QNotes, November 30, 2018

Nov. 30-Dec. 13, 2018

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Nov. 30-Dec. 13, 2018

inside this issue

Nov. 30-Dec. 13, 2018 Vol 33 No 16

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11 Keeping Janis Joplin’s Legacy Alive

What’s in a name?

Attorney Justin R. Erwin, III shares tips when changing one’s name during transgender transition.

contributors this issue

Torie Dominguez, Justin R. Erwin, III, Jack Kirven, Lainey Millen, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Trinity

Graphic Design by Lainey Millen Photography: Lloyd Mulvey via lloydmulvey.com Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBTQ and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBTQ life and social justice issues.

Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Managing Editor: Jim Yarbrough, x201, editor@goqnotes.com Assoc. Editor: Lainey Millen, specialassignments@goqnotes.com Copy Editor: Torie Dominguez, torie@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen, x205, production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.

Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2018 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

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Griffin to Step Down Chamber Awardees Couple Shares Pregnancy News Briefs ASO DiningFundraiser Mercy debuts video series

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Holiday Events Tell Trinity

Finding ways to relieve stress and find peace

Jack Kirven provides a way for people to find inner peace and relaxation from the stresses of everyday life. It only takes a little yoga and some quiet time to find that place.

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life 7 It’s Happy Holiday Gift-Giving Time 16 Health & Wellness: Kundalini Yoga 19 Our People:

Nikolai Mather

views 13 Legal Eagle: It’s More Than a Name

events charlotteobserver.com/1166/ a local news partner of The Charlotte Observer

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Nov. 30-Dec. 13, 2018

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news

‘Family’ photo book

HRC’s Griffin to step down

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) announced that its president, Chad Griffin, he will leave his post at the organization in 2019 after serving it for seven years.

Under Griffin’s leadership, HRC has become a leader in the resistance to the Trump-Pence administration, has doubled its membership, staff and budget to meet its expanded goals and opportunities has led efforts to win marriage equality, introduced the Equality Act which would establish explicit federal civil rights protections for LGBTQ people, launched the largest grassroots expansion in the organization’s 38-year history ahead of the 2018 midterms, and established new programs to expand protections across the Deep South and around the globe.

In 2014, Griffin oversaw the launch of two transformational new initiatives to expand the reach of the organization’s work: Project One America, a campaign to dramatically expand LGBTQ equality across the Deep South through permanent campaigns in Mississippi, Alabama and Arkansas; and HRC Global, which has leveraged HRC’s domestic work to expand the global equality movement. Previously the work of the Human Rights Campaign was focussed exclusively on domestic advocacy.

A native of Hope, Ark., Griffin got his start volunteering in 1992 at the Clinton Campaign headquarters in Little Rock, working in the press office as Dee Dee Myers’s intern. He then began working in the West Wing press office of President Bill Clinton’s White House at the age of 19, becoming the youngest West Wing staffer ever. He is a graduate of Georgetown University’s School of Foreign Service.

Griffin will remain in place to ensure a seamless, smooth transition while HRC’s Board of Directors leads a search process for the next president. info: hrc.org.

— Lainey Millen

Chamber announces certification awardees

CHARLOTTE, N.C. —The Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce has announced that eight local businesses have been awarded LGBT Business Enterprise (LGBTBE) certification through the National LGBT Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC) Supplier Diversity Initiative.

Awardees are: CLT Geek Inc., Higher Ground Consulting Group LLC, Miles Enterprise Solutions, Styles by Joshua, Susan Brittain Consulting, Your Custom Catering & Events, Praelisus and Uroboros Mediations, LLC. Business owners shared their aspirations now that they have been certified. Nate Turner, Your Custom Catering & Events, noted that he expects “to see at least a 40 percent increase in corporate business” and Susan Brittain, Susan Brittain Consulting, said she “is excited to be a part of the NGLCC network.”

Others also remarked on their certification, including Ciara Lilly,Higher Ground Consulting Group, LLC president and chair of the LGBTBE Certification and Supplier Diversity Committee for the Charlotte chamber. “This certification gives LGBT business owners, like myself, access to procurement opportunities with Fortune-ranked corporations and government agencies eager to include more LGBT businesses in their supply chains. Equipped with the right strategy and the support of the Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce, I anticipate new doors of opportunity opening for our certified LGBTBEs.” “As a diverse group of over 1,060 certified LGBTBEs, we are stronger together” said Daniel Pentecost, CLT Geek, Inc. founding director. “I expect to establish additional vendor and contractor relationships with fellow LGBTBEs to allow us to serve our clients more efficiently and increase our capacity to provide exceptional concierge style support.”

The local chamber offers this certification at no cost to all its business members. Additionally, it mentors interested local businesses through the certification process and provides certified business with local support and resources for finding, engaging and winning more business.

More than twenty additional LGBTQ-owned businesses in Charlotte are working on gaining their certifications. The chamber is working to assist with certifying these, bringing the number to almost 30 by spring of 2019. info: clgbtcc.org.

— Lainey Millen

Lesbian couple share pregnancy

MEDFORD, Mass. — A lesbian couple made history when they became the first samesex couple to both carry the baby in separate phases of the pregnancy — from the fertilization of the egg and development of the embryo to the birth of the child.

The option was made available to married couple Bliss and Ashleigh Coulter, of Mountain Springs, Texas, through the science of INVOcell, Intravaginal Culture System developed by INVO Bioscience, Inc. News outlets worldwide reported on the phenomenon which utilized reciprocal effortless in vitro fertilization. It began with the stimulation and harvesting of eggs from Bliss Coulter. Instead of incubating in a lab, the sperm and eggs were placed in the INVOcell device and inserted into her for five days to provide an environment for embryo development. Afterward, the device was removed and the embryos frozen. Like passing a baton in relay race, USA Today reported, the embryos were transferred into Ashleigh Coulter’s body for the remainder of the pregnancy after she was given estrogen and progesterone. At the end of the long process, a son, Stetson, was born to the couple.

“She got to carry him for five days and was a big part of the fertilization, and then I carried him for nine months,” Ashleigh Coulter told USA Today. “So that made it really special for the both of us — that we were both involved. She got to be a part of it, and I got to be a part of it,” she added. Two additional embryos are still frozen in the lab to be used at a later date unless they choose to switch up the process and utilize Ashleigh Coulter’s eggs.

The cost of using this option is far less expensive than traditional in vitro fertilization at about half the cost. info: invobioscience.com. bit.ly/2ENed0M. photo credit: ashleigh coulter’s facebook page.

— Lainey Millen

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Noted gay photographer Tom Atwood has created a new photo book entitled “Kings & Queens in Their Castles” which features LGBTQ community members including 60 celebrities and influencers, Upworthy reported. Some included are: CNN host Don Lemon, Rep. Barney Frank, cartoonist Alison Bechdel and Holly Taylor, Alan Cumming and others. Also represented is Raleigh, N.C.’s barista Rhea Reeves shown in her kitchen popping open a drink. info: u.pw/2PQBSmd.

Wilmington leader dies

Community activist Ryan Lee Burris, 37, died unexpectedly on Nov. 18 in Wilmington, N.C. He served in various organizations, including Cape Fear Equality and the Human Rights Campaign, the StarNews Online reported. He was also active politically with the Wilmington Stonewall Democrats and the Congressional District 7 LGBT Democrats, WECT reported. The community expressed their sorrow over the loss on Facebook and shared that he was tremendously respected and would be forever missed. info: bit.ly/2QTs2N2. bit.ly/2r5OwPn.

Garden dedication

Imani Metropolitan Community Church will hold its community garden dedication on Dec. 2 during the morning worship service. Additionally, the church will present its Christmas play, “O Come Let Us Adore Him,” on Dec. 23, 10 a.m. Winter Wonderland refreshments follow. info: imanimcc.org.

WAF to open new office

We Are Family (WAF) Interim Director Nijeeah Richardson announced that the organization will open a new location in January in order to focus on the core mission of working with and on behalf of LGBTQ youth. Its Closet Case Thrift store has closed for now and WA will announce the official address and the date of its grand re-opening at a special fundraiser at NICO Oyster + Seafood, 201 Coleman Blvd., in Mt Pleasant, on Dec. 5, 6 p.m. info: waf.org.

Documentarian chronicles ‘Boy Erased’

Filmmaker Caleb Holland was tapped by Focus Features as the behind-the-scenes documentarian of the motion picture “Boy Erased.”

He produced and captured daily behind-the-scenes content including interviews with the cast and crew.

