QNotes, November 27, 2020

Nov. 27-Dec. 10, 2020

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inside this issue

Nov. 27 - Dec. 10, 2020 Vol 35 No 16

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contributors this issue

Mykah Buff, Jack Kirven, Lainey Millen, Mikey Rox, Chris Rudisill, Sara Shariff, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Gregg Shapiro, Trinity

front page

Graphic Design by Chris Rudisill Photography/Illustration: deagreez, Light Field Studios and chelovector via Adobe Stock Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBTQ and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBTQ life and social justice issues.

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Holiday Gift Guide, 2020

news

Charlotte, N.C.’s Debbie Warren, who has headed up the AIDS Service Organization RAIN since its founding, is stepping down from her position and is headed to retirement. She has long worked on behalf of HIV/AIDS individuals from the early days of the epidemic to today’s PrEP and PEP world.

6 RAIN Founder Announces Retirement 6 News Briefs 7 Black Transgender Southerners’ Encounter Health and Healthcare Disparity

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a&e 16 Tell Trinity 17 Out in Print: ‘Singular Sensation: The Triumph of Broadway’ 18 ‘Neon’ Glow

life 5 Holiday Wish Lists Needs Support Community 8 Charlotte Gaymers Network 13 The Ultimate Guide to Gay Gift Giving 2020 15 Health & Wellness: Healthier Holiday Recipes 19 Our People: Dennis Fox

views 14 Legal Eagles: Strategically Negotiate Your Employment Contract

events charlotteobserver.com/1166/ a local news partner of The Charlotte Observer

RAIN’s Warren to Step Down

Add your event listing on our online calendar at: goqnotes.com/events-calendar.

‘Neon’ Glow

Newly out Country artist Jamie Wyatt is bringing her unique style to her performances and her songwriting craft. Wyatt is a distinguished artist whose hard-scrabble life has led to sobriety and embracing her queer identity

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Nov. 27-Dec. 10, 2020

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life

Holiday Wish Lists Needs Support Community Agencies, Orgs and More Share Hopes for the Season

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By Lainey Millen | QNotes Staff Writer

•D ry soup he past months have •C anned meat-vienna saupresented more exsage, tuna traordinary challenges •C offee (ground), tea for our world than we •C anned beans (pinto, would have ever thought black, kidney) possible — pandemic, •C anned mixed veggies social unrest, political strife, •N uts (pecans, walnuts, weather disasters and almonds, peanuts) more. Those who provide •Q uick and easy (canned services to the LGBTQ ravioli, spaghetti) community and others have had their fair share PrideLink of difficulties through it all Greenville, SC and could certainly use a 864-395-3737 bit of assistance from those pridelink.org. around them.

•D esks (up to 10, prefer qnotes reached out adjustable sit to stand to a number of churches, desks) service organizations and • Computer chairs (up to 10) agencies, AIDS support •L aptops, desktop and groups and community monitors, keyboards, mice centers, among others, (up to 12) to see what their needs •F unds to go toward openwere for the 2020 holiday ing up an LGBTQ commuseason. Here is a list of nity wellness center (ow. those who responded to ly/UToq50CmQCp) our call. Of course, there Across the Carolinas, organizations and other support agencies are in need of items to help both their efforts and well as providing those they are many more who could serve with valuable resources. (Photo Credit: jivimages via Adobe Stock) RAIN use assistance, be it items 601 E. 5th St., Suite 470 for food pantries, goods for Charlotte, NC 28202 Mr. Clean operations, gifts-in-kind, • Body lotion 704-973-9818 • Household items and most especially, funds to help make • Dish soap carolinarain.org.

XL garbage bags up the shortfalls that have plagued those • Paper towels •$ 25 gift cards to Walmart and Food Lion Toilet paper who serve the community during these • Toilet paper •A mazon Wish List items — bit.ly/RAINCLT Towels stressful days. Be it one of those listed • Razors Such as Washcloths below or others, if budgets permit, share • Toothpaste Snack bars Paper towels with those who could use the support dur• Toothbrushes Instant noodles Hand sanitizer ing the season of giving.

• Tampons Cracker Kleenex • Shaving cream Snacks for client usage For Staff/Facility: Carolinas CARE Partnership • Laundry detergent Food preparation paper goods (cups, • Sheets 5855 Executive Center Dr. containers, plates, cutlery) • Vacuum Charlotte, NC 28212 House of Mercy • Carts 704-531-2467 100 McAuley Cir. Time Out Youth Center • Storage cabinets carolinascare.org.

Belmont, NC 28012 3800 Monroe Rd. • Pots and pans Clients: 704-825-4711, 704-825-3000 Charlotte, NC 28205 • Knife sharpener • Personal items thehouseofmercy.org.

704-344-8335 • Paper goods • Move-in Items For Residents: timeoutyouth.org.

• Glitter set Cleaning supplies •C hristmas gifts (the church that usually Annual Give The Gift Campaign Items • Bird/animal feeders Personal supplies does Christmas gifts for residents is not Included are contributions to: Visit bit.ly/HOMWISHES for the complete list.

Bathroom shower curtains and mats going to be able to do that, so House of •A Wish Come True (wish list from youth Kitchen supplies Mercy is in need of things they can use) in need) LGBT Center of Raleigh Air mattresses •M eals and drinks (bottled juice, soda, •F inancial Assistance (Emergency Financial 19 W. Hargett St. Sheets Kool-Aid, Crystal Light, tea bags, Assistance Program/hardship or crisis) Raleigh, NC 27601 Pillows Gatorade) •H ousing (Host Home Program support) 919-832-4484 Blankets • I ndividually wrapped snacks, •L ife Essentials (toiletries and other bare lgbtcenterofraleigh.com.

Office: • Fruit cups necessities) Winter Care Packages for Youth and Seniors • Couch •P antry staples •T ransportation (bus and train passes, • Gloves • Chairs •C anned foods Uber and Lyft gift cards) • Travel-size hand sanitizer •G ift cards (WalMart, Cook Out, Pizza Hut, •F ood (dry goods for food pantry) • Travel-size lotion Dudley’s Place at Rosedale Health and Golden Corral, Tony’s Ice Cream, KFC, •C ommunication (cell phones) Mutual aid food pantry Wellness Dairy Queen, local restaurants) •A rt (supplies for creativity) • Canned goods (vegan only) 103 Commerce Centre Cr., Suite 103 •P ersonal care products •L aundry (laundry pods, bleach pods or • Pasta Huntersville, NC 28078 Dove soap (bar or liquid) crystals, dryer sheets) • Tomato sauce 704-948-8582 Dove body wash •F un (video games, prizes, give-aways) • Rice myrosedalehealth.com/dudley.

Deodorant •F inancial Support (tax deductible contri• Granola bars (vegan only) Food Resources: Shampoo butions) • Oatmeal (vegan only) • Gift cards to Harris Teeter or Food Lion in Conditioner •O perational Support (office supplies, bev$25 denominations Triple-blade razors erages, cleaning supplies, paper goods, Loving Food Resources Personal Care Items: Vaseline tissue, etc.)

123 Kenilworth Rd. Shop online via Amazon at the following Chapstick •E ducation (current fiction and non-fiction Asheville, NC 28003 link — smile.amazon.com/hz/charitylist/ Flushable wipes literature on LGBTQ topics as well as 828-255-9282 ls/3UQFLSWV5DOTN or drop off any of the •C leaning products other items to assist with outreach and lovingfood.org. following items in person at the Rosedale Liquid laundry educational efforts) • Boxed breakfast cereal Health and Wellness’s office.

Liquid dish detergent Visit timeoutyouth.org/givethegift for the • Cooking oil • Shampoo Clorox complete list.

• Soups (hearty and chunky) • Body wash, Lysol

Nov. 27-Dec. 10, 2020

qnotes

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BRIEFS

news

Trans ban hurt military

RAIN Founder Announces Retirement

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — RAIN has announced that its CEO and president, Debbie Warren, will be retiring in January 2021 from the HIV service organization she founded 28 years ago.

RAIN was born in 1992 out of necessity due to the overwhelming HIV/AIDS epidemic. “Many of us in the LGBTQ community were caring for our friends and working to serve the community at the same time. So many people with HIV feared that they might die alone, and I was so deeply moved by that,” Warren shared.

Warren started the Regional AIDS Interfaith Network (RAIN, which became the organization’s official name in 2014) to connect people in faith communities with those who were ill with AIDS and too weak to perform activities like getting groceries or picking up medication. “I knew that these two groups had to be brought together for healing. That’s when I started organizing AIDS Care Teams and matching them with Care Partners who were very sick with AIDS.” Through her work, she has helped to ensure access to quality, personalized care in a nurturing environment for individuals and their families who are living with HIV and associated chronic conditions.

