QNotes, Nov. 21-Dec. 4, 2014 by QnotesCarolinas

Nov. 21-Dec. 4 . 2014

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Nov. 21-Dec. 4 . 2014

inside

qnotes

Advocates explore new prevention efforts, including controversial Truvada

life, positively

Special Online Only Feature: HIV educators and advocates are looking toward new methods of prevention and educaiton as new HIV infection rates continue to rise among gay and bisexual men. So-called treatment as prevention for already pre-exposure prophylactic are buzzing in prevention circles. qnotes talks to local advocates and community members for their thoughts as the fight against HIV/AIDS enters a new era. Read this story and a special commentary on the impact of HIV/AIDS on the AfricanAmerican community online at goqnotes.com.

9 Different Roads Home

8 HIV stigma continues 9 Rosedale Infectious Diseases 10 Blood ban soon gone? 12 Artist shakes up Charlotte 15 HIV/AIDS Resources 23 World AIDS Day events

arts. entertainment. news. views.

news & features 5 News Notes: U.S./World 6 News Notes: Regional Briefs 7 Gay veteran murdered

a&e / life&style 16 Artist queers homecoming

19 Dishing with Buff Faye 20 Jane’s World 20 Tell Trinity 22 Q Events Calendar

opinions & views 4 Staff Commentary 4 Spiritual Reflections

Nov. 21-Dec. 4 . 2014

qnotes

qnotes connect Nov. 21-Dec. 4, 2014 Vol 29 No 15

arts. entertainment. news. views. goqnotes.com twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue

Paige Braddock, Matt Comer, Esih Efuru, Buff Faye, Lawrence Ferber, Lainey Millen, Jeff Taylor, Trinity, Francisco White

front page

Graphic Design by Matt Comer & Lainey Millen

goqnotes.com/to/views

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staff commentary by qnotes staff

A time for thanksgiving and support Thanksgiving and the rest of the holiday season is right around the corner. Soon, we’ll be entering a whole new year. As we wrap up 2014 and prepare to head into 2015, it’s always comforting to take a break and reflect on the things that make us truly thankful. Here at qnotes, we’re abundantly grateful for the continued support of our advertisers and readers, without which we wouldn’t be able to continue our nearly 30-year legacy of powerful and insightful journalism independently covering the news, arts, entertainment and opinion of importance to our local and statewide LGBT community. Over our three decades of service, qnotes has committed itself to truly community-centered journalism. Our work helps to raise the bar on LGBT issues, bring awareness to the important contributions of local non-profit groups and leaders, document our collective journey toward equality and chronicle all the highs and lows of life as LGBT Charlotteans and North Carolinians. But doing this work is more a labor of love and service than an entrepreneurial endeavor. Such is the case with most all niche community news outlets. And none of it is possible without your support. Our advertisers — some of which have supported us for as long as the paper has been in existence and others for a decade or more — continue to provide important funds to keep the presses rolling, our website up to date and our staff paid. And just this year, we launched a new voluntary reader giving and subscription program, allowing readers who wouldn’t otherwise benefit from advertising a way to offer their one-time or continued support. Through our decades-long service, qnotes has remained a free community news service. But producing the news isn’t free. We must pay staff, rent, telecommunications services, production costs and more. As the 21st-century media landscape has changed, the way news companies pay for the content they produce has also changed.

Advertisers have more options, as do readers. In response, some newspapers have begun raising the price of their once-free or cheaper print editions and requiring their readers to buy subscriptions to view online content. We don’t charge our readers for our print newspaper or put content behind a “paywall,” but we do believe that readers have an important place in the production of news and entertainment. A mix of voluntary financial support from readers and the continued support we receive from advertisers can ensure that our dynamic, hard-hitting and insightful news and entertainment coverage continues hitting the streets in print every other week and published online every day. Our voluntary reader subscription allows you to support the news you’ve come to enjoy and depend on. With your one-time or ongoing monthly support, you make it possible for us to continue our nearly threedecade long tradition of community service. You’ll join our advertisers in helping keep independent, local LGBT media strong for years to come as we explore exciting new options and new content delivery platforms like a re-vamped online presence, audio and video reports, a smartphone and tablet app and more. And, you’ll also receive our special thanks at each giving level — including a special commemorative thank you card, poster and coffee mug featuring photos from our archives and page-one covers from 1986 through the present. As you gather with friends and family this Thanksgiving, and as you consider your year-end holiday giving, we hope you’ll keep qnotes in mind. Signing up as an advertiser or offering a one-time or on-going personal gift can help ensure we continue our successes, like those just last month when qnotes became the go-to source for breaking news coverage as marriage equality came to North Carolina. Learn more about our giving program and sign up as a reader and supporter at goqnotes.com/subscribe/. Interested in advertising? Email us at adsales@goqnotes.com for a media kit and more information. : :

Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBT and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBT life and social justice issues. Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Editor: Matt Comer, x202 editor@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen, x205 production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper. Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2014 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

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Nov. 21-Dec. 4 . 2014

spiritual reflections by Esih Efuru :: qnotes contributor

Timing, patience and prayer win out Three years ago, I was given a lay off letter. I was hysterical, bitter and confused. I questioned God about the timing of my misfortune and spent many days and nights depressed. Nothing seemed to make sense to me and I felt that God had forgotten me. What I neglected to remember was that several years prior, I’d prayed to God for a way to live my dreams out loud. I’d also complained publicly and carried around my misery like a designer handbag. I didn’t notice the answered prayer when it finally showed up, in God’s time. I’d spent my time focusing on the present conflict, instead of looking forward to the future blessing. God has impeccable timing when it comes to honoring the needs of his people. Jesus says in John 14:14 that “If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.” What we must remember is that God hears us before we even ask and immediately sets out to grant us our needs,

wants and wishes. It’s not our role to know or figure out details, but to wait with expectancy for the big finish and express gratitude in the meantime. Your natural, human psyche won’t be able to comprehend what’s happening because the Holy Spirit works in another realm and in another way. After three years of being laid off, I’ve embraced the career of my dreams, experienced an incredible healing journey and increased my faith in God. The beauty of the moment has been marveling at how God’s timing was perfect, for each thing I prayed for showed up just when I needed it to. Not only has my love for God deepened, my trust in him has risen to new levels. When it comes to the life you desire and the things you wish for, know that God hears you and all that is in store for you will come in time. Stand back, smile and dress for the parade. : :

news news notes: u.s./world. goqnotes.com/to/news

U.S. cities advance on LGBT inclusion “From Mississippi to Montana, mid-size cities and small towns have become the single greatest engine of progress for LGBT equality —changing countless lives for the better,” said HRC President Chad Griffin. “In just three years, the number of municipalities earning top marks from the MEI for their treatment of LGBT people has more than tripled.” “Simply put,” Griffin said, “in this country there is an ongoing race to the top to treat all people, including LGBT people, fairly under the law. It’s time our state and federal laws caught up.” Cities like Salt Lake City and East Lansing, Columbus and Rochester, Tampa and Tucson, St. Petersburg, Tempe and Dayton, are doing better by their LGBT residents and workers than their state legislatures, or Congress. Other key findings contained in the MEI, issued in partnership with the Equality Federation, provide a revealing snapshot of LGBT equality in 353 municipalities of varying sizes, and from every state in the nation. The cities researched for the 2014 MEI include the 50 state capitals, the 200 most populous cities in the country, the four largest cities in every state, the city home to each state’s largest public Rights Campaign (HRC), university, and an the nation’s largest LGBT Carolinas cities ranked equal mix of 75 of civil rights organization. The Human Rights Campaign’s Municipal the nation’s large, The HRC Equality Index ranked several cities in the mid-size and small Foundation’s 2014 municipalities with Municipal Equality Index Carolinas. The highest score in the region went the highest propor(MEI) shows that in every to Charleston with 74 points. Charlotte followed with 63. Most of the increases in the two states tion of same-sex state in the nation cities are due to the extension of marriage to samecouples. like Cincinnati, Atlanta, gender couples, which included a maximum Thirty-eight citSaint Louis, Missoula, addition of 12 points to the scoring. ies earned perfect Orlando and Dallas are South Carolina North Carolina 100-point scores, fueling momentum for Charleston 60 Cary 36 even with this year’s LGBT equality — and 74 Charlotte 63 Columbia more demanding often in states that still Durham 59 Mount Pleasant 36 criteria that includes don’t have fully inclusive Fayetteville 41 North Charleston 44 transgender-inclunon-discrimination laws Greensboro 50 sive healthcare covor marriage equality. 51 erage. That’s up from Progress this year, as Raleigh Winston-Salem 51 25 in 2013 and 11 in documented by the third 2012, the first year annual MEI, has been of the MEI. Perfect scores are earned by cities particularly noteworthy on transgender equalwith exemplary LGBT policies, ranging from ity. Thirty-two million Americans now live in non-discrimination laws and equal employee cities and towns that have taken bold action to benefits, to cutting edge city services and embrace comprehensive transgender-inclusive strong relationships with the LGBT community. laws that go beyond explicit protections offered The full report, including detailed scoreby their state or the federal government. cards for every city, as well as a searchable The MEI’s standard criteria for earning database, is available online at hhrc.org/mei. : : points this year, for the first time, included — LGBTQ Nation (lgbtqnation.com), whether a city offers transgender-inclusive a qnotes news parter health care benefits. WASHINGTON, D.C. — At a time when many states continue to drag their feet on fullyinclusive LGBT laws and policies, the nation’s cities are stepping up in record numbers to ensure that all people are treated equally, according to a report issued Nov. 12 by the Human