Holland is a South Carolina native and graduate of The Savannah College of Art and Design. The film follows the story of the son of a Baptist preacher who is forced to participate in a church-supported gay conversion therapy program after being forcibly outed to his parents. Holland’s own personal experience was something he could relate to as he was outed to his parents as a freshman in college and was ultimately disowned. info: calebhollandfilm@gmail.com.

ASO dining fundraiser relaunched

CHARLESTON, S.C. — After a nearly five-year hiatus, Palmetto Community Care (PCC) is reviving its Dining With Friends fundraiser where hundreds of individuals around the greater Charleston community host dinner parties in their homes, churches or workplaces as part of a massive effort to support the work of the AIDS service organization.

Anyone can sign up to host a party. Hosts organize a dinner party, a potluck at the office, a black-tie dinner party in their home or a backyard barbecue or oyster roast — anything goes. PCC will provide the party invitations, red ribbons, posters and party tips. Guests bring a contribution for PCC and enjoy a great dinner with friends.

“We know the community has missed Dining With Friends as we hear from so many past hosts and guests who have such fond memories of this wonderful event. We are so pleased to bring back one of Charleston’s favorite and most unique fundraising events and we are raising the bar once more on fundraising to support life saving programs and services here at Palmetto Community Care,” said Bradley Childs, executive director.

Hosts need not worry about asking their friends for money as the invitations provided will do all the work. Dinner planners simply fill out their specific party information on the pre-printed invitation and send them along. Hosts also can choose electronic invites, electronic contribution forms and other online fundraising tools. Envelopes received are turned in after the event.

Party hosts and their guests are invited to a Grand Finale celebration on Jan. 19, 2019, 8 p.m., at Memminger Auditorium, 56 Beaufain St. Desserts and sweet treats from some of Charleston’s best restaurants will be available along with drinks and live music for dancing.

Sign up is due by Dec. 15 and is available online at palmettocommunitycare.org/dwf, as well as additional information. Hosts will receive their invitation and party information packet no later than Dec. 21.

“We are bringing Dining With Friends into the digital age with electronic invitations and fundraising tools to make participation seamless and easier than ever. But, we aren’t forgetting what always made this event so special for so many years. We are keeping options for printed invites and donor envelopes. We want everyone excited to check their mail for party invitations, whether that is via email or from the post office,” said Jason Kirk, director of development and marketing.

For information on sponsoring the Dining With Friends Grand Finale Party or volunteering, contact Jason Kirk at 843-747-2273, ext. 216 or jkirk@palmettocare.org. info: palmettocommunitycare.org.

— Lainey Millen

Mercy debuts video series

BELMONT, N.C. — The House of Mercy is gearing up for a busy holiday season that will include the debut of its new video series. The videos highlight the lives of past and present residents, and brings to life the healing and comfort that happens at the home.

“Miracles do happen here. This is sacred ground,” said Director of Nursing Shirley Stowe in an excerpt from the video.

“In the early days at House of Mercy, this was truly a hospice program, a place where people were made comfortable and treated well until their deaths” said President Emily Sharpe. “Now many residents of House of Mercy are nursed back to health and go on with their lives. This ‘Lazarus effect’ in House of Mercy residents isn’t possible without the loving assistance of our nursing staff and the home where residents can live without worry about their basic needs being met.”

Mel Tomlinson, renowned ballet performer, came back to the House of Mercy for filming of the video. Tomlinson was a patient in the 1990s who had a miraculous recovery.

The video shows him teaching students at the Belmont Ballet Studio.

The debut of the video will take place during an event celebrating World AIDS Day at the House of Mercy, 104 McAuley Cir., on Dec. 4 from 5:30–6:30 p.m. The event is for all supporters and friends of the House of Mercy to show support and solidarity to people affected by HIV and AIDS, and to commemorate those who have died from an AIDSrelated illness. The evening includes food, beverages and entertainment.

For those interested in supporting House of Mercy, but unable to attend the event, can make contributions through the organization’s website. It includes wish list and volunteer opportunities. info: thehouseofmercy.org. sharecharlotte.org/nonprofit/house-mercy.

— Lainey Millen

Nov. 30-Dec. 13, 2018

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life

It’s happy holiday gift-giving time qnotes top 10+ items to bestow on that special someone

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he holiday season is closing in and gifts are being bought, wrapped and stowed away for the festive days. However, finding an unusual gift for that special someone can be a challenge.

But don’t fret! qnotes has its Top 10 Holiday Gift List ideas to spark one’s thinking. Check them out here and spread the cheer!

Hammered Metal and Walnut Pitcher $160 Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams This unique pitcher is perfect for entertaining. It has sophisticated lines and a textured surface that can serve to camouflage fingerprints. Pair it with other items offered by the gay iconic designers including a bar service tray ($54), tray ($220), cocktail shaker ($35), dish trio ($110), ice bucket ($175) and double-walled champagne bucket ($150) to complement a modern setting. mgbwhome.com.

Linen Plain Toe Shoe $80 Parallel Shoes This crisp linen offering comes from a California-based company that has created a gender-neutral line of footwear for those who are transitioning or are gender-fluid. The shoes are handcrafted with 100 percent vegan materials, including leather and cork soles and are created in smaller sizes for hard-to-fit feet (men’s, 3.5-7.5, and women’s, 5-9).

Adding to this unique gift is the knowledge that for every pair sold, a dollar goes to directly support LGBTQ youth programs in the Los Angeles area. parallelshoes.com.

‘Family’ Diaper Bag $395-$450 E.C. Knox Gay men always want to be stylish when they head out for work, play or whatever strikes their fancy. And, actor Gavin Lodge and his partner were annoyed that the only available diaper bags were either quilted and pink (geared toward mothers) or schlumpy (geared toward dads seemingly “forced” to carry their own bag). So, Lodge created a company offering a line of goods tailored for men who were proud of their new roles as fathers who wanted to maintain their stylish appearance. Four bag styles offered are: Ellison, Beach Babe, Frenchie and Colton Weekender.

They feature a removable, washable, liquid-resistant liner, zip-out changing flap with removable changing pad and a host of other amenities. It also includes a padded computer sleeve and a plethora of other parental must-haves and easily converts into a backpack. ecknox.com.

by Lainey Millen | qnotes Staff Writer Astrologically Speaking Varying Prices, Manufacturers Are you into astrology? If so, there may be options for buying gifts based upon someone’s sign according to Refinery29.

Examples are: Aries — Ambercrombie & Fitch faux fur clutch, $25.60, abercrombie.com; Taurus — S’well blue granite traveler, $25.99, macys.com; Gemini — iPhone camera lens 2-in-1, $13.99, amazon.com; Cancer — Aled Light 5.9” 3D printed moon light, $21.99, amazon.com; Leo — Sunski Olemas tortoise and slate print sunglasses, $58, store.sunski.com; Virgo — >ful Crate by Fluidstance with four glass bottles, coasters, matching carafe and wire basket, $89, fluidstance.com; Libra — Blush mirage rainbow barware set, $39, helloblush. com/miragerainbowbarware-set; Scorpio — Lula’s Garden succulent jewel garden, $35, lulasgarden.com; Sagittarius — Shit That I Knit gunnie beanie, assorted colors, $125, shitthatiknit.com; Capricorn — Patagonia women’s better sweater fleece gloves, assorted colors, $49, patagonia.com; Aquarius — Storm King Art Center sculpture/speaker zwitscher box with birdsong effects, assorted colors, $40, shop. stormking.org; Pisces —AromaTree beech ultrasonic diffuser, $110.95, bit.ly/2BuXyLV.

Bear Beard/Mustache Kit $19.99 Grow A Beard Hey, bear! Want to keep that beard and mustache well groomed while on the go? Then this unique multikit is just right for you.

It comes equipped with an organic bamboo and boar bristle beard brush, dual-action mustache and beard comb, stainless steel scissors, beard shaping template, plus conditioning beard oil and jojoba shaping wax. amzn.to/2OVocRH. Caffeine Pick-Me-Up $49.90 Wacoco On the go and no place to buy Joe? Then check out this Minipresso GR portable espresso maker and become your own barista!

It’s sure to put pep in your step. And, it’s lightweight, compact and sturdy — easy to carry along on a trip in a backpack or carry-on bag or to the office in a briefcase. wacaco.com.

Scratch-Off Travel Map $46 Landmass Goods

Gluten-Free Zuzu Luxe Holiday Coastal Cosmetic Gift Set $74.50 Gabriel Cosmetics This unique offering is for those whose bodies can’t handle gluten products by gay cosmetics company owner Gabriel De Santino. The set includes, lipstick, blush and eye shadow palettes. gabrielcosmeticsinc.com.