For those who know Warren, they have seen her constant cheerful and positive posture in the wake of experiencing incredible losses.

Maintaining that came with a stark decision in the early days as to how she could best serve those around her. “Early on I realized that I needed help to process the losses, as well as the challenges of keeping the organization going. I found a good counselor, and I continue working with a counselor to this day. I need the support and perspective that she provides. Getting together with friends, time away, my faith community (Myers Park Baptist), and practices like yoga and guided meditation also help very much. I love seeing people out at various community events — that always brings me a lot of joy. We have a rich community that means a great deal to me.”

A fierce advocate, in 2010 Warren joined fellow experts on HIV/ AIDS at the White House as part of a dialogue on the role of publicprivate partnerships in the National HIV/AIDS Strategy. Under her guidance, RAIN became a national powerhouse of education and advocacy, promoting disease prevention, understanding and dignity for those affected by HIV, those who are at risk of infection and their families, the organization shared. Warren was a a previous recipient of the Ford Foundation Leadership for a Changing World Award.

She has expressed that she has drawn inspiration from and has witnessed heroes spring forth from the community. “The people who served our community while they were dealing with their own HIV diagnosis/mortality inspired me. I often reference my friends Henry Finch and Jim Richards who died as a result of AIDS in the 1990s. They helped with early AIDS work here in Charlotte. There were several RAIN clients who accompanied me to various faith and community events to tell their stories — even on nights when they did not feel well. I often feel that I’m carrying their legacy forward with the work we are doing today.”

But this did not come without challenges.

“In the early days of RAIN’s formation, I knew absolutely nothing about nonprofits, grants, fundraising, managing a board or technology. The image of a sharpened pencil and legal pad come to mind.

I was constantly working at my growing edges — learning to do something while doing it. It was stressful. Fortunately, I worked with some terrific board members and colleagues who gave me a lot of grace and advice,” she remarked. She added, “The Great Recession was very difficult. We were not able to maintain staffing levels, and fundraising was very challenging.” And, in more current times, she shared, “The pandemic brought challenges I had never experienced. We had to quickly figure out how to care for our clients and staff and keep everyone safe. It’s been hard to see so many of our clients lose jobs or have their work hours reduced this year. A lot of our work has been focused on keeping people fed and housed. And again, there’s the uncertainty of fundraising with virtual events.”

But that did not tamper down her energy and drive. “I’ve always believed in shared leadership, and RAIN is fortunate to have a great staff. We worked together to come up with a plan for sheltering in place and other challenges all along the way this year. Really, since the beginning, it’s the commitment, goodness and fortitude of the people working alongside me that sustain me during any challenging time. We have several long-tenured staff members at RAIN and a rich resource of community supporters who are always ready to pitch in and do what they can. It’s their generous spirit that sustains me.”

Warren’s accomplishments have been many over her career and when asked what she felt was the largest, most significant one, she shared, “I’m very proud of the fact we’ve always remained sensitive

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to the daily struggles of our clients — individuals who have honored RAIN with their trust. I’m also very proud that RAIN has grown in its capacity to meet the shifting needs of HIV. The initial model grew awareness and compassionate care to all corners of the community.”

As the HIV epidemic changed over the past two decades, so did RAIN, under Warren’s direction. RAIN’s services grew to include medical case management, bilingual education and case management, prevention programs, youth and adult support groups, mental health services, advocacy and education.

The organization expanded its staff size and client numbers have grown, as well as its capacity to meet the shifting needs of those with HIV, Warren said.

RAIN has positioned itself to care for those who need medical care and test individuals out in the community. The organization also helps individuals find treatment if needed, partners to prevent HIV with PrEP, cares for mental health, assists with insurance enrollment, supports youth and young adults and contributes to critical research.

As far as the complexion of the work of the work that Warren and RAIN have done over the years, she shared, “In the early years of our work, we knew that our clients would not be able to live more than a year or two. We offered companionship and practical support to ease the isolation and anxiety. Today our role at RAIN is to help people overcome barriers that would keep them from obtaining optimal health. It’s clear that it takes more than medications to end the HIV epidemic. We are there with support when events disrupt treatment — loss of employment, housing or other crisis. RAIN has a critical role in helping people process the painful emotions that can accompany an HIV diagnosis. We have grown in our capacity to offer holistic care for all of these issues — I’m very proud of that.”

Twenty-eight years of service have added to the landscape Gay Bingo and the annual AIDS Walk, as well as World AIDS Day events.

But when she started RAIN, her expectations were more targeted.

“Honestly, I was very focused on the immediacy of caring for people who were very sick and were afraid that they might die alone. We wanted to make sure we had a strong volunteer network to support the number of people needing care. We also wanted to dispel myths and misinformation, so we did a lot of education in faith communities and other settings. I never thought HIV would become such a public health challenge in the South. Everyone referenced case numbers in New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco in the early days. When researchers started documenting the impact of stigma, homophobia, racism and other types of disparities, the Southern epidemic made sense. Even so, it’s still hard to see,” she recounted.

“The timing is really good for both RAIN and for me,” Warren said of her departure.

Prior to making the decision to retire, she spent time working on how to best leave the organization she helped birth so that it would have a sustainable success.

“AIDS United recognized that the group of Baby Boomers who were founders and long-tenured executives of AIDS organizations would all be retiring at about the same time. They offered training through their Sector Transformation Program with Raffa Consulting in Washington, D.C. A thoughtful transition takes several years to complete. The timing is really good for both RAIN and for me. RAIN is well positioned for a strong, vibrant future. I am excited about the commitment and enthusiasm of young staff and board members. They are amazing — brilliant and creative — and they use all kinds of creative processes to reach people. RAIN’s board and staff care deeply about serving our community and work with incredible medical and research partners. I feel confident that I can entrust this incredible organization with its current and future leaders, enough so that I can continue toward my life’s next explorations.

The partnership between client and community is what brings success. RAIN provides not only for its clients, but for the entire community. When people are well enough to contribute their talents, wisdom and experience, especially from their hardships, we all learn and grow. Charlotte needs all of its people’s participation. I hope that individuals and corporations continue to see and support that value.”

For the foreseeable future upon her retirement, she simply wants to rest first before she tries her hand in other endeavors. “I look forward to having the luxury of time. Time in my garden; time to finish the clay sculptures I’ve started in my studio. Time to reflect, read, and to plan. Travel that energizes me and reminds me of the power of nature. I love our national parks — I hope to visit more of those in the coming years.

A successor for Debbie has been identified and RAIN expects to make the name public before the end of the year. info: carolinarain.org.

— Compiled by Lainey Millen

The Washington Post reported that the Trump administration’s ban on transgender individuals serving in the military “eroded the military’s ability to fight and win wars by narrowing its recruiting pool and lowering morale among transgender troops exempt from the policy,” said a former top military physicians said in a Palm Center study.

info: wapo.st/338EP68.

Clemson U. to add LGBTQ housing

For the fall 2021 term, Clemson University will be adding its first LGBTQ “living learning community” to its dorm offerings for 20 LGBTQ and allied students, the Greenville News and WSPA reported. “Lavender Place” will be housed in Gressett Hall in the Core Campus area. This initiative was brought about due to complaints that there was no targeted safe space for LGBTQ students.

info: bit.ly/2Ht1eUc. bit.ly/2KzEhA2.

Computer giant makes apology

IBM recently apologized to Lynn Conway, a transgender computer engineer who was a pioneer in the field, for firing her 52 years ago.

info: bit.ly/35XEaXl.

Trans killer sentenced

Andrew Vrba has been ordered to spend life in prison without parole for killing a transgender teen whose burned remains were found three years ago in southwest Missouri, The Associated Press reported.

info: bit.ly/2J5SXWE.

Guilford telethon nets procedes

On Nov. 19, the Guilford Green Foundation & LGBTQ Center raised $62,000 to support their center during a telethon. They still have more to raise to reach their $75,000 goal and are still accepting contributions. To help Guilford’s efforts, text GGF to 44-321 or make an online donation.

info: guilfordgreenfoundation.org/donate.

ECU fundraiser bolsters fund

WITN reported that is Love Wins fundraiser at Eastern Carolina University in Greenville, N.C. for its LGBTQ community has netted $15,000 for the LGBTQ Priority Fund.

info: bit.ly/2UQANuV.

Longhorn State condemns board

The Texas GSA Network has condemned the Texas State Board of Education’s endangering of Texas students through their decision to exclude lessons on consent and material relevant to LGBTQ youth in updates to the sexual health education curricula requirements.

info: txgsa.org.