QUICK HITS —————————————————————————————— Michigan Republicans have proposed a bill that would add sexual orientation to the state’s civil rights code. Advocacy groups, including Equality Michigan and the Human Rights Campaign, have condemned the bill for excluding protections on the basis of gender identity. more: bit.ly/11o9g6v The sheriff’s office in Lea County, N.M., is facing a lawsuit from the family of a gay man who died after they say local law enforcement failed to protect him more: bit.ly/1BpH1nB

A Texas Republican has introduced legislation that would allow so-called religious freedom discrimination against LGBT people. Similar measures have been introduced and failed in Kansas, Arizona and North Carolina, among other states. more: bit.ly/1xzzldm Russian authorities have reduced the prison sentence of a leader of an anti-gay vigilante group. Maxim Sergeyevich Martsinkevich was convicted of inciting and fomenting cases of extremism. He had been sentenced to five years in prison, but will now only serve three. more: bit.ly/1sNfLGp

Nov. 21-Dec. 4 . 2014

qnotes

news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen & Matt Comer

King memorial approaches

Triad Center to host T-Day potluck

WINSTON-SALEM — The North Star LGBT Center, 704 Brookstown Ave., will welcome the community to its facility for its second annual Thanksgiving Potluck on Nov. 29 from 2-5 p.m. The center will provide the turkey but ask participants to bring a side dish, beverage, bread, or dessert to help complete the meal. Email the center at info@northstarlgbtcc.com with what kind of dish will be brought to share. info: northstarlgbtcc.com. — L.M.

Chorus gets ‘naughty’ ‘n ‘nice’

[Ed. Note — The following is reprinted from a press release. This newspaper’s editor, Matt Comer, has been among several community members planning the community-initiated celebration of Don King’s life.] CHARLOTTE — A celebration of life will be held for early Charlotte LGBT community leader Don King on Nov. 23, 3-5 p.m., at the McColl Center for Art + Innovation, 721 N. Tryon St. Community members are invited to remember King, who starting in the 1970s became one of the earliest and most outspoken LGBT community leaders in the Queen City. The special community-initiated celebration will include a sharing of memories of King by several speakers who were colleagues with him at The Charlotte Observer and those who worked with him in LGBT causes. Music will be offered by the Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte’s small ensemble, 7th Son. A second celebration will follow in April. King died on Thursday, Oct. 30, 2014 at the age of 72. He moved to Charlotte in the 1970s and helped to begin several early LGBT social and support organizations. In 1981, he co-founded a community fundraising group which gave birth to qnotes, an LGBT community newspaper where King worked as its first editor in 1986 and 1987. In the late 1980s King spearheaded efforts to challenge the harassment and entrapment of gay men by local law enforcement. King continued his involvement throughout the rest of his life, often serving as a community mentor, advisor and historian. — M.C.

Charlotte Chorus gets ghostly for concert

CHARLOTTE — One Voice Chorus will present their annual holiday performance, “Ghosts of Christmas Past,” on Dec. 5 and 6, 7:30 p.m., at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Charlotte, 234 N. Sharon Amity Rd. This concert kicks off their 25th season. Voices will be raised with haunting melodies and visits from celebrities past, plus other surprises. Tickets are $22/advance (available online), $27/at the door. The increased pricing this season, the group says, is due to new North Carolina legislation that applies sales taxes to tickets and admission to concerts and other entertainment events. The new sales taxes also apply to non-profit organizations’ events. A “family-friendly” matinee concert will also be presented on Dec. 6, 2 p.m. Tickets are $17. info: onevoicechorus.com. — L.M.

Men’s chorus goes tropical

CHARLOTTE — The Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte will hold its holiday concert, “Sleighbells & Sunscreen,” on Dec. 12-13, 8:04 p.m., at St. Martin’s Episcopal Church. The show is filled with “warm” holiday cheer to heat things up during snowstorms or just plain cold weather.

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Tickets are $20-25 and are available online. info: gmcccharlotte.org. — L.M.

Band to have ‘cool’ concert

CHARLOTTE — The Charlotte Pride Band will hold its Winter Concert on Dec. 14, 3 p.m., at Temple Beth El, 5101 Providence Rd. Jazz, brass and woodwind ensembles will treat attendees to a host of enchanting and lively melodies. In addition to offering the community fun and festive music, the band will also be collecting goods for Jewish Family Services’ food pantry, which assists local families in need. Attendees are encouraged to bring one or more of the following items to the concert: personal care (laundry detergent, dish soap, men’s shaving cream) and food (chips, pudding mixes, peanut butter crackers, coffee, ketchup, mayonnaise, canned meat (chicken, salmon, or tuna), cookies, canned vegetables (asparagus, beets, spinach, potatoes or other vegetable except corn, green beans, or peas)). Sponsors of the program are Keshet and Temple Beth El. It also received support from the Charlotte Lesbian and Gay Fund. Admission is free. info: charlotteprideband.org. facebook.com/ charlotteprideband. — L.M.

GREENSBORO — The Triad Pride Men’s Chorus will hold their holiday concert, “Naughty & Nice,” across the Triad from Dec. 6-13. Get on board to enjoy the seasonal treat, now in its 15th year. Concert-goers will be entertained with songs unheard, plus beautiful and creative arrangements of holiday favorites. Their tour begins in Greensboro on Dec. 6, 8 p.m., at the Greensboro Day School, Sloan Theatre, 5401 Lawndale Dr. Tickets are $20/ advance, $25/at the door. The next stop is High Point on Dec. 9, 8 p.m., at Centennial Station, 121 S. Centennial St. Tickets are $15/advance, $20/at the door. The final destination is in Winston-Salem on Dec. 13, 8 p.m., Parkland High School, 1600 Brewer Rd. Tickets are $20/advance, $25/at the door. Group tickets are $18 for the Saturday dates and $13.50 for the Tuesday one. All advance ticket sales are available online. Support for the series is made available from ArtsGreensboro, The Adam Foundation, O’Henry Hotel, Green Valley Grille, Greensboro Parks and Recreation and The Music Center. info: triadpridemenschorus.org. — L.M.

Triangle Trans Thanksgiving dinner on horizon

RALEIGH — Transgiving will be held on Nov. 27, 5-9 p.m., at the LGBT Center of Raleigh, 324 S. Harrington St. Doors open at 4:30 p.m. This alternative Thanksgiving event is made available for those who are sticking closer to home this year. Relish a traditional meal with new and old acquaintances. The center will provide the main course (turkey), beverages and utensils and participants are asked to bring accompaniments. Can’t make the dinner? Then stop by for desserts and relax as the evening winds down. The LGBT and allied communities, along with family, are welcome. Sign up details are forthcoming. info/rsvp: lgbtcenterofraleigh.com. — L.M.

Veterans honored, potluck hosted

RALEIGH — The LGBT Center of Raleigh, 324 S. Harrington St., will pay special tribute to LGBT veterans on Dec. 4 at 7 p.m. Through Raleigh SAGE, the seniors’ organization that serves the “gay and gray” population, time will be taken to acknowledge the tireless and brave champions who defend the U.S., both foreign and domestic. The program included a presentation by Jerome Sebesta, a National VA accredited claims agent. According to Sebesta, there are numerous programs out there for LGBT vets if they only know how to find them. He will share what they are and how to access them.

For those who would like to identify themselves as LGBT veterans for future initiatives and programming, email sage@lgbtcenterof raleigh.com. In other news, SAGE Raleigh will host its holiday potluck on Dec. 13, 3 p.m., at the LGBT Center of Raleigh, 324 S. Harrington St. Emails to sage@lgbtcenterofraleigh.com with what attendee plans to bring are encouraged and welcome. info: lgbtcenterofraleigh.com. — L.M.

Western Quilt showcased

ASHEVILLE — An AIDS Memorial Quilt display opening reception will be held on Nov. 24, 6 p.m., at the Renaissance Hotel, 31 Woodfin St. The Names Project Foundation’s Mike Smith will share a message with attendees during his keynote address. A presentation of panels from WNCAP will be a part of the observance and evening’s program. Music will be provided by classic guitarist James Barr. The exhibit will be open 10 a.m.-7 p.m. daily from Nov. 25-Dec. 1. World AIDS Day, A Celebration of Lives, will take place on Dec. 1 in the hotel ballroom at 7 p.m. Artist Kat Williams and other will provide musical performances. info: wncap.org/ — L.M.