Chart your travels across the globe with this scratch off world map. The tracker makes a super family gift as everyone participates in circumventing the world on adventures little and large. Gold foil is easily removed and the 210 flags of the world help to expand one’s love of and knowledge of geography. landmassgoods.com.

Longaberger Hershey’s Kisses Basket & Lid $89.95 Replacements Ltd. Don’t you just love kisses?

Then this basket shaped like a chocolate kiss, along with handle that mimics the paper tab coming out of that delectable favorite will certainly satisfy your “sweetheart.” replacements.com.

Üllo Wine Purifier $79.99 Üllo LLC Recapture and restore the natural taste of wine with this purification technology system. The Selective Sulfite Capture™ utilized in this unique gadget combines with an adjustable, patented on/off wine aerator. The kit includes a purifier, travel bag, silicone display base to capture stray drops and four single bottle filters. Use the purifier with other options available by Üllo such as three styles of decanters (ranging in price from $119.99 to $129.99). ullowine.com.

Nov. 30-Dec. 13, 2018

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Holiday events dot winter landscape Loads of fun-filled times can be had in the Carolinas

BY Torie Dominguez | QNotes Staff WRITER

November 30–December 2 Arc of Rowan County Festival of Trees

3 and older. Kids 2 and under admitted free. bit.ly/2S6QvOU.

F&M Trolley Barn 165 E. Liberty St., Salisbury Friday 7-9 p.m., Saturday 11 a.m.8 p.m., Sunday 1-5 p.m.

A tree sponsored by Salisbury Pride is again among the featured displays at this 15th annual fundraiser for The Arc of Rowan, a private non-profit serving those with intellectual and developmental disabilities. thearcofrowan.org/festival-of-trees.

December 1 Harvey B. Gantt Center Jazzy Holiday Benefit Gala

November 30-December 24 Charlotte Christmas Village / Christkindlmarkt

7th St. & N. Tryon St., Charlotte 11 a.m.-7 p.m. TuesdayWednesday, 11 a.m.-9 p.m. ThursdaySaturday, 11 a.m.-6 p.m. Sunday Uptown’s Old World Europe -inspired seasonal market moves to a new home from its former site in Romare Bearden Park.

Traditional German and Austrian food and drink will be available, along with special children’s programming, a variety of entertainment on the performing arts stage, and free visits with Kris Kringle (check out the Christmas Village website for Santa’s hours). No charge for admission. Open until 5p.m. Thanksgiving Day. Closed Mondays except Christmas Eve, when hours are 11 a.m.-5 p.m. cltchristmasvillage.com.

November 30 – December 26 Christmas Town USA

McAdenville, NC 5:30-9:30 p.m. Monday-Friday, 5:30-11 p.m.

Saturday-Sunday Celebrating more than six decades in operation, McAdenville’s famous Christmas Town drive-through / walk-through displays include more than 160 decorated homes as well as hundreds of lighted evergreen trees in the town’s common areas.

Admission is free. mcadenville-christmastown.com.

November 30 – December 31 Speedway Christmas

Charlotte Motor Speedway 5555 Concord Pkwy. S., Concord 6-10 p.m.

Charlotte Motor Speedway’s drive-through light show with musical accompaniment broadcast through 101.3 FM. Christmas Village open Thursdays-Sundays features an all-new Ferris wheel attraction as well as food, games, photos with Santa and more. Admission prices are as follows: Monday-Wednesday, $20 per car (maximum 10 passengers), $40 per van (maximum 36) and $140 per bus (maximum 175); Thursday and Sunday, $25 per car, $50 per van and $175 per bus; Friday and Saturday, $30 per car, $50 per van and $175 per bus. Express passes may be purchased for an additional $20. Tickets are available at the gate, online or by phone; online and phone orders reflect FridaySaturday pricing. Various promotional and

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other discounts also available. Closed Dec. 25. charlottemotorspeedway.com/events/ speedway-christmas.

November 30-January 1 27th Annual Tanglewood Festival of Lights

Tanglewood Park 4061 Clemmons Rd., Clemmons 6-11 p.m. nightly, with the exception of Dec. 31, when the show will close at 10 p.m.

Drive through the Festival of Lights and experience revived annual favorites alongside new offerings including interactive musical displays, featuring original compositions by students of the University of North Carolina School of the Arts’ Music Technology program. Admission is $15 for family vehicles including cars, trucks and minivans; $35 for commercial full-size vans, limos and minibuses; and $100 for motor coaches and full-size buses. Payment is accepted in cash or credit card (Visa, MasterCard and Discover only). Guests of the Manor House Bed & Breakfast on the park grounds receive complimentary Festival admission. Long wait times should be expected, particularly on weekends. forsyth.cc/parks/tanglewood/fol.

November 30–January 5 Candlelight Christmas Evenings

Biltmore Estate 1 Lodge St., Asheville Live music performed by choirs and soloists lend additional atmosphere to Biltmore’s evening Christmas decorations, which also include dozens of Christmas trees illuminated by candle and firelight. The self-guided experience includes admission to Antler Hill Village with its restaurants, shops and attractions. Tickets $70-$90, with special packages available to guests of either of the two hotels located on the Biltmore grounds.

Closed Dec. 24-25. bit.ly/2TMDpYX.

November 30-January 6 Holidays at the Garden

Daniel Stowe Botanical Garden 6500 S. New Hope Rd., Belmont 5-9 p.m.

An abundance of light displays including a musical topiary, quaint building install-

Charlotte Convention Center, Crown Ballroom 501 S. College St., Charlotte 6 p.m.

The Harvey B. Gantt Center for African-American Arts + Culture closes out 2018 with its annual black-tie benefit and awards gala, this year paying tribute to Northwest School of the Arts, retired educator Dorothy Counts Photo Credit: Maksim Pasko via Adobe Stock and actress Karyn Parsons.

Individual tickets are $350 ments and model train displays, live conand include admission, 4-course dinner, certs, shopping, an activity-filled children’s dessert, artistic performances, live music discovery trail, photos with Santa and and dancing. more can be found nightly at Daniel Stowe bit.ly/2AZgJxl. Botanical Garden throughout the holiday season. Holidays at the Garden admission $14.95/adults, $13.95/seniors 60+ and $8.95/children when tickets are purchased online; prices are higher at the gate. Closed Christmas Day. Tuesdays 4-5 p.m. the Garden is reserved for children with autism spectrum conditions and other special needs and their families who wish to visit with Santa in a more relaxed environment.

Free reservations for these sensory-friendly visits can be made online or by calling 704829-1294. bit.ly/2DSp5t3.

December 1-2 Triangle Gay Men’s Chorus: ‘There’s No Business Like Snow Business’

Saturday Binkley Baptist Church 1712 Willow Dr., Chapel Hill 7 p.m.

Sunday 1801 Hillsborough St., Raleigh 2 p.m.

TGMC combines classic carol, secular blockbusters, dancing, refreshments and raffle prizes, while collecting canned goods and other essential items for the Food Bank of Central & Eastern North Carolina.

Saturday’s show in Chapel Hill is free, though donations are appreciated and guests are still asked to RSVP. Admission to Raleigh show $10. Tickets available online. tgmchorus.org.

December 1 A Golden Christmas

Reed Gold Mine 9621 Reed Mine Rd., Midland 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

Reed Gold Mine’s Christmas celebration includes a guided candlelight tour to allow patrons to experience how 19th-century miners would have marked the holiday.

The day will also feature demonstrations, local crafts, refreshments and more, as well as the chance to shop for quilts, lace, traditional toys, and other goods created by local artisans. Tickets $3/adults and children

December 2 Menorah Lighting Celebration at SouthPark Circle Court in SouthPark Mall 4400 Sharon Rd., Charlotte 5-7 p.m.

The endpoint of Chabad of Charlotte’s Menorah Car Parade, which will have departed around 3:30 p.m. from 6619 Sardis Rd., this year’s festivities at SouthPark center on a giant menorah constructed of Lego bricks.

Kids’ Lego building activity 5-6 p.m. followed by menorah lighting at 6 p.m. Traditional Hanukkah treats, music, prizes and more continue until 7 p.m. This event is free and open to the public. bit.ly/southparkmenorah.