Mississippi welcomes first reconciling church

The Reconciling Ministries Network has reported that Broadmeadow United Methodist Church, located in Jackson, Miss., has become the first Mississippi church to join the global Reconciling movement for LGBTQ justice and inclusion in The United Methodist Church.

info: rmnetwork.org.

March seeks interest contacts

The Womxn’s March on Raleigh, slated for January 2021, is currently soliciting the names of those who would be interested in helping with the organizational efforts for the event, as well as others who may want to participate in the action. Information requests are currently being gathered online.

info: bit.ly/3mcfvUF.

see next page u

Trans author dies

British Jan Morris, the celebrated journalist, historian world traveler and fiction writer who in middle age became a pioneer of the transgender movement, has died at 94.

info: bit.ly/371bjRd.

State writes in protections into law

Nevada has become the first state in the U.S. to officially protect same-sex marriage into its constitution, The Associated Press reported. The “wedding capital of the world” had the measure on its 2020 ballot and voters gave it a thumbs up.

info: bit.ly/2J2vJkK.

Blog posts two same-sex union perspectives

New Ways Ministry’s Executive Director Francis DeBernardo has shared that his organization has posted two blog post essays by Catholic theologians who show some important unacknowledged LGBTQ-positive ramifications of Pope Francis’ recent comments in support of civil unions. They are located at bit. ly/2J7wngh and bit.ly/2J9qBe4.

info: newwaysministry.org.

Attacks increase toward LGBTQ community

The Human Rights Campaign has shared that FBI data depicted high levels of hate crimes — and an increase in those targeting LGBTQ people. The report showed that hate crimes based on sexual orientation represent 16.7 percent of hate crimes, the third largest category after race and religion. The report also showed an uptick in gender-identitybased hate crimes rising from 2.2 percent in 2018 to 2.7 percent in 2019.

info: bit.ly/3nTObuL.

Black Transgender Southerners’ Encounter Health and Healthcare Disparity

ASHEVILLE, N.C. — The Campaign for Southern Equality (CSE) and Western North Carolina Community Health Services (WNCCHS) released a new report about the health experiences of Black Transgender Southerners, as a supplement to The Report of the 2019 Southern LGBTQ Health Survey. The publication of the report coincided with Transgender Awareness week.

The report, “The Health Experiences of Black Transgender Southerners,” includes responses from 131 Black transgender Southerners, a cohort from among the more than 5,600 LGBTQ Southerners who took the 2019 Southern LGBTQ Health Survey, which was the the largest sample ever of LGBTQ Southerners focused on health and healthcare., the organization stated.

Key finding include: • Less than half of Black transgender respondents said that they always or often had positive experiences with physical (49.7 percent) or mental healthcare (42.3 percent) providers, which is “significantly worse” than the experiences of the overall sample (of whom 64.3 percent and 47.0 percent said they always or often have positive experiences with physical health and mental health providers, respectively).

• Compared to the overall survey sample, Black transgender respondents reported significantly higher rates of depression (68.7 percent, or 14 points higher than overall sample), self-harming behaviors (26.7 percent, more than 6 points higher than the overall sample) and suicidal ideation (38.2 percent, 12 points higher than the overall sample).

• In the survey, 27.5 percent of Black transgender respondents reported living with HIV, compared to 5 percent of the overall sample. Black transgender respondents reported more knowledge and comfort related to HIV prevention and testing than our overall survey sample and were tested for HIV more frequently, with 67.1 percent getting tested at least yearly compared to 38.9 percent of the overall sample.

Community Health Program Director of Campaign for Southern Equality Ivy Hill said, “As a transgender leader in the South, I know how strong and resilient transgender people are — but to read about respondents’ struggles with mental health challenges, depression and anxiety, and getting access to quality, affirming care breaks my heart. We’ve long known that Black transgender people in the South are some of the most vulnerable folks in our community, and this report details new data that provides additional insights. Everyone should be able to access the care they need, and we must work to strategically to implement both anti-racist and trans-affirming health care practices.

Led by a team of LGBTQ Southerners, the Southern LGBTQ Health Survey was rooted in community-based research methods, including working with a team of survey ambassadors who spanned the region and who included a minister, a nightclub promoter and grassroots leaders. The project is part of the Southern LGBTQ Health Initiative, a collaboration of CSE and WNCCHS to improve access to LGBTQfriendly primary care, HIV care and support services across the South. In addition to community-based research, this initiative involves training primary care providers in affirming healthcare practices and providing direct funding to grassroots groups leading innovations in access to LGBTQ healthcare. info: bit.ly/3nOJ7Yr. southernequality.org.

— Compiled by Lainey Millen

Nov. 27-Dec. 10, 2020

qnotes

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life

Charlotte Gaymers Network

Group Brings Fun, Connection to a Locked-Down World During COVID-19

By Chris Rudisill | QNotes Contributor taurants or businesses, have been mostly off-limits. Barrio and Smith credit the early growth of Charlotte Gaymers Network, which now has over 412 members on its Facebook page, to this need for inclusive socialization. Like bars, the group even enjoys having a resident deejay and drag queen. Most of their events have been online, but they did host a Halloween “gaymer gathering” at Tabbris Innovation Center in Southend with local drag queen Lilli Frost, who was one of the early people in that Facebook messenger chat with Barrio and Smith.

They limited attendance to 25 people, following Gov. Roy Cooper’s restrictions, and required everyone to wear a mask and undergo a temperature check at the door. They hope to bring back these in-person events in the future, but for now are focused on keeping members engaged online. Smith points out that in-person events sold out in less than 45 minutes.

Tournament Time

Charlotte Gaymers Network participants (from left to right) Nathan Gellin, Nathan Mundo, Zach Smith, CG “Shuma” Nobles, Roger Brendle, Caliph Smith

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or Zach Smith, gaming has been a safe space for much of his life. “Some of my first memories are of playing video games,” he says.

Smith, who is the executive director of the Charlotte Gaymers Network, remembers playing on a Sega Genesis with his sister when he was young. “For me, growing up and getting bullied as a gay kid, video games were a safe haven — an escape to sort of not face the kind of cruddy reality I was facing at the moment,” says Smith. “I think that’s why they became so important to me.”

Now, he and others in Charlotte are creating that same environment for the LGBTQ community — often in a virtual way during the COVID-19 pandemic. On July 6, Smith and Jonathan Barrio started talking about gaming after realizing there was a subset of Queen City Prism members, which Barrio also helped found, who were into the hobby or sport.

What started as a small conversation of about 15 people meeting for happy hour gaming sessions every day after work soon grew into a massive group of LGBTQ

Lilli Sareena Frost puts a little kicking action into a game move during a recent COVID-19 event experience.

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Nov. 27-Dec. 10, 2020

gamers, or as they like to say “gaymers.” During the pandemic-caused quarantine, gaming helped break the monotony of being stuck at home and provided a social outlet for people.

“This is something that people need and want and desire, especially in the middle of this pandemic,” says Barrio.

The two say they grew closer to members of Prism through the subject of gaming and attribute much of that early success to Animal Crossing: New Horizons.

This latest release of Nintendo’s social stimulation video game came out on March 20, just as lockdowns were reshaping lives across North Carolina and the nation. According to the game’s website, Animal Crossing allows you to “create your personal island paradise on a deserted island brimming with possibility.” In 2020, that thought sounds very appealing.

A Twitter video on the day of release prompted widespread cheer from LGBTQ gamers when a character called Merry gushes about her love of comics and romantic comedies, referencing a princess whose “true love” is another princess. The subtle nod did not go unnoticed by fans and set off a tweet storm of acceptance and visibility among LGBTQ gamers around the world.

As the pandemic raged on, traditional safe spaces of the LGBTQ community, like gay bars and gay-owned res-

Taking a short break from game play are (left ot right) Dylan Ritch and Alan Michael Skirnick

Charlotte Gaymers Network launched its first tournament in October as well. Smith describes the event as “Iron Man-style” with games every week that focus on a different genre. The tournament started with 22 people and there are 10 to 11 people still competing as they enter into the final weeks of play. Participants pick a game from a pre-selected pool that the group’s board of directors have identified. Players rack up points each week and the top four will compete on Dec. 5 for the grand prize, a Dell gaming laptop.

The prize was donated by an anonymous community member, which shows the generosity that continues to amaze Barrio and Smith. Events have been sponsored by local businesses like Charlotte’s Pure Pizza and have garnered the support of Charlotte Esports’ C.J. Collins, who founded the Charlotte Phoenix, a professional esports team.

This helps ensure events by Charlotte Gaymers Network remain free for anyone to participate, something Barrio points out as very appealing for companies right now trying to reach people in different ways. “What we found so interesting about Charlotte Gaymers Network is that there is a passion there that is ignited because whether you’re 50 or you’re 19 — a gamer is a gamer,” he says. “That’s a level playing field for everybody, no matter what your class is, your background, your place in corporate America — whatever it may be. As a gamer, we’re all on the same playing field.”