Creative presentations upcoming

BLACK MOUNTAIN — “This Fire!” — an afternoon of original poetry and song — will be held on Dec. 7, 4 p.m., at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of the Swannanoa Valley, 500 Montreat Rd. On hand will be Annelinde Metzner, Susa Silvermarie and Kim Hughes who will share their creativity with their audience. Metzner and Silvermarie will present inspiring and insightful poems, with songs by Metzner interpreted by soprano Hughes. Metzner, a poet and compoer of feminist and goddess-centered works, is a multimedia concert producer whose vision centers around a world filled with creativity, safety, value and love. Spoken word artist Susa Silvermarie has been widely anthologized and inspires through an engaging performance style. Hughes, a vocalist who has netted leading lady roles in New York City productions, is a healer and spiritual counselor. A donation of $10 is suggested. info: facebook.com/events/365374190310528/. — L.M.

Benefit slated

ASHEVILLE — Les Femmes Mystique will host its third annual “A Holiday Affair,” on Dec. 14, 7 p.m., at The Grey Eagle, 185 Clingman Ave. Participants will be able to enjoy spiced-up egg nog, dance performances by Les Femmes Mystique, Les Filles Charme and Bollywood Dancers, plus live music from the Groovin’ Roots Jazz Band and more. Stop by the photo booth for a holiday snapshot. Comedian Delina Hensley will serve as M.C. Five percent of ticket sales will go to benefit Our Voice which benefits those affected by sexual assault and abuse. Tickets are $15/advance and $20/at the door. info: etix.com/ticket/online/performance Search.jsp?performance_id=1854952. — L.M.

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news

Gay veteran dies from injuries in brutal attack Suspect charged with first-degree murder met victim at Greensboro gay bar by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com injuries from the fire. A friend says White, who served in Iraq and was injured there, had a hand and part of his arm amputated after injuries sustained in the weekend attack. Gupton was arrested on the scene. He was being held under bond, which was increased from $150,000 to $250,000 at his first court appearance on Nov. 12. He had been charged with assault with a deadly weapon inflicting serious injury with intent to kill, but authorities say he will now be charged with first-degree murder. Court documents reveal Gupton, who is a crew member in the city of Greensboro’s

Water Resources Department, beat White with a desk phone, large television, other items of furniture and a deadly weapon, according to WFMY. Sarah Ovaska at N.C. Policy Watch reported Nov. 13 that Greensboro police told her the attack was not being investigated as a hate crime. “He (Gupton) never verbalized to us that he intended to kill somebody,” said Susan Danielsen, a Greensboro police spokeswoman, according to N.C. Policy Watch. “There’s absolutely no evidence to indicate that this is a hate crime.”

She added: “We’re not sure what caused Mr. Gupton to act so violently. This is not a crime motivated by hate.” Danielson provided additional details to the Associated Press. “We believe this was a consensual encounter between the two of them, and at some point Mr. Gupton began acting incredibly irrational,” Danielsen told the wire service. White and Gupton had met at Chemistry Nightclub, a gay bar in the city at 2901 Spring Garden St., and when they left “everything

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Stephen White in an undated photograph from longtime partner Alex Teal.

GREENSBORO — A gay veteran brutally attacked and set on fire by a man he met at a local gay bar died from his severe injuries on Nov. 15. The suspect in the crime was being held by police after the aggravated assault in the early morning hours of Nov. 9 in a downtown hotel. Police say the attack on the victim is not being considered a hate crime. The victim, Stephen Patrick White, 46, of Greensboro, had been in critical condition at Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center in Winston-Salem. He had reportedly suffered burns over 52 percent of his body after the suspect, Garry Joseph Gupton, 26, of Greensboro, attacked White and set him on fire. Greensboro police say an employee at the Battleground Inn at 1517 Westover Terrace called 911 after hearing a man screaming at the hotel at the same time a fire alarm was activated. Police and firefighters responded to the hotel at about 4:30 a.m. White was apparently found naked, robbed and beaten, in addition to his life-threatening

Nov. 21-Dec. 4 . 2014

qnotes

life,

positively

Thank you to these organizations for sponsoring our Special World AIDS Day coverage.

HIV stigma is damaging our community today… …and at least one way it could serve a higher purpose by Lawrence Ferber :: qnotes contributor

earing the words “I’m HIV-positive” made Bryan (names and some details have been changed) freeze. A 23-year-old graphic designer, Bryan had met a guy at a Manhattan gay club, a svelte 25-year-old tourist, Zach, with whom he danced, drank and laughed. Around 1 a.m., just before heading to Zach’s hotel for more private activities together, Zach disclosed his positive HIV status. His viral load was undetectable, successfully suppressed with a drug regimen to the point it was low to no risk for transmission, he was clear of other STDs and he packed an ample supply of condoms. Bryan declined to go back with him, though, offering up a politely worded excuse rather than saying what he really thought: “I don’t sleep with HIV-positive guys.” Zach, however, had heard those words, or variations of the same, more than a few times since his diagnosis a couple of years ago, and he could see them clearly in Bryan’s green eyes. He felt like shit, judged, tainted, and while Zach wouldn’t lie and tell someone he was negative, he understood why so many others in his shoes have and do. Bryan ended up getting lucky a couple of hours later at another bar with Alex, an architect-in-training from Chicago who said he was negative. There’s a twist: Bryan, in fact, was positive, although he wouldn’t find that out until six months later when he got tested for the first time in almost three years. He had put testing off because, in the back of his mind, he was concerned about a bareback encounter with someone he met on Grindr who, the next day, deleted his profile, disappeared, as if in a poof of smoke. “Stigma is really damaging on both ends,” says Matthew Rodriguez of comprehensive HIV/AIDS resource site, The Body. “For negative people, stigma can sometimes stop them from getting tested. If they feel they did anything that put them at risk, they may not want to get tested because the result may be devastating. I think it also stops people from interacting with those living with HIV as full people. People just look at you as a status, as a virus. It can also stop people from going to the doctor or seeking treatment, because that’s admitting they have the virus.” At best, HIV stigma can lead to emotional sting, lost connections and deep blows to self-esteem; at worst, it

qnotes

Nov. 21-Dec. 4 . 2014

“Opposites Attract,” by photographer Eva Rinaldi, via Flickr. Licensed CC.

leads to life and career-threatening discrimination and dangerous, destructive behavior to others and oneself. A recent study by Houston, Texas’ LIVE Consortium on the topic of HIV stigma within the gay/bisexual male community was published in the International Journal of Sexual Health (read it here: ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4136678/). It concluded that, “because it is realistic to expect that in a climate in which HIV has become increasingly invisible and closeted and in which infections are on the rise [due to stigma], gay and bisexual men will be increasingly affected and infected by HIV.” Numerous organizations and campaigns are addressing HIV stigma, from those created exclusively for that purpose, including the two-year-old The Stigma Project and HIV Equal, to online resources like The Body, Avert.org and HIV Plus, to hookup apps like MISTER. The latter, in collaboration with Michigan’s Mr. Friendly HIV non-profit, allows members to declare a commit-

ment to “Live Stigma-Free” and date individuals of any HIV status on their profiles. Despite these, stigma is only getting worse within our own community, which LIVE’s disheartening study backs up. “I find often that stigma is self-imposed, out of underserved and unwarranted shame and guilt,” shares Olympic gold medalist swimmer Greg Louganis. HIV-positive since the 1980s, his life is chronicled in the new documentary, “Back On Board,” currently making the rounds at festivals. “The biggest problem is it inhibits open communication, and we still in this society have a difficult problem talking about sex.” Longtime AIDS activist Peter Staley, a subject of David France’s Oscar-nominated documentary “How To Survive A Plague,” describes stigma as, literally, a “viral divide between those who perceive themselves to be negative and those who are positive. There are a lot of negatives to living with HIV the rest of your life — having to keep your health insurance in order, meds, side effects — but the big one now is the stigma.” “I think a large number of negative men, especially if younger, try to avoid HIV just by avoiding people with HIV,” he explains. “They think they’re protected by a kind of moral code where a positive guy would disclose. On the flipside, the positive guys are so threatened by that stigma that they keep their status a secret, and that perpetuates the false assumption by many negative guys there isn’t a lot of HIV in their world. They think it isn’t something playing out in their generation that much, even though it is.” New Yorker Steven Colon, a 21-year-old video game design student who was diagnosed with HIV this past summer, now knows this sobering reality firsthand. Prior to his seroconversion, discovered during routine HIV testing (preferring to bareback with some partners, he frequently kept tabs on his status), Colon only had sex with partners who identified as HIV-negative — not due to stigma, he asserts, but by virtue of the fact that nobody ever informed him they were positive. After receiving his results, he contacted these partners, but none have come forward to say they were actually positive or have tested positive since.