December 4-9 ‘A Christmas Story: The Musical’

Ovens Auditorium 2700 Independence Blvd., Charlotte 8p.m. Tuesday-Friday, 2 and 8p.m. Saturday, 1:30 and 7p.m. Sunday The beloved 1980s flick following Ralphie Parker’s quest for the air rifle of his dreams, brought to the stage in a Tonynominated musical by the creators of Dear Evan Hansen and La La Land. Tickets $24-$94.50. bit.ly/2ranVkx.

December 5 Grand Strand Pride Holiday Dinner Party

Martin’s Restaurant 7200 N. Ocean Blvd., Myrtle Beach, S.C. 7 p.m.

All-inclusive four-course dinner to benefit the nonprofit Grand Strand Pride. Tickets $35 through Dec. 4. Reservations required. grandstrandpride.com.

December 7-8 One Voice Chorus: ‘Love Came Down’

Unitarian Universalist Church of Charlotte 234 N. Sharon Amity Rd., Charlotte 7:30 p.m. Friday, 2 p.m. and 7:30p.m.

Saturday The Queen City’s queer-inclusive chorus

devotes its annual holiday program to love in all its forms. Evening shows $25 general admission, $20 student with valid ID. Saturday matinee $15 general admission, $10 student. onevoicechorus.com/events.

December 7-9 ‘Clara’s Trip: A Cirque and Dance Nutcracker Story’

Booth Playhouse at Blumenthal Performing Arts Center 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m. Friday, 2 and 7 p.m. Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday Clara LeBlanc trips at a holiday party. She finds herself in the hospital that night, friends, family and get-well gifts dancing in her head as she dreams. Tickets $35-$50. bit.ly/clarastrip.

December 7-16 ‘A Christmas Carol’

Theatre Charlotte 501 Queens Rd., Charlotte 8 p.m. premiere Friday, Dec. 7; thereafter, 7:30 p.m. Tuesday-Friday, 2:30 and 7:30 p.m.

Saturday, 2:30 p.m. Sunday Theatre Charlotte’s 12th annual presentation of the beloved Charles Dickens adaptation. Rated G. Tickets $28. bit.ly/2PQ1Aqd.

December 7-19 ‘Miracle on 34th Street’

Winston-Salem Theatre Alliance 1047 Northwest Blvd., Winston-Salem 8 p.m. Dec. 7-8, 12-15 and 17-19; 2 p.m. Dec. 9 and 16 A musical adaptation of the beloved tale about a young girl who attempts to convince her cynic mother that she’s

found the real Santa Claus in a Manhattan department store. Tickets are $18/adults, $16/ students and seniors 62 and older. wstheatrealliance.org/event/miracle-on34th-street.

December 7-23 ‘The Nutcracker’

Charlotte Ballet Belk Theater at Blumenthal Performing Arts Center 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m. Thursday-Friday with added 2 p.m. matinee Dec. 21, 2 and 7 p.m. SaturdaySunday Clara meets the Sugar Plum Fairy and witnesses the war between the Nutcracker and the Mouse King in this iconic holiday piece. Tickets $25-$125. Charlotte Ballet will also stage a modified sensory-friendly performance 1p.m. Thursday, Dec. 13. For more information, or to purchase tickets at $15 per person, contact 704-348-5752. charlotteballet.org/nutcracker.

December 7 Salisbury Pride Holiday Drag Show

The Fish Bowl 127 E. Innes St., Salisbury 8:30 p.m. and 10 p.m.

Hosted by Jamie Monroe and Cierra Desiree Nichole-Land, with featured performers including Dakota Rain, Jayden James Starr, Kassandra Hylton and more, plus a surprise special guest. Music by DJ Bear Trax. A $10 donation will be accepted at the door. bit.ly/holidaydrag.

December 8 Yoga for Queer POC Liberation Queen City Yoga Studio

8514 McAlpine Park Dr., Charlotte 10:30 a.m.-12 p.m.

Soul Liberation Yoga & Wellness hosts this beginner-level class as a casual safe space for queer people of color to engage with yoga philosophies, breathing techniques, and poses suitable for all bodies. There will also be time for open discussion so that participants may connect with one another. This event is free and open to those who identify as queer people of color. bit.ly/liberationyoga. soulliberation.yoga/calendar.

December 8 SAGE Raleigh Holiday Party & Potluck

St. John’s Metropolitan Community Church 622 Maywood Ave., Raleigh 1:30-4:30 p.m.

Join the capital chapter of SAGE (Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders) and St. John’s MCC for food, fun and fellowship. Buffet will be served at 2 p.m. with the main course provided. Attendees are asked to bring favorite homemade side dishes or dessert. The festivities include door prizes and other surprises. RSVP to Joseph Wheeler at jwheeler@lgbtqcenterofraleigh. com to reserve a seat. The event is free and open to the public. Those interested in volunteering are asked to email sage@ lgbtcenterofraleigh.com with “holiday potluck volunteer” in the subject line. lgbtcenterofraleigh.com.

December 8 The Gray Holiday Party

The Harvey B. Gantt Center for African-American Arts + Culture 551 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 8 p.m.-2 a.m.

The Gantt Center’s festive year-end fund-

raising event, named in honor of contributors Felicia and Herb Gray, features food and drink, live music, DJ-spun tunes, dancing and more. Tickets $60. Ages 21+. bit.ly/2AfLTPf.

December 8 Tosco Music Holiday Party

McGlohon Theater at Spirit Square 345 N. College St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m.

This special seasonal edition of the Charlotte staple Tosco Music Parties will feature group singalongs and over a dozen local and regional artists performing songs of Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa.

Tickets $15.50-$34.50. 10 percent discount for students and groups of 10 or more.

Call 704-348-5752 for further information on group pricing. bit.ly/2z7C4mJ.

December 8 Trans-Siberian Orchestra: ‘The Ghosts of Christmas Eve’

Spectrum Center 333 E. Trade St., Charlotte 3 and 7:30 p.m.

Celebrating not only the Christmas holiday but its own 20th season on tour, TransSiberian Orchestra promises audiences its signature rock-classical crossover, no-holds-barred music and light show extravaganza. “The Ghosts of Christmas Eve” program tells “[the] timeless story of a runaway who finds her way into a mysterious abandoned theater.” Tickets $47.50-$69.50. bit.ly/2QAXAHl. see Holiday Events on 10

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December 8-9 Twirl to the World 10th Annual Holiday Party and Fundraiser

Flight 314 N. College St., Charlotte 10 p.m.-2:15 a.m.

Presented by the Hearts Beat as One Foundation. Doors open at 9 p.m. for event hosts and sponsors, with general admission beginning at 10 p.m. Special guest DJ Grammy nominee Tony Moran.

Minimum donation $20 along with a new, unwrapped toy or book, or $30 without. $30 tickets available for purchase online or at the door; $20 admission with gift must be presented at the venue. 100 percent of proceeds benefit local non-profit organizations including the Humane Society of Charlotte, Time Out Youth, Campus Pride and more. bit.ly/twirltotheworld. twirltotheworld.org.

December 12 Cirque Musica presents ‘Wonderland’

Ovens Auditorium 2900 E. Independence Blvd., Charlotte 7:30 p.m.

Orchestral renditions of holiday classics meet innovative acrobatics and aerial performance. Tickets $50-$85. All ages. ovensauditorium.com/events/cirque-musica.

December 14-16 and 21-23 Charlotte Symphony Pops: Magic of Christmas

Knight Theater at Levine Center for the Arts 430 S. Tryon St., Charlotte Various Times The symphony and resident chorus perform staple holiday sing-along tunes as well as selections from ”The Polar Express” and Tchaikovsky’s “Nutcracker,” the Hallelujah Chorus from Handel’s “Messiah” and the world premiere of a new carol written especially for the Charlotte Symphony. Be on the lookout for Santa and other festive characters who might just come to enjoy the show.

Ticket prices vary by date and time but start at $19-$29 for most performances. charlottesymphony.org/pops.

December 18 ‘Shimmer, Shine… Success!’ Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce Annual Meeting and Awards Gala

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The Westin Charlotte 601 S. College St., Charlotte 6:30-9:30 p.m.

The CLGBTCC invites members and guests alike to celebrate the victories of 2018 and rally for the year ahead. Honorees and special guests will include Mayor Vi Lyles and Equality NC Executive Director Kendra Johnson. The Chamber vows to “keep the business brief,” though, the better to enjoy live music, dancing and hors d’oeuvres.

Festive business attire is requested. Ticket prices are $50 for Chamber members, $75 for non-members. clgbtcc.org/events/chamber.