Pointing out the “pay to play” style of LGBTQ events in many cities like Charlotte, Barrio says that the accessibility of gaming is a positive for many in the community. Their motto is “never a cover, always a group.”

Getting in on the the gaming event fun are participants (left to right) Matthew Morrow, Michael Martines and Christopher McKinnis see next page u

Jonathan Barrio

Zach Smith

As that group continues to grow, Barrio says the board of directors (yes, they are working to become a 501(c)(3) non-profit) hope to expand beyond Charlotte and eventually create the Carolinas Gayming Network.

They are also moving beyond video games and have started a series that teaches people how to play the fantasy tabletop role-playing game, Dungeons & Dragons. Using programs like Berserk Games’ Tabletop Simulator, they can keep things virtual until it is safe to gather in-person, at which point they plan to relaunch the popular gaymer gatherings. “We’re really looking to expand and deliver more digital content to our members so that we can keep them engaged,” says Smith.

Through it all, Barrio and Smith say it is all about creating welcoming spaces for LGBTQ people. In his LGBTQ History Project story, “Press A, Be Gay: LGBTQ Representation in Video Games” that appeared in qnotes on Oct. 5, Jason Villemez said “like most businesses dominated first by white heterosexual men, inclusivity was not a priority for game designers and publishers.” Queer representation in video games was subtle, at most, and Villemez points out that the medium still has room for improvement and growth.

Charlotte Gaymers Network partnered with Potions and Pixels for an event earlier this month on the groundbreaking Tell Me Why game, which revolves around the experiences of a transgender man and his sister. Barrio was joined by Jenny Jaymes-Gunn from Charlotte Pride and the National Organization for Women to play the game together. “It’s amazing to see video games telling these kinds of stories now,” says Barrio.

So, for those looking for a new fun group to be a part of, or to learn something new during the lockdown, the Charlotte Gaymers Network is welcoming to all and just may be the place to find some friends as the world wraps up this unusual year. They host weekly events on Discord at discord.gg/NnRHSvf and post most of their updates, including livestreaming events, on the group’s Facebook page atfacebook.com/charlottegaymersnetwork. Readers can also search for Charlotte Gaymers Network on Twitch and Youtube. com to learn more. : :

Jenny Jaymes-Gunn is all set to play at a recent Charlotte Gaymers Network event. qnotes is part of six major media companies and other local institutions reporting on and engaging the community around the problems and solutions as they relate to the COVID-19 pandemic. It is a project of the Charlotte Journalism Collaborative, which is supported by the Local Media Project, an initiative launched by the Solutions Journalism Network with support from the Knight Foundation to strengthen and reinvigorate local media ecosystems. See all of our reporting at charlottejournalism.org.

Nov. 27-Dec. 10, 2020

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Holiday Gift Guide, 2020 Local Buying Options Provide Unique Alternatives

By Chris Rudisill | QNotes Contributor

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s COVID-19 cases surge across the state, the holidays are sure to look different this year. Resisting the urge to host parties or see family (in person) could just save a life, and with potential lockdowns looming, this year’s gift guide was created with the pandemic in mind.

All the research was done from the safety of home and all the retailers included had to offer delivery or minimal-contact pickup. This year’s list also includes locations in Charlotte, Raleigh and the Triad and is focused on those locally-owned businesses listed at area LGBTQ chambers or community centers and foundations.

There are some unique options this year to spread the holiday shopping, so pull up your laptop or phone and start shopping.

The Queen City Resident Culture Brewing Company 2101 Central Ave., Charlotte, N.C. Founded in 2017, the Charlotte-based brewery has been called one of the nation’s “elite.” Just days after the pandemic caused them to close their taproom, Resident Culture owners setup a drive-through.

Beers are available in four-packs of bottles or cans, and the company has custom merchandise, including a new “super soft &

launched Charlotte Edition: Coffee for the Front Lines on GoFundMe.com. The project raises money to provide coffee, bakery items and vegan/vegetarian meals delivered to local hospital workers. Order your holiday treats at easidelocaleatery.com or click the “How You Can Help!” button at the top of the page to be linked to the project.

This fitness and dance studio opened in the middle of the pandemic and featured Erica Chanel as a special MC and performer during its September grand opening with a percentage of their sales donated to Charlotte Black Pride. Virtual classes are available from $30 to $60 on polebodyarts.com.

super sexy” hooded sweatshirt just in time for the colder temperatures. Order online at residentculturebrewing.com.

Eastside Local 3102 Eastway Dr., Charlotte, N.C. Whether you’re looking for a sweet treat for your vegan friend or wanting to try a healthy holiday meal, Eastway Local offers contactless pickup. Their Bitchin’ Brownie Bites are special order and come in coconut, double chocolate or orange varieties and the café features full holiday menus ready to order. If you’re looking for ways to help a local healthcare hero this season, Eastside Local, Move That Dough Baking Company and Dream Out Loud Media have

Moxie Mercantile 2008 Commonwealth Ave., Charlotte, N.C. The Plaza-Midwood boutique gift shop launched a mobile version of the store called “Mabel” and started doing pop-ups around town after the pandemic began.

The owner, Michelle Catelloe, even landed a grant to buy a second custom cart and you can follow Mabel’s moves on the retailer’s Facebook or Instagram. Shop online at moxiemercantile.com, where you’ll find a variety of gift options.

Pole Body & Arts 9539 Pinnacle Dr., Unit 350, Charlotte, N.C.

White Rabbit 920 Central Ave., Charlotte, N.C. Our Charlotte holiday list isn’t complete without including White Rabbit, a retailer serving the LGBTQ community for decades. The store offers an array of cards, books, movies, gifts, adult novelties, designer underwear and all things gay. While the store is still open and taking precautions for COVID-safety, you can also call in an order at 704-377-4067 for contactless pickup. See something on the retailer’s Facebook.com/whiterabbitstore page and call ahead for options.

The Triangle Western Dragon Teas and Tisanes Online, Raleigh, N.C. You can find this local tea company at locations around the Raleigh-Durham area, but online shopping is the best option during the pandemic at see next page u

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westerndragonteasandtisanes.com/. The company offers complimentary shipping on two or more orders throughout the U.S. and complimentary delivery in the Triangle area. Check out their “Teas for the Soul” collection, sold by the ounce — something that’s definitely needed this year. Some favorites include Trans-Tea, LGB-Tea, Holiday by the Fireplace, and Immune Bender.

serves eight and the $18 small serves four.

Options include Harvest Pie (pear, apple and cranberry with an oatmeal crumb topping), Sweet Potato, Pumpkin Cream, Southern Pecan and Chocolate Chess. The market is offering take-out, curbside and some delivery options. For Christmas Day, you must pre-order by Dec. 22. For details, visit Facebook.com/acadiafoodsws/.

The Green Monkey 1217 Hillsborough St., Raleigh, N.C. The local gift gallery and craft beer bar represents over 35 local artists from around North Carolina. Rusty Sutton and Drew Temple opened The Green Monkey in 2013 as a “safe place for everyone” to

Cozy Calla Lilly Boutique 2915 Battleground Ave., Suite H, Greensboro, N.C. This women’s online clothing store offers a variety of gift options, accessories, jewelry, shoes and more. You can shop online at cozycalla lily.com or download the retailers mobile app for easier shopping and live sales. The boutique’s “Holly Jolly Gift Guide” features holiday masks and hand sanitizers for perfect COVID stocking stuffers.

shop and feel welcome after several years at the Raleigh Flea Market, where they were the first shop to sell Pride-themed gifts. Shop online for holiday gift sets and more at greenmonkeyraleigh.com.

Quail Ridge Books 4209-100 Lassiter Mill Rd., Raleigh, N.C. Raleigh’s community bookstore is now offering free media mail shipping and con-

tactless pickup and has moved its long list of events to virtual format. Check out the Staff Picks Booklist or the Local N.C. sections to find that unique gift, or set up an account and wish list to send out to your friends and family at quailridgebooks.com.

The Triad Acadia Foods Market & Deli 228 W. Acadia Ave., Winston-Salem, N.C. This deli, coffee shop and market says its goal is to provide Winston-Salem with healthy alternatives, and it’s a perfect spot for holiday pies. At $28 a large pie

Shelf Life Art & Supply Co. Online only, based in Greensboro, N.C. The perfect local online spot for any artist on your gift list. After six years, the company had to close its storefront in July and is now growing its onlineonly operations.

From origami sets and craft kits to a full supply of art supplies, you can order online at shelflifeart.com and the company is offering free shipping for any orders of $15 or more.