see Stigma on 11

life, positively PRESENTING SPONSOR

Founded last year, local nonprofit Different Roads Home — a presenting sponsor for this year’s “Life, Positively,” has been hard at work making a difference in the lives of those with HIV. The group is the brainchild of Dale Pierce, a former full-time staffer at Rosedale Infectious Diseases. Pierce, who is himself HIV-positive, says he saw the need for a new organization that offered personal support and mentorship. Unlike other local groups that may provide direct medical care or case management, Different Roads Home offers less clinical services. The group boasts a diverse line-up of support groups, including one for HIV-positive women, one for HIV-positive men and a third open to all HIV-positive people as well as their friends, family and allies. The groups meet at either Different Roads Home’s office in Huntersville or at their partner location in Charlotte. Additionally, occasional events like movie nights, bowling and charity events are planned to

provide additional social outlets. The group’s annual Evening of Hope and Inspiration, held this year on Nov. 15, brings together diverse groups of people through faith, music and celebration to raise funds for Different Roads Home’s Jeanne White-Ginder Food Pantry, named in the honor of Ryan White’s mother, assists those living with HIV/AIDS and other chronic illnesses with access to food during emergency situations. The pantry provides gift cards to local supermarkets. This year’s Evening of Hope and Inspiration also featured Hope & Inspiration Humanitarian Award winner Linda Gray, star of the hit TV series “Dallas.” Additionally, the group has also established the Ryan White Memorial Scholarship fund to assist students with their education. The group also connects community members to HIV testing sites and other resource referrals. To learn more about Different Roads Home, visit differentroadshome.org or call 704-237-8793. : :

PRESENTING SPONSOR

Founded in October 2006, Rosedale Infectious Diseases, a sponsor this year for “Life, Positively,” is one of the Charlotte area’s few private medical firms with staff working specifically to care for those living with HIV/ AIDS. The firm, led by Dr. Frederick Cruickshank says it “prides itself in the most personal and up to date advances in medical care.” The firm provides basic medical care with a focus on HIV-positive patients’ needs. Cruickshank and team are able to work with clients to determine the best course of treatment and keep tabs on how well treatment is progressing. Additionally, clients are able to take advantage of Rosedale’s onsite pharmacy, providing a level of integration between clients’ primary care and their medicinal needs. Clients can also take advantage of a higher level of confidentiality and safety they may not feel when visiting public pharmacies. Medicines are ordered at Rosedale and shipped directly to clients’ homes. In order to provide the best and most advanced HIV treatment,

Rosedale participates in a variety of clinical trial programs for new medications or new therapy combinations. Patients have the opportunity to enroll in treatment studies, many of which offer free medications and helps pay co-pays for doctor’s visits and laboratory testing. Rosedale also receives some federal Ryan White funds to provide ambulatory medical care. Patients who are eligible can receive assistance covering expenses of HIV care, including medical visits, co-pays and laboratory services. Additionally, the firm offers free and confidential HIV testing every Tuesday from 9-11 a.m. and 2-4 p.m. Rosedale also sponsors a variety of community events and charities. The firm participates in the annual Regional AIDS Interfaith Network’s AIDS Walk Charlotte and has sponsored the Charlotte Human Rights Campaign Gala, the GayCharlotte Film Festival and more. To learn more about Rosedale Infectious Diseases, visit rosedaleid. com or call 704-948-8582. : :

Nov. 21-Dec. 4 . 2014

qnotes

life, positively Blood ban, holdover from AIDS Crisis, could change soon In midst, low-income gay men must lie to donate blood products in exchange for much-needed cash by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

hose who lived through the harrowing AIDS Crisis of the 1980s remember first hand just how their lives and those of their friends drastically changed. HIV and AIDS swept through the gay male community and others, taking with it nearly a generation of precious lives. The crisis forever changed the nation, too, including its laws and policies. A travel ban was put in place. Nefarious HIV criminalization laws were passed. Gay men — or any man, for that matter, who had ever had sex with a man since 1977 — were banned from donating blood and blood products. Some of those laws have since changed. The travel ban, for example, came to an end in 2010. But most are still in place, including the ban on gay blood donors. ‘Desperately needed money’ The gay blood ban reaches to other blood products, including plasma donation. While many advocates have focused on the overarching negative message about gay men sent by the ban, lost in the cracks are low-income people who depend on the extra money plasma donation can bring. Isahia (we’ve changed his name), a gay 22-yearold man in Charlotte, regularly donates plasma. In return, he receives up to $60 each week. “I was unemployed for a while,” he says. “I didn’t have any kind of income, so I desperately needed some kind of money to help me get on my feet and support myself.” Isahia’s first five visits to a local plasma donation center resulted in $50 payments each time. Afterwards the amount dropped slightly, but the money was still essential. He was living with his grandmother and she couldn’t support all his needs on her own. “My grandma can’t do it all,” he says. “I had to find some way to support myself — clothes, food, toiletries. Transportation for the bus was the most helpful part.” But donating plasma meant Isahia had to lie when staffers ask him about his sexual history. He’s not out to family or friends and disclosing his sexual orientation or full sexual history to staffers would mean a loss of what little income he had. Isahia says the question isn’t fair and he’s seen other donors or potential donors react negatively to the question.

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Nov. 21-Dec. 4 . 2014

“Some people get frustrated. They don’t answer the question. They get upset and leave,” he says. “I’ve seen a couple guys break into tears outside. They don’t feel comfortable. They should be able to feel comfortable with who they are and they feel like going in and being asked that question, that’s just them being judged.” Soon a change? The gay blood ban was passed by the federal Food and Drug Administration in 1983. At the time, there was no way to effectively detect HIV infection in blood products. That changed in 1985 with new HIV tests and was further improved with new technologies in 1999. Yet, gay men are still banned by the FDA — sparking a movement from various groups and activists to repeal the prohibition. The FDA and the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services have been considering revising the ban since 2010 and

on Nov. 12, the department moved forward with a 16-2 advisory panel vote to scrap the total ban in favor of a one-year deferral. If adopted, the new rules would allow men who have had sex with a man to donate after remaining abstinent for one year. Advocates have admitted the move is a step forward, but most are still condemning the lasting stigma even this change will bring. “This recommendation — although nominally better than the existing policy — falls far short because it continues to stigmatize gay and bisexual men, preventing them from donating life-saving blood based solely on their sexual orientation,” David Stacy, the Human Rights Campaign’s government affairs director, said in a statement. “The current policy, adopted in the earliest days of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, and the new recommendation are both simply wrong and can no longer be justified in light of scientific research and updated blood screening technology. It’s far past time for this stigma to end.” The American Civil Liberties Union has also spoken out. “Criteria for being a blood donor should be based on science, not discriminatory stereotypes and assumptions,” ACLU Legislative Representative Ian Thompson said in a release. “It is promising to see that the U.S. appears poised to move away from the current lifetime ban that prevents gay and bisexual men from donating blood. However, the proposed one-year deferral will prevent two men who maintain a committed, monogamous relationship from ever donating blood. This proposed policy does not distinguish between high risk and safer sex practices.” Other countries have changed their policies, transitioning to a focus on more attentive to actually risky behavior. In Italy, for example, donations are banned from anyone who has recently engaged in unsafe sex. : :

Stigma continued from page 8 “It’s a little upsetting I don’t know who it is,” he admits. Colon, who promotes a monthly superhero/ spandex/lycra-themed party at NYC’s Pieces bar (called Skintight USA), found some immediate support amongst a couple of friends who, coincidentally, also tested positive at about the same time. Staley feels that a major failing with most anti-stigma campaigns is that they play to the choir and fail to reach their target audiences, like gay millennials, whose new infection rates are, as illustrated by Colon’s social cluster, rising. On the ACT UP NY Alumni Facebook page last month, member Rebecca Reinhardt reported some flabbergasting, ill-informed comments and opinions she overheard at a West Hollywood happy hour for Ivy League 20-somethings. Pearls of overheard misinformation included: condoms are useless, since they always break and you have only a 2 percent chance of getting HIV from unprotected sex anyway, and PrEP, if even aware of it, entails a waste of money since it’s just for sex addicts anyway. “I’m not wagging my finger at these guys,” Staley interjects. “This generation of young gay men is not worse than mine. They’re just living in different times. When I was 20, I also perceived risk very differently and was very dismissive of things that happened earlier in history and didn’t think applied to me.” One exception when it comes to prevalence of stigma and misinformation seems to be San Francisco, where many early PrEP adopters live. Even those who argue that PrEP encourages reckless behavior that can cause upticks in other STD infections, like Hepatitis C, are at least having open communication. “San Francisco is the shining example of where, if you put stigma on a locality ranking scale, you’ll find the least stigma of anywhere

see Stigma on 14

Nov. 21-Dec. 4 . 2014

qnotes

life, positively HIV-positive artist-activist wants Charlotte to get uncomfortable by Francisco White :: qnotes contributor