December 23 Moscow Ballet’s Great Russian Nutcracker

Ovens Auditorium 2900 E. Independence Blvd., Charlotte 3 p.m. and 7 p.m.

The legendary touring company Moscow Ballet arrives in the Queen City with its signature spectacular. Standard admission $30$70. Other cities on the tour are: Asheville, Durham, Fayetteville, Wilmington, WinstonSalem in N.C. and N. Charleston in S.C. bit.ly/2QhzjJp. nutcracker.com.

December 23 Imani Metropolitan Community Church Christmas Play ‘O Come Let Us Adore Him!’

Imani MCC 3602 C-View St., Durham 10 a.m.

Imani MCC’s annual Christmas play is free and open to the public. For more information, call 919-682-0154. imanimcc.org. facebook.com/imanimcc.

December 29 Kwanzaa Celebration

The Harvey B. Gantt Center for AfricanAmerican Arts + Culture 551 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

This free, family-friendly event offers hands-on art and craft activities as well as performances, samples and wares from local businesses of color, and discussions exploring and celebrating the Seven Principles at the heart of Kwanzaa. bit.ly/2TJKtpg.

Keeping Janis Joplin’s legacy alive N.C. native performs Joplin’s albums live all month in QC

BY Jack Kirven | QNotes CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Travis Laughlin channels Janis Joplin as the personality ‘Pearl’ and The Charlotte Holding Company at Snug Harbor during the month of December. (Photo Credit: Lloyd Mulvey, lloydmulvey.com)

T

ravis Laughlin is a dedicated tribute artist, and I felt an immediate connection with him. As a fellow Southern LGBTQ man whose need to perform took me away from the region for a while before returning home, I empathized completely with his story as we chatted together for an hour. He’s a very open, approachable person, and his passion for theatricality is both charming and contagious.

He made me want to get back into the studio to dust off the choreography chops and book a performance venue.

His obsession with Janis Joplin is very familiar to me.

Janet Jackson is the reason I became a dancer, and the reason I found myself traveling all over the world as a dancer and teacher. She changed the course of my life.

Similarly, Travis keeps Joplin’s legacy alive by restaging her music live with a band. He channels Joplin by way of his character, Pearl. His character is the namesake for Joplin’s second studio album. By way of Pearl, Laughlin (along with his band, The Charlotte Holding Company) brings the rock legend’s voice and presence into the present, which is very important to Laughlin, since he feels her legacy has otherwise been neglected and minimized.

Laughlin discovered Joplin’s music accidentally while looking through his mother’s vinyl collection. When he asked his mother who the strange creature on the album cover was, Hazel (Travis’s mother) was dismissive, saying, “That’s Janis Joplin. She couldn’t sing — she only screamed.

Her only good song was ‘Me and Bobby McGee.’” With Hazel being so dismissive, Laughlin put the album aside, forgetting about it until later after the untimely passing of his brother in a fatal car accident. At the funeral, his brother’s friends were playing Joplin’s music, and com-

menting on its importance to his brother. Travis revisited Joplin’s catalogue, and has never left it since. It remains a very important connection to his memory of his brother.

His sense of family and collaboration runs strong. This sentiment is extended to his band. Although I focused our conversation on him, he repeatedly reminded me that his band is an inextricable part of the performance. The Charlotte Holding Company is comprised of some permanent members, and is supplemented with guest artists. Laughlin made it clear that he greatly admires them as amazing talents unto themselves who have learned to play each of Joplin’s albums from beginning to end. And that’s what is absolutely fascinating about their upcoming residency in Charlotte, N.C. Every Wednesday of December 2018, Snug Harbor will showcase Pearl and The Charlotte Holding Company as they perform one of Joplin’s albums. The albums will be performed chronologically, so each Wednesday will be a different performance. The first Wednesday will feature Joplin’s debut album, and each week the band will play the next album in her discography.

Laughlin thought it important to clarify that he identifies as a tribute artist, not a drag queen. Without diminishing the creativity of drag, he asserted that what he does is far more specific. Whereas drag requires the performers to create new characters from scratch with their own idiosyncrasies, Laughlin’s goal is to curate something much more predefined. He does not seek to invent a personality, but rather to preserve one. Although he admires the inspiration drag artists channel, his motive is to channel Janis Joplin in order to educate audiences about her influence on the development of pop culture.

Why does Laughlin think this is important enough to dedicate 25 years of his life to perfecting? Because he sees Joplin as an important mold breaker. He calls her the first female Rock Star, and I don’t see how anyone could refute that assertion. She is one of the artists who began dissolving the separations between “black” and “white” music, which itself was part of the process of integrating a racially segregated culture. Her carefree yet impassioned nature encouraged women to express more independence and autonomy. She empowered women to intensify their efforts to realize equality. In this way, I would posit that she is thus indirectly part of the conversation concerning gender and sexuality that ultimately leads toward LGBTQ efforts toward recognition, tolerance and finally acceptance.

He observed that, as of now, he’s been performing Pearl almost as long as Janis Joplin was alive. Joplin is a member of the ill-fated “27 Club,” a group of major rock artists who all passed away at the age of 27. Some of these other luminaries include Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Curt Cobain and Amy Winehouse. It would be interesting to reconnect with Laughlin on Pearl’s 27th birthday, to get a sense of what it would mean to him to be carrying the torch for so long (eventually, I presume, long enough for Pearl’s lifespan to outpace Joplin’s herself).

Pearl and the Charlotte Holding Company will perform on Dec. 5, 12, 19 and 26, 9 p.m., at Snug Harbor, 1228 Gordon St., in Charlotte, N.C. Cover charge is $5. The venue is open to those ages 21 and older.

For more information, call 917-805-7601 or visit snugrock.com. : :

Nov. 30-Dec. 13, 2018

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Stress and Overeating

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quickly, rather than letting stress linger on, becoming blind to it, and having it cause havoc later.

With the holidays approaching, overeating due to stress may seem unavoidable. Some proactivity and planning can go a long way. Collect some strategies now that can help manage overeating during the holidays and even throughout the year. Because of the variety of foods available at holiday parties, a great way to make sure you aren’t overeating is to use something called the “plate method.” First, fill up half of your plate with nutrient rich vegetables, then use the remaining two quarters for your proteins and carbohydrates. If there are no vegetables available or if you need to treat yourself, try being mindful of how much you’re eating by using a smaller plate and taking the time to chew each bite thoroughly.

Perhaps you struggle with stress and overeating throughout the year. If that’s the case, first, try to identify what triggers it, and plan an alternative. For example, if it’s boredom, try to find an activity to stay busy to avoid sitting around craving that Snickers bar in the back of the pantry. If it’s stress, try to find other outlets. Pick one activity a week that will bring joy, and treat yourself that way. Always wanted to take a pottery class or try the latest exercise craze? Go for it! Why not pair a stressful week at work with a lunchtime massage or an after-work pedicure?

Regardless of the setting, I think it’s important to remember we are human. If you want a cupcake, eat a cupcake. Don’t let eating one treat turn into a binging episode, but don’t deprive yourself now to go eat three times the number of calories in french fries this evening.

Food choices and diet should be sustainable. Healthy living is about creating a lifestyle that promotes longevity and quality of life into our eighties and nineties.

Photo Credit: M.Dörr & M.Frommherz via Adobe Stock

By Savannah Jones, PharmD Candidate Picture this… After a long, stressful day at work, it’s finally time to go home. Seconds after walking in the door you kick your shoes off, pour a glass of your favorite beverage and consume any junk food within reach. You’re not even hungry because of a late lunch, but nothing sounds better than chocolate, ice cream, and chips.

Every once in a while, a treat after a hard day is reasonable, but what if a stress outlet becomes an addiction? Just like illicit drugs, stress can change the chemicals and connections within the structure of your brain.1-3 Stress is the body’s response to harmful stimuli. Stressful experiences may be emotional (loss of loved ones, unemployment) or physiological (illness, drug withdrawal states). Acute stress activates the body’s adaptive response and promotes survival (fight or flight), but prolonged stress leads to “wear and tear” of systems like the immune system, the endocrine (hormone) system, and even the nervous system.1 To differentiate between acute and chronic stress, consider the following: just like in the opening scenario, you walk into your house, but this time it smells horrible. Immediately, you try to find the source of the smell. After a while, the scent is gone, and you forget it even bothered you. Does that mean when your friends come over for dinner later, it will no longer smell? Probably not, unless you’ve gotten rid of the source. It just means you have adapted to the environment. If the bad scent represents stress in our lives, the smell walking into your house prompting you to do something represents acute stress. Adapting to it and having the scent cause problems with your future plans represents chronic stress. It is important to act

References 1. Yau YH, Potenza MN. Stress and eating behaviors. Minerva Endocrinol. 2013;38(3):255-67.