A/perture Cinema 311 W. 4th St., Winston-Salem, N.C. With entertainment options limited and many theatres shuttered, A/perture Cinema is offering ways to make it a movie night at home. With online rentals of indie films and Movie Party Boxes you can still enjoy the experience. The limited edition movie party box includes candy and other goodies, gourmet popcorn recipes created by staff, house party movie trivia, discount codes to other local businesses and a copy of Southern Stories, a curated collection of short films from filmmakers that A/perture has hosted in the past.

The price is $50 and local delivery is offered for orders within a 20 mile radius of the theatre. Shipping is also available. See aperture cinema.com/ for more information.

Nov. 27-Dec. 10, 2020

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SPONSORED CONTENT

Diversity Book Drive

…Holiday Partnership Brings Diversity, Inclusion to Children Rosedale Health and Wellness wanted to do something special this holiday season, so when Stonewall Sports reached out about partnering on their Diversity Book Drive, Rosedale jumped at the idea. The two organizations have worked together on many other projects in the past, but this one is very special to both organizations.

Wythe Newberry, a CMS teacher and Stonewall Sports volunteer, had the idea, along with Dale Pierce (CFO at Rosedale) to create a program that helped get books into the hands of young people in our area that helped spread a message of inclusion and compassion. The drive, which kicked off last week, focuses on getting five very different and individual books that can share the message of inclusion and diversity.

The organizations have created Amazon links so that the community can purchase one or two books or a whole “set” of all five books that were chosen. Once they collect all the donations (the drive ends on January 4, 2021), the team will identify children to share the books with. The children will be invited to readings of the books with their parents or guardians, and then the children get to take a copy of the books home with them. In addition, the parents or guardians will be given specific learning materials with follow up lessons and conversation starters so that they can continue the dialogue and learning each time they read the books at home. The plan is to schedule the readings for at least 100 children in this inaugural year; each book being read once a month from January through May of 2021. The series will focus on five books in particular this year: Red, A Crayon’s Story, by Michael Hall; One, by Kathryn Otosi; The Family

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Book, by Todd Parr; Amazing Grace, by Mary Hoffman; and Tango Makes Three,

by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell.

“The books focus on inclusion, what different families look like, even antibullying is addressed,” says Newberry.

The hope is that the books will help inspire conversations with parents and children to address these issues and hopefully create an atmosphere that fosters these kids to be more accepting of others’ differences. In addition to the “lessons learned,” this will also keep kids reading! The desire is that if the program garners good results this year, next year it can be expanded and become an annual tradition around the holidays. What better feeling to give a child a book that could spark a change in them to help make the world more accepting and compassionate?

Rosedale Health and Wellness is committed to not just their clients, but our entire community. When the idea of a partnership came up, Dr. Frederick Cruickshank, medical director and owner of Rosedale, committed to match funds up to $2,500 after the books are collected! “My hope is that the matching funds will supplement what may not get purchased to meet the goal, or even better, it could allow for more children to be a part of the program,” said Cruickshank. Rosedale felt that the partnership was ideal because of the desire of both organizations to lead by example in the Charlotte community around diversity and inclusion. Rosedale, while primarily an HIV

clinic, is starting to offer more general medicine services to the entire LGBTQIA+ community. The vision at Stonewall Sports Charlotte is that EVERY person should have the ability to feel comfortable playing organized sports and that we have the responsibility to give back to our community.

To find out more about how you can contribute to the cause and help children get these books in their hands, visit www.myrosedalehealth.com/dudley or call 704-977-2972 for more information.

life

The Ultimate Guide to Gay Gift Giving 2020 Unique Items for Someone Special

BY Mikey Rox | Guest Contributor

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n a year filled with more craziness than any of us ever expected, at least we have the holidays. What will they look like this year? Bright, beautiful and back to basics. Treat yourself and your loved ones to these come-on-be-happy presents hand-picked for LGBTQ+ friends and family.

We Are Beautiful Ring There wasn’t much glitter or glam in The Year That Wasn’t, but you can change that. Onehundred percent of proceeds from Pharoun’s 22k gold, rainbow-edged We Are Beautiful cocktail ring (also available in sterling silver) will benefit civil-rights organization Southerners on New Ground. $115-$145. pharaoun.com.

Therapeutic Journal Stressed? Join the club — if clubs were a thing right now.

Until then, try the Write Here & Tear therapeutic journal, which encourages users to jot down their troubles then tear ’em up.

Journaling and paper tearing have proven results, too, with 55 percent of survey respondents reporting relief and another 35 percent relaxation. $20. shop.nicolerussell.com.

Queer Agenda Card Game Made by and for the LGBTQ+ community, the Queer Agenda card game prompts players to participate in rowdy dares and answer inappropriate questions — because you’re goddamn right it should. $25. fitzgames.com.

Embossed Rolling Pin Imprint whimsical holiday scenes — including detailed snowflakes, trees and reindeer — onto sugar cookies, piecrusts and even pastas from solid beech wood rolling pins that’ll give Martha a run for her bakingmaven money. $35. embossedco.com.

Rainbow Safety Razor Iridescent anodized zinc and brass alloy add a splash of queer panache to your Dopp kit on a safety razor — cant be too careful in Final Destination 2020 — that changes appearance depending how light hits it. Just like you, boo. $30. shave.net.

Gummy Sweat Treat Tower Taste the rainbow of a foot-high sweets tower from Dylan’s Candy Bar — including bears (gummy ones, of course), Razzmataz rainbow bites, red Australian licorice and sour poppers (not the kind you’re used to) — packaged in striped, tiered boxes and tied with a bow. $50. dylanscandybar.com.

Heated Towel Rack Spas and bathhouses were but a memory this year, but you can bask in hot hugs from the comfort of your own home. This heated towel rack keeps your fluffy terrys dry and 90 percent more hygienic between washes — an appreciated feature during a COVID-19 Christmas. $500+. bathroombutleronline.com.

Holiday Icon Dessert Set Set your sociallydistanced dessert table in style with Molly Hatch’s modern heirloom ceramic plates and mugs featuring matching icon prints of candy canes, Christmas trees, gingerbread folx, holly, ice skates and snowflakes. $16-$18 each. mollyhatch.com.

Sustainable Swabs and Tissues LastSwab and LastTissue replace single-use Q-Tips and Kleenex for convenient, washable, good-foryou-and-the-environment stocking stuffers. Because there is no Planet B. $12-$24. lastobject.com.

#FakeFacts Game No, this card game isn’t based on Donald Trump’s presidency — not entirely, at least — but it will provide hours of fun trying to identify and fool others with bizarre, surprising and unpredictable trivia.

Easy to play virtually over Zoom, too. $15. thegamecrafter.com.

Craft Caribbean Rum You can file the bright and radiant Don Q Reserve 7 aged Puerto Rican rum under “Fucking Necessary,” and serve it on the rocks at this year’s six-feet-from-insanity holiday party. $25. donq.com.

Spongebob Pride Pop! Pride celebrations were largely cancelled this year — because what wasn’t — but you can shine on anytime of year, queer, with a Funko Pop! Pride stocking stuffer in the form of verified gay-con Spongebob Squarepants. $11. funko.com.

Robot Vacuum Yeedi’s K650 automated vacuum — boasting bigger suction, less noise, high-efficiency filtration and made of durable anti-scratch tempered glass — lessens the Cinderell-y workload while you work from home. $220. amazon.com.

Pot for Pot Kit Pot for Pot DIY cannabis growing kits produce up to eight ounces of ganj in 80 days so you can turn your kitchen, patio or desk with natural or artificial light into a money-saving personal dispensary. Ships to all 50 states — and states of mind. $100. apotforpot.com.

Evil Eye Earrings Fourteen-karat-gold evil-eye earrings encrusted with .08 carats of diamonds will provide cheeky edge to a New Year’s Eve look that’s not lookin’ back. 2021 or bust, baby! $260. styletypology.com.

Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBTQ lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He currently lives in his van, ho-ho-hoing around the country. Connect with Mikey on Instagram @mikeyroxtravels.

Nov. 27-Dec. 10, 2020

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views

Strategically Negotiate Your Employment Contract Legal Eagles

BY Sara Shariff, attorney | guest WRITER That’s why it’s essential to understand the terms before you sign the contract, and why you should negotiate the terms if the restrictions are unfair. The key is to leverage any restrictions in your contract so that they match the work you’ll do and the compensation you’ll receive. If you’re comfortable with strict restrictions, for example, then ask for higher compensation or benefits. If you’re willing to forego higher pay, then point out the pay doesn’t justify strict restrictions and ask for certain restrictions to be relaxed or eliminated.