ithin an LGBTQ movement largely focused on the advancement of marriage equality, artist Jessica Whitbread has chosen to channel her personal experience with HIV into art and activism. The Toronto native and Wesley Mancini artist in residence at the McColl Center for Art + Innovation was diagnosed with HIV in 2002. She has since become a strong advocate for HIV/AIDS awareness, in addition to being “passionate about the intersectionality of issues and feminism,” she says. Her residency at the McColl is held in conjunction with Re/Presentations of HIV/AIDS, an exhibition of how HIV/AIDS has been represented in contemporary art, at the Van Every/Smith Galleries in Davidson. Whitbread is known for much more than her art, serving as the global chair for the International Community of Women Living with HIV, founder of the first International Chapter of Young Women, Adolescents and Girls living with HIV, as well as a steering committee member for AIDS ACTION NOW! Whitbread’s journey living with HIV informed her activism and leadership. “Activism is where I drew my strength,” she says. “I’m super into talking about the heaviest stuff you can talk about. Sexual privilege is one of my favorites. I like to challenge who has the privilege of being a sexual being. Things like HIV status, body type and gender factor in to that.” Whitbread says she’s making the most of her residency as an opportunity to push Charlotteans out of their comfort zone around issues of sex and gender. She believes getting people to speak openly about these issues is crucial in the fight against HIV/AIDS. “People don’t even want to talk about things like gender and sexuality being on a spectrum,” Whitbread says. “Let’s make Charlotte more open and exciting and talk about what we’re not talking about.” In an effort to have open discussions about things unspoken, she has opened her studio at the McColl weekly for “consciousness-raising groups to talk about the issues affecting Charlotte.” Last month, the artist hosted more than 20 clients of Regional AIDS Interfaith Network’s (RAIN) Empowering Positive Youth program. The group contributed personally designed pieces to a banner she will leave behind when her residency concludes on Nov. 25. She spoke of a recent two-hour conversation she had with RAIN’s executive director, the Rev. Debbie Warren, over tea, saying, “Lesbians are the backbone of the HIV movement and they’re also the forgotten sisters.” Whitbread has hosted “tea parties” around the world with women who are affected by HIV/AIDS, using them as a vehicle for story sharing and social change. She will host her “No Pants, No Problem” event on Nov. 21, at Studio 1212 here in Charlotte. Proceeds from the event go to RAIN

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Nov. 21-Dec. 4 . 2014

to support community outreach and their various programs for people living with HIV/AIDS in the Charlotte area. The event is a pants-optional underwear dance party that will feature installations from local artists and a kissing booth. RAIN will be distributing condoms at the event, as well as offering safe sex and harm reduction education. : : Jessica Whitbread at one of her ‘No Pants, No Problem’ HIV and safer sex awareness parties. Photo Credit: Tristan Ginger, Montreal

Jessica Whitbread at an event at the McColl Center for Art + Innovation. Photo Credit: Matthew Steele/McColl Center

Nov. 21-Dec. 4 . 2014

qnotes

life, positively Stigma continued from page 11 in the country,” Staley says. “They also have a very low HIV infection rate because guys there talk and think about HIV and have a much more reasoned risk analysis. There will be a negative guy sleeping with positive guys, but asking about their viral load and making certain decisions and positions determined by that. That sophistication is lost on many young gay men outside SF and NYC. I want to figure out the best way to reach them, and it’s likely going to come from [within] their generation, not mine.”

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Activist Jack Mackenroth, who was open about his HIV-positive status while a contestant on “Project Runway,” agrees that it’s difficult to get people who don’t think (or want to think) that HIV directly affects them engaged. He feels that once PrEP use grows more widespread, medical treatments advance, and positive people become more visible, HIV stigma will dissipate. Yet, with stigma winning the battle today, is it possible to take this destructive force and, like with the Terminator model T-800, reprogram and somehow wield it for constructive, preventionforward purposes? To replace fear and loathing with understanding and empathy, and to ultimately humanize HIV-positive individuals?

Nov. 21-Dec. 4 . 2014

Perhaps — and in a handful of sizes. “It would be useful to set someone down and say, ‘imagine you are positive,’” Mackenroth muses. “You want to know what it feels like — wear a T-shirt saying you are positive all day long. You will feel what that’s like.” That’s exactly what founder Kevin Maloney’s Rise Up To HIV is doing with its “No Shame About Being HIV+” T-shirts — turning HIV stigma on its head in a bid to raise awareness and create change. Members of NYU’s First Year Queers & Allies leadership program wear these to experience reactions from those who would perceive their shirt as a status announcement. It’s a start and an experiment that

more schools and colleges should look into. “I’ve worn it and gotten mixed responses,” says The Body’s Rodriguez. “Honestly, anyone can get HIV. The whole problem with stigma is [it perpetuates that] someone had to do something wrong to get HIV. But we know from science that with gay men two-thirds of infections happen within the context of relationships. I applaud people who don’t let status stand in the way of having a sexual relationship. It’s usually not the positive and on-treatment guys one should be second-guessing. It should be the ones who don’t know. The only ones who know their status for sure are positive.” : :

life, positively CAROLINA HIV/AIDS RESOURCES

AIDS Service Organizations in North Carolina compiled by qnotes staff North Carolina has a variety of community organizations, resources and services for those living with HIV/AIDS or those seeking to get involved in HIV/AIDS prevention, education and advocacy.

House of Mercy provides end-of-life nursing, housing and medical care for persons living with advanced AIDS. Services include physical therapy and medication assistance.

Statewide

Mecklenburg County Department of Health 704-432-TEST (8378) charmeck.org/mecklenburg/county/HealthDepartment/ CommunityHealthServices/Pages/HIVSTDServices. aspx Provides testing, case management, awareness, education and other services at various locations, events and times throughout the county and year.

NC AIDS Action Network ncaan.org The North Carolina AIDS Action Network is a statewide advocacy organization fighting for the rights of people living with HIV/AIDS, their loved ones and those at risk of acquiring HIV/AIDS in North Carolina. NC Harm Reduction Network nchrc.org The North Carolina Harm Reduction Network is a statewide grassroots advocacy, resource development and coalition building organization that provides direct services for a variety of issues, including drug use, sex work, immigration issues, genders, sexuallytransmitted diseases and HIV. Planned Parenthod Various locations plannedparenthood.org/health-center/findCenter.asp Planned Parenthood’s various locations across the state provide safer sex education and information and HIV testing.

Charlotte Area Carolinas CARE Partnership (formerly Regional HIV/AIDS Consortium) 7510 E. Independence Blvd., Suite 105 Charlotte, NC 28227 704-531-2467 info@carolinascare.org carolinascare.org Carolinas CARE Partnership provides free HIV/ STD testing and counseling, housing assistance, peer training, case management and other services, prevention and education. Carolinas CARE Partnership also houses the popular D-UP program, a peer education outreach effort among young men of color who have sex with men. Different Roads Home 15905 Brookway Dr., Suite 4203 Huntersville, NC 28078 704-237-8793 differentroadshome.org Different Roads Home is a non-profit organization serving individuals with HIV/AIDS, cancer and children’s chronic illnesses. Services include support and social programs, a food pantry, testing initiatives and more. House of Mercy 701 Mercy Dr. Belmont, NC 28012 704-825-4711 thehouseofmercy.org

The Power House Project 1416 Beatties Ford Rd. Charlotte, NC 28216 704-334-6076 powerhousecharlotte.com The Power House Project is a drop-in center and safe space for Black and Latino gay or bisexual men or men who have sex with men. The group offers a computer lab, weekly empowerment programs and workshops, retreats for men over 25 years old, social events, monthly discussion groups for men 18-29 years old and free and confidential HIV testing, which is always available during hours of operation. The Power House Project is a program of Quality Home Care Services. Quality Home Care Services 3552 Beatties Ford Rd. Charlotte, NC 28216 704-394-8968 qhcsnc.org Quality Home Care Services provides a variety of services for those living with HIV including case management, HIV/AIDS prevention programs and testing, substance abuse treatment, community-based rehabilitation services for those with mental development disabilities and other services. Regional AIDS Interfaith Network (RAIN) P.O. Box 37190 Charlotte, NC 28237-7190 704-372-7246 info@carolinarain.org carolinarain.org RAIN (Regional AIDS Interfaith Network), founded in 1992, engages the community to transform lives and promote respect and dignity for all people touched by HIV through compassionate care, education and leadership development. Services include CARE Management, Peer2Peer support and outreach, support groups for youth, faith-based training, chaplain services and caring volunteers who provide practical support to persons living with HIV and AIDS. RAIN also provides HIV awareness and prevention education programs to thousands of people each year and is the only HIV non-profit in the Charlotte metropolitan area providing direct client services.

Rosedale Infectious Diseases 103 Commerce Centre Dr. Huntersville, NC 28078 704-948-8582 rosedaleid.com Rosedale Infectious Diseases is a full-service HIV/ infectious diseases clinic that offers a variety of medical services. Staff, under the direction of Dr. Frederick Cruickshank, work closely with medical case management organizations.

Greenville PiCASO (Pitt County AIDS Service Organization) 1530 S. Evans St., Suite 106 Greenville, NC 77834 252-830-1660 picaso.org Starting as a grassroots organization focused on supporting those living with HIV/AIDS, providing buddy programs, nutritional support and healthcare advocacy, the agency changed over the years to a case-management-focused agency working with long-term client support. Currently, the group provides HIV testing, education and advocacy and emergency funding for those living with HIV/AIDS.

Triad AIDS Care Service 206 N. Spruce St. Winston Salem, NC 27101-2747 336-777-0116 aidscareservice.org AIDS Care Service provides housing, food pantry services, client services, Ryan White HIV case management and a variety of support services for Latino and people of color clients. Triad Health Project 801 Summit Ave. Greensboro, NC 27405 336-275-1654 triadhealthproject.com Triad Health Project provides case management and other client support services, HIV testing and prevention outreach, medical, social service and legal referrals, food pantry and nutritional resources and education, support groups and education, art and exercise programs.