2. Mocanu V, Bontea A, Anton-păduraru DT. EATING BEHAVIOR IN RESPONSE TO ACUTE STRESS. Rev Med Chir Soc Med Nat Iasi. 2016;120(2):223-7.

3. Juruena MF. Early-life stress and HPA axis trigger recurrent adulthood depression. Epilepsy Behav. 2014;38:148-59.

views

It’s more than a name

Legal Eagles: Navigating the ‘system’ for the transgender community

BY Justin R. Ervin, III, attorney | guest WRITER A significant step for many transgender persons is changing their name and gender marker.

While the law of the state where you live applies to your name change and changing your gender marker on your driving license, the law of the place where you were born applies to changing your gender marker on your birth certificate.

This article contains general information about how these processes work under North Carolina law, but it’s not legal advice and does not create an attorney-client relationship. If you have questions, then you should consult an attorney.

Changing Your Name People often change their names upon adoption, marriage, divorce or obtaining citizenship.

Those name changes are tied to their underlying process. This article focuses on general name changes under NCGS chapter 101.

You must post notice of intent to change your name for 10 days at the courthouse in the county where you live (unless you’re a victim of domestic violence, stalking or human trafficking). Show your notice to the Clerk of Superior Court to get it file-stamped before posting and to find out specific posting guidelines.

After satisfying the notice period, submit a signed and notarized petition to the clerk. The petition must contain: (1) your old name; (2) your date and place of birth; (3) a statement that you are a resident of the county in which you’re filing the petition; (4) the full name(s) of your parent(s) shown on your birth certificate; (5) your new name; and (6) a statement of any outstanding tax or child support obligations. If you’re under 18, then one or both of your parents must sign the petition.

Submit with the petition: (1) the file-stamped notice; (2) the results of federal and state criminal background checks conducted within 90 days of filing the petition; (3) signed and notarized statements of good character from two persons who know you, live in the same county as you, are not family, and do not

to change your name on your passport, bank accounts, credit cards and other identification, too.

Choose your new name carefully! If you’re 18 or older, then you only get one shot at changing your name! (Two shots if under 18.) You can repeat this process to resume your old name, but not to change to another new name.

Changing Your Gender Marker NCGS § 130A-118(b)(4) controls amendments to birth records as a result of “sex reassignment surgery.”

You must have undergone some sort of gender-affirmation surgery, but the statute does not state which surgeries qualify; therefore, any surgery that alters your primary sex characteristics could satisfy this requirement. After your surgery, get a signed and notarized letter from your doctor confirming your “sex reassignment surgery.” It’s a good idea Photo Credit: Zerophoto via Adobe Stock to get several originals of this letter.

Submit an Application for a live with you; (4) a filing fee of $120. Some Copy of a North Carolina Birth Certificate clerks require additional information; just with section two completed (download ask when you post the notice. from vitalrecords.nc.gov) and include: (1) Apply for the criminal background your doctor’s letter and (2) the appropriate checks when you post the notice, as fees for changes and copies of your new processing those can take a while. If you’re birth certificate. under 16, then you don’t need to submit If you weren’t born in North Carolina, the results of federal and state backthen you can change your gender marker ground checks or the affidavits of good on your driving license by taking a doctor’s character. There are fees for the criminal letter as described above to DMV. background checks and certified copies of supporting documents.

Conclusion The clerk will review your petition and Each person’s transition is unique. If its supporting documentation and, if everychanging your name and/or gender marker thing is sufficient, issue an order that your is right for you, then I hope that this informaname is changed. It’s a good idea to get tion makes the process less intimidating. : : multiple certified copies of your order, but you can always get more later. There is a Justin R. Ervin, III is a partner in the law firm fee for each copy. If you were born in North of Johnson, Peddrick & McDonald, PLLC in Carolina, then the clerk will notify vital staGreensboro, N.C. Erwin’s practice focuses tistics, which will change your birth record on estate planning, estate administration and bill you for an administrative fee. and adult guardianships. He has a particuTake your order to your local Social lar affinity for serving LGBTQ individuals Security office, update your Social Security and families, as well as immigrant families. record and request a new Social Security Erwin is open and active in the local LGBTQ card. Two days later, take your order to community, having served on the Board of the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) Directors of Guilford Green Foundation. to get a new driving license. Don’t forget

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life

Kundalini Yoga

Health & Wellness: A reminder to stop and breathe

BY Jack Kirven | qnotes contributor

Photo Credit: MG via Adobe Stock

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I’m a busy person. I often have to be up at 5 a.m. to begin training clients at 6 a.m., and then I might not get home from work until 8 p.m. or even 9 p.m. In the middle of all that, there are lots of hours scattered around where I’m working on one project, errand or another. Kinda. It’s hard to get into anything before I have to stop. As you see, the problem I tend to run into is that my “breaks” are more like interruptions. I can take a little time to breathe (and maybe eat), but just as I get into a task, I have to change directions. I like nice and neat starting and stopping points, so imagine my aggravation about higgledy-piggledy scheduling. It’s frustrating.

So, guess what suffers. Mhm. My consistent weak point: Rest. Most people already find me to be an energetic person to say the least. What they might not realize is that they’re nearly always seeing me sleep deprived. When I’m well rested (which seems to happen randomly one night every two or three months), I’m a force of nature: Kitten Boy can save the world!

At any rate, the reason rest is once again on my mind is because a client recently took me to a yoga class as a treat.

There are so many styles of yoga. There are some that I really admire (e.g. the athleticism of Ashtanga, the calm centering of Hatha, and the beautiful flow of Budokon), and others that I really cannot stand (e.g., hot yoga makes me physically ill, and Bikram yoga competitions seem like heresy). But that evening, I experienced a style that I’d heard of, but which was new to me.

Kundalini yoga is “a flow that channels the latent female energy that lies coiled at the base of the spine.” Of all the styles of yoga I’ve experienced, this one is the most specifically and overtly spiritual. Yes, yogi of all styles will say their practice is connected to the soul. But in the overwhelming majority of classes I’ve taken over the course of 20 years, the class itself treats spirit as an afterthought that students are reminded to consider as they lie on the floor during Savasana. Many styles also include, or even focus on, introspective breathing and meditation after a simplified series of poses. But this practice went beyond that.

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Kundalini yoga (as I experienced it for the first time) incorporated practically no poses. Most American students might be confused by this. “Yoga is great exercise!”

Yes, but yoga is a practice going back thousands of years, and as I described in the past, it has many levels (see: goqnotes. com/505/physical-fitness-the-seven-pathsof-yoga/). The “exercise” part of yoga is level three. Most American students skip Yama and Niyama, and jump willy-nilly right into Asana. This wasn’t even an option in this Kundalini class.

From the first moment of greeting each other and inviting the sweet spirits into the space until the last moment of engagement, every part of the practice was focused on activating the creative, healing energy that moves up and down the spine.

Breath was the central focus of physical activity, and all of that breathing went to generating oxygen to improve focus, not necessarily heat to deepen stretches. I was surprised by how relatively early we were lying down in what I always thought of as “the last shape.” But Savasana in this class came early, lasted quite a long time, was an active process of releasing emotional tension (not resting after physical exertion), and was then followed by the most physically vigorous portion of the session.

Everything was either seated or reclined on the floor. Everything. This includes the final activity, which the yogi called “the washing machine,” because it involved nearly two minutes of vigorous twisting back and forth through the chest/ heart/shoulders. It helped open my lungs, and I was able to take deep, powerful breaths that felt cleansing and expansive.

At no point did we stand up, move through Sun Salutation poses, or perform anything akin to Downward Dog, Warrior or Wheel.

And it was amazing.

Kundalini left me feeling refreshed emotionally. I wasn’t sweaty or tired. I was calm, yet energized and focused. There was effervescent joy and light bursting out of my face. I floated home, and then I slept soundly. Obviously, I highly recommend this style of yoga, and I hope you’ll seek it out now that it’s beginning to get a foothold in the Carolinas. : :

a&e

Celibacy: Is it for me?

Tell Trinity

BY Trinity | CONTRIBUTING WRITER Hey Trinity, I’m not becoming a priest, but I thought I’d try celibacy. Do you think it’s a good idea?

