fillmore 820 Hamilton St., Charlotte 8 p.m.

Zoso, by critics’ accounts as well as the band’s own, goes all out in its quest to embody “the ultimate Led Zeppelin experience.” Dramatic lighting and elaborate stage effects ensure showmanship never falls by the wayside – and where authenticity’s concerned, this acclaimed foursome even rocks period-appropriate vintage instruments. Doors open 7p.m. General admission $12.

Standing room only. livenation.com/artists/44767/zoso zosoontour.com.

November 23-24 ‘Home Alone: Movie in Concert’

Belk Theater at Blumenthal Performing Arts Center 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m.

In the first of three features in the Charlotte Symphony’s upcoming ‘Movies in Concert’ series, the slapstick mayhem of 1990s-kid holiday favorite “Home Alone” is screened above the orchestra as musicians deliver a live performance of John Williams’ original score. Tickets $28-$126. “Movies in Concert” series three-event subscriptions available starting at $99. charlottesymphony.org/ moviesinconcert.

November 29 An Evening with President Bill Clinton and James Patterson

Knight Theatre at Levine Center for the Arts 430 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 7 p.m.

The Charlotte Mecklenburg Library Foundation, in partnership with

Park Road Books, welcomes President Bill Clinton and author James Patterson to Charlotte to discuss their recent best-selling novel, “The President Is Missing.” Tickets $50-$125. foundation.cmlibrary.org/patterson.

November 29 Livingston Taylor

Neighborhood Theatre 511 E. 36th St., Charlotte 8 p.m.

Multitalented son of a multitalented family, Livingston “Liv” Taylor has achieved icon status thanks to half a century’s soulful and eclectic work. The guitarist, singer, songwriter and popular Berklee College of Music professor brings his signature style to NoDa’s restored Neighborhood Theatre for one night only. Doors open 7 p.m.

General admission $30, reserved seating $35. $3 surcharge at the door for patrons 18-21. Under 18 admitted with parent. ID required. neighborhoodtheatre.com/ event/1698546.

December 1 Charlotte Latin Pride Expo

Holy Trinity Lutheran Church 1900 The Plaza, Charlotte 12-4 p.m.

This year’s expo by Charlotte Latin Pride — Orgullo, to hispanophones — boasts performances by Miss and Mr. Latin Pride 2018, live music, food and dancing, as well as a cooperative endeavor “collaborating with Mexican Photographer Nelson Morales to bring you an interactive visual of the lives of LGBTQ individuals here in the Queen City.” The event will also incorporate a community resource fair and free HIV testing in recognition of World AIDS Day. bit.ly/latinprideexpo. charlottepride.org/latin.

life

REGULAR EVENTS

Our People: Jordan Chris

Charlotte Latin Pride

Spanish-language support nights, second and fourth Tuesday of each month, 7 p.m., Charlotte Pride offices at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church, 1900 The Plaza, Charlotte. info: charlottepride.org/latin/

PFLAG Charlotte

Support meetings, second Monday of each month, 6:30-8 p.m., Time Out Youth Center, 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: pflagcharlotte.org

Prime Timers

Monthly meeting including dinner, speaker, games and more for gay men ages 21 and up, 5-7 p.m., Park Road Baptist Church Fellowship Hall, 3900 Park Rd., Charlotte. info: primetimersww.com/charlotte/

Trans Youth Group

Weekly discussion groups for transgender youth ages 13-20 each Thursday, 4:30-6 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org

Transcend Charlotte

Support groups for partners, friends and family of transgender and gender non-conforming adults ages 18 and older, second and fourth Sundays of each month, 6-7 p.m., Time Out Youth Center, 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: transcendcharlotte.org

Youth Drop-In Space

Drop-in space Monday-Friday, 3-6:30 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org

Youth Discussion Group

Weekly discussion groups for LGBTQ youth ages 13-20 each Wednesday, 6:308:30 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org

Youth of Color Group

Weekly discussion groups for LGBTQ and ally people of color each Thursday, 7-8:30 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org

UPDATES/ADDITIONS?