Triangle Alliance of AIDS Services-Carolina 324 S. Harrington St. Raleigh, NC 27603 919-834-2437 info@aas-c.org aas-c.org Alliance of AIDS Services-Carolina provides

case management, HIV/STD testing and counseling, emergency assistance for rent and utilities, transportation assistance, housing information and referrals, mental health, substance abuse or support group resources, referrals and programs. AIDS Legal Project at Duke School of Law law.duke.edu/aidsproject/ The AIDS Legal Project provides confidential legal representation to low-income HIV-infected clients with legal problems relating to their diagnosis. Legal assistance is provided by law students under the supervision of attorneys. CAARE (Case Management of AIDS and Addiction Through Resources and Education) 214 Broadway St., Durham, NC, 27701 919-683-5300 caare-inc.org CAARE is a grassroots non-profit organization that promotes a holistic and community approach to health. CAARE provide a wide variety of services that help treat not only the medical roots of chronic diseases, but also the social and human factors that contribute to these health deficits. CAARE seeks to address disparities in health care access, and over the past 17 years has created a community devoted to helping people make all parts of their lives healthier.

Western ALFA 1120 Fairgrove Church Rd. SE, Suite 28 Hickory, NC 28602 828-322-1447 alfainfo.org ALFA, formerly known as AIDS Leadership Foothills Area-Alliance, has provided supportive services to those infected and/or affected by HIV/AIDS since 1987. ALFA currently provides supportive and medical case management, prevention education, and outreach to an eight county service area. ALFA’s service area consists of Alexander, Alleghany, Ashe, Burke, Caldwell, Catawba, Watauga, and Wilkes counties. WNCAP (Western North Carolina AIDS Project) 554 Fairview Rd., Asheville, NC 28802 828-252-7489 wncap.org Established in 1986, WNCAP provides case management, prevention and education programs, outreach, HIV testing and other services throughout Western North Carolina. In addition to its main office in Asheville, the group also has offices and a presence in Hendersonville, Shelby and Sylva.

Nov. 21-Dec. 4 . 2014

qnotes

Artist looks to queer traditional homecoming Texas native, visiting Davidson professor explores what traditions mean to LGBT youth by Jeff Taylor :: qnotes contributor

ew emotions demand declaration quite like young love. It is practically all you can think about when you’re under its influence and you can’t help wanting everyone to know how you feel. But for many, those feelings are willfully suppressed. For some, the affection they are feeling cannot be shared, for fear of the outcome. It is a situation that multimedia artist Liss LaFleur understands intimately. LaFleur, currently the visiting artist and assistant professor of digital and new media at Davidson College, grew up in Texas, where she often felt at odds with her surroundings. One instance arrived annually, with the spectacle that is Texas homecoming. One integral part of that experience is the gifting of mums by the boys to the girls, and boutonnieres from the girls to the boys. These elaborate pins — decorated by ribbons, real and fake flowers and various trinkets — are meant to show affection, but they also help prop up accepted societal norms.

“I just feel like there are certain things that we do that are almost ritualistic,” she points out, “and a lot of the times they are celebratory but they go against things like equality and recognizing our differences.” LaFleur’s latest project, called MUM, is her way of exploring what it means to LGBT youth experiencing love, affection and desire within a broader culture that remains at least somewhat uncomfortable with, if not openly hostile toward, their sexuality. She calls MUM an “experimentation in recollecting LGBTQ and queer high school love stories, crushes, and fantasies.” Anyone with a story to tell is encouraged to anonymously share them on the MUM Project website (mumproject.com). LaFleur only asks for initials and gender identity. All of the stories will be populated on the MUM website, and a select few will be chosen to be materialized as actual mums, which will then be exhibited at some point in the future. “The whole project came out of me reflecting on my time in high school as a queer youth,” LaFleur says. “Feeling like I couldn’t be who I am and be with who I wanted to be (with), and participating in these structures, or these events, that are very heteronormative… and wondering how it would be different if I could go back and do it over with a partner of my choosing.” LaFleur says her high school sold homecoming tickets in pairs, requiring the name of both the boy and girl who would be attending together. She and her high school girlfriend were left with no option other than to go with boys or not go at all. Even though she had come out as gay at 16, in a newspaper article she wrote about gay marriage, both she and her girlfriend dutifully attended homecoming with guys. It wasn’t until her senior year that she was able to go to a dance without the pretense of a male “date,” as she attended a queer prom hosted by an LGBT youth group. “By my senior year, I was just so tired of it,” she says. She has remained close with her ex, who is now a trans man, and the idea first came to her mind while talking with him one day. “Our conversation is really what made me want to launch this project,” LaFleur recounts. “Just reflecting on our first kiss, and how if I was to recreate that situation now, and take that person to a homecoming, they would be a man so we would look like a heterosexual couple now.” While she sees some signs of improvement for LGBT youth in the South, citing the recent crowning of a transgender homecoming king at East Mecklenburg High School as uplifting and hopeful, progress still seems slow.

see next page u

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Nov. 21-Dec. 4 . 2014

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Left: Liss LaFleur working with mums in her studio. Inset: Liss LaFleur with her homecoming mum at her home in in Humble, Texas, 2000.

life

for an opportunity to finally share these stories with someone. LaFleur is also moved by the idea of reclaiming the mum and giving it a larger, more inclusive context; one that celebrates a more universal concept of love and affection. “It’s amazing to me that somebody hasn’t appropriated these items within the queer community already, because they’re so gaudy and showy, you know?” she says, laughing. Gaudy and showy, but also powerful as icons, which she hopes to help reshape. “I really hope that this project will bring visibility and support, and also celebrate this idea of queer youthfulness,” she adds. “Because I feel like it’s not celebrated enough.” : :

“Nothing has changed at my high school,” she says. They still do not let individuals of the same gender attend dances together, and that, last time she checked, they still do not have a gay-straight alliance. But she’s excited by the submissions that are already coming in, and is encouraged by the many people, especially those from older generations, who have said they have been waiting

Nov. 21-Dec. 4 . 2014

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goqnotes.com/to/news

news

Greensboro man murdered continued from page 7 seemed normal” and friendly, a source said. The AP said Gupton told a bartender he’d been experimenting with men since he was 19 and the visit to the bar that night was his first ever to a gay club. Greensboro’s News & Record reported Gupton had been flirting with drag queens while at the bar. Drew Wofford, the bar’s owner, had organized a benefit for White Nov. 15. All proceeds from the door, bar and entertainer tips and drag show and staff pay were planned to help in White’s recovery, but will now be donated to his family. Another local bar, Q Lounge, also hosted a fundraiser on Nov. 15. Donations collected online had reached more than $9,700 on the morning of Nov. 16. Advocates with the statewide LGBT advocacy group had been monitoring the crime. In a statement, Chris Sgro, executive director of Equality North Carolina, called the attack “brutal” and said community members should pay “diligent attention to the investigation.” On Nov. 15, they responded to White’s death. “Stephen White’s death is a tragic loss for the Greensboro community and North Carolina. Our thoughts and prayers remain with Stephen’s family,” Equality NC Executive Director Chris Sgro said in a statement. “Equality NC promises to follow this investigation closely to ensure that it is thorough and justice is served.” Sgro added: “The loss of a community member is always tragic, but this loss is unac-

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Nov. 21-Dec. 4 . 2014

Garry Joseph Gupton after his arrest. Photo Credit: Greensboro Police Department

ceptable. As fellow citizens of Greensboro, my husband Ryan and I mourn tonight and stand in solidarity with the LGBT community in Greensboro.” Wofford had also issued a statement on his nightclub’s Facebook profile after news of the attack earlier in the week. “I remind you to please use caution when leaving our bar or any bar with someone you don’t know,” Wofford wrote. “I never would have dreamed something like this would happen here in Greensboro … but let’s make sure it never happens again.” : :

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dishing with buff faye by Buff Faye :: qnotes contributor :: info@bufffaye.com

Macximus: Giving back and educating others Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun. Yeah, that’s right. For this month’s drag column, I spoke to Mac or as I like to refer “Big Mac.” He loves him some Buff Faye (of course) — and was eager to sit down for some fixings at my favorite gayborhood diner Dish. Born in 1968 in Orangeberg, S.C., Mac is a southern gentleman — lots of scruff and tattoos (grrrr). He’s a modern day Spartacus with a heart of gold to go along with it. On stage, he is better known as the drag king Macximus, or as he prefers “trans male performer.” “The whole reason I do drag is to put myself out there for other trans men. Visibility is important, it puts a face to being trans,” he poignantly explains. “People come up to me and ask questions. I have been able to send four trans men to my doctor this past summer. Drag makes who I am more familiar. Plus, I like to sing live too.” Mac is a triple threat: a talented performer, an educator and wise soul. He first began doing drag at a talent show at L4 Lounge. He didn’t win his first night, but did donate all his tips to a trans man there to fund his top surgery. “I want what I do on stage to have meaning… and mean something to others,” he says. “Performance is more of a tool to give back and educate others.” Mac’s family is from Bamberg, S.C., where his grandmother was Pentecostal and her mother built the church he attended growing up. He fell in love with the church and live performance at a young age, despite the religion-based bigotry faced by LGBTQ people and especially trans people. He recalls as a child hiding under the table before church every Sunday, but not for the reasons some might assume. “I wanted to go to church. I just didn’t want to wear a dress,” he laughs. “Most importantly, I wanted to sing in church.”