The C. Word, Annapolis, MD Hey, The C. Word, Sure, taking a break from sex and selfmanipulation saves your chi, makes you more creative and makes you hungrier for meeting someone special. It can also be smart to take a sex break after a bad relationship. But if you’re going to go celibate because you’re tired of anonymous sex or dating losers, then try again. Celibacy is for people of “the cloth” or people dealing with sex and intimacy addiction. That’s it.

So, pumpkin, before strapping on a chastity belt, first reflect deeply on why you need to do this, and deal with that/those issues first.

Kisses, hugs and handshakes, Trinity

fight back. Besides calling all your friends or searching the Internet, as well as newspapers, for help to find a lover, a job and a room to rent, try oversleeping, exercising, dieting and taking a little trip away. Staying active, honey, is the only way to beat depression. Remember, busy people rarely have time to be depressed! Bored folks are always depressed. (My four-point program to dealing with this whole mess — I mean dilemma — can be learned by taking a look at my cartoon. Once you’re in motion, keep going! Don’t let depression win out.)

Dear Trinity, After a breakup, a job loss and an eviction notice, I’m hitting bottom. I’m always depressed and never have energy. Any advice?

Sincerely, Bottomed Out, Nashville, TN Dear Bottomed Out, You should naturally feel sad for a couple days or a week, but then it’s time to

Dearest Trinity, I’m 39 and fairly stable with a job, money, etc. My boyfriend of almost a year is 21, holds a full- and a part-time job, is very honest and never asks for anything. I buy him flowers weekly and take him out often.

But my friends feel I treat him too well. Is there such a thing as “too well”?

Too Good, Seattle, WA Dearest TG, Giving is totally fine, but remember men get bored easily if they don’t have to work for something. So, let him work a little, which it sounds like he does. Also, sweetie, tell your jealous friends to leave you alone and let you learn about love, dating and giving to your heart’s desire.

And if it doesn’t work out, I’m available!

Kisses, Trinity Hello Trinity, My boyfriend and I have just celebrated one year. Isn’t it time to suggest moving in, getting married or something?

Yours, One Year Itch, Toronto, ONT Hello One Year Itch, Sure, by one year you should be on your way towards some future plans.

However, if it’s going well, must you pull out your “to do” list just yet? Maybe start throwing some hints around if you must, but if you’ll be together forever, why not let it happen organically? P.S. Also read:

Trinity’s Sound Tips For What To Still Not Talk About One Year Into A Relationship 1. Don’t talk about having to MOVE IN together. (Unless you find a cute/cheap two-bedroom apartment.)

2. Don’t talk about MARRIAGE. Not yet!

3. Don’t talk about OPEN RELATIONSHIPS, threeways or threesomes unless you have no sex life and still want to stay together.

4. Don’t talk about your PAST SEXUAL ESCAPADES. Everyone has parts of their past that no one needs to know about, ever!

5. Don’t talk about BUYING PROPERTY together.

6. Don’t talk about or insist on fixing his or her FINANCIAL ISSUES. You don’t want to get that close to anyone just yet!

7. Don’t talk about or try to solve his or her FAMILY’S PROBLEMS. 8. Don’t talk about the benefits of PLASTIC SURGERY even if you have to look at his or her triple chin and crossed eye regularly!

9. Don’t talk about BORROWING MONEY even if one of you has a lot more than the other. Refer to the song: “Money Changes Everything.”

10. A nd lastly, don’t talk about the Republicans and their agenda! It’s way too upsetting!

With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com.

Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

qomunity

qonexions space starting at $22: call qnotes for details 704.531.9988

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events December 1 ‘Under Construction: Collage from the Mint Museum’

November 30-December 8 ‘Fallen Angels’

Duke Energy Theater at Spirit Square 345 N. College St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m. Thursday, 8 p.m. FridaySaturday (plus matinee 2 p.m. Dec. 8), 3 p.m. Sunday The Actors’ Gym bring to life Noel Coward’s classic comedy about a suave former lover who reenters the lives of two best friends. Tickets $20. bit.ly/2B0mESO.

November 30-January 20 ‘The Beyond – Georgia O’Keefe and Contemporary Art’

North Carolina Museum of Art 2110 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Tuesday-Thursday and Saturday-Sunday, 10 a.m.-9 p.m. Friday “The Beyond” exhibits painting and sculpture by the pioneering O’Keefe alongside the works of 20 emerging artists, exploring her lasting impact on the development of contemporary American art. The exhibit is ticketed with “Candida Höfer in Mexico,” a group of 25 large-format photographs of the interiors of Mexican libraries, churches, museums and more. Admission is $18 for adults, $15 for seniors and $12 for youth. Museum members receive half-price admission. Tickets are sold for specific dates and times. bit.ly/2DZhTLI.

Mint Museum Uptown 500 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 1:30-6 p.m. (Public Opening) “Under Construction” constitutes the Mint’s first major exhibition dedicated exclusively to collage.

Free to museum members; all others regular general admission of $15/adults, $10/college students and seniors 65+ and $6/children 5-17. Kids 4 and under admitted free. Full museum Saturday hours 11a.m.-6 p.m. bit.ly/2zni3sB.

December 1 Charlotte Latin Pride Expo

Holy Trinity Lutheran Church 1900 The Plaza, Charlotte 12-4 p.m.

This year’s expo by Charlotte Latin Pride — Orgullo, to hispanophones — boasts performances

by Miss and Mr. Latin Pride 2018, live music, food and dancing, as well as a cooperative endeavor “collaborating with Mexican Photographer Nelson Morales to bring you an interactive visual of the lives of LGBTQ individuals here in the Queen City.” The event will also incorporate a community resource fair and free HIV testing in recognition of World AIDS Day. bit.ly/latinprideexpo. charlottepride.org/latin.

December 2 Boylan Heights Art Walk

Boylan Heights, Raleigh 12-5 p.m.

The historic Boylan Heights neighborhood presents its 26th annual showcase with local artists and

December 2018-January 2019

vendors exhibiting their pottery, painting, photography, handcrafted jewelry, glass and woodwork and more on residents’ porches and lawns. The event is free and open to the public. bit.ly/boylanheights2018.

December 3 106.5 The End’s Festivus ft. Bastille

The Fillmore 820 Hamilton St., Charlotte 8 p.m.

A special lineup sponsored by one of the top rock stations on the FM band, featuring Glorious Sons and Meg Myers along with headline hitmakers Bastille. General admission $39.50. Standing room only. bit.ly/festivuscharlotte.

December 5, 12, 19 and 26 Pearl and the Charlotte Holding Company Snug Harbor 1228 Gordon St., Charlotte 9 p.m.

Janis Joplin tribute artist Travis “Pearl” Laughlin and local backing band the Charlotte Holding Company take up residence on the Snug stage for the month of December, working their way chronologically through the 1960s legend’s four studio albums, including the posthumously-released “Pearl.” $5 cover charge. Ages 21+.

917-805-7601.

December 5 Can You Guess That Wine?

NICO Oysters + Seafood 201 Coleman Blvd., Mt. Pleasant, S.C. 6-9 p.m.

Join We Are Family for a winetasting fundraising event featuring oyster sampling, door prizes and all night happy hour courtesy of NICO’s. $15 entry. waf.org.

December 7-8 Womansong Winter Concert: ‘Lead with Love’

December 11: OUT at the Movies — ‘Evening Shadows’

OUT at the Movies’ latest offering is this award-winning family drama based on producer Mohammed Shaik Hussain Ali’s experiences as a gay man in conservative Indian society. A Q&A with Ali and actor Mona Ambegaonkar will be held after the screening, followed by a reception and awards presentation at Canteen Market & Bistro, 411 W. 4th St. $10 ticket price includes admission to the film, Q&A and reception. a/perture cinema, 311 W. 4th St., Winston-Salem. 6 p.m. outatthemovieswinston.org.

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Nov. 30-Dec. 13, 2018

Submit your events: editor@goqnotes.com

Rainbow Community School 60 State St., Asheville 7:30 p.m. Friday, 8 p.m. Saturday Asheville’s 75-member women’s community chorus presents its annual winter concert, featuring guest artists Peggy Ratusz and Kathryn O’Shea and incorporating songs in English, Spanish and Hebrew. Sign language interpretation will also be provided.

Tickets are $20 for adults and $10 for children, with proceeds to benefit the nonprofit chorus’ operational costs as well as its New Start Program, which provides scholarships and emergency funds to local women in need. womansong.org/december2018-concert.