A safe approach is to initiate the conversation by asking questions about the terms of the offer or contract, find no more than five items to negotiate and then ask for the future employer to provide a better offer with justifications about why you think those negotiated terms are fair.

People often miss the window of opportunity to negotiate their employment offer because they were too hesitant or didn’t approach the conversation strategically. I’ve seen this is especially true for minority groups, including LGBTQ employees, and people who don’t come from stable or well-off backgrounds. These employees can be notably less confident and more risk-averse in negotiations. Don’t let that be the case for you.

Getting the full understanding of an employment contract gives job applicants the opportunity to explore further negotiations that may lead to a better It can be challenging to know if a job deal for them. (Photo Credit: Andrey Popov via Adobe Stock) offer is fair or if it’s less than what other employees receive. The U.S. Supreme Court found that LGBTQ individuals are duties and expectations in the contract itself. This is imporhile job prospects during the pandemic might make a protected group from employment discrimination. tant because if your pay matches that of other employees, you inclined to accept the first offer you receive, it’s still This protection also applies if you are denied an offer or then so should your job expectations and duties. reasonable to negotiate your employment contract if you do discriminated against while seeking employment.The U.S. Many employment contracts also include terms that so strategically. Knowing how to negotiate your employment Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) gives allow the employer to control what you can do outside of offer and contract is something that requires preparation, you the right to file a complaint against an employer if the workplace, what grounds there are for termination and the same way that you prepare for an interview. they discriminate against you in not offering you a job, even restrictions that apply after employment termination.

Start by researching the employer and job market make discriminatory remarks or even treat you differently When negotiating your contract, ask questions aimed trends. It will be easier to determine if you need to negotiin their offer of the position. at understanding the terms of the contract first. For ate your job offer if you know what the market expectaSince the legal standard only recently changed in June, instance, if the employment contract has provisions that tions are for your experience in that specific industry. there is definitely still work that needs to be done to enseems vague or overly restrictive, ask about the purpose One key thing to remember is that negotiating begins sure that the rights of the LGBTQ community are protectof those provisions so that you can start a conversation if from your very first interactions with a potential employer. ed when it comes to employment discrimination. Now that changes need to be made to those terms.

From the first email, phone call and interview, you are beyou know your rights and the advantages of negotiating, Employers will often use standard form contracts, which ing assessed as a potential employee, and you should also make sure to negotiate to get the best job offer and the might include restrictions that are unreasonable for your assess the company as a future employer. When you are fair contract you deserve. : : job position or compensation level. A non-compete clause provided with any information about the future employer, is an example. It can control where you’re allowed to work make sure you use that information when reviewing and Sara Shariff is an attorney with Hull and Chandler in Charlotte after your employment contract is terminated. Violating a negotiating your contract. who practices business law and estate planning law. Her fields non-compete clause can lead to lawsuits and paying damHere’s an example of what this looks like. When you ask of expertise include business formation, contracts, corporate ages to the employer and may even jeopardize your future at an interview about the expectations for the position, use transitions and mergers and acquisitions. employment opportunities. the answer they provide and check if they include additional

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Healthier Holiday Recipes

Health & Wellness: All the Flavor, None of the Guilt

BY Jack Kirven | qnotes contributor

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sliced yellow onion. For the Canadian bacon, include the equivalent of four thick slices of traditional bacon. Cut the slices into half-inch pieces and place them on the baking sheet. Sprinkle all the ingredients with one half teaspoon salt and one half teaspoon black pepper.

Bake the ingredients for around 30 minutes or until the sprouts start to brown. Stir the ingredients occasionally.

Once they are out of the oven, drizzle two teaspoons of balsamic vinegar and one teaspoon of either coconut or olive oil. Toss everything together and serve warm.

lthough it has been a very hectic year, 2020 has also been a very fast year. We are quickly approaching 2021, and it is important as much as possible to eat healthy food during uncertain times. Food is medicine, and it can help mitigate the damage our bodies suffer because of stress. You may also find yourself feeling isolated this holiday, as many places are implementing restrictions on group sizes. For this reason, it is important that food be flavorful and comforting as well.

Below are some health-conscious ideas for some traditional holiday recipes. You may find that you even like these better than what you are used to, because they rely more on foods’ natural flavors, as opposed to salt and sugar. Of course, feel free to try your own substitutions as well.

Deceptively Healthy Charcuterie Board

For the meats, be certain to choose options that do not contain the carcinogenic preservatives nitrite or nitrate.

Opt for authentic cured meats like prosciutto, salami and capocollo. Even if you cannot budget for mostly organic options, definitely get them for dairy products. For options free of the toxins that get concentrated in milk, opt for organic and free range cheeses. To cover lots of flavors and textures, include smokey gouda, creamy brie, hard parmesan, alternative option goat cheese and familiar cheddar.

Alternatives to traditional stuffiing bring newness to the table.

(Photo Credit: PXFuel) If you want to include sausage, cook one pound of it. Once it is cooked, put it aside, but keep the drippings.

Finely dice three large onions, eight ounces of button mushrooms and five ribs of celery. Peel and dice one apple. Begin to cook the onions and celery in the drippings, and once they begin to soften add the mushrooms and apple. Once they are cooked, add the sausage back in.

Remove these from the heat, and retrieve the turnips and sweet potatoes once they are ready. Mix all the ingredients together until they are well incorporated and begin to form clumps.

Low carb “fauxtatoes”

Charcuterie boards offer variety and balance to meals.

(Photo Credit: Photographer Kristen via Adobe Stock) Fresh sliced carrot and bell pepper, snap peas, cherry tomatoes and bite-sized broccoli florets add color, fiber and nutrients without added sugar. Grapes and strawberries are also a nice way to offer something fresh that can be nibbled without angst.

For tangy flavor or more chew, include kalamata olives, pickled onions, baby dill pickles and capers. For something sweeter, include fruits that do not have added sugar. For fresh fruit, opt for sliced citrus or rinsed berries, which don’t brown or wilt so quickly as apples, pears and bananas. For dried fruit, go for apricots, sun dried tomatoes and unsweetened cherries.

For crunch, focus more on nuts than crackers.

Generally, almonds are the best option for keeping carbs low. Cashews are amazing in terms of nutrition, but they can wreck ketosis for your carb conscious guests. If you do include crackers for the soft cheese option, opt for something grain-free. One specific brand of crackers that I like is Mary’s Gone Crackers. They are made with quinoa.

Paleo Stuffing

Preheat the oven for 375ºF. For 12 servings, combine four pounds of turnips with three large sweet potatoes.

Peel them and cut them into small cubes. Use coconut or grape seed oil to grease two large baking pans, then spread the cubes evenly. Sprinkle the cubes with seasoning and then toss them. Use one tablespoon garlic powder, one tablespoon dried sage, one teaspoon dried rosemary, one teaspoon thyme, one teaspoon dried oregano, one teaspoon turmeric, one teaspoon black pepper and two teaspoons sea salt.

Bake for one hour.

This substitute uses cauliflower in place of white potatoes. It is much lower in carbs and provides more fiber and protein, so it will keep guests feeling fuller longer. It does contain dairy, so keep that in mind for those who avoid it.

Chop one or two heads of fresh cauliflower into uniform, large pieces. Using a large pot, cook the cauliflower in two quarts of water until it is tender. Be sure drain the cauliflower very thoroughly.

Transfer the cauliflower to a large bowl and mix in four tablespoons butter. For extra creaminess also add two tablespoons of either cream cheese or sour cream. For extra flavor, include at least two tablespoons of freshly grated parmesan cheese. Use sea salt, pepper and other herbs or spices to your preferred taste.

Brussels sprouts with Canadian bacon are a flavorable pairing.

(Photo Credit: New Africa via Adobe Stock)

Gratuitous Cranberries, because obviously…

I would be more disappointed to miss cranberries than the turkey or pumpkin pie. Honestly, there should be a holiday just for cranberry relish. And this is a recipe you will relish. It includes citrus for natural sweetness.

Homemade cranberry relish beats store-bought canned.

(Photo Credit: NadianB via Adobe Stock)

Cauliflower is a healthy change of pace for mashed potatoes.

(Photo Credit: FomaA via Adobe Stock) Mix all the ingredients together until they are very smooth. Any clumps will tip off the picky kids that this is good for them (and we wouldn’t want that). It is vital to keep the texture creamy, and that this side dish be served warm.

Muscle Sprouts

Add protein and flavor to this vegetable by including Canadian bacon with your roasted Brussels sprouts.

Preheat the oven to 400ºF. After washing and drying one pound of fresh sprouts, cut them into halves or quarters. Place them on a baking sheet, and include one

Put 24 ounces of rinsed fresh cranberries and one half cup of water into a sauce pan. Also include three quarters cup pineapple juice, and one half cup applesauce (use a brand that does not contain added sugar). Bring all this to a boil.