Most drag entertainers lip-sync. Mac would rather sing. Maybe the flare runs in the family. Mac’s mom was a beauty pageant queen and his dad a football coach. We joke: it all makes sense now as to why he is so popular in pageant circles. The perfect mix of brawn and beauty. After all, he is the current Mr. Unlimited Leather 2014 at Club Cabaret in Hickory. I mean, just look at his pic. “I want to be visible to help others,” he shares. Mac shares how he almost died less than four years ago prior to transitioning: “I had to be resuscitated twice,” he says. “I always felt I had to live my life for someone else. I was in critical care for a week. My doctor always felt I was intersex. My body, my soul was telling me something had to change. I got a second chance to be who I am today, who I am meant to be. Now that I transitioned, I feel closer to God than ever. There are no more walls.”

a&e

SHOUT OUTS: Don’t forget to check out Mac in a new docu-

mentary “Finally Home: A Trans Journey” (working title). It is expected to be done next year. Plus if you’re looking for Queen City drag, check out the weekly shows at your favorite LGBTQ-friendly bars!

Maxcimus. Photo Credit: Jef Madden/Peephole Images.

I pause for a moment letting all Mac has said sink in. Truly remarkable. He simply states: “I am not an expert. I just have my story.” Powerful stuff. Of course, I had to press on. Next question: “Tell me about love?” Seriously, Mac is kind of, I mean, really sexy. People want to know. Mac laughs and tells me that he identifies as pansexual. Someone who loves another beyond the confines of sexuality and gender — basically soul to soul without any boxes or binaries. How deep, I love it. “My personal opinion is that everyone is pansexual. I think who I am as a trans man causes people to think and reassess their sexual orientation and affection. I personally try to think of myself as so much more than trans and pansexual,” he shares. And, yes, he does have a girlfriend who he has known for 30 years and they have been together for two years. Bless it be. Mac shares this advice for drag kings today: “Stay true to who and what you are.…don’t let someone else talk you into being anything else — whether as a performer or as a person. “ Spoken like the true champion you are, Mac. : : — Buff Faye calls the Queen City her home and performs to get people off Grindr (and raise money for charities). Find her at your favorite bars and hot spots. Plus don’t forget her monthly Sunday drag brunch and regular Friday night party bus. Learn more at AllBuff.com. Follow on Twitter @BuffFaye

Nov. 21-Dec. 4 . 2014

qnotes

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tell trinity by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

Why is paris burning for so long? All right Trinity, I’m a black male, out of the closet 10 years and part of the gay underground ball culture, House of Miyake-Mugler to be exact. I’ve been to balls across the nation, yet never meet a white member of any house [Trinity, please tell me you saw “Paris is Burning”]. Whites don’t find voguing, runway walking, battling or MC’ing as a part of their nightlife. We blacks would die without it. On the flipside, I don’t see many blacks going to white nightclubs. Why have whites never been part of the Ballroom/Vogue Culture? Vogue Diva, Charlotte, NC All right Vogue Diva, I’ve often wondered why Bears don’t mix

with Circuit Boys and Guppies don’t mix with Queens. Is it cultural, fear of the unknown, lack of intelligence or lack of information? I think it’s just a natural progression in the animal kingdom that each gay culture (group) works on itself, nurturing strong diverse cultures within a culture, making a place for everyone. It would be great if cultures mixed, I so agree, but Girlfriend, I’m not sure if the Ballroom culture is ready for The House of Snow White and Her Hairy Bears! Hello Trinity, I finally, after one month of getting up the nerve, said hello to someone with whom I had a crush. And, you know his reply, “ Sorry, you’re not my

type!” Why do people have types Trinity? Why! The Nerve, Des Moines IA Hello The Nerve, Sorry to be the one to drop the hardhat, but most men have a type and some aren’t man enough to expand that type. It’s not fair, but that’s life! Now, continue talking to more men because there will be many who are bound to be your type. Remember, sweetie, many men smell, can’t spell and are sometimes blind to everything around them! (See my tale of woe when you check out my cartoon.) Hey Trinity, I’ve been dating a lot of gay men in the last year since I moved south. But, it seems like everyone has a different idea of relationships. I thought there was just love and marriage. What more is there? Jaded, Ft. Lauderdale, FL Hey Jaded, Yes, you have uncovered the truth and, pumpkin, it’s not just a southern thing. There are many different relationships and here’s the list: Trinity’s Eye Opening Ten Types Of Relationships 1. Open Relationships: Most common amongst gay men and insects. It can be “open” a few times a year or a few times a month. It also gives couples something to talk about at brunch. 2. Monogamy: Most common amongst lesbian and straight couples, as well as lizards. Black widows kill their lovers after mating, thank God most humans don’t! 3. Threesome Relationships: This not so common taboo got pretty popular in the last 10-15 years. Hey, it saves on heating bills in the winter! 4. L ong Distance Relationships: Not the easiest or most practical, but popular in the gay world, especially since the advent of circuit parties and the internet.

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5. D ysfunctional Relationship: If you’re with an alcoholic, drug abuser, sex addict, workaholic or anyone with low self-esteem, this too common phenomenon will keep you wondering, why me! 6. Stalking/Obsessive Relationships: If you idealize someone you can’t have, but won’t give up trying to date them, then this unrealistic twosome is for you. 7. C elibate Relationships: If you’re physically or emotionally challenged, this 13th century experience may torture… mean, may work for you. 8. S &M/Leather Relationships: Popular amongst those with strong commitments to their fetishes, can also be very expensive unless you own a leather shop. 9. Dating a Married Man (Woman) Relationship: Welcome to (in my opinion) the #1 relationship game played by many and seen mostly on Court TV! 10. L astly, Sex Buddies: As the only nonrelationship of all relationships, this basic “Friends with Benefits” relationship promises no relationship. No one gets hurt and no one grows up! : : info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

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C A L E N DA R

NOVEMBER-DECEMBER 2014 To see more upcoming events, visit goqnotes.com/calendar/ Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/

Package Auction Charlotte City Club 121 W. Trade St., Suite 3100, Charlotte 7:30 p.m. Hearts Beat as One Foundation hosts its second annual Package Auction, featuring hot and sexy auction participants with huge gift packages ready for your bid. All proceeds benefit the Dolly Parton Imagination Library Project, a children’s literacy program. heartsbeatone.org –––––––––––––––––––– No Pants No Problem Studio 1212 1212 E. 10th St., Charlotte 10 p.m.

SEP NOV

Salisbury Pride fundraiser SEP NOV Spoken Space Theatre 405 N. Lee St., Salisbury 8 p.m. Salisbury Pride hosts a drag show fundraiser. Admission is $15 and includes entry and a drink ticket. salisburypride.com

SEP NOV

Don King memorial McColl Center for Art + Innovation 721 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 3-5 p.m.

SEP DEC

extra company or have no other place to go. A full, traditional Thanksgiving spread will be provided at no cost at Petra’s, 1919 Commonwealth Ave., 3 p.m.

In celebration of World AIDS Day, the Regional AIDS Interfaith Network (RAIN) and Mecklenburg County Health Department present this special evening of story-sharing, bringing voice to those living with HIV and remembering those who have passed. Storytellers include Power 98’s No Limit Larry, WCCB’s Morgan Fogarty, St. Peter’s Episcopal Church’s the Rev. Ollie Rencher and others. Open to the public, free. Donations accepted. Doors open at 6 p.m. for pre-show reception. thevoicesprojectclt.org Stronger Together SEP DEC Charlotte Marriott City Center 100 W. Trade St., Charlotte 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. The Regional AIDS Interfaith Network (RAIN) hosts its “Stronger Together” luncheon raising awareness off and funds for the group’s continued work fighting HIV/AIDS. The Ribbon of Love Leadership Award will be presented to Lesa Kastanas and Walter Kearns. $35. carolinarain.org –––––––––––––––––––– Stonewall Awards Party The Bar at 316 316 Rensselaer Ave., Charlotte 7:30 p.m. Stonewall Kickball Charlotte hosts its end of season and awards party, celebrating the end of its inaugural season. $15 admission includes one drink ticket. The team will also present a donation to Time Out Youth. facebook.com/stonewallkickballcharlotte

Submit your event to our calendar! 22

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The Voices Project Wells Fargo Auditorium Knight Theater 430 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 6-8:30 p.m.