December 7-16 ‘Buy My Art and Call It Holy’

Durham, various locations, times

December 27–31: ‘Rock of Ages’

A “dynamic” new cast hits Charlotte with the 10th anniversary tour of this jukebox celebration of 1980s rock, including songs by Styx, Twisted Sister, Poison and other staples of the era. Tickets $25-$95.

Show contains adult language and content. Belk Theater at Blumenthal Performing Arts Center, 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte. bit.ly/rockyburlesque. bit.ly/2DHqMc8.

The third installment in artist Monet Noelle Marshall’s “Buy It Call It” Trilogy is comprised of a series of free, open and interactive events variously incorporating music, dance, food, word and ceremony.

Events are appropriate for all ages. monetnoellemarshall.com/buy-itcall-it. bit.ly/buyitcallit.

December 7 ‘Rocky Horror’ Burlesque

The Maywood 658 Maywood Ave., Raleigh 9:30p.m.

A new take on the cult favorite, this “Rocky Horror” mixes play, burlesque — and audience participation, of course. Admission $25 seated or $15 standing room only, both available online; a limited number of standing room only tickets will be available at the door. Ages 21+. bit.ly/rockyburlesque.

December 8 Transgender Name Change Clinic

LGBT Center of Raleigh 324 S. Harrington St., Raleigh 2-6 p.m.

The LGBT Center of Raleigh and its Transgender Initiative invite community members to work with an assembled team of lawyers, notaries, witnesses and peers to address the process of name change on vital government documents.

Experts will provide advice as well as practical assistance in legally altering N.C. driver licenses, U.S. passports and Social Security materials. This event is free and open to the public. Organizers will have copies of some forms on hand. lgbtcenterofraleigh.com.

December 12 Cirque Musica presents ‘Wonderland’

Ovens Auditorium, Charlotte

2900 E. Independence Blvd.

7:30 p.m.

Orchestral renditions of holiday classics meet innovative acrobatics and aerial performance.

Tickets $50-$85. All ages. ovensauditorium.com/events/ cirque-musica.

December 15 Uptown Flea

700 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 9 a.m.-3 p.m.

Live music entertains while copious food truck offerings sustain patrons of more than 80 local vendors, including purveyors of vintage and one-of-a-kind handmade goods. $1 entry fee.

All ages welcome. facebook.com/uptownflea.

December 19 ‘Sleeping Beauty’

Knight Theater at Levine Center for the Arts 430 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m.

In its first-ever American tour, the National Ballet Theatre of Odessa travels to Charlotte from the Ukraine to present this beloved work to Tchaikovsky’s score. Tickets $40-$60. Special group rates may be available for parties of 10 or more. bit.ly/2P0Rez9.

December 28 ‘E.T.: Movie in Concert’ with The Charlotte Symphony Orchestra

Ovens Auditorium, Charlotte 2900 E. Independence Blvd.

7:30 p.m.

The Charlotte Symphony performs legendary composer John Williams’ Academy Award-winning score as the beloved film makes its return to the big screen in high definition. Tickets $19-$99. bit.ly/et-concert.

life

REGULAR EVENTS

Our People: Nikolai Mather

Charlotte Latin Pride

Spanish-language support nights, second and fourth Tuesday of each month, 7 p.m., Charlotte Pride offices at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church, 1900 The Plaza, Charlotte. info: charlottepride.org/latin/

PFLAG Charlotte

Support meetings, second Monday of each month, 6:30-8 p.m., Time Out Youth Center, 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: pflagcharlotte.org

Prime Timers

Monthly meeting including dinner, speaker, games and more for gay men ages 21 and up, 5-7 p.m., Park Road Baptist Church Fellowship Hall, 3900 Park Rd., Charlotte. info: primetimersww.com/charlotte/

Trans Youth Group

Weekly discussion groups for transgender youth ages 13-20 each Thursday, 4:30-6 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org

Transcend Charlotte

Support groups for partners, friends and family of transgender and gender non-conforming adults ages 18 and older, second and fourth Sundays of each month, 6-7 p.m., Time Out Youth Center, 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: transcendcharlotte.org

Youth Drop-In Space

Drop-in space Monday-Friday, 3-6:30 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org

Youth Discussion Group

Weekly discussion groups for LGBTQ youth ages 13-20 each Wednesday, 6:308:30 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org

Youth of Color Group

Weekly discussion groups for LGBTQ and ally people of color each Thursday, 7-8:30 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org

UPDATES/ADDITIONS?

Do you have a regular and reoccurring community event you’d like listed? A listing to update? Email us at editor@ goqnotes.com.

Student, Activist

N

BY Torie Dominguez |qnotes staff WRITER

ikolai Mather has earned more than a few impressive distinctions. With a combination of persistence, talent and audacity, he’s become a college student, a leader, an activist, a pioneer – and most recently, a journalist. This fall, qnotes has had the privilege of welcoming him to the paper as a regular contributor. One of its somewhat less-new staffers now takes the opportunity to get to know Mather and discover what he’s about to bring to the team.

Were you born and raised in the Charlotte area? If not, where did you grow up, and how long have you lived in the region?

Actually, I was born in the San Francisco Bay Area. My family moved out to North Carolina when I was seven, and I spent most of my childhood in Pittsboro. I moved to Charlotte about a year and a half ago for college.

We first met earlier this year we had a conversation about your campaign to establish a queer community center at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. Were you always entirely confident that you’d succeed?

Oh my gosh, no. I’ve always had faith in the members of the [UNC Charlotte LGBTQ+] Coalition, but I wasn’t too confident in my own abilities. That was my first time leading a campaign of that size and scale. I was also on an incredibly unfamiliar turf — I had been living on campus for only a few months, and didn’t fully understand everything about the administration or campus organizing. I’m really grateful for all the encouragement and guidance I received, especially from the folks from Ignite NC and Customer 49.

You marked your debut as a qnotes contributor in August with the similarly-themed essay ‘Patience, Love & Swedish Fish.’

Why was it important to share the journey of your organization with a wider audience?

I think that nowadays, folks get so overwhelmed by the political climate that they feel paralyzed into inaction. … When our elected officials openly claim allegiance to white nationalist movements, it gets really easy to just hide away in your dorm room for a couple days. I wanted to share our story because I know that for a lot of people in the Coalition, it was challenging to not only step out of the closet, but step into the role of an activist. Because being an activist means fully exposing yourself to an incredibly cruel world in hopes that you can change it. In this instance, our stars aligned. And we helped make our campus a little better for LGBTQ+ people.

For many students, this time of year is an academic as well as a seasonal landmark. What are your thoughts as you reflect on the closing fall semester? What are your hopes for the coming spring term?

I’ve been reflecting on growth. I know that I’ve grown a lot this past semester (research projects do that to you). But our campus community has also grown a lot. Me and my friends used to joke about how we probably know all the queer folks on campus, but this past semes-

ter we’ve been proven extremely wrong. It’s like every club meeting there’s a couple new faces. I hope we grow even more connected next spring — and as we plan for our next action, I hope we can make the university even more inclusive.

Was UNCC your first brush with community organizing, or did you have some experience of activism before college?

I had a little experience before college. I chaired a committee that convinced our administration to create all-gender restrooms for trans and nonbinary students. (Our principal was really supportive, but still, no small feat in Chatham County, N.C.) I was the president of one of the first and only queer-straight alliances in our county. And I helped organize an anti-Trump rally in Chapel Hill. But again, I never really sustained a project like the Coalition.

What’s been the greatest challenge you’ve encountered over the past year?

Trusting my gut. When you’re working in social advocacy, you have to take a lot of different people, concepts and needs into account. And when there’s this immense pressure to get things totally right the first time — especially for a newbie like me — decision making is not really an easy process.

What do you consider your greatest triumph?

Probably starting Transgender League Charlotte, which is a UNC Charlotte-based discussion group for trans, nonbinary and questioning people.

What do you do in your downtime?

I don’t have a lot of downtime this semester, but when I do, I try to read. I just finished “Sula” by Toni Morrison, which was absolutely phenomenal. I also like to listen to podcasts (“More Perfect” is my favorite right now).

What might our readers be surprised to learn about you?

If I didn’t get into college, I would definitely be a cowboy. That’s not a joke. I went on a backpacking trip to Wyoming last summer, and met some real ranchers out in the Wind River Mountain Range.

I’ve been dying to go back ever since.

And finally, in four words or fewer, how would you describe that perfect future you’re working for?

Radical justice. Also Cookout. : : For qnotes’ extended feature on Nikolai Mather, visit goqnotes.com/ 61797.

Nov. 30-Dec. 13, 2018

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Nov. 30-Dec. 13, 2018