Do you have a regular and reoccurring community event you’d like listed? A listing to update? Email us at editor@ goqnotes.com.

Tattooed, Self-made Man

C

BY Torie Dominguez |qnotes staff WRITER

harlotte-born late-twentysomething Jordan Chris could probably tell you a thing or two about intersectionality. His own life experience certainly warrants checking off boxes for more than a few marginalized groups: People who aren’t cisgender. People who aren’t straight. People who were socialized female. People who use hearing aids, or are part of Deaf culture. And most drastic of all, people whose visible tattoos mean they will never, ever get a real, grown-up job.

Jordan juggles all those identities with grace, though. He seems like just a regular guy. Because, of course, he is.

In advance of Transgender Day of Remembrance, this regular “self-made man” chats with qnotes about life, love and the lottery.

What misconception about transgender people, or about the experience of being transgender, would you most like to correct?

That we all transition the same. Some of us do, some of us don’t. We all go through a different journey towards being a better version of ourselves.

If it’s not too personal, how do you describe your sexual orientation?

I usually say I’m queer to those who need a simple answer, but at this point in my life I date men exclusively.

How accepting has the queer community been of you as a nonheterosexual transgender person?

Very positive. I hang out around the Woodshed and get treated like any other gay guy who walks through their door. When it comes to my other queer friends, it’s a non-issue.

Do you think that not being hetero made it more difficult for you to figure out your gender identity? Or, for that matter, did being transgender make it more difficult to figure out your sexual orientation?

I think being transgender made it easier for me to have an open mind about my sexuality. Once I figured out I was gay, my friends were like, “Yeah and water is wet.” [laughs] I think I need new friends.

How central to your identity is being transgender, relative to other aspects of who you are? Would you say it’s more or less important than cisgender-heterosexual people imagine?

Honestly, I live a pretty humble life. I take adventures, work and try to get home in time to make dinner for me and my partner. The only time my being trans comes up is when the government tries to get involved or I have a doctor’s appointment.

Where did you get the idea for your “self-made man” tattoo?

I got this tattoo over eight years ago. I had a friend at the time who was a comic book artist turned tattoo artist. I told him one night how funny would it be if I got a cartoon version of myself with words saying “self-made man” and he laughed and said, “let’s do it.”

What would your childhood self think of the person you are now?

“Hey, you made it.

I thought for sure you would be 6 ft. underground. You look amazing for almost 30 and your mom was wrong.

You can find love.”

How did you react to the recent news that the Trump administration may adopt language defining gender as biological and static, essentially denying the legitimacy of trans identities?

[I was] angry but I’m not surprised at all. Our people have seen this type of treatment for centuries. We have to keep fighting no matter how tired we are. One day we will live without fear of our rights being infringed upon.

On a potentially more frivolous note, imagine you won that record lottery jackpot that’s been up for grabs: what would you do with the money?

Oh for sure get my bottom surgery. [laughs] But for real I would donate most of it to the homeless and less fortunate. Nobody in the universe needs that much money.

If you could live in any place (terrestrial or not) in any time period (past, present or future), what would you choose?

Oh my…I would want to be the Doctor’s companion. That way I could travel through time and space. How cool would that be? Did I answer that right?

What skill or quality are you most proud of?

The ability to listen to others — thanks to my trusty hearing devices. Seriously though, my ability to be a loyal friend. If you need me I’m always here.

What cheers you up when you’re feeling down?

Being around my cat, my boyfriend’s witty humor and baking. I can’t be sad around my cat, laughing, and holding a cupcake I just made What was the last thing that made you feel truly accomplished?

My decision to start school. I am petrified of failing, but I know in the end it will be worth the hard work.

And finally, what goal do you hope to achieve next?

To create change not just locally, but globally. It’s our time. : : For qnotes’ extended feature on Jordan Chris, visit goqnotes.com/61589.

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