Immediately lower to a medium heat and stir constantly for around 15 minutes or until the cranberries start to pop open.

Reduce the mixture to a simmer and add the juice and zest of one orange. Stir all the ingredients together, then allow it to simmer for 10-15 minutes. Add cinnamon and clove, if desired. Remove the mixture from the heat and allow it to cool.

Once room temperature, place the relish into the refrigerator for at least four hours (overnight would be better). Sample this once it is thoroughly cooled. It will not be as sweet as store bought brands, so you may want to add honey, apple sauce and/or stevia to taste. Serve chilled. : : Jack Kirven completed the MFA in Dance at UCLA, and earned certification as a personal trainer through NASM. His wellness philosophy is founded upon integrated lifestyles as opposed to isolated workouts. Visit him at jackkirven.com and INTEGRE8Twellness.com.

Nov. 27-Dec. 10, 2020

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a&e

I Love Her, I Love Her… Knot Tell Trinity

BY Trinity | CONTRIBUTING WRITER Dear Slut Worries, To the first man, I would say, “what the hell are you doing for the rest of the month, living off blow up dolls and Ben & Jerry’s?” To the second man who’s spending 11 months on his knees praying for forgiveness, I’d say, “get up and start accepting your biological urges.” Darling, one-night stands are acts of survival and pleasure, not religious persecution! Feeling like a slut means not respecting your

Dearest Trinity, I rented out my spare room to this great girl, and then started spending a lot of time with her. Now, it’s time for her girlfriend to move in, and I think I’m falling in love. Did I screw up?

Renter’s Love, Des Moines, IA Dearest Renter’s Love, Yes you did, and how! I assume you knew about her girlfriend, which means you need to wake up and fast. First, stop allowing these feelings to take over you.

You can’t change your feelings, but you can control what you do with them, i.e., stop acting on them. Second, go looking for other girls. You’ll love a thousand times in your life, so don’t stop now. Third, get over it, move on, about face and forward march. Oh, and, Honey, if you don’t stop, you’ll end up living in a house full of drama and deception, and that only makes… for a good novel.

Kisses, Trinity

connections

Hey Trinity, I’m about to break up with my boyfriend.

I’m his first boyfriend, and it’s going to kill him. Help!

Yours, First Break, Pittsburg, PA Hey First Break, This is so not fun, so just accept that.

This also is very much part of life, like a very cold winter or a very delayed plane flight. So, remember, baby, be patient and kind, be direct and clear, and for your own protection, prepare financially, emotionally and physically in advance for any backlash.

Good luck, Trinity Hello Trinity, The other day, this gorgeous guy started flirting with me, but for some reason I got a sense that he wasn’t single. How do you know if someone’s partnered?

Flirting Woes, Kansas City, MO

Dear Trinity, If a man sleeps with 12 different men in one year, one a month, is he a slut? Moreover, if he sleeps with 12 different men in one month, and no one else for the rest of the year, is he also a slut? And, lastly, am I a slut?

Thanks, Slut Worries, Atlanta, GA

Q-mmunity

instincts or your mates. So, respect both of them. Oh, and even though you may not be a slut, you may be a hypochondriac.

(What is your adventure index rating? And, how does that match up with your sex drive? Look at my cartoon to see what my perspective is on the subject.)

Hello Flirting Woes, I know exactly what you went through, especially if you’re single and easy, I mean easily thrown by the kindness of strangers. Pumpkin, I think I can help with:

Trinity’s Sly Tips For Finding Out If You’re Dating A Married Or Single Man 1. If he invites you to dinner 100 miles away from where he lives, MARRIED! 2. If he says, “I only have email, I don’t have a cellphone,” MARRIED! 3. If he plays hard to get with an attitude, SINGLE. 4. If he plays eager to get with a nervous twitch, MARRIED. 5. If his fourth finger on his left hand has a sun burn in the shape of ring, MARRIED and DECEPTIVE! 6. If he says, “I’d like to invite you to a party,” SINGLE. 7. If he says, “I don’t like parties” or “I’m afraid of crowds,” MARRIED and/or PSYCHOTIC! 8. If he says, “I don’t talk about my relationships until after a few dates,” MARRIED or an FBI agent!

9. If he says, “I’m married, but we’re not sleeping together,” MARRIED AND TROUBLE! 10. L astly, if he says, “I live in the suburbs in a big house with two dogs,” MARRIED or MARRIAGE MATERIAL. You’ll have to find out for yourself! : :

With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com.

Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

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Nov. 27-Dec. 10, 2020

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‘Singular Sensation: The Triumph of Broadway’ Out in Print

BY terri schlichenmeyer | CONTRIBUTING WRITER theater owners who decide which shows run and which don’t.

He writes of writers, actors, directors, costumers and criminals.

Riedel explains how a daytime talk show host made Broadway a must-see destination for New York City’s tourists.

He explains how Disney made its mark on Broadway, with the help of Rudy Giuliani. He writes of a genius who never

saw his masterpiece and never knew its popularity. And he tells of a show rescued from near-obscurity by a husbandand-wife team who couldn’t let it go...

House lights down, stage lights up and, within minutes, you’re transported to another place and time. Reading “Singular Sensation” is something like that: author and theater columnist Michael Riedel takes readers backstage, overseas, onstage and in rehearsals and meetings with people you’ll recognize if you’re perpetually Broadway-bound.

The nice surprise is that this serious-butlighthearted, semi-scandalous collection of related stories will, because of the size of the names involved, make a non-fan happy, too.

Indeed, Riedel gives readers a fly-onthe-wall feel through bit of non-catty, relatively kind celebrity gossiping, done with an absolutely correct amount of drama. This keeps “Singular Sensation” under control while maintaining a sense of insider, somewhat like reading Variety with a delightfully droll Ph.D. It’s likely been a minute since you sat in a theater seat and you miss it very much, but that shouldn’t stop you from enjoying Broadway on paper. So grab “Singular Sensation” and roll with it. : :

Author Michael Riedel.

(Photo Credit: Annie Wermiel) “Singular Sensation: The Triumph of Broadway”

by Michael Riedel ©2020, Avid Reader Press $28.00 335 pages

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ou know every single role in your favorite Broadway show.

You can name all the actors who’ve ever filled those roles. You know the plot and every word to every song. How many times have you seen that show, bought the T-shirts, read a playbook, coveted the posters? And how much is there that you don’t know? In “Singular Sensation” by Michael Riedel, come see.

Hollywood’s supposed Golden Age lasted from the 1930s until just after World War II. The Golden Age of Live Television, says Riedel, roughly spanned the Eisenhower years. The Golden Age of Broadway, then, was from 1943 to 1959.

At about that time, a “British invasion” arrived, lasting for decades.

And then, in the later 1990s, everything changed.

Suddenly, low-budget musicals were profitable. Musical comedies became popular again, and plays “made a comeback.” Corporations began eyeing Broadway as a way to further their brand and make more money. Perhaps most importantly, “[a] new breed of producers” stood up to theater owners who’d previously had serious power, and new theaters were established. Literally, the landscape of theater-going changed.

It wasn’t all singing and dancing, though. Says Riedel, “Broadway has a knack for survival,” and it needed that knack: the AIDS crisis was in full-swing then, terrorism left its mark on theater audiences abroad, Times Square was seedy, and New York City itself was struggling financially. The industry was ripe for change, and Riedel tells about it.

He writes of egos, ideas and role replacements, all of which often clashed.

He explains how money and power makes or breaks a show, especially in behind-the-scenes deal-making with

Nov. 27-Dec. 10, 2020

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‘Neon’ Glow

An Interview with Jaime Wyatt

BY Gregg Shapiro | Guest Contributor

O

GS: One of my favorite songs on the album is the wonderful and subtly queer “Rattlesnake Girl.” The song contains the lines, “I see my sweet friends on the weekends / They all look happy and gay / They keep their secrets all covered in sequins,” and it made me wonder would it mean to you if there was a drag queen somewhere out there getting ready to include a Jaime Wyatt song in her act?

JW: Oh, man, if I knew that was happening, I would cry tears of joy. A drag queen getting ready for a performance, which is a holy ritual, that makes everyone feel visible and understood and accepted, I would cry because I think it would be lovely!

ne thing’s for certain, Nashville’s not what it used to be. While there have probably always been LGBTQ folks in Music City, with each passing year (or maybe even minute), that community is becoming increasingly visible, thanks in part to artists such as the newly-out singer/ songwriter Jaime Wyatt. Wyatt is a distinguished artist whose hard-scrabble life has led to sobriety and embracing her queer identity. She addresses these subjects on her exceptional new album, “Neon Cross” (New West), and earns her rightful place among the current crop of reigning Country divas. Wyatt, who premiered a new music video for her song “Rattlesnake Girl” via GLAAD and Billboard Pride in October 2020, was good enough to answer a few questions about “Neon Cross.”