Photo Credit: David Lari

A celebration of life will be held for early Charlotte LGBT community leader Don King. Speakers who worked with him at The Charlotte Observer and in The concept couldn’t be any simpler: the community will share their memoYou come, you drop your pants, you dance in your underwear. The event will ries. Music will be offered by local also feature a number of performances LGBT choruses. and installations from local artists and activists. The event is a safer-sex/ Thanksgiving SEP NOV harm-reduction awareness party. Gather with friends, family The Regional AIDS Interfaith Network and loved ones for a home(RAIN) will be on hand with condoms cooked meal and family and other safer sex goodies. Cover is time. In Charlotte, commu$5 without pants and $10 with pants. nity member Janice Covington will host Proceeds benefit RAIN. dinner for those who want or need Equality NC Gala SEP NOV Empire Room 203 S. Elm St., Greensboro 6 p.m. Equality North Carolina hosts its eighth annual fundraising dinner, featuring award presentations and guest speakers including former NFL player Wade Davis. More information online on tickets and lodging. equalityncfoundation.org/gala/

BRIEF Calendar Launch SEP NOV 1426 S. Tryon St., Charlotte Noon-3 p.m. Join BRIEF for the launch of their official 2015 Men of BRIEF Calendar launch party. The calendar is free to all attendees of the 2014 BRIEF Fashion Event. shopbrief.com

Nov. 21-Dec. 4 . 2014

Continues through Dec. 6 Ghosts of Christmas Past Unitarian Universalist Church of Charlotte 234 N. Sharon Amity Rd., Charlotte

SEP DEC

Twirl to the World Visulite Theatre 1615 Elizabeth Ave., Charlotte 9 p.m.-2:30 a.m. Just Twirl presents its sixth annual Twirl to the World holiday party, raising funds and collecting stuffed animals and toys for children in need. The party, paid for by hosts and sponsors, donates all of the funds and gifts it receives. This year’s charities are Campus Pride and Smart Start of Mecklenburg County. Learn more and purchase tickets online at justtwirl.com.

SEP DEC

05 15

One Voice Chorus presents their annual holiday concert with three opportunities to get in the Christmas spirit: Dec. 5-6, 7:30 p.m.; Dec. 6, 2 p.m. Tickets: $22/ advance, $27/door (Matinee: $17). onevoicechorus.com Continues through Dec. 13 Sleighbells & Sunscreen St. Martin’s Episcopal Church 1510 E. 7th St., Charlotte Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte hosts their annual holiday concert. Join in on two nights, Dec. 12-13, both performances at 8:04 p.m. Tickets: $20-$25. gmccharlotte.org

SEP DEC

Recurring Charlotte Events: PRISM Young Adults: Weekly discussion held each Monday, 5 p.m.-7:30 p.m. For young adults ages 18-25. LGBT Community Center of Charlotte. lgbtcharlotte.org. Men’s Yoga: Weekly yoga sessions for men hosted by certified instructor. Each Monday, 7:30-8:30 p.m. LGBT Community Center of Charlotte. Time Out Youth Center: Weekly support and discussion groups, Tuesday-Thursday, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Monthly group for youth ages 11-14. timeoutyouth.org. MeckPAC: Monthly meeting of local LGBT political action committee. First Tuesdays of each month, 6:30-8 p.m. LGBT Community Center of Charlotte. StillOut Photography: Local LGBT photography club. Meets monthly on fourth Tuesdays, 7-8:30 p.m. LGBT Community Center of Charlotte. facebook.com/StillOutPhotography. Friends Indeed: Men’s depression support group. Every other Tuesday, 6:30-8 p.m. LGBT Community Center of Charlotte. Weekly HIV & Syphilis Testing: Hosted at the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte each Wednesday, 5-7 p.m. HIV Support Group: Open support group for men and women who are HIV-positive. Hosted second Wednesdays of each month, 6:30-7:30 p.m. Different Roads Home. differentroadshome.org. LGBTQ Adult Education and Discussion Group: Weekly on Thursdays, a safe place for LGBTQ adults to meet and discuss important issues and topics. Hosted at LGBT Community Center of Charlotte. Each Thursday, 6-8 p.m. Men of all Cultures Together: Local chapter of National Association of Black and White Men Together. Every other Thursday, 6:30 p.m. LGBT Community Center of Charlotte. PFLAG Charlotte: Monthly support group meeting. Second Thursday of each month, 7 p.m., Time Out Youth Center. pflagcharlotte.org. Tradesmen: Monthly social meeting first Saturday of each month. 10 p.m.-2:30 a.m. The Woodshed Lounge. charlottetradesmen.org. Have a recurring weekly or monthly event, social, support or discussion group? Let us know. Submit your event at our online calendar at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/.

You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a three-for-one entry. All Charlotte-area events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes. com), the LGBT Center (lgbtcharlotte.org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com).

life World AIDS Day events goqnotes.com/to/life

Nov. 21 No Pants No Problem Studio 1212 1212 E. 10th St., Charlotte 10 p.m. The concept couldn’t be any simpler: You come, you drop your pants, you dance in your underwear. The event will also feature a number of performances and installations from local artists and activists. The event is an safer-sex/ harm-reduction awareness party. The Regional AIDS Interfaith Network (RAIN) will be on hand with condoms and other safer sex goodies. Cover is $5 without pants and $10 with pants. Proceeds benefit RAIN. Nov. 24 Memorial Quilt Renaissance Hotel 31 Woodfin St., Asheville 6 p.m. WNCAP will host the Names Project Foundation and the AIDS Memorial Quilt for a display and opening reception. The foudnation’s Mike Smith will deliver a keynote address, with music provided by classic guitarist James Barr. The AIDS Memorial Quilt will be displayed 10 a.m.-7 p.m. daily from Nov. 25-Dec. 1. Dec. 1 A Celebration of Lives Renaissance Hotel 31 Woodfin St., Asheville 7 p.m. WNCAP hosts “World AIDS Day, A Celebration of Lives” with artist Kat Williams and other musical performances. Dec. 1 The Voices Project Wells Fargo Auditorium Knight Theater 430 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 6-8:30 p.m. In celebration of World AIDS Day, the Regional AIDS Interfaith Network (RAIN) and Mecklenburg County Health Department present this special evening of story-sharing, bringing voice to those living with HIV and remembering those who have passed. Storytellers include Power 98’s No Limit Larry, WCCB’s Morgan Fogarty, St. Peter’s Episcopal Church’s the Rev. Ollie Rencher and others. Open to the public, free. Donations accepted. Doors open at 6 p.m. for pre-show reception. thevoicesprojectclt.org Dec. 1 Balloon Release St. Luke’s Missionary Baptist Church 1600 Norris Ave., Charlotte 3:30 p.m. Sponsored by the Mecklenburg County HIV/ AIDS Council a balloon release, guests speakers and a public affirmation of the importance of World AIDS Day. Dec. 2 ‘The Last One’ Conover Station 409 4th St. SE, Conover

6-8 p.m. AIDS Leadership Foothills-area Alliance (ALFA) hosts the production, “The Last One,” by Gastonia’s James Kellogg. A reading of names of individuals lost to HIV/AIDS will also be held. Dinner is provided at no charge. Attendees are encourages to wear red. The evening will end in a candlelight vigil. Please contact Annie Earle at 828-322-1447, ext. 223, for more information or to RSVP. Dec. 2 Delta Sigma Theta Cone Center, McKnight Hall UNC-Charlotte 9201 University City Blvd., Charlotte 6:30 p.m. In partnership with RAIN and The Red Pump Project, this World AIDS Day event will have Kareem Strong and Dr. Diana Rowan as guest speakers, entertainment by Jimmeka Anderson and The Voices of Eden Gospel Choir of UNC Charlotte, and free testing provided by Carolinas CARE Partnership. This event is free and open to the public. Dec. 4 Stronger Together Charlotte Marriott City Center 100 W. Trade St., Charlotte 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. The Regional AIDS Interfaith Network (RAIN) hosts its “Stronger Together” luncheon raising awareness of and funds for the group’s continued work fighting HIV/AIDS. The Ribbon of Love Leadership Award will be presented to Lesa Kastanas and Walter Kearns. $35. carolinarain.org Dec. 6 Red Pump/Red Tie Affair Hart Witzen Gallery 136 E. 36th St., Charlotte 7-10 p.m. Red Pump Charlotte hosts its annual “party with a purpose” commemorating World AIDS Day. The group will also present its annual Red Pump Award to the Rev. Debbie Warren of the Regional AIDS Interfaith Network (RAIN). The Red Pump Project works to raise awareness on the impact of HIV/AIDS on women and girls. It’s signature annual event “effectively couples fashion and philanthropy while serving to bring awareness and education about the impact of HIV/AIDS to the forefront in the Greater Charlotte community and beyond.” Dec. 7 Winter Walk for AIDS UNC-Greensboro 1400 Spring Garden St., Greensboro Triad Health Project hosts their 23rd annual Winter Walk for AIDS and the inaugural Ron Johnson 5K Run on the campus of the University of North Carolina-Greensboro. Free onsite testing begins at 12:30 p.m., registration opens at 1 p.m., opening remakrs at 2 p.m. and the race and walk beginning at 2:10 p.m. and 2:15 p.m. To register or for more information, visit triadhealthproject.com/events/winterwalk.php.

Nov. 21-Dec. 4 . 2014

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