Gregg Shapiro: Jaime, I want to begin by congratulating you on the release of your new album, “Neon Cross,” which is being showered with a multitude of favorable reviews. What does that kind of reception mean to you?

Jaime Wyatt: It’s everything I would hope for, absolutely [laughs]. I definitely aim to please.

Specifically, I really want people to know where these songs are coming from. What kind of experiences these songs are coming from in hopes that it might help somebody else. I’ve definitely gone about living life, I think, the hard way. I think there’s a more efficient way to go about that [laughs]. I’m really happy the album is wellreceived and that the message is being received as well. It means the world to me.

GS: With the exception of “Demon Tied to a Chair in My Brain,” you wrote or co-wrote all of the songs on “Neon Cross.” What is something Country music artist Jamie Wyatt. (Photo Credit: Magdalena Wosinska) you can tell the readers about your songwriting process and how you think it’s evolved over the years? simplest thing, but you’re getting at how hard or how easy JW: I’ve been writing songs since I was four or five years it is — it is very difficult to be simple. old. I was always making up my own melodies and phrases and stuff. There was a period when I learned to play guitar GS: Well, you make it sound effortless. that I played to the guitar. But I got back to my roots and JW: Good! Thank you! the dreamy quality of writing where I write the melody and the words and the hook in my head and then bring it to GS: The album features a couple of guest vocalists instrument. Going back to where it originally came from, including Jessi Colter, the mother of producer Shooter when I was a child, has been successful for me. I follow the Jennings, on “Just A Woman.” Is that how that collabomuse rather than making the muse fit inside some sort ration came to be? of box. My life has shown, in every way, that I don’t fit in a JW: That’s absolutely right. I’ve got this song, and I feel box. Why should art? It has form; don’t get me wrong. I’m like I wrote it for my mother and other people’s moms. I not necessarily avant garde. I’m not reinventing the wheel. feel like I’m trying to imagine what Tammy Wynette would This is Country Pop. But I’m happy that I’ve been able to have said if she could have vocalized some pain in the go back to an organic process, especially in sobriety. It was limitations of being a woman during that time or during much easier when I was in my 20s just to smoke a joint this time. I thought, “Who can we have on there?” Then I and [snaps her fingers] get there. Now I’ve worked for it. asked, “Shooter, can we hire your mother?” And he said, I have different ways to get there; meditation and a lot of “Absolutely!” I’ve met her a few times. She knew who I was journaling and a lot of reading and learning how to be with and had heard my voice and was happy to myself and go inward. do it. It was a huge honor.

GS: Country songs are known for having a turn of phrase specific to the genre. Your song “Make Something Outta Me,” for example, has the chorus, “If God made the world out of nothing/why can’t he make something outta me?” Is it fun or challenging to try and maintain that tradition?

JW: It’s both fun and challenging. That is so in-tuned! It’s something I think about a lot. I’ve got this great concept, but what’s the line, what’s the twist? I don’t think it always has to have a twist. Another thing that is really great that I’ve loved for a long time is the way that the Rolling Stones would turn and change a cliché. There’s that method, also.

When I get that twist, I’m very happy with it. I’m super glad right when you started asking that question, I thought, “Oh, God, I hope he recognized it [in] “Make Something Out of Me,” because I was so proud of that [laughs]! It’s the

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GS: “Just A Woman” made me think of Dolly Parton’s “Just Because I’m A Woman.” Do you consider Dolly to be an influence, and if so, in what ways?

JW: Dolly is an absolute angelic singer.

You know what’s interesting? I didn’t know that song existed until yesterday. I had not studied her material enough. I was telling my lady friend that I’m ashamed that I just started really studying Dolly’s material.

It’s funny you should bring up that song. I have studied a lot of women around that era, but I hadn’t really dug into Dolly enough. The reason I didn’t is because I wasn’t sure that I could sing in her key or that it would be unholy to transcribe her songs for an alto voice.

GS: While things have changed in recent years, being out in Nashville is still something of a challenge. Country music listeners turned their backs on Chely Wright and Ty Herndon after they came out, but in the interim have embraced people from Mary Gauthier to Brandy Clark. Can you please say something about how you see your role as an out Country artist?

JW: That’s a good question. I hope I can articulate this enough because it’s very important to be out and well-studied at Country music. Thankfully, I’m surrounded by artists that push the envelope.

That’s important because art is supposed to challenge our perspectives. My role, being out and being a Country singer, is important to change the perception of what Country music is often associated with. I’ve heard people say that Country music is white, racist and homophobic. I want to change that. I want it to be inclusive. I want to be a part of that movement celebrating Country music with everyone! That beautiful American tradition. By the same token, people who have considered it to be only traditional and have used it to exclude LGBTQ people or people of color or people who didn’t fit in this little box, if they’ve used it for that, they’re sorely mistaken, as well. I want to be a voice and a figure to represent the diversity that is American, and Country music is American. We should all be able to enjoy this.

GS: With live performance on the back burner for the near future, how are you reaching your fans?

JW: We, and I say “we” because my label is helping me greatly, are partnering with magazines and music publications to live stream on social media, mainly Instagram and Facebook. We’re also in the process of making a mini documentary about some of the causes I believe in, such as feminism and visibility of the LGBTQ community in Country music. I’m working on developing a series on current causes, as well as music, and to open up conversations online.

GS: Pride festivals across the U.S. were canceled due to the pandemic. “Neon Cross” was released just before the start of Pride month. How would you have observed Pride in 2020 if you could have?

JW: I was so looking forward to being at a Pride festival my first year of being out publicly. I’ve only been out to my friends and family for four years.

I was looking forward to being out on social media and Pride festivals. I won’t get to experience that in person, but I definitely would like to incorporate celebrating my pride and being out and say “I’m out and proud” now, which is crazy because I never thought I’d get there. I’m looking forward to doing that online. I’m trying to reach my people and my community and speak to my younger self. To find young people who are struggling like I was. : :

life

Our People: Dennis Fox

Visual Merchandiser Retiree, Studio 25 Decor Holiday Decorator, Designer

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ennis Fox is a retired visual merchandiser who has a knack for large-scale interior decorating and design.

Although Fox left his position at Value City Furniture nearly two years ago, he is still quite the worker bee.

Following his retirement, Fox began a new journey that allowed him to use his experience and creativity by joining Studio 25 Decor, helping to create a cheerful, holiday ambiance for shopping malls, retail stores and youth hospitals.

Spending time together shopping and traipsing from one elaborately festive store to the next is a big part of the holiday magic during seasons like Christmas for a lot of families, which is something Fox says he is grateful to be a part of.

Can you tell me a little bit about your role as a holiday decorator and designer?

My position entails traveling around the United States making preparations for new projects and ensuring that all the necessary decorations and equipment for each install has been accounted for. I also help design decorations for upcoming assignments and assist with the logistics and fulfillment for current jobs.

What is your favorite color?

Blue.

What are a few things you like about your work?

Gratification for being able to use my creativity to help make people smile after my team and I have completed a job. I also enjoy meeting new people and getting to see different places.

By Mykah Buff | QNotes Staff Writer How much time goes into decorating one location?

Most installs take about a day to complete.

When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

At the time, I assumed I would just marry, have kids and find a good job.

What has life been like for you since retiring?

Since retiring, I have been almost as busy as before I retired. I do full-time jobs and also some things that are relaxing. Hopefully, this coming year will have less work and more relaxation.

You expressed having a strong passion for equality and advocating for those who lack equal rights. Can you elaborate on that some?

I feel like we are all equal and should have the same opportunity for living our lives without prejudice. We all put our pants on the same way, one leg at a time.

You mentioned having a generally positive outlook on life and appear to be quite the optimist.

When faced with negativity or oppression, how do you persevere?

I have always tried to look at life from a positive outlook by focusing on the good in things. We all have our down moments, but staying there will only eat at you, resulting in a kind of life I have no desire for living.

What kind of things do you enjoy doing outside of work?

Working in my yard, kayaking, and spending time with my sons, boyfriend and friends.

What is your favorite food?

Pizza.

Imagine you just played the lottery and hit the jackpot for $1,000,000. What would be the first thing you buy?

I would buy my two sons a new home. I live a modest life, so I don’t need lots of money. Although, I can’t say it wouldn’t be nice to have.

Where is your favorite place to vacation?

The Dominican Republic. : :

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